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Oh God. Oh my God.

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You can always bleep out whatever I say, it's fine.

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I haven't bleeped anything yet.

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Oh, can I get a cool duck noise whenever I say something offensive?

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Like only if you make the noise. OK.

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You know, a couple of duck noises now, like run a couple.

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Here's a. So like, give me a fuck, a crap, a shit.

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I mean, those are all the same.

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OK, so give me a motherfucker.

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Give me one at a time.

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Oh, fuck.

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Crap. Shit.

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Dickbuttballs.

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That's good. I mean, I know how often you say dickbuttballs.

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Yeah, it's a thing I do.

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Awesome. Hi.

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Welcome back to Cage match, colon a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage.

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I am one of your two hosts, Nick, sitting with my second of two hosts.

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Sean. Wait a minute.

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I got that backwards. Yeah, but I went with it.

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So I'm Sean and I'm going to tell you all the racist,

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terrible things I keep in my head.

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This is they've not been drinking today either.

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This is dangerous.

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No, I'm Sean and that's Nick.

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And I don't have a racist bone in my body.

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With our.

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Fuck you guys.

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How's it going?

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How's it going, Peter?

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I have to think about all these clips.

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I'm going to move around to make this sound not terrible.

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Fuck you. Impossible.

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That was that was comedy gold.

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It was something.

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But yes, this is this is the podcast where we use

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horror life decisions in comedy to decide what is the best

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all time Nicholas Cage film.

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Mm hmm.

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Before we get into it, speaking of more horror

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like decisions, I would like to read you something sent to me by my ex spouse.

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Thank God, I thought it was your poetry.

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This is in response to something that was said in the last last episode.

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They say, I unequivocally fucking hate mouth noises.

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So put that in your podcast pipe and smoke it.

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Thanks, dear.

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There's some mouth noises for you.

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Don't do it.

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But anyway, yes, this week we have a treat for you.

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The cage match this week is The Wicker Man

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actual film and Birdie other actual film.

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Yeah, no fake films today.

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No, no, we're just going to talk about things that you can go out

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and watch for yourself and formulate your own decisions.

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I mean, no, don't formulate your own decisions. Listen to us.

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Well, obviously, our decisions are correct. Yes.

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But you can watch them and be like, those guys are smart, good looking.

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They'll maybe listen to this podcast before you decide

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whether or not to watch any of these movies.

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I say always watch and then listen and argue.

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If you watch the or watch the movies before you listen to the podcast,

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then when we say things that you don't like,

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you can just destroy us in the comments section.

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Right. Or yell at your neighbor as is.

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Yeah. Just shout it out. Your neighbor.

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All right. So Birdie Birdie was a real enjoyable movie for me.

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I really enjoyed it. I liked it a lot.

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I thought it was a good watch, something I'd never heard about.

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No, I mean, it's as old as us.

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Yeah. As old as you two.

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Yeah, no. 1984 Birdie, Matthew Modine and Nicolas Cage

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play childhood friends who go to go to Vietnam.

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When they come back, Birdie thinks he's a bird and Nicholas Cage Al has to.

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That's a great wrap up of it.

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Yeah. Really only talking about like a quarter of the movie.

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I mean, that is that is the premise of the film that surrounds the other stuff.

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There's two guys, their childhood friends.

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They both end up going to Vietnam, one enlisted, one drafted.

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One of them comes back with more severe

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or, you know, more visibly severe PTSD

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and the other comically bandaged,

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comically disfigured, I would call them.

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Oh, I was thinking Birdie's is more visibly severe PTSD.

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Oh, you don't really get like Al's PTSD so much until.

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I thought you meant more just the physical.

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The form the deformity of Nicolas Cage.

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No, because like it just brings more, I think, to the table.

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Like Nicolas Cage, like his face is bandaged when he was in Vietnam.

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He was hit with a bomb like or an explosion.

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And that ended up like fucking up his face.

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You kind of meet his character in the present times after his surgery.

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The doctor is like, oh, you know, he's a little bit of a

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butchered man, and he's a little bit of a

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man and he's a little bit of a

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bastard, and it's like, oh, you know, you can get these bandages off

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when you come back from seeing your friend.

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Well, we did a skin graft.

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It's going to itch. Cool.

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And your ear might fall off.

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Yeah, and they kind of like treated as like, oh, you know,

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your wounds are only skin deep.

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Well, as you progress with his character in this timeframe,

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is PTSD and you see like it's, it affected more people differently than

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just thinking they're birds.

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Yeah.

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Not everybody came out of Vietnam thinking they were a bird.

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Just, just birding.

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Quote us, quote us on that.

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Yeah.

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Well, I'm sure you guys probably saw this when you did your deep dives, but, um, I

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was fascinated by the fact that he actually pulled out some of his teeth for this role.

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Two of them.

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Yeah.

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Without anesthesia.

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I didn't read that part, but that tracks and I like it.

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Two teeth removed without anesthesia to give himself more of a bombed face.

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This guy as an actor, we're talking about Nicholas Cage.

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Nicholas Cage is just, he commits.

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He's a craftsman.

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Yeah.

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This is why I kind of joked about it during the adaptation episode.

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I can't believe he didn't just gain 50 pounds.

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Oh, he also lost 15 pounds.

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He lost 15.

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Which I mean, that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but if you see him at the beginning of

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the movie.

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Right now, it's, it's rough.

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At the beginning of the movie, like Nicholas Cage is fucking jacked.

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Yeah.

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Like in high school, the character is a wrestler and you see him lifting weights at one point.

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And he's like, he's fucking cut.

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I do enjoy the first time we see Nicholas Cage as a high schooler.

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He's hanging out with actual teenagers.

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Oh yeah.

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It is just shocking the juxtaposition of 14 year olds with adult Nicholas Cage, who is,

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as Nick pointed out, cut.

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Yeah.

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He's got those deep cum gutters.

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Those gutters.

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Didn't you guys have like one person at your high school who was just like weirdly an adult?

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Yes.

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His name was Rocco and he drove, he drove an IROC and he.

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Incredible.

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He was dating the hottest blonde chick in school.

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Like he was the stereotype.

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Oh, we just had a guy who was 14 who had like full on male pattern baldness, like had no hair.

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Not like alopecia, but like just widow's peak all the way like back of his ears.

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Sure.

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That's the guy who gets you beer.

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Yeah.

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Let's get back to Birdie or whatever.

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So we never learned Birdie's actual name in the film.

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No, he's always just Birdie.

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I thought for a while his name was just actually Birdie and his mother hates his obsession with

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birds and like fucking named the kid.

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I mean, a lot of great physical acting from Matthew Modine just sitting by toilets hunched over.

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Just burden about.

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Just burden about.

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Al even calls him out on his inability to hop like a bird, fly like a bird,

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eat like a bird, drink like a bird, shit like a bird.

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Have we actually like accurately said what this movie's about?

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I think so.

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Dude thinks he's a bird and he's in a mental institution.

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That's the part we left out.

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OK, so he's in a military hospital.

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Military hospital.

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They bring his buddy, Alan, played by Nicholas Gage to help him kind of like see if they can

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jog anything out of him because he's unresponsive.

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He just like squats around and like those weird bird poses and.

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Oh, yeah, they don't the hospital doesn't know about the whole bird thing.

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Yes.

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No, he's unresponsive.

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And the movie is just a series of like flashbacks taking place from Al's point of view, basically,

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as he meets and develops a friendship with Birdie, how everything kind of relates back.

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So how like kind of like his fall into birdness.

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Birditude.

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Birditude.

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The flashbacks are just kind of cut in to the story of Al trying to help his buddy kind of.

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Well, there's some interesting juxtapositions they add there because a lot of these stories are

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completely disconnected.

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Kind of.

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Well, OK, like the flashbacks don't necessarily lead to the next flashback,

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but the flashbacks do tie into what's going on in like real time or like current day time, knowing

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about the the baseball baseball hit over.

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Yeah, Birdie's mom would keep all the baseballs that came over their fence,

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but no one ever saw them again.

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Yeah, Birdie couldn't even find them.

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I'm trying to remember the connection with the car.

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Well, because they talk about his arrest history, Al's arrest history,

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when he goes to visit because they're kind of feeling him out for whether he needs to be in a

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mental institute.

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Yeah, that doctor is a dick.

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Yeah.

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Oh, that doctor is a dick, but his secretary fucking rules, dude.

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I wish I could just hang out and like spit on shit all the time.

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Oh, I mean, I don't want like Vietnam PTSD, but pretty cool secretary.

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Pretty cool secretary.

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I mean, we just how shitty is that you're like you're told you're going to visit your friend to

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help him.

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And all the while, you're just everyone's telling you, hey, maybe you're crazy and should be in

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here.

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That seems like a lot.

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I thought one thing with the car situation that was interesting is that Birdie is like pretty

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passive.

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Yeah.

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I mean, he's adventurous, like he jumps off the fucking grain silo or whatever.

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But then it's a refinery.

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Oh, so he doesn't seem like somebody who wants to fight.

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And then he gets so mad at Al's dad in that scene.

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I think he's like he's very focused in his passion with things like most of the time.

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It's birds.

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But preceding the scene with the car, you've got Birdie and Al.

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They dress up like pigeons.

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Birdie makes him a pigeon suit.

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They dress up.

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They go to a refinery.

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They're stealing pigeons or capturing pigeons.

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OK.

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Their friendship develops initially.

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Because of a bit.

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Yeah.

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And it just becomes this thing.

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So Birdie is catching and training pigeons because he thinks it would be cool.

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Al gets into it because some kid says that he thinks it would be cool and he would pay for one.

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And Al's like, OK, that's cool.

226
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But then he starts talking to Birdie and becomes friends with him.

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The kid's name is Mario, who is a piece of shit.

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Oh, anybody named Mario is a piece of shit.

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Well, because the way Birdie and Al meet is Mario's like, hey, that that bird kid's out on the porch.

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He's got my pocket knife.

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So Al goes up and he's like, I got a splinter.

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Can I borrow your knife?

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And Birdie pulls out a pocket knife.

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And Mario's like, that's my knife.

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He's got my knife.

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So Al proceeds to start trying to kick Birdie's ass to get the knife back.

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When it turns out it was stolen by another kid and then sold to Birdie.

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And it's like you.

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I was like, you told me this guy stole your knife.

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I was like, no, I just said he had my knife.

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I'm like, fuck you, Mario.

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Fun bit in that scene when Al is trying to like grapple Birdie, he like Birdie keeps kind of slipping out.

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And afterwards, once they've kind of realized the confusion and gotten over it all, Al's like, hey,

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were you ever do you wrestle?

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00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:43,720
Are you a wrestler?

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Because Al's a wrestler.

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And it's my one defining character trait.

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Yeah.

249
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,200
And Birdie's like, no, but I think it was later that year.

250
00:12:54,200 --> 00:13:02,120
Matthew Modine appeared in the movie Vision Quest, which is a wrestling movie.

251
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:03,880
Weird connection.

252
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,760
That's all.

253
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,800
It's also been in like three Vietnam movies.

254
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,000
Well, yeah.

255
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:09,640
Yeah.

256
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,520
Modine has been.

257
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,080
Yeah.

258
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:15,560
Full metal jacket, this and one other, which I can't remember what it was called.

259
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,960
Did you see that he actually entered or auditioned for the owl role?

260
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,280
Yeah.

261
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:20,520
Yeah.

262
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,000
And then was surprised when he didn't get it.

263
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:23,240
Yeah.

264
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:27,480
It's like, like you have big introvert energy.

265
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,240
You need to be Birdie.

266
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,640
Going back to the whole car story, though, I mean, was Birdie's fascination

267
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:38,040
because Birdie's fascination with birds is their ability to fly initially.

268
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:42,520
So is his fascination with the car when he gets so pissed off on Al's dad

269
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:48,600
sells their car, the car that they rebuild, is that because the car was his way out of

270
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,160
Philly that he just wanted to like explore and leave and couldn't.

271
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:59,800
And then because he becomes so much more introverted and starts living in his little

272
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,360
bird coop that he's built into his room more after the fact.

273
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,600
I took it more.

274
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,840
OK, so I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the preceding flashback

275
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:16,840
with all the pigeons and everything, there came a moment where they're stealing pigeons

276
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,040
or catching pigeons.

277
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:27,880
He is falling off of a refinery silo thing and decides like he can jump off and make

278
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,720
it to the sand pile and be OK.

279
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,880
He gets hurt in the process.

280
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:38,680
His mom freaks out afterwards and she destroys his pigeon aviary and everything.

281
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,880
So like takes away all of his like toys, basically.

282
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:42,440
Yeah.

283
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:48,440
My thoughts are that in the next flashback, when they start talking about this car,

284
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:53,480
it's like a sort of behavioral thing, like somebody who gets so into something

285
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,440
and then is told like, you can't have that.

286
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,120
You can't like talk about it.

287
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:58,920
You can't do it.

288
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,200
They've taken away everything.

289
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:07,160
You just throw yourself so far into something else that now it's like, well, I can't bird

290
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:12,520
without being bitched at by my mom because parents just don't understand.

291
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:19,080
And so I'm going to go super hard on this car with my buddy.

292
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:20,520
I mean, he tries.

293
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:25,880
He tries to be a normal person ish, but almost always for Al's sake.

294
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:26,440
Yeah.

295
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,840
Al wants him to do this thing with him.

296
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,640
He can't like he's being grounded from being a bird.

297
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,440
So most of Al's ideas involve finding finding boobs.

298
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:36,920
Oh, yeah.

299
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:37,960
He loves a good boob.

300
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:38,920
He loves a good boo.

301
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,680
A lot of a lot of groping in this film.

302
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:49,160
I mean, not a lot, but do I think kids in the 60s were touching boobs?

303
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,600
Yep, I do.

304
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,100
Yeah.

305
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,040
Do I think they use the language that we see in the film?

306
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,920
I mean, there's no real rough language.

307
00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,420
No.

308
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:05,160
At one time, there's a question of like, oh, you two were friends.

309
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,680
You hung out a lot in school.

310
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,760
And it's like, well, we're not queer for each other.

311
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,640
It's like, OK.

312
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,000
Yeah, that's about it.

313
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,760
Around the time of Vietnam.

314
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,360
And he doesn't say it in a hateful fashion.

315
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,400
He's just like, well, we weren't we weren't lovers.

316
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,160
Did I think it was a poor representation of filmmaking from the 60s?

317
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,520
Filmmaking from the 80s?

318
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,840
No, I've seen way worse.

319
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:38,200
I do love, though, just this era of film has such great abrasive ambient music.

320
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,720
Oh, are you dogging on Peter Gabriel?

321
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:48,760
I am not dogging on Peter Gabriel because it is just a it is a thing in movies of the 80s,

322
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:56,200
specifically around this time, where just ambient music for a scene is never just like it's.

323
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:04,440
A lot of electronic, a lot of just loud in your face music that is all there.

324
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,560
OK, this is actually really important.

325
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:13,240
Peter Gabriel was originally lined up to produce the music for this and

326
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,000
his agent or whatever is like, he doesn't have time for that.

327
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,040
He he takes way too fucking long to make anything.

328
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,400
So they end up kind of just getting him to do the score and they do it by having him

329
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:30,040
go back through things he's recorded previously and just has around.

330
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:34,520
And then they used brand new computer technology.

331
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,600
So this is the first time it was like,

332
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:42,360
like largely embraced in the film industry to use this technology to make it.

333
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,040
So he started that.

334
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,360
This is the the progenitor.

335
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,800
All right. That's pretty cool.

336
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:54,840
In that same vein, the there's a scene after Bertie goes to the prom, touches his first boob.

337
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,600
Presumably.

338
00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,360
I mean, he gives it a nice little like like undercut, like lift and drop,

339
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:09,000
but goes home to his bird, sleeps in the coop, but has his dream of flying

340
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,840
and that flying scene throughout the neighborhood and around.

341
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,400
That was also the first time like the flight cam had been invented.

342
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,320
Yeah, the invention of the sky cam.

343
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:24,280
Yeah, it also only worked in the first take and didn't work in like subsequent takes.

344
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,280
Yeah, because they couldn't get it to like go the wires right.

345
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,720
So they had to switch back to a steady cam on an improvised boom

346
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,800
because they wanted it to be faster than the original sky cam shot.

347
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,080
I read that as well.

348
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,680
I mean, but this is also like the progenitor of like Sam Raimi's Spider-Man.

349
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:46,440
Yeah, no, there's great technology and advances being made in this little, like,

350
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,440
12 million dollar indie movie.

351
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,360
In the background, a lot of these scenes, you see Bertie working on his wings.

352
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,600
Yeah, that's a fun scene.

353
00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:02,520
They go out to to the dump and Bertie has his ornithopter.

354
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,320
Ornithopter wings ornithopter wings.

355
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,880
He's been building a small one that flies around his classroom

356
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,480
while he's talking about how cool bird wings are.

357
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,080
And so I was like, that's you know, that's a pretty big drop.

358
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,560
And Bertie's explaining gravity and how he won't like pick up that much speed from falling.

359
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,720
I'm like, Bertie doesn't understand gravity at all.

360
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,760
But they need a certain amount of speed to get him going.

361
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:29,800
So he gets on the handlebars of Al's bike and Al starts like, oh, no, it's it's Bertie's bike

362
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,120
because he specifically says, don't go over the edge.

363
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,320
I don't want you fucking up my bike.

364
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:34,040
It's true.

365
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,640
So and then Bertie is airborne.

366
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:38,920
Yeah, he glides down the hill.

367
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,040
Yeah.

368
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,240
And then crashes into sewage.

369
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,040
Yeah.

370
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:44,600
Yeah.

371
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:52,280
Dump pond and dump pond like that dump pond going down the old dump pond.

372
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,560
Going to get some dump fish.

373
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,400
I got something even for this scene.

374
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,600
OK, go for it.

375
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:57,800
Yeah.

376
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:03,880
So when they shot this scene in the dump with Bertie going over the edge and everything,

377
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,360
they were like, OK, this is an issue.

378
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:12,120
This is initially there were concerns about shooting at this landfill because of the

379
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,480
methane smells and like the general uncleanliness of it.

380
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:20,360
But when they do the scene where he flies off the edge, they were like, OK,

381
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,440
this is pretty rough.

382
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,240
This is dangerous.

383
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,120
We're going to have him land in this pond.

384
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:30,600
And they tested the water and they were like, that is just straight up toxic.

385
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:36,200
We can't have Matthew Modine or a stunt man or anybody contacting that.

386
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:42,920
So they dug their own manmade pond inside of the dump for him to land in.

387
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,680
That's how little money this movie was made on that they just shot an actual dump.

388
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:52,280
They shot in Philly and Santa Clara, I think.

389
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,240
Yeah, I think that's right.

390
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:53,740
Interesting.

391
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,000
Yeah.

392
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,640
So let's go back to Bertie in the hospital.

393
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,480
Al is increasingly getting a bit more erratic.

394
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:07,560
He is told they're just going to ship his friend off to be drugged in a hospital

395
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,240
somewhere for the rest of his life.

396
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:09,740
Yeah.

397
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,560
Al's being his own sanity is being questioned at the time and they're just going to ship

398
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,600
them off back to base.

399
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:21,000
So he is getting more abrasive and angry at Bertie and at himself.

400
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,160
Yeah, time's running out for Al or in Al's mind.

401
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:34,520
And his Hail Mary is to call Bertie's mom and have her mail all the baseballs

402
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,120
that she'd kept over the years because she must have been burying them.

403
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,000
They're pretty dirty.

404
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,400
So they showed up like, oh, that is a that is a lot of spite, lady.

405
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,640
Yeah, it was a suitcase full of baseballs that he just pours out over the floor.

406
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,680
And it's like, Bertie, look, it's the baseballs.

407
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,720
Your mom kept them.

408
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,760
I'm like, that's I mean, everything about that's weird.

409
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,800
Yeah. And it doesn't really get the response he wants.

410
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,040
I mean, it kind of leads to it.

411
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:06,040
I mean, it really isn't until like they are alone and they're about to after Al

412
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,280
threatens the nurse and gets very I'm not going to leave here.

413
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,560
You know, you're going to have to force me to leave.

414
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,120
And she runs off to get the orderlies that Bertie's finally just like pipes up and he's

415
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,480
just like, calm the fuck down, buddy.

416
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:18,600
Yeah. Yeah.

417
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,320
He just comes out with like, oh, I haven't been so long.

418
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,320
I haven't been speaking because I didn't feel like I needed to.

419
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,200
It's like, well. Oh, yeah.

420
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,920
Then the doctor shows up and it's like, he talked, he talked.

421
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,520
And the doctor's like, no, he didn't say he did.

422
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:29,800
Bertie talking.

423
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,760
Bertie doesn't say shit.

424
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,840
And the doctor, like, runs out.

425
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,920
It's like, why can't you fucking say anything?

426
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,360
Like, I have anything to say.

427
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,920
Yeah. Fucking guy doing it all for you, bro.

428
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,040
I don't know.

429
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:46,840
So then, you know, this is interspersed with some non flashbacks for both of them.

430
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,960
And then they're on the run, like through the hospital.

431
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,560
Bertie, who's been crouched this whole time, hobbling along

432
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,480
and they make their way to the roof.

433
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,480
And Bertie takes his final flight.

434
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,880
Yeah. Bertie climbs up onto the lip, the edge of the roof.

435
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:06,280
And Al's at the door, like trying to barricade it and looks to see Bertie, like,

436
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,320
lift his arms and it's like, Bertie, no.

437
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:15,080
And Bertie jumps and Al runs to the edge, shocked and wide eyed.

438
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,760
And it cuts to Bertie being just about four feet down on another landing

439
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,320
and being like, what credits?

440
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,200
Yeah. Yeah.

441
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,320
What do you think about the ending?

442
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,600
I thought the ending was just a fucking cherry on top.

443
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,120
I did. I love the ending.

444
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,680
Nick, you got a quote?

445
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,120
I got a couple here.

446
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,240
So I need to pull it up.

447
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:33,480
All right.

448
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:43,000
I was really a big fan of when Bertie presents Al with his pigeon suit,

449
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,360
like a suit made of like pigeon feathers from their coop.

450
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,920
Like, and Bertie's like, this way they'll think you're one of them.

451
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:53,000
And Al just goes, but I don't want the pigeon to think I'm one of them, Bertie.

452
00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:05,800
When Al is trying to talk to Bertie about how great boobs are and Bertie's just like,

453
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,720
I don't see what's so great about them.

454
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,600
It's just like a cow's but in the wrong spot.

455
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,200
And Al's just like, what?

456
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,320
No, you're an idiot.

457
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:14,440
I enjoyed that.

458
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,720
I don't have the actual quote.

459
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:16,680
I'm not going to read it to you.

460
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,960
I also did like when they're at the shore and Bertie gets obsessed with how long he can hold

461
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,000
his breath for.

462
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,280
It's like, count for me, Al.

463
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,360
And Al's just one Mississippi, two Mississippi.

464
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:29,080
And like Bertie just stays under the water for a long time.

465
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,000
It's like 14 Mississippi, 15 Mississippi.

466
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,240
It's the 15th Mississippi, Bertie.

467
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,480
You have 15 Mississippi.

468
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,280
That's 15.

469
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,760
I don't remember the exact moment this happens.

470
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,680
I think it was in the Insane Asylum, but he...

471
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,280
Bertie says, Al, I flew.

472
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,920
And then the cage goes, you flew?

473
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:47,720
How you flew.

474
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,280
How you flew was good.

475
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,520
I do have just one more I want to share.

476
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:59,080
It's when it's in the Insane Asylum and it's when they're like going to take Al away from

477
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,000
Bertie and Al's just shaking.

478
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,280
Bertie was like, it's time to start flapping your wings and beeping, Bertie.

479
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:07,800
That's good.

480
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:08,920
This movie was pretty good.

481
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:09,480
It was.

482
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,600
It was a great movie.

483
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,920
It's very enjoyable.

484
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:17,240
I think it really suffered from their attempt at getting it into awards.

485
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,400
They gave it a limited release.

486
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,120
I actually had one last piece of trivia.

487
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:33,240
Al's last name, Columbata, is a reference to the genus or species of pigeon,

488
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,560
Columba or Columbus or something like that.

489
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,200
Interesting.

490
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,520
So it's a direct reference to a bird.

491
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,080
So it's a direct reference to birds again.

492
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:42,360
That's cool.

493
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,040
So someone's paying attention.

494
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:44,760
Yeah.

495
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,600
This is the informational podcast.

496
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,000
This is a science podcast now, and we're giving you all the hard sciences.

497
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,920
Brief sidebar.

498
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,920
Did you notice in the credits for Bertie that they listed all the birds?

499
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:57,640
Yes.

500
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,800
The birds got listed in the credit scene.

501
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,440
I didn't.

502
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,480
And that's awesome.

503
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,640
Herd has a stunt bird.

504
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:03,880
Yep.

505
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,800
Well, they also had, I mean, it was like a shit ton of animals that were involved.

506
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:13,560
There was an actual animal handler in the movie who handled like there was like 84 pigeons,

507
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,520
some 14 canaries or some shit.

508
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:17,000
A bunch of dogs.

509
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,960
A bunch of dogs.

510
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,840
Like cats or something for some reason.

511
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:21,480
Yeah.

512
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,280
It was wild.

513
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,720
It was a real animal film.

514
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,160
Animal lovers.

515
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,760
So the Wicker Man.

516
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:31,000
So the Wicker Man, California Highway Patrol officer Nicholas Cage.

517
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,480
I just rewatched this this morning.

518
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,000
I already passed on his name.

519
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:35,800
Ed Mayless.

520
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,360
Ed Mayless.

521
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,160
He.

522
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:44,920
Latin for male or derived from the same prefix for male, which is funny because of the island.

523
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:45,480
Yeah.

524
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,080
I mean, it's pretty hand fisted.

525
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:47,960
Yeah, it is.

526
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,200
After Neil, which is also what I call masturbation.

527
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:50,680
It is ridiculous.

528
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,680
Who are you, Nick?

529
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,480
Do we have to talk about Wicker Man, though?

530
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:55,800
Yes.

531
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,000
Like we could just do a two hour podcast on Bertie.

532
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,520
No, no.

533
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:01,320
I mean, you can.

534
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,000
That could be that could be how this one goes.

535
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,760
I'm going to low key say right now, I love Wicker Man.

536
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,760
OK, we're continuing for them.

537
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:09,800
All of its terrible.

538
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:10,360
Yes.

539
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,080
So like way back at the beginning, though, there's the truck stop.

540
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:15,560
Yes.

541
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,760
Which makes no sense.

542
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:17,960
It is important.

543
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,760
Aaron Eckhart is in the background in one of those scenes.

544
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,040
Like, what the fuck?

545
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,080
This movie has weird.

546
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,280
There's weird cameo.

547
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:24,920
Yeah.

548
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,760
OK, so he goes and gets like a little girl drops her doll out of a car.

549
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:29,960
I can go back.

550
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,800
Oh, you want to hear what I have to say about this?

551
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,080
Yeah, I do.

552
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,360
I'm not just here for comic relief.

553
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:36,920
Yeah.

554
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,360
So like, it's kind of important.

555
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:46,120
Like you get to set up a lot of mental instability questions.

556
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:50,920
I'll talk through this with details and we'll see where we get.

557
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,400
Nicholas Cage, chips cop.

558
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,560
He's just riding around being a chips cop doing cool motorcycle maneuvers,

559
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,720
which is to say riding straight.

560
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,040
I do like the one guy pulls over, though.

561
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,840
He's like, no, I pulled you over and the guy was just like, yeah.

562
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,640
Yeah.

563
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,480
I mean, that's how I respond to cops.

564
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,080
Few words as possible.

565
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,000
Yeah, I know what you pulled me over.

566
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,840
You're a dick.

567
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,640
And there it is.

568
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,840
We got a lot of love for the boys in blue here.

569
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,120
The blue man group, right?

570
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,040
Yeah, obviously.

571
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,560
Anyway, you're saying.

572
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:27,880
So he's riding along, goes through a couple of routine stops.

573
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,960
You get to him following a station wagon.

574
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,360
Little girl throws a doll out the window.

575
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:35,160
He's cool.

576
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:39,400
He can lean over and pick up a doll while riding his motorcycle.

577
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:44,840
Let me tell you, that would be very difficult to put your weight off that far

578
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,600
to scoop something up off the ground while riding on a motorcycle.

579
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,560
Also, it's it's road trash at that point.

580
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:55,640
Yeah, you pull them over for littering, you ticket them and say, go pick up your day.

581
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,000
And all well.

582
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,520
And then when he like gives a girl back her doll, she immediately like throws it out

583
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,960
the window again in front of him.

584
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:09,640
But when he goes to pick up the doll, you hear that of the truck that slams into the

585
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,760
station wagon.

586
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,680
No, there's so much still.

587
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,800
God damn, Sean.

588
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,000
Why can't you just watch a movie and remember things?

589
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,280
Nick is our context guy.

590
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,520
So he gives the doll back.

591
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,000
He kind of like, you know, is cool.

592
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,080
Like, hey, I'm a motorcycle cop.

593
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,280
Oh, it's all right.

594
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,960
Kids do these things.

595
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,560
Why did you throw it out the window?

596
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,640
And she's like, I was bored.

597
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,800
And it's like, you're a shitty kid.

598
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,360
And then she throws it out the window again.

599
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,920
And he goes and gets it.

600
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:46,200
And immediately, like as he turns around, the car is panicked by a fucking semi,

601
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,720
which then catches on fire.

602
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,800
Not the semi immediately.

603
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,440
Yeah, that station wagon is made of wicker.

604
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:52,760
Yeah.

605
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,280
And so he tried with her wagon wicker wagon.

606
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,080
I'd read that wicker wagon.

607
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,840
So he's like trying to get this like kid and everything out of the car.

608
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:07,480
And he like smashes the window and the kids looking at him like she's still bored.

609
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,720
And it's like, well, that's weird.

610
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,400
And then it exploded.

611
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:16,040
Well, the kid and the lady disappear from the car.

612
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,600
They're not visible in the car anymore.

613
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,720
The camera cuts, cuts back and it's like, oh, where are they?

614
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,280
And then it explodes throwing Nicolas Cage back.

615
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:29,960
He continues to have throughout the movie flashbacks going back to this moment.

616
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,160
But then like sometimes in the flashback, there's people in the car.

617
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,360
Sometimes there's not.

618
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,080
When he talks to his partner, he even asks, did they ever find the people?

619
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:39,720
Yeah.

620
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:44,520
And no, no, we've got a mental stability question.

621
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:51,720
This scene is important because it starts to bias us about the narrator.

622
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,280
This movie has so many unnecessary red herrings in it.

623
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:56,760
Oh, yeah.

624
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,000
I know.

625
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,360
It's like to set up this mystery.

626
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,480
And part of it is just whether or not he's insane.

627
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,880
He takes the he takes a ferry to Washington.

628
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,080
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was more than a ferry ride, but I've been on our ferry system.

629
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,200
It doesn't go down to.

630
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,400
I was on it today.

631
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:18,440
Los Angeles goes up to Washington to find this island.

632
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,240
Somerset Isle.

633
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,080
Now, summer's.

634
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:21,640
I don't know.

635
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,880
I'll say that was the one word.

636
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,000
Yeah, some of them.

637
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,000
They changed because they didn't think Americans could say summer aisle.

638
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,040
Summer aisle.

639
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,040
Yeah, the original is summer aisle.

640
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:37,640
So he's on the he's on the ferry and he's like clutching the letter and he sees a girl with

641
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,800
pigtails that looks like the girl from the truck or who was hit by the truck

642
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,560
and also kind of looks like the photo of the girl he's going to find.

643
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:50,680
And he sees her from behind and he's just staring and then just she's on the outside

644
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:55,880
railing of the ferry just outside the glass and then out of nowhere semi-truck just plows

645
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:56,520
her out.

646
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,720
Yeah, this guy.

647
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,640
Yeah, so this guy's got like, OK, I got to take you back.

648
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,680
More PTSD.

649
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,400
Even is a PTSD moving in.

650
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,760
We really have done a good job of pairing these things together accidentally.

651
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,080
Yeah.

652
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:09,240
Yeah.

653
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:15,160
So before he even goes back to Washington or goes up to Washington to investigate this,

654
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:19,320
before he gets the note and everything, we have a scene with him at home.

655
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:24,120
He's taking medication like he's medicating himself because of everything.

656
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:24,520
It could be.

657
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,200
Well, it's not pain because he was never physically injured.

658
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,480
Thrown from the car.

659
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:29,720
Yeah.

660
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:37,640
OK, so like maybe he so maybe he like sprained a butthole or something, but he was not physically

661
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,240
injured in such a way that he needed to be taking pain medication.

662
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:47,960
So he's taking medication now because of just the trauma of seeing people explode in front

663
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:48,440
of him.

664
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,120
But we don't know if he actually saw people explode in front of him because we've got

665
00:32:52,120 --> 00:33:00,200
an unreliable narrator and his female cop friend stops by and like checks on him and

666
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:05,480
whatnot asks if he's going to go for detective, which this man is a terrible detective.

667
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,400
Yeah, he should not go for detective.

668
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,760
Yeah, so he gets a visit from her female cop.

669
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,200
That's how she's credited.

670
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:16,840
And so he goes in like next we see him go into the.

671
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,080
She delivers his mail.

672
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,720
I mean, she's there to deliver mail that was delivered to the precinct.

673
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,080
Yeah, and that's how he gets the letter.

674
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:23,880
Sorry, I missed that.

675
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:30,200
What a handwritten letter by his ex fiance that her child has gone missing.

676
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,360
So he gets this handwritten beautifully.

677
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,280
I was I was also going to be a papyrus, but it's not.

678
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,360
No, it's it's cursive.

679
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,240
Sorry, millennials or Gen Z.

680
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,760
Who doesn't read cursive these days?

681
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:51,240
So but he's off to summer's aisle after this rides a pilot who delivers a male pilot who

682
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,760
delivers supplies over to the island and they're very, very secretive.

683
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,240
We all have secrets and doesn't want to help.

684
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,800
So he rides him with a hundred bucks, gets him over there where he is,

685
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,520
goes introduces himself to some of the locals.

686
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:05,960
It goes well.

687
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,000
A couple of ladies who never heard of the child.

688
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:14,200
Oh, and a bunch of dudes carrying a bleeding sack that's just wriggling.

689
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:14,840
Yep.

690
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,560
And nobody will say what's in the bleeding sack.

691
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:18,760
What was in the sack?

692
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:23,560
And then when he goes to open the sack, it like shakes and he jumps back and doesn't

693
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,080
look in it and we never know.

694
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,720
And and then he just takes his luggage and walks away.

695
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:29,800
No, it shakes because they shake it at him.

696
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:30,280
OK, wait.

697
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,120
They were doing they were messing with them.

698
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,760
So did you watch the theatrical version?

699
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:35,480
The actual version.

700
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:36,360
The actual version.

701
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,120
Have you seen the uncut version?

702
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,040
I have not because you can't rent it.

703
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:40,520
Yeah.

704
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:41,080
OK.

705
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,880
You tube to the uncut scenes.

706
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:44,600
Yeah.

707
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,680
Because I was curious in the uncut if there was anything more about that bag.

708
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,000
Was it a shark?

709
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,200
I don't know anything about it.

710
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,160
I don't think it was a shark.

711
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,760
I just think it was just a mess of them.

712
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:56,840
But it was bleeding.

713
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,560
He's a he's a fucking cop.

714
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:00,840
How did he not look?

715
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:01,960
He's not a good cop.

716
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:02,680
And OK, that goes.

717
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,720
He's not a good guy.

718
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:08,120
I wasn't the very next scene because he goes up to he's on this island

719
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:13,080
that has no hospitality and doesn't want strangers there, walks in there

720
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:17,560
and Sister Beach, who is a piece of work.

721
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,440
First thing she says, I'm like, oh, you're a detective.

722
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,320
Yeah.

723
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,760
Oh, you're Detective Malice.

724
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,640
And he doesn't pick up on the fact that he is expected.

725
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:31,720
No, it was pretty heavily implied that like word is getting ahead also on his trip.

726
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:38,280
Like, oh, this guy's arrived because I mean, private land, nobody ever goes there.

727
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,120
It's not expected that people go there.

728
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:41,480
It should be.

729
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,320
It should be expected that word gets up.

730
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,360
The island is way bigger than you think it is.

731
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,480
It should be a lot smaller, but this island is insanely large for what it is.

732
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:59,720
But you could also see where the plane lands from the boarding house.

733
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,400
Maybe it's the size of Bashan.

734
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,600
I think Bashan's a good.

735
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,400
Let's make this more regional than it already is.

736
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:05,640
Yeah.

737
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,000
Let's just talk about our one tiny little island.

738
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,040
Also, they were expecting him specifically.

739
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:17,400
It's a quick cut, but they said like so and so or whatever at this

740
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,160
at the guest house or whatever.

741
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,640
He doesn't know where fucking anything is.

742
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,240
Nobody gave him directions.

743
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:26,440
I could be like, oh, yeah, man, why don't you just run up to like,

744
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,880
you know, for a movie, this Ethiopian play movie.

745
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,320
I'm assuming you're not going to vote for you.

746
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:31,880
You're defending it.

747
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:32,360
A lot.

748
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,960
Devil's advocate, man.

749
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:36,920
I like to talk.

750
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:42,600
But either way, his his lady friend, former lady friend, is Willow.

751
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,320
Sister Willow.

752
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,080
She can't talk there.

753
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,360
So she leaves him a note in his room that, you know, she's being watched

754
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,240
and they need to meet secretly.

755
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:52,680
So they go and meet secretly.

756
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:57,560
And again, she just says there's a spot out by this thing

757
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,440
that we can meet privately where nobody will look.

758
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,080
Out at the point, Ed, go, go there.

759
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,320
Yeah. And he's like, I know where the point is.

760
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,520
So he knew where the boarding house was.

761
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,440
No, the movie is poorly written.

762
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:11,320
This is a good detective.

763
00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:14,760
No, the movie is poorly written.

764
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:19,480
But OK, let's start with OK, let's stop getting this noodly too.

765
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:20,920
So we can get to the good stuff.

766
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,040
So going back to my whole thing about that, how there are so many weird

767
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:28,760
red herrings in this film, there are twins of almost everybody.

768
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,280
Like they're just female twins.

769
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,320
Well, it's not necessarily.

770
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,360
I don't think it was supposed to be intended to be taken as like there's twins of everybody.

771
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:43,240
I think it's their way of showing that, like, inbreeding was a big thing

772
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:47,400
because they had a stable of males that they bred with.

773
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:52,200
So people that would have just looked like they were related because they're fucking related.

774
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,160
But they're all about the same age and walk in a creepy, shining type.

775
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,160
We're going to walk in unison mode.

776
00:37:59,160 --> 00:37:59,720
Well, sure.

777
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,320
I mean, you live on an island.

778
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:02,440
You got to have a hobby.

779
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,840
What about the the old lady twins, the blind ones?

780
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,720
OK, well, those ones were actually unsettling.

781
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,240
OK, not only are they twins, but they're old.

782
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,240
So fucking throw them in the sound.

783
00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:14,600
I don't I don't need any of that.

784
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:20,120
We've already given up the go that that Nick Cage is the sacrifice.

785
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:26,120
So the whole time he's on the island, he starts seeing the girl

786
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,080
and starts following around like he's in the first night he's in his room.

787
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,560
He looks out the window and he thinks he sees her

788
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,600
and like chases after her into a barn where he almost dies

789
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,440
because the floor gives out under him.

790
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,600
Is that the people on the island just fucking with them

791
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,840
because she is alive and she is in no danger?

792
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,760
Are they just like, yeah, this will be fun.

793
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:47,560
I did like the trap door gag because it's like, oh, he's in a barn.

794
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,240
Oh, you don't see anybody.

795
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,360
Don't see anybody.

796
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,200
How do we do a jump scare?

797
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,400
Take the floor away.

798
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,960
Yeah, like fucking dumb.

799
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:02,280
But he proceeds to just start harassing everyone on this island,

800
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,160
like throwing his badge around and like it matters.

801
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,520
Sister, be fucking California.

802
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,280
Sister Beach is the first one to point out like this is Washington.

803
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,600
Yeah, they like to remind him of that.

804
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:13,800
Yeah. And he doesn't care.

805
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,720
You are way out of jurisdiction.

806
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:23,000
And he goes to goes to the schoolhouse to find Willow and meet Sister Rose,

807
00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:28,440
who's teaching a class about and asks the class what men's position is.

808
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:34,280
And again, twins answer in unison, phallic symbol, phallic symbol.

809
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,560
Which hilarious.

810
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:36,360
Also not wrong.

811
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,000
All the art in the room is B centric.

812
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,080
Yeah, everything about the place is B centric.

813
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,680
You get bees on the.

814
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:47,880
We forgot to point out that he kills a bee at the at the end.

815
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,760
Oh, by the way, he's allergic to be because he's allergic to be.

816
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,520
Yeah. And he goes to a like a honey centric economy.

817
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,440
Yeah, honey. Yeah.

818
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,080
Honey pot.

819
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:03,160
So yeah, he's got and he's got like funny, like, you know,

820
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:10,040
ep B pens like funny, funny branded epi pens for if you get stung.

821
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:15,880
I'm assuming you didn't want to get sued by Martin's whatever his name is.

822
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,560
Oh, Martin Martin Screli.

823
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,920
Yeah. The farmer, bro.

824
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,080
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't he like, fuck that guy.

825
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:22,840
Big on the. Come at us, really.

826
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,040
Oh, yeah. But here's you.

827
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:28,520
Here's how you can tell the budget, budgetary difference of these two films,

828
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,120
because in Bertie, they had to film an actual at an actual landfill

829
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:33,640
in the Wicker Man.

830
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:39,240
The one shot of summer aisle you get is bad, like CG,

831
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,080
like Mist Era CG.

832
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,600
I love the water met in the middle.

833
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,880
Yeah, because it was bad.

834
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,600
Mist Era CG and like a lens flare.

835
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:54,760
OK, Sister Rose played by Molly Parker, who was on Deadwood.

836
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:55,800
I don't know if you guys watch that one.

837
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,200
Oh, he's good. She was great on that.

838
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:03,800
And she she plays like such a boring character who's so contentious for no reason.

839
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,760
You really got to narrow it down if you're going to say boring character.

840
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:11,640
And then immediately after meeting Sister Rose, he like is getting directions on the road

841
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:17,480
and he meets Sister Thorne, who is the twin for no reason for no reasons.

842
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,680
Like, didn't I just meet you at the school?

843
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:24,920
I was like, no. Oh, but Sister Rose is also the one who is the first one to admit that

844
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:25,880
the child exists.

845
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:27,880
Well, kind of.

846
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,400
She doesn't admit.

847
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:34,760
Eventually, after he like, you know, takes the school ledger.

848
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,040
Open up the fucking Rowan's desk.

849
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,720
The little girl's name is Rowan.

850
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,240
Open up Rowan's desk and there's a fucking crow in it.

851
00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:48,040
And then the other kids were like, oh, we put that there because we were wondering how long

852
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,160
it would sit in there.

853
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:53,560
It's like I've seen birds in boxes and stuff before.

854
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:54,360
They're not quiet.

855
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,240
They don't sit there.

856
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:57,560
Wait, we just watched a whole movie about him.

857
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,360
Yeah. Also, don't ask why I've seen a bird in a box.

858
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:07,080
So, you know, he finds the ledger of class, finds out that Rowan exists.

859
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,160
Yeah, she was a member of this class.

860
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,080
Calls all the students little liars.

861
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:16,440
Like even when he was showing photos of Rowan around earlier, people would just be like,

862
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:17,080
haven't seen her.

863
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,920
And he's like, you know, it's customary to look at a photo before you tell me if you

864
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:21,640
haven't seen her.

865
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:22,600
Yeah, that was great.

866
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,920
Sister Rose tells him there was an accident and, you know, they buried Rowan.

867
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:35,880
The like only actual clues in this film amongst all the other like, again, just so many red

868
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:42,280
herrings that add up to nothing because it's not even like they tied themselves up to make

869
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:43,000
it interesting.

870
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,400
They're just there to fuck with him.

871
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:48,280
And at which point he's already on the island.

872
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:53,240
He willingly came there to save the girl, but they keep playing with him because they

873
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:53,720
have to.

874
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,440
I think this is a meat tenderizing.

875
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,360
Make him a juicier sacrifice.

876
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,560
Yeah, yeah, like the more anguish he goes through.

877
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:02,040
Yeah.

878
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:02,680
Suffering.

879
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,560
Usually like you don't want an animal to suffer like that.

880
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,320
Yeah, the adrenaline spoils the meat.

881
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,520
You don't eat roadkill.

882
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:14,040
But I think in the Wicker Man situation, like the suffering is what gives you the good

883
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:14,600
honey.

884
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:19,880
OK, so they beat him up because the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

885
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:21,960
Yes.

886
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:22,360
Nice.

887
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,240
He eventually sees Rowan's room.

888
00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:29,800
And under her desk, she's carved all this whole they're coming to kill me stuff.

889
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,360
He's like to ask the mom's like, have you seen that?

890
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,160
That's troublesome.

891
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,120
And mom's just like, children.

892
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:40,520
But let's not also start talking like he's doing detective work.

893
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:41,160
No, he's not.

894
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,400
This guy is a terrible already.

895
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:48,360
So yeah, but you also talk about it like he's uncovering clues.

896
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,600
I mean, he is.

897
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,920
I mean, I think they're almost given to him.

898
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,320
Like, again, that's a bad cop.

899
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,720
They're like, OK, have you looked under the desk, though?

900
00:43:57,720 --> 00:44:00,040
And he's like, Oh, I haven't looked under the desk.

901
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,800
Oh, this is troubling.

902
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,640
Oh, no, that's just kids.

903
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,960
What they have to shovel.

904
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:06,520
Yeah, I know.

905
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,120
All evidence into his face.

906
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:08,920
So bad.

907
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,680
Oh, when he's when he's eating breakfast, there's a little store

908
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:15,880
bought honey bear.

909
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,040
He's like, don't don't you guys make honey?

910
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,840
And the girl's just like, I'm just fucking work here.

911
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:25,400
But she also goes on to say, like, our crop failed last year.

912
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,400
Like, we didn't have any honey because our honey was cursed.

913
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,680
That's when he sees the photos of all the girls from previous summer

914
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:36,440
festivals, because they just display that shit where people eat breakfast.

915
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:37,400
The previous year.

916
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,400
Like, look at these kids we've killed.

917
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,320
But enjoy your flapjacks.

918
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:45,960
The previous year's photo is missing because it got broken the night before.

919
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:46,600
Mysterious.

920
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:47,400
The glasses.

921
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,400
Yeah, the night before the glass broke.

922
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,280
Yeah, the night before the glass is just all on the floor.

923
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,840
It's like, yeah, this movie sucks so bad.

924
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:55,480
It does.

925
00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:01,080
So he finds out the doctor takes all is the only one with a camera on the island.

926
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,080
Apparently, photos grabs all the kids.

927
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:07,720
So he goes to the doctor and it's like, I hear you're the town photographer.

928
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:09,160
She's like, why do you want your photo taken?

929
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,040
And he wants, you know, it's like, oh, I'm looking for last year's photo.

930
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,240
It's like, oh, it's in the end.

931
00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:16,280
It's like, no, it's not.

932
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,000
It got broke.

933
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,120
And it's like, oh, well, I have the negative.

934
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,320
I'll get you a copy.

935
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,440
Also, why didn't he just be like, I can look at negatives.

936
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,560
Just bring me a foot.

937
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:24,760
I know how cameras work.

938
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,120
They're fucking inverted.

939
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,520
Because he wanted to snoop because he goes snooping.

940
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,080
Yeah.

941
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,800
But as he does, he does the Scooby Doo twinkle.

942
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:36,600
He's been pushing this.

943
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:41,880
I'm a cop narrative for so long, though, that it's like, why not just be like

944
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,720
fucking slam your badge against the desk again and be like, hey,

945
00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:47,480
let me just see the negative then.

946
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,080
Because it's a bad movie.

947
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,280
I OK.

948
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:51,960
I can't I can't get over this one.

949
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,600
She's like, pretty humdrum island here.

950
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,160
Close's book that says secrets of the ancients.

951
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:57,720
Oh, yeah.

952
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,920
Our terrible rituals.

953
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:04,360
They keep talking about like there's these two festivals, two festivals.

954
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,400
We talk about these.

955
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:09,560
There's the festival of life and death or like the harvest and death.

956
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,280
No, because the second is about rebirth, which is where they're all fucking.

957
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:12,920
That's the origin.

958
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:13,640
Oh, yeah.

959
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:19,880
Those blind twins are fucking getting down with weird boil boy.

960
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,080
OK, yeah.

961
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:21,720
All right.

962
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:23,160
Talk about the house.

963
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:24,520
Talk about boil boy.

964
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,000
Yeah.

965
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:30,600
So I'm getting the order of operations fucked up here, but they don't matter.

966
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:31,560
Yeah, he goes.

967
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,800
He eventually wants to call the mainland again, so he tries to go get the go to the pilot

968
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:41,800
and the plane is out there and he's calling to it and the pilots are responding.

969
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,800
So he's like, I'm just going to wait.

970
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,240
And he's sitting there and while he's on the dock, he looks down and sees Rowan

971
00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:48,440
under the dock because he.

972
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,240
Right, because the dock has windows in the floor.

973
00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:54,200
He was told she was a great swimmer or she liked to swim.

974
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:58,840
So he looks down, sees her, goes to the end of the pier, jumps off to swim back under

975
00:46:58,840 --> 00:46:59,160
it.

976
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:06,440
Well, he he does what any good cop would do in this moment, removes his gun badge ID

977
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,760
and like places it all in a pile, too.

978
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:09,240
Yeah.

979
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:14,920
But goes finds her like finds her body and is like holding it underwater and shaking

980
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,840
her and then wakes up on the dock from his from his dream.

981
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:19,000
Yeah.

982
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:24,200
And looks down and then her body is in his hands and he wakes up again.

983
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,400
Oh, double dream scare.

984
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:29,720
And what I wanted from the scene, what I was hoping for and praying for was he looks

985
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:33,080
down, is shocked at the body and then semi truck runs the boat over.

986
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:36,760
Ah, jump ahead a little bit to grave digging.

987
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:42,200
Well, before we get to grave digging, we have to get to him walking through the bee area,

988
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,120
the bee, the way they harvest it.

989
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:48,680
We don't know, but we do, because for someone who is deathly allergic to bees, he's just

990
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,800
walking by all these bees, not paying attention to when he's rolling his bike, when he rolls

991
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:52,920
it right into a hive.

992
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,680
Also talk about that bike.

993
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,040
That bike was great.

994
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,360
I mean, it was a fixie for sure.

995
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:03,560
It would have only been better if he had rolled up onto somebody's porch, grabbed the bike

996
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:06,840
and just growled at them and then rode away on it.

997
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:07,880
Episode three.

998
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:12,120
But yeah, so so he wakes up in summer isles house.

999
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:18,600
The doctor has summer's aisle, summer's aisle house, summer's aisles, summer's aisles,

1000
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,480
summer aisle with an apostrophe at the end, but no less.

1001
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:23,080
I've always hated that.

1002
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,160
The English language is garbage.

1003
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:29,160
And the first thing he does when he gets making up rules as we go, kind of like this podcast.

1004
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:30,680
There are no rules.

1005
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,360
First thing he does when he gets out of bed after being told that they didn't use his

1006
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:39,320
EpiPen, but they use the old ways is make sure all the bullets are still in his gun.

1007
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:40,760
That'll come into play later.

1008
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,400
And he meets summer isles for the first time.

1009
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:44,360
A dumb dumb.

1010
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:49,480
Yeah, he meets summer isles for the first time when he first thing he asks is for permission

1011
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:55,480
to dig the grit, dig up the grave and is immediately given permission to do so and then proceeds

1012
00:48:55,480 --> 00:49:01,480
to just be shitty to an old woman who is, you know, questionable in her own right.

1013
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,480
Admittedly, the old deserving.

1014
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:08,920
So that he's he's getting like shittier and shittier with summer, summer aisle and, you

1015
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:10,120
know, summer's out.

1016
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:10,920
God damn it.

1017
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:12,520
I hate both of you.

1018
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,960
Men are for procreation and we won't be subjugated by men.

1019
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:16,760
All right, fine.

1020
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,440
You're, you know, a weird cult.

1021
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:19,960
Don't care.

1022
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,520
So let's hit the beats from here out.

1023
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:23,080
Right.

1024
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:25,480
Like he goes to exhume the body.

1025
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:25,880
Hold on.

1026
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:31,880
I want to point out that he gets permission to exhume said body broad daylight.

1027
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:37,240
He waits until fucking nighttime to actually dig that shit up when it's all spooky and

1028
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:39,240
that's brave time.

1029
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:43,560
That's that's that's you can't you can't you know, you got to do if you if you look

1030
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:47,720
like a Nicolas Cage, if no one's going to question some night digging, you night dig.

1031
00:49:47,720 --> 00:49:51,080
Well, let's talk about that night digging because he's wearing a full suit and tie.

1032
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:51,640
Yeah, yeah.

1033
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,200
He's always wearing a full suit and tie.

1034
00:49:54,200 --> 00:50:00,200
So he's doing some night digging, digs up Rowan's coffin and inside is a doll with a

1035
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,400
burned face.

1036
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,200
But how did it get burned?

1037
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,240
This question will never be answered.

1038
00:50:07,240 --> 00:50:10,280
It's again, it's just the island.

1039
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,280
It's just the people fucking with him.

1040
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:12,840
Yeah.

1041
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:17,400
So from here he goes and he fucks with a bunch of children wearing masks.

1042
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:21,320
Well, yes, because he's just like fucking with the people.

1043
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:21,800
Fuck it.

1044
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,400
I'm going to find what I need.

1045
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:30,440
And he just starts going like house to house kicking indoors, demanding to see the children.

1046
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,080
But everybody's getting ready for the festival.

1047
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,480
So they're all wearing like woodland creature masks.

1048
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:35,720
Yeah.

1049
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:36,840
Animal masks.

1050
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,920
He steals another bike from Sister Rose.

1051
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,320
He's got a crow get up going.

1052
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:43,640
Sister Thorn now totally gone.

1053
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:44,120
Yeah.

1054
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,480
Pulls pulls a gun on Sister Rose to get the bike.

1055
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:47,720
Yeah.

1056
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,920
Gets to go to the beach, finds the pilot.

1057
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,040
Finally, because when he gets back to the beach, the plane has been sunk

1058
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:59,240
and he finds the pilot who's been murdered missing an arm and has like some.

1059
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:01,160
He has a wicker bits shoved in.

1060
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,120
Wicker bits shoved into this flesh.

1061
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:09,320
Kind of like, you know, a wicker man of sorts, which is a word we haven't heard at all in this film yet.

1062
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:16,600
He goes back to the house and Sister Beach is talking with one of the old biddy he met

1063
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,520
when he first got there and how the old biddy had dealt with the pilot.

1064
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:25,560
The old biddy excuses like, I'm going to let myself get ready and leaves.

1065
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,160
Sister Beach opens her smart mouth without saying a word.

1066
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,360
Nicholas Cage just fucking socks are in the face.

1067
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:37,160
She just goes down like a sack of potatoes because they were talking about Sister Beach's

1068
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,520
bear costume for the celebration for the festival.

1069
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:41,080
Right.

1070
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:41,880
And the cage starts.

1071
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,240
The ladies were talking about it pre Nicholas Cage intervention.

1072
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:49,240
Nick Cage starts looking at the bear costume like this will be a good disguise.

1073
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:54,600
And Sister Honey comes out of nowhere screaming and like jumps on his back.

1074
00:51:54,600 --> 00:52:00,280
They they tangle for a bit and then karate kicks her in the face into the wall of photos.

1075
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:05,000
At this point, the festival is in full swing, which again, I'm going to remind you,

1076
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,640
he is going to be the key component of yet.

1077
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,720
People are trying to stop him at this point.

1078
00:52:09,720 --> 00:52:11,080
The mystery is bad.

1079
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,640
The black or the berry tenderize meat, baby.

1080
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:19,560
Yeah. So yeah, he gets he gets bared up and he goes to the festival willows there.

1081
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,800
And he said, you know, I thought I told you stay home.

1082
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,320
She's like, I can't. It's the festival.

1083
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:31,560
Summer's Isle is painted up like the weird space racists from that episode of Star Trek

1084
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:36,040
where you're black and white on one side or white and black opposite.

1085
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,360
And they ate each other with racism.

1086
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:42,600
Then she's doing her little like, whoo hippie dance through the fields.

1087
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:42,840
Yeah.

1088
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:47,640
Leading leading the townsfolk to where there is Rowan

1089
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,000
about to be burned at the stake.

1090
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:52,680
And finally.

1091
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,680
And yeah, we finally get there.

1092
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:59,720
That's when, you know, Nick Cage bears out and runs up, grabs the girl, grabs the girl and run.

1093
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:01,320
But Rowan runs off.

1094
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,840
He chases Rowan and she runs into a field where everyone's waiting for them.

1095
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:08,920
And Rowan runs up to Willow and goes, did I do good, mommy?

1096
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:13,160
And that's when like the pin drops and it was all a setup.

1097
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:16,920
And this is where Summer's Isle is like, you have an appointment with a Wicker Man.

1098
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:21,960
Yeah, this is where we pieced it all together because before this we were just along for the ride.

1099
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:22,840
We didn't understand.

1100
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:23,800
Very puzzling.

1101
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,640
Yeah, it was a mystery.

1102
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:27,000
And the whole premises they needed.

1103
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:34,520
Well, galleons nights to come up with his own accord to save a child, which he did come up with his own accord.

1104
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:41,000
They do also talk about how the the blood bond makes it stronger and better.

1105
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,800
So, yeah. Well, because he's Rowan's father.

1106
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:44,040
Yeah.

1107
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,840
Which OK, yeah, that's like a big reveal.

1108
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,720
And then all of a sudden he's just like, my baby, my child.

1109
00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:52,200
Oh, I know he's fucking hammers that one down.

1110
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:56,520
It's like, how did you not expect that to be your fucking kid from the beginning?

1111
00:53:57,240 --> 00:53:58,680
He gets he pulls out his gun.

1112
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,520
He's like, starts yelling people to back off because they start advancing upon him.

1113
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:03,880
Oh, he kicks a couple more people.

1114
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:04,520
Kicks a couple more.

1115
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:05,080
Yeah, he does.

1116
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:10,040
And then, you know, eventually showing off that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

1117
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:14,840
You know, when they all start actually advancing upon me, like pulls the trigger and nothing happens.

1118
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,280
Like he was going to shoot Rowan, right?

1119
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:16,760
Not Rowan.

1120
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:17,240
I'm Willow.

1121
00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:19,720
Well, he's just going to shoot some bitches.

1122
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:22,840
Yeah, he's going to start just popping off like a good cop.

1123
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:28,440
I do like Sister Beach does show up and she does have like she just has a slight bruise.

1124
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:32,280
And then, you know, it cuts to black and you just start hearing bones breaking and him

1125
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:33,800
screaming about his legs.

1126
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:39,880
Yeah, which in the unrated version is where you would see the torture scene where the bees.

1127
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:44,440
It's actually fucking gnarly the way they break his knees.

1128
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:51,160
So this movie, they were afraid of actually getting an NC 17 rating because of the violence in it.

1129
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:52,520
And they dialed it back.

1130
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:58,680
And actually, weirdly, how they ended up doing it was they just took out the video and left the audio.

1131
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:02,520
And then they just pour a bunch of bees and a fucking swimmer's helmet.

1132
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:04,280
So they can wear it.

1133
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,840
Yeah. So then they take him to the wicker.

1134
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,280
We see the Wicker Man.

1135
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,920
They string him up, pull him up there.

1136
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:15,080
There's a bunch of goats, pigs, chickens that are going to be sacrificed with him.

1137
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:20,760
And then so he gets hoisted up to the head and Rowan lights the sacrificial pyre.

1138
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:23,320
He's like, No, baby, don't do it.

1139
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,440
Don't do it to daddy.

1140
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,640
Don't don't burn me.

1141
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:26,280
There's no.

1142
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,080
We have a well established relationship.

1143
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,200
Yeah. I mean, that is kind of the flavor they're going for.

1144
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,200
And yeah, they burn the Wicker Man.

1145
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,120
And then we cut to what, 10 months later.

1146
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:43,400
So this scene actually is only in the unrated version.

1147
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:44,200
Interesting.

1148
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:47,240
The are sorry, only in the rated version.

1149
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:50,120
The theatrical version in the unrated version.

1150
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,200
You don't get this like post scene.

1151
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,080
So there's this weird like, yeah, if I read this, I'm like,

1152
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:56,360
what did they do instead?

1153
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:57,480
Just he burned.

1154
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:58,520
That's just the end of the movie.

1155
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,840
Which is the proper end of the film.

1156
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,360
Not even like some bees.

1157
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:07,000
No, there's no James Franco in the originally scripted film.

1158
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:07,400
Yeah.

1159
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,480
The most problematic part about this James Franco.

1160
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:10,040
Yeah.

1161
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,480
And Jason Ritter, James Franco and Jason Ritter just graduated

1162
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:20,040
the police academy there at a bar and they find they see Sister Rose and Sister Honey

1163
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:20,920
across the bar.

1164
00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:22,760
They sit down for a drink.

1165
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,320
They sit down for a drink.

1166
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:26,440
Rose takes.

1167
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:27,640
That's Willow.

1168
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:28,040
Willow.

1169
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:34,280
Yeah, no, Willow takes Ritter off to get them drinks and Honey's like,

1170
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:36,040
can I go home with you?

1171
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:37,880
And it starts again.

1172
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:40,920
The Wicker Man.

1173
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:41,960
The Wicker Man.

1174
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,960
Then more papyrus happens and then the movie ends.

1175
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:49,640
All right, let's do quotes because I mean, this movie is fucking absurd.

1176
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:50,140
Yeah.

1177
00:56:50,140 --> 00:56:52,780
I don't really have a quote on this one.

1178
00:56:52,780 --> 00:56:56,700
I have a scene that I really enjoyed the best.

1179
00:56:56,700 --> 00:56:57,900
I mean, we touched on it.

1180
00:56:57,900 --> 00:57:05,900
It's when Nicholas Cage goes in near the end and takes the suit from Sister Beach

1181
00:57:06,460 --> 00:57:10,300
because it's not so much like this scene just fluidly happens.

1182
00:57:10,300 --> 00:57:14,860
He doesn't like come up and like look and then they're standing next to each other

1183
00:57:14,860 --> 00:57:15,980
and he decks her.

1184
00:57:15,980 --> 00:57:22,860
It's like he comes in, then there's like 10 seconds of him walking across the room

1185
00:57:23,420 --> 00:57:30,700
and just cold cocking her like there's this step, step, step, wham, and she's out.

1186
00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:35,660
And then like Honey comes in and fucking karate kicks her into the wall.

1187
00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:42,700
And then he just goes on this rampage of just beating the shit out of the women on this island.

1188
00:57:42,700 --> 00:57:48,620
And I don't endorse beating women, but when they're psychopaths

1189
00:57:48,620 --> 00:57:50,540
who are trying to burn you alive.

1190
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,460
Oh, you're a Connery defense.

1191
00:57:52,460 --> 00:57:55,020
Yeah, you get one free punch per woman.

1192
00:57:55,660 --> 00:57:57,020
That's the rule.

1193
00:57:57,020 --> 00:57:58,540
One per woman.

1194
00:57:58,540 --> 00:57:59,500
Don't edit this out.

1195
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:00,620
This is not going in.

1196
00:58:01,900 --> 00:58:03,500
This is my favorite part of the movie.

1197
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:04,460
You got to put it in.

1198
00:58:05,260 --> 00:58:06,140
Look, I'm not.

1199
00:58:06,140 --> 00:58:10,460
OK, I mean, my favorite part is also somebody getting punched in the face.

1200
00:58:10,460 --> 00:58:14,540
And it's when he's in the costume, he's in the bear costume, runs up to his daughter,

1201
00:58:14,540 --> 00:58:15,420
Hootie Punch.

1202
00:58:15,420 --> 00:58:16,140
Was it a woman?

1203
00:58:17,820 --> 00:58:19,180
OK, now you have to keep it in.

1204
00:58:19,180 --> 00:58:21,100
Yeah, you can't not keep this.

1205
00:58:21,100 --> 00:58:25,100
So he runs up to her and he's like, don't be frightened.

1206
00:58:25,100 --> 00:58:25,900
I'm here to help.

1207
00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:33,820
An entire stranger in a bear costume, cold cocking a woman in front of you.

1208
00:58:33,820 --> 00:58:35,660
And it's being like, I love you.

1209
00:58:35,660 --> 00:58:39,820
Yeah, to be fair, he thought she was going to be burned at the stake.

1210
00:58:39,820 --> 00:58:40,220
Yeah.

1211
00:58:40,220 --> 00:58:45,260
Oh, OK, I do have a quote when he is looking for Rowan and like kicking in doors.

1212
00:58:45,260 --> 00:58:49,420
And it's the first house he goes to where he starts like demanding to see the children's faces

1213
00:58:49,420 --> 00:58:52,940
and the mothers like, do you have permission to do this?

1214
00:58:52,940 --> 00:58:54,300
And he just turns and screams at her.

1215
00:58:54,300 --> 00:58:58,220
You have my permission to stay the fuck out of the room to stay out of the fucking way.

1216
00:58:58,220 --> 00:59:04,700
Oh, so what I gather is all of our favorite moments happened within moments of each other.

1217
00:59:04,700 --> 00:59:09,500
That's like, oh, no, I mean, this movie is wacky and I'm here for it.

1218
00:59:10,220 --> 00:59:11,660
You know what? I'm going to take Nick Cage up his word.

1219
00:59:11,660 --> 00:59:17,580
He is proud of the acting he did in this film and he was mad that it wasn't advertised as a black comedy.

1220
00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:18,700
Yeah, I mean, that's fair.

1221
00:59:18,700 --> 00:59:20,540
I'm going to take a word on it because it's funny as fuck.

1222
00:59:20,540 --> 00:59:23,020
And I had an amazing time watching it twice.

1223
00:59:23,740 --> 00:59:26,140
So, yeah, I mean, let's get down to it then.

1224
00:59:26,140 --> 00:59:28,700
I'm going to make my case that this is a more cagey film.

1225
00:59:28,700 --> 00:59:29,740
There's more screaming.

1226
00:59:29,740 --> 00:59:31,340
There's more caging out.

1227
00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:34,220
One is one is a better film.

1228
00:59:34,220 --> 00:59:35,420
Yeah, I know.

1229
00:59:35,420 --> 00:59:37,420
We've had this exact argument before.

1230
00:59:37,420 --> 00:59:38,060
I know.

1231
00:59:38,060 --> 00:59:39,820
I think the tables are just flipped.

1232
00:59:39,820 --> 00:59:40,460
Yes.

1233
00:59:40,460 --> 00:59:48,300
The Wicker Man is so funny and so dumb and I I have so much fond memories laughing at it.

1234
00:59:48,300 --> 00:59:55,900
I think I would be more inclined to agree if we had watched this before Left Behind.

1235
00:59:55,900 --> 01:00:02,620
But at this point, the fucking floor is out like the basement is out.

1236
01:00:02,620 --> 01:00:06,140
There's no I've seen bad movies now.

1237
01:00:06,140 --> 01:00:09,260
Yeah, I've seen real bad movies and this isn't as bad.

1238
01:00:09,260 --> 01:00:09,740
It's not.

1239
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:10,220
Left behind.

1240
01:00:10,220 --> 01:00:12,300
It's not even a quarter as bad.

1241
01:00:12,300 --> 01:00:13,500
It's less behind.

1242
01:00:14,140 --> 01:00:16,860
It is funny and I do enjoy watching it.

1243
01:00:16,860 --> 01:00:18,540
I would enjoy watching it again.

1244
01:00:18,540 --> 01:00:19,660
I could watch it right now.

1245
01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:24,140
Birdie is a birdie is a special time movie birdies.

1246
01:00:24,140 --> 01:00:27,420
Yeah, birdies a movie you watch with your art house friends.

1247
01:00:27,420 --> 01:00:29,500
It's a lot of it's a good one to watch.

1248
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,580
It's not fun.

1249
01:00:31,580 --> 01:00:36,060
No, I don't know that Wicker Man's a fun movie.

1250
01:00:37,340 --> 01:00:41,740
I mean, maybe when we watch it next, we'll just be drunk, but it's going to be the next one.

1251
01:00:41,740 --> 01:00:43,100
I think we have a winner.

1252
01:00:43,100 --> 01:00:43,980
This movie slaps.

1253
01:00:43,980 --> 01:00:44,700
It wins 100%.

1254
01:00:45,340 --> 01:00:45,740
I don't know.

1255
01:00:46,300 --> 01:00:47,100
Tiebreaker.

1256
01:00:47,100 --> 01:00:50,220
My endorsement is not nearly as strong as Peter's.

1257
01:00:50,220 --> 01:00:50,780
Sorry, Nick.

1258
01:00:50,780 --> 01:00:52,380
I think you're right, actually.

1259
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:56,700
But in terms of watchability, like, no, it's the same we made.

1260
01:00:57,900 --> 01:00:59,980
Not that we have to stick to our own rules.

1261
01:00:59,980 --> 01:01:02,380
No, the rules are made up and they don't matter.

1262
01:01:02,380 --> 01:01:09,020
I'd rather watch Wicker Man against another movie and see how it airs out.

1263
01:01:10,540 --> 01:01:11,740
What's up next, Peter?

1264
01:01:11,740 --> 01:01:15,180
Oh, it's a ghostwriter and dog eats dog.

1265
01:01:15,180 --> 01:01:15,900
Dog eat dog.

1266
01:01:15,900 --> 01:01:16,300
Yeah.

1267
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:21,660
So we get some weird mustache Willem Dafoe and ghostwriter.

1268
01:01:21,660 --> 01:01:24,220
Which is a very spiritual movie, according to Nicholas Cain.

1269
01:01:24,220 --> 01:01:25,260
Any last thoughts?

1270
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:27,740
Or are we good?

1271
01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:32,140
Don't punch women unless they want to burn you alive.

1272
01:01:33,180 --> 01:01:34,140
Then punch women.

1273
01:01:34,940 --> 01:01:35,740
But you only get one.

1274
01:01:36,300 --> 01:01:37,260
Only one punch.

1275
01:01:40,540 --> 01:01:42,140
I'm sure I'm sure Sean feels the same way.

1276
01:01:42,140 --> 01:01:43,420
Fuck seafair.

1277
01:01:43,420 --> 01:01:43,920
Yeah.

1278
01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:46,940
Bunch of mouth breathers gopping at the air.

1279
01:01:49,180 --> 01:01:51,020
I love seafair.

1280
01:01:51,020 --> 01:01:51,820
We found our post.

1281
01:01:59,340 --> 01:01:59,980
All right, hang on.

1282
01:02:00,540 --> 01:02:01,020
Sorry.

1283
01:02:01,020 --> 01:02:01,500
You cannot.

1284
01:02:02,220 --> 01:02:04,620
Do you remember the chocolate rain guy?

1285
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:08,460
And he explained, you know what I'm talking about.

1286
01:02:08,460 --> 01:02:13,580
He explains how, like, to make sure you don't get, like, breathing noises on mic, he goes, like, off.

1287
01:02:13,580 --> 01:02:14,080
Yes.

1288
01:02:14,620 --> 01:02:16,620
Turn my head away to breathe.

1289
01:02:16,620 --> 01:02:17,340
And then sing.

1290
01:02:17,340 --> 01:02:18,060
Whatever these words are.

1291
01:02:18,060 --> 01:02:21,580
It's like sing, drink your fucking drink off mic.

1292
01:02:21,580 --> 01:02:22,300
I'm trying.

1293
01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:24,380
Just because you turn away over the mic doesn't mean you.

1294
01:02:25,100 --> 01:02:25,660
Yeah.

1295
01:02:25,660 --> 01:02:26,460
Move it away.

1296
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:28,620
Here's your volume levels.

1297
01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:30,300
I'm just going to go over here.

1298
01:02:32,940 --> 01:02:33,580
OK.

1299
01:02:33,580 --> 01:02:38,140
If you want to take a drink, look at me in the eyes and make a drinking motion with your hands.

1300
01:02:38,140 --> 01:02:38,620
OK.

1301
01:02:38,620 --> 01:02:48,620
I will turn your mic off.