1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,640 Oh, God. Oh, my God. 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,960 I got who's going to who's going to take their shirt off first? 3 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:20,460 Oh, my money's on Nick, because I'm the fat one. 4 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,720 I mean, I'm I'm I'm a speaking of insulation. 5 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:27,300 I'm a I'm a beefy boy. 6 00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:32,340 I'm just more compact, beefy, packed beef. 7 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,140 Mm hmm. Please don't start on that line. 8 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,480 It's going to be hard not to. Yeah. 9 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,940 So is this where we say welcome back? 10 00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:44,240 Welcome. It's your first time. 11 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,400 Yeah, Dick move. 12 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,640 There's only two episodes and you go to the second one and you don't even listen 13 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,780 to the first. Yeah, it's not like there's a long list that you have to get through. 14 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,940 No, we're not asking a lot. 15 00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:59,560 Now, anyway, welcome back to Cage Match, Colin, a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage, 16 00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:05,240 the podcast where every episode we take two 17 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:09,840 films of America's finest, most hardworking actor 18 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,840 and pit them against each other. 19 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:18,040 And we will decide ultimately what the best Nick Cage film ever is. 20 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,820 Yeah, definitively definitively. 21 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:22,220 There's going to be no question about it. 22 00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:27,020 No. Oh, hi. I'm Sean with my cohost Nick. 23 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,060 I'm Nick and our producer Peter. Hi. 24 00:01:30,980 --> 00:01:35,340 So this week we are discussing two fine films, 25 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:40,460 but you're in for a treat because you get an extra cage for the price of two. 26 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:44,820 We're doing adaptation and Army of One. 27 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,860 So do you want to give us the first movie? 28 00:01:47,860 --> 00:01:50,020 Well, like, you want to. Sure. We can jump right in. 29 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,860 And adaptation. Yeah, let's just bang this out. 30 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:55,500 All right. So I don't think it should take us that long to talk about this. 31 00:01:55,500 --> 00:02:00,860 Yeah. Adaptation is a 2002 film starring Nick Cage 32 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:06,340 and Nick Cage. Nick Cage plays a fictionalized version 33 00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:09,860 of real life screenwriter Charlie Kaufman 34 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:15,500 and then fictional fictional twin brother Donald Kaufman. 35 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:19,460 Charlie Kaufman write off the heels of writing. 36 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:23,740 Being John Malkovich has to adapt a film about. 37 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:27,220 Orchid, the Orchid Thief is the name of the book. 38 00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,580 It's a book by Susan Orlean. 39 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:32,900 It's about another real life person. Yeah. 40 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:38,100 Fictionalized in this, which I got to say, that's the most wild shit about this. 41 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:41,740 Like, did Susan Orlean and John LaRouche actually 42 00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:44,420 buy off on this or just like give away? 43 00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:47,740 We will get we will get into this. I have I have notes. 44 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,300 So Meryl Streep plays Susan Orlean. 45 00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:53,940 Charlie Kaufman trying to write this screenplay. 46 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,820 Can't write the screenplay. 47 00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:58,180 Everything's going to shit. He's circling the drain. 48 00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,700 Can't get a girlfriend. 49 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,580 Can't even sack up to meet Susan Orlean to get any idea of what he is. 50 00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:10,620 Supposed to be writing all the while his layabout twin brother 51 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:16,580 is taking a screenwriting course and writing the worst, best action film ever. 52 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:21,420 And just immediate success sells it, gets a girlfriend, 53 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:25,260 has all this unearned confidence that just gets him through life. 54 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:29,580 So Charlie asks his brother to help out on the screenplay 55 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:35,700 and they wind up stalking his prey like to get a better idea for this film. 56 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,580 They start watching Susan Orlean 57 00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:41,220 follow her down to where was it? 58 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:45,780 Florida, Tallahassee, something Louisiana, somewhere swampy. 59 00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:48,060 It felt panhandling. I think it's Florida. 60 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:51,620 Florida sounds right to find out that she's mixed up with. 61 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,300 Yes, because it's the Seminole tribe. 62 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,460 Boom. Yeah. Florida State or whatever. 63 00:03:56,460 --> 00:04:00,020 And she's mixed up with growing these orchids. 64 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,460 This is a sports radio podcast now. Sorry. 65 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:06,980 Growing these orchids for drug purposes 66 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:11,020 and having an affair with John LaRouche played by Chris Cooper, 67 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:13,340 who is a character. 68 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,340 He's certainly something there. 69 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:18,460 We'll get into more detail as we kind of discuss the film. 70 00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:21,060 Yeah. Do we want to just do that now? Yeah. 71 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,820 I mean, we're done recapping. That seems like the perfect time. 72 00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,820 Yeah, that's probably probably good. That's Nick. 73 00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:27,620 Oh, man. 74 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:33,580 This was a tough one for me because it was literally like just watching 75 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:37,980 Cotton Mouth. It was just hanging out with him, 76 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:44,340 a friend of ours who's super kind of in his head for like two hours. 77 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,580 Yeah. I mean, literally, you are listening to his inner. 78 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,580 Yeah. Inner thoughts. 79 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,180 But it was a really well written movie. 80 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:55,020 It's a really well structured movie. 81 00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:58,620 I understand why it's such a highly regarded movie, 82 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,460 and I liked watching it. 83 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:03,980 It's just stressful to me. I get that. 84 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,780 I mean, he is not a. 85 00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,980 Relatable protagonist. 86 00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:13,380 Other than right now, how sweaty he is at the beginning. 87 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,380 Oh, my God, he's very relatable. 88 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,580 It is warm in Seattle today. 89 00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:21,180 I mean, I personally loved this film. 90 00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:25,780 I haven't seen it since like 2004, but it's so good. 91 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:28,180 It has so much fun stuff and just. 92 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:33,620 You get a lot of like cage on cage action with him acting against himself 93 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:35,780 and also just masturbating a lot. 94 00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:39,180 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that that happens. 95 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:43,780 But just watching him spiral and trying to write this book 96 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,780 that has no central right. 97 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:49,980 Write a screenplay about a book that has no central plot and circling 98 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,180 the drain, trying to figure out what it's about. 99 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:54,580 Yeah, there's no action, no drama. 100 00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:58,180 It's just about looking for a flower. 101 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,180 Somebody get shot. 102 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:05,780 No, like, I mean, in the in the movie that he's trying to write a screenplay. 103 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,580 Yes, there's none of that. Yeah. 104 00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:11,380 No, there's no action, but we find out there's plenty of action behind the scenes 105 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:17,780 as Susan Orlean is having an affair, getting down with. 106 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:22,580 I mean, I think the real star character here is John LaRouche, just like the 107 00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:28,380 star character here is John LaRouche, just walked out crazy guy missing. 108 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:31,180 He's missing his front teeth. 109 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:35,380 Obsessed with whatever strikes his current fancy. 110 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:39,980 At the beginning of the movie, it's orchids halfway through its online 111 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:43,180 pornography and the making of online pornography. 112 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:47,180 Mm hmm. I don't forget the most important one. 113 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,580 Dutch mirrors. 114 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:53,580 Oh, I did forget about that. 115 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,780 This is supposedly a comedy. 116 00:06:56,780 --> 00:07:01,180 Yeah, I kind of think that we got this miss categorized. 117 00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:05,980 It should have been better suited in the fucking weird area. 118 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,780 I think it's sold as a comedy. 119 00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:10,580 I mean, it definitely is sold as a comedy. 120 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,280 That's how it's listed. It's sort of a dark comedy. 121 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,380 You know, Wikipedia classifies it as such. 122 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:18,180 IMDb classifies it as such. 123 00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:20,380 Did I laugh? 124 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:22,480 I have a couple. 125 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,780 I had one particular one. 126 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,580 When Donald gets launched out of the car. 127 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,380 Yeah, it's a it's a good scene. 128 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:41,080 Just at first, very ragdoll style. 129 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:46,180 Any specific scenes speak to you on this film, Nick? 130 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:49,080 It's a hard one because it's not really told in a good 131 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,680 and a very linear fashion either. 132 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,980 It cuts around a lot like favorite scenes. 133 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:58,480 I don't know if I have like a scene that really kind of struck me. 134 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,780 I enjoyed the cleverness of La Roche 135 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:05,980 when they were talking with that sheriff in the beginning. 136 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:06,580 Oh, yeah. 137 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,980 And, you know, it was kind of funny, but it's kind of one of those 138 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:15,180 where it's like, oh, ha ha, this guy, he knows his way around this issue 139 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:20,180 and he's going to talk around the cops and everything's going to be hunky dory. 140 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:22,280 And it's like, oh, OK, that's what you get. 141 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,280 See, that was the weird one for me. 142 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:28,980 So watching Charlie made you think of our buddy Cottonmouth. 143 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,280 But La Roche just made me think of my friend who got really into meth. 144 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,480 Oh, yeah. Just that very, you know, I know a lot about everything 145 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,180 and can talk my way out of any problem. 146 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:43,280 But meth, apparently, he wears a fedora now, I didn't told. 147 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:47,080 Boy, I didn't think you could get lower than meth. 148 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:52,380 But fedora, those are two things I generally don't put associate with each other. 149 00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,980 Imagine how fast he can skank. 150 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,380 That one got me. 151 00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:03,380 If only adaptation had writing like that. 152 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,580 I think we do need to talk, though, about like Nick Cage with Nick Cage. 153 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:11,380 Oh, I do want to say, speaking of writing, 154 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:15,480 it's it's funny that this movie adaptation 155 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:19,380 has Donald Kaufman listed as a co-author. 156 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,680 So it's written by Charlie and Donald Kaufman. 157 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,380 This movie is meta as far. 158 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:29,580 Yeah. For the Academy Awards, it was both Charlie and Donald that were nominated. 159 00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:32,880 Fake twin brother Donald. Yeah. 160 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:37,440 But like, just let's talk about the fact that, yeah, Nick Cage is acting 161 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,420 against Nick Cage for large chunks of this film. 162 00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:43,120 Yeah. And it works really well. 163 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,620 And those are the best parts. 164 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,880 And those are those parts are pretty funny. 165 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,020 Watching Donald try and like write this. 166 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:56,220 The premise of Donald's movie that he's writing is it is a crime thriller 167 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:02,080 where a kidnapper kidnaps a woman and the detective is trying to find her. 168 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,220 But they're all the same person. 169 00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,920 Yeah, that's the twist at the end. 170 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,020 There's a great I don't remember the full quote, 171 00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,720 and it's not my favorite quote of this film. 172 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,920 But there's a great quote about when Charlie's like, How would you even film that? 173 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,020 And Donald's just like, can camera angles. 174 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,520 All right, because it's a she's locked herself in the basement or something. 175 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:28,180 Yes. No, but there's so much good just back and forth there. 176 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,560 And when they're in the swamp, like running for their lives, 177 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,620 they have a really great moments together. 178 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:37,580 And you find out that Charlie's never been happy 179 00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,620 because he's never done anything. 180 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:43,620 And Donald is just happy in the fact that the brief moments of happiness 181 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:47,460 he's had, even if they've been taken away, were still his. 182 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:50,180 So he could live with that. 183 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:55,060 Yeah, he has a nice moment where he talks about like liking somebody. 184 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,920 But, you know, he's not worried about if they don't like him back 185 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,720 because that's their deal. 186 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,860 Not his. Yeah. 187 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,760 I was like, oh, that's a sweet sentiment. 188 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,260 I mean, kind of. 189 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:08,780 I mean, I get it in a soft headed sort of way. 190 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:10,660 I can say soft headed. 191 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,480 I'm pretty sure we can say soft headed. 192 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,260 It doesn't really mean anything. I'll look it up. 193 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,420 Yeah. Google it. 194 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:19,920 Oh, I'm trying to think who any other noticeable notable people. 195 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:25,120 Well, speaking of just like the Nicholas Cage, Nicholas Cage 196 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:30,460 back and forth the first time we meet Donald, I really enjoyed that scene. 197 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,460 He's just like laying on the ground. 198 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,100 And Charlie's just having a hard day. 199 00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:39,300 And Donald's like, oh, I want to talk to you about this thing. 200 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,920 I figured out what I'm going to do. 201 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,900 But I have to lay down my back. 202 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:47,900 He's just laying on the floor trying to do this scene with himself. 203 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:50,260 And it's just great. I did enjoy that. 204 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:57,000 Well, I think my laughs came less from the dialogue and more situationally. 205 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:03,680 Yeah. What did you guys think of the writers workshop? 206 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,600 Oh, God, what's the name of the what was the name of the guy? 207 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,640 Oh, the author, the McKee or something like that. 208 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,080 Brian Cox is the Robert McKee, who is apparently a real person as well. 209 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,140 We can get into that later. 210 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:17,900 I thought that was great. 211 00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:20,100 The whole like fuck voiceovers. 212 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,840 Yeah, this movie ends on a voiceover and then is well, 213 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,200 calls back to McKee saying fuck voiceovers. 214 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:30,400 McKee's going off and saying like, oh, don't don't use a voiceover. 215 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,280 Don't use a deus ex machina. 216 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,100 Like, don't when Charlie's trying to work on this script, 217 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,400 he goes through a whole list of shit. 218 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,700 Not to include in this because he wanted to avoid all the Hollywood tropes. 219 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:47,200 So he's like, don't make it a heist movie. 220 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:54,000 Don't include drug running, sex, guns, car chases, profound life lessons. 221 00:12:54,000 --> 00:13:00,000 The characters growing, overcoming obstacles or learning to like each other. 222 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:04,200 And literally every one of those things happens throughout this movie and all 223 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:10,200 like neatly compact in the end where it's Charlie writing the ending to it. 224 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:15,700 So he just crams everything he didn't want in the movie into the last like 30 minutes of it. 225 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:18,700 Oh, well, so the movie and the movie starts off with this. 226 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,000 The world the universe is created, you know, plants spreading. 227 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,000 It's spring up from dirt. 228 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,800 Fish walks on the land. 229 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,700 You see a baby's head crowning, which did not need. 230 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:36,200 But 41 minutes into the movie, when Charlie gets his bout of inspiration, 231 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,000 he writes that exact opening to his script. 232 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:44,100 Yeah. If you've ever watched the Detroiters, it's a lot like the scene 233 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,900 where Tim Robinson and Sam What's His Face 234 00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:53,900 take a bunch of uppers and brainstorm a commercial. 235 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,400 It's just like that. 236 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,900 He gets all sweaty. 237 00:13:56,900 --> 00:14:00,900 He's talking into a recorder and then I think he throws a chair at a window. 238 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,900 I can tell you my biggest laugh from this film, speaking of Deus Ex mocking 239 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:08,900 and how not to introduce in the film Deus Ex alligator. 240 00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:10,900 Yeah, they're being chased through the swamp. 241 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:14,900 La Roche has Charlie dead to rights 242 00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:20,900 and alligator just pops out of the water and just mercs La Roche. 243 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,900 Yeah, it was very incredible. 244 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,900 There's examples of it in every movie. 245 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,900 I don't need to fucking make a reference. 246 00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:31,900 You know what it looks like when a big animal eats a small animal. 247 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:38,900 And then Meryl Streep shows up and just is crying because her hillbilly lover is dead 248 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:42,900 after being directly responsible for Donald's death. 249 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:43,900 Yeah. 250 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:47,900 And tells Charlie to shut up, you fat fuck. 251 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:50,900 Yeah. 252 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:52,900 It's really the twisting of the knife. 253 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,900 He wore a fat suit for this movie. 254 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:55,900 Did he? 255 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:56,900 Yeah. 256 00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,900 See, I figured he would have just gained the weight. 257 00:14:58,900 --> 00:14:59,900 No commitment to the bit. 258 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,900 You know, he never breaks character on set, but... 259 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,900 Which character? 260 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,900 All character. 261 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,900 So he's both Charlie and Donald the whole time. 262 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,900 Is that true though about him not breaking character? 263 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,900 He stays in character real hard while he's on set. 264 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:15,900 I did not know that. 265 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:16,900 Yeah. 266 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:17,900 Oh my God. 267 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,900 That makes Army of One. 268 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,900 That makes Army of One real rough. 269 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:28,900 What's-your-face, Marcy from Army of One, talks about that in an interview about him. 270 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,900 He just stays in character. 271 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:36,900 Before we get to Army of One, there are some real interesting things around adaptation. 272 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,900 Oh yeah, there's lots of great things. 273 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:45,900 First and foremost, Charlie Kaufman was hired to adapt a screenplay of The Orchid Thief, 274 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:51,900 got massive writer's block, couldn't figure it out for all the reasons he couldn't in the movie, 275 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,900 so wrote this instead. 276 00:15:53,900 --> 00:16:01,900 Didn't tell his producers he was doing this, just assumed he was going to be fired and never work in Hollywood again, and turned it in. 277 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:04,900 That's crazy. 278 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:12,900 That's pretty ballsy, but I guess if you're just up against a wall and you've got a deadline, 279 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:16,900 at least this was somewhat connected to what he was supposed to do. 280 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,900 You just turn in homework. 281 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,900 Yeah, that's fine. 282 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:24,900 It's just weird that you wrote an essay on a multiple choice test. 283 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,900 Pretty much. 284 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:31,900 Oh, but directed by Spike Jonze, who went to bat for this script. 285 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:36,900 I hadn't realized how few movies he's actually full on directed. 286 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:37,900 Yeah, it's not many. 287 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:38,900 Four. 288 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:39,900 Yeah, it's not many. 289 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:40,900 It is not many. 290 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:45,900 Not good with names and stuff. What's he done? Tell me and the audience. 291 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:52,900 Being John Malkovich was first, obviously tied with Charlie Kaufman, then adaptation, then Where the Wild Things Are, 292 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:57,900 and then lastly and most recently was Her with Joaquin Phoenix. 293 00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:04,900 He also did a really awesome short film, Where They Come From, or Where Do They Come From. 294 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:09,900 It's all about where a pair of old sneakers you find in the gutter really come from. 295 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,900 I won't spoil it for you, but Google it. 296 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:12,900 It's on YouTube. 297 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:13,900 It's amazing. 298 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:19,900 Other fun fact, Susan Orlean was not okay with this when she found out what this was. 299 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:24,900 Saw the script and was just like, No, you cannot do this. 300 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:31,900 But apparently came around on the idea, but was genuinely worried this would completely ruin her reputation. 301 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,900 Right. 302 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:38,900 And I mean, yeah, not a great character in the film. 303 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:46,900 Yeah, I guess if you're like a writer for The New Yorker, you don't want movies coming out about you shacking up with toothless Floridians. 304 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,900 While doing a bunch of weird green blow. 305 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:57,900 Yeah, which I mean, at least Meryl Streep did a great crazy strung out Susan Orlean. 306 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:58,900 Yeah. 307 00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,900 Well, I assume it's great. 308 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:04,900 I don't know what Susan Orlean's actually like, but I'm assuming a lot like the performance. 309 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,900 La Roche and Orlean were on the phone together. 310 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,900 They were both really high on orchid. 311 00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:10,900 Oh, yeah. 312 00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,900 And she had him like match dial tone sounds. 313 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,900 Yeah. 314 00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:15,900 She just wanted to make a dial tone. 315 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:20,900 Like, don't do anything else, just go, oh, like, no, you're doing it slightly wrong. 316 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,900 Oh, sorry. 317 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,900 Much better. 318 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,900 I mean, you do. 319 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:26,900 You got to give this credit, right? 320 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:32,900 Like three people got nominated for Oscars on this one one pretty damn good. 321 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:36,900 Yeah, no, I don't want to make it sound like I don't like the movie. 322 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:37,900 I do like the movie. 323 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,900 It's it's really cerebral. 324 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:40,900 It's good. 325 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,900 It's got it took me on a great ride. 326 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,900 I really enjoyed watching it both times, but it's stressful. 327 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,900 It is very it's a stressful film. 328 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:50,900 Yeah. 329 00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:55,900 If you have anxiety, it can be upsetting to watch this. 330 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,900 I know. 331 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:57,900 That's all I got. 332 00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,900 It's a fun movie. 333 00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,900 I do have I mean, I do have other things. 334 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:01,900 Oh, all right. 335 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:02,900 Go for it. 336 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:03,900 I've been just telling my friends. 337 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:04,900 OK. 338 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:09,900 Once again, this is not a movie originally intended for Nicolas Cage. 339 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,900 It was going to be Tom Hanks playing both roles from what I've read. 340 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:19,900 But Nicolas Cage came in for five million dollars again. 341 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,900 Hey, and he got both roles. 342 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,900 That's two and a half million for each role. 343 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,900 I can't really picture this with Hanks playing that. 344 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,900 No, neither can I. 345 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,900 What was Hanks doing in 2002? 346 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:33,900 He was working on the terminal. 347 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:34,900 OK, why not? 348 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:35,900 Sure. 349 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:36,900 The terminal list with Chris Pratt. 350 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,900 Yeah, actually, no, I do know the answer to this. 351 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,900 He was doing Catch Me Catch Me If You Can. 352 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,900 Oh, yeah, that's that would be the right era. 353 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:43,900 Still airplane related. 354 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:44,900 Weird. 355 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,900 Yeah, right. 356 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:50,900 In one scene, Charlie Kaufman plays the double for Donald. 357 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:56,900 But the other stand in is Nicolas Cage's actual brother, Mark Coppola. 358 00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:01,900 Fun bringing, you know, family in and those Coppola's need, you know, need all the help they can get. 359 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,900 Yeah, they're a struggling, struggling family. 360 00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,900 Struggling winery. 361 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:11,900 Speaking of finances, this movie cost about like 19 million to make and it made like 22 million. 362 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,900 So pretty bad. 363 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:15,900 That's a shame. 364 00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,900 I mean, it is an arthouse film, though, so it's not. 365 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:24,900 It did break that hundred thousand mark, which is it did beat Jiu Jitsu's hundred thousand. 366 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,900 Yeah. All right. Is that the hurdle that movies have to clear? 367 00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,900 Yeah. Can you clear the Jiu Jitsu mark? 368 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:35,900 I always am curious about these movies, why they decide to release them when they do, because this came out in 369 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:43,900 early December and just got washed by Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. 370 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:49,900 And then two weeks later, the Lord of the Rings, the Twin Towers, the two towers. 371 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:54,900 Oh, yeah. 372 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,900 He's in a 9-11 movie. 373 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,900 It's like I said, I liked it. 374 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,900 Nick, do your favorite quote from this film? 375 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,900 I did have a favorite quote from this movie. 376 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:10,900 Donald on the ground just saying, I can't believe I got shot. 377 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,900 Isn't that fucked up? 378 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:18,900 And then Charlie just saying, shut up. Stop laughing. 379 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:27,900 So mine is Donald while brainstorming and writing his film with his girlfriend in the room talking to Charlie saying, 380 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:32,900 I'm putting in a chase sequence so the killer flees on horseback with the girl. 381 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,900 The cops after them on a motorcycle. 382 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:42,900 And it's like battle between motors and horses like technology versus horse. 383 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,900 Yeah, Donald is really the best character. 384 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:47,900 Donald is great. 385 00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:52,900 Probably why he doesn't exist. 386 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:55,900 I do want to see Donald's movie, though. 387 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:59,900 It sounds kind of like even if it was like a 30 minute short, that'd be pretty rad. 388 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:00,900 Yeah, I'm into it. 389 00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:03,900 I mean, I assumed it would have been directed by Sean Alon. 390 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:06,900 But yeah, by and large, I still really enjoyed this film. 391 00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,900 It's got a lot to like and yeah, there is a lot. 392 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:11,900 I recommend it. 393 00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:14,900 It is a good movie. I enjoyed it as well. 394 00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,900 So Nick Cage staying in character all the time. 395 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:20,900 This is oh my God. 396 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:25,900 That sounds awful for this next film, Army of One from 2016. 397 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:29,900 Nick, do you want to do you want to sell our listeners on this film? 398 00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:33,900 Yeah, this is pretty much everything I have on the film. 399 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:40,900 And it's about Gary Faulkner, part time, sometime construction worker 400 00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:47,900 and unemployed handyman just meets up with an old high school crush, 401 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:54,900 then gets a message from God telling him that he needs to go to Pakistan 402 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,900 to kill Osama bin Laden. 403 00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:59,900 Capture Osama bin Laden. Oh, yeah. Sorry. 404 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,900 Now shot, not kill. Yeah, that's right. 405 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,900 But yeah, capture Osama bin Laden. 406 00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:06,900 Bring him back for justice and stuff. 407 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:10,900 I think the important thing that was missing from that synopsis is that this is 408 00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:17,900 largely based on a real guy and accurate to the story as far as I know. 409 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:21,900 Yeah, it's a wacky. Yeah. 410 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:26,900 But it is another terrific character role. 411 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,900 It definitely is a character role. 412 00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:35,900 And hey, man, that's not a character that somebody just like, I think, makes up super easy. 413 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,900 This guy, he was something. He was. 414 00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:43,900 It's OK. So let's just let's just say the voice is terrible. 415 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:46,900 I don't know. I found it soothing. 416 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:47,900 Do I have to be that guy? 417 00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:50,900 Do I have to be the guy that defends the people with bad voices? 418 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,900 I mean, at this point, I think you have to. Yeah, it was it was rough. 419 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,900 I did get used to it after a while. 420 00:23:55,900 --> 00:24:00,900 But boy, when it first came on, I was like, what is this? 421 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:03,900 You know, I heard that voice and I was like, oh, fuck. 422 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,900 I identify with this so much as he's just like, 423 00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:11,900 he's got a bad kidney and he's getting dialysis and he's just sitting there. 424 00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,900 He's like, you know, what's fucking wrong with this country? 425 00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:17,900 Oh, my God. That is the voice. Fuck. Yeah. 426 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:20,900 Yeah. That's why I feel attacked right now. 427 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:25,900 Fuck. Well, that's that's all my jokes out the window. 428 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,900 No, it's OK. You can you can lay it on me. 429 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,900 No, it's tough. 430 00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:35,900 I'm getting more why it's a shame this movie isn't better because it should have been better. 431 00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:39,900 When we get into who was behind this, it should have been much better. 432 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,900 What you mean, like who directed it? 433 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:49,900 You mean the director of Borat or Religulous or Bruno or the Dictator? 434 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:52,900 Because this is what this guy's done. 435 00:24:52,900 --> 00:25:01,900 He's also was involved in the like 2001 tick show entourage Kirby enthusiasm. 436 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,900 He's got a pedigree like a Dalmatian. 437 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:06,900 It's spotty. I'm not saying it would be. 438 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:10,900 I'm not saying it would be a great movie, but it should have been a lot better. 439 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:13,900 Well, especially if you think like the cast is actually not bad. 440 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:15,900 No, no, it's got a pretty good cast. 441 00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:18,900 It's got like in Rainn Wilson in it. 442 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,900 Paul Scheer, Will Sasso. Yeah. 443 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,900 Also, Paul Scheer's character's name is Pickles. Pickles. Yeah. 444 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,900 Pickles. Great name. Gary Faulkner's best friend. 445 00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:34,900 This movie starts off as the most cage thing ever. 446 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:43,900 The first scene of the film is Gary Faulkner hang gliding over Pakistan with a katana. 447 00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:46,900 It's an American flag. American flag hang glider. 448 00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:52,900 American flag like hang gliding goggles and a sweet ass beard. 449 00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:58,900 A boombox hanging from the hang glider playing some like surf rock. 450 00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:01,900 Yeah. Generic surf rock. Something you can really enjoy hang gliding to. 451 00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:04,900 Yeah. And that's how it starts. 452 00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:07,900 And it's really all downhill from there. Yeah. 453 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:13,900 Like the next scene is him as a child running with a balloon, then getting bullied 454 00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:19,900 and then hearing the voice of God telling him his balloon stick was his righteous sword. 455 00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:24,900 And then we cut to Nick Cage and Tidy Whitey's living in a construction site. 456 00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:30,900 Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't have money, so he's just crashing in construction sites that he's worked on. 457 00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:35,900 It's pretty good. Then goes to an American flag sleeping bag. 458 00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:37,900 American flag sleeping bag. Because he's a patriot. 459 00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,900 He is a patriot. Let's not forget. 460 00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:45,900 I think the first big scene is him at the bar with Pickles and Roy, played by Will Sasso, 461 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:50,900 where he gets into it with a Marine because he's complaining how, you know, the Army hasn't caught 462 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,900 and the military hasn't caught Osama Bin Laden yet. 463 00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:57,900 And a Marine, you know, starts giving him shit. 464 00:26:57,900 --> 00:27:01,900 So he challenges him to a knife throwing contest. Yeah. Just whips out a big ass. 465 00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:06,900 Gary challenges the Marine. Yeah. The Marine has nothing to prove. 466 00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:12,900 But it's great. The Marine throws the knife, hits the dartboard. Everyone's duly impressed. 467 00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:19,900 Gary lines up, throws the knife and just hits this dude. Will Sasso. Will Sasso. 468 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:23,900 And apparently it's not the first time. Not again, Gary. 469 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:31,900 Third time he's hit him with this knife. Apparently always comes back with just a bruised ego. 470 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:35,900 It's awesome. It's a great scene. There's like it's a great scene. 471 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:39,900 That's the start. There's a lot to like at the start. 472 00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:45,900 Then he meets he's at the Home Depot, mansplaining everything that you can only buy American made. 473 00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:49,900 You don't want to buy a French toilet because it can't handle a strong American shit. 474 00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:52,900 Well, let me tell you one thing. When you work in construction, 475 00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:56,900 you know that you know more than everybody at Home Depot. 476 00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:59,900 It's all right. Fair. I can't I can't argue with that. 477 00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:06,900 No, I know nothing. Everybody I know less than any Home Depot, especially you, Clem. 478 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:11,900 I hope you hear this someday. Don't sue us Home Depot or Clem. 479 00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:14,900 Fuck it. Come at me, Clem. 480 00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:16,900 That's going to be a bit that's going to be on a T-shirt. 481 00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:20,900 Come at me. Clem is going to be our first T-shirt. Yeah. 482 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:24,900 But no, I mean, like it was a great scene, too, though. I agree with you. 483 00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:27,900 Yeah. And then he meets up with his old high school crush, 484 00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:31,900 who apparently used to have a crush on him. And she's got like an American flag tramp stamp. 485 00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:37,900 It's not just an American flag. It's a Bruce Springsteen American flag. 486 00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:40,900 He somehow slides into her DMS. 487 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:46,900 Shows up. Well, he's you know, voice aside, he's a charming guy. 488 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:53,900 He's so charming. Well, yeah. You know what? He's an authentic American male. 489 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:57,900 And it's all right. That's fair. I'm not going to deny you that. 490 00:28:57,900 --> 00:29:01,900 And then she has the weirdest request for going out with her, which is find me. 491 00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:08,900 Oh, yeah. Her only request to for someone to date her is for them to stalk her and show up at her house. 492 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:10,900 Yeah. Well, it sounds like she's pretty busy. 493 00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:16,900 So it could have been just been like a nice way of just being like, sure, I'll go on a date with you, 494 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:20,900 but I don't got time for weeks. So you're going to have to just find me. 495 00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:26,900 And then he does and never leaves and just brings ice cream for her mute child. 496 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:32,900 Gary's unstoppable love for this child. Yeah. 497 00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:35,900 Like he is such a nice guy. Like he's always doing things. 498 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:40,900 He helps rebuild like he tears out their ramp. 499 00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,900 Yeah. Their wheelchair ramp for their house because it was shit. 500 00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:45,900 And he goes and builds a new one for them. 501 00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:51,900 But it takes him a really long time because Gary's got, you know, admission from God and other things. 502 00:29:51,900 --> 00:29:55,900 But he's a nice guy. He builds them a wheelchair ramp. 503 00:29:55,900 --> 00:30:05,900 He brings her gifts like he plays along and he doesn't do anything to kind of come down on her for her disability. 504 00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:07,900 And it's like, it's a really nice guy. 505 00:30:07,900 --> 00:30:11,900 We I think we forgot to mention, though, who plays God in this film, Nick? 506 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,900 Oh, it's Russell Brand, obviously. Everyone's vision of God. 507 00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:20,900 Yeah, usually. I mean, Russell Brand literally looks like just walked off the street and they just pointed a camera at him. 508 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:26,900 Yeah, they didn't do anything to kind of like, well, they put like little like godly hand wrappings on him. 509 00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:28,900 Again, I think he just walked off the street with that. 510 00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:41,900 Oh, maybe. But yeah, Gary gets going for dialysis because he's got bum kidneys and he's told he tells everybody in the dialysis center what it is just on every subject. 511 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:50,900 Yeah. But then gets a visit from God to track down Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice. 512 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:54,900 Bring him back to America for justice and stuff for justice and stuff. 513 00:30:54,900 --> 00:31:02,900 God speaks to him a couple more times, despite telling me never going to talk to Gary again, because Gary's apparently a fuck up who needs God's help. 514 00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:04,900 But God will only help those who help themselves. 515 00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,900 Well, that's tough love God. And Gary needs a little tough love. 516 00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:12,900 Also, God sells him a katana on the home shopping network for a penny. 517 00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,900 Yeah. Well, OK, we're really jumping a bit. 518 00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:25,900 So like God tells Gary to go stop Osama bin Laden and he's like, OK, well, obviously I need a plan. 519 00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:28,900 Thinks about it and he's like, OK, I'm just going to go down to San Diego. 520 00:31:28,900 --> 00:31:35,900 I'll buy a sailboat for a thousand dollars and I'll sail to Pakistan from San Diego. 521 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:39,900 I'll capture Osama bin Laden and bring it back to America. 522 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:46,900 Boom plan. And he's confronted with the fact on a couple of occasions that he doesn't know how to sail. 523 00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:58,900 Yeah. And not I mean, a really enjoyable line from later in the movie is just Gary saying, you know, thinking back, 524 00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:09,900 not knowing how to sail really was a big setback to this whole plan. And it's like, yeah, because you crash your boat and ended up in Mexico after like a week on sea. 525 00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:15,900 But I think you guys you missed on the fact that Matthew Modine is his doctor, who's a pretty good actor. 526 00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:18,900 And that's for some reason in this movie. Oh, yeah. 527 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:23,900 Gary, Gary Collins, his doctor out of the money. Yeah. 528 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:28,900 And he's going to get married for the boat, his liver doctor. 529 00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:34,900 He tells him it's for an engagement ring so he can marry this girl. 530 00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:37,900 Definitely not for a boat to sail to Pakistan. 531 00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:42,900 So his second plan is to because he can't fly to Pakistan. 532 00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:46,900 So he's going to hang gliding to Pakistan. 533 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:57,900 And he's going to go to the hang glider store while at the sporting goods store, asks the guy selling the hang glider how many pieces they should cut on the plane. 534 00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:02,900 The guy's like, you know, yeah, it's supposed to come in a piece, one piece. 535 00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:07,900 He also asked the guy what some really sweet hang glider music would be. 536 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:09,900 And the guy's like, I don't know, Tom Petty. 537 00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:11,900 And he's like, wrong answer. 538 00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:16,900 Yeah, let's I want to back up real quick. He went he flew to Israel. 539 00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:21,900 That's right. To hang glide from a mountain to Pakistan. 540 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:30,900 And once again, I pulled up a map. These are not adjacent countries like they're not even close. 541 00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:36,900 He would have had to be in the air for like a week on a hang glider to get that far. 542 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:46,900 But his whole thought was like, if he crashed, he would just land in the Dead Sea and float because he doesn't know how to swim, which again goes back to the boat thing. 543 00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:55,900 What? Yeah. So he crashes his hang glider and then shows back up at Marzies broken and battered. 544 00:33:55,900 --> 00:34:05,900 Yeah. There's a portion in the middle of the movie where it almost feels like kind of the montage of Gary goes, tries a wacky plan. 545 00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:15,900 It doesn't work. He comes back to Marcy and you see the strain on the relationship as it continues to happen because she likes him and she wants him around. 546 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:20,900 But his mission for God always takes precedence for him. 547 00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:27,900 He goes back and forth. He has a couple like a little personal crises as he thinks about like quitting. 548 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:33,900 And then God comes back and tells him that he's an idiot and God doesn't like quitters. 549 00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:41,900 So him actually getting into Pakistan finally, because he has to go and get special special visa, special visa. 550 00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:46,900 And the guy's just like, no, I'm not going to give you that. 551 00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:55,900 And he goes off on his rant about how he's gone to Pakistan to capture Osama bin Laden and bring it back for justice. 552 00:34:55,900 --> 00:35:04,900 Yeah. And the guy just shrugs and stamps, stamps the paperwork and sends them on his way, which is I feel is just assisted suicide at that point. 553 00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:09,900 And then goes on his way. And then we have a weird 15 minutes of him just bombing around Pakistan. 554 00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:15,900 Yeah. You really see like how aimless his mission was and like how he had no plan. 555 00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:20,900 He's just in town in Pakistan asking people about the bearded one. 556 00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:25,900 I'm also how aimless this movie is. This is really the slope. This is the slope. 557 00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:28,900 Yeah. But looking for baby boy. 558 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:33,900 I think it's the part that probably is the most accurate. Yeah. 559 00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:36,900 I think it's the part that has the least embellishment. 560 00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:43,900 Are we also do we also assume that the scene where he totally sorted some guys to death in an alley is probably also real? 561 00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:49,900 I think it's likely. I mean, that's a weird scene is all I'm saying. 562 00:35:49,900 --> 00:36:06,900 Yeah. I think it's funny that like he's just like bumbling American Batman in Pakistan just like has a sword and not getting his dialysis, not getting his dialysis, obviously having hallucinations. 563 00:36:06,900 --> 00:36:11,900 My favorite of which is when he hallucinates MTV's Cribs Osama bin Laden. 564 00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:17,900 Yeah. The next sword fight that we've talked about previously happens in this movie. 565 00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:22,900 Yes. So he bumbles around Pakistan for a while. 566 00:36:22,900 --> 00:36:31,900 A friend of his slash security guard for the hotel he's staying at gets gunned down in the street and he assumes it was Osama coming for him. 567 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:42,900 So chases this guy into the hills, falls down from exhaustion or just not getting dialysis for like a month and is immediately hang gliding over Pakistan. 568 00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:49,900 Yeah. Sees Osama bin Laden down there is coming for him coming for you, Benny boy. 569 00:36:49,900 --> 00:37:00,900 And then they then he wakes up in a cave on his dialysis machine across from Osama bin Laden also on a dialysis machine because he did require dialysis. 570 00:37:00,900 --> 00:37:02,900 Yes. Yeah. 571 00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:03,900 Authenticity. 572 00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:07,900 This movie knew exactly when to end. And it's right now. 573 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:13,900 Like they're like no one's sticking around for any more of him like bumbling around. Let's just put him in a cave together. 574 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:15,900 So yes, they have their sword fight. 575 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:18,900 Yeah. So one of two Nick Cage sword fights. 576 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:26,900 Yeah. Osama bin Laden, Nick Cage, katana sword fight after getting dialysis in a cave. 577 00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:28,900 It's a great moment. 578 00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:29,900 It is. 579 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:30,900 For Americans. 580 00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:37,900 I also love when they both just like swing the katanas at each other and they hit each other swords and they both just drop their swords like how that hurts. 581 00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:39,900 Oh, yeah. 582 00:37:39,900 --> 00:37:45,900 As anybody who has not practiced in swinging a sword will do the first time. 583 00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:47,900 I mean, I would know I've never swung a sword. 584 00:37:47,900 --> 00:37:51,900 No, I imagine it's like rebar and I've swung rebar around. 585 00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,900 It's just metal in your hands. It just hurts. 586 00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:54,900 Yeah. 587 00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:55,900 You got soft hands. 588 00:37:55,900 --> 00:37:57,900 But it was a fun sword fight. 589 00:37:57,900 --> 00:37:58,900 It was a good one. 590 00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:05,900 It was a fun little like action scene, which this movie had plenty of decent action. 591 00:38:05,900 --> 00:38:10,900 Yeah. Like I said, there's a lot in this movie that should have been better. 592 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:12,900 We do get to see him masturbate. 593 00:38:12,900 --> 00:38:18,900 So that's both movies Nicholas Cage masturbates in and plays fictional versions of real people. 594 00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:20,900 Mm hmm. 595 00:38:20,900 --> 00:38:30,900 So, yeah, after his fight with Osama, he wakes up in a hospital bed and is immediately sent back to America. 596 00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:31,900 No charges filed. 597 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:42,900 Yeah. Well, so the CIA or whatever had been looking for him because they'd been hearing about an American samurai who is just terrorizing this neighborhood and they couldn't find him. 598 00:38:42,900 --> 00:38:46,900 And eventually, so they find him, they send him back and. 599 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:50,900 Gary goes home and makes up with mercy, swears his mission is over. 600 00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:53,900 He just wants to be a be a family man. 601 00:38:53,900 --> 00:38:57,900 Then, you know, all the news outlets show up on our house on our doorstep. 602 00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:58,900 Mm hmm. 603 00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:00,900 Then cut to. 604 00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:02,900 Again, sorry. 605 00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:10,900 Another thing from this movie is the protagonist questioning who was going to play him in the script of the movie. 606 00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:12,900 And he's like, Nicholas Cage can play me. 607 00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:17,900 Everybody tells me that Nicholas Cage and Conair looks a lot like me. 608 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,900 It's like, oh, Jesus. 609 00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:22,900 And we did end up with two of the most meta Nick Cage movies. 610 00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:26,900 I guess the new one is pretty meta, too. 611 00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:31,900 But it's surprising that we ended up with these head to head just randomly. 612 00:39:31,900 --> 00:39:32,900 Yeah. Yeah, no, it was. 613 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:40,900 I mean, it was really convenient that we got two movies where he plays fictionalized characters of real people. 614 00:39:40,900 --> 00:39:46,900 But just to wrap up the movie, the Barack Obama speech, we got him. 615 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:52,900 Oh, yeah. And then, you know, Marcy is clearly happy that this dumbass reek and end. 616 00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:58,900 And Gary just loses his shit about how why don't they show us the body? 617 00:39:58,900 --> 00:40:00,900 Yeah, they never caught him. He's still out there. 618 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:03,900 Full conspiracy theory. Planning his next sojourn. 619 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:18,900 Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the movie, you get a little splash of text that tells you Gary is looking to use the move or the money he receives for this movie to buy a new kidney so he can continue his mission. 620 00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:23,900 Which, boy, I don't think there's a lot of money in this for Gary. 621 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:33,900 Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm sure like he got paid something. I don't know how much a kidney goes for, but I got like half off of a kidney, at least. 622 00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:35,900 But we do have in his story option. 623 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:40,900 Yeah, we get to see some of actual Gary on like he was on the view. Yeah. 624 00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:44,900 And he has a very normal speaking voice. 625 00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:52,900 It's not as affected as Nicolas Cage is for sure. But Nicolas Cage obviously gave us a great character. 626 00:40:52,900 --> 00:40:56,900 It definitely rambled for a while and then suddenly ended. 627 00:40:56,900 --> 00:41:00,900 And a little crisis of identity in the last third, for sure. 628 00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:08,900 But yeah, I don't this movie doesn't is his character supposed to be funny because how absurd he is. 629 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:11,900 Are we supposed to like root for him? Is he actually a hero? 630 00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:16,900 Yeah, the problem really is that just nothing really happens. 631 00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:23,900 There's no resolution for what Gary is trying to go through. No. And that's unfortunate. Yeah. 632 00:41:23,900 --> 00:41:28,900 What do you do? It's an ongoing story. He's still out there fighting the good fight. 633 00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:30,900 God bless him. Looking for the bearded one. 634 00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:35,900 Bearded one. Benny boy. Do you have a favorite quote? 635 00:41:35,900 --> 00:41:42,900 So this has three and I'm going to give them to you in my favorite order. 636 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:46,900 And they're all obviously from the beginning of the movie. All right. 637 00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:52,900 The first one is when Gary's on dialysis and I'll try not to do. 638 00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:59,900 Now, I'm just going to Gary voice it. Man, this country makes the best goddamn chicken wings in the world. 639 00:41:59,900 --> 00:42:04,900 Now, I haven't seen the whole world. I haven't tasted chicken wings in Africa. 640 00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:13,900 But I'd be willing to bet the right ball on a broke dick dog that no place makes better wings than they do here. 641 00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:17,900 That was my quote. Man. I love that. 642 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:22,900 That's a good quote. It starts off so strong. Yeah. 643 00:42:22,900 --> 00:42:30,900 And he's just like fucking at church basically here in dialysis, just preaching to people about his weird ass shit. 644 00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:35,900 I love that one. It's not my favorite quote that I like it, but it's not my best. 645 00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:44,900 The next two are both out of the Home Depot scene because he's just walking around and like Sean said, he's just giving terrible. 646 00:42:44,900 --> 00:42:50,900 It's not even advice. He's just belittling everything at Home Depot. 647 00:42:50,900 --> 00:42:55,900 So he's walking past two guys that are just looking at two by fours. 648 00:42:55,900 --> 00:43:00,900 He's like, I don't know what you're putting up, but that ain't going to hold it and just walks fast. 649 00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:06,900 And it's like, what? And my favorite was just don't buy that toilet. 650 00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:11,900 That toilet was made in Africa. Pygmies made that toilet and they take small shits. 651 00:43:11,900 --> 00:43:17,900 Your turd, your potty, your poo, as it were, won't bake it past the flusher. 652 00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:21,900 That's my favorite. The poo, as it were. 653 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:27,900 And I'm sorry that I have the voice for this. It took me back immediately. 654 00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:32,900 I know I tried to do a bit of a deep dive and find any information I could about this movie, and it is it's absolutely tough. 655 00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:36,900 There's like nothing out there. The only thing that really made me laugh. 656 00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:45,900 I love a good succinct statement. And in Wikipedia talking about reviews, it just said this received negative reviews. 657 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:48,900 Yeah. Yeah. Fucking bad. 658 00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:52,900 All right. Well, hit me, Sean. What do you got? You took my favorite quote. 659 00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:56,900 Do you want to try to read it in the voice and see who did it better? Now it's all right. 660 00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:59,900 I've got it. I got to touch on one thing that I brought up earlier. 661 00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:05,900 So I was looking at the music for this. Sean was asking some questions about it and I was looking at the music credits at the end. 662 00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:10,900 And I realized that there is one song listed as performed by Nick Cage. 663 00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:16,900 And now I have to go back and watch this whole fucking movie to try and find it. 664 00:44:16,900 --> 00:44:20,900 And I assume it's performed by Nick Cage as Gary. 665 00:44:20,900 --> 00:44:25,900 Well, if you find it, I really would appreciate it if it was our outro music this week. 666 00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:28,900 Oh, yeah. I don't know if we get sued for that. Don't sue us. 667 00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:32,900 What are you, Charles? Just us making the noises of it. 668 00:44:32,900 --> 00:44:36,900 Like, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. And the theme from Doug. 669 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,900 And we can't confirm or deny that. All right. 670 00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:42,900 So this gets us to the main main question then. Right. 671 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:47,900 Do you want to explain what we're doing here again just for the listeners and all the people who complain that we just jumped the gun last week? 672 00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:50,900 Oh, yeah. The people who tune in at the power mark. 673 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:55,900 So the main sons of bitches, they're taking food out of my kids' mouths. 674 00:44:55,900 --> 00:44:58,900 So, I mean, the main thing is that it's a head to head match up. 675 00:44:58,900 --> 00:45:04,900 It's bracket style. There's 64 Nick Cage movies. We're going to go through them all week by week. 676 00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:10,900 So these guys have to decide the winner. But the rules are made up and they don't matter. 677 00:45:10,900 --> 00:45:13,900 Yeah. Yeah. What's the winner? 678 00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:16,900 It's adaptation. It has to be adaptation. It's Army of One. 679 00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:20,900 My God. I honestly would rather watch Army of One. 680 00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:25,900 It's not a better film, though. Doesn't matter. 681 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:29,900 Wow. Episode two. And we've already. Controversy. 682 00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:32,900 In this head to head match up, like one of these has to win. 683 00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:35,900 I'm OK being an ultimate tiebreaker if we need it. 684 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,900 But I think it's better if you guys debate and figure out a consensus. 685 00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:41,900 We should have discussed rules for this beforehand. It wouldn't matter. 686 00:45:41,900 --> 00:45:44,900 The rules are made up and they don't matter. Yeah. Fuck. You're right. 687 00:45:44,900 --> 00:45:53,900 Hoist on my own petard. I mean, we've always been clear about this eventually boils down into which movie do you want to watch more? 688 00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:57,900 Because you will watch. Yeah, we're going to have to watch it again. 689 00:45:57,900 --> 00:46:02,900 It's true. And yeah, theoretically three to four times. Yeah. 690 00:46:02,900 --> 00:46:07,900 Yeah. Three times total view like weeks of it, three episodes of it. Yeah. 691 00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:11,900 But I've watched all of these movies multiple times in preparation for it. 692 00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:25,900 And I can say that, like, through my watching, like, yeah, I mean, structurally, the script, the acting adaptation was a more complete movie. 693 00:46:25,900 --> 00:46:32,900 But I didn't leave the movie thinking about parts of it that I liked. 694 00:46:32,900 --> 00:46:37,900 I finished the movie and I was like, oh, OK, that was a good movie. 695 00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:44,900 And I did something else. Army of One gave me reasons, good and bad, to think about the movie. 696 00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:47,900 And I didn't stop thinking about it. You can't. Yeah. 697 00:46:47,900 --> 00:46:57,900 And I think ultimately that wins it for me because I finished it, but it wasn't done with me. 698 00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:06,900 That's hard to argue. And OK, I get it. I've definitely thought more about Army of One, but not for good reasons, 699 00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:11,900 but mostly because it is so bad. There's just so much more fun to talk about it. 700 00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:15,900 But sometimes bad fun. No, I agree. I love terrible things. 701 00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:19,900 I see you. Ice Pirates. We need that. That'll be for the page. 702 00:47:19,900 --> 00:47:22,900 And we'll just watch it. It says nothing. Yeah. 703 00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:28,900 Jujitsu. I mean, I'd rather watch Jujitsu. Really? Yeah. Love Jujitsu. 704 00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:33,900 I've had two friends who've watched it because of our first episode and they're still my friends. 705 00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:36,900 Yeah, somehow I don't think we're going to get any big converts to Army of One. 706 00:47:36,900 --> 00:47:38,900 I mean, that's ultimately what it is for me is I can't. 707 00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:43,900 Last week, I was adamant that people should watch Jujitsu. No one should watch Army of One. 708 00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:48,900 I disagree. That's up to that point. And even in the end, it's interesting. 709 00:47:48,900 --> 00:47:54,900 It's a much more hopeful story. It's made me it made me aware of it. 710 00:47:54,900 --> 00:47:56,900 It made me interested in it. 711 00:47:56,900 --> 00:48:00,900 Normally a story like this has to start with words like Florida, man. 712 00:48:00,900 --> 00:48:05,900 And it's not. He's from Colorado. He's just I don't know. So unique. 713 00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:11,900 I like the character. I keep going back and I'm like, maybe it would have worked better for like, 714 00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:14,900 I mean, obviously he's a real person. 715 00:48:14,900 --> 00:48:22,900 I can't just say this would have been better in like a sketch performance kind of SNL sort of situation, like recurring character. 716 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:26,900 But he seems like the kind of guy that would just pop into your life. 717 00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:32,900 It's fucking weird for a little bit. And then he goes to Pakistan and to find it been one. 718 00:48:32,900 --> 00:48:37,900 Yeah. And I've had weird people like that in my life. I have, too. 719 00:48:37,900 --> 00:48:40,900 And most of them have fucked me over, which is why I don't think I like Gary. 720 00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:45,900 That's fair. But I don't think you have a sweet born free like tramp stamp. 721 00:48:45,900 --> 00:48:49,900 I don't. My tramp stamps are something very different. 722 00:48:49,900 --> 00:48:55,900 I think that's what it ultimately comes down to. I mean, I'm not a huge fan of the perf. 723 00:48:55,900 --> 00:49:01,900 There's a lot to be said about his performance, because as we said last week, Cage never stops. 724 00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:05,900 He's never doesn't get a half ass performance and he gives it his all. 725 00:49:05,900 --> 00:49:09,900 And I just think it was the wrong creative decision. 726 00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:15,900 I don't know. It's like you get this blue collar American hero for the audience 727 00:49:15,900 --> 00:49:20,900 and you just see him put into situations where like, yeah, he doesn't succeed every time. 728 00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:28,900 But when he does, it's what counts. And it's in like building relationships, having a family. 729 00:49:28,900 --> 00:49:30,900 I will I will renege on something here. 730 00:49:30,900 --> 00:49:35,900 This is ultimately a movie or ultimately a podcast about Nick Cage films. 731 00:49:35,900 --> 00:49:40,900 Adaptation is an Oscar nominated performance. Army of one is full cage. 732 00:49:40,900 --> 00:49:46,900 In terms of a film that is 100 percent a Nicolas Cage film. 733 00:49:46,900 --> 00:49:51,900 It's Army of one, I guess. Oh, that's that hurts my soul. 734 00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:54,900 I have to watch this again now. I want it on the record though. 735 00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:59,900 Adaptation is a better film. Yeah. Structurally, like critically. 736 00:49:59,900 --> 00:50:03,900 Sure. Yeah. I'm sure Nick Cage made five million dollars. 737 00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:07,900 That seems to be the pattern. Peter, do you have thoughts on which film should win? 738 00:50:07,900 --> 00:50:11,900 You know what? Honestly, guys, like I don't I don't think it fucking matters. 739 00:50:11,900 --> 00:50:14,900 I do think that Nick kind of hit on the main point. 740 00:50:14,900 --> 00:50:20,900 Like if if this is about like the movie, the Nick Cage movie that you can just watch a million times, 741 00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:24,900 then and that's the thesis for our show, then that's the winner. 742 00:50:24,900 --> 00:50:27,900 Right. Like what's the thing that you can continue to go back to? 743 00:50:27,900 --> 00:50:30,900 And like and we're talking about the best Nick Cage movie. 744 00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:33,900 It doesn't have to be critically the best movie. This is true. Right. 745 00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:37,900 Like Ghost Rider could be the winner, right? Even though that's not now. 746 00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:41,900 No, Ghost Rider Spirit to Vengeance. Sorry. Excuse me. 747 00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:45,900 Could be the best movie. So, yeah. All right. 748 00:50:45,900 --> 00:50:48,900 That's our second film definitively. 749 00:50:48,900 --> 00:50:51,900 And if you have other opinions, I don't care. 750 00:50:51,900 --> 00:50:56,900 Yeah, we're not on Twitter or anything. So just write about it into the void. 751 00:50:56,900 --> 00:51:01,900 Again, just shout it at your neighbor, but be sure to tell him that it's for Cage match. 752 00:51:01,900 --> 00:51:04,900 So he has to listen. Yeah. Cage match. Cage match with Nick and Sean. 753 00:51:04,900 --> 00:51:07,900 Yes. Specifically, Gorilla marketing. Yeah, that's right. 754 00:51:07,900 --> 00:51:12,900 You know, your complaints about our opinions at your neighbors and tell them where to go to hear said opinions 755 00:51:12,900 --> 00:51:16,900 so they can yell them at their neighbors. Yeah. So I'm excited about next week's. 756 00:51:16,900 --> 00:51:21,900 We keep saying week, but, you know, things happen. People get COVID neck. 757 00:51:21,900 --> 00:51:25,900 I'm excited about it. I'm just a really good kisser. I can't help it. It's true. 758 00:51:25,900 --> 00:51:28,900 I didn't get it, though. Nice. 759 00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:34,900 So next up is Pig. Oh, critically acclaimed, which you guys have seen. 760 00:51:34,900 --> 00:51:41,900 And I have I have not seen it's going to fail because it's going up against his absolute worst rated film left behind, 761 00:51:41,900 --> 00:51:46,900 which is like definitely some sort of Christian allegory, ridiculous shit. 762 00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:55,900 So have fun, guys. Yeah. We. 763 00:51:55,900 --> 00:52:03,900 What does Hayden have pizza pockets? I mean, he strikes me as an uncrustables guy. 764 00:52:03,900 --> 00:52:17,900 Fuck you. That's the meanest thing you ever said.