WEBVTT 00:00:01.830 --> 00:00:23.050 Oh, God. Oh, my God. All right, Peter, where 00:00:23.050 --> 00:00:25.890 the fuck are you? Oh, don't worry about where 00:00:25.890 --> 00:00:27.859 I am. Don't worry about this box that just says 00:00:27.859 --> 00:00:31.140 crap. You're in the crap closet. Are you are 00:00:31.140 --> 00:00:34.719 you running from the Colombian cartel? Perhaps. 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:38.500 So there's going to be a freeze frame of me and 00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:44.679 it'll just say the producer. Oh, my God. This 00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:49.799 film was something else. But before we get to 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:53.020 that. welcome back to cage match colon a roundabout 00:00:53.020 --> 00:00:55.500 way of meeting nicholas cage i'm sean here with 00:00:55.500 --> 00:01:00.600 my co -host nick and our producer peter the producer 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:03.700 from the crap closet the crap closet and our 00:01:03.700 --> 00:01:06.400 special guest this week my part -time therapist 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:08.739 and full -time bartender kindra what's up you 00:01:08.739 --> 00:01:12.379 guys hey do we all get cute the names like can 00:01:12.379 --> 00:01:15.859 i be the bartender you can be the producer yes 00:01:15.859 --> 00:01:18.480 absolutely so nick and sean you've got to come 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:21.280 up with your own names Well, that's rough because 00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:23.560 I immediately wanted to be like the asshole. 00:01:23.739 --> 00:01:26.719 And it's like, but I'm the asshole. I mean, it 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.959 could be both. Yeah. I mean, I want to say the 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:35.299 talent, but that seems like the asshole and the 00:01:35.299 --> 00:01:39.120 talent. Yeah. No, it's the talent, but in quotation 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:42.519 marks. There you go. I like that. Yeah. We can 00:01:42.519 --> 00:01:44.920 just leave both the talent and the asshole on 00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:47.760 the floor and let whoever walks in figure out 00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:50.879 what's what. Like, I don't know. I do want to 00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:52.980 call off the top since I'm assuming the poster 00:01:52.980 --> 00:01:55.200 is going to be Lawrence Fishburne and Nick Cage 00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:56.659 sitting on the car after they killed the Hebrew 00:01:56.659 --> 00:02:00.859 Hammer. I call not Fishburne. No, I got a picture, 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:04.620 a screen grab of the guy, the Mexican guy from 00:02:04.620 --> 00:02:09.180 the cocaine production at the little cafe. Get 00:02:09.180 --> 00:02:12.659 out of here, Nick. Did you call Dibs Fishburne? 00:02:13.620 --> 00:02:17.219 Maybe. Okay, so use that then. I called not Fishburne, 00:02:17.300 --> 00:02:21.750 so let me make Nick Fishburne. We have not once 00:02:21.750 --> 00:02:26.870 done that, so nope. I know. I'm not blackfacing 00:02:26.870 --> 00:02:30.169 a single person. I'm sorry. We got six episodes 00:02:30.169 --> 00:02:32.770 left, so come on. Now is the time to do blackface. 00:02:33.889 --> 00:02:37.650 Are there six? Is that our whitewashing? I think 00:02:37.650 --> 00:02:42.629 we got four left, yeah. I mean, yeah, we just 00:02:42.629 --> 00:02:44.750 watched Running with the Devil. It's not good. 00:02:45.189 --> 00:02:48.979 No way, we get to watch Flash next. By the way, 00:02:48.979 --> 00:02:52.719 we watched Running with the Devil from 2019 starring 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:56.560 Nicholas Cage, Lawrence Fishburne. And it's about 00:02:56.560 --> 00:03:00.800 the drug, about cocaine and getting drugs from 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:04.319 Colombia to Canada. So, OK, the first thing that 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:07.900 I want to say about this is like, is it worth 00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:11.240 that much fucking effort? There's so much shit 00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:14.240 and so many people get killed in this. And it's 00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:17.120 like it's all just for some coke. let's let's 00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:19.039 let's ask our canadian friend who loves coke 00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:20.719 yeah you clearly haven't been addicted before 00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:23.919 my friend i feel like uh this movie makes it 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.039 a lot more difficult than it is i feel like it's 00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:30.800 probably easier to get cocaine from central america 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.340 to canada i'm surprised there was no like inner 00:03:33.340 --> 00:03:36.039 body smuggling you know everything's outside 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:40.719 of a body everything but that giant dildo that 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:43.759 definitely went in lawrence fishburne well yeah 00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:46.289 that's for sure But even the character named 00:03:46.289 --> 00:03:48.770 the mule doesn't put anything in his asshole. 00:03:49.030 --> 00:03:52.849 Like, come on, man. I mean, stick a little in 00:03:52.849 --> 00:03:54.689 there. Professionally, but maybe recreationally. 00:03:54.729 --> 00:03:56.789 No balloons. At least recreationally. No, that 00:03:56.789 --> 00:03:59.110 was his problem. See, he was he was taking his 00:03:59.110 --> 00:04:02.330 little bit. Just a just a spoonful in the butthole. 00:04:03.069 --> 00:04:08.370 A spoon in the butthole. exactly right so this 00:04:08.370 --> 00:04:10.810 is my i'm just gonna get right to my immediate 00:04:10.810 --> 00:04:14.210 issue with this film one i think patriot pictures 00:04:14.210 --> 00:04:17.350 clearly hates america because every movie we've 00:04:17.350 --> 00:04:19.870 watched from them is all about how america is 00:04:19.870 --> 00:04:23.129 terrible it does have a certain theme that they've 00:04:23.129 --> 00:04:25.689 kind of glommed on to because the other one that 00:04:25.689 --> 00:04:29.129 i can think of was vengeance a love story which 00:04:29.129 --> 00:04:32.490 is all about how if you're a woman who likes 00:04:32.490 --> 00:04:35.949 sex you deserve to be raped Oh, yeah, it's that 00:04:35.949 --> 00:04:40.029 one. Yeah, OK. Except, you know, then Don Johnson 00:04:40.029 --> 00:04:43.050 will write off on a sick Harley. Oh, hell yeah. 00:04:43.170 --> 00:04:45.689 Don Johnson's motorcycle made up for that whole 00:04:45.689 --> 00:04:49.189 movie. Like if you had just led with it's the 00:04:49.189 --> 00:04:51.670 Don Johnson movie, I'd have been like, fuck, 00:04:51.750 --> 00:04:54.009 yeah. But then you had to bring in that whole 00:04:54.009 --> 00:04:58.269 like story that went with it. No, give me Don 00:04:58.269 --> 00:05:02.129 Johnson as a sleazy lawyer riding off motorcycle. 00:05:02.529 --> 00:05:06.199 No helmet. just the wind in his hair what was 00:05:06.199 --> 00:05:09.160 i saying oh so yeah uh patriot pictures uh canonically 00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:11.519 hates america i'm trying to see what some of 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:14.339 their other films are now i can't remember oh 00:05:14.339 --> 00:05:16.480 okay so prisoners of the ghost land was another 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:18.740 one of theirs so that would be wrong can't all 00:05:18.740 --> 00:05:22.759 be bad they they also have how the gringo stole 00:05:22.759 --> 00:05:25.899 christmas okay that doesn't have nicholas cage 00:05:25.899 --> 00:05:28.420 in it though it does not but they did do also 00:05:28.420 --> 00:05:31.740 do tokarev I also like when I went to their website, 00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:34.680 I believe they also have distribution rights 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:37.839 for the Matrix. Oh, I'm sorry. This is the most 00:05:37.839 --> 00:05:39.480 important thing that we buried on this. They 00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:41.660 are also the movie or the production company 00:05:41.660 --> 00:05:45.100 that created Chocolate City, which looks like 00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:49.279 a all African -American magic mic and Chocolate 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:51.980 City to colon Vegas and Chocolate City three 00:05:51.980 --> 00:05:56.079 colon the live tour. Well, why are we not doing 00:05:56.079 --> 00:05:59.779 a podcast about this? Oh, also Lord of War. Are 00:05:59.779 --> 00:06:01.959 there more chocolate cities than Magic Mike's? 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:04.620 Sounds like it. I just want to talk about the 00:06:04.620 --> 00:06:08.040 sequels, or as I'll only refer to them, the colons. 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:12.500 Talk to me about those chocolate colons. Gross. 00:06:14.579 --> 00:06:19.139 So, Kendra, you get the honor of telling our 00:06:19.139 --> 00:06:23.740 guests what the movie was about. Do I? You do. 00:06:23.860 --> 00:06:26.800 You get that special gift. Well, let's see. I 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:29.529 believe this movie was about... How to make cocaine. 00:06:29.649 --> 00:06:31.649 That was a really interesting part. Comes from 00:06:31.649 --> 00:06:34.449 leaves. They chop them up. They, you know, cook 00:06:34.449 --> 00:06:36.649 them up. And then one guy gives it to another 00:06:36.649 --> 00:06:38.189 guy, gives it to another guy, gives it to another 00:06:38.189 --> 00:06:40.509 guy. And then somewhere along the line, Nick 00:06:40.509 --> 00:06:43.850 Cage is like, man, my shit is dirty. People on 00:06:43.850 --> 00:06:46.050 the streets are dying. Who could it be? Could 00:06:46.050 --> 00:06:48.170 it be in Colombia? Couldn't be my man. There's 00:06:48.170 --> 00:06:50.529 no way it could be my main man. There's no way. 00:06:50.589 --> 00:06:54.129 There's no way. Well, it is. And that's basically 00:06:54.129 --> 00:06:55.970 the plot of the movie. Sorry. Spoiler alert. 00:06:56.250 --> 00:06:58.870 No, that's pretty much it. But then there's also 00:06:58.870 --> 00:07:01.050 like Leslie Bibb is in this and she's like, I'm 00:07:01.050 --> 00:07:02.730 a special agent. I'm going to get to the bottom 00:07:02.730 --> 00:07:06.129 of this. But then she's like also a double agent 00:07:06.129 --> 00:07:08.670 and she somehow has the ability to kidnap and 00:07:08.670 --> 00:07:11.269 torture people. Yeah, that didn't make a lot 00:07:11.269 --> 00:07:14.629 of sense. But then is also an FBI agent. So like 00:07:14.629 --> 00:07:17.389 I didn't get exactly where she stood, whether 00:07:17.389 --> 00:07:19.990 she was like a good cop or a bad cop or a both 00:07:19.990 --> 00:07:22.629 cop, you know, because she gets a she gets a 00:07:22.629 --> 00:07:24.589 call while she's interrogating the Hebrew hammer 00:07:24.589 --> 00:07:28.639 about like. because she's like let him go and 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:31.740 her uh partner's like you can't let him go she 00:07:31.740 --> 00:07:34.300 gets a call hands a call over to dude and dude's 00:07:34.300 --> 00:07:37.839 like i guess we let him go yeah so who made that 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:40.019 call was that like the boss guy the canadian 00:07:40.019 --> 00:07:42.939 boss guy like i because she like walked up to 00:07:42.939 --> 00:07:45.259 him and was like how dare you this is all you're 00:07:45.259 --> 00:07:48.439 doing and he's like whoa it wasn't me huh so 00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:51.360 and by canadian boss guy do you mean all caps 00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:55.319 the boss correct yeah the boss yes okay that's 00:07:55.319 --> 00:07:57.879 his name nick cage and this is named the cook 00:07:57.879 --> 00:08:00.259 which i think is a misnomer because he's not 00:08:00.259 --> 00:08:03.019 actually making drugs no the mule is actually 00:08:03.019 --> 00:08:06.079 the cook come on yeah he is a chef he does cook 00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:09.519 pizzas he's an actual he's a chef he he owns 00:08:09.519 --> 00:08:12.100 a pizza restaurant in seattle i think they did 00:08:12.100 --> 00:08:13.639 that on purpose to be cute because it should 00:08:13.639 --> 00:08:18.259 have been the chef yeah yeah i agree So I did 00:08:18.259 --> 00:08:20.720 not realize this until the credits that nobody 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:24.980 had a name that the whole of the title thing 00:08:24.980 --> 00:08:27.579 was just kind of the bit because it really bothered 00:08:27.579 --> 00:08:31.459 me when the agent in charge showed up at the 00:08:31.459 --> 00:08:32.980 scene of her dead sister was like, where's the 00:08:32.980 --> 00:08:36.200 child? Where's the child? Instead of, you know, 00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:39.100 where's Lisa, my niece, that human I care about. 00:08:39.710 --> 00:08:42.730 Yeah, it was always the kid. We were like, the 00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:45.149 child, the child. And then in the credits rolling, 00:08:45.389 --> 00:08:47.090 it's like the child. We were like, oh, I guess 00:08:47.090 --> 00:08:49.870 her name was the child. It's like I could understand 00:08:49.870 --> 00:08:53.149 all the main characters being the but like you 00:08:53.149 --> 00:08:55.470 could just name her Lisa or whatever, right? 00:08:55.570 --> 00:08:57.730 Like it would have been fine. It was the dead 00:08:57.730 --> 00:09:00.750 prostitute one and the dead prostitute two. Yeah. 00:09:00.850 --> 00:09:03.269 Do you think that was a bid from the production 00:09:03.269 --> 00:09:06.070 companies to pay people less? Like if we don't 00:09:06.070 --> 00:09:08.429 give you a name, we don't have to pay you as 00:09:08.429 --> 00:09:10.870 much. I don't know that that's how it works, 00:09:10.929 --> 00:09:13.129 but I like that idea. I think much like Tenet, 00:09:13.210 --> 00:09:17.350 it's just up its own ass. Yeah. That's probably 00:09:17.350 --> 00:09:20.110 true. Except much more watchable than Tenet. 00:09:20.289 --> 00:09:23.049 You heard it here first, folks. Running with 00:09:23.049 --> 00:09:26.110 the Devil, more watchable than Tenet. I agree 00:09:26.110 --> 00:09:28.090 with that. This movie was like, we can be a little 00:09:28.090 --> 00:09:32.070 Guy Ritchie. We can do a little Guy Ritchie cool 00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:36.190 thing. No, no, it can't. It tried. It didn't. 00:09:36.190 --> 00:09:39.730 It did try. At the very least, this was more 00:09:39.730 --> 00:09:43.750 audible. Yeah, I mean, you could hear them. Yeah. 00:09:43.870 --> 00:09:49.129 Hear first, folks. More audible than Tenet. Listen, 00:09:49.250 --> 00:09:52.690 getting better than Tenet is not exactly a big, 00:09:52.710 --> 00:09:59.110 big ask. Now, hold on. Is it Tenet? Tenet? I 00:09:59.110 --> 00:10:01.450 think it's Tenet, but I like saying it wrong 00:10:01.450 --> 00:10:05.450 on purpose. I like Tenet. Yeah, Tenet, it seems 00:10:05.450 --> 00:10:09.289 right. Yeah. It's French, which explains why 00:10:09.289 --> 00:10:13.870 it's shitty. Take that, Christopher Nolan. We 00:10:13.870 --> 00:10:16.230 know you listen to our podcast. Yeah, absolutely. 00:10:16.730 --> 00:10:19.509 Take that, French soccer team. Yeah, they sucked 00:10:19.509 --> 00:10:22.950 today. They got creamed. Yeah, fuck you, France. 00:10:24.629 --> 00:10:27.470 So let's see. So yeah, you've got Leslie Bibb 00:10:27.470 --> 00:10:31.929 as agent in charge. Peter Falcinelli, who never 00:10:31.929 --> 00:10:35.090 has a name. He's the other fed with the mustache. 00:10:35.909 --> 00:10:39.389 he was in like the twilight movies or as i call 00:10:39.389 --> 00:10:43.210 him um gringo pedro pascal yeah that's a good 00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:47.730 one yeah i i referred to him in my notes as capitals 00:10:47.730 --> 00:10:51.710 the mustache so lawrence fishburne is the man 00:10:51.710 --> 00:10:56.210 who we get to watch a fucking jack off in a porn 00:10:56.210 --> 00:11:00.100 theater uh as his opening gambit oh yeah yeah 00:11:00.100 --> 00:11:03.419 also just to like two ladies kissing lightly 00:11:03.419 --> 00:11:07.600 like that's what gets you off dude yeah i'm not 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:11.059 gonna lie that scene really sold me a movie that 00:11:11.059 --> 00:11:14.220 it could not deliver on because that came in 00:11:14.220 --> 00:11:18.360 the first like five minutes and coincidentally 00:11:18.360 --> 00:11:24.139 same but this uh this movie fell apart it fucking 00:11:24.139 --> 00:11:28.610 sucked after that i was excited to watch lawrence 00:11:28.610 --> 00:11:31.330 fishburne press it up against the glass and just 00:11:31.330 --> 00:11:34.529 i paused this movie at that scene i'm like yep 00:11:34.529 --> 00:11:38.029 five minutes because my initial understanding 00:11:38.029 --> 00:11:41.610 of this film was nick texting peter and i Five 00:11:41.610 --> 00:11:45.149 minutes in, I love this fucking movie. And then 00:11:45.149 --> 00:11:48.049 nothing ever again. But like, it's so obvious 00:11:48.049 --> 00:11:50.889 he's the bad guy immediately because it's like 00:11:50.889 --> 00:11:53.970 you have these wholesome people like Nick Cage 00:11:53.970 --> 00:11:56.870 is making pizzas for children. And then you have 00:11:56.870 --> 00:11:58.690 Lawrence Fishburne. He's like whacking off to 00:11:58.690 --> 00:12:00.590 some soft core ladies making out. You're like, 00:12:00.649 --> 00:12:02.629 this guy's definitely the bad guy. Guess what? 00:12:02.909 --> 00:12:06.090 Big reveal. He is. So that was a little disappointing. 00:12:06.350 --> 00:12:09.750 Also, just dry humping away with with some sex 00:12:09.750 --> 00:12:13.009 workers. For sure. Yeah, you got to get wet to 00:12:13.009 --> 00:12:16.009 stay wet, Larry Fish. He also kissed one of them. 00:12:16.029 --> 00:12:20.269 Like, girl, as a prostitute, you don't make out 00:12:20.269 --> 00:12:22.929 with your money, OK? It's true. Not on the lips. 00:12:22.990 --> 00:12:24.769 Yeah, there's a couple of scenes of this where 00:12:24.769 --> 00:12:27.750 there's some there's some kissing of the night 00:12:27.750 --> 00:12:30.490 ladies. They just don't do that. That's just 00:12:30.490 --> 00:12:33.149 bad Hollywood. So the whole thing kind of ends 00:12:33.149 --> 00:12:35.809 up being this like Nick Cage gets a call from 00:12:35.809 --> 00:12:39.830 the boss. And so the boss calls him and is like, 00:12:39.950 --> 00:12:41.870 my shit's fucked up. Like, you got to figure 00:12:41.870 --> 00:12:45.370 it out. So he has to go to Mexico, right? Yeah. 00:12:45.429 --> 00:12:49.450 Before this, though, there is a scene of a drug 00:12:49.450 --> 00:12:53.970 shipment, this specific cocaine getting stolen 00:12:53.970 --> 00:12:58.850 by feds, sniper in a helicopter shooting the 00:12:58.850 --> 00:13:01.049 truck driver and the truck getting mowed down 00:13:01.049 --> 00:13:03.450 and then pulling coke off it. So I thought the 00:13:03.450 --> 00:13:05.889 coke was going missing at the start of this movie. 00:13:06.460 --> 00:13:07.980 But it turns out that by the time it's getting 00:13:07.980 --> 00:13:10.600 to Canada, it's being laced. Yeah. So what's 00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:12.940 the point of that scene? Like, were they? Nothing. 00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:15.940 I mean, nothing. Yeah. Like my main critique 00:13:15.940 --> 00:13:19.120 of this movie is you could easily cut every other 00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:21.320 scene and it would still be the same movie. There 00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:24.460 were a lot of obligatory scenes that didn't need 00:13:24.460 --> 00:13:28.820 to be here. And everything was just like 90 to 00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:32.360 180 seconds long. Yeah. Minute and a half, three 00:13:32.360 --> 00:13:33.700 minutes. That's all you're going to get from 00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:36.529 anything. Three minutes is a real slog. You're 00:13:36.529 --> 00:13:39.789 really hoping they switch it up soon. Yeah. None 00:13:39.789 --> 00:13:43.850 of this feels like it needs to be a focal point, 00:13:43.889 --> 00:13:49.009 except for Lawrence Fishburne whacking off at 00:13:49.009 --> 00:13:52.230 the five minute sex booth. Yeah. Well, also the 00:13:52.230 --> 00:13:56.659 whole like drug dream. sex party he has where 00:13:56.659 --> 00:13:58.519 it's just like his head in the foreground doing 00:13:58.519 --> 00:14:01.600 blow and just like lewd acts happening behind 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:06.500 him but but fully fully clothed lewd acts that 00:14:06.500 --> 00:14:08.179 was my favorite scene of the whole movie was 00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:11.559 my favorite it was very artfully done you know 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:14.200 it's like you were almost even there in the scene 00:14:14.200 --> 00:14:17.399 like with the strap on that's the one scene in 00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.460 this movie that i'm like maybe drugs are fun 00:14:19.460 --> 00:14:23.820 it makes people look fun yeah wait how many people 00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:29.120 how many people are in front of uh mr fish during 00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:32.259 that scene is it two people two people gang yeah 00:14:32.259 --> 00:14:34.919 gang banging sexing yeah yeah so that that's 00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:37.080 the poster right you're just putting me and sean 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.240 just bone down and he and he was lawrence fishburne 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:43.419 that's why nobody else can be lawrence fishburne 00:14:43.419 --> 00:14:47.019 because you already got it i understand you just 00:14:47.019 --> 00:14:50.200 gotta tell me man don't let me get my hopes up 00:14:50.200 --> 00:14:53.899 uh can we just be the two dead sex workers Yes, 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:57.000 exactly. How I feel inside. And we'll have, I 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:59.820 don't know, we'll have Lombardo be the snitch 00:14:59.820 --> 00:15:02.679 or something, just peeking in the window. Oh, 00:15:02.679 --> 00:15:04.500 God. Okay, what is that actor's name? I keep 00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:05.759 calling him the Hebrew Hammer because he was 00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:08.259 in the Hebrew Hammer. It's the only thing I know 00:15:08.259 --> 00:15:11.360 him from. I will tell you, I did not do a lot 00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:14.379 of good work on this one. I didn't even write 00:15:14.379 --> 00:15:17.700 the cast list. I know Leslie Bibb. I know Barry 00:15:17.700 --> 00:15:20.440 Pepper, which is a fucking tight name. That's 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:22.259 a good name. Delicious. Yeah, that's the boss. 00:15:23.019 --> 00:15:26.039 Adam Goldberg. Yeah, that's right. You got like 00:15:26.039 --> 00:15:29.840 Timu Luis Guzman later as like the Mexican drug 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:33.740 runner. Timu Luis Guzman with the hat. There's 00:15:33.740 --> 00:15:37.779 like a Brett Kavanaugh looking lawyer. Fuck, 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:41.340 man. That might be it. Like 10 too many characters 00:15:41.340 --> 00:15:44.460 in this movie. Way too much. But then what pissed 00:15:44.460 --> 00:15:46.259 me off is that not every character that they 00:15:46.259 --> 00:15:49.120 introduced got a name. Like that made me mad. 00:15:49.299 --> 00:15:52.779 Not even a cool the name. Yeah, there was like 00:15:52.779 --> 00:15:55.559 that red -headed Mexican drug guy who slices 00:15:55.559 --> 00:15:58.240 the guy's throat. It's like, no name. Come on, 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:02.039 man. He was the pig man. The pig man. The pig 00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:05.379 man. Yeah, barbacoa. Also, did you notice that 00:16:05.379 --> 00:16:07.779 after he like kills the guy, he like uses the 00:16:07.779 --> 00:16:11.019 same butcher knife to like eat? Yeah. That's 00:16:11.019 --> 00:16:14.120 badass. So yeah, Cage goes to Columbia to try 00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:17.340 and track down the issues with his drugs. Every 00:16:17.340 --> 00:16:19.059 stop of the way, he's like testing the cocaine 00:16:19.059 --> 00:16:21.480 to make sure it's still pure. One of the things 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.580 that I had a hard time with this is like he and 00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:27.019 Cole Hauser, the enforcer or whatever the fuck 00:16:27.019 --> 00:16:29.080 that guy's name was. Oh, the assassin. I think 00:16:29.080 --> 00:16:33.980 like they're just there at every fucking possible 00:16:33.980 --> 00:16:37.019 juncture. I don't understand how they are there 00:16:37.019 --> 00:16:40.399 every fucking time. How did Cage get to Death 00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:44.740 Valley? I don't know. I mean, they're following 00:16:44.740 --> 00:16:47.259 the shipment to make sure that it gets through 00:16:47.259 --> 00:16:49.879 clean light. Like, do you think if we looked 00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:52.340 in the rearview mirror of the truck or something, 00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:55.919 we would just see Nicolas Cage and like a fucking 00:16:55.919 --> 00:17:00.220 Yugo or whatever? Yeah, I mean, when the when 00:17:00.220 --> 00:17:04.180 the bus gets pulled over and they bribe a soldier 00:17:04.180 --> 00:17:06.519 to like overlook the bag with the drugs in it, 00:17:06.619 --> 00:17:09.960 like Nick Cage is in the car behind them. Yeah, 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:12.180 just immediately right there. Yeah. And then 00:17:12.180 --> 00:17:14.720 he's immediately in Death Valley the following 00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:17.170 split second. Well, no, there was the other one 00:17:17.170 --> 00:17:19.390 because he's also there with the fucking redheaded 00:17:19.390 --> 00:17:22.430 Mexican dude. Like he's there right after that. 00:17:22.569 --> 00:17:26.009 Yeah. Like every single time. Because they were 00:17:26.009 --> 00:17:29.109 following the mule who got the cocaine stolen 00:17:29.109 --> 00:17:32.450 in the club because he was trying to get gay 00:17:32.450 --> 00:17:36.269 sex. And then the coke got stolen. And he was 00:17:36.269 --> 00:17:38.990 like, oh, well. And then they went and retrieved 00:17:38.990 --> 00:17:42.529 it. And that's when he goes in the the twink 00:17:42.529 --> 00:17:46.180 gets, you know, a little bit. Which also, again, 00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.240 just Patriot pictures showing like playing their 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.359 cards. We're just like the only guy who actually 00:17:52.359 --> 00:17:55.500 gets killed in the whole drug run section is 00:17:55.500 --> 00:17:59.079 the guy who is attempting to have gay sex. Well, 00:17:59.140 --> 00:18:02.099 and some dirty cops, but. And Lawrence Fishburne. 00:18:02.220 --> 00:18:07.279 OK, but why wouldn't the cook test his cocaine? 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:10.960 in seattle where he lives what he needed to find 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:12.539 out well you wouldn't be able to you gotta figure 00:18:12.539 --> 00:18:15.720 out where that's the last person so you gotta 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:18.140 check it out you know it's every intersection 00:18:18.140 --> 00:18:20.839 all right but wouldn't it be nice to know like 00:18:20.839 --> 00:18:22.900 okay it's bad here okay he knows it he's got 00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:25.660 to go all the way back to the source first trace 00:18:25.660 --> 00:18:27.779 it all the way back i mean i guess the guy did 00:18:27.779 --> 00:18:30.099 say you don't want to like he can't have another 00:18:30.099 --> 00:18:33.259 batch go bad like you don't want to go backwards 00:18:33.259 --> 00:18:36.190 you know like You don't want to go from Seattle 00:18:36.190 --> 00:18:39.269 to Death Valley to Monterey to Columbia. You 00:18:39.269 --> 00:18:41.109 got to start from the source. I mean, you're 00:18:41.109 --> 00:18:43.309 risking more contamination contaminated runs 00:18:43.309 --> 00:18:46.930 that way. Are we? What are we doing? I mean, 00:18:46.930 --> 00:18:50.289 you're not because it doesn't end. I mean, you're 00:18:50.289 --> 00:18:52.849 not because it is getting contaminated in Seattle 00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:56.609 by Lawrence Fishburne. Right. But to the point 00:18:56.609 --> 00:19:00.009 of like, why not? I guess if you're checking 00:19:00.009 --> 00:19:02.170 it each time, it's like, OK, it's contaminated, 00:19:02.450 --> 00:19:05.130 contaminated. Well. You'd have to be checking 00:19:05.130 --> 00:19:09.410 new runs every time, not the same run. And then 00:19:09.410 --> 00:19:11.589 also you want to check the same run because you've 00:19:11.589 --> 00:19:13.450 got to find out where it's going bad in the run. 00:19:13.769 --> 00:19:15.529 Right. I'm saying if you worked it backwards, 00:19:15.690 --> 00:19:18.329 you couldn't do the same run or the same batch 00:19:18.329 --> 00:19:19.849 the whole time. It seems like it'd be a little 00:19:19.849 --> 00:19:22.289 quicker, but maybe not as fun of a movie, I guess. 00:19:22.410 --> 00:19:24.490 I mean, it's only quicker if it's at the end, 00:19:24.509 --> 00:19:27.789 which fortunately for Nick Cage, it was. And 00:19:27.789 --> 00:19:31.220 us. Let's be real. And it could have been a lot 00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:33.640 sooner for me. What really frustrates me about 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.200 this film is most of it, with the exception of 00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:41.920 the agent in charge. It's not acted terribly. 00:19:41.960 --> 00:19:45.220 It's not shot poorly. And for the most part, 00:19:45.339 --> 00:19:50.160 I was not horribly upset with this film. Until 00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:52.059 we got to the end, but we're back at the beginning, 00:19:52.140 --> 00:19:53.740 but we're not right back at the beginning because 00:19:53.740 --> 00:19:55.519 there was a shot from later in the film that 00:19:55.519 --> 00:19:57.259 came before that at the beginning of the film. 00:19:57.960 --> 00:20:01.140 The setting on fire part. Yeah, because then 00:20:01.140 --> 00:20:03.400 after that, it cuts to Lawrence Fishburne handing 00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:07.279 the Sinead O 'Connor looking lady and her friend 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:11.640 the cocaine in the bar. And then we go back to 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:14.119 the start of the film. But then at the end of 00:20:14.119 --> 00:20:17.400 it, we see the same two women getting help, getting 00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:21.299 the cocaine in the same bar by Lawrence Fishburne. 00:20:21.380 --> 00:20:24.519 And then he gets taken to Columbia to be murdered. 00:20:24.779 --> 00:20:28.359 So it's like. I know what the movie is going 00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:30.720 for, which is just like it's an endless cycle 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:32.200 no matter what. So it doesn't matter if it's 00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:35.259 the same person or a different person. But structurally, 00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:38.019 it's stupid and I hate it. Yeah, that's fair. 00:20:38.440 --> 00:20:42.119 That is like the whole general summary purpose 00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:44.180 of the movie, which I do really like. They're 00:20:44.180 --> 00:20:48.440 like, it doesn't matter who many men you kill, 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:52.779 how many mules or bosses or special agents you 00:20:52.779 --> 00:20:55.690 kill. It never ends. Right. And they kept on 00:20:55.690 --> 00:20:57.329 saying that throughout the whole movie. When 00:20:57.329 --> 00:20:59.769 does it end? When does it end? Like that's the 00:20:59.769 --> 00:21:02.470 whole thing. It never ends. People are coke heads. 00:21:02.650 --> 00:21:05.230 It will never end. It'll never stop. So I thought 00:21:05.230 --> 00:21:08.970 that was a really happy ending. Everyone does 00:21:08.970 --> 00:21:11.430 get a happy ending. Everyone was happy that it 00:21:11.430 --> 00:21:17.549 ended. Yeah, it's really just a very heavy handed, 00:21:17.630 --> 00:21:21.430 like don't get involved in drugs, kids kind of 00:21:21.430 --> 00:21:24.210 thing like. unless you want to like bang two 00:21:24.210 --> 00:21:26.789 strippers with the strap on and have a really 00:21:26.789 --> 00:21:29.230 good night then hey i mean that's pretty cool 00:21:29.230 --> 00:21:32.630 let's do some some ladies just gently stroking 00:21:32.630 --> 00:21:37.029 each other like don't get me wrong touching i'm 00:21:37.029 --> 00:21:41.650 not saying don't do drugs drugs are cool kids 00:21:41.650 --> 00:21:47.650 all the children yeah it's probably more than 00:21:47.650 --> 00:21:50.920 we think honestly probably as drugs go cocaine 00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:54.740 is okay and very expensive so there are better 00:21:54.740 --> 00:21:57.920 ones just saying you're probably not going to 00:21:57.920 --> 00:22:01.019 do a bunch of coke kids so yeah my biggest note 00:22:01.019 --> 00:22:03.539 at this point in the movie was how are there 00:22:03.539 --> 00:22:06.779 40 minutes left in this uh and then oh back to 00:22:06.779 --> 00:22:10.880 torture porn so leslie big special agent torture 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:13.539 porn that i was not expecting she doesn't seem 00:22:13.539 --> 00:22:18.000 the type she doesn't she's a terrible actor for 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:22.140 someone else no i think she is a fed i think 00:22:22.140 --> 00:22:25.440 she's a fed and she's all like oh my sister died 00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:28.660 from drugs and you know i hate and we're gonna 00:22:28.660 --> 00:22:31.140 clean up the street but again like if she gets 00:22:31.140 --> 00:22:33.960 that random call from no one we ever learn about 00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:36.279 so i'm like someone else is pulling the strings 00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:39.819 i just thought that was mustache but who's mustache 00:22:39.819 --> 00:22:42.769 other than another fed They never give us his 00:22:42.769 --> 00:22:45.950 name. He's just the mustache. Yeah, there was 00:22:45.950 --> 00:22:48.069 only one time like there was one time when Lawrence 00:22:48.069 --> 00:22:51.009 Fishburne is leaving or going back to the hotel 00:22:51.009 --> 00:22:55.049 after in Canada after he killed Nick Cage. Spoilers. 00:22:56.049 --> 00:22:57.990 Lawrence Fishburne like throws Nick Cage off 00:22:57.990 --> 00:23:00.549 a cliff to like save his bacon at the end. And 00:23:00.549 --> 00:23:02.890 then there's just some random woman in the hotel 00:23:02.890 --> 00:23:05.269 who's just like staring at him for a second. 00:23:05.769 --> 00:23:09.720 And unless you're paying attention to it. When 00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:12.579 the agent in charge shows up at the boss's place 00:23:12.579 --> 00:23:15.960 later, it's like he was tailed to your to your 00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:19.759 office. Like, OK, so that was a tale. But that 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:22.680 wasn't clear based on just someone being in and 00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:25.960 being in a hotel bar. So these are the things 00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:28.559 that look better in a script than they do in 00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:30.460 like the final cut of the movie. You know, they 00:23:30.460 --> 00:23:34.319 make so much more sense in pre than post. You 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:36.299 do have to be paying attention. And honestly, 00:23:36.460 --> 00:23:38.819 this isn't a movie that. is really that easy 00:23:38.819 --> 00:23:41.799 or important to do so with. So much like sex. 00:23:42.819 --> 00:23:46.480 I was going to say much like sex with two sex 00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:49.019 workers on a bunch of cocaine. Sounds a lot better 00:23:49.019 --> 00:23:53.619 pre than post. Well, coke with fent and heroin. 00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:58.380 Yeah. I'm just cutting it with fentanyl and heroin. 00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:01.339 It's easy. You just got to get that cut right. 00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:05.180 No, my feeling on this movie as I got kind of 00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:07.910 like halfway through this was like, I, I didn't 00:24:07.910 --> 00:24:09.690 want to keep watching it, but I also managed 00:24:09.690 --> 00:24:12.349 to like completely turn my brain off. And I was 00:24:12.349 --> 00:24:15.690 like, I am going for a ride. And I had much more 00:24:15.690 --> 00:24:17.869 fun with it at that point. I was like, this is 00:24:17.869 --> 00:24:21.470 a C minus D plus. And that's how I was in high 00:24:21.470 --> 00:24:25.150 school. Totally OK. Did you like those CGI flames 00:24:25.150 --> 00:24:27.589 at the end? Like that was like, oh, yeah, I did 00:24:27.589 --> 00:24:32.109 copy the gif and paste it on your picture of 00:24:32.109 --> 00:24:36.039 yourself. You know, it was exactly. So my issue 00:24:36.039 --> 00:24:38.700 with that whole scene is that takes place within 00:24:38.700 --> 00:24:43.559 48 to 72 hours after Nick Cage is thrown off 00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:47.099 a cliff. But he's there with his broken leg. 00:24:47.500 --> 00:24:51.920 He's got the broken leg. He's like, I have ability 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:55.960 to appear instantly anywhere I choose. So, again, 00:24:56.180 --> 00:24:58.000 this is one of those as proven throughout the 00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:00.230 whole movie. You're right. this is one of these 00:25:00.230 --> 00:25:03.789 very noodley sean has a very specific type of 00:25:03.789 --> 00:25:07.549 autism uh complaints nicholas cage is flung from 00:25:07.549 --> 00:25:10.970 the cliff facing facing the cliff thrown away 00:25:10.970 --> 00:25:13.769 from it so falling backwards but when we find 00:25:13.769 --> 00:25:16.369 out he survived his back and head are facing 00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:20.549 towards the clip so he did like he did a flip 00:25:20.549 --> 00:25:22.849 and a turn yeah he turned around he did like 00:25:22.849 --> 00:25:26.220 a he did like a it's like a pancake flip it wasn't 00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:28.880 he was gonna fall in the water and be fine but 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:32.019 he actually landed on the ground and was fine 00:25:32.019 --> 00:25:38.720 like oh there was snow hard pack yeah i don't 00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:40.740 know i don't give a shit i told you my brain 00:25:40.740 --> 00:25:44.019 was off at this point i also did appreciate when 00:25:44.019 --> 00:25:48.039 um the snitch left his uh was texting with the 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:50.680 feds left his phone in the car he had the feds 00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:56.150 uh ringtone set to quacking yeah which confused 00:25:56.150 --> 00:25:58.809 me because that's also the text message uh the 00:25:58.809 --> 00:26:01.289 it confused me for a moment because that's the 00:26:01.289 --> 00:26:04.009 ringtone i have set to my ex spouse on my phone 00:26:04.009 --> 00:26:07.549 you're like oh shit oh so i'm like oh shit meredith 00:26:07.549 --> 00:26:11.349 needs something ah they're calling fuck yeah 00:26:11.349 --> 00:26:14.410 i did like the whole scene where nick cage gets 00:26:14.410 --> 00:26:18.390 wise to the snitch being the snitch all caps 00:26:18.390 --> 00:26:22.670 and you know playing it out it's like oh you 00:26:22.670 --> 00:26:26.890 you lost your your gum is that what you it was 00:26:26.890 --> 00:26:30.789 gum gum you're missing yes that was cute but 00:26:30.789 --> 00:26:34.549 why didn't he get wise to the man being the snitch 00:26:34.549 --> 00:26:38.490 also well i think he did know at that point okay 00:26:38.490 --> 00:26:40.269 i think he figured it out at that point i think 00:26:40.269 --> 00:26:42.150 he knew that all of it was tied together who 00:26:42.150 --> 00:26:46.380 gives him the gun that oh yeah He's like, I like 00:26:46.380 --> 00:26:48.559 I've solved half the problem. So I'm like, OK, 00:26:48.619 --> 00:26:50.619 so you're going to kill Fishburne. And then it's 00:26:50.619 --> 00:26:53.720 like, do me now and just like move on. He still 00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:56.599 invites him on this like a thousand mile trek 00:26:56.599 --> 00:26:59.299 in snowshoes across the Canadian border and is 00:26:59.299 --> 00:27:01.140 like, this will be fun. This will be a fun jog. 00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:04.079 I was real mad when we saw the snowmobiles for 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:05.359 the first time because you get a quick shot of 00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:07.579 them on the back of a Jeep. And I was really 00:27:07.579 --> 00:27:11.160 hoping for motorcycles. Oh, yeah, that would 00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:14.680 have been nice. I mean, we got like. 10 seconds 00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:16.859 of snowmobile and then they just hid them under 00:27:16.859 --> 00:27:19.140 a bush and that was the end of that i was like 00:27:19.140 --> 00:27:21.319 finally we've got like a james bond movie here 00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:25.660 snowmobiles yeah no no we're done i i watched 00:27:25.660 --> 00:27:29.819 this a second time at like 2 .5 speed oh my style 00:27:29.819 --> 00:27:32.779 much better much better watch um but it did occur 00:27:32.779 --> 00:27:36.599 to me every scene just fly by like it was a vine 00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:40.180 or something yeah six seconds of bullshit and 00:27:40.180 --> 00:27:42.799 then it just next amazing next guy it occurred 00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.059 to me who's collecting those snowmobiles at the 00:27:45.059 --> 00:27:48.279 canadian border i mean it's canada like yeah 00:27:48.279 --> 00:27:51.200 somebody's gonna take them the reason the cocaine 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.079 is so expensive at the end of that trek is because 00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:56.059 one all the people they have to pay off and then 00:27:56.059 --> 00:27:58.200 they have to keep buying two new snowmobiles 00:27:58.200 --> 00:28:03.339 per run funeral expenses are kind of a lot so 00:28:03.339 --> 00:28:06.140 okay you touched on something that really bugged 00:28:06.140 --> 00:28:07.779 me this whole time so like they show you the 00:28:07.779 --> 00:28:10.839 the price per kilo As it goes up, you know, they 00:28:10.839 --> 00:28:13.299 get it from the guy in Colombia and it's like 00:28:13.299 --> 00:28:17.099 a thousand or fourteen hundred K for a kilo or 00:28:17.099 --> 00:28:19.720 whatever. Yeah. And then by the end of it, it's 00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:23.220 thirty four thousand. Yeah. Price per kilo. And 00:28:23.220 --> 00:28:26.359 there are 20 bricks that they delivered to the 00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:28.740 boss. That's six hundred and eighty thousand 00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:31.359 dollars. Like this is not worth the fucking effort. 00:28:32.539 --> 00:28:36.480 How many people died? Like six? I mean, I guess. 00:28:37.390 --> 00:28:39.170 I guess that's worth the effort if you're the 00:28:39.170 --> 00:28:42.089 boss and you're just making six hundred thousand 00:28:42.089 --> 00:28:44.890 dollars. Yeah, I mean, I suppose. I mean, they're 00:28:44.890 --> 00:28:46.430 selling it on the street for more than that, 00:28:46.450 --> 00:28:48.609 certainly. But like, it just doesn't feel like 00:28:48.609 --> 00:28:51.069 it's worth it at all. It seems like a lot of 00:28:51.069 --> 00:28:53.329 a lot of effort when you have a private jet. 00:28:54.130 --> 00:28:57.029 Yeah. One of the other things that bugged me 00:28:57.029 --> 00:28:59.950 is when Larry Fish and Nick Cage are wandering 00:28:59.950 --> 00:29:02.329 through the fucking Canadian wilderness or whatever, 00:29:02.470 --> 00:29:06.589 and Larry falls into the water for a second. 00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:10.259 and loses his pack like i don't know how that 00:29:10.259 --> 00:29:13.319 happened to slide off of both shoulders but he 00:29:13.319 --> 00:29:16.160 loses his pack and then they're like fuck we 00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:18.140 gotta find that pack but instead of following 00:29:18.140 --> 00:29:21.000 the river they like go up into the mountains 00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:24.440 like what the what and then he still somehow 00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:27.420 happens to find it super luckily or he finds 00:29:27.420 --> 00:29:31.900 on the river yep it was just lying there really 00:29:31.900 --> 00:29:35.019 convenient yeah i don't know that really bugged 00:29:35.019 --> 00:29:38.819 me A little too plot convenient for me. As I've 00:29:38.819 --> 00:29:42.140 gotten older, I've really wished that my forest 00:29:42.140 --> 00:29:46.660 package finds were more impressive. Porn's just 00:29:46.660 --> 00:29:50.559 not cutting it anymore. I don't need that book 00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:54.660 of Dianetics. I just want a kilo of cocaine. 00:29:55.140 --> 00:29:58.599 I'll find a geocache with a sticker and a plastic 00:29:58.599 --> 00:30:01.140 dinosaur in it, but definitely not 20 kilos of 00:30:01.140 --> 00:30:04.299 coke. The dinosaur's been chewed on. What was 00:30:04.299 --> 00:30:07.500 your first wild porn find? My first wild porn 00:30:07.500 --> 00:30:13.599 find? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like a black bag 00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:17.180 that had been buried. That's how I thought it 00:30:17.180 --> 00:30:20.519 was going. A hustler, you know? Nice. For real. 00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.400 Me and my friends were like, oh, my God. Wow. 00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:26.900 Buried treasure. Yeah. Actual. He's also a hustler. 00:30:26.940 --> 00:30:30.640 My friend found in the woods a random hustler. 00:30:31.259 --> 00:30:33.890 That is not. how you want to experience porn 00:30:33.890 --> 00:30:36.109 for the first time do we all have this story 00:30:36.109 --> 00:30:40.069 this is my first time sharing this there's there's 00:30:40.069 --> 00:30:43.009 a weird like it's it's generational too because 00:30:43.009 --> 00:30:46.130 like kids nowadays don't have this you know but 00:30:46.130 --> 00:30:48.450 like there is a window of time because we don't 00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:52.869 have physical media porn right well we don't 00:30:52.869 --> 00:30:56.990 have porn these days kids nowadays at six years 00:30:56.990 --> 00:30:59.049 old are whacking off but there's this window 00:30:59.049 --> 00:31:02.009 of time that like People really did. Well, yeah, 00:31:02.089 --> 00:31:04.230 exactly. Was that an axolotl? What was that? 00:31:05.470 --> 00:31:09.470 Oh, that was Rosie. Yeah. No, that's just Rosie 00:31:09.470 --> 00:31:12.130 screaming into the void. Oh, yeah. OK, that's 00:31:12.130 --> 00:31:14.089 better. The kids love her. But what I meant was 00:31:14.089 --> 00:31:16.029 like, no, kids just kids have cell phones now. 00:31:16.069 --> 00:31:18.309 They have porn 24 -7. We used to have to go into 00:31:18.309 --> 00:31:21.650 the woods and find it. Yeah, dig. You just have 00:31:21.650 --> 00:31:23.849 to hope you got lucky and found a bag. Under 00:31:23.849 --> 00:31:26.450 arbitrary logs for our buried treasure. I mean, 00:31:26.450 --> 00:31:29.309 I just stole my dad's. All other porn was bonus 00:31:29.309 --> 00:31:32.180 porn. Hey, some of us didn't grow up with father's 00:31:32.180 --> 00:31:34.799 neck. Yep. Oh, yeah. Shove it in your face again. 00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:38.599 I was raised with class, too. I'm going to tell 00:31:38.599 --> 00:31:40.599 you right now, I'm a penthouse guy. He was a 00:31:40.599 --> 00:31:43.759 playboy? Oh, penthouse. Not even that much porn 00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:46.740 in that. Playboy's for cowards. No, Playboy's 00:31:46.740 --> 00:31:50.019 the shit. Playboy's garbage. That is the worst 00:31:50.019 --> 00:31:52.759 one. I mean, Playboy, I feel like if you're going 00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:55.640 to discover random porn in the woods, Playboy 00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:59.279 is the safe bet. when you're like nine and you 00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:01.980 get like oh yeah it doesn't like totally break 00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:04.500 your brain yeah no when you get like when you 00:32:04.500 --> 00:32:07.440 get full -on like prolapsed like uh fucking uh 00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:11.579 shit in um in a hustler like that's not that's 00:32:11.579 --> 00:32:13.500 not how you want to enter the world of like sexual 00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:17.480 maturity yeah welcome to pink socks the quality 00:32:17.480 --> 00:32:20.200 of person that's reflected in who is leaving 00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:24.880 porno out in the woods it's exactly like level 00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:26.640 with the hustler crowd it's like if you're buying 00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:30.339 playboy you're disposing of it responsibly if 00:32:30.339 --> 00:32:32.579 you're buying hustler it's just like i'm done 00:32:32.579 --> 00:32:35.380 with this then you just like you don't bury your 00:32:35.380 --> 00:32:38.059 penthouse okay i should have put in a gold box 00:32:38.059 --> 00:32:40.160 i should have been looking by train tracks like 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:43.140 normal like normal kids yeah you just toss it 00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:46.299 on the ground and like kick some sod over it 00:32:46.299 --> 00:32:49.539 and you're like oh fuck you take that my shame 00:32:49.539 --> 00:32:56.319 yeah I don't have mom issues. I'm out. We barely 00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:58.319 touched on the movie, much like this movie. There's 00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:00.180 not that much actually to talk about in the movie. 00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:05.000 It all boils down to just he looks for what's 00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:11.000 wrong, finds it at the end. I did enjoy watching 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:14.819 the steps of getting the cocaine through Central 00:33:14.819 --> 00:33:21.789 America. I did enjoy that ride. yeah that was 00:33:21.789 --> 00:33:24.589 cool again this is patriot pictures whole deal 00:33:24.589 --> 00:33:27.750 about like you know the world is scum let's all 00:33:27.750 --> 00:33:32.049 be good you know christian white people um and 00:33:32.049 --> 00:33:35.730 just everything's everything's bad uh even at 00:33:35.730 --> 00:33:39.009 the end you know nick cage is dead um lawrence 00:33:39.009 --> 00:33:42.529 fishburne's dead but uh the drug run is still 00:33:42.529 --> 00:33:46.779 going i hated that ending I love Nick Cage and 00:33:46.779 --> 00:33:49.200 I want him to win. I want him to be the champion. 00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:51.279 He's the champion of the podcast. He's the champion 00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:53.140 of the universe. He's the champion of all of 00:33:53.140 --> 00:33:56.559 our hearts. Why did Leslie Bibb be like, this 00:33:56.559 --> 00:34:01.079 is for my sister, the mother of the child. The 00:34:01.079 --> 00:34:03.920 mother. And like, she's all like, I got to get 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:06.000 this guy for double homicide. Well, now you got 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:10.739 a homicide, bitch. Like, come on. Also, is that 00:34:10.739 --> 00:34:14.380 a double homicide? So, okay. It was the rewatch 00:34:14.380 --> 00:34:17.219 where I picked up where I'm like the sex workers 00:34:17.219 --> 00:34:20.480 were killed. So that wasn't intentional. There 00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:24.440 was no premeditation thinking manslaughter. Yeah, 00:34:24.579 --> 00:34:26.800 I mean, they definitely gave drugs that were 00:34:26.800 --> 00:34:30.559 fucked up. Yeah, but homicide is specific premeditated 00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.019 murder. Yeah, that's true. I think you're getting 00:34:34.019 --> 00:34:35.900 into the weeds on this that you don't need to. 00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:39.039 That's that's my bit in this whole podcast, Peter. 00:34:39.139 --> 00:34:42.099 Yeah, that's true. You're right. I'm in the weeds. 00:34:43.469 --> 00:34:45.250 He didn't have to die. Did you see what I put 00:34:45.250 --> 00:34:49.570 in chat? I'm so unused to looking at this thing. 00:34:49.630 --> 00:34:54.949 Hold on. I don't want to switch channels. Chocolate 00:34:54.949 --> 00:35:00.389 City 3. Oh my goodness. I want to see it so bad 00:35:00.389 --> 00:35:03.570 now. Is it the general? It's not the most muscular 00:35:03.570 --> 00:35:07.090 bass. No, it's just the chat for this. Chocolate 00:35:07.090 --> 00:35:10.880 City 2 Vegas is like. Half white guys. It's half 00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:12.679 white guys. There's a dance off. There's a strip. 00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:15.280 I think there's a dance off. Yeah. We lost Nick 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:18.940 because he tried to look at the soft core. He 00:35:18.940 --> 00:35:23.579 was like Chocolate City 3. Wow. He got too excited. 00:35:23.719 --> 00:35:26.260 I will be burying my hustler in the woods. Give 00:35:26.260 --> 00:35:29.159 me just one moment. Yeah. Pardon me. Pardon me. 00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:35.980 Oh, yeah. Sorry. I went looking for that picture 00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:41.679 of the chocolate brain or whatever. It's not 00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:44.760 my job to work Discord. I'm an in -person recorder. 00:35:45.619 --> 00:35:50.539 That's true. You're in -person talent, for sure. 00:35:51.400 --> 00:35:53.920 Although, if I were you, I would hide my hustlers 00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:56.059 in the giant fake spider at the end of your block. 00:35:57.000 --> 00:35:59.880 No, no. Too many people like that thing. It's 00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:02.000 always crowded. I would never be able to get 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:05.679 it cleanly. I feel like the producer has a great 00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:08.619 spot for hiding his hustlers in this box labeled 00:36:08.619 --> 00:36:12.099 crap. No one's going to look there. Seriously, 00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:15.360 Peter, where are you? Don't don't ask questions. 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.119 People are going to look in that box and they're 00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:19.599 going to pull out a DVD version of what's this 00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:21.679 movie called? Running with the Devil. Running 00:36:21.679 --> 00:36:23.440 with the Devil. I should have expected. No, it'll 00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:26.500 be it'll be the weird VHS that they managed to 00:36:26.500 --> 00:36:30.340 press in 19 in 2019 just because it belongs on 00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:35.360 a VHS. on now to own on videocassette yeah i'll 00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:37.780 tell you guys about uh the weird fucking like 00:36:37.780 --> 00:36:41.659 uh it's the hotel on o street it's this weird 00:36:41.659 --> 00:36:46.500 like museum in dc where it's like a bunch of 00:36:46.500 --> 00:36:49.800 townhouses that were are interconnected by secret 00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:55.190 doors like the g oh yeah men's house um in the 00:36:55.190 --> 00:36:57.769 60s john lennon lived there for a while rosa 00:36:57.769 --> 00:37:00.469 parks lived there um it's now owned by a crazy 00:37:00.469 --> 00:37:03.030 hoarder who like pitches it as a museum that 00:37:03.030 --> 00:37:04.809 you can go and tour and everything's on sale 00:37:04.809 --> 00:37:07.090 and it's just boxes that say crap on them yes 00:37:07.090 --> 00:37:09.510 because no you know what you can find there not 00:37:09.510 --> 00:37:16.409 priced to move lost season four on dvd um full 00:37:16.409 --> 00:37:22.800 screen oh whoa weird For $60. This film has been 00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:24.659 modified from its original version to fit your 00:37:24.659 --> 00:37:27.940 TV screen. That's not worth it. That's a terrible 00:37:27.940 --> 00:37:31.619 deal. I know. I'm actually more surprised that 00:37:31.619 --> 00:37:36.559 Lost was released not on full screen. Yeah, that 00:37:36.559 --> 00:37:40.119 there was an option? Yeah, I figured Lost was 00:37:40.119 --> 00:37:44.980 still like locked into that aspect ratio. Not 00:37:44.980 --> 00:37:50.699 free to roam across your TV. all right so let's 00:37:50.699 --> 00:37:53.079 see who are your favorite characters from this 00:37:53.079 --> 00:37:55.159 and you can also make up fake names for the ones 00:37:55.159 --> 00:37:58.940 yeah i liked i liked uh i liked a guy with hat 00:37:58.940 --> 00:38:02.219 yeah like fat louise guzman with hat yeah that 00:38:02.219 --> 00:38:05.019 guy that guy was cool and he didn't die he fucked 00:38:05.019 --> 00:38:07.960 and he didn't die i mean he's gonna die of something 00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:10.559 he's out there kissing sex workers he's a success 00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:13.599 story of this movie he is probably the best success 00:38:13.599 --> 00:38:15.380 story he was good he put all the bricks where 00:38:15.380 --> 00:38:18.380 they belonged he didn't do anything to him that 00:38:18.380 --> 00:38:20.539 sex worker because she's doing lines while getting 00:38:20.539 --> 00:38:23.440 railed rails for rails i liked that scene also 00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:27.179 and that's cocaine sex nobody's coming you're 00:38:27.179 --> 00:38:30.920 just pushing rope nice yeah that's cool soft 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:34.829 taffy i was wondering how uh how the man was 00:38:34.829 --> 00:38:37.389 able to do two hookers all night long on coke 00:38:37.389 --> 00:38:39.530 but then she had a strap on so that answers that 00:38:39.530 --> 00:38:42.110 question i also like none of them took off their 00:38:42.110 --> 00:38:44.190 clothes so i think they just humped each other 00:38:44.190 --> 00:38:47.210 all night long and just were like i'm horny this 00:38:47.210 --> 00:38:52.329 is hot oh the tension oh yeah exactly it's all 00:38:52.329 --> 00:38:57.010 that possibility that's true soft kissing a little 00:38:57.010 --> 00:39:01.190 bit of nip that's all you need baby I've never 00:39:01.190 --> 00:39:05.789 been to a porn theater. Oh, really? No, never. 00:39:05.869 --> 00:39:08.150 Never done it for me. Well, you don't have to 00:39:08.150 --> 00:39:11.070 go very far. There is. No, I don't. Not in Portland. 00:39:11.230 --> 00:39:14.650 Right there. Is there is there a squeegee in 00:39:14.650 --> 00:39:16.269 that room? Like, are you expected to clean up 00:39:16.269 --> 00:39:18.110 your own glass or what's the deal? No, they got 00:39:18.110 --> 00:39:20.969 a guy for that. Don't you worry about it. Don't 00:39:20.969 --> 00:39:25.909 be such a fucking plebeian, Sean. Clean up your 00:39:25.909 --> 00:39:30.300 own mess. No. That just made me a good Catholic 00:39:30.300 --> 00:39:34.340 boy. Gross. I paid a dollar to watch that window 00:39:34.340 --> 00:39:38.019 slide up. I'm not cleaning up my mess. You should 00:39:38.019 --> 00:39:40.940 try one sometime. It's a terrible experience. 00:39:41.460 --> 00:39:46.059 It looks like it would smell. That's the very 00:39:46.059 --> 00:39:48.480 least you're worried. And you know what? It smells 00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:53.599 like it looks too, so you're lucky. Alright, 00:39:53.659 --> 00:39:58.000 to Peter's question. in order favorite characters 00:39:58.000 --> 00:40:04.079 the uh arcade hookers i like that i'm gonna lump 00:40:04.079 --> 00:40:06.719 them in together um i don't think they had enough 00:40:06.719 --> 00:40:10.300 representation on their own so two two for one 00:40:10.300 --> 00:40:13.679 louise guzman and then lawrence fishburne's oh 00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:17.500 face yeah those are all good yeah that's all 00:40:17.500 --> 00:40:20.769 i need that's the whole movie to me I had a weird 00:40:20.769 --> 00:40:23.170 soft spot for the mustache. The other agent, 00:40:23.250 --> 00:40:27.769 like I feel like the whole movie, I was like, 00:40:27.829 --> 00:40:29.489 there's more to him. Like he's going to be the 00:40:29.489 --> 00:40:31.670 secret big boss or something. It's like, nope, 00:40:31.809 --> 00:40:35.530 nothing at all. We initially see him there playing 00:40:35.530 --> 00:40:40.849 cards with Mexican doctor from Star Trek Voyager. 00:40:41.730 --> 00:40:46.559 He looked very similar. Yeah. I swear I recognize 00:40:46.559 --> 00:40:49.179 whoever that actor is, but I'm sure he's no one. 00:40:49.380 --> 00:40:51.539 But I was just like, that guy has a mustache. 00:40:52.380 --> 00:40:57.739 I'm going to see him again. They spent money 00:40:57.739 --> 00:41:00.960 on his makeup. When we see him again, cracking 00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:05.579 a hobbled Nicolas Cage in the airport, he pulls 00:41:05.579 --> 00:41:08.719 out a comb at one point, just like he's like, 00:41:08.780 --> 00:41:10.699 I'm a normal person doing a normal person thing. 00:41:11.179 --> 00:41:13.960 He comes his mustache. That's the first thing 00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:17.500 he comes. yeah well yeah because it's sick as 00:41:17.500 --> 00:41:21.519 hell it also feels really good when you comb 00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:25.320 facial hair i agree also uh something that stood 00:41:25.320 --> 00:41:27.960 out to me when they're in columbia after nick 00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:30.840 cage makes the first check before he gets back 00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:33.219 on the plane and he's in the airport the restaurant 00:41:33.219 --> 00:41:36.099 behind him is just called fish place yeah where 00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:38.480 you can just buy a bottle of tequila and then 00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:42.050 leave most of it yes But I guess when you got 00:41:42.050 --> 00:41:44.530 that sweet cocaine money, it doesn't matter. 00:41:44.789 --> 00:41:47.769 Oh, when headed to Louise's mom, he like shows 00:41:47.769 --> 00:41:50.809 up and after his run, he shows up in the strip 00:41:50.809 --> 00:41:53.989 club and he buys the bottle of tequila. And then 00:41:53.989 --> 00:41:57.710 he just throws like a wad of cash on the table 00:41:57.710 --> 00:41:59.650 in front of the stripper. I'm like, you blew 00:41:59.650 --> 00:42:01.329 your load, my dude. You got it. You got to tease 00:42:01.329 --> 00:42:03.730 that shit out. Hey, she went home with him and 00:42:03.730 --> 00:42:05.489 then made out with him at the motel. But that 00:42:05.489 --> 00:42:08.989 blinds wide open, the blinds wide open. And then 00:42:08.989 --> 00:42:12.019 the bed is just like. peeking in going oh there's 00:42:12.019 --> 00:42:14.659 my guy oh no that was fishburn okay also yeah 00:42:14.659 --> 00:42:16.460 when fish when the fed shows up at fishburn's 00:42:16.460 --> 00:42:19.139 place when he's in the motel with the with the 00:42:19.139 --> 00:42:22.239 prostitute and like the camera just pans over 00:42:22.239 --> 00:42:26.619 from the door that was just opened to the open 00:42:26.619 --> 00:42:30.119 window where the blinds are wide open and all 00:42:30.119 --> 00:42:32.960 the rails inside and all the railing inside and 00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:35.769 she's just like you guys i got him there's so 00:42:35.769 --> 00:42:38.429 many things about this movie that sounds so much 00:42:38.429 --> 00:42:41.710 cooler than i expected than it is yeah yeah i 00:42:41.710 --> 00:42:43.610 know right when we talk about it it sounds like 00:42:43.610 --> 00:42:47.150 not bad but it's pretty bad again like this is 00:42:47.150 --> 00:42:49.690 what annoys me like peter you said this in the 00:42:49.690 --> 00:42:52.989 initial text like i like i don't like it but 00:42:52.989 --> 00:42:55.570 i don't understand why it's like panned so hard 00:42:55.570 --> 00:43:00.769 because like again fishburne and cage who arguably 00:43:00.769 --> 00:43:03.719 get the most screen time are fine in this film 00:43:03.719 --> 00:43:07.380 like nobody is so terrible that this movie is 00:43:07.380 --> 00:43:12.659 just like so bad like it's a serviceable film 00:43:12.659 --> 00:43:15.559 it's just not good yeah i think it's just the 00:43:15.559 --> 00:43:18.699 structure it suffers from the way it jumps scenes 00:43:18.699 --> 00:43:21.920 so much nothing is ever like there's no tension 00:43:21.920 --> 00:43:24.079 ever it's just because everything's just over 00:43:24.079 --> 00:43:27.679 yeah it's like oh uh -oh we're in a pickle okay 00:43:28.619 --> 00:43:30.980 yeah it's it's like trying to be crash or something 00:43:30.980 --> 00:43:33.119 where everything threads together and it just 00:43:33.119 --> 00:43:35.880 doesn't i mean like the guy who the guy in his 00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:38.019 family who are making the cocaine you're like 00:43:38.019 --> 00:43:40.179 oh what's gonna happen with them i was so wholesome 00:43:40.179 --> 00:43:43.079 yeah that was a wholesome family moment it was 00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:47.079 a wholesome family moment what was that uh spider 00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:50.880 movie where nick cage was la rania or some shit 00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:55.010 like that and it was like full like cyclical 00:43:55.010 --> 00:43:58.369 shit like this again but actually did it well 00:43:58.369 --> 00:44:03.230 or weller yeah it did it robocop peter weller 00:44:03.230 --> 00:44:07.849 like we both got the same joke we've been doing 00:44:07.849 --> 00:44:10.869 this too long i'll buy that for a dollar we only 00:44:10.869 --> 00:44:14.050 have two interests and it's nicholas cage and 00:44:14.050 --> 00:44:16.090 robocop so it's pretty easy to figure out where 00:44:16.090 --> 00:44:17.809 either of us are going to go with any joke we 00:44:17.809 --> 00:44:20.739 both do love us some robert koppman I'm in my 00:44:20.739 --> 00:44:24.739 room with my RoboCop light switch plate. It looks 00:44:24.739 --> 00:44:27.280 like RoboCop pops a boner when you turn it on. 00:44:27.739 --> 00:44:30.760 I was going to say, it's his dick, right? Yeah, 00:44:30.760 --> 00:44:35.039 it's right there. He's in a good leg up pose. 00:44:37.300 --> 00:44:40.820 You know what? Let's do a Weller podcast next. 00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:45.139 We'll be done in six months. It's very short. 00:44:45.539 --> 00:44:49.619 You just do RoboCop. 12 different episodes over 00:44:49.619 --> 00:44:52.760 and over again. Oh, God. Buckaroo Banzai. That's 00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:54.880 three. Two Robocops, Buckaroo Banzai. That's 00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:57.230 a good movie. yeah actually i did really like 00:44:57.230 --> 00:44:59.369 the part at the quite at the very end where they 00:44:59.369 --> 00:45:02.750 cut off lawrence fishburne's tattoos and feed 00:45:02.750 --> 00:45:05.389 it to the dog off his arms i thought that was 00:45:05.389 --> 00:45:08.010 a particularly gruesome detail that was actually 00:45:08.010 --> 00:45:10.469 really gross kindred pointed that out to me i 00:45:10.469 --> 00:45:11.769 just thought they were i thought that guy was 00:45:11.769 --> 00:45:14.389 being a dick but no he uh he was like covering 00:45:14.389 --> 00:45:16.809 up evidence even though they set his whole body 00:45:16.809 --> 00:45:18.869 on fire i don't see the point of it other than 00:45:18.869 --> 00:45:21.769 that i mean yeah i guess there's a chance that 00:45:21.769 --> 00:45:25.679 some of it wouldn't have burnt but yeah oh just 00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:28.760 his anchor tattoo survived we know who's this 00:45:28.760 --> 00:45:31.480 is oh that's that the one guy with an anchor 00:45:31.480 --> 00:45:34.860 tattoo that's the man oh no my other favorite 00:45:34.860 --> 00:45:37.340 character in this was the uh irish uh sea captain 00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:42.179 oh yeah that guy was cool as fuck yeah liver 00:45:42.179 --> 00:45:46.719 and onions yeah oh okay because he hands off 00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:48.860 the he hands off the cocaine sorry the liver 00:45:48.860 --> 00:45:51.619 and onions right he hands off the uh cocaine 00:45:51.619 --> 00:45:54.239 to lose gives him the envelope of money and goes 00:45:54.619 --> 00:45:57.119 That's it. And then just walks away. That's the 00:45:57.119 --> 00:45:59.460 kind of guy I want on my code running team. Yeah. 00:45:59.760 --> 00:46:01.840 Yeah. He seemed like he added shit together. 00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:06.880 This movie is just like a a 90 minute brownout 00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:11.260 for me, like totally sober. I don't fucking remember 00:46:11.260 --> 00:46:14.679 half of what we talked about happening. Even 00:46:14.679 --> 00:46:17.300 the ending, the dog stuff that was new to me 00:46:17.300 --> 00:46:20.260 again. But like, I just sat there. It's like 00:46:20.260 --> 00:46:25.199 I remember bits. here and there so for the people 00:46:25.199 --> 00:46:26.820 who are listening I think we already kind of 00:46:26.820 --> 00:46:29.179 talked about it but like it ends with Leslie 00:46:29.179 --> 00:46:32.300 Bibb showing up at Nick Cage's pizza joint and 00:46:32.300 --> 00:46:34.179 being like you're a dick and you're not going 00:46:34.179 --> 00:46:36.019 to get busted and then she just pulls her gun 00:46:36.019 --> 00:46:38.500 out and he's like what are you going to arrest 00:46:38.500 --> 00:46:41.099 me and then she shoots him four times and that's 00:46:41.099 --> 00:46:45.250 it he dies end of movie yep And are we like our 00:46:45.250 --> 00:46:48.730 weight? Are we happy because she was the protagonist? 00:46:49.329 --> 00:46:55.469 Was she the cops? I don't know. Do we or do we 00:46:55.469 --> 00:46:57.750 feel bad for her because she lost the mother 00:46:57.750 --> 00:47:00.670 of the child? Or did we really like Nick Cage 00:47:00.670 --> 00:47:03.969 because he was the actual protagonist? I don't 00:47:03.969 --> 00:47:06.429 know. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good question. 00:47:06.570 --> 00:47:10.880 It's a weird movie. Not a good movie. no like 00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:13.659 i said it's like a c minus d plus you know yeah 00:47:13.659 --> 00:47:18.659 i give it it tried but like that's all of uh 00:47:18.659 --> 00:47:22.800 again as soon as i saw patriot pictures as like 00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:25.340 on this i'm just like ah i know what this movie 00:47:25.340 --> 00:47:32.260 is this is this is a this is just left of maga 00:47:32.260 --> 00:47:35.519 wet dream yeah and we know it's not a chocolate 00:47:35.519 --> 00:47:38.539 city which is really a travesty because it could 00:47:38.539 --> 00:47:41.829 have been All I want is to see this. Oh, maybe 00:47:41.829 --> 00:47:43.849 I'll look at it on my phone. Why didn't I just 00:47:43.849 --> 00:47:46.250 I should just be on my phone during this podcast. 00:47:46.489 --> 00:47:48.510 I don't know what I'm doing anymore. You should 00:47:48.510 --> 00:47:51.170 just be watching Chocolate City 3 live on your 00:47:51.170 --> 00:47:53.610 phone this whole time. What are you doing? That's 00:47:53.610 --> 00:47:59.010 the live tour. Now you can see it all live. Yeah, 00:48:00.150 --> 00:48:03.309 MAGA people really love shots and scenes of like 00:48:03.309 --> 00:48:05.809 hanging out in the woods with your snowshoes 00:48:05.809 --> 00:48:09.789 and your camo outfits. Black best friend. Yeah, 00:48:09.789 --> 00:48:11.949 right. And then falling in a river and losing 00:48:11.949 --> 00:48:14.349 your backpack full of 10 kilos of coke and then 00:48:14.349 --> 00:48:16.750 magically finding it down the river a few minutes 00:48:16.750 --> 00:48:19.929 later. Like they eat that shit up. I do. I will 00:48:19.929 --> 00:48:24.409 say I did enjoy when the the mule after the twink 00:48:24.409 --> 00:48:28.110 steals the coke, how it was like then the drag 00:48:28.110 --> 00:48:30.170 queen just like comes up and like bodies the 00:48:30.170 --> 00:48:32.809 dude. So like the twink and like hand it to a 00:48:32.809 --> 00:48:35.090 guy out the door like that shit was planned. 00:48:35.250 --> 00:48:37.170 Yeah, they know what they're doing. Yeah, those 00:48:37.170 --> 00:48:43.000 days. Why are he gay? I mean, they do love their 00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:48.320 coke. They do. Coke and cigarettes. That's that's 00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:51.360 the fuel that drives the twink machine. Yeah. 00:48:51.440 --> 00:48:55.019 The gay diet. Yeah. I like how Nick gestured 00:48:55.019 --> 00:48:57.940 at his body. Oh, yeah. Waves to myself. It's 00:48:57.940 --> 00:49:01.960 like, yeah, this is a body made by the most twink. 00:49:03.139 --> 00:49:06.280 That's probably it. Yeah. The most twink. I mean, 00:49:06.280 --> 00:49:08.880 Sean can be the talent and the asshole. I'll 00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:13.960 be the most twink. I get a superlative. Fuck 00:49:13.960 --> 00:49:18.880 you. This might be my favorite episode in a while. 00:49:19.019 --> 00:49:22.519 This has been fun. So what do you do? Do you 00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:24.699 tell people like you should watch this movie 00:49:24.699 --> 00:49:27.260 or maybe don't watch this movie or we've spoiled 00:49:27.260 --> 00:49:30.219 it for you. Maybe still go watch it. Honestly, 00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:33.539 like at this point, it's kind of like we'll never 00:49:33.539 --> 00:49:36.099 say don't watch this movie because there's always 00:49:36.099 --> 00:49:39.940 something like dumb or fun or like because we've 00:49:39.940 --> 00:49:41.920 now talked about it and people listen to this. 00:49:41.940 --> 00:49:43.800 It's like, yeah, you'll probably have fun watching 00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:47.199 it, but it sucks. This was a fun movie to watch. 00:49:48.500 --> 00:49:50.880 That's demonstrably false. We have absolutely 00:49:50.880 --> 00:49:54.260 told people not to watch movies. Yeah, that's 00:49:54.260 --> 00:49:56.539 probably true. What was the last movie we watched 00:49:56.539 --> 00:49:59.780 with the dead son? Ghost Son. Don't watch Ghost 00:49:59.780 --> 00:50:02.559 Son. Ghost Son was bad. Score to settle. Score 00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:04.159 to settle. Don't watch Score to Settle. Just 00:50:04.159 --> 00:50:07.039 watch the beef. Only watch the beef scene. Yeah, 00:50:07.039 --> 00:50:09.860 which you can find on YouTube for free. All right. 00:50:09.860 --> 00:50:11.539 So, yeah, maybe my biggest complaint about this 00:50:11.539 --> 00:50:14.659 whole movie was there was no like bonafide Nicolas 00:50:14.659 --> 00:50:17.940 Cage freak out. moment except for maybe at the 00:50:17.940 --> 00:50:21.079 very very end when he like jumps out and is like 00:50:21.079 --> 00:50:24.559 oh how dare you laurence fishburne fuck you but 00:50:24.559 --> 00:50:28.559 even that was like hinged for the unhinged that 00:50:28.559 --> 00:50:32.239 we expect from an actor yeah with the with the 00:50:32.239 --> 00:50:36.199 cloud of of his caliber yes his caliber of nick 00:50:36.199 --> 00:50:38.099 there was there was a little bit when he was 00:50:38.099 --> 00:50:40.739 like fucking with the snitch and that's kind 00:50:40.739 --> 00:50:42.860 of it you know yeah right it was not like a big 00:50:42.860 --> 00:50:46.519 freak out oh yeah it was just a touch though 00:50:46.519 --> 00:50:48.099 it was just a tease it was just a tease like 00:50:48.099 --> 00:50:50.400 the two strippers in the cage oh we didn't talk 00:50:50.400 --> 00:50:53.960 about the best scene ever when the snitch is 00:50:53.960 --> 00:50:58.260 in the uh in lock up when he's in uh uh holding 00:50:58.260 --> 00:51:01.360 and he goes to piss and just that one guy goes 00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:07.070 you sit to pee you sit down to pee why did he 00:51:07.070 --> 00:51:09.269 ask that is he afraid he's gonna spray on the 00:51:09.269 --> 00:51:12.230 seat or like is that a prison thing i don't know 00:51:12.230 --> 00:51:16.050 as as two people have been in jail uh yes you 00:51:16.050 --> 00:51:18.789 you generally don't make a mess people don't 00:51:18.789 --> 00:51:23.309 like messes it's a courtesy he's teaching polite 00:51:23.309 --> 00:51:27.989 manners well yeah people in prison and jail typically 00:51:27.989 --> 00:51:32.719 act the way You would want your household partner 00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:35.579 to act like you're not going to piss on the seat. 00:51:35.659 --> 00:51:38.420 You're not going to like clog up the toilet. 00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:44.820 I can whack off too much on the top bunk. Maybe 00:51:44.820 --> 00:51:48.780 time it at the same time. Coordination, just 00:51:48.780 --> 00:51:51.219 communication. Yeah, like a real partnership. 00:51:51.320 --> 00:51:54.730 You're right. It's about love. yeah it's all 00:51:54.730 --> 00:52:00.489 about love whack off at 305 605 and 905 okay 00:52:00.489 --> 00:52:06.690 complete at 307 thrice in the morning then we 00:52:06.690 --> 00:52:09.510 just go into the day rough it's prison there's 00:52:09.510 --> 00:52:13.869 nothing else to do yeah i think that's it i think 00:52:13.869 --> 00:52:18.809 we nailed it great movie solid 10 out of 10 no 00:52:18.809 --> 00:52:24.400 i'd give it like a 3 out of 10 my imdb but my 00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:28.780 imdb would maybe be yeah for i didn't hate it 00:52:28.780 --> 00:52:31.340 i liked the ride like you said like you said 00:52:31.340 --> 00:52:35.940 the the asshole wait yeah i like the ride but 00:52:35.940 --> 00:52:40.420 it wasn't a good film so yeah or yeah it was 00:52:40.420 --> 00:52:43.599 that's for the movie and that's all it's gonna 00:52:43.599 --> 00:52:46.119 be to me it's like oh it was that was the movie 00:52:46.119 --> 00:52:50.440 all right well from what i can remember i think 00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:53.119 a four is pretty high like if i felt like uh 00:52:53.820 --> 00:52:56.039 Yeah, if anything above a three, like a three 00:52:56.039 --> 00:52:58.320 one is technically more than a three, then it's 00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:02.800 a four. The Patriot films we've watched, this 00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:05.599 would be one of the better ones, I'd say. So 00:53:05.599 --> 00:53:09.920 running with the devil, the Rotten Tomatoes for 00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:14.980 that is 25%. That sounds right. So now the important 00:53:14.980 --> 00:53:18.840 thing, the important thing to declare here is 00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:21.119 that the next movie we're going to watch is called 00:53:21.119 --> 00:53:25.559 Grand Isle. and it is rated zero percent on rotten 00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:30.880 tomatoes oh all right you know what uh so of 00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:32.840 this grand experiment there's one movie that 00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:34.820 i did not get to experience because of covid 00:53:34.820 --> 00:53:38.179 that you guys did without my oh the humanity 00:53:38.179 --> 00:53:40.619 bureau yeah i feel you're not missing that much 00:53:40.619 --> 00:53:43.239 i know but i feel for like the patrons we need 00:53:43.239 --> 00:53:46.260 to do uh and also because i'm a good catholic 00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:49.639 and i hate myself um we need to do a uh clockwork 00:53:49.639 --> 00:53:51.969 orange thing where you just like strap me down 00:53:51.969 --> 00:53:53.789 and like pin my eyes open and make me watch that 00:53:53.789 --> 00:53:56.409 and film it for the enjoyment of bill because 00:53:56.409 --> 00:54:00.309 bill's a sick fuck right i think you should watch 00:54:00.309 --> 00:54:04.050 it and record a solo episode with the backing 00:54:04.050 --> 00:54:07.170 track of our episode underneath it and then you 00:54:07.170 --> 00:54:09.349 have to try to like you jump in every once in 00:54:09.349 --> 00:54:11.750 a while be like oh but i thought and then it's 00:54:11.750 --> 00:54:14.250 like oh i talked over him again and it's just 00:54:14.250 --> 00:54:18.860 the two of us steamrolling you i mean Sean can 00:54:18.860 --> 00:54:22.860 never get a word in the same room. That is kind 00:54:22.860 --> 00:54:26.539 of true. Yeah. It's because we can cut you in 00:54:26.539 --> 00:54:29.440 wherever we want. And I say we because it's Peter. 00:54:29.739 --> 00:54:32.079 Yeah. Because I don't know how to use Discord. 00:54:32.400 --> 00:54:36.639 The producer. The royal way. Yeah. All right. 00:54:36.679 --> 00:54:38.260 Well, I think that's good enough for this episode. 00:54:39.340 --> 00:54:41.920 That's that's our that's our mantra. Mantra. 00:54:42.039 --> 00:54:45.400 Yeah. We just crossed the hour mark. So that's 00:54:45.400 --> 00:54:49.320 when does it stop? Right now. Never, Kendra. 00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:52.559 Never. We're going to keep going forever. I don't 00:54:52.559 --> 00:54:53.760 know. Kendra, do you got anything you want to 00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:57.340 plug? Yeah. Oh, other than Lawrence Fishburne 00:54:57.340 --> 00:55:00.940 with my strap on? No. Yeah. Maybe you get it. 00:55:01.360 --> 00:55:03.760 Anyway, thank you all for listening. Thank you 00:55:03.760 --> 00:55:05.860 to our Sparkle Buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam, 00:55:05.900 --> 00:55:08.300 Bill, Stuart, and Willow. And our Cage Dancers, 00:55:08.400 --> 00:55:11.119 John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. And for our 00:55:11.119 --> 00:55:15.050 music, by Bill Panks. So, yeah, come back for 00:55:15.050 --> 00:55:20.650 Grand Isle, a zero percenter. I'm intrigued. 00:55:20.949 --> 00:55:24.329 It's going to be a shit show. Who produced it? 00:55:25.369 --> 00:55:28.869 Martin Scorsese. Oh, man, this thing's going 00:55:28.869 --> 00:55:33.110 to suck. Absolutely not. Oh, it's it's it's only 00:55:33.110 --> 00:55:37.429 97 minutes. We got this. We can do it. I downloaded 00:55:37.429 --> 00:55:41.349 a. uh plug -in for chrome where i can like speed 00:55:41.349 --> 00:55:44.110 up movies to an unreasonable rate for this film 00:55:44.110 --> 00:55:47.670 oh dude i i've been doing this for the entire 00:55:47.670 --> 00:55:51.150 podcast it is my bread and butter like it's weird 00:55:51.150 --> 00:55:53.650 how much i can actually process those movies 00:55:53.650 --> 00:55:56.690 at that speed but i've gotten there i i put this 00:55:56.690 --> 00:55:58.849 on at two and a half speed just for the rewatch 00:55:58.849 --> 00:56:02.829 and i'm like this is just as good yes oh my god 00:56:02.829 --> 00:56:05.670 i can't do that that's too much i can't that's 00:56:07.019 --> 00:56:10.519 So, like, how can you focus on it? I did it for 00:56:10.519 --> 00:56:12.239 the rewatch. I didn't do it for the first watch. 00:56:12.719 --> 00:56:17.019 I don't know if I can do that. I would absolutely 00:56:17.019 --> 00:56:19.980 just be walking around at that point. It's like, 00:56:20.019 --> 00:56:22.619 oh, it's just moving fast. I can move fast. Let's 00:56:22.619 --> 00:56:24.059 move fast together. You just have to do some 00:56:24.059 --> 00:56:27.079 more cocaine, plus Fenton heroin. It's normal 00:56:27.079 --> 00:56:30.380 speed, honestly. The Fenton heroin is how you 00:56:30.380 --> 00:56:32.579 slow down when you're like, oh, I've gone too 00:56:32.579 --> 00:56:36.309 fast. Pump the brakes. Goodbye, folks. yeah all 00:56:36.309 --> 00:56:39.329 right the bartender thank you uh thank you the 00:56:39.329 --> 00:56:42.829 talent slash the asshole thank you uh nick what 00:56:42.829 --> 00:56:47.150 was yours again the mega twink the most twink 00:56:47.150 --> 00:56:52.309 the most twink and me the producer thank you 00:56:52.309 --> 00:56:54.170 all for listening and uh we'll see you next time 00:56:54.170 --> 00:56:55.809 bye