WEBVTT

00:00:01.710 --> 00:00:25.730
Oh, God. I got to just always be recording. Don't

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do that. Nick and I say bad things that should

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not be recorded for posterity. Oh, so let's just

00:00:30.910 --> 00:00:32.670
not do the podcast anymore? I've been saying

00:00:32.670 --> 00:00:36.829
this for years. That's true. So how you been,

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Daryl? Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. Just saying,

00:00:39.490 --> 00:00:41.369
surviving the heat wave over here. So it's like

00:00:41.369 --> 00:00:45.030
low 30s, which is like, what, 80, 85 Fahrenheit

00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:47.250
or something. Thanks for dumbing that down for

00:00:47.250 --> 00:00:50.670
me. It's what we do here. And obviously the UK

00:00:50.670 --> 00:00:54.759
accommodate us. Obviously, UK infrastructure

00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:58.079
is not built for a heat wave, so we don't believe

00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:01.219
in AC here. So underneath this shirt, I am dripping.

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I am so hot. So multiple points in this, you're

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just going to hear me go, and just fight for

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my life. I mean, we hear Nick make those noises

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all the time. Yeah. We're men in our 40s. As

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Daryl dies on that end of the call, I'll just

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be making the same noise for different reasons

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on this end. Just busting. When I'm slumped like

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this, just wrap up for me. I'll do my best Daryl

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impression. Yeah, perfect. There we go. I had

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a dream about that yesterday. Daryl dying? No,

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about you doing a Daryl impression. Oh, interesting.

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It would not go great. It didn't. It was hilarious.

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Daryl, I was trying to remember, how many episodes

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have you been on with us at this point? You helped

00:01:45.409 --> 00:01:48.730
us coin Honey Won't Melt Steel Beams, a permanent

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gem. You were on the D &D podcast episodes. You

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were a guest on another one, weren't you? I would

00:01:58.609 --> 00:02:00.790
say it's been three episodes. Wicker Man was

00:02:00.790 --> 00:02:09.169
one of them. Wicker Man next? No. What's the

00:02:09.169 --> 00:02:11.599
math one? Knowing. Knowing. I think it was knowing.

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It was knowing because you talked about a giant

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butt plug spaceship. Oh, yeah. Sounds like me.

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I think it definitely spoke about Spider -Man

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at some point as well. That feels familiar. Oh,

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yeah, we did. Sucking and chucking. Sucking and

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fucking. Sucking and fucking. I like how Michael

00:02:29.180 --> 00:02:30.919
Caine might come out of retirement for a Vin

00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:35.449
Diesel sequel. A Vin Diesel sequel? For Last

00:02:35.449 --> 00:02:39.550
Witch Hunter. I love Vin Diesel 1. I can't wait

00:02:39.550 --> 00:02:44.650
for more. No, I did not know that. There's rumblings.

00:02:45.270 --> 00:02:47.509
Interesting. What a weird one to come out of

00:02:47.509 --> 00:02:50.310
retirement for. I mean, you know, Charles III

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bought his mom that great house. It's true. When

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the money's right. I'm sure he's got, you know,

00:02:56.030 --> 00:02:58.650
illegitimate children who need money. Oh, yeah,

00:02:58.750 --> 00:03:01.960
of course. You're a celebrity. Yeah. You're Michael

00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:04.319
fucking Kane. Yeah. You definitely sucked and

00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:07.599
fucked. I've died by a fair share of sack of

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good fucking. I love that movie. That movie is

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really good. I was thinking about that the other

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day. This is a good movie. You know what movie

00:03:15.780 --> 00:03:18.500
I didn't love? This one. Yeah. And what movie

00:03:18.500 --> 00:03:21.460
are we talking about, Sean? Oh, it's got such

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a generic name. Out for Vengeance, Payback, For

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Blood. You're close. You're getting there. Starts

00:03:28.020 --> 00:03:30.919
with an S. There's something to be... Something

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to be somethinged. A score to settle. Yeah. You

00:03:36.919 --> 00:03:38.860
got there. Yeah. No help needed. This movie was

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just the most generic worst thing. Welcome to

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the bottom of the barrel, people. I loved it.

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We started it up, and from the very first interaction,

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I was like, oh, he dead. It's like, you can't

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sixth sense me twice. Yeah, they did not do a

00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:57.639
very good job. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool

00:03:57.639 --> 00:04:00.680
me twice. Well, you can't fool me twice. Welcome

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back to Cage Magical and Roundabout with me,

00:04:02.580 --> 00:04:05.240
Nicholas Cage. I just got my coffee. Give me

00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:08.400
a break. I'm Sean, here with my co -host. Nick.

00:04:08.699 --> 00:04:12.460
And our producer. Peter, hello. And back again,

00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:16.040
Daryl Edge of Cage Rage and getting to foe you.

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Hello, you get me once a year and you've cashed

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in on this, you idiots. Let's go. We don't have

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a lot left. I believe I pitched out the options

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to you, Daryl, and you claimed this one. You

00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:30.600
can't prove that except for the chat where that

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happened. Damn you, paper trail. I think that

00:04:36.019 --> 00:04:38.519
you have a soft spot for this, but prove me wrong.

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This is just one of those where it's like only

00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:45.370
the Cage aficionados are going to look for it,

00:04:45.389 --> 00:04:47.610
but there's a lot of good Cage content in it.

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I was kind of surprised by that because I thought

00:04:49.589 --> 00:04:52.029
this was going to be just ham -faced Cage the

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whole time, especially because he starts the

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movie with that snarl lip that he had for the

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2019 movies. I think that's permanent now. It

00:04:59.490 --> 00:05:01.930
might be. I think he's learned to smile again.

00:05:02.069 --> 00:05:05.980
He found joy after 2019. And I was really thinking

00:05:05.980 --> 00:05:07.500
that we were just going to get kind of the nothing

00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:10.180
photocopy of a photocopy of Cage, but he kind

00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:12.540
of does a good job. Yeah, he tried all the way

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through. Yeah. The script sucks. I mean, it's

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pretty, pretty awful, pretty blocky. But Nick

00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:22.740
Cage kind of does give it his all. I do have

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to say from the first scene of this movie, when

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we see a young, what's his character name? It's

00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:30.399
not Joey. That's the only name I remember. Joey's

00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:33.769
character? Frank. Frank. Frankie. Frankie. When

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we see a young Frankie and I see this guy, I'm

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like, if you didn't know what young Nick Cage

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looked like, if you only seen him now, I'd look

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at that guy and be like, yeah, that might be

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a young Nick Cage. Yeah, it doesn't help us because

00:05:44.649 --> 00:05:47.170
we started with like watching young Nick Cage

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movies and it's like, oh, right. We know what

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he really did look like. But I'm like, that was

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a decent facsimile, I thought. I had to get to

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the time jump to be like, oh, OK, that was him

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as a youth, a youth. I wasn't sure either, but

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I'm like, it'd be really weird if they had that

00:06:01.410 --> 00:06:05.129
guy. not play young nick cage like if he came

00:06:05.129 --> 00:06:06.970
back at the end and it's like what the fuck was

00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:09.629
that scene about yeah yeah nothing else is about

00:06:09.629 --> 00:06:12.029
that baseball bat we're just just a very big

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baseball bat beating enthusiasts so when i started

00:06:15.490 --> 00:06:18.250
this movie up i was like okay this feels like

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one of those movies that's going to have six

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production studios And it had seven intro cards.

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Oh, nice. Incredible. Once we hit Saturn, I was

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like, oh, I didn't even count. But there was

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no way I was rewinding at that point. I was in.

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At Saturn, there were two more. Yeah. You just

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say six, seven. I'm doing it. God damn it, Daryl.

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No. It finally got over the water, over the pond.

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People are doing it. It's not going to be cool

00:06:48.220 --> 00:06:51.370
anymore. Oh, yeah. The day that I saw some old

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dude do it at a hockey game and they just like

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kind of held on him for a second and then everybody

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got real sad. I was like, cool, it's dead. We

00:07:01.490 --> 00:07:04.629
saw it die a death. Yeah, just old dudes at hockey

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games. Hell yeah. So, yeah, I mean, like running

00:07:07.930 --> 00:07:09.730
through the characters in this, there's not that

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many that even matter. So you've got Nick Cage

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as Frank, his son played by Noah Legro, who was

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also in the old way, apparently, which. I think

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still to date, I didn't actually watch that movie.

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It might be one of the few that I haven't seen.

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Oh, yeah. I think that was one that just Sean

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and I recorded. Yeah. OK. And we've watched it

00:07:29.509 --> 00:07:32.930
again for fun. I don't know why. I don't either.

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Gross. What's wrong with you guys? Your brains

00:07:36.430 --> 00:07:38.470
are bad. I mean, we did it to ourselves. We could

00:07:38.470 --> 00:07:41.050
just watch that fucking Buffalo Hunter one again.

00:07:41.149 --> 00:07:44.529
No. No. I'll probably watch it again. I would

00:07:44.529 --> 00:07:48.509
just watch Gunslingers again. Daryl, did you

00:07:48.509 --> 00:07:51.730
see Gunslingers? You must have. I have seen Gunslingers.

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My favorite part of Gunslingers, this is only

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for the eagle -eyed Cage viewer, and spoilers

00:07:57.269 --> 00:07:59.009
if you haven't seen it, when those two people

00:07:59.009 --> 00:08:01.009
who don't matter go into that cave to get all

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the weapons and they've got all the posters,

00:08:03.430 --> 00:08:05.689
there's a poster of Nicolas Cage from a different

00:08:05.689 --> 00:08:08.449
film. uh from the old way and i was like you

00:08:08.449 --> 00:08:10.629
thought i wouldn't notice i pointed that out

00:08:10.629 --> 00:08:15.050
yeah yeah sean clocked that i just love the way

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that voice doing that for the podcast record

00:08:24.569 --> 00:08:28.370
fucked my voice up so bad i had like a week of

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damaged throat yeah i tried to do it immediately

00:08:30.389 --> 00:08:32.710
when i was watching it i was like oh he's he's

00:08:32.710 --> 00:08:35.850
doing his miles davis impression um Which is,

00:08:35.870 --> 00:08:38.509
of course, Nick Cage has a Miles Davis in his

00:08:38.509 --> 00:08:40.230
repertoire. Of course he does. It looks like

00:08:40.230 --> 00:08:44.809
a baby angel. Fuck me, that hurts. I don't feel

00:08:44.809 --> 00:08:46.929
good when I do that voice. So then the only other

00:08:46.929 --> 00:08:49.389
like important characters, there's a sex worker

00:08:49.389 --> 00:08:54.009
named Simone slash Jennifer. And then, of course,

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Benjamin Bratt is a character just named Q. Yeah.

00:08:57.830 --> 00:08:59.610
And then there's some other like miscellaneous

00:08:59.610 --> 00:09:06.440
goon types. The dragon. Tank. That's Jimmy the

00:09:06.440 --> 00:09:08.500
Dragon for you. I really enjoyed the bellhop

00:09:08.500 --> 00:09:13.360
kid. He was like, I don't know about those nursing

00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:17.240
homes, mister. I'll give you 500 bucks. He is

00:09:17.240 --> 00:09:20.919
just throwing wads of cash. It doesn't count

00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.279
a single bit of money. Just wadding all over.

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This is my kind of movie. Okay, Daryl, give us

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the summary of this fucking movie, because there's

00:09:31.019 --> 00:09:34.500
not that much. So it's basically an ex -criminal

00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:39.980
who is now a deeply sleepy man in jail for some

00:09:39.980 --> 00:09:42.480
of that sweet vengeance. I don't know if there's

00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.059
much more to say than that. Kind of not. He reconnects

00:09:47.059 --> 00:09:49.600
with his son. I just love that he's terminally

00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:54.059
tired. Terminally tired, refuses to sleep. Oh,

00:09:54.179 --> 00:09:56.080
thinking about the premise of this movie just

00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:59.120
kills me again. I googled it. It's a real disease.

00:10:00.169 --> 00:10:02.289
i mean i believe that it was it just seemed like

00:10:02.289 --> 00:10:04.690
what a weird choice for this like you could just

00:10:04.690 --> 00:10:06.769
make him have kind of lost his mind in prison

00:10:06.769 --> 00:10:08.889
for having taken the fall and it was supposed

00:10:08.889 --> 00:10:10.970
to be like five years in the joint and it turned

00:10:10.970 --> 00:10:13.610
into life and the only reason he got out is because

00:10:13.610 --> 00:10:15.250
he had this condition he would have just fucking

00:10:15.250 --> 00:10:17.690
died in prison yeah i think my favorite thing

00:10:17.690 --> 00:10:19.590
was that they tell him like oh you've got really

00:10:19.590 --> 00:10:22.450
bad insomnia it could kill you give you hallucinations

00:10:22.450 --> 00:10:24.690
and this that and the other and then they release

00:10:24.690 --> 00:10:28.149
him at night time when people go to bed I was

00:10:28.149 --> 00:10:29.950
like, I don't think the U .S. prison system cares

00:10:29.950 --> 00:10:33.789
that much. And they just watch them wander up

00:10:33.789 --> 00:10:36.110
the road. Yeah, they're kind of just a big fuck

00:10:36.110 --> 00:10:39.230
you. Yeah, I do feel like it's the most inconvenient

00:10:39.230 --> 00:10:41.970
time possible is when they will open the doors.

00:10:42.049 --> 00:10:44.730
Absolutely. I got let out at three in the morning

00:10:44.730 --> 00:10:47.149
one time. Oh, it's like, who the fuck let somebody

00:10:47.149 --> 00:10:48.889
out at three in the morning from like, they're

00:10:48.889 --> 00:10:51.210
just hoping to get swept up again. Yeah. Fucking

00:10:51.210 --> 00:10:55.059
assholes. Cops suck. They do suck. This movie

00:10:55.059 --> 00:10:56.580
didn't have a lot of cops. The correctional system

00:10:56.580 --> 00:10:58.740
is even worse because they're not. Oh, yeah.

00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:02.039
They are worse. Yeah. Did you just admit it's

00:11:02.039 --> 00:11:04.139
like crime? Are you a criminal? Am I talking

00:11:04.139 --> 00:11:08.460
with like criminal? You've admitted to a crime

00:11:08.460 --> 00:11:10.580
every time Daryl's been on. I think you've admitted

00:11:10.580 --> 00:11:12.960
to crimes on many episodes. Yeah, I think there's

00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:16.039
a pretty solid double digit percentage of episodes

00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:19.320
on this podcast where I've admitted to having

00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:22.379
crimed. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. And you probably

00:11:22.379 --> 00:11:25.620
admitted crimes on here that you didn't get hemmed

00:11:25.620 --> 00:11:27.659
up for. Oh, yeah. But there's probably a statute

00:11:27.659 --> 00:11:29.940
of limitations. Probably. Who doesn't love a

00:11:29.940 --> 00:11:32.659
statute? I know. OK, so he gets let out of prison.

00:11:33.210 --> 00:11:35.629
and he immediately sees his son walking down

00:11:35.629 --> 00:11:39.350
the nighttime road which i had not i had already

00:11:39.350 --> 00:11:41.009
lost interest in this movie at this point we're

00:11:41.009 --> 00:11:43.950
like seven minutes in and i had looked down for

00:11:43.950 --> 00:11:45.370
a second and looked back up and i was like wait

00:11:45.370 --> 00:11:47.250
his son is here so i rewound it and i was like

00:11:47.250 --> 00:11:50.610
oh he's a ghost yeah he like fades in it's not

00:11:50.610 --> 00:11:53.629
even trying to hide it i missed that because

00:11:53.629 --> 00:11:59.360
i was so upset with his hoodie I could not focus.

00:11:59.419 --> 00:12:01.279
I'm like, why do you have a hoodie with no sleeves?

00:12:01.500 --> 00:12:03.419
It's got short sleeves. Yeah, it did have sleeves.

00:12:03.539 --> 00:12:05.059
They were just very short. Yeah, it's just like

00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:07.559
that seems so pointless. It's for shooting up.

00:12:07.899 --> 00:12:10.080
Yeah, I know you want to get to the veins quicker.

00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:13.639
There you go. Science reason. Yeah. So his duck,

00:12:13.639 --> 00:12:16.440
his fucking dumb ass son is there. Joey, who

00:12:16.440 --> 00:12:18.779
looks like shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's always

00:12:18.779 --> 00:12:21.279
got those stupid bags under his eyes. Hella bags.

00:12:21.320 --> 00:12:24.750
Yeah. And he's like, kind of a dick. But kind

00:12:24.750 --> 00:12:26.970
of nice. I don't know. It's weird. And he doesn't

00:12:26.970 --> 00:12:29.309
touch anything. No. He never lifts his hands

00:12:29.309 --> 00:12:31.870
to touch anything. He doesn't eat. Yeah. Doesn't

00:12:31.870 --> 00:12:33.830
eat. He won't drive the car. I mean, obviously,

00:12:33.850 --> 00:12:36.490
because he's a ghost. Yeah. A hallucination.

00:12:36.649 --> 00:12:38.429
Yeah. Not even a ghost. Not even a ghost. This

00:12:38.429 --> 00:12:41.049
isn't even a cool paranormal story. It's just

00:12:41.049 --> 00:12:44.230
Dumb Dumb got tired and started to bug and see

00:12:44.230 --> 00:12:48.690
his kid. So they go and they dig up a bag of

00:12:48.690 --> 00:12:51.629
money. And a cabbie sits on the side of a road

00:12:51.629 --> 00:12:55.529
for like an hour, which there's no chance that

00:12:55.529 --> 00:12:57.669
guy would have stayed. Oh, no. He'd be like,

00:12:57.710 --> 00:13:01.029
oh, there's no one else in the car. Right. He's

00:13:01.029 --> 00:13:04.370
been talking to nobody and gets out of the car.

00:13:04.389 --> 00:13:08.649
He's like, I'll be back in two minutes. Casually

00:13:08.649 --> 00:13:12.090
peruses some photograph books and finds a shovel.

00:13:12.169 --> 00:13:14.009
Oh, my God. As soon as he picked up a shovel,

00:13:14.090 --> 00:13:16.389
I was like, this isn't a two minute thing. Got

00:13:16.389 --> 00:13:19.509
to wander into the back nine. Yeah, dig up your

00:13:19.509 --> 00:13:23.090
money sack, which is what he does. Money sack

00:13:23.090 --> 00:13:26.450
and baseball bat. One bloody baseball bat. Right.

00:13:26.549 --> 00:13:29.809
A plot device. Right. I can word. But he also

00:13:29.809 --> 00:13:33.090
made baseball bats in the joint. Yeah. And was

00:13:33.090 --> 00:13:35.090
just handing them out like candy. It was just

00:13:35.090 --> 00:13:38.090
to give that one drug gun runner lady's kid a

00:13:38.090 --> 00:13:41.029
bat. He also gave his dead son a bat. Yeah, he

00:13:41.029 --> 00:13:43.429
tried to, but his kid was like. How would that

00:13:43.429 --> 00:13:44.990
work? He's just holding it out and then just

00:13:44.990 --> 00:13:46.929
like it clacks on the ground and his brain is

00:13:46.929 --> 00:13:50.289
like. Did he even, like, take the bat? I don't

00:13:50.289 --> 00:13:53.389
think so. Yeah. No. I can imagine he would just

00:13:53.389 --> 00:13:56.370
hallucinate even holding it. Didn't Joey hold

00:13:56.370 --> 00:13:58.269
the baseball card at one point, though? Because

00:13:58.269 --> 00:14:00.330
he was like, I could sell this. Nope. He held

00:14:00.330 --> 00:14:02.230
it up to him and he was like, I could sell that.

00:14:02.370 --> 00:14:04.269
And he's like, well, please don't. Okay. And

00:14:04.269 --> 00:14:06.169
then he puts it back in his pocket. I think he

00:14:06.169 --> 00:14:08.590
was going to take a bat and then Cage was like.

00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:12.419
Not that one. It's not maple. It's beech. You

00:14:12.419 --> 00:14:14.399
don't want to wear a beech bat. Not birch. You

00:14:14.399 --> 00:14:16.340
don't like birch. He was going to grab the murder

00:14:16.340 --> 00:14:18.519
bat. He was going to grab the bloody bat. The

00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:20.480
bloody bat, yeah. It wasn't the optimal bat.

00:14:20.740 --> 00:14:22.700
Yeah, you don't want a fucking birch bat. What

00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:25.700
are you, a bitch? Fuck. Fuck. Why did you bring

00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:28.240
it if I can't have it, dad? Birch -ass bitch.

00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:31.960
But he also boasts about getting worldwide orders.

00:14:32.679 --> 00:14:36.080
Yeah. I love that he just carries around this

00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:39.200
evidence, this piece of evidence. I know the

00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:42.059
whole time. Well, I was going to use it for some

00:14:42.059 --> 00:14:44.960
sweet revenge. Yeah, but he's just like in a

00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:48.139
duffel bag walking around town with a he's for

00:14:48.139 --> 00:14:51.539
also talking to nobody. Yeah. The scene of him

00:14:51.539 --> 00:14:53.419
where they like show all the scenes where he

00:14:53.419 --> 00:14:55.200
was out with Joey and it's just like him like

00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.620
sad alone. Like that's depressing. Yeah. Yeah.

00:14:59.700 --> 00:15:01.159
The big reveal later when it's like he's been

00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.720
dead the whole time. What? And then it's just

00:15:03.720 --> 00:15:05.620
all these cut scenes of Nick Cage just sitting

00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:11.100
by himself. That guy's ordering a lot of food

00:15:11.100 --> 00:15:13.240
himself. I meant to look up, how much was that

00:15:13.240 --> 00:15:16.259
car? I don't know how much that car was. Under

00:15:16.259 --> 00:15:19.539
$450 ,000. Right. Well, less than that because

00:15:19.539 --> 00:15:22.019
he had $100 ,000 left for Simone at the end.

00:15:22.259 --> 00:15:25.299
Right. And he paid, he bought so much stuff with

00:15:25.299 --> 00:15:28.559
cash that you can't just buy with cash. Like

00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.759
what? Going to a hotel. Well, these were different

00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:34.360
times. It was like. Actually, I think you probably

00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:37.360
still can pay cash at a hotel. You need ID. Yeah.

00:15:37.659 --> 00:15:40.500
He probably had ID. From 20 years ago. Yeah,

00:15:40.519 --> 00:15:43.100
it's just got a hole punched in it. Yeah, whatever.

00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:46.340
That's what we do to show that IDs are not valid

00:15:46.340 --> 00:15:50.240
anymore. They're expired. You are living in the

00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:53.179
future. I know, we have hole punches for everything

00:15:53.179 --> 00:15:54.820
these days. Yeah, just straight through that

00:15:54.820 --> 00:15:58.460
plastic. Yeah. We just have IDs forever because

00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:00.960
no one checks and gives a shit. Young forever,

00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:07.169
baby. Oh. That's the way. So they get a bunch

00:16:07.169 --> 00:16:09.850
of money. They buy a bunch of shit. There's a

00:16:09.850 --> 00:16:12.029
weird presentation of a cell phone in a box,

00:16:12.129 --> 00:16:17.509
but it's like a jewelry box. Yeah. Daddy's first

00:16:17.509 --> 00:16:20.230
smartphone. Daddy's first smartphone. Never even

00:16:20.230 --> 00:16:23.610
got to crank up some porno on it. I know. You

00:16:23.610 --> 00:16:25.730
didn't need to. You got that sweet, sweet sex

00:16:25.730 --> 00:16:29.250
worker sex. Also, OK. He probably could have

00:16:29.250 --> 00:16:32.129
warmed up with a little porno. Yeah. I am not

00:16:32.129 --> 00:16:36.769
a sexual dynamo. But in my understanding, if

00:16:36.769 --> 00:16:40.129
you are the one being ridden, I don't think you

00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:42.850
usually get the accolades of nice work. If you're

00:16:42.850 --> 00:16:46.470
paying them, you do. Fair enough. He's paying

00:16:46.470 --> 00:16:50.169
like $1 ,000 a go. If they're just like, well,

00:16:50.330 --> 00:16:52.750
that was fine. I'm like, what am I paying for

00:16:52.750 --> 00:16:56.250
here? You're supposed to lie to me. Oh, my God.

00:16:56.269 --> 00:16:57.870
That was the best I've ever had. And it's like,

00:16:58.009 --> 00:17:01.149
you just wrote an old man's dick. That's it.

00:17:01.269 --> 00:17:03.309
You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything.

00:17:04.079 --> 00:17:07.099
Way to not bust too fast. Yep. Nice work. It's

00:17:07.099 --> 00:17:09.359
all sad and old and confusing. He pays like another

00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:11.339
thousand in advance. He's like, there you go.

00:17:11.539 --> 00:17:13.240
Like, you know how to make a woman feel special.

00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:16.319
Well, that's what you do, right? He's been in

00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:19.140
the slammer for 19 years from young cage to old

00:17:19.140 --> 00:17:24.400
cage. Let's be honest, age like milk. And then

00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:29.470
he goes, so it's like, go bang a woman. okay

00:17:29.470 --> 00:17:32.289
there was one there was one scene later where

00:17:32.289 --> 00:17:34.230
his son is like so you're gonna tell me about

00:17:34.230 --> 00:17:37.349
fucking that lady yeah and he uses a phrase making

00:17:37.349 --> 00:17:42.650
mercury oh yeah is that i've never heard that

00:17:42.650 --> 00:17:46.900
before I'm Googling making Mercury slang. You're

00:17:46.900 --> 00:17:48.200
telling me you made Mercury and you're not even

00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:50.740
going to tell me about it? You're my 20 -year

00:17:50.740 --> 00:17:53.000
-old son. No, I'm not going to talk about fucking

00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:57.000
a prostitute. I will say he did age terribly

00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:59.359
in jail, but also I'm so glad because at this

00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:02.099
era of Cage, we would just have 20 -year time

00:18:02.099 --> 00:18:03.839
jumps and they would just have Nick Cage play

00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:06.500
a 20 -year -old younger Nick Cage. Yeah, they

00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:08.279
just wouldn't have done the hair makeup. Yeah.

00:18:12.040 --> 00:18:15.940
Not even Google has got anything. It's all astrological,

00:18:15.980 --> 00:18:18.460
like all Mercury and retrograde. It's nothing.

00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:22.039
What about Google? Are you not on that one? Just

00:18:22.039 --> 00:18:26.799
Google? Google? Have you ever gotten to the end

00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.779
of Google? It's a weird, scary place. I don't

00:18:28.779 --> 00:18:30.640
like it. No, but have you ever Googled anything

00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:32.279
and it's like, we don't have an answer for that?

00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:34.160
Oh, yeah. It's weird. It's weird. I don't like

00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:36.400
it. It's scary. Nowadays, they just filter in

00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:38.200
sponsored stuff at that point. Yeah, exactly.

00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:41.609
They fill the gap. So let's see. They buy a bunch

00:18:41.609 --> 00:18:43.369
of shit. He goes and buys a gun. The revenge

00:18:43.369 --> 00:18:46.490
tour begins by buying a gun from that lady. Who

00:18:46.490 --> 00:18:50.910
was the daughter of one of his old crewmates.

00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:53.529
Yeah, just irrelevant. And then she had a kid

00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:56.029
and he's like, it comes full circle. Have a baseball

00:18:56.029 --> 00:18:59.710
bat. Yeah. Do a murder with this when you're

00:18:59.710 --> 00:19:04.069
19. These swing real good. Yeah. I love that

00:19:04.069 --> 00:19:06.970
he was getting like commission requests while

00:19:06.970 --> 00:19:10.349
in prison making bats. He was like, people. People

00:19:10.349 --> 00:19:13.130
used to line up to get bats from me. It's like,

00:19:13.170 --> 00:19:16.630
hmm, I don't know about that. I think you hallucinate

00:19:16.630 --> 00:19:18.890
all of your customers. Do you think he put his

00:19:18.890 --> 00:19:21.430
name Frankie Fingers on the bats? Because, like,

00:19:21.509 --> 00:19:25.150
it would burn it in. Here's a bat from prison

00:19:25.150 --> 00:19:29.289
from Frankie Fingers. Honestly, that's a pretty

00:19:29.289 --> 00:19:33.529
cool, like, prison bat memorabilia kind of thing.

00:19:33.980 --> 00:19:36.900
I would be into that. Yeah, fair enough. There

00:19:36.900 --> 00:19:43.779
was a guy in county named The Wizard. Did he

00:19:43.779 --> 00:19:47.880
have a maple pole? I didn't check his pole. I

00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:51.160
think I was a little too old and suspecting.

00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:54.059
So Daryl, I'm guessing you didn't go to the joint

00:19:54.059 --> 00:19:59.180
ever. Only the prison of the mind. Did we ever

00:19:59.180 --> 00:20:03.029
truly leave the prison of the mind? I've never

00:20:03.029 --> 00:20:05.569
been in the slammer. I've only ever seen it on

00:20:05.569 --> 00:20:08.609
TV, but people just throw boiling hot water in

00:20:08.609 --> 00:20:11.710
your face all the time. Sean Bean's probably

00:20:11.710 --> 00:20:14.450
in there like, oh, please don't stop me. You

00:20:14.450 --> 00:20:17.650
get de -loused a lot. Yeah, exactly. Shawshank

00:20:17.650 --> 00:20:21.710
Redemption style. Yeah. Just long -handled brush.

00:20:24.390 --> 00:20:26.230
You don't want to get too close. No, they don't

00:20:26.230 --> 00:20:30.430
want to get lice or louses. They don't want to

00:20:30.430 --> 00:20:35.410
be lousy. Lousy with lousy. No, I mean, I don't

00:20:35.410 --> 00:20:38.390
know that I'd start a prison Etsy business for

00:20:38.390 --> 00:20:42.990
making baseball bats, though. Does the prison

00:20:42.990 --> 00:20:46.170
take a cut of your take? I feel like you're co

00:20:46.170 --> 00:20:50.289
-opting culture at that point. I'm going to need

00:20:50.289 --> 00:20:53.589
to join a gang, and I am ambiguous at best. That's

00:20:53.589 --> 00:20:55.009
true. You could probably fit in with the native

00:20:55.009 --> 00:20:58.890
crowd. If I ever started a blog ranking hot dogs,

00:20:59.069 --> 00:21:02.619
I would be able to rank... Columbia County Jail.

00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:06.480
Where would they rank? Very low. Wasn't it just

00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:09.200
white bread? It was white bread with just mustard

00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:13.779
poured over it and two just hot dogs steamed

00:21:13.779 --> 00:21:16.640
or whatever sitting there. Or maybe boiled. Probably

00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:20.640
boiled. Yeah. Big batch boiled wieners. White

00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:23.480
bread and mustard. The terrible thing to wake

00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:25.519
up to when you're really, really, really hungover.

00:21:25.660 --> 00:21:26.900
Well, you were vegetarian at the time too. And

00:21:26.900 --> 00:21:30.109
I was a vegetarian, yeah. doubly doubly not good

00:21:30.109 --> 00:21:33.230
this one got you off vegetarianism no did you

00:21:33.230 --> 00:21:38.430
eat the dogs yeah i'm pretty hungry yeah very

00:21:38.430 --> 00:21:40.829
bad it's already gonna wreak havoc on your system

00:21:40.829 --> 00:21:44.369
anyway might as well yeah you know make that

00:21:44.369 --> 00:21:48.730
first jail shit really worth it one that fucking

00:21:48.730 --> 00:21:51.690
gets everybody away from you like nah i don't

00:21:51.690 --> 00:21:55.109
want that ass i heard what happened and life

00:21:55.109 --> 00:21:57.549
ain't for the weak OK, so revenge tour starts.

00:21:58.210 --> 00:22:03.170
He goes to meet Q, Benjamin Bratt, who is owns

00:22:03.170 --> 00:22:07.069
a bar now called Q. Yeah, they're Q's place or

00:22:07.069 --> 00:22:10.190
some shit. I like Benjamin Bratt. Yeah, he's

00:22:10.190 --> 00:22:12.069
the only other like actually decent actor. The

00:22:12.069 --> 00:22:13.650
only other person in this movie I recognized.

00:22:14.089 --> 00:22:18.029
Yeah, I didn't. I don't know who that is. Benjamin

00:22:18.029 --> 00:22:19.750
Bratt. Yeah, I don't know. That's fine. Yeah,

00:22:19.829 --> 00:22:21.769
it doesn't matter. I'm really bad at faces and

00:22:21.769 --> 00:22:23.829
names and things like that, though. He replaced

00:22:23.829 --> 00:22:27.559
Jimmy Smith says. bail organa in various star

00:22:27.559 --> 00:22:31.079
wars properties oh okay that's nice yeah i you

00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:33.900
know what i'm for that jimmy schmitz was a little

00:22:33.900 --> 00:22:37.759
chubby i i don't like a fat bail organa doesn't

00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.180
do it for me give me that sleek slender slender

00:22:41.180 --> 00:22:46.500
bail organa aerodynamic billy bratt benjamin

00:22:46.500 --> 00:22:49.500
but benny bratt benny bratt i said it first the

00:22:49.500 --> 00:22:52.819
whole time yep Okay, Daryl, I want you to describe

00:22:52.819 --> 00:22:56.900
what happens with the dragon, though. So one

00:22:56.900 --> 00:22:58.940
of the only other named characters is a guy called

00:22:58.940 --> 00:23:02.440
Jimmy the Dragon, who Cage used to run with at

00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:05.619
some point. I feel like every character he meets

00:23:05.619 --> 00:23:07.819
is like, we used to have some fun back in the

00:23:07.819 --> 00:23:11.279
day, huh? Well, they're mobsters. How do you

00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:12.619
get another mobster so they don't talk like that?

00:23:13.900 --> 00:23:16.180
We're always reminiscent. Can't live in the present.

00:23:16.380 --> 00:23:19.690
Oh, we used to have some fun, huh? He has a dragon

00:23:19.690 --> 00:23:24.250
tattoo. He is at some kind of adult parlor where

00:23:24.250 --> 00:23:27.589
he suns around, full hoggies out. They don't

00:23:27.589 --> 00:23:29.269
call me the dragon because of my tattoo, it's

00:23:29.269 --> 00:23:31.029
because of my cock. They call me Jimmy the Dragon

00:23:31.029 --> 00:23:34.609
because of my dragon cock. And they have a little

00:23:34.609 --> 00:23:38.630
scuffle, at which point Jimmy the Dragon manages

00:23:38.630 --> 00:23:40.809
to get fully dressed into like a green tracksuit

00:23:40.809 --> 00:23:42.230
off camera, which is great. I didn't understand

00:23:42.230 --> 00:23:44.609
how he got fully dressed. When did that happen?

00:23:44.630 --> 00:23:46.730
He ran out of the room. Nick Cage runs after

00:23:46.730 --> 00:23:49.480
him and he like... The dragon tackles him in

00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:52.059
a full green tracksuit. Sprays him with an aerosol

00:23:52.059 --> 00:23:56.420
can. It's probably the same aerosol can that

00:23:56.420 --> 00:23:59.640
he painted that beard on with. That thing was

00:23:59.640 --> 00:24:02.619
filled in. I do like all the silk robes that

00:24:02.619 --> 00:24:05.559
came running out of the rooms. Yeah, they couldn't

00:24:05.559 --> 00:24:08.640
get past my cage. So then he escapes. My favorite

00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:10.640
part about the escape, though, Jimmy the dragon

00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:13.079
gets the upper hand, but as he runs off, he goes...

00:24:16.009 --> 00:24:19.710
I love it when bad guys run away and laugh. It's

00:24:19.710 --> 00:24:22.730
like, we'll meet again, Frank Carver. It's the

00:24:22.730 --> 00:24:27.269
last of all dragon boy here. Grabs onto a rope

00:24:27.269 --> 00:24:30.130
and flies away on a giant Chinese paper lantern.

00:24:30.609 --> 00:24:36.549
That was convenient and incredible. So the dragon's

00:24:36.549 --> 00:24:39.730
gone, but still in the wind somewhere. So then

00:24:39.730 --> 00:24:42.170
you go see the other guy, Tank, who's just like,

00:24:42.509 --> 00:24:45.529
I deserve this. A mellow butcher. Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:46.130 --> 00:24:50.930
Just hanging slab. Used to have some fun back

00:24:50.930 --> 00:24:58.589
in the day, huh? Frank, I'm pretty sorry. That's

00:24:58.589 --> 00:25:00.490
it. Didn't put up a fight. Nope. Yeah, what a

00:25:00.490 --> 00:25:03.210
fucking worthless scene. Like, it just shows

00:25:03.210 --> 00:25:06.509
up. Okay. The best part of that scene, though,

00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:09.170
is Frank just mowing down on that beef jerky

00:25:09.170 --> 00:25:13.230
stick that he walks in with. Well, and also Tank

00:25:13.230 --> 00:25:16.029
does the whole, like, doesn't see him come in

00:25:16.029 --> 00:25:20.490
and he's just like, Frank? Yeah, I heard you

00:25:20.490 --> 00:25:25.309
were in town. Oh, God. Aura. It's pure aura that

00:25:25.309 --> 00:25:29.829
he felt in that quick -stole that meat. What

00:25:29.829 --> 00:25:32.529
is a... It's a Nui Bol film, Dungeon Siege, one

00:25:32.529 --> 00:25:34.289
of his really bad, like, video game adaptations,

00:25:34.509 --> 00:25:36.950
which my friends went and saw in theaters and

00:25:36.950 --> 00:25:39.150
I'm like, no, I won't. Wasn't Christian Bale

00:25:39.150 --> 00:25:42.319
in that? he was in he was in one like terrible

00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:45.359
dungeon or dragon he's in a dragon a dragon movie

00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:47.259
it's not that it wasn't this has jason stay the

00:25:47.259 --> 00:25:49.880
minute but the first line of the movie is like

00:25:49.880 --> 00:25:52.559
this person comes into a shadowy room and the

00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:54.700
other character the room goes i felt you come

00:25:54.700 --> 00:26:02.579
before you came well i'm getting a tattoo and

00:26:02.579 --> 00:26:06.920
that's me with every sex worker ever Were they

00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:09.160
very complimentary? Absolutely. I was the best

00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:12.819
they'd ever had. Hey, baby, you laid there so

00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:19.599
good. Didn't cry once. Here's your gold star.

00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:22.480
God, now I'm just thinking about dream scenario

00:26:22.480 --> 00:26:27.440
in that hookup scene. Is it even sex if you don't

00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:31.640
cry? No. If you don't cry, how do you keep it

00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:33.519
wet? Yeah. That's right. What were you going

00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:36.609
to say, Daryl? like before this like frank and

00:26:36.609 --> 00:26:39.690
simone of raw dogs twice and then there's one

00:26:39.690 --> 00:26:42.390
said that she's riding him in that car my notes

00:26:42.390 --> 00:26:49.289
are just sex so good you see your dead wife yeah

00:26:49.289 --> 00:26:52.170
that's some good guilt right there could you

00:26:52.170 --> 00:26:55.690
tell me your real name she breaks all the rules

00:26:55.690 --> 00:26:59.769
for him for no reason i know like usually i don't

00:26:59.769 --> 00:27:02.059
tell people my real name But then also is like

00:27:02.059 --> 00:27:04.480
that guy freaked me the fuck out. Don't don't

00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:07.039
send me back to him. Yeah. Yeah. You showed him

00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.880
where you live and gave him your real name. Like

00:27:09.880 --> 00:27:13.220
this on you. Yeah, it's pretty weird. Yeah. Oh,

00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:15.839
she talked about her pimp, though. Yeah, he looked

00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:19.720
like he followed the Miami Heat. He looked like

00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:21.740
he belonged in that like a Jamie Kennedy sketch

00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:24.680
comedy show. I don't know if I'm joking that.

00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:26.880
So I'm going to stop there. Daryl, you want to

00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:29.410
get in on this circle? All I know about Jamie

00:27:29.410 --> 00:27:32.109
Kennedy is what he was in the Scream movie, and

00:27:32.109 --> 00:27:34.609
he had a series called X or something. It's like,

00:27:34.670 --> 00:27:37.730
you've been X'd. Yeah. Oh, the Jamie Kennedy

00:27:37.730 --> 00:27:40.690
experiment. Yeah. Jamie Kennedy experiment, that's

00:27:40.690 --> 00:27:44.150
it. I watched UPN in the late 90s. Yeah. You

00:27:44.150 --> 00:27:47.210
just got X'd. Frank, I think it's fair to say

00:27:47.210 --> 00:27:48.890
that if Jamie Kennedy popped out at the end of

00:27:48.890 --> 00:27:50.690
this when Cage was on the church step saying,

00:27:50.849 --> 00:27:54.630
hey, Frank, you just got X'd. You got X'd. The

00:27:54.630 --> 00:27:58.119
pimp was very much... we have logan paul at home

00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:01.740
yeah i don't know he's just like the the total

00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:04.180
stereotype of like a white guy pimp yeah yeah

00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:06.599
bucket hat and all yeah didn't have a good hat

00:28:06.599 --> 00:28:08.180
though needed a better he thinks he's cool he

00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:10.099
thinks he's hot shit he holds the gun all sideways

00:28:10.099 --> 00:28:13.160
cage beats the crap out of him scares him he

00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:16.059
probably poops his pants cage and him probably

00:28:16.059 --> 00:28:19.160
i mean cage is pretty old yeah and like infirm

00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:21.779
at this point well i don't know he's pretty firm

00:28:21.779 --> 00:28:26.230
with uh And this is the scene where the bellhops

00:28:26.230 --> 00:28:28.890
just kind of sit in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:28:28.950 --> 00:28:30.890
So it starts this. This other sex worker comes

00:28:30.890 --> 00:28:33.289
in is like, I'm whatever her name is. Sophie

00:28:33.289 --> 00:28:35.730
or whatever. Simone. Simone. You're not fucking

00:28:35.730 --> 00:28:38.210
Simone. And then she becomes a real bitch. And

00:28:38.210 --> 00:28:40.549
then he throws her out. And then immediately

00:28:40.549 --> 00:28:43.049
the pimp is there. Well, you have to be on site.

00:28:43.829 --> 00:28:46.250
Is that a pimp rule? It's a stripper rule for

00:28:46.250 --> 00:28:48.410
sure. Do you think that they were? I don't know.

00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:52.779
Pimp rules. like set on the name, like before

00:28:52.779 --> 00:28:55.539
they did any casting. Cause that chick doesn't

00:28:55.539 --> 00:28:59.900
have any kind of Simone energy. No, there's not

00:28:59.900 --> 00:29:03.000
even a vague Simone -ness about her. He clocked

00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:05.180
it too. He was like, you think you could be Simone?

00:29:05.299 --> 00:29:10.039
You ain't shit. I know my ethnic names. I think

00:29:10.039 --> 00:29:12.819
he's a direct quote is shut the fuck up and get

00:29:12.819 --> 00:29:16.059
out. You phony piece of shit. Like, yeah, let's

00:29:16.059 --> 00:29:19.549
go. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, I knew Simone

00:29:19.549 --> 00:29:23.890
definitely had Jersey Shore energy. Trip turns

00:29:23.890 --> 00:29:26.289
up immediately. And I might have misheard, but

00:29:26.289 --> 00:29:28.349
I'm certain he introduced himself earlier as

00:29:28.349 --> 00:29:30.170
like Trevor or something. And I was like, oh,

00:29:30.210 --> 00:29:32.509
Trevor the pimp, that sounds crazy. And then

00:29:32.509 --> 00:29:34.509
he's Trip. He's like, yeah, probably one of my

00:29:34.509 --> 00:29:38.009
girls. Because she's a whore. Like, Frank, I

00:29:38.009 --> 00:29:39.769
know you've been inside a long time, but we don't

00:29:39.769 --> 00:29:43.970
use that language anymore. I learned this is

00:29:43.970 --> 00:29:47.920
sex worker, but it's more fun to say whore. Hoor

00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:51.579
is okay. You gotta put the right amount of inflection

00:29:51.579 --> 00:29:56.160
and you can say it. That just sounds like you're

00:29:56.160 --> 00:30:03.640
doing a Johnny Bravo dance or something. He puts

00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:05.400
Tripp in a headlock and immediately does a Mr.

00:30:05.460 --> 00:30:13.200
Byrne impression. He goes, excellent. Some strong

00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:15.380
Cage quotes in the span of like two minutes.

00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:18.660
I think it's like in the third, third half, third

00:30:18.660 --> 00:30:23.400
half, third, third of this film. I got there

00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:25.859
in the end. The third quarter of this film with

00:30:25.859 --> 00:30:28.180
only three parts. I'm sweating, guys. I'm so

00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:33.160
hot. I can't. Literally melting down. This heat

00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:34.900
wave is nothing to joke about. I can't think.

00:30:35.420 --> 00:30:38.559
Like you were saying before, the first hour of

00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:40.700
this is like, oh, Cage isn't actually too bad

00:30:40.700 --> 00:30:43.279
in this for like a straight to DVD Cage film.

00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:45.799
And then you get into like the last 30 minutes

00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:50.259
and it's like, there he is. There he is. I had

00:30:50.259 --> 00:30:54.059
only ever seen that like last interaction with

00:30:54.059 --> 00:30:59.380
Q. So I watched this entire movie and I was just

00:30:59.380 --> 00:31:02.319
doubting the whole way. I was like, am I watching

00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:05.579
the right movie this week? Like, is this, this

00:31:05.579 --> 00:31:08.700
doesn't feel like the same movie. Like, I don't

00:31:08.700 --> 00:31:11.819
remember names from the clip. It definitely starts

00:31:11.819 --> 00:31:14.519
to ramp. I got concerned until we got to that

00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:18.079
church. So, yeah. Yeah. And then you're like,

00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:20.099
oh, I mean, the last seven minutes of the film.

00:31:20.160 --> 00:31:22.900
Yeah. Yeah. I wish we had more of this. So, yeah,

00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:26.880
it kind of like climaxes with him going to go.

00:31:26.900 --> 00:31:29.099
No, hang on. We got it. We got to talk Max first.

00:31:29.339 --> 00:31:31.640
Oh, yeah. So the old mob boss, the one he went

00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:34.839
to. went to jail for yeah he's just been in a

00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:37.039
coma for like the last 15 years yeah but yeah

00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:39.119
for some reason that's a secret yeah i don't

00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:41.700
know oh because q is using it as cover yeah yeah

00:31:41.700 --> 00:31:43.960
q is hiding that so that he could make all the

00:31:43.960 --> 00:31:47.259
decisions right so he goes and seems reasonable

00:31:47.259 --> 00:31:49.740
i would probably do the same if i could yeah

00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:52.380
that's pretty smart actually good job q yeah

00:31:52.380 --> 00:31:55.519
so he goes he sees this comatose dude bloody

00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:59.519
bat in hand ready to like bash it yeah bash the

00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:00.819
brains because he thinks he's still in charge

00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:03.440
But he spares him because he's already basically

00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:05.299
dead. And he would have done right by him if

00:32:05.299 --> 00:32:07.180
he weren't in a coma. Because he'd been in a

00:32:07.180 --> 00:32:09.599
coma the entire time. Yeah, he realized Max didn't

00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:11.180
screw him over because he couldn't have. Right.

00:32:11.799 --> 00:32:14.559
So he leaves the bloody bat there. Weird memento.

00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:18.640
In a weird, like, burying a knight of the round

00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:22.500
table kind of stance. And then as he's leaving,

00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:29.190
our boy shows up. and they have a shootout outside

00:32:29.190 --> 00:32:32.410
of a retirement community. There seems to be

00:32:32.410 --> 00:32:35.150
no urgency from inside the building. Well, they

00:32:35.150 --> 00:32:39.549
had silencers. Glass was shattering. Silently.

00:32:40.230 --> 00:32:44.410
The bullets silently shattered the glass. That's

00:32:44.410 --> 00:32:47.049
what it does. All the old folks are having Vietnam

00:32:47.049 --> 00:32:50.589
flashbacks inside. It's happening again. They're

00:32:50.589 --> 00:32:55.579
flipping tables. I was like, I heard explosions.

00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:58.660
This guy's shouting about his dick. Kept saying,

00:32:58.720 --> 00:33:01.579
I'm Jimmy the Dragon. I'm Jimmy the Dragon. Cage

00:33:01.579 --> 00:33:03.640
gets him from shooting his foot out from underneath

00:33:03.640 --> 00:33:06.500
the cars. They should have shown his dick. Yeah.

00:33:07.099 --> 00:33:10.039
That's a miss. Straight to DVD? What's the risk?

00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:13.220
Yeah, it's not even rated. Hang some dong. And

00:33:13.220 --> 00:33:14.519
then, yeah, takes him out. He's like, they're

00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:15.880
not going to call you the dragon anymore. Shoots

00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:18.279
him in the dick. And then leaves him alive. No,

00:33:18.519 --> 00:33:20.480
he shoots him in the head. Yeah, well, I mean,

00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:21.900
kills him, doesn't leave him alive is what I

00:33:21.900 --> 00:33:26.079
meant to say. Those are two very distinctly different

00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:27.420
sentences. The capping's starting to kick in.

00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:30.440
And they left him alive. It's so hot here, guys.

00:33:30.619 --> 00:33:35.420
By shooting him in the head. Oh, man. Oh, it's

00:33:35.420 --> 00:33:38.000
so hot. We've got World Cup fever, everyone.

00:33:38.140 --> 00:33:41.500
We've got World Cup fever. Oh, yeah, we got so

00:33:41.500 --> 00:33:44.440
much soccer here. No, but like... I mean, you

00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.519
shot him in the dick like and you know you're

00:33:46.519 --> 00:33:48.359
going to die. Let him leave him to suffer. Why

00:33:48.359 --> 00:33:51.160
are you killing Jimmy the Dragon? You got your

00:33:51.160 --> 00:33:53.799
revenge. I do agree with that. I mean, I think

00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:57.299
that it would be better if you shot him in both

00:33:57.299 --> 00:34:00.640
of his ankles, blew his dick off. I don't know.

00:34:00.740 --> 00:34:02.759
Give him some stigmata on his hands or something.

00:34:02.779 --> 00:34:04.420
So they're fucked up, too. Yeah. And you're like,

00:34:04.460 --> 00:34:06.960
all right, I would enjoy your shitty life. Taking

00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:09.539
a baseball bat and tried like a golf swing at

00:34:09.539 --> 00:34:12.030
his wiener. Oh, yeah. Just like. maybe a super

00:34:12.030 --> 00:34:15.130
cut of him just abusing the dragon's penis yeah

00:34:15.130 --> 00:34:18.070
just like a boot on there yeah he like wedges

00:34:18.070 --> 00:34:22.230
it up in a car door and like slams it or like

00:34:22.230 --> 00:34:26.469
rolls it up in the window like from inside it's

00:34:26.469 --> 00:34:31.329
just like speed bag in the other side yeah yeah

00:34:31.329 --> 00:34:33.690
oh just rolls his sack up in the window and then

00:34:33.690 --> 00:34:37.269
like slowly drives the car like ghost rides the

00:34:37.269 --> 00:34:41.590
whip oh my god Yeah, you're right. There are

00:34:41.590 --> 00:34:42.590
better things that could have happened to that

00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:45.610
guy's genitals. Yeah. I mean, I thought that,

00:34:45.610 --> 00:34:47.650
like, because they just let Frank leave prison

00:34:47.650 --> 00:34:49.369
with all those baseball bats, I was like, that

00:34:49.369 --> 00:34:51.670
seems a dangerous thing to do for an ex -con.

00:34:51.929 --> 00:34:54.010
I thought the explanation was going to be like,

00:34:54.110 --> 00:34:56.150
oh, I've made a baseball bat for each of the

00:34:56.150 --> 00:34:57.730
people that I'm going to go for. That would make

00:34:57.730 --> 00:35:01.949
more sense. A reparations bat. I'm just going

00:35:01.949 --> 00:35:04.389
to give them to children and keep the cycle going

00:35:04.389 --> 00:35:06.610
and, you know, do nothing to stop this violence

00:35:06.610 --> 00:35:08.889
and also boast to my ghost son that I'm actually

00:35:08.889 --> 00:35:12.389
a successful businessman. Right. What a waste.

00:35:12.610 --> 00:35:14.389
Whose dick still works and didn't get fucked

00:35:14.389 --> 00:35:17.329
in prison. Mm -hmm. Yeah. I think he got fucked

00:35:17.329 --> 00:35:20.829
in prison. Got fucked or did the fucking? I think

00:35:20.829 --> 00:35:23.469
he got fucked. Mm -hmm. Because his subconscious

00:35:23.469 --> 00:35:25.309
was giving him shit about that, and he's like,

00:35:25.369 --> 00:35:28.650
no, no. That's true. Never happened. That's a

00:35:28.650 --> 00:35:31.469
good point. Since his son was fake the whole

00:35:31.469 --> 00:35:35.610
time. Mm -hmm. He was? Oh, no. Yeah. The big

00:35:35.610 --> 00:35:37.510
reveal at the gravestone is like, ugh, Jesus

00:35:37.510 --> 00:35:39.289
Christ. I will admit, I did not go into this

00:35:39.289 --> 00:35:41.659
movie in a... good headspace and i was really

00:35:41.659 --> 00:35:46.659
exhausted so i missed uh joey like phasing in

00:35:46.659 --> 00:35:50.400
oh at the beginning yeah and uh so when the reveal

00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.000
happened i wasn't shocked but i was like yeah

00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:55.739
it makes sense no that tracks i probably should

00:35:55.739 --> 00:35:58.460
have clocked that when uh joey was sitting there

00:35:58.460 --> 00:36:02.219
off screen and uh cages like i don't know mourning

00:36:02.219 --> 00:36:06.239
his dead wife uh and he's like oh this kid's

00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:11.449
was only 15 and i was like fucking joey quit

00:36:11.449 --> 00:36:13.389
looking at your own grave and then it pans over

00:36:13.389 --> 00:36:15.710
to his grave but he was alive for like 20 years

00:36:15.710 --> 00:36:17.570
yeah he was talking about a different kid yeah

00:36:17.570 --> 00:36:20.690
what a dumb line yeah there's a lot of dumb shit

00:36:20.690 --> 00:36:22.849
in this it's a really poorly written movie yeah

00:36:22.849 --> 00:36:27.949
until until our favorite scene and daryl's favorite

00:36:27.949 --> 00:36:31.610
scene which is the ending where they go to q's

00:36:31.610 --> 00:36:34.880
daughter's wedding and uh Because he figured

00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.599
out everything that Q had done. Yeah, because

00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:41.179
Q is the baddie. And ultimately, Q had killed

00:36:41.179 --> 00:36:43.179
his son or had his son killed because he was

00:36:43.179 --> 00:36:45.239
a liability and a druggie and all that kind of

00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:48.860
shit. The fact that his son was murdered kind

00:36:48.860 --> 00:36:50.340
of comes out of nowhere because I just assumed

00:36:50.340 --> 00:36:52.860
he died of a heroin overdose. Yeah. There's just

00:36:52.860 --> 00:36:54.739
a lot of exposition at the end of this film and

00:36:54.739 --> 00:36:57.239
it's all drunk like this because he hasn't slept

00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:00.719
in days. Yeah, and every shot is sort of blurry.

00:37:02.110 --> 00:37:03.809
And it's like cuts back and forth between like

00:37:03.809 --> 00:37:06.869
a granite wall where the murder happened. Right.

00:37:07.070 --> 00:37:09.929
And Q's daughter's there because it's her wedding.

00:37:09.969 --> 00:37:12.409
And he's I thought he was going to kill the daughter

00:37:12.409 --> 00:37:14.889
as like revenge. But he's like, get out of here.

00:37:14.969 --> 00:37:18.150
And then she stays. His score to settle wasn't

00:37:18.150 --> 00:37:21.409
with the daughter, though. No. And the ghost

00:37:21.409 --> 00:37:24.730
boy also said to him, like, you know what they

00:37:24.730 --> 00:37:26.829
say about going on a journey of vengeance? You're

00:37:26.829 --> 00:37:28.590
going to need a lot of graves. It's like, no,

00:37:28.710 --> 00:37:31.889
go live your life in happiness, old man. I'm

00:37:31.889 --> 00:37:36.429
going to go kill a man now. It's like the ghost

00:37:36.429 --> 00:37:40.110
of his kids saying, like, the ghost of the person

00:37:40.110 --> 00:37:42.389
he assumes is kids, which is really him talking

00:37:42.389 --> 00:37:47.250
to himself. What was the dumb quote, like the

00:37:47.250 --> 00:37:51.369
Timo Dr. Seuss quote? Dr. Seuss quote that Joey

00:37:51.369 --> 00:37:53.090
busts out all the time. It's like, you've got

00:37:53.090 --> 00:37:56.369
another day to try again or whatever. Some stupid

00:37:56.369 --> 00:37:59.670
shit like that. The writer definitely thought

00:37:59.670 --> 00:38:02.949
it sounded deeper than it was. He confronts Q

00:38:02.949 --> 00:38:08.170
and his daughter and it's this whole thing. I'll

00:38:08.170 --> 00:38:11.349
just lead it in for you, Daryl. Q's like, don't

00:38:11.349 --> 00:38:16.929
worry. He's only got beef with me. Beef! Beef!

00:38:18.059 --> 00:38:20.559
You think beef is an accurate description of

00:38:20.559 --> 00:38:30.619
what I've got with your father? Beef! Beef! So

00:38:30.619 --> 00:38:33.179
when you remember, though, that the whole film

00:38:33.179 --> 00:38:36.300
he's been dealing with confusion, delirium, paranoia,

00:38:36.340 --> 00:38:38.639
hallucinations, and death, and the one thing

00:38:38.639 --> 00:38:41.239
he's meant to do is sleep, and he doesn't do

00:38:41.239 --> 00:38:43.900
it. One of those sort of deliveries. Not once.

00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:47.420
It's one of those out of context. It's insane.

00:38:47.539 --> 00:38:49.679
In context, it's not much better, but it kind

00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:54.159
of makes sense. Honey, you think honey is what

00:38:54.159 --> 00:38:59.380
I've got with your father piglet? I'm obliged

00:38:59.380 --> 00:39:02.480
for one Winnie the Pooh per episode. It is true.

00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:07.860
It's your contract. Oh my God. It's so funny.

00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:09.880
I'm just thinking of piglet with Benjamin Bratz

00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:14.329
goatee. It's a vibe. Yeah. I love that scene

00:39:14.329 --> 00:39:18.210
so much. I had seen it on like a cage supercut

00:39:18.210 --> 00:39:20.530
or whatever and was like, what the fuck is this

00:39:20.530 --> 00:39:23.210
movie? I cannot wait to see it. And it doesn't

00:39:23.210 --> 00:39:25.610
let me down. Anytime I watch that clip. Yeah.

00:39:25.690 --> 00:39:28.269
Oh, that clip is a banger. He's he's so like

00:39:28.269 --> 00:39:36.059
sweaty and strung out and meaty and like. But

00:39:36.059 --> 00:39:38.260
then he like, he chooses to forgive and just,

00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:40.820
he puts the gun down and walks away. Today's

00:39:40.820 --> 00:39:43.239
the day to try again. Yeah. And then the daughter

00:39:43.239 --> 00:39:46.019
shoots him in the back. Yeah. It's like, you

00:39:46.019 --> 00:39:49.739
were safe, bitch. You were safe. Yeah. Top 10,

00:39:49.739 --> 00:39:54.099
top 10 anime betrayals right there. And the fact

00:39:54.099 --> 00:39:57.199
that he just turns around is like, and then he

00:39:57.199 --> 00:39:59.519
just rocks it off and walks out. He just kind

00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:01.360
of looks over his shoulder. It's like, might

00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.639
as well just wink while he's at it. Like, and

00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:06.429
then just leave. So then the cops are there.

00:40:06.530 --> 00:40:09.110
Fuck cops. Yeah. No need for him to go down to

00:40:09.110 --> 00:40:10.829
the blaze of glory. It's like you're bleeding

00:40:10.829 --> 00:40:12.869
out anyway. You've been shot like twice already.

00:40:13.590 --> 00:40:15.590
It's like, ah, fuck. Yeah. They could have had

00:40:15.590 --> 00:40:18.409
him just like fall down at the altar area and

00:40:18.409 --> 00:40:19.929
like have a chat with his son. And that's it.

00:40:20.050 --> 00:40:24.050
You know, I did like when he go, when they training

00:40:24.050 --> 00:40:27.190
day him on the, on the steps. And then like,

00:40:27.210 --> 00:40:29.570
he goes to like fall down and you can just like,

00:40:29.670 --> 00:40:31.289
see him like gently sit himself down and like

00:40:31.289 --> 00:40:34.349
lean back and then kick one leg out. Yeah. That

00:40:34.349 --> 00:40:38.099
was good. just get comfortable yeah then he had

00:40:38.099 --> 00:40:40.900
like the bloody mouth and his son shows up again

00:40:40.900 --> 00:40:43.340
and i'm sure his son said something that was

00:40:43.340 --> 00:40:46.500
intended to be profound it is completely like

00:40:46.500 --> 00:40:48.820
rolled out of my smooth brain at this point like

00:40:48.820 --> 00:40:51.019
i have no clue what that kid says and then the

00:40:51.019 --> 00:40:53.219
movie is just done it's not anything it's like

00:40:53.219 --> 00:40:54.860
he it's like why are you still here he's like

00:40:54.860 --> 00:40:55.820
i don't know i thought we could hang out some

00:40:55.820 --> 00:40:58.800
more like that's it that's it's not anything

00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:00.659
deep thought we had a pretty chill time i don't

00:41:00.659 --> 00:41:04.239
know that was more or less it oh god that's and

00:41:04.239 --> 00:41:08.699
he just goes i like that and then end of movie

00:41:08.699 --> 00:41:12.460
yeah yeah yeah you bought your ghost so obviously

00:41:12.460 --> 00:41:15.800
this is a 10 out of 10 yeah oh do you think they

00:41:15.800 --> 00:41:19.880
rescheduled the wedding nah you fucking just

00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:21.500
write it are you kidding me that place looked

00:41:21.500 --> 00:41:24.539
very difficult to book yeah you just finish it

00:41:24.539 --> 00:41:27.559
yeah Plus, nobody remembers a wedding that has

00:41:27.559 --> 00:41:30.039
no flaws. You remember the important, like, weird

00:41:30.039 --> 00:41:32.679
ones. Remember when Uncle Frankie came to our

00:41:32.679 --> 00:41:34.139
wedding and threatened to kill us all? Yeah.

00:41:34.420 --> 00:41:37.619
With all those cops there, you know it was probably

00:41:37.619 --> 00:41:39.699
pretty easy for them to get a witness for the

00:41:39.699 --> 00:41:42.880
certificate. That's a good point. Very good point.

00:41:42.940 --> 00:41:44.599
I do like how all the bridesmaids just ran out

00:41:44.599 --> 00:41:47.579
past Q and no one thought to mention, he's got

00:41:47.579 --> 00:41:51.440
a gun. Yeah. Gun man inside. Fucking weirdos.

00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:57.530
Broads. Yeah, I tell ya. So, Daryl, what's your

00:41:57.530 --> 00:41:59.789
take on this movie overall? I mean, overall,

00:42:00.090 --> 00:42:03.889
I think what he had, he settled two of four of

00:42:03.889 --> 00:42:06.489
his scores. He settled with Jimmy the Dragon

00:42:06.489 --> 00:42:09.289
in Tank. Max is already in a coma, so he let

00:42:09.289 --> 00:42:13.250
him off. He let Q off the hook. So not all of

00:42:13.250 --> 00:42:15.769
the scores were settled. Just some of them, because

00:42:15.769 --> 00:42:17.630
his ghost son talked him out of the one thing

00:42:17.630 --> 00:42:20.599
that's kept him alive for 19 years. But he had

00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:23.159
some nice visions of his dead family. He got

00:42:23.159 --> 00:42:27.440
to bang before he went out. He did some donuts.

00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:32.539
He did some donuts. He drank some whiskeys. Drank

00:42:32.539 --> 00:42:34.679
some whiskeys. He had a quote when they were

00:42:34.679 --> 00:42:37.659
watch shopping. He sang, please bring me my watches.

00:42:39.500 --> 00:42:42.079
Oh, he played the piano and sung that weird rainbow

00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:44.840
song too. That was a good one. I liked the song

00:42:44.840 --> 00:42:47.980
on the piano. according to imdb he genuinely

00:42:47.980 --> 00:42:51.380
learned the piano for this role i mean you know

00:42:51.380 --> 00:42:53.599
that's our boy yeah fine show where you can uh

00:42:53.599 --> 00:42:57.860
he gives simone a hundred grand and then meets

00:42:57.860 --> 00:43:00.320
her son who is way too big to be in that stroller

00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.920
absolutely that upset me so much i'm like that

00:43:02.920 --> 00:43:05.980
that's a lazy fat fucking kid maybe that kid's

00:43:05.980 --> 00:43:08.179
got gout and he can't walk because he's so fucking

00:43:08.179 --> 00:43:11.690
fat That was a 15 -year -old boy in that stroller,

00:43:11.769 --> 00:43:14.469
and I will not take it. He had a fucking mustache.

00:43:14.889 --> 00:43:17.889
Whose name was Joey. Or as he said it, Joey.

00:43:21.010 --> 00:43:24.250
Pick the tobacco out from his teeth and kind

00:43:24.250 --> 00:43:27.329
of spits this out. It's Joey, mister. I'm going

00:43:27.329 --> 00:43:29.889
back to my nap. We had some good times there,

00:43:29.929 --> 00:43:34.030
Frankie Fingers. What? His mom told him about

00:43:34.030 --> 00:43:36.610
it. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, she found out about Frankie

00:43:36.610 --> 00:43:42.079
Fingers. Yeah. Yeah. I think he had a good time.

00:43:42.099 --> 00:43:43.860
I enjoyed this podcast more than I enjoyed this

00:43:43.860 --> 00:43:46.780
movie. I feel like that's usually how it goes

00:43:46.780 --> 00:43:51.079
with the bad ones. I liked when he saw the hotel

00:43:51.079 --> 00:43:52.960
maid in his room. He's like, oh no, you finished

00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:55.820
your job. He immediately collapses and she walks

00:43:55.820 --> 00:43:57.860
over. He was like, I blow English. And she's

00:43:57.860 --> 00:44:02.460
like, no. And leaves. You cannot get the stuff

00:44:02.460 --> 00:44:06.320
these days. Well, I definitely would have feigned

00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:09.000
ignorance also if I had just scooped up and stolen

00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.559
all of this guy's GHB pills or whatever. I do.

00:44:12.559 --> 00:44:16.179
Oh, no, no, no. Blowing glass. I do like how.

00:44:16.860 --> 00:44:20.480
No, no. Has like has a fight with a pimp in his

00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:24.579
room that involves a gun. He goes out and comes

00:44:24.579 --> 00:44:26.599
back to the hotel and they just let him right

00:44:26.599 --> 00:44:29.139
back in. I know they open the fucking door for

00:44:29.139 --> 00:44:32.179
him. Money goes a long way. He's in the presidential

00:44:32.179 --> 00:44:34.679
suite. That's diplomatic immunity in any hotel.

00:44:35.260 --> 00:44:39.860
I mean, that floor's got its own pimp. That's

00:44:39.860 --> 00:44:42.199
a good point. She did come out of another room.

00:44:43.079 --> 00:44:45.980
And then straight into his. That's just smart

00:44:45.980 --> 00:44:48.980
business sense. That's good business sense. I

00:44:48.980 --> 00:44:51.320
think my other favorite line is just before he

00:44:51.320 --> 00:44:53.000
meets Jimmy the Dragon, he's got the gun in his

00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.340
hand and he goes, bitches, leave. And I was like,

00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:59.480
that's tough. That's tough. I like it. I like

00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:02.030
that. That is a good one, yeah. Oh, Jimmy the

00:45:02.030 --> 00:45:04.650
Dragon. He didn't give Simone's kid a baseball

00:45:04.650 --> 00:45:07.829
bat. I know he fucked up. He had at least one

00:45:07.829 --> 00:45:10.750
more clacking around in there. You think the

00:45:10.750 --> 00:45:12.969
writer just forgot about the whole baseball bat

00:45:12.969 --> 00:45:15.670
thing by halfway through the movie? I think the

00:45:15.670 --> 00:45:17.630
writer forgot about a lot of things throughout

00:45:17.630 --> 00:45:21.349
this movie. Yeah. It's pretty bad. Yeah. This

00:45:21.349 --> 00:45:23.190
is definitely on the list of don't watch it.

00:45:23.289 --> 00:45:25.469
Yeah. Do watch a Nick Cage supercut and enjoy

00:45:25.469 --> 00:45:29.519
the beef quotes. Yeah. That's it. That's kind

00:45:29.519 --> 00:45:32.380
of it. I think this might be in my bottom three.

00:45:33.340 --> 00:45:37.460
Of all the movies? Yeah. Wow. Boy, I'd have to

00:45:37.460 --> 00:45:38.960
think about that. Yeah, where do you slot this

00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:43.679
one, Daryl? I mean, I think there is an argument

00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:49.280
for bottom 10. I mean, this is the thing that

00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:52.519
Cage isn't particularly bad. It's just the entire

00:45:52.519 --> 00:45:56.320
film is just not good. It's just very bland.

00:45:56.800 --> 00:45:59.559
We joked about earlier, you can predict within

00:45:59.559 --> 00:46:01.960
the first five minutes that the son is dead and

00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:04.960
has been dead the whole time. You kind of see

00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:07.619
where it's going. And you get that caginess,

00:46:07.719 --> 00:46:11.260
but you can tell it's straight to DVD fare because

00:46:11.260 --> 00:46:13.619
a lot of Cage movies at this time are very fucking

00:46:13.619 --> 00:46:16.019
similar. You could roughly describe the plot.

00:46:16.119 --> 00:46:17.900
It could be seven different other Cage movies

00:46:17.900 --> 00:46:22.219
in the 2010s. Yeah. It's probably going through

00:46:22.219 --> 00:46:27.590
them chronologically. yeah so yeah so 2019 he

00:46:27.590 --> 00:46:31.130
did color out of space great movie this one running

00:46:31.130 --> 00:46:32.650
with the devil which we haven't seen yet but

00:46:32.650 --> 00:46:35.369
we will soon um kill chain which we did watch

00:46:35.369 --> 00:46:38.510
as a bonus episode yeah primal and which is a

00:46:38.510 --> 00:46:41.070
banger i mean the movie sucks shit but we had

00:46:41.070 --> 00:46:44.170
fun best of 2019 and grand isle which i've heard

00:46:44.170 --> 00:46:46.869
as like it's one of the worst of the entire batch

00:46:46.869 --> 00:46:51.190
so i just for this movie i mean why i rank this

00:46:51.190 --> 00:46:54.199
one so low is just because I feel like most other

00:46:54.199 --> 00:46:57.280
things we see him in, I see why he's doing it.

00:46:57.360 --> 00:46:59.579
And I'm like, there's nothing of value in this

00:46:59.579 --> 00:47:02.440
film other than like his great performance at

00:47:02.440 --> 00:47:06.099
the end. But I'm just like, nothing else in this

00:47:06.099 --> 00:47:10.139
film was done with any care or intention. Yeah,

00:47:10.179 --> 00:47:11.699
it's weird. Just think about like why he would

00:47:11.699 --> 00:47:14.340
have wanted to do this movie. Like what enticed

00:47:14.340 --> 00:47:16.119
him? This definitely feels like he didn't do

00:47:16.119 --> 00:47:19.659
an accent. No, definitely for the money. Yeah.

00:47:20.139 --> 00:47:21.800
I think that's okay to do things for the money,

00:47:21.860 --> 00:47:26.760
though. Yeah. Also, $450 ,000 to go away for

00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:29.579
five years. Yeah. I guess that was 90s money.

00:47:30.260 --> 00:47:33.300
I mean, that's pretty decent. You're getting

00:47:33.300 --> 00:47:36.300
paid to go to prison, you know, for $100 ,000

00:47:36.300 --> 00:47:40.099
a year -ish. Non -taxed. Yeah. But then 19 years.

00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:43.460
Hardly seems worth it. No, fuck that, for sure.

00:47:44.280 --> 00:47:47.860
Two hots and a cot ain't doing it. No. Did get

00:47:47.860 --> 00:47:51.320
some mean basketball woodturning skills. Baseball.

00:47:52.159 --> 00:47:53.940
Basketball woodturning skills would be fucking

00:47:53.940 --> 00:47:57.440
tight as hell. There's wooden basketball. I don't

00:47:57.440 --> 00:47:59.619
need you correcting me today. It's Con Air Day.

00:47:59.860 --> 00:48:01.460
It's Con Air Day. It's Con Air Day. This on Con

00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:05.159
Air Day? How dare you fucking slap in the face.

00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:07.780
Yeah, there will be no corrections on Con Air

00:48:07.780 --> 00:48:13.360
Day. Only alternative facts on Con Air Day. Yeah,

00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:19.320
exactly. um yeah this is not in my mind that

00:48:19.320 --> 00:48:22.639
i mean it's not a great film but when i stack

00:48:22.639 --> 00:48:26.340
it up against things like inconceivable and which

00:48:26.340 --> 00:48:27.980
one was inconceivable that's the one where she

00:48:27.980 --> 00:48:32.679
couldn't conceive so she was going and taking

00:48:32.679 --> 00:48:35.619
all her adopted yeah like the egg donor babies

00:48:35.619 --> 00:48:38.260
yeah she collected them like pokemon or some

00:48:38.260 --> 00:48:46.079
shit it was just fucking crazy It gave me that

00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:50.519
awesome IMDb review. She didn't need to take

00:48:50.519 --> 00:48:52.820
her top off. We know how good of an actor she

00:48:52.820 --> 00:49:01.079
is. Oh, Nikki Whelan. Yeah, I mean, like Left

00:49:01.079 --> 00:49:03.119
Behind is way up there in my least favorites.

00:49:03.619 --> 00:49:06.579
As bad as Left Behind is, I can see whoever made

00:49:06.579 --> 00:49:10.099
it cared. Poorly, but someone cared about that

00:49:10.099 --> 00:49:13.519
movie at one point. I don't think caring. is

00:49:13.519 --> 00:49:17.139
enough of an excuse when it sucks though because

00:49:17.139 --> 00:49:20.860
if you care a lot and you can't make something

00:49:20.860 --> 00:49:24.579
that like makes me want to care about it i mean

00:49:24.579 --> 00:49:27.199
it's no stronger to me that's fair not caring

00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:30.159
and making me not care that's fine i mean yeah

00:49:30.159 --> 00:49:32.219
you know teach their own i just like i'd rather

00:49:32.219 --> 00:49:35.900
see someone fail at something they actually wanted

00:49:35.900 --> 00:49:39.840
to make rather than whatever this was i'm pleasantly

00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:44.199
uh tickled anytime someone fails and i get to

00:49:44.199 --> 00:49:48.440
watch i think i could say that this is in a bottom

00:49:48.440 --> 00:49:53.639
20 ish 2025 ish for me only because it's like

00:49:53.639 --> 00:49:58.820
the action was relatively lame and whatnot but

00:49:58.820 --> 00:50:01.619
you know this put this pushed a dog eat dog up

00:50:01.619 --> 00:50:05.699
in my book oh that's rough yeah i hate that movie

00:50:05.699 --> 00:50:09.639
well daryl any final thoughts on this If nothing

00:50:09.639 --> 00:50:13.400
else, some great lines, some great quotes, and

00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:19.920
it makes you want to eat beef! Beef! Beef? Just

00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:23.360
saying beef like that has been a consistent stim

00:50:23.360 --> 00:50:25.840
for me ever since I watched this film for the

00:50:25.840 --> 00:50:28.500
first time a few years ago. Both for podcast

00:50:28.500 --> 00:50:32.400
-related reasons, not for recreational fun. Yeah.

00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:37.099
It's not great. It's just another in like...

00:50:38.179 --> 00:50:43.360
Cage's 2010 landfill era post 2013 to 2020. This

00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:45.260
is the kind of film that you'll find for like,

00:50:45.320 --> 00:50:49.139
let me convert it for you fiends, a dollar in

00:50:49.139 --> 00:50:50.980
one of your charity stores in like a bargain

00:50:50.980 --> 00:50:53.940
bin. Hell yeah. What's a charity store? Like

00:50:53.940 --> 00:50:57.699
a Goodwill. Yeah. I think the only good thing

00:50:57.699 --> 00:50:59.840
is to see if someone's made like a super cut

00:50:59.840 --> 00:51:03.820
of this or just watch the beef scene. That's

00:51:03.820 --> 00:51:06.880
the only scene you're playing for. um because

00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:11.760
nothing about this matters at all um three out

00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:13.639
of ten three and a half if i'm being generous

00:51:13.639 --> 00:51:16.780
add a push for his cage isn't terrible in it

00:51:16.780 --> 00:51:19.880
everything about it is i think that's the fairest

00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:23.059
thing i can say yeah yeah that's that's pretty

00:51:23.059 --> 00:51:26.960
solid i think this movie could easily benefit

00:51:26.960 --> 00:51:31.219
from us just reshooting the various scores that

00:51:31.219 --> 00:51:35.230
he settles and then cutting them in And pretending

00:51:35.230 --> 00:51:38.849
like it was always that way. Yeah. Like we put

00:51:38.849 --> 00:51:42.630
Sean in a Nicolas Cage wig and you get to paint

00:51:42.630 --> 00:51:45.750
on your beard for the dragon for the dragon.

00:51:46.050 --> 00:51:48.510
And then we just really amp up that fight. We

00:51:48.510 --> 00:51:51.050
just really beat your balls up. Yeah. All right,

00:51:51.070 --> 00:51:53.110
let's do it. We got Sean for the rest of the

00:51:53.110 --> 00:51:57.150
day. Yeah, I can be sad tank. Yeah. Yeah, I like

00:51:57.150 --> 00:51:59.130
it. We can break down and have a real emotional

00:51:59.130 --> 00:52:02.340
moment. still around some beef around some beef

00:52:02.340 --> 00:52:06.980
around a bunch of beef maybe this movie's deeper

00:52:06.980 --> 00:52:08.320
than i thought because there was a lot of beef

00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:10.000
in that scene where he's one of the few times

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.760
he squashed his beef that's true surrounded by

00:52:12.760 --> 00:52:15.579
beef yeah that's beef all the way down i don't

00:52:15.579 --> 00:52:17.900
know if he squashed his beef he did just uh shoot

00:52:17.900 --> 00:52:20.179
the guy in the head yeah that's true also i'm

00:52:20.179 --> 00:52:21.500
just like cool we're gonna get like we're gonna

00:52:21.500 --> 00:52:24.280
get an old guy fight scene in a deli like that

00:52:24.280 --> 00:52:26.760
meat hook's gonna come into play fighting amongst

00:52:26.760 --> 00:52:29.400
a bunch of hanging meat yeah Could have been

00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:31.679
tight. Incredible. I love that. Classy movie

00:52:31.679 --> 00:52:33.940
move. Didn't do it. Yeah. Really missed out.

00:52:34.760 --> 00:52:38.559
Maybe they didn't have the beef budget. All right.

00:52:38.579 --> 00:52:40.380
Well, I think that's kind of it, right? Yeah.

00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:42.860
I can't think of a single thing else I want to

00:52:42.860 --> 00:52:45.659
say about this movie. Yeah. Well, we're back

00:52:45.659 --> 00:52:47.960
on our regular cadence. This will come out just

00:52:47.960 --> 00:52:50.739
after 4th of July. So hopefully we'll celebrate

00:52:50.739 --> 00:52:54.659
the 250th anniversary with Trump being dead or

00:52:54.659 --> 00:52:56.920
something like that. But I'll be shits his pants

00:52:56.920 --> 00:52:59.590
and dies at the party. Falls in the reflecting

00:52:59.590 --> 00:53:02.530
pool. That would be a good way to go. The algae

00:53:02.530 --> 00:53:05.400
just like eats him. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, so

00:53:05.400 --> 00:53:07.619
next up we've got running with the devil, which,

00:53:07.659 --> 00:53:10.420
um, I don't know that much. It does have Lawrence

00:53:10.420 --> 00:53:12.260
Fishburne. So that should be kind of interesting.

00:53:12.659 --> 00:53:15.360
Don't spoil it for us, Daryl. I know, I know

00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:18.139
we're in the only bad movies zone of our podcast.

00:53:18.500 --> 00:53:21.860
So, but, uh, if you are interested in supporting

00:53:21.860 --> 00:53:25.159
us, we are on Patreon at cage match and, uh,

00:53:25.219 --> 00:53:27.300
thank you to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie,

00:53:27.300 --> 00:53:29.840
Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart, and Willow. And to

00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:32.380
our gauge dancers, John, Freeman, Nathan, and

00:53:32.380 --> 00:53:34.420
Cameron. And, of course, to Bill Panks for our

00:53:34.420 --> 00:53:37.760
intro music. Thank you very much. And that's

00:53:37.760 --> 00:53:40.239
kind of it. I feel like there's nothing left

00:53:40.239 --> 00:53:45.179
to say except beef? Beef? Beef? Beef? Daryl,

00:53:45.179 --> 00:53:48.159
do you want to plug anything before you go? Beef?

00:53:49.139 --> 00:53:52.300
Beef? Keep eating beef? Do you think beef is

00:53:52.300 --> 00:53:54.059
an accurate description of what I've got with

00:53:54.059 --> 00:53:58.099
you, President? Yeah, Cage Rage, Nicholas Cage

00:53:58.099 --> 00:54:02.440
podcast. Recently released episode on gunslingers.

00:54:02.699 --> 00:54:07.719
I got beads for my hair. And Cage Rage is one.

00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:12.860
Oh, God, I'm so hot. I'd like to plug AC. I think

00:54:12.860 --> 00:54:16.219
air conditioning is an underdeveloped thing in

00:54:16.219 --> 00:54:19.219
the UK and a heat wave. And Getting Defoe You,

00:54:19.340 --> 00:54:21.219
a Woodham Defoe podcast with me and fellow...

00:54:22.059 --> 00:54:24.380
Cage Acolyte, Mr. Petros Patsilovas covering

00:54:24.380 --> 00:54:26.340
all the dahis, all the dahlos, and all things

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Willem Dafoe. I'm so wet. You have no idea how

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wet I am. I am beef. I am beef dripping over

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here. You are beef wet. Sloppy steaks. Sloppy

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steaks. Slop them up, boys. Good to see you,

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Daryl. Pleasure as always. Go melt now. Bye -bye.