Oh, God. Oh, my God. How was your happy ending?
Oh, so good. Got a nice facial. It took me 10
minutes. Yeah. That was probably all cleanup
time. Like they needed to mop him down. It wasn't
a towel up. They mopped him down. Get the sham.
Wow. The first time I got a went and got a facial,
they had me down for a chest facial. What is
a chest facial? It's the same exfoliation and
like stuff. But on your chest, I don't know.
But I'm like, I always thought that was called
a pearl necklace. But that's. And we're back.
And we're back. How was the show, guys? It was
fun. Yeah, we had a good time. Yeah, it was a
nearly full house, which was great. Awesome.
Most of the reactions I got from it was like,
what the fuck is this movie? Yeah. Who wrote
this thing? Some guy. Yeah. Just some guy. It's
an interesting movie. So we did an airing of
Prisoners of Ghostland here. I love that movie.
I think it's really dumb and really fun, but
it feels like it should have just tried harder.
Yeah, governor. It should have tried harder just
being weird. Like it kind of is predictable the
entire way. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, you know,
you've got like an escape from New York or whatever.
That's what you're watching. And the the unpredictable
moments. are probably the strongest. Like when
he just gets out, gets on the bike and rides
away. Like, why? What's the point? And then like
two seconds later, Yasujiro brings the car. He's
like, hmm, time is of the essence. It's like,
OK. That movie feels like it's trying way too
hard to be like a cult classic. And I kind of
want it to be. It's got a lot of good call and
responses. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the audience enjoyed
it. I think that was the thing that I really
loved about that experience is that everyone
seemed to like shout at the screen just how I
wanted to. Yeah. Nice. It helps that, you know,
alcohol was served. Oh, absolutely. We had Pete.
Yeah. That does most of the work. Heavy lifting
is done. Yeah. He didn't even fall asleep. No,
he stayed awake the whole movie. Yeah, it's amazing.
I mean, you know, once one testicle goes, you
got to wait. You got to be there for the second.
You never know. It's true. One testicle. Sorry,
my stupid cat needs her stupid kidneys to live.
They don't have like a cat dialysis. Is that
for kidneys? I'm not paying for that. Yeah. Okay.
I don't know. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine a
fucking cat strapped up to a machine just sitting
there peacefully for hours, listening to some
dude talk about fucking best goddamn chicken
wings in the country and the world. Yeah. Oh,
so good. I loved our real one. I'm ready to just
talk about that. We'll do a movie showing of
that at some point. Can we just talk about movies
we like this week? Cause I don't, I don't want
to talk about two 11. So, okay. I I'm actually
kind of pissed about this. So I called it two
11 in the car with Nick and Josie, as we were
going to the movie showing last night. And apparently
we're all wrong. And it is a two one one and
they call it that in the movie. And when I heard
it, I was like, Oh fuck. Yeah. I don't like it.
When did they, when did they say it? I just watched
this movie last night and I can't, i can tell
you very few things about it so steve the like
son -in -law of nick cage he's the one who calls
it in as like we got a potential two one one
in action what's a two is that a bank robbery
yeah it's a robbery yeah such a dumb name for
such a dumb movie also speaking of dumb things
welcome back to cage match calling around about
we've been meeting nicholas cage i am peaking
i am No, I'm peaking. That's who I am now. That
sounds racially charged. I'm Sean. Peaking Sean.
Peaking Sean. For those who aren't watching the
video, he does have his eyeballs taped backwards.
It's for my facial. Okay. Speaking of racism,
though. You're with my co -host. Nick. Speaking
of racism, Nick. Yeah. and hi i'm producer peter
welcome back everybody and anyone new we're sorry
yeah no we're not thanks for joining in if we
were truly sorry we would have stopped this long
ago they so okay so the racism thing did you
guys catch that moment yeah like in the beginning
like when they were so hard oh yeah i thought
this was just gonna be like wow okay shitty racist
cop like i mean normal comes around yeah right
and it it's kind of that yeah It's like, oh,
we're going to hassle the homeless guy and like
just search his bags for no reason. Like, I'm
pretty sure about a specific line, though. Oh,
oh, oh, OK. So you guys didn't catch it. Whisper
it into my headphones. No, no, I'm just going
to say the one where like he's like, you know,
as long as, you know, you didn't marry my daughter
or whatever. Yes. Yeah. It's like, oh, is it
just because I'm black? No. Yeah. Yeah. I was
like, I can't believe they kept that fucking
line in there. That's pretty incredible. So he's
just like fully racist. I mean, he's a cop. It
makes sense. Yeah. You know what? I can't believe
they kept in there the whole 10 minute preamble
about the bank, like the money laundering in.
generic middle east oh afghanistan the afghanistan
scene was just stupid like why do we need this
introduction this movie the first 15 minutes
this movie introduces 20 characters three of
which might have names yeah it's it's pretty
rough okay so let's see how do we want to do
the the recap of this movie like a speed run
sean do you want to do sean in 60 seconds I did
not have a chance to write something for this,
but I do want to do the recap. This would have
been the prime time for it. I had a shitty week,
which is why I was going to watch this on Tuesday.
But no, I do want to do this because so movie
starts off Afghanistan, generic hacker type money
laundering, you know, green numbers. So, you
know, they're evil. They get done. They're leaving.
She's doing a lot of typing for things just transferring.
Yeah. They get shot up. Generic white soldiers
of fortune who supposedly were left for dead.
And this guy, the evil guy, the evil white guy
owes a million dollars to, but he's transferred
it all away because the feds were getting too
close. And after they shoot him up a bunch, he's
like, I'll help you get the money. And they're
like, nah. And they kill him anyway, just so
they could go rob a bank in the most aggressive
way possible. um killing a bunch of people for
no reason don't they ask him like where is it
where's the money and he's like it's in banks
and they're like name a bank and the first trust
of chesterfield yeah and so then they just go
rob that bank it's like it doesn't fucking matter
what bank it's in it's all digital money yeah
it's like you're not gonna go down there and
be like uh steven stole a million dollars from
us so we're gonna just take it out of his bank
account here Just fucking taking money from a
bank. Also, but it's Chesterford, Massachusetts,
which is not a real place. Of course. That's
good. Chesterfield didn't want it. Didn't want
that on there. That stank on them. Also annoyed
because it takes place in Massachusetts. You
got the fucking mass hole partner. Nick Cage
doesn't do a Boston accent. Yeah, I know. It's
such a miss. He finally has the opportunity to
do the Boston cop. and you know every once in
a while he hits a like a i don't know one of
those like softy a sounds uh but that's it like
no no real attempt at the accent so we have this
whole like five minute opening where we introduce
we're introduced to the villains of the piece
again outside of west uh weston cage west cage
west weston um none of them are notable uh weston's
only notable for being one a fucking giant and
two they also assume he's not miked or they don't
have a boom on him because you can't hear a thing
he says the mixing on this is awful i think he's
pretty bad at enunciation yeah he probably just
whispers a lot he's got big whisper energy yeah
i don't know why that grossed me out so much
but you're right But then we cut from there to
introduce our Interpol agent who has no point
in this story. Whatever. No, she's just there.
I mean, she gets a kill shot. Yeah, she gets
a kill shot after the kid shoots the guy. Yeah.
I mean, he did most of the work. You could have
taken her out of this movie. This movie could
have been half an hour and you could have told
like the core story. yeah okay so that was my
my main feeling about this entire thing is the
the whole movie what the way it was filmed everything
it felt like this could just be like a serialized
tv show yeah and like i would have been better
with that because like the ramping up of the
intensity and all that kind of stuff was not
terrible but like it felt like it was in 30 minute
pockets you know but the plot gets dumber so
then we're introduced to elliot the kid who is
getting bullied and mid -swirly wasn't his name
like kenny it's kenny kenneth oh kenny who's
hell yeah that's how okay kenny gets dex the
kid who's giving him a swirly right as a teacher
walks in after kenny is screaming for help dex
the kid yeah we're gonna expel your son for for
hitting a kid also other kid was videotaping
it just look at the kid's phone yeah so he he
gets sent a ride oh my god okay hang on before
that So in the expulsion conversation, the principal
or whatever, there's this line that I thought
was so fucking stupid. So, well, why didn't he
tell anybody that he was being bullied? You know,
they're like, we have a slogan here. If teens
being mean to a teacher, come clean. Nobody.
I want it on record and I want everyone to understand
before we go any further in this recap, no one
in this movie can act. No, no one. No, it was
truly bad. Very, very wooden acting across. I
love the almost like half second pause a lot
of times in the middle of sentences while they're
like injecting emotion into their lines. Yeah,
it's almost like they like say the line and then
look over like, did I get it? Oh, even better.
Did you guys catch the extras who were like waiting
for action? So they they've started filming.
There's. When Beardo is setting the C4 in the
cafe, it cuts from the waitress to him. And the
extra behind him is just holding a fork of food
in his mouth, just hovering, waiting for action
to take a bite. And it's just like, yeah, Josie
noticed that too. Just like, do I put it in now?
Later after the cafe explodes and you're seeing
the wreckage, there's one extra who like is just
laying there. Then like. jerks up looks around
like he's supposed to be doing something stands
up and then like start shambling away yeah there
were a lot of these moments where it's just somebody
sort of like it feels like they're frozen and
then all of a sudden start moving yeah oh god
but then we are introduced to the bank manager
and his wife he has to go in today um he gets
murdered later for being the bank manager This
is one of the sins of these kinds of movies.
Like, I don't care about his backstory. I don't
care that he was going to go have fancy dinner
for their anniversary. Was it even that? Or is
it just that he's busy working? I think it was
just he works all the time. Yeah, like, I don't
need that. Like, it would have been the same
as he's sitting in the chair and he's like, this
is my moment. I'm going to be a hero. And then
he gets killed. Yeah. The backstory doesn't matter.
His wife, I don't care. I don't need to see her
face. same with the villains like we don't need
to know why they're stealing the money it could
just be a bank robbery why do we need to know
that like they were owed this money or where
the money came from none of that makes sense
yes they just have to be like trained military
uh like mercenaries or whatever okay we got to
talk about the money though oh what about the
money It is. It's one point three six million
dollars split four ways. That's three hundred
and forty thousand dollars each to go murder
like a fuck ton of people. Yep. Yeah. Big explosions.
Lots of secrets. They're going to walk away.
Rich men. Yeah. Twenty eighteen dollars. Three
hundred forty K. Like what the fuck? You're not
accounting for inflation. Even. OK, we'll talk
to Josh about that one. I think I think you're
looking at maybe five hundred K. Yeah. But in
terms of motivation, it was still $300 ,000 at
the time. Yeah. I just don't understand it. I
don't understand how, even if you felt like you
were owed that money, like that is not enough
money for me to go murder shit. Tons of people.
Yeah. These people are fucking hard on it too.
Like they weren't afraid to like do anything.
Yeah. When, uh, so my favorite part of like the,
the mercenaries just mercilessly killing was
like when, uh, they're letting like some hostage
go and that one guy just slips a brick of c4
in her pocket i know it's like what the fuck
you're just gonna okay well we we just have so
much c4 laying around we've we've got a contingency
plan ready we'll just let a hostage go and carry
c4 back into the crowd he just wanted to see
an exploded lady yeah which would have been cool
but the fact that she found the c4 in the pocket
yeah But then the cop finds it. So we get an
exploded cop. The cop finds it, runs away. Instead
of throwing it, we get an exploded cop, which,
okay, here for that. Totally fine, yeah. When
they blew up the cafe, was anyone else confused?
Because I thought it was the cafe across the
street from the bank at first. Oh, no, I figured
it was further away as like a distraction, but.
Because the explosion goes off and they're driving
like nothing happened, but like there's two cafes.
yeah yeah don't introduce a second cafe you're
confusing us now yeah that could have been anything
else yeah yeah uh but we are introduced to his
partner who is also the husband of nick cage's
daughter and she's pregnant also nick cage doesn't
talk to anymore who nick doesn't talk to anymore
also nick cage is like three days from retirement
like everyone in this movie should be dead um
but then they but at this point you forgot that
there's a kid but then they remember there's
a kid so like the kid goes on a ride along cop
stuff happens um dude they're so fucking mean
to that kid right away yeah he's not that bad
of a kid and they're just immediately like you're
a piece of shit motherfucker you hit a guy you're
the bitch yeah like enjoy jim risen Did like
how Nick Cage was complaining that like, you
know, cops these days, like they always have
cameras on them and it's like terrible. And he
like says that to Kenny later. And Kenny's like,
what? So you can't just kill people. And Nick
Cage is like, yeah. I mean, that is the worst
part about being a cop is like too much accountability.
Yeah. It's rough when you can't just fucking
murder people. Then like the hostage situation
goes down, like they come into the bank. The
bank manager's there. He gets like roughed up
a bit, later gets shot. The back two thirds of
this movie are just kind of like disparate scenes
that kind of go together, but there's no real
through line and nobody has an arc. It's like
if somebody had a sticker book and the sticker
book was the plot and they just kind of haphazardly
applied plot over these nice scenes of like action
of explosions and gunfights. Yeah. why did they
kill the security guard yeah who cares oh yeah
who was unconscious he didn't have a backstory
like so why would i care that's true i didn't
see his his home life we didn't get a 10 minute
backstory about like why he shouldn't have come
into work today yeah also i was pretty sure he
was unconscious he was just laying on the floor
not moving i don't know they just like fucking
murk him off with six shots this movie's not
very good oh and then later on no and then later
on uh when they're like uh when the bank heist
is like into like it's 11th hour and it's like
nighttime now um they introduce like the feds
or like uh swat the guy who swat who comes in
out of nowhere and like this character's acting
like he's been there the whole time i think given
that this movie is 86 minutes long he probably
was there And they just were like, he's a shitty
actor. We're going to cut those scenes. Then
they introduced two, they introduced like a two
or three other like cops who have some rapport
with each other just so they could like shoot
two of them. Yeah, it's like the guy who's bad
at shooting a gun and his partner who's like
the better one. She gets shot in the neck or
something. I don't know. There's a lot of, again,
this feels very much like a soap opera where
everything is sort of interconnected. It's like.
kenny's mom is the nurse at the hospital who's
dealing with all this stuff as people come in
from these gunshots and explosions and whatever
and yeah i don't know the son -in -law cop has
to get sent to that hospital and it's like oh
my god that's where kenny is he gets shot so
yeah the son -in -law cop gets shot in the leg
is like kenny records his dying words to his
unborn son um unresponsive has lined at the scene
at the hospital like the wife shows up he's there
he's like not responsive she pushes away into
like the operating room and the one doctor's
like let us do our job and we are trying to do
our job he should have just slapped her it's
like you're being hysterical slap let us do our
job the other yeah then the other cop who got
shot the neck comes in and like She's talking
to her. And then we never see the son -in -law
again until the end of the movie where everyone's
final scene is filmed and no one is in the same
room. He should have died. It would have been
fine. That would have been better. I thought
he was dead. It was weird that he was alive.
He just passed out from some blood loss. That
was all. He knew a lot about bleeding out. It's
probably not his first time. He was a pretty
shitty cop. I bet he's been shot a few times
and just like bled out on the side of a street.
Oh my God, this is it. This is going to be the
one. Did Nick Cage's daughter, did the daughter's
character just keep all of her baby stuff? Because
she just found out that day she was pregnant.
She had like at the beginning of the day, she
had the pregnancy test and she's already in a
nursery. Yeah, this is one of those movies where
like everything is set up so much to attempt
to tug a heartstring where it's like the first
introduction to him and her is like, guess what?
I'm pregnant. Go to work and I hope you don't
get shot and killed. Yeah. I'm going to sit here
with this like cop car, like baby's spinny thing.
Yeah, the mobile. A cop car mobile. Like, oh,
my God. Fuck that shit. This movie had one joke
that I thought kind of worked. It's when the
son -in -law is like, honey, have you seen my
vest? honey and then like goes and we have the
i'm pregnant scene then we cut to the uh bank
manager honey have you seen my and like he turns
around and she's holding like a sweater vest
for him yeah it's like oh and you know me so
well ah that was that was mildly clever like
connective tissue for these two scenes i don't
think you should give it that much credit i think
they did not try that's all the credit i'm giving
it that's the only credit i'm giving this movie
That and a lot of people get shot in the leg.
They're really good at shooting people in the
legs. Yeah, leg shots. Also, everyone in this
movie is a bad shot because I'll call them terrorists,
the heisters, the bank robbers. They shoot out
the windows of the bank and then proceed to stand
in the open windows and just shoot at 30 cops
and none of the guys are behind anything. yeah
there is so much gunfire in this so much it's
mostly just that as josie kept pointing out to
me it's like this is a five minute job they said
five minutes in and out why did they have so
much ammunition why did they have all those mres
for the hostages why did they need all that c4
like a five minute job Yeah. And then Weston
Cage has his like giant sniper rifle, but apparently
only brought two bullets for. Yeah. So that was
my thing. I was like, he's just like fucking
wrecking shit with that thing. And then all of
a sudden he's just down back in the bank. Like,
should I hold this bag of money again? He misses
Nick Cage in the first shot. And then he fucking
just dead center on the forehead of some other
cop. does a fucking prestidigitation western
digitation yeah okay thank you please continue
sean another not story point in this movie is
kenny's phone dies um and he's like hiding in
a car so he has to use the battery out of a doll
he has to macgyver up like a thing to charge
his phone with the battery out of a doll and
like a key and a charger in this car yes so there
was this window of time during this movie where
like i got distracted i looked away for like
two seconds and then all of a sudden like kenny
is alone in this other car i'm like i don't know
what's going on he's like ripping a doll apart
and he's making this fucking magic charger like
what yeah they didn't ever establish that he's
like good at science or anything it's just like
how did he make a fucking charger no it was the
nobody's there are no characters in this movie
nobody has it was the unspoken uh like reason
he got beat up i guess like because they asked
him earlier like what a dork yeah well why do
they pick on you because i'm different and like
well what's that mean because you're black because
you're gay like what's the problem what's your
difference no i'm good at Classwork. I just love
science so much. I'm the bastard son of MacGyver.
I mean, it's bitching that he made a fucking
charger with a nine volt battery. Good enough
for like a three second phone call. Yeah. Mom,
I'm OK. I still love you. But yeah, which I'm
not sure a nine volt battery could charge a car.
Or charge a phone? Probably not. I don't think
it's enough voltage. Because I think a phone
charger is like 12 volts or some shit like that.
I mean, 1 .2 amps. Tiny, tiny bit of charge.
I'm not a phone charger guy, though. I'm not
a phone charger electrician. Well, you could
be in this movie. A car charger electrician.
I'll go home and I'll do the math. I won't. I'll
go home and go back to bed. But I do want to
talk about the final scene in this movie, which
takes place a year later. We have our obligatory
Nick Cage running through a park for this era
of his filmmaking. Oh, yeah. He gets home, is
clearly on a green screen, like walking in the
door. And we are surprised. Happy birthday. Turn
to not dead son -in -law, daughter, granddaughter.
yeah surprised it was a girl yeah and then kenny
videotaping it who is also green screened with
just a window behind him and this odd interaction
conversation between all these people who they
couldn't get in the same room for a final say
i love it at the end he's like kenny you still
have that dumb ass fucking phone yeah that you're
always using and he's like i'd like to take some
new pictures slow mo walk fade out there aren't
any memorable lines in this i don't know why
the one line that stuck out to me is when he
gets into his house and he's like putting his
keys down everyone else surprised he just goes
there are people in my house i finally found
a movie i hate more than primal oh yeah i mean
i would rather watch primal than this for sure
um the same amount of green screen action true
but but at least it makes sense it's funny because
this movie is terrible but like i did like it
more than inconceivable yeah no there's there's
definitely something to be said about this movie
in that it's not inconceivable um but it is uh
terrible it's i enjoyed myself i enjoyed watching
this stupid movie but it's not good It's not
something I recommend. Can we also talk about
the criminals, like their big getaway plan at
the end was just to book it, just to run out
the front door and book it. And then like Weston
dies immediately. Well, it's because he's too
fat. He's like, oh, easy targets out. Go get
him. My note in my phone was Preston. No, it's
like, oh, wrong name. i like how all three bad
guys though when they die they all ham it up
so much yeah they're like this is the scene we're
trained for yeah clearly like weston doesn't
know how to do a like a pratfall so like when
he gets shot he goes down like he kind of just
sits and like you can see him like slowly lowering
himself down on the steps yeah then there's the
the southern guy he gets shot in the leg and
then has to like die next to that car and then
the main guy The main bad guy who also has a
weird accent that you can't place. I don't know.
New York. Yeah, I think Josie looked him up and
he was like Australian or some shit like that.
Yeah. Oh, I also in the initial shootout when
the bank guys first goes wrong and they're having
the big shootout in the parking lot, just bystanders
running in between everybody. And you have one
woman who gets in a car. There's a solid three
more minutes of shootout. And she's just sitting
in her car. Right. For him to then shoot her.
Yeah. Yeah. To walk up, shoot her in the head,
then drive off. So the car was on. She could
have left at any point. Don't think about it
too much. Yeah. Just enjoy 211. 211. Robbery
in process. My time. So who would you recommend
this movie to? If you had to, like. take this
film and like say you know what this is for this
person um i think people who like noise and explosions
and like kinetic energy like it has all those
things you know like the acting is fucking terrible
very flat very boring but like it's got gunfire
for uh 50 of 82 minutes or something like that
like it's it's a lot you know there's explosions
that cop blows up and ragdolls all over the place
like there's some stuff like you can if you want
a mindless piece of shit this is it when they
blow up the cafe and they there's like three
shots of the waitress who goes outside for a
smoke just getting smacked in the side of the
head with like rubble um they just like they
just quick shot that through like three times
i was laughing so hard yeah waitress like trying
to struggle to smoke a cigarette later i feel
like i would have been a little traumatized because
it all the explosions happened when she lit her
first cigarette i'd be probably like i don't
know like one of those gag cigarettes that just
has like a firecracker in it it's like that's
probably what did it i can't i quit smoking now
yeah i thought it was weird that she was trying
to smoke again i mean like smokers gonna smoke
is what is what they do If I was recommending
this movie to somebody, I would probably have
to recommend it to somebody who's never seen
a movie before, like maybe even doesn't know
what a movie is. Like I would I would do some
time traveling and I would go back in time and
I'd be like, oh, you guys don't know anything
about talkies. Well, let me show you something
here. And I would blow their mind with probably
the most extravagant acting and action they've
ever experienced. They'll never be able to come
down off that high. I have a better answer. I
know who I'd recommend this movie to. All right,
let's hear it. I'd recommend this movie to Nicolas
Cage because I have questions. Why? Please, sir,
sit down and watch this. Well, OK, so that does
beg the question, like, why did he make this
movie? Like, there's not that much money. No,
there's not that much. Like, I mean, they filmed
everything in Bulgaria. Like, they could not
have had a budget more than $10 million. You're
telling me the Massachusetts scenes were filmed
in Bulgaria? You mean the ones that look like
they're in fucking Europe? I was surprised that
they got cars that had the same license plates.
Driver seats on the correct side. Okay, I would
say probably to get his son an acting credit.
Try and get his son on SAG. That was my thinking,
too. I didn't really look at what Weston had
done before this, but it feels like it was either
a chance to work with your son or a chance to
give your son a, here you go, buddy. You got
a credit now. When did Tokarev, is that before
or after this? That was before. yeah rage yeah
because that's the other one where weston is
his stand -in uh oh shit what was it you just
looked it up yeah and rage we had weston play
young play young young crime jacket mcgee oh
lord of war that was the other one he was in
he was vladimir so oh that's right yeah looks
like a bad one magician he's he's terrible I'll
probably never get over you saying that his hair
looks like it was done by AI. And it just does.
What do you guys think Kal -El's up to? I don't
know. Probably distancing himself from Weston.
That is the wise choice. Oh, man. Yeah. So this
was a this was two one one. We did it. Did we?
Oh, also, just the reason I was like. feverishly
trying to google this town in massachusetts is
because their police uniforms look like what
strippers would wear strippers who were dressed
as police would wear like they don't but they
don't look real like none of the patches or insignias
look like they would be like legit things everything
just looks bad maybe racism feels right though
maybe that's why weston had to uh set himself
down so gently because all the costumes were
just stripper rentals and he's afraid if he like
fell too hard it would all just explode off of
him just be laying there in his nakedness listen
that's a pretty cool magician move though some
dude just gets shot in a gunfight or close burst
off it's like oh no we can't do that guys action
softer I think it's telling that outside of Kenny.
I don't think we've used any character's name
in this because we don't know them. Yeah, I did.
One thing that really stood out to me is I loved
when the Interpol agent is like. When she's scanning
the face of the initial money guy from like the
first 10 minutes of the movie, she's got like
generic sci -fi like. facial recognition technology
that's just like scan lines and like little squares
that like pop around his face like it's nothing
yeah i loved when she went to the gun shop to
try and figure out like where they got all their
fucking gear and she's like well trey told me
he's like i don't know any trey she shows a picture
of like trey and he's like nope never seen him
of course not looking at it as is Your prerogative.
And then she just sort of looks up and there's
a picture of him on the wall with Trey. Yeah,
I love. OK, we remember Trey's name. Yeah, I
love the performance of that Interpol lady because
she just delivers every line in the same kind
of wooden like English as your second language,
Melania Trump kind of voice. Was she the best
actor? No. No. I mean, Weston Cage was, obviously.
Yeah, Kenny was the best. Kenny was the best.
Kenny was the best. He was a good kid. Yeah.
And then, like, she just happens to show up where
their, like, staging site was, where she found,
like, the receipt for the C4 or something. It
was just, like, a scrap of, like, a wrapper from
it, and it has, like, a letter C, and, like,
it's in that green and yellowish. military fonti
thing and it's like what could this be and i
looked at it i was like oh i bet that's c4 and
it's like oh it's just c4 all through the movie
c4 was a weird gotcha in this it was yeah i would
guess if kenny knew how to like macgyver up that
battery he could have hotwired that car call
me racist but i think the black kid could have
done it that probably would have been uh two
on the nose he would have gotten shot yeah absolutely
in this movie for sure yeah i don't know i mean
they they sort of like play him up as this really
hyper capable guy but he's also sort of like
scared and wants his mom and all this stuff it's
like let's see like lean into it have him do
more at the end or something i mean he did get
the almost kill shot the guy he did shot yeah
he did he did shot the guy he did the shot yeah
of the guy let's see we haven't done cage grid
in a while i was just thinking that i'm gonna
i'm well i'm gonna say bad cop although yeah
and good kid bad cop good kid so i would give
this a bad cage bad movie yep simply put bad
cage bad movie also um i want to say the director
of this film isn't a real person uh His name,
York Alec Shackleton. That does sound like a
fake -ass person for sure. York Alec Shackleton.
Yeah, I bet he didn't do any Arctic exploration.
That's stolen Shackleton valor. That's right.
And his co -writer, John Rebus. This movie was
written by AI. Everything is fake. Including
Weston Cage's hair. borden raised in southern
california york shackleton took up snowboarding
and skateboarding at age 10 by 19 he was on the
professional snowboarding circuit where he uh
wowed legions of young fans and popularized a
movie called the or a move called the rodeo flip
this you say that was the writer or the director
no writer director okay yeah Yeah, this definitely
has big snowboarder vibes in the script. So I
could use more sketching. Oh, my God. OK, any
any final thoughts on this one? This is going
to be a short episode. No, it's fine. I'm looking
at his IMDb. I think this is a different York
Shackleton. How many York Shackletons could there
be? I don't know, but this York Shackleton doesn't
have 211 on his or 211 on his IMDb. Probably
knew better. And he's like, we can drop that
one. We don't need to advertise. I was on that
one. It's all right. That was my Bulgaria experience.
I was looking at a producer. No, it is. He did
direct. Yeah, he did direct 211. uh his other
movies are i'm i don't care um las hereditas
kush puta one out of seven the fukushima 50 the
actor pretty perfect two one one and disturbing
the peace and this one wait so this was one of
his later credits yeah yeah so he had a lot of
practice before his other one is also a cop one
the newer one yeah He likes cops. He had the
costumes rented for a whole week, so he had to
use them. Who's in the other cop one, the most
recent one, Disturbance of Peace or whatever?
Guy Pearce. Yeah, of course. It would have to
be somebody. Well, next up, we've got Teen Titans.
Go to the movies. That is going to be a nice
palate cleanser after these last two episodes.
It'll be interesting. I think that's going to
be pretty fun. I know you are not super big on
kids animation, but we'll see what happens. This
could be better. It could be better. So he does
play Superman. The only thing I know about this
movie, this came across my feed recently. This
one little clip from the film, I think because
of all my on the record Shia LaBeouf bashing.
But there's a scene where like the Titans are
beating up Slade Wilson and he rips off his mask.
It's like, guys, I'm not actually Slade. I'm
after Shia LaBeouf. And they're like, oh, Shia
LaBeouf. Shia LaBeouf. Kick, punch, kick, punch,
kick, punch. Excellent. I'm going to go read
more about the weird backstory of York Alex Shackleton,
because this is fascinating. Yeah, he sounds
more interesting than the movies he makes. Absolutely.
100%. All right. Thank you all for listening.
If you want to support us, we do have a Patreon.
Thank you to our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie,
Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart, and Willow. And our
Cage dancers, John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron.
And to Bill Panks for our intro music. Nicolas
Cage broke his ankle while filming the movie
in Bulgaria and was out of action for two weeks.
Nicolas Cage admitted he didn't like the final
cut. Because it sucks. Nicholas Cage described
the movie as disappointing. Okay, this makes
sense. This will be my last thought. The scene
where after he gets shot in the ankle, this makes
sense when he gets shot in the ankle, but when
he's in the ambulance and he's got his leg up,
it's a fake foot. It looks so weird. It's huge.
It comes out at a weird angle. What if he just
has big -ass feet, man? No, it's a fake rubber
foot. what if it's like one of those hobbit feet
that they put on so it's like a shoe with like
yeah it goes over your hair and nose and all
that yeah got that as a costume rental they threw
in a couple hobbit feet all right the sixth collaboration
between nicholas cage and millennium films after
wicker man bad lieutenant port of call new orleans
drive angry trespass and stolen wow so a bunch
of bangers and then this everything rules and
this which one was trespass we watched it recently
is that the one with the home invasion yes and
nicole kidman yeah yeah that one was also bad
it was but was that also guy pierce no that was
um fuck is that guy's name he's got kind of sticky
out ears great actor yeah it's not like ben mendelsohn
yeah yeah okay yeah ben mendelsohn whoo pulled
that one out of my ass i like ben mendelsohn
i do too i do too so i guess i like trespass
it's the only thing but not two one one not two
one one too much weston in it what's the perfect
movie for weston cage uh i don't know remember
when like uh the prestige and like that other
movie came out and it was like oh we're gonna
do a lot of movies about magicians the illusionist
The illusionist. So he probably could have done
like the the straight to video like knockoff
of one of those films that comes out at that
time. Yeah. To me, it feels like what if it was
like a David Blaine like biopic and he plays
fat David Blaine or like David Blaine's failed
like friend, the guy that David Blaine stole
all of his good magic from. I don't think Weston
has good magic. That's why it's a movie. So you
can suspend disability. Okay, fair, fair, fair.
Have you gone to Weston's IMDb page? Yes. No.
All of his photos look very magician -esque.
They're the ones I was showing you before. Yeah,
we were looking at those earlier. Look at that
fucking hair. It doesn't look real. It's just,
those are some very touched up headshots. I mean,
meal pattern baldness, you get it from your dad.
Your dad has it. I thought you got it from your
mom. Whatever, fuck it. Yeah, who knows? His
first movie was Lord of War. Raven Rage was his
third. As Night Comes. Yeah, there's a whole
lot of titles in there that I've never heard
before. I'm more impressed that he has three
soundtrack credits. Yeah. Kind of amazing, actually.
Drive Angry being one of them, apparently. yeah
drive angry joe and uh joe really yeah he wrote
a song for joe and vengeance colon that's right
weston cage bye