Oh, God. Oh, my God. She was in Ghost Rider,
right? Which one? Or which she? That's more what
I meant. Yeah. Are you talking about Gina Gershon?
never mind fuck yeah all women look the same
to me gina gershon was in face off though that's
what i'm thinking of fuck this movie bored my
face off all right well it was good it was good
to be here thank you all for being here see you
next time i mean we it would be great if we just
ended right now so nick does a single episode
Bye. Bye. I think it was last Saturday. I bought
a teapot new in the box at Goodwill. And when
I got home and unboxed it to wash it, it was
packed with bags of shrimps. Nice. Just freebies.
I love it. Goodwill drugs, man. Just Lucy's.
That's pretty cool. Yeah. So how many trips have
you gone on? I'm not doing that. Take the drugs.
I'm not. I'm not. Take the drugs or not taking
thrift store drugs. What's the worst thing you
would find in a teapot from a Goodwill? The movie.
what was it inconceivable imbecile it would be
amazing if you opened up a teapot and you found
inconceivable inside of it you're just like oh
man now i'm gonna burn this teapot bummer at
least you'd have a pretty cool like tea thingy
to set it on what do they call those uh it's
like a coaster for your teapot it's a it's a
thingamabob it's uh when it's so it's like when
it's hot yeah it's not a trivet It's a because
it's specifically it seems like it would be a
trivet. You would think it's a trivet. It feels
trivet esque. Yeah, this whole thing seems very
trivity. No, I'll never know. I'll never know.
And we're not going to look it up now. So this
is in a teapot. No. If only it were today. Yeah,
I know. Weirdly, at this point, it's still a
Nicolas Cage podcast. Having said that, welcome
back to Cage Magical and a roundabout way of
meeting Nicolas Cage. I'm Sean, here with my
co -host. And our producer. Peter, hello. And
we welcome back our special guest, Adam. Say
hi, Adam. It's good to be back. I'm glad we're
doing this. Is this your third? I was wondering
that. I think it's my fourth because I think
I did both National Treasures and then I did
Crowley's Mandolin against. Oh, that's right.
Yeah. Nine millimeter. Nine millimeter. Oh, God,
those movies sucked. Eight millimeter, but close
enough. I believe you made that same mistake
when we did that episode. I definitely did. Sean
is not the person I expect to make gun related
slip of the tongue. Yeah, right. I live in Oregon
now. So now you love guns? I love guns. That's
what they do. Yeah, that's what they do. I didn't
know. Yeah, that was an Oregon thing. I love
guns in Jesus. Yeah, they just hang out the side
of the max like shooting guns. Nice. On TriMet.
Shooting guns. Have you watched Fox News lately?
When they pull the teapot off the stove, they
just set it on a gun to keep it from burning
the countertop. Fucking love guns, dude. All
right, cool. Oregon rules. There's only a device
for that. That's definitely called a trivet.
No, no, no, no, no. It's a gun coaster. Got it.
Nailed it. So we're in the thick of the 2017
Nick Cage movies, which are all medium bad to
bad. This one also is from that same year. It
is called Inconceivable. It is a dinosaur skull
to pay off. He was still making. He did have
a dinosaur skull to pay off. Yeah. Where do we
begin with this one? Well, this movie was written
by three high school sophomore boys and it was
directed by two other high school sophomore boys.
It opens with explains the boobs. It opens. Yep.
I thought we were going to have a great movie.
I saw two pairs of boobs. It opens with Nicolas
Cage jogging ostensibly to make him relatable
as a human. It was maybe the most real looking
human man running. I've seen. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
He and his wife play doctors and like in the
sexy way. Sure. They try a few times, but zero
to zero results. Yeah. And let's see. Early in
the movie, his wife takes their daughter to the
park because every scene either happens around
a dinner table in their backyard or at this one
part of this one park because the set didn't
exist. um there was a there was a lake too and
let's see there she they blew it all on that
house though oh yeah absolutely okay every interior
shot is definitely shot in that house on some
other like some other room in that house totally
the hospital house house yep hospital it's just
the one it's like the office it's upsettingly
large doctor money man yeah we fucked up I know,
right? By being an idiot. While at the park in
the first three to five minutes of the movie,
she meets her friend there who also has a small
kid and then some random woman who does not have
a small kid and is just hanging out at this kid
park. That's their best friend. And then they
all become best friends and get a little wine
drunk on a play date and then have a sleepover,
which I guess is just a totally normal fucking
thing that... grown -ups accidentally do when
they don't really know each other again written
by teenagers it makes sense it's like and then
they all fell asleep in their underwear yeah
right after having a pillow fight so the next
morning uh the new friend i don't remember the
actor's name she's australian Oh, Nikki, Nikki
Whalen. There you go. So she's just making everybody
breakfast. And Nick Cage is just like super fine
that there's just a rando stranger in their house
making breakfast. And from there, well, he was
fine when he saw the weird sleepover. Yeah, right.
It was just like, well, girls are going to be
girls. Yeah. And so I don't there's there's like
definitely like time jumps in in this script,
but they don't really. address that so you're
not sure you're not sure if the next scene is
happening like later that afternoon or eight
months later you don't know it's not until like
you get to measure like a pregnancy that is the
only part of this script that allows the viewer
any opportunity for inference like every other
part of this script is like i'm using this scene
to tell the viewer exactly what's happening in
the plot yeah let's see um We're going back to
like they're all sitting around having dinner
in a backyard. This could have been the next
day. It could have been the same day. It could
have been six months later from the breakfast.
Right. And she becomes their nanny. In the weirdest,
most contrived scene possible. She's like, I
have to leave town for work. No, just move in
with us. OK. Why don't you just stay? You're
so cool and fun and nice. And my daughter loves
you. It was it was like. It was like Renee Zellweger
with you had me at hello, just like stopping
and being like, fine, I'll I'll go along with
what you're saying, except it was dumber and
way more painful to watch. Oh, God, it was terrible.
So then she becomes the nanny and starts kind
of like fucking the third friend that introduced
to them all. And then that lady's jacked, by
the way. And then. oh uh and then and stacked
jacked and stacked she moved so she she also
moves in with them and that had to happen just
for the obligatory like tit scene so they could
show some some boobs which again had nothing
to do with anything. That was just like, she
just like went into the pool one night and then
that was the end of the scene. In her underwear,
but topless. Yeah, right. My favorite review
of this film, part of it just says, there is
no need to see Nikki Whelan's boobs. We already
know what a good actress she is. it's just such
a great dig oh actually it's it's probably important
to bring up that right before or what led into
the the boob scene nick cage and uh gina gershon
thank you gina gershon uh he was trying to get
fresh with her gina gherkin she she said no because
she had just had a miscarriage and that's so
we're starting to get this idea that they had
they have trouble conceiving and um they already
have one daughter this was a very confusing time
jump too yeah yeah because she just like it feels
like she had the miscarriage and then he's like
well let me get up in there and it's also again
talking time jumps she's like announces to her
her friend you know and she's like yeah i'm pregnant
don't tell i haven't even talked to brian yet
and then it's like immediate time jump uncertain
amount of time miscarriage is it the next day
yeah maybe yeah you probably shouldn't have told
brian yeah probably not um boy that's confusing
i wish i knew had more context for the miscarriage
like was she like trampolining a lot like there's
so much in that time period that i wish i had
So many hot wings. I needed more from this movie.
I needed more constantly. Oh, did you? Yeah.
Oh, boy. It really had me on the edge of my seat
the whole time. This movie desperately, desperately
needed an editor. There were just so many scenes
where it's like, OK, so they're sitting around
explaining the plot to each other at the dinner
table. And then it would be like. Well, now would
you like some more lemonade? It's like, no, thank
you. I'm OK. Do you need any help cleaning up
the dishes? Sure, I guess so. And then it would
cut is like, what? Yeah, this movie needed an
adult. Somebody to just say, no, no, you don't
get to make this movie. I just had no idea what
this movie was trying to be. Like every 15 minutes,
I thought it was trying to be a different movie.
So it's like, OK, so she's. trying to steal Gina
Gershon's family and like steal the husband and
like, you know, hand that rocks the cradle. No,
that's not it. She's an abuse victim who got
away from her husband. Cause that's the first
scene of the movie. Nope. She, the movie just
left out crucial context that she was just a
kidnapper, but wait, I'm the baby's real mother,
but she's crazy. No, she's actually like an egg
donor. It just every 20 minutes, they're like,
here's something even weirder. But delivered
with no panache at all. I had made a note at
one point that this script felt like the product
of like a semester long, like high school film
class project. Totally. That like, okay, so we're
going to make a psych thriller. What? are the
larger tropes that always go into that do that
boobs and then any any other thing that they
wanted to put in there it was like we don't have
time for it we just we just got him each scene
has to be exactly something that would be in
a psychological thriller and it has to feel way
longer than it actually is at every step of the
movie no what this feels like to me this is just
a really improv extra says that went way too
far because every scene yes and the last scene
like first scene uh what you know battered wife
running away accidentally kills her husband cool
you know in hiding brown hair can't tell it's
the same person next scene wait she actually
killed uh the mother and kidnapped the baby wait
next scene she was actually the biological mother
of the baby because she donated her eggs next
scene and just every scene just takes it up another
notch except with no energy but with no energy
it's all it's sideways notches oh man okay so
this movie isn't it's an hour and 40 minutes
long and it felt like fucking five hours and
it didn't help that rachel was doing taxes while
i was watching this and both the girls were struggling
to fall asleep so i was constantly having to
get up and like help out a child or like answer
a tax filing question And I'm like, this thing
never ends. Never. I remember you texting me
when you're just like, oh, my God, I still have
50 minutes of this. It took me it took me three
hours to watch it and I didn't have anything
else going on. I blocked out the time I needed
and was like, great, I'll be done with this by
three this afternoon. And I was not because I
just had to keep pausing and like I had to go
do something else. And eventually I'd be like,
wow. I really need to get this watched or remind
yourself that you want to live. I did the same
every like every 20 minutes. I'm like, I'm going
to pause this and go just question all my life
decisions for a bit and then come back. Crank
one out real quick. I got to feel good. We're
saying the same thing. Oh, man. No, I powerhouse
that. I didn't stop. I don't think I even like
stood up. I just sat down and I was like, fucking
get it over with. Let's just go. didn't blink
once yeah no josey held my eyes open your eyes
your blue eyes just were crystal okay uh those
like blue eye contacts at one point like uh gina
gherkins in the bathroom and she finds those
and she's like oh my god she she wears contacts
i'm like motherfucker we just had a close -up
shot of you you're wearing contacts i can see
your contacts i'm also I mean, everybody, everybody's
guilty of opening a medicine cabinet with your
host's medicine cabinet when you're over for
dinner party or whatever. I have never looked
inside somebody's contacts case. Opened them
up. Yeah. Yeah. It's been like, I'm curious.
I bet that bitch is. Just try them on. Like,
oh, let's see what her fucking eyes do. Oh, God,
you are blind. Gross. Every everything. Why do
people put on somebody's glasses and go, oh,
my God, you're so blind. what is your fucking
frame of reference for this these are my eyes
like anything's bad yeah you put these on it's
gonna look fucking weird for you every everything
in this script there's sort of designs of i don't
know it advanced the plot yeah the railroadiness
right it was it was just it was just lazy everything
was like lazy as fuck like well okay what do
we what are we going to use for the whole entrapment
thing? I don't know. Make her a drug addict.
Should we explain that? Nah, she just, she, no,
she just, we just sort of find out. Yeah. And
it's never explained. No, I mean, it is explained,
but just very ham fistedly. And like where she's
just like, I used to be addicted to pills, but
I'm not anymore. And then an hour later, they
bring that back up. I needed it to get through
the pregnancy and then the after pregnancy and
then just Thursdays. Am I right? When when that
came up, I was sitting there like, did I sort
of did I miss like. five or seven minutes of
really crucial content in this movie. I didn't
know she'd been addicted to pills. Was this ever
talked about? And then I just, I just zoned out.
I know everybody that's a big party and everyone's
like, Oh no, not again. Back on the pills. Jesus
Christ. Come on, Angela. The concept of like
egg donor being like these parents aren't taking
good care of my babies is kind of OK. Like that's
a decent conceptual thriller, but there's still
so much that goes into like this is all anonymous.
Right. So like they had to add in that extra
layer of like, well, she also killed the lady
who ran the department. So she got the donors
for egg market. Fuck, man. OK, if that was my
business and that's the like. promotional video
that was shot for it that fucking shutter it
there's no fucking reason to have a business
with promotional video that bad yeah it looked
like it was shot on an iphone 4 i love how so
there's the video which is the big like giveaway
for the mystery for gina gershon but there's
this video She calls the place to try and get
some information. It's like, I'd like to talk
to the woman from the video. She's been dead
for four years. Why didn't you take down the
video? Yeah, exactly. Get a different video.
Perfect opportunity. Clearly, she greenlit the
shit video. She's gone. Let's get somebody new
in there. Let's get a fresh fucking face. Or
just a close up on eggs. Repaint that goddamn
wall. But the third friend, when she was murdered,
the very next scene two strangers find her murdered
body and then it's just like never addressed
nobody talks about it ever i love when they find
linda's body on the beach and those people just
are walking along and then they look down it's
like hey that's it you think that's a reaction
fucking corpse sitting on top of rocks it's like
huh body i did like so yeah katie kills linda
and then it's later described as a boating accident
but i like before the murder happens they're
on a public beach with people on it just everyone
decided to leave so murder could happen i want
to know why she was carrying that barbell like
Was nobody curious? Like, Oh, I'm packing my
beach stuff. Here's one kettlebell. And it's
like, what the fuck? Well, Linda was jacked.
So you, if you, if you're going to be jacked,
you got to stay jacked and keep jacking all the
time. ABJ always be jacked. This is Ohio. It's
not like Venice beach though. Like it's in no
way necessary. Thank you, Sean. Sean knows how
to get in shape. Everybody jacket right now.
you remember that movie uh what is it lady in
the water or whatever the m night shamalan and
then there was that one dude with the like one
arm yeah he fucking squeezes a mad hog that's
all let's talk about that movie what are the
there's like creatures in there called scrunts
or some shit something like that i don't know
what a weird movie i have a weird dude i only
think about big arm dude that's the only one
that matters yeah that is a life goal to just
like work out one arm super hard not gonna be
a plot point at all later like the the ice i
don't know i always assumed it was russian but
i have no idea why you stand across from each
other and you just smack one another and each
guy has like one huge arm the slap fights those
are pretty amazing it is weird when you see that
in slow motion too you can see like somebody's
skull move around under their skin they should
have incorporated that into this movie that barbell
just braining here that would have okay that
would have made at least the knockout and murder
scene a little more believable have you ever
seen somebody get knocked out or have you been
knocked out hell yeah you don't stand up unconscious
for three or four seconds before just kind of
slightly teetering over yeah you're done that
i mean go down like potatoes right It's not worth
getting into because there were so many other
scenes in this movie that were so much dumber,
but it was pretty dumb. The murder scene was
really bad. I wish they had done underwear for
that, too, because she had to get in the water.
So what? Why didn't she take her tits out then?
Fair, because they could only afford that argument.
Thank you. It can only afford it once. It's a
it's a public beach. There's people around. You
can't be naked. You can murder people, but totally
kill people. Considering her passion for drowning
women, I was really hoping the pool would come
into play in the third act. It doesn't. Nope.
Also, check out his fucking motorcycle. Why does
Nick Cage have a motorcycle? Again. To show he's
cool as fucking shit. Yeah, so he can get on
it at the end of the movie, ride off. He doesn't
even get it on at the end of the movie. He rides
it once. Don Johnson. Exactly. I wish he had
ridden off like Don Johnson. Fuck this family.
Don Johnson had the ultimate exit. That was good.
The whole different movie. Yep. That's for the
deep listeners. I will say, this movie has nothing
going for it except the last 10 minutes I was
fully on board for after Gina Gershon gets a
sabbed and the doctor and they find out that
Katie is the biological mother of like all the
children. And then the doctor comes out and it
goes into slow -mo and he like takes off the
mask and gives a slow. head shake and nick cage
starts crying and then he like gets like angry
nick cage snarl for the rest of the film what
was what was the doctor yeah what was he saying
no to like i don't know to tell us that we're
out of coke every attempted every attempt at
an emotional beat in this film is just the film
leaving out crucial information yeah but i loved
i was so waiting for the other shoe to drop in
the last scene where he like wheels katie out
to the maternity ward or the baby ward the baby
room to show him to show her uh gabrielle gabriel
uh and nick cage is like he's getting fairly
unhinged and he like goes in and grabs the first
i thought the nurse was gina gershon i thought
so too i was i was waiting for a big reveal and
didn't have him like ah shit she just turns and
is like Bitch grabs the baby and jumps out a
window. She's supposedly dead at this point.
But then when Nick Cage goes in the room and
picks up that baby, because he what does he say
to Katie right before? Like he goes to see the
baby like this is the last time you'll ever see
him. And he goes in there like, is he going to
fucking spike that baby? He's going to like chuck
it up against the glass or something. Fuck your
poison dicks. I was very upset that they kept
all the babies in the end. Like, ew, god, no,
I don't want your fucking wild -ass crazy babies.
I mean, technically, they're all... All three
of these are tainted. Yeah. Yeah. Maddie has
a zero relation to you. Well, she is the sister
of Cora. Yeah. Half -sister. And then it ends
with her in that padded, solitary padded room.
What a sick -ass room, though. It was huge. I
was like, yeah, I wish I had that fucking...
Yeah, I wish I had that much space in my apartment.
Wait, my brain must have shut off. There was
a scene where she got cool padded room action.
Yeah. So it's her at the end in an asylum, presumably.
Is it like a post credit scene? No, it was before
it was before the end scene where he comes into
the bedroom. They're all like snuggled up as
a family. Awesome. This movie gave me brain damage
like before it ended, how it started with him
finishing a jog. Yeah, that's right. That was
the other thing. When he goes into the room and
like it's kind of like. Got that weird glow on
it. I'm like, oh, he's had a complete mental
collapse. Like she's actually dead. And he's
like, he's the one in the padded room imagining
like his life after his wife and baby died. How
fucking casual were those cops, by the way? Were
they just in on it? Was Brian just like offside?
Yo, dogs, this is going to be a great payout.
This is going to fucking slap. So I'm going to
wheel. The wild, crazy lady out there who just
had a C -section. But don't worry, she will stand
up and walk around and get super angry and pound
on things. Don't worry about it. Just wait. Just
wait. Your time comes. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
She'll be fine. We're going to expose. We're
going to bring out my wife, my wife, and she
is going to make things even wilder. Now you
can arrest. It's like casually walk up. Hey,
you want to cuff yourself? Oh, oh, oh, yeah,
we're here to arrest. Come on, come on, lady.
This movie sucks. It does suck. There's that
scene. OK, so the doctor comes out and is like,
oh, I'm sorry, your wife is apparently dead.
You mean the director? Is that the director?
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. The doctor in the beginning,
the one who. sits at the picnic table twice and
doesn't say anything. Two different scenes, doesn't
talk. That's because he's a horrible actor. That
dude is the worst. This is his only directing
credit. Everything else is like acting and producing.
He is an actor. No, he's not. That guy sucked.
He was so bad. IMDB claims that he's an actor.
He had the weirdest haircut as well. Weird haircut,
weird way of delivering lines. Man, he sucked.
Jonathan Baker. Yeah. But no, the doctor who
comes out and is, you know, the slow, somber
head shake. And then immediately is Nick Cage
in the like, we're about to give you a C -section
room. Katie just like decides that this is the
time to be like, Brian, I love you. And also
I'm going to like kind of kiss your face as I'm
being tucked away from you. That's delightful.
What is going on with this movie? Wait, the the
director was. Was that the guy doing the ultrasounds?
No, the director was the one that she brought
the DNA sample to. Yeah, it's this guy. Remember
that one? Yeah, everybody at home? Yeah. This
one? Yeah, the picture that we're looking at.
Yeah. I mean, he looks cool. He looks like melanin.
No, I take it back. My phone was just crooked.
He doesn't look like anybody cool. I mean, we
can complain about any scene, pick a scene. I
can find something wrong with it. But the, the
ultrasound scene, when she like blacks out and
wakes up screaming, you thought you said it would
be safe. And like, nobody was like, dude, are
you okay? Like what, what, what happened to you?
It's like, it's okay. Nothing can hurt you now.
And he's just like, you're good. And so is the
baby. And then they just leave. Remember when
the kids bonked heads and then she's like, come
on, let's go inside and get you some Neosporin.
What? You know what fucking neosporin on just
like a bump? Just like loose neosporin on your
forehead. Come on, kid. Let me grease up that
noggin. What the fuck? That way they just glance
off each other next time. I mean, that way when
they bump heads, yeah, they slide off each other.
It's fine. That's why I always grease up my babies.
Just a bunch of greasy babies. This movie was
a high school film class assignment and every.
Every student got to write one scene, and the
only thing they knew about the scenes before
theirs and after theirs was through the telephone
game, so they kind of had the information they
needed. It's like that art exercise of an exquisite
corpse where you only get part of the picture
that somebody else has drawn, and then you're
like, well, I'll draw from that, and then you
fold it again, you hand it to the next person,
they continue it on. Yeah. There are two kids
who got B pluses for writing this film. The ones
who had the boobs? Nailed it. Oh, yeah. OK. Speaking
of burying the lead on boobs. So there's that
scene in the beginning where he's going to go
to work. Right. And she's like, make sure you
say, you know, something to Beth or whatever.
It's her birthday. And he's like, wait, which
one? She's like the redhead with the big. He's
like, oh, yeah, the big the big boobs. Then when
they show the work, they never show the fucking
big boob lady. They couldn't find one. Couldn't
find a hot redhead with big boobs. Which is ridiculous.
Yeah, come on. Dime a dozen. Maybe that's why
they didn't show it. Maybe. Too common. Maybe
she was also wearing a shitty wig. I'm curious.
Does anybody have anything good? Is there something
about this movie that was like, OK, that was
fine. I thought Gina Gershon did an OK job. Yeah.
Again, I love the last 10 minutes of this movie.
Again, as soon as like Dr. Shade had. head shake
comes out and it's like and uh we're like Angela's
dead I was laughing my ass off because I'm like
this movie just it this is like shark jumping
territory for like how this is because like she's
not dead so like when's she gonna pop out like
how are we gonna like I was like I was giddy
for how that was gonna pay off I do like so in
the scene before they go to the hospital um when
uh Katie like drags herself onto the knife i
was like okay that's that's kind of cool scene
and then anytime somebody crazy starts beating
themselves up to look like somebody else beat
them up i'm like all right yeah that header she
took into the counter was a pretty serious one
yeah that was probably the best acting of the
film yeah i know it's what i wanted to do at
the same time uh so i i emotionally connected
with somebody trying to give themselves brain
trauma Okay, one more thing that I did like.
I did like that Katie covered up Angela in all
the pictures. I like the amount of petty work
that went into that. Just rearranged the entire
fridge. Wait, what the fuck? Why am I not in
any of these pictures anymore? Did anyone look
up where the fit lady is from? The best friend?
Linda? No, Natalie Ava Marie was the actress.
I don't remember. She's a professional wrestler.
She's WWE. That's all of her credits besides
this and a late Bruce Willis film. It looks like.
Oh, nice. Which one? I've watched a lot of late
Bruce Willis films. Hard kill. They're all better
than this. Hard kill. Hard kill. She plays Sasha
Zendel. nice all right let's watch that and then
talk about that for a minute uh no i don't want
to watch any late late era late era bruce willis
i thought that i mean not that we we got very
many scenes with her but i i thought she stacked
up as as an actor yeah yeah i i could have used
a little like nick cage was just kind of in a
supporting role i could have used more nick cage
and also from the scene where she came home,
like high as fuck on pills and made a big scene
to the end of the movie, we had any opportunity
for Nick cage to just do a total freak out, a
classic Nick cage, just screaming at everybody
going berserk. And we didn't get it. And that,
that was kind of lame too. Yeah. He really should
have popped off on those pills that way. Um,
I love that. She, here's, here's a, the scene
I loved, uh, When she got drugged up and like
passed out for like two and a half hours, just
slumped over on the wheel of her car running
foot on the brake. Luckily. Yeah. And it's like,
it's fucking Ohio. This is relaxed. Like not
a single cop. Nobody like she's on the side of
the road near a hospital. No one is just like.
And nothing. That's so cool. I love Ohio. Ohio,
you rock. Everybody lives in country club manor
houses with cool ass like the like New Orleans
style fire lamps out front. I don't think this
was filmed in Ohio. That house was so echoey
when they were in the like entryway. Every scene
they recorded there, it's like everybody's like
lines are echoing. Yeah, you guys. Put a lot
of thought into this. What was the budget for
this? Do you want to guess? Well, I know that
Nick Cage presumably was paid five million in
a briefcase. Probably, yes. He gets to keep the
briefcase. He's moved up. I read that they only
had a 15 day window to shoot. They certainly
got done inside of that. I don't know. I mean.
It shouldn't have even been 5 million. Yeah,
it's more than 5 million. Whoa. 12 .8. Yeah.
STV, I assume. I mean, STV and then also like
limited theater release. I'm sure there was.
50 screens in the country showing yeah it was
shown in the high school theater where it was
written it was just shown in the back of the
manor house where they shot it wheeled out a
fucking sheet and threw it up on a projector
yeah it's it's pretty fucking bad this is one
of those where i was like i'm glad this didn't
end up in the bracket as like a lark because
i remember watching the trailer for it and being
like this looks maybe interesting you know it's
not oh boy yeah yeah i mean it just it it felt
like it was produced by like tnt yeah and and
it's funny the the reason that i was kind of
excited to have you on for this orc was that
you well because you you are thanks man you are
known to have watched like a lot of hallmarky
type videos hell yeah you know those are pretty
low budget this was this was not the rom -com
i was looking for yeah it's not the rom -com
any of us were looking for see now now we've
got a good prequel though for it because we could
have a rom -com prequel that would totally lead
into this oh yeah i mean you could get two prequels
out of it one for stealing maddie and then one
for killing uh poor production value egg lady
i mean plus we've got yeah i mean well that could
be a psych thriller all on its own we have a
whole universe we can work with it's true the
inconceivable universe you got three ticking
time bombs with those crazy babies that's right
i work i work at a high school now i could probably
get some kids to write scripts OK, if you could
replace one movie from the bracket and slot this
in in exactly that movie's place. I don't remember
matchups left behind. You would swap out left
behind. You'd rather watch this. Those are two
movies that I think made me the most miserable.
Like Doggy Dog. I hated I hated that movie so
much. Another movie that she was in. Yeah. Both
of those movies. Both of those movies she was
in. And I hated both of those movies. Doggy Dog.
Like. repulsed me but in a way in a way that
i was like there's maybe something worth watching
again here part of me almost watched dog eat
dog this morning just to get the taste of inconceivable
out of my mouth and my eyes i tasted my eyes
today but yeah left behind is i think the one
that i would pick because it's just like they're
both horrible pieces of shit i would swap out
the crudes to throw this into like the comedy
or whatever the children's section yeah it involves
kids yeah it's a kids movie whatever it's all
about kids and boobs i would take out the runner
just because i don't remember anything about
the runner other than its name oh yeah oh that's
one of the few ones that i actually didn't watch
for this project yeah what was the runner it
was like something like he was like running for
congress or like yeah but he like it was after
katrina and he was in a sex scandal was lawrence
fishburne in it oh yeah it was the sex scandal
one wow that movie is so forgettable no we have
lawrence fishburne movies coming up oh okay yeah
i mean they have very similar like cover art
yeah they look like i'm gonna watch these movies
do at this point yeah i mean it's all that like
weird think tank naming convention for the movies
that doesn't make any sense you know I just kept
waiting for... Oh, wait, I get it. Inconceivable.
Oh, because you can't conceive. Oh, it's actually
clever. Oh, man, I didn't get it. Oh, God. Oh,
this movie did one thing right. This movie fucking
rules. I also just kept calling the movie imbecile
in my head. I was waiting for the Princess Bride
guy to show up. Yeah, exactly. You mean Wallace
Shawn? Inconceivable. I love Wallace Shawn. Fucking
rules. Then we could have had Andre the Giant
just at the end. I don't think this movie was
as good like you think it was. Andre the Giant's
corpse? Yeah, just wheel his fucking skeleton
out. Weekend at Bernie's, I'm in. It's basically
just those big Home Depot skeletons, right? My
fucking landlord made us take down our stupid
12 -foot skeleton. A skeleton's not stupid. My
landlord's stupid. Yeah, what the fuck? too many
uh open units that he's got right there like
the our neighbor is moving out and then like
the person right next like across the driveway
from them empty so he's like gonna have to take
that down it's like you fuck that tool the second
everything all those units are full put it back
oh it's going right back up it's waiting in the
garage there's a six foot tall spider at the
end of that driveway Yeah, your skeleton is the
least thing to be concerned about. Yeah, that's
true. Well, let's see. Or do you have any any
other thoughts on this movie? Or other movies
that are good? I mean, I wouldn't watch it again.
I hope to forget this movie. I thought that of
all the Nick Cage movies that I got to watch.
over the past how many years this has been going
for three four years four years i thought captain
corelli's mandolin was the one that i was like
this is the most pointless it's another fascist
sympathizer there's nothing about this movie
that needed to be put onto a screen for people
to watch but this inconceivable takes that and
goes so far with it i mean it just there's nothing
about this movie that was redeemable There's
really nothing good to say about it. I think
it's not even so bad that you can be like, man,
it's kind of funny because it took itself pretty
seriously. It's like they tried. They tried for
this. Oh, yeah. It is aggressively bad. Oh, and
even like the music is just that sort of like
ambient nothing finger picking guitar. It sucks.
The whole thing sucks. It sounds like the way
the director looks. only good at it yeah it's
like oh no that's not quite right like i i i
mean this sounds so judgmental um but like not
watching a bad watching a bad movie you know
it can be bad that it's funny it can be bad like
that you're just sort of angry that it ever got
made and this was boring and you're just sort
of like everybody involved with this was clearly
just Because there should have been somebody
that was like, guys, this just doesn't work.
This sucks. This is like this is really we need
to stop and do something else. Like just burn
the script. Let's we have Nick Cage here. Let
him shout a little bit. There was nothing good
to say about this movie. It just it was it's
just a waste of time. Yeah, it commits the sin
that you always talk about, Sean, where it's
just like it's not good enough to be anything
and it's not bad enough to be fun to watch. You
know, exactly. It's just a. sad wet fart oh man
oh we didn't even talk about like brian's mom
this whole time right faye dunaway yeah faye
dunaway with her crazy ass like clearly not brian's
mom i mean a free weekend like what was going
on i don't know dude like that's the thing is
like we've sort of asked this question before
like why do some people end up in these movies
like gina gershon i can kind of understand it's
like nikki whalen you know bad actor small career
whatever but like Faye Dunaway is a pretty classic
actor and Nick Cage is a good actor. But like
what made him do this? I think it's money, money
and timing. It's like it's in a location where
they're not upset about being for X amount of
time. And 15 days, apparently. I mean, you get
paid a couple million. Yeah, it feels like. It
was a stopover on a flight to Louisiana for him.
Yeah. Just heading down for Mardi Gras. He's
like, I'll pop in for a weekend, crank out all
these shots. ABC, always be cranking. That works
better than ABJ. Yeah, you're right. All right.
Sean, 60 seconds. Yep. Donnie, flow runner. An
egg donor seeks out and kills the recipients
of her eggs who don't live up to her standards.
Katie cozies up to the Morgans, two doctors who
need a surrogate. Katie, who continues to act
like a villain, has her motives questioned at
every turn until the plot requires everyone ignore
protagonist Angela's concerns. But it's okay,
because she's a woman and used to have a pill
problem. This film comes with both twist and
turn by showing out of context scenes or half
flashbacks that make Katie look like a victim
rather than a killer. Ultimately, what gives
Katie away is her signature calling card, a months
long mural that she paints in the homes and offices
of her victims. All in all, a rather conceivably
dull affair whose only high point is the surreal
twist ending after the film once again lies to
the viewer for a cheap emotional gut punch. Katie's
orchestration of Angela's murder, which is immediately.
reversed as angela is alive and not only gets
her son but katie's daughter as katie is hauled
off to the loony bin and we'll put four seconds
of fart noises at the end to fill that last bit
i love it just okay so if you if you gave me
that and asked can you make a movie out of this
i'd be like hell yeah right but they didn't oh
they did not so but the other okay so the other
thing about this we haven't talked about that
woman all these dead women have That painting
in their home or office. And no one said bunk.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big ass like fucking calling
card in every one of these crime scenes. Also,
that lady does not understand how to draw a giraffe.
Everything about the paintings look, you know,
fine for a children's room mural. Sure. And then
a giraffe. The shittiest, like really crap. So
did she do the same mural? twice did i hate it
was it was a night scene in one of them uh in
in maddie's room and then uh in daytime and then
like no animals in the first one in the egg donor
one yeah oh man okay don't watch this movie anybody
ever So next up, we've got a movie called 2 -1
-1, which I'm assuming is some sort of like cop
code, but I didn't bother looking it up. And
I did read one review on IMDb from Craig Newman,
1973. He said, you like wood? Great. Boy, I'm
in already. This is terrific. I love wood. Great.
Just check out the acting in this abomination.
A shame is the camera work is actually OK, but
the bloody acting, if you can call it that, is
so stilted and forced, it's untrue. Nice. I already
hate his review of it because he said bloody.
Yeah, fair enough. Sorry, British people. Invalid.
all right yeah so anyway thanks for listening
to this one um we'll be back in two weeks and
uh if you are interested in supporting us on
patreon we are there at cage match pod and thank
you to our sparkle buddies josh josie matt adam
ah uh bill stewart and willow and to our cage
dancers john freeman nathan and cameron and to
bill panks for our intro music um thank you we
watched it so you don't have to Yeah, we just
make a new pot or rename this podcast. Fucking
listen, don't watch. Listen, don't watch. It's
fine. Yeah. Is Nick just taking a huge duker?
I don't know. It wouldn't be the first time at
my house, but maybe it is. I don't know. No,
it's definitely not. yeah it can't be you pooped
at my house before right he's probably probably
vaping back there these youths love to vape