WEBVTT

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Oh, God. Oh, my God. She was in Ghost Rider,

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right? Which one? Or which she? That's more what

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I meant. Yeah. Are you talking about Gina Gershon?

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never mind fuck yeah all women look the same

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to me gina gershon was in face off though that's

00:00:38.039 --> 00:00:41.579
what i'm thinking of fuck this movie bored my

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face off all right well it was good it was good

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to be here thank you all for being here see you

00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:51.399
next time i mean we it would be great if we just

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ended right now so nick does a single episode

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Bye. Bye. I think it was last Saturday. I bought

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a teapot new in the box at Goodwill. And when

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I got home and unboxed it to wash it, it was

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packed with bags of shrimps. Nice. Just freebies.

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I love it. Goodwill drugs, man. Just Lucy's.

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That's pretty cool. Yeah. So how many trips have

00:01:25.010 --> 00:01:27.750
you gone on? I'm not doing that. Take the drugs.

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I'm not. I'm not. Take the drugs or not taking

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thrift store drugs. What's the worst thing you

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would find in a teapot from a Goodwill? The movie.

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what was it inconceivable imbecile it would be

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amazing if you opened up a teapot and you found

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inconceivable inside of it you're just like oh

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man now i'm gonna burn this teapot bummer at

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least you'd have a pretty cool like tea thingy

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to set it on what do they call those uh it's

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like a coaster for your teapot it's a it's a

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thingamabob it's uh when it's so it's like when

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it's hot yeah it's not a trivet It's a because

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it's specifically it seems like it would be a

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trivet. You would think it's a trivet. It feels

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trivet esque. Yeah, this whole thing seems very

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trivity. No, I'll never know. I'll never know.

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And we're not going to look it up now. So this

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is in a teapot. No. If only it were today. Yeah,

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I know. Weirdly, at this point, it's still a

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Nicolas Cage podcast. Having said that, welcome

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back to Cage Magical and a roundabout way of

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meeting Nicolas Cage. I'm Sean, here with my

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co -host. And our producer. Peter, hello. And

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we welcome back our special guest, Adam. Say

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hi, Adam. It's good to be back. I'm glad we're

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doing this. Is this your third? I was wondering

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that. I think it's my fourth because I think

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I did both National Treasures and then I did

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Crowley's Mandolin against. Oh, that's right.

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Yeah. Nine millimeter. Nine millimeter. Oh, God,

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those movies sucked. Eight millimeter, but close

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enough. I believe you made that same mistake

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when we did that episode. I definitely did. Sean

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is not the person I expect to make gun related

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slip of the tongue. Yeah, right. I live in Oregon

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now. So now you love guns? I love guns. That's

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what they do. Yeah, that's what they do. I didn't

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know. Yeah, that was an Oregon thing. I love

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guns in Jesus. Yeah, they just hang out the side

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of the max like shooting guns. Nice. On TriMet.

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Shooting guns. Have you watched Fox News lately?

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When they pull the teapot off the stove, they

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just set it on a gun to keep it from burning

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the countertop. Fucking love guns, dude. All

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right, cool. Oregon rules. There's only a device

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for that. That's definitely called a trivet.

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No, no, no, no, no. It's a gun coaster. Got it.

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Nailed it. So we're in the thick of the 2017

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Nick Cage movies, which are all medium bad to

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bad. This one also is from that same year. It

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is called Inconceivable. It is a dinosaur skull

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to pay off. He was still making. He did have

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a dinosaur skull to pay off. Yeah. Where do we

00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:22.019
begin with this one? Well, this movie was written

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by three high school sophomore boys and it was

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directed by two other high school sophomore boys.

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It opens with explains the boobs. It opens. Yep.

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I thought we were going to have a great movie.

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I saw two pairs of boobs. It opens with Nicolas

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Cage jogging ostensibly to make him relatable

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as a human. It was maybe the most real looking

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human man running. I've seen. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

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He and his wife play doctors and like in the

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sexy way. Sure. They try a few times, but zero

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to zero results. Yeah. And let's see. Early in

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the movie, his wife takes their daughter to the

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park because every scene either happens around

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a dinner table in their backyard or at this one

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part of this one park because the set didn't

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exist. um there was a there was a lake too and

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let's see there she they blew it all on that

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house though oh yeah absolutely okay every interior

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shot is definitely shot in that house on some

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other like some other room in that house totally

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the hospital house house yep hospital it's just

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the one it's like the office it's upsettingly

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large doctor money man yeah we fucked up I know,

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right? By being an idiot. While at the park in

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the first three to five minutes of the movie,

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she meets her friend there who also has a small

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kid and then some random woman who does not have

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a small kid and is just hanging out at this kid

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park. That's their best friend. And then they

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all become best friends and get a little wine

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drunk on a play date and then have a sleepover,

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which I guess is just a totally normal fucking

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thing that... grown -ups accidentally do when

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they don't really know each other again written

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by teenagers it makes sense it's like and then

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they all fell asleep in their underwear yeah

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right after having a pillow fight so the next

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morning uh the new friend i don't remember the

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actor's name she's australian Oh, Nikki, Nikki

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Whalen. There you go. So she's just making everybody

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breakfast. And Nick Cage is just like super fine

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that there's just a rando stranger in their house

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making breakfast. And from there, well, he was

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fine when he saw the weird sleepover. Yeah, right.

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It was just like, well, girls are going to be

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girls. Yeah. And so I don't there's there's like

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definitely like time jumps in in this script,

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but they don't really. address that so you're

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not sure you're not sure if the next scene is

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happening like later that afternoon or eight

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months later you don't know it's not until like

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you get to measure like a pregnancy that is the

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only part of this script that allows the viewer

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any opportunity for inference like every other

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part of this script is like i'm using this scene

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to tell the viewer exactly what's happening in

00:07:18.430 --> 00:07:22.600
the plot yeah let's see um We're going back to

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like they're all sitting around having dinner

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in a backyard. This could have been the next

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day. It could have been the same day. It could

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have been six months later from the breakfast.

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Right. And she becomes their nanny. In the weirdest,

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most contrived scene possible. She's like, I

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have to leave town for work. No, just move in

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with us. OK. Why don't you just stay? You're

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so cool and fun and nice. And my daughter loves

00:07:45.579 --> 00:07:49.379
you. It was it was like. It was like Renee Zellweger

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with you had me at hello, just like stopping

00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:55.319
and being like, fine, I'll I'll go along with

00:07:55.319 --> 00:07:57.879
what you're saying, except it was dumber and

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way more painful to watch. Oh, God, it was terrible.

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So then she becomes the nanny and starts kind

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of like fucking the third friend that introduced

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to them all. And then that lady's jacked, by

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the way. And then. oh uh and then and stacked

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jacked and stacked she moved so she she also

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moves in with them and that had to happen just

00:08:24.009 --> 00:08:27.050
for the obligatory like tit scene so they could

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show some some boobs which again had nothing

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to do with anything. That was just like, she

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just like went into the pool one night and then

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that was the end of the scene. In her underwear,

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but topless. Yeah, right. My favorite review

00:08:42.100 --> 00:08:45.500
of this film, part of it just says, there is

00:08:45.500 --> 00:08:48.360
no need to see Nikki Whelan's boobs. We already

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know what a good actress she is. it's just such

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a great dig oh actually it's it's probably important

00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:57.840
to bring up that right before or what led into

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the the boob scene nick cage and uh gina gershon

00:09:02.220 --> 00:09:04.799
thank you gina gershon uh he was trying to get

00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:07.279
fresh with her gina gherkin she she said no because

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she had just had a miscarriage and that's so

00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:11.659
we're starting to get this idea that they had

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they have trouble conceiving and um they already

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have one daughter this was a very confusing time

00:09:18.110 --> 00:09:20.750
jump too yeah yeah because she just like it feels

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like she had the miscarriage and then he's like

00:09:22.370 --> 00:09:25.269
well let me get up in there and it's also again

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talking time jumps she's like announces to her

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her friend you know and she's like yeah i'm pregnant

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don't tell i haven't even talked to brian yet

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and then it's like immediate time jump uncertain

00:09:36.110 --> 00:09:39.389
amount of time miscarriage is it the next day

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yeah maybe yeah you probably shouldn't have told

00:09:42.870 --> 00:09:46.809
brian yeah probably not um boy that's confusing

00:09:46.809 --> 00:09:49.750
i wish i knew had more context for the miscarriage

00:09:49.750 --> 00:09:53.389
like was she like trampolining a lot like there's

00:09:53.389 --> 00:09:55.710
so much in that time period that i wish i had

00:09:56.169 --> 00:09:58.529
So many hot wings. I needed more from this movie.

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I needed more constantly. Oh, did you? Yeah.

00:10:01.690 --> 00:10:06.769
Oh, boy. It really had me on the edge of my seat

00:10:06.769 --> 00:10:09.409
the whole time. This movie desperately, desperately

00:10:09.409 --> 00:10:11.450
needed an editor. There were just so many scenes

00:10:11.450 --> 00:10:12.690
where it's like, OK, so they're sitting around

00:10:12.690 --> 00:10:14.870
explaining the plot to each other at the dinner

00:10:14.870 --> 00:10:17.120
table. And then it would be like. Well, now would

00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.320
you like some more lemonade? It's like, no, thank

00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:21.600
you. I'm OK. Do you need any help cleaning up

00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:24.559
the dishes? Sure, I guess so. And then it would

00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:27.919
cut is like, what? Yeah, this movie needed an

00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:31.899
adult. Somebody to just say, no, no, you don't

00:10:31.899 --> 00:10:35.200
get to make this movie. I just had no idea what

00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:38.600
this movie was trying to be. Like every 15 minutes,

00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:41.100
I thought it was trying to be a different movie.

00:10:41.179 --> 00:10:44.820
So it's like, OK, so she's. trying to steal Gina

00:10:44.820 --> 00:10:47.799
Gershon's family and like steal the husband and

00:10:47.799 --> 00:10:49.659
like, you know, hand that rocks the cradle. No,

00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:52.759
that's not it. She's an abuse victim who got

00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:54.139
away from her husband. Cause that's the first

00:10:54.139 --> 00:10:57.740
scene of the movie. Nope. She, the movie just

00:10:57.740 --> 00:11:00.019
left out crucial context that she was just a

00:11:00.019 --> 00:11:03.320
kidnapper, but wait, I'm the baby's real mother,

00:11:03.379 --> 00:11:05.940
but she's crazy. No, she's actually like an egg

00:11:05.940 --> 00:11:08.500
donor. It just every 20 minutes, they're like,

00:11:08.580 --> 00:11:11.710
here's something even weirder. But delivered

00:11:11.710 --> 00:11:15.570
with no panache at all. I had made a note at

00:11:15.570 --> 00:11:19.110
one point that this script felt like the product

00:11:19.110 --> 00:11:22.389
of like a semester long, like high school film

00:11:22.389 --> 00:11:26.649
class project. Totally. That like, okay, so we're

00:11:26.649 --> 00:11:30.960
going to make a psych thriller. What? are the

00:11:30.960 --> 00:11:33.779
larger tropes that always go into that do that

00:11:33.779 --> 00:11:36.899
boobs and then any any other thing that they

00:11:36.899 --> 00:11:38.480
wanted to put in there it was like we don't have

00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:43.179
time for it we just we just got him each scene

00:11:43.179 --> 00:11:45.940
has to be exactly something that would be in

00:11:45.940 --> 00:11:48.860
a psychological thriller and it has to feel way

00:11:48.860 --> 00:11:52.740
longer than it actually is at every step of the

00:11:52.740 --> 00:11:55.659
movie no what this feels like to me this is just

00:11:55.659 --> 00:11:58.720
a really improv extra says that went way too

00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:00.940
far because every scene yes and the last scene

00:12:00.940 --> 00:12:06.200
like first scene uh what you know battered wife

00:12:06.200 --> 00:12:08.120
running away accidentally kills her husband cool

00:12:08.120 --> 00:12:11.559
you know in hiding brown hair can't tell it's

00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:14.259
the same person next scene wait she actually

00:12:14.259 --> 00:12:17.039
killed uh the mother and kidnapped the baby wait

00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.279
next scene she was actually the biological mother

00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:21.340
of the baby because she donated her eggs next

00:12:21.340 --> 00:12:25.639
scene and just every scene just takes it up another

00:12:25.639 --> 00:12:29.120
notch except with no energy but with no energy

00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:34.220
it's all it's sideways notches oh man okay so

00:12:34.220 --> 00:12:36.100
this movie isn't it's an hour and 40 minutes

00:12:36.100 --> 00:12:39.460
long and it felt like fucking five hours and

00:12:39.460 --> 00:12:42.379
it didn't help that rachel was doing taxes while

00:12:42.379 --> 00:12:45.019
i was watching this and both the girls were struggling

00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:47.080
to fall asleep so i was constantly having to

00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:49.700
get up and like help out a child or like answer

00:12:49.700 --> 00:12:52.759
a tax filing question And I'm like, this thing

00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:56.740
never ends. Never. I remember you texting me

00:12:56.740 --> 00:12:58.159
when you're just like, oh, my God, I still have

00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:01.539
50 minutes of this. It took me it took me three

00:13:01.539 --> 00:13:03.360
hours to watch it and I didn't have anything

00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:06.379
else going on. I blocked out the time I needed

00:13:06.379 --> 00:13:07.820
and was like, great, I'll be done with this by

00:13:07.820 --> 00:13:10.259
three this afternoon. And I was not because I

00:13:10.259 --> 00:13:12.480
just had to keep pausing and like I had to go

00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:14.759
do something else. And eventually I'd be like,

00:13:14.840 --> 00:13:18.870
wow. I really need to get this watched or remind

00:13:18.870 --> 00:13:23.509
yourself that you want to live. I did the same

00:13:23.509 --> 00:13:25.690
every like every 20 minutes. I'm like, I'm going

00:13:25.690 --> 00:13:28.950
to pause this and go just question all my life

00:13:28.950 --> 00:13:30.610
decisions for a bit and then come back. Crank

00:13:30.610 --> 00:13:34.649
one out real quick. I got to feel good. We're

00:13:34.649 --> 00:13:37.950
saying the same thing. Oh, man. No, I powerhouse

00:13:37.950 --> 00:13:40.230
that. I didn't stop. I don't think I even like

00:13:40.230 --> 00:13:43.029
stood up. I just sat down and I was like, fucking

00:13:43.029 --> 00:13:45.860
get it over with. Let's just go. didn't blink

00:13:45.860 --> 00:13:48.759
once yeah no josey held my eyes open your eyes

00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:55.899
your blue eyes just were crystal okay uh those

00:13:55.899 --> 00:13:59.500
like blue eye contacts at one point like uh gina

00:13:59.500 --> 00:14:02.419
gherkins in the bathroom and she finds those

00:14:02.419 --> 00:14:04.639
and she's like oh my god she she wears contacts

00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:06.820
i'm like motherfucker we just had a close -up

00:14:06.820 --> 00:14:09.480
shot of you you're wearing contacts i can see

00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:13.200
your contacts i'm also I mean, everybody, everybody's

00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:17.019
guilty of opening a medicine cabinet with your

00:14:17.019 --> 00:14:18.539
host's medicine cabinet when you're over for

00:14:18.539 --> 00:14:20.360
dinner party or whatever. I have never looked

00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:22.460
inside somebody's contacts case. Opened them

00:14:22.460 --> 00:14:24.659
up. Yeah. Yeah. It's been like, I'm curious.

00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:29.059
I bet that bitch is. Just try them on. Like,

00:14:29.059 --> 00:14:31.259
oh, let's see what her fucking eyes do. Oh, God,

00:14:31.460 --> 00:14:36.139
you are blind. Gross. Every everything. Why do

00:14:36.139 --> 00:14:38.940
people put on somebody's glasses and go, oh,

00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:42.139
my God, you're so blind. what is your fucking

00:14:42.139 --> 00:14:44.480
frame of reference for this these are my eyes

00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:47.440
like anything's bad yeah you put these on it's

00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:51.120
gonna look fucking weird for you every everything

00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:56.279
in this script there's sort of designs of i don't

00:14:56.279 --> 00:14:58.899
know it advanced the plot yeah the railroadiness

00:14:58.899 --> 00:15:01.220
right it was it was just it was just lazy everything

00:15:01.220 --> 00:15:04.080
was like lazy as fuck like well okay what do

00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:08.250
we what are we going to use for the whole entrapment

00:15:08.250 --> 00:15:09.870
thing? I don't know. Make her a drug addict.

00:15:09.889 --> 00:15:13.889
Should we explain that? Nah, she just, she, no,

00:15:14.029 --> 00:15:16.769
she just, we just sort of find out. Yeah. And

00:15:16.769 --> 00:15:19.529
it's never explained. No, I mean, it is explained,

00:15:19.549 --> 00:15:21.970
but just very ham fistedly. And like where she's

00:15:21.970 --> 00:15:24.090
just like, I used to be addicted to pills, but

00:15:24.090 --> 00:15:26.809
I'm not anymore. And then an hour later, they

00:15:26.809 --> 00:15:29.509
bring that back up. I needed it to get through

00:15:29.509 --> 00:15:32.269
the pregnancy and then the after pregnancy and

00:15:32.269 --> 00:15:35.590
then just Thursdays. Am I right? When when that

00:15:35.590 --> 00:15:38.610
came up, I was sitting there like, did I sort

00:15:38.610 --> 00:15:41.539
of did I miss like. five or seven minutes of

00:15:41.539 --> 00:15:46.580
really crucial content in this movie. I didn't

00:15:46.580 --> 00:15:48.860
know she'd been addicted to pills. Was this ever

00:15:48.860 --> 00:15:51.720
talked about? And then I just, I just zoned out.

00:15:51.779 --> 00:15:53.600
I know everybody that's a big party and everyone's

00:15:53.600 --> 00:16:01.039
like, Oh no, not again. Back on the pills. Jesus

00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:06.100
Christ. Come on, Angela. The concept of like

00:16:06.100 --> 00:16:08.799
egg donor being like these parents aren't taking

00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:12.419
good care of my babies is kind of OK. Like that's

00:16:12.419 --> 00:16:15.379
a decent conceptual thriller, but there's still

00:16:15.379 --> 00:16:18.200
so much that goes into like this is all anonymous.

00:16:18.379 --> 00:16:20.480
Right. So like they had to add in that extra

00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:23.179
layer of like, well, she also killed the lady

00:16:23.179 --> 00:16:26.019
who ran the department. So she got the donors

00:16:26.019 --> 00:16:30.480
for egg market. Fuck, man. OK, if that was my

00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:34.190
business and that's the like. promotional video

00:16:34.190 --> 00:16:38.250
that was shot for it that fucking shutter it

00:16:38.250 --> 00:16:40.710
there's no fucking reason to have a business

00:16:40.710 --> 00:16:44.629
with promotional video that bad yeah it looked

00:16:44.629 --> 00:16:47.970
like it was shot on an iphone 4 i love how so

00:16:47.970 --> 00:16:50.950
there's the video which is the big like giveaway

00:16:50.950 --> 00:16:54.549
for the mystery for gina gershon but there's

00:16:54.549 --> 00:16:57.950
this video She calls the place to try and get

00:16:57.950 --> 00:16:59.690
some information. It's like, I'd like to talk

00:16:59.690 --> 00:17:01.429
to the woman from the video. She's been dead

00:17:01.429 --> 00:17:05.230
for four years. Why didn't you take down the

00:17:05.230 --> 00:17:07.450
video? Yeah, exactly. Get a different video.

00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:10.609
Perfect opportunity. Clearly, she greenlit the

00:17:10.609 --> 00:17:14.009
shit video. She's gone. Let's get somebody new

00:17:14.009 --> 00:17:16.549
in there. Let's get a fresh fucking face. Or

00:17:16.549 --> 00:17:19.009
just a close up on eggs. Repaint that goddamn

00:17:19.009 --> 00:17:23.809
wall. But the third friend, when she was murdered,

00:17:24.750 --> 00:17:27.769
the very next scene two strangers find her murdered

00:17:27.769 --> 00:17:29.829
body and then it's just like never addressed

00:17:29.829 --> 00:17:32.890
nobody talks about it ever i love when they find

00:17:32.890 --> 00:17:35.109
linda's body on the beach and those people just

00:17:35.109 --> 00:17:37.130
are walking along and then they look down it's

00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:41.650
like hey that's it you think that's a reaction

00:17:41.650 --> 00:17:46.430
fucking corpse sitting on top of rocks it's like

00:17:46.430 --> 00:17:50.950
huh body i did like so yeah katie kills linda

00:17:50.950 --> 00:17:53.150
and then it's later described as a boating accident

00:17:53.150 --> 00:17:56.890
but i like before the murder happens they're

00:17:56.890 --> 00:17:59.609
on a public beach with people on it just everyone

00:17:59.609 --> 00:18:02.130
decided to leave so murder could happen i want

00:18:02.130 --> 00:18:04.849
to know why she was carrying that barbell like

00:18:05.349 --> 00:18:07.549
Was nobody curious? Like, Oh, I'm packing my

00:18:07.549 --> 00:18:11.869
beach stuff. Here's one kettlebell. And it's

00:18:11.869 --> 00:18:14.509
like, what the fuck? Well, Linda was jacked.

00:18:14.509 --> 00:18:17.210
So you, if you, if you're going to be jacked,

00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:19.529
you got to stay jacked and keep jacking all the

00:18:19.529 --> 00:18:22.390
time. ABJ always be jacked. This is Ohio. It's

00:18:22.390 --> 00:18:25.130
not like Venice beach though. Like it's in no

00:18:25.130 --> 00:18:29.869
way necessary. Thank you, Sean. Sean knows how

00:18:29.869 --> 00:18:32.410
to get in shape. Everybody jacket right now.

00:18:34.089 --> 00:18:36.809
you remember that movie uh what is it lady in

00:18:36.809 --> 00:18:38.690
the water or whatever the m night shamalan and

00:18:38.690 --> 00:18:40.490
then there was that one dude with the like one

00:18:40.490 --> 00:18:46.650
arm yeah he fucking squeezes a mad hog that's

00:18:46.650 --> 00:18:49.269
all let's talk about that movie what are the

00:18:49.269 --> 00:18:51.170
there's like creatures in there called scrunts

00:18:51.170 --> 00:18:53.009
or some shit something like that i don't know

00:18:53.009 --> 00:18:56.710
what a weird movie i have a weird dude i only

00:18:56.710 --> 00:18:59.349
think about big arm dude that's the only one

00:18:59.349 --> 00:19:02.140
that matters yeah that is a life goal to just

00:19:02.140 --> 00:19:06.440
like work out one arm super hard not gonna be

00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:09.880
a plot point at all later like the the ice i

00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:11.700
don't know i always assumed it was russian but

00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:14.160
i have no idea why you stand across from each

00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:15.859
other and you just smack one another and each

00:19:15.859 --> 00:19:19.119
guy has like one huge arm the slap fights those

00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:21.599
are pretty amazing it is weird when you see that

00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:23.440
in slow motion too you can see like somebody's

00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:27.990
skull move around under their skin they should

00:19:27.990 --> 00:19:30.569
have incorporated that into this movie that barbell

00:19:30.569 --> 00:19:34.029
just braining here that would have okay that

00:19:34.029 --> 00:19:37.369
would have made at least the knockout and murder

00:19:37.369 --> 00:19:38.869
scene a little more believable have you ever

00:19:38.869 --> 00:19:40.490
seen somebody get knocked out or have you been

00:19:40.490 --> 00:19:43.230
knocked out hell yeah you don't stand up unconscious

00:19:43.230 --> 00:19:46.390
for three or four seconds before just kind of

00:19:46.390 --> 00:19:48.710
slightly teetering over yeah you're done that

00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:53.670
i mean go down like potatoes right It's not worth

00:19:53.670 --> 00:19:55.430
getting into because there were so many other

00:19:55.430 --> 00:19:57.470
scenes in this movie that were so much dumber,

00:19:57.549 --> 00:20:00.750
but it was pretty dumb. The murder scene was

00:20:00.750 --> 00:20:03.250
really bad. I wish they had done underwear for

00:20:03.250 --> 00:20:04.990
that, too, because she had to get in the water.

00:20:05.490 --> 00:20:08.470
So what? Why didn't she take her tits out then?

00:20:08.990 --> 00:20:11.390
Fair, because they could only afford that argument.

00:20:11.910 --> 00:20:15.170
Thank you. It can only afford it once. It's a

00:20:15.170 --> 00:20:17.589
it's a public beach. There's people around. You

00:20:17.589 --> 00:20:20.390
can't be naked. You can murder people, but totally

00:20:20.390 --> 00:20:24.309
kill people. Considering her passion for drowning

00:20:24.309 --> 00:20:26.650
women, I was really hoping the pool would come

00:20:26.650 --> 00:20:28.849
into play in the third act. It doesn't. Nope.

00:20:29.390 --> 00:20:31.970
Also, check out his fucking motorcycle. Why does

00:20:31.970 --> 00:20:35.210
Nick Cage have a motorcycle? Again. To show he's

00:20:35.210 --> 00:20:37.869
cool as fucking shit. Yeah, so he can get on

00:20:37.869 --> 00:20:39.690
it at the end of the movie, ride off. He doesn't

00:20:39.690 --> 00:20:41.349
even get it on at the end of the movie. He rides

00:20:41.349 --> 00:20:44.589
it once. Don Johnson. Exactly. I wish he had

00:20:44.589 --> 00:20:46.849
ridden off like Don Johnson. Fuck this family.

00:20:46.869 --> 00:20:49.809
Don Johnson had the ultimate exit. That was good.

00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:53.940
The whole different movie. Yep. That's for the

00:20:53.940 --> 00:20:57.640
deep listeners. I will say, this movie has nothing

00:20:57.640 --> 00:21:00.779
going for it except the last 10 minutes I was

00:21:00.779 --> 00:21:04.259
fully on board for after Gina Gershon gets a

00:21:04.259 --> 00:21:07.400
sabbed and the doctor and they find out that

00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:11.319
Katie is the biological mother of like all the

00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:13.880
children. And then the doctor comes out and it

00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:16.980
goes into slow -mo and he like takes off the

00:21:16.980 --> 00:21:20.769
mask and gives a slow. head shake and nick cage

00:21:20.769 --> 00:21:24.529
starts crying and then he like gets like angry

00:21:24.529 --> 00:21:27.029
nick cage snarl for the rest of the film what

00:21:27.029 --> 00:21:29.670
was what was the doctor yeah what was he saying

00:21:29.670 --> 00:21:33.509
no to like i don't know to tell us that we're

00:21:33.509 --> 00:21:37.369
out of coke every attempted every attempt at

00:21:37.369 --> 00:21:40.009
an emotional beat in this film is just the film

00:21:40.009 --> 00:21:43.789
leaving out crucial information yeah but i loved

00:21:43.789 --> 00:21:47.700
i was so waiting for the other shoe to drop in

00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:49.660
the last scene where he like wheels katie out

00:21:49.660 --> 00:21:52.799
to the maternity ward or the baby ward the baby

00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:57.500
room to show him to show her uh gabrielle gabriel

00:21:57.500 --> 00:22:00.960
uh and nick cage is like he's getting fairly

00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:03.500
unhinged and he like goes in and grabs the first

00:22:03.500 --> 00:22:06.980
i thought the nurse was gina gershon i thought

00:22:06.980 --> 00:22:09.240
so too i was i was waiting for a big reveal and

00:22:09.240 --> 00:22:11.680
didn't have him like ah shit she just turns and

00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:14.869
is like Bitch grabs the baby and jumps out a

00:22:14.869 --> 00:22:16.990
window. She's supposedly dead at this point.

00:22:17.089 --> 00:22:18.490
But then when Nick Cage goes in the room and

00:22:18.490 --> 00:22:20.589
picks up that baby, because he what does he say

00:22:20.589 --> 00:22:22.369
to Katie right before? Like he goes to see the

00:22:22.369 --> 00:22:24.309
baby like this is the last time you'll ever see

00:22:24.309 --> 00:22:26.450
him. And he goes in there like, is he going to

00:22:26.450 --> 00:22:30.549
fucking spike that baby? He's going to like chuck

00:22:30.549 --> 00:22:33.609
it up against the glass or something. Fuck your

00:22:33.609 --> 00:22:39.269
poison dicks. I was very upset that they kept

00:22:39.269 --> 00:22:42.809
all the babies in the end. Like, ew, god, no,

00:22:42.890 --> 00:22:44.950
I don't want your fucking wild -ass crazy babies.

00:22:45.470 --> 00:22:47.289
I mean, technically, they're all... All three

00:22:47.289 --> 00:22:50.950
of these are tainted. Yeah. Yeah. Maddie has

00:22:50.950 --> 00:22:54.569
a zero relation to you. Well, she is the sister

00:22:54.569 --> 00:22:58.130
of Cora. Yeah. Half -sister. And then it ends

00:22:58.130 --> 00:23:01.730
with her in that padded, solitary padded room.

00:23:01.769 --> 00:23:04.210
What a sick -ass room, though. It was huge. I

00:23:04.210 --> 00:23:05.869
was like, yeah, I wish I had that fucking...

00:23:05.869 --> 00:23:08.150
Yeah, I wish I had that much space in my apartment.

00:23:08.730 --> 00:23:10.750
Wait, my brain must have shut off. There was

00:23:10.750 --> 00:23:13.410
a scene where she got cool padded room action.

00:23:13.529 --> 00:23:16.829
Yeah. So it's her at the end in an asylum, presumably.

00:23:16.869 --> 00:23:19.490
Is it like a post credit scene? No, it was before

00:23:19.490 --> 00:23:21.230
it was before the end scene where he comes into

00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:23.190
the bedroom. They're all like snuggled up as

00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:25.490
a family. Awesome. This movie gave me brain damage

00:23:25.490 --> 00:23:29.269
like before it ended, how it started with him

00:23:29.269 --> 00:23:32.890
finishing a jog. Yeah, that's right. That was

00:23:32.890 --> 00:23:35.710
the other thing. When he goes into the room and

00:23:35.710 --> 00:23:38.430
like it's kind of like. Got that weird glow on

00:23:38.430 --> 00:23:40.930
it. I'm like, oh, he's had a complete mental

00:23:40.930 --> 00:23:42.789
collapse. Like she's actually dead. And he's

00:23:42.789 --> 00:23:44.769
like, he's the one in the padded room imagining

00:23:44.769 --> 00:23:47.990
like his life after his wife and baby died. How

00:23:47.990 --> 00:23:51.509
fucking casual were those cops, by the way? Were

00:23:51.509 --> 00:23:54.950
they just in on it? Was Brian just like offside?

00:23:55.049 --> 00:23:58.029
Yo, dogs, this is going to be a great payout.

00:23:58.089 --> 00:24:02.130
This is going to fucking slap. So I'm going to

00:24:02.130 --> 00:24:05.400
wheel. The wild, crazy lady out there who just

00:24:05.400 --> 00:24:07.839
had a C -section. But don't worry, she will stand

00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:11.240
up and walk around and get super angry and pound

00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:14.259
on things. Don't worry about it. Just wait. Just

00:24:14.259 --> 00:24:16.799
wait. Your time comes. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:18.420
She'll be fine. We're going to expose. We're

00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:22.740
going to bring out my wife, my wife, and she

00:24:22.740 --> 00:24:26.339
is going to make things even wilder. Now you

00:24:26.339 --> 00:24:29.559
can arrest. It's like casually walk up. Hey,

00:24:29.579 --> 00:24:32.420
you want to cuff yourself? Oh, oh, oh, yeah,

00:24:32.500 --> 00:24:34.599
we're here to arrest. Come on, come on, lady.

00:24:35.559 --> 00:24:38.319
This movie sucks. It does suck. There's that

00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.440
scene. OK, so the doctor comes out and is like,

00:24:40.579 --> 00:24:42.259
oh, I'm sorry, your wife is apparently dead.

00:24:42.380 --> 00:24:44.619
You mean the director? Is that the director?

00:24:44.819 --> 00:24:48.019
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. The doctor in the beginning,

00:24:48.099 --> 00:24:52.930
the one who. sits at the picnic table twice and

00:24:52.930 --> 00:24:55.589
doesn't say anything. Two different scenes, doesn't

00:24:55.589 --> 00:24:57.450
talk. That's because he's a horrible actor. That

00:24:57.450 --> 00:25:00.410
dude is the worst. This is his only directing

00:25:00.410 --> 00:25:03.910
credit. Everything else is like acting and producing.

00:25:04.130 --> 00:25:08.809
He is an actor. No, he's not. That guy sucked.

00:25:09.150 --> 00:25:12.750
He was so bad. IMDB claims that he's an actor.

00:25:12.930 --> 00:25:16.089
He had the weirdest haircut as well. Weird haircut,

00:25:16.210 --> 00:25:18.450
weird way of delivering lines. Man, he sucked.

00:25:18.650 --> 00:25:22.569
Jonathan Baker. Yeah. But no, the doctor who

00:25:22.569 --> 00:25:24.250
comes out and is, you know, the slow, somber

00:25:24.250 --> 00:25:26.230
head shake. And then immediately is Nick Cage

00:25:26.230 --> 00:25:28.750
in the like, we're about to give you a C -section

00:25:28.750 --> 00:25:31.490
room. Katie just like decides that this is the

00:25:31.490 --> 00:25:33.650
time to be like, Brian, I love you. And also

00:25:33.650 --> 00:25:35.490
I'm going to like kind of kiss your face as I'm

00:25:35.490 --> 00:25:40.109
being tucked away from you. That's delightful.

00:25:40.190 --> 00:25:43.670
What is going on with this movie? Wait, the the

00:25:43.670 --> 00:25:47.289
director was. Was that the guy doing the ultrasounds?

00:25:48.009 --> 00:25:50.609
No, the director was the one that she brought

00:25:50.609 --> 00:25:53.250
the DNA sample to. Yeah, it's this guy. Remember

00:25:53.250 --> 00:25:56.549
that one? Yeah, everybody at home? Yeah. This

00:25:56.549 --> 00:25:58.089
one? Yeah, the picture that we're looking at.

00:25:58.230 --> 00:26:03.470
Yeah. I mean, he looks cool. He looks like melanin.

00:26:04.490 --> 00:26:07.069
No, I take it back. My phone was just crooked.

00:26:07.150 --> 00:26:11.400
He doesn't look like anybody cool. I mean, we

00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:13.740
can complain about any scene, pick a scene. I

00:26:13.740 --> 00:26:17.059
can find something wrong with it. But the, the

00:26:17.059 --> 00:26:20.279
ultrasound scene, when she like blacks out and

00:26:20.279 --> 00:26:22.380
wakes up screaming, you thought you said it would

00:26:22.380 --> 00:26:24.400
be safe. And like, nobody was like, dude, are

00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.779
you okay? Like what, what, what happened to you?

00:26:26.859 --> 00:26:28.359
It's like, it's okay. Nothing can hurt you now.

00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:30.180
And he's just like, you're good. And so is the

00:26:30.180 --> 00:26:33.440
baby. And then they just leave. Remember when

00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:37.640
the kids bonked heads and then she's like, come

00:26:37.640 --> 00:26:39.400
on, let's go inside and get you some Neosporin.

00:26:42.410 --> 00:26:44.529
What? You know what fucking neosporin on just

00:26:44.529 --> 00:26:47.309
like a bump? Just like loose neosporin on your

00:26:47.309 --> 00:26:49.490
forehead. Come on, kid. Let me grease up that

00:26:49.490 --> 00:26:52.150
noggin. What the fuck? That way they just glance

00:26:52.150 --> 00:26:53.950
off each other next time. I mean, that way when

00:26:53.950 --> 00:26:55.690
they bump heads, yeah, they slide off each other.

00:26:55.750 --> 00:26:59.349
It's fine. That's why I always grease up my babies.

00:27:00.210 --> 00:27:03.650
Just a bunch of greasy babies. This movie was

00:27:03.650 --> 00:27:07.309
a high school film class assignment and every.

00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:11.200
Every student got to write one scene, and the

00:27:11.200 --> 00:27:13.460
only thing they knew about the scenes before

00:27:13.460 --> 00:27:15.599
theirs and after theirs was through the telephone

00:27:15.599 --> 00:27:18.079
game, so they kind of had the information they

00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:20.660
needed. It's like that art exercise of an exquisite

00:27:20.660 --> 00:27:22.319
corpse where you only get part of the picture

00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:23.819
that somebody else has drawn, and then you're

00:27:23.819 --> 00:27:25.259
like, well, I'll draw from that, and then you

00:27:25.259 --> 00:27:27.039
fold it again, you hand it to the next person,

00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:30.059
they continue it on. Yeah. There are two kids

00:27:30.059 --> 00:27:33.400
who got B pluses for writing this film. The ones

00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:37.650
who had the boobs? Nailed it. Oh, yeah. OK. Speaking

00:27:37.650 --> 00:27:39.569
of burying the lead on boobs. So there's that

00:27:39.569 --> 00:27:42.230
scene in the beginning where he's going to go

00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:44.470
to work. Right. And she's like, make sure you

00:27:44.470 --> 00:27:47.450
say, you know, something to Beth or whatever.

00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:49.750
It's her birthday. And he's like, wait, which

00:27:49.750 --> 00:27:52.289
one? She's like the redhead with the big. He's

00:27:52.289 --> 00:27:55.670
like, oh, yeah, the big the big boobs. Then when

00:27:55.670 --> 00:27:58.329
they show the work, they never show the fucking

00:27:58.329 --> 00:28:01.119
big boob lady. They couldn't find one. Couldn't

00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:04.000
find a hot redhead with big boobs. Which is ridiculous.

00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:09.779
Yeah, come on. Dime a dozen. Maybe that's why

00:28:09.779 --> 00:28:12.160
they didn't show it. Maybe. Too common. Maybe

00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:14.559
she was also wearing a shitty wig. I'm curious.

00:28:14.619 --> 00:28:17.579
Does anybody have anything good? Is there something

00:28:17.579 --> 00:28:20.059
about this movie that was like, OK, that was

00:28:20.059 --> 00:28:24.160
fine. I thought Gina Gershon did an OK job. Yeah.

00:28:24.680 --> 00:28:26.880
Again, I love the last 10 minutes of this movie.

00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:29.859
Again, as soon as like Dr. Shade had. head shake

00:28:29.859 --> 00:28:33.359
comes out and it's like and uh we're like Angela's

00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:35.839
dead I was laughing my ass off because I'm like

00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:39.039
this movie just it this is like shark jumping

00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:44.200
territory for like how this is because like she's

00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:46.319
not dead so like when's she gonna pop out like

00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:49.019
how are we gonna like I was like I was giddy

00:28:49.019 --> 00:28:52.200
for how that was gonna pay off I do like so in

00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:55.440
the scene before they go to the hospital um when

00:28:55.440 --> 00:29:00.420
uh Katie like drags herself onto the knife i

00:29:00.420 --> 00:29:02.960
was like okay that's that's kind of cool scene

00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:05.220
and then anytime somebody crazy starts beating

00:29:05.220 --> 00:29:07.160
themselves up to look like somebody else beat

00:29:07.160 --> 00:29:09.519
them up i'm like all right yeah that header she

00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:11.700
took into the counter was a pretty serious one

00:29:11.700 --> 00:29:13.700
yeah that was probably the best acting of the

00:29:13.700 --> 00:29:17.339
film yeah i know it's what i wanted to do at

00:29:17.339 --> 00:29:20.700
the same time uh so i i emotionally connected

00:29:20.700 --> 00:29:23.500
with somebody trying to give themselves brain

00:29:23.500 --> 00:29:26.170
trauma Okay, one more thing that I did like.

00:29:26.210 --> 00:29:29.910
I did like that Katie covered up Angela in all

00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:32.490
the pictures. I like the amount of petty work

00:29:32.490 --> 00:29:36.730
that went into that. Just rearranged the entire

00:29:36.730 --> 00:29:38.910
fridge. Wait, what the fuck? Why am I not in

00:29:38.910 --> 00:29:41.230
any of these pictures anymore? Did anyone look

00:29:41.230 --> 00:29:46.069
up where the fit lady is from? The best friend?

00:29:46.950 --> 00:29:51.049
Linda? No, Natalie Ava Marie was the actress.

00:29:51.150 --> 00:29:53.289
I don't remember. She's a professional wrestler.

00:29:53.450 --> 00:29:56.349
She's WWE. That's all of her credits besides

00:29:56.349 --> 00:29:59.630
this and a late Bruce Willis film. It looks like.

00:30:00.190 --> 00:30:03.049
Oh, nice. Which one? I've watched a lot of late

00:30:03.049 --> 00:30:06.369
Bruce Willis films. Hard kill. They're all better

00:30:06.369 --> 00:30:11.369
than this. Hard kill. Hard kill. She plays Sasha

00:30:11.369 --> 00:30:17.859
Zendel. nice all right let's watch that and then

00:30:17.859 --> 00:30:20.319
talk about that for a minute uh no i don't want

00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:23.759
to watch any late late era late era bruce willis

00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:26.920
i thought that i mean not that we we got very

00:30:26.920 --> 00:30:30.319
many scenes with her but i i thought she stacked

00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:37.440
up as as an actor yeah yeah i i could have used

00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:39.440
a little like nick cage was just kind of in a

00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:41.119
supporting role i could have used more nick cage

00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.779
and also from the scene where she came home,

00:30:44.859 --> 00:30:48.059
like high as fuck on pills and made a big scene

00:30:48.059 --> 00:30:51.579
to the end of the movie, we had any opportunity

00:30:51.579 --> 00:30:55.220
for Nick cage to just do a total freak out, a

00:30:55.220 --> 00:30:57.559
classic Nick cage, just screaming at everybody

00:30:57.559 --> 00:31:00.500
going berserk. And we didn't get it. And that,

00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:03.819
that was kind of lame too. Yeah. He really should

00:31:03.819 --> 00:31:07.099
have popped off on those pills that way. Um,

00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:10.140
I love that. She, here's, here's a, the scene

00:31:10.140 --> 00:31:14.640
I loved, uh, When she got drugged up and like

00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:17.619
passed out for like two and a half hours, just

00:31:17.619 --> 00:31:21.779
slumped over on the wheel of her car running

00:31:21.779 --> 00:31:24.799
foot on the brake. Luckily. Yeah. And it's like,

00:31:24.819 --> 00:31:28.460
it's fucking Ohio. This is relaxed. Like not

00:31:28.460 --> 00:31:31.339
a single cop. Nobody like she's on the side of

00:31:31.339 --> 00:31:34.220
the road near a hospital. No one is just like.

00:31:35.859 --> 00:31:39.500
And nothing. That's so cool. I love Ohio. Ohio,

00:31:39.579 --> 00:31:42.950
you rock. Everybody lives in country club manor

00:31:42.950 --> 00:31:47.450
houses with cool ass like the like New Orleans

00:31:47.450 --> 00:31:51.750
style fire lamps out front. I don't think this

00:31:51.750 --> 00:31:56.730
was filmed in Ohio. That house was so echoey

00:31:56.730 --> 00:31:59.710
when they were in the like entryway. Every scene

00:31:59.710 --> 00:32:02.630
they recorded there, it's like everybody's like

00:32:02.630 --> 00:32:06.460
lines are echoing. Yeah, you guys. Put a lot

00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:08.240
of thought into this. What was the budget for

00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:11.359
this? Do you want to guess? Well, I know that

00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:13.779
Nick Cage presumably was paid five million in

00:32:13.779 --> 00:32:17.079
a briefcase. Probably, yes. He gets to keep the

00:32:17.079 --> 00:32:20.980
briefcase. He's moved up. I read that they only

00:32:20.980 --> 00:32:26.019
had a 15 day window to shoot. They certainly

00:32:26.019 --> 00:32:31.859
got done inside of that. I don't know. I mean.

00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:35.180
It shouldn't have even been 5 million. Yeah,

00:32:35.259 --> 00:32:39.420
it's more than 5 million. Whoa. 12 .8. Yeah.

00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:45.400
STV, I assume. I mean, STV and then also like

00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:47.599
limited theater release. I'm sure there was.

00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:51.420
50 screens in the country showing yeah it was

00:32:51.420 --> 00:32:54.259
shown in the high school theater where it was

00:32:54.259 --> 00:32:56.839
written it was just shown in the back of the

00:32:56.839 --> 00:33:00.420
manor house where they shot it wheeled out a

00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:03.319
fucking sheet and threw it up on a projector

00:33:03.319 --> 00:33:06.660
yeah it's it's pretty fucking bad this is one

00:33:06.660 --> 00:33:09.990
of those where i was like i'm glad this didn't

00:33:09.990 --> 00:33:11.970
end up in the bracket as like a lark because

00:33:11.970 --> 00:33:13.789
i remember watching the trailer for it and being

00:33:13.789 --> 00:33:16.710
like this looks maybe interesting you know it's

00:33:16.710 --> 00:33:21.369
not oh boy yeah yeah i mean it just it it felt

00:33:21.369 --> 00:33:27.849
like it was produced by like tnt yeah and and

00:33:27.849 --> 00:33:29.529
it's funny the the reason that i was kind of

00:33:29.529 --> 00:33:32.519
excited to have you on for this orc was that

00:33:32.519 --> 00:33:36.240
you well because you you are thanks man you are

00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:38.240
known to have watched like a lot of hallmarky

00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:41.960
type videos hell yeah you know those are pretty

00:33:41.960 --> 00:33:44.819
low budget this was this was not the rom -com

00:33:44.819 --> 00:33:49.460
i was looking for yeah it's not the rom -com

00:33:49.460 --> 00:33:51.740
any of us were looking for see now now we've

00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:53.660
got a good prequel though for it because we could

00:33:53.660 --> 00:33:56.039
have a rom -com prequel that would totally lead

00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:58.980
into this oh yeah i mean you could get two prequels

00:33:58.980 --> 00:34:02.289
out of it one for stealing maddie and then one

00:34:02.289 --> 00:34:07.089
for killing uh poor production value egg lady

00:34:07.089 --> 00:34:09.570
i mean plus we've got yeah i mean well that could

00:34:09.570 --> 00:34:11.150
be a psych thriller all on its own we have a

00:34:11.150 --> 00:34:13.510
whole universe we can work with it's true the

00:34:13.510 --> 00:34:16.969
inconceivable universe you got three ticking

00:34:16.969 --> 00:34:20.110
time bombs with those crazy babies that's right

00:34:20.110 --> 00:34:22.610
i work i work at a high school now i could probably

00:34:22.610 --> 00:34:28.460
get some kids to write scripts OK, if you could

00:34:28.460 --> 00:34:32.760
replace one movie from the bracket and slot this

00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:36.099
in in exactly that movie's place. I don't remember

00:34:36.099 --> 00:34:39.059
matchups left behind. You would swap out left

00:34:39.059 --> 00:34:41.000
behind. You'd rather watch this. Those are two

00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:43.780
movies that I think made me the most miserable.

00:34:43.880 --> 00:34:46.480
Like Doggy Dog. I hated I hated that movie so

00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:48.480
much. Another movie that she was in. Yeah. Both

00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:50.000
of those movies. Both of those movies she was

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.440
in. And I hated both of those movies. Doggy Dog.

00:34:52.599 --> 00:34:56.820
Like. repulsed me but in a way in a way that

00:34:56.820 --> 00:34:58.900
i was like there's maybe something worth watching

00:34:58.900 --> 00:35:01.760
again here part of me almost watched dog eat

00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:04.780
dog this morning just to get the taste of inconceivable

00:35:04.780 --> 00:35:07.820
out of my mouth and my eyes i tasted my eyes

00:35:07.820 --> 00:35:10.000
today but yeah left behind is i think the one

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:11.460
that i would pick because it's just like they're

00:35:11.460 --> 00:35:15.420
both horrible pieces of shit i would swap out

00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:18.760
the crudes to throw this into like the comedy

00:35:18.760 --> 00:35:23.400
or whatever the children's section yeah it involves

00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:25.679
kids yeah it's a kids movie whatever it's all

00:35:25.679 --> 00:35:29.840
about kids and boobs i would take out the runner

00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:31.860
just because i don't remember anything about

00:35:31.860 --> 00:35:34.780
the runner other than its name oh yeah oh that's

00:35:34.780 --> 00:35:36.460
one of the few ones that i actually didn't watch

00:35:36.460 --> 00:35:40.159
for this project yeah what was the runner it

00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:42.860
was like something like he was like running for

00:35:42.860 --> 00:35:45.719
congress or like yeah but he like it was after

00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:49.420
katrina and he was in a sex scandal was lawrence

00:35:49.420 --> 00:35:51.840
fishburne in it oh yeah it was the sex scandal

00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:55.380
one wow that movie is so forgettable no we have

00:35:55.380 --> 00:35:57.619
lawrence fishburne movies coming up oh okay yeah

00:35:57.619 --> 00:36:00.320
i mean they have very similar like cover art

00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:03.440
yeah they look like i'm gonna watch these movies

00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:06.320
do at this point yeah i mean it's all that like

00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:08.760
weird think tank naming convention for the movies

00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:13.300
that doesn't make any sense you know I just kept

00:36:13.300 --> 00:36:16.079
waiting for... Oh, wait, I get it. Inconceivable.

00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:19.659
Oh, because you can't conceive. Oh, it's actually

00:36:19.659 --> 00:36:26.179
clever. Oh, man, I didn't get it. Oh, God. Oh,

00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:28.500
this movie did one thing right. This movie fucking

00:36:28.500 --> 00:36:31.539
rules. I also just kept calling the movie imbecile

00:36:31.539 --> 00:36:35.679
in my head. I was waiting for the Princess Bride

00:36:35.679 --> 00:36:38.599
guy to show up. Yeah, exactly. You mean Wallace

00:36:38.599 --> 00:36:42.260
Shawn? Inconceivable. I love Wallace Shawn. Fucking

00:36:42.260 --> 00:36:45.019
rules. Then we could have had Andre the Giant

00:36:45.019 --> 00:36:47.460
just at the end. I don't think this movie was

00:36:47.460 --> 00:36:49.760
as good like you think it was. Andre the Giant's

00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:54.619
corpse? Yeah, just wheel his fucking skeleton

00:36:54.619 --> 00:36:58.420
out. Weekend at Bernie's, I'm in. It's basically

00:36:58.420 --> 00:37:01.079
just those big Home Depot skeletons, right? My

00:37:01.079 --> 00:37:04.679
fucking landlord made us take down our stupid

00:37:04.679 --> 00:37:07.500
12 -foot skeleton. A skeleton's not stupid. My

00:37:07.500 --> 00:37:09.699
landlord's stupid. Yeah, what the fuck? too many

00:37:09.699 --> 00:37:12.500
uh open units that he's got right there like

00:37:12.500 --> 00:37:15.920
the our neighbor is moving out and then like

00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:18.159
the person right next like across the driveway

00:37:18.159 --> 00:37:22.440
from them empty so he's like gonna have to take

00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:26.179
that down it's like you fuck that tool the second

00:37:26.179 --> 00:37:29.119
everything all those units are full put it back

00:37:29.119 --> 00:37:31.539
oh it's going right back up it's waiting in the

00:37:31.539 --> 00:37:33.760
garage there's a six foot tall spider at the

00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:37.369
end of that driveway Yeah, your skeleton is the

00:37:37.369 --> 00:37:40.289
least thing to be concerned about. Yeah, that's

00:37:40.289 --> 00:37:43.929
true. Well, let's see. Or do you have any any

00:37:43.929 --> 00:37:47.510
other thoughts on this movie? Or other movies

00:37:47.510 --> 00:37:54.289
that are good? I mean, I wouldn't watch it again.

00:37:55.329 --> 00:38:00.789
I hope to forget this movie. I thought that of

00:38:00.789 --> 00:38:03.969
all the Nick Cage movies that I got to watch.

00:38:04.650 --> 00:38:07.570
over the past how many years this has been going

00:38:07.570 --> 00:38:11.469
for three four years four years i thought captain

00:38:11.469 --> 00:38:13.690
corelli's mandolin was the one that i was like

00:38:13.690 --> 00:38:16.389
this is the most pointless it's another fascist

00:38:16.389 --> 00:38:18.889
sympathizer there's nothing about this movie

00:38:18.889 --> 00:38:23.389
that needed to be put onto a screen for people

00:38:23.389 --> 00:38:28.010
to watch but this inconceivable takes that and

00:38:28.010 --> 00:38:31.949
goes so far with it i mean it just there's nothing

00:38:31.949 --> 00:38:34.400
about this movie that was redeemable There's

00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:37.300
really nothing good to say about it. I think

00:38:37.300 --> 00:38:41.059
it's not even so bad that you can be like, man,

00:38:41.179 --> 00:38:44.659
it's kind of funny because it took itself pretty

00:38:44.659 --> 00:38:48.579
seriously. It's like they tried. They tried for

00:38:48.579 --> 00:38:52.219
this. Oh, yeah. It is aggressively bad. Oh, and

00:38:52.219 --> 00:38:54.039
even like the music is just that sort of like

00:38:54.039 --> 00:38:57.679
ambient nothing finger picking guitar. It sucks.

00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:00.659
The whole thing sucks. It sounds like the way

00:39:00.659 --> 00:39:05.590
the director looks. only good at it yeah it's

00:39:05.590 --> 00:39:08.929
like oh no that's not quite right like i i i

00:39:08.929 --> 00:39:12.050
mean this sounds so judgmental um but like not

00:39:12.050 --> 00:39:15.050
watching a bad watching a bad movie you know

00:39:15.050 --> 00:39:16.809
it can be bad that it's funny it can be bad like

00:39:16.809 --> 00:39:18.309
that you're just sort of angry that it ever got

00:39:18.309 --> 00:39:20.510
made and this was boring and you're just sort

00:39:20.510 --> 00:39:22.889
of like everybody involved with this was clearly

00:39:22.889 --> 00:39:26.369
just Because there should have been somebody

00:39:26.369 --> 00:39:28.150
that was like, guys, this just doesn't work.

00:39:28.230 --> 00:39:30.750
This sucks. This is like this is really we need

00:39:30.750 --> 00:39:33.730
to stop and do something else. Like just burn

00:39:33.730 --> 00:39:35.829
the script. Let's we have Nick Cage here. Let

00:39:35.829 --> 00:39:38.610
him shout a little bit. There was nothing good

00:39:38.610 --> 00:39:41.730
to say about this movie. It just it was it's

00:39:41.730 --> 00:39:44.329
just a waste of time. Yeah, it commits the sin

00:39:44.329 --> 00:39:45.710
that you always talk about, Sean, where it's

00:39:45.710 --> 00:39:48.269
just like it's not good enough to be anything

00:39:48.269 --> 00:39:50.969
and it's not bad enough to be fun to watch. You

00:39:50.969 --> 00:39:55.869
know, exactly. It's just a. sad wet fart oh man

00:39:55.869 --> 00:39:58.949
oh we didn't even talk about like brian's mom

00:39:58.949 --> 00:40:01.730
this whole time right faye dunaway yeah faye

00:40:01.730 --> 00:40:05.449
dunaway with her crazy ass like clearly not brian's

00:40:05.449 --> 00:40:08.309
mom i mean a free weekend like what was going

00:40:08.309 --> 00:40:11.050
on i don't know dude like that's the thing is

00:40:11.050 --> 00:40:12.869
like we've sort of asked this question before

00:40:12.869 --> 00:40:14.789
like why do some people end up in these movies

00:40:14.789 --> 00:40:16.449
like gina gershon i can kind of understand it's

00:40:16.449 --> 00:40:19.389
like nikki whalen you know bad actor small career

00:40:19.389 --> 00:40:22.940
whatever but like Faye Dunaway is a pretty classic

00:40:22.940 --> 00:40:26.480
actor and Nick Cage is a good actor. But like

00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:29.980
what made him do this? I think it's money, money

00:40:29.980 --> 00:40:32.280
and timing. It's like it's in a location where

00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:35.719
they're not upset about being for X amount of

00:40:35.719 --> 00:40:40.079
time. And 15 days, apparently. I mean, you get

00:40:40.079 --> 00:40:42.650
paid a couple million. Yeah, it feels like. It

00:40:42.650 --> 00:40:45.530
was a stopover on a flight to Louisiana for him.

00:40:45.570 --> 00:40:48.929
Yeah. Just heading down for Mardi Gras. He's

00:40:48.929 --> 00:40:51.809
like, I'll pop in for a weekend, crank out all

00:40:51.809 --> 00:40:55.070
these shots. ABC, always be cranking. That works

00:40:55.070 --> 00:40:59.150
better than ABJ. Yeah, you're right. All right.

00:40:59.610 --> 00:41:34.010
Sean, 60 seconds. Yep. Donnie, flow runner. An

00:41:34.010 --> 00:41:35.869
egg donor seeks out and kills the recipients

00:41:35.869 --> 00:41:37.710
of her eggs who don't live up to her standards.

00:41:37.929 --> 00:41:40.250
Katie cozies up to the Morgans, two doctors who

00:41:40.250 --> 00:41:42.369
need a surrogate. Katie, who continues to act

00:41:42.369 --> 00:41:43.929
like a villain, has her motives questioned at

00:41:43.929 --> 00:41:46.369
every turn until the plot requires everyone ignore

00:41:46.369 --> 00:41:48.889
protagonist Angela's concerns. But it's okay,

00:41:48.929 --> 00:41:50.889
because she's a woman and used to have a pill

00:41:50.889 --> 00:41:54.150
problem. This film comes with both twist and

00:41:54.150 --> 00:41:57.130
turn by showing out of context scenes or half

00:41:57.130 --> 00:41:59.550
flashbacks that make Katie look like a victim

00:41:59.550 --> 00:42:01.690
rather than a killer. Ultimately, what gives

00:42:01.690 --> 00:42:04.329
Katie away is her signature calling card, a months

00:42:04.329 --> 00:42:06.929
long mural that she paints in the homes and offices

00:42:06.929 --> 00:42:09.469
of her victims. All in all, a rather conceivably

00:42:09.469 --> 00:42:11.909
dull affair whose only high point is the surreal

00:42:11.909 --> 00:42:14.730
twist ending after the film once again lies to

00:42:14.730 --> 00:42:17.190
the viewer for a cheap emotional gut punch. Katie's

00:42:17.190 --> 00:42:19.989
orchestration of Angela's murder, which is immediately.

00:42:20.670 --> 00:42:23.250
reversed as angela is alive and not only gets

00:42:23.250 --> 00:42:25.349
her son but katie's daughter as katie is hauled

00:42:25.349 --> 00:42:27.889
off to the loony bin and we'll put four seconds

00:42:27.889 --> 00:42:30.210
of fart noises at the end to fill that last bit

00:42:30.210 --> 00:42:33.570
i love it just okay so if you if you gave me

00:42:33.570 --> 00:42:35.929
that and asked can you make a movie out of this

00:42:35.929 --> 00:42:40.590
i'd be like hell yeah right but they didn't oh

00:42:40.590 --> 00:42:43.570
they did not so but the other okay so the other

00:42:43.570 --> 00:42:46.809
thing about this we haven't talked about that

00:42:46.809 --> 00:42:50.679
woman all these dead women have That painting

00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:53.280
in their home or office. And no one said bunk.

00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:56.280
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big ass like fucking calling

00:42:56.280 --> 00:42:59.380
card in every one of these crime scenes. Also,

00:42:59.380 --> 00:43:01.659
that lady does not understand how to draw a giraffe.

00:43:02.079 --> 00:43:05.099
Everything about the paintings look, you know,

00:43:05.099 --> 00:43:07.840
fine for a children's room mural. Sure. And then

00:43:07.840 --> 00:43:11.039
a giraffe. The shittiest, like really crap. So

00:43:11.039 --> 00:43:14.449
did she do the same mural? twice did i hate it

00:43:14.449 --> 00:43:19.269
was it was a night scene in one of them uh in

00:43:19.269 --> 00:43:25.469
in maddie's room and then uh in daytime and then

00:43:25.469 --> 00:43:28.409
like no animals in the first one in the egg donor

00:43:28.409 --> 00:43:33.809
one yeah oh man okay don't watch this movie anybody

00:43:33.809 --> 00:43:40.880
ever So next up, we've got a movie called 2 -1

00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:43.239
-1, which I'm assuming is some sort of like cop

00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:46.780
code, but I didn't bother looking it up. And

00:43:46.780 --> 00:43:49.940
I did read one review on IMDb from Craig Newman,

00:43:50.059 --> 00:43:58.239
1973. He said, you like wood? Great. Boy, I'm

00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:02.000
in already. This is terrific. I love wood. Great.

00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:03.980
Just check out the acting in this abomination.

00:44:05.420 --> 00:44:07.820
A shame is the camera work is actually OK, but

00:44:07.820 --> 00:44:09.800
the bloody acting, if you can call it that, is

00:44:09.800 --> 00:44:14.260
so stilted and forced, it's untrue. Nice. I already

00:44:14.260 --> 00:44:16.820
hate his review of it because he said bloody.

00:44:17.019 --> 00:44:21.579
Yeah, fair enough. Sorry, British people. Invalid.

00:44:22.989 --> 00:44:25.449
all right yeah so anyway thanks for listening

00:44:25.449 --> 00:44:28.690
to this one um we'll be back in two weeks and

00:44:28.690 --> 00:44:30.489
uh if you are interested in supporting us on

00:44:30.489 --> 00:44:33.630
patreon we are there at cage match pod and thank

00:44:33.630 --> 00:44:35.769
you to our sparkle buddies josh josie matt adam

00:44:35.769 --> 00:44:39.369
ah uh bill stewart and willow and to our cage

00:44:39.369 --> 00:44:43.010
dancers john freeman nathan and cameron and to

00:44:43.010 --> 00:44:47.170
bill panks for our intro music um thank you we

00:44:47.170 --> 00:44:50.340
watched it so you don't have to Yeah, we just

00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:53.800
make a new pot or rename this podcast. Fucking

00:44:53.800 --> 00:44:56.960
listen, don't watch. Listen, don't watch. It's

00:44:56.960 --> 00:45:10.699
fine. Yeah. Is Nick just taking a huge duker?

00:45:11.460 --> 00:45:14.639
I don't know. It wouldn't be the first time at

00:45:14.639 --> 00:45:17.719
my house, but maybe it is. I don't know. No,

00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:21.409
it's definitely not. yeah it can't be you pooped

00:45:21.409 --> 00:45:23.769
at my house before right he's probably probably

00:45:23.769 --> 00:45:27.690
vaping back there these youths love to vape