WEBVTT 00:00:01.870 --> 00:00:23.050 Oh, God. Oh, my God. You play a play a play thing? 00:00:23.170 --> 00:00:26.250 I do. I play viola. Oh, neat. You play a play 00:00:26.250 --> 00:00:28.530 thing? Yeah, you play a play thing? Yeah. That's 00:00:28.530 --> 00:00:31.859 pretty cool. I don't play a plaything. No. I've 00:00:31.859 --> 00:00:34.659 got no talents for playing. I only work a plaything. 00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:36.539 Not even piano or guitar? Talking about Crank 00:00:36.539 --> 00:00:39.659 and Hog. Talking about Crank and Hog. Yeah. I 00:00:39.659 --> 00:00:43.240 work a plaything. I'm going to also renege. Yeah. 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:45.960 Absolutely. You've got to have a Nazi punk skill. 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:47.740 It looks so good. It looks so good, doesn't it? 00:00:47.740 --> 00:00:51.250 It's crisp, yeah. Yeah. I'm a little sad that 00:00:51.250 --> 00:00:53.509 we weren't able to celebrate your birthday with 00:00:53.509 --> 00:00:55.929 fried chicken and sparkling wine. I know. There 00:00:55.929 --> 00:00:57.170 was a part of me that... That's Nick Cage's favorite 00:00:57.170 --> 00:01:00.210 meal. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's his birthday 00:01:00.210 --> 00:01:03.770 meal, right? Birthday for Christmas. What was 00:01:03.770 --> 00:01:06.609 it? For him, champagne. But for us, sparkling 00:01:06.609 --> 00:01:09.670 wine. How far does he go on the champagne? Does 00:01:09.670 --> 00:01:11.569 he get something fancy? I mean... I don't know. 00:01:11.650 --> 00:01:13.370 It's from the Champagne region of France. The 00:01:13.370 --> 00:01:16.709 whole story about it is like his dad would... 00:01:17.290 --> 00:01:20.129 get that like that was like his dad's celebratory 00:01:20.129 --> 00:01:23.290 thing it was like kfc sparkling wine it's funny 00:01:23.290 --> 00:01:26.569 the pairing of like fancy beverage with like 00:01:26.569 --> 00:01:29.810 not fancy chicken i love it so yeah unfortunately 00:01:29.810 --> 00:01:32.590 i was uh sick on my birthday we were gonna watch 00:01:32.590 --> 00:01:35.950 this and eat fried chicken and drink drink some 00:01:35.950 --> 00:01:38.629 prosecco too bad we all missed out yeah yeah 00:01:38.629 --> 00:01:42.189 and then we all got to enjoy this solo yeah unfortunately 00:01:42.189 --> 00:01:45.090 sean you watch this hot and fresh right just 00:01:45.090 --> 00:01:47.959 recently i watched this this morning ah there 00:01:47.959 --> 00:01:53.620 you go yeah sean king uh what hold on wait there's 00:01:53.620 --> 00:01:58.219 no like gender neutral gesture of procrastination 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:00.859 Yeah, I guess that's right. King of procrastination, 00:02:00.939 --> 00:02:02.700 queen of procrastination. Both would be incorrect. 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:05.500 So I kind of like Jester. Yeah, you're the Jester. 00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:08.819 You're the ass of procrastination. Sean, you 00:02:08.819 --> 00:02:12.379 put the ass in procrastinate. In my defense. 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:16.659 Is there a defense for you? I had other shit 00:02:16.659 --> 00:02:21.419 to do. Good defense. To be fair, I did not get 00:02:21.419 --> 00:02:23.500 to it till yesterday either. I was going to look 00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:26.000 up, but then forgot because I really didn't care. 00:02:27.020 --> 00:02:29.419 if this was kind of around the same time as that 00:02:29.419 --> 00:02:33.939 weird uh other set in the quote -unquote Far 00:02:33.939 --> 00:02:38.599 East film starring Jackie Chan. It is. It came 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:40.460 out the exact same time. Are we talking about 00:02:40.460 --> 00:02:42.680 Rush Hour? You're talking about Dragon Blade. 00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.280 Oh, Dragon Blade. Which is a movie I've always 00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:50.000 said I've wanted to see and have never put any 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:52.580 effort into actually trying to see. I legitimately 00:02:52.580 --> 00:02:54.800 was contemplating watching that and then talking 00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:56.900 mostly about that movie instead of this movie, 00:02:57.060 --> 00:02:59.259 but I didn't get around to watching it. Yeah, 00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:01.900 so it's Jackie Chan, John Cusack, and Adrian 00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:06.979 Brody. was that wild yeah more white savior shit 00:03:06.979 --> 00:03:09.139 yeah well I did so I did I did look up a bit 00:03:09.139 --> 00:03:11.219 this is like an era where like China was trying 00:03:11.219 --> 00:03:13.240 to get into the film industry a bunch so they 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:15.639 just were churning out these they were like hiring 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:19.080 a bunch of white actors to show up in these movies 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:22.699 and just try to boost their their film uh industry 00:03:22.699 --> 00:03:24.860 yeah we gotta get that american market it's kind 00:03:24.860 --> 00:03:26.919 of the equivalent of like hiring good voice actor 00:03:26.919 --> 00:03:29.199 or sorry famous voice actors for kids animated 00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:31.500 films it's oh but i think all these movies made 00:03:31.500 --> 00:03:34.360 like a ton of money in china i don't think this 00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:36.379 movie made any money i don't think so i don't 00:03:36.379 --> 00:03:39.379 know i didn't know i didn't check that but the 00:03:39.379 --> 00:03:42.620 box office it says it was 5 .1 million you know 00:03:42.620 --> 00:03:46.280 what it's gonna do budget 25 million that's not 00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:49.919 good It's going to do so much better than Melania, 00:03:49.960 --> 00:03:55.599 though. Oh, my God. With their, what, $75 million 00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:59.819 budget and $28 million went straight to her for 00:03:59.819 --> 00:04:02.780 her life rights. Yeah, it's nice timing for Brett 00:04:02.780 --> 00:04:05.379 Ratner's name to show up in the Epstein files, 00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:08.699 too. Oh, of course, yeah. For our listeners at 00:04:08.699 --> 00:04:11.199 home, this week we are discussing Outcast with 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:14.219 Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage. Yeah, not 00:04:14.219 --> 00:04:16.680 Dragonblade. Not Dragonblade. Unfortunately. 00:04:16.779 --> 00:04:19.319 Zero Nicolas Cage. Also, welcome back to Cage 00:04:19.319 --> 00:04:20.920 Match, colon, a roundabout way of meeting Nicolas 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:24.120 Cage. I'm Sean, here with my co -host. I'm Nick. 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:27.600 And our producer. Nick. Peter, hello. This is 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:29.639 going to be a great recording. And our special 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:33.600 guest, Kyle. That's Kyle's voice. Yes, that's 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:36.060 me. Thanks for being here. Oh, yeah. Thanks for 00:04:36.060 --> 00:04:39.600 inviting me. I'm a big fan of Nicolas Cage. The 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:43.699 au revoir of... Nicholas Cage. I'm sorry that 00:04:43.699 --> 00:04:47.920 we only got you in for this. Yeah, I know exactly. 00:04:48.060 --> 00:04:50.240 All the good movies left. You came to the finale 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:52.339 of The Doubleheader, right? I did, yes. Yeah, 00:04:52.339 --> 00:04:55.000 that's awesome. What was it? It was Pig and Raising 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:57.720 Arizona. Both great films. What a terrific night. 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:01.300 What was your vote? I think I voted for Pig. 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:03.180 I'm pretty sure I voted for Pig. I thought it 00:05:03.180 --> 00:05:06.079 was a more... The human response. Interesting 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:07.800 movie. I think it's illegal for you to ask him 00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:12.040 that. Yeah, you can't ask who I voted for. God. 00:05:13.339 --> 00:05:16.040 Let me look at your voting rolls. Show me your 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:21.620 asshole. How many spokes you got? No. Starting 00:05:21.620 --> 00:05:26.519 strong. Oh, my God. In this interview clip, that's 00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:30.370 kind of... constantly running on imdb right now 00:05:30.370 --> 00:05:32.449 uh nicholas cage has a ponytail and it's amazing 00:05:32.449 --> 00:05:35.189 oh yeah let's talk about his hair for a second 00:05:35.189 --> 00:05:38.350 because it's bad oh man it's got is it a wig 00:05:38.350 --> 00:05:40.970 it's gotta be of course it's a wig you know like 00:05:40.970 --> 00:05:43.889 they tried to put on like some sort of ancient 00:05:43.889 --> 00:05:47.670 ancient chinese haircut yeah on his head yeah 00:05:47.670 --> 00:05:51.029 he went from full bird hair to like having a 00:05:51.029 --> 00:05:54.589 like dreadlock weave going Now, which which hair 00:05:54.589 --> 00:05:56.930 did you like better? Did you like his Crusades 00:05:56.930 --> 00:05:59.930 hair or his Far East hair? Far East for sure. 00:05:59.949 --> 00:06:02.490 Oh, yeah. The little top knot. Yes. Amongst all 00:06:02.490 --> 00:06:05.970 of it. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. You got to blend 00:06:05.970 --> 00:06:09.009 in, you know, blend in wisdom. His name is White 00:06:09.009 --> 00:06:13.029 Ghost. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. This this movie commits 00:06:13.029 --> 00:06:17.730 my biggest sin in any movie ever with the whole 00:06:17.730 --> 00:06:20.610 like. character's hair never changing over the 00:06:20.610 --> 00:06:22.610 course of many years because Hayden Christensen's 00:06:22.610 --> 00:06:24.209 character has had that hair since he was seven. 00:06:24.589 --> 00:06:27.829 To be fair, that hair rocks. Yeah, that's a tight 00:06:27.829 --> 00:06:31.529 ass haircut. If you're a Nazi. No, that's not 00:06:31.529 --> 00:06:34.709 Nazi hair. Just look at Greg Bovino or whatever 00:06:34.709 --> 00:06:37.350 his name is. That's Nazi hair. That hair is great 00:06:37.350 --> 00:06:38.870 if you're Greg Bovino is what I was about to 00:06:38.870 --> 00:06:42.589 say. No, this is cool. Bovino would never have 00:06:42.589 --> 00:06:45.889 a back part of his hair. Yeah, this is just wide 00:06:45.889 --> 00:06:50.279 faux hawk. Yeah. Yeah. Right in my wheelhouse. 00:06:50.300 --> 00:06:53.240 It's Viking hair. He's got Viking hair. I will 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:55.620 say I forgot I was watching Hayden Christensen 00:06:55.620 --> 00:06:58.680 in this film because it wasn't he wasn't awful. 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:02.500 Oh, I was going to say I was acutely aware that 00:07:02.500 --> 00:07:04.879 I was still watching Hayden Christensen because 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:08.579 he was awful. Yeah, I thought he was extra awful. 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:11.540 Just Anakin the whole time. The worst parts of 00:07:11.540 --> 00:07:15.139 late stage Anakin just like looking. I wish that 00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:17.079 he had given the weird like sand speech when 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:20.000 he was professing his love to that lady. You're 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:23.699 not dry and coarse like sand. I got to say, he 00:07:23.699 --> 00:07:25.839 doesn't talk a lot in this film and I'm OK with 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:28.819 that. Oh, man, I just made Pete watch the the 00:07:28.819 --> 00:07:32.199 blowjob girl video. Like, how dry do you like 00:07:32.199 --> 00:07:36.370 it? Like sandpaper. Yeah. It's like my mouth 00:07:36.370 --> 00:07:40.709 is full of sand. You've never seen it before. 00:07:41.029 --> 00:07:42.990 I don't know that I've seen that. So we're going 00:07:42.990 --> 00:07:45.069 to watch that right after that. It's an old, 00:07:45.089 --> 00:07:47.209 isn't it called humor? Yeah. Old college humor 00:07:47.209 --> 00:07:48.930 video. Oh, maybe I haven't seen this. It's really 00:07:48.930 --> 00:07:52.029 good. It's Aaron from The Office. Yeah. Kimmy 00:07:52.029 --> 00:07:54.170 Schmidt. Yeah. The Kimmy Schmidt girl. Weird 00:07:54.170 --> 00:07:57.709 fun fact about my younger years. I dated her 00:07:57.709 --> 00:08:00.759 cousin. Nice. Yeah. How dry does she like it? 00:08:01.220 --> 00:08:05.639 Very dry. Yeah. I met her one time when I was 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:07.540 she was like a couple of years older than I am. 00:08:07.620 --> 00:08:10.660 So I was 16 and she was 19 or something like 00:08:10.660 --> 00:08:14.279 that. Yeah. So my first girlfriend, second girlfriend 00:08:14.279 --> 00:08:17.759 in high school was a part of like weird debutante 00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:21.100 bullshit. Oh, shit. Yeah. Weird. Kansas City 00:08:21.100 --> 00:08:23.660 is a weird place, man. Yeah. Never been. I can 00:08:23.660 --> 00:08:26.519 say I've never been to a debutante ball. Not 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:29.170 yet. Yeah, that's true. Not yet. That's how you're 00:08:29.170 --> 00:08:32.350 going to find that bride. Can we get Kyle to 00:08:32.350 --> 00:08:34.990 introduce himself? Oh, yeah. Who the fuck are 00:08:34.990 --> 00:08:37.789 you? Why the fuck are you here? My name's Kyle. 00:08:38.149 --> 00:08:41.169 I know Peter through his wife, playing a lot 00:08:41.169 --> 00:08:43.710 of music together, and we've hung out a bunch. 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:47.529 I went to the last, the doubleheader thing. That's 00:08:47.529 --> 00:08:51.190 honestly how the best people know Peter. Everyone 00:08:51.190 --> 00:08:55.970 else is just shitbags like Sean and I. I'm an 00:08:55.970 --> 00:08:59.429 accountant for a production company down in Hollywood. 00:08:59.669 --> 00:09:01.629 They make movie trailers. That's fucking awesome. 00:09:01.830 --> 00:09:06.190 Hell yeah. I mean, I don't really see the stuff. 00:09:06.309 --> 00:09:08.929 Yeah. I don't watch the numbers. I mean, I see 00:09:08.929 --> 00:09:11.870 the numbers, but I don't really see it. I see 00:09:11.870 --> 00:09:14.889 people complain at me. Do you ever watch a trailer 00:09:14.889 --> 00:09:17.809 and you're like, this costs that much? Yes. Are 00:09:17.809 --> 00:09:20.450 you kidding me? Yeah. Well, and I worked in marketing 00:09:20.450 --> 00:09:23.169 before, just like advertising for many years. 00:09:23.269 --> 00:09:26.210 So I've just seen so much. And now, even though 00:09:26.210 --> 00:09:29.889 I wasn't working in that space creatively, I've 00:09:29.889 --> 00:09:32.450 just seen so much good stuff and really, really 00:09:32.450 --> 00:09:36.570 bad, bad stuff. There's only the barest thread 00:09:36.570 --> 00:09:39.610 of connection in this one. I have a buddy who 00:09:39.610 --> 00:09:43.669 worked in the porn industry similarly -ish. He 00:09:43.669 --> 00:09:47.289 was the numbers guy? He did data entry. Was he 00:09:47.289 --> 00:09:50.929 the guy who drove the bang bus? No, he tracked 00:09:50.929 --> 00:09:55.590 STDs. oh that's a good job i mean that's an important 00:09:55.590 --> 00:09:58.509 job so he just did data entry on like when different 00:09:58.509 --> 00:10:01.649 actors and actresses got like stds and treatments 00:10:01.649 --> 00:10:04.429 and things like that and but like through his 00:10:04.429 --> 00:10:07.110 work he was like yeah i get i can just like take 00:10:07.110 --> 00:10:11.899 as much porn home as i want and it's it's kind 00:10:11.899 --> 00:10:14.080 of i don't know i think it's run its course but 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:15.799 then when i was visiting his place i was like 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:17.299 oh you got one of those couches it's got a little 00:10:17.299 --> 00:10:19.759 like armrest oh there's a secret handle oh no 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:22.399 there's just tissues and lotion i found your 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:26.399 spank spank tank or whatever uh it was just in 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:28.360 his living room yeah well he lived by himself 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:31.100 oh so i mean still in his living room excuse 00:10:31.100 --> 00:10:34.320 yeah come on you gotta tuck it away a little 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:36.879 better yeah i mean it wasn't a hidden compartment 00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:40.179 in the couch i'm just nosy so you did go looking 00:10:40.179 --> 00:10:42.539 for it yeah i was like oh you're in the porn 00:10:42.539 --> 00:10:47.379 industry yeah where's the good stuff So sorry, 00:10:47.460 --> 00:10:49.179 I didn't mean to interrupt your story for my 00:10:49.179 --> 00:10:53.179 terrible story. Okay, so the outline of this 00:10:53.179 --> 00:10:56.500 movie, Outcast, I don't even remember the characters' 00:10:56.600 --> 00:11:01.100 names. Jacob is Hayden Christensen. How often 00:11:01.100 --> 00:11:03.980 do they say them? They say Jacob quite a few 00:11:03.980 --> 00:11:07.320 times. I think he says Galane once to Nick Cage. 00:11:07.460 --> 00:11:10.019 He says it twice. He does say it when he meets 00:11:10.019 --> 00:11:13.100 him. I do remember that part. I never remembered 00:11:13.100 --> 00:11:15.600 either of their names. And then, like, that's 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:17.519 probably pretty unimportant to the plot of the 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:20.159 story. White Ghost and White Monkey. Yeah, that's 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:23.000 what I called them. Right. And then there's Prince 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:27.669 Zhao and Princess Leon. And then... prince shing 00:11:27.669 --> 00:11:31.610 was the dick bag which i assumed she'd have some 00:11:31.610 --> 00:11:34.149 type of combat capabilities considering the king 00:11:34.149 --> 00:11:36.570 was all like i entrust you to protect your brother 00:11:36.570 --> 00:11:39.250 yeah and then she immediately gets a white guy 00:11:39.250 --> 00:11:42.330 to do her fighting for her yeah well she protected 00:11:42.330 --> 00:11:45.730 him through common sense because he was probably 00:11:45.730 --> 00:11:48.190 not very bright he seemed a little a little dim 00:11:48.190 --> 00:11:50.309 he always wanted to jump into the action that 00:11:50.309 --> 00:11:51.929 wasn't that wasn't good for him he's like he's 00:11:51.929 --> 00:11:56.309 brave yeah well every 12 year old's brave He 00:11:56.309 --> 00:11:58.970 also got poisoned in that in that in the from 00:11:58.970 --> 00:12:01.669 that one caravan lady. Oh, yeah. It's just like, 00:12:01.669 --> 00:12:05.009 what are you drinking tea from this random lady 00:12:05.009 --> 00:12:08.230 you just met? Jeez. Yes. It's not going to be 00:12:08.230 --> 00:12:10.629 great. Had a pretty strong opium addiction. Yeah. 00:12:10.669 --> 00:12:14.049 OK, so which is cool. Hayden Christensen and 00:12:14.049 --> 00:12:17.429 Nicolas Cage are crusaders. I think that it opened 00:12:17.429 --> 00:12:19.690 the film opens with them crusading somewhere 00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:22.970 in the Middle East, basically. And Hayden Christensen 00:12:22.970 --> 00:12:26.500 is like killing a bunch of people. And Nicolas 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:30.320 Cage is pissed. And he leaves. He wants to hang 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:32.639 it up. He wants to hang it up. He's pissed. I 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:37.039 was pretty impressed. I don't know. I was kind 00:12:37.039 --> 00:12:39.059 of weirded out that he just kept following Hayden 00:12:39.059 --> 00:12:40.960 Christensen. It's like, why are we killing people? 00:12:41.100 --> 00:12:42.759 He's like, I'm just going to walk along behind 00:12:42.759 --> 00:12:45.039 you and watch you kill people and silently judge. 00:12:45.159 --> 00:12:47.419 It's like, what is even your relationship at 00:12:47.419 --> 00:12:49.379 this point? It's like, oh, yeah, I figured at 00:12:49.379 --> 00:12:51.460 the beginning I did write this note that it seems 00:12:51.460 --> 00:12:54.820 like he's some kind of mentor. Or maybe a teacher 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:57.419 or something. I don't know. And that's all the 00:12:57.419 --> 00:12:59.899 backstory you're going to get. Yeah, pretty much. 00:13:00.100 --> 00:13:03.639 Kind of. Then the scene switches to three years 00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:06.019 later in the Far East. I always love that when 00:13:06.019 --> 00:13:09.529 they describe. anywhere in east asia it's the 00:13:09.529 --> 00:13:14.610 far east exactly it's great the orient i'm going 00:13:14.610 --> 00:13:18.289 to africa yeah i wish they would have just said 00:13:18.289 --> 00:13:22.429 that the orient we've watched a couple of there's 00:13:22.429 --> 00:13:24.549 we've watched two movies where nicholas cage 00:13:24.549 --> 00:13:28.309 is a crusader now yeah two crusader uh season 00:13:28.309 --> 00:13:30.230 of the witch yeah season of the witch but that 00:13:30.230 --> 00:13:32.929 had ron perlman i was hoping for another mushroom 00:13:32.929 --> 00:13:36.789 another toad helmet They go to the Far East. 00:13:36.889 --> 00:13:39.809 And then I at this point, I didn't realize you 00:13:39.809 --> 00:13:42.370 wouldn't see Nicolas Cage again for like an hour. 00:13:42.429 --> 00:13:46.870 It's a long time. It's like a full hour. And 00:13:46.870 --> 00:13:49.529 I was like, I thought this and I kind of checked 00:13:49.529 --> 00:13:51.649 out. I had to watch this movie twice because 00:13:51.649 --> 00:13:53.690 I kind of checked out while he was not on the 00:13:53.690 --> 00:13:56.610 screen. Yeah. You joined the podcast for the 00:13:56.610 --> 00:13:59.149 weird parts of Nick Cage's career. Yeah. Yeah. 00:13:59.169 --> 00:14:01.909 But oh, but I bet he got paid a great amount 00:14:01.909 --> 00:14:04.159 of money for this movie. to not be in it for 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:07.100 that long. At least $5 million. At least $5 million. 00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:09.059 Right, exactly. Thank you, Sean. I would totally 00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:14.759 do. Yeah. They show this old emperor, and he's 00:14:14.759 --> 00:14:18.139 dying, apparently, from something. He didn't 00:14:18.139 --> 00:14:19.720 look like he was dying. Yeah, he actually looked 00:14:19.720 --> 00:14:23.860 pretty good. Pretty slow death. Yeah. He chooses 00:14:23.860 --> 00:14:26.159 his younger son, though, who's like this timid 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:31.730 kind of emotional boy. Book boy. uh as the emperor 00:14:31.730 --> 00:14:34.490 uh which is gonna piss off his older son who's 00:14:34.490 --> 00:14:36.850 like this military commander and a dick and a 00:14:36.850 --> 00:14:41.110 dick um he comes uh he gets a report that his 00:14:41.110 --> 00:14:44.110 his older son is coming and he sends off his 00:14:44.110 --> 00:14:48.769 uh daughter and the younger son away with this 00:14:49.509 --> 00:14:52.129 seal i guess it's just yeah the royal seal yeah 00:14:52.129 --> 00:14:54.090 it's like you're the emperor now if you have 00:14:54.090 --> 00:14:56.169 this thing could you think that could be like 00:14:56.169 --> 00:14:59.230 anybody anybody has that skill because look i'm 00:14:59.230 --> 00:15:02.330 a peasant i'm now the emperor look at this tight 00:15:02.330 --> 00:15:04.389 -ass seal i guess it's kind of like touching 00:15:04.389 --> 00:15:07.250 tongues that makes it official it's true they 00:15:07.250 --> 00:15:10.970 go they they escape and uh the older son comes 00:15:10.970 --> 00:15:16.720 in and he murders the dad right I did make this 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:20.039 note. As they escape, there's this unnamed badass 00:15:20.039 --> 00:15:23.860 monk. Monk was tight. That was awesome. He kicked 00:15:23.860 --> 00:15:25.600 the shit out of them. And I love that he didn't 00:15:25.600 --> 00:15:27.200 have a weapon. He didn't kill any of them. That's 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:29.620 true. He just beat the shit out of them. He should 00:15:29.620 --> 00:15:31.340 have just sent the monk with him. Yeah, and then 00:15:31.340 --> 00:15:34.159 he just got overwhelmed, which is kind of sad. 00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:36.120 I kind of wish there was just more him. Yeah, 00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:39.460 that would be cool. Let's see. They make it to 00:15:39.460 --> 00:15:43.600 a tavern inn of some sort where you first meet... 00:15:44.429 --> 00:15:47.190 hayden christianson character jacob yeah really 00:15:47.190 --> 00:15:50.429 dumb hat uh at least it wasn't one of the like 00:15:50.429 --> 00:15:54.870 uh the rice farmer hat yeah no that would have 00:15:54.870 --> 00:15:56.190 been that would have been yeah it's definitely 00:15:56.190 --> 00:16:00.409 a western hat yeah uh but he's he's in there 00:16:00.409 --> 00:16:03.970 doing opium getting high on opium trying to deal 00:16:03.970 --> 00:16:07.590 with his ptsd you know men will do anything but 00:16:07.590 --> 00:16:09.769 go to therapy you know they'll go to the far 00:16:09.769 --> 00:16:11.889 east just go to the far east get some opium baby 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:15.600 This movie taught me that people used to chew 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:17.139 opium. You didn't have to smoke it. You could 00:16:17.139 --> 00:16:20.720 just chew it. Oh. That's what he was doing. He 00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:22.460 was just like breaking off chunks and chewing 00:16:22.460 --> 00:16:24.360 it. It looked kind of like black tar heroin. 00:16:24.539 --> 00:16:28.100 Yeah. Yeah. It's usually like opium, like resin. 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.700 Oh. I did some reading. I was more interested 00:16:31.700 --> 00:16:34.139 in how they were getting high in this movie. 00:16:34.259 --> 00:16:37.320 Yeah. Fair enough. So he goes to the tavern. 00:16:37.940 --> 00:16:42.860 The princess and the younger boy emperor. show 00:16:42.860 --> 00:16:47.059 up to the tavern and they try to enlist him to 00:16:47.059 --> 00:16:51.399 rescue immediately the fucking prince gets captured 00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:54.159 because he's a dipshit yeah he's probably the 00:16:54.159 --> 00:16:57.559 most known person in the in the country did they 00:16:57.559 --> 00:17:00.259 not think about costuming well and i i had a 00:17:00.259 --> 00:17:02.279 serious question at this point why not change 00:17:02.279 --> 00:17:05.650 your your haircut yeah or your clothes or your 00:17:05.650 --> 00:17:08.349 clothes any type of like face cover when they're 00:17:08.349 --> 00:17:09.890 riding through the desert trying to get into 00:17:09.890 --> 00:17:12.970 a city and hayden christian hides his face the 00:17:12.970 --> 00:17:15.170 princess hides her face fucking prince the one 00:17:15.170 --> 00:17:18.529 they're trying to fucking murder no hat not just 00:17:18.529 --> 00:17:20.829 looks like a prince yeah but why would you want 00:17:20.829 --> 00:17:23.470 to blend in with the peasantry gross they're 00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:28.569 a bunch of fucking pores yeah ew uh hayden christian 00:17:29.569 --> 00:17:32.390 He while he rescues them first from some the 00:17:32.390 --> 00:17:34.750 Blackguard. Oh, yeah. OK, let's pause here for 00:17:34.750 --> 00:17:36.549 a second, because who is your favorite Blackguard 00:17:36.549 --> 00:17:40.509 character? Oh, the guy who quickly doesn't have 00:17:40.509 --> 00:17:48.630 any eyes. Yeah, I like him. I like the guy with 00:17:48.630 --> 00:17:53.309 the huge mace. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I had 00:17:53.309 --> 00:17:56.130 a favorite. They were all very samey for me. 00:17:56.230 --> 00:17:59.819 Yeah. uh the one i really liked in the final 00:17:59.819 --> 00:18:01.960 scene when nick cage's fight not nick cage when 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:04.859 hayden christiansen's fighting like the usurper 00:18:04.859 --> 00:18:07.599 emperor there's one blackguard in the background 00:18:07.599 --> 00:18:10.720 who's clearly a woman in armor that's way too 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:15.660 big for her awesome i missed that the final extra 00:18:15.660 --> 00:18:18.720 hired yeah yeah it's like nobody else wanted 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:20.900 to be in this film it just looked like a child 00:18:20.900 --> 00:18:23.240 like a child in like in the armor it was just 00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:25.480 it really stood out to me oh that's terrific 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:28.299 I'm going to have to rewatch this. I feel like 00:18:28.299 --> 00:18:30.519 I need to rewatch it because I, I paid attention 00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:32.359 and I missed, I feel like I missed so much like 00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:34.559 little details, little interesting details like 00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:40.059 that. So they go, he leaves, he leaves them there. 00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:42.140 He's like, I don't want to help you. And then 00:18:42.140 --> 00:18:45.799 I kind of, maybe I tuned out or I, I don't know 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:48.259 what happened. Yeah. But they end up in near 00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:52.019 a river village and they're saving this girl 00:18:52.019 --> 00:18:55.230 who. who i don't think i think she speaks once 00:18:55.230 --> 00:18:57.710 here and then i don't remember her saying another 00:18:57.710 --> 00:19:00.569 word except when they're getting kidnapped later 00:19:00.569 --> 00:19:03.750 but she like becomes just an incidental character 00:19:03.750 --> 00:19:05.890 yeah she's background she fills out yeah and 00:19:05.890 --> 00:19:07.630 i was like when i first saw it i was like oh 00:19:07.630 --> 00:19:10.509 she's gonna become the prince's little friend 00:19:10.509 --> 00:19:14.109 maybe i don't know but that didn't happen future 00:19:14.109 --> 00:19:18.049 empress yeah i don't know um casual town girl 00:19:18.049 --> 00:19:20.910 also this is the scene where where hayden christian 00:19:20.910 --> 00:19:25.390 shows off his warrior skills with a z uh where 00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:29.170 he shoots he shoots a bow at this black guard 00:19:29.170 --> 00:19:32.930 person has kidnapped the girl and he shoots he 00:19:32.930 --> 00:19:35.170 shoots him from really far away as he's moving 00:19:35.170 --> 00:19:38.269 and as i saw that i was like is that possible 00:19:38.269 --> 00:19:45.029 that just seems so it's uh incredibly very fantasized 00:19:45.029 --> 00:19:48.869 yeah uh the prince makes that like real boner 00:19:48.869 --> 00:19:52.789 of a shot yeah he's like no let me he like restrings 00:19:52.789 --> 00:19:55.990 a whole nother bow or whatever it's like they're 00:19:55.990 --> 00:19:59.049 also also the the princess and the the young 00:19:59.049 --> 00:20:02.009 son are like oh my gosh like so amazing it's 00:20:02.009 --> 00:20:03.589 like wouldn't you think there'd be like warriors 00:20:03.589 --> 00:20:07.859 in there their cadre who are just as good Or 00:20:07.859 --> 00:20:10.640 better. I do like when he hits the guy, the horse 00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:13.480 goes like, you know, ass over tea kettle. And 00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:16.339 then the girl is drowning in all of six inches 00:20:16.339 --> 00:20:21.759 of water. What drove me crazy about that scene 00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:23.920 is then they leave and they don't take the fucking 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:26.099 horse. And then all of a sudden in the next scene, 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:29.180 they have like four goddamn horses. I mean, horses 00:20:29.180 --> 00:20:31.700 are there. You know, there's all over the place. 00:20:31.700 --> 00:20:33.240 They grow on trees. They jump on them. Yeah, 00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:38.210 exactly. With a saddle. So the scene changes. 00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:40.009 Now they're in a desert. I thought that was pretty 00:20:40.009 --> 00:20:43.410 quick. Yeah, they could have. They could have 00:20:43.410 --> 00:20:45.650 had a little bit more. Well, you know, China 00:20:45.650 --> 00:20:48.369 is not that big of a country. All these different 00:20:48.369 --> 00:20:50.609 biomes are just right next to each other. You 00:20:50.609 --> 00:20:52.829 just move through. Yeah, it's like Minecraft. 00:20:52.990 --> 00:20:55.210 Minecraft. Yeah. So they're now in a desert and 00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:57.869 they're heading towards this this what seems 00:20:57.869 --> 00:21:00.890 like a bandit. town or something yeah it's some 00:21:00.890 --> 00:21:04.490 like off the like cb okay yeah no one's gonna 00:21:04.490 --> 00:21:07.769 look for the prince in a shithole town yeah but 00:21:07.769 --> 00:21:10.490 they bribe this caravan to to take them along 00:21:10.490 --> 00:21:15.150 which okay i love how they that actress has all 00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:18.089 of two lines that aren't overdubbed oh yeah that's 00:21:18.089 --> 00:21:19.869 another thing to talk about there's so many lines 00:21:19.869 --> 00:21:22.809 in this movie that are that are overdubbed that's 00:21:22.809 --> 00:21:26.029 awful like it seems like most of hayden christiansen's 00:21:26.029 --> 00:21:29.470 lines or dialogue is is overdone i think it is 00:21:29.470 --> 00:21:31.750 yeah i mean i wouldn't be surprised if they had 00:21:31.750 --> 00:21:33.970 to be like hayden we need to take you back into 00:21:33.970 --> 00:21:35.950 the studio we'll do some fucking looping let's 00:21:35.950 --> 00:21:40.309 let's can you enunciate like he was high on opium 00:21:40.309 --> 00:21:42.029 though yeah oh yeah he was mumbling the whole 00:21:42.029 --> 00:21:45.309 time we're just gonna put one shot on film but 00:21:45.309 --> 00:21:49.119 we're gonna spend Why is it that when you have 00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:52.380 a foreign language situation, every English speaking 00:21:52.380 --> 00:21:56.059 person is British English? It's the proper English. 00:21:56.660 --> 00:22:00.019 Well, because it's also old timey. Yeah, you 00:22:00.019 --> 00:22:02.700 got to. Yeah, it just always pisses me off. Can 00:22:02.700 --> 00:22:04.680 you imagine them speaking like in a really thick 00:22:04.680 --> 00:22:07.180 southern accent, though? Well, I mean, Nick Cage 00:22:07.180 --> 00:22:11.220 kind of does. What was Cage's accent in this? 00:22:11.769 --> 00:22:13.869 I want Nicolas Cage to do Boston Cop in this 00:22:13.869 --> 00:22:15.890 movie. Oh, yeah. I mean, it would have made as 00:22:15.890 --> 00:22:17.589 much sense as anything else because he's sort 00:22:17.589 --> 00:22:19.329 of like this British thing where it's like, we 00:22:19.329 --> 00:22:23.250 don't have to do this anymore. Let's go up. Yeah. 00:22:23.309 --> 00:22:26.470 I felt like he was trying to go Scottish. Like, 00:22:26.490 --> 00:22:28.509 was this his attempt at a Scottish accent? I 00:22:28.509 --> 00:22:30.769 don't fucking know. It was so bad. I would love 00:22:30.769 --> 00:22:33.450 to hear his preparation for this. If he just 00:22:33.450 --> 00:22:35.869 like, I'm just going to watch some some other 00:22:35.869 --> 00:22:38.930 films and like imitate this. kind of i think 00:22:38.930 --> 00:22:40.670 his preparation for this was he had to be on 00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:43.609 set for three days yeah that's he got on an airplane 00:22:43.609 --> 00:22:46.009 he did say in an interview is three weeks on 00:22:46.009 --> 00:22:49.670 site oh i don't know what he was doing out there 00:22:49.670 --> 00:22:51.930 that's a cool trip to china though opium that 00:22:51.930 --> 00:22:53.650 does sound pretty nice yeah opium you gotta get 00:22:53.650 --> 00:22:55.509 into character there were there were that's something 00:22:55.509 --> 00:22:58.190 i did like about the movie the the scenes the 00:22:58.190 --> 00:23:00.710 like the scenery was really beautiful like it's 00:23:00.710 --> 00:23:03.410 very beautiful visually this movie is great the 00:23:03.410 --> 00:23:06.509 costuming the like all all the visual stuff was 00:23:06.509 --> 00:23:09.009 great yeah cinematography was good you know i 00:23:09.009 --> 00:23:10.529 was thinking about the scenery a lot because 00:23:10.529 --> 00:23:13.250 i was uh this movie made me think a lot of season 00:23:13.250 --> 00:23:16.509 of the witch which is just another it's got really 00:23:16.509 --> 00:23:21.630 good sets and scenery but it's so realistic that 00:23:21.630 --> 00:23:23.630 it just kind of looks drab and gray and is not 00:23:23.630 --> 00:23:26.509 interesting to look at realistic until the cg 00:23:26.509 --> 00:23:29.130 comes in oh god the cg in that movie is so bad 00:23:29.130 --> 00:23:32.170 but they did the practical effects on uh christopher 00:23:32.170 --> 00:23:34.869 lee that looked gnarly i'm talking about setting 00:23:34.869 --> 00:23:37.809 not like yeah yeah the cg part sucked but not 00:23:37.809 --> 00:23:41.190 weird but i'm just talking about like you film 00:23:41.190 --> 00:23:43.049 something that looks so real that it just kind 00:23:43.049 --> 00:23:45.390 of drab and uninteresting whereas you film something 00:23:45.390 --> 00:23:46.970 like this where everything's a little the colors 00:23:46.970 --> 00:23:49.289 and everything's punched up a little bit and 00:23:49.289 --> 00:23:50.849 it's much more interesting to look at and your 00:23:50.849 --> 00:23:53.140 brain is like this is real Well, that's the difference 00:23:53.140 --> 00:23:55.759 between like Europe and the Far East. Europe 00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:59.519 is just wet and dark and gray. Yeah. And everything 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:02.059 that happens like it never rains in China. I'm 00:24:02.059 --> 00:24:07.460 pretty sure of that. I did research. Yeah. Oh, 00:24:07.460 --> 00:24:10.220 we're getting back to cage. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:12.799 true. Yeah. We're all see where we're almost 00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:15.799 there. So they go they go to the city. They sit 00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:17.619 down. They do get stopped at the city gates. 00:24:17.740 --> 00:24:20.400 The woman bribes them. I thought that was pretty 00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:22.990 easy. And they're like real cops, basically. 00:24:24.230 --> 00:24:28.109 You mean corruptible? Yeah, corruptible. Let's 00:24:28.109 --> 00:24:31.450 see. This is where I said maybe this is a thin 00:24:31.450 --> 00:24:34.210 blue line podcast, Kyle. Sorry, I didn't know 00:24:34.210 --> 00:24:39.089 that. We love police here. Yeah, this is a cab. 00:24:39.190 --> 00:24:41.529 All cops are beautiful. Oh, OK. I got you. I 00:24:41.529 --> 00:24:43.490 got you. This is where I said, like, maybe they 00:24:43.490 --> 00:24:45.509 should cut their cut his fucking hair because 00:24:45.509 --> 00:24:48.630 the boy is not covering up at all. And it's also 00:24:48.630 --> 00:24:51.930 where I said so. Yeah, they go to this. tea house 00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:53.990 or whatever and this is where i said like maybe 00:24:53.990 --> 00:24:55.869 don't be so trusting of this woman you just met 00:24:55.869 --> 00:24:59.630 geez you know they took some drug like more opium 00:24:59.630 --> 00:25:02.009 and yeah and took this drink some tea and then 00:25:02.009 --> 00:25:04.910 obviously was drugged and then this is where 00:25:04.910 --> 00:25:07.509 this is where nicholas cage comes in yeah so 00:25:07.509 --> 00:25:10.089 the prince and the princess get kidnapped yes 00:25:10.089 --> 00:25:14.130 and then unkidnapped no they get away yeah the 00:25:14.130 --> 00:25:17.130 princess is like hey we gotta go they're fucking 00:25:17.130 --> 00:25:19.950 coming for us and then hayden christiansen wakes 00:25:19.950 --> 00:25:22.039 up and he's all like tied up or whatever and 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:27.240 then he takes on like what 15 20 different like 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.160 chinese soldiers and like mercenaries and he 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:32.440 like slices some dude's sword in half oh dude 00:25:32.440 --> 00:25:35.500 he went on a fucking tear like i was like oh 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:37.460 my god are you fucking kidding me there's one 00:25:37.460 --> 00:25:41.160 fucking crusader i mean he's a white guy though 00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:43.079 yeah it's true he's got big white energy he's 00:25:43.079 --> 00:25:47.019 got the power of the white man he just cleaved 00:25:47.019 --> 00:25:49.730 through those swords Both Hayden Christiansen 00:25:49.730 --> 00:25:53.049 and Nick Cage's fight scenes gave me really like, 00:25:53.130 --> 00:25:57.990 nah, I have anti -sword shielding. Well, if there's 00:25:57.990 --> 00:26:00.549 anything I've learned from my life in construction, 00:26:00.849 --> 00:26:06.750 it's Chinese metal is inferior. So this is, yeah, 00:26:06.829 --> 00:26:09.690 this is the reappearance of Cage. Who is the 00:26:09.690 --> 00:26:12.390 actual white ghost? Yeah, the actual white ghost. 00:26:12.490 --> 00:26:15.700 And now they're in a... Yeah, it's like a whole 00:26:15.700 --> 00:26:19.099 cave system. It's like a bandit bolt hole. I 00:26:19.099 --> 00:26:20.500 wouldn't call it an outlaw because he doesn't 00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:22.200 want to be called that. That's right. It's like 00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:24.940 an outlaw cave. Yeah. Sort of beautiful moment 00:26:24.940 --> 00:26:27.079 where Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen sort 00:26:27.079 --> 00:26:29.779 of, there's the scene that shows Nicolas Cage 00:26:29.779 --> 00:26:33.960 teaching Hayden how to shoot a bow. That was 00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:36.240 much earlier in the movie. It was much earlier. 00:26:36.700 --> 00:26:38.980 Paralleled by Hayden Christensen teaching the 00:26:38.980 --> 00:26:40.299 prince. Right, that's true. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:26:40.750 --> 00:26:43.289 uh and that's where we see that first scene yeah 00:26:43.289 --> 00:26:49.009 sorry uh and then um they kind of reconcile it 00:26:49.009 --> 00:26:51.769 seems uh you know i think uh what do you say 00:26:51.769 --> 00:26:54.950 he said he didn't kill any children that's kind 00:26:54.950 --> 00:26:56.829 of all he needed i guess he's like oh you didn't 00:26:56.829 --> 00:27:00.529 kill any kids okay oh yeah in the beginning cage 00:27:00.529 --> 00:27:03.890 walked in after hayden christiansen had this 00:27:03.890 --> 00:27:06.509 whole like interaction inside like back in the 00:27:06.509 --> 00:27:10.130 the the middle east not the far east where you 00:27:10.130 --> 00:27:12.809 know he went into this like uh like a mosque 00:27:12.809 --> 00:27:14.630 or something and all the women and children were 00:27:14.630 --> 00:27:18.170 there but like uh the the lady killed all the 00:27:18.170 --> 00:27:20.670 kids and then like killed herself or something 00:27:20.670 --> 00:27:22.430 and then nicholas cage showed up and thought 00:27:22.430 --> 00:27:24.710 that hayne christiansen killed all the kids so 00:27:24.710 --> 00:27:27.109 to be fair he did kill all the younglings in 00:27:27.109 --> 00:27:29.630 that other movie That's true. He did kill a lot 00:27:29.630 --> 00:27:31.609 of younglings. There's precedent. There's precedent. 00:27:31.910 --> 00:27:34.569 Yeah. Yeah. Reason to be concerned. And it's 00:27:34.569 --> 00:27:37.089 like, you know, oh, you didn't you. You may have 00:27:37.089 --> 00:27:39.829 killed all these other people that you were invading, 00:27:39.829 --> 00:27:41.630 but, you know, you didn't kill any kids. So that's 00:27:41.630 --> 00:27:44.210 good. Yeah. That means your heart is pure. Yeah. 00:27:44.549 --> 00:27:47.029 And then they get reports. There's some like 00:27:47.029 --> 00:27:50.170 a little bit of training scenes. I'll be honest. 00:27:50.289 --> 00:27:52.769 I was cooking while this was going on. So I may 00:27:52.769 --> 00:27:54.910 have missed. What did you make? I made dumplings. 00:27:55.150 --> 00:27:57.799 Oh, fantastic. I do have a question for the room 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:01.700 about when Nicolas Cage first shows up here and 00:28:01.700 --> 00:28:04.980 the final third of the film. That snake he's 00:28:04.980 --> 00:28:06.299 holding, you think he brought that from home? 00:28:06.500 --> 00:28:09.079 Which one? Left snake or right snake? Which snake, 00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:12.960 Sean? Both snakes. Either snake. Is he a snake 00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:15.299 wrangler, actually? I have no fucking clue. I 00:28:15.299 --> 00:28:18.680 hope so. He used to own, I've talked about this 00:28:18.680 --> 00:28:21.759 a few times, he used to own like a King Cobra. 00:28:21.960 --> 00:28:24.559 Oh. But he got complaints from his neighbors 00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:26.339 and had to get rid of it because it kept getting 00:28:26.339 --> 00:28:30.259 out. So not like a good snake. Yeah, yeah. Oh, 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:32.460 well, one of the things he talked about in some 00:28:32.460 --> 00:28:35.089 like. special feature stuff that i watched was 00:28:35.089 --> 00:28:36.650 he was talking about this film and he was talking 00:28:36.650 --> 00:28:38.569 about the director and he was like you know giving 00:28:38.569 --> 00:28:40.609 accolades to the director and he was like oh 00:28:40.609 --> 00:28:43.329 yeah whose name is also nick he's like nick it 00:28:43.329 --> 00:28:45.490 was so nice to work with nick it's like uh nice 00:28:45.490 --> 00:28:47.569 to work with somebody who lets you like do these 00:28:47.569 --> 00:28:50.769 things and like he gives me the freedom to do 00:28:50.769 --> 00:28:53.789 the sort of things that like i i love to do like 00:28:53.789 --> 00:28:55.650 like if i come on stage i'm like you know what 00:28:55.650 --> 00:28:57.410 i really think this character needs like two 00:28:57.410 --> 00:29:00.400 snakes i need to be holding two snakes He just 00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:03.140 like makes it happen. It's like, so Nicolas Cage 00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:04.920 just showed up when he's like, you know what? 00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:07.519 You know what? This character right now, he needs 00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:10.920 to be holding two snakes. Double fist and snakes. 00:29:10.980 --> 00:29:13.220 Yeah, like we respect your art. Yeah, and they're 00:29:13.220 --> 00:29:15.039 like, I don't know. We already got Nicolas Cage. 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.200 Just fucking give him the snakes. My only note 00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:20.619 was Snake Man. Yeah, can we just ship in some 00:29:20.619 --> 00:29:24.359 snakes? In my work, I have worked with, well. 00:29:24.839 --> 00:29:27.500 I have not personally, but I've, yeah, I've had 00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:30.500 to pay snake people and like, and they always 00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:32.579 have people. Yeah. Snake people. They always 00:29:32.579 --> 00:29:35.160 have great company names too. They're always 00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:38.500 like some kind of pun on like snake Wrangler, 00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:42.279 whatever, you know, mine would just be, you can 00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:50.140 do that. All right. The movie. So they, at this 00:29:50.140 --> 00:29:53.440 point they, they receive word that. The black 00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:56.380 art is coming with the older prince. Yeah. And 00:29:56.380 --> 00:29:58.740 they're going to they're going to fuck him up. 00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:02.299 And so they start preparing. This is this is 00:30:02.299 --> 00:30:05.279 a great point for a montage making bombs. Oh, 00:30:05.339 --> 00:30:07.559 hell yeah. Preparing arrows and everything, getting 00:30:07.559 --> 00:30:10.720 everybody ready. I do love a good montage. And 00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:12.359 then the fight starts, which is basically the 00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:16.579 last 20, 30, 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. I really 00:30:16.579 --> 00:30:19.380 couldn't say much about that. Those scenes, aside 00:30:19.380 --> 00:30:23.740 from that, Nicolas Cage's wife. in his arms. 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:26.059 Oh, his mute wife? His mute wife. I knew she 00:30:26.059 --> 00:30:28.079 was going to die from the moment she didn't talk. 00:30:28.319 --> 00:30:31.299 I was like, oh, you don't get lines? Sorry. Sorry, 00:30:31.380 --> 00:30:33.880 lady. I'm assuming she was some producer's wife. 00:30:34.059 --> 00:30:38.119 Yeah, probably. I liked the cave trap. That was 00:30:38.119 --> 00:30:41.640 tight. Oh, yeah. The spike thing. I love a good 00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:43.940 trap. Give me a trap in any movie. That's so 00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:45.680 fun. Oh, yeah. There needs to be more. Something 00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:47.400 that's swinging down and stabbing somebody. We 00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:49.059 need more Home Alone -esque movies. Totally. 00:30:49.180 --> 00:30:51.059 Really. They should really just remake that movie. 00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:54.019 But violent. Yeah. We need people to get hurt. 00:30:55.140 --> 00:30:59.420 When is that public domain? Exactly. So they 00:30:59.420 --> 00:31:02.839 fight. She gets not blown up. Just I think the 00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:05.119 bomb goes off, which I couldn't tell. It seemed 00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:08.500 like the bomb went off in front in front of Nicolas 00:31:08.500 --> 00:31:11.579 Cage. I was I don't know. I think she put herself 00:31:11.579 --> 00:31:14.960 between him and the bomb. Like she like swung 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:17.519 around him or something. I don't know. She just 00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:19.759 took the shrapnel. She was there for the bits. 00:31:20.279 --> 00:31:22.200 Yeah, at this point, Nick Cage goes out to get 00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:24.940 revenge and give Hayden Christensen and the prince 00:31:24.940 --> 00:31:27.799 a chance to escape. Hayden Christensen goes and 00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:30.460 gets them. Nick Cage has a cool fight where he 00:31:30.460 --> 00:31:32.500 just kills a bunch of people and gets stabbed 00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:35.480 a bunch, but doesn't go down. And then when all 00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:37.940 is said and done, Hayden Christensen and the 00:31:37.940 --> 00:31:41.160 prince and the princess just walk out and say 00:31:41.160 --> 00:31:43.759 hi to everybody. He doesn't even give them time 00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:46.700 to escape. They do have time to escape. They 00:31:46.700 --> 00:31:50.740 just went out the front door. yeah and then you 00:31:50.740 --> 00:31:52.799 know so he dies which you know that was that 00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:56.200 was sad uh to see yeah but uh yeah and like you 00:31:56.200 --> 00:31:57.920 said especially a guy with such a sweet ass eye 00:31:57.920 --> 00:32:01.299 scar oh yeah oh yeah he did open his eye several 00:32:01.299 --> 00:32:04.000 times i did notice that like there were several 00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:05.839 times where it was a little bit of a close -up 00:32:05.839 --> 00:32:07.839 on his face and his eye would open and it's like 00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:10.500 your eye is clearly not damned just put an eye 00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:12.859 patch on my man yeah no no eye patches don't 00:32:12.859 --> 00:32:15.980 go well for people maybe super glue it It's just 00:32:15.980 --> 00:32:18.960 some kind of prosthetic. Some of us can't wink. 00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:20.819 You don't need to wink. You just need to leave 00:32:20.819 --> 00:32:23.779 it closed. That's the that's the issue. Well, 00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:27.599 and then Hayden kills Shing in a battle with 00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:30.240 this with a little dagger. Oh, yeah. Little dagger. 00:32:30.700 --> 00:32:34.240 But also the princess gets stabbed, too. I think. 00:32:34.460 --> 00:32:37.079 But in like a tender part that didn't kill her. 00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:38.960 Yes, exactly. Oh, yeah. Everyone else survives. 00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:41.579 All the all the they all look like they die. 00:32:41.660 --> 00:32:44.079 All the good people. No, this this bothers me 00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:46.900 because. sister gets run through trying to kill 00:32:46.900 --> 00:32:50.240 shane hayden christiansen shot twice and also 00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.440 like goes down and you have this like they say 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:55.019 they love each other and they both kind of like 00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:57.799 do the final breath and like head tilt to the 00:32:57.799 --> 00:33:00.480 side hard cut to the next day and they're fine 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:02.420 but it's also the end of the movie so it doesn't 00:33:02.420 --> 00:33:04.019 matter oh yeah it's like three days later whatever 00:33:04.019 --> 00:33:05.799 something like that yeah and then they're they're 00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:07.420 they're there's a they're meeting the generals 00:33:07.420 --> 00:33:10.619 that are in who know all support yeah yeah well 00:33:10.619 --> 00:33:12.640 yeah they just i think they would have supported 00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:15.390 who again Would they support anyone who has... 00:33:15.390 --> 00:33:17.630 If Hayden Christensen had that fucking seal, 00:33:17.690 --> 00:33:19.589 would he be the emperor? He's the emperor, probably. 00:33:19.630 --> 00:33:21.529 That would have been amazing if that happened. 00:33:21.750 --> 00:33:26.910 Yeah. They go, they crown the little boy, and 00:33:26.910 --> 00:33:32.089 then... Then Haya plays. Yeah, Leon and Hayden 00:33:32.089 --> 00:33:33.309 Christensen have a little sweet moment, and then 00:33:33.309 --> 00:33:35.390 he just peaces out. He just leaves. And then 00:33:35.390 --> 00:33:37.349 the camera just kind of goes like... Yeah, and 00:33:37.349 --> 00:33:41.069 then the credits. Yeah, and I was like, I mean... 00:33:41.319 --> 00:33:43.000 that's kind of nice that they did not end up 00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:45.759 together. Yeah. He's like, he's got, he's a Ronin. 00:33:45.759 --> 00:33:47.779 You can't have interracial relationships. That's 00:33:47.779 --> 00:33:51.680 just not okay. That ending stinks of test screening. 00:33:51.740 --> 00:33:53.539 Didn't like the fact that they die. So they're 00:33:53.539 --> 00:33:55.400 just like, we're just going to film like an extra 00:33:55.400 --> 00:34:00.119 two minutes. That's probably true. Well, cause 00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:01.960 at the end of the scene where they do die, cause 00:34:01.960 --> 00:34:04.279 they do fucking die. The one general who's like 00:34:04.279 --> 00:34:06.400 known the whole time is just like, you know, 00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:09.159 bows down to the Prince credits there. That's 00:34:09.159 --> 00:34:11.400 the end of the movie. Well, they probably just 00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:13.800 kind of like painted themselves into a corner. 00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:15.340 They're like, oh, man, this is going to look 00:34:15.340 --> 00:34:17.639 so good. It's going to feel so good during the 00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:20.219 scene. And they're like, oh, man, we shot this 00:34:20.219 --> 00:34:23.380 great death. But we clearly need them to end 00:34:23.380 --> 00:34:27.079 happily. Like it was written to end happy. I 00:34:27.079 --> 00:34:29.139 mean, the happiness is that Zhao becomes a good 00:34:29.139 --> 00:34:32.420 emperor. Yeah, sure. Well, in theory. In theory. 00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:35.420 Or he's like, wait, military power is amazing. 00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:38.900 I got to go subjugate these other kingdoms. Yeah, 00:34:38.940 --> 00:34:43.059 I learned how to bow. Yeah. And that's the end 00:34:43.059 --> 00:34:45.440 of the film. I did have some other notes, some 00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:49.780 fun notes. The jump cuts. We didn't talk about 00:34:49.780 --> 00:34:54.059 that, but there's so many. It felt like I said 00:34:54.059 --> 00:34:55.360 this to you earlier. It felt like Saving Private 00:34:55.360 --> 00:34:58.000 Ryan like the whole time. And there was a couple 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:59.579 of scenes that really didn't need it because 00:34:59.579 --> 00:35:01.219 it was there was one scene where he's rowing 00:35:01.219 --> 00:35:03.719 a boat. Right. And there's like a couple of jump 00:35:03.719 --> 00:35:06.429 cuts. I was like. This isn't necessary. Just 00:35:06.429 --> 00:35:09.130 show him rowing the boat. You can just row the 00:35:09.130 --> 00:35:10.650 boat. I could be fine with not seeing him row 00:35:10.650 --> 00:35:12.269 the boat. Yeah, exactly. It could be him coming 00:35:12.269 --> 00:35:14.550 out of the boat. I wrote down my favorite quote 00:35:14.550 --> 00:35:17.829 from Nicolas Cage, of course. Oh, please. Blackguards 00:35:17.829 --> 00:35:20.610 are as thick as flies on a farting goat's ass. 00:35:20.929 --> 00:35:23.510 An excellent quote. It was a great quote. Sean, 00:35:23.610 --> 00:35:25.409 did you have a favorite quote? I do have a favorite 00:35:25.409 --> 00:35:29.170 quote. All lands burn, Jacob. You know that better 00:35:29.170 --> 00:35:32.250 than anyone. I have to take a piss. That was 00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:36.150 another good one. And then one last thing. Shing 00:35:36.150 --> 00:35:39.030 was ripped. Oh, that was one where he took his 00:35:39.030 --> 00:35:41.670 shirt off and I was like, okay. All right, Shing. 00:35:42.610 --> 00:35:45.150 Lifestyle of military action. I mean, yeah, he 00:35:45.150 --> 00:35:47.869 had some. I mean, Mace guy was probably like 00:35:47.869 --> 00:35:51.309 pretty soft body, but he's strong. Yeah. Nick, 00:35:51.369 --> 00:35:53.969 did you have a favorite quote? No, just every 00:35:53.969 --> 00:35:57.570 time they did opium was my favorite. I want that. 00:35:57.670 --> 00:35:59.329 Yeah, it wasn't a quote. It was mostly like, 00:35:59.409 --> 00:36:02.090 oh, I love drugs. Drugs are cool. drugs make 00:36:02.090 --> 00:36:04.530 everybody look cool i liked when nick cage met 00:36:04.530 --> 00:36:06.269 the the prince and he just goes what are you 00:36:06.269 --> 00:36:09.530 10 which is exactly how i feel about meeting 00:36:09.530 --> 00:36:12.670 anybody under like 30 at this point yeah the 00:36:12.670 --> 00:36:15.949 only other one i liked was uh he said you're 00:36:15.949 --> 00:36:20.769 lucky my wife likes you where's my wine yeah 00:36:20.769 --> 00:36:22.750 i was thinking about this movie a lot and i was 00:36:22.750 --> 00:36:25.679 like oh Does it have the things that I really 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:28.500 love in life? And you just reminded me. And drugs. 00:36:28.659 --> 00:36:32.400 It has a boat chase. And I love a boat chase. 00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:35.619 It's very slow. Yes. Well, I mean, they were 00:36:35.619 --> 00:36:38.059 slow, but somehow Hayden Christensen caught up 00:36:38.059 --> 00:36:41.239 after they had like a 10 minute. It's those strong 00:36:41.239 --> 00:36:44.800 white muscles. Big white muscles. He can row 00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:47.579 a small Asian boat like nobody's business. Well 00:36:47.579 --> 00:36:49.800 -crafted boats. Yeah. Those are cool boats. They're 00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:51.619 cool looking boats. Yeah. Yeah, I like them. 00:36:51.719 --> 00:36:53.820 But I love a good boat chase. That's good. I 00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:55.719 did appreciate when the princess and prince were 00:36:55.719 --> 00:36:57.880 like running away and they were getting a boat. 00:36:57.980 --> 00:36:59.960 They had the wherewithal to like, let's just 00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:01.420 untie all the other boats so they float away. 00:37:01.739 --> 00:37:03.639 Yeah, I like when when they're crafty. That's 00:37:03.639 --> 00:37:06.219 a nice, nice aspect. That's probably why everybody 00:37:06.219 --> 00:37:07.860 caught up, though, because they spent so much 00:37:07.860 --> 00:37:10.880 time diligently untying knots that those people 00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:12.519 just walked out in the six inches of water and 00:37:12.519 --> 00:37:14.559 got the boat. So that would have been a great 00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:17.199 scene if they were rowing really furiously. And 00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:19.920 then the black guard is just like walking up 00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:24.920 to them, just running at them. Hey, stop. So 00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:27.199 this movie wants you to care about these characters 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:29.460 so much without actually giving you any reason 00:37:29.460 --> 00:37:31.780 to care about them other than like sentimental, 00:37:31.860 --> 00:37:35.280 like. flashbacks that mean nothing yeah you're 00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:38.659 told to care for them and so that's the expectation 00:37:38.659 --> 00:37:40.519 that you just will it's like oh he's the nice 00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:42.679 one but there's no like actual narrative reason 00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:45.420 or like any actual character quality that you're 00:37:45.420 --> 00:37:47.480 that you do like about these people other than 00:37:47.480 --> 00:37:49.900 like you're told to and it's just so that's why 00:37:49.900 --> 00:37:51.840 you hire nicholas cage that's right yeah and 00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:54.940 hayden christensen apparently so i think this 00:37:54.940 --> 00:37:58.289 movie would be better At the end, if after the 00:37:58.289 --> 00:38:00.309 credits, there was a post -credit scene and it's 00:38:00.309 --> 00:38:03.429 just a pile of bodies. And then that monk from 00:38:03.429 --> 00:38:07.329 the beginning just like shoots out. Yeah, yeah, 00:38:07.329 --> 00:38:09.349 yeah. Would he be a good guy or a bad guy? Oh, 00:38:09.349 --> 00:38:12.489 he protected against the Blackguard. Yeah. I 00:38:12.489 --> 00:38:14.889 would. They need a movie of just him. I know. 00:38:15.050 --> 00:38:19.539 That guy was cool. This movie's like. like pretty 00:38:19.539 --> 00:38:21.780 empirically bad, but I had a pretty good time 00:38:21.780 --> 00:38:23.360 with it. And one of the things that I, that I 00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:24.880 actually enjoyed was the fight choreography. 00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:28.960 I thought it was like, not bad. Yeah. And luckily 00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:32.440 the film is just fights and segues into fights. 00:38:32.679 --> 00:38:34.639 Exactly. That's all it is. It's like, Hey, we're 00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:36.320 going to set up a scene for the next fight scene. 00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:38.079 My only complaint about the fights. It's got 00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:42.940 that very 2010 style, like, like camera right 00:38:42.940 --> 00:38:44.760 up in the fight, shaky cam. So you can't really 00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:47.039 appreciate the choreography that much, but the 00:38:47.039 --> 00:38:50.329 fights are good. It's also just there to hide 00:38:50.329 --> 00:38:53.250 the choreography. That's true. A film like this 00:38:53.250 --> 00:38:56.510 does not pay a very high -end choreographer. 00:38:58.269 --> 00:39:00.210 Hayden Christensen might have those lightsaber 00:39:00.210 --> 00:39:02.949 skills, which could translate to a long sword, 00:39:03.090 --> 00:39:08.269 but it's Nicolas Cage still. When I was in high 00:39:08.269 --> 00:39:14.400 school, I went to this fairly expensive... not 00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:17.340 real school where it was like mostly art school 00:39:17.340 --> 00:39:21.320 but like we also learned history i guess did 00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:24.659 i know was it like a montessori thing no i mean 00:39:24.659 --> 00:39:26.940 it was just like a college prep school in kansas 00:39:26.940 --> 00:39:29.980 city and um my my buddy peter and i we were in 00:39:29.980 --> 00:39:32.519 gym class together in gym class like our wait 00:39:32.519 --> 00:39:35.900 peter and peter yeah okay my two years from kansas 00:39:35.900 --> 00:39:38.460 city yeah did one of you have to go by pete uh 00:39:38.460 --> 00:39:40.960 no we were just i was the other peter because 00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:43.519 he had gone to the the prep like grade school 00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:46.760 going into it so he had pre -established he had 00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:50.360 dibs yeah he had dibs so the gym class you could 00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:54.400 like go and do stuff but they also didn't care 00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:57.119 if you didn't do stuff as long as it was loosely 00:39:57.119 --> 00:40:01.119 like athletic active yeah so they had fencing 00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:05.099 foils and they had like the high jump mats and 00:40:05.099 --> 00:40:06.760 all the shit that would be out on the track so 00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:09.119 he and i just spent like i don't know probably 00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:12.230 a full fucking year doing like fencing choreography 00:40:12.230 --> 00:40:15.690 and like pratfalls and like jumps you jump at 00:40:15.690 --> 00:40:17.909 this point i'm gonna give you a clue it's actually 00:40:17.909 --> 00:40:20.969 really fucking fun were we any good at it no 00:40:20.969 --> 00:40:24.389 but it makes me always like think about choreography 00:40:24.389 --> 00:40:27.030 and be like nice there was that could have been 00:40:27.030 --> 00:40:30.989 me there was a hot minute in uh college it was 00:40:30.989 --> 00:40:32.710 around was it around the time i think it was 00:40:32.710 --> 00:40:34.650 around the time that we were doing like three 00:40:34.650 --> 00:40:38.630 musketeers that a lot of my classmates and stuff 00:40:38.630 --> 00:40:41.769 got really into fight choreography and this and 00:40:41.769 --> 00:40:43.769 that it's like every time we're at a party they're 00:40:43.769 --> 00:40:46.670 fucking around with this shit and it's like stagehand 00:40:46.670 --> 00:40:48.889 i didn't give a shit this isn't my thing i'm 00:40:48.889 --> 00:40:51.889 there to get drunk and do drugs and i did oh 00:40:51.889 --> 00:40:57.690 yeah oh man once um but uh yeah it was just so 00:40:57.690 --> 00:41:00.250 annoying to just always have like seven people 00:41:00.250 --> 00:41:03.570 at a party like doing like fake slaps and like 00:41:03.570 --> 00:41:08.010 busting out their fucking foils or whatever it's 00:41:08.010 --> 00:41:10.690 like oh my god i'm bringing over a bunch of bottles 00:41:10.690 --> 00:41:13.650 of sugar glass guys i'm trying to get laid like 00:41:13.650 --> 00:41:17.630 i did think for a movie in china there would 00:41:17.630 --> 00:41:20.789 be more like martial arts like real martial arts 00:41:20.789 --> 00:41:22.710 i didn't i didn't think they would just be like 00:41:22.710 --> 00:41:26.309 no no no there was definitely more martial arts 00:41:26.309 --> 00:41:29.690 and jujitsu yeah god i mean it's in the name 00:41:29.690 --> 00:41:32.070 but it is in the name that one also had a cool 00:41:32.070 --> 00:41:36.170 alien was the alien cool I don't know. He was 00:41:36.170 --> 00:41:38.650 an alien. It was probably cooler than most of 00:41:38.650 --> 00:41:40.969 that movie. You know what Jujitsu had that this 00:41:40.969 --> 00:41:42.789 movie doesn't have? A first person sequence. 00:41:43.409 --> 00:41:46.250 Oh, yeah. First person running along the wall. 00:41:46.590 --> 00:41:50.210 God, fuck that movie. What is this movie? Jujitsu 00:41:50.210 --> 00:41:51.849 is the first movie that we watched. So it was 00:41:51.849 --> 00:41:54.389 Jujitsu versus Face Off. Yeah, it was basically 00:41:54.389 --> 00:41:57.530 doomed to fail. But yeah, it's it's like bad 00:41:57.530 --> 00:42:02.639 CGI. 2016 kind of nick cage just like being a 00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:05.239 guy who shows up yeah also white savior ish in 00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.099 that one yeah yeah i did appreciate this movie 00:42:08.099 --> 00:42:10.599 was there was not a lot of cgi i didn't really 00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:13.480 notice much at all yeah yeah it seemed actually 00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:16.099 fairly practical the only cgi i noticed was the 00:42:16.099 --> 00:42:19.840 siege was uh the cgi fire at times but that's 00:42:19.840 --> 00:42:23.820 it sure yeah okay so where we haven't done this 00:42:23.820 --> 00:42:25.519 ranking in a while but like where would you put 00:42:25.519 --> 00:42:28.920 this on like the cage matrix of Good movie, good 00:42:28.920 --> 00:42:33.079 acting, bad movie, bad acting. Quadrant. Bad, 00:42:33.079 --> 00:42:37.619 bad. I knew where you were going. I feel like 00:42:37.619 --> 00:42:39.480 it's hard because he's not he's just not in it 00:42:39.480 --> 00:42:44.480 long enough. That's never stopped us. Yeah. I 00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:47.380 mean, I'm trying to think about it in the lens 00:42:47.380 --> 00:42:52.000 of maybe of the time. Of the time. You know, 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:53.900 in the early 2000s, because there was a ton of 00:42:53.900 --> 00:42:57.380 movies like this, I feel. Yeah, I probably if 00:42:57.380 --> 00:43:00.539 I was this was a vibe for sure. Yeah, if I was 00:43:00.539 --> 00:43:02.420 a kid and I went to see this, I probably would 00:43:02.420 --> 00:43:05.300 have liked it because I was an idiot. What are 00:43:05.300 --> 00:43:08.380 you, 10? What are you, 10? Yeah, I probably would 00:43:08.380 --> 00:43:11.599 have liked it. I can't say it's like really a 00:43:11.599 --> 00:43:14.000 terrible movie because there's a lot of good 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.280 things about it. I would put it in the middle 00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:19.460 smack dab in the middle. Yeah. Yeah, it's a solid 00:43:19.460 --> 00:43:23.500 C plus for me. Nick Cage's character. Did he 00:43:23.500 --> 00:43:27.480 do it well? I don't know, but he was there. He 00:43:27.480 --> 00:43:30.119 had two snakes. He had two snakes. He had a cool 00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:32.860 dreadlock topknot at one point. Some great lines. 00:43:33.039 --> 00:43:37.139 Yeah, great lines. Banger of a script. I don't 00:43:37.139 --> 00:43:40.460 know why this didn't get a Tony. Oh, there was 00:43:40.460 --> 00:43:46.679 a stage adaptation, by the way. Outcast the musical. 00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:49.380 That was actually funny. I get one off every 00:43:49.380 --> 00:43:51.679 once in a while. Yeah, I think it was a good 00:43:51.679 --> 00:43:55.670 C plus. Cage, maybe a C. But he had snakes. A 00:43:55.670 --> 00:43:58.429 snake arms brings it up to a good B minus. Yeah. 00:43:58.610 --> 00:44:02.269 So I felt good about it. I feel like I went into 00:44:02.269 --> 00:44:05.030 this expecting it to be total shit. Yeah. And 00:44:05.030 --> 00:44:07.170 it was only like a little bit of a turd. Yeah. 00:44:07.250 --> 00:44:09.070 It is like a fugue state in the middle where 00:44:09.070 --> 00:44:10.769 you can just completely forget what's going on 00:44:10.769 --> 00:44:12.349 or not pay attention at all and just check in 00:44:12.349 --> 00:44:15.449 and be like, oh, still no Nick. OK. Yeah. I will 00:44:15.449 --> 00:44:18.389 say it's a movie I watched. Emphasis on watched 00:44:18.389 --> 00:44:21.610 because I saw the whole thing. You know, another 00:44:21.610 --> 00:44:23.389 thing I was expecting there to be more like. 00:44:23.710 --> 00:44:26.730 comedy for some reason but it was a very serious 00:44:26.730 --> 00:44:30.489 affair yeah the whole time oh yeah there's no 00:44:30.489 --> 00:44:32.650 joking about this there's not really any like 00:44:32.650 --> 00:44:36.110 comedy but i guess that is that the era of film 00:44:36.110 --> 00:44:39.570 maybe yeah maybe i'm just so used to like really 00:44:39.570 --> 00:44:41.329 serious films having at least one little like 00:44:41.329 --> 00:44:44.010 punchy joke here yeah like a good joke break 00:44:44.010 --> 00:44:45.809 everyone yeah there really wasn't any humor in 00:44:45.809 --> 00:44:48.090 this one is like very serious the whole time 00:44:48.090 --> 00:44:53.630 serious business about okay well choosing an 00:44:53.630 --> 00:44:57.170 emperor yeah okay i will say there was one kind 00:44:57.170 --> 00:44:59.150 of joke in there when hayden christiansen is 00:44:59.150 --> 00:45:01.650 teaching the prince how to shoot a bow and we 00:45:01.650 --> 00:45:05.230 cut to nick cage teaching him and you know nick 00:45:05.230 --> 00:45:07.710 cage like got him to focus by standing next to 00:45:07.710 --> 00:45:09.650 the target and hayden christiansen like stands 00:45:09.650 --> 00:45:11.530 at the target then almost gets shot that was 00:45:11.530 --> 00:45:16.230 a tempting joke yeah yeah was it good no but 00:45:16.230 --> 00:45:19.909 they tried I wonder if you think Nicolas Cage 00:45:19.909 --> 00:45:23.170 was supposed to supposed to be the like comedy. 00:45:23.269 --> 00:45:25.670 Maybe I think so. I mean, he definitely has the 00:45:25.670 --> 00:45:27.710 funniest lines in there. Oh, yeah. Whether they're 00:45:27.710 --> 00:45:30.929 actually super laughy, funny, debatable. But 00:45:30.929 --> 00:45:34.570 I mean, you definitely cast Nick Cage for his 00:45:34.570 --> 00:45:37.349 character, no matter what character you put him 00:45:37.349 --> 00:45:39.969 in. Yeah. Yeah. I wish I just wish he would have 00:45:39.969 --> 00:45:42.090 gone more, you know, balls to the walls with 00:45:42.090 --> 00:45:44.849 it. It would have been great if he was just like 00:45:44.849 --> 00:45:48.760 his time in the. in the far east had made him 00:45:48.760 --> 00:45:52.860 like just super unhinged out there like with 00:45:52.860 --> 00:45:55.280 a boston accent with a boston accent boston cop 00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:59.280 accent boston cop boston cop i know we have watched 00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:01.380 more nicholas cage than is probably recommended 00:46:01.380 --> 00:46:04.519 by most professionals but there are definitely 00:46:04.519 --> 00:46:07.539 things i've like i'm starting to pick up on uh 00:46:07.539 --> 00:46:10.519 in his performance mostly his like stance when 00:46:10.519 --> 00:46:12.960 he's like like his fuming stance he has that 00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:15.460 very like shoulders forward like neck hunched 00:46:15.460 --> 00:46:18.070 down just kind of like he was making a ton of 00:46:18.070 --> 00:46:19.929 movies during this time too i looked it up in 00:46:19.929 --> 00:46:22.869 the in the years from like i think it was 2010 00:46:22.869 --> 00:46:27.550 to 2020 he made 44 movies it's a ton and like 00:46:27.550 --> 00:46:30.809 the the quality fluctuates wild oh yeah it's 00:46:30.809 --> 00:46:33.590 insane but i think that's why i love him so much 00:46:33.590 --> 00:46:35.389 is that he's like capable of just these like 00:46:35.389 --> 00:46:39.630 these crazy crappy movies that are still like 00:46:39.630 --> 00:46:42.050 well that's nicholas gage but also just like 00:46:42.050 --> 00:46:44.690 a very like pig you know just a very right uh 00:46:44.690 --> 00:46:48.280 like artful meaningful movie yeah he's he's a 00:46:48.280 --> 00:46:50.579 wild actor it's it's pretty cool i'll just take 00:46:50.579 --> 00:46:53.639 our last five minutes um there was something 00:46:53.639 --> 00:46:56.679 yeah hold on everybody sit the fuck down i got 00:46:56.679 --> 00:46:59.659 five minutes of your time all right we'll see 00:46:59.659 --> 00:47:02.019 y 'all later we've we've talked to uh you've 00:47:02.019 --> 00:47:04.239 mentioned like white savior movies and uh oh 00:47:04.239 --> 00:47:07.820 yeah all this uh do you do any of you have a 00:47:07.820 --> 00:47:13.719 favorite white savior film uh jesus and the technical 00:47:13.719 --> 00:47:20.570 dream coat I think Jesus. God damn it. No. Who 00:47:20.570 --> 00:47:24.789 had the Technicolor Dreamcoat? Joseph. Joseph. 00:47:24.889 --> 00:47:28.610 God damn it. Jesus Christ was a superstar. He 00:47:28.610 --> 00:47:31.489 was. That's what I was thinking of. I think Littlefoot 00:47:31.489 --> 00:47:34.590 from Land Before Time. They're remaking Littlefoot. 00:47:34.630 --> 00:47:37.110 Did you see that? There's a Littlefoot comeback. 00:47:37.570 --> 00:47:41.090 Oh, my gosh. Get ready for that. There we go. 00:47:41.269 --> 00:47:44.590 Is it? Is it going to be animated or CGI? I think 00:47:44.590 --> 00:47:49.050 it was live action. Yeah, it's full Jurassic 00:47:49.050 --> 00:47:51.630 Park. We're bringing back real dinosaurs and 00:47:51.630 --> 00:47:55.349 we're teaching them to eat. What was it? Three 00:47:55.349 --> 00:47:59.909 leaf? Yeah, I don't know. Five leaf. Five points. 00:48:00.150 --> 00:48:02.510 I probably will. I can't think off the top of 00:48:02.510 --> 00:48:05.130 my head, but I know a film that I watched. If 00:48:05.130 --> 00:48:07.070 it comes on like it's the kind of movie where 00:48:07.070 --> 00:48:09.989 if it comes on TBS, I'll probably like. put it 00:48:09.989 --> 00:48:12.929 on and do other stuff and that is the most iconic 00:48:12.929 --> 00:48:15.889 one last samurai oh yeah it's very iconic it's 00:48:15.889 --> 00:48:19.050 not i mean it's not like a bad movie really yeah 00:48:19.050 --> 00:48:22.030 but it is a it is a white savior movie there 00:48:22.030 --> 00:48:24.929 are some good ones it's wild that tom cruise 00:48:24.929 --> 00:48:30.269 is the last samurai but well i mean he's the 00:48:30.269 --> 00:48:31.849 only one that would fit into their armor he's 00:48:31.849 --> 00:48:37.239 so short Yeah, there was also Dances with Wolves. 00:48:37.260 --> 00:48:39.940 Dances with Wolves was a great one. I'm going 00:48:39.940 --> 00:48:44.420 to go with White Chicks, the Wayans movie. It 00:48:44.420 --> 00:48:46.840 was the whiteness that saved them in the end. 00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:49.320 I'm pretty sure. I've never watched it, but I've 00:48:49.320 --> 00:48:51.199 seen it. Oh, you've never watched it? No. Should 00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:54.659 I? You can find out how Terry Crews eats pussy 00:48:54.659 --> 00:48:56.820 in that movie. Also, I'm pretty sure there's 00:48:56.820 --> 00:48:59.400 a White Chicks 2. How have I gotten? I'm 41. 00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:03.019 How have I not learned? how Terry Crews eats 00:49:03.019 --> 00:49:06.139 pussy at this point in my life. Definitely. Definitely. 00:49:06.519 --> 00:49:08.440 It's worth a watch. So I'm going to go home. 00:49:08.500 --> 00:49:09.880 I'm going to watch that and I'm going to watch 00:49:09.880 --> 00:49:12.840 sideways because we're not having any fucking 00:49:12.840 --> 00:49:15.760 Merlot. And you can also see MC Ganey's dick. 00:49:15.900 --> 00:49:19.360 Yeah, well, yeah. Oh, man, I just Pete and I 00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:22.059 were talking about this earlier today and I realized 00:49:22.059 --> 00:49:24.039 MC Ganey was in that movie, too. He's great. 00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:26.019 Yeah. I mean, mostly it's just you see him run 00:49:26.019 --> 00:49:29.360 around naked. Perfect. Yeah. Love it. All right. 00:49:29.579 --> 00:49:32.210 Thanks for listening, everybody. Thanks for having 00:49:32.210 --> 00:49:33.809 me. Yeah. Thanks, Kyle. This is great to have 00:49:33.809 --> 00:49:36.030 you. I am glad you got to join for this movie. 00:49:36.110 --> 00:49:38.769 Oh, yeah. I love I love I love a good Asian movie. 00:49:38.929 --> 00:49:42.030 Yeah. All right. Thank you to our sparkle buddies, 00:49:42.190 --> 00:49:44.610 Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart and Willow 00:49:44.610 --> 00:49:46.510 and to our cage dancers, John Freeman, Nathan 00:49:46.510 --> 00:49:48.789 and Cameron. And of course, to Bill Panks for 00:49:48.789 --> 00:49:51.389 our intro music. And thank you all for listening. 00:49:51.530 --> 00:49:55.329 And we will see you next time for Snowden. Mm 00:49:55.329 --> 00:50:00.579 hmm. a romp a real romp a real laugh riot uh 00:50:00.579 --> 00:50:03.380 it's a rom -com right yeah exactly snowden rom 00:50:03.380 --> 00:50:06.840 -com who's who plays snowden uh joseph gordon 00:50:06.840 --> 00:50:10.139 levin what what is what is nicholas cage's role 00:50:10.139 --> 00:50:12.579 i don't know it's he's like a dude a white savior 00:50:12.579 --> 00:50:16.000 he's a white he's a white skater we'll find out 00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:26.340 come back next time all right goodbye Bye. Bye. 00:50:30.420 --> 00:50:32.300 I'm glad that you're no longer a Chiefs fan. 00:50:32.360 --> 00:50:34.079 That's right. Now I'm a full Raiders fan. Full 00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:36.639 on Raiders fan. You're a Raiders fan? Yeah. Yeah. 00:50:36.639 --> 00:50:39.239 No, he's he's jumped ship. He's he's joined the 00:50:39.239 --> 00:50:40.820 dark side. I mean, I've already gotten to the 00:50:40.820 --> 00:50:43.000 peak of the mountain with my team. So like now 00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:44.559 I can just start at the bottom again with somebody 00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:46.579 else. And then. No, it's good. You can invest 00:50:46.579 --> 00:50:48.699 another 20, 30 years before the Raiders hit the 00:50:48.699 --> 00:50:53.099 Super Bowl. Good. Then I'll be dead. Yeah. We 00:50:53.099 --> 00:50:53.699 can all hope.