WEBVTT 00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:23.420 Oh God. I would not have, I would not have done 00:00:23.420 --> 00:00:26.920 well in Virginia during the pandemic. I mean, 00:00:26.940 --> 00:00:28.460 everything would have been business as normal, 00:00:28.519 --> 00:00:32.340 right? I don't know. I'd probably start dating 00:00:32.340 --> 00:00:36.240 Krishna again if I was stuck there for that time. 00:00:36.659 --> 00:00:39.259 Dating Krishna? Did you ever date a Hare Krishna? 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:43.079 No, I dated a girl named Krishna. So you are 00:00:43.079 --> 00:00:46.619 a Hare Krishna? You hand out bracelets at the 00:00:46.619 --> 00:00:49.679 airport? Most of what I know about Hare Krishna 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.939 is it's just from the movie Airplane. Yeah, that's 00:00:52.939 --> 00:00:58.060 about right. Which is what I, you know, base 00:00:58.060 --> 00:01:01.340 most of my airport interactions on anyways. Yeah, 00:01:01.380 --> 00:01:05.219 it's that and Hayden, you know. Hayden's a Hare 00:01:05.219 --> 00:01:09.319 Krishna? Yep. Why not? He is now. He's the Hare 00:01:09.319 --> 00:01:11.980 Krishna of the sky. Yeah. He gets you locked 00:01:11.980 --> 00:01:14.180 into that fuselage and then he's like, all right, 00:01:14.180 --> 00:01:16.000 everybody, who would like to buy my sports bracelets? 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:20.099 Are those for sale? I thought they just gave 00:01:20.099 --> 00:01:23.700 them away. I mean, there's a sole price. Yeah. 00:01:24.099 --> 00:01:26.700 The hardest price to pay. I thought those things 00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:29.120 were like a scam. Like they get it on you and 00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:32.159 then they like work you for donations. It's like 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:34.840 when somebody hands you a CD on the street. Right. 00:01:34.939 --> 00:01:37.519 It's like, oh, check out my music. Oh, it's going 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:40.280 to be $5. Oh, you can't take it. No take backsies. 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:42.200 No take backsies. It's like, motherfucker, I'm 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:44.620 just leaving. Slap. I'm just tossing it in the 00:01:44.620 --> 00:01:45.920 street. What are you going to do? Are you going 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:48.099 to assault me over it? Yeah, right. Who has a 00:01:48.099 --> 00:01:52.700 CD player? I mean. Fair. I don't think even my 00:01:52.700 --> 00:01:56.590 car has one. Does it? Maybe. It should. It's 00:01:56.590 --> 00:01:59.209 like a 2018. That's like ancient technology. 00:01:59.629 --> 00:02:05.769 No, I still have one. I saw the best bumper sticker 00:02:05.769 --> 00:02:08.169 ever and I need to steal it for my car. It just 00:02:08.169 --> 00:02:12.789 says this car cost me $830. I'm broke. I'll take 00:02:12.789 --> 00:02:18.650 us both down. Considering I bought that car for 00:02:18.650 --> 00:02:23.050 $800, seems appropriate. My greatest sale ever. 00:02:24.370 --> 00:02:27.210 I was cleaning out the pictures and stuff on 00:02:27.210 --> 00:02:30.370 my phone. I did not haggle at all. I found one 00:02:30.370 --> 00:02:32.370 picture of a bumper sticker that I really liked 00:02:32.370 --> 00:02:34.590 back in the day that just said, no kids, just 00:02:34.590 --> 00:02:41.009 fuck my shit up. Yeah. Nice. I did see a bumper 00:02:41.009 --> 00:02:43.689 sticker once that I had to take a photo of and 00:02:43.689 --> 00:02:47.409 send to Lombardo and all it said was, stop honking 00:02:47.409 --> 00:02:52.460 at me, my dad's dead. Nice. Well, speaking of 00:02:52.460 --> 00:02:55.340 cataclysmic world -ending events, The Croods. 00:02:55.340 --> 00:02:57.360 I'm glad one of us got there. Welcome back to 00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:58.780 Cage Match, colon, a roundabout way of meeting 00:02:58.780 --> 00:03:01.439 Nicolas Cage. I'm Sean, here with my co -host. 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:05.860 Nick. And our producer. You were having a great 00:03:05.860 --> 00:03:10.020 time until you started this. Peter, hello. And 00:03:10.020 --> 00:03:12.960 today, we're talking about the animated masterpiece, 00:03:13.259 --> 00:03:16.340 The Croods. There's going to be a lot. This is 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:18.199 one of those times where like rarely I've ever 00:03:18.199 --> 00:03:20.680 thought I wish that people could watch us while 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.979 we do an episode. But seeing Nick's face reactions 00:03:23.979 --> 00:03:28.240 is it's pretty choice. I was really considering 00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:31.419 just bringing whiskey tonight. Oh, man, that 00:03:31.419 --> 00:03:33.159 would have been a vibe. It would have changed 00:03:33.159 --> 00:03:36.080 everything. Yeah, we've gotten real fighty about 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.740 halfway through. Yeah, I do get kind of aggressive 00:03:38.740 --> 00:03:42.780 with whiskey. That's fine, though. I bet Cora 00:03:42.780 --> 00:03:45.699 would fight you. Oh, absolutely. Oh, man. If 00:03:45.699 --> 00:03:49.159 I had shared my ice cream sandwich and maybe 00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:52.159 a sip of my whiskey, just a little nip. Just 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:54.400 a touch. That probably would have been best. 00:03:54.439 --> 00:03:56.280 You would have gone right straight to sleep. 00:03:56.340 --> 00:04:01.780 Yeah. OK, so we watched Croods. No, we were having 00:04:01.780 --> 00:04:04.879 fun talking about Croods again. I successfully 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:08.180 deviated. Is this what this episode is going 00:04:08.180 --> 00:04:10.379 to be? It's going to be a lot of that. I still 00:04:10.379 --> 00:04:12.360 have the problem with like if I ever get like 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.479 a tiny paper cup of like mouthwash or anything 00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:17.920 from the dentist, I instinctively just neck it. 00:04:18.579 --> 00:04:23.420 I've accidentally drank so much mouthwash. Oh, 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.699 thanks. I always end up just kind of folding 00:04:26.699 --> 00:04:30.139 the cup up and putting it in my pocket just in 00:04:30.139 --> 00:04:32.720 case I need to do like a Wayne's World moment. 00:04:32.899 --> 00:04:35.360 Oh, nice. Yeah. You never know. Yeah, it's true. 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:39.769 It could happen. It could happen to you. That's 00:04:39.769 --> 00:04:41.750 a Nicolas Cage movie. It is. We could talk about 00:04:41.750 --> 00:04:43.670 that one. We could. Another movie you didn't 00:04:43.670 --> 00:04:49.649 like. We're talking about 2013? 2009? 2013. The 00:04:49.649 --> 00:04:53.389 Croods. So we did this out of order, though, 00:04:53.449 --> 00:04:56.370 because we did Croods 2 or Croods New Age or 00:04:56.370 --> 00:04:57.629 whatever the fuck it was called. Yeah, why did 00:04:57.629 --> 00:04:59.470 we do Croods 2 first? What were we doing with 00:04:59.470 --> 00:05:02.329 that? I can't remember. I think it was because 00:05:02.329 --> 00:05:06.000 it was our season one intermission. We just picked 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:09.439 random movies, and for whatever reason, we decided 00:05:09.439 --> 00:05:12.800 it was funnier to do the second one first. It's 00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:15.100 not like there's an immense amount of Croods 00:05:15.100 --> 00:05:17.160 lore that we needed to know going into the second 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:19.660 one. No. And it did give us a pretty strong recap 00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:22.060 of the first one. It sure did. And arguably better 00:05:22.060 --> 00:05:25.540 animation. Yeah, they both look kind of like 00:05:25.540 --> 00:05:30.519 shit, but... I like the 2D animation. Oh, that 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:32.199 part's good. No, I like that part. The 2D parts 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:35.579 are fun. Yeah. the 3d looks like dreamworks yeah 00:05:35.579 --> 00:05:38.139 it looks like dreamworks and that's i will say 00:05:38.139 --> 00:05:41.519 it sucks to look at it's one of their for dreamworks 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:45.079 it is one of their better animated films like 00:05:45.079 --> 00:05:47.879 none of their stuff looks great like shrek has 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:51.339 always looked like dog shit and yeah oh i was 00:05:51.339 --> 00:05:54.160 going back through a list of like all the dreamworks 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.819 like animation films it's rough and it's like 00:05:56.819 --> 00:05:59.079 there are maybe i think they were like two that 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.899 i was like oh okay i like that like i enjoyed 00:06:02.620 --> 00:06:04.879 How to Train Your Dragon. Yep. Great. Yeah. Same 00:06:04.879 --> 00:06:07.480 director as the Croods. Yeah. Yep. I don't know 00:06:07.480 --> 00:06:10.439 how. Well, I mean, directors can't change writing. 00:06:10.779 --> 00:06:13.300 No, it's true. But they also wrote the movie 00:06:13.300 --> 00:06:16.740 and he wrote both movies. He did. Yeah. What 00:06:16.740 --> 00:06:18.839 a fucking idiot. He didn't direct the second 00:06:18.839 --> 00:06:23.819 one. He was also the voice of Belt. Oh, my favorite 00:06:23.819 --> 00:06:30.389 character. Yeah, that's probably. Nope. douglas 00:06:30.389 --> 00:06:32.310 is douglas is your favorite i was gonna say if 00:06:32.310 --> 00:06:34.709 i had to pick a character for you to be a favorite 00:06:34.709 --> 00:06:37.529 douglas yeah douglas big douglas guy over here 00:06:37.529 --> 00:06:41.430 that's my son's dog okay let's talk about the 00:06:41.430 --> 00:06:42.709 critters just for a minute we'll get into the 00:06:42.709 --> 00:06:44.209 plot line and everything because whatever it 00:06:44.209 --> 00:06:46.430 doesn't really matter that much but the critters 00:06:46.430 --> 00:06:49.569 i think in this are pretty good and when we jumped 00:06:49.569 --> 00:06:52.750 into crudes 2 it was like way overplayed that 00:06:52.750 --> 00:06:54.750 it's going to be weird creatures because obviously 00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:58.220 they had set the precedent from crudes 1 which 00:06:58.220 --> 00:07:01.319 gets you, you know, like all the craziness of 00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:03.800 like the 50 different types of punch monkeys. 00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:06.720 I appreciate that they didn't try to justify 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:09.100 or explain anything in this movie. Right. It's 00:07:09.100 --> 00:07:11.339 like, here's a weird piranha bird. Here's a whale 00:07:11.339 --> 00:07:14.560 that walks on land. Yeah. I don't know. I loved 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:16.279 the piranha birds because I liked how they're 00:07:16.279 --> 00:07:18.560 like beaks opened in like what the middle of 00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:20.600 their face rather than like at the point. Yeah, 00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:25.860 totally. The creature design in this movie is 00:07:25.860 --> 00:07:30.019 awesome. so like douglas is a dog alligator yeah 00:07:30.019 --> 00:07:34.360 well i thought he was like he had like skunk 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:37.100 stripes and like skunk tail yeah and alligator 00:07:37.100 --> 00:07:42.420 mouth it doesn't matter it doesn't matter none 00:07:42.420 --> 00:07:45.800 of it matters i did really like douglas being 00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:48.100 introduced he's like a dog he's behaving like 00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:50.240 a dog even though he's a weird critter and then 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:56.040 um thunk falls out of a very tall tree has him 00:07:56.040 --> 00:08:00.399 roll off of a cliff yeah he's just like oh shit 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:04.019 douglas top two favorite moments from the movie 00:08:04.019 --> 00:08:08.160 was just douglas rolling off and then like okay 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:12.060 i was like oh they killed a dog wow just disappeared 00:08:12.060 --> 00:08:16.000 was it no remorse no like mention of him nope 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.019 uh like until the last like five minutes of the 00:08:19.019 --> 00:08:20.160 movie and then he shows up and he gets saved 00:08:20.569 --> 00:08:22.189 And then I think he's in the second movie, but 00:08:22.189 --> 00:08:25.189 I don't think he mattered. Yeah, him and the 00:08:25.189 --> 00:08:27.569 cat are just around in the second movie. Nothing 00:08:27.569 --> 00:08:29.990 matters. None of it matters. We're all going 00:08:29.990 --> 00:08:32.110 to die and this thing happened in our lives. 00:08:34.279 --> 00:08:36.559 It's weird that the Croods are the thing that's 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:40.720 making you existentially express yourself. We 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:43.480 have watched such worse movies. Is this what 00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:45.600 happened to Hornback? Like Hornback watched the 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:48.500 Croods one day and then this is what we got from 00:08:48.500 --> 00:08:52.000 him? Yeah. What is the point of life? Oh my goodness. 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:55.559 We're all just fucking bags of meat that are 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:59.299 going to rot. Slowly rot. Yeah. I wish I could 00:08:59.299 --> 00:09:03.269 rot faster. All -star cast. We got Nicolas Cage 00:09:03.269 --> 00:09:06.730 as Grug. Ryan Reynolds as Guy. Emma Stone as 00:09:06.730 --> 00:09:10.169 Eep. Catherine Keener as Ugga. Cloris Leachman 00:09:10.169 --> 00:09:12.669 as Gran. Clark Duke as Thunk. And I'm going to 00:09:12.669 --> 00:09:14.309 ask what I asked last time. What the fuck ever 00:09:14.309 --> 00:09:17.769 happened to Clark Duke? I don't know. I mean, 00:09:17.769 --> 00:09:20.090 he's one of those people that just like always 00:09:20.090 --> 00:09:24.470 looks like a boy, even though he's like our age. 00:09:25.289 --> 00:09:28.210 Oh, is that the Hot Tub Time Machine kid? Yeah. 00:09:29.929 --> 00:09:33.049 uh chris sanders who is the writer director is 00:09:33.049 --> 00:09:37.590 belt yeah and that's the entire cast i mean yeah 00:09:37.590 --> 00:09:39.169 i guess for this one you really don't have anybody 00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:42.149 else yeah no because we got we got we got the 00:09:42.149 --> 00:09:44.190 dinkster in the second one yeah that's right 00:09:44.190 --> 00:09:48.049 the dinkster dinklage yeah oh yeah okay yeah 00:09:48.049 --> 00:09:52.809 he was the dad or whatever yeah guy's dad guy's 00:09:52.809 --> 00:09:55.450 dad's friend yeah that's right it was his friend 00:09:55.450 --> 00:09:58.159 because his Guy's parents drowned in the... Tar. 00:09:58.340 --> 00:10:01.580 Yeah. Okay. See, I got confused because I hate 00:10:01.580 --> 00:10:05.539 both movies. And so plot was irrelevant to me. 00:10:05.659 --> 00:10:09.500 Okay, so wait. The plot of this film is Nicolas 00:10:09.500 --> 00:10:13.039 Cage's... The plot's just Pangea. Kind of, yeah. 00:10:13.419 --> 00:10:17.320 Pangea past. It's like everything's like splitting 00:10:17.320 --> 00:10:21.220 apart and Guy foretells it because he listens 00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:26.350 to the floor with a shell or something. And then 00:10:26.350 --> 00:10:29.389 he's like, we got to go to high ground, which 00:10:29.389 --> 00:10:32.450 turns out didn't help. No, that was not great. 00:10:33.490 --> 00:10:37.590 If not for caveman strength. Yeah. And Nicolas 00:10:37.590 --> 00:10:40.269 Cage doesn't like doing things because it's going 00:10:40.269 --> 00:10:44.850 to kill you. And his daughter has a cave lady 00:10:44.850 --> 00:10:48.929 bone, cave lady boner, cave girl boner. I don't 00:10:48.929 --> 00:10:50.669 want to get too caught up on what kind of boner. 00:10:50.669 --> 00:10:54.129 She likes a big brain. Yeah. And he's like fully 00:10:54.129 --> 00:10:58.480 formed. feet and hands and like not right or 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:02.340 like not wrong sized head right so guy is a human 00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:08.279 and everybody else is kvs i do like that he's 00:11:08.279 --> 00:11:14.919 got a slur for them kvs i'm gonna start calling 00:11:14.919 --> 00:11:18.059 who in our group is a kv who's the most kv person 00:11:18.059 --> 00:11:24.480 yeah oh man adam adam's probably a kv Adam's 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:29.399 a cavey. Sorry, Adam. Yeah. Yeah. I do appreciate 00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:35.720 any Nicolas Cage led movie where his first utterance 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:39.940 is just going full Nick Cage. No words, just 00:11:39.940 --> 00:11:44.080 yelling for a solid like 30 seconds. Like that's 00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:46.840 like Ugg's first scene coming out of the cave 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:51.179 is like it makes it makes 100%. Are you calling 00:11:51.179 --> 00:11:55.389 it Ugg? Yeah, Grug. Yeah, it's Grug. Grug. Doesn't 00:11:55.389 --> 00:11:58.370 matter. Grug, dude. Well, you're also mixing 00:11:58.370 --> 00:12:02.049 it up with his wife, Ugga. Ugga, yeah. So, Grug. 00:12:02.090 --> 00:12:04.309 But, like, it 100 % makes sense why you'd cast 00:12:04.309 --> 00:12:06.629 Nicolas Cage for this role if that's the energy 00:12:06.629 --> 00:12:09.509 you're starting with. I did kind of like how 00:12:09.509 --> 00:12:11.330 it started out like that, and then, you know, 00:12:11.350 --> 00:12:13.309 they're, like, doing their hunt to get some food, 00:12:13.389 --> 00:12:15.570 and it's, like, release the baby, and that thing's 00:12:15.570 --> 00:12:18.190 a maniac. Yeah. And then, in the second one, 00:12:18.210 --> 00:12:19.830 they have that horrible scene where they get 00:12:19.830 --> 00:12:23.090 into the, like, oasis and they're just like shoving 00:12:23.090 --> 00:12:25.769 their gobs oh yeah they're just fucking yeah 00:12:25.769 --> 00:12:29.429 and this one it kind of had a similar vibe where 00:12:29.429 --> 00:12:32.409 they get that egg and they're just like hot sucking 00:12:32.409 --> 00:12:37.830 raw egg out of it like they finally experienced 00:12:37.830 --> 00:12:41.870 cooked meat oh yeah they ate like what's leftovers 00:12:41.870 --> 00:12:46.950 when you have leftover gran just like eating 00:12:46.950 --> 00:12:51.960 her way out of the giant bird yeah okay least 00:12:51.960 --> 00:12:55.539 favorite character uh this should be easy uh 00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:59.440 well i mean easy to figure out because there's 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:03.580 only like six characters yeah um they're all 00:13:03.580 --> 00:13:07.940 golden perfect cast okay so my least favorite 00:13:07.940 --> 00:13:10.559 character is ugga boring doesn't do anything 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:12.679 yeah yeah ugga doesn't really do anything in 00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:15.080 this movie yeah like she gets more to do in the 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.779 second one but yeah she's just sort of like there 00:13:17.779 --> 00:13:22.360 i would say yeah is it gonna be the daughter 00:13:22.360 --> 00:13:25.340 i think it's the daughter the baby no no maybe 00:13:25.340 --> 00:13:30.460 he's fine yeah sure okay why i don't know something 00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:33.500 about fucking teenage girls annoys me so goddamn 00:13:33.500 --> 00:13:39.980 much sean least favorite no i think i'll go just 00:13:39.980 --> 00:13:42.019 because yeah she doesn't really do anything through 00:13:42.019 --> 00:13:45.059 the in the movie uh chloris leachman's got some 00:13:45.059 --> 00:13:48.100 great line reads and is a lot of fun I mean, 00:13:48.100 --> 00:13:50.220 she's been good at being an old lady for a long 00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:54.080 time. Lots of practice. Yeah. Yeah. I just this 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:58.139 I don't understand DreamWorks is reasoning for 00:13:58.139 --> 00:14:00.679 getting cast like this. Like, it doesn't matter 00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:04.139 who it is. I can only assume the reason they 00:14:04.139 --> 00:14:07.580 get like a Nicolas Cage or Ryan Reynolds is because 00:14:07.580 --> 00:14:10.340 they know they can get more money from producers 00:14:10.340 --> 00:14:12.740 out of it by having big names. But I think it's 00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:15.539 just to make things tolerable for the adults. 00:14:16.059 --> 00:14:18.820 Like. Are you going to take your kid to go see 00:14:18.820 --> 00:14:21.899 a DreamWorks movie with nobody you know in it? 00:14:21.940 --> 00:14:26.360 Or a DreamWorks movie that at least has a full 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:29.860 A -list cast? It doesn't matter. They're not 00:14:29.860 --> 00:14:32.019 voice actors. Most of the DreamWorks movies, 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.720 the voice acting isn't great because they just 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:39.779 hire A - and B -list actors. True. But to be 00:14:39.779 --> 00:14:42.399 fair, the only reason we watched this movie is 00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:45.779 because of the cast. The A -list cast. Yeah, 00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:49.620 A -list casting. We don't count. We're doing 00:14:49.620 --> 00:14:52.100 a fucking dumb thing. We shouldn't count. All 00:14:52.100 --> 00:14:54.419 right, fine. Second least favorite character 00:14:54.419 --> 00:14:59.460 in the film. Rank them. I'm going to say Thunk. 00:15:01.139 --> 00:15:04.519 Thunk? Thunk, that little fuck. Thunk doesn't 00:15:04.519 --> 00:15:06.539 do a lot either. I was going to say, this is 00:15:06.539 --> 00:15:11.559 one of the few non -Deadpool movies where I don't 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:15.409 hate Ryan Reynolds. Sure. Yeah, he's fine. I 00:15:15.409 --> 00:15:19.090 mean, he is sort of an uppity bitch, but... Yeah, 00:15:19.169 --> 00:15:21.429 he's still just Ryan Reynolds. Why does he have 00:15:21.429 --> 00:15:25.210 the weird shoes? Because he's learned to survive. 00:15:26.129 --> 00:15:29.990 You know, he's a human. He has ideas. He can 00:15:29.990 --> 00:15:32.750 think. He wears shoes so he doesn't hurt his 00:15:32.750 --> 00:15:38.159 feet on floor spikes. Right. Yeah. Okay. third 00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:41.200 least shoes let's talk about shoes yeah go ahead 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:43.840 the scene where they get the like they step on 00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:47.019 all that shit and thunks are not fucking guys 00:15:47.019 --> 00:15:50.580 like uh i guess i'll be nice and help them with 00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:53.019 like shoe stuff because they're obviously idiot 00:15:53.019 --> 00:15:59.419 cavies why okay funk fish what where do they 00:15:59.419 --> 00:16:02.200 get the fish that doesn't make sense there was 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:04.299 no river there i mean those are probably air 00:16:04.299 --> 00:16:09.440 fish air fish yeah third least favorite character 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:19.080 guy what i was gonna say despite i don't despite 00:16:19.080 --> 00:16:21.879 not understanding why they get like big name 00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:25.399 actors for these voice roles this is one of the 00:16:25.399 --> 00:16:27.759 few dreamworks films i'm like yeah no everyone 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:31.769 did a good job I mean, I agree with that. I think 00:16:31.769 --> 00:16:34.289 the voice acting in this is actually fine. I 00:16:34.289 --> 00:16:36.529 think the point that you're making and we've 00:16:36.529 --> 00:16:38.309 made a couple of times is that like there really 00:16:38.309 --> 00:16:41.529 isn't a huge amount of value. Like what parent 00:16:41.529 --> 00:16:43.750 went to this movie and was like, oh, thank God 00:16:43.750 --> 00:16:46.190 it's Nick Cage, you know? But also like what 00:16:46.190 --> 00:16:49.769 adult besides us watches this movie if not for 00:16:49.769 --> 00:16:52.289 their kids? Oh man, you know there's crude heads 00:16:52.289 --> 00:16:55.470 out there. Oh man. I mean, I'm one of them now, 00:16:55.470 --> 00:16:58.750 yes. Crudités? What would you call them? I don't 00:16:58.750 --> 00:17:02.360 even know. Crudités. Cavies. A bunch of cavies. 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:06.680 They're just cavies. Man, I love the Croods and 00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:10.039 Croods New Age. I'm a cavie. What about those 00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:14.079 eight seasons of Croods Family Ties? Is there 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:17.619 eight seasons? According to IMDb, I don't know. 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:21.519 Wow, that's too many seasons. I'm going to watch 00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:24.880 an episode just to see what off -brand Nicolas 00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:28.400 Cage sounds like. I'd be curious. I'm just looking 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:32.980 at other DreamWorks animated films on IMDb right 00:17:32.980 --> 00:17:35.960 now. We got Boss Baby with Alec Baldwin. No child 00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:39.440 wants to hear Alec Baldwin. Rio, don't know what 00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:44.019 that's about. It's Johnny Depp as a bird. Who 00:17:44.019 --> 00:17:46.160 the hell is Johnny Depp? I don't know, I think. 00:17:46.839 --> 00:17:50.640 No, that was Rango. Johnny Depp as a lizard. 00:17:50.940 --> 00:17:55.240 Was Johnny Depp still doing shit when Rio came 00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:58.359 out? I don't know. Who was in Rio? who is bird 00:17:58.359 --> 00:18:01.619 i'm looking now who's bird uh jesse eisenberg 00:18:01.619 --> 00:18:06.299 is blue his name's not even rio they're just 00:18:06.299 --> 00:18:12.920 in rio i guess we got there yeah yeah worth it 00:18:12.920 --> 00:18:15.940 we gotta get a couple dumb laughs out of this 00:18:15.940 --> 00:18:19.200 episode uh i guess there was they did the madagascar's 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:23.019 hotel transylvania which is just an adam sandler 00:18:23.019 --> 00:18:27.160 film I watched the first Hotel Transylvania the 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:31.039 night my ex -wife went into labor with my son. 00:18:31.980 --> 00:18:34.980 You were just like, hold on. I'm not finished. 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:38.160 We're going to watch this. You're going to really 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:41.740 love it. My favorite part's coming up. We watched 00:18:41.740 --> 00:18:44.880 it. You've seen this before? You've watched this 00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:50.369 more than once? Devours. You're more present 00:18:50.369 --> 00:18:53.069 for this film you've watched before. The birth 00:18:53.069 --> 00:18:55.529 of your son. Babies take a while to come out. 00:18:58.250 --> 00:19:00.670 Let's watch some delightful Adam Sandler -ing. 00:19:00.809 --> 00:19:02.250 Well, it's because they know there are no good 00:19:02.250 --> 00:19:05.349 children's films out in the world. Except for 00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:08.970 Paddington 2. And then, yeah, the Ice Age films, 00:19:09.029 --> 00:19:13.730 which again, what child wants to hear the voice 00:19:13.730 --> 00:19:17.400 of Ray Romano? I don't even know adults who want 00:19:17.400 --> 00:19:22.539 to hear the voice of Ray Romano. Exactly. Who 00:19:22.539 --> 00:19:24.559 was Ray Romano in that? Was he the elephant? 00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:30.460 Yeah, he was the mammoth. Oh, wow. Because Sid 00:19:30.460 --> 00:19:34.119 the Sloth was clown himself, right? Leguizamo? 00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:38.119 Leguizamo. Dennis Leary was the saber -toothed 00:19:38.119 --> 00:19:42.240 tiger. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Queen Latifah 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.730 is the lady mammoth in the sequels. Hot. Can 00:19:45.730 --> 00:19:51.849 you imagine Ray Romano and Queen Latifah just 00:19:51.849 --> 00:19:55.509 out on a blind date? What would they talk about? 00:19:55.930 --> 00:19:59.569 Oh, my God. Anything but the Croods, I bet. Probably. 00:20:02.309 --> 00:20:05.230 Fourth least favorite character in the movie. 00:20:06.690 --> 00:20:11.269 Did we already say the baby? Nobody said the 00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:14.980 baby yet. I genuinely enjoy this film. It was 00:20:14.980 --> 00:20:18.119 a fun watch. There's good, like, humor and, like, 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:21.680 physical animated comedy. I really like the joke 00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:25.119 about the snapshot. Yo, that was pretty good. 00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:28.400 Where he, like, paints up Thunk's face and, like, 00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:31.559 smacks him with, like, a piece of slate to, you 00:20:31.559 --> 00:20:33.579 know, get an instant photo of him or an instant 00:20:33.579 --> 00:20:35.019 picture. I did kind of like that. I mean, that 00:20:35.019 --> 00:20:37.059 one paid off in the end when they did the family 00:20:37.059 --> 00:20:41.759 photo. Yeah. So, Ugga. Ugga's my fourth least 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:45.150 favorite. I liked the way that they moved, actually. 00:20:45.289 --> 00:20:47.690 The cavies, that is. I thought that was pretty 00:20:47.690 --> 00:20:52.170 well done. They had like a good eep -like shamble. 00:20:52.309 --> 00:20:57.589 I love it. Okay, what's one thing that you liked 00:20:57.589 --> 00:21:00.630 about this movie? I liked... Other than the ending, 00:21:00.829 --> 00:21:04.730 because it was over. I liked the way Grug... 00:21:07.339 --> 00:21:09.960 Had that sinister smile when he thought the grandma 00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:13.440 was going to die near the end or whatever. Yeah, 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:18.539 every time they did a head count and he always 00:21:18.539 --> 00:21:20.119 was happy because he thought grandma was dead 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:25.140 and then she shows up. Six. And when Douglas 00:21:25.140 --> 00:21:27.500 rolled off the thing. That was funny. That was 00:21:27.500 --> 00:21:32.680 legitimately funny. That's it. Plot line, there's 00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:35.430 really not much. Cataclysm. Getting away from 00:21:35.430 --> 00:21:37.990 a cataclysm. They're just trying to run away 00:21:37.990 --> 00:21:42.150 from the continental divide or whatever. Right. 00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:47.230 The splitting up of the continents. Greg believes 00:21:47.230 --> 00:21:51.750 the only way to survive is to not ever take any 00:21:51.750 --> 00:21:54.670 risks, to stay in the cave. New things are bad. 00:21:55.930 --> 00:22:00.529 Yeah. But, you know, they're the only ones left, 00:22:00.630 --> 00:22:02.930 so he's doing something right up until, you know. 00:22:03.849 --> 00:22:06.390 human shows up world changes you know brings 00:22:06.390 --> 00:22:09.890 fire and everything falls apart and they're forced 00:22:09.890 --> 00:22:13.450 to like go on an adventure to you know save themselves 00:22:13.450 --> 00:22:17.009 he wants to still prove he's the man of the tribe 00:22:17.009 --> 00:22:21.150 but you know new bigger ideas come around scare 00:22:21.150 --> 00:22:23.269 him and everyone like turns their back on uh 00:22:23.269 --> 00:22:26.589 turns their back on grug bad family i don't know 00:22:26.589 --> 00:22:30.529 he had some pretty looking antiquated opinions 00:22:30.529 --> 00:22:36.710 on things Hmm. Why is it in the second film they 00:22:36.710 --> 00:22:39.650 all look around like they've never seen food 00:22:39.650 --> 00:22:42.910 before when clearly on numerous occasions they 00:22:42.910 --> 00:22:46.630 go to pretty verdant areas? Yeah, I was wondering 00:22:46.630 --> 00:22:48.569 and I can't remember and I'm not going to rewatch 00:22:48.569 --> 00:22:52.730 that movie. You want to know the answer? It's 00:22:52.730 --> 00:22:55.869 a kid's movie. Yeah. But like, so what happened? 00:22:55.910 --> 00:22:57.490 So obviously at the end of this one, they're 00:22:57.490 --> 00:23:00.089 like riding around on all their critters and, 00:23:00.150 --> 00:23:03.029 you know, having a grand old time and. They get 00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:07.529 to the coast. Food is aplenty. What happened 00:23:07.529 --> 00:23:12.269 after that? Why did it get shitty? Or was it 00:23:12.269 --> 00:23:16.470 just that guy wanted to go figure out his parents' 00:23:16.609 --> 00:23:19.789 friend's location or something? No, they just 00:23:19.789 --> 00:23:23.470 stumbled across it. I think it was accidental. 00:23:24.009 --> 00:23:25.750 It was like, I don't know, another cataclysm. 00:23:26.569 --> 00:23:29.470 Who cares? No, they were running away from a 00:23:29.470 --> 00:23:33.920 T -Rex or something. an off -brand t -rex exactly 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:37.640 an off -brand t -rex the t -rex fused with i 00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:42.460 don't know yes it's like here's this bracelet 00:23:42.460 --> 00:23:45.359 take this bracelet or i'll eat you oh you took 00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:48.480 it now i gotta eat you it's transactional in 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:51.039 terms of the nick cage of it all both these films 00:23:51.039 --> 00:23:55.000 in terms of his voice acting career are two are 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:58.250 decent performances like he really He really 00:23:58.250 --> 00:24:00.250 gives it his all in this as opposed to like the 00:24:00.250 --> 00:24:02.829 ant bully where you can tell how just bored he 00:24:02.829 --> 00:24:05.890 is the entire time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even 00:24:05.890 --> 00:24:07.910 in like I said last time, even in like Spider 00:24:07.910 --> 00:24:10.650 -Verse, he's like so muffled and like just which 00:24:10.650 --> 00:24:12.829 is like partially the character. But I'm kind 00:24:12.829 --> 00:24:14.789 of curious to see. We don't have that many more 00:24:14.789 --> 00:24:18.690 Nick Cage voice performances. We've got like 00:24:18.690 --> 00:24:22.829 Teen Titans go to the movies and maybe one other. 00:24:23.170 --> 00:24:24.869 Oh, yeah, that's right. He's Superman in that. 00:24:24.970 --> 00:24:28.349 Yeah. Do you think? Nick Cage's performance in 00:24:28.349 --> 00:24:34.029 Spider -Man was muffled, as you said, because 00:24:34.029 --> 00:24:39.269 he's so meta. He came dressed in a mask. I asked 00:24:39.269 --> 00:24:42.690 that last time, yes. I think 100 % he wore a 00:24:42.690 --> 00:24:45.650 mask. Okay, great. And they're like, I mean, 00:24:45.670 --> 00:24:47.329 it's Nick Cage. He's a method actor, I guess. 00:24:47.430 --> 00:24:50.089 Let him do his thing. Yeah, sure. Put that mask 00:24:50.089 --> 00:24:52.589 on. It's the only way you're going to get that 00:24:52.589 --> 00:24:55.430 performance. I wonder if his mask just had his 00:24:55.430 --> 00:25:00.789 own face on it. Did we ever confirm whether or 00:25:00.789 --> 00:25:02.470 not in Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance, like 00:25:02.470 --> 00:25:05.410 we read online that he like showed up with like 00:25:05.410 --> 00:25:09.170 skull face pin on to the set. Did we ever like 00:25:09.170 --> 00:25:13.049 confirm that? No. I stated it as a fact because 00:25:13.049 --> 00:25:15.269 I want it to be true. Are you asking if we had 00:25:15.269 --> 00:25:19.950 a follow through on something? Yeah. I don't 00:25:19.950 --> 00:25:22.029 remember if we ever followed up on that. I don't 00:25:22.029 --> 00:25:25.640 think he. did but definitely did not i will say 00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:27.700 in terms of follow -through four years later 00:25:27.700 --> 00:25:33.180 and the crudes so uh i did have there is a there 00:25:33.180 --> 00:25:35.779 is a quote in this film that i did love uh which 00:25:35.779 --> 00:25:39.920 is when uh grug is chasing guy around um kind 00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:42.319 of like finally had his full fill right before 00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:45.359 they get in the tar and guy is trying to like 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:47.960 talk the kids down and grug just goes you know 00:25:47.960 --> 00:25:52.180 big words make me mad keep talking That is actually 00:25:52.180 --> 00:25:54.740 pretty good. The only quote that stuck out to 00:25:54.740 --> 00:25:58.640 me was Thunk got hit in the face at one point. 00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.240 He goes, ow, my sniffer. I don't know why I liked 00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:06.180 that, but I just it got me. And then, you know, 00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:08.839 we had the origin of the punch monkeys. I did 00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:12.440 like that. Nick didn't. I'm glad they didn't 00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:15.319 acknowledge them and they were just like viewed 00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:18.240 once. That's the first time they ever met a punch 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.180 monkey. Should have been the last. What did you 00:26:21.180 --> 00:26:23.720 guys think of the sexy saber -toothed cat cosplay 00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:26.819 that they had to do to get out of the tar? Alright, 00:26:26.900 --> 00:26:30.779 the puppet work I found pretty hilarious. I like 00:26:30.779 --> 00:26:33.740 that Belt was just playing the ribcage as like 00:26:33.740 --> 00:26:37.079 a xylophone. Yeah. That's a classic. Yeah, ribcage 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:43.039 xylophone's a pretty choice. Did Ugga go back 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:47.630 to having like shitty hair in the sequel? I cared 00:26:47.630 --> 00:26:49.730 so little. I couldn't even remember what her 00:26:49.730 --> 00:26:52.710 hair looked like prior to that scene. It's just 00:26:52.710 --> 00:26:54.890 like, oh, they framed this in such a way. It's 00:26:54.890 --> 00:26:57.630 like, did her hair change? I'm just going to 00:26:57.630 --> 00:26:59.490 roll with that. And then I didn't even acknowledge 00:26:59.490 --> 00:27:02.410 her hair for the rest of the film. Yeah, she's 00:27:02.410 --> 00:27:05.569 definitely my fourth least favorite character. 00:27:07.109 --> 00:27:09.690 Who's your favorite character? Well, we got to 00:27:09.690 --> 00:27:11.410 get there. Who's your fifth? Yeah, we're building 00:27:11.410 --> 00:27:16.779 up. Fifth least favorite character. The child. 00:27:17.339 --> 00:27:20.720 The baby? Yeah. Baby's my fifth least favorite. 00:27:20.920 --> 00:27:23.259 Sandy? What's her name? Sandy? Sandy. Sandy. 00:27:23.460 --> 00:27:27.460 Yeah. Okay. So wait, who's left then? Just Grug 00:27:27.460 --> 00:27:31.779 and Guy? And Gran. Oh, and Gran. Wait, that's... 00:27:31.779 --> 00:27:33.299 Did I not say Guy? I thought I said Guy already. 00:27:33.299 --> 00:27:35.039 Maybe you said Guy. So it's just Grug and Gran. 00:27:35.420 --> 00:27:39.619 Yeah. And Douglas. And Douglas, well... I don't 00:27:39.619 --> 00:27:42.380 want to tip my hand or anything, but... Nick, 00:27:42.500 --> 00:27:47.819 I found your review on IMDb. Uh -oh. Let's hear 00:27:47.819 --> 00:27:50.779 it. This movie was terrible. I was expecting 00:27:50.779 --> 00:27:53.619 a fun, clever kids movie, but instead I got a 00:27:53.619 --> 00:27:56.299 stupid, unfunny, predictable movie. Even though 00:27:56.299 --> 00:27:58.619 I only watched the first 30 minutes, it was the 00:27:58.619 --> 00:28:02.700 worst 30 minutes of my life. No, I know that's 00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:05.559 not me because they said they expected something 00:28:05.559 --> 00:28:10.930 from this. Now, you had gone into it already 00:28:10.930 --> 00:28:13.930 having seen Croods 2, so... Yes, but I still 00:28:13.930 --> 00:28:15.369 knew it was a Dreamworks movie. You knew what 00:28:15.369 --> 00:28:17.569 not to expect. That's true, it is a Dreamworks, 00:28:17.710 --> 00:28:21.410 so... Oh, wait, I forgot about all the weird 00:28:21.410 --> 00:28:23.930 Christian fundamentalists who, like, who review 00:28:23.930 --> 00:28:26.849 -bombed this film. Oh, yeah, let's just talk 00:28:26.849 --> 00:28:30.650 about that. I can't understand how any one of 00:28:30.650 --> 00:28:33.910 those people would legitimately be offended by 00:28:33.910 --> 00:28:40.380 this movie. Like, what? Because it teaches about 00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:47.339 evolution, which is an affront to God. Dipshits. 00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:51.460 So stupid. We have to share the planet with these 00:28:51.460 --> 00:28:55.819 people. Yeah. Those people get to vote. Too often. 00:28:57.000 --> 00:28:59.769 I think it should be a one and done. you get 00:28:59.769 --> 00:29:02.730 to vote once yeah i think everybody gets to vote 00:29:02.730 --> 00:29:05.329 just once you gotta really hang on to your vote 00:29:05.329 --> 00:29:11.210 yeah do i do it i don't hate this idea a lot 00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:15.230 of like really close elections with 13 votes 00:29:15.230 --> 00:29:20.970 for president i mean that's not true yeah 13 00:29:20.970 --> 00:29:24.960 votes but like 170 or whatever, 370, whatever 00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.900 the electoral bullshit. Hey, I want to talk about 00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:29.880 the electoral college. It's about time we get 00:29:29.880 --> 00:29:31.880 rid of that shit. Yeah, I like it. That's just 00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:34.200 placating slave owners and we don't need that 00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:37.559 anymore. We live in a time where fucking communication 00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:42.700 can happen instantaneously. We don't need fucking 00:29:42.700 --> 00:29:50.250 dumb fucking representation. Podcast over. Did 00:29:50.250 --> 00:29:54.390 I get it? Are we done? I think so, yeah. Sixth 00:29:54.390 --> 00:29:59.930 least favorite character. Gran. Gran, okay. I 00:29:59.930 --> 00:30:02.490 liked her in the second one a little bit more. 00:30:02.730 --> 00:30:05.309 She's good in this, though. I mean, she was fine 00:30:05.309 --> 00:30:08.589 in this, but the jokes are so forced in this 00:30:08.589 --> 00:30:12.990 movie. Yeah. Hers are no better. What's it like 00:30:12.990 --> 00:30:17.069 having no joy? You know, I'm new to this about 00:30:17.069 --> 00:30:21.190 not being a happy person, but, you know. You 00:30:21.190 --> 00:30:23.430 can embrace it. Yeah. Just talk to Hornback. 00:30:23.930 --> 00:30:27.369 That's good. Yeah. Did Belthuff a flower at one 00:30:27.369 --> 00:30:31.329 point and get high? I missed that. I feel like 00:30:31.329 --> 00:30:32.890 it was right before Douglas fell off the cliff, 00:30:33.029 --> 00:30:36.069 but... Was it a poppy flower or whatever? I don't 00:30:36.069 --> 00:30:39.109 know. I don't think I... Prehistoric poppy? Yeah. 00:30:39.170 --> 00:30:41.309 It was a cocaine poppy because everything's a 00:30:41.309 --> 00:30:44.720 hybrid in this movie. Yeah. So he was amped up 00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:50.599 and chilled out. What was your favorite weird 00:30:50.599 --> 00:30:58.140 animal, weird beast? I liked the whale with legs. 00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:04.400 Leg whale was cool. Turtle birds I enjoyed. I 00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:07.039 can safely say that the elephant mice are the 00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:10.900 cutest ones, but I don't know if they're my favorite. 00:31:11.359 --> 00:31:13.880 the you know the dnd nerd in me was like i liked 00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:16.059 the owlbear even though i know it's more cat 00:31:16.059 --> 00:31:19.880 but it's like the bird cat oh sure that's stalking 00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:24.079 them the entire time yeah yeah chunky yeah i 00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:25.380 can't remember if grant actually called it that 00:31:25.380 --> 00:31:26.839 in this movie or not but that's what she called 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:29.839 it in the second movie so yeah how do you remember 00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:33.619 anything dude i don't know i want to know what 00:31:33.619 --> 00:31:36.039 happened to like the other animals because in 00:31:36.039 --> 00:31:37.759 the sequel i remember they had the cat and they 00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:40.559 had doug i don't remember them having like the 00:31:41.160 --> 00:31:44.180 connected tail lemurs or they didn't have the 00:31:44.180 --> 00:31:48.220 whale i was gonna say yeah maybe that's what 00:31:48.220 --> 00:31:49.740 happened they started eating all the pets and 00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:50.980 they were like fuck we're running out of pets 00:31:50.980 --> 00:31:54.759 and we like these last two a lot i mean the the 00:31:54.759 --> 00:31:56.519 connected tail lemur is kind of great because 00:31:56.519 --> 00:31:58.299 you get to eat one and then you can like you 00:31:58.299 --> 00:32:00.460 know like a spaghetti just like suck up like 00:32:00.460 --> 00:32:07.299 the other the other one yeah sixth least favorite 00:32:07.299 --> 00:32:09.779 character in the movie i think it's seventh at 00:32:09.779 --> 00:32:12.619 this point I don't know. All the background animals. 00:32:14.660 --> 00:32:20.920 Even the piranha birds? Yeah. Even Chunky? All 00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:25.079 the background animals. Hey, they all rank above 00:32:25.079 --> 00:32:31.839 Funk. He sucked. Funk is bad. So Nick Cage, at 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:35.000 the end of this, throws everyone across a chasm, 00:32:35.099 --> 00:32:37.259 knowing that he's going to be the only one who 00:32:37.259 --> 00:32:40.000 can't get across. He's the thrower and not a 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:43.380 jumper. He's got those tiny fucking animated 00:32:43.380 --> 00:32:47.140 feet. Yeah. Dumb, dumb feet. Put on some fucking 00:32:47.140 --> 00:32:50.220 fish shoes. Can you imagine trying to suck on 00:32:50.220 --> 00:32:54.059 those toes? No. Gross. Get out of here. Thank 00:32:54.059 --> 00:32:57.660 you. Thank you. I will leave now. You're excused. 00:32:57.660 --> 00:33:00.480 I should just go. I'm going to go home and think 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:04.880 about what I said. And how this impacts the podcast. 00:33:06.879 --> 00:33:09.519 Can we just talk about how dumb it is that their 00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:13.759 plan is to just ride the sun? Yeah, they're idiots. 00:33:14.099 --> 00:33:17.180 Yeah, they're caveys. They don't know shit. So 00:33:17.180 --> 00:33:20.180 they get chasmed. And then Nick Cage goes back 00:33:20.180 --> 00:33:23.460 for the cataclysm to die. And then he's in the 00:33:23.460 --> 00:33:28.599 dark of a cave with Chunky. Finds out that Chunky's 00:33:28.599 --> 00:33:33.269 afraid of the dark. Okay. Befriends Chunky. Then 00:33:33.269 --> 00:33:35.869 they make a flying machine out of a rib cage. 00:33:36.410 --> 00:33:38.809 Yeah, they put a bunch of tar on a rib cage and 00:33:38.809 --> 00:33:41.269 then make all the piranha birds hit it so that 00:33:41.269 --> 00:33:44.089 they fly. And then they use, and then piranha 00:33:44.089 --> 00:33:46.109 birds are scared of fire, so he uses the fire 00:33:46.109 --> 00:33:49.470 to kind of like steer by like, which I thought 00:33:49.470 --> 00:33:53.529 was clever. Yeah, for somebody who's never had 00:33:53.529 --> 00:33:57.170 an idea in his life to make that his first idea. 00:33:57.900 --> 00:34:00.880 Not bad. Not bad. I did like that his ideation 00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:04.220 process was my second least favorite. Seventh? 00:34:04.380 --> 00:34:07.019 Eighth, I think. I don't know. There's eight 00:34:07.019 --> 00:34:09.260 characters in this film. He's your second favorite 00:34:09.260 --> 00:34:13.539 character. You've crossed the threshold. None 00:34:13.539 --> 00:34:16.440 of them are my favorite. Except for Douglas. 00:34:16.719 --> 00:34:20.920 Douglas. You only need one. Yeah. You can only 00:34:20.920 --> 00:34:22.960 have one favorite. But I did like during his 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:25.320 ideation process, it was basically just him braining 00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:28.360 himself on shit. Because he's a big dummy. Cavey. 00:34:29.079 --> 00:34:30.940 Yeah. Well, he was going to like actually like 00:34:30.940 --> 00:34:32.820 hit himself with like a rock and then he had 00:34:32.820 --> 00:34:35.019 the idea before he did. Which is how Guy comes 00:34:35.019 --> 00:34:37.079 up with ideas. He has a belt to hit him with 00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:40.139 a rock. So Guy's basically also just a cavey. 00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:43.000 Yeah, except, you know. They're all big dumbs. 00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:46.980 Yeah, big dumbs. Yeah. So anyway, then they have 00:34:46.980 --> 00:34:50.400 a grand adventure. I wouldn't say a grand adventure. 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:53.300 Well, it looked like they were riding their fucking 00:34:53.300 --> 00:34:56.429 critters and having a good time. Yeah. Then they 00:34:56.429 --> 00:35:00.429 go to the beach. And that was it. Okay. That's 00:35:00.429 --> 00:35:03.409 fair. I watched Begonia the other day. Oh, how 00:35:03.409 --> 00:35:06.489 was that? I really liked Begonia. I mean... I 00:35:06.489 --> 00:35:08.269 mean, I gotta say, I liked something today, right? 00:35:08.489 --> 00:35:10.849 Lanthus Yorgos is a really weird director, and 00:35:10.849 --> 00:35:13.230 I can't tell if I like his stuff or not, but... 00:35:13.230 --> 00:35:15.849 I really like his stuff. Yeah. I really enjoyed 00:35:15.849 --> 00:35:23.420 The Lobster. I fucking hate that movie. I enjoyed 00:35:23.420 --> 00:35:26.780 Begonia a lot. Poor things. Poor things I loved. 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.219 Poor things was just too long for me, but I heard 00:35:29.219 --> 00:35:31.300 Begonia was pretty great. Poor things. Oh yeah. 00:35:31.360 --> 00:35:34.340 I hate the lobster. So I hate the lobster so 00:35:34.340 --> 00:35:37.179 much that like five years after the fact, I was 00:35:37.179 --> 00:35:39.019 with a friend of mine and we were just driving 00:35:39.019 --> 00:35:40.739 and I was just like, you know what I hate? And 00:35:40.739 --> 00:35:44.000 they're like the lobster. I'm like, yes. Because 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:46.179 that's what I was going to say. And they were 00:35:46.179 --> 00:35:48.800 sick of hearing it. Yeah, I was going to say. 00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:51.599 They knew you. They know your bit. It sounds 00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:55.519 like you've complained about it a lot. Oh, yeah. 00:35:55.619 --> 00:35:57.980 Okay, well, so good. You like begonia. You hate 00:35:57.980 --> 00:36:00.679 the crudes. Yeah, I just have, you know, good 00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:06.300 taste. I have adult taste. Primal's great. It's 00:36:06.300 --> 00:36:10.260 not. So much better than the crudes. Worse animation. 00:36:10.699 --> 00:36:15.010 But somehow. still worse nick cage better animals 00:36:15.010 --> 00:36:24.570 i don't know what are we watching next time peter 00:36:24.570 --> 00:36:27.849 so next up is outcast which is actually what 00:36:27.849 --> 00:36:30.809 was going to be our first we didn't have enough 00:36:30.809 --> 00:36:32.469 people for the podcast because i think you got 00:36:32.469 --> 00:36:35.190 sick uh which is why we ended up watching the 00:36:35.190 --> 00:36:39.329 humanity bureau the two of us um because we started 00:36:39.329 --> 00:36:42.349 watching outcast and it was like shit Nick Cage 00:36:42.349 --> 00:36:45.750 is basically not even in this movie. And that 00:36:45.750 --> 00:36:48.150 apparently doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't, 00:36:48.150 --> 00:36:51.650 because now it's about completionism. Which I 00:36:51.650 --> 00:36:54.130 never agreed to. But then we chose Humanity Bureau, 00:36:54.230 --> 00:36:56.809 and Sean was like, boy, I hope you guys just 00:36:56.809 --> 00:36:58.869 don't choose Humanity Bureau. It's like, too 00:36:58.869 --> 00:37:01.730 late, we're doing it. Fuck, we didn't. And then 00:37:01.730 --> 00:37:03.010 I listened to you guys talk about it, and I'm 00:37:03.010 --> 00:37:04.429 like, I'm glad I didn't have to watch that movie. 00:37:04.650 --> 00:37:08.070 Yeah. No way, it was all right. The trailer really 00:37:08.070 --> 00:37:11.579 looked like it was going to be something. outcast 00:37:11.579 --> 00:37:15.260 looks really stupid um so like the hayden christiansen 00:37:15.260 --> 00:37:17.360 it's hayden christiansen and nick cage it's kind 00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:21.079 of that same vibe as like um jujitsu in my mind 00:37:21.079 --> 00:37:24.059 where he's like the old warrior or whatever and 00:37:24.059 --> 00:37:26.699 you know oh there's you know great white knight 00:37:26.699 --> 00:37:29.960 or whatever and everyone respects him but he's 00:37:29.960 --> 00:37:32.929 just like a drunk or some shit i don't know Nice. 00:37:32.929 --> 00:37:35.349 Sounds great. A mysterious warrior teams up with 00:37:35.349 --> 00:37:37.250 a daughter and son of a deposed Chinese emperor 00:37:37.250 --> 00:37:39.730 to defeat their cruel brother who seeks their 00:37:39.730 --> 00:37:42.170 death. Please tell me he plays the Chinese emperor. 00:37:43.050 --> 00:37:46.610 I do not think so. Wait, is Hayden Christensen 00:37:46.610 --> 00:37:50.730 the child of a Chinese emperor? I don't know, 00:37:50.730 --> 00:37:53.090 man. I don't know. Is that some real Ben Kingsley 00:37:53.090 --> 00:37:56.889 shit? It is a little Ben Kingsley. So we'll see. 00:37:57.010 --> 00:37:59.449 I mean, let's see. Let's read a user review just 00:37:59.449 --> 00:38:01.679 real quick. I like to go straight for the three 00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:05.699 stars. What do the mids think about it? I like 00:38:05.699 --> 00:38:07.619 the ones because those are fun too, but simply 00:38:07.619 --> 00:38:12.659 awful in every way. At least it's not complicatedly 00:38:12.659 --> 00:38:16.659 awful. It's just simply awful. That's an awful 00:38:16.659 --> 00:38:18.559 I can understand. Whatever happened to Cage? 00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:20.659 Has he run out of resources and feels the need 00:38:20.659 --> 00:38:22.949 to jump on every bad script out there? Not only 00:38:22.949 --> 00:38:24.630 this, he's actually giving the worst performance 00:38:24.630 --> 00:38:27.369 of the lot in this movie. The story itself is 00:38:27.369 --> 00:38:29.909 corny, limping, and just bad overall, but Cage 00:38:29.909 --> 00:38:33.610 is even worse. Awesome. Yeah. I look forward 00:38:33.610 --> 00:38:37.949 to that. Here's a three star. Damn you, Nick 00:38:37.949 --> 00:38:40.469 Powell, and damn you, James Dormer. I'm assuming 00:38:40.469 --> 00:38:44.590 directors. Why? Seriously, why did you make this? 00:38:44.670 --> 00:38:52.369 Who is it for? Honestly. oh he said ue bowl films 00:38:52.369 --> 00:38:56.750 are better than this oh that's rough what's he 00:38:56.750 --> 00:39:00.530 made blood rain he did he takes really he gets 00:39:00.530 --> 00:39:03.630 really cheap uh video game uh franchises and 00:39:03.630 --> 00:39:06.309 like makes really cheap movies out of them okay 00:39:06.309 --> 00:39:09.210 so probably nothing alone in the dark no you 00:39:09.210 --> 00:39:11.409 i i would be shocked if you've seen a single 00:39:11.409 --> 00:39:13.329 one of these movies these are all i've watched 00:39:13.329 --> 00:39:17.050 several because i had a friend who enjoyed garbage 00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:22.559 um we both famously um we know you like bad movies 00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:27.780 we both famously um challenged his critics to 00:39:27.780 --> 00:39:30.599 uh boxing matches and some of them took him up 00:39:30.599 --> 00:39:33.179 on it and we both proceeded to kick their asses 00:39:33.179 --> 00:39:35.860 because that's how you deal with criticism it's 00:39:35.860 --> 00:39:38.940 terrible like he just universally does not make 00:39:38.940 --> 00:39:43.619 good movies his first movie one five one six 00:39:43.619 --> 00:39:51.440 two two 2 0 1 3 3 7 5 2 he's improving 2 9 3 00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:55.559 2 so his dungeon siege movie famously starts 00:39:55.559 --> 00:39:58.559 with the line i felt you come before you came 00:39:58.559 --> 00:40:02.639 hell fucking yeah okay so maybe maybe nick is 00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:05.960 in i'm gonna get that tattooed on my chest no 00:40:05.960 --> 00:40:11.139 tramp stamp there you go based on title alone 00:40:11.139 --> 00:40:16.000 what you able movie would you like to see oh 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:20.420 okay i mean some of these sound fine like in 00:40:20.420 --> 00:40:22.900 terms of yeah i'm gonna watch like a horror movie 00:40:22.900 --> 00:40:26.579 or something like that you know uh oh boy zombie 00:40:26.579 --> 00:40:29.840 massacre 2 reich of the dead oh that sounds cool 00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:33.360 reich of the dead that's gonna have zombies and 00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:36.679 nazis like legend of the red reaper that could 00:40:36.679 --> 00:40:39.659 be cool like some of these sound all right so 00:40:39.659 --> 00:40:43.719 oh wait i'm sorry i i i totally jumped the shark 00:40:43.719 --> 00:40:46.940 on this one uh blubberella blubberella oh my 00:40:46.940 --> 00:40:50.679 god now that sounds like a porno though and that 00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:55.159 has got me right back in uh his first film german 00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:58.159 fried movie do you think it's a riff on a kentucky 00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:01.179 fried movie probably that was a good one yeah 00:41:01.179 --> 00:41:06.179 if you like problematic films from the 70s ish 00:41:06.179 --> 00:41:10.119 yep we will also like Tried to sue the studio 00:41:10.119 --> 00:41:12.920 that made the Rampage movie based on the video 00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:15.719 game with The Rock because Gleeble also has a 00:41:15.719 --> 00:41:18.619 franchise of films called Rampage. He just sounds 00:41:18.619 --> 00:41:21.179 like a dork. All right. But don't box him over 00:41:21.179 --> 00:41:24.800 it. Yeah, apparently not. Any final thoughts? 00:41:25.639 --> 00:41:28.599 Well, no, like I said, Begonia was good. Yeah, 00:41:28.639 --> 00:41:31.559 good. And Douglas is a good dog. Douglas was 00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:36.260 a good dog creature. Dog -like, yeah. The Croods 00:41:36.260 --> 00:41:39.780 are fun films. if you have kids you could watch 00:41:39.780 --> 00:41:44.219 worse things glowing room yeah i mean i don't 00:41:44.219 --> 00:41:46.019 disagree with that assessment i think that's 00:41:46.019 --> 00:41:47.880 actually fine i didn't have a bad time with this 00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:50.260 i did i enjoyed this movie i enjoyed this movie 00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:52.619 a lot i will like i will put on the crudes in 00:41:52.619 --> 00:41:55.300 the background i'll put on the crudes too uh 00:41:55.300 --> 00:41:57.960 because i generally enjoy them be there so you 00:41:57.960 --> 00:42:01.199 can annoy him when you say if you have kids watch 00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:05.059 the crudes uh my brain immediately translated 00:42:05.059 --> 00:42:08.400 it to Hey, you already made bad choices, so go 00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:11.139 ahead and make another one. I said there are 00:42:11.139 --> 00:42:13.920 worse things you could watch with kids. There 00:42:13.920 --> 00:42:16.139 are much worse children's films out there. Yeah, 00:42:16.139 --> 00:42:17.760 I can think of like nine things that would be 00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:20.539 worse to watch with kids. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 00:42:21.179 --> 00:42:23.440 Blubberella. Blubberella. No, I don't know. They 00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:26.340 might be into it. I might have to screen it for 00:42:26.340 --> 00:42:28.519 boobs first. That's true. I don't want to. There's 00:42:28.519 --> 00:42:30.760 definitely boobs. Come on, let's be real. Uwe 00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:34.539 Bolls. Uwe Boll's postal, which involves Dave 00:42:34.539 --> 00:42:36.780 Foley just taking a big shit in the opening scene. 00:42:37.059 --> 00:42:38.920 Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so you 00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:41.019 might be into Uwe Boll. Yeah, he might be my 00:42:41.019 --> 00:42:45.719 guy. Yeah. Anyway, to our guys, thanks to our 00:42:45.719 --> 00:42:48.500 Sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam, Bill, 00:42:48.599 --> 00:42:50.860 Stuart, and Willow, and our Caged Dancers, John, 00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:53.119 Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron, and of course to 00:42:53.119 --> 00:42:55.719 Bill Panks for our intro music. Sorry you're 00:42:55.719 --> 00:43:06.849 all tied to this one. Thanks for listening. Bye. 00:43:07.170 --> 00:43:07.530 Bye.