WEBVTT 00:00:01.699 --> 00:00:24.260 Oh, God. Oh, my God. So, yeah, gray hairs grow 00:00:24.260 --> 00:00:26.420 fast. Oh, yeah, they're super slick. That's because 00:00:26.420 --> 00:00:29.399 they're... No. They're coarse. They're coarse. 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:32.799 So they like push through. That makes no sense. 00:00:32.859 --> 00:00:35.359 That doesn't make sense. If they were so coarse, 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:37.759 why don't they get sandpaper stuck? Why are my 00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:42.740 follicles getting bigger? And they stand up. 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:44.659 Now I'm creeped out. Why are they always wet? 00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:48.780 Yeah, well, I love a good wet hole. God, fuck. 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:52.320 Strong start. I'm very tired. I did not sleep 00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:54.939 almost at all last night. Oh, nice. Yeah, right. 00:00:55.100 --> 00:00:58.020 I got my four hours. Has anyone here ever tried 00:00:58.020 --> 00:01:00.960 to like talk to Google, not like Google AI, but 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:04.180 someone at Google? Oh yeah. Every once in a while 00:01:04.180 --> 00:01:06.379 I've, I've had to deal with that for like SEO 00:01:06.379 --> 00:01:09.319 shit. Yeah. That's what I'm currently dealing 00:01:09.319 --> 00:01:13.140 with today. I ended my day with an email from 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:15.519 Google. They've been swapping our business hours 00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:19.060 for us every day, even though, you know, to what 00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:21.519 isn't our business hours. And they finally emailed 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:23.439 me today and they're like, we found the problem. 00:01:23.859 --> 00:01:26.359 There's this, uh, Email that has access to your 00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:28.040 account that keeps changing them. You should 00:01:28.040 --> 00:01:30.859 contact them and tell them to stop. To which 00:01:30.859 --> 00:01:37.659 I replied, you mean me? Because they sent me 00:01:37.659 --> 00:01:41.579 back my email responding to that email address. 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:45.980 Nice. Wow. Real good attention to detail. So 00:01:45.980 --> 00:01:48.840 why'd you keep changing it? Yeah, stop fucking 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:51.980 with the dates and times, Sean. The best part, 00:01:52.060 --> 00:01:54.560 though, was my boss was on this email thread 00:01:54.560 --> 00:02:01.579 and just replied to me with woof. OK, so they're 00:02:01.579 --> 00:02:04.879 dipshits. I get it. I deal with tech support 00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:09.099 with all sorts of companies all day, all week 00:02:09.099 --> 00:02:11.419 long. It's terrible. Every once in a while you 00:02:11.419 --> 00:02:13.080 get like an actually good one. And I'm always 00:02:13.080 --> 00:02:16.189 surprised by it. give them extra thanks at the 00:02:16.189 --> 00:02:18.870 end usually i just get furious oh yeah i know 00:02:18.870 --> 00:02:21.689 i always start with the yelling yeah and i let 00:02:21.689 --> 00:02:24.569 them like work out like whether they want to 00:02:24.569 --> 00:02:27.770 be a calming agent or just one of those people 00:02:27.770 --> 00:02:30.650 that like juices me up even more and gets me 00:02:30.650 --> 00:02:32.729 hotter and then i elevate to their supervisor 00:02:32.729 --> 00:02:36.370 well how do you guys feel about jesus god damn 00:02:36.370 --> 00:02:39.250 it i had a segue and everything roll it back 00:02:39.250 --> 00:02:41.569 go ahead you know who didn't have this problem 00:02:41.569 --> 00:02:50.830 jesus That's true. I'm sorry. The boy. Yeah. 00:02:50.949 --> 00:02:54.229 The boy. Joshua. He does get called Joshua once. 00:02:54.430 --> 00:02:57.389 He does. That's true. One time. Which is cool 00:02:57.389 --> 00:03:00.930 people for Jesus, I guess. Yep. Praise Joshua. 00:03:01.710 --> 00:03:04.729 That's like how Alfredo seems like a cool name, 00:03:04.870 --> 00:03:09.569 but it's just Alfred. Or Arturo. It's like, it's 00:03:09.569 --> 00:03:14.189 Arthur. Eduardo. These are just dork names. Yeah, 00:03:14.289 --> 00:03:16.830 these are just good old -fashioned real people 00:03:16.830 --> 00:03:20.710 names with O's at the end. Kinda. Alright, Peter 00:03:20.710 --> 00:03:28.830 O. Nico. Yeah, Nico. Nico! Oh my god. That actually 00:03:28.830 --> 00:03:32.310 works. Nico is what it is. Nico wafers. Nico 00:03:32.310 --> 00:03:35.030 wafers are my favorite, man. I love just jamming 00:03:35.030 --> 00:03:39.500 some. anus flavored nico wafers uh also welcome 00:03:39.500 --> 00:03:40.819 back to cage magical and roundabout way me to 00:03:40.819 --> 00:03:42.400 nicholas cage i'm your host sean here with my 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:46.919 co -host nick and our producer peter hello and 00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:51.360 our special guest josie hi josie hi yeah long 00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:54.580 time listener long time our first patreon supporter 00:03:54.580 --> 00:03:58.699 no never called or wait you weren't our first 00:03:58.699 --> 00:04:00.639 josh was never mind doesn't matter you were an 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:04.800 early patreon supporter i feel like josie was 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:08.219 an early hostage to this endeavor she didn't 00:04:08.219 --> 00:04:10.479 have much choice in this one she got roped along 00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:13.639 i mean i like to watch movies and if nick will 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:16.879 sit down and watch a movie with me i guess Yeah, 00:04:16.920 --> 00:04:19.160 it's kind of a win -win in that way, except you've 00:04:19.160 --> 00:04:22.240 had to watch a lot of bad movies. And them multiple 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:25.279 times. How do you feel about Nicolas Cage? Yeah. 00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:29.160 I like most of the stuff we watch. There's some 00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:32.040 that I don't want to watch again. Yeah, but usually 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:35.279 once is enough. Yeah. In those situations, it's 00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:36.920 like, oh, okay, I watched it. That's pretty good. 00:04:37.060 --> 00:04:39.459 Yep. There are still some that I would watch, 00:04:39.459 --> 00:04:42.459 you know, multiple times. There was a part of 00:04:42.459 --> 00:04:44.199 me that was like, how do I watch this again? 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:47.600 I kind of wanted to. not sure why this movie 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:50.720 oh this movie yeah that is an incorrect that 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:53.000 is an incorrect assumption uh yeah we'll talk 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:54.800 about that because i actually also kind of wanted 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.360 to watch it again i would watch it again but 00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:59.720 yeah this is one of those movies i'd only watch 00:04:59.720 --> 00:05:02.699 the highlights of mostly i want to see uh jesus 00:05:02.699 --> 00:05:06.000 and satan throw hands again oh yeah yeah okay 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:09.259 spoilers yeah so we we watched the brand new 00:05:09.259 --> 00:05:12.800 uh carpenter's son went to a movie theater had 00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:14.779 the whole experience there were other people 00:05:14.779 --> 00:05:16.680 there were people there were people in your theater 00:05:16.680 --> 00:05:18.920 too right sean yeah no there were and it was 00:05:18.920 --> 00:05:23.019 weird yeah for a movie that i saw no advertising 00:05:23.019 --> 00:05:25.600 for not even on like reddit or anything like 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:28.860 that uh there were maybe two posts that i ever 00:05:28.860 --> 00:05:31.040 saw about it outside of our own conversations 00:05:31.899 --> 00:05:34.279 We knew at least one of the groups of people 00:05:34.279 --> 00:05:36.180 as we were leaving, they were like, are you guys 00:05:36.180 --> 00:05:39.199 religious or Nick Cage people? Oh, yeah. Like, 00:05:39.259 --> 00:05:42.079 yeah, no, we're religious about Nicolas Cage. 00:05:42.360 --> 00:05:45.060 That's true. Throughout this whole film, I was 00:05:45.060 --> 00:05:49.980 trying to like stifle mad cackling at just how 00:05:49.980 --> 00:05:53.240 hilariously bad parts of this were. And I stopped 00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:56.160 myself because religious people are weird about 00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:58.839 Jesus. And I didn't want to get punched. Go figure. 00:05:59.629 --> 00:06:02.290 oh i don't know from what i hear most of the 00:06:02.290 --> 00:06:04.410 religious people who see this film end up just 00:06:04.410 --> 00:06:08.449 walking out because of the the blasphemes but 00:06:08.449 --> 00:06:11.569 one dude was crying at the end of this film oh 00:06:11.569 --> 00:06:16.350 that's so cool what i had questions why i mean 00:06:16.350 --> 00:06:18.209 i don't see why is it because is it because the 00:06:18.209 --> 00:06:21.790 devil lost or they were confused because it was 00:06:21.790 --> 00:06:26.649 so annoyingly vague but not at the same time 00:06:27.819 --> 00:06:32.339 Did they finally bust? I just figured like if 00:06:32.339 --> 00:06:34.560 this guy's crying, if this guy's crying at a 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:36.480 Jesus movie, he probably doesn't want to be asked 00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:40.019 by the guy in a dress and heels what his deal 00:06:40.019 --> 00:06:44.189 is. that's probably fair i think the question 00:06:44.189 --> 00:06:46.490 goes both ways at this point and you just have 00:06:46.490 --> 00:06:49.189 to accept that it's okay but also most people 00:06:49.189 --> 00:06:52.329 strangers don't like to be asked what's your 00:06:52.329 --> 00:06:55.870 deal yeah hey dude that's not really a thing 00:06:55.870 --> 00:06:58.550 that you should ask people unless they work at 00:06:58.550 --> 00:07:05.110 a casino josey were you raised religious at all 00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:10.079 um i went to catholic school for kindergarten 00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:13.639 and first grade okay and then my brother graduated 00:07:13.639 --> 00:07:17.139 eighth grade from the school and i had no one 00:07:17.139 --> 00:07:20.779 to walk home with so i got put in public school 00:07:20.779 --> 00:07:25.019 so that i could go home with friends okay i had 00:07:25.019 --> 00:07:27.139 a similar experience because i went to catholic 00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:29.300 school for kindergarten first grade and then 00:07:29.300 --> 00:07:31.699 i got held back in the first grade and then my 00:07:31.699 --> 00:07:33.879 parents took me out of that school that's because 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:36.160 they knew you were bad to the core were you held 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:39.459 back or held down Show us on the doll where the 00:07:39.459 --> 00:07:43.819 priest touched you, Sean. I was too mouthy for 00:07:43.819 --> 00:07:47.019 that. That's their favorite kind of kid. The 00:07:47.019 --> 00:07:49.800 mouthy ones. No, because I would talk. They can't 00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:54.139 have kids who talk. No, I just first day of first 00:07:54.139 --> 00:07:56.720 grade, I told my teacher, Miss Cooch's, I hate 00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.079 you and don't have to do what you say. And then 00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:01.199 proceeded to do that for an entire school year. 00:08:01.860 --> 00:08:08.240 Oh, lovely. I had a sister, Amanda. Sister. Sister 00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:11.959 Amanda was our... That's like the lady version 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:14.420 of name with an O. This is name with an A. So 00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:20.060 it's just Amanda? Yeah. See how they added an 00:08:20.060 --> 00:08:23.360 A on the end? Here's the extra sound, the ah. 00:08:24.819 --> 00:08:26.839 I don't know. I think I'm pretty on record for 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:31.879 having a speckled past with Catholic raising. 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.980 I think I talked about like... Getting held back 00:08:35.980 --> 00:08:38.620 in like my first communion school, all my Sunday 00:08:38.620 --> 00:08:41.000 school classes and stuff. Too many questions. 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:44.299 Well, I was drawing pictures. I was drawing pictures 00:08:44.299 --> 00:08:47.279 of kids misbehaving. And that's right. The nun 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:49.960 was just like, we're not so sure about this one. 00:08:50.340 --> 00:08:53.320 Let's hold him back. You were OK. You were held 00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:55.960 back in Sunday school. I was just asked to not 00:08:55.960 --> 00:08:59.379 be returned. Yeah, they just they told my parents, 00:08:59.460 --> 00:09:02.549 little Sean can't come back. Yeah, well, that's 00:09:02.549 --> 00:09:04.830 what churches are for dumping children. Exactly. 00:09:04.950 --> 00:09:07.149 Come on. Like, obviously, your parents had a 00:09:07.149 --> 00:09:10.730 plan. So I did K through eight in Catholic school 00:09:10.730 --> 00:09:13.070 and, you know, was then expected in high school 00:09:13.070 --> 00:09:15.309 years to continue going to church, which basically 00:09:15.309 --> 00:09:18.309 meant me going to the super early mass before 00:09:18.309 --> 00:09:21.309 I went to work in a restaurant and standing outside 00:09:21.309 --> 00:09:24.250 of it, eating McDonald's and listening to the 00:09:24.250 --> 00:09:26.250 priest's voice so I could hear at least a bit 00:09:26.250 --> 00:09:28.190 of what they talked about so I could tell my 00:09:28.190 --> 00:09:31.399 dad that I went to church. um so that's my relationship 00:09:31.399 --> 00:09:34.179 with it um but sticks one of the things that 00:09:34.179 --> 00:09:36.460 i always was interested though was about like 00:09:36.460 --> 00:09:39.159 this middle section of jesus's life where it's 00:09:39.159 --> 00:09:41.340 like what happened when he was like a little 00:09:41.340 --> 00:09:44.860 shit teen yeah you know yeah it's sad that they 00:09:44.860 --> 00:09:49.159 don't really ever try to address it like uh on 00:09:49.159 --> 00:09:52.820 the record or anything on the record all these 00:09:52.820 --> 00:09:55.399 damn apocryphal records so instead you get a 00:09:55.399 --> 00:09:59.889 nicholas cage movie Have you read the Christopher 00:09:59.889 --> 00:10:03.909 Moore book, Lamb? Yes. The Gospel According to 00:10:03.909 --> 00:10:08.149 Biff, Jesus's Best Friend. I forgot about that 00:10:08.149 --> 00:10:10.809 book. I really liked it. I love Christopher Moore, 00:10:10.909 --> 00:10:12.750 and I've read all of his books, but that's a 00:10:12.750 --> 00:10:16.509 good one. If you listen to it, it's read by Fisher 00:10:16.509 --> 00:10:20.629 Stevens. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. He's my favorite 00:10:20.629 --> 00:10:28.500 Indian. What? It's a good one. He plays and he 00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:31.000 played it. I mean, he's a notably not Indian 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:33.899 guy who played an Indian guy in short circuit 00:10:33.899 --> 00:10:36.820 and short circuit, too, I assume. What kind of 00:10:36.820 --> 00:10:41.299 Indian like Ben Kingsley Indian or like? Yes. 00:10:41.460 --> 00:10:46.320 Yes. I mean, they give him brown face for that, 00:10:46.419 --> 00:10:50.000 for sure. Hell yeah. Yeah. Short circuit, huh? 00:10:50.139 --> 00:10:52.039 I'm going to watch that in a minute. Same. I 00:10:52.039 --> 00:10:53.519 think it's time to go home and commit a crime. 00:10:53.909 --> 00:10:55.590 uh speaking of brownface i was just reminded 00:10:55.590 --> 00:10:57.590 that the prince of persia movie exists and no 00:10:57.590 --> 00:11:01.750 one in that is uh nope persian that yeah well 00:11:01.750 --> 00:11:04.850 i mean kind of similar vibes for this movie it's 00:11:04.850 --> 00:11:07.250 like they did not get anybody middle eastern 00:11:07.250 --> 00:11:10.509 at all case in point nick cage i do appreciate 00:11:10.509 --> 00:11:13.769 that the uh the white male bearded character 00:11:13.769 --> 00:11:16.230 in this wasn't jesus they actually got someone 00:11:16.230 --> 00:11:20.669 with melanin to play jesus that's true yeah that's 00:11:20.669 --> 00:11:23.269 his name right yeah yeah It's Jupe, not Jupe? 00:11:23.389 --> 00:11:26.250 Yeah, it's Jupe. Hoopa? Yeah, so Nick Cage is 00:11:26.250 --> 00:11:31.929 the carpenter. Noah Jupe is... the boy fka twigs 00:11:31.929 --> 00:11:36.649 is the mother i had to say that i did too it's 00:11:36.649 --> 00:11:39.509 just fka i did one of those things it was like 00:11:39.509 --> 00:11:40.769 how do you pronounce this and it was a video 00:11:40.769 --> 00:11:43.110 and it was like fka twigs and i was like yeah 00:11:43.110 --> 00:11:45.909 you probably could have cracked that code you 00:11:45.909 --> 00:11:49.190 immediately tried like just sounding it out though 00:11:49.190 --> 00:11:54.809 right oh yeah twigs this can't be it i'm going 00:11:54.809 --> 00:11:57.950 to google oh why are the hours wrong on her name 00:11:57.950 --> 00:12:03.980 ah curses Goddamn Google. FKA twigs. Yeah. Yeah. 00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:06.600 That was something. Yeah. Peter hit it on the 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:08.740 head. This movie is about like, yeah, that the, 00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:10.779 the middle, the middle of Jesus's life when he 00:12:10.779 --> 00:12:13.759 was a shitty teen and hit it on the head. Is 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:16.720 that an, is that a carpenter pun? There was a 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:18.740 lot of, you're not my dad energy. You're not 00:12:18.740 --> 00:12:21.740 my daddy. There was a lot of that. Yeah. Which 00:12:21.740 --> 00:12:24.759 is also true. Yeah. I mean, depending on what 00:12:24.759 --> 00:12:26.779 you believe. I mean, it's true in every sense. 00:12:26.899 --> 00:12:29.419 Like, I don't think he is Nicolas Cage's child. 00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:31.159 Well, that's true. And the carpenter was all 00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:33.460 mad because, you know, God gave him a sign one 00:12:33.460 --> 00:12:35.299 time and he's been like riding that high ever 00:12:35.299 --> 00:12:39.220 since. Yeah, it bugged me. OK, I don't know much 00:12:39.220 --> 00:12:42.360 about the Bible, but I thought Joseph and Mary 00:12:42.360 --> 00:12:45.700 were like a couple. And then she just happened 00:12:45.700 --> 00:12:50.490 to have. divine baby but they were not at all 00:12:50.490 --> 00:12:53.210 a couple in this movie and he did not love her 00:12:53.210 --> 00:12:56.629 she did yeah it was weird i think i think there's 00:12:56.629 --> 00:13:00.230 usually like very big age gap partnership in 00:13:00.230 --> 00:13:03.269 the bible and it was like arranged marriage type 00:13:03.269 --> 00:13:05.350 of shit yeah she was definitely there to like 00:13:05.350 --> 00:13:09.049 just bear bear children and do things for him 00:13:09.049 --> 00:13:11.769 that seemed to be the vibe i will say my initial 00:13:11.769 --> 00:13:14.370 thought about the my initial like thought when 00:13:14.370 --> 00:13:16.110 this movie started when you just see mary like 00:13:16.110 --> 00:13:19.129 shitting out a baby like just squat down shitting 00:13:19.129 --> 00:13:21.909 out the kid um was just like wow they actually 00:13:21.909 --> 00:13:25.370 are not hiding the fact that that is supposed 00:13:25.370 --> 00:13:28.350 to be a child having a baby because she looks 00:13:28.350 --> 00:13:32.610 13 with just a bunch of lip filler Which I think 00:13:32.610 --> 00:13:35.389 is what Mary was supposed to be in the story, 00:13:35.529 --> 00:13:38.590 like 13 or 14 or something like this. Yeah. I 00:13:38.590 --> 00:13:47.529 mean, is God a perv? Yes. I mean. Hard to argue 00:13:47.529 --> 00:13:50.190 with that. The other two thoughts I had during 00:13:50.190 --> 00:13:53.929 this movie was, one, the way they do Jesus being 00:13:53.929 --> 00:13:56.629 Jesus is he has like superpowers. He has mutant 00:13:56.629 --> 00:13:59.210 powers. He has like the Superman. That's called 00:13:59.210 --> 00:14:02.090 just Christianity. Yeah. That's how they do it 00:14:02.090 --> 00:14:04.590 across the board. He can just hear and sense 00:14:04.590 --> 00:14:07.090 everything. And it's just like, it's the very 00:14:07.090 --> 00:14:11.649 lazy Superman overstimulated thing. The two thoughts 00:14:11.649 --> 00:14:13.730 I had going into this or watching this film was 00:14:13.730 --> 00:14:16.409 still better than 90 % of the Fox X -Men movies. 00:14:16.929 --> 00:14:21.090 Yeah. And these new Star Wars movies do fucking 00:14:21.090 --> 00:14:26.230 suck. Because Jesus uses the force to kill a 00:14:26.230 --> 00:14:30.019 child. yeah we'll get there yeah i like the long 00:14:30.019 --> 00:14:33.240 distance he sniped that kid right out did yeah 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:36.740 like fuck you just dropped his ass okay josey 00:14:36.740 --> 00:14:39.259 laser give us give us the the plot rundown of 00:14:39.259 --> 00:14:41.460 this this lovely movie obviously we now know 00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:45.500 that jesus was butt born yeah shit out shit out 00:14:45.500 --> 00:14:49.440 i know how babies work i'm gonna have to put 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:51.480 a content warning on this in a different way 00:14:53.080 --> 00:14:57.100 I don't really know. It's just Bible -y stuff, 00:14:57.279 --> 00:15:02.120 right? Well, they're like shunned from everywhere 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:05.889 they go. So they're like always on the run. Well, 00:15:05.909 --> 00:15:08.009 also, they're worried about the king trying to 00:15:08.009 --> 00:15:10.009 find them because they don't want to have him 00:15:10.009 --> 00:15:14.409 be thrown on the baby burn pile. That was rough. 00:15:14.690 --> 00:15:17.470 Intense. That was a cool way to start this movie. 00:15:17.590 --> 00:15:19.990 That's pretty hardcore, right? All right, guys, 00:15:20.269 --> 00:15:23.470 let me security like baggage check. Oh, baby 00:15:23.470 --> 00:15:27.330 on the pile. Does it have a penis? Throw it in 00:15:27.330 --> 00:15:30.009 the fire. That was my problem with that part. 00:15:31.370 --> 00:15:35.350 As a king, don't you want more subjects? Why 00:15:35.350 --> 00:15:38.610 are you throwing all of the babies away? So, 00:15:38.690 --> 00:15:41.710 OK, so the Bible stuff that you're missing out 00:15:41.710 --> 00:15:45.590 on is that the king, Herod, learns that there's 00:15:45.590 --> 00:15:47.889 a baby to be born that will be the new king of 00:15:47.889 --> 00:15:51.210 kings. So as current king, he's like, fuck that 00:15:51.210 --> 00:15:54.250 shit. Every baby born right around this time, 00:15:54.289 --> 00:16:00.570 that's a boy. Kill him. see i've never read any 00:16:00.570 --> 00:16:05.870 oh look at me diving deep into my memories this 00:16:05.870 --> 00:16:09.389 is good which also just god being a bit of a 00:16:09.389 --> 00:16:11.909 hypocrite here seen as he's the whole like you're 00:16:11.909 --> 00:16:13.309 not allowed to worship anyone but me because 00:16:13.309 --> 00:16:16.970 i'm sensitive about that shit but you know don't 00:16:16.970 --> 00:16:19.070 don't throw my son on the baby on the baby uh 00:16:19.070 --> 00:16:23.149 pyre all of my well the son is also him that's 00:16:23.149 --> 00:16:26.070 right all of my three things bible knowledge 00:16:26.070 --> 00:16:33.120 is from uh androloid weber musicals so that's 00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:37.000 a good way to consume it problem joseph and the 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:40.279 amazing technicolor dreamcoat and jesus christ 00:16:40.279 --> 00:16:42.100 superstar there you go you got everything you 00:16:42.100 --> 00:16:45.100 need yeah and i'm bound by law to continue saying 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:48.889 that Dreamcoat is still the best musical in the 00:16:48.889 --> 00:16:51.669 world and always will be. I've done it twice. 00:16:51.690 --> 00:16:54.529 It's so awful. Never seen it. God, it's so awful. 00:16:54.549 --> 00:16:56.850 Why are you required to say that again? I lost 00:16:56.850 --> 00:17:00.110 a bet in college. But it was like a game of rock, 00:17:00.149 --> 00:17:02.629 paper, scissors. It was very low stakes. Yeah. 00:17:02.750 --> 00:17:04.589 But I'm going to hold to it because I'm a man 00:17:04.589 --> 00:17:07.890 of integrity. I appreciate that. Oh, are you? 00:17:08.390 --> 00:17:10.130 That's what I said. Those are the words that 00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:12.569 I recorded. All right. That's why you and Jesus 00:17:12.569 --> 00:17:15.549 are so similar. Yeah. That and our Technicolor 00:17:15.549 --> 00:17:19.829 Dreamcoats. Okay, so they escape the burn pile 00:17:19.829 --> 00:17:23.490 by having him in a saddlebag? Yeah, I think so. 00:17:23.730 --> 00:17:25.529 I thought he was going to be in that roll in 00:17:25.529 --> 00:17:26.509 the back and they were just going to lay him. 00:17:28.509 --> 00:17:32.390 Like they burritoed him. It's called swaddling. 00:17:35.730 --> 00:17:39.579 Yeah, so they run away. And they just keep finding 00:17:39.579 --> 00:17:44.119 new villages to stay in. And he, Joseph, well, 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:50.400 the carpenter gets a job and then they get found 00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:53.960 out and then they run again. They finally find 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.440 a village when he's like, what is he? Probably 00:17:56.440 --> 00:18:00.579 15. I like that when they find the housing, a 00:18:00.579 --> 00:18:02.940 guy is just like. It's down that way and then 00:18:02.940 --> 00:18:04.680 on the left and they just like wander around 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:09.480 in the cave. Randomly find a house that's unoccupied. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:12.099 Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's weird. It's plague 00:18:12.099 --> 00:18:15.980 times, right? Or leprosy times. Yeah, the way 00:18:15.980 --> 00:18:17.740 they check if like demons have come into the 00:18:17.740 --> 00:18:19.319 house is they put sand on the doorway and if 00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:23.799 there's chicken feet in it, you know that a demon's 00:18:23.799 --> 00:18:26.220 been in there. So they can only move to towns 00:18:26.220 --> 00:18:31.069 without chickens. Yeah. Yeah. That chicken had 00:18:31.069 --> 00:18:36.349 very just even steps too. Like it was two chicken 00:18:36.349 --> 00:18:37.930 feet just right next to each other. And then 00:18:37.930 --> 00:18:39.509 like a couple of inches later, two more chicken 00:18:39.509 --> 00:18:41.190 feet. Like you just. Oh, just hopping. Maybe 00:18:41.190 --> 00:18:43.089 it hops. It's a hopping chicken. Just doing a 00:18:43.089 --> 00:18:46.869 cock hop. Like a. The cock hop. What roosters 00:18:46.869 --> 00:18:48.789 are known for there. You going to the cock hop 00:18:48.789 --> 00:18:52.009 later? Yep. I was thinking maybe like a crow. 00:18:52.009 --> 00:18:54.670 Cock a hop -a -loo. That doesn't work. That's 00:18:54.670 --> 00:19:00.759 terrible. I liked it. So because. Joseph can't 00:19:00.759 --> 00:19:06.259 relate to his not son. Joseph like locks Jesus 00:19:06.259 --> 00:19:10.019 like in a shed every night. Yeah. This is so 00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:14.740 dumb. It's so weird. Because like Jesus can just 00:19:14.740 --> 00:19:16.380 reach through the slats and pull out the bit 00:19:16.380 --> 00:19:18.660 of wood that locks him in the shed. I loved that. 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:22.900 I loved it. It's just like a bunch of like kind 00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:27.400 of open, not even like processed lumber or anything. 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:29.920 It's just like. Here's a bunch of raw wood kind 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:33.259 of lashed together in the resemblance of like 00:19:33.259 --> 00:19:36.480 a prison cell. Yeah. And you can just reach out 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:39.859 and move your kind of like. I will say as a parent, 00:19:39.960 --> 00:19:42.740 there's definitely a window of time. And Jesus 00:19:42.740 --> 00:19:44.859 at 15 is beyond that. But where you can kind 00:19:44.859 --> 00:19:46.500 of just like close a door and a kid is like, 00:19:46.579 --> 00:19:52.039 guess that's that. I mean, you get a laundry 00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:54.019 hamper and a heavy enough book and you're fine 00:19:54.019 --> 00:19:56.920 for at least 20 minutes. Yeah, 15 -year -olds 00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:01.660 can't figure out a laundry hamper. Nah. But yeah, 00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:05.519 so he breaks out a lot. Also, he makes a new 00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:11.240 friend in the town who just happens to be Satan. 00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:17.890 Satan? Yeah. Is it not a skewered meat? uh well 00:20:17.890 --> 00:20:26.130 there's satay and there's also satan satan satay 00:20:26.130 --> 00:20:30.970 yeah yeah a fake meat satay i will say uh i will 00:20:30.970 --> 00:20:35.130 say uh the fake meat uh satan um that fucking 00:20:35.130 --> 00:20:37.680 you know That's end of days for me. That just 00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:39.380 runs right through. Doesn't it go right through 00:20:39.380 --> 00:20:43.980 everybody? It's like huge amounts of just consuming 00:20:43.980 --> 00:20:47.980 gluten. It's only the gluten. It's all farts 00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:50.619 for me. Like I eat it and I'm just like loud 00:20:50.619 --> 00:20:54.079 ass clappers all over the place. Now that clears 00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:58.700 me out. Oh yeah. So we all agree, satan is bad. 00:20:59.079 --> 00:21:03.180 Yeah, it's not good. This is not a pro satan 00:21:03.180 --> 00:21:07.720 podcast. I guess we're with Jesus on this one. 00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:13.700 Yeah, he makes friends with this little kid and 00:21:13.700 --> 00:21:19.680 like the like she she lives with the. The lepers 00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:21.500 and everything with the sick, she doesn't have 00:21:21.500 --> 00:21:24.279 a family and she's got like weird cutting scars 00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:27.529 like she was the first like. I don't know, emo 00:21:27.529 --> 00:21:30.930 kid, like first tortured soul. Yeah. But it's 00:21:30.930 --> 00:21:33.549 like on her face and like, oh, but they play 00:21:33.549 --> 00:21:35.809 this stupid game where it's like, see how close 00:21:35.809 --> 00:21:38.009 you can get to touching the leper without touching 00:21:38.009 --> 00:21:42.890 him. And then she's like, how fun is this? Yeah. 00:21:42.890 --> 00:21:45.869 Aren't we having such a good time over this basically 00:21:45.869 --> 00:21:48.630 dying person? They hadn't invented Nintendo yet. 00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:52.529 That's true. Pac -Man hadn't shown up on the 00:21:52.529 --> 00:21:56.309 scene yet. This is what we had to do. Yeah. I 00:21:56.309 --> 00:21:58.250 mean, you know, Stand By Me is about going and 00:21:58.250 --> 00:22:00.250 finding a dead body. You know, it's like times 00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:03.730 haven't changed that much. Yeah. The 80s aren't 00:22:03.730 --> 00:22:06.730 that far away. Then she then she like pushes 00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:09.349 Jesus onto the dead body and or onto the leper 00:22:09.349 --> 00:22:15.049 and he gets cured. Yeah. And then but it's a 00:22:15.049 --> 00:22:16.829 slow burn because he was still kind of ugly. 00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:20.680 Well, he was only, like, cured on that one spot 00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:24.940 where he, like, fell on him. Yeah. Touch me more. 00:22:25.220 --> 00:22:27.759 Yeah, that's so creepy, too. Like, hey, man, 00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:30.039 you cured my ear. I need you to touch me all 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:33.000 over. Just give me the full. Yeah. The leper 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:35.339 show up to his shed and, like, grab him. That 00:22:35.339 --> 00:22:37.779 was, like, the one creepy part was when he goes 00:22:37.779 --> 00:22:39.460 back into his shed and, like, the hand comes 00:22:39.460 --> 00:22:42.279 out of the shadow. Yeah. Yeah, and he brings 00:22:42.279 --> 00:22:45.740 the whole leper colony with him. yeah do you 00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:49.559 think this is uh the story that inspired all 00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:51.420 the catholic priests like they're just out there 00:22:51.420 --> 00:22:55.400 trying to cure the little kids and they're like 00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:57.319 them of their innocence yeah they're like we 00:22:57.319 --> 00:23:00.559 have to touch you we'll let us touch the pain 00:23:00.559 --> 00:23:05.200 away oh no gross but yeah you're right that was 00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:09.420 like the the almost horroriest moment in this 00:23:09.420 --> 00:23:11.460 there's a couple other ones where it's like jesus 00:23:11.460 --> 00:23:13.480 is visions of the future and he sees himself 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:17.140 crucified and yeah him in the the tomb in the 00:23:17.140 --> 00:23:19.680 shroud which like you know it's a jump scare 00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:22.380 oh he's breathing but like that visual was kind 00:23:22.380 --> 00:23:24.039 of cool yeah there were some really cool visuals 00:23:24.039 --> 00:23:26.720 the visuals of like him on the cross i thought 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:29.299 was well shot like this one thing about this 00:23:29.299 --> 00:23:33.380 film is like they actually had probably a decent 00:23:33.380 --> 00:23:35.480 dp like i didn't check to see who it was like 00:23:35.480 --> 00:23:38.220 i mean probably fucking nobody no i mean visually 00:23:38.220 --> 00:23:40.460 correct they did look very good work i mean like 00:23:40.460 --> 00:23:42.819 i liked a lot of uh the visuals on this film 00:23:42.819 --> 00:23:47.920 for a very colorless palette of desolate landscape 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:53.079 i guess yeah yeah pretty good house paint hadn't 00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:55.779 really made its way no i get that i get that 00:23:55.779 --> 00:24:00.940 but except for her uh shawl that was so blue 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:04.339 yeah well that's also a mary thing mary's iconography 00:24:04.339 --> 00:24:08.519 is all blue that i know but yeah it's like where'd 00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:10.579 she get those fucking dyes how did you get that 00:24:10.579 --> 00:24:13.940 dye maybe jesus blessed it's god blessed yeah 00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:18.299 one of the visuals that i did not enjoy was um 00:24:18.299 --> 00:24:22.319 later he has a vision of hell and it's just this 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:25.059 like oh it looks like a weird like writhing sort 00:24:25.059 --> 00:24:27.559 of arm it's a butthole but everything it's it's 00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:30.680 they look like they look like bodies kind of 00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:33.319 yeah but they're like weird butt bags like they're 00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:35.220 they're not like actually human beings they're 00:24:35.220 --> 00:24:38.059 sort of like just amorphous blobs and suffering 00:24:38.059 --> 00:24:41.759 if you had a bunch of like writhing yeah maggots 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:45.650 on your butt like a if the sarlacc pit was covered 00:24:45.650 --> 00:24:48.369 in maggots yeah and that's kind of what it looked 00:24:48.369 --> 00:24:51.150 like it was not done well enough for me to like 00:24:51.150 --> 00:24:53.190 that one they should have gotten a bunch of people 00:24:53.190 --> 00:24:54.990 and put them in sacks and painted them white 00:24:54.990 --> 00:24:56.529 and then had them right that would be pretty 00:24:56.529 --> 00:25:00.569 crazy if you got like 70 dancers in sex oh yeah 00:25:00.569 --> 00:25:03.690 and just really let them like go at it or well 00:25:03.690 --> 00:25:05.730 they'd be fucking in those sacks too by the way 00:25:05.730 --> 00:25:11.240 like the labyrinth when the hands Catch her on 00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:13.460 her way down and they talk. Those guys, that 00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:16.900 would have been interesting. That's effective. 00:25:17.579 --> 00:25:21.299 The weird CG butt bags did not do it. Oh, it 00:25:21.299 --> 00:25:23.400 would be so cool if they got those little flame 00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:29.059 Muppets from... And that was hell. Fire eaters. 00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:32.119 Thank you. That would be good. That's a good 00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:36.700 hell. That is hell. The main conflict in this 00:25:36.700 --> 00:25:42.160 film is between Joseph and it's just you know 00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:45.099 joseph or the carpenters you know mean to his 00:25:45.099 --> 00:25:50.259 son and then his son rebels and then uses his 00:25:50.259 --> 00:25:53.160 powers then the town comes after them and well 00:25:53.160 --> 00:25:57.440 he rebels because satan well and also like whispers 00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:01.240 in his ear yeah yeah true so it's just i mean 00:26:01.240 --> 00:26:03.880 it ultimately comes down to jesus is a teenage 00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:07.019 boy he's horny he he's you know peeping on his 00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:10.839 mute neighbor um oh yeah lilith and then yeah 00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:16.660 and then yeah and then you know uh you know uh 00:26:16.660 --> 00:26:19.440 satan comes and like whispers stuff in his ear 00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:21.839 and he's like you know you know come find me 00:26:21.839 --> 00:26:25.640 with all the sick people you know they fuck right 00:26:25.640 --> 00:26:29.140 i did like that the carpenter is tasked with 00:26:29.140 --> 00:26:33.279 making an idol and that like peeves jesus off 00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:35.059 because that's kind of god's whole thing you 00:26:35.059 --> 00:26:37.480 know Oh, you know, he didn't want to do it either 00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:40.119 because he's like a good holy, holy different 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:45.019 religion. Yeah. OK, here's what I fucking hate 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:47.779 in this or any movie where we're just supposed 00:26:47.779 --> 00:26:50.779 to feign disbelief that because everyone speaks 00:26:50.779 --> 00:26:53.920 English because it's an it's a movie filmed in 00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:56.980 English. There's always the scene where background 00:26:56.980 --> 00:27:01.339 people are speaking a different language. That 00:27:01.339 --> 00:27:04.150 was kind of weird. Yeah, I think they should 00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:06.910 have gone the full like Mel Gibson Passion of 00:27:06.910 --> 00:27:09.009 the Christ where everyone had to learn Aramaic 00:27:09.009 --> 00:27:12.329 or some shit. Yeah. Give me subtitles. I also 00:27:12.329 --> 00:27:17.210 just like subtitles. It might have kind of cleaned 00:27:17.210 --> 00:27:21.150 up Cage's performance. If he was speaking a different 00:27:21.150 --> 00:27:22.609 language, because then we wouldn't be looking 00:27:22.609 --> 00:27:25.549 at his face when he's talking. That's true. It 00:27:25.549 --> 00:27:29.390 was a little blocky. Yeah. I think FKA Twigs 00:27:29.390 --> 00:27:32.869 had probably the best line delivery of the three. 00:27:33.269 --> 00:27:35.690 Like she actually kind of got into more of a. 00:27:35.930 --> 00:27:38.490 When she finally had a rhythm. Room to speak. 00:27:38.630 --> 00:27:40.849 Yeah. Once she was allowed to speak. Because 00:27:40.849 --> 00:27:44.430 most of it is just her like in blue. To Josie's 00:27:44.430 --> 00:27:47.680 point, just like standing and looking. pouty 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:51.380 face pouty faced yeah yeah she is shockingly 00:27:51.380 --> 00:27:55.599 older than i thought she was i mean she's she's 00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:59.259 what like she's an adult 38 or something yeah 00:27:59.259 --> 00:28:02.700 yeah i assumed she was younger oh yeah she has 00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:05.619 a very young face yeah no yeah she's been on 00:28:05.619 --> 00:28:08.319 the scene for a while just not as much she was 00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:11.380 born in 88 oh okay so she's only like four years 00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:13.900 younger than us she made better choices than 00:28:13.900 --> 00:28:17.140 i did yeah she was in the crow remake so maybe 00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:22.420 she didn't oh yeah i didn't see that but it made 00:28:22.420 --> 00:28:26.380 me angry to look at the images of it oh yeah 00:28:26.380 --> 00:28:28.920 yeah everything i read about that movie is that 00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:31.720 it was not worth watching so well the original 00:28:31.720 --> 00:28:35.720 is one of my favorite movies so and the best 00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:42.299 soundtrack of ever yeah that's a good uh no spawn 00:28:42.299 --> 00:28:45.039 the motion picture did you did you look at that 00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:48.839 soundtrack of course i did no this okay one second 00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:50.859 uh talk amongst yourselves for a second i need 00:28:50.859 --> 00:28:54.319 to i'm gonna share this once i find it let's 00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:56.240 see i'm gonna look through my notes idolatry 00:28:56.240 --> 00:28:59.519 baby burn pile weird way of praying with claw 00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:01.619 hands oh yeah that was really weird that that 00:29:01.619 --> 00:29:03.279 pose that they would do when they were praying 00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:05.619 oh yeah it looks so fucking intense gripping 00:29:05.619 --> 00:29:10.940 the air grabbing god by the fucking nuts It's 00:29:10.940 --> 00:29:12.660 the best way to get his attention. Yeah, true. 00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:17.220 Yeah. So we had, you know, pretty much all of 00:29:17.220 --> 00:29:19.119 it. You know, I didn't fall asleep through this 00:29:19.119 --> 00:29:21.440 movie at all. See, I feel like that's a testament 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:24.539 to you left. I had a coughing fit and then I 00:29:24.539 --> 00:29:26.880 went and got a cider. I went and got a beer. 00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:30.579 Yeah. I stayed up through the whole thing. I 00:29:30.579 --> 00:29:33.579 almost fell asleep. I almost fell asleep during 00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:36.680 this movie. I fall asleep during almost every 00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:39.369 movie. Like early on in this film, like in the 00:29:39.369 --> 00:29:43.069 first 20 minutes, I was nodding off. The baby 00:29:43.069 --> 00:29:46.150 burn pile didn't get you going. Everything after 00:29:46.150 --> 00:29:48.750 that was just like, that's true. Fuck it. They 00:29:48.750 --> 00:29:50.289 started, they started, they came in hard. They 00:29:50.289 --> 00:29:52.490 came, they came in hard. Then it was all downhill 00:29:52.490 --> 00:29:55.630 until like, Jesus is like pulling snakes out 00:29:55.630 --> 00:29:58.579 of people's throats. Yeah. That was pretty cool, 00:29:58.599 --> 00:30:00.839 too. Those snakes had weird heads. They really 00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:03.079 did. Are those real? I think that is a type of 00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:06.319 actual snake. Oh, okay. Because I was like, I've 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:09.059 never seen anything like that before. It's a 00:30:09.059 --> 00:30:11.940 Saharan horned viper. Oh, okay. And it actually 00:30:11.940 --> 00:30:14.779 does look just like that. Yeah. Thick body and 00:30:14.779 --> 00:30:19.119 all. Thick with two Cs. It's apparently, like, 00:30:19.180 --> 00:30:22.839 science name is Sarastes sarastes. Awesome. I 00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:25.650 love a good double name. Yeah. That was the most 00:30:25.650 --> 00:30:28.450 egregious CG in the film and it wasn't terrible. 00:30:28.869 --> 00:30:33.450 The butt bags were worse than that. They're not 00:30:33.450 --> 00:30:35.809 in focus enough where I find that it was like 00:30:35.809 --> 00:30:40.250 that distracting. Fair enough. That scene with 00:30:40.250 --> 00:30:45.950 all of the people in chains and on the cross 00:30:45.950 --> 00:30:49.730 being crucified and stuff was crazy too. Like, 00:30:49.730 --> 00:30:54.579 why? Why were they there? Yeah. All of them. 00:30:54.619 --> 00:30:57.160 Is that. That's pretty much it. Who decides that 00:30:57.160 --> 00:30:59.220 though? Like they didn't really. Who decides 00:30:59.220 --> 00:31:03.079 it now? The Pharisees. Yeah. Yeah. But they're 00:31:03.079 --> 00:31:05.720 like out in the middle of nowhere. It was sort 00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:07.160 of the middle of nowhere. It was weird that they 00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:10.000 had like a whole, you know. Plus there was that. 00:31:10.099 --> 00:31:12.240 Gibbet. Sort of thing. Other religion with the. 00:31:12.980 --> 00:31:16.259 Right. With the weird like beard god. Yeah. What 00:31:16.259 --> 00:31:20.000 was. Whose religion were they sinning? That's 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:21.619 a. That's actually a pretty good fucking point. 00:31:22.059 --> 00:31:26.539 Yeah. I do like how Jesus's ultimate way of rebelling 00:31:26.539 --> 00:31:29.079 against his father is like, I'm going to go. 00:31:29.099 --> 00:31:31.140 I'm going to go commit some miracles. You can't 00:31:31.140 --> 00:31:36.700 stop me. Yeah. What a rebel. But that does bring 00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:39.480 us to when he just fucking kills that kid who's 00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:40.799 going to. Well, I was going to say before that. 00:31:41.460 --> 00:31:45.319 Yeah. The carpenter and the mother are like going 00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:48.019 to skip town. And then the carpenter goes to 00:31:48.019 --> 00:31:50.319 find their son. And then Mary just gets cold 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:55.599 cocked. oh yeah i forgot about that and then 00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:59.420 yeah then we have uh yeah uh one of the one of 00:31:59.420 --> 00:32:02.200 the local boys uh local children that uh jesus 00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:06.359 is like a tutor of or like meets in the class 00:32:06.359 --> 00:32:10.359 with or something yeah um spies spies the boy 00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:13.640 like in the forest and yells you know he's here 00:32:13.640 --> 00:32:17.450 and then jesus snipes him with you know his force 00:32:17.450 --> 00:32:22.910 powers his mind bullets his mind bullets that's 00:32:22.910 --> 00:32:28.950 telekinesis kyle and then uh satan and jesus 00:32:28.950 --> 00:32:32.589 fucking uh fucking throw hands they have a good 00:32:32.589 --> 00:32:35.869 tussle yeah i like when i fight i like when it 00:32:35.869 --> 00:32:40.500 cuts into like uh joseph's view right and you 00:32:40.500 --> 00:32:44.180 can see like weird creepy like old lady yeah 00:32:44.180 --> 00:32:46.819 yeah i couldn't tell i mean i think satan is 00:32:46.819 --> 00:32:50.000 very like gender ambiguous for everybody right 00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:52.099 and yeah i couldn't tell if that was supposed 00:32:52.099 --> 00:32:54.740 to be like an older lady or an older dude even 00:32:54.740 --> 00:32:57.740 the little girl is kind of ambiguous which fingernails 00:32:57.740 --> 00:33:01.000 for sure it's very yeah ambiguous uh in terms 00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:05.119 of gender because you know If there was one thing 00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.220 the Christians are scared of, it's us non -binaries. 00:33:08.220 --> 00:33:10.119 That's probably why everyone's up in arms. It's 00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:12.019 like, this isn't a bad portrayal of Jesus, I 00:33:12.019 --> 00:33:16.079 don't think. It's just too scary. One of the 00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:17.900 things that I thought was kind of a cool effect, 00:33:18.039 --> 00:33:22.579 speaking of all the cutting scars on Satan, was 00:33:22.579 --> 00:33:25.900 as it progressed, those started to open up. Oh, 00:33:25.900 --> 00:33:28.680 yeah. As we got to the climax of the entire film, 00:33:28.759 --> 00:33:31.599 they were like gaped wounds. Yeah, they were 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:34.619 pretty gross. Yeah. bloody hands and faces and 00:33:34.619 --> 00:33:40.700 stuff yeah when when jesus and uh and satan were 00:33:40.700 --> 00:33:42.640 uh were throwing down in the theaters when i 00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:45.720 finally kind of like lost lost it and started 00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:50.200 audibly laughing at the film i laughed a couple 00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:52.680 i i at least laughed once i don't remember what 00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:55.420 it was about same yeah I was trying to remember 00:33:55.420 --> 00:33:57.619 and it just completely. It was something that 00:33:57.619 --> 00:34:01.240 was totally heavy handed. It was when the carpenter 00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:05.920 died and yeah, like a little halo appears around 00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:11.860 his head. I really wanted him to like be one 00:34:11.860 --> 00:34:16.039 of the weasels that laughs themselves to death. 00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:20.179 And then he would have like. his ghost just floated 00:34:20.179 --> 00:34:22.239 up that would have been that's what it was incredible 00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:25.440 yeah because that's what i thought of roger rabbit 00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:27.980 is amazing yeah i need to re -watch that i bet 00:34:27.980 --> 00:34:30.719 the dogs would go crazy if we watched it though 00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:34.639 because the weasels probably let their control 00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:37.039 of that lapse like it went back to the original 00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:41.559 went back to the uh creator interesting who apparently 00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:43.860 now wants to make a live action Jessica Rabbit 00:34:43.860 --> 00:34:46.760 movie. So I feel like that guy doesn't know what 00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:49.679 to do with that property. I'm on board for this. 00:34:49.840 --> 00:34:52.659 Everything about this seems correct to me. She 00:34:52.659 --> 00:34:58.000 will fall over and break an ankle. So my main 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:01.980 question at the end of all of this was, ultimately, 00:35:02.019 --> 00:35:05.179 who is this movie for? Because I don't know. 00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:08.059 Because the way it was originally kind of... 00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:10.800 sold from what i understood was this is supposed 00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:14.340 to be like a horror horror movie i mean that's 00:35:14.340 --> 00:35:16.840 certainly how they presented it in trailers yeah 00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:20.480 well and there are certainly elements near the 00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:23.260 end that i think the nature of the story itself 00:35:23.260 --> 00:35:25.980 kind of just lends itself to that sort of like 00:35:25.980 --> 00:35:30.239 supernatural scare um i'm not no i'm not saying 00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:33.079 this movie was scary at all it's not no but um 00:35:33.079 --> 00:35:36.340 it felt like like near the end they had a little 00:35:36.340 --> 00:35:40.719 bit of that sort of uh supernatural tension and 00:35:40.719 --> 00:35:43.219 i liked that i liked it when it when it was doing 00:35:43.219 --> 00:35:45.619 that i wish the movie had more of that throughout 00:35:45.619 --> 00:35:48.820 it uh it seemed to really kind of just come up 00:35:48.820 --> 00:35:50.699 in the end like the first two -thirds of the 00:35:50.699 --> 00:35:56.039 movie are joseph being a dick and like praying 00:35:56.039 --> 00:36:00.199 a lot and jesus being a kid like touching lepers 00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:07.119 this almost seems like the ip ran uh what's the 00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:10.500 copyright or whatever that is public domain the 00:36:10.500 --> 00:36:15.500 public domain ran out on this so because there's 00:36:15.500 --> 00:36:19.139 steamboat willie there is a horror movie about 00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:24.039 steamboat blood and honey so maybe it's time 00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:27.000 for the bible so maybe we're gonna get like lots 00:36:27.809 --> 00:36:32.389 here's here's our new one jesus the pope forgot 00:36:32.389 --> 00:36:35.309 to mail out a check at the end of the year it's 00:36:35.309 --> 00:36:40.909 like oh no jesus is public domain we lost all 00:36:40.909 --> 00:36:43.969 those bible stories there's gonna be so many 00:36:43.969 --> 00:36:47.730 different like weird teen christ stuff yeah this 00:36:47.730 --> 00:36:51.110 is like skateboarding jesus i love fucking radical 00:36:51.110 --> 00:36:53.769 you're gonna get like jesus peeing on things 00:36:53.769 --> 00:36:55.889 they're gonna replace calvin yeah on the back 00:36:55.889 --> 00:37:02.829 of trucks some god nuts yeah i don't know i've 00:37:02.829 --> 00:37:04.789 said what i have to say about this film it it's 00:37:04.789 --> 00:37:11.030 fine i did not enjoy it so i had never like heard 00:37:11.030 --> 00:37:14.050 anything like i i knew these things this story 00:37:14.050 --> 00:37:16.889 existed but i didn't know anything about it uh 00:37:16.889 --> 00:37:21.349 sean have you ever read any of the uh infancy 00:37:21.349 --> 00:37:26.250 gospel of thomas no no peter have you read or 00:37:26.250 --> 00:37:30.730 heard any of it very little so i wanted to know 00:37:30.730 --> 00:37:33.389 about it and i was like really trying to think 00:37:33.389 --> 00:37:36.969 like what am i gonna like talk about with this 00:37:36.969 --> 00:37:40.869 one um first i was like i'll just troll the christian 00:37:40.869 --> 00:37:42.349 subreddits and i was like that's not very fun 00:37:42.349 --> 00:37:49.389 so i lowercase l learned about the uh the infancy 00:37:49.389 --> 00:37:51.650 gospel of thomas which is what this movie is 00:37:51.650 --> 00:37:56.190 kind of like based on like that is the the general 00:37:56.190 --> 00:37:59.769 gist of it and so i watched two youtube videos 00:37:59.769 --> 00:38:03.110 and i read the wikipedia page for it and boy 00:38:03.110 --> 00:38:08.070 howdy is it super cool i fucking love the infancy 00:38:08.070 --> 00:38:14.929 gospel of thomas and i'm going to read you the 00:38:14.929 --> 00:38:17.309 notes that i took while i was learning about 00:38:17.309 --> 00:38:21.710 it so It all starts when some dude catches five 00:38:21.710 --> 00:38:24.329 year old Jesus playing in the mud. He was like 00:38:24.329 --> 00:38:28.110 making clay on the Sabbath. That dude reprimands 00:38:28.110 --> 00:38:33.730 Joseph and Joseph's like, you know, hey, Jesus, 00:38:33.789 --> 00:38:35.969 you know, you can't be doing that. And Jesus 00:38:35.969 --> 00:38:38.550 says to the dude who reprimanded Joseph, he's 00:38:38.550 --> 00:38:41.329 like, your fruit will have no root and your shoot 00:38:41.329 --> 00:38:43.869 will be withered like a scorched branch in the 00:38:43.869 --> 00:38:50.809 wind and then fucking kills the dude's kid. jesus 00:38:50.809 --> 00:38:53.969 is like fucking talk to me like that boom now 00:38:53.969 --> 00:38:59.070 your kid's dead end of the line i did enjoy the 00:38:59.070 --> 00:39:02.150 film when uh jesus gets pissed off with the uh 00:39:02.150 --> 00:39:05.710 with the teacher with the priest um And like 00:39:05.710 --> 00:39:07.329 the priest brings him back to Joseph. It's like, 00:39:07.349 --> 00:39:09.210 you know, your child knows things he should not 00:39:09.210 --> 00:39:11.550 know. It's like, what did you say to him? I told 00:39:11.550 --> 00:39:17.750 him when he would die. Jesus went hard. So let 00:39:17.750 --> 00:39:20.070 me burn through this because I got like three 00:39:20.070 --> 00:39:24.710 pages. But I want to talk about my research. 00:39:25.070 --> 00:39:28.619 Yeah. uh that sounds like the spawn soundtrack 00:39:28.619 --> 00:39:32.300 uh so the village boy some other village boy 00:39:32.300 --> 00:39:34.920 is running past and he bumps into five -year 00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:39.019 -old jesus and like doesn't apologize or something 00:39:39.019 --> 00:39:43.699 so jesus turns and he says curse be you because 00:39:43.699 --> 00:39:46.340 of your leader i don't know And kills that boy 00:39:46.340 --> 00:39:49.659 in the street, too. Damn. Yeah. Little five year 00:39:49.659 --> 00:39:51.880 old Jesus was a fucking serial killer. I mean, 00:39:51.880 --> 00:39:54.400 I will tell you, kids are crazy. Yeah. And you 00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:58.219 give a kid God powers, God powers. It is God 00:39:58.219 --> 00:40:03.099 who has zero like personal skills. Like also 00:40:03.099 --> 00:40:06.059 Old Testament, God was a dick. You murk people 00:40:06.059 --> 00:40:08.000 all the time. Yeah, it was like this whole thing. 00:40:08.039 --> 00:40:10.019 So you just put that in a five year old's body, 00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:13.619 like full comprehension of everything. And like. 00:40:14.780 --> 00:40:17.559 normal god doesn't take shit why would five -year 00:40:17.559 --> 00:40:21.320 -old god take shit so some villagers see that 00:40:21.320 --> 00:40:23.679 and they get pissed and they tell joseph that 00:40:23.679 --> 00:40:28.159 like the family's gotta go and so jesus this 00:40:28.159 --> 00:40:29.980 is like the last time i'm gonna pull a quote 00:40:29.980 --> 00:40:33.800 from the the translations but jesus says to joseph 00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:36.920 since you know wise words you're not ignorant 00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:40.280 of where they come from they were spoken of a 00:40:40.280 --> 00:40:42.920 five -year -old and they won't be raised and 00:40:42.920 --> 00:40:46.639 they will receive their punishment. So he's basically 00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:48.420 like, you're going to let these motherfuckers 00:40:48.420 --> 00:40:51.280 talk to a kid like that. I'm going to punish 00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:54.280 them now. And to punish all the villagers for 00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:56.880 calling him out on shit that they all saw murder. 00:40:57.059 --> 00:40:59.659 He makes them all go blind. He's like, yeah, 00:40:59.659 --> 00:41:00.900 I'm not going to kill you, but I'll make this 00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:04.039 whole village go blind. Jesus. Yeah. So what 00:41:04.039 --> 00:41:07.539 I'm getting is the new Testament is just Jesus 00:41:07.539 --> 00:41:09.949 pulling in. My name is Earl. Yeah, pretty much. 00:41:10.630 --> 00:41:15.289 So some dude like Zacharias or something tries 00:41:15.289 --> 00:41:18.909 to tutor Jesus, but then he's like, fuck that. 00:41:19.469 --> 00:41:22.090 Jesus is like, fuck that. You're a worm to me. 00:41:22.130 --> 00:41:26.150 You don't know shit. You can't even possibly 00:41:26.150 --> 00:41:31.449 come to my level of learning. And he gets all 00:41:31.449 --> 00:41:33.750 arrogant and tells the village, I was playing 00:41:33.750 --> 00:41:36.070 with you because I know you're small -minded 00:41:36.070 --> 00:41:39.599 and amazed with small things. oh yeah sorry that 00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:42.059 was my last quote from this and that's when i 00:41:42.059 --> 00:41:44.559 realized that the gop really is the party of 00:41:44.559 --> 00:41:49.519 jesus but everybody's like okay and then fucks 00:41:49.519 --> 00:41:50.860 off they're like totally fine with it they're 00:41:50.860 --> 00:41:53.579 like well yeah okay all right we're small -minded 00:41:53.579 --> 00:41:57.760 people that's what we get so jesus goes with 00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:01.800 uh zach and but he's like a shitty student because 00:42:01.800 --> 00:42:06.480 he already knows everything so he And has a dick 00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:09.539 attitude. Yeah. So he chews Zacharias out and 00:42:09.539 --> 00:42:13.739 then he does it so effectively that Zacharias 00:42:13.739 --> 00:42:17.079 becomes his student. And then he gets so stupid, 00:42:17.119 --> 00:42:19.579 like he feels so stupid about everything that 00:42:19.579 --> 00:42:22.800 he quits teaching forever. This little five year 00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:25.820 old just owns you so bad that you're like a grown 00:42:25.820 --> 00:42:29.199 ass, like, you know, educated Jewish man. And 00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:31.280 you're like, I can't, you know, I can never teach 00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:37.820 letters again. And so Jesus was like, well, he's 00:42:37.820 --> 00:42:39.559 like, watch this and makes all the blind people 00:42:39.559 --> 00:42:43.420 see again. And he brings back all the kids that 00:42:43.420 --> 00:42:46.599 he killed and nobody fucked with Jesus anymore. 00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:51.239 They're just like, OK, well, clearly we don't 00:42:51.239 --> 00:42:55.260 fuck with that one. So time goes on and Jesus 00:42:55.260 --> 00:42:57.159 is up like playing on a roof. He's like eight 00:42:57.159 --> 00:42:59.480 now. Time goes on and he's like playing on a 00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:02.070 roof with some other kid. it's you know those 00:43:02.070 --> 00:43:05.449 flat roof houses and this kid falls off the roof 00:43:05.449 --> 00:43:09.369 while they're playing and the parents blame jesus 00:43:09.369 --> 00:43:11.849 they're like oh i mean you've got a track record 00:43:11.849 --> 00:43:15.170 uh you totally killed our kid and jesus was like 00:43:15.170 --> 00:43:18.989 it wasn't me And so he goes down to the shower. 00:43:19.769 --> 00:43:25.710 It wasn't me. Exactly. He pulls a shaggy. So 00:43:25.710 --> 00:43:28.050 he goes down to the street where the kid's still 00:43:28.050 --> 00:43:31.250 fucking laying and he brings the kid back to 00:43:31.250 --> 00:43:34.710 life just so the kid will tell his parents that 00:43:34.710 --> 00:43:37.809 Jesus didn't kill him. And then like while the 00:43:37.809 --> 00:43:39.869 parents are like so ecstatic to have their kid 00:43:39.869 --> 00:43:43.369 back, he lets the kid die again. He's just like. 00:43:43.710 --> 00:43:45.409 that's it you can go back to death because it 00:43:45.409 --> 00:43:46.889 was a natural death natural death it was meant 00:43:46.889 --> 00:43:51.190 to be jesus cast speak with dead yeah yeah five 00:43:51.190 --> 00:43:53.269 questions that's the you know what i know my 00:43:53.269 --> 00:43:54.989 dnd five questions is all you get that's all 00:43:54.989 --> 00:43:57.630 you get yeah jesus asked five times did i kill 00:43:57.630 --> 00:44:03.269 you and he's like no no no so uh jesus was kind 00:44:03.269 --> 00:44:06.210 of like right about stuff and he does some like 00:44:06.210 --> 00:44:11.050 crazy miracles and stuff like uh my favorite 00:44:11.050 --> 00:44:14.239 one here is like he He literally stretched the 00:44:14.239 --> 00:44:17.639 length of some of his dad's lumber so that the 00:44:17.639 --> 00:44:20.440 wood would be the right length for a project 00:44:20.440 --> 00:44:22.800 he was making. Like it was too short. So just 00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:24.940 like in the movie, he made those shelves too 00:44:24.940 --> 00:44:29.420 short because he's a shitty carpenter. So he 00:44:29.420 --> 00:44:33.400 did that, which was pretty cool. And apparently 00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:36.960 he never learned to read. in these like they 00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:40.719 three times they try to get teachers for Jesus 00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:42.420 to teach him how to read like he knows all this 00:44:42.420 --> 00:44:45.099 stuff and like at one point like somebody tries 00:44:45.099 --> 00:44:47.840 to teach him his letters and he goes so hard 00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:51.820 on this guy like he gives like the most like 00:44:51.820 --> 00:44:55.340 divine description of the very first letter of 00:44:55.340 --> 00:44:57.840 the alphabet like enough to like make this guy 00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:00.300 like shatters his soul he's like how can I know 00:45:00.300 --> 00:45:03.300 anything when this guy knows like the shape and 00:45:03.300 --> 00:45:07.250 the rhythm and the like the the like depth of 00:45:07.250 --> 00:45:11.369 you think you know the letter a alpha like jesus 00:45:11.369 --> 00:45:15.610 christ so uh joseph gets him like a second teacher 00:45:15.610 --> 00:45:18.469 after zach uh this guy's name is levi if i remember 00:45:18.469 --> 00:45:22.829 right uh and this teacher fights jesus and totally 00:45:22.829 --> 00:45:26.929 slaps him so jesus just straight kills him i'm 00:45:26.929 --> 00:45:29.349 still hung up on how we went from jesus cast 00:45:29.349 --> 00:45:32.849 speak with dead to performing miracles Like stretching 00:45:32.849 --> 00:45:39.710 wood. Bring back the dead. Close up magic. So 00:45:39.710 --> 00:45:42.829 after he kills his second teacher, Levi, Joseph 00:45:42.829 --> 00:45:47.010 and Mary ground him. So they lock him in the 00:45:47.010 --> 00:45:49.809 house. You're not allowed to leave the house 00:45:49.809 --> 00:45:51.949 because you keep fucking killing people. Don't 00:45:51.949 --> 00:45:53.829 do any close up magic on this fucking lock. It's 00:45:53.829 --> 00:45:56.050 very hardcore. Don't even think about moving 00:45:56.050 --> 00:46:01.119 my two by four either. So after that, a third 00:46:01.119 --> 00:46:04.820 dude is like, you know what? I think I got this. 00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:07.679 I could change him. I can teach Jesus. So Jesus 00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:10.159 goes to school like he just comes in and he's 00:46:10.159 --> 00:46:12.440 like complimentary and he's nice to Jesus. And 00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:15.639 so Jesus goes to school with him and he just 00:46:15.639 --> 00:46:18.880 impresses everybody. And the teacher, like instead 00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:20.860 of like trying to get him to do what he wants, 00:46:20.900 --> 00:46:22.380 he's just like, oh, yeah, go on, like speak your 00:46:22.380 --> 00:46:25.739 mind, like just just do it. And so Jesus just 00:46:25.739 --> 00:46:30.199 kept speaking and the teachers. say he did like 00:46:30.199 --> 00:46:33.679 great and essentially it's like you graduated 00:46:33.679 --> 00:46:36.960 so he went to school for a day and the teachers 00:46:36.960 --> 00:46:39.699 were like you got it all man we don't need to 00:46:39.699 --> 00:46:42.400 do anything everybody claps as he leaves and 00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:46.809 he probably he's like homecoming prince amongst 00:46:46.809 --> 00:46:49.190 men all those rivals are wiping a tear of joy 00:46:49.190 --> 00:46:52.849 out of their eyes god i begrudgingly love this 00:46:52.849 --> 00:46:56.590 okay so his last two teachers went blitheringly 00:46:56.590 --> 00:46:59.230 insane third teacher was like you're good you 00:46:59.230 --> 00:47:01.489 graduate here's your diploma leave yeah i guess 00:47:01.489 --> 00:47:05.269 smart yeah and so they were just cool so as like 00:47:05.269 --> 00:47:08.269 a i don't know like a parting gift to the school 00:47:08.269 --> 00:47:10.869 jesus was like you know you were cool so i'll 00:47:10.869 --> 00:47:13.889 bring back that last teacher that i killed like 00:47:13.889 --> 00:47:18.340 teacher three you're cool I'll let Levi come 00:47:18.340 --> 00:47:20.760 back. So he does. And he does more like good 00:47:20.760 --> 00:47:22.960 miracles and stuff. And everybody decided that 00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:26.119 he was holy or something. But yeah, so he like 00:47:26.119 --> 00:47:29.239 he gets all like holy and stuff. And so one time, 00:47:29.260 --> 00:47:32.320 like his parents and he were going to like Jerusalem 00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:35.920 for Passover. And when they were leaving, Jesus 00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:37.760 was just like, you know what I'm going to do? 00:47:38.619 --> 00:47:41.480 I'm going to fucking hide out. and stay and they 00:47:41.480 --> 00:47:43.380 leave without him and they just don't realize 00:47:43.380 --> 00:47:45.260 like they think he was in the back of the wagon 00:47:45.260 --> 00:47:48.800 home alone yeah he home alone himself in jerusalem 00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:53.820 and joe pesci shows up and they figure out he's 00:47:53.820 --> 00:47:56.460 not there they like run back to go find him and 00:47:56.460 --> 00:47:59.679 jesus was just like they looked for him for like 00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:02.300 three days and tell me he threw a party they 00:48:02.300 --> 00:48:04.519 found him in one of the temples and he was just 00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:07.059 surrounded by all the like priests and scholars 00:48:07.059 --> 00:48:10.849 giving like theological just like debates and 00:48:10.849 --> 00:48:13.469 like not being mean but like talking to people 00:48:13.469 --> 00:48:15.389 and like going back and forth the few things 00:48:15.389 --> 00:48:17.710 that's actually in like regular new testament 00:48:17.710 --> 00:48:20.670 too yeah so and some of these things are actually 00:48:20.670 --> 00:48:25.869 like also referenced in the quran and uh the 00:48:25.869 --> 00:48:28.909 the torah maybe i don't remember i don't know 00:48:28.909 --> 00:48:31.349 no probably not the torah yeah that kind of predates 00:48:31.349 --> 00:48:34.860 this yeah um other things though But so his parents 00:48:34.860 --> 00:48:36.179 chew him out for sneaking off. It's in Torah 00:48:36.179 --> 00:48:41.820 2. Torah 2. The revenge. He just kind of brushes 00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:44.460 it off. And then like a bunch of ladies were 00:48:44.460 --> 00:48:47.239 like, oh, my God, to marry. They're like, oh, 00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:49.739 my God, you birthed God. You're so cool and great. 00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:53.300 And that's where she kind of gets into her like. 00:48:53.869 --> 00:48:57.510 super cool like i'm the mother of god like uh 00:48:57.510 --> 00:49:02.690 state yeah and so everybody that's the one yeah 00:49:02.690 --> 00:49:05.289 then yeah and then everybody's cool and jesus 00:49:05.289 --> 00:49:09.170 stops acting like a bitch so part of that was 00:49:09.170 --> 00:49:13.230 a retelling of what sean went through in the 00:49:13.230 --> 00:49:15.900 first grade I was going to say, I'm like, am 00:49:15.900 --> 00:49:20.159 I Jesus? Yeah. How many of your teachers did 00:49:20.159 --> 00:49:23.659 you kill and then bring back? Oh, none of them. 00:49:23.659 --> 00:49:26.280 None of them have been brought back. Bring back 00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:31.780 Sister Amanda. All right, Josie, what are your 00:49:31.780 --> 00:49:36.219 final thoughts on this one? I would rewatch it 00:49:36.219 --> 00:49:39.699 just to see what I actually missed now that I 00:49:39.699 --> 00:49:44.250 know more things. i want that movie it was super 00:49:44.250 --> 00:49:47.829 vague yeah i want this mixed with bright burn 00:49:47.829 --> 00:49:51.969 oh my god i mean that's kind of what this is 00:49:51.969 --> 00:49:54.530 and it's what i feel like it's spiritually what 00:49:54.530 --> 00:49:59.190 it spiritually what it wants to be but yeah no 00:49:59.190 --> 00:50:02.429 i feel like it needs to go harder one way or 00:50:02.429 --> 00:50:05.369 the other it's very middle of the road until 00:50:05.369 --> 00:50:08.190 the last the third act is when it's like this 00:50:08.190 --> 00:50:09.730 is the movie we should have had the whole time 00:50:10.510 --> 00:50:13.010 Yeah, I want more moody team Jesus. I wanted 00:50:13.010 --> 00:50:16.090 more horror elements. I know you guys aren't 00:50:16.090 --> 00:50:18.889 horror people, but I am. So you can do some fucked 00:50:18.889 --> 00:50:20.389 up shit with that. You're right. It's like do 00:50:20.389 --> 00:50:23.989 more like crazy murking people off or like miracles, 00:50:24.050 --> 00:50:26.349 you know, like both of those things are fascinating 00:50:26.349 --> 00:50:29.429 to watch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just have Jesus like 00:50:29.429 --> 00:50:35.860 wither somebody. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. all right 00:50:35.860 --> 00:50:38.559 so uh on the cage oh on the cage spectrum good 00:50:38.559 --> 00:50:40.559 cage bad cage bad cage good cage good bad bad 00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:46.659 good i'm going bad cage yeah yeah that's fair 00:50:46.659 --> 00:50:50.659 that's fair yeah i mean just because he's a carpenter 00:50:50.659 --> 00:50:53.059 it doesn't like it doesn't excuse those wooden 00:50:53.059 --> 00:50:59.360 wooden deliveries like my faith is shaken but 00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:02.300 i mean like That's pretty cool because Joseph 00:51:02.300 --> 00:51:05.000 was a total dick about religion in the in the 00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:06.960 text as well. That's true. So it's like, well, 00:51:07.059 --> 00:51:09.280 I mean, like, really, everything's pretty close. 00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:15.420 It just missed. Shitty cage, like an OK movie. 00:51:15.780 --> 00:51:18.440 Yeah, I'm with it. I would watch it again. I'm 00:51:18.440 --> 00:51:22.820 curious, but there's no chance that I would ever 00:51:22.820 --> 00:51:25.670 watch this movie. If not for the cast that it 00:51:25.670 --> 00:51:28.750 has. We could get some peyote and watch it. I'm 00:51:28.750 --> 00:51:30.369 sure that would make this movie interesting. 00:51:30.750 --> 00:51:32.610 Yeah, we can watch more of that. Like Horned 00:51:32.610 --> 00:51:36.949 Snake. Yeah. Horny Snake. Here was the research 00:51:36.949 --> 00:51:39.530 I did after watching this movie. Google. Did 00:51:39.530 --> 00:51:42.889 Jesus ever kill someone with the force? AI overview? 00:51:43.090 --> 00:51:46.110 No. According to the canonical gospels, Jesus 00:51:46.110 --> 00:51:48.949 did not kill anyone with the force. Yeah. So 00:51:48.949 --> 00:51:50.809 you got to ask Grok on Twitter. It'll tell you 00:51:50.809 --> 00:51:54.670 that Elon Musk is like hotter than Jesus or that 00:51:54.670 --> 00:51:58.590 Jesus was a Nazi or that Jesus was a Nazi. Whatever. 00:51:58.909 --> 00:52:03.789 I would give this one a skip. Fair enough. I 00:52:03.789 --> 00:52:06.969 mean, it made no money for it again. Well, not 00:52:06.969 --> 00:52:11.090 many people did. It made one hundred thousand 00:52:11.090 --> 00:52:15.489 dollars. Oh. I had so many like I had such a 00:52:15.489 --> 00:52:17.570 hard time finding this film playing at a reasonable 00:52:17.570 --> 00:52:20.150 hour, like most nights I couldn't find a screening 00:52:20.150 --> 00:52:25.090 before 10 p .m. Sunday, there was like I found 00:52:25.090 --> 00:52:28.250 a 630 showing, but I had to drive out to Tiger 00:52:28.250 --> 00:52:32.110 to like. See it, which is just like that's a 00:52:32.110 --> 00:52:34.250 weird amount of like distance to drive for a 00:52:34.250 --> 00:52:38.210 movie I don't want to see. But are obligated 00:52:38.210 --> 00:52:44.429 to see. Yeah, this is my cross to bear. That's 00:52:44.429 --> 00:52:45.010 all folks. That's all I got. And now it's everyone 00:52:45.010 --> 00:52:47.670 else's cross to bear. Yeah. Well, thank you all 00:52:47.670 --> 00:52:50.170 for listening. And next up, we actually are going 00:52:50.170 --> 00:52:51.750 to do Grindhouse. I know I said that last time, 00:52:51.829 --> 00:52:53.889 but then this movie came up and I had forgotten 00:52:53.889 --> 00:52:56.690 that it was on the agenda. So Grindhouse coming 00:52:56.690 --> 00:52:59.829 up with Cage Dancer John. So thank you to our 00:52:59.829 --> 00:53:02.130 Sparkle Buddies, Josh, Josie. Hello, Josie. That's 00:53:02.130 --> 00:53:04.289 me. That's you. Thanks, Josie. Matt, Adam, Bill, 00:53:04.409 --> 00:53:06.110 Stuart, and Willow. And to our Cage Dancers, 00:53:06.190 --> 00:53:08.489 John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. And to Bill 00:53:08.489 --> 00:53:11.230 Panks for our intro music. Yeah, I don't know. 00:53:12.530 --> 00:53:18.530 yay jesus hey boo satan don't forget kids they 00:53:18.530 --> 00:53:20.530 pay us enough money and you can be on our show 00:53:20.530 --> 00:53:46.510 too that's right once one time Does he know this 00:53:46.510 --> 00:53:53.269 one? Only the good ones know the thumb trick. 00:53:53.489 --> 00:53:55.610 I think that was on one of the scrolls that I 00:53:55.610 --> 00:53:56.550 didn't catch on Wikipedia.