Welcome to Cage Match, co -laid, a one -of -a
-way, a Weedy McLeish Cage. I'm your host, Cora,
with my co -host, Nick, is our producer. Peter,
hello. Well, welcome, Cora. We're really excited
to have you on the podcast. Yeah, this is real
exciting. So what movie did we watch? The Ant
Bully. The Ant Bully, that's right. What did
you think of The Ant Bully? Was it good? Yeah.
Yeah. Did you have a favorite character? The
one that was helping that boy. Oh, okay. So Hova.
Hova. Yeah, she liked Hova because Hova was a
nice lady who helped out Lucas, who was sometimes
not a nice boy. No, but Hova was very sweet.
She was very nice to him. Yeah. Did you have
any moments that you thought were really scary?
No. Wasps. The wasps. What did you think of the
wasps? I thought they were pretty neat. You know,
pretty intense. The weird color palette for them.
Yeah. The black and purple. Very menacing. They
did try to eat them. And what did they have on
their on their butt end? Yeah. What was on their
butts? A stinger. A stinger. Yeah, that's right.
So let's see. Did you have any other characters
that you really liked? There was one that was
really pretty. Do you remember? Which one? The
queen. You thought she was really good. She had
the big butterfly wings that kind of came out.
Yeah. What did you think about Lucas, the boy?
I didn't like Lucas. Yeah, why didn't you like
him? Was he a jerk? Yeah. Yeah, he was a little
bit of a stinker, wasn't he? Yeah. But did he
learn to be good at some point? So I made friends
with Lucas. Yeah? Yeah. Was it because Hova and
the other ants helped him and he learned? What
did you think about... What was his name that
made friends? Well, it was Hova and Lugax or
something like that. Yeah, something like that.
And Zok was the one that you didn't really like.
That's Nicolas Cage's character. Yeah, the wizard.
Yeah. He was kind of grumpy, wasn't he? Yeah.
Yeah, he was a grumpy guy. He was pretty grumpy.
He was kind of, but then they were friends. They
did become friends, you're right, when they were
up on that mushroom. Yeah, both of them grew
and they... They learned from each other. Yeah.
Yeah, that's very good. Learned to be accepting.
What was one of your favorite parts from the
movie? A giant frog that was eating... Lucas.
Lucas. Yeah. Did you like when the frog came
up out of the water? And you saw just its eyeballs
go... It was pretty cool when they were in the
frog's stomach, wasn't it? I did like when...
Wait, what was his name? Are you talking about
the guy in red? Yeah, you liked this part. So
Stan Beals, the bad guy, the exterminator. What
did you like about that part? When he got stuck,
I mean, got stung from the wasp. Yeah, where
did he get stung? On the butt. He did get stung
on the butt. That was pretty good. Hey, speaking
of butt stuff, did you like it when they were
eating the bug poop? do you remember when lucas
turned green yeah when they were eating that
meal and then he got sick because he realized
it was caterpillar poop yeah it was bug poop
i'm pretty high that part wasn't as impactful
as the butt stinger no i mean butt stinger is
pretty good i really liked butt stinger Cora,
do you have other movies that you like? This
is only maybe the, like, 10th movie you've ever
seen in your life. Whoa. Yeah. Top 10 movie.
Yeah, that's true. What are some movies that
you do like that you think are great? Elsa. Okay,
so what's that movie called? Frozen. Yeah. What's
the one with Maui? Moana. Yeah, you liked that
one. Did you like Lilo and Stitch? Yeah. Yeah.
What's another one that you've liked that you've
seen? Rapunzel. Oh, that one has, yeah, called
Tangled. I like that one with Pascal. Yeah. That's
a fun one. That's pretty cool. I haven't seen
that one. I'll have to check it out. It's actually
pretty good. Frozen 2. And Frozen 2. That's a
total hit for sure. Very good. Yeah. All right.
Do you have anything else that you want to say
to our very important listeners? Hey, Cora. Thanks
so much for being on our podcast. Oh, God. We
have a guest this week. We do not. We have a
LaBuzzy, though. Yeah. And it gets a microphone.
It has lots of things to say. All of them are
racist. Yeah, exactly. Hopefully. Gotta give
me a break. Yeah, someone's gotta shoulder that
cross. Yeah. So, Monday in the office, my cubicle
mate, Carrie, made me legit cackle. And I was
glad that the office was mostly our coworker
Alyssa's last day before, well, last day in the
office because she's about to pop. And they were
talking about ways to like induce labor. And
Carrie's like, you should get like a bouncy ball
for your desk. Alyssa was like, I'm not trying
to do that here. I'm not trying to like induce
here. And Carrie's like, why not? We need new
carpet. And I lost it. I mean, that is actually
pretty good. That would be so gross, though.
Imagine how long you'd have to look at that stain
before they fixed it. Oh, yeah. And they'd be
gone, so it would just be right there at an empty
desk. No, when I still lived in Seattle and came
to Portland, one of the first times I brought,
when I first had Ben, I brought him down with
me for one trip and had him at my cubicle. And
up to moving here, I would still find bits of
kibble on the carpet. Oh, man. Yeah, people don't
do like lots of real good deep cleaning or fixing
of things for the most part. Like we ended up
Barrett and Cora were born in the same room at
the same hospital. And I can confirm this because
I remember like being delirious when Cora was
being born and staring at this weird like damage
on the wall. And it was definitely still there
when Barrett was being born. Was it like a baby
shaped Kool -Aid manhole? i wish it was just
blasting out like i'm out of here might be the
wildest c -section like kid just burst out but
leaves a baby -shaped hole in your mom oh i guess
it doesn't have to be your mom it doesn't have
to be my mom yeah it wasn't my younger brother
who did that oh phil come on yeah get it together
dude i know for real he just got engaged yeah
good for him yeah about time to get remarried
Who doesn't love a good remarriage? Yeah, right?
Second time's the charm. That's what they say.
You know what? I have a new rule. I used to say
I'm not getting people gifts for their second
weddings. From now on, I'm not getting people
gifts for their first weddings. Like, we know
this is the practice, Ron. So obviously we're
talking about the ant bully. Yeah. I mean, I
always kind of think about anamorphs. I hate
your shaved head. I hate it so much. It's weird.
I've gotten a little bit used to it, but still,
like, I'll jump onto a Zoom call or something
and be like, what? It's a rounder than I imagined
it would be. I used to do this like once a year.
It was just like clean slate it to see what I
would get back. It looks. Like you joined a cult.
It does. And it kind of feels like I did. You
need like like diaphanous flowing white rose.
Oh, yeah, that would be cool. And release my
folk album. Yeah, that'd be cool. Show everyone
my penis. That's how it goes. Nobody will laugh.
So you do this to see how it'll grow back. So
this is a test to see if you're starting to bald.
Kind of. But also it comes back like blonde.
That'd be cool. Nice. Yeah, I'm trying to think
the last time I shaved my head and I was still
probably in my 20s. I don't think I did it all
through my 30s because I don't want to see how
slowly it comes back. Especially after like my
experiment with a beard again last month and
seeing that it's pretty much almost all gray
at this point. Yeah, I've gotten a lot more gray
in my beard lately, which makes watching a movie
for definitely children much harder to give a
shit about. Yeah, it was pretty rough. My beard
still has the same amount of gray, but I am really
liking my kind of dirty ghost mustache right
now. I like it. Yeah. Hey, Nick, check these
out. Holy shit. Nice dino slippers. Yeah. For
the folks at home, I have T -Rex slippers now.
Yeah. For the folks at home, Sean just gave us
an upskirt. I am wearing my favorite skirt. So,
yes, this week we are talking about The Ant Bully
starring Nicolas Cage as shocker. Yep. On this
podcast, we talk about Nicolas Cage movies. Yeah.
And now basically only the bad ones. Yeah. Or
the surprisingly not as bad as we expected ones.
Yeah. Like Trapped in Paradise. Yeah. Sure. We
could talk about that again if you want. I will
say this movie, I will say The Ant Bully. not
as bad as i thought it would be um but still
not good yeah the first review i found of this
while like trying to find it on uh plex there
was a rotten tomatoes review that just read dot
dot dot unnecessary dot dot dot this was a weird
time when like like when did ants and a bug's
life come out those were earlier than those yeah
so this was just like trying to catch the this
tom hanks tales tom hanks was hot for the the
ant bully book got the property you know rights
and really wanted to make it and picked this
company to make it which tom hanks correct wait
who directed this uh director was john davis
but tom hanks was like an executive producer
he just thought it was cool and wanted to see
it i mean i guess he had been reading it to fucking
chet hanks What's the other one? We see how that
turned out. Yeah, right. Yeah, Chad Hanks is
fucking a baller. Yeah, he's the best. I love
his Rasta accent. Yeah, the Ant Bully book, Tom
Hanks always read it to him in a Rasta accent.
So that makes sense. I imagine that. Tom Hanks
is just doing a lot of like wildly inappropriate
voices and shit at home. Just trying things out.
Yeah. So I just wanted to Google when a bug's
life and ants came out and I forgot that Kevin
Spacey was the villain in a bug's life. Oh yeah.
And you know, Woody Allen was the main character
of ants and just like, yeah, those aged pretty
poorly. 1998 animated. bug movies can't go back
to no but i mean okay so that's kind of the biggest
thing that i was thinking about with this movie
is like those movies looked pretty good like
ants had like a grimy kind of quality to it and
bugs life was like pixar cute you know colorful
candy but they like had some art to it yeah the
the characters had i don't know good textures
and stuff something yeah this movie it's like
it looks so gross and like every little sprig
of grass is just the same thing duped you know
yeah when there was that like weird like light
grass area around their mound and they show that
it's like a grassy the light grassy area by your
mound yeah it just looks so stupid the animation
this awful um i don't like any of it i especially
hate the adults oh yeah yeah like the grandma
oh yeah the mom the mom is weird the mom and
the dad are weird tiny face the dad was definitely
ready to fuck though oh yeah they were on vacation
they were going to like cabo or some shit and
he was gonna get his dick what yeah his gross
weird cg dick oh god it's probably just like
a rectangle they never fully rendered it why
would you bother yeah But they did probably for
Stan. Oh, yes. He had fully rendered genitals.
Yeah. Well, I mean, they weren't sure where he
was going to get stung. That's right. And they
fly up and. Oh, yeah. That thing bites his dick.
Bites him in the dick or balls. I don't know.
Dick balls. Dick butt balls. Ball dicks. Yeah.
So, Nick, who's in this movie? I don't know.
Like Michelle Pfeiffer. no uh terry graham no
okay who who played stan beals the exterminator
uh oh god i should know this um paul giamatti
yes yes nice okay all right who played hova the
like friendly lady aunt that's the one i'm trying
to remember it wasn't michelle pfeiffer and it
wasn't it's like a major superstar actress yeah
uh it was the helen hunt nope uh it starts with
an h though right no julia roberts oh julia roberts
yeah old horse face yep and then meryl streep
was the queen aunt um for as much screen time
as she got bruce campbell fugax oh yeah bruce
campbell is great we were waiting around like
all movie just to see bruce campbell yeah i like
that they gave him a big chin shape yeah i wonder
if that was like in his writer And of course,
Nicolas Cage plays Zok in the most phoned in
voice role. I feel like we've seen him do yet.
I mean, everybody in this movie phoned in their
voice, except for Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti
put some work in. I think my favorite random
actor from this was what was her name? Allison
Mack, who was the one that was in Smallville,
who then ended up like joining the sex cult.
Yeah. Yeah. So she played the older sister. oh
i recognize that name in the trailer uh lily
tomlin was like oh the grandma i know it's a
weird like i'm always surprised like bad animated
movies get good casts all the time but like you
see it and you're still just like really i yeah
i think clearly tom hanks's name brought a bunch
of a -list actors into this a and b -list hi
b i feel like This is such a weird thing with
animated films because ultimately you just want
a good voice actor, but studios won't put money
behind anything if they don't think they'll get
a return. So getting A -list actors in a role
for a kid's movie, which kids aren't going to
care about. It's like there was no reason to
get Nicolas Cage for this movie. Yeah, exactly.
No kid is going to care that it was Nick Cage.
that's just the actors doing it because they
want to or whatever i don't know but they cheap
out on the animation to pay for the cast i feel
and you know they they do it because it doesn't
freaking matter like kids don't give a shit yeah
they don't know good animation from bad animation
that's true enough but like other movies that
came out around that time like happy feet It's
like these are movies that gave a shit about
how they looked. And this movie just doesn't.
It's like the same studio that made the Jimmy
Neutron movie, which all the adults look like
they're from Jimmy Neutron. If anyone has ever
watched that show, it is like horrible. I don't
know. Weeble shaped humans. Yeah. Yeah. Big heads.
Big heads. Weird features. Yeah. Gigantic asses.
Fucking thick. This was Ricardo Montalban's last
movie. Yeah. Way to go out on a real high note.
I mean, you think about like, okay, so Raul Julia
went out on Street Fighter, but like he was feasting
in that movie. Yeah. Esteban, you know, it's
like, you didn't give anything to this. Again,
another one where it's like, who cares that he
was in it? Well, Street Fighter also will endure
as like a cult film. People are going to love
it. 1994 was a kick -ass time. yeah it was i
don't know why i remember what year that came
out yeah i don't remember you don't remember
anything that came out anytime and you remember
street fighters year yeah and i don't even remember
the name of the actress who played hova i've
already forgotten but i remember street fighter
was 1994 julia roberts yeah that's right i love
when like names just go out on just the weirdest
little side project like orson welles's last
role being fucking um like unicron and transformers
the movie and he had no idea what he was doing
he's like i i'm a robot or some shit yeah did
you guys ever watch that video of him trying
to do like a p commercial it's it's so good he
just like can't handle this script the script
is so stupid it's like miss mabel's farm peas
grow there but he's like peas peas grow there
peas grow there no i saw him just like house
trying to do some ad for something i can't remember
what it was now but he was just shit -faced the
the show the critic got so much mileage out of
that pee commercial because like there's whenever
they did an orson welles joke about anything
he'd always like walk off set eating peas or
something or just i just remember like they're
even good cold the critic has done a good job
of living on in my brain it's i have it on dvd
it holds up yeah i believe it um what are we
talking about again oh yes the ant bully um why
this movie nick cage is a wizard he's a wizard
ant which i mean that part's pretty cool yeah
it's kind of tight wizardry is great so it's
like tale as old as time um boy gets bullied
for being a turd uh boy bullies ants by spraying
them with water or peeing on them oh man yeah
i did like that joke peeing the yellow water
was pretty good the dreaded yellow water you
know then you know ant wizard can't do magic
until he puts goo on rocks then can do magic
boy gets shrunk learns ant lessons uh i am confused
why adding a resin coating on top of the fire
rocks whatever the fuck those are supposed to
be i don't know was uh enough to fix The cracked
rocks like, oh, the rocks have cracks. I need
to put resin on them. What? Now the magic works.
Yeah, it was all it was in him anyway. That makes
more sense than for the boy to learn his lesson.
He has to become an ant, which you would assume
is a metaphor for being a larger part of a whole
being part of a society. No, he legit starts
climbing shit and gains ant strength at the end
of this film. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah. I mean,
maybe when you're really small, like the textures
of things reveal themselves to you and you're
like, well, that soda can, I can grip parts of
it. It's like looking at things secretly. Holy
shit. Rough aluminum. You know, OK, I don't hate
that theory. Right. I mean, that at least gives
some something to it. But yeah, like why was
he able to pick up the wasp at the end? I don't
know. We'll get to that. I did enjoy when Nicolas
Cage, when Zok is explaining like how ants. all
have their roles. Like you can be a gatherer,
you can be a scout. And he's like, those are
what the, those are your roles as ants. Like
where does he fit in? Where does the wizard fit
in? Does every ant hill have a singular wizard?
Yeah. You get a singular queen and one wizard.
That's just how it goes. Didn't you go to school?
Yeah, but I went to bad school. Yeah. They didn't
teach you ant magic. It's fucking bullshit. Okay.
Let's, I mean, we've broken down. The large swaths
of the story. Boy is bullied. Boy bullies. Boy
becomes aunt. It's a classic Animorphs story.
It is a classic Animorphs. Yeah, it kind of is.
OK, so there's Paul Giamatti. There's the exterminator.
I am confused by this because the parents go
off to. Their vacation and Paul Giamatti's character.
Stan. Stan. Stan Beals. Sees. sees a child and
then coerces a child into signing a contract
yeah sees a child bullying which is somehow going
to be legally helped by yeah and he's like i'm
gonna yeah get this kid to sign a contract that
says i can kill the ants in his yard i'm pretty
sure he could have just fucking done that i liked
the the shot of uh stan killing all the bugs
and everything and when like all the wasps and
stuff were around him he just like has that arcing
spray of like oh yeah dust and they all just
kind of die and drop i'm like damn this shit's
getting dark yeah intense you're like you don't
get to see the bugs and the death throws which
would have been better but this movie goes kind
of like weird kaiju boss battle at the end um
but even looks like looks like This is just like
a PS2 game of this movie. That's how bad this
looks like. There's no way this movie looks this
bad. This is a bad video game cut scene for this
movie. Yeah, I mean, they did make a game for
this, too. I can't even imagine. It's like you
must just be like collecting jelly beans and
shit the whole time. The sweet eating bug poop,
eating bug poop. Yeah. What do you think about
eating bug poop, Sean? That was funny. yeah yeah
there were a couple things about this that like
got me to actually chuckle like uh eating the
ant poop or caterpillar poop the fact that his
clothes didn't shrink with him so that like he
just wakes up naked yeah we don't have to see
it or anything but that was that was another
thing that i was like yeah that tracks i want
to say what really sold the bug poop scene was
bruce campbell just being like yum Yeah, the
hot and fresh. Oh, yeah. Get it while it's hot.
It was a great line. And well, when they flew
up Stan's pants. Quality. Yeah. Attacked his
Johnson. Yeah. Another weirdly grim moment speaking.
So you had like the bug sprayer, you know, they're
killing everything. Another grim moment was when
they were inside of the frog. So, yeah, Lucas
gets eaten by a frog. There's a couple other
bugs that are in there. This is when Nick Cage
tells him to be, you know, to go fuck off, basically.
And then so he gets eaten by the frog. Then Nick
Cage decides that he's going to be a hero and
he gets also eaten by the frog. But they're all
in there. And then there's a fly who's like,
oh, good. My buddy is here. And he picks up a
head and it's just a severed fucking head. Yeah.
Like, whoa. Cora did not pick up on that particular
moment. But I was like, that's pretty grisly.
Yeah, there are some slightly dark moments in
this. So the way they beat Stan at the end when
he's like killing all the bugs is they use the
same. They try to use the same serum on him that
turned Lucas into an ant. It doesn't apparently
work as well on adults because they just kind
of turn Stan into a weird dwarf. Yeah, he had
weird like chimpanzee proportions and like he
was lumpy and a weird pinhead. Yeah, I you know,
that could have just been because it was applied
by a stinger. So maybe it wasn't a full dose
or it didn't get into the ear canal either. Like
Lucas got it straight to the brain. But is that
just him now? Is that just how he lives? Yeah,
yeah. I think he's just a little horrible critter
now. Just like Paul Giamatti. Yeah, I'm kidding.
I love Paul Giamatti. That seems like a gross
like overreaction to a guy just doing his job.
Yeah, but he was a dick. So let's just turn him
into a weird munted mutant. Yeah, because he
was a dick. The lesson here, Sean, is don't be
a dick. Too late. Don't be a dick to ants. Don't
be a dick to children. There you go. But I hate
ants and children. Some child wizard is going
to turn you into a child. Oh, yeah. Take that.
I would hate that so much. I would laugh if you
were turned back into a child. full surly ass
sean just as is but child mode yeah i would be
able to get away with so much more shit though
what would be the worst age to get shrunk to
and what would be your optimal like child age
okay well do your like functions your uh do your
your your things still work yeah you're saying
you're wait what are your faculties like well
i don't know like your mental faculties are the
same yeah you know the things that i'm not currently
using to express this question right uh yeah
your mental faculties your mental faculties are
in in line you just are shrunken to a body of
a child okay so like hmm i think anything like
infant would be terrible awful because you don't
have like well are you would i still have like
my musculature or do i have a stupid soft baby
body soft baby body ew gross just a fucking weirdly
buff baby yeah that'd be cool we've all seen
little hercules come on man little buff boy little
buff boys yeah got you troll boy yeah i mean
infant would suck but like little rascals age
what are they like six you know yeah kindergarten
like if you could be like a real fucking rapscallion
with a like adult brain knowing how to really
fucking play the system yeah that'd be awesome
yeah but you would also have to be in like the
1900s oh so you could be a chimblee sweep oh
yeah nice yeah you could do lots of crime then
i forgot about chimblees yeah and just lower
me in there yeah i'll sweep your chimblee ma
'am It's like, what are all these tiny child
footprints for in our house? It's the ghosts.
Yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah. You aren't
a good enough, I don't know, Protestant. Oh,
would I have the liver of a child, though? Because
I could use a new liver at this point. Yeah,
I think everything goes back, except your brain.
No, that doesn't make any sense. No, you've got
a really bad liver and you're seven years old.
Yeah, but you're not using it anyways. Like,
you're fine. Yeah, that's true. You can. No one's
serving you. Keep on with that little liver.
Every movie I've ever seen where someone gets
turned back into like a younger version of themselves.
The first thing they do is hit the fucking hit
the wet bar. Yeah. Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue. What
about Freaky Friday? I haven't seen that. I don't
think I've ever seen that either. Freakier Fridays
coming out. Yeah. I bet they hit the bar. That
one's got a grandma. You know she's gonna fuck.
She's gonna fuck. Grandma's fuck now. Yeah, grandma's
fuck now. That's what's happening. It's 2025,
grandma's fuck. That's our first t -shirt. It's
2025, grandma's fuck. Yeah. Welcome to the 21st
century. Grandma's be wet. I don't know. Why
do I talk? Jesus Christ. That's rough. I feel
like we should make an attempt to talk about
this movie, but I don't want to. I mean, we have
made an attempt. I think we've actually done
a decent job talking about this movie. I mean,
there isn't a ton to say about it. It's like
bad voice. Kids movies are very formulaic. There's
not anything that's really deep. Like Lucas's
path of growth is very rapid. You know, he's
a total shit bag. And then by the end of it,
he's learned a lesson. He's like, yay, friends
and teamwork. I like how they totally give up
on assigning him a role inside of the colony
after he just sucks at like everything labor
camp after he goes to fucking Ant Dachau non
climbing loser. Well, and again, like the whole
him being able to climb at the end is completely
like. Ruined ruins this film in terms of an actual
arc, because. The reason he didn't complete the
obstacle course in the beginning is because he
gave up when all the other ants were trying to
help him. That's true. Yeah. I'm thinking way
too hard about this movie. So, okay. The fact
that kids, it's a kid's movie, right? Like it's
a kid's movie in general. I did not enjoy this
movie, but Cora and I watched it yesterday and
Cora today was like, I want to watch Ant Bully
again. I was like. I was like, no, I don't have
it on my computer anymore. It's gone. Yeah, it's
gone forever. The P word doesn't have it anymore.
That's your child's favorite movie now. Yeah,
I did that. That's my doing. So, I mean, I'm
sure there are other like kids movies that we
all could kind of like latch on to when we were
younger. But I don't I don't remember what like
my horrible kids movie was that my parents were
like, fuck that movie. I do. And I watched it
last night. what what is it i remember what my
horrible kids movie was surf ninjas oh god yeah
okay fucking uh rob schneider does white face
schneider has really i mean he never was a good
actor he was never all that funny but like he's
turned into like a super mega douchebag too he's
one of those guys there weren't children's hospitals
when i was younger because kids weren't ever
sick it's like fuck you dude uh i just remember
when i was uh oh god this was maybe like three
years ago or something i threw on demolition
man and i was like oh yeah rob schneider's in
this and then the next day i threw on judge dread
and i was like oh fuck rob schneider's in this
too yeah it was weird and then you put on the
water boy and it was like whoa well that i mean
everybody knows of course if it's a sandler there's
a schneider yeah tale as old as time oh god do
you remember uh when we used to run and we talked
about the schneider cut oh yeah well god was
it the animal like the animal hot chick like
you take all the schneider movies and like fucking
avengers them up this is a horrible idea i know
he's probably on cameo we could probably get
him to do it probably But I mean, that requires
giving him money. That's true. I don't want to
do that. Yeah, I'd rather give Evan Stone money.
Maybe he could do the Schneider cut. He could.
Yeah. Yeah. Probably dick related, but. We can
call up Allison Mack, see what she wants to do
in her life. Oh, yeah. I looked earlier at her
Wikipedia page because I was curious about that
whole like cult thing she was in. Not a ton of
information there, but my favorite fun fact was
that in 2025, she got married to somebody named
Frank. Frank Mack? Just Frank. No, I don't know.
So it's spouse like the cult leader spouse. Frank.
Thanks. I want to I want to read some IMDb reviews
for you guys just so we can have content for
this. My favorite one. Well, I mean, that sounds
like it was written by Adam. It does. And then
ant theme should be retired. That's just hating
on ants and bugs life. Yeah, that's how you're
going to end up shrunk. dude yeah watch your
words get shrunky dunked shrinky danked shrinky
dank this was the first warner brothers animated
movie released in imax 3d there were some like
especially when he's getting thrown around the
colony when he first gets shrinky danked when
he's going down like the slide that is his like
bed sheets yeah i could see i was like this was
in three day yeah there were definitely some
times where it felt like that was the intention
i always forget about 3d so Whenever one of these
movies comes up, I'm like, oh, this is weirdly
shot. Never even consider that it was for 3D.
Yeah. Like unless something's intentionally like
whipping out towards the screen. I don't think
about it as a 3D film. Like the axe going in.
Yeah. Yeah. That sort of thing. Yeah. I mean,
like Stan's balls flying back and forth. Right.
Over the audience's heads. Can you imagine if
somebody shot a porno for 3D and like. Before
the whole VR craze and everything like that,
just watching 3D porno in a 3D adult movie theater.
I guarantee that this has happened. Oh, I'm sure.
What film would they have picked? All right.
The only other thing I can think of on this movie.
I wanted Grandma. So Grandma's a weird alien
conspiracy atheist. Nailed it. Yeah, got it.
First time, best time. I wanted more of that.
I wanted to know more about what was going on
there. I just like that airflow is the bane of
aliens. Yeah, that was an interesting angle.
Yeah, I mean, it's obviously just there to put
the fans in the living room for the like floating
pedal scene. But all right. So I just sent you
a text of the bullies from the ant bully. Oh,
these guys were terrifying. Who was your favorite?
Who is your favorite bully? Who's repping you?
Oh, you mean the kids that all get, like, made
fun of? Yeah. So not the bullies, but the bullies.
Yeah, I mean, they bully along with the main
bully until he stops being the bully, and then
they become cool again. Yeah. Let's see. Fucking
helmet kid. I mean, beanie kid's pretty cool.
Yeah, I pegged you as beanie kid. Oh, you pegged
me? Yeah, I did. You picked helmet child? Yeah.
I think a weird gangly tall girl. I'm not tall
enough to be the girl. Yeah, that resonated with
me. She looks like a used car salesman. Why is
Lucas able to see shit? Without his glasses.
I don't know, because his eyes shrunk. So here's
another thing that fucking pissed me off. How
weird is it that like when he was in like battle
mode, he's got those goggles made out of like
fly eyes. Yeah, right. And like nobody questions
it or says, whoa, dude, you're wearing Steve's
eyes for like protection. I knew that guy. He
came to my potluck. Fucking not cool, man. I
don't know. That was weird. That was weird. That
is super fucking weird about this movie. This
movie more than most made me mostly because I
wasn't engaged at all. So I had time for just
free roaming thoughts. Why is it that only bugs
and it's fucking you're telling me it's why I
went to art college. Why is it only that bugs
and humans have the capability for language,
but frogs are just fucking dumb frogs? Because
frogs suck. Everyone hates frogs. Known fact.
So I also like how he got the idea for hang gliding.
There's a whole hang gliding scene in this movie
for them to get across a shag carpet. using grandma's
fans so you know they built that up um but he
gets the idea from his video game about hang
gliding frogs but in that video game the point
is to smash the frogs yeah that game seems like
it sucked shit too yeah oh but you know in the
end he grows up to be big again um and then his
bully um what was his police name honestly i
don't remember yeah he does give a mean wedgie
though yeah He got that clean break. He gets
the bully's entourage to turn against the bully
because the bully's like, you know, they'll do
what I say. You know, I'll beat you all up. And
then they're like, wait, there's more of us.
We're like ants. Mm hmm. And then they. So let's
do the classic ant move. Dog pile. Yeah. Yep.
Tear him apart and eat him. And eat him. Yeah.
Yeah. I wish they would have just. Get his sweet
rocks. Yeah. You. Well, OK, so let's let's get
it back on track. Sean, you've done a noble job.
No, you've actually done a noble job trying to
keep it on track in terms of this movie, but
I don't think I've got anything else to say.
I could really care less if we had talked about
this movie, even for like an instant, like, or
I guess I couldn't have cared less. I don't know.
However, that thing, it's really a lame overall
animated movie. It's a lame performance from
Nick Cage. He gave us more as fucking Kronk or
whatever in the Croods. Sure. Croods 2. I love
Croods 2. Excuse me. Croods 2. Yeah, we don't
know anything about Croods 1 yet. And in Spider
-Verse, like he's playing a different role, but
he's great as, you know, Spider -Noir. Yeah,
he can do voice acting. I have thoughts about
it. I like I think for Spider -Man Noir or for
Into the Spider -Verse. I always felt like he
always feels like he's too far away from the
microphone or that he's actually speaking through
a mask through like fabric. He probably was.
Yeah. Like he's just dressed like it in the studio.
I'm sure no one asked him to. That also seems
accurate. But yeah. OK, so like where would you
put his performance in this? You know, bad. Yeah,
it was the. One of the better of the voice performances
in this movie and this movie was full of terrible
voice performances. Yeah, like nobody was really
great except Paul Giamatti. It's just it's it's
one of the few times I think we've ever just
heard Nicolas Cage's voice. He really doesn't
put anything into it. Yeah, it wasn't like the
mole. Oh, yeah. Speckles. Yeah, speckles. It's
not even that he's doing a voice. There's no
like affectation. There's no. emotion it's just
very monotone throughout and which i feel is
hard for nicholas cage to do like his voice just
increases at random intervals yeah he probably
wasn't recording in studio with a bunch of people
so like no chance when he's got nothing around
him i can see him just not rising up to his normal
level yeah did you watch the newer teenage mutant
ninja turtles movie yeah uh because one of the
things that i was reading about that is like
they were very adamant about doing recordings
in the studio with each other at the same time
which i mean that's mostly recorded by like 12
year olds or something yeah there's a bunch of
kids but they had like a really good time and
i think that that came across in that movie that
they're like having fun and playing off of each
other versus something like this which is like
these are buckets you know it's just buckets
of voices and it doesn't work I was really excited
when I saw that there was going to be a trailer
for a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thing,
but it's a short that went ahead of something
else that I didn't want to say. Yeah, they're
doing, what was it? They're doing like, they
go to New Jersey. Yeah, it was just like a holiday
thing or something like that. It's got like a
specific bend, but yeah, it's just a short and
it kind of ties in around like the whole. uh
tv show the tales of the tmnt and kind of leads
up into the next uh mutant mayhem movie oh nice
is that happening have i just not been paying
attention yeah yeah i would assume i hope so
because the first one was great yeah i liked
it i liked the art style in it it was real fun
watch that yeah go watch that instead of this
or don't watch this porn all right any final
thoughts sean Actually, I think you just said
it. Yeah. Never mind. Basically, I'm taking this
part out. I think you guys both just gave your
final thoughts. My final thought is if I was
an anamorph, I would be. A skunk. OK. Yeah. What
would you anamorph into? I mean, skunk's actually
a pretty good answer. I like to fart. I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. I'd say possum. Yeah. Okay. Opposable
thumbs, semi -brantle tail, pocket. I feel like
I've got sort of a sly shit bag quality to me.
So I'm going to go with a fox. Yeah. Maybe if
I wasn't a skunk, I would be a tanuki. Ooh, okay.
Yeah, and then I could fly around on my ball
sack. Yeah. All right. Well, obviously that's
what everyone came here for, the good content.
Yep. That's sweet, sweet content. So next up,
much to Sean's chagrin, we have Grindhouse, which
has literally only a Nick Cage laugh and cameo.
That's not even either. I'm not. No, we're not.
I'm not doing this again. It's a part of the
whole thing. It's a part of the whole thing.
We're doing the whole thing. We're doing the
whole thing. We're watching both movies. We got
three hours to watch. We're going to talk about
them. And then we'll John. Yeah. And we'll each
do our best impression of the laugh. I like that.
That sounds fun. Thank you to our listeners.
Thanks for hanging out with us. Thanks to our
sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam, Bill,
Stuart and Willow. And to our cage dancers, John
Freeman, Nathan and Cameron. And to Bill, thanks
for our intro music. So come back next time to
hear Sean hate on two movies and love one dumb
trailer. Maybe. Yeah. It'll be great. We can
talk about Quentin Tarantino's foot fetish. I
love it. At least we've got a direct tie into
porno on this one. Yeah, you're right. We've
talked about piss multiple times. Well, yeah,
but I mean, God damn it. Okay. Night night, bye
bye. Perfect. Thank you, honey. Bye bye. Do you
want to sing anything before you go? Can you...
Mommy, can you put the Frozen 2 song on so I
can sing it to Nick? That one's just called Into
the Unknown. Oh, okay. Is that right? I don't
know. Yeah, Into the Unknown. Into the Unknown.
Into the Unknown. Is this it? Yeah, you like
this one. Can you sing it into the microphone?
I don't know how to do that. You don't have to
do the oh part. You're crushing it, though. I've
got a voice, which is ringing in my ear. And
if I hurt you, you don't. But I fear everyone.
I never looked to see what it was. I'm sorry
I stayed so careful about blocking out your calls.
I've had my fair share. It's always something
new. I don't know why I wish to follow you and
be alone. Okay, that's perfect, honey. Thank
you. Oh, you gotta save some for next time, right?
Yeah, we're gonna do more later. This was great,
though, honey. I'm sorry.