Oh, God. Oh, my God. It's been a few months now
that I've been hearing you guys talk about...
Buzzballs? Yeah. This is my inaugural... Ballin'.
Yeah. And my first and only ball. I'm not sure
how much of it this would take to, you know,
do away with two years of sobriety, but we'll
find out. I don't think this is going to make
you want to drink. No. Oh! Yeah. Pretty sure
you're safe on having a little taster of that
one. I could go again. It's like Boone's Farm.
Yeah. It's like Smarties. Like the candies, but...
No, that's like the medicine my dad used to make
me take. Like the fucking, like, red shit. oh
that's boone's farm okay yep oh man well if uh
tiffany if you're ever listening to this which
i know you won't be but no you're right that
was awful tiffany's my uh florida friend who
uh when i'm like my friends have been drinking
buzz balls they're this she was just like no
i'm from florida i know Yeah, well, I mean, it's
a Texas product, so it's made like founded by
women. So we're allies. Also, shout out to Josie
for providing this. So this this week, we've
got our our buzzball provided by Josie and we
are drinking the I'm guessing it's a seasonal
one. It's a witch's potion and it is caramel
apple flavored. that's not what i get it's supposed
to be candy apple yeah holy shit it's like those
stupid fucking suckers it's kind of like us just
a bunch of stupid suckers pretty much peter you're
my sponsor now okay great i'll give you uh 10
of whatever we get for one of your kidneys don't
worry 10 that's not bad It's my kidney, though.
I'm the one doing all the work here. That's just
10 % of our next buzzball. I'm trading organs
for buzzballs these days. Just replace them in
your body with buzzballs. Even though I found
a much cheaper place to get buzzballs. Inflation's
really hitting hard. This just tastes like a
whore hangover. Yeah. It's not going to be good.
Yeah, it's a little sour. A little horny. A little
bit horny. exactly a buzz ball sour and horny
yep speaking of sexy that's not a segue we have
a freeman here who's looking sexy aloha looking
fit yeah freeman long time are you a cage dancer
or sparkle buddy shit i'm a cage dancer long
time listener first time caller i've said it
a million times how do i know it is it is freeman's
first time yeah and you you picked a a surprisingly
fun movie I enjoyed it much more than than the
reviews. But, you know, that's because I'm my
first. So this week on Cage Magical and Roundabout
Way meeting Nicolas Cage, I'm your host, Sean.
Here's my host, Nick, and our producer, Peter.
Hello. And we are discussing the 1993 movie Amos
and Andrew. They're all the information up front.
Yeah. I mean, we'll go through characters and
actors and stuff because it's actually fucking
dotted with good actors. Yeah. We just haven't
gotten all that information out at the beginning
of it. No, we've been terrible. sorry john i
saw so when i watched the start of this movie
last night i saw the what i'm assuming was the
poster art from the original release of nick
cage and sam jackson handcuffed together with
a cop driving behind him and my immediate thought
was to text peter nick and say i call not sam
jackson just to be safe and i think that's a
cowardly move This is a movie with some blackface,
inadvertently. It's not inadvertently. It's very
inadvertently. It's night ops. Is there two or
three blackface moments in this? There's three.
But one guy twice. Yes. He just really likes
his night ops. Yeah, night ops. So Freeman, as
our guest, you get the lovely job of trying to
give a plot summary for us. um as best you can
i i planned ahead here oh a script i like it
yes yes uh oh yeah just the wikipedia article
nice rich and famous but not famous enough black
man andrew sterling buys a summer home on some
massachusetts island his racist neighbors unaware
of their new neighbor try and get the guy killed
in his own home for being black uh the villains
in this whole thing are most definitely phil
and judy gilman Uh, they're, I love the Gilman's
are so horny and racist. They're just so like,
it's just immediately. They just, they just,
I mean, they just pull the covers off blatant
racism. Uh, they said everything in motion, uh,
and the local sheriff just eats it up. It's an
election year. It is. It is. Uh, he decides that
he's going to put on a spectacle, uh, and help
this out with his political aspirations. Of course,
they end up screwing it all up and then they
need a fall guy. Enter Nicolas Cage, Amos O'Dell.
Amos is already in police custody, so it's nice
and handy. They can just take him and and try
to make him be the fall guy for all this after
they finish shooting up poor Andrew Sterling's
home. It's it's just awful. Did you write it's
just awful? No, no, no. uh it was a killer delivery
like inflection cues since this is a comedy just
things keep going wrong and wrong it's like everything
that can go wrong pretty much does nobody manages
to do anything uh right it gets a little over
kind of long and drawn out i get a little bit
like just like come on guys like move things
along but it is tidy it does it trucks right
along tight 90 Yeah. And I mean, like everything
ties up nicely, like they lay out the jokes,
they set them up, knock them down. Yeah. At some
point, it gets confused that there must be a
hostage situation. And then it comes out that
Andrew Sterling is the hostage. Cue up my probably
my favorite character in this whole thing is
Reverend Fenton Brunch. Oh, he's so good. That
was my second text after starting this movie.
Giancarlo Esposito. So fucking good. Yes, I did
not expect that. Oh, that brought me a lot of
joy. I really loved the multiple buses loading
up with all the protesters and the singing and
that they were all going to the island to save
Brother Sterling. But somehow, though, because
the police are just such morons early in this
whole hostage situation, Amos and Andrew just
walk out the back door of Andrew's house and
go next door to the neighbor's place, the Gilman's.
And and they just hide out there. We get all
kinds of conflict. Then the Gilman's come home.
And they're like, and Nicolas Cage is like, I
want my I want your car. And poor Mr. Gilman
is like, no. I'm not giving you that car. It's
a gift from my wife. Yeah, his second wife. And
so then Nicolas Cage turns to Mr. Gilman's wife,
Phil's wife, and says, hey, Judy, I'm sorry.
We got to take the car. Yeah. And to that point,
Phil's like, no, no, not Judy. It was my second
wife that gave me this car. Judy is my fucking
wife. Yeah, apparently the third wife. The other
bit in here is that for some reason, Nicolas
Cage keeps ordering pizza everywhere he goes.
Well, he has been in jail. Yeah. Well, and the
second reason, the second time he orders pizza
is because he's trying to steal the pizza van
so he can have a getaway car. Yeah. Yes. I think
also, though, he did see if you if you remember,
we did see the pizza girl going into the police
station. That's his other quirky character trait
is he likes underage girls. They should have
probably played that a little different because
he's like a pretty likable criminal. And then
it's like drop that in there. Come on. Yeah,
I honestly thought they were going to lead into
it a little more. And I was like, oh, no, how
taboo is this going to go? Yeah, I was I was
kind of worried when he asked her age and she
said 17 and then he. didn't stop that like something
really awkward was gonna happen it was uh it
was endearing and heartwarming that she just
wrote his phone number her phone number on his
hand yeah and we never see her again thankfully
yeah we see her one more time she drops the tape
off with the press true oh that's true yeah debbie
does give the press the tape that's that's a
good point uh ultimately It gets down to the
point where Andrew's just trying to get home
and have a quiet night. Amos just wants to get
off the damn island. He wants to get to Canada
and probably just get off in general because
he's been in prison. And so he ends up getting
the car and Andrew decides, I think that he's
just going home. He's just done with all this
stuff. He wants a quiet night. But then he's
out in the middle of this field and he sees his
house on fire. And then he can hear the bloodhounds
chasing after him. And at this point, Bloodhound
Bob. Yes, Bloodhound Bob. And at this point,
then what? Amos shows up in the car driving through
the field, picks up Andrew. And then next thing
you know, they're on a boat leaving the island.
Yeah, they just like get out. They just did.
That's it. Yeah. And I'm just like. this is a
this is an island like the police are trying
to control this whole situation it's like maybe
put out a bolo for like white guy black guy in
a car there was a random checkpoint on the island
but no checkpoint at the ferry terminal like
it's an island yeah they are really bad cops
that's that's my feeling on this one the theme
of this entire movie is cops are dumb dumb dumbs
all right so this we touched on at the beginning
but like this this movie is packed with fucking
actors right so nick cage is amos odell sam sam
jackson i love nicholas cage yeah he's great
uh sam jackson is andrew sterling brad dorff
is uh donnie donaldson um he's probably most
famous for most of us as grimo worm tongue uh
from the lord of the rings sean doesn't know
what that is i don't know what a harry potter
is either yeah nerd dabney coleman is the chief
of police um who's that so he was in like tootsie
and war games back in the day with um what broderick
yeah when he was a little boy before he killed
a guy yeah and then you've got mail he's just
like one of those guys who's been around for
a long time he's played like a doofy cop before
too yeah with a mustache definitely seen him
around i don't know what he's been that's this
movie is i've seen them you know it's like yeah
that face a lot of character actors so michael
learner is the gilman yeah phil phil gilman um
and he's just another one of those he's been
in like barton fink harlem knights he's just
in he was in the godzilla movie with matthew
broderick um after he killed a guy yeah maybe
i don't know matthew broderick ran that guy over
carlo esposito and then my favorite is is uh
bob balaban who plays the the guy who is like
a hostage negotiator on the phone he's so good
yeah rafink rafink yeah that was my favorite
running bit throughout the whole thing because
he's like calls into andrew's house after amos
andrew have left uh the chief of police is just
tied to a chair he can't talk and he's just talking
through the voicemail and just like yes like
turns out like just regressing his own memories
like i wanted a pony my parents got me a turtle
nine turtles but i still wanted that pony My
favorite quote of his is actually my favorite
from this movie. It's just this scene where like
there's mayhem going on everywhere. He's in the
cop car with this like remote sat phone or whatever.
And he's just talking to nobody. He's just monologuing.
I remember my 11th birthday. I had a party and
my mom and dad hired a clown. It was a very,
very funny clown. And he juggled and did magic
tricks. My friend Ruby peed on the floor. She
was really embarrassed, but I had a good time.
Then my mom called him for my 12th birthday and
his wife answered and said, oh, he's not a clown
anymore. He's going to go to school to be a dental
technician. I don't think I'll ever forget that
moment. Driving this guy to kill everybody. Yeah,
I enjoyed this film. I'm just going to say that
up top that this was a fun movie that people
could pick apart me, but still enjoy. I really
enjoyed myself with it. just like what second
scene getting a close -up on a lawn jockey uh
it really set the tone for me and i was like
oh okay that's gonna be the problem in this movie
and it was yeah immediately too i mean like the
conflict starts four minutes in or something
like that it's like they they see sam jackson
driving a car they think it's somebody else then
they see him in his now home don't realize he's
supposed to be there and They think it's like
their neighbor because these are summer homes.
So they're like they don't see people often,
but they think it's like one of the neighbors
and one of the neighbor's kids is like being
held hostage. The Gilman's. You're right. They
are the villains. They are the villains like
from the jump. And then as soon as like Amos
and Andrew are in the house and they realize
that they made a mistake, they're trying to like
play all nice, all goody goody. It's like, oh,
we'd love to have you and your wife over. Even
if she is white. Even if she is white. But then
like. Turns out she's not. Yeah, Amos has. Oh,
spoiler. Amos has their like their interview
with the press junket. They're not actually the
press, but they want to like they're kind of
like ambulance chasers. Yeah, they're like that.
What's his face from Nightcrawler? Like they
just go out and take. Oh, yeah. That was a good.
That is a fun moment, though, when I would. Cage
puts on the video and he knows that it's outing
these people being racist shits. And they're
just watching. He's just played it back and forth.
I'm no racist, but when you see a black man in
a house carrying a serial killer, you know what's
going on. Oh, yeah. I love I'm no racist. And
then they have a dog named Rommel. this is one
of those also that dog is awesome that dog was
great i do love the line of like uh sam jackson
andrew is allergic to dogs and rama wants to
shake shake his hand and nicholas cage is like
shake his hands like that dog doesn't like black
people's like well he's not gonna like the next
one if you don't shake his hand yeah No, yeah,
Amos is very pragmatic when it comes to that
stuff. I really appreciate him calling because
Samuel Jackson is great at getting righteous.
Yeah, he cuts through it pretty, pretty well.
But, you know, there are points where I'm like,
there hasn't been a joke in a minute. And I'm
like, this is touching on some serious, like
racial stuff. Like the chief of police, like
gets his boots knocked off when he's like. tied
up and like he runs out he gets home alone with
broken glass i'm like all right there's the comedy
yeah i love dabney coleman after his feet got
fucked up with the glass anytime he's running
or walking he has to do that like high stepping
thing yeah why did he call him the n -word when
he went in so he goes into the the chief of police
goes into the house because he he technically
holds all the cards yeah and he's being a super
racist douche and then sam jackson clocks him
brian pans him Yeah, just pan to the head. Not
a good clank, but like, why did he say that?
I felt like he was trying to lean into the character
bit to try to control Amos more. The kind read
is, I don't care about this person, so you don't
hold any, like, comments here. Trying to erase
Amos' leverage. But you could have done that
without dropping the N -bomb. Yeah. Yeah, he
does get paid for it. So, I mean, and then later
on, he's, you know, going to he says he's going
to charge Andrew with the attempted murder. Yes.
For clocking him in the face. I forgot about
that part. Yeah. So, you know, just bad cops
all over. And that kind of I feel like that gets
Andrew on the run with Amos. Yeah. So that that
kind of brings them a little more as kindred
spirits at that point. I will say certainly helps
endear their friendship at the end. I'm like,
this wasn't earned, but I'm glad they found it.
You only need 90 minutes. I know, but like they
like they're just kind of like Andrew's a hostage.
They have a talk about like race relations. They
get into a tussle in the backyard. They're best
friends. Yeah, well, I'm yeah, I'm not going
to say that like they really nailed it, but I
enjoy their time on screen together. Yeah, certainly.
Like, I don't think either of them changed much.
Sam Jackson did find his way a little more back
towards the center because of Amos is constant
calling him on his shit. Yeah, which was good.
I can't say that Amos became a better person
through this film. No, still has lousy sense
of direction. I mean, he still tried to man on
that 17 year old. Yeah, it's true. He was originally
arrested for delinquency, aiding in the delinquency
of a minor. That was the official charge. The
lines on all that are rough. Freeman, you said
that you were going to try and watch this twice.
Did you end up watching it twice? How did it
hold up on the second watching within, you know,
two weeks or whatever? Well, so the first one
I was with Elizabeth. uh and we watched um well
like as she said she i just put it on and she
reluctantly was in the room uh about a half an
hour in she's kind of starting to pay attention
the last third she definitely was like okay i'm
on board with this and i think she enjoyed it
we had a good laugh the first go around the second
go you know where everything is going so it's
not quite as funny but also like there were things
I was excited for that I was happy about. Like,
like honestly, like the whole scene where the
chief of police does drop the N word and then
gets clocked with the frying pan. I know that's
coming. Like, and, and I feel like this was Samuel
Jackson is like in his prime where he's like
full throated and he gets onto these righteous
like speeches and it's just, it's hard not to
love that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I will say this
too. To the point is like it's very hard to not
have some kind of not necessarily bias, but like
you're watching it twice in like a week, two
weeks. So it's hard not to remember all these
jokes and have some kind of like preempt disassociate
with a lot of the humor. Like if you had given
it a couple months. like you may have forgotten
one or two of the little things yeah comedy is
hard because it relies so much on like surprise
right yeah i mean john and i were talking about
this he watched it with me and he we had subtitles
originally but our version of it had commercials
and shit and it was like this is terrible um
and we were talking about how subtitles there's
like a couple times when you don't really want
them it's like comedies and stand up comedians.
And it's like same vibe. It spoils it because
you see it that split second. Your brain is processing
the joke already. It's kind of the same thing.
You've already watched it recently. You're going
to know what's coming, right? Like, you know
that there's going to be the jokes about whatever
pizza or like sex toys with white people. Oh,
dude, the sex toy drawer with the tube of sex
grease, sex grease. I love sex grease. I knew
that was coming. White people are weird and crazy
or whatever he says. Yeah, he just says. white
people my favorite was when he leans in on them
uh later when they tie him up with the bdsm gear
and he's just like perverts i think that's my
favorite quote sam jackson don't yuck their yum
but they did call the cops on you so you know
yeah i mean they suck you have you have other
things you can criticize about them leave their
sex life out of it i was i looked it up because
i was curious you know sex greases no i got the
idea on that one i cracked that code um no i
was me later yeah i'll let you know um so michael
michael learner phil gilman he's 17 years older
than the actress who plays his wife and it's
like oh okay i mean that tracks for what the
third wife situation is there absolutely but
yeah just looking at them i was like how is this
working it's like ah well he was a lawyer and
he worked on the chicago seven which side yeah
uh when they uh when the police uh chief does
bring nick cage in and sends him into the house
the part where nick is kind of prancing through
uh the the entryway to the house and he looks
back and he's like jumping and i just like i
felt like that was just like a little kind of
uh hat tip to like all of his physical comedy
and he's just like i'm gonna go prancing into
the house now and like Yeah. And it absolutely
works in this situation, too, because, you know,
he knows he's just there to be like a fall guy.
Yeah. And he's going to get released. So he's
just having fun with it. But yes, it definitely
smacks pretty well of some of his older prancy
moments. I do like Nick Cage's little slapdash
MacGyver invention when he brings Andrew out
on the porch where he gets a coat hanger. Tapes
it to the front of the shotgun and has it around
Andrew's neck to like lead him. Yeah. One million
dollars in a helicopter. I love the million dollars
in a helicopter. It just kept coming back. Oh,
man. Why did why did the press show up? Was it
because of Reverend Brunch? No, it's because
of the Gilmans, because they're like, we should
be on the news. This should be big news. So,
yes, the Gilmans are the villains. So, yeah,
they keep escalating the situation. They make
it worse every time. I mean, also, if the cops
would have just been like. we got told there
was a black guy we're sorry um it would have
sucked for them but you know what in america
guys still would have been elected yeah he would
have won his election probably probably would
have gotten more votes you just put donnie on
administratively for a couple weeks exactly boom
slap on the wrist for old donnie yeah yeah oh
fuck it when so you said earlier the second time
you texted us was uh uh reverend brunt and brunch
but it was actually when donnie paints his face
black or like rubs dirt all over and you're like
also not this guy do not want to be this guy
in the photos uh you know you could just do a
whole no i'm not you could do a whole photo montage
of uh any one of us randomly selected in blackface
i'm sure that would work fine just just freeman
in blackface i'm not doing i'm not doing fuck
all with that we're not replacing sam jackson
and we're not doing any blackface characters
that's probably for the best i found one of the
scenes where there's a couple different non -blackface
people hanging out with nick cage so does sean
have to be a 17 year old girl judy gilman no
amazingly they're never like officially in a
scene at the exact same time so it's it's in
the um it's before they have like enlisted amos
fully into the like scheme they're in the like
interrogation room or whatever so it's it's dabney
coleman the chief of police and then um donnie
yeah kind of in the background yeah Cage with
his fucking foreplay tattoo. Donnie in white
face. Yeah, the foreplay tattoo is so dumb and
funny. His tattoos look so shit. They are so
drawn on. His gold tooth. His gold tooth. I actually
kind of liked the gold tooth. I love the gold
tooth. Also, I love like yet another Nick Cage
movie starts where Nick Cage is working out in
a jail cell. Yep. Yeah, doing handstand pushups
or whatever. I mean, go with what you know, right?
Yeah, it's a small space. Yeah, so this came
out in 93. Yeah. 94 was a pretty good year for
Nicolas Cage. Yeah. And then 95, he was in Kiss
of Death with Sam Jackson again. Ooh, nice. Yeah.
Bigger. Much bigger. Much bigger. Sea monkeys.
Oh, sea monkeys. They did earn their friendship.
All right. Deep conversations. Yeah, that was
a great conversation. While Cage smokes the last
of the gilded joint. I wanted my family to be
more like sea monkey family. The big smiles on
the box. I did get sea monkeys when I was younger
and they were such a fucking waste. It's like
it was kind of cool. Well, they're just like
shrimp. Yeah. And it was cool to see them hatch.
And then they're like fluttering around and then
they literally just all die. And there's just
these corpses like waving around on the bottom
of this little jug. Yeah, that's so cool. And
it stinks. Yeah, they're they're pretty gnarly.
I didn't have a lot in terms of quotes from this
film, but. The one that I that resonated with
me the most because it's definitely something
I fucking said. Nick Cage talking about his phobia
of needles and Sam Jackson like you got them
tattoos. They did those with needles, right?
He's like, yeah, but I was drunk. And the tattoo
show. Yeah, you were definitely drunk. Yeah,
I do have a tattoo that I do not remember getting.
Which one is it? My TARDIS. Oh, really? Yeah.
Interesting. I was in San Francisco, so it's
fucking cold. So like. By the time I came to
in a coffee shop with my buddy Tony, I'm all
bundled up and we're just talking like I sober
up and I'm driving back to my buddy's place because
I'm crashing at a friend's house. And he like
text me. He's like, hey, where are you at? And
I'm just like, I'm driving back. It's like I'm
like, oh, and he's like, what? And I like roll
up my sleeve and I'm like. I think I got a tattoo.
Freeman, do you have tattoos? Just one. Just
a little tribute from my dad when he passed away.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I can remember.
Yeah, he had a, after this, I can go upstairs.
We've got a family photo book that we got from
my family when we visited this summer. And there's
some pictures of my father before he met my mother
when he was younger and some photos of him that
I had never seen. And I think one of them has,
no, no. I mean, I saw plenty of that growing
up. My parents walked around naked. I got a weird
household. No, same. So he used to have a tattoo
on his arm that just said, fuck you. And then
he got a cover up tattoo. And so the surfboard
for his devil and surfboard, the surfboard covered
up his fuck you. OK, so did your parents have
any tattoos or do they? No, no. If they got a
tattoo, what do you think your dad would have?
if there was one thing to immortalize on his
body i mean my my parents are fairly catholic
so i think it would be for him like a cross but
like a cool denny trejo cross but like what it
really should be is probably like a gin and tonic
oh cool yeah that'd be sick You mean your dad
wouldn't get a tattoo that said born to lose?
No. Pops had one of those right on his forearm.
He had all kinds of good tats. And my mom, I
don't know. My mom really loves swearing. So
I think she might just, she could have fuck you.
A secret fuck you. Somewhere dad would never
see. My dad only has one tattoo, but it's a,
it's a dude on a motorcycle doing a wheelie through
a giant skull that split in half with flames.
jumping out the back of it all and it says uh
i love my son no oh it's basically like a live
fast die young kind of tattoo the hell yeah that
is awesome that's pretty amazing he's an old
biker yeah i get it my ex uh father -in -law
meredith's dad had didn't have any tattoos but
had like an enamel tooth put in at one point
and had it custom done with the uh cyanide pill
no maybe john's john's weird uh no he had uh
the um rolling stone lips put on there so it's
super tiny but like he'd like open his mouth
like if you look to the back of his mouth you
can see that that's so weird and specific yeah
all right okay Where do you guys put this movie
in the like comedy bracket of Nick Cage movies?
Not in like comedies broad. In terms of Nick
Cage movies, it's up there because there aren't
a lot of great comedies in his bracket. Yeah,
that's very true. It's like it's it was funnier
and more fun than I thought it was going to be.
Certainly. That was kind of one of my one of
my thoughts going through this was like, hey,
I know you had the unenviable task early on of
trying to. gather and assemble the original cast
of your brackets and you had to make some just
split decisions uh based on reading uh watching
trailers and reading a handful of reviews yep
it was a fever dream so uh my question to you
then mr peter producer would be of the other
comedy elements in or the other movies in the
comedy half of the bracket what would have you
thrown out knowing what you know now well it's
kind of funny because like i think honestly what
would have gotten punted is a 16 seed which was
army of one i was just thinking about that i
think that's the one that would have been 86
for it because this one was really low rated
so good is the only reason amos and andrew didn't
make it in and the preview trailer for it is
not that good fair so like all the different
bits and pieces of it it's like watching the
trailer for army of one i was like we have to
put this in that voice is fucking insane yes
you know exactly america makes the best chicken
wings so so like at that point it's like that's
the one that would have gotten punted and then
i don't think there's any chance amos and andrew
would have made it as far as army of one would
have gone very true So I think that it's still
like I stand by it. I mean, like it could happen
to you probably is one that I would I would hot
swap this for that without blinking an eye. I
would have kept it. I would lose family man personally.
Yeah, I can see that. That movie's not funny
at all. I mean, the best part of that movie is
just Jeremy Piven. I was going to say Piven is
the best part, which I never would say about
anything ever. Yeah, this is the one time that
sentence will be uttered. Or Trapped in Paradise.
Nope, I stand by that fucking movie. That movie
is god awful. It's so fucking stupid and it's
pretty funny. I need to rewatch that again. I
was literally just talking about that at a bar
with somebody who randomly was like, did you
ever see that one Nick Cage movie with John Lovitz?
And I was like, yes. Of course I have. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I'm looking at other stuff. I'm
like, I just did not enjoy Matchstick Men, which
I should have because I liked everything else.
Like, I love the cast. I liked the director.
I just didn't like the movie. It was too predictable
for something that was supposed to have a twist
to be like, oh, yeah, the girl's totally playing
him. She's conning the con artist. And it's like,
I saw that coming halfway through the movie.
And it's like, I don't have fond memories of
High Noon in Vegas, but I'm glad I was on there.
i mean roy bacon maybe yeah it's got the skydiving
elvises thing i will say about honeymoon in vegas
is when i went to that nicholas cage themed drag
show somebody did a honeymoon in vegas act as
a flying elvis which is fantastic yeah did they
parachute into the drag show no coward for real
i mean there was a roof it was a small place
hopefully there was some coward Hopefully there's
at least some silk involved. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
there was that. You understand art. Yeah, there
was that. But yeah, there were no like aerial
acrobatics. Were there aerial acrobatics? Yeah!
Oh, nipples, dude. Nipples fucking rock. We maybe
have been doing this too long. I don't know.
How many more movies we got left before we never
have to talk to each other again? Still like
20. Well, and the man keeps making movies. Yeah.
I'm still waiting for one of his shows to come
out so we can like talk about those for a few
weeks. You can serialize it. Yeah, shows will
be great. I really can't wait for Carpenter's
Son 2. Oh my. The Jesus horror movie. Oh, people
are really mad about it already. Oh, yes. Have
you been reading, like, the reviews on trailers?
I have not. They're just people just being, like,
real angry. Like, just, like, fucking Bible beaters
and Jesus freaks just freaking out. Like, did
we really need a horror movie about Jesus? We
got one about Winnie the Pooh, so fucking suck
it up. Also, Jesus has been in the public domain
for so much longer. Jesus is part of the public
domain. So, yeah, he plays... ostensibly a jesus
dad character he's the carpenter's dad you know
and the carpenter's son of the movie but it's
also like some weird horror shit biblical kind
of crap so who knows it's probably gonna be dog
shit but oh man fuck yeah we'll go see that absolutely
no if it's at least as good as long legs i'll
be happy yeah there you go so so yeah i just
pulled up the uh carpenter's son trailer uh first
one they're not even trying to hide it anymore
everything out beyond that Bible verses. What
are they not even trying to hide? Don't make
me do the work of looking up what you're going
to say in the Bible. Father, forgive them for
what they know not what they do. Ugh. Yeah, just
a lot of that. Although I like the last temptation
of Cage. Nicolas Cage in Jesus Christ was not
on my bingo card for 2025. That one's good. I
think he's the dad. I don't think he's Jesus.
I think he's a little old to be the son in The
Carpenter's Son. He's got range. Wait, wait,
if he's the dad, that... But not the father.
Oh, fucking... Oh, people and their religion
are crazy. We are truly living in a godless world.
Just speed running the end times with this one.
Okay. Who are your favorite? Who's your favorite
character from this movie? Freeman, you can start.
Maybe it's an outside angle. I'm going to go
with Stacy. It's a delivery girl. Okay. I appreciate
that. She shot down Nick Cage. Yeah. She played
very curious. She really leaned in like like
she was interested in him. But then she's like,
no, you're old and you're a creeper. And I'm
getting off this island. Nice. Good pick. I really
liked Phil Gilman, not as a human being, but
as a heel throughout the movie. Pretty good.
He is always got playing the angle. Yeah. And
he's just so dislikable. The fact that he was
willing to like. let amos kill his current wife
over like rather than give up the like mercedes
that he was given by his second wife this is
so good i like the dog rommel yeah yeah uh also
you're a big rommel fan too i liked i liked the
the press guy Oh, the weird eyebrows guy? No,
it was Andrew. His last name was Lake. Waldo
Lake. I liked him. He was a pretty good character,
you're right. When the cop's like, I need to
confiscate that tape. He's like, I have a First
Amendment right. And Chief Police just goes,
fuck the First Amendment. I'm like, oh, that's
real. Oh, this actually had a... Sorry, I know
you're about to say yours. This had a joke that
I had to look up when... Amos first goes with
the... We're Amos and Andrew. Oh, the Amos and
Andy thing? Yeah. Oh, you didn't know that? No.
You think I listen to a lot of 1920s radio plays?
There's history. I don't know, man. Like, I know
about it. I don't know. Well, I think that's
the setup of the whole... I mean, I might have
known about it. This whole movie. The whole reason
it's called that. Yeah. It's a lean... Like,
all of this is just like an over -the -top, like...
we're just going to make an example. I feel of,
of like racist themes, right? Like it's just,
we're going to lay in layer over and over. Hence
the dog Rommel. Right. And if anyone doesn't
know, so Amos and Andy was a radio play for quite
a while. That was incredibly, incredibly popular.
But it was just like minstrel, blackface -y kind
of whatever. Which they were on the radio. They
didn't have to do the blackface, but they did.
They sure definitely did. Yeah, but it was...
You can hear it. Got them into character. Written
and voiced by two white guys. Two white guys.
Of course. So, yeah. Yeah, so... At some point,
you know, Nick Cage is like, oh, it's us. It's,
you know, we're Amos and Andrew. And he's like,
oh, no, you do not get to say that. I'm not even
going to educate you on the history of that one.
I will say like. So, yeah, going to like, you
know, this is just like, you know, the absurdity
of like all racism. So when the. church group
shows up when brunch shows up and like he instigates
a riot at the house and which leads to the house
being burned down and then he books it real quick
yeah oh we set this man's house on fire we gots
to go like yeah well my favorite character was
dabney coleman as the chief i think that is such
a well done comedic role for somebody playing
it straight but you know just always obsessed
with his like polling numbers and everything
and just like him getting more mummified as he
gets more and more hurt the entire time well
and he just keeps like at any point he doesn't
win no at any point he could have just just makes
it worse gone too far yeah and just yeah makes
it worse oh i know why they got off the island
because according to because uh fucking what
was dilbert dabney fucking blackface cop donnie
donnie uh Donnie Donaldson. Donnie Donaldson.
Cause they find it. Cause Donnie breaks back
into the house. Cause they think that Amos is
still in there. And then the SWAT comes in and
he gets flash banged. And then they pull him
out and be like, we got Amos. We got Amos in
front of the press. And then they realize it's
Donnie. So they take Donnie in and they're like,
we caught him. Yeah. But then they still bring
the bloodhounds to look for the hostages that
they couldn't find. So they're searching. They,
but they want, they don't want the press to know
that. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. Oh, and one
extra bit from the second playthrough, because
I didn't let it run to the end of the credits
on the first playthrough. There is an extra scene
at the end of the dogs running through a field
with Rommel. We forgot the most important thing
about this movie. The Sir Mix -a -Lot song. Yes!
I miss when movies had raps. Yeah, when you have
just a wrap -up song at the end that kind of
tells you everything. And as a kid that grew
up in the Seattle area, as soon as I hear Mix's
voice, I turn to Elizabeth and I go... That's
fucking Sir Mix -a -Lot! And I'm like, why? Just
fucking why? There is absolutely no reason for
Sir Mix -a -Lot to be there. What was the last
line of the song? I just, I can't remember. It
was the N -word. Sir Mix -a -Lot's famous first
N -word. There was a guy who had Sir Mix -a -Lot's
previous phone number. This was just like maybe
eight years ago. And he would constantly be getting
text messages and stuff from people trying to
get a hold of Sir Mix. I don't know. I don't
know what I should call him. Mr. Mr. Mr. Lock.
Mr. Mr. A lot. Mr. Sir Mix. A lot. And he would
have to like keep telling me like this is not
his phone number anymore until eventually Sir
Mix a lot actually was like, hey, I hear you
keep getting my messages. Amazing. Did he make
a voicemail that was like, yay, it's Sir Mix
-a -Lot. You got the wrong fucking number. He
raps it. He's like, hey, if you're looking for
Sir Mix -a -Lot, I'm not going to go any further
with that because that borders on racist again.
If you think it's the number, it is not. Oh!
Thank you. Thank you. Cut it. We're done. this
podcast is over i was surprised to learn that
mix was straight uh straight edge like oh yeah
like like just completely no booze no drugs he
seems like he'd be pouring cognac all over i
ended up backstage at one of his i guess you
don't have to drink the cognac a bunch of guys
were like, let's, let's light a joint and pass
it around. And I'm standing with them. And all
of a sudden Mick smells it. And he's like, all
y 'all tossed out. And we all got tossed out
of the, uh, the green room. Cause I was standing
by the idiot smoking the joint. And, uh, why
is it called the green room? I know. I was like,
I was like, don't be a bummer, man. When I saw
Sir Mix a lot, they had a hype man just throwing
Dick's burgers out. That's over the crowd. So.
Yeah. So like, you're just in the crowd eating
a. Dick's Burger watching Sir Mix -a -Lot. Most
Seattle thing I've done in a long time. I wish
I had a Sir Mix -a -Lot story. Yeah. Final thoughts.
Freeman. Fenton Reverend Brunch. Try that one
again. Reverend Fenton Brunch. Brunchin' Frontin'
Brunch. Take two. Big balls! My final take. Don't
drink buzz balls, kids. Yeah, we're going to
lose. I'm going to lose us the sponsorship we
don't have. Yeah, right. No way. Peter will cut
that drink. We're talking about robo trip in
last episode. Yeah, we're looking for big ball
money. Sea monkeys. I want my family more like
a sea monkey family. Yeah. Nick, Sean, final
thoughts. I think this movie is a real treat.
I think people should watch it. Unless you have
problems with racism. Well, no, I mean, like
everybody should have problems with racism. If
you have problems with people being portrayed
as racist, then you might have an issue with
this. Yeah, that's fair. If you're like those
nice white people can't be racist. They said
so at the beginning. And I trust white people.
Yeah, I will say might be part of the problem.
I will say through the lens of time and media
literacy. there are aspects of this that probably
don't hold up great but i don't think it's atrocious
in any way yeah i agree with that yeah i think
all in all this was kind of a surprise movie
for me where it's sort of like oh this was better
than i thought and i even had you as a heads
up being like it's not that bad and it was better
than you thought better than i thought i had
a good time um but yeah so next next episode
we've got 1993's deadfall which is uh starring
Michael Biehn, your favorite. And he marks it
as one of his worst movies ever. Awesome. I love
Michael Biehn. Yeah. So that's going to be something.
Wait, did you want to say something on Mike?
Well, my mom came through. I texted her asking
what my dad's tattoo says. And it's even better
than I remembered. It says death is certain.
Life is not. I love your dad. Dude, my dad's
pretty chill. That's pretty good. All right,
well, thank you all for listening. Thanks to
our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam,
Bill, and Stuart. And to our Cage Dancers, Ira,
John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. And to Bill
Panks for our intro music. And yeah, we'll see
you in two weeks for Michael Biehn's least favorite
movie. Deadfall. He got paid for Alien 3, so
I, you know. So... Where are we putting this?
I don't know. He got paid a lot to like being
to die. Like, yeah. Or actually, I don't even
think he was in it. I think they just used like
a photo of him. But he got paid for it. That
would be my favorite movie. Get paid a bunch
of money to not do anything. Yeah. That sounds
awesome. Let's get rich. Buzz balls. Yeah. Buzz
balls. I think that's their theme song. Buzz
balls. We can we can write a buzz ball. Texas.
Texas. Buzz balls. Oh, we got to make some truck
nuts with those. Holy fuck. Buzz nuts. That's
actually pretty good. Yeah. If you want to get
pulled over real fucking fast, give yourself
some big buzz balls, biggies, truck nuts. One
of my favorite. Just swanging and dangling. One
of the best jokes I ever came up with off the
cuff, and it didn't get any attention, which
pissed me off. It was on. Back when I was on
Facebook, a friend of mine from high school said,
we just like asked, like, why is there no female
equivalent of trunk nuts? And in her comments,
I just wrote camel toe. And nobody laughed at
it. Did you spell it T .O .W.? Yeah. Good. No
one laughed. Fuck them. Well, Facebook is full
of losers. That's true. This was in Facebook
was cool. Fuck you, Facebook. The end. Bye. Bye.
moved on to reddit bye bye i have two questions
for you peter yeah first question how many buzz
balls to get you a tattoo second question think
about it how many buzz balls to get you a tattoo
of freeman's mustache holy shit Just get a tattoo
of a mustache under your mustache. That's smart.
Anytime I shave it off, I still am mustached.
Yeah, you're still safe. That's a good idea.
I was thinking on your butt, but whatever. Buttstache?
Just put it wherever. It's a fine mustache. I
think I would have to have two biggies. Three
full leaders? Three full leaders. Now, they wouldn't
legally be allowed to give you one. One of our
friends probably can do a tattoo. Yeah.