WEBVTT

00:00:01.399 --> 00:00:24.719
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Cheers, yeah. Enjoy some

00:00:24.719 --> 00:00:32.770
buzz ball. Cheers, Sean. Salud. I mean, it kind

00:00:32.770 --> 00:00:35.090
of just tastes like a white Russian. It's not

00:00:35.090 --> 00:00:36.530
terrible, actually. It pretty much is a white

00:00:36.530 --> 00:00:39.630
Russian. Yeah. Except it's orange wine. Wow.

00:00:40.270 --> 00:00:43.789
It's a very weird concept as a base for a beverage.

00:00:44.030 --> 00:00:46.049
For a chocolate drink. For a chocolate drink.

00:00:46.090 --> 00:00:49.229
Here's your orange wine base. Your 15 % alcohol

00:00:49.229 --> 00:00:53.369
chocolate milk. What is happening over there?

00:00:53.909 --> 00:00:57.549
Well, OK, so a couple of recordings ago, a couple,

00:00:57.609 --> 00:00:59.530
like quite a few recordings ago, Nick, for some

00:00:59.530 --> 00:01:01.969
reason, brought. buzz balls which i'm sure you

00:01:01.969 --> 00:01:04.870
have seen in like the gas station yes oh you

00:01:04.870 --> 00:01:07.010
can get them on the airplanes too oh really yeah

00:01:07.010 --> 00:01:09.530
get those on an airplane that's a hundred are

00:01:09.530 --> 00:01:13.069
you flying spirit you can get them on spirit

00:01:13.069 --> 00:01:15.269
you can get them on frontier you can get them

00:01:15.269 --> 00:01:16.989
on allegiance you can get them on all the low

00:01:16.989 --> 00:01:21.510
-cost carriers yeah nice um so then when i was

00:01:21.510 --> 00:01:24.670
in leavenworth i was wandering around and i said

00:01:24.670 --> 00:01:26.510
nick a picture i was like well next time we've

00:01:26.510 --> 00:01:29.019
got to up our game a little bit and it was What

00:01:29.019 --> 00:01:35.079
he's about to show you, a buzzball biggie. It's

00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:42.180
one and a half liters. This podcast is going

00:01:42.180 --> 00:01:45.180
to devolve real quickly. Well, it depends if

00:01:45.180 --> 00:01:46.799
we drink all three of those buzzball biggies.

00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:50.939
I may be leaving my car on the side of the road

00:01:50.939 --> 00:01:53.120
and you're bringing it home. That would imply

00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:56.519
this podcast has ever evolved into anything.

00:01:57.099 --> 00:01:58.599
Yeah, that's true. We've never really been on

00:01:58.599 --> 00:01:59.739
the rules. I mean, it evolved into something

00:01:59.739 --> 00:02:02.140
that lasted as long as it has, so it involved

00:02:02.140 --> 00:02:05.280
in something. Yeah. I mean, that's just sheer

00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:08.900
stick -to -itiveness. And Peter not letting us

00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:11.240
skip a week. You mean stubbornness. Stubbornness

00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:13.180
is the correct word, Sean. I like stick -to -itiveness.

00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:17.939
Hey, who's a podcast host here? Yeah, Michael.

00:02:19.620 --> 00:02:21.360
We get to make up the words. You're in our realm

00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:26.490
now, bitch. Fine. Yeah. Considering you've never

00:02:26.490 --> 00:02:28.009
listened to an episode of our podcast, you have

00:02:28.009 --> 00:02:29.409
no idea what you're in for. I've listened to

00:02:29.409 --> 00:02:31.930
five. Hey, all right. Really? When did that happen?

00:02:32.069 --> 00:02:34.229
The first five. Oh, you picked Portland. And

00:02:34.229 --> 00:02:36.469
then I realized, no, I don't really need to hear

00:02:36.469 --> 00:02:39.590
Sean and Nick talk about Nick Cage anymore. I

00:02:39.590 --> 00:02:41.729
listen to Sean and Nick at the bar almost every

00:02:41.729 --> 00:02:45.610
day. So, you know. Yeah, but you don't get your

00:02:45.610 --> 00:02:47.990
fill of me now, now that I'm in Portland. I know.

00:02:48.270 --> 00:02:51.150
So maybe I'll go back and listen to them. I recommend

00:02:51.150 --> 00:02:53.759
going backwards now. Start from the beginning.

00:02:53.919 --> 00:02:55.919
No, no, no. Start from the end and go backwards.

00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:57.620
I will promise you one thing. Except for the

00:02:57.620 --> 00:02:59.219
podcast episode. That one's weird to do reverse.

00:02:59.580 --> 00:03:02.000
I will promise you one thing. I will not listen

00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:04.960
to this episode that we're recording now. That's

00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:07.900
fair. Because I hate listening to myself, whether

00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:12.419
it's in an interview or anything. Join the long

00:03:12.419 --> 00:03:14.599
list of other people who hate listening to you.

00:03:14.719 --> 00:03:18.960
Yeah, I know you're on it. Yeah, you're really

00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:23.099
only here for one reason. Yeah, just because

00:03:23.099 --> 00:03:25.699
you made me watch that god -awful film. No, to

00:03:25.699 --> 00:03:29.919
answer for the Italians. Yeah. Oh, I get it.

00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:33.139
This is a racist heritage thing. It is, in fact,

00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:35.580
actually. Because we've decided long ago that

00:03:35.580 --> 00:03:40.939
Italians are not people. My nonna will come after

00:03:40.939 --> 00:03:42.879
you. I don't need to go after Uncle Sal here.

00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:45.759
We have a strong stance in this podcast about

00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:49.210
this. I don't even remember why it started, but

00:03:49.210 --> 00:03:52.990
we really dug into it. Captain Crowley's Mandolin,

00:03:53.110 --> 00:03:55.889
I think. It was Captain Crowley. That tracks.

00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.129
The other war movie. That tracks. He at least

00:03:59.129 --> 00:04:01.090
did an accent in that one. This one was really

00:04:01.090 --> 00:04:04.189
not even an attempt. No. oh i mean he was like

00:04:04.189 --> 00:04:06.969
25 when he did that movie this movie i mean yeah

00:04:06.969 --> 00:04:08.810
but he's done accent work at this point i mean

00:04:08.810 --> 00:04:12.349
well at 25 really well so i mean previously he

00:04:12.349 --> 00:04:15.129
had done an accent it's a very like weird new

00:04:15.129 --> 00:04:17.769
yorker kind of accent for um vampire's kiss but

00:04:17.769 --> 00:04:20.250
he he's doing a voice certainly it's like he

00:04:20.250 --> 00:04:23.620
can commit he just didn't commit to being poorly

00:04:23.620 --> 00:04:26.560
Italian. I don't think anybody ever, like, asked

00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:28.839
him to do a voice for this one, though. Why did

00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:31.100
he get into this movie? I don't know. This is

00:04:31.100 --> 00:04:34.420
a very strange one. I mean, I gotta surmise that

00:04:34.420 --> 00:04:36.240
he must have been dating some Italian chick who

00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.860
knew the director and wanted to impress her.

00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:39.600
Maybe. There's very little facts out there. Sean,

00:04:39.639 --> 00:04:41.779
what were you gonna say? I would assume, to Nick's

00:04:41.779 --> 00:04:43.399
point about no one having asked him to do an

00:04:43.399 --> 00:04:45.899
accent, I assume someone asked him not to, because

00:04:45.899 --> 00:04:49.779
I think his go -to response would be an accent.

00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:53.529
He does love his accent work. Yeah, maybe Boston

00:04:53.529 --> 00:04:57.209
Cop just really didn't play. That's probably

00:04:57.209 --> 00:04:59.649
it. Welcome back to Cage Match, calling a roundabout

00:04:59.649 --> 00:05:01.310
way of meeting Nicholas Cage. I'm your host,

00:05:01.430 --> 00:05:05.629
Sean, with my co -host, Nick, and our producer,

00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:10.750
Peter. Hello. And our friend, Michael. Hello.

00:05:11.189 --> 00:05:14.069
Welcome aboard, Michael. Thank you. You arguably

00:05:14.069 --> 00:05:18.250
have more on -mic experience than us. No, we

00:05:18.250 --> 00:05:19.930
probably have more. We got hours on this shit.

00:05:20.410 --> 00:05:22.189
Yeah, you guys probably have more than I do.

00:05:22.189 --> 00:05:24.009
We got days worth of content. We got days worth

00:05:24.009 --> 00:05:26.689
of our voices. Except I have TV experience where

00:05:26.689 --> 00:05:28.589
you don't. That's true. But that's because we're

00:05:28.589 --> 00:05:31.430
heinously ugly. And that's because I do politics.

00:05:31.649 --> 00:05:35.129
It's only because Pornhub wouldn't let me put

00:05:35.129 --> 00:05:37.790
up a sponsorship thing with them. Thank God.

00:05:38.029 --> 00:05:42.009
It was going to be a great deal. I'm sure. We

00:05:42.009 --> 00:05:44.310
should have done it like when South Park had

00:05:44.310 --> 00:05:48.139
Saddam Hussein. you know it's just the head with

00:05:48.139 --> 00:05:50.459
a little flappy jaw it's just our faces doing

00:05:50.459 --> 00:05:52.620
that the whole time like just do a jib jab yeah

00:05:52.620 --> 00:05:55.899
yeah yeah exactly but like a porny jib jab of

00:05:55.899 --> 00:05:58.279
course yeah this makes sense to me that makes

00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:07.079
our p episode a lot weirder no way guy so uh

00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:10.439
nick what do we do on this podcast uh we mostly

00:06:10.439 --> 00:06:17.170
talk over each other uh tell p jokes and Make

00:06:17.170 --> 00:06:20.509
fun of Hayden. Yep. Yeah, that pretty much sums

00:06:20.509 --> 00:06:22.850
it up. Yeah, I just left Hayden over at the bar

00:06:22.850 --> 00:06:24.290
and he told me, yeah, they're going to talk about

00:06:24.290 --> 00:06:25.910
piss for the first five minutes like they did

00:06:25.910 --> 00:06:27.790
with me. I mean, we can. You guys want to do

00:06:27.790 --> 00:06:30.850
piss talk? Here we are. Just wait till you get

00:06:30.850 --> 00:06:33.860
older and it slows down. Oh, man. I think this

00:06:33.860 --> 00:06:37.040
movie only brings up poop talk. That's true.

00:06:37.220 --> 00:06:39.680
It does. It does. Yeah. That one guy, he's real

00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:44.120
regular at 1530. 1530 every day. I'm about to

00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:47.779
shit my pants. Yeah. I just started the new episodes

00:06:47.779 --> 00:06:50.339
of King of the Hill. Hat tip to Sean for reminding

00:06:50.339 --> 00:06:52.339
me that that was coming out. And it starts off

00:06:52.339 --> 00:06:54.699
with Hank Hill struggling to piss in an airport

00:06:54.699 --> 00:06:58.439
in an airplane bathroom. No, no, it's real. When

00:06:58.439 --> 00:07:00.160
you're when you're taller than six foot, you

00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:01.839
know, getting in those airplane bathrooms and

00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:05.040
yeah. it's it's it's a real problem plus he has

00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:08.319
a narrow you know do like this and how many times

00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:10.180
a night are you up to pee at this point michael

00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:12.319
it depends on how much beer i've drank in that

00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:15.680
day so so if i if i haven't drank a lot of beer

00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:18.199
it's one if i have drank a lot of beer it's two

00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:21.220
to three yeah what about buzzball biggies yeah

00:07:21.220 --> 00:07:24.579
i don't know we'll find out you tell us tomorrow

00:07:24.579 --> 00:07:26.199
we've got three of them here are we gonna get

00:07:26.199 --> 00:07:29.879
through each of all of them god no wait you don't

00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:32.970
each have your own Those have to be future investments.

00:07:33.290 --> 00:07:36.209
Yeah, we're passing that down the line to future

00:07:36.209 --> 00:07:38.589
guests. I was really enjoying the joke because

00:07:38.589 --> 00:07:40.490
I loaded them onto the counter and then the guy

00:07:40.490 --> 00:07:42.850
started ringing them up and I was like, oh no,

00:07:43.029 --> 00:07:48.029
I made a mistake. But I can't back out now. God,

00:07:48.069 --> 00:07:50.730
this thing's delicious. I mean, that's why I

00:07:50.730 --> 00:07:52.410
had to pick the choco because, you know, the

00:07:52.410 --> 00:07:55.149
lime marina was going to be boring. That's true.

00:07:55.250 --> 00:07:56.949
I mean, the berry one or this one made the most

00:07:56.949 --> 00:08:00.350
sense. So I feel pleased. Berries that are, you

00:08:00.350 --> 00:08:04.019
know. bright blue somehow okay blueberries blueberries

00:08:04.019 --> 00:08:07.680
yeah but they're like more purple than that color

00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:10.079
yeah yeah they're red on the inside very natural

00:08:10.079 --> 00:08:12.939
color don't worry about it also blue is blue

00:08:12.939 --> 00:08:15.939
is a flavor just oh yeah blue is definitely a

00:08:15.939 --> 00:08:18.420
flavor but this usually raspberry this blue is

00:08:18.420 --> 00:08:22.240
cherry berry lemonade which doesn't make any

00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:28.939
sense oh man okay so a time to kill 1989 or sorry

00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:33.740
not a time to kill 1989 time to kill 1989 right

00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:35.860
big difference one has matthew mcconaughey a

00:08:35.860 --> 00:08:38.399
real actor yeah hey nicholas cage is a real actor

00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:41.159
he just gets paid for acting yeah yeah this was

00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:43.700
a little rough rough around the edges but michael

00:08:43.700 --> 00:08:45.759
why don't you uh walk us through what the fuck

00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:48.539
this movie is yeah give john a synopsis yeah

00:08:48.539 --> 00:08:52.039
john john called us out he's correct but uh what

00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:53.919
did john call you out on not giving synopses

00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:58.919
yeah okay well fair enough So, I mean, I wrote

00:08:58.919 --> 00:09:01.179
down the description that was in Amazon Prime,

00:09:01.399 --> 00:09:03.460
which is, you know, the streaming service that

00:09:03.460 --> 00:09:07.980
I watched it in. Not an advertisement yet. No,

00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:10.200
no, no. I wish it was. I wish you guys got paid

00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:12.700
to do this stuff. That'd be sweet. That makes

00:09:12.700 --> 00:09:17.320
four of us. So, the description according to

00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:22.200
Amazon Prime. In 1935, when Ethiopia was invaded

00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:25.440
by the Italian army, Lieutenant Silvestri, played

00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:28.659
by Nicolas Cage, sets off for the nearest camp

00:09:28.659 --> 00:09:30.980
hospital to take care of a toothache. En route,

00:09:31.100 --> 00:09:34.679
he meets a young Ethiopian woman, which leads

00:09:34.679 --> 00:09:37.460
to a tragic course of events that devastates

00:09:37.460 --> 00:09:41.600
his entire life. So that's their description

00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:45.799
of what of her life. And I really like that description

00:09:45.799 --> 00:09:48.769
for this film because. It gives you just like

00:09:48.769 --> 00:09:52.289
a couple of key things like. The Italians suck.

00:09:52.649 --> 00:09:56.950
This guy's got a toothache and something is going

00:09:56.950 --> 00:09:59.950
to change the course of this film. Yeah, it's

00:09:59.950 --> 00:10:02.330
like leaves a lot open. And it drew me into that.

00:10:02.470 --> 00:10:06.470
So go ahead. And so he goes, he has this toothache.

00:10:06.669 --> 00:10:11.309
He goes to this other Italian army post where

00:10:11.309 --> 00:10:13.710
they're building a bridge, trying to find the

00:10:13.710 --> 00:10:16.149
doctor. This other guy says, oh, you've got to

00:10:16.149 --> 00:10:18.490
go to the main camp. And here's the quick way.

00:10:18.590 --> 00:10:21.769
Don't take the road. He goes the quick way. He

00:10:21.769 --> 00:10:24.549
shows up at this little waterfall lake and there's

00:10:24.549 --> 00:10:28.129
this beautiful Ethiopian naked girl in it. So

00:10:28.129 --> 00:10:31.539
what does he do? I would stress girl. yeah yeah

00:10:31.539 --> 00:10:34.820
yeah definitely definitely not um yeah so that's

00:10:34.820 --> 00:10:37.379
another strike against the italians okay yeah

00:10:37.379 --> 00:10:39.259
well i mean the italians didn't exactly wrap

00:10:39.259 --> 00:10:42.039
themselves in glory in the 1930s so you know

00:10:42.039 --> 00:10:44.059
we can wrap himself in anything in this movie

00:10:44.059 --> 00:10:50.159
well i mean the girl tries to wrap herself up

00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:53.259
but we'll discuss that in a second um and so

00:10:53.259 --> 00:10:56.340
he you know the girl gets out of the lake and

00:10:56.340 --> 00:11:00.620
she's butt naked and you know he then goes and

00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:02.779
decides oh well she's cute i'm gonna rape her

00:11:02.779 --> 00:11:06.480
15 minutes in the movie in a rape scene i'm like

00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:10.519
do i just turn it off now no i've gotta commit

00:11:10.519 --> 00:11:12.940
i've gotta watch this whole thing now you could

00:11:12.940 --> 00:11:14.460
have come in here and done the power play of

00:11:14.460 --> 00:11:17.240
like You stopped at that 15 minute mark and then

00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:19.480
you just make up the rest of the story. And we're

00:11:19.480 --> 00:11:22.740
all like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have.

00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:26.059
And that thought did cross my mind. And I decided,

00:11:26.100 --> 00:11:28.019
no, I'd stick with the bit to see where this

00:11:28.019 --> 00:11:32.379
was going. And so then within 10 minutes, a rare

00:11:32.379 --> 00:11:35.500
bit of integrity from an Italian. Hey, you know,

00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:37.679
I'm half Irish. The Italian's only a quarter.

00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:41.299
That's not making it better. I just proved you're

00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:46.269
willing to drink a buzzball. I won't tell you

00:11:46.269 --> 00:11:47.850
my other quarter is because that goes with the

00:11:47.850 --> 00:11:50.570
Italian. It's German. But, you know, boy, three

00:11:50.570 --> 00:11:55.250
drunk, stubborn, stupid. Yeah, whatever. So then

00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:59.350
10 minutes later, he kills her. I mean, it was

00:11:59.350 --> 00:12:01.370
accidental, but we'll get back to that. We'll

00:12:01.370 --> 00:12:05.070
get back to that. I don't know that it was. Well,

00:12:05.250 --> 00:12:07.399
I mean, we'll talk about that part, too. We can

00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:09.000
talk about the inferences the movie makes in

00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:11.320
there, but he does kill her. So we've got a rapist,

00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:13.720
a murderer, and, you know, I mean, great way

00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:16.279
to first 20 minutes of a movie. And so there's

00:12:16.279 --> 00:12:18.559
really, you know, all these little scenes of

00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:21.799
this major and that lieutenant and this person

00:12:21.799 --> 00:12:25.259
who all could have reported him at any point.

00:12:25.399 --> 00:12:27.580
And it would have fucked up his shore leave.

00:12:27.700 --> 00:12:29.580
It would have fucked up his shore leave to get

00:12:29.580 --> 00:12:33.909
back to Italy to go see his wife. Mm hmm. So

00:12:33.909 --> 00:12:36.549
he rapes a girl even though he's married. It's

00:12:36.549 --> 00:12:48.049
Italian. It's romantic right now. Have fun editing

00:12:48.049 --> 00:12:50.409
this one, Peter. Yeah, it's a doozy already.

00:12:51.450 --> 00:12:55.090
And he ends up on the boat to go back to Italy

00:12:55.090 --> 00:12:57.610
with the entire Italian troops because they've,

00:12:57.690 --> 00:13:03.440
quote, won the war and no one gave a crap about

00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:07.399
what he did to the native girl because you know

00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:11.220
that's how colonizers work yeah pretty much so

00:13:11.220 --> 00:13:13.620
there's your synopsis john at one point he thinks

00:13:13.620 --> 00:13:17.029
he has leprosy Yeah, I mean, so I rewrote the

00:13:17.029 --> 00:13:18.870
description for Amazon in case anyone's interested.

00:13:19.029 --> 00:13:21.549
I do want to hear your rewrite. Okay, so the

00:13:21.549 --> 00:13:23.490
rewrite, you know, it starts out the same. In

00:13:23.490 --> 00:13:26.669
1935, when Ethiopia is being invaded by the Italian

00:13:26.669 --> 00:13:29.370
army, Lieutenant Silvestri rapes and murders

00:13:29.370 --> 00:13:31.990
an Ethiopian child and tries to cover it up from

00:13:31.990 --> 00:13:34.850
his superiors. What ensues is a series of encounters

00:13:34.850 --> 00:13:37.730
with army officers that could report him, but

00:13:37.730 --> 00:13:39.950
don't. And Lieutenant Silvestri departs for Italy

00:13:39.950 --> 00:13:42.850
with no repercussions as colonizers don't care

00:13:42.850 --> 00:13:45.840
about the rape and murder. indigenous women nice

00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.679
do you think they're gonna accept a better description

00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:50.320
no i don't because no one would watch that movie

00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.500
well facts aren't very interesting you did leave

00:13:53.500 --> 00:13:57.299
out possibly the best scene in the film oh the

00:13:57.299 --> 00:14:01.539
major in his poop well no uh i know it's overshadowed

00:14:01.539 --> 00:14:05.480
by the whole uh lake rape when he's walking along

00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:09.259
and he sees that chameleon and he's like this

00:14:09.259 --> 00:14:12.029
is also my favorite quote And he just looks and

00:14:12.029 --> 00:14:15.309
he's like, smoke, smoke, picks up the chameleon

00:14:15.309 --> 00:14:17.509
and just puts a cigarette in its mouth and lets

00:14:17.509 --> 00:14:21.470
it go. So one of the only notes I saw about this

00:14:21.470 --> 00:14:24.870
movie is that in the UK they cut. 17 seconds

00:14:24.870 --> 00:14:27.210
out of this movie and it was that scene yeah

00:14:27.210 --> 00:14:32.250
nothing else no objections anywhere just that

00:14:32.250 --> 00:14:34.450
we're not fucking around with a cigarette in

00:14:34.450 --> 00:14:36.350
a lizard's mouth i think they actually have pretty

00:14:36.350 --> 00:14:39.529
strong like laws against like animals smoking

00:14:39.529 --> 00:14:43.009
they do i mean i mean pita pita started in the

00:14:43.009 --> 00:14:46.090
uk oh okay the way that chameleon just held it

00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:50.570
just a big ass rolly It's like that thing had

00:14:50.570 --> 00:14:54.570
to have died so quickly after that. It's a chameleon.

00:14:54.570 --> 00:14:57.230
It was going to die anyways. It was Africa. I

00:14:57.230 --> 00:14:59.210
mean, come on. We all knew that cigarette wasn't

00:14:59.210 --> 00:15:01.509
lit. There was no smoke coming off. It was a

00:15:01.509 --> 00:15:04.509
prop. I mean, you know, but yeah, it was funny.

00:15:04.649 --> 00:15:08.070
I agree. I appreciate it. What a weird thing

00:15:08.070 --> 00:15:10.629
to do, though. You just encounter natural wildlife

00:15:10.629 --> 00:15:12.090
and you're like, I'm going to put a smoke in

00:15:12.090 --> 00:15:14.889
your mouth. To be fair, in the 30s without like

00:15:14.889 --> 00:15:18.250
YouTube, I would probably be playing cigarettes

00:15:18.250 --> 00:15:21.159
and animals. mouth check it out bird with a cigarette

00:15:21.159 --> 00:15:23.480
to be fair as someone old enough not to remember

00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:26.480
days with internet you know we did discuss living

00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:29.620
in london putting you know alka seltzer in the

00:15:29.620 --> 00:15:32.019
bird feed for the pigeons in trawler square so

00:15:32.019 --> 00:15:35.139
yeah i can't say that i ever actually did that

00:15:35.139 --> 00:15:38.919
i also can't say i never did that so you know

00:15:38.919 --> 00:15:41.690
fair enough They can't they can't hear your wink

00:15:41.690 --> 00:15:44.669
on our audio podcast. Yeah, you know, and if

00:15:44.669 --> 00:15:48.629
a bird eats Alka -Seltzer, you know, birds can't

00:15:48.629 --> 00:15:51.009
burp. Yeah, it just builds up in their stomach.

00:15:51.210 --> 00:15:54.009
Oh, we knew this in Oregon, too. Yeah, we had

00:15:54.009 --> 00:15:58.090
seagulls. They suck. Birds in general suck. Yeah,

00:15:58.169 --> 00:16:01.769
fuck you, Pete. Yeah, I feel it on birds as well

00:16:01.769 --> 00:16:04.570
now. So this movie is kind of split up into two

00:16:04.570 --> 00:16:08.240
different narrative chunks. There's. The friend

00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:13.860
of Mario. Yeah. Who is recounting this tale of

00:16:13.860 --> 00:16:16.419
what happened. And he's just a narrator at this,

00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.220
like in the beginning and at the end, he kind

00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:20.559
of bookends the film with like, hey, this is

00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:25.259
a story from the war as it was like told to me,

00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:30.539
basically. Then it goes into Nicolas Cage's story

00:16:30.539 --> 00:16:35.220
as it was told to Mario. And this is all dramatized

00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:39.710
in color. And then, you know, his book ended

00:16:39.710 --> 00:16:42.490
at the end with Mario again being like, and,

00:16:42.570 --> 00:16:45.669
you know, that's how things went down. And I

00:16:45.669 --> 00:16:50.610
never saw him again. Real. What's that movie?

00:16:50.870 --> 00:16:54.289
Banger of an ending. The one with the kids and

00:16:54.289 --> 00:16:58.509
the train. Goonies? No. Goonies doesn't have

00:16:58.509 --> 00:17:01.350
a train. That's a boat. Say anything? It's got

00:17:01.350 --> 00:17:03.889
Will Wheaton in it. It does have Wil Wheaton

00:17:03.889 --> 00:17:06.710
in it. It does. Yeah. Stand by me. Stand by me.

00:17:06.730 --> 00:17:09.089
Yeah, I was close. I didn't ask at the beginning.

00:17:09.170 --> 00:17:11.390
You were close. Yeah. Doesn't matter. It doesn't

00:17:11.390 --> 00:17:14.509
have Nick Cage. So it's got like a real stand

00:17:14.509 --> 00:17:17.230
by me thing going with the whole like, oh, and

00:17:17.230 --> 00:17:20.069
then they fade into the history. So like with

00:17:20.069 --> 00:17:23.609
the story that Nicolas Cage's character Enrico

00:17:23.609 --> 00:17:27.670
tells, it's like, oh, he goes off and. you know

00:17:27.670 --> 00:17:30.390
as the toothache so he has to leave six hours

00:17:30.390 --> 00:17:32.410
before the convoy that was going to take them

00:17:32.410 --> 00:17:35.789
so which i can sympathize with toothache suck

00:17:35.789 --> 00:17:39.309
and oh boy when he finally gets to that camp

00:17:39.309 --> 00:17:42.130
and they pull that tooth out it's just like some

00:17:42.130 --> 00:17:45.430
forceps that have been in heated yeah just sitting

00:17:45.430 --> 00:17:48.920
there in a flame and it's like i don't I don't

00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:51.380
envy you. Open up. Is this going to hurt? Yeah.

00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:54.420
Yes. We did get a good Nicolas Cage scream out

00:17:54.420 --> 00:17:56.299
of that. It was good. It's true. Amazingly short

00:17:56.299 --> 00:17:58.900
and weird cuts in this movie, too. Like directorially,

00:17:58.940 --> 00:18:01.640
it's very strange. Yeah. That scream. And then

00:18:01.640 --> 00:18:03.859
it's just immediately cut off and it's just talking

00:18:03.859 --> 00:18:08.839
next. It's it's very 80s Italian Europeans style.

00:18:09.339 --> 00:18:12.799
Yeah. Really mashed. The filming felt very European

00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:16.559
in it. Yeah. So like he leaves to go find this

00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:19.650
doctor. Goes to a construction like his truck

00:18:19.650 --> 00:18:22.529
crashes, goes to a construction site. And some

00:18:22.529 --> 00:18:25.670
dude who's hella sketchy is like, oh, yeah, don't

00:18:25.670 --> 00:18:28.650
walk along the road. Go into the bush. And what

00:18:28.650 --> 00:18:30.470
does he do with that guy? He puts a cigarette

00:18:30.470 --> 00:18:32.390
in his mouth. Yeah, it's true. He gives him a

00:18:32.390 --> 00:18:38.130
cigarette. So we have an established like a series

00:18:38.130 --> 00:18:40.349
of actions where he puts cigarettes and things.

00:18:40.630 --> 00:18:43.430
It's good for him. It's when he stops doing that,

00:18:43.430 --> 00:18:45.730
that everything goes wrong. That's true. Well,

00:18:45.910 --> 00:18:48.390
you know, rations, you only get so many cigarettes.

00:18:48.609 --> 00:18:50.890
I don't know. I don't think there was a scene

00:18:50.890 --> 00:18:53.869
that went by where he wasn't smoking. Yeah. Right,

00:18:53.970 --> 00:18:57.049
because he rationed for himself. Yes. That chameleon

00:18:57.049 --> 00:19:00.690
got the last good one. Last freebie. I mean,

00:19:00.789 --> 00:19:03.710
you know. Yeah. Okay, well. Gotta treat the animals

00:19:03.710 --> 00:19:06.549
nice when you treat yourself. So, like, yeah,

00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:10.250
all of this is just how he presents it. He is

00:19:10.250 --> 00:19:13.940
an unreliable narrator, right? He makes himself

00:19:13.940 --> 00:19:18.359
out to be sort of not heroic, but not like a

00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:20.880
super bad guy. Right. Even though he has committed

00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:23.720
horrible crimes, he's sort of like, ah, shit

00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:27.339
just happens. Right. I'm Italian. You know, here

00:19:27.339 --> 00:19:31.539
it is. And oh, what was me? Yeah. And in like.

00:19:33.799 --> 00:19:39.000
He definitely shot that girl. Right. But was

00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:41.000
it truly the ricochet because he was shooting

00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:44.799
at hyenas? Yeah. Ostensibly. In his retelling

00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.839
of it, he's shooting at a hyena or a jackal or

00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:50.660
whatever to like scare it away. And a ricochet

00:19:50.660 --> 00:19:53.460
bounces back and hits the girl. Right. In the

00:19:53.460 --> 00:19:55.880
stomach. In the stomach. But then later. And

00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:59.140
ostensibly he says. Well, yeah. Yeah. We find

00:19:59.140 --> 00:20:01.940
out later. But his original story was, oh, and

00:20:01.940 --> 00:20:04.339
then she died. And then I came back to camp.

00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:06.519
Right. Because he asked his buddy, you know,

00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:09.480
how can you can you survive a gut shot? How long?

00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:11.720
How long can you survive a gut shot? You know,

00:20:11.819 --> 00:20:15.799
like, I mean, also in his retelling, he's honest

00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.140
about the rape. And then the immediate next scene

00:20:18.140 --> 00:20:20.960
is her all like, let me hold your hand. Yeah,

00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:26.599
I love you. Yeah. Being very daddy's. Yes, it's

00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:29.859
it's just all types of just uncomfortable. And

00:20:29.859 --> 00:20:35.119
I think having lived through the 80s. That movie

00:20:35.119 --> 00:20:37.019
probably would have played a little better and

00:20:37.019 --> 00:20:38.500
that scene would have probably played a little

00:20:38.500 --> 00:20:41.579
better than how we look at it in a modern time

00:20:41.579 --> 00:20:44.420
construct. Yeah, Revenge of the Nerds was a thing,

00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:47.299
right? Yeah, right. I mean, this one, but this

00:20:47.299 --> 00:20:52.180
one was just way more overt than you saw in other

00:20:52.180 --> 00:20:54.720
80s movies. Yeah, this one had a visible no.

00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:56.720
I'm going to rape you. And there was a visible

00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:59.660
no. In Revenge of the Nerds, there was trickery

00:20:59.660 --> 00:21:03.190
involved. Correct. Right. yeah and in porkies

00:21:03.190 --> 00:21:07.390
they call it a tallywhacker yeah so that's a

00:21:07.390 --> 00:21:11.609
that's a lost word you know this one was just

00:21:11.609 --> 00:21:14.269
way more overt which yeah coming out of the italians

00:21:14.269 --> 00:21:16.890
doesn't strike me as uh you know unusual also

00:21:16.890 --> 00:21:19.089
i was just re -watching the beginning of this

00:21:19.089 --> 00:21:22.589
film before we got on and yeah i we have the

00:21:22.589 --> 00:21:25.789
thing with the woman at the lake and then he

00:21:25.789 --> 00:21:28.960
says that he sees what he believes to be her

00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.559
family and some type of procession come through.

00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:34.599
And then it cuts back to the present. Well, the

00:21:34.599 --> 00:21:37.180
present as it's being told from where he's telling

00:21:37.180 --> 00:21:41.759
it, then the bridge site has been destroyed,

00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:47.400
attacked by, by, you know, the, the Ethiopians

00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:49.740
who the Italians are trying to colonize. Right.

00:21:49.779 --> 00:21:53.859
Yeah. And then they go through and while they're

00:21:53.859 --> 00:21:56.720
like, Trying to hunt down the attackers, they

00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:59.099
find the bodies of all the people in that procession

00:21:59.099 --> 00:22:02.720
for the most part. and her town well and the

00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:06.200
thing that i think was was missed was and wasn't

00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:08.059
very well narrated in the movie was there was

00:22:08.059 --> 00:22:10.599
the bit where they were talking about oh this

00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:13.220
special division of italian troops were coming

00:22:13.220 --> 00:22:16.339
to the campsite but we better get there first

00:22:16.339 --> 00:22:19.680
and it's very clear that quote special division

00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.099
would have been the italian version of the ss

00:22:22.099 --> 00:22:25.619
and that the all the dead villagers were reprisals

00:22:25.619 --> 00:22:28.980
for the attack on the bridge construction site

00:22:29.339 --> 00:22:31.880
That was something that wasn't very clear, but

00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:36.180
I understood from, you know, watching way too

00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:38.460
many war movies in my childhood. Being Italian,

00:22:38.519 --> 00:22:42.299
you just knew. No, it's the war movies. You know,

00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:45.980
you watch a lot of war movies when you were in

00:22:45.980 --> 00:22:49.579
the 80s. Because, Sean, were you thinking that

00:22:49.579 --> 00:22:52.869
he did those murders? I was I mean, that was

00:22:52.869 --> 00:22:54.890
kind of like an open question I had was like,

00:22:54.930 --> 00:22:57.589
did he kill those people like those people as

00:22:57.589 --> 00:22:59.210
well? I was curious about it, too, because it

00:22:59.210 --> 00:23:01.250
was very specifically like I'm looking at that

00:23:01.250 --> 00:23:03.289
face and now they're dead. I'm looking at that

00:23:03.289 --> 00:23:06.430
face and now they're dead. Yeah. No, I mean,

00:23:06.430 --> 00:23:08.849
it definitely played that way. But later in the

00:23:08.849 --> 00:23:12.650
movie, they they someone says, well, if you didn't

00:23:12.650 --> 00:23:14.690
kill her, she'd be dead now because of the reprisals.

00:23:14.710 --> 00:23:18.319
There was that line later in the movie. i will

00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:21.019
admit uh i had a really hard time i started this

00:23:21.019 --> 00:23:23.720
movie last night and i was just like nope can't

00:23:23.720 --> 00:23:26.660
do this so i watched it this morning but i watched

00:23:26.660 --> 00:23:29.500
it in two halves so i picked up where the movie

00:23:29.500 --> 00:23:32.440
kind of shifts into like more of a like screwball

00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:35.940
like i'm leaving the military kind of story part

00:23:35.940 --> 00:23:39.299
of what i liked about that piece of the arc was

00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:42.500
that he did seem to be going crazy Which did

00:23:42.500 --> 00:23:45.480
make me think about Vampire's Kiss. He thought

00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.299
he had leprosy. Because he was feverish because

00:23:48.299 --> 00:23:51.480
he didn't have leprosy. His cut that he got when

00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:54.240
he fell over and cut his hand on a rock was infected.

00:23:54.839 --> 00:23:57.799
But, you know, they didn't know these things

00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:00.640
in the 30s. And he had that doctor's book that

00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:03.700
said probably leprosy. I hate to say it, penicillin

00:24:03.700 --> 00:24:07.059
was invented in 28. Yeah, they knew it. Did the

00:24:07.059 --> 00:24:09.680
Italians have it? Yeah. Oh, the Italians were

00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:12.019
the first to get penicillin. Yeah, they're a

00:24:12.019 --> 00:24:13.799
bunch of whiny little bitches. Of course they

00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:16.119
got penicillin. Oh, I was going to say rapists.

00:24:16.140 --> 00:24:20.859
Well, that too, but you know. Got to clean up

00:24:20.859 --> 00:24:23.819
after. Clean up. I do like of all the people

00:24:23.819 --> 00:24:26.880
who he thought was like, of all the reprisal

00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:28.559
for like him thinking that people were coming

00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:30.880
after him the whole time, there's no repercussions

00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:33.640
for him trying to kill the doctor. Yeah, that

00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:36.319
was weird, but he did give a fake name. So he

00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:41.240
gave a fake name and ran away. Yeah. Well, let's

00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:44.259
talk about the the leprosy of it all. He's got

00:24:44.259 --> 00:24:46.559
this cut and it's, you know, kind of infected

00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:48.859
and it looks real fucking shitty. It's on his

00:24:48.859 --> 00:24:53.960
hand. And when he's tooling around with the black

00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:56.759
market guy, the guy who runs the black market,

00:24:56.900 --> 00:24:59.920
Mario and then the major. Yeah, the major. Yeah.

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.410
Yeah. Major, major. They swing by and like. uh

00:25:04.410 --> 00:25:07.849
mario goes to try to hit on a couple ladies and

00:25:07.849 --> 00:25:10.769
uh what you see from the back is like them showing

00:25:10.769 --> 00:25:13.690
mario their hand or whatever and mario's like

00:25:13.690 --> 00:25:17.349
and runs away it's like oh those the major is

00:25:17.349 --> 00:25:19.569
just like ha ha those girls all have leprosy

00:25:19.569 --> 00:25:21.190
and you can tell because they all wear white

00:25:21.190 --> 00:25:24.650
turbans all the white turban girls have leprosy

00:25:24.650 --> 00:25:28.990
so enrico flashback yeah enrico is just like

00:25:28.990 --> 00:25:31.829
oh my god that girl i handled the blood of and

00:25:31.829 --> 00:25:36.140
killed uh she totally had a white turban so now

00:25:36.140 --> 00:25:39.779
he's convinced that he has leprosy and that's

00:25:39.779 --> 00:25:42.200
where like the whole movie is kind of hinged

00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:46.619
on this thought like that's the whole uh like

00:25:46.619 --> 00:25:49.140
mystery of it all at this point which i think

00:25:49.140 --> 00:25:51.319
could be a really effective movie but they didn't

00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:54.799
do a great job with it right and i i liked that

00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:57.930
because it kind of had the same sort of tie and

00:25:57.930 --> 00:26:01.109
feel as like Vampire's Kiss. Like Vampire's Kiss

00:26:01.109 --> 00:26:04.690
is just a more polished version of like, do I

00:26:04.690 --> 00:26:09.329
have this affliction? But it held my interest

00:26:09.329 --> 00:26:11.950
and it was definitely something I liked about

00:26:11.950 --> 00:26:15.269
it. I was going to say this is like it's kind

00:26:15.269 --> 00:26:18.250
of a different movie at this point. Yeah, it

00:26:18.250 --> 00:26:21.390
is. The weird narrative like disjointedness of

00:26:21.390 --> 00:26:24.940
this film did not work for me at all. Well, we're

00:26:24.940 --> 00:26:26.799
not that far into the film when we get to the

00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:30.779
leprosy question. We were halfway. We're halfway

00:26:30.779 --> 00:26:32.640
through the film. Halfway or more. Yeah. So there's

00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.920
still like an hour. Movies, Michael, I know.

00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:37.019
This movie was an hour and 35 minutes. I looked

00:26:37.019 --> 00:26:39.640
because I had to record how much time I wasted

00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:43.680
on it. Yeah. No, we're like a solid like 45 into

00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:47.400
the movie when that starts. Yeah. Yeah. At least.

00:26:47.559 --> 00:26:50.720
But that's not like changing the movie. It's

00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:55.740
just the way the story progresses. The the leprosy

00:26:55.740 --> 00:26:59.079
was always going to be the major conflict for

00:26:59.079 --> 00:27:02.940
Enrico, because if it wasn't there, well, he

00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:04.960
would have just gotten on the boat and left for

00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:07.460
his furlough. Yeah, nothing was holding him back.

00:27:08.019 --> 00:27:10.859
So it was just a way of introducing everything

00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:15.759
up to this is the issue. I mean, if it wasn't

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:17.480
if it wasn't for him thinking he had leprosy,

00:27:17.559 --> 00:27:19.640
he would never ended up back at the village with

00:27:19.640 --> 00:27:22.740
the father of the woman he raped and killed.

00:27:23.610 --> 00:27:28.190
curing his infected wound. And, you know, then

00:27:28.190 --> 00:27:31.670
him basically admitting to the father of this

00:27:31.670 --> 00:27:34.390
girl that he raped and killed her, which was

00:27:34.390 --> 00:27:37.529
weird. Yeah, precisely. If he never questioned

00:27:37.529 --> 00:27:40.849
having leprosy, he would have just gone to the

00:27:40.849 --> 00:27:44.809
camp doctor, gotten some cream on his hand and

00:27:44.809 --> 00:27:47.670
gotten on his boat and left for Italy. Yep. So

00:27:47.670 --> 00:27:52.130
the leprosy is the important part. And the story

00:27:52.130 --> 00:27:57.230
with the girl is just how it gets connected into

00:27:57.230 --> 00:28:00.029
the story. I think how I would have fixed this

00:28:00.029 --> 00:28:03.130
movie in my mind is that all of this stuff that

00:28:03.130 --> 00:28:05.430
he's doing after he's killed her is this like

00:28:05.430 --> 00:28:09.029
self inflection sort of like I'm trying to make

00:28:09.029 --> 00:28:11.529
atonement for what I've done. Like go and meet

00:28:11.529 --> 00:28:13.630
that guy in the village, but have a language

00:28:13.630 --> 00:28:15.890
barrier. And he's just like admitting all these

00:28:15.890 --> 00:28:17.349
things to that guy. And the guy's like, I mean,

00:28:17.349 --> 00:28:19.819
sure, whatever. I'm going to help you. But. You

00:28:19.819 --> 00:28:22.779
know, it's not like literally her dad. Yeah,

00:28:22.900 --> 00:28:26.440
it never felt super important that Johan was.

00:28:26.460 --> 00:28:32.019
Johannes. Johannes was Miriam's. Actual dad.

00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:35.700
Dad, yeah. The implication was there. Sure, but

00:28:35.700 --> 00:28:37.819
like the odds of all of that are all insane.

00:28:38.180 --> 00:28:41.160
And, you know, I mean, it's just like that. That's

00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:43.380
the part that felt trite to me, where like if

00:28:43.380 --> 00:28:45.440
it was really about him trying to like clear

00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:48.220
his soul, that could be interesting because then

00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:50.960
it's just him like. On a different pathway versus

00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:54.079
like a forgiveness arc from the literal dad.

00:28:54.299 --> 00:28:56.180
I don't even think like that's not something

00:28:56.180 --> 00:28:59.359
he was actively seeking at that point either,

00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:03.259
because he didn't go to Italy because he didn't

00:29:03.259 --> 00:29:04.640
want to be caught because he thought he was being

00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:06.720
like chased. He thought he had leprosy and they

00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:09.180
wouldn't let him back in. Yeah, if that's why

00:29:09.180 --> 00:29:11.920
he was running into a leper colony. If he had

00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:13.779
leprosy, they would have just shot him or sent

00:29:13.779 --> 00:29:16.660
him into a leper colony like he had no future.

00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:20.339
in italy yeah yeah if anybody knew about what

00:29:20.339 --> 00:29:22.019
was going on with his hand but the whole thing

00:29:22.019 --> 00:29:23.480
with the major when he catches up with him later

00:29:23.480 --> 00:29:25.759
he robs the major because he's trying to drive

00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:28.640
his way onto a ship yeah to get back to italy

00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:30.579
to his wife where his wife can take care of him

00:29:30.579 --> 00:29:32.680
and no one will find out he has leprosy exactly

00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:34.779
but like the whole thing with him like looking

00:29:34.779 --> 00:29:37.980
for atonement from the father that's like that's

00:29:37.980 --> 00:29:40.920
never part of his like the journey he himself

00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:43.849
is on it just happens Right. That's what I think

00:29:43.849 --> 00:29:46.009
is sucky about it. Yeah. And this could also

00:29:46.009 --> 00:29:49.269
go back to just the, this is how he told the

00:29:49.269 --> 00:29:52.430
story to Mario was, Oh, I went through this whole

00:29:52.430 --> 00:29:56.990
journey and you know, through this, I got, you

00:29:56.990 --> 00:30:00.130
know, forgiveness from the father. So like no

00:30:00.130 --> 00:30:03.789
harm, no foul. And like, Oh, I don't have leprosy.

00:30:04.069 --> 00:30:07.549
So cool. Don't worry about it. Like, like this

00:30:07.549 --> 00:30:10.829
is all like him saying like, Oh, you know, everything's

00:30:10.829 --> 00:30:13.259
good. In reality, he would have gotten on that

00:30:13.259 --> 00:30:15.019
ship anyway, even if they knew that he raped

00:30:15.019 --> 00:30:17.779
and murdered this native woman, Ethiopian woman,

00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:20.259
because, you know, colonizers don't give a fuck

00:30:20.259 --> 00:30:22.619
if you rape and murder indigenous women. Literally,

00:30:22.660 --> 00:30:25.160
like in the beginning, when he tells Mario, Mario's

00:30:25.160 --> 00:30:27.160
like, well, it doesn't seem like anything we

00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:29.880
need to tell anybody. It'll just delay your furlough.

00:30:30.299 --> 00:30:32.019
Right. Exactly. Yeah. You'll just go through

00:30:32.019 --> 00:30:33.720
these proceedings and they'll be like, eh, no

00:30:33.720 --> 00:30:36.660
harm, no foul. Yeah. It just keeps you on, keeps

00:30:36.660 --> 00:30:41.400
you on land for one more boat's length. So. That

00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:43.740
was never a concern. Even his whole redemption

00:30:43.740 --> 00:30:45.500
arc, even in the end, he's like, I don't even

00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:47.619
like who knows if any of that stuff was real.

00:30:47.940 --> 00:30:52.039
Yeah, exactly. Right. Because this is Mario telling

00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:57.700
us what this kind of shady dickhead did and what

00:30:57.700 --> 00:31:00.259
this shady dickhead told him. Told him he did.

00:31:00.380 --> 00:31:05.000
Yeah. This is the accounting of a terrible person.

00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:09.700
I just don't think this movie is made well enough

00:31:09.700 --> 00:31:12.460
to give it that much credit. Thousand percent

00:31:12.460 --> 00:31:16.759
agree. I would disagree. I think this movie's

00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:20.619
got a lot to it, and there's some pretty good

00:31:20.619 --> 00:31:26.180
legs to how it's built. It's just a little unrefined.

00:31:26.220 --> 00:31:29.539
Like, it could have been polished. I think there's

00:31:29.539 --> 00:31:31.940
a good story to it. You know, I don't have to

00:31:31.940 --> 00:31:34.400
like the content. But is it a story that we really

00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.700
need to hear? No. Well, we can't pretend like

00:31:37.700 --> 00:31:40.400
things don't happen just because we don't like

00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:45.599
them. But do you really need that? And it's like

00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:48.220
one thing like leaving in his other movie, Leaving

00:31:48.220 --> 00:31:52.759
Las Vegas, where there's a rape scene. That was

00:31:52.759 --> 00:31:59.109
much, much more of a of a important. plot piece

00:31:59.109 --> 00:32:02.890
and it wasn't contrived and it wasn't whereas

00:32:02.890 --> 00:32:04.990
this just felt like oh we're gonna rape this

00:32:04.990 --> 00:32:08.509
woman because we can yeah it didn't have to be

00:32:08.509 --> 00:32:11.009
rape yeah because you could take the the sexual

00:32:11.009 --> 00:32:13.970
element out of all of it and it could be that

00:32:13.970 --> 00:32:17.289
he found like solace with this woman in the woods

00:32:17.289 --> 00:32:19.690
when he's lost and she helps him she gives him

00:32:19.690 --> 00:32:21.450
some food but like they could have had moments

00:32:21.450 --> 00:32:25.509
that were non sexual in any way you know and

00:32:25.509 --> 00:32:27.329
he gives her the watch and all that kind of stuff

00:32:27.329 --> 00:32:29.369
it all could still work the same way without

00:32:29.369 --> 00:32:33.450
that and they just chose that angle and it feels

00:32:33.450 --> 00:32:36.230
very weird yeah it could have done a love it

00:32:36.230 --> 00:32:38.490
for a sight thing but no they chose even take

00:32:38.490 --> 00:32:40.869
love out of it you could still have the accidental

00:32:40.869 --> 00:32:43.690
situation quote unquote of shooting her you know

00:32:43.690 --> 00:32:45.630
with the ricochet if there was just like oh well

00:32:45.630 --> 00:32:47.609
it's too late to go back to the camp right now

00:32:47.609 --> 00:32:49.150
we don't want to be stuck in the woods in the

00:32:49.150 --> 00:32:52.490
dark let's make a little campfire like all of

00:32:52.490 --> 00:32:55.750
it could be there in a normal way but and not

00:32:55.750 --> 00:32:57.990
to say you can't do that you do have other hurdles

00:32:57.990 --> 00:33:01.529
in that situation because why would he have killed

00:33:01.529 --> 00:33:04.829
her like well if he had shot at the thing and

00:33:04.829 --> 00:33:06.549
it bounced and hit her in the gut and that's

00:33:06.549 --> 00:33:08.650
the ricochet was the truth well that's yeah if

00:33:08.650 --> 00:33:12.670
it was the truth this film is As I recall from

00:33:12.670 --> 00:33:15.390
reading the Wikipedia entry after, you know.

00:33:15.950 --> 00:33:20.009
Mr. Research here. Wow. You know. Tell us the

00:33:20.009 --> 00:33:22.670
director's name. The reality is I can't remember

00:33:22.670 --> 00:33:25.779
the director's name. Some Italian guy. I went

00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:27.660
to this movie. I raw -dogged this movie. I didn't

00:33:27.660 --> 00:33:28.980
look at anything beforehand. The only thing I

00:33:28.980 --> 00:33:31.000
read beforehand was the description on Amazon

00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:33.859
Prime. I'm just like, all right, I'm just going

00:33:33.859 --> 00:33:37.059
to go watch this. Fine, whatever. Then after

00:33:37.059 --> 00:33:41.519
it, I looked up on Wikipedia. This movie is actually

00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:44.640
based on a book. I'm wondering if the reason

00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:47.200
there's dual narrators is the book has dual narrators.

00:33:47.460 --> 00:33:51.859
Probably. Whether that works or not is a different

00:33:51.859 --> 00:33:54.619
story. I found it a little weird because Whose

00:33:54.619 --> 00:33:57.160
voice am I hearing this through? Whose recount

00:33:57.160 --> 00:34:00.660
of the story am I listening to? And it seems

00:34:00.660 --> 00:34:03.619
like in the first half of the movie, it's the

00:34:03.619 --> 00:34:07.519
recount of Mario and how Enrique is telling Mario

00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:10.800
what happened. And the second half in the sort

00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:14.980
of quasi redemption arc, it's Enrico telling

00:34:14.980 --> 00:34:18.809
us what. actually happened and then at the very

00:34:18.809 --> 00:34:22.690
end Mario returns and it's hey we're all leaving

00:34:22.690 --> 00:34:25.769
Italy so none of this really matters and I never

00:34:25.769 --> 00:34:28.710
saw this guy again yeah that sums it up pretty

00:34:28.710 --> 00:34:36.519
well really unsatisfying yeah okay This is a

00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:40.199
tough one. Bella Luna. Bella Luna. Did any of

00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:42.719
you have a quote that you liked from this movie?

00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:46.559
Just the have a smoke to the chameleon. No, not

00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:51.739
really. I don't think his acting is great in

00:34:51.739 --> 00:34:54.559
this film, but there are some performance choices

00:34:54.559 --> 00:34:57.920
that are made that are entertaining. Yeah. I

00:34:57.920 --> 00:34:59.559
mean, in terms of quotes, Michael, did you have

00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:01.940
one? The only one that made me laugh in this

00:35:01.940 --> 00:35:04.099
whole movie, there's only one that made me even,

00:35:04.139 --> 00:35:05.860
and it wasn't even a laugh, it was a chuckle

00:35:05.860 --> 00:35:08.539
at best, was, you know, they're drinking. Not

00:35:08.539 --> 00:35:13.139
a comedy. I understand that. But, you know, they're

00:35:13.139 --> 00:35:15.219
drinking with the major and he goes, oh, do you

00:35:15.219 --> 00:35:17.599
know this person? And the guy goes, not personally.

00:35:17.780 --> 00:35:20.179
And they find that absolutely freaking hysterical.

00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:22.860
Yeah. So not personally, no, I don't really have

00:35:22.860 --> 00:35:25.949
any. Yeah. I there were two that kind of stood

00:35:25.949 --> 00:35:27.409
out to me. There's one where he's giving her

00:35:27.409 --> 00:35:30.090
food or trying to. I know you're hungry, so I

00:35:30.090 --> 00:35:32.710
have something to eat. This is yum, yum, good.

00:35:36.110 --> 00:35:38.510
That's the kind of like performance I'm talking

00:35:38.510 --> 00:35:41.230
about. Yeah, it was very weird for an Italian.

00:35:42.610 --> 00:35:44.670
And then the other one, when when he's with the

00:35:44.670 --> 00:35:46.250
major at the end, when he's going to rob him

00:35:46.250 --> 00:35:49.849
and the major has to go take his, you know, 330

00:35:49.849 --> 00:35:53.780
shit or whatever. 1530 1530 shit sorry in the

00:35:53.780 --> 00:35:56.559
military here military 1530 sure European too

00:35:56.559 --> 00:35:58.719
I like that he's just doing it like right by

00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:00.760
a tree right next to his buddy when you gotta

00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:02.659
go you gotta go just right in front of the truck

00:36:02.659 --> 00:36:04.519
even god that reminds me of my trip to Mongolia

00:36:04.519 --> 00:36:06.400
that's how you had to take a poop in Mongolia

00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:08.059
I get it I mean come on you just shit where you

00:36:08.059 --> 00:36:10.079
shit you shit where you shit uh but yeah then

00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:12.460
so the major is watching him like walk off after

00:36:12.460 --> 00:36:13.980
he's been robbed he says if this is your idea

00:36:13.980 --> 00:36:15.739
of a joke lieutenant I order you to come back

00:36:15.739 --> 00:36:19.400
right here immediately and it's just I'm not

00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:23.320
joking, Major. And then he just says, fuck you.

00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:27.960
And fuck off. I love that. I love how he also

00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:30.739
calls him an anti -fascist in that scene. He's

00:36:30.739 --> 00:36:33.440
like, you're an anti -fascist and tries to shoot

00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:37.400
him. I took the bullets from your gun. Curses.

00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:39.920
Meanwhile, I'm illegally setting up a black market

00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:42.619
operation in Ethiopia. I'm not an anti -fascist

00:36:42.619 --> 00:36:47.860
at all. Yeah. uh the major was a great character

00:36:47.860 --> 00:36:50.380
i liked the major the major was a lot of fun

00:36:50.380 --> 00:36:52.860
to watch i had a hard time trying to figure out

00:36:52.860 --> 00:36:55.019
the difference between the mario and the major

00:36:55.019 --> 00:36:57.000
every once in a while i would mix them up especially

00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:00.860
looking at their imdb pictures they aged basically

00:37:00.860 --> 00:37:02.920
the exact same and look like the same human being

00:37:02.920 --> 00:37:09.050
that's all of italy that's italian oh also amazing

00:37:09.050 --> 00:37:12.210
on imdb the the art for this movie is just like

00:37:12.210 --> 00:37:14.809
a folded up poster that has all the creases in

00:37:14.809 --> 00:37:16.829
it and everything this movie is weird you cannot

00:37:16.829 --> 00:37:19.329
find it fucking almost anywhere yeah you found

00:37:19.329 --> 00:37:22.409
it on probably freebie on amazon no i had to

00:37:22.409 --> 00:37:24.429
pay for it okay yeah yeah so not only did you

00:37:24.429 --> 00:37:27.269
guys waste an hour and 35 minutes of your life

00:37:27.269 --> 00:37:29.429
yeah well i thought i was gonna watch it twice

00:37:29.429 --> 00:37:31.349
so i actually bought it at seven dollars and

00:37:31.349 --> 00:37:33.909
74 cents that would have been a steal you guys

00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:36.590
wasted seven dollars 74 cents of my money in

00:37:36.590 --> 00:37:38.480
an hour and a half half my time you get this

00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:43.900
you know i mean that's yeah okay you do get sounds

00:37:43.900 --> 00:37:46.440
like eight hours getting closer to even to watch

00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:50.199
a rental i will say my favorite part of this

00:37:50.199 --> 00:37:52.280
film nick cage has an awesome hat when they're

00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:56.260
going in like check looking for um oh yeah he's

00:37:56.260 --> 00:37:58.340
got the jungle hat the pith helmet oh yeah those

00:37:58.340 --> 00:38:00.360
are cool yeah i always wanted to get pita pith

00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:02.320
helmet because he used to wear that safari shirt

00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:04.639
all the time like the brown one with the lapels

00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:06.750
on it for some fucking reason Yeah, you should

00:38:06.750 --> 00:38:08.769
get him a pith helmet. I know. I've got a picture

00:38:08.769 --> 00:38:11.570
of me wearing a pith helmet trying to convince

00:38:11.570 --> 00:38:16.670
Pete. So good. Fantastic. I love a good pith

00:38:16.670 --> 00:38:20.929
helmet. OK, so I understand, Sean and Michael,

00:38:21.050 --> 00:38:24.110
where you guys are. It's not like super high

00:38:24.110 --> 00:38:25.929
on your list of movies that you liked. But were

00:38:25.929 --> 00:38:28.150
there things that you did enjoy about the movie?

00:38:28.630 --> 00:38:31.429
OK, so I have to say, you know, right from the

00:38:31.429 --> 00:38:35.539
beginning, I kind of had mediocre hopes. for

00:38:35.539 --> 00:38:38.579
this movie because you cut to the scene where

00:38:38.579 --> 00:38:41.639
the con so he he leaves six hours for the convoy

00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:44.400
on his journey you know enrico does and then

00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:49.440
then the truck crashes and enrico goes and starts

00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:51.320
walking to wherever he's walking and then you

00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:55.159
cut to the scene where the convoy has left and

00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:57.460
they're going down the road and they're about

00:38:57.460 --> 00:39:01.679
to find the crash truck and it really reminded

00:39:01.679 --> 00:39:06.150
me of the scene in the movie Patton about George

00:39:06.150 --> 00:39:10.130
S. Patton in Sicily, driving down these, this

00:39:10.130 --> 00:39:13.190
narrow winding road, the whole column of tanks.

00:39:13.469 --> 00:39:16.230
And it felt like the director was trying to take

00:39:16.230 --> 00:39:20.150
from that movie. And so I got, oh, hey, wow,

00:39:20.309 --> 00:39:22.489
this is someone who actually knows movies and

00:39:22.489 --> 00:39:25.269
can actually produce maybe a good war movie here.

00:39:26.429 --> 00:39:29.230
And then it just goes downhill from there. So

00:39:29.230 --> 00:39:32.309
that's like my one good point. It was an interesting

00:39:32.309 --> 00:39:38.369
cinematography. Cinematography. Cinemagraphic

00:39:38.369 --> 00:39:40.630
moment. Thank you. Thank you. That's not a word.

00:39:41.590 --> 00:39:45.889
We're podcasters. Trust us. Yeah. Anyway, it

00:39:45.889 --> 00:39:51.750
looked good on screen. So for me, narratively,

00:39:51.750 --> 00:39:54.849
structurally, just this movie does not hold water

00:39:54.849 --> 00:39:57.619
for me. kept taking me out of the film which

00:39:57.619 --> 00:40:01.099
is largely what i will judge a movie based on

00:40:01.099 --> 00:40:03.380
the most is like if i have to like if i'm critiquing

00:40:03.380 --> 00:40:04.739
the film while i'm watching it it's not doing

00:40:04.739 --> 00:40:07.400
a good job of engaging me visually i will say

00:40:07.400 --> 00:40:10.679
i did like the cinematography um i can't tell

00:40:10.679 --> 00:40:15.719
you why it's black and white at the end i can't

00:40:15.719 --> 00:40:17.059
tell you why it's black and white at the end

00:40:17.059 --> 00:40:19.739
uh my assumption is because they wanted to like

00:40:19.739 --> 00:40:22.219
cut newsreel footage in there and have that match

00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:25.539
up that's exactly why but narratively it does

00:40:25.539 --> 00:40:27.000
nothing for the film. And it's just like, this

00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:30.579
is weird. And I just, I, it's just an, it just

00:40:30.579 --> 00:40:33.539
punctuated the, this wasn't made well for me.

00:40:34.820 --> 00:40:36.880
Fair enough. I mean, there's a reason why I got

00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:40.719
a 28 % on rotten tomatoes. Yeah. I mean, there,

00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:43.980
there's a lot of like pretty bad Nick cage movies

00:40:43.980 --> 00:40:46.760
out there, you know? And it, so now the next

00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:47.900
thing that I want to talk about is just sort

00:40:47.900 --> 00:40:50.199
of like, we didn't really do this back at the

00:40:50.199 --> 00:40:52.150
beginning. five episodes that you've listened

00:40:52.150 --> 00:40:54.530
to, but we later got to it with sort of like

00:40:54.530 --> 00:40:59.030
the, the matrix of good movie, good cage performance,

00:40:59.309 --> 00:41:02.210
bad movie, bad cage performance. Where on that

00:41:02.210 --> 00:41:05.130
grid. Yeah. Thank you, Sean. Where on that grid

00:41:05.130 --> 00:41:12.369
would you put this dot? Uh, it would be very,

00:41:12.489 --> 00:41:17.730
very far on the bad movie list and it would be.

00:41:19.820 --> 00:41:24.659
below the line on good, bad Cage performance,

00:41:24.820 --> 00:41:30.239
but not a lot below. He didn't do a bad job,

00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:35.130
but he wasn't given much to work with. I mean,

00:41:35.130 --> 00:41:37.889
he could have done that accent. Yeah, right.

00:41:38.150 --> 00:41:40.010
Again, I have to assume he just asked him not

00:41:40.010 --> 00:41:42.230
to. Yeah, I like that take. I think that makes

00:41:42.230 --> 00:41:44.030
a lot of sense. I mean, he probably tried it

00:41:44.030 --> 00:41:46.050
and the Italians just looked at him and were

00:41:46.050 --> 00:41:48.110
just like, no. He probably tried and started

00:41:48.110 --> 00:41:50.409
sounding like my Uncle Sal from New York. Yeah,

00:41:50.449 --> 00:41:54.070
you know, I mean. Well, he'd done Moonstruck

00:41:54.070 --> 00:41:57.250
at this point, right? Yeah, which is not a good

00:41:57.250 --> 00:41:59.570
Italian accent. No, I'm not talking about the

00:41:59.570 --> 00:42:01.110
accent, but he knew how to do the hand work.

00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:03.769
He had the hand guide. He only had one hand.

00:42:03.889 --> 00:42:09.949
Oh, that's true. This one was static. Yeah. Both

00:42:09.949 --> 00:42:12.230
characters have a weird hand thing. That's true.

00:42:12.670 --> 00:42:15.110
I won't say the performances are like terrible.

00:42:15.230 --> 00:42:17.170
They're forgettable. Like Nick Cage is ultimately,

00:42:17.230 --> 00:42:19.489
I feel like forgettable in this. My one like

00:42:19.489 --> 00:42:21.650
thought while watching this film was just like,

00:42:21.710 --> 00:42:25.130
I'm surprised this man became the star he is.

00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:29.019
Well, I'm surprised he was given as many chances

00:42:29.019 --> 00:42:31.739
as he was given some of these films. Now, you

00:42:31.739 --> 00:42:33.440
guys obviously know a lot more about Nick Cage

00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:36.340
than I do, but he strikes me as the actor that

00:42:36.340 --> 00:42:38.940
just doesn't say no to shit. Well, at this point

00:42:38.940 --> 00:42:42.739
in his career, he really didn't have much weight

00:42:42.739 --> 00:42:45.780
to say no to a lot of things. The few successes

00:42:45.780 --> 00:42:53.179
he has had were pretty limited in scale. Yeah,

00:42:53.179 --> 00:42:55.420
Valley Girl and things like that. Pegasi was

00:42:55.420 --> 00:42:58.519
later. I'm pretty sure by 1989, he's already

00:42:58.519 --> 00:43:01.139
done Moonstruck. He probably could have rejected

00:43:01.139 --> 00:43:07.380
a Italian directed Italian movie that really

00:43:07.380 --> 00:43:08.860
probably didn't have a lot of money behind it.

00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:11.539
He is a cinephile, though. Yeah. I mean, he's

00:43:11.539 --> 00:43:14.239
still doing foreign films at this point. This

00:43:14.239 --> 00:43:19.880
Greasy Bottom Boys. Mm hmm. Foreign movies. Yeah.

00:43:19.980 --> 00:43:21.519
I mean, it's an interesting thing. So at this

00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:24.219
point, he was a nothing in Fast Times at Ridgemont

00:43:24.219 --> 00:43:28.800
High. He was. a star Valley girl. He was a character

00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:31.679
in rumble fish racing with the moon was his like

00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:35.079
big Europe, part of the star names on this, but

00:43:35.079 --> 00:43:38.280
he was the lesser star cotton club. He's a bit

00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:42.579
part birdie. He's a main, but that was not like

00:43:42.579 --> 00:43:46.519
a super. hot movie no it's pretty indie for the

00:43:46.519 --> 00:43:49.099
time boy in blue was canadian peggy sue got married

00:43:49.099 --> 00:43:51.559
did happen before this um so he was in there

00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:54.519
but that was nepotism and a bit of a bit in a

00:43:54.519 --> 00:43:59.079
weird part yeah raising arizona that's the standout

00:43:59.079 --> 00:44:01.960
certainly moonstruck another standout vampire's

00:44:01.960 --> 00:44:05.360
kiss should have been a standout but wasn't um

00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:10.199
and then time to kill and our next one never

00:44:10.199 --> 00:44:13.320
on tuesday where he plays man in red sports car

00:44:13.719 --> 00:44:17.320
yeah nice yeah so he isn't like a star or anything

00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:19.900
at this point right he's had some films he's

00:44:19.900 --> 00:44:24.579
had you know some like good parts a bunch of

00:44:24.579 --> 00:44:28.000
those movies like i don't think we're critical

00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:30.579
successes in their time like when they came out

00:44:30.579 --> 00:44:33.320
right retrospectively it's different but like

00:44:33.320 --> 00:44:36.780
we look back with the lens of history on our

00:44:36.780 --> 00:44:40.019
side and we can tell he's gonna be a star but

00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:42.820
he's got it at the time like you know he was

00:44:42.820 --> 00:44:47.400
also still trying to be a fairly well -rounded

00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:50.340
actor at this point like do a do a foreign film

00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:53.380
do something do some historicals and there is

00:44:53.380 --> 00:44:55.019
still some of that like getting out of the shadow

00:44:55.019 --> 00:44:58.579
of your family name right you know yeah that's

00:44:58.579 --> 00:45:02.119
true so It's a weird one. I don't disagree with

00:45:02.119 --> 00:45:04.300
that assessment, but it does kind of make sense

00:45:04.300 --> 00:45:06.260
in some of the context. What you're talking about

00:45:06.260 --> 00:45:08.980
later is when he was in Tax Trouble and he did

00:45:08.980 --> 00:45:13.000
do most movies. Yeah. Why does it not surprise

00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:16.300
me that Nick Cage was in Tax Trouble? When do

00:45:16.300 --> 00:45:19.320
we watch Tax Trouble? Tax Trouble. Oh, it's a

00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:23.519
musical? Shit. Tax Trouble the musical. Jazz

00:45:23.519 --> 00:45:26.159
hands. It's just a whole bunch of T -Rex skulls

00:45:26.159 --> 00:45:29.670
clanking around. A missing Superman comic. Action

00:45:29.670 --> 00:45:32.210
Comics 1. A King Cobra loose in the audience.

00:45:32.329 --> 00:45:37.530
Yeah, just let it go. So to get back to The Matrix,

00:45:37.670 --> 00:45:40.650
I think there could be an interesting film here.

00:45:41.489 --> 00:45:44.789
I just don't think this is it. But I put Nicolas

00:45:44.789 --> 00:45:48.090
Cage firmly and kind of mid in this, which for

00:45:48.090 --> 00:45:50.570
me is kind of the worst thing you could say.

00:45:50.610 --> 00:45:52.610
You could give the worst review you can give

00:45:52.610 --> 00:45:55.570
Nick Cage. Sure. You know, I'll put his performance

00:45:55.570 --> 00:45:58.719
in. you know serviceable it's it's good enough

00:45:58.719 --> 00:46:04.380
i was never taken aback by his choices or anything

00:46:04.380 --> 00:46:07.940
in it and the movie um i'd give it slightly better

00:46:07.940 --> 00:46:13.340
than i give it like a 5 .5 so yeah okay that's

00:46:13.340 --> 00:46:16.659
pretty generous i'm kind of in like movie and

00:46:16.659 --> 00:46:19.760
performance at the like 35 sort of zone where

00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:23.409
it's like they're both fine i can see what was

00:46:23.409 --> 00:46:26.909
going on here and why it doesn't super light

00:46:26.909 --> 00:46:29.809
it for me but different director different time

00:46:29.809 --> 00:46:32.650
different change everything and i might like

00:46:32.650 --> 00:46:37.929
i just like chasing the thought of like like

00:46:37.929 --> 00:46:41.550
i'm i was fairly sure through the whole film

00:46:41.550 --> 00:46:43.989
that he was not gonna have leprosy but it's like

00:46:43.989 --> 00:46:46.809
you have to stick around and be like what if

00:46:46.809 --> 00:46:49.480
i can yeah Like show me that he doesn't have

00:46:49.480 --> 00:46:51.679
leprosy. Like show me that he does have leprosy.

00:46:51.679 --> 00:46:53.300
Cause it's like, he's going through, he's going

00:46:53.300 --> 00:46:54.820
through, he thinks he has leprosy. He thinks

00:46:54.820 --> 00:46:56.159
he has leprosy. Eventually he's going to find

00:46:56.159 --> 00:46:58.840
out he just had an infected wound. And then what

00:46:58.840 --> 00:47:00.980
does he do with himself? This is why he was just

00:47:00.980 --> 00:47:03.360
so unsympathetic, even though the movie was trying

00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:04.980
to make him a sympathetic character, because

00:47:04.980 --> 00:47:08.599
y 'all knew that he was going to eventually find

00:47:08.599 --> 00:47:12.000
out he doesn't have leprosy. And then. was he

00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:14.300
going to still be guilty about raping and killing

00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:17.179
this woman? Or was he going to be a typical colonizer

00:47:17.179 --> 00:47:19.179
and be like, yeah, okay, great. I waved and killed

00:47:19.179 --> 00:47:21.179
a native woman. And then I went home to my wife.

00:47:21.260 --> 00:47:23.260
I would argue that the movie doesn't try to make

00:47:23.260 --> 00:47:26.019
him sympathetic. It's his recounting of the events

00:47:26.019 --> 00:47:28.719
that makes him. And that's, that's the plot.

00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:31.460
That's part of the movie. So whether or not the

00:47:31.460 --> 00:47:33.320
direction and everything else tries to make him

00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:35.699
sympathetic, the plot is trying to make him a

00:47:35.699 --> 00:47:38.730
sympathetic character. yeah if you buy the plot

00:47:38.730 --> 00:47:40.530
right i think that's where what i was saying

00:47:40.530 --> 00:47:42.610
earlier like if you had really played up how

00:47:42.610 --> 00:47:45.670
unreliable a narrator he is that angle plays

00:47:45.670 --> 00:47:47.889
right yeah if we had gotten some sympathetic

00:47:47.889 --> 00:47:50.610
from his own perspective and then you look at

00:47:50.610 --> 00:47:52.210
it from any outside perspective and you're like

00:47:52.210 --> 00:47:54.329
that guy's fucking lying this movie could have

00:47:54.329 --> 00:48:00.070
been like improved a lot by having somebody there

00:48:00.070 --> 00:48:03.230
to kind of call out the bullshit like once or

00:48:03.230 --> 00:48:05.690
twice right and it's like the doctor tried to

00:48:05.690 --> 00:48:07.909
call out the bullshit by making him by wanting

00:48:07.909 --> 00:48:10.829
to like look at his hand and you know yeah you

00:48:10.829 --> 00:48:12.730
don't have here's the book on it you could show

00:48:12.730 --> 00:48:14.349
that you don't have leprosy right you come on

00:48:14.349 --> 00:48:16.030
just show me your hand right then that's basically

00:48:16.030 --> 00:48:18.369
the doctor was trying to do and nicholas cage

00:48:18.369 --> 00:48:23.969
was the care enrico was so paranoid about having

00:48:23.969 --> 00:48:26.389
leprosy and then someone asking questions about

00:48:26.389 --> 00:48:30.420
how you got it then going Being guilty of raping

00:48:30.420 --> 00:48:32.079
and murdering someone, even though, you know,

00:48:32.079 --> 00:48:35.539
colonizers don't care about that. You know, it

00:48:35.539 --> 00:48:43.119
was it was a little. Disbelievable that someone

00:48:43.119 --> 00:48:46.059
even in 1930 wouldn't have realized that, oh,

00:48:46.119 --> 00:48:48.920
it's my cut that's infected. I don't have leprosy.

00:48:48.920 --> 00:48:52.059
Right. So there's room for improvement for sure.

00:48:52.179 --> 00:48:56.139
Yeah. But I like the premise of this film. it's

00:48:56.139 --> 00:48:57.960
it's fine don't go watch it don't go watch it

00:48:57.960 --> 00:49:00.420
it's hard to find anyway yeah i mean if you want

00:49:00.420 --> 00:49:02.639
to know you can rent it on amazon prime yeah

00:49:02.639 --> 00:49:04.719
it's not really that hard you can rent it it's

00:49:04.719 --> 00:49:08.159
hard to find it for free it's impossible i looked

00:49:08.159 --> 00:49:10.420
uh the internet internet archive man i sent you

00:49:10.420 --> 00:49:13.659
a link i know i know i know i actually had to

00:49:14.429 --> 00:49:17.289
boot up the internet archive because the amazon

00:49:17.289 --> 00:49:20.489
version which looks like a straight up vhs rip

00:49:20.489 --> 00:49:23.909
oh yeah uh is missing like the last two words

00:49:23.909 --> 00:49:27.369
so i wasn't like of the narration so it's like

00:49:27.369 --> 00:49:30.090
the movie just cuts off and i was like how does

00:49:30.090 --> 00:49:32.710
it is there more was there more lines i had to

00:49:32.710 --> 00:49:34.829
get on the internet and no no there was there's

00:49:34.829 --> 00:49:36.909
like two more words two words and it was like

00:49:36.909 --> 00:49:39.610
and i watched it via my xbox and so i was able

00:49:39.610 --> 00:49:42.929
to go back to the button that says watch credits

00:49:42.929 --> 00:49:46.409
and it was there yeah if you back out of the

00:49:46.409 --> 00:49:49.369
like coming up next like if you back out of the

00:49:49.369 --> 00:49:52.769
you know booting up the next thing it'll play

00:49:52.769 --> 00:49:54.989
the last two words oh it didn't want to do that

00:49:54.989 --> 00:49:57.489
for me like it was just like What were the last

00:49:57.489 --> 00:50:00.769
two words? To kill? No. Ever again, probably.

00:50:00.849 --> 00:50:03.969
Ever again. Yeah. Because it was like, and we

00:50:03.969 --> 00:50:06.530
thought we never had to do. It was this ever

00:50:06.530 --> 00:50:09.630
again. Yeah. Oh, sure. Because it was that foreshadowing

00:50:09.630 --> 00:50:12.090
of World War Two. We never had to do. Yeah. Also,

00:50:12.150 --> 00:50:17.110
just the title means nothing. Time to kill. I

00:50:17.110 --> 00:50:19.050
mean, also, if you look for images for this movie,

00:50:19.130 --> 00:50:21.070
which I have to do because I do the poster art,

00:50:21.170 --> 00:50:23.949
everything is just like him looking insane with

00:50:23.949 --> 00:50:26.460
a gun. And I'm like, this is not that movie.

00:50:26.519 --> 00:50:29.460
Not at all what this movie is. No. The only connection

00:50:29.460 --> 00:50:32.679
to the title is the last, the closing monologue.

00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:34.199
It's like, we thought the killing time was over.

00:50:34.480 --> 00:50:37.320
Right. But this movie isn't about them like having

00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:43.360
to really deal with their atrocities. Like Nick

00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:45.679
Cage is on his own thing, but I would say that's

00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:48.159
still largely glossed over in terms of like the

00:50:48.159 --> 00:50:50.880
plot of this film. Yeah. So I would, okay, so.

00:50:51.949 --> 00:50:58.670
I think that this is very much a indie Euro sort

00:50:58.670 --> 00:51:03.869
of film thing because every individual scene

00:51:03.869 --> 00:51:08.170
after he gets back to camp from raping and killing

00:51:08.170 --> 00:51:12.429
this woman, every individual scene is about a

00:51:12.429 --> 00:51:17.210
moment where he could kill this person to cover

00:51:17.210 --> 00:51:21.639
up this thing, but doesn't. And so is that, is

00:51:21.639 --> 00:51:25.440
the person he's interacting with, Enrico is interacting

00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:31.199
with, worthy of killing? Is it a time to kill?

00:51:31.679 --> 00:51:34.179
Every single action. Not a time to kill. I know,

00:51:34.219 --> 00:51:37.320
but is it the time to kill? Just time to kill.

00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:40.119
Right. So, you know, when he's with the doctor,

00:51:40.179 --> 00:51:43.860
he shoots him, but. shoots at him ostensibly

00:51:43.860 --> 00:51:47.059
he purposely misses he could have killed johannes

00:51:47.059 --> 00:51:51.099
he could have killed um anyone the major he kind

00:51:51.099 --> 00:51:53.059
of made your die though because the major he

00:51:53.059 --> 00:51:55.579
may have made the major die but he didn't kill

00:51:55.579 --> 00:51:58.219
him i like i like this light of thought and i

00:51:58.219 --> 00:52:00.860
have another uh i have another take on it okay

00:52:00.860 --> 00:52:03.300
if he would have just not done anything and just

00:52:03.300 --> 00:52:06.500
killed time and let the days pass he would have

00:52:06.500 --> 00:52:10.179
been fine Or had he just gone and gotten the

00:52:10.179 --> 00:52:11.880
fricking stamp from the guardhouse, he would

00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:13.480
have been on the first boat and not the next

00:52:13.480 --> 00:52:18.480
boat. I do like how every description of this

00:52:18.480 --> 00:52:20.880
movie really kind of hammers on that whole like

00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:24.699
dental issue. Like the toothache. Yeah. Yeah.

00:52:24.780 --> 00:52:26.860
I mean, that's just like what gets him out of

00:52:26.860 --> 00:52:28.320
bed in the morning. Yeah. I mean, it was like

00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:29.519
the first thing in the entire movie. It's like

00:52:29.519 --> 00:52:32.440
my tooth fucking hurts. I'm going to go. Yeah.

00:52:32.460 --> 00:52:34.239
The toothache is just simply the thing that starts

00:52:34.239 --> 00:52:37.570
the chain of events. The inciting incident. The

00:52:37.570 --> 00:52:45.849
kill chain. Who are our Patreon supporters? So,

00:52:45.929 --> 00:52:48.650
thank you to our Patreon supporters. Our Sparkle

00:52:48.650 --> 00:52:50.789
Buddies, Josh, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam, Bill,

00:52:50.889 --> 00:52:54.250
and Stuart. And our Cage Dancers, Ira, John,

00:52:54.429 --> 00:52:57.489
Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. Thank you all for

00:52:57.489 --> 00:52:59.349
supporting us. Thank you all for listening to

00:52:59.349 --> 00:53:01.960
this and making it through this. Pretty rough

00:53:01.960 --> 00:53:04.980
film. Get ready for an even weirder one next

00:53:04.980 --> 00:53:08.119
week with basically no Nick Cage in it at all.

00:53:09.019 --> 00:53:11.639
And thank you to Bill Panks for our intro music.

00:53:11.860 --> 00:53:14.300
And thank you to Michael for being here and joining

00:53:14.300 --> 00:53:16.159
us for this. Hey, no worries. I'm going to now

00:53:16.159 --> 00:53:18.980
go give a chameleon a cigarette. Just because.

00:53:19.079 --> 00:53:21.400
Hey, man, have a smoke. And thanks to Buzz Balls

00:53:21.400 --> 00:53:27.000
for making one and a half liter balls. Repulsive.

00:53:27.460 --> 00:53:29.440
I mean, we're definitely feeling better now.

00:53:29.579 --> 00:53:31.619
That's true. That's true. It's doing fine for

00:53:31.619 --> 00:53:42.559
me. I'm so glad I'm in Portland. Bye bye. Bye

00:53:42.559 --> 00:53:49.460
bye. Are they expensive? They gotta be 30 bucks

00:53:49.460 --> 00:53:51.880
each. No, no. I mean, like after tax, it's like

00:53:51.880 --> 00:53:54.460
23 each. That's OK. More than I was expecting.

00:53:54.599 --> 00:53:56.519
Still be wrong. I would be like, here's your

00:53:56.519 --> 00:53:58.940
sixty nine dollars worth of buzz balls. It's

00:53:58.940 --> 00:54:02.039
like, God, my life sucks. What have I done? Yeah.

00:54:02.260 --> 00:54:06.880
Give me a bag. I don't need to be seen transporting

00:54:06.880 --> 00:54:09.320
my biggie ball. It looked like you were carrying

00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:11.519
a ball full of bowling balls when you came back

00:54:11.519 --> 00:54:13.360
full of bowling balls when you came in. Yeah.

00:54:13.539 --> 00:54:15.460
You know, I spent all my money on a really good

00:54:15.460 --> 00:54:17.679
bowling ball. I couldn't get the bag to go with

00:54:17.679 --> 00:54:21.059
it. Exactly. Just a plastic piece of shit. You

00:54:21.059 --> 00:54:22.699
know, just carry them right here. crotch and

00:54:22.699 --> 00:54:25.960
if anyone asks say you have elephantitis biggie

00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:32.739
balls oh before we get started i just want to

00:54:32.739 --> 00:54:37.420
share uh the nicholas cage drag show was a delight

00:54:37.420 --> 00:54:41.059
um it went through the whole oeuvre of his work

00:54:41.059 --> 00:54:43.619
starting with moonstruck and a very suggestive

00:54:43.619 --> 00:54:47.559
use of a baguette but to unbearable weight of

00:54:47.559 --> 00:54:50.739
massive talent the performer did do a whole thing

00:54:50.739 --> 00:54:54.349
to the uh the Boston cop monologue from the beginning.

00:54:54.389 --> 00:54:57.210
And it was spectacular. That is pretty good.

00:54:57.650 --> 00:55:06.590
Did they cover time to kill? No. No, uh, but

00:55:06.590 --> 00:55:11.090
they did do a ghostwriter. Uh, there was an awesome,

00:55:11.130 --> 00:55:13.869
uh, big daddy from kick -ass, which was a standout.

00:55:14.309 --> 00:55:19.070
And then of course, uh, my favorite one was face

00:55:19.070 --> 00:55:23.340
off. Um, which all I will say is the Travolta

00:55:23.340 --> 00:55:25.480
box will haunt me the rest of my living days.

00:55:26.280 --> 00:55:28.199
I think I've decided officially that I don't

00:55:28.199 --> 00:55:30.719
want to know what that means ever. Yeah, I'm

00:55:30.719 --> 00:55:34.000
fair glazing over that one. Yeah. I'm just going

00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:35.400
to let your minds run rampant with it.