WEBVTT

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Oh God. Oh my God. Hello and welcome back to

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Cage Match, colon, a roundabout way of meeting

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Nicolas Cage. I am your producer, Peter. Without

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my... co -hosts Sean and Nick. This is part two

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of our D &D -ish Nick Cage universe tabletop

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RPG that we played. We are joined by our special

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friends and guests, Alec Wilson and Daryl Edge,

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who are playing some of the Nick Cages in this.

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If you haven't listened to part one, I highly

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recommend going back and starting there. This

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is the conclusive half, and it's pretty stupid,

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and I'm sure you can make it through if you didn't

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know anything, but definitely go check it out.

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If not, I'm going to give you a little quick

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recap right now. We see a glittering city of

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emerald. and four pulses of light leap out from

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the topmost spire, flashing like lightning in

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a near dark. Inside of those four beams, we see

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the symbols of vampire teeth, legs pantyhose,

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a fuzzy bunny, and a truffle. Oh, Christ, where

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am I? Where am I? Oh, Christ. I'm not dead. I'm

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a vampire. This big tuna fuck you sign, is it

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pointing towards a structure of any kind? Yeah,

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so Big Tuna, from what you can see in the distance,

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looks like any off -the -highway kind of small

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town. I'll start with the microwave. I'll kick

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open the side door and try to throw the microwave

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to deter this motorcyclist from hell. I'm going

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to walk to the door and then just, covered in

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blood, just look out that this bike is going

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past. Are you a vampire? He says, if it weren't

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for that weird dirty one, I wouldn't have said

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nothing to you. But ain't supposed to be no cages

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out here. What's a cage? You see a really nice

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big ass car kind of roll slowly up to you. and

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it's uh driven by one man and in the passenger

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seat is another man with little tiny disgusting

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teeth and a pencil mustache named bobby peru

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and he turns and says how y 'all doing all right

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so you all are in big tuna with bobby's peru

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and uh they bring you to this table kind of in

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the middle it's just open you can see people

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around they're making hot pornos everywhere a

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lot of big ladies you know it is what it is it's

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texas style And out of a couple other motel rooms

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comes six more Bobby Perus. And they all sit

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at the table with the four of you. Now, hi, this

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whole time, you've got a Bobby Peru basically

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in your ear just talking about all the treasures

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and successes that are in that vault. Everything

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you could ever dream of. All you got to do is

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this one score, son. Yeah, actually, Rob, the

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post office is open. It's staffed by just one

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person. I mean. is it a bobby peru it is not

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a bobby peru it's just a schmuck from okay from

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big tuna universe okay i've heard this before

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what exactly is a cage well i don't know how

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to describe it other than one of you uh you look

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different a lot of the time sometimes skinnier

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sometimes teeth different sometimes hair different

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uh different accents a lot of boston a lot of

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boston um but yeah i see a lot of you but not

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for a long time. So you do find a letter. It's

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this kind of gilded letter. And in this particular

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one, it says, Mr. Furpo, you are welcomed back

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to the Emerald City. You are expected here tomorrow.

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And if you are not present, we will come find

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you. Can I? Possible that I can somehow convince

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them that we are to be trusted and that I can

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be their leader. I'm going to have you roll for

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that. It's about time. I will tell you, I rolled

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four successes. You need to go fuck yourself,

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other people. Roll hot, Daryl. You have convinced

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the majority of the Bobbies Peru. uh there are

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some that still are maybe not trustworthy in

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this situation but in theory you have we'll say

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five bobby's peru that are kind of like that's

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our dude seems like a proper cage cage out moment

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this could be a cage out moment if you wanted

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to oh god i could you know what i'm gonna cage

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out fuck yeah roll them dice roll them bones

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all right Eight dice. I swear to God if they

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all fail I'm killing myself. I'm going the way

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of the pros here. Alright. Six of the eight are

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successes. Fuck yes. And then with my own Peter

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Lowe hand I end and just put like a gun symbol

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of my hand into my mouth and say I think all

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these Bobby Peru should Bobby do and die themselves.

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Bang, bang. And it's a cascade of Bobby Peru

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heads just pop, pop, pop, pop. And seven Bobby

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Peru heads land in the dirt, all of them wearing

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legs pantyhose. Spine still attached. Yeah, exactly.

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So. You have escaped my Bobby Peru puzzle. Did

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they leave a car behind? Oh yeah, there's the

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nice big car that you guys rode in off the highway.

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Yeah, we should definitely jump in that and start

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heading for the Emerald City. Yeah. I'm already

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in the trunk. I'll just be laying down in the

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back. Dramatically closing the trunk on yourself.

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All right, so let's get back to it. So you guys

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are on the road to the Emerald City. You're on

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this golden or this yellow highway. And what's

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your approach? Are you just going fucking balls

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to the wall straight to the front gate? Or what

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do you want to do? Do you want to just jump this

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bitch? Is there a ramp that'll take us over the

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wall? No. If you all want to die, yeah, absolutely.

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That's where the episode ends. We just explode.

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Just crashing into the wall. It wasn't much of

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a ramp. Just a slight hillock. Yeah, no. Front

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door. This is where the answers are. Yeah. Presumably.

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Unless I'm full of shit. You have lied to me

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in the past. I've also been predominantly Bobby

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Peru's so far. So fair enough. Yeah. But OK.

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Yeah. So, yeah, you drive right up to the front

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gate. Yeah. And what you see there is what I

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can only describe as a monstrosity barring the

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way it is. Let's see. It's as if a giant Ron

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Perlman head was on a tiny waiter's body, but

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also holding a broadsword. The Alpha Bobo. Exactly,

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the Alpha Bobo. It's Bobos on Bobos all day long.

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But holding a giant broadsword, sort of like

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a Cloud Strife Buster Sword style fuck -you -up

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broadsword, and wearing a Crusader helmet as

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well. Looks like a very metal toad helmet. Yes.

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I get all these references. It's almost like

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you've watched Nick Cage movies. Almost exclusively.

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So this Bobo homunculus just says halt. Stop.

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Yeah. None shall pass. And it's sort of eating

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pistachios. well sir but just gross like eating

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the whole shell and everything too okay now we

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got a meeting inside of this here wall with the

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wizard would you kindly open up we got a message

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The Bobo seems pretty confused. The Bobo also

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does not seem particularly smart. All cages have

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been removed. Well, now that's fine. Because

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I'm not a cage. And I do not wish to be in a

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cage. I just kind of... Ah, fuck it, I punch

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him in the face. Can I just get in? Yeah, dude.

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Great. So you get the element of surprise, but

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you're doing something that's hard because Bobo

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is like a gigantic fucking freak. So we'll do

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a two. Okay. I'm going to use my incredible athleticism.

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I'm adding some bonus dice for myself because

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Bobo is big. Okay. And yeah, use your athleticism.

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Wait, how many dice are you rolling? Well, I've

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got two dice currently. One for punching. One

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for sweet athleticism. And you just start with

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one, too. And you start with one, yeah. Yeah.

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Well, sure, yeah. Right, so two for that. Yeah,

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okay. Oh, you know what? Yeah, do it. When I

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get out of the car, I'm just going to pull up

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and sort of swing my head back and let the breeze

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just catch me. So I'll catch the breeze here.

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And it's so fucking beautiful. Your hair just

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whips in the wind. You get a little twinkle in

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your eye. And as he's caught off guard with that,

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then I lay in with a roundhouse kick from my

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cowboy boot. Do it. Roll them. Two successes.

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I had three successes. Son of a bitch. Now, this

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is a chance. We haven't played with this yet.

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You all, the other three of you, can grant a

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re -roll if you feel like that was particularly

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playing to Cage. Oh, the hair in the wind was

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absolutely Cage. Yeah. But you only get one of

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these each, so you have to be discerning about

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using it. I will use this opportunity to grant

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a re -roll. Definitely. Re -roll that shit and

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see if you get better. Oh my god. To get three

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of three? That's a lot of pressure. I rolled

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really well. I still only have two successes.

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Ah, okay. So you have this beautiful, beautiful

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roundhouse kick that goes straight into this

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Bobo's face, but their tiny little waiter arm

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comes up and grabs it real quick and kind of

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flings it away. Not my first cage. Then it seems

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we are at an impasse. I'll hop out. Well, now,

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now, Bella. What would it take for us to get

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through this gate here? My instructions are,

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nobody enters. Ah, but what if I were to offer

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you this fine piece of literature to take out

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of Juggs Magazine? Uh, the gross waiter version

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of Bobo is kind of like, hmm. But Ron Perlman

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is above that kind of chicanery. It's more where

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that came from. I take out another one. Just

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jugs on jugs on jugs on jugs. Until he says yes.

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Okay, yeah. This is going to be a tough one.

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Roll me three. Okay. So for the roll, I've got

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my smooth talking. You got jugs. And you're using

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jugs. And your regular roll. So you got three.

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If you can get anything else, if a driver skill,

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otherwise, oh, smooth talking already did. Yeah,

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I did smooth talking. I think that's probably

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all that I have that applies to this situation.

00:13:42.129 --> 00:13:49.500
Okay, let's see. Wow. that no none zero that

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was that was terrible so uh the bobo arms the

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the waiter arms sort of grab a bunch of jugs

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but then the ron perlman brain takes over and

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crunches them up in its mouth with a bunch of

00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:07.039
pistachios at the same time and just says iago

00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:11.120
there's a lot i don't like about that oh dear

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Rob's gonna, like, get out of the car and approach

00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:25.519
this thing. You said, so your instructions are

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to not let anyone in. Correct. And all the cages

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have been removed? Removed. Stands to reason,

00:14:37.299 --> 00:14:41.360
if all the cages are removed, and we are cages,

00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:46.799
we cannot be here. And are no one, so you can

00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:52.559
just let us go by. You can see this massive brain

00:14:52.559 --> 00:14:58.740
calculating that fucking mindfuck. Logic trap!

00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:05.480
Yeah. Okay. A three roll for you as well, Rob.

00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:12.259
Alright. Why do I only roll well when I'm a GM?

00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:17.659
The power's gone to your head. I'm trying to

00:15:17.659 --> 00:15:22.960
think what I can use here. I think I can only

00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:27.679
get one on this with... This is getting kind

00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:30.779
of heady. This is being true to myself and asking

00:15:30.779 --> 00:15:36.860
him to ponder the makings of reality. Yep. All

00:15:36.860 --> 00:15:43.659
right. That's one success. I had two successes.

00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.500
so unfortunately you do not penetrate the big

00:15:49.500 --> 00:15:54.539
bobo's brain um they sort of resettle their sword

00:15:54.539 --> 00:15:59.740
into the ground and just square up are so uh

00:15:59.740 --> 00:16:03.879
the walls of the city are like quite quite high

00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:08.799
um they seem pretty sheer uh i mean you could

00:16:10.429 --> 00:16:12.830
arguably try and figure out a way to do something

00:16:12.830 --> 00:16:15.330
with those walls and avoid this, but it seems

00:16:15.330 --> 00:16:19.070
very difficult. Well, you gave it a try, I gave

00:16:19.070 --> 00:16:21.730
it a try, you gave it a try, I popped the trunk.

00:16:24.590 --> 00:16:29.850
Only one of you can fly. I just rise from my

00:16:29.850 --> 00:16:38.629
hails. You rang. Peter, we need to get through

00:16:38.629 --> 00:16:44.629
this gate. Well, I'm all out of Peru, but I guess

00:16:44.629 --> 00:16:47.610
I could give it a try. I was going to drag my

00:16:47.610 --> 00:16:50.610
piece of pallet, my blood around my face and

00:16:50.610 --> 00:16:56.509
go to the Bobos. I'm a vampire. And I'm going

00:16:56.509 --> 00:16:58.990
to show him the Heatherton contract. But you

00:16:58.990 --> 00:17:02.570
know what this is? I've been looking for this

00:17:02.570 --> 00:17:09.519
contract since 1963. And I'm a vampire. So I

00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:12.619
think you're going to let me in or I'm going

00:17:12.619 --> 00:17:18.880
to turn into a bat and shit on you. So this part

00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:22.640
of Bobo is activated by this because Bobo fucking

00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:26.779
hates vampires and devils and possession. And

00:17:26.779 --> 00:17:30.420
that sword is up and coming down right at you,

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:34.099
Peter. Oh no. You're going to roll three to try

00:17:34.099 --> 00:17:37.400
and not take grievous damage. Oh, I just got

00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:41.500
healed as well. All that Bobby Peru blood for

00:17:41.500 --> 00:17:46.119
nothing. I know that sweet Peru blood. If I'm

00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:51.960
seeing that sword come up, I really can't let

00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:54.099
him just take it. I need to get in there and

00:17:54.099 --> 00:17:56.279
like try to block it as well. Yep, that's fair.

00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:59.579
So let's let's see what Daryl rolls and then

00:17:59.579 --> 00:18:02.660
we'll add you to the mix. Yeah, I just want to

00:18:02.660 --> 00:18:07.529
help Daryl here. Yeah. All right. So let me give

00:18:07.529 --> 00:18:10.109
Daryl a die in assistance. Sure, sure. Yeah,

00:18:10.150 --> 00:18:13.569
here, roll one additional one. Okay, so I've

00:18:13.569 --> 00:18:17.109
rolled three. I'm rolling an additional three

00:18:17.109 --> 00:18:20.349
successes. Oh, yeah, you fucking do it. I don't

00:18:20.349 --> 00:18:23.309
know how. So describe this. This buster sword

00:18:23.309 --> 00:18:26.750
is coming down directly toward you. It's massive.

00:18:26.809 --> 00:18:28.990
I mean, it's the size of your fucking body. How

00:18:28.990 --> 00:18:35.819
does Peter Lowe not get cleaved in twain? I just,

00:18:35.859 --> 00:18:38.559
like, drop to the ground and, like, scurry towards

00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:43.660
its legs. I just, like, fling the pallet at its

00:18:43.660 --> 00:18:52.880
shins. You do one trivial harm. Yes! And I just

00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:55.500
start, like, hissing and, like, gnawing at the

00:18:55.500 --> 00:19:00.059
ankle. Fuck yes. Okay. So, yeah, you're now worrying

00:19:00.059 --> 00:19:04.000
the ankle of the bobos. Who wants to go next?

00:19:06.180 --> 00:19:09.259
uh you know i'll take another swing at him yeah

00:19:09.259 --> 00:19:11.880
man while he's down there and distracted i'll

00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:14.559
um because he's distracted it's just gonna be

00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:22.000
a two okay that's perfect um yeah and then haha

00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:27.220
two sixes damn dog nerd so what do you do uh

00:19:27.220 --> 00:19:29.839
this is just a straight up punch between the

00:19:29.839 --> 00:19:34.730
eyes trying to just knock him out So he does

00:19:34.730 --> 00:19:36.849
have that little like helmet cross guard thing.

00:19:36.970 --> 00:19:39.730
So you don't knock him out, but you do definitely

00:19:39.730 --> 00:19:42.869
like bloody his nose a little bit, which Bobo

00:19:42.869 --> 00:19:48.650
is not used to. Yeah. And Bobo is mad. I'm going

00:19:48.650 --> 00:19:50.650
to try and sneak around behind them and see if

00:19:50.650 --> 00:19:53.190
we can like open up this gate or if we need a

00:19:53.190 --> 00:19:55.789
key or something. Yeah. OK, that's that's cool.

00:19:55.970 --> 00:19:58.190
You got to get past Bobo. So what are you going

00:19:58.190 --> 00:20:05.230
to do? I was going to say, if I could help with

00:20:05.230 --> 00:20:08.690
providing some distraction, I was just going

00:20:08.690 --> 00:20:11.250
to, like, rock straight up to this thing and,

00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:16.809
like, present my face for punching. Because one

00:20:16.809 --> 00:20:19.970
of my skills as Rob, as Robbenfeld, is take a

00:20:19.970 --> 00:20:24.269
punch. Okay, that's beautiful. Thank you. So,

00:20:24.329 --> 00:20:27.180
yeah, you go up there and, like... non -aggressively

00:20:27.180 --> 00:20:29.180
are just standing there, correct? It's so good.

00:20:29.380 --> 00:20:32.859
Yeah. And Bobo is just fucking beating on you.

00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:36.660
And what would punch and hurt most of you all

00:20:36.660 --> 00:20:40.380
to a, you know, bloodied, you're in danger mode,

00:20:40.539 --> 00:20:42.980
you're basically just like kind of fucked up,

00:20:43.019 --> 00:20:46.779
a little bit bloody, bruised, like nothing major.

00:20:47.099 --> 00:20:50.279
How much does he punch with? Like if we were

00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:55.809
doing die? Uh, what do you mean? Just trying

00:20:55.809 --> 00:20:58.630
to get more cage die for later. Oh, sure. Yeah,

00:20:58.670 --> 00:21:04.190
here. I don't know. Take three extra die, but

00:21:04.190 --> 00:21:08.890
you do take one level of damage. All right. Can

00:21:08.890 --> 00:21:11.789
I roll to try and lessen that using my take a

00:21:11.789 --> 00:21:15.089
punch? Sure. Fuck it. Yeah. Do three die against

00:21:15.089 --> 00:21:20.170
that. All right. One success. Yeah. All right.

00:21:20.190 --> 00:21:23.730
So that you're, I mean, cosmetically a little

00:21:23.730 --> 00:21:28.619
bit like. Oh, yeah. Is that enough? That's Rob's

00:21:28.619 --> 00:21:30.880
whole shit. He looks rough, but he's usually

00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:33.759
all right. Yeah. Is that enough of a distraction

00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:35.680
so I can sneak around to take a look at the gate?

00:21:35.819 --> 00:21:38.099
Yeah. Yeah, I think that you have enough. There

00:21:38.099 --> 00:21:42.140
is a massive, massive lever that activates that

00:21:42.140 --> 00:21:47.640
gate. Jump up and try and pull down. You can

00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:51.940
try, but your weight is not enough. This takes

00:21:51.940 --> 00:21:57.319
the strength of at least two bobos. How much

00:21:57.319 --> 00:22:00.640
is four cages an equivalent to one Bobo? Well,

00:22:00.660 --> 00:22:03.460
it depends which Bobo, I suppose. This one's

00:22:03.460 --> 00:22:05.980
got little waiter arms. Yeah, these are waiter

00:22:05.980 --> 00:22:11.079
arms, but that Bobo from Moonstruck, secret strength.

00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.539
Inner strength. Yeah, inner strength, exactly.

00:22:15.900 --> 00:22:20.039
You understand. Can either of you help me out

00:22:20.039 --> 00:22:22.259
with this, or are you still busy dealing with

00:22:22.259 --> 00:22:25.210
Bobo? I'm gnawing on an ankle right now. Right.

00:22:25.329 --> 00:22:30.569
Yeah. Jabbing it with my like Cameron's got a

00:22:30.569 --> 00:22:33.869
Cameron pose. He's done what he needs to do.

00:22:34.009 --> 00:22:38.269
Yeah, I'll just flip Bobo's helmet around backwards

00:22:38.269 --> 00:22:41.589
and run over and just give him a hand on that.

00:22:41.809 --> 00:22:46.710
OK, I'm going to do I'm rolling for. So that's

00:22:46.710 --> 00:22:49.910
a three challenge for you because that's that's

00:22:49.910 --> 00:22:56.039
a tough move. But. You've got skills. So roll

00:22:56.039 --> 00:23:07.380
fucking well. You've got to roll against the

00:23:07.380 --> 00:23:10.480
DM who has not rolled poorly all night. Yeah,

00:23:10.539 --> 00:23:14.640
yeah. How do I make this better? I don't. Okay.

00:23:14.900 --> 00:23:23.000
Here it goes. I have a success. all right so

00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:25.400
you you attempt to swing on this helmet to sort

00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:28.519
of like pull it around but i don't know it's

00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:30.140
fastened in some way i don't know how helmets

00:23:30.140 --> 00:23:34.160
work don't ask me these things yeah you didn't

00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:36.099
fight in the crusades that's fair yeah i didn't

00:23:36.099 --> 00:23:37.640
fight in the crusades i didn't prepare for this

00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:42.259
antic uh it did not succeed and you actually

00:23:42.259 --> 00:23:44.559
now are kind of like dangling off the side of

00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:47.519
bobo because your arm is sort of caught oh god

00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:53.230
damn it uh I'm going to try and distract Bobo

00:23:53.230 --> 00:23:56.890
to see if I can get him to take a swing at me

00:23:56.890 --> 00:24:03.509
that might hit the lever. I like it. I don't

00:24:03.509 --> 00:24:06.250
know how with Peter gnawing on his ankle over

00:24:06.250 --> 00:24:10.869
there, but... So paint me the word picture here,

00:24:10.950 --> 00:24:14.049
Alec. What does High do to do this distraction?

00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:17.940
Start waving there. I was going, hey, you! Wearing

00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:23.140
the helmet up there! Over here! Over here! Jesus

00:24:23.140 --> 00:24:26.400
Christ. Alright. This is still going to be a

00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:31.700
three roll. Okay. What do I have that might help

00:24:31.700 --> 00:24:38.420
with this? Nothing. Nothing at all. This is just

00:24:38.420 --> 00:24:40.940
a single dice, I think. I'll tell you what, I

00:24:40.940 --> 00:24:43.000
only rolled one success. So if you roll against

00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:45.039
it, it'll be a push. And you'll at least get

00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:51.220
his attention. Nope, that's a three. So instead

00:24:51.220 --> 00:24:54.259
of that, the Bobo actually takes a big step back

00:24:54.259 --> 00:24:58.440
in your direction, but doesn't turn around. You

00:24:58.440 --> 00:25:01.339
are closer to being sort of squished, though.

00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:07.279
Okay. Is the Bobo wearing any chest armor or

00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:09.279
anything? Or is it just a helmet? The Bobo's

00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:13.460
wearing a nice suit. Suit, you say? Is there

00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:16.900
a necktie? absolutely oh sorry bowtie this is

00:25:16.900 --> 00:25:21.000
a service okay i'm gonna like stop gnawing the

00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.720
ankle for a second and just look i would say

00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.960
who did your tailoring i said i suit you have

00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:34.859
there what what is your goal i think we're just

00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:36.859
trying to play a distraction here because the

00:25:36.859 --> 00:25:38.740
fact we haven't all been kicked over the wall

00:25:38.740 --> 00:25:43.519
yet is incredible to me it's true uh yeah that's

00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:47.400
fair okay so you're doing some sort of annoyance

00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:53.180
just a two roll for that roll to be annoying

00:25:53.180 --> 00:26:00.720
yeah it worked it was a zero roll uh six and

00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:05.019
a five okay you do annoy and distract the bobo

00:26:05.019 --> 00:26:08.220
who says you gotta have nice pairs of pants and

00:26:08.220 --> 00:26:15.529
suits yeah if he's distracted i'd like to get

00:26:15.529 --> 00:26:18.789
myself free and like just maybe jump off of the

00:26:18.789 --> 00:26:23.230
bobo yeah like onto the lever yep okay uh so

00:26:23.230 --> 00:26:25.170
that's just like a sick acrobatic move so let's

00:26:25.170 --> 00:26:28.430
call it a it's gonna be a challenge three because

00:26:28.430 --> 00:26:31.329
you're you're doing a lot of stuff to get free

00:26:31.329 --> 00:26:35.710
and also leap and also land and grab um but i

00:26:35.710 --> 00:26:38.630
think you can do that yeah i have sick athletic

00:26:38.630 --> 00:26:43.720
athletic skills My skills are just next level

00:26:43.720 --> 00:26:48.539
athleticism and always catching the breeze. It's

00:26:48.539 --> 00:26:52.420
just what I'm good at. Your hair's got flow.

00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:55.279
Yeah, just a little flow. Yeah, I'll give it

00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:57.539
to you. You got away from an explosion. What

00:26:57.539 --> 00:27:03.019
do you want? Two successes. Okay. Yeah, that

00:27:03.019 --> 00:27:05.319
does work. So you have leapt onto this lever

00:27:05.319 --> 00:27:08.940
too. And it is still not quite enough, even though

00:27:08.940 --> 00:27:11.779
you are a brick shithouse. You have not pulled

00:27:11.779 --> 00:27:14.900
this lever down with high. I'm still close enough

00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:16.960
to like be hanging on it and nothing. Yeah. Yeah.

00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:19.279
I mean, you were you were hollering at him from

00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.079
there. But yeah. So the Bobo at this point is

00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:25.039
going to do kind of a spin move to just sort

00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:31.180
of like knock Peter off and arguably sort of

00:27:31.180 --> 00:27:35.000
fuck up Rob at the same time. So each of you

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:38.440
roll three dice and you can try and protect yourself

00:27:38.440 --> 00:27:44.609
in a. way that might make sense. Take a punch.

00:27:45.269 --> 00:27:50.710
Yep. That's one success. Right. Rolling three.

00:27:52.829 --> 00:27:57.670
Three fives. Damn, dog. All right. He is a vampire.

00:27:58.670 --> 00:28:02.309
So, Peter, you're like, not only have you sort

00:28:02.309 --> 00:28:05.549
of like gnawed his leg, you now have scurried

00:28:05.549 --> 00:28:07.490
up his body a little bit and you are latched

00:28:07.490 --> 00:28:12.319
on pretty well. Rob, roll me one dice just to

00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:14.539
see if you get a success for less being fucked

00:28:14.539 --> 00:28:19.720
up. That's a four. Okay. So you end up getting

00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:21.859
launched away and thrown into the front of the

00:28:21.859 --> 00:28:24.940
car. You kind of dent the hood, but you're not

00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:28.220
hurt more. You're just not immediately in the

00:28:28.220 --> 00:28:32.440
fray. If I'm clung on to this Bobo, can I try

00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:36.779
and drive my pallet through its heart? Yeah,

00:28:36.819 --> 00:28:43.460
dude. then that's what i want to do yep um again

00:28:43.460 --> 00:28:46.900
we're gonna do a three on that because this it's

00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:51.259
a big fucking big fucking bobo you son of a bobo

00:28:51.259 --> 00:28:58.460
so you're rolling just two two dice uh i guess

00:28:58.460 --> 00:29:02.119
i am yeah What if I told you that he was wearing

00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:05.980
the insignia of a bat? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:12.240
Be a little bit horny. My erection gives me the

00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:16.160
strength of gods. It wasn't the palate that penetrated

00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:21.200
his heart. And his hog grew three sizes that

00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:28.259
day. Oh, God, please. A five and a two. Okay.

00:29:30.410 --> 00:29:34.910
I got a five and a six. That's classic you, isn't

00:29:34.910 --> 00:29:40.170
it, tonight? So you do manage to stab Bobo in

00:29:40.170 --> 00:29:42.650
the heart, but you don't have enough force to

00:29:42.650 --> 00:29:45.269
really drive that stake in enough to create grievous

00:29:45.269 --> 00:29:49.130
injury or to take this fucker down. And now you

00:29:49.130 --> 00:29:53.019
are kind of hanging on. the stake that is in

00:29:53.019 --> 00:29:57.519
Bobo. And Bobo is starting to turn around to

00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:00.619
get to the two cages on the lever. Is it possible

00:30:00.619 --> 00:30:04.160
to try and reach out and grab Peter as he's spinning

00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:08.559
to add more weight to the lever? Fuck yes, absolutely.

00:30:11.420 --> 00:30:16.059
We'll do that as a two. Yeah, nothing's going

00:30:16.059 --> 00:30:20.039
to help me with that. Reach out. I don't wait.

00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:24.720
If I could propose an idea. Oh, yeah. Fucking

00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:27.980
high. That does get spun around quite a bit.

00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:30.579
He's been spun around in a fight. He would know

00:30:30.579 --> 00:30:32.079
this in triple force. He would know where to

00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:36.279
grab. That's true. I'm not against it. All right.

00:30:38.680 --> 00:30:43.259
That's two fives. Hey, OK, so you have extracted

00:30:43.259 --> 00:30:46.559
Peter Lowe. You are now all hanging from this

00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:50.349
lever and Bobo has this steak. in their heart

00:30:50.349 --> 00:30:55.750
zone uh well while the spinning was happening

00:30:55.750 --> 00:30:59.390
uh rob would have like got set up and like oh

00:30:59.390 --> 00:31:03.009
just look back at the car and just like he's

00:31:03.009 --> 00:31:05.509
gonna get in and just try and ram it into bobo

00:31:05.509 --> 00:31:09.289
as soon as uh peter is out of the way fuck yeah

00:31:09.289 --> 00:31:12.470
um the challenge rating on this one is just a

00:31:12.470 --> 00:31:20.619
one i am cutting through the bullshit And I'm

00:31:20.619 --> 00:31:22.440
assuming this is going to hurt me as well because

00:31:22.440 --> 00:31:24.200
this is an older car. I'm assuming it doesn't

00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:33.480
have airbags. So I'm just going to like muscle

00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:39.420
through what's about to hurt real bad. Yep. That

00:31:39.420 --> 00:31:46.240
is one success. Okay. So you drive the car directly

00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:50.809
into Bobo. But. You didn't have time to buckle

00:31:50.809 --> 00:31:53.750
your seatbelt and you go straight through that

00:31:53.750 --> 00:32:00.890
fucking windshield. But the beautiful thing about

00:32:00.890 --> 00:32:03.789
this is that as you're tumbling through the air,

00:32:03.849 --> 00:32:09.289
Rob, you take out your frying pan and it collides

00:32:09.289 --> 00:32:12.890
with that pallet piece at exactly the right point

00:32:12.890 --> 00:32:19.059
and force. driving that piece directly into this

00:32:19.059 --> 00:32:25.460
Bobo's heart and it crashes over barfs up some

00:32:25.460 --> 00:32:29.940
pistachios and dies that just happened in a Zack

00:32:29.940 --> 00:32:33.079
Snyder slow -mo shot in my head and it was beautiful

00:32:33.079 --> 00:32:36.960
thank you so long as there isn't any of that

00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:41.599
like Wonder Woman like Athenian music going on

00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:48.400
in a slow motion Okay, so you have dispatched

00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:51.700
Bobo. Good work. You all get 10 experience points

00:32:51.700 --> 00:32:58.299
and level up. Yay. No, but you have done this.

00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:01.900
Rob, you see these three guys kind of all hanging

00:33:01.900 --> 00:33:04.759
on this lever and it is still not quite going

00:33:04.759 --> 00:33:07.900
anywhere. I'm just going to like walk up, grab

00:33:07.900 --> 00:33:11.920
like the lowest dangling feet, just tug. And

00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:17.009
the gate swings open. And you have access to

00:33:17.009 --> 00:33:21.750
this Emerald City. I guess we head on inside.

00:33:22.250 --> 00:33:26.970
Yeah. I imagine the car's in no state to drive.

00:33:26.990 --> 00:33:29.069
I don't know if the car's going anywhere. The

00:33:29.069 --> 00:33:34.130
car's absolutely fucked. It got robo'd. I mean,

00:33:34.190 --> 00:33:36.150
there's a palace. I say we head towards the palace.

00:33:36.329 --> 00:33:40.319
Yeah. Yeah, so as you're walking through here...

00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.220
I imagine it's on this yellow brick road. It

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:46.500
sure as shit is. And what's a little troubling

00:33:46.500 --> 00:33:49.359
about this area is that there's fucking no one

00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:52.960
here. It is a ghost town. And you can see where

00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:55.839
there was a teeming life here at some point,

00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:00.099
but there's just nothing. Is there any signs

00:34:00.099 --> 00:34:06.930
that there was some life recently around? I mean,

00:34:06.950 --> 00:34:08.849
you could say that probably up till about three

00:34:08.849 --> 00:34:14.130
or so months ago. Are there any convenience stores

00:34:14.130 --> 00:34:19.150
that we walk by? Sure. Yeah, there's there's

00:34:19.150 --> 00:34:23.110
kind of like a local whatever, you know, stupid

00:34:23.110 --> 00:34:26.489
Emerald City bodega would be. I absolutely go

00:34:26.489 --> 00:34:29.070
into that bodega and clean out the register.

00:34:29.230 --> 00:34:33.639
Anything else that might look useful? yeah what's

00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:35.340
weird is that unfulfilled that there's no one

00:34:35.340 --> 00:34:37.940
there to actually rob yeah it feels like an empty

00:34:37.940 --> 00:34:41.519
victory yeah there's nothing too special about

00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:43.440
this i mean you can see some like old hot dogs

00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:45.440
on rollers that have just kind of like gone to

00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:47.760
shit over the months are they still rolling off

00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:50.440
room to people yeah good okay so you've got a

00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:55.019
bunch of pocket like horrible dogs pocket charcoal

00:34:55.019 --> 00:34:59.119
all the cash in the register has your faces on

00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:05.119
it um but like not quite your face uh i'm gonna

00:35:05.119 --> 00:35:07.840
call that cage cash cage cash yeah cage bucks

00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:12.940
um so yeah i mean anything else you want to explore

00:35:12.940 --> 00:35:15.199
in this zone before you guys head all the way

00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:21.079
to the sort of palace is there like a a newspaper

00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:26.829
box i mean you know, Emerald city seven 11 that

00:35:26.829 --> 00:35:28.750
you guys just robbed definitely had a newspaper

00:35:28.750 --> 00:35:32.210
stand. So sure. I'll grab a paper and just kind

00:35:32.210 --> 00:35:34.789
of look at the headline. What was the last date

00:35:34.789 --> 00:35:37.590
on it? The date. Yeah. Uh, many, many months

00:35:37.590 --> 00:35:41.730
ago. Um, many months ago in reference to what?

00:35:44.389 --> 00:35:47.349
We're all from different time periods too. Like

00:35:47.349 --> 00:35:50.489
what is the, what is the Emerald city calendar?

00:35:50.590 --> 00:36:07.670
It says may. Fuck you. Fair. The only thing of

00:36:07.670 --> 00:36:10.510
note on it is the headline is parade cancelled.

00:36:11.750 --> 00:36:18.650
City shutting down. What kind of parade? I mean,

00:36:18.670 --> 00:36:20.989
it was going to be a good one. What color were

00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:24.099
the balloons? Well, I mean, I think there was

00:36:24.099 --> 00:36:28.000
like a Garfield balloon with Nicolas Cage's face

00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:33.139
on it. Oh, yeah, right. Was there like a church

00:36:33.139 --> 00:36:35.900
around at all or anything like religious in this

00:36:35.900 --> 00:36:42.840
town center? OK, realistically, no, there would

00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:46.159
not be anything religious in this space. God

00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:53.869
has abandoned this town. the dead walk here this

00:36:53.869 --> 00:37:01.369
is the torture of the damned i feel the crazy

00:37:01.369 --> 00:37:05.789
one might have struck right it doesn't seem like

00:37:05.789 --> 00:37:09.650
we're gonna find many people to answer our questions

00:37:09.650 --> 00:37:13.150
here now to really throw you all off there's

00:37:13.150 --> 00:37:14.949
also just weird piles of clothing everywhere

00:37:14.949 --> 00:37:18.269
as if people were raptured but it's just it's

00:37:18.269 --> 00:37:22.730
nudist don't worry It's all little kids' clothes.

00:37:23.530 --> 00:37:28.389
It's not nudists. Walking it back real quick.

00:37:29.690 --> 00:37:33.670
The kids took their clothes. They're fine. I

00:37:33.670 --> 00:37:35.469
saw that movie. Only the children got raptured.

00:37:35.590 --> 00:37:40.130
That's true. It's true. God's a perv. I mean,

00:37:40.130 --> 00:37:41.929
if the Catholic Church is anything to go by.

00:37:43.110 --> 00:37:46.269
Fair enough. That masculine does weird stuff.

00:37:46.489 --> 00:37:53.519
Wow. all right i'll just drop that newspaper

00:37:53.519 --> 00:38:01.400
and sort of kind of take us up to the castle

00:38:01.400 --> 00:38:04.559
yeah i mean it's sort of a palace palace situation

00:38:04.559 --> 00:38:08.059
yeah i mean it's got a bunch of towering spires

00:38:08.059 --> 00:38:10.820
not a bunch it's a couple but um you know it's

00:38:10.820 --> 00:38:13.159
it's the main structure here other than this

00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:17.639
now ghost town so the town consists of a convenience

00:38:17.639 --> 00:38:22.900
store a palace And no churches. Yeah. And also

00:38:22.900 --> 00:38:24.699
some places that people lived at some point,

00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:29.820
but... Gross. You got the measure of it, though.

00:38:32.059 --> 00:38:37.179
All right. Well, boys, I think the only answers

00:38:37.179 --> 00:38:40.599
we're going to find are lying right ahead of

00:38:40.599 --> 00:38:49.219
us. I pull out this devil gun. Yep. Get out of

00:38:49.219 --> 00:38:55.960
my frying pan. Are we walking like that ZZ Top

00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:59.099
music video to this palace? Like slow motion.

00:38:59.119 --> 00:39:03.559
I'm putting the teeth in slow motion. Yes. Absolutely.

00:39:04.099 --> 00:39:07.219
High is making sure his gun has no bullets in

00:39:07.219 --> 00:39:11.039
it. Making sure it's empty. Spinning. Putting

00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:14.659
on the stocking. Slow -mo putting on the stocking.

00:39:15.789 --> 00:39:18.650
Yeah, you guys are prepped, and you are at these

00:39:18.650 --> 00:39:23.289
giant gates of this emerald palace. Is there

00:39:23.289 --> 00:39:27.190
a big lever? Is there a what? A big lever? Nothing.

00:39:27.449 --> 00:39:30.030
Is it locked? There's no bobos. There's nothing.

00:39:30.809 --> 00:39:35.389
Is the gate locked? No. Oh, I opened the gate.

00:39:36.570 --> 00:39:39.610
Rob, you swing these huge doors open into this

00:39:39.610 --> 00:39:44.170
dark hall that just kind of goes deep into this

00:39:44.170 --> 00:39:49.039
room. but as you open these doors like a large

00:39:49.039 --> 00:39:52.460
assortment of bats just kind of scurry out shocked

00:39:52.460 --> 00:39:55.960
by the light I'm hard as fuck right now yeah

00:39:55.960 --> 00:40:03.099
just put my hands down just in front of my crotch

00:40:03.099 --> 00:40:11.519
I can explain I don't think that any explanation

00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:16.710
would be more comfortable than what we'd assume.

00:40:18.349 --> 00:40:21.949
I think it would be worse. As Dr. Glaser always

00:40:21.949 --> 00:40:27.550
says, we listen and we don't judge. No, we judge.

00:40:31.510 --> 00:40:35.429
Alright, yeah, so you're in this hall, and there's

00:40:35.429 --> 00:40:37.869
really not that much to see, but you can poke

00:40:37.869 --> 00:40:40.710
around, you can see what you can find out, whatever

00:40:40.710 --> 00:40:43.840
you want. So, hall... Are there doors or is it

00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:46.139
just like one big long like? It's a very long

00:40:46.139 --> 00:40:50.960
hallway and there are two doors at the end. Boy,

00:40:51.099 --> 00:40:55.260
I think I'm going to poke around. Poke around,

00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:58.659
see what you find. In every corner, you just

00:40:58.659 --> 00:41:01.380
release more bats and Peter gets hornier and

00:41:01.380 --> 00:41:05.139
hornier. It's getting painful for him at this

00:41:05.139 --> 00:41:13.510
point. Be kind. Rushing. Life fading. That erection

00:41:13.510 --> 00:41:15.909
might actually be saving your life as all the

00:41:15.909 --> 00:41:18.730
blood is stored down below the wound. That's

00:41:18.730 --> 00:41:21.510
true. This is the worst leisure suit lariat I've

00:41:21.510 --> 00:41:27.889
ever played. Yeah, I will proceed to the doors.

00:41:28.170 --> 00:41:32.949
Great. Alright, so you guys open up door number

00:41:32.949 --> 00:41:39.050
one and what you see is grisly and confusing.

00:41:40.090 --> 00:41:44.239
You see the corpses of Hundreds of people who

00:41:44.239 --> 00:41:48.760
look like you. Stacked like cordwood. Sort of

00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:54.099
embalmed, almost. I have to admit, that is not

00:41:54.099 --> 00:41:58.539
reassuring. I feel like I'm vomiting in the corner

00:41:58.539 --> 00:42:02.000
at this point. Yeah, it's pretty gross. Yeah,

00:42:02.059 --> 00:42:05.480
definitely vomiting in the corner. If I wasn't

00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:15.250
so aroused, I'd be upset. All right, well, with

00:42:15.250 --> 00:42:24.289
my devil gun up and ready to go, I'll enter the

00:42:24.289 --> 00:42:29.210
room. Okay, you're in a room full of dead Nick

00:42:29.210 --> 00:42:33.230
Cage characters. How large is this room? It's

00:42:33.230 --> 00:42:37.090
a large circular room. It kind of towers up,

00:42:37.170 --> 00:42:39.809
and these bodies are stacked pretty fucking high.

00:42:39.949 --> 00:42:48.579
There's a lot of them. any focal point beyond

00:42:48.579 --> 00:42:52.000
just the corpses no otherwise the room seems

00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:56.360
kind of featureless um like way up high it's

00:42:56.360 --> 00:42:59.019
sort of ringed with gargoyles um but otherwise

00:42:59.019 --> 00:43:06.360
that's with nick cage heads yeah no why do they

00:43:06.360 --> 00:43:10.300
all have our faces is this a collection of our

00:43:10.300 --> 00:43:13.929
sins for the past Crimes we committed in our

00:43:13.929 --> 00:43:19.090
human lives. These are the us's that never found

00:43:19.090 --> 00:43:24.750
the contract. It is over, you fucking bitch.

00:43:27.550 --> 00:43:31.789
You said there were two doors? Yeah. I'm gonna

00:43:31.789 --> 00:43:33.389
go open that other door. I don't want to be in

00:43:33.389 --> 00:43:36.530
this room. Okay, yeah, so you open this other

00:43:36.530 --> 00:43:39.250
door and it's completely the exact same style

00:43:39.250 --> 00:43:42.940
of room. Very cylindrical. No cage bodies in

00:43:42.940 --> 00:43:45.860
here at all. There is a door at the other end

00:43:45.860 --> 00:43:50.880
of it that the other room did not have. Go to

00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:54.780
the other door. Yeah, I think it's a good, good

00:43:54.780 --> 00:43:56.820
idea. I'll just close the door as I leave this

00:43:56.820 --> 00:43:59.699
one. Yeah. You know, honor the dead. Yeah. No,

00:43:59.739 --> 00:44:04.900
no reason to disturb this. Open that door. Okay.

00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:07.679
So the four of you are in this cylindrical room

00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:10.420
and Rob, you reach and you touch the handle of

00:44:10.420 --> 00:44:13.349
that door. You turn it. and the whole room starts

00:44:13.349 --> 00:44:17.349
to spiral and your exit door is now underground

00:44:17.349 --> 00:44:20.590
and your exit or your uh your new door that you

00:44:20.590 --> 00:44:22.489
were just trying to open is way up in the sky

00:44:22.489 --> 00:44:25.969
and you were just kind of in the center of this

00:44:25.969 --> 00:44:32.610
room other than you rob uh where there's nothing

00:44:32.610 --> 00:44:38.489
that you can see like a giant like the room turned

00:44:38.489 --> 00:44:41.719
into a giant spiral staircase Except minus the

00:44:41.719 --> 00:44:44.880
stairs, yeah. Am I still on the floor level with

00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:50.340
them? Yeah. Yeah, you kind of got like a as everything

00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:55.440
went kind of crazy. Can we see anything or is

00:44:55.440 --> 00:44:57.679
it all just completely dark? No, there's some

00:44:57.679 --> 00:44:59.980
light in here. I don't know, cast from something

00:44:59.980 --> 00:45:02.760
up above. The only thing you can really see are

00:45:02.760 --> 00:45:05.000
those gargoyle statues around the entire top.

00:45:06.519 --> 00:45:15.619
Needs my vampire bat sonar to navigate us. Start

00:45:15.619 --> 00:45:20.059
shouting into the void. I'll fire as the exit.

00:45:21.860 --> 00:45:24.099
I'm still hot as fuck at the same time as well.

00:45:24.699 --> 00:45:28.480
And your sonar pings off of something and you

00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:30.719
get something back to your ears and that something

00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:37.179
is the sound of vomiting? And you start to see

00:45:37.179 --> 00:45:41.119
down the edges of the wall. Some sort of substance

00:45:41.119 --> 00:45:46.159
is just like pouring into this space. So our

00:45:46.159 --> 00:45:50.099
room is filling up. Is the substance vomit? Do

00:45:50.099 --> 00:45:55.840
me a favor and go investigate. Investigate the

00:45:55.840 --> 00:45:59.260
might be vomit. No, it is something that you're

00:45:59.260 --> 00:46:03.059
actually quite familiar with. It is macaroni

00:46:03.059 --> 00:46:11.739
and cheese. Of course it is. Cheddar Goblin.

00:46:11.860 --> 00:46:17.260
Cheddar Goblin. Is it edible? Can I take a bite?

00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:19.739
Is it coming out of the gargoyle's mouth? It

00:46:19.739 --> 00:46:21.300
is coming out of the gargoyle's mouth, which

00:46:21.300 --> 00:46:26.420
are all active Cheddar Goblins. And yeah, it's

00:46:26.420 --> 00:46:30.440
actually fucking really tasty. It's the cheesiest.

00:46:31.199 --> 00:46:35.360
Take one of the pocket dogs and just put mac

00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:40.400
and cheese over the top of it. You are healed

00:46:40.400 --> 00:46:42.820
fully and you are now in Super Saiyan mode. You

00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:49.420
are a god. Okay, yeah, so this room, you know,

00:46:49.420 --> 00:46:53.239
the levels are sort of fairly rapidly rising.

00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:55.960
This cheddar is coming up pretty quick on you.

00:46:59.500 --> 00:47:03.599
And our exit door went down? Correct. I want

00:47:03.599 --> 00:47:09.219
to use my knowledge of food and cheese -based

00:47:09.219 --> 00:47:16.280
substances to figure out how dense this stuff

00:47:16.280 --> 00:47:19.300
is going to be and whether or not we'll float.

00:47:20.659 --> 00:47:25.199
Okay, yeah. Go ahead and roll me three on that

00:47:25.199 --> 00:47:27.219
because I feel like you would know some shit.

00:47:28.500 --> 00:47:37.280
Oh, damn. No successes. I had two. I know nothing

00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:44.739
of magical cheese. What is macaroni? Are the

00:47:44.739 --> 00:47:48.440
walls, do the walls look at all climbable? They

00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:53.139
are not climbable, no. Is there anything we could

00:47:53.139 --> 00:47:56.480
feel on the floor? That's like an exit that might

00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:59.480
be underneath us. No, the only thing that you

00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:01.719
can see is sort of halfway up, there's sort of

00:48:01.719 --> 00:48:05.219
a cavity in the wall that you can't quite identify

00:48:05.219 --> 00:48:08.440
what it is. But there is something there that

00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:11.179
is not the door up above you. Halfway up as in

00:48:11.179 --> 00:48:14.880
like, is that like 20 feet, 50 feet, 7 feet?

00:48:15.099 --> 00:48:20.780
We'll say 20. 20 feet? Okay. Don't suppose any

00:48:20.780 --> 00:48:24.659
of you fellas have some rope about you. I just

00:48:24.659 --> 00:48:31.190
pull out my... pocket full of yarn we try and

00:48:31.190 --> 00:48:34.210
lasso onto one of the gargoyles and climb out

00:48:34.210 --> 00:48:37.110
on the yarn yeah how high up are the gargoyles

00:48:37.110 --> 00:48:40.849
uh so let's see um the the cavity is 20 feet

00:48:40.849 --> 00:48:43.409
up the door is 30 feet up and the gargoyles are

00:48:43.409 --> 00:48:50.610
another 10 up from that uh i mean i think three

00:48:50.610 --> 00:48:58.320
of us could like ladder up At least to the cavity.

00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:04.219
Yeah. I feel like Robin and Cameron Poe are sturdy

00:49:04.219 --> 00:49:08.599
enough where they could ladder up and High could

00:49:08.599 --> 00:49:12.820
scamper up to that cavity. Yeah, I like that.

00:49:14.900 --> 00:49:17.599
That seems reasonable, right? So you're going

00:49:17.599 --> 00:49:22.440
to be a little bit shy given that height, but

00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.250
not by much. High could just sort of jump off

00:49:25.250 --> 00:49:27.289
of Cameron's shoulders or something to kind of

00:49:27.289 --> 00:49:30.610
reach that space. There we go. So go ahead. This

00:49:30.610 --> 00:49:33.489
is actually I think that's clever enough. Just

00:49:33.489 --> 00:49:38.150
just a one roll. From from each of us or just

00:49:38.150 --> 00:49:46.769
from you. OK. Nope, that's a zero. You fall backwards

00:49:46.769 --> 00:49:49.170
into the mac and cheese and you start to suffocate

00:49:49.170 --> 00:49:52.269
a little bit and panic and you need some help.

00:49:52.369 --> 00:49:58.639
Oh, dear. just wait over and like lift him out

00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:04.099
okay yeah you're back out things are okay i'm

00:50:04.099 --> 00:50:05.900
just gonna flap in my arms like a bat to start

00:50:05.900 --> 00:50:10.539
trying to swim in this fucking cheese goop yes

00:50:10.539 --> 00:50:17.119
perfect don't forget to kick your legs i don't

00:50:17.119 --> 00:50:19.219
know what to do in this situation other than

00:50:19.219 --> 00:50:22.780
just try the same thing again Well, try the same

00:50:22.780 --> 00:50:25.679
thing, but do it in a different way. Add a little

00:50:25.679 --> 00:50:27.460
creative element to it that you didn't do the

00:50:27.460 --> 00:50:34.159
first time. Can I give them my piece of pallet

00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:37.579
so they've got a point to jab into the wall,

00:50:37.699 --> 00:50:40.039
perhaps? Sadly, your pallet is still stuck in

00:50:40.039 --> 00:50:42.480
Bobo's heart. Here's what I'll do. I'll take

00:50:42.480 --> 00:50:46.119
some of the lengths of pantyhose, knot them together,

00:50:46.860 --> 00:50:51.639
tie them, knot them around the empty gun, Well,

00:50:51.659 --> 00:50:54.840
I try and get up there, flip the empty gun up

00:50:54.840 --> 00:50:57.380
to see if it'll catch on something like a like

00:50:57.380 --> 00:51:00.320
a grappling hook. Yeah. All right. Give me a

00:51:00.320 --> 00:51:06.579
two roll. OK, so there's one. One for using the

00:51:06.579 --> 00:51:11.320
gun, one for using the pantyhose. Only one one

00:51:11.320 --> 00:51:19.380
piece of equipment. OK. That's one success. OK.

00:51:19.840 --> 00:51:23.340
i rolled like shit so uh you did it finally what

00:51:23.340 --> 00:51:27.139
what did you anchor anchor the gun on the door

00:51:27.139 --> 00:51:31.039
or something uh well i'm just tossing it up there

00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:33.219
to get it to catch on something so it can climb

00:51:33.219 --> 00:51:35.639
up the knotted pantyhose or use it to stabilize

00:51:35.639 --> 00:51:38.920
oh sure okay yeah all right so um hi you climb

00:51:38.920 --> 00:51:41.119
these pantyhose the level of mac and cheese is

00:51:41.119 --> 00:51:44.199
really pretty rapidly rising the the flow has

00:51:44.199 --> 00:51:46.719
increased cheddar goblins mouths have opened

00:51:46.719 --> 00:51:51.440
more um So at this point, Rob, if you're the

00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:54.059
base of this entire thing, you are pretty much

00:51:54.059 --> 00:51:57.699
up to your nose in mac and cheese. So you're

00:51:57.699 --> 00:52:03.820
in in some imminent danger. So high as you climb

00:52:03.820 --> 00:52:05.960
up there, what you end up seeing in that cavity

00:52:05.960 --> 00:52:11.960
is what appears to be a pretty plain box. Is

00:52:11.960 --> 00:52:16.460
it openable easily? Sure. Flip it open. It is

00:52:16.460 --> 00:52:23.079
empty. That is not. of much help uh if i if i

00:52:23.079 --> 00:52:25.539
go lower the pantyhose back down can they grab

00:52:25.539 --> 00:52:28.579
onto it and help climb up the wall sure okay

00:52:28.579 --> 00:52:32.960
let's do that i'll hop down and help rob and

00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:35.980
peter up first yeah you guys can kind of like

00:52:35.980 --> 00:52:38.079
fight against the flow and bob on the surface

00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:40.760
but you will inevitably start like sinking down

00:52:40.760 --> 00:52:43.039
quicksand style into this mac and cheese which

00:52:43.039 --> 00:52:45.619
while delicious you cannot eat enough to save

00:52:45.619 --> 00:52:53.349
yourselves I'll show you. I feel like I'd be

00:52:53.349 --> 00:52:56.590
cowardly enough to scurry up first without any

00:52:56.590 --> 00:53:04.630
discussion. By the time I get up there, I want

00:53:04.630 --> 00:53:11.690
to just admire where are you buying these? These

00:53:11.690 --> 00:53:18.929
are pretty nice tights. Legs. They come in the

00:53:18.929 --> 00:53:23.190
egg. Yeah. Rob is impressed by this. Sean really

00:53:23.190 --> 00:53:25.289
wants to know where I can buy those. He gets

00:53:25.289 --> 00:53:30.730
them really nice. All right. So we're all looking

00:53:30.730 --> 00:53:34.809
at this box? Yeah. Empty box. Anything about

00:53:34.809 --> 00:53:38.329
this box strike a chord? What kind of box is

00:53:38.329 --> 00:53:39.750
it? What shape is this box? Cardboard, we're

00:53:39.750 --> 00:53:43.550
talking. It is a cardboard box. Got a name on

00:53:43.550 --> 00:53:49.699
it? Boy, is that... I think this is a test. I'm

00:53:49.699 --> 00:53:57.780
going to put the bunny in the box. I put the

00:53:57.780 --> 00:54:03.000
bunny in the box. And you hear a happy little

00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:10.519
tune. And the Cheddar Goblins stop barfing. And

00:54:10.519 --> 00:54:13.219
the floor kind of comes back up to where you

00:54:13.219 --> 00:54:16.630
guys are. And the door sort of rotates back down

00:54:16.630 --> 00:54:20.250
the other way. And the slurry of mac and cheese

00:54:20.250 --> 00:54:22.369
just sort of goes through as if it's gone through

00:54:22.369 --> 00:54:24.289
like a grater or a sieve or something like that.

00:54:24.389 --> 00:54:29.510
And you're standing in front of this door. This

00:54:29.510 --> 00:54:34.909
is some kind of sick test. But I think we're

00:54:34.909 --> 00:54:38.889
going to be put up against elements of our life

00:54:38.889 --> 00:54:46.190
here. This bunny in the box. It's from a darker

00:54:46.190 --> 00:54:51.230
time in my life. Keep an eye out for anything

00:54:51.230 --> 00:54:57.010
that seems too familiar. You're at this door.

00:54:57.690 --> 00:55:02.809
Throw it open. Yeah. I'll lead in. Rob's done

00:55:02.809 --> 00:55:08.389
with this shit. Welcome to the throne room. You

00:55:08.389 --> 00:55:12.800
enter this large, darkened space. And there's

00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:15.460
not that much that you can see because it's quite

00:55:15.460 --> 00:55:19.179
dark in here. And then illuminated in front of

00:55:19.179 --> 00:55:23.260
you is a gigantic head. And it looks familiar

00:55:23.260 --> 00:55:27.300
to you because it is your own face. But for those

00:55:27.300 --> 00:55:30.920
of us who know, it's Gary's face from Army of

00:55:30.920 --> 00:55:39.139
One. I see the resemblance immediately. Yeah,

00:55:39.139 --> 00:55:41.960
you recognize. Yeah, I feel like I could play

00:55:41.960 --> 00:55:45.760
him in a film. Well, and as a man who's been

00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:48.579
to Afghanistan, like, you know, this is a guy

00:55:48.579 --> 00:55:53.500
who knows Benny boy. Fair, fair. So he's an overweight.

00:55:54.059 --> 00:55:58.440
Cameron Poe. I like it. Pretty much. And this

00:55:58.440 --> 00:56:01.400
giant head kind of turns and perceives you. And

00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:04.840
it's not well animated. It's more of a Zardoz

00:56:04.840 --> 00:56:08.159
head than it is like a true Wizard of Oz head.

00:56:11.179 --> 00:56:18.519
There are no more cages. I want to go up to high

00:56:18.519 --> 00:56:24.079
and it's like give me one of those Rock pocket

00:56:24.079 --> 00:56:27.159
dogs. One of those charcoal dogs. Hand it over.

00:56:28.400 --> 00:56:30.800
And I'm just going to walk up to one of the walls

00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:34.420
and just start scrying in giant letters. Page.

00:56:36.760 --> 00:56:43.179
You enrage the head. Its eyes light up. It's

00:56:43.179 --> 00:56:49.019
like, man! Those hot dogs shouldn't have been

00:56:49.019 --> 00:56:56.039
used. We got the best hot dogs. Fuck! Why are

00:56:56.039 --> 00:57:01.659
you here? We're just trying to find a way home.

00:57:02.500 --> 00:57:08.219
We got rid of you. How are you here? I'd be the

00:57:08.219 --> 00:57:10.940
first to say I have no fucking idea what's been

00:57:10.940 --> 00:57:18.239
happening this entire time. I want to try and

00:57:18.239 --> 00:57:20.059
cut through the bullshit here and see if like

00:57:20.059 --> 00:57:26.860
you said this is a A fairly not great representation.

00:57:27.880 --> 00:57:30.480
Also, we all come from a world where the Wizard

00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:32.760
of Oz exists, so I'm just looking for the fucking

00:57:32.760 --> 00:57:37.579
curtain. Yeah, dude. Absolutely. Okay, so this

00:57:37.579 --> 00:57:41.659
room is quite dark. You can't see a ton, but

00:57:41.659 --> 00:57:44.039
you know what you're trying to do. So I think

00:57:44.039 --> 00:57:47.300
this is just going to be a one roll. But roll

00:57:47.300 --> 00:57:52.630
well, because I did succeed. two successes five

00:57:52.630 --> 00:57:56.309
and a four fuck yeah okay so i just want to rock

00:57:56.309 --> 00:57:58.269
up to that curtain and just rip it down yeah

00:57:58.269 --> 00:58:01.090
so rob you go over you rip that curtain down

00:58:01.090 --> 00:58:05.190
and um this head in the sky just sort of like

00:58:05.190 --> 00:58:08.829
wamps down onto the ground which would have been

00:58:08.829 --> 00:58:11.230
really grievous injury for any of you had you

00:58:11.230 --> 00:58:14.369
been under it um but it just sort of thunks down

00:58:14.369 --> 00:58:20.670
there and falls over and goes man And what you've

00:58:20.670 --> 00:58:24.929
revealed, you instantly can see two major things.

00:58:25.969 --> 00:58:33.130
In one corner, you see three mole people. And...

00:58:33.130 --> 00:58:42.250
Wait, like... Mole people or fucking moles? Like,

00:58:42.250 --> 00:58:45.869
mole people. I mean, they're kind of moles. Like

00:58:45.869 --> 00:58:48.559
mole men? Or are we talking like... I mean, two

00:58:48.559 --> 00:58:50.079
of them look pretty similar, and the other has

00:58:50.079 --> 00:58:52.480
a bigger head, but yeah, sure. What do those

00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:58.440
heads look like? Moles. Moles, mainly. And then

00:58:58.440 --> 00:59:02.000
in the other corner, you can see a cage, and

00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:04.420
inside of that cage is a pretty well -appointed

00:59:04.420 --> 00:59:08.079
little apartment, and... A Nicolas cage or a

00:59:08.079 --> 00:59:12.000
physical cage? A lowercase cage. And inside of

00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:17.590
the lowercase cage is a capital C cage. As the

00:59:17.590 --> 00:59:21.050
curtain drops, the three moles sort of skitter

00:59:21.050 --> 00:59:24.369
about and freak the fuck out. They shouldn't

00:59:24.369 --> 00:59:27.989
see us! Fuck! Oh, God! Shit! And then they run

00:59:27.989 --> 00:59:29.989
to the center of this room and they press a red

00:59:29.989 --> 00:59:32.170
button and they are immediately encapsulated

00:59:32.170 --> 00:59:35.429
in a sphere. And then that sphere is surrounded,

00:59:35.590 --> 00:59:42.010
Krang -style, by a sort of robotic body. And

00:59:42.010 --> 00:59:47.360
from their arms, they pull a long katana. and

00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:59.440
a Ghost Rider -style chain whip. All right. I'm

00:59:59.440 --> 01:00:01.139
going to look at... What does the cage in the

01:00:01.139 --> 01:00:07.420
cage look like? Nicholas fucking Cage. Nicholas

01:00:07.420 --> 01:00:14.340
Coppola? Correct. Okay. Rachel, this would be

01:00:14.340 --> 01:00:17.159
a really good time to give me some fucking answers

01:00:17.159 --> 01:00:20.239
because I think I'm fucking done. I'm just going

01:00:20.239 --> 01:00:27.099
to walk up to the cage and be like, what? We

01:00:27.099 --> 01:00:30.099
don't have time for this. I can explain it. Deal

01:00:30.099 --> 01:00:33.099
with the moles. I brought you here for a reason.

01:00:33.599 --> 01:00:37.260
I have had enough of this. I need to get out

01:00:37.260 --> 01:00:39.980
of this place. I just want to get back to Ed.

01:00:40.199 --> 01:00:44.500
You creatures. Just charge the thing and try

01:00:44.500 --> 01:00:47.579
and tackle it. Great. Yeah, I mean, it's fucking

01:00:47.579 --> 01:00:52.639
huge, so this will be challenging. The brain

01:00:52.639 --> 01:00:55.360
is gone at this point. I'm in crazy shit overload.

01:00:55.739 --> 01:00:57.420
That sounds like a cage -out kind of moment.

01:00:57.500 --> 01:01:03.940
That sounds like a cage -out moment. How many

01:01:03.940 --> 01:01:05.800
am I rolling against, just out of curiosity?

01:01:06.139 --> 01:01:11.690
I did eight. So it's about even. Oh, that's so

01:01:11.690 --> 01:01:16.809
bad. That's four. Four successes. Four successes

01:01:16.809 --> 01:01:22.389
does it. Oh! Yeah. I didn't roll super well.

01:01:22.670 --> 01:01:26.309
What are you doing and trying to do on this one?

01:01:27.110 --> 01:01:31.510
I'm just trying to tackle it, rip bits of it

01:01:31.510 --> 01:01:34.309
off, smash whatever that bubble is to get at

01:01:34.309 --> 01:01:39.519
the mole people. Just blind rage. Right on. Okay.

01:01:39.579 --> 01:01:41.539
So as you kind of approach this thing, it swings

01:01:41.539 --> 01:01:44.139
its katana with one arm and it whips this chain

01:01:44.139 --> 01:01:46.019
around with the other, but you managed to do

01:01:46.019 --> 01:01:48.659
some sort of high shenanigans, you know, sliding

01:01:48.659 --> 01:01:52.300
on your back, whatever, hurting yourself on popcorn

01:01:52.300 --> 01:01:55.460
ceiling. I don't care what it is, but you, you

01:01:55.460 --> 01:01:58.599
get through that, that first onslaught and you

01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:01.900
latch onto this thing's leg and you are an anchor

01:02:01.900 --> 01:02:05.940
and you're definitely deterring it from moving

01:02:05.940 --> 01:02:08.949
well at this point. There we go. just trying

01:02:08.949 --> 01:02:11.530
to i don't know if it's like got mechanisms i

01:02:11.530 --> 01:02:14.530
can try and jam up or if it's just like a suit

01:02:14.530 --> 01:02:18.110
of armor i can try and rip off or yeah let's

01:02:18.110 --> 01:02:24.190
let's find out next time it's a no part of the

01:02:24.190 --> 01:02:27.489
mole sort of like uh physically available it's

01:02:27.489 --> 01:02:29.449
all behind like armor and spheres and things

01:02:29.449 --> 01:02:33.670
yeah it's definitely got spheres fucking spheres

01:02:33.670 --> 01:02:38.900
man god damn spheres A Gary made of spheres and

01:02:38.900 --> 01:02:45.380
nodes holding all those damn moles. Nodes. The

01:02:45.380 --> 01:02:54.119
nodes. Can you shoot it or something? Black Eyed

01:02:54.119 --> 01:02:56.860
Peas playing? Oh, yeah. The Boom Boom Pow came

01:02:56.860 --> 01:03:00.219
on right when you guys first came in. Of course

01:03:00.219 --> 01:03:06.739
it did. I'll level out and take the Gary. In

01:03:06.739 --> 01:03:10.320
the Gary head with my devil gun. Yep. All right.

01:03:14.320 --> 01:03:17.360
We'll do three on that. Sure. And I'll, I'll,

01:03:17.360 --> 01:03:19.599
I'll take a second to really kind of blow out

01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:24.820
my hair while I aim down at it. So two successes.

01:03:25.659 --> 01:03:30.159
Okay. So you with your devil gun, it shoots all

01:03:30.159 --> 01:03:33.800
sort of arcane satanic symbols and shit. And

01:03:33.800 --> 01:03:36.039
it blasts straight through the forehead of the

01:03:36.039 --> 01:03:39.420
devil or the devil of the Gary head. And that

01:03:39.420 --> 01:03:44.320
thing blows up and it sprays shrapnel all over

01:03:44.320 --> 01:03:51.320
the the Krang mole people. Has it fallen? Is

01:03:51.320 --> 01:03:58.349
it continuing to fight? Yeah. It's still there.

01:03:59.550 --> 01:04:08.349
Are the moles, are they now visible? Yes. Could

01:04:08.349 --> 01:04:12.050
I, with my teeth in, this might be like a joint

01:04:12.050 --> 01:04:15.570
effort, run, be propelled by one of our co -cages

01:04:15.570 --> 01:04:17.570
so that I can go into the hole and just bite

01:04:17.570 --> 01:04:23.010
on this mole? Because that's what I want to do.

01:04:24.780 --> 01:04:27.219
you could absolutely leap off my back i'm very

01:04:27.219 --> 01:04:30.980
well okay we'll play with that um yeah i'm gonna

01:04:30.980 --> 01:04:33.300
that's a challenge three all of these are gonna

01:04:33.300 --> 01:04:35.500
be threes i'm gonna add some extra dice for myself

01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:42.639
though yeah of course you would classic uh right

01:04:42.639 --> 01:04:48.800
uh i have a six a five and a one Okay, it's a

01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:51.099
push. So you managed to get yourself onto the

01:04:51.099 --> 01:04:53.719
sphere and you're kind of hanging on to one spot

01:04:53.719 --> 01:04:55.699
that got sort of fractured a little bit with

01:04:55.699 --> 01:05:00.579
the shrapnel, but you are not in a biteable way.

01:05:01.440 --> 01:05:07.199
I do be dangling. You love a good dangle. So

01:05:07.199 --> 01:05:12.800
I want to ask Nick Cage, why have they done this?

01:05:12.860 --> 01:05:15.420
Why have they kidnapped you? What is this place?

01:05:16.190 --> 01:05:18.409
This was the entire point. They just wanted me.

01:05:19.050 --> 01:05:21.150
You guys are an anomaly because I brought you

01:05:21.150 --> 01:05:25.449
to save me. What about the room full of all the

01:05:25.449 --> 01:05:29.329
other cages? What they did to them is a travesty,

01:05:29.329 --> 01:05:33.250
but they knew that they had the real cage, so

01:05:33.250 --> 01:05:37.630
they got rid of the rest. How do you spell Nick?

01:05:38.829 --> 01:05:43.550
N -I -C. Okay, so it is the real Nick Cage. You

01:05:43.550 --> 01:05:46.420
know it, baby. and he gives you a classic smile

01:05:46.420 --> 01:05:53.920
veneers and all so i'm just gonna like walk i

01:05:53.920 --> 01:05:55.619
just want to walk out into kind of the middle

01:05:55.619 --> 01:06:00.139
of the room while like in slow motion like peter's

01:06:00.139 --> 01:06:02.039
like hanging from like this thing just trying

01:06:02.039 --> 01:06:08.199
to like bite in uh uh reloading um hi it's just

01:06:08.199 --> 01:06:11.940
like just hanging off and being spun around and

01:06:11.940 --> 01:06:16.630
it's like Fucking tiny, tiny mole things. Tiny

01:06:16.630 --> 01:06:21.670
mole people. What the fuck? Why have you done

01:06:21.670 --> 01:06:23.730
this to that man? Why have you done this to that

01:06:23.730 --> 01:06:28.170
man? All right, you're going to roll for this.

01:06:29.269 --> 01:06:31.369
Ask a question? We're not at what I'm doing yet.

01:06:32.510 --> 01:06:36.050
The preamble. If that's what you want, they're

01:06:36.050 --> 01:06:38.940
not going to be distracted by you. You need to

01:06:38.940 --> 01:06:40.679
talk to them for me to use any of my skills.

01:06:43.019 --> 01:06:45.059
All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. Not take

01:06:45.059 --> 01:06:52.199
a punch. I could pass on a message. No, actually,

01:06:52.280 --> 01:06:53.920
that's a good point. If you want to have a message

01:06:53.920 --> 01:06:58.019
to them, Rob, I think that you have to get fucked

01:06:58.019 --> 01:07:03.099
up. So you're going to take a fairly major assault.

01:07:04.079 --> 01:07:06.199
And we'll see how much damage you do and if you

01:07:06.199 --> 01:07:10.440
can stand up. All right, I only have two dice

01:07:10.440 --> 01:07:17.300
for that. Okay, I'm gonna roll a bunch. No successes.

01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:25.059
None? Nope. Well, I had two, so... Okay, so Rob,

01:07:25.159 --> 01:07:27.360
at this point, you get, like, batted across the

01:07:27.360 --> 01:07:29.860
room and you slam against the wall. You are not

01:07:29.860 --> 01:07:34.400
dead, but you are pretty fucked up. All right.

01:07:35.039 --> 01:07:39.469
So at this time... I'm just going to cage out.

01:07:40.210 --> 01:07:44.510
Yep. I'm going to like seeing Rob get just thrown

01:07:44.510 --> 01:07:49.909
up 70 or 25 % of our party there. Yeah. This

01:07:49.909 --> 01:07:51.829
is pretty dire straits. We got Nicholas cage.

01:07:51.929 --> 01:07:53.949
We got a lot of things on the line. I'm going

01:07:53.949 --> 01:07:59.210
to, I'm just going to run in. I want to distract

01:07:59.210 --> 01:08:02.969
it. So it swings the chain loops up its own legs,

01:08:03.150 --> 01:08:08.119
knocks itself down. Then I'll. get in and you

01:08:08.119 --> 01:08:11.400
know do a kill shot but i'm caging out fuck yeah

01:08:11.400 --> 01:08:15.260
with all of these dice i've done a lot of stupid

01:08:15.260 --> 01:08:21.939
things eight successes nice i had five which

01:08:21.939 --> 01:08:25.420
five out of six i rolled really super well yeah

01:08:25.420 --> 01:08:28.739
um that does it okay so describe what you actually

01:08:28.739 --> 01:08:33.560
do so i'm gonna just kind of run in Sort of a

01:08:33.560 --> 01:08:36.840
slow motion thing, making lots of noise, getting

01:08:36.840 --> 01:08:40.380
those moles attention. I want them to swing that

01:08:40.380 --> 01:08:44.439
chain to try to sweep me. And I'll dive for its

01:08:44.439 --> 01:08:47.359
legs so that the chain carries around. Perfect.

01:08:47.500 --> 01:08:50.460
Lasso's itself. I'll come up on the backside.

01:08:50.800 --> 01:08:54.819
I'll maybe pop one off in its butt to knock it

01:08:54.819 --> 01:08:58.600
off balance. You're popping a devil gun off in

01:08:58.600 --> 01:09:01.159
its butt? It's the only gun I've got. Yeah, fair

01:09:01.159 --> 01:09:04.979
enough. Not going to want the big crushing machine

01:09:04.979 --> 01:09:08.319
that's been in the corner the whole time. Yeah,

01:09:08.420 --> 01:09:13.300
probably into some power lines first. Then into

01:09:13.300 --> 01:09:17.279
a crusher machine. Okay, so at this point, the

01:09:17.279 --> 01:09:23.840
mole machine has fallen over. Hi, you're going

01:09:23.840 --> 01:09:25.619
to have to have gotten out of the way in some

01:09:25.619 --> 01:09:28.220
way, but you're sort of up on top. Peter, you're

01:09:28.220 --> 01:09:31.119
there still kind of clinging to the sphere, and

01:09:31.119 --> 01:09:34.560
the entire thing has fallen pretty close to where

01:09:34.560 --> 01:09:38.119
you are, Rob. But it is starting to get itself

01:09:38.119 --> 01:09:42.020
back up. I'm going to stop crawling into the

01:09:42.020 --> 01:09:45.399
open hole. So the hole is near me so I can see

01:09:45.399 --> 01:09:48.399
these things now? Yep. They're all kind of sideways,

01:09:48.579 --> 01:09:51.119
but yeah. And I'm also sideways, so we're both

01:09:51.119 --> 01:09:54.560
on the floor just staring at each other. It's

01:09:54.560 --> 01:10:00.600
like, you kidnapped a man with a million faces.

01:10:02.539 --> 01:10:05.779
Why? We just needed the one. The whole thing

01:10:05.779 --> 01:10:15.500
was about meeting the one. You killed 110 plus.

01:10:18.250 --> 01:10:22.630
Irrelevant. And why did you want to meet this

01:10:22.630 --> 01:10:30.350
one? Because he's the best. I'll start scaling

01:10:30.350 --> 01:10:39.069
the back. Perfect. What's your favorite thing

01:10:39.069 --> 01:10:41.810
about this man? What's the best thing about this

01:10:41.810 --> 01:10:49.090
man? I like his adaptability. To me, it seems

01:10:49.090 --> 01:10:54.930
to me that you love this man for the versatility

01:10:54.930 --> 01:10:59.289
of his performances, his work. You fell in love

01:10:59.289 --> 01:11:03.489
with each one of us individually, with each one

01:11:03.489 --> 01:11:05.609
of them pointing in the direction of the room

01:11:05.609 --> 01:11:08.630
of dead people. And not only have you taken that

01:11:08.630 --> 01:11:12.939
away from yourselves, You've taken that away

01:11:12.939 --> 01:11:16.439
from the world. You wanted to see the man for

01:11:16.439 --> 01:11:20.939
who he really was, forgetting that this, that,

01:11:21.119 --> 01:11:25.079
is all part of that. And you have now denied

01:11:25.079 --> 01:11:32.239
the world and yourselves who this man is. This

01:11:32.239 --> 01:11:33.899
is my K -Town moment. This is my Rob moment.

01:11:34.220 --> 01:11:40.100
Roll it, baby. That's what Rob does. Just robbing

01:11:40.100 --> 01:11:44.489
out. Robbing out. Once we're done with this,

01:11:44.529 --> 01:11:52.229
I think I'm going to rob one out too. That is

01:11:52.229 --> 01:11:55.970
nine successes. Well, I rolled the worst I've

01:11:55.970 --> 01:11:58.770
rolled. I rolled 10 dice and I got one success.

01:12:00.489 --> 01:12:06.250
They all killed themselves. Ritual suicide. No,

01:12:06.369 --> 01:12:11.659
but close enough to that. open up the sphere.

01:12:14.220 --> 01:12:17.380
And one of them starts going, God, you're fucking

01:12:17.380 --> 01:12:20.020
right. I don't know what we were doing. We could

01:12:20.020 --> 01:12:22.800
have had all the cages, and we got the best one,

01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:25.579
but we could have had all of them. One of these

01:12:25.579 --> 01:12:29.859
mole people have a name tag that says, Hi, my

01:12:29.859 --> 01:12:33.720
name is Jack. While these moles are grieving

01:12:33.720 --> 01:12:36.399
amongst themselves, can I just crawl in and go

01:12:36.399 --> 01:12:41.979
straight for the fucking throat? I'm pelting

01:12:41.979 --> 01:12:45.279
them with like cheddar goblins soaked huggies

01:12:45.279 --> 01:12:50.579
just trying to smother them yeah one of them

01:12:50.579 --> 01:12:52.880
is having this really really important powerful

01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:56.220
moment and just like a diaper to the face and

01:12:56.220 --> 01:12:58.720
they're not big so they get knocked over completely

01:12:58.720 --> 01:13:02.600
and like maybe start drowning a little bit and

01:13:02.600 --> 01:13:06.739
then yeah Peter Lowe you go and you get one of

01:13:06.739 --> 01:13:10.850
them just like right into your chompers. And

01:13:10.850 --> 01:13:13.890
it's begging for its life, but I don't think

01:13:13.890 --> 01:13:17.989
you care. I'll kind of gently take Peter Lowe

01:13:17.989 --> 01:13:24.770
back from this. Just one of them. Missing like

01:13:24.770 --> 01:13:35.100
an arm. Yeah, exactly. It must die. All right,

01:13:35.159 --> 01:13:37.699
so at this point, you all have neutralized the

01:13:37.699 --> 01:13:40.800
moles. What have you done with them? Are they

01:13:40.800 --> 01:13:44.279
tied up somehow? Yeah, I'll tie them up with

01:13:44.279 --> 01:13:49.579
some string. Yeah, right. Thanks, Casey. Do they

01:13:49.579 --> 01:13:52.199
have the key for the cage on them? Yeah, one

01:13:52.199 --> 01:13:55.420
of them does. I'm going to go over to their computer

01:13:55.420 --> 01:13:58.020
and start smashing it until Boom Boom Pal stops

01:13:58.020 --> 01:14:02.750
playing. Very important. Oddly enough, it's playing

01:14:02.750 --> 01:14:10.710
at double speed now. It's chipmunk speed. Yeah,

01:14:10.770 --> 01:14:18.069
exactly. Those chickens are trying to copy that

01:14:18.069 --> 01:14:25.229
woman's swagger. I'll let this Nicolas Cage out.

01:14:26.430 --> 01:14:29.390
He opens the cage, follows you out, and says,

01:14:30.370 --> 01:14:32.729
Boys, I'm so pleased. I knew you were the right

01:14:32.729 --> 01:14:36.350
ones to send for this job. The thing about mole

01:14:36.350 --> 01:14:38.329
people, they never remember that we have long

01:14:38.329 --> 01:14:40.949
arms. All I had to do was adjust the nodes, and

01:14:40.949 --> 01:14:48.149
I got you. It seems a calculated mistake to leave

01:14:48.149 --> 01:14:52.890
the control panel so close to your cage, but...

01:14:52.890 --> 01:14:58.710
No one fucks with Nick Cage. You were able to

01:14:58.710 --> 01:15:00.289
reach the nodes, but you couldn't just reach

01:15:00.289 --> 01:15:04.329
out and strangle a mole? Well, they didn't come

01:15:04.329 --> 01:15:06.449
that close. Don't think too much on this, Rob.

01:15:10.210 --> 01:15:17.109
Those moles, they never just go away. Now, you

01:15:17.109 --> 01:15:21.470
brought us here, but can you get us home? That's

01:15:21.470 --> 01:15:23.810
the one thing I know how to do. I'm going back

01:15:23.810 --> 01:15:26.310
to the prime timeline. but I can send you boys

01:15:26.310 --> 01:15:30.449
wherever you want. What do you say? You want

01:15:30.449 --> 01:15:33.409
to come with me? Or do you want to go wherever

01:15:33.409 --> 01:15:38.350
you want to go? Well, you tell Trisha to tie

01:15:38.350 --> 01:15:40.489
a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree because

01:15:40.489 --> 01:15:43.869
this boy is coming home. And he goes over and

01:15:43.869 --> 01:15:47.949
he fucks with the nodes and bazzap, Cameron Poe

01:15:47.949 --> 01:15:52.289
sucked back up into a beam of light. I say, I

01:15:52.289 --> 01:15:55.470
have to get back to Ed. She's going to be worried.

01:15:55.970 --> 01:15:58.630
She's a lovely desert flower, is she not? She

01:15:58.630 --> 01:16:08.670
is. And zap! Hi. Off to his lovely wife. I'm

01:16:08.670 --> 01:16:11.069
probably quite late for an appointment with Dr.

01:16:11.149 --> 01:16:14.449
Glaser. She's going to be wondering where I am

01:16:14.449 --> 01:16:17.060
and I'm going to have to tell her. Well, a whole

01:16:17.060 --> 01:16:19.460
host of things happened beginning with A, B,

01:16:19.640 --> 01:16:29.560
C, D, A, F, J. I'm just going to shake my head

01:16:29.560 --> 01:16:35.420
and be like, oh. And he smiles at you, gives

01:16:35.420 --> 01:16:38.880
you a classic cage wink, moves the node lever,

01:16:39.039 --> 01:16:43.789
and off you go. And everything fades to black.

01:16:43.930 --> 01:16:48.090
And we, as regular people, are watching a 60

01:16:48.090 --> 01:16:51.729
Minutes episode about Nicolas Cage. And we see

01:16:51.729 --> 01:16:54.229
his house as he's wandering around talking about

01:16:54.229 --> 01:16:58.470
Action Comics 1 and a dinosaur skull, all sorts

01:16:58.470 --> 01:17:01.550
of shit. And he shows off, you know, one of his

01:17:01.550 --> 01:17:03.470
ravens, the one that still is alive. I can't

01:17:03.470 --> 01:17:06.970
remember if it's Eugen or Munin. And a new python

01:17:06.970 --> 01:17:10.829
that he got. And then his last cage. uh that

01:17:10.829 --> 01:17:14.069
he has holds these three little weird looking

01:17:14.069 --> 01:17:17.449
moles that are kind of running around and he

01:17:17.449 --> 01:17:20.850
taps on the glass and waves to them and smiles

01:17:20.850 --> 01:17:27.649
well shit you all made it through thank you for

01:17:27.649 --> 01:17:31.010
getting uh going the distance with us on this

01:17:31.010 --> 01:17:35.729
entire journey um That was a blast to do. And

01:17:35.729 --> 01:17:37.529
we're hoping to do more of that kind of content

01:17:37.529 --> 01:17:40.949
at some point, not in a Nicolas Cage kind of

01:17:40.949 --> 01:17:45.510
way, but in just a gaming way. We also have more

01:17:45.510 --> 01:17:48.369
Nick Cage content coming at you in terms of old

01:17:48.369 --> 01:17:50.649
movies that we are going to start going through

01:17:50.649 --> 01:17:52.810
kind of one by one, not in the head to head matchup

01:17:52.810 --> 01:17:55.689
style, but we're going to start bringing on new

01:17:55.689 --> 01:17:58.670
guests and old guests and just keep talking Cage

01:17:58.670 --> 01:18:01.449
as long as you're willing to go on the journey

01:18:01.449 --> 01:18:04.260
with us. And speaking of that, To our Sparkle

01:18:04.260 --> 01:18:07.060
Buddies, Josh, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam, Bill,

01:18:07.140 --> 01:18:10.260
and Stuart. And to our Cage Dancers, Ira, John,

01:18:10.520 --> 01:18:14.380
Freeman, Lance, Nathan, and Cameron. We love

01:18:14.380 --> 01:18:16.279
your support. Thank you for being a part of this.

01:18:16.420 --> 01:18:20.140
And keep on listening. We've got more Cage coming

01:18:20.140 --> 01:18:33.939
at you. All right. Bye -bye. Bye -bye. minimal

01:18:33.939 --> 01:18:38.420
cages lost yeah actually i think well there was

01:18:38.420 --> 01:18:41.119
maybe maximum amount of cages lost but it wasn't

01:18:41.119 --> 01:18:43.720
because aside from that one room yeah right just

01:18:43.720 --> 01:18:46.659
one room and eight bobby peruse rest in peace

01:18:46.659 --> 01:18:52.239
yeah gone but not forgotten oh that was so disturbing

01:18:52.239 --> 01:18:58.550
our sweet sweet boys and i'd do it again Somehow,

01:18:58.590 --> 01:19:00.890
even though there was a room full of corpses,

01:19:00.989 --> 01:19:03.489
those eight Bobby Crews licking their teeth in

01:19:03.489 --> 01:19:05.470
unison is still the creepiest thing that happened.

01:19:05.789 --> 01:19:10.909
Yeah. I wrote that bit last night when I was

01:19:10.909 --> 01:19:12.529
just sitting around. I was like, this is gross.

01:19:15.289 --> 01:19:16.710
I'm definitely putting that in.