Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Also, they're great for lunch because they won't they don't advertise this,
but you can just get a half sandwich on the side for like 12 bucks.
What do I do for the rest of my lunch, then?
I mean, or you can just get the full sandwich.
But that's like $18.
Gee, really sell me on going to Alehouse.
Yeah, all right.
Fair enough. We're going to get Alehouse as a sponsor.
Then they're going to listen to this episode.
Yeah. Pull it. Yep.
Exactly. No one listens to the recap episodes.
We're fine.
Say whatever the fuck you go on tonight.
Did we cross 600?
No, 599.
I was like, I should just have Rachel listen to it.
And then that's that's inauthentic. Cheating.
Yeah, I'm really mad about it.
Oh, do you still have the photo of the wild poop knife you found?
Yeah, I found a poop knife.
Oh, somebody's going to be really sad. They lost that.
No, no, it was in a bathroom still.
It was like conveniently placed there.
Oh, you mean you didn't take it?
It might did not.
I mean, it was basically just a butter knife that has been used to chop up poop.
So you assume why else would that knife be in the bathroom?
So seems reasonable.
I'm actually surprised.
I thought you were going to speak of like a commercial or rest area
kind of restroom. Oh, yeah.
No, this is a private residence.
Yeah, this was a.
That's someone's private poop knife.
Well, I hope you didn't use it.
No, no, I would never deign to use someone else's poop knife.
Violate the sanctity of a poop knife.
Yeah, man.
Or Adam responded to this thread with what is dot dot dot a poop knife.
I can't believe he didn't know.
I responded, it's the knife you use to make a hearty poop smaller.
What so it can be flushed.
I am reticent to use the word bite sized, but this is the shitty
pun intended language we have.
Mm hmm.
To which Peter responded, you fuck you, Sean.
Yep. Well, hey, welcome to end of season.
I don't know this season.
Two part one. Yeah.
The round of 32, the one that we didn't give a good name to the dirty spew.
There you go.
Also, yeah, basically, we're at our two year anniversary.
So congrats to that.
Yeah. What's the two?
What's the second year anniversary?
Weather.
Each year.
It's I'll be right back, guys.
One second.
There is low key excellent film
Speed Racer, the Wachowski Speed Racer.
I still haven't seen it.
It's a lot of fun.
But Racer X is full like tip to toe leather body suit.
And I don't know if they just have him, Mike, or if the boom
Mike's way too close, but whenever he moves, it's
we are. I'm sure they did that on purpose.
Yeah. Sound guy.
I mean, they can edit that stuff out.
They did not. Yeah. Perfect.
I like that somebody probably had to do like actual mic recording
for that suit in a soundstage somewhere.
That makes me happy.
Who was I talking to the other day about like the art of Foley?
I was talking to someone about like Foley looking how much fun that must be.
If it was you hit us up on Twitter.
Yeah. Fucking let me know, because my fucking brain's going in.
This is going to annoy me.
We're crushing this episode so far.
That's nice. A little dip your toes in warm.
Oh, yeah.
You're the only one with an agenda for this.
I just brought alcohol and cupcakes.
Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty good, pretty good bring.
I provided the house.
Welcome back to Caged Magic.
Go on around about what we need.
Nicholas Cage.
I'm your host, Sean.
You're with my co-host, Nick and Nick and our producer.
Peter. Hello.
I like that this is the sexy episode.
Is it? I was going for more depressed.
Well, it could be that is actually the sexiest thing you've ever done.
Fucking you know what?
Can we get my ex wife on this podcast again?
They will probably agree with you.
You know. Yeah.
So speaking of depressing stats,
we have watched now seven days, 20 hours and 30 minutes of Nick Cage movies.
I want this final number on my fucking tombstone.
Yeah. Just that should be your tattoo.
We also have now.
Fucking maybe. Yeah.
I just put the final number.
There you go.
We also have now produced two days, five hours and 11 minutes of content.
That's less than counting than how much Nick Cage we've watched.
It is less impressive, but it's still a large amount of time
that we have spent doing this.
Oh, God, there's a metric for how much time we spend together.
Practically a minimum.
I have more because I look at your faces a lot, too.
That's a treat for you, though.
Did you bring your wig?
I'm going to say yes. Good.
Did you bring your gavel?
Yes. Excellent.
Everything is going to plan.
So we are wrapping up
our second round of 32 watches.
So our second time around with most of these films, half these films,
because that's how brackets work.
Yeah. Uh huh.
What did you think of this round, Nick?
I you know, I this one had like some slow points
because there were just some wieners that got into the winners.
But we'll get into that.
I was looking at the list today and I'm like, oh, man.
Actually, we could start. Let's do wieners and winners.
OK.
Um, you know, I still am not a huge fan
of mom and dad.
That's a wiener to me.
Totally not even like a cool hot dog wiener.
No, that one.
Now, yeah, that one's like rolled out of the bag onto like the floor
and like the dog got it.
Yeah.
A little bit of hair before it went on the rollers.
Cruells.
So it baked in.
Yeah. OK. I mean, that's a fair one.
I think one that's kind of a wiener for me, as much as I like
to find interesting aspects to it is Peggy Sue got married.
Like I just I can't get into that movie that much.
Yeah, it's I mean, it's fine.
It's fine if you're just going to watch a romantic comedy,
but a romantic comedy with Nicolas Cage in it is not.
The best, though.
Rosie Perez is fine.
She's you're thinking of a different movie.
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm going to be.
Yeah. Oh, man. Fuck that movie.
You can also call it a wiener if you want.
It's a wiener. It didn't make it this far, though, did it?
It made it. Yeah. I made it this far.
Yeah. It's lost to Army of One.
Oh, thank God.
Hey, let's talk about a winner for a second.
Man is the fucking love army of one underdog story right there.
It's going to keep going.
An underdog at this.
I mean, it is technically our only remaining 16 seed, but
I forgot when that it was a 16.
Yeah, it's a it fucking rules.
I love that movie. It's so stupid.
I was going to say in terms of the wiener category,
the one matchup that I'm just like, this is
there's a lot of stuff to like not be excited about here.
Eight millimeter versus Captain Kareli.
That episode turned out pretty well.
It's a great episode.
But that is like I was looking like, how did these two movies get through?
And then I looked at what they went up against originally,
which was Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, New Orleans and Lord of War.
Yeah, which makes sense.
Are much worse films.
I like eight millimeter.
I'm going to stick to that one.
Oh, I still I'm not saying I don't like it.
I like it. It's just of everything we've seen.
I'm like, this is this is an odd one to go back to time and again.
Oh, I was wrong.
There's one more 16 seed that made it through with her man.
Yeah, I was going to say, how did that escape the bottom of the tier?
That is that is a that is a healthy wiener.
That is a winner.
Yeah, right. That's a wiener that I want.
Yeah, I'm I'm totally OK with fully engaging with that wiener.
But controversially, I'm still going to say I'm not super into
National Treasure.
It's not that controversial.
It's a long movie.
I think it's a fun movie, but I'm with you.
It's it's I'm still thinking Primal
Primal. I love Primal.
I watch Primal.
I mean, at some point, I have to actually rewatch that, but I just don't.
And watch it at normal speed like a fucking person.
First time. Yeah, do it again.
No, it'll be better.
I think it might actually be better to speed.
Yeah, no, I've got it on Blu Ray and you can watch it with me.
OK, that's like, watch it with just as good as two times speed.
I was looking at the match up with that National Treasure
because that's in the next round because that went up against the rock.
And I still stand by that National Treasure, the better Nicholas Cage film.
Yeah, I hate to agree.
Like it on principle, but National Treasure goes up against Red Rock West next.
So from.
Yeah, yeah.
Not to call our shots too far in advance, but sorry, National Treasure.
I guess that all depends on how the episode shakes out.
That's a very good point.
We may be swayed.
Yeah.
Any other winners that really stood out?
I don't have the list.
I was a wiener for sure.
I still have like fondness for that movie.
It's stupid. They slag gold.
Whatever. Yeah. Oh, that's so weird.
I love like how did he get that weird
like plasma torch on a like Hallberg?
Yeah, I don't know.
He's a thief. I've seen those before on on Mythbusters.
You can just find him like easily in an hour.
People. OK, people generally lock those things up.
And yeah, you can say he's a thief again, but.
Like you can't.
They're not just out.
Like I couldn't walk onto any construction site and find a plasma torch.
But thief.
So what?
He's got a yellow pages for where to steal things.
That's how thieves work, right?
You should know.
I'm not going to give up all of our secrets to the thief.
I'm not going to give up all of our secrets to this podcast.
Having to having to do a another rewatch of Kiss of Death
because of the stolen episode upsets me. Yeah.
I enjoyed that movie the first time I watched it because it was a weird little thing,
like a weird little eccentricity in his career.
But the more I watch it, the more I hate it.
I think one thing that stood out for me from season one, which was the round of 64.
It was all so random.
Like we watched shit that we would have never watched.
You know, there's Prisoners of the Ghostland, weird shit
that just like would never have crossed our paths.
And with the round of 32, like we didn't get that same experience.
It was the same shit again.
And there was like definitely a period at the beginning for me
where I was surly about watching these again and being like, right.
The Ghost Rider episodes. Correct.
It's been a vendetta still slaps. It does. I agree.
And unfortunately, all Ghost Riders have been eliminated. Yeah. Yeah.
I was really hoping for a Ghost Rider versus Face Off and Con Air was
those were hard that they were never going to get past there.
Yeah, no. And now Face Off goes up against Con Air,
which will be our first actual episode of the Slick Steen. Yeah.
Peter, why don't you tell us about what's going to happen in
the next the Slick Steen?
We've we've pretty traditionally had just us watching
or with a guest this last season or the beginning of the season.
We had a guest for every episode, which was awesome.
We're going to do two guests per episode, but it will not be contentious
head to head debate with them talking with each other.
They will each sort of have their horse
that they're backing of the two movies and fight for it
and try and kind of convince Nick and Sean, which movie is better.
Is this because we're too cheap to buy a fifth microphone?
Yes. Nice. So, yeah, it'll be it'll be interesting.
I think it'll be a little bit deeper dive on people who really have
feelings and thoughts about a specific movie
and then hopefully getting really to think about it in a different light.
Because otherwise, we were just watching these movies
again and again and again and again and going, yeah, Wicker Man.
What was in that fucking bag? Was it a shark?
I just want to know. I forgot about the shark bag.
I do want to know what was the big guy all about?
I don't know. I mean, was it sexy?
It was probably sexy.
He just needs to feel something.
It's bee stings.
Oh, man. It's studded for her pleasure.
Gross. So, yeah, that's the general idea.
We're going to see if it works. Hopefully, it is a fun time.
You're going to get eight episodes of it, so let's hope it works.
Yeah, that's that's the beauty of this listeners.
The further we get, the less of it there is.
That's true. We are actually amazing people.
Amazingly enough, whittling it down and we have 15 episodes to go,
not counting a couple bonus episodes that are going to come out.
We've got USS Indianapolis
Men of Courage that we watched on a lark with my neighbor
who has a shark and whiskey semi annual, semi annual, biannual.
I always fuck it up event.
And we'll be reviewing Long Legs here in the next two weeks or so.
And at some point, the surfer.
Oh, yeah. Excited for that one, too.
That's got a really good reception at Cairns.
Can. Yeah. Yeah. OK.
Cairns is a different thing.
That's the adult film festival.
Oh, nice.
Are there any other matchups coming up that you're looking at?
You're like, that's going to be a hard one.
Hard and Joe.
Yeah, hard in a like, this is difficult to watch.
Or hard to dislike, hard to decide.
Like you look at that and you just want both to go forward.
Because for me.
Vampires Kissing Mandy.
That's a tough.
There's going to be a couple that are like definitely good movies
that I have already formed opinions on and that I'm
kind of already biased about.
Yeah, it's almost inevitable at this point, though.
In terms of a matchup, that's just going to be a fucking hard week.
Joe versus leaving Las Vegas.
Yeah, it's going to be some sad boys.
There will be a sad one.
Did we decide if we're going to try and watch these together,
if we can or not?
I mean, we save that for the elite or the Master Eight.
We definitely made that assertion about this round
and we watched like two movies together.
Yeah. So I've been down to do more watching together.
We could try like three.
Yeah, I mean, that's most of it at that point.
I guess, yeah.
Percentage wise, I mean, we're doing pretty well.
So like Red Rock West and Army of One are like the two
standout like surprises for me.
I think Joe fits in that for me to as a movie that I didn't know much about
or anything, certainly never heard of was surprised by how much I liked it
and thought it was a really great flick.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Like I knew of Joe, but I hadn't seen it.
God, Captain Carly's mandolin.
Fuck. So glad that's gone. Yeah.
All right. No, there are no more Italians in our bracket, right?
No, I don't think so. Good.
What about our Patreon?
Mm hmm. If you're Italian, you have to tell us.
Yeah. And we'll charge you double.
You're not supposed to tell them that.
We'll just do it.
Nobody looks at their credit card statements. True.
You can't cancel us. Yeah, exactly.
Have you been to hump lately?
I feel like we've talked about this probably on the podcast before.
Yeah, I still like hump. I'm pro hump. Yeah.
I think that the big thing is that at one point it was really amateur
and it was like truly local.
And I think that it's become more national
and there's higher production values, which isn't a bad thing,
but it's lost a little bit of the like voyeuristic.
Yeah. Pleasure. Exactly. Right.
Like like you can watch normal porn at home. Yeah.
But going to a theater
and watching somebody from the next neighborhood over.
Right. There's a little different angle to that, right?
Mm hmm. Is that angle like between the legs right behind the balls?
Usually, yeah. Classic.
Neither of you are in the group chat with
that we recently talked about the
the guy casting to the TV at the Ale House.
Are you? No. Oh, yeah.
So no. Wait, what?
So one of our friends was at the Ale House and some like,
I don't know, late age Gen X or
just casted from his phone up to the TV.
But he casted like his like photo roll, his camera roll.
And so for just enough time for people to see up
on the TV was like shirtless photos of him at the gym.
Like nice, like just flabby body and all.
And then also presumably a bunch of photos of his girlfriend
exposing his like fetish of like schoolgirl shit.
Why was it? Why was this like, you just not knowing what he's doing?
Is this just him trying to do a goof?
Whatever it truly was, he tried to cover by saying
that he was just exposing the flaw in their TV security.
So this is not having just passed.
This is his kink. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.
Yeah, that actually makes more sense.
There's some sort of exhibitionism thing going on.
Humiliation kink. Yeah.
I fucking hate people.
I do too, but you know what?
That's the best part about having them around.
You get to see all the contemptible shit that they do. Yeah.
Make up stories for why they do it.
Tell them on your Nick Cage podcast. Yeah. Exactly.
I love to low key shame this guy.
I'm hoping that like through some wild chain of events,
his buddy that was with him is somehow hears about this podcast
and then is like, dude, dude, you got called out.
They're talking about you. They're slandering your good name.
No, it's just going to make him cum more.
He loves that shit.
No one tell that guy about this podcast.
Unless he really likes Nick Cage
because we needed one more listen this month.
Yeah. Or you have a tarp ready.
If you've got a tarp.
Strong. Yeah.
I'll show you the photo home later. OK.
Oh, nice. We'll put it on the Patreon.
I show it now. Let's get a good let's get a reaction.
Maybe we'll know this guy. OK, hold on.
I mean, yeah, you guys eat at this place.
You might know.
I do totally recognize that guy.
I know that. I mean, I don't know him, but I recognize him too.
Oh, man. Oh, I was just testing your television security.
Oh, I saw that guy today.
Anyone can put up a picture.
Probably has come stinky fingers.
Ew.
I don't like this game anymore.
No, I love it.
All right. What's another reason I don't go to that place?
What? Now? Now it's a reason.
Fuck you.
What's a matchup this next round that you guys are really looking forward to?
I'm really looking forward to Joe.
No.
I mean, I'm looking forward to watching Joe, but yeah,
I'm looking forward to watching Army of One and Moonstruck.
Moonstruck. Yeah.
That is just two movies that are going to be fun.
And I'm going to be walking around saying shit like
my hair, my bride.
I'll be at work doing it.
I'll be bugging telling people about chicken wings and me
buying toilets made by people who don't have big American dumps.
Yeah, that's true.
It's never going to they don't they don't need a knife.
Yeah. Yeah.
Callback. Nice. Yeah.
I'm looking forward to Wicker Man versus Wild at Heart,
because that's just going to be unhinged.
Yeah, that is going to be a really weird one.
Another one that I'm kind of happy about.
It's really just because I forgot how much I love Raising Arizona,
but it comes up in my brain a lot now.
I just haven't watched it since the last time.
And I'm like excited to watch that in Wicker Man or not Wicker Man.
That man, the weather man.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. This comedy.
There's it's a wide it's a wide gap in what his comedies are.
Yeah, he's trapped in paradise.
Got great, obviously depth.
Honeymoon in Vegas.
Amazing. I forgot about Honeymoon.
I think about skydiving Elvis's all the time now.
And that guy with the big fucking teeth was his name, like Roy Montana or something.
Just that that's a movie of just fully deplorable people.
Like I didn't want anyone in that movie to be happy.
Yeah, they all kind of suck shit in there.
Except for Mr. Miyagi.
Oh, he's cool. Yeah.
I mean, he's kind of a dick.
Oh, what about the chieftain?
Oh, no, the chieftain's cool.
But Ray Romano's dad.
Yeah, just in South Pacific.
Is it Henry Boyle?
Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle. Yeah.
Awesome. That was fantastic.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I'm excited to watch that movie again.
I mean, that's on your own time.
Oh, yeah, of course. That's fine.
You own it. Yeah.
I actually think the only other one that I'm like super, super jazzed
to watch again is the Vampire's Kiss Mandy matchup.
Yeah. I mean, I'm coming around to Mandy.
I appreciate it for what it is more.
So I think watching it a third time and having like more conversation
about it is going to be pretty cool. Yeah.
And I fucking will go to the mat for Vampire's Kiss.
That movie rules.
That's for me.
That I think that's the hardest one, because I love both those movies
for very different reasons. Yeah.
You can watch Mandy over my place and we'll put on all the like
drug lights and. Hell, yeah.
Let's do it. Yeah.
I want biker drugs. Yeah.
I want the goop. Weird Satan acid.
Give me the weird gray Vaseline.
We might need a palate cleanser after that week.
Maybe we'll just watch some John dies in the end.
Yeah, there you go.
It's similar vibe, but like.
More fun. At this point,
I don't think I can watch the core, otherwise the bits over.
Oh, you'll still love it.
Doesn't matter. You can pretend that you didn't watch it.
Yeah, it helps you.
Well, you'll end up just wanting to watch it again.
You'll be like, damn, you know, we should watch the core.
Yeah. Come back for our final episode where we just talk about the core.
It's got the toot in it. He's got a wig. It's great.
Is it a wig or a to pay?
Mm hmm. Toot pay.
Hmm. That's actually a good question.
I can't remember if it's one of those things where it like comes off at one point.
I think it's a wig. Yeah. OK.
What's the difference between a wig and a to pay?
I mean, a to pay is just like a portion of a wig. Right.
Yeah. Kind of like a mercantil, but just for the top of your head.
Yeah. For the top of your dome.
You ever see just a really bad, bad wig out in the wild?
I thought you were going to say mercantil in the wild.
It's like not often.
I'm going to bring that back. American. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to start shaving because of the crabs and such.
Well, that's good.
And then I'll start wearing a wig above my dick.
How did they attach it? Spirit come.
Yeah, I imagine it's some kind of like tree sap.
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
That's all spirit.
It's something something nice to put your genitals. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, that eliminates the need for continued shaving.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect.
Just rip. That could be my thing, too.
I don't even know. Maybe just rip my market off.
Like on the count of three, I'm about to bust.
I'm about to bust the only way you bust, though, is at the.
Yeah, the house for sure.
So we're just going to move that on.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's not a ton left to say, I don't think.
We've got great guests coming up, you know, as usual,
we kind of have peppered in people that we know the usual idiots.
Yeah, usual idiots.
We've got people that are cage adjacent.
We've got new people.
OK, on the count of three,
name the guests you're most excited to have back on one, two, three.
All of them safe.
Nice play.
We did not participate.
You guys are.
I was just going to straight up say Darrell.
Yeah.
For some reason, I can only think of John because I just talked to John about this.
John's great.
Chris Coffle. That'll be fun.
Yeah, he's coming back.
Brian Kim McCormick's coming back.
Oh, great. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
He was great.
Yeah. Shea's coming back for our first matchup, actually.
Yeah, she's going to be fighting hard for Conair, which is fuck.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Who is our first matchup lineup?
So we've got face off with Gary and rocks and Conair with Shea.
Oh, that's a that's a good matchup.
Yeah, that'll be fun.
That'll be in one take.
Yeah, perfect.
Never fucked that up once.
Prove me wrong.
One, two, three, all of them.
We do still need somebody for
it looks like
eight millimeter.
No, wait, hang on.
What's Freeman doing?
No, Brian Kim McCormick's doing that.
We need someone for.
Moonstruck.
No, that's not right either.
This is terrible audio.
No, that's Lauren Freeman.
That'll be fun.
Lauren and Freeman.
No, no, I have a friend, Lauren Freeman.
She's a actor, composer.
That's something you need to clear with us before you start saying.
Very confusing for us.
Like that is a fucking wild matchup, Lauren and Freeman.
Yeah.
Two people who are weird.
Yeah, that would be a strange one.
We do still need somebody for Joe.
So if you're listening and you're great at talking about Nick Cage movies
and you want to give us more money, you want to watch a bummer movie
that's fantastic and then talk about it in a hardcore way.
Let us know.
Send us money and let us know.
Yeah, all applications will be considered by financial contribution.
Yeah, it's perfect. It's the best system.
Works for the Supreme Court.
Mm hmm.
Those are gratuities.
Yeah, right.
Yeah. You guys have any other thoughts, feelings about the last little leg of this?
Can't believe it's been two years.
Yeah, I can't believe we haven't missed a release date.
I can't believe Primal's not in the bracket anymore.
I can.
All right. If you could swap one movie in
and you have to punt one to what would you put in just a single movie?
So in your case, I assume I would get rid of it.
Doesn't have to be in the same bracket.
Don't worry about that.
I'm just trying to see like just in the just pick a movie to get rid of altogether.
I would get rid of eight millimeter and I would put in flesh Gordon.
It doesn't have Nicholas Cage in it, but it is a sexy reboot of Flash Gordon.
And there's a deadly orgasm ray that's being shot all over this planet.
And it's causing like planes to crash because orgies are breaking out.
And then there's these robots with giant drill penises.
You should have said better parameters.
Yeah. So how about you answer the question for real?
I would get rid of eight millimeter and replace it with adaptation.
OK, that's fair.
It's a shame adaptation got knocked out so early.
Just the father was just going up against a heavy hitter.
It was. I mean, I'm glad I've come around on Army of One
and I'm glad it's still in the Bracken House.
But just eight adaptations. Such a good movie.
I would scratch eight millimeter and I would put in Valley Girl.
I love that movie.
So stupid, so fun, so weird, so early 80s.
Nick Cage, bad teeth. Charming.
Weird chest hair. Fantastic.
It's got that song.
Yeah. Fucking eaten by the monster of love.
Hell, yeah, man.
It's going to be my head all night.
Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah.
Wait, is it too late to vote for the guinea pig movie?
Yes. It's always too late for G4.
But that boom boom pow.
No, the children went to bed 20 minutes ago.
We're not doing that anymore.
Crudes one in.
Oh, yeah. Let's watch Crudes one.
Let's do it right now.
If we watch Crudes one, we also have to watch
flesh Gordon afterwards.
Yeah, good.
Do you watch flesh Gordon after or before?
I think before.
No, after.
No, I would do it before it,
because then I need a refractory period.
So Crudes works nicely.
It's like no matter what, we're on a list if we do this.
I feel like I would have checked out, though.
Like if I was watching.
Oh, once you. Crudes afterwards.
Yeah, I'd be like, well, this is this is just crass.
What's one franchise,
one movie franchise or movie you wish Nick Cage was a first thing
that popped into my mind was speed.
And I think speed three or four or whatever with Nicholas Cage
is the villain would be super cool.
That's what's doing a lot of villain stuff.
What do they got to keep going fast?
What's fast these days?
Women? Yeah, fast and loose. Yeah.
It could be like the speed and Mission Impossible crossover.
Tom Cruise is in a jet and he has to keep.
Oh, but wait, what about Keanu?
He wasn't in the second one, right?
No. Willem Dafoe was, though.
He was a bad guy.
Was he? Yeah.
Wow. Yeah.
Oh, maybe RoboCop, too, though.
Oh, all right.
But you have to bring back the original cast.
Peter Weller. Yeah.
Yeah. Robo on Oreo. Yeah.
Wait, who would cage be then?
Probably some like Super Detroit, like politician.
It was always about the Super Detroit politicians.
True enough. What would I want to cage in?
I want him to replace a Rick Moranis and Ghostbusters.
Oh, you know what he would be? Sorry.
I just came back to this in the RoboCop world.
Nicholas Cage's villain would be a union boss
because in the hyper capitalist, like cyberpunk future of RoboCop,
unions would be a terrible thing.
So they would weaponize the police against him, including Robert Copman.
I do love Robert Copman.
Yeah. I want this almost as much as I want human centipede for.
Well, you're making that sound.
He can be in that, too.
I won't. I won't bring him down to my level.
All right. That's fair. That's respectable.
Peter, I can't think of anything right now.
Do the bit.
I want him to be a reboot of Dragonheart.
Who has the night or the dragon?
The dragon, obviously.
Oh, yeah. No, both.
I take it back.
Doing a spooky dragon voice for the dragon.
Yeah. And then the normal night voice.
Yeah. He needs to do is he needs to do is a Boston cop.
Boston cop for the dragon.
Either one. Boston cop for the night.
Yeah. Boston cop for the night and New Orleans guy for the dragon.
That's good. Yeah.
That's really fucking good.
Yeah, I think we fucking nailed it.
There we go. So RoboCop, Dragonheart and.
So what did you say?
I don't remember.
Oh, Ghostbusters. He plays.
He takes he plays a Louis Tully in Ghostbusters.
Man. All right.
Join us for our next podcast where we watch all of Will Sasso's filmography.
Well, no, I like dumb shit.
I'm not doing that.
How? OK, just what's a Will Sasso?
Is that a Paul Blart?
How many? You're close.
How many films?
It was his buddy that gets hit in the shoulder with.
Not including not including television.
How many films? Oh, yeah.
Sasso's in. 17.
Wait, how many films is Will Sasso in?
Not yeah, not including television.
How much do you think Will Sasso's got on the IMDB?
Uh, 15 Sasso flicks, zero leading roles.
He's got 143 credits.
Oh, more than 25 feature films, including Best in Show.
I didn't know he was in Best in Show.
What the fuck was he in Best in Show?
I don't know.
Well, he's been in more than I would have given him credit for.
That's fair.
But less than 10 more than I.
He has credit for.
So I was not terribly far off.
He had an important role in Happy Gilmore as mover
and in Malicious as fat guy answering phone.
Love it.
Well, I don't think we have to worry about Will Sasso coming at us.
No, sorry, Sasso.
But if you want, you know, we've got an opening on Joe.
If you'd like to come talk to us about Joe.
That might get us a few lessons.
Oh, he was also in the weird like Doctor Who American pilot
as like a nurse.
They tried to they Americanize everything in BBC.
Yeah, yeah, no, they tried.
They did an American pilot for Doctor Who.
It's where the eighth doctor, Paul McGann, is from.
Like, it's his one time in that role,
except for something for the 50th anniversary special and Jodie's end.
But either way, it's shockingly not terrible.
It's got Eric Roberts as the villain.
Who's that? Julia Roberts, brother, who also has the most fucking
acting credits to his name and feature film credits to his name.
I just learned. Does he have a long face, too?
Yes. Yeah, he does.
They look like siblings. You. Yeah.
Do you think they were kiss?
Yes. There's no one else.
Well, that's how they get their powers, man.
He does have a weird face. He's a pretty weird looking.
He has like a really wide chin.
He was also in The Dark Knight. Oh, OK.
Yeah, he was the bank manager. Yeah.
You all know him. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he has 821 acting credits to his name.
What the fuck?
How many of them are fat guy fingering butthole?
Eight hundred.
Wow. I mean, the odds are good that it's at least one.
At least one. Yeah. Well, then that's the franchise.
I'm certain Nicholas Cage.
Nicholas Cage.
Nothing to do with the butthole.
No, no.
The kids doesn't seem like a man.
I take it back. What if we make fun of it?
But it's actually like a very like touching story about prostate cancer.
Like he's the doctor who finds and cures prostate cancer.
But there's only one way he can cure it.
He's got the touch.
He's got the power.
He's got the minus touch for your butthole.
He's he's he looks like ET all grown up.
Yeah, Rachel, don't listen to this episode.
Now I'm just thinking.
Out.
Turn your head and cough.
You can find us on social media, Cage underscore match underscore pod.
If you feel like supporting us, we are on Patreon Cage Match
and special thanks to our sparkle buddies Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico,
Matt, Adam and Bill and to our cage dancers, Ira, John, Freeman, Lance and Nathan.
I feel the need to point out to our supporters and no takes these backsies.
You're in it now. Yeah.
Never cancel.
I don't care about your financial situations.
Think about us suffering here.
Peter has a baby. Yeah.
Think of me. Oh, look at Mr. Moneybags.
Two babies.
Three, if you count me. Yeah, there you go.
Bye bye.
There we go.
Boof. That was a very tough one.
Yeah, that took some effort.
Some elbow grease.
Hmm. Greasy elbow.
Weeniswa.
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Greasy elbow. Weeniswa.
You. I mean, necessary, but.
I don't like it.
I'm going to start calling you soy boy.
Soy boy.
Now it has a different connotation, I think.
I don't know.
I think I think it's like a woke snowflake.
Fuck. Cuck.
I mean, yeah, not super wrong.
Is it like an opposite twink
or like, yeah, like
just an Asian specific twink?
I don't know.
That's kind of like that.
Yeah. Go get my soy boy.
Yeah. Me and my soy boys be rolling in hard.
Got an American twink and a soy boy.
We got that blue chew subscription.
What's blue chew?
I don't know, but I keep getting.
I mean, I can.
I can infer. I keep getting targeted ads.
It's the boner pill. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I guess a chewable one.
For people who struggle to swallow.