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Oh, God. Oh, my God.

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One of these days, I'll give you an episode where you can just say whatever you want.

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It'll just be a talk about hot dogs.

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That's awesome. Yeah, I almost got a hot dog tattoo.

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Fuck, yeah.

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I was just up at the punk rock flea market and I was just talking to the tattoo artist lady there

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and she was just doing like flash shit and she didn't have any hot dog ones.

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But I talked to her and I almost got and I'm working on this now for later

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because I've expanded it since this morning last night.

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But I'm going to get a hot dog like an anthropomorphic hot dog.

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Maybe Sean will draw this out for me, like with a ketchup bottle or like

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kind of just squeezing it out.

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So like arcs out.

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But then there will be a second hot dog in front of it just getting splattered on the chest.

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I'll put that right here on this bicep.

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And then over on this one, I'm going to get a third hot dog

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who just looks horrified at the situation.

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So when I give them one of these, it's just like a sex show.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah, OK.

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Oh, yeah, that paper's got to go.

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I know I'm getting it off like the cheese and everything.

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Make sure to eat directly into the microphone.

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I will. I tipped it up so that way you wouldn't have to hear it.

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I'm just not going to talk for like six minutes.

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I'm just muting you for a little bit.

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We've had that option the whole time.

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Yes, we have this power.

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Does he always make it this clear in advance when you're going to want to mute him?

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No. No.

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Yeah. Bummer.

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I get some cues every once in a while. I'm like,

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oh, yeah.

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All right. So USS Indianapolis, colon, men of courage.

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Speaking of colons, welcome back to Cage Match, colon around about

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meeting Nicolas Cage.

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Nick's muted. He can't complain. Good enough.

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I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host.

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Nick, I'm Nick and our producer, Peter. Hello.

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You can meet him again. That's true.

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And our special guest this week.

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Welcome, Aaron. Hi, Aaron.

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Aaron, how do we know you?

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Well, I do live next door to Peter,

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but more importantly, he came to an event I run periodically called Shark and Whiskey

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Night, which made him believe I just might have something to offer

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on a podcast about Nicolas Cage and a lot of sharks.

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Yeah, this is his only shark related movie, as far as I know.

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I mean, he has a lot of back catalog that we haven't gone through,

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but it seems like this is the only time that he would have encountered a shark.

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Has he been to an aquarium in any other film we've seen?

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I mean, it seems like something that would have been in stolen, but no, he didn't.

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Thanks for unmuting me. You're welcome.

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You're back in action. Now eat that sandwich right on mic.

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Mm hmm. Describe it for us.

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It's a sausage, egg and cheese on an everything bagel

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purchased from the bagel shop next to my house.

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There's too many things on a bagel.

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But it's three. That's not everything.

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Yeah. Now you're muted, Sean.

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Yeah, fuck off, dude.

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Words have meaning.

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OK, so USS Indianapolis, Men of Courage.

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I actually had not even realized this was a movie that he was in,

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let alone anything about it.

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I'm sure I've seen the cover for this film without paying attention

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to like it too closely and thought it was Battleship.

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Oh, remember Battleship? Yeah, that was weird.

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That is weird that they made a movie out of that with it has to do with aliens.

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Strange. Like, why not just make Tetris at this point?

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Didn't they do that? Aren't they doing that?

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I'm sure at some point they will. Yeah.

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I just can't wait for Operation.

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Oh, yeah. Some guys got a bomb or something inside of him and

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one on a raves has to like, yeah, his son, it's his funny.

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Bones explode. Yeah.

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Bury the placenta at the end. That's how it always goes.

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Yeah. And then a tree grows.

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So wait, did you bury a tree seed with it?

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No, no. Apparently,

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doing a placental burial is like not always the best for trees.

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So you're supposed to let them sort of enrich the soil.

83
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Like for what happens if you plant a tree with it, does it like grow

84
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like extra limbs?

85
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Has it become this like Lovecraftian whore? Absolutely.

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And it calls it a tree seed.

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Absolutely. And it calls everyone daddy.

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Is it just sort of like a full metal alchemist situation?

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Absolutely. It's that just like homunculus goop person.

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And plant.

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Homunculus goop is my next dnd character.

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It's a good character name.

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Homunculus goop is like your sex life.

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You.

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So Aaron.

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I wish I didn't laugh.

97
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I'm going to cry now.

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I'm glad you did it.

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It took the sting out of the out of my words.

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Yeah.

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No, I enjoy a good burn.

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You had seen this movie before, correct, Aaron?

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I had not.

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Oh, I thought you had.

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No. In fact, when movies like this come up, as they do,

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when you consider it your purview to pay attention to shark movie releases,

107
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when you realize it's based on a true story, you pretty much immediately

108
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throw it out and say, this is not the right movie.

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For shark and Whiskey Night, there's a kind of self-seriousness

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that we're not really going for.

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Yeah, there's not.

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I assume there's not enough like what has man or rot in these films

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to justify like the shark attacks.

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Correct.

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Now the level of CGI though is probably about on par with many of the

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ilk of shark and Whiskey Night.

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Yeah, I would say it's pretty near the median in that regard.

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Aside from some of the sea movies that just like the

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1995, you know, Kid Pigs graphics.

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Sure.

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Okay, we keep throwing around the word shark and Whiskey Night with no context.

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I mean, there's context there, but you want to explain this a little more?

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Give us a little more detail.

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I do like the idea that everyone just has to imagine what that means.

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But yeah, the gist is really just an event that started out as a group of

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friends watching shark movies, obviously quite bad shark movies

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and making and drinking whiskey drinks.

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And it managed to take on a bit of a life of its own.

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We've had maybe 35 or so.

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If you're watching, you know,

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35 or so events that now we rent out a theater and put together a little

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production for folks.

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And one of the things that brings in new people and helps them

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become a part of it is that we run shark trope bingo in which we

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help draw attention to an audience engagement with the fact these movies

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tend to hit on some familiar themes.

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So this shark bingo card that I've got here, that's not specific to this

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movie. It actually existed without this movie.

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It existed independent of this movie.

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It sometimes gets a one or two category changeover, but of the 24 categories,

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you know, 22 or so remain constant from movie to movie and reliably generate

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bingos at the type of movies we choose to screen.

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This movie could be a different story.

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I have some questions about the card.

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What is cream?

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Oh, there's also the bingo key.

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That's the other image.

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Yeah, yeah, cream is a it's a Wu Tang.

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So casuals everything around me.

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Yeah, you may be familiar with the trope that sometimes greedy developers,

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oil drillers, even people running a major local tourism event

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don't want the flow of money to stop and are willing to expose people to shark

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related danger.

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Ah, like keeping the the beach open.

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Gotcha. Much so.

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Um, OK, explain breasts to me.

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No, slowly.

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Yes, sensually often a precursor to the cream.

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So, OK, I got a question.

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If you could take a non shark movie and add a shark into it for maximum effect,

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maximum shark and whiskey, what where would you put the shark?

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Like one shark where?

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That's great.

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That's a really great question that I don't have a great answer ready for.

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So I'm going to ask for a little help from the hosts here,

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which is to say for the event, the ideal thing would be to take a shark

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and put it into a movie that famously features whiskey.

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Can anyone help me with a piece of cinema that famously features?

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Lost in Translation.

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Leaving Las Vegas.

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Leaving Las Vegas is also a good choice.

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Living Las Vegas is a great choice for this podcast.

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I actually yeah, I would say Lost in Translation is both like a

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college aged favorite film of mine and one that I do still strongly

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associate with Suntory Whiskey.

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Yeah, so yeah, I don't think I want to be in charge of choosing

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where the shark goes into Lost in Translation, but I do want it to be there.

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Just somewhere in the bed.

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Sure.

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Maybe in the karaoke room.

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Yeah, just just a shark doing karaoke.

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I say we just replace Scarlett Johansson with the shark.

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What do you think she whispered to him at the end?

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I'm a shark.

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I was always a shark.

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I would go color out of space and I'd put the shark in the well.

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Oh, yeah.

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And then just at the very end, for some reason, a shark eats

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the boy and then disappears.

190
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Good, good shark involvement.

191
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I would say Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

192
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It's just one of the Oompa Loompas.

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Mm hmm. But where's the whiskey?

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Oh, I mean, fucking Willy Wonka's used on some sauce.

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And for sure, I was thinking about this on the way over.

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And if I had to do a non whiskey movie, I think I would do that.

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What's it called? Like 128 days late.

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One hundred and twenty eight days or hours.

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I don't know the one where twenty eight years later.

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No, the one with the rock climber is stuck.

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So just put the shark.

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Just put the shark under him.

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Added element of danger.

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The extra danger.

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Now it's like, do I get my arm free and fall into the shark or do I sit here and.

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Oh, so he's like, run and hanging.

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Yeah. No, it's that true story.

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Like, no, no, I remember that part, but he was like sitting on the ground and stuck.

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Well, I mean, he could be stuck in any manner.

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Where is our movie now?

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Yeah, right.

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The fact that it's that hard choice between the two.

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Yeah. I don't know if you're aware that in the last two weeks or so,

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Donald Trump at one of his rallies had a nice rambling aside about sharks.

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And he basically just told the story that made no sense,

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but no context about how because of new electric green washed boat stuff,

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you might have to choose between getting eaten by a shark and getting electrocuted.

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You have an electric boat goes down.

219
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Yeah. Stay in the boat and get electric.

220
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And he's like, which one?

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Which one would you do?

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Would you get eaten by the shark or electrocuted?

223
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I guess I would just turn my boat off.

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Also, and your thing about James Franco gets pinned under a rock.

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I'm rooting for the shark.

226
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:30,380
Oh, sure. Based on what we know about James Franco now.

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Well, and we know that once he falls in the water, there's danger

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because it would be blood in the water.

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And that's what sharks love.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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As we learned often in USS Indianapolis.

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You know, you think the sharks would have shown up if it weren't for the irony

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of those guys like being freaked out by sharks.

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Yeah, I think that's some love irony.

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Hmm. I mean, it's in the blood.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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I hear any content.

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It was a good one. I like that.

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Keep that in Peter.

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They're all going downhill from here.

241
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You know, I'm keeping it in.

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So before you got here, Nick, we were talking about like

243
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it seems insane to me that there were that many sharks

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00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,100
in the water when the boat goes down like one.

245
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They were just massive torpedo explosions and a giant fucking ship going down.

246
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And all the sharks are just like, let's go see.

247
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Yeah. It is weird that they were kind of pedestrian

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onlookers in this situation.

249
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,360
But I could see like one shark

250
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,300
showing up and then more following.

251
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,460
Like, you know, you get the whole frenzy thing.

252
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:38,360
You get that right.

253
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,560
You know, shark calls his buddies.

254
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,540
Yeah. On a shark phone.

255
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:44,200
Yeah. Known families of sharks, you know.

256
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,800
Should we do sharks use flipper phones?

257
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,900
Jesus.

258
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,200
This is what happens when you get us out of regular records.

259
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,700
I know these are honest. Episodes are always weird.

260
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,960
Should we actually maybe talk about what this movie is?

261
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,060
Yeah. Let's give it a quick rundown.

262
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:02,520
Aaron, as our guest, you get the honor of summarizing.

263
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:07,560
OK, there's an important mission to deliver.

264
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,800
I believe the atomic bombs across the Pacific

265
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,360
are valiant crew on a ship helmed by Nicolas Cage.

266
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,320
Does so. It's all off the record.

267
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,100
Hush, hush. They don't have an escort or sonar.

268
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:25,920
On the way back, they get torpedoed by the Japanese Navy.

269
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,460
Ship goes down. The men go down.

270
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,900
They float around a bunch. There are a lot of sharks.

271
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,300
Some men get eaten.

272
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,220
And then there's 30 minutes in with no sharks.

273
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:37,800
And I just really blacked out for that.

274
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,120
Someone else might have to fill in.

275
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,720
No, that pretty much seems like you pretty much got it.

276
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,520
Yeah. Tom Jane's in there at one point.

277
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,720
Yep. With a really nice mustache.

278
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,400
Tom Jane, famously from shark movie Deep Lucy.

279
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,120
Yeah. Yeah.

280
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,800
LL Cool J co-star Tom Jane, as I like to call him.

281
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,120
So Sean also pointed out that this was produced by Patriot Pictures

282
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,960
and it turns out that there's a lot of things that they produced

283
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,120
that Cage was in, actually.

284
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,600
So it was Lord of War, USS Indianapolis, Men of Courage,

285
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,320
Tokarev or Rage, Prisoners of the Ghostland.

286
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,120
And there was one other one.

287
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,220
But anyway, it doesn't matter.

288
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,520
A lot of shit that they produced for him.

289
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,560
That was a lot of shit.

290
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,720
Yeah. A lot of shit. Right.

291
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,800
I want to shark in Ghostland.

292
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:18,900
That would that be good.

293
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,460
Yeah. No whiskey in there, though.

294
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:21,600
Just a sand shark.

295
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,860
Yeah. Nice.

296
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:26,000
There is a movie Sand Sharks in which the sharks can travel through the sand.

297
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,720
That's good. A lot of people.

298
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,260
They just on the beach tremors.

299
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:31,500
Then that's a great question.

300
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,220
The physics of it were not or metaphysics of it

301
00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:36,520
were not fully explained in this movie, believe it or not.

302
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,260
There was no shark scientist explaining that.

303
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:39,800
Mm hmm.

304
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,800
I was several whiskeys deep, so I cannot confirm or deny.

305
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,720
They should get Stanley Tucci in there.

306
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,160
Absolutely.

307
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,320
Everyone should have Stanley Tucci in there.

308
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,320
He's great.

309
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,420
My experience with shark and Whiskey Knight, I went and we watched the Meg

310
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,900
two, which was fantastic.

311
00:13:56,660 --> 00:14:00,420
But you really have to experience these things to enjoy the bingo,

312
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,160
because it's just people screaming at a screen

313
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,060
any time one of the tropes comes up on their card. Sure.

314
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,060
Yeah. So it's mayhem.

315
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,260
I'm you know, I'm very enthusiastic about screaming at things.

316
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,520
Good. Yeah, you'd fit in.

317
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,660
Inanimate objects, walls, TV.

318
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,620
It's that DiCaprio meme of like pointing at the TV.

319
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:18,720
Yeah. Yeah.

320
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,420
Willing to scream something five times to get a laugh once.

321
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,480
It's worth it. Yeah.

322
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,060
I mean, how many episodes of this have we done?

323
00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:28,520
This will be 70.

324
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,620
Still chasing that first laugh.

325
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,980
Yeah. So we'll get there.

326
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:34,280
I mean, we got our labs.

327
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,280
I make myself laugh.

328
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,520
Yeah. I listen to these things.

329
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,620
I'm like, that's funny passion. Yeah.

330
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:39,780
Good work, me.

331
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,820
So my big beef with this one is it's pretty self-serious overall.

332
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,220
I mean, it's a serious matter.

333
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,360
It's not like a joke movie or anything, but like,

334
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:53,260
it's not a fun cage performance for me because he's just being a stoic

335
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,220
captain of a ship.

336
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:58,180
He gets a little weirdness at the end, but

337
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,860
that's just dehydration and hallucinations.

338
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,820
Oh, I thought you meant when he killed himself. Yeah.

339
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,180
Well, that's wacky, not loopy.

340
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:11,880
Good point. So I mean, I don't know if we mentioned this is based on true events.

341
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,180
And yeah, the whole like final act of this film is

342
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:20,260
Cage's character being scapegoated for the whole thing.

343
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,880
And like, what is the thing court martialed court martialed?

344
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,360
And then he just skips ahead to him like off in himself.

345
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,580
Yeah. We get some mad phone calls in the night

346
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,380
because he has a listed phone number.

347
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,980
It was the fifties.

348
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,220
I don't know if it is or white pages existed.

349
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,020
And there were less people.

350
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,660
They're probably only like seven phones.

351
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,160
Yeah. You just keep trying.

352
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,180
Is it eight? Nope. OK.

353
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,180
Nine. Yeah. Oh, we got him.

354
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:48,980
All right. My main issue with this film is there are too many fucking characters.

355
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,260
Well, and also like the cast is not very good.

356
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:53,460
Now, I mean, this movie didn't have a crazy budget.

357
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,520
Forty million.

358
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,380
It made no money.

359
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:57,080
But like the cast is kind of shitty.

360
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:01,260
You've got Cage and you've got Sizemore on Sizemore and Tom.

361
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,920
Jen before he's any later.

362
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,300
Yeah. Yeah.

363
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:08,100
But like there's a whole subplot of the two friends, one of which

364
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,560
who's in love with this girl, he's been in love with his whole life,

365
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,760
who's like the daughter of a senator.

366
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,360
He's a judge judge.

367
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:18,960
And then his best friend like meets her and they fall in love.

368
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,420
He's going to propose.

369
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:24,320
But then they get into a fight with some other sailors and it doesn't happen.

370
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,060
Honestly, I couldn't tell the two of them apart in any fucking scene.

371
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,560
Oh, one of them skinnier and more cracky.

372
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,620
He's the one who dies.

373
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:35,360
Yeah. Now, I mean, Dantonio, the like Italian meatball from New York.

374
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,060
Yeah. But like as opposed to Bama, a southern boy.

375
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,860
They're also Atlanta.

376
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:43,020
They're also generic that I just and because they keep cutting

377
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:46,200
between so many characters, I just lose track of who anyone is

378
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,960
and none of their stories matter.

379
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,960
So I'm just like, why?

380
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,020
Why is this happening?

381
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,620
This is not what a good ensemble looks like.

382
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:58,720
I mean, their stories matter in terms of giving you perspective

383
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,120
and like making you feel and identify.

384
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,660
Or that's what it should be doing.

385
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:04,400
That's what it should be doing it. But it doesn't.

386
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,800
But if you cut that out,

387
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,060
you just get a ship sinking and sharks and then cut to.

388
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,660
That's what I wanted.

389
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,620
Yeah, I would have been OK with that.

390
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:15,220
I would have been better. That's like a five minute scene.

391
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:19,560
They did do a pretty good Titanic with the guy

392
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,420
falling off the top of the ship as it was sinking.

393
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,560
And then he didn't hit the propeller.

394
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,200
He hit something else.

395
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,220
That was enjoyable.

396
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,620
I like a good callback to that.

397
00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:31,300
No, just like this.

398
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,600
The CG in this film was so rough.

399
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:38,620
Yeah, especially that first dog, that first scene where the Indianapolis

400
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:42,820
is being attacked by kamikazes and just like,

401
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:48,360
oh, this all looks like Xbox 360 era, like cut scene bad.

402
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:52,820
Yeah, those when the suicide torpedoes go, the Kitan.

403
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,120
Yeah, they're really silly.

404
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,600
They it's just a window.

405
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,920
This movie come out 2016.

406
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,560
Whoa. Yeah, dude.

407
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,720
You can't grade on very much of a curve here.

408
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,100
No, it's definitely like early 2000 CG.

409
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,520
Yeah. But then there are moments where it's like it doesn't look terrible.

410
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,420
Sure. When they're like inside the ship and there's no.

411
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,660
It's still.

412
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:18,360
It's still well.

413
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,760
No, I mean, there's some CG that's like.

414
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,960
Less awful, like whatever shark fin goes by someone like that's passable.

415
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760
Well, OK, let's talk to the expert then.

416
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,360
So regarding specifically the shark related stuff,

417
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,700
how do you think this kind of stacks up?

418
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:36,420
And you can put it between two shark movies in terms of quality, if that helps.

419
00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:37,560
Oh, between two sharks.

420
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,600
I mean, in terms of the shark related stuff, it's below every shark movie

421
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,720
because the movie did not focus nearly enough on the sharks.

422
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,420
The most interesting characters in the movie should be sharks.

423
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,840
And among other things, they were basically only filmed from above water

424
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,940
the entire time, which is really a waste.

425
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,140
You're passing out like the shark point of view shot.

426
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:57,940
I was very disappointed in no POV.

427
00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:01,580
Yeah, like seeing the shark like swim near someone's legs and then divert

428
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:03,780
and get some like there's just so much there.

429
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:06,880
Once you recognize the shark should be the star of your movie and they

430
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,020
the entire.

431
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:11,220
The shark. The shark crosshairs as he hones in on you.

432
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:12,180
I do.

433
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:17,020
Love just the language of low budget shark film.

434
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,180
Of low budget shark film of just man treading water.

435
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,080
Suddenly, man is underwater.

436
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:27,020
I did love like this shots of like the people just getting pulled in.

437
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,880
Yeah. It's like, boom, you're gone.

438
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:29,780
That's awesome.

439
00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:32,520
Yeah, they did do these little jolts of blood and excitement.

440
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:34,920
Yeah, they even did one classic towards the end.

441
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,380
They finally had their first amputation by shark, which is on the bingo board.

442
00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:39,380
And I on screen.

443
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:44,920
I went there because the chaplain or whatever that guy's role was.

444
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,780
He was hugging his leg for quite some time.

445
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,520
Indeed. One of the more tender.

446
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,820
On screen ships in the movie.

447
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,660
Yeah, that's where the feelings come from.

448
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:57,260
I do love that they use the same man and bad CG

449
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,720
shark coming up on the raft twice.

450
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:03,180
Listen, man, if you make a good shot, you just do it again.

451
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,680
Well, it's going to notice.

452
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,320
Also, those rafts sucked for real.

453
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,480
What the fuck? Those rafts are terrible.

454
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,820
I was thinking that for a while, and then I was like, you know what?

455
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,720
Those rafts are going to like sink if it's punctured.

456
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,720
True. No, I mean, there's stuff to it.

457
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:23,120
You can stack so many of them in the ship because there's no like bottom portion.

458
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:26,860
It's just like a foam ring with like cargo netting.

459
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,220
Yeah. Inside of it.

460
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,420
So bad for sharks.

461
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:33,020
It's bad for sharks, but it's good for people and ships.

462
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,920
No, this is all about intended function.

463
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,420
Yeah. I mean, to keep you from drowning.

464
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,520
Yeah. It's not meant to keep you safe from sharks and not even really

465
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,360
that safe from hypothermia since a lot of your body will be.

466
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,860
Yeah. Still water intermittently.

467
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:47,560
I love how they're so freaked out about sharks, but they're all just chill,

468
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,320
just like dangling their tootsies in the water. The whole film.

469
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:54,000
I would have expected more like fighting for the handful of spots

470
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,620
where you could keep your body above water.

471
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,520
Yeah, absolutely. But some good discipline.

472
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,600
What happened to the commander who like just fucked off to the

473
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,000
there's an island over there.

474
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,800
Oh, he totally was just hallucinating.

475
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,520
I know. But I wanted to rode out and just died.

476
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,420
I wanted to see that. Yeah.

477
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:11,300
Yeah, he was kind of a shit commander.

478
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:14,220
Yeah. Little racist fuck.

479
00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:15,420
He sucked.

480
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:19,220
He is the character who you expect to die dramatically in a shark movie

481
00:21:19,220 --> 00:21:21,620
to be punished for his obvious moral failings. Right.

482
00:21:21,620 --> 00:21:24,620
And he and the fact that it didn't happen on screen is really

483
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,020
another missed opportunity.

484
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:28,460
Yeah. They should have just shown his floating corpse somewhere.

485
00:21:28,460 --> 00:21:30,420
Well, again, because I can't.

486
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:31,820
Well, because I can't.

487
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:33,420
Oh, yeah. He just shits himself to death.

488
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:37,620
Well, again, because of the glut of actors and characters in this film,

489
00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:39,620
there's later just another rant.

490
00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:43,120
There's just another blonde guy like on a raft kind of floating by himself.

491
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,420
Dynamite is is that the same guy?

492
00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:46,620
I don't think it was.

493
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:47,920
Well, right. And they like.

494
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,620
So the other arc is that there's like the racist white guy

495
00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:54,820
who gets saved by the black guy that he's been a dick to this whole time.

496
00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:57,920
And then they become buddies and they find their other buddy,

497
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,420
but it's not really him.

498
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:04,620
And it's like what weird fake out bullshit was who fucking cares?

499
00:22:04,620 --> 00:22:07,820
I like the one guy who wrote smut and his book survived.

500
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:09,820
Yeah, that's the one that he's talking about.

501
00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:13,620
So like you get the fake out death where it's like, oh, he's got the book.

502
00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:15,820
It's our buddy Timothy.

503
00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:19,320
And no, it's just some dude with his head chomped off.

504
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,320
And we already seen the guy with the book earlier.

505
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,320
Yeah. Couple times.

506
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,820
That's that's so you can get fake out.

507
00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:27,320
But there was like a shark attack or whatever.

508
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,320
He had given his book to that other guy.

509
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,320
He was already with the captain, though.

510
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,320
It's yeah, it's just so sloppy.

511
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,820
It was really hard to track these characters again, partly because they weren't that distinct

512
00:22:36,820 --> 00:22:38,320
and you didn't actually care about them.

513
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,820
Like we could have boiled it down to like four principal characters

514
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:46,320
and just followed them significantly rather than trying to give everyone equal screen time.

515
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,320
Yeah, like all the stuff, the backstory for Tom Sizemore's character,

516
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,320
he just had a baby boy that he's never met because he's in the military.

517
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,820
I forgot about that. Right.

518
00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:56,820
And, you know, he's sitting there in the in the raft holding his leg lovingly.

519
00:22:56,820 --> 00:22:58,320
I liked his pigeon.

520
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,820
He's got his like his lucky dove of courage.

521
00:23:00,820 --> 00:23:03,820
I was watching this on one point seven five speed, so I probably missed that.

522
00:23:03,820 --> 00:23:05,820
Like three frames where there was a game.

523
00:23:05,820 --> 00:23:06,820
You really kicked it up.

524
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,320
There was a pigeon in there for a minute.

525
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,820
I needed to. Well, for me, it was a lot less than a minute.

526
00:23:11,820 --> 00:23:15,820
Are you just training yourself to understand like really fast talkers?

527
00:23:15,820 --> 00:23:17,820
Yes. Like you're just slow.

528
00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:19,820
Well, this is so incrementally.

529
00:23:19,820 --> 00:23:22,820
Yeah. This is so he can edit us quicker.

530
00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:23,820
Yeah, dude.

531
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,820
Oh, I could do that. I could do double time.

532
00:23:25,820 --> 00:23:27,820
So watching at one point seven five.

533
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:30,820
Did you catch the really dramatic foreshadowing moment?

534
00:23:31,820 --> 00:23:36,820
Whereas Nick Cage asks for escort for this dangerous mission and they reject it.

535
00:23:37,820 --> 00:23:42,820
They have these giant great white shark jaws on display and they're like both framed by these jaws.

536
00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:44,820
Yes. Really, really subtle.

537
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:48,820
Subtlety. It was a little it was a fast subtlety for me, but I got it.

538
00:23:48,820 --> 00:23:49,820
So thank goodness.

539
00:23:49,820 --> 00:23:51,820
Sharks are drawn to irony.

540
00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:54,820
God, this movie.

541
00:23:54,820 --> 00:23:58,820
I liked it more than I thought I was going to, but it's still pretty fucking bad.

542
00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,820
It's not terrible.

543
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:02,820
No, it's an enjoyable watch.

544
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:03,820
It's just got flaws.

545
00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:04,820
Yeah. So.

546
00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:06,820
So while we're. Oh, go ahead.

547
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,820
What was the quote you were going to?

548
00:24:08,820 --> 00:24:12,820
One of the reviews is someone for Roger Ebert dot com.

549
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:18,820
Consensus of the film was not exactly unwatchable, but also completely not worthy of watching.

550
00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:21,820
I think that's a fair assessment.

551
00:24:21,820 --> 00:24:24,820
So this is fundamentally a period piece, right?

552
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:25,820
It's a reenactment.

553
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:27,820
It's set in this in nineteen forty five.

554
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:28,820
Right. Yep.

555
00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:33,820
And so if there's anything people I assume enjoy, it's getting extremely pedantic.

556
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:37,820
But in a period piece, I expect things to try to be like loosely of the time.

557
00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:42,820
And yet early on, as they're getting us really invested in these characters and, you know,

558
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:46,820
this bromance between Bama and Dantonio and the girl they both love.

559
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:49,820
I think it's Dantonio is trying to get his buddies going.

560
00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:52,820
Dantonio is trying to get his buddies courage up.

561
00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:56,820
And he utters the phrase, you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

562
00:24:56,820 --> 00:24:59,820
I know in my head, I heard that and I was like, Wayne Gretzky.

563
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:03,820
Yeah. So this is a quote that isn't even real.

564
00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:04,820
It's apocryphal.

565
00:25:04,820 --> 00:25:09,820
A tribute to Wayne Gretzky in like the 1980s and is really only famous because it became

566
00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,820
the office meme about 20 years after that.

567
00:25:12,820 --> 00:25:18,820
And even beyond the fact that, yeah, this is a famous quote from 40 plus years later.

568
00:25:18,820 --> 00:25:25,820
I'm not even sure that math education in the 1930s and 40s would have included percentages

569
00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:31,820
and like following pro sports and describing shooting percentage as a thing that you would

570
00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:33,820
track or be interested in.

571
00:25:33,820 --> 00:25:37,820
That is a heck of a thing to bring in.

572
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:39,820
Dantonio also seems like an idiot.

573
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:41,820
He's got those sweet dance moves though.

574
00:25:41,820 --> 00:25:43,820
Oh, he does from the city.

575
00:25:43,820 --> 00:25:44,820
Yeah.

576
00:25:44,820 --> 00:25:46,820
And those girls caught on real fast.

577
00:25:46,820 --> 00:25:48,820
He's like, I'm going to teach them how to dance.

578
00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:54,820
I like how he did like the run up in like this, like the slide under the girls dress.

579
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:59,820
I like how this is all happening in the judges house and he's not shutting it down.

580
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:03,820
That would make so much noise, them stomping around and dancing.

581
00:26:03,820 --> 00:26:08,820
He did tell his house servant to tell them to turn that racket down.

582
00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:13,820
Yeah. Just I expected him to be firmer.

583
00:26:13,820 --> 00:26:16,820
So Dantonio dies and his buddy does get the girl at the end.

584
00:26:16,820 --> 00:26:19,820
Yeah. Bama becomes a baby daddy to her.

585
00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:21,820
Yeah, because she's pregnant.

586
00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:26,820
That's as soon as I like she said, like, I'm having, you know, the other man's baby.

587
00:26:26,820 --> 00:26:32,820
That's when I texted you both like this fucking movie had to tie it all together.

588
00:26:32,820 --> 00:26:36,820
And then the gambling addict guy, he's like, oh, he's a better man than me.

589
00:26:36,820 --> 00:26:37,820
You know, yeah.

590
00:26:37,820 --> 00:26:40,820
Yeah. The fuck this movie.

591
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:41,820
These characters are so dumb.

592
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:44,820
And the only reason I ever recognized him is because he had glasses.

593
00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:46,820
Right. Yeah, that was a notable trait. Yeah.

594
00:26:46,820 --> 00:26:49,820
White guy glasses. Ooh, gambling problem. OK, got it.

595
00:26:49,820 --> 00:26:53,820
I'm impressed you even tracked that at the end when they had, you know, he returned the ring.

596
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:55,820
Right. And then made this commentary.

597
00:26:55,820 --> 00:27:00,820
I'm like, oh, this is all supposed to be like tying up some arc, but I haven't followed this arc at all.

598
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,820
This means nothing to. Well, and then just the whole.

599
00:27:03,820 --> 00:27:09,820
So of the people who have an actual story is Bama and Dantonio and Dantonio dies off screen.

600
00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:11,820
Like they're they get rescued.

601
00:27:11,820 --> 00:27:13,820
No, he just dies. He dies in the boat.

602
00:27:13,820 --> 00:27:18,820
So he gets bitten and then he dies in the boat like very they're just sitting there and then all of a sudden he's like,

603
00:27:18,820 --> 00:27:22,820
Oh, he's like Dantonio, don't leave me, buddy.

604
00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:24,820
You know, but that's when he was hallucinating.

605
00:27:24,820 --> 00:27:26,820
And then later he's like, you know, take care of her for me.

606
00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:27,820
And he's like, you're going to be OK.

607
00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:30,820
And then we don't ever see them again until they're in the hospital.

608
00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:31,820
Well, that's true.

609
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:37,820
So like, it's just like it's such a it's just it's such a wet fart of an ending for that story.

610
00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:40,820
Yeah. Everybody's individual stories suck.

611
00:27:40,820 --> 00:27:44,820
There's not a good individual story except for Nicholas Cage's.

612
00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:48,820
Yeah, because he's just doing, you know, the best he can.

613
00:27:48,820 --> 00:27:56,820
He tries the most for his people and then he gets fucking lambasted at the end and just shoots himself.

614
00:27:56,820 --> 00:27:59,820
Japanese. Oh, well, the Japanese captain was pretty cool.

615
00:27:59,820 --> 00:28:01,820
The surprise witness. Yeah.

616
00:28:01,820 --> 00:28:08,820
Hachimoto. He was sweet. Also, I love his story of just like talking to the ghost of maybe his father.

617
00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:11,820
Yeah, I was curious. Was that the emperor?

618
00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:15,820
Was were there subtitles for those scenes? Yes. Yes.

619
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,820
Ah, not for me.

620
00:28:18,820 --> 00:28:22,820
So I just was like, hmm, Japanese. Got it.

621
00:28:22,820 --> 00:28:25,820
The family is rife with subtitles. OK.

622
00:28:25,820 --> 00:28:27,820
I mean, I watched the whole movie with subtitles.

623
00:28:27,820 --> 00:28:32,820
It just didn't bother. It didn't deign to give the Japanese characters any subtitles.

624
00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:39,820
Hmm. So when we watched the Meg, too, where there was a ton of Mandarin and no subtitles.

625
00:28:39,820 --> 00:28:46,820
The first time I watched the Wolverine movie, the one with Silver Samurai.

626
00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:51,820
Yeah, I had watched a copy that I downloaded and there were no subtitled tracks.

627
00:28:51,820 --> 00:28:55,820
And I was like, wow, this is a lot of Japanese. That's not getting explained to me.

628
00:28:55,820 --> 00:29:03,820
So Kong X Godzilla has this whole subterranean culture of like a lost tribe.

629
00:29:03,820 --> 00:29:08,820
And they have this whole history that tells the whole history of like Kong and like all the monsters.

630
00:29:08,820 --> 00:29:11,820
And instead of just giving them subtitles, they're also psychic.

631
00:29:11,820 --> 00:29:14,820
So they could just project these thoughts into the main characters.

632
00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:21,820
But the sexy white lady scientist just decodes their entire language in five minutes and tells the story for them.

633
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:25,820
I'm amazed they didn't make that a guy.

634
00:29:25,820 --> 00:29:29,820
Now, the guy was cool and wore a Hawaiian shirt and gave Kong a robot hand.

635
00:29:29,820 --> 00:29:32,820
Oh, fuck. Yeah, I want to see this. I love this fucking film.

636
00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:37,820
I'm sold now. Yeah. At one point, King Kong uses a monkey to hit another monkey.

637
00:29:37,820 --> 00:29:39,820
That's a pro move.

638
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,820
And then uses another monkey to hit both those monkeys.

639
00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:45,820
He nunchucks a baby monkey. I mean, as it should be.

640
00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:50,820
I mean, why doesn't he just swing his big ass dong around and fucking King to mess him up?

641
00:29:50,820 --> 00:29:55,820
Also, why isn't there more King Kong dick in these movies?

642
00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:58,820
Like he would have to have an enormous hog.

643
00:29:59,820 --> 00:30:04,820
I think don't like you would say great apes like notoriously have tiny hogs.

644
00:30:04,820 --> 00:30:06,820
Yeah, but he's giant.

645
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:08,820
It would still be the size of a car.

646
00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:11,820
It's like a Volkswagen Beetle. It's all about scale, though.

647
00:30:11,820 --> 00:30:13,820
He's so big. You still don't see it.

648
00:30:13,820 --> 00:30:19,820
I would see a fucking Volvo swinging around above my head if he was attacking the city.

649
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:23,820
I'd be like, oh, shit. Giant. Wow. OK.

650
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:24,820
Respect. Cool.

651
00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:28,820
And then he just grabs the world's largest frog and goes to town on it.

652
00:30:29,820 --> 00:30:32,820
Call back to one of our first episodes.

653
00:30:34,820 --> 00:30:42,820
Oh, God, what I'm hearing here is that when a movie understands how to use its creatures more effectively, the movie is more enjoyable.

654
00:30:42,820 --> 00:30:46,820
Yeah. If these sharks had had huge ass dicks, I would have been all about it.

655
00:30:46,820 --> 00:30:48,820
What's a shark dick look like?

656
00:30:48,820 --> 00:30:51,820
Well, they have two decks. I think so.

657
00:30:51,820 --> 00:30:57,820
They're fish. So as a not a shark expert, just a shark movie expert.

658
00:30:57,820 --> 00:31:10,820
Everything I know about shark science is like a sort of conglomerated canon of like this alternate shark universe in which shark scientists say things, many of which contradict each other.

659
00:31:10,820 --> 00:31:12,820
I've never heard anyone say they have two decks.

660
00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:15,820
I've also never heard anyone say they don't have two decks.

661
00:31:15,820 --> 00:31:17,820
So we're at least a coin toss here.

662
00:31:17,820 --> 00:31:19,820
OK, 50-50 two decks.

663
00:31:19,820 --> 00:31:21,820
So here's an important plug.

664
00:31:21,820 --> 00:31:23,820
Why do sharks have two penises?

665
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:25,820
Oh, no. Here's a subtitle.

666
00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:27,820
What is a class for?

667
00:31:27,820 --> 00:31:37,820
So in college, I went to art college and my science class was called Bad Science at the Movies, where we would watch ostensibly like bad shark movies.

668
00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:48,820
And my teacher would just fast forward through these movies to like the science, the fake science shit, pause it and then just rant at us about how that was just the dumbest thing that ever heard.

669
00:31:48,820 --> 00:31:50,820
Now, I don't want to be. It was amazing.

670
00:31:50,820 --> 00:31:52,820
That was a great class.

671
00:31:52,820 --> 00:32:03,820
My final, our final project was we had to create like a treatment for a bad science fiction movie with bad science and like create a poster for it.

672
00:32:03,820 --> 00:32:08,820
Mine was Gator Kane starring David Hasselhoff and William Shatner.

673
00:32:08,820 --> 00:32:10,820
This was three years before Sharknado was a thing.

674
00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:11,820
Someone owes me money.

675
00:32:11,820 --> 00:32:14,820
Which I still think you need to write so you don't get that stolen.

676
00:32:14,820 --> 00:32:15,820
It's already been stolen.

677
00:32:15,820 --> 00:32:20,820
Well, hey, rewrite it, write it as Gator Kane and Abel.

678
00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:22,820
Yeah, it's a morality tale.

679
00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:23,820
Yeah. Yeah.

680
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:27,820
So I'm still just shocked that you went to an accredited school when I hear these stories.

681
00:32:27,820 --> 00:32:29,820
It's like that's your science class.

682
00:32:29,820 --> 00:32:31,820
Literally.

683
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:33,820
I have a degree.

684
00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:36,820
It's in drawing shit, but it's an accredited degree.

685
00:32:36,820 --> 00:32:38,820
I have a degree in doodles.

686
00:32:38,820 --> 00:32:40,820
Yeah, I get it.

687
00:32:40,820 --> 00:32:41,820
Now I'm a web developer.

688
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:42,820
Grain of salt.

689
00:32:42,820 --> 00:32:45,820
With a minor in disproving bad movie science.

690
00:32:45,820 --> 00:32:48,820
Aaron, have you seen The Core?

691
00:32:48,820 --> 00:32:49,820
I have not.

692
00:32:49,820 --> 00:32:50,820
Oh, Lord.

693
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,820
I don't believe there are any sharks in that.

694
00:32:52,820 --> 00:32:54,820
There are some whales, but.

695
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:55,820
Magma shark.

696
00:32:55,820 --> 00:32:57,820
It is incredible.

697
00:32:57,820 --> 00:32:58,820
Lava sharks. That's a movie.

698
00:32:58,820 --> 00:32:59,820
Yeah.

699
00:32:59,820 --> 00:33:00,820
Oh, yeah.

700
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:01,820
I don't know about the sharks.

701
00:33:01,820 --> 00:33:02,820
Do they swim in the lava?

702
00:33:02,820 --> 00:33:03,820
Yes.

703
00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:04,820
Are they made of lava?

704
00:33:04,820 --> 00:33:05,820
Unclear.

705
00:33:05,820 --> 00:33:06,820
Do they just have thicker skin?

706
00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:10,820
Yeah, probably something prehistoric or the result of some experiment gone wrong.

707
00:33:10,820 --> 00:33:12,820
Yeah, that seems like often is the case.

708
00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:19,820
I'm curious as to what everyone's like favorite shark movie thing is, like either from a movie

709
00:33:19,820 --> 00:33:21,820
or a fact about a shark movie.

710
00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:25,820
I don't watch a lot of shark based cinema.

711
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:27,820
That must have been embarrassing for you to admit.

712
00:33:27,820 --> 00:33:30,820
Yeah, in this present company.

713
00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:31,820
What about shark based cinema?

714
00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:34,820
Yeah, they have two claspers.

715
00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:41,820
Clearly, I've been missing out on a whole series of pornography, but I still think my

716
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:48,820
favorite shark in film is the one from zombie because just a zombie fighting a shark is

717
00:33:48,820 --> 00:33:50,820
a great, great premise for me.

718
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:55,820
I think the thing I enjoy most is trying to figure out what kind of atypical shark we're

719
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:59,820
going to end up with because the shark is virtually always an atypical shark.

720
00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:00,820
Right.

721
00:34:00,820 --> 00:34:01,820
It's been genetically modified.

722
00:34:01,820 --> 00:34:02,820
It's prehistoric.

723
00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:04,820
It's in a place where sharks shouldn't be.

724
00:34:04,820 --> 00:34:08,820
And I just love the like the clues they're dropping and your mind churning trying to

725
00:34:08,820 --> 00:34:13,820
say, in what way is the shark going to be an absolute freak that deserves a movie about

726
00:34:13,820 --> 00:34:14,820
it?

727
00:34:14,820 --> 00:34:15,820
Three claspers.

728
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:16,820
That would do it.

729
00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:21,820
My they just spin around like a propeller and that makes them go faster.

730
00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:25,820
That's like they fly into turbo gets a little triple boner.

731
00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:27,820
And there you go.

732
00:34:27,820 --> 00:34:30,820
My favorite hydroplanes across the ocean backwards.

733
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:34,820
My favorite shark movie fact is from Jaws 3D.

734
00:34:34,820 --> 00:34:38,820
Michael Caine later in life being asked if he'd ever seen Jaws 3D and his response being

735
00:34:38,820 --> 00:34:42,820
no, but I saw the house it bought and it's glorious.

736
00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:46,820
So speaking of like comments about sharks at the end, they have these real little clips

737
00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:49,820
of these people that experience this and live through it.

738
00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:52,820
And you know that one of the questions that they asked was like, how do you feel about

739
00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:53,820
sharks now?

740
00:34:53,820 --> 00:34:55,820
And the old dude is just like, don't like them.

741
00:34:55,820 --> 00:34:56,820
Fucking hate them.

742
00:34:56,820 --> 00:34:57,820
Still hate those things.

743
00:34:57,820 --> 00:35:01,820
Like, yeah, dude, took your fucking leg off and ate your friend.

744
00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:02,820
Yeah.

745
00:35:02,820 --> 00:35:04,820
No, I like to go check them out.

746
00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:07,820
I really squared that with sharks.

747
00:35:07,820 --> 00:35:11,820
I know I mentioned this before, but I was talking to John last night.

748
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:14,820
Now we were talking about the Indianapolis.

749
00:35:14,820 --> 00:35:23,820
His so our friend, John, his ex grandfather in law, so his ex's grandfather was on the

750
00:35:23,820 --> 00:35:28,820
Indianapolis and they have misspelled his name in the memorial.

751
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:29,820
Oh, wow.

752
00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:30,820
Ouch.

753
00:35:30,820 --> 00:35:31,820
Yeah.

754
00:35:31,820 --> 00:35:34,820
Doesn't seem like it would be that hard to just fact check a name.

755
00:35:34,820 --> 00:35:35,820
Lazy.

756
00:35:35,820 --> 00:35:42,820
I don't know if it's misspelled like in the film or like the actual like on a monument

757
00:35:42,820 --> 00:35:43,820
somewhere.

758
00:35:43,820 --> 00:35:47,820
I think it's that one pretty bad, which is a lot harder to correct.

759
00:35:47,820 --> 00:35:51,820
Well, I guess once the film's out, that's a lot harder to correct because you've got

760
00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:53,820
physical distributed media.

761
00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:55,820
We're going to do a recall.

762
00:35:55,820 --> 00:36:00,820
Some dude just comes to my house every time I put the Blu Ray in and like runs a piece

763
00:36:00,820 --> 00:36:04,820
of paper with the corrected name up the screen as it goes by.

764
00:36:04,820 --> 00:36:06,820
That's job security right there.

765
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:10,820
There's only one guy because there's could only possibly be one person watching that

766
00:36:10,820 --> 00:36:11,820
movie at any given time.

767
00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:13,820
Is it Mario Van Peebles?

768
00:36:13,820 --> 00:36:14,820
Yes.

769
00:36:14,820 --> 00:36:15,820
He's like, I'm sorry, bro.

770
00:36:15,820 --> 00:36:18,820
I really fucked this one up.

771
00:36:18,820 --> 00:36:26,820
To look up what he has worked on and he's it's weird how he's got like almost a 60 40

772
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:34,820
split of like five star and below shit and like seven and a half and up shit.

773
00:36:34,820 --> 00:36:40,820
But I think most of the stuff that's well reviewed of his is just series like.

774
00:36:40,820 --> 00:36:43,820
And see, yes, it's like, oh, whatever.

775
00:36:43,820 --> 00:36:44,820
He did one episode.

776
00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,820
It probably sucked.

777
00:36:46,820 --> 00:36:48,820
C.G.I. was terrible in the sharks.

778
00:36:48,820 --> 00:36:49,820
Yeah.

779
00:36:49,820 --> 00:36:51,820
Why is why is there always a shark?

780
00:36:51,820 --> 00:36:55,820
Peter, you mentioned that they're talking to the old guys at the end is like still hate

781
00:36:55,820 --> 00:36:56,820
the sharks.

782
00:36:56,820 --> 00:37:00,820
They haven't come around on them and just made me think.

783
00:37:00,820 --> 00:37:04,820
Oh, a long time ago, I worked with some Vietnam veterans and a few of them mentioned having

784
00:37:04,820 --> 00:37:11,820
gone back to Vietnam much more recently as part of these, I don't know, kind of strange

785
00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:17,820
tourism experiences that did include some attempt at like a truth and reconciliation

786
00:37:17,820 --> 00:37:21,820
aspect in which they like met with, you know, folks who'd survived on the other side and

787
00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:26,820
like walked through the jungles together and experience each other as people, not military

788
00:37:26,820 --> 00:37:27,820
represented.

789
00:37:27,820 --> 00:37:28,820
Anyway, strange thing.

790
00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:32,820
I'm not going to pass any judgment on how well that works.

791
00:37:32,820 --> 00:37:36,820
But what I'm trying to picture right now is how great it would be if you did that for

792
00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:39,820
these guys from the USS Indianapolis and sharks.

793
00:37:39,820 --> 00:37:44,820
Well, I think you get them together with some marine biologists, some scuba outfits, some

794
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:45,820
cages.

795
00:37:45,820 --> 00:37:46,820
You bring them back out of the Pacific.

796
00:37:46,820 --> 00:37:47,820
You lure in some sharks.

797
00:37:47,820 --> 00:37:51,820
You put them down there and then you have them learn a whole but try to understand the

798
00:37:51,820 --> 00:37:52,820
sharks and where they're coming from.

799
00:37:52,820 --> 00:37:53,820
Be like, I understand.

800
00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:54,820
That's just its drive.

801
00:37:54,820 --> 00:37:55,820
It's biological drive.

802
00:37:55,820 --> 00:38:00,820
It did what it needed to do in that moment for its own survival.

803
00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:02,820
And I respect that.

804
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:03,820
Let's take this a step further.

805
00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:06,820
Let's do it off of Pearl Harbor.

806
00:38:06,820 --> 00:38:08,820
We'll get some Japanese soldiers as well.

807
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:12,820
We'll put them in the water in a separate cage and they can be writing signs back and

808
00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:15,820
forth to each other while sharks swim around them.

809
00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:16,820
Healing, healing.

810
00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:17,820
Wow.

811
00:38:17,820 --> 00:38:18,820
Yeah.

812
00:38:18,820 --> 00:38:19,820
Thanks.

813
00:38:19,820 --> 00:38:20,820
I think we just solved everything.

814
00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:24,820
You know, one of those old guys is going to bring a gun down there and just start popping

815
00:38:24,820 --> 00:38:25,820
off on sharks.

816
00:38:25,820 --> 00:38:27,820
He's like, I told you I don't like sharks.

817
00:38:27,820 --> 00:38:28,820
These fuckers.

818
00:38:28,820 --> 00:38:33,820
I'm about to commit a hate crime.

819
00:38:33,820 --> 00:38:34,820
Shark hate.

820
00:38:34,820 --> 00:38:35,820
No, but then there's going to be blood in the water.

821
00:38:35,820 --> 00:38:36,820
Yeah.

822
00:38:36,820 --> 00:38:38,820
And it'll bring more sharks and he'll kill them too.

823
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:39,820
Good.

824
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:40,820
Yeah.

825
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:41,820
Get all the sharks.

826
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:42,820
Just keep getting blood.

827
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:43,820
Not a fan.

828
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:44,820
Not a fan of sharks.

829
00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:50,820
I'm curious what slur these guys, the racist against sharks would come up with for sharks.

830
00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:51,820
Yeah.

831
00:38:51,820 --> 00:38:55,820
OK, so I don't want to say any in case it's an actual slur for another group of people.

832
00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:57,820
You can say one and I'll just double check it.

833
00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:58,820
No, I'm probably won't.

834
00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:01,820
I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

835
00:39:01,820 --> 00:39:08,820
Why is so they missed an incredible opportunity and just hit me now when this movie ends, it

836
00:39:08,820 --> 00:39:09,820
should have just said Finn.

837
00:39:09,820 --> 00:39:15,820
We're not going to get a better joke than that.

838
00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:16,820
This episode's over.

839
00:39:16,820 --> 00:39:17,820
We have completed the episode.

840
00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:22,820
We do have to do the quick performance review, but they're fine.

841
00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:23,820
Yeah.

842
00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:24,820
Yeah.

843
00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:28,340
So we do like a matrix, you know, good movie, good cage performance, bad movie, bad cage

844
00:39:28,340 --> 00:39:29,340
performance.

845
00:39:29,340 --> 00:39:31,740
Where does it fall on the matrix of that thoughts?

846
00:39:31,740 --> 00:39:37,140
Well, I actually don't feel qualified to speak on cage performance.

847
00:39:37,140 --> 00:39:42,980
I'm going to go with alternate matrix of, you know, good shark movie, bad shark movie,

848
00:39:42,980 --> 00:39:46,220
good movie, bad movie, right, which again are very distinct.

849
00:39:46,220 --> 00:39:50,380
And I will say bad movie and unfortunately medium bad shark.

850
00:39:50,380 --> 00:39:51,380
Yeah.

851
00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:56,420
I don't think we've ever had a guest say I won't play your game.

852
00:39:56,420 --> 00:39:57,420
Here's my.

853
00:39:57,420 --> 00:39:58,420
Here's an amended.

854
00:39:58,420 --> 00:40:01,420
Who do you think you are?

855
00:40:01,420 --> 00:40:02,420
Nick.

856
00:40:02,420 --> 00:40:05,420
Only I want.

857
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:06,580
Yeah.

858
00:40:06,580 --> 00:40:07,580
Where do you get off?

859
00:40:07,580 --> 00:40:08,580
Oh, yeah.

860
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:09,580
Claspers.

861
00:40:09,580 --> 00:40:10,580
Yeah.

862
00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:11,780
I got to make sure my cameras are pointed right.

863
00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:12,780
I don't know.

864
00:40:12,780 --> 00:40:13,780
OK.

865
00:40:13,780 --> 00:40:14,780
Yeah.

866
00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:20,780
I think that's that's a fair assessment from all the shark film I haven't seen.

867
00:40:20,780 --> 00:40:25,100
I've seen Jaws.

868
00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:26,100
Good good answer.

869
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:27,100
Yep.

870
00:40:27,100 --> 00:40:31,740
I think for me, it falls in like cage's performance is fine.

871
00:40:31,740 --> 00:40:35,500
It's just they didn't give him enough to do because he's a real dude who is a serious guy

872
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:36,500
in the military.

873
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:39,380
It's like maybe that is still military.

874
00:40:39,380 --> 00:40:40,380
Yeah.

875
00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:41,380
What are you?

876
00:40:41,380 --> 00:40:43,380
Water military, water military, water based military.

877
00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:47,780
So many of those so many of those Navy men could not swim.

878
00:40:47,780 --> 00:40:48,780
Seaman Seaman.

879
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,780
Yeah, they were bad.

880
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:52,180
Yeah, it seems like you should maybe learn.

881
00:40:52,180 --> 00:40:55,140
Yeah, you think that'd be part of basic training.

882
00:40:55,140 --> 00:41:00,780
To be fair, if your ship goes down in the ocean, you're pretty.

883
00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:02,500
They do say that in this film.

884
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:05,500
It's not much point in learning how to swim because where are you going to go?

885
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:06,500
Right.

886
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,420
I mean, if you had your escort, you'd be in a different situation.

887
00:41:08,420 --> 00:41:09,900
But yeah, pretty fucked.

888
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:10,900
Sorry.

889
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:15,980
That's why you've got the hollow lifeboats, the net boats and you just hope.

890
00:41:15,980 --> 00:41:16,980
Yeah.

891
00:41:16,980 --> 00:41:22,220
But yeah, I well, this movie was much more watchable than I assumed it would be.

892
00:41:22,220 --> 00:41:23,580
It's not that interesting.

893
00:41:23,580 --> 00:41:26,580
And Nicholas Cage doesn't really do anything in it.

894
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:30,020
No, I've probably got one more watch of this in my lifetime.

895
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:31,020
It's one more.

896
00:41:31,020 --> 00:41:32,020
That's about it.

897
00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:33,020
Yeah.

898
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:34,020
Yeah.

899
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:35,340
I mean, I watch it with my dad or something.

900
00:41:35,340 --> 00:41:38,780
OK, I do feel like because I have one of those.

901
00:41:38,780 --> 00:41:41,580
Oh, shots fired.

902
00:41:41,580 --> 00:41:46,180
Mean, you know, my father was killed by a shark.

903
00:41:46,180 --> 00:41:47,780
That comes up in a lot of shark movies.

904
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:48,780
Yeah.

905
00:41:48,780 --> 00:41:50,380
It was a retaliation killing.

906
00:41:50,380 --> 00:41:51,740
You know what your father did.

907
00:41:51,740 --> 00:41:52,740
I know.

908
00:41:52,740 --> 00:41:56,300
I will say this movie did remind me partially of.

909
00:41:56,300 --> 00:42:00,380
You want to talk about this briefly.

910
00:42:00,380 --> 00:42:01,380
Fucking Buffalo movie.

911
00:42:01,380 --> 00:42:02,380
Oh, yeah.

912
00:42:02,380 --> 00:42:03,380
Butcher's Cross.

913
00:42:03,380 --> 00:42:08,620
And that I'm assuming the producers or director just like, hey, we have this shark footage.

914
00:42:08,620 --> 00:42:12,140
Can we just like make a movie and splice it in?

915
00:42:12,140 --> 00:42:18,140
We also have a torpedo footage that we can add.

916
00:42:18,140 --> 00:42:21,820
Anybody who just had that torpedo footage on hand and thought this is worth putting

917
00:42:21,820 --> 00:42:22,820
in a film.

918
00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:24,460
Yeah, Van Peebles made a mistake.

919
00:42:24,460 --> 00:42:28,420
Like I'm he had to have just been like, oh, shit.

920
00:42:28,420 --> 00:42:29,740
It's Tuesday morning.

921
00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:32,700
I need a torpedo.

922
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:33,700
See what we got.

923
00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:36,900
Just that one's a Kitan.

924
00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:37,900
Yeah.

925
00:42:37,900 --> 00:42:40,300
Just floats a plastic bottle across some water.

926
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:41,820
And it's like, here we go.

927
00:42:41,820 --> 00:42:45,400
The whole thing with the Kitan like.

928
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:52,940
The only reason that comes up and a Kitan is a man powered torpedo like underwater kamikaze,

929
00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:54,980
which I didn't know about until this film.

930
00:42:54,980 --> 00:42:56,260
Same, same, same.

931
00:42:56,260 --> 00:42:59,740
But it comes up at the beginning of the movie.

932
00:42:59,740 --> 00:43:05,540
They show the Japanese sub fire one at a merchant vents merchant vessel like it notices it's

933
00:43:05,540 --> 00:43:09,020
a merchant vessel as it's like coming upon it and like veers off.

934
00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:12,740
OK, so I missed that part in one point seven five.

935
00:43:12,740 --> 00:43:13,740
Yeah.

936
00:43:13,740 --> 00:43:17,860
So later on, when they shoot down the Indianapolis, they don't fire a Kitan.

937
00:43:17,860 --> 00:43:21,340
And I'm like, what was the point of explained the kind at all?

938
00:43:21,340 --> 00:43:25,820
And it's only so during the court martial hearing.

939
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:29,380
They can be asked if they if you know, the ship was hit by a Kitan or just a regular

940
00:43:29,380 --> 00:43:30,380
torpedo.

941
00:43:30,380 --> 00:43:34,860
And did that justify the fact that he did not zigzag his ship as per protocol?

942
00:43:34,860 --> 00:43:35,860
Serpentine pattern.

943
00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:36,860
Yeah, it's just it's.

944
00:43:36,860 --> 00:43:46,460
So it's a kind of a bad movie and a, you know, lackluster performance.

945
00:43:46,460 --> 00:43:47,460
It's a C minus.

946
00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:49,460
I might give it a D plus.

947
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,700
C minus is good.

948
00:43:51,700 --> 00:43:52,700
C for clasper.

949
00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:53,700
Nice.

950
00:43:53,700 --> 00:43:56,660
Now, now it's a C plus because it's got to.

951
00:43:56,660 --> 00:44:01,540
All right, Aaron, any final thoughts on this one?

952
00:44:01,540 --> 00:44:02,540
No.

953
00:44:02,540 --> 00:44:03,540
Good.

954
00:44:03,540 --> 00:44:09,500
What what do you have in the shoot for your next shark and whiskey party?

955
00:44:09,500 --> 00:44:12,220
It's a great question.

956
00:44:12,220 --> 00:44:13,580
There's been a nice little bit of buzz.

957
00:44:13,580 --> 00:44:19,460
We're hoping it's not too much buzz, but a movie called Under Paris Netflix, I think,

958
00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:20,940
just put it out in the last week or two.

959
00:44:20,940 --> 00:44:21,940
And Netflix original.

960
00:44:21,940 --> 00:44:24,140
So certainly the caliber we're looking for.

961
00:44:24,140 --> 00:44:25,140
Yes.

962
00:44:25,140 --> 00:44:29,740
And yeah, some of the some of it has gone a bit viral, even just from the trailer.

963
00:44:29,740 --> 00:44:35,340
It appears that there's a strong motivation to keep this triathlon going in the water

964
00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:40,700
for kind of tourism purposes, even though there's a shark swimming in the same river

965
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:41,700
in Paris.

966
00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:43,660
It sounds like a cream situation.

967
00:44:43,660 --> 00:44:44,660
It sure does.

968
00:44:44,660 --> 00:44:45,660
It sure does.

969
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:47,380
Also, shark an unusual place, right?

970
00:44:47,380 --> 00:44:49,620
Like swimming in a river in a major city.

971
00:44:49,620 --> 00:44:51,100
So off to a great start.

972
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:56,180
I think we're almost certain to watch it unless we become concerned that too many of our audience

973
00:44:56,180 --> 00:44:58,040
already watched it on their own.

974
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,820
Not normally something we have to worry about.

975
00:44:59,820 --> 00:45:02,260
OK, so you've inspired another question.

976
00:45:02,260 --> 00:45:08,140
Has there ever been a shark film where the sharks are in the canals of Venice and you

977
00:45:08,140 --> 00:45:13,580
have gondolieries like there has not been a shark film that has done that.

978
00:45:13,580 --> 00:45:19,580
But in 2012 and 2013, when this event was happening monthly, one of the attendees and

979
00:45:19,580 --> 00:45:27,500
I did write a serial piece of shark fiction, a were shark in Venice, an American.

980
00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:32,100
People helped us ask it acted out as a little like pre movie warm up for us.

981
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:34,200
So eight to 10 events in a row.

982
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,140
We wrote like a little a little five chapter.

983
00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:37,140
Yeah.

984
00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:42,200
So, yeah, set fully in the canals of Venice and with a teenage love triangle.

985
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,300
And one of them is turns out is a were shark.

986
00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:53,500
So who would play the badass silent gondolier who like a silent gondolier doesn't sing?

987
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,220
No, he's just he's just quiet.

988
00:45:55,220 --> 00:45:57,020
He's not getting my money.

989
00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:58,820
He's just quiet and like still the whole time.

990
00:45:58,820 --> 00:46:02,540
But like fistfights, the shark Jason Statham, that's what I was thinking.

991
00:46:02,540 --> 00:46:05,060
He didn't even use the pole.

992
00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:06,060
No fistfights.

993
00:46:06,060 --> 00:46:07,060
Jesus, idiot.

994
00:46:07,060 --> 00:46:08,980
Bad gondolier breaks the pole into.

995
00:46:08,980 --> 00:46:09,980
Yeah.

996
00:46:09,980 --> 00:46:13,540
And we do already know that Jason Statham is happy to be cast in two shark movies in

997
00:46:13,540 --> 00:46:14,740
just the last few years.

998
00:46:14,740 --> 00:46:15,740
That's true.

999
00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:16,740
Since he led both Meg movies.

1000
00:46:16,740 --> 00:46:19,660
OK, I was wondering if they were two different franchises.

1001
00:46:19,660 --> 00:46:23,260
I know anything you want to promote other than shark and whiskey.

1002
00:46:23,260 --> 00:46:24,940
No, that's most of my life.

1003
00:46:24,940 --> 00:46:25,940
Yeah, that's good.

1004
00:46:25,940 --> 00:46:28,620
Thank you all for listening.

1005
00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:30,700
These are silly offshoot episodes.

1006
00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:37,380
We'll be back to kind of our regular programming and getting into the slicks teen here soon.

1007
00:46:37,380 --> 00:46:40,860
And just as soon as that child can fend for itself.

1008
00:46:40,860 --> 00:46:41,860
She's probably all right.

1009
00:46:41,860 --> 00:46:42,860
Yeah.

1010
00:46:42,860 --> 00:46:45,660
Three weeks is about the age where you can let them free roam, right?

1011
00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:46,660
Absolutely.

1012
00:46:46,660 --> 00:46:47,660
Yeah.

1013
00:46:47,660 --> 00:46:48,660
Yeah.

1014
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:49,660
They're holding up their head by now, right?

1015
00:46:49,660 --> 00:46:50,660
Yeah.

1016
00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:51,660
Done.

1017
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:52,660
Easy.

1018
00:46:52,660 --> 00:46:53,660
At least put the three year old sibling in charge of them.

1019
00:46:53,660 --> 00:46:54,660
Yeah.

1020
00:46:54,660 --> 00:46:55,660
Yeah.

1021
00:46:55,660 --> 00:47:00,620
Well, no, we give Cora a knife and we explain to her the responsibility of knife ownership.

1022
00:47:00,620 --> 00:47:01,620
Good.

1023
00:47:01,620 --> 00:47:03,180
And then our hands are clean.

1024
00:47:03,180 --> 00:47:05,180
And then we give them we give like hers.

1025
00:47:05,180 --> 00:47:07,140
Then we give the baby a gun.

1026
00:47:07,140 --> 00:47:08,140
Right.

1027
00:47:08,140 --> 00:47:09,140
Just in case.

1028
00:47:09,140 --> 00:47:10,140
Just in case.

1029
00:47:10,140 --> 00:47:11,140
It's a safety measure.

1030
00:47:11,140 --> 00:47:12,140
Yeah.

1031
00:47:12,140 --> 00:47:13,140
All right.

1032
00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:14,140
Anyway, you can find us on social media.

1033
00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:15,140
Please cut that.

1034
00:47:15,140 --> 00:47:18,780
You can find us on social media at cage underscore match underscore pod.

1035
00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:22,780
Or if you want to support us on Patreon, we are cage match pod or cage match.

1036
00:47:22,780 --> 00:47:24,360
We are cage match.

1037
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:25,860
We are cage match.

1038
00:47:25,860 --> 00:47:26,860
I am cage match.

1039
00:47:26,860 --> 00:47:32,860
Thank you to our supporters, our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam and Bill,

1040
00:47:32,860 --> 00:47:36,740
and to our cage dancers, Ira, John, Freeman, Lance and Nathan.

1041
00:47:36,740 --> 00:47:41,420
We really appreciate the support and thanks for listening, everybody.

1042
00:47:41,420 --> 00:47:44,700
Bye bye.

1043
00:47:44,700 --> 00:47:50,900
Bye bye.

1044
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:57,460
Speaking of hot dog related content, I was listening to the latest vlog from Keep It

1045
00:47:57,460 --> 00:48:00,820
Classy, my favorite Australian funny folk.

1046
00:48:00,820 --> 00:48:07,980
And Amber made the anecdote trying to say like a kitchenette is not talking about a

1047
00:48:07,980 --> 00:48:12,020
motel, like a kitchenette is not like a mini fridge and a bathroom sink, much like a hot

1048
00:48:12,020 --> 00:48:15,020
dog is an a dildo until I put it in my ass.

1049
00:48:15,020 --> 00:48:21,380
God, speaking of things in holes, I put the placentas in the hole this morning.

1050
00:48:21,380 --> 00:48:24,540
I keep bringing that shit up.

1051
00:48:24,540 --> 00:48:26,540
And I do hope you lost your hands.

1052
00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:27,540
I did.

1053
00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:28,540
I appreciate.

1054
00:48:28,540 --> 00:48:33,140
I'm just glad to be done with that placental hole.

1055
00:48:33,140 --> 00:48:34,140
For now.

1056
00:48:34,140 --> 00:48:35,140
Was it both of them?

1057
00:48:35,140 --> 00:48:36,140
Yeah.

1058
00:48:36,140 --> 00:48:38,620
You were just so you're just holding on to one for we had it for nearly three years in

1059
00:48:38,620 --> 00:48:39,620
the freezer.

1060
00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:44,140
Yeah, your face is how my face is about it, too.

1061
00:48:44,140 --> 00:48:47,780
I'm glad I'm divorced.

1062
00:48:47,780 --> 00:48:54,740
Well, it's kind of nice because we had our little hippie placental burial today and Cora

1063
00:48:54,740 --> 00:48:58,900
and Barrett are going to get backdoor baptized later today.

1064
00:48:58,900 --> 00:49:02,420
So that's when you get baptized in the butt.

1065
00:49:02,420 --> 00:49:03,420
Oh, yeah.

1066
00:49:03,420 --> 00:49:04,420
It's a bidet situation.

1067
00:49:04,420 --> 00:49:05,420
Yeah.

1068
00:49:05,420 --> 00:49:06,420
Yeah.

1069
00:49:06,420 --> 00:49:09,420
The holy water cleanses you from the inside out, baby.

1070
00:49:09,420 --> 00:49:14,920
So if it gets話 Entertainment This is where the

1071
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,740
connection comes in.