Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Tell you what, I ate a lot of tacos in the 90s.
They were popping.
There's a hair on my microphone.
Gross. Is it mine?
No, I think it was one of the like rosies or something.
OK, that's better, I suppose.
Depends where on Rosie.
Hmm. True.
Not all dog hair is the same.
But but hair, but hair.
Things haven't changed that much over here.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, Darrell, do you have a strong feeling one way or the other on these movies?
I know this is our comedy bracket.
I'm the big fan of both, to be honest.
Weatherman.
I think low key one of my favorite cage films.
It might actually be.
It's a good film.
Yeah.
There's so many things throughout that movie that I forgot until I turned it on.
I was like, oh, wait, I'm a see some fucking chicken nuggets
slapping him in the face. That's going to be good.
That's what we come for.
I still want to believe that brands paid to have like
stuff thrown on Nick Cage.
Yeah. I mean, he talks about Frosty's a lot.
And he goes into an Arby's to get Arby's coffee.
Well, he was trying to get change.
I know.
It's also so weird to think about.
There was a time not that long ago where you needed cash.
It's true.
Do you think Arby's coffee is just like as you beefed?
That's just as you.
I was just thinking that'd be great.
That would be a way better marketing if they just sold like a cup of as you
caffeinated as you could take your roast beef and dip it.
I want caffeinated gravy.
Yeah. Isn't that a red eye gravy?
Is that what that is?
Yeah. It's gravy with coffee in it.
How much coffee?
Not enough to like get you going.
That's not what I want.
Well, then you just want coffee.
Yeah, but I want it to be graveyed.
OK, I'll do that for you, but you have to eat it all.
You're going to make a disgusting amount.
No, I'm going to make a normal 16 ounce cup of coffee's amount.
That sounds horrible.
It truly does.
And just a cup of coffee.
Since we've last met, I've quit drinking.
I need new and interesting ways to hurt myself.
Which is great, because that's where I come in.
Blending stuff in gravy.
This is how you get your sick kicks from gravy to the grave.
I don't want coffee gravy.
I want caffeinated gravy.
The fuck are you talking about?
You're going to get the gravy I make you.
One of the scenes in Weatherman that I had forgotten about entirely
and was just like, this is so strange.
It's when Mike is eating the corn dogs and Nick Cage is like,
what are you eating?
Yeah, like he's never seen a corn dog before.
So welcome back to Cage Magical on a roundabout way of meeting Nicholas Cage.
I'm Sean here with my co-host Nick.
I'm Nick and our producer Peter. Hello.
And this week we have back Darrell Edge from the Cage Raid podcast
and getting to foe you.
Hello, hello. Yes, there's there's been more to foe since the last time.
This cage is still caging on.
Thank you for having me back.
Feels like it was only yesterday you were talking to me about spiders
and spider season.
And I'm still mad that I know that's a thing that exists.
Well, I can I can put your I can put your mind to ease it a little bit.
We are currently at the start of bunny season. Yeah. It's much softer.
Is that that's not under the name like spiders, is it?
Because I will start throwing hands at all of you.
No legit, you know, the Pacific Northwest rabbit.
Yeah, like legit bunnies.
I was like pulling out of my driveway the other day,
and there was just a bunny in front of my car that I had to like shoe off.
Would have been better if it was on your car. Yeah.
Just I think just driving your car.
I mean, that'd be a much better story for me.
Just a rabbit, like three rabbits in a trench coat, stealing his car.
That's still be a very short person.
The power of three, three, anything's in a trench coat
can do whatever it puts its mind to.
The trench coat is what gives it the power, really.
Yeah, it's a magical trench coat. It does make sense that way.
Darrell, I had a question for you because I watched a movie recently
and it did have Willem Dafoe in it, and it's a new movie.
Have you seen Poor Things yet?
I have indeed. Yes.
What did you think of that movie?
Obviously, without spoiling too much of your own work
that you're going to do later when you actually review that.
I loved it. I'm a big, big fan.
Give me Deformed Dafoe any day of the week.
Give me Deformed Daddy.
And I'm there with bells on.
Give me Emma Stone.
You know, anything really big fan of Emma Stone.
And also Mark Ruffalo, what a goddamn GM.
So you say a deformed Dafoe.
We've seen Dafoe with tiny teeth.
What's the what's he bring into the table this time?
Oh, it's something.
Oh, my God, is it his wiener?
No, that's too scary for everyone.
I wish. I mean, you know, we we have a running gag on our show.
It's not even a gag at this point.
It's just a fact that we have to bring up the foes hog every episode
where it does not belong.
A lot of lies like sort of weird Frankenstein jigsawed prosthetics on the face.
This kind of odds kind of Germanic accent fat fingers.
This guy got a whole lot going on.
Yeah. And no doubt that he's got a Frankenstein dig to thank God.
Patched together all different shades.
Do you think the stitching is like a selling point when he goes on a date?
Like, yeah, it's got stitching, so it's like kind of all off center ribbing.
Unintentionally ribbed for her pleasure.
Right. Yeah.
Don't go too hard. It might like rip something off.
But my favorite line in that movie is when he's sort of like defending his actions.
And he's just like, well, of course, what was I supposed to do?
I put the baby's brain in the mother's body.
And I was like, all right, I have no clue what this movie is about.
When did you start talking about American politics?
He did nothing wrong.
We've got it coming up in a soon as we start.
We thought to ourselves we should probably do some more recent movies
so people listen to us. That'd be nice.
Wait, you do this for listeners?
Wait, what? You do this for the listeners?
I do it to get laid.
Actually, maybe you do it to get laid.
I've tried. It hasn't worked yet.
That's yeah. No, that's the thing.
Nick Cage, podcaster is on my dating profile and everyone I like,
whenever I bring it up with someone I'm talking to on an app, they're just like,
wait, that's real.
And my only response to that is ever.
Why would I lie about that of all the things I can lie about?
Why would I lie about that?
I think that's where you're going wrong.
You can't get defensive as soon as someone asks you a question
about something you put in your own profile.
So you were Nick Cage, podcast, a fuck you.
Fuck. You're serious about that.
I'm like, of course I'm serious about it.
You should just.
Why would I lie about that?
Not answer with words, but answer with just a bottle of ether.
My profile was written by three bunnies in a trench coat.
What do you want from me?
Now that you should add. Oh.
So Dave Spritz, Dave Spritz,
just like the weatherman, this conversation is full of depression.
All right. Here we go.
Back on track.
Oh, if we're talking about weatherman in respect to the horrible
American accents by English actors in this,
I want to hear your best worst American accent.
I mean, I feel like on behalf of all British people,
I have to apologize for Michael Caine.
We didn't tell him to do that.
I remember talking about this on like when I covered this and I was like,
you know what?
No one's watching Michael Caine for an accent.
You know what I mean?
Let Michael Caine be Michael Caine just in like.
Nicholas, your daughter's got a camel toe.
What is this? Still does.
Like that would have been great.
That would have been fine. Sucking and fucking and chucking rocks.
Fucking good. What is this all about?
It's much better.
It would have been fine.
Like, you know, transatlantic relationships can happen.
You can have a British mother, a British father, Michael Caine, father
and American mother still produce a Nicholas Cage.
Now you're asking my own best and worst American.
I don't know. I feel like any time
someone English tries to do an American accent,
it's going to end up being some kind of California surfer.
Yeah, dear.
Kind of stuff like that.
Or it's going to be.
I don't know.
I'm walking here.
Is that did I sound like I'm one of you?
Did I sound good?
Was that convincing?
Yeah, exactly. I heard that as I came over here.
Like the gold standard for me is like the Hugh Laurie house.
Oh, it's like a bad.
Yeah, it's just like this is generic American.
Yeah, it always feels like you have to move your mouth in a really weird way.
I don't know. It just sounds so strange.
Yeah, it just sounds like anytime you guys talk,
it's just a massive struggle to keep that accent going.
You can stop faking it, guys.
Oh, thanks. Fuck.
Yeah, we've all actually secretly been using British accents
for the last 250 years.
We're like, let's not let this one go.
I'm Greek. Yeah.
Who said the revolution failed?
You know, we played the long game, guys.
We tried our best.
So the weatherman, so the weatherman,
it's early here.
Yeah, I'm only on my first cup of coffee.
It's weird going back and like thinking about a time where money was necessary.
I said that already. Yeah, you did.
It's fine. But yeah, like if anyone gives me cash now, I'm really annoyed with them.
Oh, I was nothing to do with it.
I got cash the other day because that's less cash I needed to pull out for weed.
Oh, yeah.
Cash to me always feels like fake money now, which is really funny,
because if I have it, I'm like, well, I haven't thought about this.
I'm not like going to have this deducted from my bank account anymore.
So it's just sort of like whatever it's cash.
Yeah, that's like just free good.
Yeah, this isn't going on the books.
Yeah, you could spend it on anything, anything like cheap hand jobs.
How cheap?
Well, I only carry I only carry one dollar usually.
So it's going to be a weird sounds callous, a tug and rotation from below.
Hey, you don't know what I like.
I don't. But I know what I do.
Like the hand grip of someone trying to start a motorcycle, just wrenching it down.
That's the kind of stuff I'm in.
Start at the top and pull straight down.
Oh, like on a like a matter.
Yeah. Yeah. Like an utter like a milking a llama.
Yeah. Or an alpaca.
The the boobs.
See, this is the kind of conversation you just don't get on any other podcast.
The one dollar hand job conversation.
You know, cranking it.
Yeah, this is what brings you back, a Darrell.
And I'll come back again and again and again, because I want to know
what two dollars can get me five dollars.
I want to convert it.
I was just thinking of like if you showed up with like a two dollar bill
but want change, but want change.
So it's is it that hard to get change?
I know we're like, you know, we're all cashless society, you know, you know, twenty to twenty four.
Is it that hard to get change in an Arby's?
We don't have them over here.
So I can only go by what this film tells me about, like a tooth.
Circa two thousand and five Arby's.
Will they fight you on that?
No, you would be allowed to get change. Yeah.
I mean, there might be some stores that have certain policies where like,
I mean, the McDonald's in downtown Seattle, the third and like, yeah,
you can't do anything there.
No, you could probably get you could barely order food.
They're drug dealers out front.
Yeah, you could probably do that.
You could probably get a dollar hand job.
You could also probably do that.
But you have to get the special code to get in the bathroom.
So all right.
So now it's like, what, a five dollar hand job.
Could you have to buy a drink or something?
You have to buy coffee.
Who's wasting their time on bathrooms?
It's already third and like, yeah, right.
It's public. Just let it fly.
Gross.
Can I get the one dollar McCann job aside?
A small coffee.
I spill my McNuggets all over the sidewalk.
Podcast is over. Yeah.
Well, it ties into all the throwing of food.
It does. This movie. So there you go.
It's not totally.
How many takes do you think those each took?
Oh, yeah. Like, did they just have a ton of coats and just pelted
the fuck out of him?
Go over Binsky.
He was throwing all the food at him off camera.
Yeah, yeah. He was just catching him by surprise.
No, no.
So just standing there waiting in cage had to just perform.
I hope they set up like a whole bunch of blinds
where you didn't know where Verbin's he was going to come out of.
Keep him guessing.
Or what if he just wore a ghillie suit and just like on the sidewalk?
I saw a dude step out of some like shrubs.
Uh, it was in Queen Anne, I think,
wearing a ghillie suit and a scuba mask or like a snorkel.
I would actually don't know.
I would actually be afraid in that situation.
Yeah, that's weird.
I love it.
I'd have to approach the scuba man.
I can't just let that go.
He just like stepped out and walked away.
And I was standing there waiting for a bus like
just enthralled.
Just did he get on the bus?
No, he walked a different direction.
He had no connection with me after that.
It just two ships passing in the night.
What was the scuba mask about?
Where did he come from?
Where did he go?
Was this man caught on IJ?
I want to.
Why did you not follow him?
I'm actually furious.
Oh, man. I know. I really fucked that one up.
You would have been spotted so fast, though.
Yeah, I didn't have a ghillie suit.
I don't know. You look like a lot of people.
You would have just blended in.
Yeah. At least once a day,
I see someone who isn't new that I think is you.
That's fair. You should always be suspicious of people walking around.
They could be me.
I know. Minor disguises.
Terrifying. Like a snake costume with just my big fucking head on top.
Watch out for those snakes.
The snakes be sneaking.
That man wriggled on his belly, unlocked his jaw,
ate my six pack carton of eggs from the grocery store.
Well, she had his skin slithered his forked tongue at me.
Yeah. And all along, it was me.
So the weatherman.
The weatherman.
Secret for Binsky, he's got some nuggets.
I mean, what I always enjoy is that he just made this
between the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, just a little quiet side thing.
Yeah, like a sandwich cleanser as a director.
I think it must be like how many years did he lose to like pirates?
Like eight years, nine years.
He's like, I need I need a depressed Nicholas Cage having visions of SpongeBob
and just like fucking later hoes and women dressed as Abraham Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln cage in my notes, actually.
I it's always weird when a film you get in a cage,
but the film takes place in like a world where pop culture stuff exists.
Oh, yeah. Like it's always like Brian Gummell, like real news guy.
Like, OK, so does Nick Cage not exist in this universe?
What is the rule?
Oh, yeah. I would assume that that he wouldn't exist.
I have a theory now, but I'll get to it later
because it has to do with the unbearable weight.
That makes sense.
There were so many things in this movie that I had forgotten about that.
Just kill me like the tartar sauce monologue.
I love the tartar sauce.
I like it.
I'll say some guys don't.
Maybe not. Like most guys don't.
Maybe not most guys, just black guys.
I just I remember that.
I'll do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Don't isolate that audio.
Yeah. Don't challenge me with a good time.
Yeah. Cancel one third of your podcast.
That sounds like a bit of a laugh.
If Nixon is still here, I'm not worried about it.
It's just going to be me talking to myself.
I have never said anything problematic on this podcast, so it's not a problem.
Oh, God.
Tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce.
My hips are cold.
Well, so, Darrell, you said that this is one of your favorites, actually.
And I'm kind of curious about that, because obviously you've run the game
that you've seen every single movie.
So it's surprising to hear it in such high regard.
Yeah, this is kind of I consider it one of the
untalked about forgotten gems of Cage.
This is like genuine good.
And I don't know if I brought this up before.
I've definitely brought it up on my podcast.
There are certain films that I think you recommend to people
when you want to remind them that Nicolas Cage is actually a good actor.
And this is up there with them.
This is kind of like just sort of a mellow, just kind of like sad, grounded Cage.
There's not that many Cage-isms except when he's like running and throwing that pie
at that guy like, I gotta see my family.
They got a pie on me, man.
Which is great.
But it kind of comes in at some strange mid-noughties period where he's like just
he's coming off the back of the awards or nominations for adaptation.
He's just a national treasure.
We are on the cusp of the straight to DVD era.
It's this weird sort of midway point.
I guess if you think about it, it's kind of like an interesting juxtaposition with
the unbearable weight of massive talent because I think some may argue that this was one of
his last good, I'm going to use air quotes there, good performances that was on at the
cinema and then you sort of consider unbearable weight this movie where he's again, air quotes,
he's come back.
It's kind of this weird two tail ends of his career here.
I think it's a very understated performance.
It's a very underrated performance.
Loki, I think is just a very good film that you definitely, wink, wink, cannot watch for
full on YouTube for free.
Wink, wink, you can't do that at all.
That's definitely not how I watched it last night.
And also, I think this is some of the best Nicolas Cage's hair has ever been in cinema
as well.
I think good, a good clean cut.
I'm inclined to agree.
I know some people don't like it, but it's a, it's a haircut that you've never seen on
him before.
Like it's a very youthful haircut.
Different do.
Yeah.
It's very TV.
It does it for me.
Exactly.
It's the kind of haircut I want on my weatherman.
John Weatherman.
Yeah.
That's a TV name.
That's a bullshit name.
Oh, man.
Do you think whether people actually get shit thrown at them?
They seem so benign to me.
I don't know that I'd recognize a weather person.
I would throw something at Al Roker.
Yeah.
Fair.
Al Roker was weather, right?
Yeah.
I'd throw some shit at him.
Oh, he needs to eat more.
Well, he's too skinny.
Look, I'm not.
It's because he got like lap band surgery.
Yeah, but he looks funny now.
He looked better when he at least was like 50 pounds heavier.
There are some people that look better with more weight on them.
I agree with that.
Sorry, Al Roker.
And some people look better with a mustache.
Some people, they've had a mustache forever and then they shave it off and you're like,
the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
One of my apprentices came to work without his mustache the other week and he just looked
like a child.
I couldn't handle it anymore.
Are you a Jedi master?
What do you mean apprentice?
Explain yourself, man.
First, you're a snake man.
Now you've got apprentices.
Yeah.
I'm a journeyman snake man.
I train with the Jedi.
I train other people to be public snakes with mustaches.
My egg apprentices.
Yeah.
Well, you're not a snake.
You have hair.
Have you seen those Harry Snakes?
Oh, boy.
Never mind.
This man is unhatched apprentice.
Yes, he is.
I do like how we get the we get to see what happened to a little Brown Jr. and that woman
he used to lift.
Wait, what?
Davis.
That was Hope Davis.
Yeah.
Well, shit.
His wife, ex-wife and this movie.
Put it on a tombstone.
His ex-wife, his ex-wife.
There's actually like another grave between them.
Yeah.
What happens if you get remarried?
Do you have to like does the old body get exhumed so that your new wife can go in there?
Do you just throw him in the same pit?
Do you get a second?
Do you get a third plot?
Can you like double decker a grave?
Once you went back like bunk beds.
Yeah.
Just bury the old wife a little bit deeper.
You got to take a look on top deeper.
His wives, his wives.
You got to plan ahead for that.
You start out by digging one really deep grave.
Oh, yeah.
This guy's like your ambition.
Yeah.
It's like, I know I'm getting at least three.
I'm having many divorces.
Let's get this thing deep.
It was always one of my questions about like when people are trying to explain the idea
of heaven to me when I was a child, like you get to meet all your loved ones.
Like, what if you get remarried?
That's an awkward conversation.
I have a later.
No, everyone's chill in heaven, though.
You got time, I guess.
The Saint Peter just like rolls up one day to your ex-wife and is like, hey, you're needed
somewhere else.
Like, Sean's getting remarried.
You can't stay.
Like you have to go to other heaven.
Oh, not heaven to lesbian heaven.
Also, how fucked up is that?
It's like they have to be a part of your heaven.
Like, where's their heaven?
Like, do you have to spend your afterlife with all of their loved ones, too?
That's a good point.
Did my aunt really like me that much?
Yeah.
Spend an eternity with you.
Look, I love my in-laws and all, but I'm not I'm not trying to spend eternity with them.
You got to meet those people in heaven and just like his wife, like you've had an argument
like my blowjob lacked enthusiasm because I hated you.
And now we're all in heaven together.
What if that's the last thing you heard before you died?
Like your wife tells you that you die and then the next time you see them is when they
get to heaven.
Hold on.
I do.
That was another one that like just killed me because I forgot about it.
BJ's lacked enthusiasm.
He did not wait to open that note.
Oh, man.
No, he was just on it right away.
OK, so this movie is funny.
Like I watched it last night and it's obviously it is a comedy, but I didn't laugh a single
time by myself.
And maybe that's just the nature of like watching something alone.
But I was like amused and entertained, but I didn't laugh at all.
But talking about it out loud right now, I'm like, this is pretty fucking funny.
Yeah.
And that's how it gets you.
I know I'm very comfortable laughing at like depression and sad things
because I'm a laugh at me.
Yeah.
That's why I hang out with you.
I feed off of it.
I think the some of this is kind of like very meta about cage as well, because there's that
bit where he's doing some of the various like narration and also cage ASMR narration that
can put me to like comfortably to sleep like, yes, please tell me all the stories in those
sort of gravely deep, dulcet tones.
If you don't want your dad, if you don't want your dad to think you're a silly fuck, don't
slap a man with a glove.
You'd have to have a dad for that to happen first.
One nil this guy.
Yay.
Ouch.
It's okay.
If I've laughed for 32 years, I will laugh for a 33rd.
Wait, was that a dig at me or a dig at you?
Both?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Who needs him?
Who needs men?
I don't need him.
I am one male father figures who needs him.
He turned out really good strong boys.
We are the Sad Lads Club.
Everyone.
Everyone's welcome.
Not me.
I've got a dad.
A real strong.
Fuck you, buddy.
I bet my dad could dig up your dad and beat the shit out of him any day.
You know what?
I want your dad and my dad to fight.
I'm just going to throw my dad's like ashes in your dad's face.
It'll get all caught up in his fucking manly ass mustache.
My dad's still alive.
I just don't know where he is.
Like a where's Waldo situation.
Have you checked into the bushes?
He could be wearing a ghillie suit and a snorkel.
My dad's a scuba snake.
Everyone's going to make fun of me at the playground.
He's the apprentice.
One of these days he's going to come back.
He's like, I need you to take over the family business and just hand you your own snorkel.
It gives me all of these like old snake skins that he's used.
Like I don't want any of this.
Let me inherit your debt.
I don't want this.
Joke's on you.
This is both.
I still have payments on all of these snake skins.
No.
Oh God.
That would be a fitting way for my life to go.
What point was I making for my dad ruined my life again?
No, that was it.
There was those couples, that couple on the couch.
They're like, he was talking about his name.
He had to change his name to David Spritz because it sounded all weathery.
And like, it's like, I don't like him.
Like, I like him.
I like him.
He's like, he's got an asshole face.
I don't like his face.
And I feel that that scene was like very directed about like the split consensus towards Nicholas
Cage anyway, tackling this stuff about who we are and who we appear to be and where we
are.
And as we all approach 40 covered in like frosty all over us, which like interesting
side fact, there's recently a Wendy's that does these kinds of frosties open up by me
in the UK.
We're finally getting one.
So I have the chance to be hit by a frosty now.
So that's nice.
I hope it's because they know that you're Darrell Edge of the podcast.
They're like, it's that guy for better or worse.
Love what you do.
Yeah.
Big fan.
I got to see my father today.
I've inherited so many skins.
I can't show up with frosty all over me.
I don't want to look like a fucking fool.
Snakes are cold blooded.
I can't handle a frosty.
I mean, speaking of weird like male figures in the film, though, that subplot with the
sun and like the creepy counselor, I still don't really get what that's all about.
I think they actually could have gone harder with the.
Well, he was just where's that mute button?
He was just the boring as pedophile I've ever seen.
Those were some real dry line ratings.
That's my problem.
I was like, OK, he had the goatee.
I'll give him that.
But classic look.
Now let's talk about camel toe.
Oh, I've got some opinions on camel toe.
I don't.
I'm totally fine with the color camel toe.
David Shelley is one of my favorite characters, though.
She's fucking fantastic.
I love the placidity of her ordering cigarettes and then like strikes.
It's like, yeah, God, you're such an old soul.
Is it that easy for children to get like cigarettes in America as well?
As long as you're confident.
According to American film, and I can only base this on this movie and clerks.
Yes, you're not going to make any money by withholding cigarettes from kids.
It's fair.
If you sell them cigarettes now, you've got a customer for at least 15 years.
Back to Shelley.
I like Shelley as well.
She's a she's an awesome character.
I love just how much she doesn't care
how she wanted to take up archery to kill animals.
It's like she is probably going to be a serial killer.
Yeah. Like unless you age really gets his shit together.
Shelley is going to hunt her brother.
I just feel like it's such a good representation of an actual like shitty kid.
They did a great job of that, like her trying to shoot the bow and just like, oh,
yeah, oh, I don't want to do this anymore.
And it's like, yep.
Yeah. Nice parallel between the movies to Nicholas Cage
thrusting his enthusiasm for a subject onto a child that's not into it.
Yeah, for sure. So thrusting his enthusiasm is not a great.
So I was going to say like
better than enthusiastically thrusting on a child.
There you go. We have to cut.
No, you cowards.
See, you cowards, you'll cut nothing.
You cowards. That's right.
This is our first no edit episode.
Me and Darryl versus the world.
Full uncut audio.
Snake skins everywhere.
OK, so this movie's good, right?
Yes, I love this film.
I saw it like right when it came out on DVD.
I rented it from a blockbuster.
I really enjoyed it.
That'll take you back. No shit.
I probably paid cash to was a different time.
So you've all seen this a couple of times now.
Yes. Big reveals.
I mean, we talked about some stuff that you noticed,
but was there anything that like major, major takeaway?
I'm watching it on fresh eyes.
I like it. I think it's really well paced movie.
It doesn't let me wander much.
The big takeaway that I had as kind of a new memory of it was that
the music, the Hans Zimmer score is really fucking good.
Like it fits that movie.
It's sort of like anxious and weird, but also chill.
It could use a few more miles.
Every time SpongeBob.
I mean, I would I always sort of wondered
how it was they approached the casting for the character of Shelley
because they'd have to be the sort of caveat is like, OK,
you're going to be sort of Nicholas Cage's like daughter.
At one point, we will be doing a close up on your camel toe.
We'll do some ice skating stuff as well.
It's like, what was that bit in the middle?
It's like it's 2005.
There's no real child laws.
We can just do what we want.
I'm off to make another Pirates of the Caribbean movie in like six months.
Prosthetics technology hadn't advanced enough to do a fake child
camel toe at that point.
You had to go authentic.
Damn, just like real gorilla recording, too,
because you got to catch it in the right light.
Unsuspecting a real candid cam.
That absolutely was a website in like 2001, for sure.
And you can't cut this out
because it's a huge character point for Shelley as well.
It's all factual stuff.
God damn it. My dialogue is invincible.
Stop trapping me with this shit.
That's the best thing I like about being a podcast guest is
trapping my hosts. Edit around that, you losers.
Good luck, assholes.
Assholes being me.
Take that future.
Yeah, right.
That guy's probably evil.
That's true. Is it goatee?
I'm going to do it. He's going to leave it in.
Good job, evil Peter. Yeah.
Evil clones, evil snakes.
What are we talking about?
All right. So the weatherman on on the grid.
Good, bad, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad, bad, bad.
Where's this one? Where's this one pin?
I think it's a great performance.
I think it's a solid movie.
I good, good for me.
Yeah, this is a good good on my books.
Darryl, we kind of already know, but put it on tape.
I'm going to put it right there on tape.
I would put it somewhere between the fiber grade and SpongeBob.
Good, good. One of the faves.
Any any final thoughts?
Sucking fucking chucking rocks.
That was such a I loved his like the last conversation
we see him have with his father is just like,
I'm sure you have to chuck rocks in this in this shitty world.
Sometimes you have to chuck something.
It's like, oh, you're supposed to be a fucking great writer, sir.
And those are the last words you said to your son.
Yeah. He also had a living funeral, though.
So, you know, what a what a guy arrogance, maybe.
I don't know. But I still want my funeral to have like a three drink minimum.
I don't want any fake stories about me.
I don't want to talk about how such a great guy
mine is going to have commemorative coins minted.
I love that. Oh, that's tight. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Hawaiian shirts for me.
And it ends with a mandatory suck and fuck.
What? I want Hawaiian like suits.
Hawaiian suits and a mandatory suck and fuck is a pretty good way to go.
Do Hawaiian suits have formal pants or formal?
I mean, like they're still Hawaiian printed, but like shorts or pants shorts.
How short short short short.
Yeah. And I think you don't wear a shirt underneath it.
It's just the jacket.
I like it.
Pedro Pascal and Nick Cage, both would look good in Hawaiian shirts.
Agreed. Not at the same time, though.
It's too much. No, too much.
Especially if you were on acid.
That'd be a lot. Yeah.
I think just Nicholas, maybe not acid and like
sitting across from Nicholas Cage would be too much.
But it's Nicholas. That man's done some masculine, we know.
Yeah. At one point, he wanted to tattoo
dreadlocks in his hair on his scalp.
I still don't understand that concept. I don't either.
They're not three dimensional.
So the unbearable weight of massive talent, his hair in this box may.
Well, his whole vibe is very.
Chris Evans.
Yeah, what we all the three of us watched this together and five minutes
and I'm like, he's really like channeling like
real life Chris Evans in terms of his look.
Brown jacket, hair, that beard.
I think it's a like my favorite contemporary Nicholas Cage look.
Like my favorite post 2018.
Like body type, his beard is like a good length and a nice
like it got lined up real nicely.
Obviously nicely dyed. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's how dark it all is, is what.
Yeah, I wouldn't have minded a little salt in that pepper.
But I mean, I guess the whole point of his character is he's, you know,
not that he ever went anywhere, but he's like trying to recapture, like that,
that get that next big movie that's going to really put him back on the map.
So a little.
They asked to project you a little bit youth and strength.
Yeah. And gray hairs don't equate strength.
Fuck. Yeah.
I mean, I know that because I exclusively beat up people with gray hair.
Damn it. Yeah. You're next.
All right. That's fair.
And you're a big strong boy.
I'm a big strong boy.
I'll wrap you up in my snake arms.
Snakes don't have arms.
I don't know if you've ever seen a snake.
Yeah. I don't know what snakes you're looking at.
It's like a medieval or Renaissance paintings or pre Renaissance paintings
where every snail is just like a dragon size.
It's like, God, have you seen snails terrifying?
Did you want Europeans or don't did you?
Did Europe just used to be like covered in iguanas?
Is that where we get dragons? Probably.
I mean, you're looking at me.
Unfortunately, I wasn't there in the 12th century.
Coward. I'm going to assume.
Yes. I think like, I saw it.
Me Lord, a snake with legs.
We now know that's a lizard.
What was being described back then?
You know what? Dictionaries were much smaller.
They didn't have words for everything.
So I remember a while back, someone was celebrating
like the anniversary of the first, like alphabetical dictionary.
I'm just like, how infuriating would it be before that time?
What was the cataloging? I don't know.
Well, you just get a new word.
You add it to the end because otherwise you had to handwrite the whole thing.
So you didn't want to have to like start all over.
It's like, oh, fuck, I forgot about Ruda Vega.
I got to start from the beginning.
That's mad.
But I guess you could just start
the page Ruda Vega would appear on our Dvark.
That's two A's.
I got to start all over again, retranscribe everything.
Damn, this illuminated manuscript.
Yeah. What did we do before words were written down?
Did we just like go off vibes like we categorize this one was like, oh,
then that one is, oh, it was just a category.
We went purely on vibes and feelings, which mostly ended up
in like burning women at the stake.
It was a different time. We've moved on, guys. Come on.
It was a simpler time. Yeah.
You're only allowed to burn them if they try and burn you first.
Yeah, seems fair. Yeah.
I think that's the rules.
It's the golden rules.
So unbearable weight of massive talent.
We saw this at like our quarter mark in this whole process.
So there were some things that I think we didn't like appreciate as much
the first time, but for the most part, it's like pretty easy watch. Yeah.
Digging more into like his career, especially during like
the straight to DVD years, there is a very
palpable sadness to the beginning of this film.
It seems a little too real at times.
Yeah. As somebody who hasn't quite peaked yet.
I don't know. I haven't felt these feelings of downtroddenness,
so I couldn't identify. But when is your peak?
Like 49 usually around like 330 in the afternoon.
It's all downhill from. Oh, you're just talking about today.
You haven't peaked. I got it. Yeah.
Drinking the sadness away.
That's the secret of podcasting.
We've all already peaked.
We've got a fake beard drawn on.
We're just waiting for someone to send us to a house in Spain.
There was a period of time on my Zoom where I had accidentally turned on a filter
that added a beard to my face, but I already have a beard.
So it was just putting a beard on a beard.
It's like a hat on a hat.
It was really confusing because I couldn't quite like it looked like a glitch or something.
And eventually I finally was like, oh, there's a setting.
You like that guy who goes to court for his kitten.
Yeah. I'm prepared to proceed anyways.
I can assure you I'm not a cat.
I challenge you to prove that you're not a cat, sir.
Cats don't talk.
That we know of.
I'm just saying these cats are smart.
Then you put three of them in a trench coat.
Can you imagine the sheer number of things they could knock off of tables
if there were three of them in a trench coat getting them to newer heights?
Just all three at once.
Yeah.
Now I got a vault on it where each hand is a cat head.
That's five.
That's five cats in a trench coat.
Too many cats.
Yeah.
Right now it's just limp arms hanging down.
Just a broom.
Come out of the room and a plunger on either end.
There you go.
Real Vincent Adulman vibes.
Yeah, I think I think five is too many cats for maybe the optimal amount of cats.
Can the cats coexist long enough because they could get territorial?
Does its belly start hissing?
Do you start like seeing like a kind of loony toons fighting inside the trench coat as well?
I don't know.
Like these are why the apes get their own planet and not the cats.
You know.
Good point.
How long of a trench coat do you need for the human centipede?
Like obviously pretty long, but how well would it hold up?
Sometimes I still quote human centipede.
Just that guy from good.
Yes.
No.
When I remember how many legs that I've got, which is to prove it.
Thank you.
Thank you for clarifying.
Yeah.
Human centipede is terrific.
Did you ever watch the second one?
I never watched like the sequels.
I was like, you know what?
This is fine.
No, like one lives on fine.
It lives rent free in my mind, but two is the landlord because
it goes like full fucking meta where it starts out with like a security guard
watching the original movie and he's like, I could do this.
And then he like just starts kidnapping people and he has zero medical credentials
because he's a night security guard at like a turnstile and starts sewing people mouth to asshole.
And it does not go well.
And pretty soon you've got corpses in the middle.
It's bizarre and hot.
But I think a trench coat would have improved it
because then you wouldn't have to look at the dead ones.
Yeah. You just cover them up.
Yeah.
It really does reveal which ones are alive and dead, though.
I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah.
We talked about the actual movie.
Yeah, it's great. I love it.
We were talking about a movie.
The unbearable length of massive centipedes.
I remember with the unbearable weight, like our first viewing of it,
not being completely sold on it, not really liking the third act
when it turns into an action movie.
And I still maintain like, be nice to see him like wrestle with the fact that he's a murderer now.
Yeah, like he definitely kills it.
Yeah, it's just fine with that.
Like just having to be a little weird about it.
That's all I'm asking.
But upon rewatch and I was like, oh, I'm going to kill him.
Upon rewatch and being so much more within the Stockholm syndrome
of only watching the cage movies, I loved it.
Yeah, you do have to let it be a movie at some point, too.
I didn't like in our original watching.
I don't think I acknowledged how much it mirrored the progression of adaptation.
Yeah.
And that one even gets a little bit into an action movie in the third act.
And I got shot, isn't that fucked up?
And it's terrific.
I mean, just as a nice little homage back to that one.
And what better way to pay some respect to adaptation than not even acknowledge it?
I love the unbearable weight when it came out.
Just because I got told who to email, I got to go to like
a kind of advanced screening of it, but it was just really one of those things where they get.
I mean, he's like such a big quote, celebrities or social media
influencers just to create some buzz about it.
And then I'm just there like a stain hoodie going like, I belong here.
It was like a weird thing because this was like the first sort of big cage movie in a long time
to come back to like big screens and stuff.
So I was like sat there like a concerned dad watching their like kid go to like school for
the first time or something being like a school play like, oh, God, like I hope he remembers his
lines. I hope everyone likes him like I do.
And he got some like big laughs and was like, oh, my boy still got it.
He can do it. He's going to be okay.
And I felt this parental pride just like watching the movie.
And I loved it.
Like I've loved the unsubsequent views, even though I think that in many ways,
this is like just such a vehicle for Pedro Pascal, if nothing else.
And I have no problem with that because I'm so on board with like Pedro Pascal now.
And I wish we could all find some passion in our lives like he has for Nick and this cage in real
life and on screen as well.
It's weird watching because when we first watched this, I watched a lot of interviews with the cast
about this film and that cage gives a good interview and his press circuit for this movie is
clearly him being so uncomfortable with him being a meme.
I feel like a lot of movies just he's trying to face the fact that he's actually trying to
be a meme.
I think more so in dream scenario more recently, but he's like the only celebrity who's been,
I guess, memed to the extent that he has like who else is just having a losing their shit compilation
go online.
I mean, Mel Gibson, but that's
Yeah, from a performance perspective, no one really.
But you know, but not as much.
Yeah, that's different, but that's really like a one note kind of vibe.
Great ass.
Yeah.
Pacino?
Yes.
Now I know your type.
All right.
Well, I also like, I think this just confirms my theory that Nicholas Cage just loves dressing
up like old man because he does it in pig army of one, not necessarily dressed like
one, but he's just a bald old man in dream scenario.
I think part of him, he just loves to be just like a fucking like weasley old guy who
doing that Peggy Sue voice.
He loves to be like a crazy little guy.
He just fucking loves it.
It's probably in his contract that he has to have at least three days of shooting in
comfortable attire.
He's like, I'll do everything else in leather jackets and tight shirts, but you got to give
me at least a couple scenes in a cardigan or a bathrobe.
I mean, that's, you know, you, you set that standard on day one on, you know, shoot day
one and they have to keep it.
Jake Johnson has a great story about how on New Girl, he wore his like trailer slippers
to the set and someone's like, are those your those slippers?
Like they were in my trailer.
I thought they were wardrobe and they're like, OK, I guess.
And he got to wear them for the rest of that show.
Whereas Mac Greenfield is like, yeah, you have to wear a suit and those fucking shoes
for like 12 hours and I get to wear these.
I would hold out until like 60 percent of the film is in the can before I'm just like,
I'm wearing this now.
What are you going to do?
Replace me.
Good luck.
That's expensive.
This is the Wesley Snipes scenario.
Yeah, I'm not going to open my fucking video Photoshop eyes on me.
Yeah.
What you don't know about this blade three.
Wesley Snipes is just such a fucking diva and doesn't want to do anything.
Hates the director.
Ryan Reynolds hates Ryan Reynolds.
So that the opening scene where you first introduced Blayden, he's honest.
He's in a morgue.
All Wesley Snipes has to do for the scene is open his eyes like his eyes of like shoot open,
but he refuses to do it.
He just won't do it.
So they like CG in him open in his eyes and it's terrible.
Yeah, it looks really bad.
No, early CG is the best CG.
I stand by that.
Ghost Rider one man.
Fuck, that's so bad.
Ghost Rider one holds up shockingly well.
Blade two.
The Ghost Rider holds up.
The water.
Yeah, fucking dusty boy.
Wet boy.
The wet bandit.
Yeah, go back and watch some black on.
Oh, my God.
Spawn is incredible.
CG and spawn is.
What's the huge thing that cape Malbo Malbo?
Yeah, Malbo.
Yeah, that scene is so egregiously bad where its mouth is just like hinged open.
Yeah, and it's like, Spawn, you are my servant.
I'm going to make you do how things your voice is better for this.
Oh, man, I thought Spawn was going to be so fucking cool.
Me too.
Oh, well, maybe we could get a new spawn movie.
We won't.
Nobody cares about Spawn anymore.
I don't know.
He's fucking still trying.
What's his name?
McFarland.
Every every six months like McFarland, like we'll talk to anyone who will interview him
and be like, it's happening.
We're 25 years out of the 90s.
Nobody needs Spawn anymore.
Yeah, look, if we're not getting National Treasure three, we're not getting a new spawn.
That's the agreement.
Nothing else happens until National Treasure three.
No, that's the deal.
That's the deal.
Deal.
Malbolja.
The day they get turtle top on board, the day they locked down Trent Reznor for Spawn,
I will believe that it's happening to play Spawn.
No, to do the soundtrack.
Oh, yeah, because he does fucking kick ass soundtrack.
Oh, yeah.
But nobody else could do a spawn soundtrack.
No, I want Danny Elfman to do a spawn soundtrack.
Nobody else could do a successful spawn soundtrack.
I didn't say successful.
No, I said it, though.
Any.
Now we're moving the goalposts.
Yeah, obviously, because I didn't like your answers.
So I'm changing the game.
It's kind of this podcast works.
Yeah.
So on this podcast, we're taking 64 Nicolas Cage movies, the bracket style,
and we're going to figure out what the cage is to film is as decided by Nick and myself.
Perfect.
I'm not even going to put that at the beginning.
I wouldn't.
OK, so this movie, I don't think we ever touched on it, but why the fuck did it get made?
I think the right is Tom Gormican really like Nicolas Cage.
So I got to like speak to them and like my podcast somehow.
And I was like, with a movie studio is like, how did how did they agree to this?
And like, yeah, they were just on board.
So I think the movie studios have always had faith in our boy.
I think it's just an interesting premise as well, though, that it's a Nicolas Cage movie
about Nicolas Cage becoming Nicolas Cage and also battling Nicolas Cage, co-starring Pedro Pascal.
It brought me lots of joy.
I wish I had a Nicolas Cage shrine in the secret room where I live, but I just like,
I want those face off wax work figures in my house.
It's grotesque. I'll give you twenty thousand for that.
I think it's maybe my favorite scene.
I love the acid scene, but I think the reveal of his fandom is probably my favorite.
I think so.
The whole premise of this film is just like, oh, Nick Cage is, you know,
we all think of him as like this weird, like kind of has been like bygone actor who
just whose career is just completely like, oh, I'm going to be a
man, but he's so much of his later work that came out before this film.
And they even reference part of it in this film is so good.
So like Mandy is referenced in this film, but like Pig came out before this.
Joe came out before this.
Like he has such solid work after this.
It seems odd that two normal people who aren't obsessive like me,
like they still think of Nick Cage is like a bad actor.
I think it's group think a lot on. Yeah.
You know, you hear it. It's like, oh, he's a shitty actor.
He's over the top. He's wild, whatever.
And then everyone's just like, oh, yeah, that's true.
Look, look at his big weird eyes.
Well, you don't do the homework and you only watch the like
Internet compilations of him reciting the alphabet.
And you're like, well, yeah, that's not going to be a good movie.
It's like, well, no, it's a great movie.
It's going to win. Yeah, I love that movie.
But like, you know, I'll have those conversations.
I've told the story where I was at a wedding
and I told someone I was doing this podcast and like
Nick Cage is a terrible actor. What's he been in?
And the guy just starts like naming like movies and gets to like,
you know, his second hand naming films.
He likes like, wait, is Nick Cage a good actor?
I'm like, yes. See, you proved yourself.
Yeah. It's like, well, this is kind of rock face off leaving Las Vegas.
The weatherman, Peggy Suga, wait a minute,
that moon's draw. Oh, fuck.
Guys, I got to leave this wedding right now.
I got to watch Moonstruck.
Guardian Tess.
Guardian Tess is a terrible film.
I don't know if it's terrible, but it's not in a conversation for me
when I start telling people about Nicholas King.
No, it wouldn't be high on mine either.
I barely remember Doug Chesnick until watching the unbearable weight of massive talent.
OK, here's the thing we really need to talk about, though.
Paddington two is pretty good. Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
Yeah. OK, so have you watched Paddington two?
And for context, for anyone who's listening to this, who doesn't who hasn't seen unbearable weight.
What's wrong with you? Go watch it. Turn off this podcast.
Pedro Pascal lists Paddington two as his third favorite movie of all time.
Have you watched it, Darrell?
I have. I have seen it.
And I think the references to Paddington two, whenever I've seen it in the in the cinema,
I've always got like the biggest laughs because you just don't expect it.
But then you're like, yeah, no, Paddington two is great.
We all have Paddington two.
And he brings you to tears.
The bear gets arrested. Why would you arrest a bear?
Why is the bear not using his bear powers to kill?
That was my thing at the end when he's like when the train's going underwater.
I'm like, use your bear strength, dude. You're a bear.
Oh, he had that really good hard stare. Yeah.
And that was intimidating. Yeah.
Like the animators did a great job on that.
Animators in that whole movie did a great job. That's a visually stunning film.
I kind of liken Paddington two to being like the UK's national treasure.
Like he goes on a little heist. He gets like he has adventures.
It's good. Yeah, I felt I got the same amount of energy from Paddington two as I did from.
We have Nicholas Cage. You have Paddington.
Yeah. I mean, it's a fair trade, I think.
It's like over here, like anytime someone of like high, high significance, like a royal dies,
someone will post a picture on the internet of like Paddington two, like holding their hand.
And it makes it look like Paddington is the Grim Reaper.
Just leading them away.
And if you're not a fan of the royal family, as I'm not particularly,
I like the idea that the last thing they see before it all goes dark is just this like
bad, boring marmalade on you and just unveiling his hood.
No, it's like a reservoir dog scene where Paddington's got you like tied to a chair and
like stuck in the middle with you. And he's like, just pouring marmalade on you before.
I don't know, bear eating you.
I think what I want going forward, you know, how they're building like the universal monsters
thing going forward. I want to see eventually like Paddington versus Winnie the Pooh,
who is the ultimate jammying bear. Like Paddington's like, I have the power of a
cuck and I won't fight anyone. And then Winnie the Pooh is like, I love eating boss.
So I think there's two incredible bears that will be fighting going forward.
You know, I don't know who a third good bear is.
Then Sam Jackson turns up and he's building a team.
That's how it has to be.
Teddy Ruxpin is the bear that got left out. He goes completely rogue and like he's the villain.
Someone gave him a bad tape to play.
Yeah, a corrupted cassette.
Can they fight, can they fight terrorism? It's like a second plane has hit the honey tower.
I don't have to cut that out. I don't know. Is that too soon? Is that too soon?
20 years. That's like honey.
You can say whatever you want because it was all a conspiracy from the start.
So it's all fake news.
Don't talk to your apprentice about it.
I'm just saying, man, check your Reddit sheep. Wake up sheeple.
And I've come on this podcast to tell you all my findings. All right.
Wake up.
9-11 was an inside job. The bears did it.
It was the donkey.
It was a fucking Eeyore.
God, it would be Eeyore, wouldn't it?
OK, I mean, yeah, what do you guys think? This movie is it's a weird movie.
It's very meta. It's very self-referential. It's very cage referential.
But like as a movie, it's pretty fun.
I think it holds up a lot more than I thought it would.
And I wound up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would on a rewatch.
It certainly appeals heavily to us.
I want to know how somebody not balls deep in Nick Cage's career would take the movie.
Like, I don't know what my grandma would think about this movie.
She'd probably think it was nice.
She's like, oh, that was nice.
Like, I'm sure if you just know the meme that is Nick Cage, this movie's for you.
But if also you're weirdos like us, this movie's also for you.
Yeah.
Oh, OK, here's my string board theory.
My crazy fucking like.
Oh, yeah, good.
This is this is this is the center of the cage reverse of my fucking string board.
Nick Cage plays all these.
The actor Nick Cage exists within this universe for all the Nick Cage movies are real.
So the movie Face Off is based on a real story in that universe.
Wouldn't all of them be?
Yes. It's a very weird world.
But the actor Nick Cage exists in this universe to play those character,
to play those characters who are based on real life stories.
So he only does true story with me.
So Mandy's a true story.
There you go.
So the way the Wicker Man's a true story as well.
There you go.
Yeah.
Every Nicholas Cage film is just Nicholas Cage reenacting a tragedy.
Yes.
Because he's just like a grief tourist and just loves, loves the drama.
There's one hole, one glaring plot hole in your string theory.
World Trade Center.
Yeah.
Yeah. He rebuilt the towers just to do that movie.
No, it was fiction from the get go.
He went, he went from ground zero to ground hero.
You're starting to learn my terrible jokes where I'm going to take them.
Also, oh God, that's scary.
Also based on this theory, the rapture happened.
True.
Twice.
One of them was kind of alien.
So like Angelians.
I think I'd like the Nicholas Cage, uh, bear multiverse crossover where they all
converge at ground zero and then they look down and there's just like honey at their feet.
Maybe honey does melt steel beams.
And then like honey aliens, honey terrorists come down.
It's like giant bees, giant bees cause nine.
I like that bees are just honey terrorists.
Well, we did steal it from them.
It's true.
We did start this war.
That's a good movie.
Movie had a point.
Jerry Seinfeld had a point.
That's all I'm saying.
It was on his butt and that was me.
Cause it's a stinger.
That's a stinger joke.
So all right.
At this point, I don't know that there's too much more to say about this movie.
We haven't said anything about this movie.
There isn't that much to say about this movie.
It's a love story romp for Nicholas Cage people.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, yeah, you don't go to see this movie if you don't know or like
Nicholas Cage, there's zero, zero overlap.
But yeah, I mean, do you guys have other thoughts, other final things
you want to say about this?
I mean, other than like people should watch it.
If they listen to this podcast, you probably like Nick Cage enough to watch this movie.
Yeah, it'd be weird if you were listening to this podcast without some liking for Nicholas Cage.
I think that's a fair amount of our friends.
Nobody likes us that much, though.
No, I don't have anything else really on the subject of Unbearable Weight.
It's a terrifically fun movie.
Yeah, I agree.
It's one of those movies where I think if you have absolutely no interest in Nicholas Cage,
it's probably not going to appeal to you.
But I've had people sort of come to me like after the fact and say like,
oh, I watched that Unbearable Weight movie.
It's actually really fun.
So I think it's like, you will enjoy it.
I saw like one review on Letterboxd, which I think kind of sums it up,
which I think like on one hand, if you are Nicholas Cage build, as we are,
you'll get the most out of it.
You'll pick up on a lot of the Nicholas Cage things.
It's kind of like the best of bullet points of Nicholas Cage that you're probably aware of
this movie hits.
But if you're kind of lesser enthused, it's one of those movies where maybe you won't laugh
at everything.
And if you don't laugh at like Cage and Pascal doing acid together, something's wrong with you.
But for the most part, it'll be one of those movies where if not laughing out loud,
it'll be that kind of like through the nostril, like kind of like laughs like that,
which I think you'll enjoy it.
On paper, like a very interesting idea.
For me, it kind of holds up.
I can see how the execution maybe like could put some people off.
Again, like we say, when it just becomes an action movie in like the last third,
I hoped they were going to have some like more of like the Nicky character,
like the internal Nicholas Cage dressed like he's Terry Wogan in the view from like the 90s.
I hope they do a sequel so then they can talk about all the Cage films if they're real
fucking fans and not poses.
Yeah, I think Unbearable Weight will work its way into my like,
I'm home sick from work kind of movies.
Like they used to be just like the oceans movies.
I fucking love staying home from work and just watching oceans 11.
I don't even have to be sick to enjoy doing that so long as I'm not at work.
But I think this could easily be one where it's like, oh, you know, I have an off day.
I'm all by myself.
I get to just be on the couch with my dog and watch this movie.
Perfect.
Of both these films.
Yeah, The Weatherman has held up since I first watched it, you know, almost 20 years ago.
And I think the further away we get from the meme of Nick Cage or like if he does actually
retire like he's planning to or even in, you know, 10, 20 years when he's not really in the zeitgeist,
this movie isn't going to be easy to recommend to people who aren't here for it.
You know, I was thinking slightly off of what you said here with Nicholas Cage's comments about
future retirement and stuff.
He's saying like, oh, he's got like four or five movies that he wants to make.
So but I was thinking that doesn't mean he's limiting himself to four or five movies.
It's like there's maybe four or five like solid roles he wants to hit, but he'll fill in the time
between. So I think we've still got maybe maybe he'll play Spider-Man in live action.
Yeah, maybe he will.
We can say we were here for all of it.
The cage to TV transition starts now, baby.
And then we'd have to do weekly recaps.
I don't know. I think that's it decided.
It sounded fairly definitive.
What?
I don't know. Are we going with Weatherman?
Oh, yeah. I mean, my votes for Weatherman.
It's you know, it's a it's a real delightful movie.
It's I love the cleanness of his performance and like starting from the very beginning,
he's knee deep in tension and like as he's waiting for this job offer and the
shittiness of his separation from his wife.
And I like the way he handles it, which is poorly.
And I like watching him.
Yeah, just he plays it really well.
And he's a kind of a self-absorbed father.
And he it's an enjoyable movie for me all the time.
Yeah.
Plus camel toe.
I do have one fun, random Nicholas Cage story from this week, though,
not about Nicholas Cage, just an experience I had.
Nick and I had lunch yesterday and we were at a local restaurant bar
and Pig was playing behind Nick on the TV.
But the subtitles were like way off sync.
So they were like a whole scene out of sync.
They were like they were 10 minutes out of sync.
That's fucked up.
So like when he's like going and talking to what's the guy's name?
Amir?
No, the restaurateur, the restaurateur, when he goes and talks to him at first,
the subtitles are for Finway, Finway.
The subtitles are for all the stuff going on underground.
But where it's synced up perfectly for me is when he's like going and sitting
with handpan and the subtitles are him dressing down the gastro chef.
So it's just Nick Cage saying just destroying the soul of a small child.
Fantastic.
It was astounding.
Yeah, that's a good mashup.
It was great.
Yeah. More of that.
More child abuse going forward.
That is something that Nicholas Cage movies have been sorely lacking.
That's that's that's the line to go out on.
I know, right? Solid finish to that episode.
A real laugh riot.
More child abuse in Cage movies, please and thank you.
There it is.
There's the same trombone.
Yeah.
Perfectly timed.
Yay, we did it.
We did it, everyone.
What a joy.
What a pleasure.
Thank you for inviting me back on.
Maybe we can do it again next year.
One appearance a year.
Lock it in.
Oh, no, we're speeding up, though.
It gets faster from here because we slow down every sequence.
We'll see you in six months.
Yeah. So next up, we're going to have our matchups where it will be two guests arguing hard
for one movie each.
Oh, interesting.
One that you really go super hard for.
And Sean and I are going to dress up like old timey judges with powdered wigs.
I was going to dress up as Judge Dredd.
I mean, you can do that too.
You can just dress as Judge Dredd.
As long as you're a judge.
Just put a wig underneath it.
I just if eight millimeter goes forward, Judge Dredd,
if eight millimeter goes forward, I want to see who goes hard for that movie
and then stop being friends with them.
Yeah. I who loves snuff that much.
Can have a normal judge, Judge Dredd, Judge Reinhold, all the big judges.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
I can get you.
Can we get you a dry hole?
Probably. He's got to be on cameo
and one judge, Judy, to rule over all of us.
Yes, the one judge to rule them all.
And she picks Primal.
Yeah.
Darrell, do you want to do your spiel about what it is you do
and where people can find you?
I guess so.
You can find me on my own sort of Nicholas Cage podcast.
That is Cage Rage, a Nicholas Cage podcast in which
I have currently covered all the movies of the man I called
the Golden Hog of Hollywood, Nicholas Cage on my journey to true Cage Nirvana.
That's on all the usual streaming services.
And my second podcasting venture is called Getting Defoe You,
a dedicated Defoe podcast in which myself and I believe
another guest of this podcast, Petros Patsylovos, we have joined forces
to cover all of the Dehives, all of the DeLows, all things Willem Defoe,
all aboard our Defoe commotion train, run all the business at Defoe You pod.
We're in the middle of recording our third season now.
It is a lot of fun as a come and join aboard the Defoe commotion train.
God, that's so polished.
Yeah, we're on social media.
You can find us.
If you try, Peter barely can pull together the names of our 12 Patreon supporters.
I do have it in front of me, but.
Coward.
I know sometimes I do it off the dome, but yeah, thank you to our supporters,
Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam, and to our Cage dancers, Ira, John,
Freeman, Lance and Nathan.
And who? Yeah, got it.
Motherfuckers.
We're a well-oiled machine.
Yeah, we're something.
Oh, man. Well, oiled.
Did I ever tell you about that dream I had?
It was like maybe 15 years ago.
I was a fireman and I was like running up this staircase in a building that was burning
and I kick in the door and there's this mom and her daughter and they're like,
obviously trapped by the flames on the other side of the room.
And I just make eye contact with them and then I tear open the front of my fireman suit
and I'm just like, where's the fire?
Just start rubbing baby oil on my chest.
And that's when I woke up.
I'd watch that.
I don't know.
Very fantastic.
Yeah, that's more of the things I dream about.
Being a sexy, sexy fireman.
Bye bye.
Yeah, you know, some of our friends have goatees,
but that's just because they can't grow the in-betweeny bits.
Have you checked?
That they can't grow the in-betweeny bits?
No, that that's the reason why they have the goatee.
I've never asked.
There's three options.
They can't grow the in-betweeny bits.
They're a pedophile or.
They're spate.
They're their ship captain.
Even from the past.
Yeah, even past or future.
That's true.
Yeah.
So there's four.
I mean, that just goes with evil clones.
My past and future are definitely evil clones of me.
Only now are you getting the correct version.
I feel like one of them has this one of them just has the money shops.
I do good mud and chops.
Yeah. So do those evil clones have dads that taught them how to shave?
Is that why they're so evil?
That's the only reason to have a dad.
And audio engineers.
Oh, yeah.
Goatees, but they have to have a ponytail.
Yeah.
That's what keeps them on the.
It can be a skull it too, but it's got to be a ponytail.
Yeah. You can't have a goatee and like a nice haircut.
It's goatee and something that hangs past the shoulders.
Yeah.
Yep. That sounds right.
Nice.
Darrell, what is the general like feeling of Hawaiian shirts in England?
Like, can you handle seeing that much color at one time?
I say this as someone who unironically wears them all year round because I love them.
They get unfairly maligned as ugly shirts over here.
It's like, oh, what's the occasion? Are you in like a stag do or something?
It's like, no, I'm autistic. Let me have this.
I'm fatherless and autistic. Let me have my fun.
On construction sites here, we have something called Aloha Fridays,
where people wear Hawaiian shirts on their construction sites.
It really makes Fridays feel nice. I like it a lot.
That's the kind of construction worker I want in my neighborhood.
Yeah, absolutely.
I've got one with like nice two cans and like flowers and stuff all over it.
It's good.
I remember when we were moving once, Meredith had like
tried to give away all my Hawaiian shirts, like tried to goodwill them like behind my back.
And now you're divorced.
And now we're divorced. But last time I saw them, like when I went to a wedding in Virginia,
last time I saw them, they were just rocking Hawaiian shirt. I'm like, you bitch.
Betrayer.
Well, really, you can't have a relationship where both people are strong in the Hawaiian shirt.
See, that's a good point.
Fair. Yeah, I never thought about that. I was being selfish.
Yeah.