Oh, God. Oh, my God.
She just likes being the face of the cast.
Yeah, that's a I'm the.
I mean, you literally are the only one on camera.
That's true.
If it makes you all feel better, we can turn our cameras off, too.
Well, if it makes you feel better, I'm naked.
So that's it. No, that's how we record.
Usually we just do this for posterity sake and like propriety.
Yeah, I don't know.
Me and Donnie just like to watch.
Just like Craig.
Craig listens to Craig.
That's right. He doesn't have eyes.
Do you guys find that now that you've done this for any amount of time,
the only gifts you are ever given by loved ones are Nicolas Cage themed?
God, yes.
I think I've only received like one or two Nicolas Cage gifts,
but I'm not very loved.
So I have two pillows, two picolas cage ornaments.
Nipple cage.
I have a nipple cage card.
Oh, my God.
I have the two pillow.
No, three pillows, one hand towel,
the pants, a Nicolas Cage sweater
with his face on a bunch of cats and the the picolas
cage ornament plus a picolas cage ornament.
I like that.
What does picolas cage look like?
I'm guessing he has just some real juicy cake.
Just dump truck. Yeah, he is.
Big old fucking ass.
This is just how he looked when he was in his 50s.
You know, he was pretty fickle at that time.
He was thick at that point.
Well, thank you all for being on here.
You know, you guys have one over on us and that you're all actually in the same room,
something that we never do.
But we're also all in Washington state.
That's profound.
So at this point, have you guys covered every two date
Nick Cage movie that you just mentioned?
We went chronological, unfortunately.
Cowards.
We started five years ago.
So yeah, that must create like a real like unfortunate.
I don't know, season three or four.
Like when you really just get into like the tax time,
you pay the ghost and shit like that.
You can equate it really to Return of the King,
where it's like at the very end when they're all sitting in the pub,
it's like you've been and seen shit that these people will never experience
in their lives and you are forever changed and bonded.
That's the third one, right?
Yes, that is the finale of the.
Yeah, I always got like halfway through reading the Twin Towers and then like
episode six, Return of the King. Yeah.
Right. That's right.
So I have a question because Nick and I talk about this constantly.
Can you guys watch other media and have it not be weird and have it not be weird?
I thought it was going to be about dicks.
It's always not. I mean, yeah.
Can you can you think about any other dick than Nick Cage?
Whenever I watch a non Nick Cage movie now,
I'm very confused as to why Nick Cage isn't in it. Yeah.
I mean, we're kind of getting points with that with some movies
where it's like, you know, Nicholas Cage would have been fun in this one.
Not usually confused.
Sometimes just grateful. Yeah.
Yeah. Like watching that god awful.
I think it was like season three of American Horror Story with Kathy Bates.
I love Kathy Bates. She's one of my favorite actresses.
But I thought like if they really had balls,
they would have had Nicholas Cage play Madame Lallari.
You already own her mansion. Why not?
That would be nice.
They wouldn't even have to like get him to leave home for a shooting episode.
Yeah, exactly. He'd feel real comfortable.
He'd just be shooting in his slippers.
Like the retirement plan. Yeah.
Look, you're going to need to hit at least five million dollars
for him to put shoes on.
That seems to be the going rate. Seven for pants.
I like to imagine that you hit five million.
It's like, OK, he's got shoes.
We're not really, really ready to prepare or like to splurge on pants.
It's in his writer.
The extra two million is for me to take the shoes off to put the pants on.
Oh, yeah. Right.
That's how he gets you.
He films in the wild, so don't tell him that he's filming.
This is truffle pig.
So I know this is something that like you're like, oh, yeah,
yeah, so I know this is something that like you only have to.
You have to see to appreciate.
But we bought these mic stands fairly recently.
And I'm really loving the fact that Sean's the only one that's so short
that it's like pointed down at him.
And it looks like he struggles to like lift his head to speak.
Like you need to get the yellow pages for Sean to sit on.
I am on a very tall stool. I'm not this big.
Yeah. Yeah.
I have you guys watch that the best times.
The what? The TV pilot he did in 81 with the Crispin Glover
and Frickin Jackie Mason.
No, we have not watched this.
This is real. It's all on YouTube.
It's probably the only place you could see it.
How long is it? It's an hour long.
It's a TV pilot.
We're going to we're going to check back with you guys in an hour.
Wait here.
We'll be back.
No, that sounds fucking amazing.
Yeah, I love it. Terrible.
Oh, it is. It's terrible.
You see what I'm saying? Look out.
Here comes Nick. Exactly.
Yeah, it's like an after school special from the 80s.
Like written by kids for kids.
Oh, my God. Kids are so dumb.
Yeah, they're the worst.
They don't know shit.
And so is this show.
OK, speaking of things that are absolutely the worst.
Welcome back to Cage Match.
Colon around about meeting Nicolas Cage.
I'm Sean here with my cohost Nick.
I'm Nick and our producer Peter. Hello.
And we have three special guests this week.
Why don't you guys introduce yourselves and tell us what you do
and what you're from?
Well, yeah, tell us who you are and why.
Don't tell them your name, Linda.
We're going to talk the shit out of everyone.
My social security number is my greatest fear.
And our podcast isn't it always
that'll work for when our generation's blue hairs will just tell us
we're on a podcast.
And yeah, my name is Linda.
I Linda Castro.
I am from all we three are from cages.
Kiss the Nicholas Cage podcast.
Yeah, long running.
You guys have been around since, what, 2017?
I'm not. It only feels like, you know, 2019.
Yeah, that makes more sense.
2010, 25.
We've. Yeah, whatever.
It all blends.
COVID happened in there.
That counts for 10 plus.
Time stopped in 2020.
Haven't we been doing this forever?
Like I'm stuffed for me after the rock.
That one's Donnie.
I'm Adrian. Yeah.
Hello, I am Donnie from Arby's.
Well, it's better than the boy who blew on Pornhub,
which is still going strong, apparently.
You have to elaborate on what the fuck that is.
Explanations, please.
Yeah, you're right in my queue zone.
I got to hear about that.
We did an episode on the boy in blue.
Oh, the greasy bottom boys.
Yes. And I may have had a few drinks.
We bought every disc on Amazon, apparently.
Yeah.
One of the reasons it cost over $60 on Amazon.
I may have had a few drinkies and a few drinky poos.
And I suddenly came up with the boy who blew
and that led to the creation of a fan made the boy who blew Pornhub.
Incredible.
Which for a while, we told people, please, full of a God,
don't find us and don't join us.
But people be people.
How about you, Adrian?
But people be people.
How popular is that channel now?
I don't want to know.
It's always weird when you pull up Pornhub and you're in a room
and like, you know, you're pulling up Pornhub.
But then first thing, it's like, boom, naked lady or dude, whatever.
And it's like, oh, I can't let people see it.
Like, no, wait, that's what I'm here for.
Yeah. The boy who blew.
Yeah. I mean, it's weird that you're not in the library doing it, but sure.
Oh, man. Public libraries.
Benjamin Franklin Gates, what are you doing?
I was going to say, did one of your dogs just give a guffaw?
That's my that's Benjamin Franklin Gates. OK.
Also, since we lost that audio, thank you, Alison, for naming my dog.
OK. Oh, burglary.
Do you think they were cool crime jackets?
I assume they were butt naked.
Nice. With a black domino mask.
You can't steal nothing unless you got the black domino mask.
Yeah, you're right. You understand crime.
Crime and criminals and criminals.
Yeah. OK. Learned everything I know from swipers.
No swiping.
This podcast, we take my dog is
we take your dog out back.
Yeah. No, he's only a puppy.
He didn't shit on the ground.
Yeah, we take 64 in a cage movies,
a bracket style, and we're going to decide what the best cage movie is
is decided by Nick and me and the goalposts moves every episode.
Yeah, that's pretty accurate.
We are in the round of 32, which gets us to our slicks teen.
Thirsty to I don't know.
It's too much work. That was thirsty.
God, you can really hear the dog drinking on these microphones.
Get it, Ben.
So color out of space.
You know, so we've now watched these movies twice for the show.
So it's kind of been an interesting experience
going through all these and seeing them again.
I don't know if you guys have really done a ton of extensive
rewatching on any of these movies.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
This one we watched twice because we did a commentary once
and then we did the for real episode.
And today I just re listened to our episode being like, OK, what was
what do we say?
We write down some jokes.
Yeah, they're fresh now.
We don't know them. Yeah, that's true.
Well, I'm going to save you guys some time.
I'm not going to read it to you like I did to these two. So.
OK, so so you've watched these movies a fair,
fair handful of times, a fistful of cages.
What when rewatching this, like, say for this episode or
or just re listening to your own podcast to catch your own jokes and laugh again.
I do do that. Yeah, I know.
Do you do you find new things about it?
Like, well, I don't know about you guys, but I have a really shitty memory
when it comes to movies.
So it's oh, I just have a really shitty memory for reasons.
Sandwich reasons. Yeah.
Take a dump, Ben.
Sorry, Benjamin Franklin Gates just took a big well, I mean,
big for a puppy dump on his little puppy pad thing.
This puppy. He did do it.
Is he going to eat it? Eat it.
I'll be right back. You got to talk for me.
I think Ben gave his commentary.
That's the national treasure right there.
You were saying something smarter than I was talking about dog shit.
I doubt it.
We actually I got a reminder a couple of days ago that was like, hey,
remember this day so many years ago?
And it was from when I saw this movie in the theater.
And I was like, oh, hey, this is a great timing.
That's nice.
I'm amazed you've seen it in the theater.
I feel like nobody went and actually watched this in the theaters.
Yeah, they gave it a crummy release.
Like they do that a lot.
But it but it actually played in the North American box office,
which most the cage movies of the 2010s didn't do.
They just ship them to Eastern Europe and the United Arab Emirates for some reason.
Yeah. Yeah, I got it.
It did get an international theatrical release.
It's just it just it didn't get as big in North America releases should have.
Yeah. I don't know if that was just because the distribution or Richard Stanley,
because he's he's kind of been that way with some of his films.
They haven't really gotten a lot of big, big releases.
I mean, well, he also hasn't done anything since Island, the Doctor Moreau.
Really? So he's like your ultimate cult director for that.
You know, like all this stuff's super obscure.
Yeah, I don't know if you all were aware of this, but there is
and the only format you can get this in because, well, of course, cassette tape.
There is a audiobook version of The Color Out of Space,
which is read by Richard Stanley.
No freaking way. Yeah.
You're fucking dog, man.
He's a puppy.
He's a popper.
Chouin is a declaration of independence.
Oh, my God.
I really hope so.
If only I did actually try and find like a chewable declaration of independence for him.
But well, you just need to get like one of the squeaky newspaper toys
and just write declarations.
He's a dog.
Actually, you don't even need to write anything on it.
He's the dog. You can't read. That's true.
Is that against the law to lie to a dog?
I think you can lie to dogs.
I think dogs should be allowed to vote.
You know, it's better than the current system we have.
Yeah. But no, I've watched this a couple of times because I love
love of horror movies, but even more so, I really appreciate
a lot of Lovecraftian style films because it's its own kind of subgenre
and they can either be done really well or just you're better off
not having seen it before.
It's really an 85 15 split.
It really is. Yeah.
I remember hearing about this movie coming out about a year before it came out.
And I remember being real excited because this is my favorite Lovecraft story.
A lot of Lovecraft is not fun to read, but this one actually read pretty well.
Sometimes a little bit racist.
It was actually Color Out of Space that changed my mind on whether or not
Nick Cage was a good actor and gave me the initial idea to do this podcast.
I honestly liked him and his character in this.
And I liked his kind of slow transition, but he still had that caginess of
I'm going to do a really fucking amazing accent with this character.
I like how like his craziness just involves him
just changing every affectation about himself.
And if I remember correctly, I think Linda had mentioned it
when we watched the movie, too.
He based the character voice on his father.
Yes, that's that was my theory, because he he will in
Vampire's Kiss.
He said that he based that voice off of his his father,
who was a literary professor.
And in this, he's talking about how he never wants to be his father.
And when he's like pretending to be his father, he uses the same Peter Low voice.
And I think with a lot of Cage films, you can have you.
You get an appreciation for the efficient auto that this man puts
behind the word fuck that nobody really can top.
I mean, true, has she kind of comes close to it?
It's fun.
But Cage just makes it artistic.
Dead falls. Wonderful.
Yeah. Dead.
Oh, fuck.
I just I was really excited for this movie because I mean, it's it's
HP Lovecraft done right for once.
And you have Richard Stanley.
I mean, my God, that if there were ever a director
that is like on the same level as Cage in the craziness factor,
I you know, it's like a match made in heaven.
It's still a shame that because he had a trilogy of films planned out
and then immediately got canceled after this movie.
Yeah. Well, he had like some abuse allegations.
Who does it now?
He got canceled.
Well, the movie got canceled because he got.
Right. They went down together.
Well, if you just change your name, nobody can catch up with you
and just constantly.
Yeah, I'm Stan Richards.
Not to do that.
Let's go ahead with that trilogy.
Like he did on the island of Doc Moro when he pretended to be an extra on the film.
That's true.
We've lost a lot of good movies, unfortunately, to not even like
stuff like that, but just people in general just kind of
dropping in headlines because I know those also.
I still really have hope one day we might actually get it,
but I know it won't happen.
Guillermo de Toro's in the mountains madness.
He's he's completely said he's done chasing that dream.
Yeah. And I know I remember he first said he did when of all things,
he saw the movie Prometheus and he's like, yeah, I can't do my movie now.
This movie kind of did that.
I'm like, please don't say that.
Prometheus doesn't deserve that.
No, I think this is a really nice movie.
It's not even just the director, the cast, the music, which is beautiful.
This just the color gradation.
Absolutely. And how things slowly degrade throughout.
It was just such a beautiful, beautiful transition where it wasn't rushed.
I'm always astounded every time I watch this movie about just
how good it looks on the budget.
Yeah. How beautiful the CG and all of it.
Definitely.
No, it's all tasteful because everybody who worked on it was doing films
in the 80s, you know, so like everybody, everybody
actually knew what a movie looked like.
They had to solve their problems without CGI.
It's just, yeah.
Well, and I love that it's it's not maybe not horror and like the usual like,
I don't know, like a slasher flick or necessarily a monster flick way,
but it's just purely unsettling.
Absolutely. Tension building and gross.
Yeah. The the villain, the enemy is always kind of unknown in this one,
which is a nice change unless you want to say that weird praying mantis is the baddie.
You don't want a villain with a quotable name like Bye Bye Man
turning up in every movie.
Why wouldn't you want that every time?
I mean, it is good. It's best for marketing.
I do market just a color T-Mobile.
Oh, my God.
Well, it's interesting.
I know in my art school days, I always thought, how would I adapt
this story if I wanted to adapt into something like how do you
how do you make a color scary and how do you make it?
How do you depict an unknowable color in a color medium?
Magenta. Magenta.
Yeah. Yeah. The most effective to me was those ice cubes.
Like any time you saw that where he was pouring his whiskey or whatever.
Bourbon bourbon enthusiast.
Buck Scotch says this guy.
Local bourbon drunk. Yeah.
Maybe saw something. We don't know.
I never said that.
Tommy Chong, Tommy Chong.
He is in this movie.
His fucking like little mon recorded monologue at the end is still so good.
And so, yeah, the sped up slowed down audio.
Yes. Yeah.
It makes me want to get a reel to reel just so I can leave notes.
It's just a color.
But it burns.
I mean, he could be reading Dr.
Seuss and still like with those effects, it's the creepiest goddamn thing in the world.
Does anyone have a child's book with us right now?
Like, can we read something and then speed up and slow down?
It would only be appropriate for you to have a child's book.
That's true. Yeah.
I do not have a children's book.
I've already brought up Pornhub on my phone.
I'm not allowed to touch children's books for 12 hours.
They'll put you on a list of you. Yeah.
Yeah. That next knock is Chris Hansen.
I have Charlie the Choo Choo.
If you're familiar with that, that is not essentially a child's book,
but it kind of is.
Does it read like an old Thomas the Tank Engine story
where they just brick up a train in a abandoned tunnel to make him watch forever?
Kind of. Yes. OK.
And if you look at the cover, there's kids that look like they're having a good time,
but they're actually screaming. Oh, perfect.
This is something that was made off of.
I think it was the Dark Tower series. Yeah. Yeah.
Nick Cage is the gunslinger. Oh, I want this.
Oh, man. That would have been so beautiful.
What? You don't want to keep Matthew McConaughey.
We don't. He could still be the man in black.
No, Nick Cage would be a great gunslinger, would be a great Roland.
I mean, I love Idris Elba, but I mean,
he's hard to beat. Nicholas Cage.
Yeah. I mean, we saw it in Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance. Yeah.
Sorry. Spirit of Vengeance.
Vengeance. Vengeance.
Miami is Eastern Europe, the country.
That's pretty accurate.
This is a really surprising movie.
I was really glad that it wasn't one of those recipes for disaster.
And it was something that kind of in a funny way,
I felt people started to take Cage a little seriously with it.
And that kind of because you had like this and what we had pig after.
And there are people like, oh, my God, he's not actually full on crazy all the time.
He actually can do stuff.
No, this is like
right kind of when we're getting into what we call like the cage of songs,
where he has his third or fourth act of his career,
probably fourth, because the third would be the tax of the tax years.
Yeah. And now we're in his final stages.
I think we're like in fifth now with like scenario and.
I hate a five act.
We're nearing his final form.
Oh, we'll get a six act.
That's true. Prestige television. Right.
Yeah. Do you think they'll be there'll be another trash fire in between then?
And now do you think there'll be another kill chain?
Yeah. Oh, of course.
I mean, statistically speaking.
Well, we do have that new horror movie he's supposed to be a part of to coming out.
Oh, Long Legs.
Also, the surfer, whatever that is, that's not going to be great.
Oh, come on. That sounds awesome.
I don't know. Surfer looks good.
I don't know anything about it.
Oh, but yeah, I feel like this is it's a beautiful movie.
It's really unsettling and strong acting, especially from the kids like as like Jack.
I mean, he's so young.
He he's like, I don't know.
I feel like it's always a grab bag with kids like who knows,
you know, how they're how well they're going to do.
Yeah. Most of the time, it's going to be awful, right?
Yeah, because they're kids and they suck.
Yeah, they're bad.
I don't know how to act.
Kids bad cops bad.
Yeah, OK. Nicholas Cage. Good. Good. Yeah.
All right. We got we got we got our bearings.
That's our first T-shirt. Yeah.
Kids bad cops bad. Nicholas Cage. Good. Yeah.
Yeah, we do need some merch.
Yeah, I'm still saying Garland Green did nothing wrong.
Perfect cage match.
Garland Green 2024.
Yeah, Garland Green did nothing wrong.
Except for when he's a lieutenant, then he's bad.
It's in the title, people come on.
Battle Lieutenant Port of Call.
New Orleans, New Orleans has kind of a similar arc to Vampire's Kiss
in terms of how.
Over the top, he gets by the end.
Don't transition to Vampire's Kiss yet.
And don't put those two movies in the same sentence.
One of them is pure gold, and the other one is.
I do miss a guanavision.
You get that movie's name out your mouth.
Oh, I'm a big
Abo Ferrera fan, so it gave me the help.
Why was his soul a black guy?
It's like the reverse Darth Vader.
I guess.
No, I do love this movie, and I do love that.
It's it is like a little ridiculous as well.
I mean, they have like I mean, he's milking alpacas.
Got to get it hot from the teeth.
Drinks it straight from from the boob.
From the boob.
One of the great things about this, though, is Cage has done so many movies
with the family shit just sort of shoehorned in there
because he wants to have dad moments, dad, kid moments.
And in this one, he's a dad who becomes unhinged and says hurtful
shit to his kids. It's such a plus.
It's so real.
Just like mom and dad.
I bet Weston was watching this like too close, man.
Or Weston.
That's OK, Weston.
You're the voodoo child.
Why can't it be more like your brother, Jor-El? Yeah.
Which one is the like bodyguard looking one and which one is not?
Weston's the one that Sean made fun of for being fat.
Oh, OK. Weston is who I was thinking of to then.
He's the fat metal kid. Yeah.
This is kind of like Exorcist three for me, where it's like when you've seen it
and you know that scene that comes up eventually with the nurse
in the hallway and the shears, you know, it's coming.
It's still creepy.
I still get the same vibes in this when you have the wife,
when she's just losing it and at the cutting board.
Oh, yeah. I can't watch that scene.
Going and going.
I forgot the series of events towards the end.
When shit's going off, he kills the mom, son monster,
goes down, has a drink with his family, watches some TV,
gets shot in the back by the sheriff, by the sheriff,
but comes back to life to try and kill Howard to kill Ward Ward.
Yeah. Is his name Howard Howard? Howard.
I never knew. Yeah. Yeah.
Howard Phillips.
I think his full name in the credits was Ward Phillips.
You mean Howard Phillips? Yeah.
Yeah, that made me confused.
Well, his name is supposed to be Howard Phillips.
I get it. You read the book.
I didn't read the book.
No, he's not in the book. I mean, it's his character.
It's given up sometime in the movie.
I don't remember when I do love how they made.
They named the one black character after the very famous racist.
Yeah. And then had him live.
Buck tradition. Yeah, I do like that.
No. Fuck racists and cops.
There's an overlap. That Venn diagram is about the same.
Yeah. You're saying the same thing, Peter.
Well, you thought he was an English gentleman.
He was Elliot Roger in 1930. You know, even for his time, though,
other races were like, dude, you're making us look bad.
Reading somebody's letters posthumously seems like reading
somebody's text messages like after they die.
And that's something I don't need. Yeah.
I don't need Sean to know what I say to you about him and vice versa.
Don't ask. Yeah, I won't tell.
Most of us are content to let those die with us.
But then you get like H.L.
Menken's who say, no, no, 60 years after I die on Earth, these.
So my opinion, my public opinion will just die
and everybody will realize I was a piece of crap.
I'm pretty sure that like my recorded cause of death
will be swallowing my phone.
Like I'm going to be like, oh, fuck, the end is near.
Swallow it. Leave no evidence. Hide the crime. Yeah.
You know, that's just straight to the butt.
Don't put nothing on that cloud.
The best part about dying is if everyone finds out they can't do anything about it.
No, I mean, in general, like, I don't know.
This movie is it's fun.
It's beautifully shot.
Like, was there anything that really was gained from watching it the second time?
I've watched the movie like five times now, and I always enjoy it.
I don't know that there's anything really new I came to with this watching.
Yeah. I mean, I I think it's artistically really good and it's fun.
And I love the performances.
It suffers a little bit in the dialogue.
It just does. I don't know.
And the Vinius sucks.
Well, yeah, she fuck. Oh, my God.
I want to talk about her stupid ass wiccaness again.
Or Alexandrian. That would be wrong.
Was it Alexandria? No, it was Wiccan.
Well, when we made her, she goes zero to bitch in like 10 seconds.
It's amazing. You immediately know she sucks.
Well, this is why she summoned these demons and come on.
Yeah, it's all her fault.
It is her fault.
Yeah, she's the worst.
Oh, I got a big question.
Linda, did you cover this movie in Bedknobs and Brimstone?
For Flicks? No, we did cover.
Well, we came on to Cage's Kiss to do to cover season of The Witch. Oh, well.
Why did you remind me of that fucking thing?
We're going to definitely watch that one.
Yeah. Oh, God, I'll make your dick hurt.
You need a doctor at that movie.
Oh, that's a stellar review.
There were choices made in that movie.
You have some brilliant actors with like naturally European accents
and being forced to give these weird like Boston accents.
It's the only accent that Cage can do.
Yeah, it is a perfect Boston accent.
Yeah, I mean, Cage tries for the accent and like,
I think it lasts for maybe five minutes.
Sounds right. Incredible.
So long. I do accents in my D&D games.
Let's go Red Sox.
Speaking of racists.
So what's the deal with the race?
What's the deal with the races?
With the Deathly Hallows symbol all over this movie, I mean, it's like
in Levinia's hair, she's got like a hair clip.
That's like the Deathly Hallows.
You got the triangle with the line going down the middle.
And then there's the attic window where the mom works.
It's same thing.
J.K. Rowling stole everything she's ever made.
I don't think she stole it from this movie.
No, but I mean, that symbol is not this movie transcends time.
I like it within the lore of Lovecraft, the Lovecraft mythos.
There is the Necronomicon.
It is Muscatonic Muscatonic University.
There's one copy of it.
It's there.
And she's just got like off the bookshelf.
Yeah, like a paperback version of it.
Yeah, which they do make.
I wasn't made with people's skin like, come on.
I have sold one of those.
Yeah, there's the there's the book you'll find in the stores.
That's calls itself the necromancy.
I sold it at Barney when I worked at Barnes and Noble.
Yeah, that's where I go for all of my
food.
Say, honestly, that would be really,
that would be really fun to go to a library and say,
you want to check out the necronomic on.
They give you a book bound in human flesh written in blood.
I want the audio tapes and ancient Sumerian.
I'm sorry, I wanted the paperback version.
Oh, no.
That one's just made a foreskin.
Where do you guys put this movie on the grid?
Good, bad, bad, good, good, bad, bad, good, bad, bad.
Pretty high. Yeah.
This was one of those like rare oasis is in the Caged Desert.
You know, like I think we all breathe the sigh of relief when we got to it.
Yeah, this for me was kind of like because in our show, I always read
the most wonderful reviews people have for these films.
And they always tend to say no matter how bad this movie sucked,
they always compare it to the rock.
That is their standard of greatness.
We're and that's kind of where I'm at with this.
I know it's like this is this is the rock for me, for those people.
It's like this was my I love this with cage.
It was perfect with him.
He was wonderful in it.
And I didn't feel like wanting to stab my eyes out after I saw it
like Wicker Man.
Hmm. Sorry.
I mean, at least in Wicker Man, he did kick someone.
And that was kind of lots of people.
He kicked Lili Sobieski in the tummy.
Tum Tum. Right in the tum tum.
Zeke on our show, we got it.
We got an animated intro and it has it has my animation of cage
punching sister beach from for the.
I love that still that and Jessica that and Jessica Beale blowing up
are my two just favorite things. Yes.
I have a good time.
Find find our next episode and just listen to Peter lose.
Oh, my God. Yeah, I could not handle that episode.
We really hit a certain pocket that tickled me tickling your.
You guys are all right.
What do you guys think on this movie?
I still love it.
I think I think there are parts of it that are a little overlogged.
I think the middle kind of takes a while, but by and large,
I still thoroughly enjoyed this film.
Yeah, I think it's still a lot of fun.
It's kind of a niche watch.
I don't think I could just throw it on any time,
but I enjoy it when I watch it.
So when I'm ready for it, I'm going to have a good time.
Yeah. Terrific performance by Nick.
He just like get some really good deliveries.
There's some really, I don't know, just weird shit happening.
Like talking about milking alpacas alpaca boobs,
dunking tomatoes into the trash can. Oh, man. Yeah.
What is that smell?
You know, the cancer smell, you know, you know, they're better than anybody.
Yeah. What a dick comment. Yeah.
Yeah. Right. Like what an asshole.
You you know, my my cancerous wife, you know, that smell.
Remember how bad your boobs smelled?
Oh, he's a leg man. Yeah.
I do still love that line about like if she had no legs,
you could just put her in his carry on luggage and take her wherever.
Well, I like I don't know.
I thought I thought that part was kind of sweet.
Like he's he's like just letting her know.
Like she of course, she had a mastectomy, must have.
And now he's like, hey, I'm always going to love you.
Yeah, it's definitely one of those scenes and one of those dialogues
where you do actually get some of his
pre coloring personality and, you know, what makes that family kind of work?
Like that's the wife's cancer and the grandpa's goggles are the two things.
I'm like, there had to be more to this at one point, because with especially
with the cancer, because we're getting to body horror later and they don't really
like, you know, she feels about her body because of the surgery,
but they never really do anything with that.
Oh, man. Do you think there were like even more boob analogies and like
metaphors like with the milking alpacas?
Yeah. Big alpaca blob monster. Yeah.
That's why he got the alpacas because he needed some tits. Right.
I'll make sense now.
Seriously, how great would that have been if he did that?
If he had the alpaca monster, he's like, OK, son, go in there and milk it.
What if the mom had gotten merged with the alpacas
and then mom could have had thousands of nipples?
She'd still be alive. Yeah.
He wants to. Yeah.
You're still my golden llama.
The wife with a thousand young.
Oh, God.
No, but I do love that they show that they're very much in love.
They're still horny for each other.
And it seems like a somewhat happy family.
And I mean, they seem pretty cool with having Ezra
squatting on their their farm.
Yeah, except Lavinia, who repeatedly sucks. True.
Yeah, she's the worst.
I don't know.
Yeah. Jack's cool.
The Vinny and the one is just like a stoner.
Whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Lavinia blows.
I mean, if you have Tommy Chong living on your farm,
yeah, you're going to smoke pot with them. I know.
Like he's got the fucking dank as shit.
Come on. Yeah, he's got the good shit.
Yeah. You want to come over her coffee?
You know, I don't even think they hired him for this movie.
He just moved out there after he got out of jail. Yeah.
He's just living on that land and they were filming.
Yeah. Like Tommy, just say some weird shit when you're high.
We record you. Yeah.
OK, man. What do you want to name that?
Thanks for letting me squat on your land, man.
Hey, whatever you do, don't Google my name, OK?
So, yeah, we usually put this up on.
We call it a Venn diagram, but it's been pointed out to us
that it is very much not a Venn diagram.
It is more of a grid. Yeah. Matrix.
It is quadrants of good movie.
Good cage. Bad movie.
Bad cage. And they're within and what nots.
I don't have to explain this.
That's why we already talked about it, too.
Yeah, but we didn't. Do we finish it?
I mean, you guys didn't say your things. I go.
OK, good movie. There we go.
Good. Good. Nicholas Cage performance. Good movie. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, another one knocked out of the park.
Nailed it. We're pros.
Do we have anything else we want to say about this film before we move on?
I think we could talk about it for an entire evening.
But I think we've kind of gotten to it.
We've milked this llama.
All packers are different.
We miss milk this alpaca for all it's worth boobs.
Yeah, it's it's a fun film.
And it brought Richard Stanley back to like he he said that Nicholas Cage
brought him back to Hollywood and renewed his faith in Hollywood.
He was hiding on a mountain in France.
Did he do something after this?
No, he got canceled after this. Oh, that's right. Right.
As he was supposed to do the he had he had planned to do the Dunwich
Horror and Call of Cthulhu. Yeah, he did.
And we won't get those.
Yeah. Well, maybe someone else will do them poorly.
Yeah. Traditionally, that's how it goes.
Just do what Lion Gates, Lionsgate did.
Take a terrible Uli Lamel movie shot in a basement that's just about torture
and then just call it H.P. Lovecraft's The Tomb and never explain it.
Hmm. It's kind of the same thing with Dagon.
It's just you can't really it's hard.
You just make your own interpretation, especially for a monster that in the end,
it's just kind of you're told is horrific, but nothing really other specific.
I mean, we're all in sort of the same area.
Do you want to start a Kickstarter?
Let's do it. Let's just finish the trilogy.
Fuck it. I don't know shit about anything.
And we've managed to do this for 40 episodes.
So why not? Let's let's go, baby.
Trust me. I've watched enough poorly made shark
films that were made for literally five hundred dollars.
And if those can get distribution, follow your dreams.
We'll just have to get I mean, all Lovecraft stories are public domain.
Hey, so is Mickey Mouse now.
I'm not going to die on that hill yet.
They're trying some they're trying some chicanery.
Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Disney.
They'll kill you.
So vampires.
There's 30 years in the past.
We usually find some odd connection between the two movies
and I like there's a through line to be drawn from Vampire's Kiss
to Color Out of Space.
Like we wouldn't get this movie or this performance if we didn't get Peter
Lowe and didn't get his initial that character.
This is the first all out crazy cage performance that we got.
Yeah, Peggy Sir got married was sort of the test run, but this is where it really took wing.
I mean, he wanted to get a real bat for fuck's sake.
Exactly. Yeah.
I mean, he had his moments throughout.
So Peggy Sue is a good one.
What was the why does he love so much?
Racing with the racing with the moon.
He got to do some of that kind of insanity.
Oh, yeah. No, you're right.
He was some of the insanity in that time to rip out his own teeth.
Oh, God damn it.
So, I mean, he played around with it, but this was the first time
that he had to really be like crazy, completely unhinged,
totally fucking lunatic.
Well, it also fucking with the random people on the New York streets.
It's a non union movie.
So they're shooting without permits with people who don't know they're in a movie.
And you can really tell when people look at some of those scenes
as he's like dragging the steak around with him.
You know, those mimes.
They were in a movie. God, I love those mimes.
I hate those mimes.
I hate mimes.
Those goddamn mimes.
The torches of the town.
The domestic violence mimes.
Well, you also get to see that like silent, like the actually
German expressionistic acting where he like
he had the same thing going on for like he had the Nosferatu
hands in the attempted murder scene and Peggy Sue.
And now he's just like living his dream with the whole vampires.
Because Robert Beerman, the director, really was into letting him go for it.
God bless him. You know, like that was it was the best choice he could have made
to do what Nicholas Cage just do it.
Yeah, I was thoroughly impressed when he's starting to lose his shit.
And he like chases Alva through
or like down the stairs before down the stairs
when he chases her into the bathroom the first time.
And he just does that standing just leap onto the desk in loafers.
Yeah, you've been doing box jumps.
I've been doing box jumps that in easy.
There you are.
Oh, I brought you soup.
Yeah, just the back of the suit like dry.
I can love it.
I've got to say, I've had some really awful,
god awful bosses, and this is just triggering as hell.
I mean, TST
like was his excuse.
So, oh, I just tried miscalin for the first time.
And she's like, I did too in high school.
You know, I understand.
And he's like, cool, cool.
Also, fuck you. Come into work late.
Yeah. She overshares with her boss
too much, like telling him that she did masculine in high school,
like when he's at her house being like, oh, well, yeah, OK.
I wasn't really sick.
It's like, bitch, stick to your life. Yeah.
It's like my boss is going to my boss is crazy and might rape and kill me.
We're not going to pay your rent anymore.
Go to your job. You need that job.
And then the next day she comes home, she goes straight to a room,
doesn't come out. Her mom's like, come out of your room.
Breakfast is ready. I don't know what's wrong with that girl.
Hey, bitch, fucking eggs.
And then immediately it's like, hey, brother, do a murder for me.
And he's like, I will.
That's family. Yeah, that's how family works, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'd like to think Donnie would avenge me.
You mean if I got if it's on Tuesday, sure.
Yeah. Tuesdays are usually pretty open.
Yeah. Just got to know.
You don't want to fuck with your weekend.
Do your best to die on a Monday. Yeah. Come on, Linda.
Yeah, I want that week.
Oh, the dollar in this movie was fun.
Like it wasn't it was insane.
I don't know.
There was so much that kind of bordered on the surreal
that I really like going on with this drunk and horny.
I think I was talking about that earlier.
Yeah, I just love like how that's an excuse.
It's like, well, you know, I was kind of drunk and it was a little bit horny.
You know how you can be.
Yeah, it's like, oh, shit. Yeah, I have been drunk and horny.
That doesn't excuse it.
It's therapist.
We get yeah, we get Elizabeth Ashley as this therapist.
And and later, Elizabeth Ashley as his hallucinated therapist,
which is even better.
How many times have you guys watched this film?
Oh, we watched it a lot.
Getting ready to record this movie where we did.
We went through it all.
And the movie, the movie, in terms of how it all hangs together,
is kind of a train wreck, but you still kind of delight in what
and what you wound up with.
You know, I remember every watch and we were doing the Renfield episode.
Weird because he's not a vampire in this movie.
Allegedly. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, he says it a lot.
I don't know. I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire.
I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire.
There was a there was some confusion last time we recorded
this as to whether or not he was speaking of confusion
because you are with cage now.
I have to ask this, though, it may not be something you may remember.
Linda, you know what I'm going to talk about, right?
No. Right.
The are you talking about pasties?
No, about the confusion as to the actor who played the main in Rockula.
Yeah. Rockula.
Oh, God. Have you seen the movie Rockula? No.
The dude is a dead ringer for Nicolas Cage.
He is the longest time we thought Nicolas Cage was in the film Rockula.
It is about a vampire who rocks, who runs a nightclub that rocks out.
He does 90s style rap like white guy.
Well, he's a new metal. He does rock.
Okay, yeah.
This movie has amazing things.
That's awesome. Has
Thomas Dolby is pretty amazing.
Yeah, but but he really is a vampire, but he's also the DJ.
That's all good vampires are.
Yeah. It'll change your life.
Now, this is a this is a good descent into madness movie.
I really like that.
And I wasn't expecting that because I remember I remember I was a kid in a video store.
I think we had rented this long, long back and just a little bit stuck with me.
And I remember being bored as hell with this because I'm like, I wanted a horror movie.
This is not a horror movie.
We watching it as an adult and watching again and again and again.
It's just I it made me appreciate
how well Cage can do descents like that,
yeah, because it's just some some actors and actresses don't really grasp that.
But he just he goes for it.
Yeah. I could really see that.
The first time I watched this movie was on an airplane.
That's right. Terrible way to watch.
Yeah. Yeah. I had the aisle seat and I like turned it on and I was like,
well, I got to watch this so we can record when I get back from this trip.
And it starts going. I'm like, OK, maybe maybe this isn't right.
And then it starts going like just boobs all over.
And I was like, fuck.
Like the flight attendant was coming up and I'm like trying to cover up my laptop
so she can't see and make inferences that I'm obviously whacking off.
But then the guy across the aisle leans over.
He's like, I love this movie.
And he's like watching it on my laptop, too.
It's like, OK, that's somehow weird.
Hey, he was lucky when people are watching shit.
I could see it on their plane.
It's goddamn kid's shit.
But I've never heard of like, what is this?
I want to slap the tablet on the kid's hand and like, you damn jimsy kids,
you don't know what you want.
Watch vampires kiss.
Why can't you watch something wholesome?
Yeah.
I'm as kiss with Jennifer Beals and pasties.
Thinking of watching things on the plane,
me and my sister were on our way to our grandfather's funeral on a plane,
and I brought a portable DVD player and me and her were going to share earbuds
and we were going to watch House of a Thousand Corpses.
Oh, yeah. And I hadn't plugged in the air phones yet.
And I forgot there was animation on the menus like they do.
Oh, yeah, there is.
It started up.
Everyone on the plane heard, well, shit the bed.
It's like, oh, awesome.
So, Nick, going back to this film, did you like pick up
any new subtext or things we missed the first time around?
I don't know if I picked up anything new.
It was it's just incredible to me that every second
that Nicolas Cage is on screen, which is like the whole movie, is a banger.
Every like every delivery rules.
The writing is just incredible.
This is the most memed up with him as the priest in the beginning of Face Off.
Yep. Yeah. And Wicker Man.
This is where we got the name for our podcast.
I mean, yeah, it's a fucking it's such a fun movie.
And I really thoroughly enjoyed it more this time than the first time.
Having kind of knowing where it was going, how it all connected to my first time
watching it, I'm like, what the fuck is this?
It's so just completely unhinged and doesn't make any sense.
And I was watching it today and it started to, you know, get a little weird.
Still early on. I just thought.
What are the symptoms of rabies?
And I looked them up and they're all there.
Like, oh, that's what this movie.
He just got back.
He just got bat bit and has rabies and he got bat bit and a little bit horny.
Yeah. Listen, we all get a little drunk and a little horny.
And I was fighting the bat and I got a little horny.
But that's like put this whole thing in a weird like in a new perspective.
Like, oh, this movie isn't just crazy.
Unhinged doesn't make any sense.
There's a full through line and it makes perfect sense.
And it's actually kind of a sedate film when you look at it like that.
Just a man in a health crisis. Yeah.
I feel like there's also something to be said in there about like his
his relationship with women. Yeah.
And like he just cannot stand the thought of being
like rejected by a woman.
So he goes through them like tissues. Ew.
Even has his literal dream woman.
And he ends up calling her a cunt in like five minutes.
That's the cherry on top.
I love that.
Like even even in your even in your mind, even in your fever dream, you feel
she even likes the baldy.
He likes the baldy and Asian food.
It's so refreshing.
Japanese food is very refreshing.
And eating cockroaches is very refreshing.
Even when they're stink bugs.
Oh, yeah. Water bugs.
I got called out for that one last time. Yeah.
Yeah. What's the difference
between a stink bug and a water bug?
No water bug and a roach.
I can't remember the type of bug it is.
The amount of water inside of its body.
Science.
So you don't know is what you're saying.
Correct. I don't need to know.
You just know I'm wrong. Yeah.
Yeah, we're not fact checking you in any real way.
We know originally is supposed to be a raw egg.
And he was like, I just don't think that would give the same punch.
And so he's the one who made the decision to eat.
I want to eat a roach. Yeah.
And there were two takes.
God, and the way he like, choose it and.
Oh, I mean, this is.
My opinions are pretty clear.
I think a lot in this.
This movie is fucking incredible.
And I struggle to think that there's a movie that I'm going to
take further than this.
I mean, we'll have to see, obviously.
That's the whole point of this show. But
his commitment to every moment on screen, it's.
He's fucking in it.
This movie grew. It's electrifying.
It's he's got just magnetism that I can't stop watching.
It's one.
I mean, it's so rare, but it's a it's a movie that I don't look at my phone
while I'm watching it. Yeah.
It's just something I can't miss. Yeah.
I think about that fucking dumbass scene when he shoots himself in the mouth
and then just goes,
you know, boo hoo boo hoo boo hoo.
That would have actually killed somebody.
Oh, yeah. A blank blank would.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the wadding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, yeah, the wad.
The wads always get.
Hmm. That's how it gets you in the mouth. Yeah.
Somebody shoots a wad in your mouth at that velocity.
It is. I.
I love that they drugged a pigeon
and let him catch a drugged pigeon without telling him that they drugged it.
They just like go get a pigeon.
Yeah. How long do you think was out there before they're just like,
fucking drug a pigeon and just just kick it out there?
Just put it on a balloon.
You think you actually ate that pigeon? Yeah, 100 percent.
Yeah. Method actor. Yeah.
If you were filming.
I do like when he goes to buy when he goes to buy the vampire teeth
and he doesn't have any cash, but you can see his MX in the wallet.
That was 88.
Maybe they didn't want to take card fare.
Those cheapies are so fucking weak, though.
They're so good. They were perfect for the movie, though.
And then he and then he bites Larry Cohen's daughter.
Is that right? Oh, yeah.
That's who that was. Yeah.
No, no.
Every every woman who shows up in this movie is actually like like significant.
You know, like you get Maria Caccina Alonso, you get Cassie Lemons, the director,
and you get fucking Jennifer Beals, the flash dance, and it was with Ashley,
who was in all those Burt Reynolds movies.
Well, and then Amy Stiller was the one chatting with David Hyde Pierce
in the bar in that one scene, too.
I miss David Hyde Pierce on this watch.
He does have a great. He's there. Yeah. Good stash.
There's a cameo from one of Cage's brothers, too.
Yeah. And did you get that scene? Yeah. OK.
You know, I heard that Cage actually wasn't happy with how it ended up.
He was I guess he was really, quote unquote, hurt
by seeing himself on the cover with a cape and the fangs
because he said, I never wore a cape.
And I guess he just got upset with how they kind of I mean.
But like he's still kind of that way with like things they use his face for
because with the he was doing an interview recently and they talked to him about
like finally getting to see himself as Superman in the flash.
And all he could talk about was how they had me come in and ask me to do some stuff.
But none of that stuff was on the screen.
So I don't know what they did. Probably something with AI.
Well, I mean, they did do that. Yeah.
They didn't do anything with his real work. I know.
But he has a like flat face that just goes.
I'm actually surprised to hear that, like they brought him in at all.
I wouldn't have.
We watched the whole two and a half hours for that. Worth it.
Yeah. No, no.
I don't know. As far as not to get off topic, because we never do that.
As far as DC movies go, that one was actually way better than I anticipated.
Like I put off watching the flash for a really long time.
I haven't watched it really.
I could not.
They put off releasing it.
So I think it's because Zack Snyder just raped us too hard and too
often with the DC movies that like, I don't know, it's just
they really low lowered the bar.
So you see something that's not terrible and it's not like, yeah.
Oh, your mother's name is Martha.
It's like, wow, this is good.
Insane. Aquaman.
And I finally watched him like this movie is nothing.
Yeah, Aquaman.
I haven't watched it.
Julie Andrews is in it.
That's like the one interesting thing about that movie.
She's the voice of the Hydra.
Hmm. And Amber Turd.
You love Amber Turd.
I love that.
Say what you want about Amber Heard.
I look great with her tits.
That's true. Yeah.
Go go look at Peter's artwork from Drive Angry.
Drive Angry. It's astounding.
Your best work.
That is probably my best work.
Peace to resistance. Yeah.
Was that I mean, speaking of of Amber Heard wasn't
I could be totally wrong, but wasn't wasn't Jack from Colorado Space?
Like, didn't he play her son in something?
He shit the bed once, too.
And I thought that.
And I thought that's the best joke we're going to get tonight.
So in the matrix of good, bad, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad.
Where would you put Nick Cage and this film?
The upper 25 percent.
I consider it an interesting kind of a misfire.
I appreciate the fact that it was ambitious and that a lot of it does land.
And I like director Robert Bierman and what what he tries to do with his movies.
You know, so, you know, on the whole, you know, like solidly C plus B minus.
I'd say something like good, bad, because it's it's like meme the movie.
I feel like that's a little harsh.
That's what I mean.
Like, that's an opinion.
I feel like your opinion sucks.
No, it's going to be a primal thing all over again.
No, it's a well, you admitted to loving primal earlier today.
So you did. Oh, Sean.
We were talking about getting Tartakov, Skis, Primal, but different.
But the words I love primal came out of his mouth.
Did you record it?
Yes. From the wire that I always wear naturally.
Yeah. Commander Data and a CGI panther.
It's a movie, everybody.
It was so good.
No. Yes, I see your
statement and I understand.
But it's like the memes came after.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Unbearable weight, I feel like, is more of the oh, it's a he's a meme.
Make a movie.
No, it was. Yeah, that's super, super disappointed in that movie.
Oh, my God. Vampires Kiss definitely like.
It earned all of that attention with how ridiculous
and absurd and over the top and just completely
unrestrained the performances and very, very rarely
do I get to see something where you just give somebody control
or like ownership of a character like that, and they just make bold choices,
choices that could have landed him in like the unemployment line going forward.
And he just committed to everyone.
Yeah. Like this performance was a risk and this movie was a risk.
And it's something that I think really had an effect on his career.
Obviously, it got him moon struck.
It has an effect on film, I think.
I don't know if it's a good effect.
And I'm not going to pull out the yarn, but.
I know he just wanted to do this one for just to like rebel against moon
struck and his performance.
He didn't want to get typecast as a romantic lead.
Yeah. And he didn't, you know, which I applaud, you know, because like
that would that would have been safe if he just stuck with that.
It's one thing I really appreciate about appreciate about Nicholas Cage
in general is that he is he really loves acting
and he's just playing and he's just you could tell he's having fun
and he's passionate about what he's doing.
And I mean, you know, love him or hate him.
He's he's doing what he loves and he's got a lot of passion for it.
Very true.
I would say for me, I don't know when we started the good, bad, bad, good
in season one.
It was like episode 10, 12.
So I don't know if we have a recording of where I thought this would be originally,
which I think would probably put him good movie bad.
But going back, rewatching it.
Knowing the through line and actually being able to see like,
oh, this script isn't just completely batshit bananas.
Like there is a method to it.
There is a reason for like his character, the hatred of women,
as well as going insane.
Rabie because rabies like it all makes sense.
And I'm like, this movie is so much
there's so much more here than I ever would have thought initially.
And I'm going to up that to good good.
I think it's a great film.
Definitely up there in his.
In his filmography, this is going to be a hard one to beat.
Yeah, I'm with you.
This is so much fun to watch every time on on second watch for me.
I like this way more.
I thought it was way more interesting.
I like the music even.
Yeah, which the first time I watched, I was like, the fuck is this?
And the second time watching, I was like, OK, this kind of fucking works for this.
Like the unreliable narrator.
And it gets so much more absurd through the movie.
Like when he's calling this therapist after he does the murder
and he's trying to like get her to like make an appointment earlier.
And as soon as she hangs up the phone, there's like that beefcake there.
He's the beefcake is there before.
Was he? Yeah.
The beefcake.
No, she's she's hot beefcake was there.
She's getting it in.
Just the the back and forth
in the big ending scene there where he's on the street
with a blood goatee talking to the corner of a building.
And then and then he's looking pristine and with perfect hair
and Elizabeth Ashley's office still holding the piece of wood
that he's trying to stake himself with.
Yeah, like that's that was very artful.
I would you stop worrying and just get on with your big romance.
I mean, you're right.
I think that there's there's something deeper
in it to be found in the movie.
And I think that it was unfortunate that at that time
they had to market it and like promote it as something kind of silly and schlocky.
Yeah, marketing is its own thing.
And I don't know if any of you guys work in marketing,
but I'm still going to say, yeah, fuck those guys.
Because they resemble that.
So why? I resemble you.
So without the beard, it's true.
Yeah. Well, marketing got us to watch jujitsu.
So which I maintain is a awesome piece of trash.
I don't have crab man in it.
It's got that awesome like first person fight scene.
Oh, yeah.
CGI shuriken just shooting at your face.
Oh, man. Yeah. All the CGI bullet holes and stuff.
It's like, why is this movie is so bad?
And then the comic book transition.
Yeah, for some reason.
I love it. Yeah.
That's my primal.
You guys, you guys out there, you're nerds.
You're going to love this.
Look, comic book, see comic book equals good.
That was our episode one.
It was face off versus bat.
Oh, astounding.
Well, that's man.
No contest. She was.
Yeah, right.
Jujitsu wins. Yeah.
Yeah, obviously.
With the predator pants.
OK, how many hours can the Jujitsu alien suck on a peach for?
Oh, I don't think you had an actual mouth.
So not many.
I mean, you don't need a mouth to peach.
I think any orifice would do.
Yeah. It's all it's just butts and butts.
Yeah. Prison pocket.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah. It's a really an ass to ask.
Yeah, you got it. You guys understand.
We've been to prison. Sure.
So in terms of these two films,
I would like to know your guys' opinion.
And in terms of where these are going to score in the end, your opinions do not matter.
Ultimately, yeah, you your vote doesn't count.
But we do want to hear it.
Just like the Electoral College.
What where would you which one of these movies would you put forward in the bracket?
Personally, I would say Color Out of Space,
although I think they're both important historically
in the cage timeline.
Both recommendable for different reasons.
I think that's easy to say. Yeah.
Vampires Kiss, a very iconic movie, very important movie.
It's a fun movie.
I would go with Color Out of Space.
That's me. That's
it's almost unfair to have to choose between those two
because they really do pull long punches in both their categories.
But that's the whole point of our show.
It only gets harder. I know.
Kind of like me.
Only if there's a bat around.
Yeah, I was drunk and also horny.
Yeah, honestly, you know, being being drunk and horny
and feeling kind of sensual myself.
I'm going to say Color Out of Space, not because majority so far,
but because all around, like you're looking at
you're looking at the soundtrack,
you're looking at the filmmaking of the whole thing.
All of it was just such a beautifully put together thing
and it made such a beautifully horrific beast that I just I love it.
And at the time we watched in order, the
Vampires Kiss and everything else, that was a breath of fresh air.
But honestly, even though both films stay with me,
Color Out of Space held a lot more in my mind
and it kind of sticks around more there versus Vampires Kiss.
It's just it just comes down to cohesion at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is which is why I call Vampires Kiss an interesting failure.
They got a lot of good themes in there
and they're saying a lot of good things with them.
Yeah, it's it's just some of them.
Some of them kind of trail off.
Though, if I had seen Jennifer Beals nipples,
it may have been a different choice.
The paces were bad.
Yeah, like don't just hide them.
Yes. Yeah.
Like if you don't want to show any boob, that's fine.
But like, just don't are they just find her body double from Flashdance.
Hello, no brainer.
Or like cut the pasties smaller, not have them be like.
I mean, obviously, he wasn't into her anyway, right?
Like that was the yogurt situation, right?
Now, are they pasties or are they like that old like strapless bra?
That's what I could be. Yeah.
But I mean, either way, you make some very salient points about all of that.
Well, I mean, about soundtrack cinematography, all that nipples. Nick.
But oh, no, I'm I'm still solidly like if I had to show
one of these movies to somebody at any point,
I know I could get a consistent reaction from Vampire's Kiss.
Vampire's Kiss that I wouldn't necessarily get every time from Color Out of Space.
And I feel like in my own head experiment with how I approach this,
that's that's got a lot more to me.
And I mean, also, like I said, there's not a moment that Nicholas Cage
is on screen that I'm not just completely taken for a ride in this movie.
It just offers so much performance and there's no Lavinia.
Like when I say we're trying to find Nicholas Cage's best movie,
that best is in heavy air quotes because I just want to know
what the most entertaining Nicholas Cage is.
And it's definitely Vampire's Kiss is definitely up there.
So I'm going to say Vampire's Kiss.
Excellent. Hey, if it's just a performance, Deadfall wins them all.
Yeah, we're putting it into the bracket.
You can scratch your head till the end of days on that one.
I definitely see where you guys are coming from.
And that's that's a really good argument.
Yeah. And, you know, everybody takes like their own approach to what this is.
Like we could literally reorganize the bracket and have different winners.
Yeah. Oh, every time. Yeah.
So this is I mean, we're we're certainly not
disagreeing with you about Color Out of Space being a terrific movie.
I love that film.
It's again, the reason I wanted to start this.
In terms of having to rewatch something, I would definitely say Color Out of Space.
But but you're right, though, if you're if you're approaching somebody
who's like, what's Nick Cage all about?
Like, I don't get it.
Then you're going to show them Vampire's Kiss.
100 percent. I hope that you do.
Yeah, I'm going to show them that episode of Community.
All the online. Oh, good choice.
No, no. All the online reviewers seem to think that his very best work
was Con Air and Gone in 60 Seconds.
Gone in 60 Seconds can suck it.
Gone in 60 seconds somehow, everybody.
Have you guys ever had a movie that that that you never liked
that you hated every time you watched it?
You kept going back to it, just trying to bang your head against it,
being like, OK, what's in here?
What do people see? Why?
I had to do an illustration for the Life Aquatic,
and I've always hated that director. Me too.
And like I watch him.
I've I watched the movie.
I was like fell asleep in five minutes, had to watch it again the next day.
Fell asleep in five minutes.
Third time I watched it, got 10 minutes into it, got a chuckle out of me.
And now it's one of my favorite movies.
So it's kind of like a weird like Stockholm syndrome situation.
We need a soundboard button for I was a little drunk
and a little horny just to play repeatedly during that.
I'm so yeah.
Can we can we mod this?
Probably. OK.
Yeah. So thank you guys for being here.
Do you guys want to just give a little shout out to your shows?
Yeah. What do you got to pitch?
Yeah. So we're part of Cage's Kiss.
We try to glean whatever kernels of wisdom we can from his movies and his life.
And we've just we've been doing it forever.
And I don't remember a time before it.
Unfortunately.
Also, Donnie and I enjoy voice acting on the side.
And I have another little fun podcast about witches and stories
and history called Bedknobs and Broom Flicks.
And I'm kind of looking forward to an episode I've coming up on
Cinema Recall in his podcast.
We're going to be talking about of all things, because people couldn't decide
to choose Jaws 4 for some reason.
We're going to talk about JFK because why not?
Jaws 4 JFK.
Same thing. I mean, it really is, honestly.
Just the back of the brooder films.
A little lamb.
No, they're not just watching the brooder films.
Hey, this comedy podcast about to really turn it up a notch.
Yeah. Don't listen to our 9-11 episode either.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That'll get you kicked.
Just listening to that gets people canceled.
9-11 is your favorite holiday.
It gets you. Yeah.
I mean, if you're going to make up holidays, just fuck it.
Yeah. That like Linda said, doing voice acting stuff.
And I am also getting geared up to do another full month of shark movie reviews.
So that's can be interesting once we get that ball rolling.
You just do that during shark month.
No, I'm trying to time it with it if I can.
But I intermittently do these like every two to three months, I will.
And this is this is a search to go through all the shittiest shark
films I can to find some chunks of gold.
Did you talk about that Italian zombie movie where the zombie fights a shark?
Was zombie shark? Yes.
The last time I did this, the best film I got out of it was Bad CGI Sharks.
That is an amazing, amazing.
Oh, that's the title of it.
It's called Bad CGI Sharks.
Yes. I mean, I guess go with what you know.
Donnie, didn't you review porn for no nut November?
You got my attention.
Got put off, but I am still doing a full month of story porn.
So parody porn that has story has something going on other than just fucking.
But then also, yes, the golden era of porn,
because they actually had something going on in that shit versus just banging and screwing.
When I was a kid, I was riding my bike down to go work out.
And the fence story.
The fence story.
No, no. But I found like a box of pornos.
And like I was like, oh, man, I'm going to have to come back
and grab these on my way home, because obviously I was going to take them to the gym.
And because I'm I want to get my pump on when I get home.
Two. But one of them was this porno.
And it was about this like nerd who I can't remember what it was.
But he gets sent back in time to like ye olde medieval times.
And I was like, oh, man, this is fucking hilarious and great.
But then it turned into a foot fetish movie at the same time.
And I was like, OK, this is really weird, because that's not like
the era that I want to get into feet.
It's like that's just corns all over them.
Bunions. I hate a good bun.
Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah.
If I'm going to go shrimp and I want some nice clean toes.
Don't call it shrimp and I'm sorry that you guys love shrimp.
But that's the term for it.
You're fucking up shrimp for me.
It's terrible. I hate it.
What do we got coming up next time, Peter?
I don't know. I truly don't have it.
Another movie.
The Rock vs. National Treasure.
I think that's right. With Seth.
All right. Have a great night, everyone.
Yeah. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for our sparkle buddies on Patreon.
Josh, John, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam and Caged Dancers, Ira, John, Freeman
and Lance. And you can find us on all the shit.
We're cage match pod or cage underscore match underscore pod.
Send us money on Patreon.
Yeah. Give us money because for reasons, we'll do good stuff with it.
I don't know. Maybe.
We'll do stuff with it.
Double masculine, double pump masculine.
A little masculine.
Bye bye.
What deep thought are you in?
Whether or not I have to go to the bathroom before we start.
You might as well.
Yeah, I mean, you're in the correct moment to go do it if you want to do it.
Don't make us pull the show over.
Yeah. Quit wasting my time, Sean.
With that hog out.
I'll take a pissless cage.
A pissless cage, indeed.
Yeah, so I don't know if you guys have listened to our show at all, but we're.
I have.
Dumb.
You can say and do whatever you want on here.
But jokes, whatever.
It really doesn't matter.
Peter's going to edit this to make us all sound racist in the end anyway.
Every time we have a history with the Polish.
All right. You guys are going to make perfect sense for us.
Well, when we recorded about this before, our guest pointed out to us the whole
hierarchy of llamas versus alpacas.
So apparently it's rich people that own the alpacas.
OK, so there was a guy at the ultrasound spot that I went to recently and he was like,
oh, cool, cool, llama shirt.
And I know that the llamas are the ones with the long necks because L.
Long llama.
And then I looked at llamas and I was like and I looked at alpacas, I was like, they
both have fucking long necks.
What?
They both have long necks.
This doesn't mean anything to me.
I'm worse off now.
Now you're just more confused.
Yeah.
Now I'm just assuming everything's a llama.
Alpacas are softer.
It's a llama.