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Oh God. Oh my God.

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Nick, I think you have the better face for Ron Perlman.

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Yeah, I do have a large head.

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Well, also, you can do better faces than me.

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I figured I could just do cage.

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That's not a hard face.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Welcome to a special episode of Cage Match,

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Colin Aron, about way of meeting Nicholas Cage,

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Aron de Bout.

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Aron de Bout.

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Aron de Bout.

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Way of meeting Nicholas Cage.

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I am Sean here with Nick.

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I'm Nick and Peter, producer Peter.

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Hi.

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And we are doing a quick little episode

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about Nicholas Cage's new movie, The Retirement Plan,

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which did come out a couple of weeks ago.

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But I was in Portland.

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Yeah. And you were in Florida.

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It had a really weird release situation

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where it was supposed to come out like a month earlier

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and then didn't. Yeah, I got punted out

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for the next month. Confusing reasons.

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I who knows what happened.

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I'll never understand what happened

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with the release of that movie.

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Yeah. And then it came out.

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And did you see it opening night or opening day?

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Yeah, I caught a matinee of it on opening day.

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Croud of theater packed.

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All by myself, which was great for taking notes and laughing.

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But not great for box office numbers.

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Yeah. And I saw it with one person.

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So, yeah, I saw it with two people there.

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But that was Nick and Josie. Yeah.

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It's it's kind of a shame, I feel like.

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I don't know if it was just a lack of marketing or something, but.

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I mean, it's got no marketing,

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but it got a theatrical release.

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Like they put some clout behind it.

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I mean, we have no this movie was coming out

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if we didn't do this podcast.

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No. All right, then.

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Which is too bad, because honestly,

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the premise of it is pretty funny.

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Yeah, there's this couple who are trying to get out of like shitty gang life.

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Like the husband's a driver for a mobster.

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So he steals a thing and the hard drive.

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Yeah, hard drive. It's a flash drive.

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And or a desk.

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So he steals a thing, a hard drive.

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And in the process gets caught.

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The wife ends up getting the hard drive

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and their daughter out to her father's house,

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which happens to be Nicholas Cage, villains pursue Nicholas Cage rebuffs.

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And it becomes like this big action comedy.

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Lots of just like humorous encounters with bad guys

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such as Jackie Earl Haley and Ron Perlman.

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Jackie Earl Haley in his most mumbly role since Rorschach.

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Yeah, I enjoyed his just like very hot temper in this movie.

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He was on edge the whole time, but also just like the shaved head

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and the goatee with his sweet like crime jacket and club shirt.

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Oh, my God.

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Can we put this in the upper echelons of crime jackets like this?

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This is one of the best crime jackets I've ever seen.

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Like the alligator like jacket.

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Yeah, it was resplendent.

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Great performance by Jackie Earl Haley.

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Ron Perlman, just the dopey.

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That's Bobo.

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Yeah.

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Terrific.

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I enjoyed him a lot.

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His posture in this movie just made me feel like it was some kind of cartoon

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the whole time. How big is Ron Perlman?

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I don't know.

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How boy-sized.

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Oh, OK.

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That's a measurement I know.

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I did say this when you were watching it last night, though.

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Ron Perlman looks so much weirder when he's not covered in prosthetic makeup.

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He looks more like more of a muppet.

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Yeah, he's an odd shape of person.

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He's an odd cut of man.

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Yeah.

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So I've just found three different heights and weights for him, and I don't

89
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think that any of them can possibly be accurate.

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Oh, he's on the Donald Trump scale.

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Yeah, he's anywhere from 511 to 611 and anywhere from, I don't know,

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183 pounds to question mark.

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183 seems light.

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It seems light.

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That's my weight.

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My weight.

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Yeah.

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So like Debbie putting on the short side, 30 pounds on me and I'm not Ron Perlman-esque.

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So wait, I mean, that's mostly head though.

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You got a maximum.

101
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That's my height and your weight.

102
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That's not right.

103
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No, that chance.

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No.

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Who else was in the cast?

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Oh, Ernie Hudson, Ashley, something, something.

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Ashley Green from like the Twilight series plays Ashley.

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Yeah, Ashley Ashley.

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She was the weakest performance.

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Do you think they just gave her character the same name as her because she kept

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getting confused?

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Who am I?

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Her character also had the least like meaningful screen time.

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Even Hector had better screen time moments or Christopher.

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Which one was Christopher?

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Christopher was the like final top tier backstabbing dude.

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OK, the dude that comes in at the end and like they give him the thing.

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Oh, sure.

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This movie has about too, too many put betrayals in it.

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Yeah, the chain of betrayal.

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Yeah.

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Everybody's like hooked on to somebody else.

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But not in a compelling way, like Burn after reading her clue, where like the

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absurdity of how many people are stabbing each other in the back is interesting.

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No, this is just like presented very business as normal.

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Yeah, it's a CIA thing.

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Yeah, I really did like the and organized crime.

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Like kid performances are usually pretty fucking mid overall.

129
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But Talia Campbell as Sarah, I thought did a really good job.

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Yeah, I liked her football shirt.

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Just football.

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Do you like football?

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I like football.

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I want to be a quarterback.

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I wanted her to say I want to be a football.

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I love some of those lines.

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I love football.

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I want to be football.

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Her interactions with Ron Perlman are fucking great.

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You've got to admit that they are.

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Ron Perlman is a gem in this movie.

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Watching Nick Cage get to just full on tackle like body.

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Ron Perlman was a lot of fun to watch.

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Like, oh, one of you probably broke a hip there.

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Yeah, this is so old.

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Still so much better than like an Expendables movie, though.

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Yes. Yeah.

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I don't think we got to the like actual premise because I kept

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interrupting of Nick Cage being a retired assassin.

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Right. That's kind of like the key key part of the entire thing.

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They said he's able to kill motherfuckers real real well.

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As long as the camera is shaking and not focusing on the action.

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Don't worry about that.

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You know, I've honestly seen worse fight scenes from younger people recently.

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No, it's true.

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People also die real easy in this movie.

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I loved in the boat scene, the boat fight with Ernie Hudson,

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just like how many bodies fall in the water.

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Oh, yeah, there were 10 bad guys.

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Yeah. 10 bad guys go down in that fight.

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Oh, what was it in the hallway when they're like trying to get into the room?

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You just have the wide range of like varying goons.

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My favorite goon is definitely goon who can't put his arms down.

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Because he's so so yoked.

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Just so fucking beefed out.

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He's just standing there like, oh.

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He like to turn his head.

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He kind of does the Michael Keaton Batman where he just turns his whole body

169
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because his neck is just one big muscle.

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Yep. As we all know, a strong boys.

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Yeah.

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Little buff boys over here.

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OK, so what did you think of Cage's performance overall, though?

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I thought it was a lot of fun.

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I mean, it's goofy.

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It's super lighthearted.

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I did love when his granddaughter keeps asking him why he has two names.

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His response is, I'll tell you over a beer some day.

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The charitable way of reading that is when you're older,

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but he probably means tomorrow.

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Yeah, he was going to give her a beer for sure.

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And then in the next scene when they're having breakfast,

183
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she admonishes him for offering a child a beer.

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Yeah, he wanted to tell the story.

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He's a lot of fun on those.

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He's he's wacky.

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He's got the Gary look too.

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Right. He's got the Gary look.

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He's just a Cayman Island beach bum retired from the CIA.

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And it the movie doesn't give us a whole lot of like

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plot. I mean, the but it's enjoyed granddaughter's kind of the exposition machine.

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She keeps it all like moving forward.

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Yeah. I mean, I agree with Sean that I think there's a little too many like

194
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Chris Cross, double cross, double, double cross, which is if it's a double,

195
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double cross, it's just not across.

196
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Yeah, two double like two double crosses.

197
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It's an uncross. Yeah.

198
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That's like two negative positive.

199
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And parallel lines.

200
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Which are not crossed at all.

201
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No, not even sort of crossed.

202
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And they never will be.

203
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No, it could have done with just the one double the one mole.

204
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You know, and actually, I think like Hector's character,

205
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there's no real big reason for that other than the set piece,

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the big fucking mansion to have a shootout.

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Because she's supposed to be Jack Earl Haley's boss, but Jack

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kills her. It gets messy at the end.

209
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Jack Earl Haley didn't kill her.

210
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Yeah, he shoots her.

211
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He shoots her in the head.

212
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And then he gets shot by Christopher, right?

213
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,640
Yeah. And then he gets shot.

214
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Yeah. And then he gets shot by that. Like the whole thing was too muddy

215
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,960
at the end, even with two re like two watches.

216
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It's like, oh, also spoilers.

217
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,320
I mean, whatever. Spoiler.

218
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I watch. You know what?

219
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,200
If you wanted to if you wanted to know what the plot of this movie is,

220
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you would have gone and seen it, you fucks.

221
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,720
Yeah, which no one did.

222
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:10,760
It was a great movie, though.

223
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It was a lot of fun.

224
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I do want to point out, I haven't seen Ernie Hudson in a while.

225
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And him and Nick Cage are supposed to play like old army buddies.

226
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You assume around the same age.

227
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Ernie Hudson's 19 years older than Nicholas Cage.

228
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And looks a lot better than Nicholas Cage.

229
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Ernie Hudson looks good.

230
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,200
Well, they had an age up Nick Cage, and I'm sure they died.

231
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,600
Ernie Hudson's hair a little darker.

232
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,760
But we got to see the band from Nicholas Cage's wig when he's

233
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coming out of the water.

234
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You can see his wig band.

235
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,440
And also, there's a lot of shooting into and out of water in this.

236
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And I've watched enough myth, myth busters now.

237
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That's not how that works.

238
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It's not the best way to have a gunfight.

239
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Yeah. I mean, the whole thing, it's like it's fun.

240
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,440
It's popcorn like you have a good time watching it.

241
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,440
It's explosions, it's gunfights.

242
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Every motherfucker gets killed.

243
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The guy who gets a flare flare gun to the mouth.

244
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Oh, yeah. No.

245
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,640
And there's lots of like entertainment.

246
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It's very comical. Yeah.

247
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That's the thing. It's a comedic action movie.

248
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Nick Cage hiding with his daughter and Ron Perlman,

249
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who is kidnapped, the granddaughter being in like the like hotel rooms next to each other.

250
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Yeah, it's classic.

251
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,440
Oh, they're out on the balcony right now and switch.

252
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Yeah. New phone call.

253
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,480
You also notice that no one ever pays the cab drivers in this movie.

254
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,880
They just get out of the cab.

255
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,480
That's how it works in Cayman Islands.

256
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,480
I don't know. It's directly tied to your Cayman Island checking account.

257
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,360
Yeah.

258
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,760
Oh, that actually makes a lot more sense.

259
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,280
I don't think that is.

260
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,240
I was confused because I didn't.

261
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,280
This is on me.

262
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:40,080
I didn't expect the Cayman Islands to have taxi technology

263
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,800
that included vans with self closing doors.

264
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,280
Because every time somebody got out of a taxi,

265
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,440
the taxi would just start backing away.

266
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,480
And I'd be like, nobody shut that door.

267
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,360
And then at one point I see self shutting door.

268
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,520
And like, many vans have come a long way.

269
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,480
Yeah, it's true.

270
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,360
Even the Cayman Islands have self shutting taxi doors.

271
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,640
Now, see what you have to do is you drive really fast and you slam on the brakes.

272
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,400
Oh, OK. Slides the door shut.

273
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,680
I've never owned a minivan.

274
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,360
So this is I can tell.

275
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,800
Well, OK, so overall, what do you guys think?

276
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:10,800
Venn diagram.

277
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,520
I think this is good cage, good movie.

278
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,080
I mean, I think it's mid across, but it's a lot of fun.

279
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,560
It's good for what it is.

280
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,120
It's exactly what I was hoping.

281
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,760
It is not my least favorite film of his this year.

282
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:25,640
It's a late summer fun movie because he needed something to carry us over

283
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,000
from one film to another.

284
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,840
He's only putting out five films this year.

285
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:29,560
I know, right?

286
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,760
Six films, six films, six films, right?

287
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,160
We've watched four already.

288
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:33,760
That's right.

289
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,480
Well, I keep forgetting Butcher's Crossing.

290
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,960
Yeah, that is coming out this year, right?

291
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,040
October 24th.

292
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,160
And then dream scenario.

293
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,360
What is that early November?

294
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,320
November, or 10th or something.

295
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,600
So good year for cage.

296
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,440
Well, I mean, not monetarily, but good for putting out.

297
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,920
Good news number. I mean, he got paid.

298
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,040
He got paid for these roles and he had some pretty well budgeted movies

299
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,480
like Renfield. I feel like that got a lot of love.

300
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,280
I still maintain that sympathy for the devil is an excellent film.

301
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:00,760
It's a really good movie.

302
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,160
I don't think enough people got a chance to see it.

303
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,600
It's a real power year.

304
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:09,320
And I saw somebody complaining online recently about how they thought

305
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,840
the dark days of Nicholas Cage doing shitty movies was over.

306
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,120
I was real close to just coming back with like, motherfuckers,

307
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,080
putting out six movies this year.

308
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:22,520
How high are your expectations when somebody puts out six movies in a year?

309
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,360
Literally every other month of the year

310
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,280
could have a Nicholas Cage film release.

311
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,760
Well, and then starring film.

312
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,640
Yeah. And what is the expectation of him?

313
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,200
He's not going to be a romantic comedy lead at this point.

314
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,280
It's like he is of an age that he has to play a different kind of character.

315
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,000
Like he's set into his own new bubble.

316
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,320
Yeah, like from 2024, he's had some really good movies.

317
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,440
A lot of like Art House and like Dark Horse movies.

318
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,960
If you're getting a theatrically released Nicholas Cage movie

319
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:58,000
expected to be like the studios know Nicholas Cage draws X amount of star appeal.

320
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:03,360
I look to his independent movies, I think more for his best performances.

321
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,080
Well, he would say the same thing, too.

322
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,080
I mean, he he's going to put something different on those.

323
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,200
And the reason he's doing them for I'm certain less money than he is worth

324
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:13,880
is because he gives a shit about it.

325
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,160
He thinks the script is good or the character is interesting.

326
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,040
Or, you know, you you're going to get something more out of it

327
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,520
because a person gives a shit more than a paycheck.

328
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,040
Yeah. And I mean, we're looking at he looks drastically different.

329
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,000
All six of these films. Definitely.

330
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,000
There is a transition from like he's not just playing.

331
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,280
He's not just Nick Cage in all these films.

332
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,520
Less thoughts or go watch it. It's fun.

333
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,320
You go watch it. Yeah. If you can.

334
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,800
Retirement plan or watch it when it comes on streaming.

335
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,320
But give it some love. I'm glad it exists. Me too.

336
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,040
Oh, super final spoiler. What happened to the husband?

337
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,240
Nobody knows. They probably killed Jeremy.

338
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,080
Jackie Earl. Haley did it.

339
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,080
All right. Cool. Thanks.

340
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,080
Yeah. Thanks for listening, everybody. Yeah.

341
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,200
You are interested in supporting us.

342
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,440
We are on Patreon at Cage Match.

343
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,920
And thank you to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt and Adam

344
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,880
and our cage dancers, Ira, John Freeman and Lance.

345
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,680
If you want to shoot the shit with us, we are on Reddit at Cage Match pod

346
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,200
and Instagram at Cage underscore match underscore pod.

347
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,840
Woohoo. I did it. Bye. Bye.

348
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,480
We'll put it. We'll put a picture of me, Nick and I side by side.

349
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,720
These are beautiful football stats.

350
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,000
You can understand what that means.

351
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,560
Yeah, well, it's going to be the rookie football photo, like shirtless in our drawers.

352
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,440
Or we're supposed to bring drawers today. No.

353
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,240
My first car was a minivan.

354
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,560
Nice. Did you get laid in it? No.

355
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,560
Disappointing. Even I got laid in a minivan.

356
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,560
Was it mine?

357
00:14:49,560 --> 00:15:10,560
Was it mine? Yes.

