Oh, God. Oh, my God.
I think one of the weirdest things about Gone In 60 Seconds for me
is just how like masturbatory it was about cars like it.
It's for people who just geek out on cars like the Wikipedia page
has entries about the cars now.
But who fucking cares?
I mean, it's cool that it's a remake.
Yeah, which I learned last night.
Yeah, I had no idea.
I've never seen the original.
I haven't either.
It's cool about the 70s.
You know what's cool about that?
What's cool about that?
Welcome back to Cage Match around about wave media.
Nicholas Cage, Colin.
It's just getting ridiculous at this point.
I know. OK, let me take that again.
Welcome back to Cage Match, Colin around about wave media.
Nicholas Cage, Colin.
The podcast hasn't started yet.
So stop talking about Gone In 60 Seconds.
I'm your host, Sean.
With my co-host.
Mm hmm.
I don't know if that's happening today.
All right. I'm Nick.
And a producer. Hello, I'm Peter.
And our special guest, John.
Hi, John. Hi.
Welcome to the show. Thank you.
How was your chicken piccata this morning?
I thought it was supposed to be deal piccata.
Well, we're all on budgets.
I want to fix it.
My chicken piccata was delicious, by the way.
It was very well cooked.
The yolk was nice and runny.
A good everything bagels.
Delicious bagel base.
We lured John into Peter's basement with the promise of the alpaca.
Yeah, there is no breakfast today, though.
Yeah. Feel Piccata.
Benedict should have been your hint that it was fake.
I don't know what the alpaca is.
It's like veal with capers and like a white wine.
Yeah. Lemonade.
Wine sauce totally sounds like an amazing.
Yeah, it's delicious.
It probably would be a good Benedict now that I think about it.
We'll be right back.
We're going to make this and then we'll come back and talk about it. OK.
That was good. Yeah.
Very tasty. Yeah.
Would eat that again.
So on this podcast, we talk Nicholas Cage,
rocket system, 64 films go in.
One movie will come out this week.
We're talking gone in 60 seconds and Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance,
a very high octane episode.
Which would you say it is?
Three. You pull up to the gas station, you just go to the three pump. Yeah.
It's mostly covered in spiders year round.
Oh, man. Fucking I hate fake spider season.
I was all like ready for it.
Now they've gone away again, which means in a week I'm going to walk right into a web.
Yep. Told you it wasn't spider season yet.
Yeah, it's getting there. Spider seasons end of summer.
What do you have against it?
Sean doesn't like the spiders.
I think it's the spiders is what he doesn't like about spider season.
But like the spiders here are chill. Yeah.
Yeah. They just like to build a web in front, like in front of doors
and across sidewalks and stuff.
Yeah, sometimes they're even big and hairy and that's cool.
I don't want to ruin this for you, Sean, but I'm pretty sure we have black widows here.
That's fine. I grew up in a place with hobo spiders.
This is yeah. Hobo spiders.
I think they're called unhoused spiders.
Drifter spiders.
You're David Banner of spiders.
I imagine that would be spider with a little bindle.
Yeah, it's a spindle.
Let's be real.
Oh, John, our most dad joke person who is not a dad.
Yeah, that's right. I got to have a thing.
So, John, what is your interest in Nicolas Cage?
My interest in Nicolas Cage is mostly seeing someone who's almost as hairy as I am.
Oh, he does have good body hair.
Yeah. John, that is.
I mean, Nick Cage, too, occasionally, but not always.
Yeah, his chest hair is impressive.
And I don't think we've seen his bare back.
He's not a hairy backed guy.
No, it's just just like he might wax the back.
Oh, I'm sure he does. I would.
Yeah, I mean, the chest hair comes and goes like the tides.
You ever shave your chest?
Shave it. Yeah.
When I was in bodybuilding, I shaved everything.
Yeah, that was fun for speed in bodybuilding.
You got to get all loose.
You got to get into that slide across the stage.
Exactly. That was just right.
Yeah. I used to have my chest and stomach hair shaved into an arrow pointing down
at 100 percent tracks.
Yeah, I am not shocked by this information in the slightest.
I think that's to how long that lasted a good couple of years.
What is that is shock?
Haining. That's a bit for sure.
Well, it starts to get uncomfortable when it's growing back out.
So you just maintain.
Also, you know, you get good about shaving around your nipples and everything.
I don't remember you being that hairy.
I'm not terribly hairy, but when it's just an arrow pointing down,
I guess you'd notice it.
Yeah, it's like subtle.
What we're talking here.
The main portion of the arrow is about two inches,
and then it flared out to about here and then straight down.
I would say the main point of the arrow is the pointy bit
or the main area of the arrows, the pointy bit, not the line.
I would disagree, because if you just look at the pointy bit,
all you're looking at is a triangle.
You got me there.
The line creates linear focus.
But a triangle can also be an arrow.
But it's also in three different directions.
Which one do you look at?
That's only true for an isolateral triangle, though.
We're not bringing math into this.
You leave your geometry at home.
We're talking about harrows only today.
Gross. Ah, that's it.
That should have been where I came in.
Yeah.
I'll just move everything around.
That's fine. You do anyway.
I'm not changing shit.
Peter's like, I fucking give up.
I'm not even working on this anymore.
Peter's going on vacation for like 10 days.
He doesn't get it anymore.
Honestly, as much work as just guesting on this was,
which is a shocking amount of work, by the way.
Yes.
I'm impressed with how long you guys have been doing this,
because I definitely would have quit.
Yeah. So on the website, too, I just had how many hours
and minutes we've been watching cage movies.
And then I finally did the conversion.
And now it reads how many days we've spent on it.
And it's over four days now just watching the movies.
And that's not counting rewatches.
Oh, yeah. I watched both twice.
Just a singular watch is all I'm tracking.
It's a lot of time that we have now lost to our Lord and Savior,
Nicolas Cage.
I can't see his name.
Yeah.
As Darryl would say, the golden hog of Hollywood.
I know he's going to like that.
We're going to bring that in, too.
I mean, it's been it's been transferring around to some other podcasts.
So has it? Yeah, he's running.
That's good. I didn't want to jump on his thing there.
But no, no, I think he would enjoy that.
He's got he's got getting to follow you now.
Yeah. Getting to follow you.
Wait, does he have a theme song for getting to follow you?
Yeah. Yes.
We got to put lyrics to your base thing.
Yeah. I mean, we have we have him shouting fuck.
Yeah. I'm a little disappointed you don't play that at the beginning of every episode.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It would be different every episode because Seinfeld it.
Yeah. Peter just came over and we just put him held a microphone up to my
and just noodled around.
I just moved around for half an hour.
And that's what we get.
Yeah. It's my one professional like base credit.
I'm a musician, ma.
There is an IMDb for bass players.
It's actually the unemployment list.
So got in 60 seconds.
Here's where I'm going to be if this keeps up.
John, you're the guest, which means I have to do less work.
What's gone in 60 seconds about?
That's what you said last week, Sean.
And it holds true today.
So gone in 60 seconds is basically a standardized movie.
Let's be real. Like, there is nothing special about this movie, which is.
That's a hot take. And I'm a hot take guy.
Can I go into opinions? Yeah.
Oh, OK. Yeah. So we don't do opinions on this.
I like hot takes, but not opinionated ones.
Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong.
I love this movie, but there's nothing fancy about it.
Right. It's just Ocean's 11 with cars, more or less.
Oh, I see you disagreeing.
No, actually, I was thinking it's more like a original Fast and Furious.
Ah, you beat me. So I was also going to talk about Fast and Furious.
And it came out what just a year before the first Fast movie.
I had to check that before I texted Peter.
Oh, I'm like, I'm going to say this to Nick.
Nope. Right down to the end when they're having the barbecue
and everybody's family styling around fucking fast.
I can't wait. Family styling is making out, right? Yeah.
That's when everyone makes that.
You've got to everyone sticks their tongue in at the same time.
Uh huh. Three way kissing was like the hot thing on TV for a period of time.
Absolutely not. What are you talking about?
It was really big during the like, I'm actually with you.
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, it was like the big thing and everyone's like, oh, so hot.
Three way kiss. It's like, that's terrible.
Like nobody's getting any action.
That's just touching.
That just makes me think of a buddy of mine back in high school.
I mean, in Oregon, we had 18 and over strip clubs and stuff,
and he would go to the strip club after school.
And this guy was high school.
Yeah. This guy was falling hard and he was blowing like
all of his paychecks at the strip club.
And he was getting like lap dances from two strippers at once.
And it's like that is insanely stupid.
Just like one on each leg.
Yeah. I don't know if they were like jumping in and like back and forth.
But nobody's doing 100 percent of their like actual work.
I'm expecting like one of them to stand on the shoulders of the other.
Wear a trench coat. Yeah, that would be cool.
The tallest stripper. Yeah.
And I'm kind of into this.
Yeah. So this movie, I don't know, like
to 2000 is when it came out and it feels very 2000 to me.
Like that intro is so fucking dated and like shitty font work.
Everybody's got that like 2000 hair that's kind of just slicked back.
Yeah. Greasy, greasy, greasy, greasy.
That man is quintessential 2000.
Yeah. All he was missing was some wraparound shades.
Which his psychic had. Yeah.
Which one? Tumblr.
The tech guy who his one tech thing was fake fingerprints.
No, no, he had the wasn't he was the one with the little thing
that got the garage. Yeah.
Recorded the frequency that the garage door.
Oh, yeah. As if that's it.
Yeah.
Which apparently they could have just walked around to the back of the garage
anyways, because there was an open door in that scene to not pick up on that.
Oh, yeah. Because like when they're in there and steal the car.
Yeah. That girl like walks up and he's just standing there in the open.
I can we talk about like real quick?
I know we haven't talked about anything about it yet.
So the the goons that work for Robisi in the beginning.
So like James Kahn or not.
James Kahn was like, what fucking movie are you watching?
Scott Kane. Yeah.
So you're talking about is it King?
I don't know. Con King.
I thought he was a Scott. Yeah. Scott Khan, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, well, just the names of the the boosters in the beginning.
There's there's Kip Reigns, which is Nicolas Cage's younger brother.
Robisi. Yeah. Played by Gary Robisi there.
Or whatever his name is.
Greasy, greasy, greasy.
My first note of this movie was by Gary.
You see, so greasy.
If Gary Busey ever plays Nicolas Cage's younger brother,
I will buy 30 copies of that movie and mail one to every listener
who gives me a comment that's just burnt on DVDs
that someone's had lined around for 20 years.
Just an old CDRW. Yeah. Yeah.
Um, but I wanted to talk about these these guys real quick.
So there was Kip Reigns.
There's a guy named Tumblr who has the dumbest looking mutton chops
and is just, I don't know, a beefcake idiot.
Fuck, what was that other guy's name?
There was Mirror Man, the one to be Dave Chappelle.
Oh, he's the tech guy. Never shuts his mouth. Yeah.
They'll say the thing that pisses me the most off
about the guy with the sunglasses is that he never takes them off.
Yeah, you know, he's completely blind for half of that movie. Yeah. Yeah.
Everything happens at night.
Got to wear your mirrored shades. Yeah.
So, yeah, Mirror Man, Tumblr.
There's a guy named Toby. That's the screw up.
Yeah, Toby doesn't do anything.
He's the one that like get he's like, I can get into the DMV.
Hack into the DMV, change
license plates and this and that.
And it's like, OK, you're you're an idiot.
And there was Frab Frab, the one you're thinking who hires pizza
like a madman and apparently steals drug dealer cars
and brings a bunch of heroin back into the shop.
I've never seen heroin.
Can you tell heroin apart from other white powder drugs?
They could probably not by looking. Yeah.
I didn't see any like gum rubs or anything like that.
Now that we've kind of talked about that scene, what's this movie about?
So Nick Cage gets pulled back in for one more heist.
He used to boost cars for a living, skip town for mysterious reasons
until his brother, Robisi Kip, goes a little wild on a job
and gets the attention of the cops and now is being held hostage by Dr.
Who Christopher Eccleston with a great wig
who is threatening to kill his brother to kill Nick Cage brother.
Memphis Reigns gets pulled back in to steal 50 cars in four nights.
Otherwise, him and his brother are dead.
To be clear, that's the job that his brother signed up for.
And then his brother bashed it.
Now they have to do it in the compressed time frame. Yeah, right.
Or else they're going to go into that coffin that Christopher Eccleston built.
So because he's impressive.
Yeah, he's the carpenter. He's an accomplished wood worker.
Yeah, that's his that's his mafia name, the carpenter.
Because it's 2000. He's a lame ass character.
I did not enjoy as well as your own motivation.
We I understand why Christopher Eccleston hates fucking Hollywood
because he was like British and mildly menacing.
So they just kept making him like shitty bad guys.
Foreigners are scary.
That's true. We don't like him here.
That was my one problem with one of my one problem is just that
the lack of motivation for the villain, right?
He's just being a jerk. Yeah, jerk.
He's promised somebody else 50 cars, and if he doesn't deliver,
he's going to look like an asshole. Yeah, it's not he's going to die.
It's not like the other guy's going to kill him or something or like.
Also, so the job is only worth $200,000.
When I heard that, I was like, fuck that.
Yeah, that was 2000, $200,000 in 2000 money.
Well, OK, so inflate that up to 500.
I mean, 300,000 million.
Yeah, it's like, I mean, the job is worth it.
We can use the rule of 72 here to figure out how quickly that would double.
Oh, good. Yeah. Do that for us, please.
I'm not going to put the job is mostly to save his brother.
He doesn't care about the money. Sure.
And we're busy. Fucking sucks.
He's a fuck up. You see his house. It's shitty.
Oh, man. His breakfast making skills suck.
What? What's in this?
What's in this? I don't know.
Yeah, it's garbage.
If my brother tried to serve that to me, I don't know.
Push him over. What was it? They're estranged. That's true.
That was kind of a fuck. Right.
First, was it though?
I think it was like an I helped you breakfast.
But then Nick Cage is trying to be like, you know, be nice.
He hasn't seen him in six years.
Yeah. Nick Cage now runs a go kart track like in the middle of nowhere.
He looks like he's having a great fucking day.
Also, you know, Memphis gets his pick of of the single moms.
Yeah, the tracks.
But the single moms that hang out in dirty go kart tracks.
Yeah. So I love that because my note for the go kart track is like, OK,
I want to go to a track and it just cuts to an old guy sitting in a chair.
Mike comes with its old old guy. Yeah.
As they all do.
So Memphis has to get his old crew back together.
Boosting these cars.
Sorry, you said boosting.
I counted the times they said boosting this movie.
15, only 15. Yeah.
Hmm. They're going to go hard on it in the end where they like
keep calling each other a car boost and stuff like that.
15 still a lot.
It's a lot of times it's a lot of one word. Yeah.
That is. Yeah.
Yeah. He's so he's got to get his old crew back together.
A real who's who's of nobody's except for Vinnie Jones.
Wait, in terms of actors, because the actors are great.
Yeah. Vinnie Jones.
Again, Vinnie Jones is in this who I love and everything.
He's the juggernaut bitch and she McBride.
He plays. Yeah.
So I love him.
His character is great in this, too.
My first exposure to him was in Boston Public.
Who? Black guy with the hat.
Oh, OK. The bucket hat.
Yeah.
Which this again, movie of a time.
He's introduced teaching an Asian woman how to drive.
She cannot drive.
And then he talks about how he can't swim.
Yeah. There's just something to be said about realism in film.
Oh, what I want.
Keep that in there.
Because we see this Asian driver crash the car in the first act
in the second act when they're getting a list of all the cars.
We see her at the DMV crying because she failed her driver's test.
So the thing she says when she's at the DMV and she failed her test.
Is you're supposed to speed up when someone's tailgating you.
Yeah, I thought that was good.
So in the third act, when the cops are chasing Memphis,
I wanted to see her just back out and just like like hit a cop car
to like stop one of the chases and she doesn't know what's going on.
That would have been a good finish to that.
Yeah. Three's right.
Yeah, it would have been funny.
Chekov's racism.
Oh, my God.
I assume Chekov was racist.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah. So 50 cars one night.
Angelina Jolie's in here for.
Oh, reasons.
What is wrong with her look?
Oh, my God.
I've never been less attracted to her in my life.
And I'm sure that's not the point of her role for me to be attracted to her.
But I'm pretty sure that's the I think that's why she is super weird,
white dreadlocks.
She looked like she was one of the villains from the second Matrix movie.
Like she looked like one of those little ghosty people.
So pale. Like did they powder her to?
I dude, I don't know.
Everyone looks like shit in this movie.
Looks like it's very one was hackers like 97 or something.
OK, I was wondering if like she just came off hackers who just did this.
Well, so apparently this that role was written specifically for her.
I mean, the role had nothing to it.
That's what I mean is I think they inserted it just so they could have Angelina
Jolie in the movie.
Hackers was 1995.
OK, because yeah.
Oh yeah, Fisher Stevens. Her in Memphis used to be a thing.
My high school theater teacher was in hackers.
Oh, shit. That's cool.
She was roller skater.
I guess there wasn't much to her roles.
All right. Just rolling.
Yeah. But so Memphis and her used to have a thing.
Then he disappeared.
Now she's gone legit.
So she can't join the crew until she just does.
Yeah. And then later on, there is a very uncomfortable
car sexy scene, almost sex.
I also didn't understand how their legs were intertwined in that scene.
I very confused. Yeah.
Have you ever had sex in a car?
The front seats of a car?
No, I've actually I don't think I've ever had sex in the car.
I've tried. I've had sex in the front seat of a car, but it was a minivan.
So there was some space.
I did it in a GEO.
In a GEO? Yeah.
It's one a metro storm.
OK, damn. All right.
Respect. I mean, it's no metro.
Have you ever been in a GEO store?
No, but I've been in a GEO metro.
Oh, yeah. It's about the same amount of space.
Less backseat in a storm.
The sports car of the GEO.
It is it had all four cylinders.
This is this is relevant for this movie, certainly.
Yeah, we're a car.
That's definitely a car that was taken over for.
What is it? Scrich and scratch on car talk.
Oh, yeah. Click and clack.
Yeah, we do have a very quintessential Nick Cage moment in the film,
because right when he's going back to being a hardened criminal,
he gets his crime jacket. Yeah, crime jacket.
I love a jacket.
And then he says, I'm a bad man.
Which is basically as good as if he had said, Cranton.
Yeah, Cranton.
Cranton jacket. What would your crime jacket be?
I feel like, you know, that kind of purple velour
coat that he's got in that Dead by Daylight game.
Like, oh, yeah, I think that'd be my look.
Just Nicholas Cage's actual jacket. Yeah.
I would probably wear
like one of those fleece lined bomber jackets.
Oh, that's good.
I'm going to go with like, oh, like a deer skin vest.
Not a jacket, but like a vest.
Nice. Does it have fringe?
Sure. Cool. And turquoise.
Yes.
Coterie.
Coterie jacket.
Nice. Very on brand.
Or a windbreaker.
Ooh, so good for best.
Crime.
So, yeah, this movie is not a movie that anybody watches for the plot.
I think it's fair to not talk about that any further.
No, it's a Bruckheimer movie.
Yes. You're here for some explosion.
Yeah, it's two hours of boosting cars.
You get to watch them steal cars in various
manners between either like
getting keys made from the dealership to like go steal them.
Or at one point, they when that fails for a couple of cars,
they break into the police impound and steal cars
that they tried to steal earlier and already had keys for.
They steal one nice car that just has like a door open button underneath it.
Oh, yeah. That was a nice car. That was cool.
It was like a hot rod.
Why would you have that?
Yeah, don't don't have a little door open button.
They steal a car from Dr. Kelso.
Oh, yeah. Which tells me this movie is in the Scrubs universe.
What's the one where he's an ambulance?
Oh, yeah. Bringing out the bringing out the dead has Carla's in there.
Yeah. So as a nurse, as a nurse.
So I'm just saying like all the cage films happen in the Scrubs universe.
So you're saying that is the scrubs is actually in the NCU.
Yeah. Which makes me think in the NCU,
Nicolas Cage is the most generic looking person.
Yeah. Similar to like how I'm super generic looking.
He's now the every man in cages.
Every man of the cage, Brockheimer films.
I feel this is the one that just goes from the word go.
It doesn't really ever slow down and it doesn't feel like two hours for me.
No, it's just action. Yeah.
And that's what it should be. Yeah.
So it's car chases.
It's cars being stolen a little bit of like criminal intrigue
as they outsmart cops and those cops were kind of cool.
So like, you know, we tried good cop, bad cop.
I kind of liked both of those cops.
Yeah, they were fine.
They put the heat to that one guy who just works at the docks.
He's just like, come on, man, I'm just trying to do my job.
Well, we're going to talk to your boss.
I'm like, fine. Well, that's I mean, people on parole aren't people.
Sean, I was going to say,
does anybody even know which one of us is which?
And I'm like, no, that's only in photos that people don't know which one is.
I introduce myself every time.
Yeah, they know which one's mine.
Identifiable voice and all.
That'd be a weird long con if you were actually Sean.
Yeah, it's just a huge bit.
We just switched it up from that one time when Sean fucked up the intro.
We did. Yeah.
We talked about that for Nick and Sean's podcast
where we're going to switch names to like our names have been changed
to protect the innocent. Yeah.
I was going to say, so I looked into some of the like the writing
and stuff like that, and the guy that wrote this also wrote High Fidelity,
which is like the most talky movie.
Yeah, it's like the most strange.
Yeah. But also J.J. Abrams did uncredited rewrites.
Yeah, he did a lot of punch up work kind of in this era.
He's he's sort of uncredited on a lot of movies to try and make like
a little more interesting, funnier, snappier dialogue.
Interesting. The director also directed Season of the Witch.
Yeah. See, I did the work.
That's just good because we did. Oh, great.
People don't come here for facts.
I was very nervous about being bad at this.
So don't worry. We set the bar real low. Yeah.
Great. We set you up to succeed. Yeah.
Yeah. OK. Favorite chasing.
I mean, the last one's really.
I know there's really only the one, but it's huge and it's great.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, he's in the Mustang, Eleanor, his white whale, his unicorn,
his unicorn, which was like there's only one of these in the city.
It's going to be the easiest one to track down if the cops get on to you.
Why not just steal it first?
I mean, it's because he's worried about it
because every time he's tried to steal this car, it's gone bad.
And then it goes problem. Let's be real. Yeah.
I did like when he was trying to find the car.
He goes to the dealership and he talks to that guy.
So Nick Cage goes into this dealership.
It's like a Ferrari dealership.
And he's acting out this character
just being very kind of foppish.
And the the dealer comes up to him. He's like, can I help you?
He's like, perhaps.
Hmm. But you know, this is the one.
Yes, yes, yes.
I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning,
which tells me one thing.
There's too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money.
Now, if I was driving a 1967 to 75 GTB for Cam.
So you obviously knew what you were coming in here for.
But he says wiener. And I liked that.
You just like the wiener part.
Well, yeah, I wrote it down because he said wiener.
I just wrote down self-indulgent wiener.
Yeah. What I like, though, is it's so corny, but he just goes,
your name's Roger. I'm Roger.
Two Rogers don't make a right.
And it's like, that's such a shitty joke, but it's perfect.
Beautiful for that character that that character is playing.
Well, from a long quote to a really short one, when he meets Chris
Rackle some of the first time and Chris Rackle's like, do I look like an asshole to you?
Yeah. Yeah, it's a short quote.
I'm always so flustered in these situations.
So like he ends up throwing the, you know, 10,000 bucks or whatever
it was back at Cage's face and nobody collected that money.
And it always drives me crazy.
I know it's like that other one where they in a rage where he doesn't recollect his money.
It's like, yeah, money goes into the poker game, puts the money down
and just start stabbing people and leaves.
It's like, wait a minute.
This isn't like a pay to play situation.
You don't have to like pay money to stab somebody.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can just stabbing are usually free. Yeah.
John, do you have a quote?
Oh, I have many.
The one that's not actually by Nick Cage is by Timothy Oliphant's
detective guy who very inconsistent, by the way,
like sometimes he's schmarmie, sometimes he's very serious.
I could not put it on him.
Stupid. Like, yeah.
But also sometimes smart.
Yeah, very confusing character.
Anyway, so at one time he says to Nick, by the time you get out, asshole,
there won't even be cars will be all coming or driving around in.
Spaceships.
I loved how much Timothy Oliphant's character annoyed the other cop.
Like he kept saying things like when he says the other cop's wife is mean.
Oh, yeah. And that look he gets in return.
Well, she is. Yeah.
She can be a little mean. Yeah.
That was a good character.
That was probably the best side character, like supporting character
in this movie. Yeah.
My favorite cage line, it comes at the end when being Reims finally talks.
And he just like, not being Reims of Vinny Jones.
Who's racist now?
Vinny Jones's line of wax is poetically at the end of the film for the first time.
And then Nick Cage just goes, Hey, man, I thought you were from Long Beach
and shrugs.
My favorite quote from this is definitely I mean, it's not
it's just one that I use a lot in my life.
They're getting ready to go out into do their boos.
And Nick Cage just preps and he's like.
OK, let's ride.
And that's it. They're listening to low rider.
Yeah. And all the all the young all the young kids are like,
what the fuck is going on?
And all like the old school boosters are just like.
Shut up. Yeah, it's a hype moment.
Yeah. But I don't know.
I say that all the time and I love it.
I wanted it to be tied to the music cue better.
He just like just random does it randomly.
Yeah. I mean, it was it was internal.
I guess it's hard. You got to you got to rev up.
Yeah.
I will say one thing. We've been talking about Vinnie Jones.
That it about him not talking.
Did anybody else pick up?
He actually talks earlier in the movie as well.
So when they're prying open the like security box thing in the garage,
the guy. Yeah, thank you.
He he's having a hard time.
And so Vinnie Jones comes in with like a screwdriver and says very quietly
like this and prize it open.
Oh, I was like, really? Did I hear that?
Sphinx. It was it.
I just rewatched that scene over.
It's a knife. And then
Mirror Man Mirror Man.
Why is that the hardest wonder?
I don't remember. But what's the other?
Mirror Man like he was a man with mirrors on his whole time
and just tells him he's going to kick his ass and being a gun.
Just like holds the knife up to him.
He's like, man, why are you going to take it so seriously?
I liked that pairing of all the like groups to be put together.
Vinnie Jones and Mirror Man, TJ Cross is the actor.
They are the best combination because he's the best.
They are the best combination because he never shuts up
and Vinnie never talks.
Did you guys get the Michael Pena sighting?
Yes. As the stereotype.
Hello. Yeah. OK.
So that's what that was. OK. Yeah.
So Eleanor, the Mustang, has such a weird fucking history in Hollywood
because the character or the car is trademarked from the first film.
And the wife of the original creator
apparently still owns the trademark and is super lawsuit happy.
If anyone ever tries to like use Eleanor or even tries to paint their Mustang
that color, she like just sends an army of lawyers after him.
It sounds like an asshole. Yeah. What color? Vaguely silver.
Yeah. Like the specific paint with a specific stripe.
She like and we'll never know. The 70s were in black and white.
This has never been tried because she just sends so many threatening
like her goons out that people just they're like, I don't want to have
to pay to deal with this, but she always takes these people's cars.
There was a guy online who was building a like robo car of Eleanor
and she sent her goons out and they like took it and he still doesn't have it
because he doesn't have the money to fight that lawsuit.
She's she's a. Yeah. Yeah.
There's a story here. Do we? There is this this lady.
Oh, we got to go steal Eleanor. Multiple.
Yeah. Weird little history to this film.
It's been gone in 60 years.
I mean, she will die soon, I'm sure.
That's fair. They never actually like say that in this movie, though.
What that an old lady is hanging on to the.
Yeah. Now they never talk about that.
That thing that happened years later.
No, but the God in 60 seconds, which I assume is just like
if you're stealing a car, you want to be gone in 60 seconds.
Oh, I know this because I did the research. Yeah.
So when they're at the
the impound lot behind them is a sign from the original movie that says,
if you leave your car unlocked, it will be gone in 60 seconds.
Yeah. And now, you know, dear listeners, background posters.
That's where the story is.
The story in this is all about that air tank
that gets dropped and pinballs off of four different cop cars in the final.
That chase scene is great. It is resolved.
It's got everything.
It's got construction workers who don't give a fuck.
Yeah, I really wanted to see like a plate glass being
oh, yeah, parted across the street.
We get a or a painting of an alleyway that they drive into.
I mean, it's practically there. The wrecking ball like slams a cop car
through a wall. Are you OK, man?
Good. Are you OK, man?
Yeah, because you just went through a wall.
Another quotable moment.
Yeah, it was good.
Something about this movie that really got me is like Nicholas Cage
really is the straight man through the movie.
Everybody else has some like fun character piece to them
or like moment and he just doesn't.
The closest he gets is like dry humping Angelina Jolie in a car.
That's it. I really enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun.
That's the thing about it.
It's like there's nothing to sink your teeth into.
There's no story. There's no.
Well, I mean, there's a story, but it's like summed up in two sentences.
But but it is fun.
It's well designed action and it has a good pace.
Yeah, it's car porn.
Yeah, there's not a lot of meat on the bone, but damn fine bone.
So I asked my wife if she wanted to watch this with me and she's like,
No, I've seen this like eight times in 15 minute intervals on TBS over the years.
That's how I'd seen this movie before.
Yeah. And that's rough.
Why not as it was intended to be consumed, certainly.
But commercial breaks in an action movie.
Kill me because it drains all momentum from the movie.
I feel sorry for her.
If she wants to come over and watch it, we can.
Oh, bring her on for.
Well, never mind.
I guess we don't know if this goes forward or not.
I was like, bring her on for the second season.
There you go.
I thought you were going to imply that the podcast fails.
I don't know if this is going to keep going.
I was like, Oh, yeah, you're right.
This could be the last episode.
Er, er, er.
Ouch.
What do you guys put it on the diagram?
The good cage, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, really?
Caged movie, bad, good.
I am not working well today.
No, it's morning.
Morning suck. Yeah.
I feel good about the cage and good about the movie.
Yeah, I would agree.
Yeah, not cage is best performance, but far from his worst.
Yeah.
Mid cage. Really fun movie.
Ghostwriter, spirit of vengeance.
I love it.
I'm done.
That's all I got to say. Good.
All right. I also kind of loved it, weirdly enough.
It's fucking wacky and I am here for it.
So this is from the same director as Mom and Dad and the crash films.
Crank. Crank.
Yeah. Crash is very different.
Crank films.
And by and large, this film is shot as if it's like a mid range
BBC action drama until you actually get to the action scenes,
at which point it goes off the fucking rails and I am 100 percent here for it.
I really enjoyed it.
I'm concerned that it got misplaced in our bracket.
Like it could have been a fucking weird one.
Yeah, it probably should have been.
It fits fine in both because it is good action.
There's, you know, motorcycle riding.
There's oh, OK.
When he turns that vehicle like at the quarry,
that one of his yeah, into one of his hell beasts.
It's like, oh, that thing is so cool.
I literally when they first comes up on the screen, I'm literally like,
there's no way that's a real thing that looks way too menacing. Yeah.
And then I went on the Wikipedia page and they're like, yeah,
this was the heaviest land vehicle for like 20 years in the earth.
So we were Sean and I were walking the other day
and we were talking about how everything turns into a hell vehicle.
Right. And Ghost Rider, how many miles did you go, by the way?
Oh, we're getting dangerously close.
So in Ghost Rider one, we know from the old rider
that the horse can become a hell horse.
Yes. So literally anything can become a hell whatever.
So I was like, could we just like jump on
Sean's shoulders and turn him into a horse?
What if he's taking a dump and he like pushes a little too hard?
And then the toilet flames out and he's just riding a hell toilet.
I love it. That's pretty good, too.
Not a vehicle, though.
I mean, it's a vehicle for poop, but Sean is definitely a vehicle.
It's a vehicle for deep thoughts.
So spirit of vengeance, Nicholas Cage is back as Johnny Blaze, the ghost rider.
He has been running from his deal with the devil,
trying to get away from himself and find a cure
only to wind up trying to track down the son of Satan
to save him from becoming the devil's form on Earth.
Also starring Idris Elba with the worst French accent ever.
He was nominated for an award for that, like a real one, not a Razzie.
Really? No. Uh huh.
Why? I don't.
It wasn't a BAFTA, but it was like a knockoff BAFTA.
OK. No, she wasn't a real American award for a decent French accent.
I had to think about what BAFTA stood for.
It's British Academy of Film and TV Actors.
OK. Was it a British Razzie?
I don't think so.
They got nominated for a lot of Razzie's, too, though.
Yeah. What was up with his contacts?
Like his eyes were just weird.
Why did he need weird contact with your eyes?
Yeah, it's strange.
But I liked him. He was just a drunk French dude.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Especially at the end when he's like, got the super old bottles of wine.
Yeah, I love when they.
So go good on a salad.
That was fun.
I think when Peter and I discussed this a little bit, my description of this film is
it's Ghost Rider with a lower budget, but they spent the money correctly
in that they spent the money on the action scenes.
Everything else that isn't an action scene is very hammy, very over, like overly dramatic,
overly acted.
The supporting cast is you have Giles from Anthony Stewart Head from Buffy
as a priest who dies in five minutes.
And then later, you have the Highlander, who, according to IMDB, did three months of sword
training for this movie, which I'm like, bullshit.
I think I believe that because the way he whips that sword around when it all goes dark
after, you know, he's trying to behead her or whatever, or behead the kid like that looks
professional. Well, the only.
But he's the Highlander. He shouldn't need to train.
Right. So the only reason the sword play, I think, looks better in this film than it
does in the Highlander is that man is legally blind.
So if they just put him in a great place, he's going to be like, oh, I'm going to be
blind. So if they just put him in a dark room and they're like, look cool with a sword,
easy when he has to like sword fight with live steel against someone else, they have
to stand five feet away from each other because he can't see what he's doing.
Most people have to stand like five feet away from each other in a sword fight.
This isn't the blindness thing. Most people have to stand pretty close.
You're thinking of knife fights. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
What if you have one of those like Sephiroth swords that are really long?
Oh, yeah. OK. Well, then you could probably stand nine feet away from each other.
Cool.
It's not a direct sequel.
It's more of a reboot.
Yeah, it feels like a soft reboot.
Yeah. Peter Fonda was interested in coming back for this.
I read I thought he was dead at this point.
Yeah. Oh, apparently he was interested in coming back to play the devil again.
Read five pages of the script and said no.
Well, I don't blame him.
I mean, there actually is not much of a script to this movie.
That's the biggest fault to it.
But I fucking hated Ghost Rider one.
And I thought this movie was a blast and it because it was nothing.
It was popcorn. It was candy in my mouth.
And then at the end, I was like, I could have more candy.
And it was sub 90 minutes.
And it was an hour. 29.
It's so fucking nice. Yeah.
That is refreshing.
Nick Cage is not in great shape in this film, but he's in the leather jacket
the whole time, so it doesn't really matter.
I love the fact that he's just kind of like this old beaten down like Ghost Rider.
The style in this, though, is cool, man.
Like I liked it. Yeah, I like the insertion of like the little animated bits.
Yeah. Or illustrated bits.
Oh, really?
I thought it was a fine way to like tell us more, John.
Frequent listeners of me and not this podcast will know that I've done
a little bit of writing and like that just strikes me as such lazy.
Like, yes, I realize the writing in this movie is blah, blah, blah.
Also, can we talk about why?
Because the writers that were involved in this movie are like accomplished writers.
There's no reason this should be this bad.
Yeah. Probably time limits.
They're like, we'll pay you for a movie in like
give us a movie in a week, two weeks. Yeah.
I mean, we're talking about the people that did Batman.
The good ones.
David S.
Goyer. Yeah, David S. Goyer wrote this.
He's also written the worst of the blades.
He directed Blade Trinity. I love Blade Trinity.
I kind of like Blade Trinity, too.
It is the worst of the blades, though.
But I think it's because I like What's Her Face.
I just like Round Rounds. I was going to say, right.
Oh, no, not Beal.
The bad vampire villain.
I like the bad girls.
Was it Parker Posey? Is that who it is?
I think so. Parker Posey, such a bad girl. Real bad.
Yeah. I was thinking of January Jones.
Oh, she's a bad girl, too.
I just like calling girls bad girls.
Sean, you're a bad girl. Thank you.
You know, spanking.
Balls, big round balls.
So yeah, Johnny Blaze has to get Danny, the son of the devil.
I'm just going to go back to it.
I was like, fuck you guys.
I'm not a bad girl.
I said, thank you.
I said, when you say you're going to spank me.
OK, this is another movie where the plot doesn't fucking matter.
The devil Rourke wants Danny because they can do a soul transfer
and then the devil can have his full power on Earth.
That's the story.
Nothing. It doesn't matter.
Johnny's trying to track him down.
And the deal is Idris Elba's.
Clandestine monk group can remove the ghost rider from him.
But it turns out they really only needed Idris Elba
because the rest of the monks didn't help.
Yeah, they just wanted to kill it.
Yeah. But like what kind of assholes are they that they wouldn't just do that
for free?
They're supposed to be some kind of weird Christian monk order thing
like seems like eliminating a hell demon from the surface of the earth
would be kind of up their alley.
Yeah, but face tattoos aren't cheap.
And they had a lot of face tattoo.
They did have a lot of.
Apparently, Chris Lambert hated the makeup so much
that he just didn't take it off and would just go back to his hotel with that.
I think that's what the decay guy did as well,
because his makeup went from like very thick and white at the beginning
towards the end. It was like kind of pink and sweaty.
Yeah. Blackout.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
Things are showing through the scenes a little bit in terms of the.
You can see where the budget was, and it was on one.
The ghost rider looks fucking awesome.
Yeah, I completely agree.
Any like we said, any vehicle he rides in this becomes a hell vehicle.
And like Danny's even like, well, what if you get in a taxi?
What if you ride a camel?
Hell taxi. I really wanted him like I want a ghost rider movie
where he gets in a monster truck.
I want to see him drive Grave Digger.
Well, I want.
Here's the thing is to be so sick alarms bouncing around.
This movie had truckasaurus.
Hell truckasaurus.
This movie had so many great little ideas that I really wish it
would have done well off to get a third one of these films for sure.
With these same directors, that would have been so much fun
to let them do what they did, but with an actual budget.
You write a letter to Kevin Feige.
Yeah, it's funny because it so the budget was like
anywhere between that says 57, 17 and 23 dollars.
Somewhere between 17 and 23.
And it did make a profit.
It made 132, which, you know, you had advertising and all that stuff.
It's like that's not great money, but it wasn't a fucking bomb.
Well, it wasn't the states, though.
This took international box to cover.
This was the second and last film under the Marvel Nights imprint
where they were trying to do slightly darker movies.
Punisher Warzone being the first, which was an R rated Punisher film
starring Ray Stevens, which I love. Same.
And this, which was originally supposed to be R rated.
And then Sony got cold feet and made them make a PG-13.
That's sad. This would have been way cooler.
I was R rated. Yeah.
The coolest thing about this film is if you watch the making of this movie,
the directors are like both cameramen and the way they got
a lot of those motorcycle stunt scenes where like you see the wheel up close.
The director's just sketching the blades on the back of the motorcycle
holding the camera. Yeah, it's wild.
So the scene where Idris Elba goes over the cliff director
holding on the motorcycle, riding behind it and just let's go
at the last second and just goes around that turn.
And the other director is in a harness over the cliff
that slingshots him back with a camera with the stunt man coming at him.
It's insane. Yeah, those guys are pretty crazy.
I've got it written down and like that was the coolest shot. Yeah, for sure.
That's so bad.
And when they're when they're doing the stunts on the road,
when like Johnny is trying to show off to Danny, same thing.
He's sketching like a get behind the motorcycle and just like letting go
and the other motorcycle stunt man just right by him.
Watching how they film this movie is insane.
I just want to say I haven't heard the word sketching since the last time
I played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, I think.
I've never even heard it until right now, and we heard it about 15 times.
So there was also
there was a sketching and stitches.
There was a yes, they do.
Probably. Yeah, there was a sketching video at one point.
Oh, weird. Yeah, that is weird.
All I know is rollerblades are dumb.
You're more of a roller skate man. Whoa.
Hot take hot takes. Tell us more. Hot takes.
Oh, I hate those inline wheels.
One time I was. OK, so here's a rollerblading start.
I was rollerblading down this hill in the town I grew up in.
I was maybe like 12.
So it was OK for me to be on rollerblades.
I'm going around this corner, and I didn't want to be on the street
because it was a pretty blind corner.
It was a really steep hill and sharp corner.
So I'm going down the sidewalk because I knew nobody ever walks up that hill.
And as I'm getting down, there's a funeral home at the end,
and somebody was just pulling out of the funeral home.
And they like I'm going maybe like 35 on my rollerblades.
And this car pulls out and it's like, fuck,
I'm going to hit them in like 40 feet.
And there was just a chain link fence next to me.
And without thinking, I just grabbed the fence and just clothesline myself.
Like this hand got like kind of like caught in the chain links.
I just like go up and then hit myself like right down on the ground,
like maybe seven, eight feet from the corner where this car is.
And they just kind of looked and then pulled out and left.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
12 year old, too. Yeah.
I'm just dying on the side of the road.
You gravel embedded into your arm.
So you said something interesting there and that it was OK.
You're on rollerblades because you were 12.
So I'm curious, are you saying you were old enough or young enough
to be on rollerblades? What's the appropriate age to rollerblade?
I think you can rollerblade up until.
Twelve and a half.
And then you have to go into classic roller skates.
No, then you should either be skateboarding or taking the bus.
Like those are your options.
I'm getting back to this because I do love this movie.
Nicholas Cage is outstanding in this.
Like he's worked with this director again.
This director just wants him to go fully cage when he's a ghostwriter.
It's two speaking lines, but it doesn't really speak like the one.
He's the ghostwriter.
And it's cool that he was doing, you know, the motion stuff for the ghostwriter.
Doesn't really play.
That's Nick Cage. It doesn't really need to be Nick Cage,
especially because they do a lot of like speed up, slow down,
because the spirit of vengeance is is an insane fallen angel.
So they really play up that spirit of the Vengeance,
that the ghostwriter is just toying with people.
So there's just he's just standing there, just swinging his chain
and just like swaying back and forth while everyone's like,
what the fuck is going on?
Yeah, some of that was kind of weird, but I did love the physicality
that he brought, especially with the head motions, because very jerky.
And doing a Stevie Wonder at one point. Yeah. Yeah.
But it looks good for, you know, something that doesn't have muscles like.
Yeah, maybe it's doesn't do.
There's no weird pointing.
He doesn't do that. Oh, I know. We're so sad about that.
I really miss his weird point from the first movie.
That's the only thing I liked from the first movie.
Peter and I were talking about how perfect it would have been at the end
when he like goes to heal Danny and he's like, and then he like hands
and it's like, oh, it should have been a pointing heel.
This movie has also the it's the first time that they have an in universe
reason for a Nick Cage performance because the demon is has gone insane.
So Nick Cage just goes full on crazy.
He just gets to be an insane person. Yeah.
And thank goodness, because that's what we were all missing in life
was an actual justification for Nick Cage has.
Have any of you seen the stills of him in the Ghost Rider scenes?
No. So Nick Cage.
I mean, I paused it a few times.
No, not that the CG like him on set as the Ghost Rider.
He showed up on set, not telling anyone
with full Baron Smedy makeup from Live and Let Die.
So he had like witch doctor makeup, like white, white face
with like blackout over his eyes and stuff to get more in character,
which serves nothing to the movie.
He just did that. Yeah, it helps him.
Yeah, that's fine.
It's just like fucking crazy person. And I love it.
Are you saying you've never done that?
Insane performance, insane action when the Ghost Rider gets blown up
for the second time and he's just floating three feet above the ground
and slowly spinning.
Yeah, I was wondering if that was something like I haven't read
a lot of Ghost Rider comics or anything.
So I don't know like where his weakness is or anything like Venom
has his sonic kind of weakness.
Does the Ghost Rider have like a flash bang version?
In the first one, it was daylight made him turn back into like
regular Johnny Blaze, but they don't really fuck with that.
Well, they do in the very beginning.
They're like, that's right.
Yeah, the Ghost Rider doesn't like the light.
And it's when Danny gives him his powers back that he can go out in the day.
Also, the fact that a movie of this era, a lot of CG heroes
or a lot of CG action at the end of the film brought daylight.
They're like, no, none of this darkness.
We're not going to show you what's happening.
Broad daylight Ghost Rider fight.
Well, they had to save the darkness for all the.
What was that guy's name? The rotting guy.
Blackout blackout.
Well, it makes sense.
Yeah, the blackout scenes for the blackout.
What was with those? I didn't.
I don't know.
The character in the comics power is he can just make anywhere he's at.
Just pitch black so no one can say.
Cone of darkness. Yeah, kind of.
His power to just anything he touches just rots instantly.
Except the Twinkie, except the Twinkie used, which is hilarious.
Just by the way, that was very.
Joke. But that led me to think who eats Twinkies like that?
Because he just like puts it in his fucking mitt
and like pops the bag by squishing it and then go gurgling into his mouth.
He was driving it in once at the time he was busy.
I can open a Twinkie and drive the fastest way to get a Twinkie in your mouth.
Yeah, we have to use the plastic to. Yeah, that's fair.
And I just swallowed the whole thing.
Oh, I do love how deadly his chain was and how it was just splitting people
in half and burning them up.
But where was his penance there from the beginning?
He does it to one guy, but they don't really show an effect.
Yeah, there was no effect.
It just kind of looked like he was staring people down and like
enjoying watching them be afraid.
Was that the guy who had like an illegal download or whatever?
And because of it, they show up and he's like spirit of vengeance
shows up while he's on Napster.
And he's like, did you pay for that?
I do want to say
when the second fight with Kerrigan at the quarry,
Kerrigan sees the penance there, seeing he's like, don't look at him.
So the next time they meet up and like Nick Cage is holding him by the face,
the actor plays Kerrigan is looking everywhere else,
like is directly trying not to look into Ghost Rider's eyes.
I thought that was a nice little touch. Yeah.
I felt a little seen at the beginning, though, when it was like the
it was like the voiceover exposition thing.
And then the eyes like stare at you and break the fourth wall.
I was like, oh, what did I do?
The legal downloads, baby.
Yeah. This isn't my quote, but I did write that down because I did like
I did like that.
Don't put this in, but I definitely was fired.
Yeah, he's going to come for you now.
And you don't want to be around when that happens.
You see, there's good and bad in all of us.
Maybe you're not a murderer.
We've all done something.
You don't want the writer to see a white lie and the legal download. What about you?
I bet Lars Ulrich got them to put that line in there.
Fucking Lars. Yeah, he's the worst.
He's the worst Metallica.
It's like Metallica, like a Voltron.
Yeah, basically, I think I guess all bands are kind of like a Voltron.
Variously important, important appendages. Yeah.
Like, what was it? Def Leppard?
They didn't need the one arm.
Oh, man.
First, a joke that a story joke.
I have a joke and a story, actually.
So when I was in Def Leppard.
So what I got to remember this right.
What has nine arms and sucks?
Def Leppard, because he's missing.
So when I was living in Montana, I was I lived in Missoula
and I was going to Billings for a Def Leppard show and I got pulled over.
And because I was doing somewhere around like 95 or something on the freeway,
which you think is fine because the speed limits like 80 in Montana.
But I got pulled over for doing that.
And it was just so weird to me because like towns and cities are so far apart
there that I didn't get a ticket.
He had a credit card reader and I paid $40.
That was my fine.
And then I left. No court appearances.
It's just $40 fine. Keep going.
Did you get a message? Mexico?
Yeah, I got a receipt.
That's pretty efficient, though. I kind of like that.
Yeah. So what if you contest it, though?
Then you would probably have to go in and pay the money.
Yeah, that would be like a couple hour drive.
Yeah. All right. Let's let's get our quotes in.
OK, I've got a couple, so I'll just put some in here and there.
We just do it off the dome. I'll sprinkle them in.
No, I've got my own here.
But we did this all off the dome, Peter.
You have everything. No notes.
No notes. One of my favorites is just at the end
when the ghost rider knocks Kerrigan off the car and then they run him over.
And then ghost rider just looks back and he's like, roadkill.
Oh, yeah, that was the second line. Yeah.
That was a good one.
Mine is let me get something straight.
The guy who kidnapped Danny and tried to kill you and blew me up
chugs a bunch of pills with grenades.
You two were like boyfriend and girlfriend.
The follow up line to that was a no, I get it.
You have the devil's baby mama.
I like that one. That was my.
So my my quote is when Johnny and what's the devil's baby mama's name?
Persephone. I also was looking at this and I was just thinking like this.
Nadia does not pass the Bechtel test.
Now, she's the only there's like one other woman in the entire thing.
And she's like a gas station attendant or something.
We know more about the fact that she's Romani than.
Well, OK, she plays up every poor stereotype of gypsies.
True. In the world, like, you know, she is going like she robs a guy.
Her and Danny like steal some guys wallet and like wedding ring
when he tries to hit on her and they're always she's the worst.
I hate her.
But you never like her name's forgettable.
But she's a gypsy.
So which is not a good term to say. Correct.
Kerrigan is kidnapped, Danny.
This is after the first ghost writer scene, but before the quarry.
And they're questioning a thug who knows Kerrigan and they've seen that.
They've been texting.
So Nick Cage, like puts the phone in the guy's mouth and goes,
Kerrigan must have told you about that thing that killed the men last night.
Huh? Yeah. That thing is inside of me.
See, you're a bad man.
And this thing, the writer, he feeds on bad men and he's hungry.
He's hungry than he's been in years.
That's why I'm shaking.
Because right now, the only thing that's standing between you and the writer is me.
And he's just he's scratching at the door,
scratching at the door.
And he'll tell me what I want to know.
I'm going to let him out.
And when he's done with you, there won't be anything left of you.
Understand? Yeah.
The scratching at the door line, that was the one time in this movie
that I was like, come on, I still like it.
I loved it.
So bad. Yeah.
So, yeah, I got a couple more that I'll just bang out real quick.
But seeing I can't remember what led up to it, but he's just writhing on the floor.
He just says, Merry Christmas, you assholes.
They end the movie with
a conversation like, is it over?
It's like, I'm going to say, yes, hell, yes.
Oh, fucking dumb. Come on.
I thought it was perfect.
Yeah, it is good.
But my favorite quote or my favorite line, probably
they're sitting like in a diner or something.
And it's Nick Cage and Danny.
And Nick goes to like brush the kids hair for some fucking reason.
I don't know why, but he like reaches out and the kid
like kind of pulls back and Cage is just like.
It was a bee.
I thought it was going to sting your face.
It's like you're inside.
There was no fucking bee. Why are you trying to touch children?
Come on. The spirit of Vengeance is going to have some words with you.
I just want to I do also just love the opening little thing.
My name is Johnny Blaze.
I used to ride a motorcycle for a living.
I did a bare ass 360 triple backspin in front of 22,000 people.
It's kind of funny. It's on YouTube. Check it out.
They should have made that for YouTube.
Everything about this film is amazing.
It's pretty.
I know, John, you don't like the like little
illustrated illustrated like things.
I mean, it's just again, I think that's a more of a budgetary thing
than anything else.
Everything about this movie, especially as a ghostwriter fan,
just fucking hit for me.
Well, and for me, so the big thing, like, again, as I mentioned,
I hated the first one in this one.
It felt like a comic book.
It was light on, you know, a lot of things, but it didn't matter.
Like I had enjoyment the entire time and that really made a difference for me.
It feels like the most comic book Marvel movie that I've ever seen.
I have one criticism, only one criticism of this movie.
Only 90 minutes.
Steve Buscemi was underused.
Why was Nadia an accomplished sniper at the end?
Why did she have a fucking sniper rifle?
And why was she just nonchalantly picking off motherfuckers?
The run of your people are very skilled.
Where did she get it?
Are you going to tell me she stole it?
That's racist.
Then she get it from Idris Elba.
Then you have the whole arsenal.
Yeah, probably in the basement. Yeah.
With the wine. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'm usually like, I'm hating you less more.
Oh, she like
to good cage, good movie, bad kids, bad movie, good, bad, bad, good.
A bad cage. Good movie.
Interesting. Outstanding cage.
Good movie. I love what he's allowed to be wacky.
Yes, but are we?
OK, we've never talked about actually what these bubbles in the diagram are.
I don't think it matters.
Is it a good performance?
A good, good acting? Is it good?
This movie is actually like kind of a bad movie.
Yeah, it's a terrible movie, but it's a lot of fun.
That's terrible.
No, I mean, the acting is very over the top and wacky
and it's not like a deep performance, but it's exactly what it's supposed to be.
I feel and it was better than the Ghost Rider take from the first.
Yes. And it's very entertaining.
So, yeah, he's this is like probably the cagiest we've ever seen him
where he's just allowed to go full on just himself in a Ghost Rider movie.
Yeah, definitely that.
I enjoyed him thoroughly.
So in terms of just pure enjoyment, I'm going to say great cage.
And what for the movie? Great movie. Great. Great.
John, what do you think?
Uh, I'm pretty close to Sean.
I'd say, you know, great cage bad movie like this.
His acting in this was simultaneously bonkers and also amazing.
Yeah, it was exactly what I wanted out of Nick Cage.
If this isn't like this is the best version of everything
people make fun of Nick Cage for in terms of acting.
Yes. And I mean, I agree.
It's what I wanted from the movie.
It's not a good performance.
OK, no, you're right.
It's not, but it's still fun.
Yeah. And that's fine.
I'm totally in on that bad performance, bad performance.
Good result. Good result. OK, I like that.
Yeah, bad performance, but in the Venn diagram, a bad movie or bad cage,
good movie, you have Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance in the butthole. Yeah.
You heard it here first. Right in the pocket.
This is the butthole of Nick Cage movies and you're going to love it.
You're going to eat it up. You millennials.
So without John, what do you where would of these two?
What would you again?
Your opinion does not matter, but what would you put forward?
This is actually really hard because like we were saying, Gone
in 60 Seconds is actually like a pretty decent movie.
It's just totally unremarkable, whereas Spirit of Vengeance is
a bad movie that's inexplicably good.
Like if it was a minute longer, it wouldn't be good anymore.
It does. It does know when to stop. Yeah.
I think you should send
Spirit of Vengeance on the jobs.
I'm inclined to agree.
It's the more they're entertaining for different reasons.
But this is like I love the spectacle of it so much more.
And it's I had so much more fun watching it and rewatching it.
It was simultaneously not as great as I built it up to be.
Having only seen it in theaters.
Oh, we didn't even talk about the flame thrower.
He's done. Yeah.
Like your favorite part of the movie is the flamethrower.
P and you didn't even talk about it because there's so much other stuff
to talk about in the cell.
I mean, they show it twice. Yeah.
They did get a lot of screen time.
But I like I remember seeing this.
I saw this movie in theaters when it came out and I loved it then.
You went on it. Was this a date?
No, I went to too fast, too furious on a date.
I know we've been dating for a while, but I still walked out of the movie.
This was before my love for the fast franchise.
I mean, too fast, too furious was a tricky one.
Yeah, that was a big, big shift.
Yeah, I I hadn't seen the first one.
I didn't even think about that.
I saw this movie in like South San Francisco.
I got out of the theater at like 11 o'clock to have a bunch of texts
from Meredith who had locked themselves out of their house in Oakland,
like lost their keys, was locked out of their house, locked out of their car.
So I had to drive like 40 minutes to Oakland
to help them break into their house.
Good thing you had your hell car and my crime jacket.
Speaking of the crime jacket and the ghostwriter crime jacket,
one thing I picked up is when his head is on fire, the jacket boils.
Yeah, the shoulders boil.
I was like, that was cool.
Yeah, the finish on that leather jacket is pretty fucked up.
Yeah, because of all the other times.
Anytime he's not ghostwritered out, it's just fine.
I mean, the the leather is kind of peeling.
Yeah, I want to say, you know, spirit of vengeance.
I mean, in terms of a cage performance, it's the cagiest of performances.
Well, it looks like we got 12 minutes to argue.
So no, I'm kidding.
I'm perfectly fine with spirit of vengeance.
That I think that'll be a fine movie, a little misrepresented in the bracket.
But it is still works.
Yeah, it's just a weird action movie.
So it works in both.
But yeah, it's much weirder than I remembered it being.
I just remember the straight action parts of it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So spirit of vengeance may move forward.
Sweet. I feel good about that. Nice.
I don't know if there's any real this week in cage, but I know spirit
or sympathy for the devil comes down.
You guys are going to go.
It came out yesterday. Yeah.
So well, yesterday being the day before we recorded.
So came out on the 28th of July.
There you go. That's the time that came out.
So Nick and I are going to watch this at some point and record a little.
Our thoughts on this week, we're going to do a Peterless record.
Yeah. Yeah. Godspeed.
He to me. Yeah.
Drop a couple sound bites down for us and we'll just insert you somewhere.
Oh, good. Yeah.
I've been waiting to say, we'll just insert you somewhere for most of my life.
Guys, focus. Yeah.
So we'll just record you doing one of these.
Perfect. Yeah, that's the best jerk off motion recorded ever.
Just send us the raw audio of that time.
You yelled at us when you're going to go straight.
Oh, man. Yeah. We'll insert that in there.
God, that was a bad episode.
Yes. So we've got a.
Sare for the devil is out now.
Yep. We're starring Nicholas Cage and Joel Kinnaman.
We will record something on that.
Nick is dead by daylight. The LC, I think, finally came out.
Yes, I've been seeing photos of that people playing online.
So if you play dead by daylight, go play as Nicholas Cage
and listen to all those weird Nicholas Cage lines.
I listen to a bunch of them.
Yeah. You sent us a clip from YouTube that was like 20 minutes of just the audio.
Just his audio files.
Being like, come on.
Yeah. Are you kidding me?
Which is probably good fodder for like clipping into other things.
We should use that. Yeah.
Well, take that Nicholas Cage.
You're going to be on our podcast whether you like it or not.
Oh, come on.
And I don't know what else is going on in Nick's world.
You're talking about you.
Oh, maybe.
That's the sequel to Bobby's World.
Bobby's World. Bobby's World.
God, I haven't thought about Bobby's World forever.
That's the only time I ever think about Howie Mandel.
Do you remember the Louie Anderson cartoon?
Oh, yeah, that was great.
That was pretty good. I love that.
Yeah, I remember the episode where he went to camp, which is kind of like camp.
Yeah, yeah. It's just all ages camp.
The line from that show that always that's where you get diddled.
This is like.
Little brother just saying, told you I could eat a whole stick of butter.
Oh, fun story. Well, not really a story, but fun fact.
I used to eat butter straight as a little kid.
My parents had to keep the butter off the counter.
Oh, you went for soft butter.
Yeah, it is like counter butter.
You didn't have counter butter.
Oh, no, I still counter butter. But if I was just eating a stick of butter,
I think I might want like a refrigerated stick.
I feel like it would grease my mouth too much if I went softened butter.
Yeah, but I don't know. I'll have to try it.
Salted or unsalted.
I don't remember. I was like four.
Mm hmm. I'm an unsalted butter guy. Me too.
John, do you have anything you want to plug unsalted butter?
Yeah, John Brand's unsalted butter.
Good. Get it wherever you podcasts are sold.
Perfect. Excellent.
Thank you for being here.
Thanks, John. This is a lot of fun.
Yeah, so yeah, next up, we've got matchstick men and guarding tests.
Yeah, so anyway, thank you for listening.
Please rate, review, subscribe.
If you'd like to throw any money at us, we are on Patreon at CageMatch.
Or you can find us on the street.
You could do that, too. Yeah.
But ask first, because I don't want you giving money to some rando.
Yeah, that's true.
There's a lot of people that look like Nick. Yeah.
But yeah, thank you to our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico,
Matt and Adam and to our cage dancers, Ira, John and Freeman.
Hey, that's nice, John. Yeah.
I paid my way on here.
That's the only way you get on this show.
Do you want to talk about flaming piss again? Always.
With my doctor, though.
Bye bye.
What was that? Was that a butt?
That was my toe, my sweaty toe squeaking against the wood chair.
Yeah, nice.
See if I can do it again.
No, no, it's a.
Fortunately, we caught the audio, so I'll isolate that.
The most entertaining strip clubs I've ever been to are the ones
with the acrobatic strippers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.
They start clicking their heels. That's obnoxious.
Yeah. Roller skating strippers are pretty good.
Oh, that's a new one.
I would like to see some tap dancing strippers.
OK, so what you're talking about is burlesque.
Really? You would definitely see a tap dancing.
Oh, yeah. I should go to Dante sometime down in Portland.
They do. Well, I don't know if they're still doing it, but they used to have a thing
on Sundays called Sinferno.
And it was like a huge burlesque show had like go go dancers.
There was a guy that would just show up with a snake like he'd have his boa constrictor
and he just walked the audience.
There was like close up magicians in the audience and burlesque dancing.
It was fucking sick. That sounds awesome.
There's like indoor fire pits.
OK, I'm in. Yeah. Dante's was rad.
What I want. But what I want is like the level of like a high school talent show,
like people with bad talents.
Just doing them topless. Oh, so you just want me to do the podcast topless?
Yes. OK. So have you ever seen somebody like on their first nights or weeks?
No. OK, so let me just start this off with culturally in Portland,
strip clubs are not as weird for people to just go to as in some other cities.
I remember being in Portland once and going into a restaurant, getting a burrito.
And then I was like, I got to eat a burger.
I'm getting a burrito. And then I was like, I got to use the bathroom.
They're like, just go through there.
And it was you walked through the strip club. Yeah.
It was like, oh, OK.
There's owned as strippers, erotic or exotic dancing.
So it's not like a sex industry thing.
It's a dance industry thing.
I've been to some where, you know, they would have somebody out
for their first week or whatever.
And there was this one girl.
This is the most memorable one.
She comes out and like very uneasy on her, like eight inch heels
and kind of like gets up there.
She does her piece, which is mostly just holding on to the bar for support
while she kind of like wiggles and rides in a circle around it.
Never like did any pole work.
Never did any.
Like she did a little bit of ground stuff, but she wasn't real good at that either.
People had left some money up there,
but she couldn't like bend over to pick it up in her heels.
She wasn't good enough.
So she had to like kind of tiptoe off the stage and get out like holding her clothes.
And another stripper came up and picked up all the money for her and brought it back.
And it was just the saddest thing I've ever seen.
And I'll never forget or ever stop talking about the time I saw a lady's first strip.
How do you know it was her first, though?
Yeah, maybe she did. They say that.
Yeah, they did not say it, but I'm going to hope that it was her first
because if it was like second or third and she couldn't even figure out
how to lay on the ground and shake her butt.
You need a clip, shake her butt and just drop that in occasionally.
Shake her butt, shake her butt, shake her butt.
You guys don't have a soundboard.
We should. Yeah.
No, no, I mean, not that kind of soundboard.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, well, well, well, well, only when we're on Discord.
Yeah, then we can bust them out.