From the time that they pronounced me that was
a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then
they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I
could see people screaming and crying But I didn't
realize that was actually my physical body because
I was somewhere else The only thing that I could
feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was
greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back
home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.
Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody.
We're happy to have our special guest today,
Cedar Branches. Good morning. How are you, Cedar?
Morning, Eric. I'm okay. How are you doing? Good.
It's good to see you. We had a great talk yesterday.
And I feel like I need to give sort of a Intro
disclaimer, whatever we want to call it before
we get started today to let our audience know
While this is going to be full of positive energy
and thoughts. This is a very unusual near -death
type of experience that some people are going
to Maybe have a harder time dealing with and
that's okay. We're also going to be discussing
some sensitive topics like suicide and so if
that's something that you know maybe you're not
ready for it this time that's okay just wanted
to give you a little heads up on that and remind
everybody if you're ever in any kind of a crisis
there's the 988 crisis line you can always reach
out to and have somebody to talk to but let's
jump in on a more positive note cedar take just
a minute and tell us a little bit about you I'm
51 years old, turning 52 tomorrow. And I previously
lived a corporate life, living the American dream.
And I left my career in 2011 and dedicated myself
to a path of devotional spiritual service. After
that period, the journey has been really wild,
which I'm sure we're going to talk a little bit
more about today, including a few near depth
like experiences. You know, I'm going to be sharing
what I share today. And this is a little bit
of my disclaimer as literal because my rendering
of my experience is very literal to me. Hope
that anything that I can offer today is, is a
value to anyone. Well, I appreciate you being
here. I know it's not easy to be as vulnerable
as the things that we're going to be talking
about today. And hey, let me be the first one
to say happy birthday tomorrow. Oh, thank you.
I will spare you the singing, but happy birthday
and congratulations. And what does it mean to,
I forget how you worded it, something about how
you left regular life and started on a spiritual
journey about 15 years ago. What does that mean?
How did things change? Well, I found myself living
a corporate life. I actually worked at Microsoft
Corporation as an analyst. I had worked really
hard over the years to gain that position. And
I had what a lot of people might really believe
is the American dream. You know, I had a beautiful
family and I drove a Cadillac and I had a good
paying job, a condo in the suburbs of Seattle.
And I still didn't have happiness. And I, you
know, I really felt like on a daily basis that
I was sort of serving the beast for lack of a
better metaphor on that, poisoning my soul. My
health was in decline and I just truly wasn't
happy at a soul level. And so in 2010, I really
reached a rock bottom point where every day I
was waking up with a very difficult question.
That question was, should I get up and go to
work today or should I die? And while my mind
basically told me on a daily basis that I would
choose that, I didn't. And I made the right choice.
And I continued persevering through until early
2011, where in early 2011, my marriage came to
a gentle and loving end and my career also came
to an end. As of June 2011, through some shamanic
classes I was taking, I really realized my soul
calling was not about money or materiality or
following the rules, but was really to try and
find ways to be in service of something greater
and higher than myself. That really became my
path. And what that looked like to me was every
morning I would wake up. And time was on my side,
even though I didn't really have any finances
to support me. And I would listen to my heart
on what I believe Spirit was telling me to go
do or where to go. And I would follow that, would
think. And it led me a lot of places for a lot
of years. I'll bet there's some other people
listening right now that are feeling somewhat
the same way. But that is a scary leap to just
jump. Any advice? I wouldn't recommend it for
most people. I really think that there's other
easier ways. I really have gone through in my
life and I've made a lot of arguably foolish
decisions that were necessary for me to learn.
I think other people could mediate that a little
better, learn how to value a little more what
is in your life, and find ways to become more
authentic with yourself. without necessarily
casting everything aside. All right. Well, let's
get into the NDE stuff. Let's go back. You had
three different experiences back in the early
2010s, 2010 to 2014. Give us an idea of what
was going on and what led up to the first and
second ones, which were a little minor compared
to the third one that we're going to get to in
a few minutes. What was going on? Well, in 2010,
like I said, I had reached my rock bottom. And
in very early 2011, I had one of the final arguments
with my ex -wife, now ex -wife. Our marriage
had really been based on attachment as well as
a form of love. But it was very much based on
attachment and fear of loss. When I had that
argument, I set out onto the roads in the night
and my one of my faster cars. And I know I was
out there being reckless and that the whole night
was kind of a bore. I have faint glimpses of,
you know, maybe having an accident, maybe not.
And really when I sort of came out of my boat
that I was in at the moment, I found myself parked
at a gas station. And I was really certainly
from that experience, even though I can't describe
a lot of details from it. I was a different man
when I came to in that moment. And it was the
next morning that I went to my ex -wife with
love and we decided to separate and that was
out of love for each other. It wasn't in a fight.
It was more about allowing the other to find
their own happiness on their own path. And so
that one taught me a lot. I'm gonna throw out
another term that's used often and I don't know
if you've heard this before. It's called a spiritually
transformative experience or STE. versus NDE.
Do you feel like the thing that you just described
was more of that? Very likely, yeah. Now in my
rendering, since I don't have a lot of detail,
I can't really say as much as with the other
experiences, the literalness of how I experience.
But in that case, I would definitely agree. And
that led to a whole change in your life. Absolutely.
Definitely transformative. Okay. So you keep
going down this path, you get to a point later
where you're doing all kinds of meditation and
fasting and that leads up to the next experience.
So go ahead and go through all of that. I really
heavily depended during that time you're talking
about on community support and being in community
to make sure I got fed. But one of the things
that happens in the Pacific Northwest in the
winter is community sort of disappears while
people go inside to hibernate, I suppose, for
the winter. I actually ended up going to my stepbrothers'
home in Granite Falls and I brought a small amount
of food with me. It was supposed to drag me through
the winter and it really wasn't enough. And so
I was already just due to my health issues and
basically a starvation mode. And after three
months, I had run out of food. I had run out
of sweetener for the tea that I was drinking
on tea fasting. And I really went through a starvation
experience. That was a slow process, you know,
weeks and weeks and weeks of meditation and releasing
through every layer of attachment, you know,
attachment to ideas, to material materiality,
to relationships, to my own beliefs, and even
to wipe itself. And as the starvation sort of
turned to where it looked like I was really at
risk, which was sort of a shift in aim into euphoria,
which I recognized as a symptom, as I faded off
to sleep that night, I sort of, the writing was
on the wall that it was likely that my organs
would shut down while I slept. And as I was sort
of resolving through that, I found I still had
one regret that was still with me. And that was
the thought of a soulmate who I didn't know,
who was out in the world waiting for me. And
that, you know, I might have some sort of a soul
contract to go meet them. And that I regretted
that I wouldn't be able to fulfill that in my
life. I moved on from that as well. And the move
on was kind of in the form of asking spirit.
There's something left for me to complete. Please
eat me here. But if there's not, I'm ready to
go home. And the next morning I woke up and a
friend of mine was on the doorstep with food.
I guess it was my choice to return to life to
fulfill that. And just on a positive note about
that experience, it has since been fulfilled.
Absolutely. I like how you just said something
about going home. Like that was a possibility
that you might be going home. That's a term that
we hear a lot. from people who have visited the
other side. I know nothing about your religious
or zero religious background. Why did you come
up with that term home? It's related to partially
to belief probably because I believe we all come
from one source and we all return to that source
not even in a religious way. even a physics way,
I suppose. It's additionally related to what
I found every time I stared at that veil and
that edge, and that it's as if there's a sea
of just infinite peace and love, and it's a very
welcoming place, and it has that feeling of home,
you know? That's really where it resonates to
me. Every time I stood at that edge, it looks
like home. It's very inviting. There's nothing
wrong there. Very peaceful place. And it just
feels like home. How else would you explain that?
Besides the words peaceful and home, any other
adjectives to... Welcoming is really dead. And
it's much like a sea of infinite love and an
unconditional love at that. And, you know, it's
pretty amazing for me every time I've sort of
been at that place because in life, I have a
lot of struggle that goes on in my head and I...
I find things very important in life, whether
that's something I think, what my beliefs are,
or I'd see it in other people, what politics
are, and all of this. And really, when you're
in that other place, there's none of that. And
being on the other side of it, it just feels
like we make so much more meaning about this
life than is actually necessary. The other side
has such a perfection and such an unconditional
love. that you can look back and you can say,
well, there was nothing wrong the whole time,
and I made it mean all of this. And then it's
clear on the other side. Okay. Thank you for
all that. Let's move forward to 2014. Life gets
even tougher. Tell us what's going on now. Well,
I had continued going along with my devotional
service. I was trying to teach a lot of things
that I was learning at the time in my developing
wisdom. Still very not matured at that point.
But I did find a lot of personal healing. And
one day in mid April that year of 2014, I went
on a medicine walk, which is something that I
would regularly do. It was kind of like a spirit
guided walk without direction and listening to
the heart and going where you're guided. And
I ended up at a bridge over a ravine. And I had
a vision there of me falling to my death off
the bridge. It took me back a little bit. not
just because it was such a graphic vision, but
also because I didn't have any fear around it.
I felt it was kind of a peaceful vision, which
was a little surprising to myself. And I didn't
take any immediate action on it. I had other
obligations to attend to, so I moved on. Well,
the next day, or maybe a couple of days after,
I sort of woke up out of a writing an automatic
writing trance if I would do things like that
at the time. And on my computer in front of me
was a suicide note. I looked at it and I understood
that I had a place and that I had a plan. And
I realized that these were pretty big warning
signs that maybe I should call for help. And
so I called a friend. They didn't answer I left
a kind of a superficial message, you know one
of those Oh, hey, give me a call when you get
a chance sort of things and then after I didn't
get a call after many hours or maybe even the
next morning I Pretty much decided I was gonna
walk down to that bridge But I I couldn't leave
the friend that I had call With a dishonest message
and feel like I had done them any service. So
I called him back I was much more honest when
I left the message at this point about sort of
the urgency and the situation that I was in.
And after they didn't call back for a while,
I put on my shoes and I went to the door. And
as I reached for the door, that friend called
back. They came, they picked me up. They showed
me just the great amount of love and compassion
and understanding. They took me to a different
location through a community house that was full
of naturopathic physicians and dealers and you
know a bunch of men kind of around my age or
younger and I spent a couple weeks there in a
lot of healing work, internal healing work around
what I was going through as well as teaching
and trying to give gifts to them while I was
there. A couple weeks later toward the end of
April there was a quiet moment which was rare
in that house. I sat down to meditate and a spirit
basically told me in those moments that this
conversation That I had had since my youth about
death and about dying and killing myself was
gonna come to an end once and for all Which was
honestly relief to my ears And I was like, yes,
please Then spirit gave me the instruction to
write that suicide note by hand and to go to
the bridge And I was in brawl You know, I wasn't
planning on going and killing myself, but I was
definitely ready to step into what spirit had
in store for me. So I scribbled the note out
and I walked the number of miles over to the
bridge. When I got there, I paced the bridge
for a while. I meditated. I burned some sage
and some kapal. And then at some point I stopped
near the middle of the bridge, looked over the
edge and spirit. said jump and so I jumped and
I fell to the trail below and my bones broke
and blood spilled out about me and I died. I
was taken into, we'll call it a vision. I was
taken into a vision that tracked all of the people
who I loved and who loved me through the lives
moving forward and while I think before that
occurrence I had hoped that my death might actually
make a difference for someone. What I found was
that it didn't. That, you know, it made people
sad for a while, that they needed to process
through their healing, but I really learned that
other people's lessons weren't my responsibility
for them to learn. You know, everyone's got to
learn their own truth in their own way. And then...
something really miraculous happened. There had
been a few college students who were on that
bridge when I jumped and spirit resurrected my
body on the trail below. And I stood up and I
was complete. There was no broken bones. There
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them that we sent you. This didn't last long
because then I was shown that what had happened
with those college students who had witnessed
the fall and who had witnessed this resurrection
experience. And they went on through their life
and at first they tried to tell other people
about it. You know, I'm sure it sounded extraordinary
to anyone they told. Ultimately they got into
therapy around it. It wasn't believed. It didn't
land with anyone. After time passed even the
people who had witnessed such a crazy miracle
Didn't even believe they had witnessed of anyone
and it affected less than the death itself and
so I had hoped that Prior to this I had hoped
that you know the the performance or the working
of miracles witnessed by others would make a
difference for them and I found that it really
get them and again, it sort of goes back to the
the same message about that everyone's responsible
for their own truth and their own lessons. Then
I moved into a period that I would refer to as
an experience of Nirvana, which is an infinite
place with no contrast and no experience. It's
that place of rest that I touched on and that
home that I touched on in the first death experience.
But it was gone as soon as I As soon as I was
there, as soon as it arrived, it was gone. Then
I found myself scanning back on top of the bridge,
as if not a breath had passed. And I heard three
messages from Spirit at that time. I'll go a
little bit slow with those. The first was, it
takes more courage to live than it does to die.
That answered some of my questions that were
in that note. The second message was even more
significant. we can affect more in life than
we can in death. And here I had thought moving
into this whole scenario that my death would
affect something in life and I was shown it doesn't.
We can affect so much in life for each other.
Really the value of the gift we have here. And
then the third message was I still have more
works to complete and specifically another work
to complete. It was really around Not so much
me teaching but someone learning what I had to
teach This was at the same time on the same day
that I wrote the note. I just found this the
other day, too I had seeded philosophy all the
applied karmic magic it's 12 years later now
over 12 years later and I actually just finally
published that work and What it became after
growing for over a decade? Okay, I'm trying to
unpack all this. Let's jump into it a piece at
a time. And by the way, what you wrote, it is
a memoir. It is available out there if people
want to read it. We'll stick a link down on the
show notes later. Let's talk about a few things.
We have listeners that are religious, I'm not
religious, we have atheists, we have Christians,
we have Buddhists, we have you name it, okay?
And I don't want to at all pigeonhole what you've
been talking about into one of those kinds of
boxes, but I do want you to clarify a few things.
And that is, let's just start here. When you
say spirit, What are you talking about exactly?
Because Christians might think of the Holy Spirit
and other people might think of, well, it's just
the spirit world in general. What does that mean
to you exactly? For me, it was my name. It was
my name for God at the time. I'm a very spiritual
person. I've done a lot of religious studies,
but I don't subscribe to any particular religion.
I like to keep my heart open. And even from a
Christian background, what I've learned is that
if we have faith in Him, we'll find Him everywhere.
And there's no reason for us to fear some other
language. And so, spirit to me is sorts. It's
a unified soul that we all share, regardless
of what our culture or our religion is. Other
people who are non -religious may call it the
universe. I actually... Really like physics myself,
you know as a different kind of language. It's
like how does this experience work and What is
this world that we live in and how is that rendered
for us? We don't necessarily have a really good
language for a lot of these things and so I'd
use the word spirit I've used the word magic
then one of my two one of my two new books. I
use the word armor Thank you that helps now I
have to interject a little of my own belief here.
And I try not to do this very often, okay? But
if spirit to you is like God to me or to somebody
else, I just can't wrap my mind around God telling
you to jump from a bridge. Please explain how
that could be a thing. Well, so I've done a lot
of actually Transcendental Meditation and Buddhist
practices, which involves really spilling the
ego, and stealing that monkey mind, and listening,
and learning to listen. That's also been nearer
to the shamanic practices I've learned. It's
about listening, about paying attention to the
symbols that come forward, about learning what
spirit's telling us. Really when it comes down
to it, when I say that the spirit told me something,
it's not words, I'm not hearing voices. It's
not so literal like that. It's that I've got
a still mind, a still way of being. I'm listening
to my heart and I'm observing the symbols and
visions that come forward. And then I'm putting
those into words, into my own, you know. Sure.
Okay. Okay. Let's talk about, you used the term
vision, which sounded quite a bit like a life
review. Would you say it's similar to a life
review? The first... Sorry, the second death
experience, the starvation death experience,
was what I would consider a life review. It was
looking at my past, it was looking very much
at where I had been, and it was really centered
for me at the time around regrets, or missed
opportunity, or regrets for things that I had
done. So that really looked more like a life
review. And the third experience, the bridge
experience, the life review was much more forward
-looking. And so I'm not sure I would call that
a life review in the same way. Okay. No, I get
it. Sort of a forward -looking life review. Like
if this had happened, then that would be a result.
Is that kind of a thing? Sort of a cause and
effect? Yeah. Okay. I like that. Another thing
that some people are really going to have a hard
time with. So let's talk about it. This is not
me Giving cedar a hard time. Okay, we're just
we're just talking through things that people
are feeling right now You use the term resurrected
Yes, sir for your body after jumping from the
bridge and most people that believe in resurrection
are gonna say No, no, no, no. No. Okay. Maybe
you were healed but resurrected. That's a whole
different thing So explain why you use that term.
I have no other term for someone who is dead
being brought back to life and You know, I really
don't want it I really don't want to challenge
people's belief structures and I mean even when
you get into to scriptures Christ wasn't the
only resurrection that's noted and You know,
I this is a big one. This this is a big one for
me to say I think this is really important I
speak about these things as literal because they
were literal for me. I really have nothing to
prove to anyone else. There's no benefit for
me to prove these ideas to anyone else. And I
just hope that they can take on this story however
they take it. And I hope it had value to them.
You know, the themes are more important than
the proving of something. As long as we're talking
about proving, do you mind? And I'll edit this
out. if you do mind. Do you mind if we talk about
a medical diagnosis that you have had recently?
Because to me, this shows you absolutely are,
you're just trying to be honest. What's going
on with you? Well, the end tale of it is called
hypogonadism and cricaxia, which are two muscle
wasting conditions. And they basically mean that
my body is continually actively consuming the
muscle, and the hypodonadism doesn't allow me
to create new muscle. I'm currently in the one
percentile for my age group. I've pretty much
given everything that I have. And those two conditions
are sourced from other chronic conditions, celiac
disease, systemic bucus, COPD, a non -alcoholic
fatty liver disease, and a couple of others.
That's just my life and my karma. I was sort
of born with it, and it got exacerbated through
all kinds of things in my life, especially the
art lifestyle. I was told just over a year ago
that there was a 70 % chance of me dying by April
of 2026. And here we are, it's July. This year
I've got an updated prognosis. It says there's
an 80 85 chance of me dying before June of 2027
and The road doesn't end until it ends Keep proving
them wrong my friend keep proving them and meanwhile,
I'm going to complete everything that I can You
know because coming to that point for me I understand
that it's the worst suffering I've ever experienced
in life and I've been for a fair share of what
I call suffering is in the times up and having
regrets and I definitely wouldn't wish that on
anything. Here I am, I've written my autobiography,
I've written Applied Karmic Magic which is the
framework for something new and it's the real
gift for others. There's a lot of other things
for me to wrap up in this life still and a little
more work for me to do at least. So it's a personal
responsibility and it's actually in a way selfish
because I know now when I go to face that day
that I'm complete, that I did everything that
I could and that I don't have to move forward
with regrets even if something didn't succeed.
Do you have any fear of death? No. No, not at
all. You know, I've been through it enough times.
There's nothing to fear on the other side of
death at all. I'm still not certain there is
such a thing in reality. I think it might be
something we walk through, but I don't know any
more than anyone else. Well, I can tell you I've
interviewed hundreds of people who have been
through it, and I've had it described in so many
different ways. A lot of people have said it's
just like walking through a doorway. Yep. It
is just that simple. Now, unfortunately with
our physical bodies sometimes there's some pain
associated with getting to that point. Nobody
looks forward to that. But walking through a
doorway into a better place is pretty nice thing.
And, and we're putting that off as long as we
can. That's right. That's what we're here on
this earth for. We're not here to jump out of
it. We're here to experience everything that
we're meant to experience here. So I hope all
these things that you're wrapping up, that you're
doing them slowly enough that you're with us
as much longer as possible. Thanks. Thanks. Me
too. You know, I'm grateful for every day and
you know, I couldn't agree with what you said
more about it. So for those that are struggling
with life right now, as you have at many times,
give us some kind of a message of hope. What
is there to look forward to and to keep working
for? Well, all the greatest gifts in my life
have actually come through suffering. And it's
not to make light of suffering. Suffering is
not easy. But every time I have found a gift,
it's been in the darkest points of my life. Every
time I've received a lesson, it's been from the
suffering that I've experienced. There's a reason
for this suffering. It's not that suffering is
good. I can't say that to people. I don't wish
suffering on anyone. But when it does happen,
sometimes it's necessary. And the rewards are
worth more. And that kind of goes back to something
people would commonly say, you know, we take
the bad with the good, enjoy the miracles that
this life has to offer, and just live it all
whole. Well Cedar, you're an inspiration. I appreciate
all that you're doing. Any last thoughts you
want to leave us with today? Love is the alchemy.
Let's return to love. Love yourself. Love those
all around you. Love the spirits that you believe
in. Operate from love. Don't follow the fears.
And that's about all I could really say. Thanks
again for listening and sharing this podcast.
Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button
and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath
.com. If you want to share your near -death experience
or if you have questions or comments about the
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good
that you're looking for in this life and the
next.