WEBVTT 00:00:03.790 --> 00:00:06.669 From the time that they pronounced me that was 00:00:06.669 --> 00:00:10.250 a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then 00:00:10.250 --> 00:00:13.609 they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I 00:00:13.609 --> 00:00:17.129 could see people screaming and crying But I didn't 00:00:17.129 --> 00:00:19.510 realize that was actually my physical body because 00:00:19.510 --> 00:00:22.890 I was somewhere else The only thing that I could 00:00:22.890 --> 00:00:26.809 feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace 00:00:26.809 --> 00:00:29.829 there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was 00:00:29.829 --> 00:00:33.070 greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back 00:00:33.070 --> 00:00:36.869 home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home. 00:00:38.909 --> 00:00:40.869 Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody. 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:45.049 We have a fun guest today, Renee Martin coming 00:00:45.049 --> 00:00:49.469 to us from Texas. How are you Renee? Great, great. 00:00:49.570 --> 00:00:52.369 Thank you very much for having me. Well, you've 00:00:52.369 --> 00:00:55.070 got an interesting story and I think it's a good 00:00:55.070 --> 00:00:58.469 time to remind people that every NDE is different. 00:00:59.289 --> 00:01:01.149 Oh, I don't need to remind people. I say that 00:01:01.149 --> 00:01:04.540 all the time. But yours happened at a young age. 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:08.219 So memories are, you know, are limited. The most 00:01:08.219 --> 00:01:10.439 important part is the trajectory that it set 00:01:10.439 --> 00:01:13.040 you on your life from there. So we'll be going 00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:16.500 through all that. But if you don't mind, if you 00:01:16.500 --> 00:01:19.060 could just take one minute and just tell us a 00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:21.799 little bit about Renee. And that can be anything 00:01:21.799 --> 00:01:24.879 from where you live or your family or anything 00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:27.319 so we can get to know you a little bit. Yeah, 00:01:27.319 --> 00:01:31.200 sure. So I just moved from Montana to Texas to 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:33.340 be closest to one of my daughters I had two girls 00:01:33.340 --> 00:01:36.120 and my youngest is you just recently married 00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:39.340 And so I came here to be a little bit closer 00:01:39.340 --> 00:01:42.799 and she's in her 30s early 30s My oldest daughter 00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:45.840 is in Northern California where I have she's 00:01:45.840 --> 00:01:49.079 giving me two beautiful granddaughters So she's 00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:53.819 uh her late 30s So just the two girls and me 00:01:53.819 --> 00:01:58.359 it's just meet solo, you know I've been going 00:01:58.359 --> 00:02:02.000 through so many changes and have been doing a 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:05.000 lot of creative things that I never thought I 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:08.699 would ever do. So the last, I'd say, at least 00:02:08.699 --> 00:02:12.060 15 years, I've been doing art. I've been doing 00:02:12.060 --> 00:02:15.120 a lot of art and it kind of came out of a death, 00:02:15.180 --> 00:02:18.219 my brother's death. So I've been doing that. 00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:20.539 It's been going great. Right now I'm in 10th 00:02:20.539 --> 00:02:24.099 place for the Johnny Depp competition that's 00:02:24.099 --> 00:02:28.469 going on. So I have to be in top 10 to make it 00:02:28.469 --> 00:02:30.650 to the next round. So kind of fingers crossed. 00:02:30.669 --> 00:02:33.150 We'll see how that goes. And I've also been right. 00:02:33.270 --> 00:02:34.849 I've been writing my whole life. I'd love to 00:02:34.849 --> 00:02:37.650 write photography. I do a lot of photography. 00:02:37.849 --> 00:02:40.930 I stay busy doing a lot of created stuff. Is 00:02:40.930 --> 00:02:42.889 that one of your paintings behind you there? 00:02:43.870 --> 00:02:46.909 Yeah, that's a it's acrylic core in the background 00:02:46.909 --> 00:02:49.949 and then it's the trees are made with glue, hot 00:02:49.949 --> 00:02:53.729 glue. So they have a nice texture to them. So 00:02:53.729 --> 00:02:56.090 everything goes behind it and then the tree goes 00:02:56.090 --> 00:02:58.710 over top. So yeah, that's a really fun piece. 00:02:59.469 --> 00:03:01.469 Well, the big question that I have for you is 00:03:01.469 --> 00:03:04.009 this. How do you like your new son -in -law? 00:03:04.330 --> 00:03:07.550 He's great. But both my girls, this is their 00:03:07.550 --> 00:03:10.490 round two. So they definitely did it right the 00:03:10.490 --> 00:03:12.770 second time around for both of them. They're 00:03:12.770 --> 00:03:14.750 in love with each other. And that's really where 00:03:14.750 --> 00:03:17.030 it should be. You know, but when you're young 00:03:17.030 --> 00:03:20.750 and I did that because I'm very young and divorce 00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:24.759 was a blessing for me. But yeah, he's great both 00:03:24.759 --> 00:03:27.020 both of them are well I want to go ahead and 00:03:27.020 --> 00:03:29.879 jump right into it Take us back to when you were 00:03:29.879 --> 00:03:33.539 just a little girl Wow, you had kind of a rough 00:03:33.539 --> 00:03:36.879 upbringing family -wise I don't know how much 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:39.180 of that you want to tell us about but if you 00:03:39.180 --> 00:03:42.699 feel like it go ahead and let's lead up to the 00:03:42.699 --> 00:03:46.460 fateful day Yeah, so I'll try to nutshell it. 00:03:46.460 --> 00:03:50.139 I'm gonna do a little bit before that what actually 00:03:50.139 --> 00:03:53.210 happened And so I recently turned 60 in January 00:03:53.210 --> 00:03:56.610 and I just needed to write a story. I just needed 00:03:56.610 --> 00:03:59.150 to get my life out on paper and I didn't know 00:03:59.150 --> 00:04:01.729 why. I wasn't compelled to do it, but I just 00:04:01.729 --> 00:04:05.069 felt like I needed to. I was in January. And 00:04:05.069 --> 00:04:08.750 I started with age five, but as I started writing 00:04:08.750 --> 00:04:11.430 the story, I started remembering things that 00:04:11.430 --> 00:04:14.590 my uncle told me. Uncle by friendship, he was 00:04:14.590 --> 00:04:16.970 my dad's best friend. He started telling me stories. 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:19.550 My brother used to tell me stories about things. 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:22.019 And I never put the two together really until 00:04:22.019 --> 00:04:26.100 I wrote it all out on paper. And it was the most 00:04:26.100 --> 00:04:27.779 amazing thing I couldn't gift I could have given 00:04:27.779 --> 00:04:30.779 myself was to write all the trauma out rather 00:04:30.779 --> 00:04:33.639 than just remember it here and there. I never 00:04:33.639 --> 00:04:35.959 talked about it. You know, nobody wants to know 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:39.000 about it. It's kind of. So anyway, my father, 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:42.720 a born and raised Catholic, was apparently, I 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:46.259 found out later that he was he was hand selected 00:04:46.259 --> 00:04:51.339 by a Nixon mafia leader. To be a soldier fighter 00:04:51.339 --> 00:04:55.259 his his dad. My grandpa was a Mexican boxer in 00:04:55.259 --> 00:04:58.620 Mexico They are all born. They're all from Mexico 00:04:58.620 --> 00:05:02.680 US scout scouted him and said hey come and fight 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:04.620 for the United States So that's how they got 00:05:04.620 --> 00:05:06.699 to the United States I guess the Apple didn't 00:05:06.699 --> 00:05:09.300 fall far from the tree because he was a good 00:05:09.300 --> 00:05:11.459 fighter and I used to hear that all the time 00:05:11.459 --> 00:05:14.240 from his brother I just never thought anything 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:16.500 of it. You know, I just it's just kind of like 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:18.930 people talking, you know Until I started putting 00:05:18.930 --> 00:05:21.930 all pieces together and a good fighter can be 00:05:21.930 --> 00:05:24.829 a positive thing, you know an Olympic boxer that 00:05:24.829 --> 00:05:28.029 kind of thing great Yeah, I mean my grandpa was 00:05:28.029 --> 00:05:30.410 really good boxer. He won a lot of champions 00:05:30.410 --> 00:05:33.509 in Mexico I don't know how many he did here, 00:05:33.529 --> 00:05:36.089 but he he boxed I don't know how long he boxed 00:05:36.089 --> 00:05:38.370 in the United States, but he was a professional 00:05:38.370 --> 00:05:40.370 boxer He wasn't a street fighter where my dad 00:05:40.370 --> 00:05:43.029 was a street fighter He used to get picked on 00:05:43.029 --> 00:05:45.670 apparently a lot and he was the last man standing 00:05:45.670 --> 00:05:48.069 and so I think that's what caught the leaders 00:05:48.069 --> 00:05:52.009 eye on him Was hey, we need to they call them 00:05:52.009 --> 00:05:54.350 mascots. So so we were like we got to go get 00:05:54.350 --> 00:05:56.430 that guy again on our side So that's what they 00:05:56.430 --> 00:06:00.850 did age 13. So his life changed Traumatically, 00:06:00.850 --> 00:06:04.069 you know for himself because I don't think he's 00:06:04.069 --> 00:06:06.569 a bad person or anything like that You know, 00:06:06.569 --> 00:06:10.379 I I think that he had a very traumatic upbringing 00:06:10.379 --> 00:06:13.199 I I found out after doing some research that 00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:16.319 he was you know I didn't believe it when I when 00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:18.759 he told me that and then I started writing this 00:06:18.759 --> 00:06:21.819 story and Then and then I called him again, and 00:06:21.819 --> 00:06:23.639 I was like I need to get a little more validation 00:06:23.639 --> 00:06:25.879 You know I need to understand this a little bit 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:29.259 more He gave me some more, but I felt like he 00:06:29.259 --> 00:06:32.040 was resistant. I can't really share like oh She 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:34.259 she's going somewhere with this, and I don't 00:06:34.259 --> 00:06:36.259 know if I want to share all of that my dad's 00:06:36.259 --> 00:06:41.279 past getting past my father, he went from Catholicism 00:06:41.279 --> 00:06:43.980 to Jehovah's Witness. And I honestly believe 00:06:43.980 --> 00:06:47.879 that because the reason why he did that was when 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:50.779 you are part of this particular mafia, it was 00:06:50.779 --> 00:06:53.980 the white fence gang was the name of this mafia, 00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:57.660 Mexican mafia. And I guess that's called blood 00:06:57.660 --> 00:07:00.399 in, blood out, you know, like a mafia where you 00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:02.579 don't leave the gang. You don't just decide one 00:07:02.579 --> 00:07:04.379 day, hey, I'm going to go, you know, peace out. 00:07:04.819 --> 00:07:09.420 You know, it's been fun. We call it tenure. Yeah. 00:07:10.420 --> 00:07:12.560 No, not the good, not the good kind of tenure. 00:07:13.060 --> 00:07:15.399 I know you don't, you know, but yeah, you definitely, 00:07:15.620 --> 00:07:17.519 you know, if you guess you're in, blood in, blood 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.819 out, that's, that's, that's a pretty serious 00:07:19.819 --> 00:07:22.360 tenure. I'm trying to shorten this and not go 00:07:22.360 --> 00:07:24.720 down the whole path, but. That's okay. You're 00:07:24.720 --> 00:07:27.579 leading up to the day that you were injured. 00:07:28.379 --> 00:07:32.439 Yeah. Yeah. And, and so I think all of the things 00:07:32.439 --> 00:07:34.459 he, he had a family in tokes, there was three 00:07:34.459 --> 00:07:38.610 of us and I was newborn. I believe in so from 00:07:38.610 --> 00:07:43.850 1950 to 1966 when I was born In 66 is when he's 00:07:43.850 --> 00:07:45.949 like, okay, we're gonna go so then he became 00:07:45.949 --> 00:07:50.170 a JW I I believe he hid behind This religion 00:07:50.170 --> 00:07:53.009 to hide from them cuz you know, he took us off 00:07:53.009 --> 00:07:55.449 grid and we've traveled all over the place, but 00:07:55.449 --> 00:07:57.589 I don't think this I don't think the anger ever 00:07:57.589 --> 00:07:59.629 left him. You know, I know that because I grew 00:07:59.629 --> 00:08:02.149 up in this house and me and my brother kind of 00:08:02.149 --> 00:08:04.290 got the worst of it. He really lashed out. He 00:08:04.290 --> 00:08:06.310 was very physical, violent. He was emotional. 00:08:06.389 --> 00:08:08.790 You know, he was also mentally violent, you know, 00:08:09.089 --> 00:08:13.310 and he very manipulative kind of thing. Anyway, 00:08:13.949 --> 00:08:17.310 the day it happened, I guess he was having one 00:08:17.310 --> 00:08:20.970 of those days and came home early. I was five 00:08:20.970 --> 00:08:24.649 and There was a little boy who lived next door 00:08:24.649 --> 00:08:26.209 and we lived on a farm where there was nobody 00:08:26.209 --> 00:08:28.329 around. So we didn't have neighbors. We had like 00:08:28.329 --> 00:08:30.209 a mile away. You could see a house, you know, 00:08:30.209 --> 00:08:32.429 like down in the distance somewhere. One of the 00:08:32.429 --> 00:08:37.350 little boys came home with my sister and two 00:08:37.350 --> 00:08:40.950 years older and just wait until his dad got home. 00:08:41.370 --> 00:08:43.250 We were in the tent. My sister went to get snacks. 00:08:43.409 --> 00:08:45.629 My dad came home, found out that I was in the 00:08:45.629 --> 00:08:48.419 tent with a seven -year -old little boy. And 00:08:48.419 --> 00:08:50.779 I guess he just I guess he lost it. So the tap 00:08:50.779 --> 00:08:53.379 went flying. All I remember is we're playing 00:08:53.379 --> 00:08:57.320 duck duck goose. And and I heard heard these 00:08:57.320 --> 00:09:00.340 heavy footprints. And I know that kind of energy 00:09:00.340 --> 00:09:03.259 from him because he's done it. I could tell when 00:09:03.259 --> 00:09:06.299 he's, you know, in that place, the tent just 00:09:06.299 --> 00:09:08.779 kind of went flying. And and then I blacked out 00:09:08.779 --> 00:09:11.419 when I opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground, 00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:15.220 not in the tent, looking up at the sky. I don't. 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:17.600 I don't remember dying or anything like that. 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:21.840 I remember when I woke up, I felt like my body 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:24.460 was inside of a bell, you know, like I was kind 00:09:24.460 --> 00:09:27.720 of vibrating. Maybe the voices sounded like they 00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:31.120 were very muted, maybe even under like when someone's 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:33.620 trying to talk underwater or something. And I 00:09:33.620 --> 00:09:35.460 remember just staring at the sky and the sky 00:09:35.460 --> 00:09:37.320 seemed to be the focus for me when I was laying 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:39.799 there. And I do remember bits and pieces of that 00:09:39.799 --> 00:09:43.019 because it's most like flashes of little things. 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:47.740 I remember the sky, I was moving, all of a sudden 00:09:47.740 --> 00:09:50.820 I saw these floating heads come in. One was my 00:09:50.820 --> 00:09:53.080 mother, but the other one I thought was my grandmother. 00:09:53.620 --> 00:09:55.600 What I found out later, there was nobody else 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.120 there except for my father and my mother. So 00:09:58.120 --> 00:10:01.039 whoever that mystery lady was, there was two 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:03.700 ladies heads and they're all freaking out. But 00:10:03.700 --> 00:10:06.100 I remember moving past them, going up into the 00:10:06.100 --> 00:10:10.240 sky. But I wasn't just like, I was moving up. 00:10:10.379 --> 00:10:13.879 I felt like I was moving. I could see the ground 00:10:13.879 --> 00:10:16.019 below me. I could see the farm and all of our 00:10:16.019 --> 00:10:17.879 animals. And then I just blacked out. And when 00:10:17.879 --> 00:10:20.879 I woke up again, I was being rushed on the gurney 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:23.820 down the hallway into this kind of a sterile 00:10:23.820 --> 00:10:26.539 green room. This black mask goes on and then 00:10:26.539 --> 00:10:30.519 lights out. So that was the gist, I believe, 00:10:30.519 --> 00:10:33.960 of what happened. And I call it an NDE because 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:38.000 I've never been told you died. I've never been 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.399 told that. My family, in fact, denied or not 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:43.539 denied, but made up a story that didn't make 00:10:43.539 --> 00:10:46.740 any sense. But I think that because my dad was 00:10:46.740 --> 00:10:50.100 hiding from this mafia, if they tell him the 00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:52.779 truth, I don't know if they had CPS back then. 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:54.720 But from what I understand, I don't know if you 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:57.860 can see the scar on my face. Scar kind of goes 00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:00.000 all the way up and around here. And that's where 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:02.899 a pole hit me in the face, which is the only 00:11:02.899 --> 00:11:05.340 was the pole in the tent. There is apparently 00:11:05.340 --> 00:11:08.000 some arteries, some pretty significant arteries 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:10.720 that run through here. And I had 31 stitches. 00:11:11.019 --> 00:11:13.360 So I just kind of started putting all the pieces 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:16.919 together that way. So I can never really honest, 00:11:17.019 --> 00:11:19.440 I can't say I have a piece of paper that says 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:23.299 that I died. But with all the things, when I 00:11:23.299 --> 00:11:26.620 came back, when I came back, it was just so different. 00:11:27.259 --> 00:11:30.779 I started having a lot of experiences, supernatural 00:11:30.779 --> 00:11:33.940 experiences. Yeah, we'll get to those in a second. 00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:37.139 Some people might ask me, why are you having 00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:39.820 somebody on the show that just was unconscious 00:11:39.820 --> 00:11:43.600 for a little while? And the reason why is I think 00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:45.899 there's more to it than that. And one of the 00:11:45.899 --> 00:11:48.080 reasons I think there's more to it than that 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:51.600 is because of what happened in your life afterwards. 00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:55.899 But also when people are just knocked out, for 00:11:55.899 --> 00:11:57.919 those of us that have had that kind of experience, 00:11:58.759 --> 00:12:01.440 you remember something before you eventually 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:05.379 remember waking up. You don't remember going 00:12:05.379 --> 00:12:09.740 up in the sky and looking down on the farm But 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:12.399 you don't remember those kinds of things. You 00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:16.620 don't remember Seeing a woman who wasn't there 00:12:16.620 --> 00:12:19.399 and you didn't actually say you felt like you 00:12:19.399 --> 00:12:22.340 left your body But the fact that you were going 00:12:22.340 --> 00:12:26.220 up to the sky and looking down Sounds very much 00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:29.919 like an NDE to me if you say that's what it was. 00:12:30.299 --> 00:12:33.960 I'm just fine with that definition Okay, so you 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:36.120 don't need to make excuses or anything else and 00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:39.210 guess what? I don't need to either I feel like 00:12:39.210 --> 00:12:42.049 having you on here because I think it's a very 00:12:42.049 --> 00:12:45.429 interesting, very interesting story. And these 00:12:45.429 --> 00:12:47.769 kinds of things early in life can change the 00:12:47.769 --> 00:12:51.990 trajectory of our entire life. So is there anything 00:12:51.990 --> 00:12:54.669 else that you want to add to that part before 00:12:54.669 --> 00:12:57.769 we move on and talk about things that happened 00:12:57.769 --> 00:13:00.789 after? Well, the other things that I do remember 00:13:00.789 --> 00:13:04.529 before getting to the hospital was being on my 00:13:04.529 --> 00:13:07.679 dad's lap or on his knee. Like I was laying, 00:13:07.779 --> 00:13:11.200 my head was laying. And to get to any hospital 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.179 from our house was probably 45 minutes if he 00:13:15.179 --> 00:13:17.539 was really, really going, really speeding through. 00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:19.419 And there was nobody else that I can remember 00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:23.100 in a car. So I can only imagine how much blood 00:13:23.100 --> 00:13:25.559 came out of a five year old. Also, the Jehovah's 00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:27.480 Witnesses don't believe in blood transfusions, 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:30.519 but I would have to say that I think he kind 00:13:30.519 --> 00:13:33.039 of broke the rule because I can't imagine all 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:36.679 of that happening and it's, you know. everything 00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:39.600 coming out of a five -year -old that way in such 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.480 a long period of time. So I just wanted to add 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:44.399 that little piece too. So I do remember that. 00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:46.600 I remember staring at that steering wheel because 00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:49.679 those big steering wheels back in the 70s, you 00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:52.120 know, in the station wagon. That was the only 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:56.039 thing, the last bit that I remember before getting 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.779 to the hospital. Ah, the big steering wheels 00:13:58.779 --> 00:14:02.720 back in those days. No child seats. Nobody wore 00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:06.080 seat belts. No, they were just lap belts only. 00:14:06.519 --> 00:14:10.000 I know we used to often be standing in the car. 00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:13.820 Yeah, right Yeah back in the 60s. It was normal 00:14:13.820 --> 00:14:17.679 for a two or three year old To stand on the front 00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:20.919 seat and hold the dashboard So Renee, if you 00:14:20.919 --> 00:14:23.279 could tell us just briefly, I don't know if you 00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:25.440 remember anything about the physical recovery 00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:28.220 And if so give us just a little bit of that, 00:14:28.299 --> 00:14:31.940 but then you can go ahead and hop into how things 00:14:31.940 --> 00:14:35.080 changed You had mentioned as we talked before 00:14:35.080 --> 00:14:38.980 some paranormal ability kinds of things. So go 00:14:38.980 --> 00:14:40.759 ahead and hop into that whenever you're comfortable 00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:44.440 Okay, so after so I was in the hospital for a 00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.600 few days. I don't know how many days I do remember 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:50.379 being there and the nurses really hated me because 00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:52.940 I didn't like needles and they wrapped them unattended 00:14:52.940 --> 00:14:56.080 They were in the wall, but I remember being in 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.639 this this huge it looked like a giant crib You 00:14:59.639 --> 00:15:02.100 know to keep the five -year -old inside But I 00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:03.519 was there for a few days and then when I came 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:07.100 home was the first time I saw the floating head 00:15:07.100 --> 00:15:10.759 lady. She was in my room and I wasn't afraid 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:13.379 of her. You know, I didn't know who she was, 00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.860 but I didn't. My mom walked in right when that 00:15:16.860 --> 00:15:19.779 happened and she said, who are you talking to? 00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:22.940 And I said, the lady. And I pointed to the corner 00:15:22.940 --> 00:15:25.519 where I saw her and she said, there's nobody 00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:28.519 there. I'm like, oh, well, maybe I was asleep. 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:31.179 I had to do that a lot. I had to kind of like 00:15:31.690 --> 00:15:34.769 make things up, especially with my dad. He'd 00:15:34.769 --> 00:15:37.850 be reading a book to me, pushing me down on the 00:15:37.850 --> 00:15:39.509 ground for no apparent reason, just kind of like, 00:15:39.669 --> 00:15:42.210 he just, a light switched, kind of flicked. So 00:15:42.210 --> 00:15:45.929 I kind of, you know, try to cover up. And I remember 00:15:45.929 --> 00:15:48.710 one time he did that and I was on the ground 00:15:48.710 --> 00:15:51.230 waiting for it. And I looked up cause it was 00:15:51.230 --> 00:15:53.929 real quiet. And he was just standing there staring 00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:55.750 at me like, what are you doing on the ground? 00:15:56.350 --> 00:15:58.549 Oh, I think I fell asleep. and fall off your 00:15:58.549 --> 00:16:01.250 lap. So I had to do a lot of that with him throughout 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:04.450 my life. Not just me, but my older brother. I 00:16:04.450 --> 00:16:06.710 had two other sisters, but they really didn't 00:16:06.710 --> 00:16:09.230 get messed with. My brother and I were the stronger 00:16:09.230 --> 00:16:13.830 out of the four. So I think that's why, I don't 00:16:13.830 --> 00:16:15.629 know, my grandmother told me, well, the reason 00:16:15.629 --> 00:16:17.070 why it picks on you is because you're strong. 00:16:17.470 --> 00:16:20.330 So it started with her and then it kind of started 00:16:20.330 --> 00:16:23.870 snowballing into other things where I would know 00:16:23.870 --> 00:16:26.169 things before they would happen. You know, I 00:16:26.169 --> 00:16:28.490 was spied, so I couldn't say that those things 00:16:28.490 --> 00:16:32.450 were happening before or after, but I definitely 00:16:32.450 --> 00:16:34.750 remember them after. I don't remember that so 00:16:34.750 --> 00:16:37.870 much before. It got to a point where it started 00:16:37.870 --> 00:16:40.029 kind of freaking them out and I had to really 00:16:40.029 --> 00:16:42.889 be careful about what I was saying in the conversation 00:16:42.889 --> 00:16:45.629 around my parents because I felt like they were 00:16:45.629 --> 00:16:48.129 going to send me somewhere, not, you know, away. 00:16:48.929 --> 00:16:51.840 I would tell them. these experiences and they 00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:54.000 would just hand me the Bible. And it's like, 00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:56.320 where do I turn to figure out how to make these 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:58.600 things go away? You know, like the Bible's not 00:16:58.600 --> 00:17:00.620 going to help me. So I didn't have a great relationship 00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:05.380 with God because my dad used religion as his 00:17:05.380 --> 00:17:08.819 kind of a, when you call it, when somebody is 00:17:08.819 --> 00:17:11.039 going to testify that it's a relocation thing, 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:13.240 there's a war for it. I felt like he was using 00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:16.940 it for that because he was hiding from the mafia. 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:20.180 But was it also kind of an excuse for his behavior? 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:24.240 Well, possibly because he hid a lot of things, 00:17:24.420 --> 00:17:28.160 you know, he physically abused us, you know, 00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:30.380 me and my brother, especially. And we wouldn't 00:17:30.380 --> 00:17:32.440 go to church that day. We could really get to 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:36.000 stay home. Or if people, the elders in the congregation 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:39.220 there would see marks on us and they started 00:17:39.220 --> 00:17:41.740 asking questions, you know, how did this happen 00:17:41.740 --> 00:17:46.240 kind of thing? Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, thank 00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:49.109 you. You mentioned this talking head lady, as 00:17:49.109 --> 00:17:51.630 you called her. I'm not even sure what to ask. 00:17:51.849 --> 00:17:54.529 How often did you see her? I saw her the one 00:17:54.529 --> 00:17:56.589 time when I came back. So I saw her floating 00:17:56.589 --> 00:17:59.289 head. And then when I came back home, I saw her. 00:17:59.289 --> 00:18:01.529 I saw her again. But this time she was in the 00:18:01.529 --> 00:18:03.869 room, not just hovering above me. But she didn't 00:18:03.869 --> 00:18:06.470 really even say anything. So she was just there. 00:18:06.750 --> 00:18:09.869 Fast forwarding these experiences. They would 00:18:09.869 --> 00:18:11.789 come and go. Sometimes they would be strong and 00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:14.329 sometimes they would kind of chill out. But there 00:18:14.329 --> 00:18:17.809 was a guy when I was 16. I was playing out and 00:18:17.809 --> 00:18:20.630 outside, you know, playing street ball with the 00:18:20.630 --> 00:18:23.289 neighborhood kids. And I'm so tired, I had to 00:18:23.289 --> 00:18:25.470 hurry up and get ready for dinner. And I started 00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:27.630 to undress, but the window was open and it was 00:18:27.630 --> 00:18:30.190 getting dark outside. So I panicked like, oh, 00:18:30.230 --> 00:18:32.349 they could see, you know, and I turned around 00:18:32.349 --> 00:18:35.029 to go pull the blind. And there is this floating 00:18:35.029 --> 00:18:39.609 guy out my window. And he came around a lot after 00:18:39.609 --> 00:18:43.670 I saw him. And he was dressed kind of look like 00:18:43.670 --> 00:18:46.009 he was in like one of those pea coats. I know 00:18:46.009 --> 00:18:48.829 he was floating. He was, he was just called what 00:18:48.829 --> 00:18:51.170 it is. He was a ghost. So he was floating outside 00:18:51.170 --> 00:18:54.289 my window from the waist up because if, if not, 00:18:54.369 --> 00:18:56.289 then he would have had to been like 10 foot tall 00:18:56.289 --> 00:18:58.890 to be able to see him from the waist up. And 00:18:58.890 --> 00:19:00.369 I could see what he's dressed. I could see the 00:19:00.369 --> 00:19:02.609 hat that he had on. It was real pale looking, 00:19:02.609 --> 00:19:05.210 you know, but he didn't say anything either. 00:19:05.349 --> 00:19:08.470 He just kind of looked. That's all he did. He 00:19:08.470 --> 00:19:11.650 kind of just looked at me and it scared, it scared 00:19:11.650 --> 00:19:14.950 me. because my parents put a fear labor on it. 00:19:14.950 --> 00:19:17.269 And on top of that, it started calling them demons, 00:19:18.109 --> 00:19:20.170 which really changes the trajectory of things 00:19:20.170 --> 00:19:22.470 like this, because you hear of these things happening 00:19:22.470 --> 00:19:24.890 all the time. Of course, I can't prove any of 00:19:24.890 --> 00:19:27.390 this to you guys. I'm just telling you the story. 00:19:28.109 --> 00:19:30.569 So I had to just deal with it. I had to deal 00:19:30.569 --> 00:19:34.750 with even attacks. I feel like as I got older, 00:19:35.450 --> 00:19:38.490 I got tired of being free. So I started teaming 00:19:38.490 --> 00:19:42.599 up with mediums. and paranormal groups just to 00:19:42.599 --> 00:19:46.019 kind of meet things head on and try to understand 00:19:46.019 --> 00:19:48.980 what I was experiencing, why I was experiencing 00:19:48.980 --> 00:19:51.640 it, you know, and how to deal with it. Besides 00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.119 fear, because that's what my family were fearing 00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:56.140 it. They didn't understand. And I've been asked 00:19:56.140 --> 00:19:58.980 like, well, are you guys seeing dead people in 00:19:58.980 --> 00:20:01.259 your bedroom? You know, like, how come I'm the 00:20:01.259 --> 00:20:04.680 only one seeing them? So this went on my whole 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:07.039 life until I started working with the paranormal 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:09.559 groups. I worked with them for a couple of years, 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:13.480 but it helped me not be afraid. And it helped 00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:18.700 me help other people like me, which became my 00:20:18.700 --> 00:20:21.200 goal. So I didn't do a lot of paranormal work 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:23.079 after that because the paranormal people, they 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.440 just want EDU keys that they can, you know, I 00:20:26.440 --> 00:20:29.799 have a whole load of the EPs. I was on my ghost 00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:32.960 story because they thought my story, I had an 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:37.329 EDU key and evidence of spirit activity. And 00:20:37.329 --> 00:20:39.430 every time I would did the paranormal group thing, 00:20:39.609 --> 00:20:42.150 they always wanted me to go because I always 00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:45.369 got the EVPs. I guess because I can communicate 00:20:45.369 --> 00:20:48.210 or they can mutate with me. You mentioned that 00:20:48.210 --> 00:20:51.109 you had learned a lot about the why. Tell me 00:20:51.109 --> 00:20:54.829 what you've learned. Why is this sort of thing 00:20:54.829 --> 00:20:58.029 happening to you and at such a young age? Well, 00:20:58.269 --> 00:21:02.029 I started going into NDE circles because I was 00:21:02.029 --> 00:21:06.450 very attracted to that. I started learning about 00:21:06.450 --> 00:21:08.910 near -death experiences, but I never really, 00:21:08.910 --> 00:21:11.549 I hadn't really chopped up what happened to me 00:21:11.549 --> 00:21:15.789 until later. That this has got to be part of 00:21:15.789 --> 00:21:19.130 the NDE. And you hear this a lot too. I worked 00:21:19.130 --> 00:21:21.450 really closely with Terry Daniels, the Afterlife 00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:23.750 Awareness Conference. She's a good friend of 00:21:23.750 --> 00:21:26.710 mine. We would talk about this, you know, and 00:21:26.710 --> 00:21:29.410 she would recant some of the things that others 00:21:29.410 --> 00:21:33.950 would be talking about that had NDE's. And going... 00:21:33.690 --> 00:21:36.569 Going across the veil is the only thing that 00:21:36.569 --> 00:21:40.849 really sums it up. We've stepped out of this 00:21:40.849 --> 00:21:43.490 reality and into another one. Some people come 00:21:43.490 --> 00:21:46.829 back with very very vivid stories and accounts 00:21:46.829 --> 00:21:49.490 and others, you know, I think everybody's a little 00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:51.369 bit different and I know their stories are always 00:21:51.369 --> 00:21:55.509 different, but but always miracles to me. I'm 00:21:55.509 --> 00:21:57.630 going to call miracles because these things that 00:21:57.630 --> 00:22:00.670 are happening are not the norm. I experience 00:22:00.670 --> 00:22:03.980 it all the time. I'll tell you about To me, this 00:22:03.980 --> 00:22:06.119 is a miracle. This is the kind of thing that 00:22:06.119 --> 00:22:08.400 happens to me all the time. It blows my mind. 00:22:08.859 --> 00:22:12.400 I wrote my memoir, A Walk Back to God, because 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:15.920 I left God in the dust. I was really, I was an 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.779 atheist. And even during all those times where 00:22:18.779 --> 00:22:21.799 I was doing paranormal work and trying to figure 00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:25.059 myself out, I never went to the dark side. I 00:22:25.059 --> 00:22:28.619 always kept myself right on the line. You know, 00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:34.000 I never stepped over into one or the other. 60 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:37.940 in January turned 60. I wrote 60 ,000 words of 00:22:37.940 --> 00:22:43.039 my memoir in 60 days at the age 60. So really 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:45.720 unusual because I just knocked this stuff out, 00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:48.460 right? And I just once I started I was hard to 00:22:48.460 --> 00:22:51.059 stop. It's all I did every day. I just knocked 00:22:51.059 --> 00:22:54.259 it out. Okay, so I typed the end and this is 00:22:54.259 --> 00:22:57.380 again the title of the book, A Walk Back to God 00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:01.420 because I don't... do scripture. I don't memorize 00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:04.420 scripture. I don't go to church. I have gone 00:23:04.420 --> 00:23:06.599 to church, but I don't don't do the whole church 00:23:06.599 --> 00:23:09.420 thing. So I go outside the day after I finished 00:23:09.420 --> 00:23:12.359 writing, I go outside to leave my place to go 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:15.380 run an errand. And this note falls from the crack 00:23:15.380 --> 00:23:18.700 of my door. It was just a handwritten note. Actually, 00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:20.759 I have it handwritten note. And I opened and 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:23.640 it said John one one. And it was a scripture 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:25.619 because I'm not a scripture. person I saw, I 00:23:25.619 --> 00:23:27.940 thought, yeah, you know, whenever some church 00:23:27.940 --> 00:23:30.579 person put that on everybody's door, right? And 00:23:30.579 --> 00:23:32.779 so I almost threw it away. And but something 00:23:32.779 --> 00:23:34.839 stopped me. I put it in my pocket and ran my 00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:36.839 errand and I came back and I reached into my 00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:38.660 pocket and I was like, oh, that's right. This 00:23:38.660 --> 00:23:42.099 is here. So I opened it up and I read it and 00:23:42.099 --> 00:23:45.380 it said John one one. So I don't know. Are you 00:23:45.380 --> 00:23:48.279 a scripture person? A little bit, but I don't 00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.440 know that I have that one memorized. So tell 00:23:50.440 --> 00:23:55.180 me what it is. So John one one says, In the beginning, 00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:58.940 the word was with God, and the word was God. 00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:03.259 Okay, and I just finished 60 ,000 words about 00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:06.900 a walk back to God. I should have known that 00:24:06.900 --> 00:24:09.519 one, by the way, because now that you say it, 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:12.079 yeah, I know it now. Oh, it gives me chills. 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:14.740 It's like, how? But it's this kind of thing that 00:24:14.740 --> 00:24:17.200 happens a lot. I could tell you a whole lot of 00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:19.859 stories. Where did this, where does this come 00:24:19.859 --> 00:24:22.000 from? And what should I be doing with it? And 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.480 so I'm with the scripture. all the time now. 00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:27.619 I'm reading scripture every day. I'm journaling 00:24:27.619 --> 00:24:30.500 scripture. I'm asking questions about my life 00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:33.339 and then I'm, you know, allowing the book, the 00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:37.359 Bible, to just help me navigate through whatever 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.160 I'm going through. So I've been very, very close 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:44.700 to God and the Bible ever since I wrote that 00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:47.619 story. So I had asked you a while ago about the 00:24:47.619 --> 00:24:52.559 why. And maybe that's part of that why, but also 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:56.619 I'm curious more about why do you think that 00:24:56.619 --> 00:24:59.519 those paranormal things were happening? Did you 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:01.579 have something to gain from it, something to 00:25:01.579 --> 00:25:05.339 learn from it, in other words? I think that the 00:25:05.339 --> 00:25:07.420 paranormal things that were just happening, not 00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:09.579 the things that I was seeking out, right? Is 00:25:09.579 --> 00:25:11.640 that what you're asking? Yes, starting when you 00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:14.380 were five years old after this accident. Well, 00:25:14.380 --> 00:25:16.740 that's a really good question. I haven't really 00:25:16.740 --> 00:25:19.990 sat and... thought about that well when you turn 00:25:19.990 --> 00:25:23.509 61 maybe that'll be the thing to do well i what 00:25:23.509 --> 00:25:27.670 i feel like right now is i obviously have something 00:25:27.670 --> 00:25:30.309 that i'm supposed to be doing here i was saved 00:25:30.309 --> 00:25:33.289 i think i'm gonna call it saved okay bleeding 00:25:33.289 --> 00:25:36.670 out for a 45 minute drive after after being smacked 00:25:36.670 --> 00:25:40.369 in the face and 31 stitches later i can't imagine 00:25:40.369 --> 00:25:43.529 how i didn't die i mean really die you know like 00:25:43.529 --> 00:25:46.269 i don't know how i could have been saved from 00:25:46.269 --> 00:25:49.559 that Doing research about it was like all the 00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:52.039 I went to all the AIs, you know What could this 00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:54.359 you know, could I possibly say been saved from 00:25:54.359 --> 00:25:56.500 this to me? You know, they all kind of said well, 00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.099 it was kind of miracle. So I'll go I'm not going 00:25:59.099 --> 00:26:01.299 off of the eye. I'm just gonna chalk it up this 00:26:01.299 --> 00:26:04.220 I'm supposed to be in there I'm supposed to be 00:26:04.220 --> 00:26:07.420 doing something Maybe I just found out that that's 00:26:07.420 --> 00:26:09.660 what I'm supposed to be doing at 60 because ever 00:26:09.660 --> 00:26:12.519 since I hit 60 Everything's changed. My whole 00:26:12.519 --> 00:26:14.839 demeanor has changed not just about God just 00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:19.119 about life feel like I've got something to do. 00:26:19.140 --> 00:26:21.339 I don't know what that is. I ask them all the 00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:23.079 time, like, okay, what am I supposed to be doing? 00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:25.440 So I'm going to make a recommendation for you 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:28.740 on that one. In my experience, how that works 00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:33.420 is we need to figure it out ourselves and then 00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:37.420 go to him and say, is this the right thing? Or 00:26:37.420 --> 00:26:40.599 is this the wrong thing? I tend to get more answers 00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:44.920 that way than just an open book like Give me 00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:47.059 three paragraphs on what I'm supposed to be doing 00:26:47.059 --> 00:26:50.940 now. Some of us aren't very good at receiving 00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:54.259 that kind of inspiration. Well, you know, I think 00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:57.740 that the story itself, it was hard to tell the 00:26:57.740 --> 00:27:00.440 story because it's not a feel good story and 00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.019 not by a lunch shot. It's a memoir, but I changed 00:27:04.019 --> 00:27:07.180 a few things. I changed the timelines around 00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:09.059 a little bit so it couldn't be like a memoir, 00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:12.759 but 98 % of the things that I wrote about happened 00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:17.200 to me. The story and the things that are shaping 00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:21.940 in my life, if I was to say how close am I got 00:27:21.940 --> 00:27:25.599 to my mission, I'd say I'm pretty close to what 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:28.559 I'm supposed to be doing. It just probably took 00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:31.920 me a really long time to just get here, or 60 00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:34.940 was the magic number. I don't know, but - Story's 00:27:34.940 --> 00:27:38.259 still being written, sounds like. You've looked 00:27:38.259 --> 00:27:41.680 and done a little studying about NDEs with other 00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:45.599 people. Give me an idea of what you take away 00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:49.519 from that. Because if there's not a lot that 00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.039 you were able to get from yours, maybe you can 00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:54.359 pick up some things from other people's NDE's 00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:56.900 that apply to you. What do you think those might 00:27:56.900 --> 00:28:00.599 be? I would say one of the main things is their 00:28:00.599 --> 00:28:04.420 experiences that they have that are, I don't 00:28:04.420 --> 00:28:07.400 know what the word is, but I don't want to say 00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:09.960 irregular, sort of irregular. I don't want to 00:28:09.960 --> 00:28:13.160 say extraordinary, but I think it can fall into 00:28:13.160 --> 00:28:16.859 those areas. People come back with a, from what 00:28:16.859 --> 00:28:20.279 I've seen, I don't know other people's, but it 00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:23.660 seems that they come back with a clary that they 00:28:23.660 --> 00:28:26.140 maybe didn't have before and understanding about 00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:28.559 things and how things work here that they didn't 00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:31.720 have before. Spiritual circles, I thought for 00:28:31.720 --> 00:28:34.619 a long time didn't involve God, but they always 00:28:34.619 --> 00:28:38.940 did. So my takeaway is these people now have, 00:28:39.559 --> 00:28:43.009 they have an extraordinary chapter to their life 00:28:43.009 --> 00:28:46.769 and how they use it is really up to them because 00:28:46.769 --> 00:28:50.450 we're still all free will. I used my time, whatever 00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:52.869 I did with my life, it took me a really long 00:28:52.869 --> 00:28:57.950 time to find spirituality and try to use what 00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:00.990 I had positively. There's a lot of people who 00:29:00.990 --> 00:29:04.230 I think can go into the wrong direction, but 00:29:04.230 --> 00:29:07.089 it seems like a common thread. It seems like 00:29:07.089 --> 00:29:09.210 maybe you can tell me because you talk to a lot 00:29:09.210 --> 00:29:12.799 of people. NDE people don't typically take what 00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:15.460 they have now that they didn't have before and 00:29:15.460 --> 00:29:17.839 go to a dark case with it. It seems like they 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:21.119 always seem to stay in the light. Do you think 00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:23.160 that that is true? Yeah, for the most part, that 00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:26.559 is really true. And I think part of why people 00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:29.259 like to listen to these stories and why I like 00:29:29.259 --> 00:29:33.380 to listen to them is because even if I don't 00:29:33.380 --> 00:29:36.180 have an NDE, I can learn from some of the things 00:29:36.180 --> 00:29:39.420 that you and other people learn from your NDE's. 00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:43.859 I can learn about love. I can learn about what 00:29:43.859 --> 00:29:47.680 people call the love of God. I can gain strength 00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:51.059 in the fact that people who have had NDEs have 00:29:51.059 --> 00:29:55.160 no fear of death anymore. Why is that? Why should 00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:58.299 I fear death? If someone who has died and come 00:29:58.299 --> 00:30:01.440 back has no fear of death, then I don't need 00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:06.440 to have fear of death either. Right. You don't? 00:30:07.319 --> 00:30:10.789 No. I'm ready. I'm ready whenever he's ready 00:30:10.789 --> 00:30:13.890 to call me, you know, call me home, but I have 00:30:13.890 --> 00:30:17.009 no fear of it. I don't go out and do things that 00:30:17.009 --> 00:30:19.829 are reckless, but I don't have, I don't fear. 00:30:20.230 --> 00:30:23.390 Not at all. Not even a little. What do you think 00:30:23.390 --> 00:30:26.549 it's going to be like when it finally is your 00:30:26.549 --> 00:30:29.789 turn in 30 years from now, when it's your turn 00:30:29.789 --> 00:30:33.690 40 years from now? I can't, I have to say that 00:30:33.690 --> 00:30:37.309 I think about this a lot. I think, I think about 00:30:37.309 --> 00:30:40.519 it a lot. I hear Andy's, okay. Howard's, Howard 00:30:40.519 --> 00:30:43.059 Storm. Can you, you know, hardly count that story 00:30:43.059 --> 00:30:46.680 about Howard Storm? He's been on the show. Yeah. 00:30:46.740 --> 00:30:49.259 Oh, he was one of the first NDE's and I was like, 00:30:49.900 --> 00:30:52.500 wow. You know, I really, I really never forgot 00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:55.599 his story. Obviously, you know, we, if everybody 00:30:55.599 --> 00:30:58.099 knows who Howard Storm is, you can kind of, you 00:30:58.099 --> 00:31:00.079 can kind of guess, you know, like, okay, well, 00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:02.339 that's why it happened that way because his life, 00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:05.059 the way his lifestyle is. Every single day I 00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:07.319 have the opportunity to wake up and do something 00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:10.799 and be the best person that I can be. But the 00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:13.480 world around us will always come crashing down 00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:15.940 going, no, you can't, no, you're not good enough. 00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:21.039 So I always think about how great it'll be just 00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:26.980 not happy to contend with the heaviness of the 00:31:26.980 --> 00:31:29.880 reality of being here on this planet. And all 00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:32.819 the and all the negativity that's here that we're 00:31:32.819 --> 00:31:34.960 we're all daily kind of trying to get through 00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.259 each day on our own Just staying positive, you 00:31:38.259 --> 00:31:39.680 know, just staying a positive friend of mine. 00:31:40.039 --> 00:31:42.180 It's not easy So, I don't know if that answers 00:31:42.180 --> 00:31:44.460 your question, but I I look forward to not having 00:31:44.460 --> 00:31:47.640 to do that anymore And of course, you know, honestly 00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:50.599 seeing my family And you're right and it is not 00:31:50.599 --> 00:31:54.220 easy It definitely isn't. We'll put a link in 00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:56.259 the show notes if people want to check out your 00:31:56.259 --> 00:31:58.859 books because you have the memoir that you mentioned 00:31:58.859 --> 00:32:02.839 and also a novel which I think looks really interesting. 00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:07.319 So people can look those up and I'll tell you 00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:11.019 what, you get to have the last word. Leave us 00:32:11.019 --> 00:32:14.440 with some kind of a message of hope in this troubled 00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:17.059 world that's gonna help us not only have hope 00:32:17.059 --> 00:32:20.480 but have a better day today. because they listened 00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:24.839 to Renee. Oh man. That's a lot of pressure. That's 00:32:24.839 --> 00:32:27.420 a ton of pressure. And I didn't warn you about 00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:30.059 that. You didn't. I don't have a canned response 00:32:30.059 --> 00:32:33.059 or nothing. What do I have to tell people today 00:32:33.059 --> 00:32:36.619 to stay positive? I would say that's the, if 00:32:36.619 --> 00:32:40.220 you can manage that on a daily basis, being kind 00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:44.200 and positive is, that's very challenging. It 00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:45.839 doesn't matter how nice you are. It doesn't matter 00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:47.990 what kind of person you are. You say as you get 00:32:47.990 --> 00:32:49.609 behind the wheel of a car, you could be the best 00:32:49.609 --> 00:32:54.049 person leaving the house and you just get in 00:32:54.049 --> 00:32:57.289 the car and it's game over. I'm speaking from 00:32:57.289 --> 00:33:02.410 me specifically because there's a lot of negative 00:33:02.410 --> 00:33:06.150 negativity around us all the time. Hang on to 00:33:06.150 --> 00:33:08.910 something that you can snap back to to bring 00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:12.150 yourself back around and not stay focused in 00:33:12.150 --> 00:33:15.210 the negative. Especially when you feel it coming 00:33:15.210 --> 00:33:19.000 out in yourself. Because we all have a little 00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:21.559 road rage under the surface here someplace when 00:33:21.559 --> 00:33:24.819 we're in the car You said that you recently started 00:33:24.819 --> 00:33:28.259 reading scripture What is standing out to you? 00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:30.640 What kinds of what kinds of things are really 00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:34.319 like Wow? I hope this doesn't I'm gonna say this 00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:36.779 is precursor I hope this isn't received negatively 00:33:36.779 --> 00:33:39.400 because there's a lot of controversy that I've 00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:43.900 read But when I ask God for help we can all say 00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:46.859 prayers and we can say it out loud So what I 00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:48.619 started doing, especially after finding that 00:33:48.619 --> 00:33:50.440 scripture, which I've memorized, like I told 00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:52.500 you before, I never memorized scripture. Well, 00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:54.700 I memorized that one. I'll never forget that 00:33:54.700 --> 00:33:58.059 one. John 1 -1, I'll never forget now. Yeah. 00:33:58.700 --> 00:34:01.619 And so what I started doing right after that 00:34:01.619 --> 00:34:04.940 happened was, so I used to do, like I was telling 00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:07.660 you in paranormal stuff, I used to do throw and 00:34:07.660 --> 00:34:09.880 I used to do divination and stuff like that. 00:34:10.090 --> 00:34:13.750 I never did it for a futuristic result because 00:34:13.750 --> 00:34:16.250 I feel like we're all free will and that's always 00:34:16.250 --> 00:34:18.750 been my basis. It's like, it's more of a guidance 00:34:18.750 --> 00:34:22.110 that I'm looking for and that's it. So I threw 00:34:22.110 --> 00:34:24.590 all of that stuff away. I don't have any of those 00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:26.809 things anymore. I will never buy any of those 00:34:26.809 --> 00:34:31.030 things. So I had a Bible that I bought for myself 00:34:31.030 --> 00:34:33.050 years ago that I just never picked up and it's 00:34:33.050 --> 00:34:35.210 just been sitting on my nightstand and just never 00:34:35.210 --> 00:34:38.070 being touched, just dusty. So I started asking 00:34:38.070 --> 00:34:41.940 questions To God and even asked a question to 00:34:41.940 --> 00:34:44.840 God like is it okay for me to use? This book 00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:48.559 this way to get some some answers about some 00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:51.179 of the directions that I'm I'm in and go and 00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:54.219 I want to I want to navigate Everything has been 00:34:54.219 --> 00:34:57.179 spot -on. I mean it is it's literally kind of 00:34:57.179 --> 00:35:01.519 freaky how exact The scripture I happen just 00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:04.659 open the book and look to the page and look to 00:35:04.659 --> 00:35:08.440 the scripture and it It's explaining my question 00:35:08.590 --> 00:35:12.409 perfectly. So it's been it's helping me get acquainted 00:35:12.409 --> 00:35:14.230 with the stories because when I first started 00:35:14.230 --> 00:35:16.690 reading the Bible I started at Genesis and I'm 00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:19.829 like I'm asleep before I get you know past it. 00:35:20.030 --> 00:35:22.150 The book is I don't think this book is this but 00:35:22.150 --> 00:35:25.730 the Bible is designed to be a read book. There's 00:35:25.730 --> 00:35:30.110 information in the book that we reflect on and 00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:32.869 interpretate right. We are interpreting what 00:35:32.869 --> 00:35:35.829 the scriptures are saying and I think that there's 00:35:35.829 --> 00:35:39.139 a lot more to the Bible Than people think and 00:35:39.139 --> 00:35:43.000 so i've been very excited every night i'm excited 00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:46.320 to go and pick it up And be closer to god and 00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:48.659 it and it has a whole different meaning now for 00:35:48.659 --> 00:35:51.940 me I really appreciate you sharing all this renee 00:35:51.940 --> 00:35:54.360 and we're all on this journey. We're all trying 00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:56.860 to learn from each other Trying to learn from 00:35:56.860 --> 00:35:59.460 scripture trying to learn from other sources 00:35:59.460 --> 00:36:03.940 So, you know What we can be better people now. 00:36:03.940 --> 00:36:07.219 We can be better prepared for the future Absolutely 00:36:07.449 --> 00:36:09.630 That's all we can do. Wake up today, start again, 00:36:09.969 --> 00:36:12.969 right? Thanks again for listening and sharing 00:36:12.969 --> 00:36:15.269 this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow 00:36:15.269 --> 00:36:18.150 or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter 00:36:18.150 --> 00:36:20.989 at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share 00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:23.750 your near -death experience or if you have questions 00:36:23.750 --> 00:36:26.469 or comments about the show, send an email to 00:36:26.469 --> 00:36:29.929 eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish 00:36:29.929 --> 00:36:31.809 you everything good that you're looking for in 00:36:31.809 --> 00:36:33.489 this life and the next.