From the time that they pronounced me that was
a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then
they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I
could see people screaming and crying But I didn't
realize that was actually my physical body because
I was somewhere else The only thing that I could
feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was
greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back
home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.
I'd like to welcome our very special guest today,
Michael Floorman, coming to us from Colorado.
How are you, Michael? Very good. Glad to be here.
Good. I tell you what, I love your shirt. I have
one that's sort of similar to that. I love aloha
shirts. Although today I'm dressed for something
else because Will and I are going to be throwing
three racks of ribs on the smoker here as soon
as we're done with this interview. So. Wow. Is
it a holiday? Is it a reason today? Friday? His
wife's birthday is tomorrow and that's what she
requested for dinner tonight for her birthday
dinner. I'm just going back to work so I don't
have anything that fun. I'm so sorry. Anyway.
We'll be chasing the smoke much of the day today,
but this is not about me and it's not about clothing
It's about you Michael and your near -death experiences
before we jump into them Would you let us get
to know you just a little bit give give us a
one minute on who's Michael? I'm 60 years old
now. I work for a magazine publisher as a graphic
designer I've been kind of sensitive to the other
side In a weird way, I just knew there was something
more than what you know or what you're being
told. And I didn't really think that anybody
else knew it. I was a musician. Well, I guess
you still are, but I played in bands when I was
younger. Yeah, that's about it. I mean, I'm a
graphic designer right now and a magazine publisher,
so. What kind of music are you famous for? It
was all original, pretty much. I wrote most of
them and it was kind of Def Leppard Van Halen
-y, kind of that realm. You know, it was that
level of rock. It wasn't like the metal hard
or it wasn't soft. It was like right in the,
you know, it was in the late 80s, 90s. So, you
know, we matched everybody else. We had the huge
hair and all that stuff. I know the genre before,
quote, New Wave came in and ruined it. And you
were fighting disco and all that kind of crazy
stuff then. Yeah. In my first band, because we
did an album when I was in high school. And my
first band, um, that was, that came out in 83.
And that was, yeah, you were fighting just all
kinds of weird stuff back then. You know, it
was, it was kind of different. And nowadays I
think the era is completely different. It's self
promotion, do your own thing. I mean, you can
own your own studio. The world has changed as
far as that goes. Yeah, it has, but rock and
roll never dies, right? No, it does not. It just
kind of altered and creates new genres. I'm not
quite sure where to start because we chatted
the other day and we talked about that you've
actually died eight times and come back and three
of those are considered NDEs. In other words
you remember some kind of experience being out
of body. You know I often wonder and I'm curious
about your opinion on this before we jump into
your experiences and that is I wonder if everybody
who has a death type experience has some sort
of heavenly experience. The majority just don't
remember it because statistically it's roughly
15 percent of people who have had a cardiac arrest
can remember or have what we call an NDE. So
what do you think about the other experiences
that you don't remember in any part of? That
was a part of my story that I struggled with
because it didn't dawn on me. I didn't really
look into this until It's about two years ago.
I saw my first NDE video and then I just kind
of Got completely addicted on the NDE video.
I'm sorry. See I forgot the question. I'm sorry.
Can you give it one more time? The question is
do you have some kind of opinion on those that
have had a cardiac arrest but don't remember
anything, any kind of heavenly experience? Yeah,
I don't know if there's a reason for that because
I know that I know they told me that I had died
eight times but I only remember three and that's
when I was watching other ND videos And they,
you know, had it all kind of in a sequence and
mine was just bouncing all over the place. It's
like I got out of body came back out of I had
out of body in two different places or three
different places and I couldn't I couldn't put
that together. I mean, I just kept looking at
it and I kept I meditated. I got a hypnotist
to try to take me back and try to remember more.
And that didn't work. I just can't get taken
under. Yeah, that's that's pretty much, you know,
what I did. Well, and one other thing I just
wanted to alert our listeners of, that you let
me know when we were speaking the other day,
so I hope you don't mind me bringing it up. I
don't know. It's obvious sometimes. Michael may
lose his train of thought now and then, and that's
something that is a symptomatic of... It's a
holdover. It's a holdover of what he went through.
So let's just give him some grace. And Michael,
it's not going to bother us. Don't worry about
it. But let's go back about a dozen years and
let's talk about what was going on medically
with you that led to these experiences. That
day was just kind of another typical day. It
was Friday. And I think we were going to go.
My boss is going to take us out to lunch that
day. So, you know, we had to put, you know, long
pants or whatever it was. And so, yeah, I was
headed to work that morning and I kept feeling
like my ears and my jaw were like really It just
felt tight and my jaw was almost locking. And
so I couldn't figure that out. And then I was
driving to work and I started feeling like lightheaded,
like I'm going down. I looked around and decided
I should get off the road before I take somebody
out. And so I pulled over, called 911, which
is so weird for me because I never go to the
doctor, but I called 911. An ambulance was like
a quarter of a mile behind us, or behind me.
I pulled in, got out, they pulled up, got out.
I walked over to the ambulance and they took
me inside and I sat down. They started putting
the stickers on you, you know, checking all your
vitals. I heard the one paramedic say to the
other paramedic that the back flow, I think it
was back flow, is blocked. And right at that
moment, I stopped breathing at that second. I
heard back flows blocked, I stopped breathing,
and then it was just like a blink of an eye.
I was opposite the scene. So I was like I was
probably about four or five feet from me and
I could see they're you know moving a little
quicker because the patient just said I felt
weird just died on them but they were moving
a little quicker. So what I remember at that
point was that everything looked different. For
some reason it didn't seem weird to see myself
at that angle. I don't know why. But I remember
looking at my body and I could see that I was
kind of sitting in the chair and I was like my
head was tilted because they hadn't laid me down.
I was kind of sitting in a chair. My head was
tilted and my eyes were fixed. And so I kind
of I don't know why I took it upon myself to
look into my eyes because my dad had died years
before that and it was at hospice at home and
we were waiting for the hospice people to come
and get him. And I remember seeing him and his
eyes were open after he died. And there was nothing
in, no spark, no life. There's a certain kind
of light that you can just see in an eye. And
there was nothing there. And so I actually got
to get close to myself. and look into my eyes
and yeah, it was just dead. I didn't think that
would affect me as bad as it has. Coming back,
I mean, seeing a person, you know, a body dead
is one thing, but seeing yourself, you know,
when you look in the mirror, I can still remember
what they look like without it. Wow. That is
so freaky. I've never had anyone tell me that,
that they looked in their own eyes. Whoa. What
did that feel like? For some reason, I felt it
was necessary. I just looked. I looked at it
and I don't even know that I knew I was dead
or what was going on. It was just this thing
was happening to me and I was just kind of accepting
it, you know, for what it was. I didn't know.
I had no idea. Is this death? Is this? Is that?
I had no idea what it was, but for some reason
I just played along and yeah, I did take the
time to look into my own eyes and I was probably
about five feet away from it, but I did get within
a foot just to kind of see. And then the next
thing I remember is leaving that scene. And again,
everything is like a blink because I think people
think that there's a black void or there's like
a blackness or you go to blackness, then you
come in. I mean, it's as fast as blink and then
you're out. Not a, you know, a period where you
feel it building up. And so from there, it was
a blink. And I was going through this field and
it was like a stream down the middle of the road
or the field. and there were stones and trees
and I mean it looked just like a valley with
mountains in the end and we started going down
and you could tell I was going like really fast
but there was no wind I was no there was no like
like pushing against you and there was no jarring
of movement it was just amazingly quick that
you could just go down there and I remember stopping
at one point of the stream there was a tree and
a plant like a flower I don't even know if it
might have been a weed but I was standing next
to it And I asked, there was somebody was with
me. I could tell somebody was with me. And I
asked whoever this was, how do I know if I'm
real? And the voice said, if you can touch it.
I remember hearing if you can touch it. And so
I did try to touch it and my hand went right
through it. That was kind of weird. And then
we started moving again, came close to the mountains
and then went straight up. It was just like a
projectory. to go straight up and I didn't I
don't remember there being a tunnel or any of
that kind of stuff but I do remember ending up
in just a total dark place I mean it was just
it was dark I've heard people call it the void
I call it the void because there's nothing else
really to call it it seems scary to you know
be whisked away to a dark area but it was anything
but and I think that to me and I know everybody
else has opinions on what the void is but to
me the void is Kind of an unpacking zone when
you leave this is my own opinion, but when I
think when when you leave your body You're a
little disoriented and I think the void to me
This is my opinion the void seems to be that
unpack area that period because it was in the
void that I could feel a lot of You know the
love I mean the love I'm sure you've heard is
I made the acceptance is wild too. I mean the
feeling of acceptance I don't even know how you
get a feeling of acceptance, but you get it It's
just amazing the feeling that that the other
side has I mean It's nothing that you could ever
replicate and I've had OCD and all kinds of anxiety
disorders and you know, you name it I've had
it and I the voice also said to me within the
void said try to have Try to have OCD try to
have any anxiety none of it and I actually tried
but I couldn't you couldn't do it and When he
said that you, you know try to have anxiety When
I tried, it was at that point I realized how
much we leave in our body. I mean, our body holds
so much weight in, you know, literal terms, but
everything that goes with it, I mean, your anxiety,
everything is packed within your body. You know,
all of the issues that you have, or the I'm a
little this way, I'm a little that way, all is
packed in your body. So when you leave, it's
a weird feeling of just release. And that was
Probably one of the coolest things was that feeling
of not having these issues that I've had for
60 years or 48 at the time. And I've heard the
void called velvety soft, but I didn't get a
feel from it. But I definitely got an expansion.
You can feel when you leave your body, it's like
your body runs a 220 volt or whatever house.
voltages, I'm sure they're gonna nail me that
one. But once you leave your body, you become
a part of the grid. And so when you leave, you
go from, you know, this you're only using so
much part of yourself that when you leave, the
expansion is amazing. I mean, you really feel
like you're a part and you I think you are a
part of everything. I just felt one with everything
that was it was there. I mean, I've never felt
that comfortable at home. And it seems so it's
like I remembered it. in a weird way. It seemed
familiar to me. Even a few of the entities, which
I didn't get names, you couldn't really see them.
Yeah, you could definitely tell who was who and
what was what. The void was definitely one of
the darkest, but that's where you get all the
feelings. To me, that's where I got all the feelings
of that immense love and that stuff that everybody
talks about. Okay, I want to bookmark this spot
right here and before we move on I I want a little
bit more detail on some of the things that happened
earlier on that you Mentioned just so casually
and passed over I I'd love to hear more detail
if you have any About the stream and you mentioned
going up a mountain paint a picture for us Okay,
if I go into detail I had one of these podcasts
we looked up and I had been on there for three
hours. I'm like, okay, that's Oh, we're not going
that long. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, do you want me
to just start it over? I mean, no, no, just fill
in some blanks. You mentioned like your first
stop, you saw a stream and what else did you
see there? Well, at the first stop, yeah, it
was going we were going down. I always say we
because I never feel like I'm alone. I've always
said we for some reason. And that's another issue
with mine. But because I always have this feeling
of somebody around me. always. But yeah, we're
just going down, I was going down this valley
and what was strange about it is that's when
I noticed the difference in how your eyes perceive.
It's completely different. It's hard to describe.
I mean, your eyes are seeing, your human eyes
are very limited. You know, they can only see
this much and they can only see this level of
light and this level of hearing. And I mean,
everything that the body can handle. But when
you leave there, I mean, your eyesight is just
amazing. I mean, the things that you can see,
you can feel the things around you. I remember
being next to that stream after I touched that
that tried to touch that plant or that flower.
You could just see that all of the grass, it
almost like it looked like it was lit within.
And it wasn't, it was still light out, but you
could see, at least in the scene, you could see
that everything kind of had a pulse. You could
almost see the pulse of the things that were
there. I mean, the water looked like water, but
it had a different, it was bluer. I don't know,
it's hard to describe, but it was a lot bluer.
It's just everything, even, I even, there was
a few animals within that scene that I saw that
actually instead of running, you know away or
being scared they kind of tended to it seemed
like they were like they could see me you know
which i thought was just weird i mean because
usually if an animal can see you they take off
but these i it looked like they could see me
but they weren't taking off they were almost
getting closer i've heard that animals can connect
or can see things that humans cancel it could
be what that was but the going up from from that
area and going straight up it was like it was
like i was going toward the mountains then it
just pivoted and I just went straight up and
I could see all I could see was like the blue
sky because I wasn't looking around I didn't
get the tunnel but I saw the blue sky turn dark
and that's when I was in the void and it's just
I mean it is it is a very it's it's the most
calming thing that I've ever witnessed yeah it's
so hard to describe because I've heard other
people try to describe the feeling that you have
over there and it's impossible Like when I wrote
my book, I had to come up with terms that made
sense because, you know, heaven didn't work for
me anymore. I needed something different. So
source is what I call that. The void is what
I call this. But after the void, I remember being
in the void and you could see just on the outskirts,
there was just little hints of light that came
up closer. As they got closer, you could see
like, I wouldn't call it a screen. And it was
weird that I saw like a viewing area. But I didn't
use the viewing area. I mean, I saw the viewing
area. And then the next thing I know is they
were it's heard it called the life lesson. And
so that's when basically go over everything,
you know, the way that you were with people and
the way they reacted to you, you kind of get
to see both sides of that. We usually call that
a life review. Did you feel like you were reviewing
back over things that happened? Yeah, I was reviewing.
It was weird because I was what the review was.
It wasn't that I was watching it. It was more
like I was like an extra on a set because I mean,
the one person's here. One's here. I'm here and
I'm just watching it like I'm the third person
in the room. It wasn't it. It wasn't like a playback.
It was like a real time. I didn't get to see
my side of the lesson review, but I got to see
theirs. I just heard it, but I got to see their
reaction and you get to feel their reaction.
And I didn't have anything that was negative
to me, but I did have it when I was probably
about, how old was I, like nine? I was at school
and I went into the bathroom and somebody had,
some kids had taken this kid's clothes and taken
off with his clothes. So there's this kid screaming,
crying, naked in the bathroom. I went in there
and that was the first thing I saw. It was just,
wow, you know, so I went and got a teacher, brought
them in. But what was significant, and I don't
even know why this came to me on my life lesson,
but it showed me how long it took for him to
just get over that. I got to see the embarrassment
with his family and having to face people in
all the days of school. And I mean, I got to
see how deeply that affected his, you know, I
kind of followed his path a little bit and got
to see what that did to him. And I mean, I've
always been way against bullying, but I mean,
that has killed it. And what's weird is that
when that life lesson happened, I do remember
that vividly. And it was just strange that that
is the one thing that seemed to stuck out the
most was something that I wasn't really even
a part of. Oh, thank goodness. Yeah, I do believe
life lessons, and this is the thing about the
life lessons, and this is what I always think
I want to tell people, because how you treat
people is so important, and their reaction, how
you make people feel is so important. And I think
that a lot of people, you know, really, if they
knew, and it's not what, you wouldn't call it
judgment. I mean, everybody else calls it judgment,
and you're not being judged, you're the judge.
The thing that I think is weird is that I'm watching
that from the purest self of me. I'm not ego.
I'm nothing. I am just energy. So I'm witnessing
that from an energy standpoint. So when you're
hearing life lessons and you say, okay, this
is what was done and this is their reaction.
A lot of people and I've heard people tell me
it's like, well, yeah, when I get there though,
there's a reason I'm not going to flinch because
of that because they were this way to me. And
so I was that way to them. But when you go to
the life review, you're in the purest sense.
You don't have that ego. You don't have that.
You don't have the reason. You just get to witness
the outcome. And so to me, if you were a bad
person on earth and then you died and you had
to witness everything that you did from an egoless
pure standpoint and not knowing, not being able
to feel the feelings and irritation and everything
that made you say what you said. That seeing,
you know, the way that maybe people have pulled
away from you the way you are, it's, it's amazingly
eye opening. I mean, I just, I had always heard
that, you know, you're gonna have your life flash
before your eyes, but I had no idea it would
be like that. What's weird is when it happened,
it didn't even feel like I was learning anything.
It didn't feel like I was meant to learn anything.
I mean, it was just, I think it was just a review
and I was to do with it, whatever I felt. That's
the take I got. So in that void, you mentioned
feeling acceptance and love. Can you explain
that any further? What all you were feeling?
It's, it's kind of like, I remember I have a,
there's this weight thing. I mean, I think of
the body as being so weighed down. So much of
your emotions is weighed within your body that
it's the amount of just freedom that you feel
when you're out of this. That was just the amazing
part. And then just the knowledge. I mean, you
just, everything was coming at me at once. I
mean, I could see the answers to any questions.
And I remember talking telepathically. with who
i was with and it seemed like such a real normal
language i mean because i i remember hearing
things but i was hearing it in my head in a voice
that i had heard before well i didn't have a
head but i mean it was you're hearing it in your
in your conscious as you know as you've heard
other things before and who was with you I don't
know who was with me. I know there was at least
one. Since I've been growing up, I've always
had the feeling that I've had some, like a guardian
angel with me. And I've always felt like I have
people around me, like spirits around me. I think
that it was actually my guardian angel, which
again, I'm still trying to figure out if it's
me or not. It could have been me, the higher
self of me doing it, or I don't really know for
sure. I mean, that's, that's a thing that's always
kind of weird. Yeah. All right. What do you remember
that happened next after the void and the life
lessons? I love that term, by the way, because
we are supposed to learn from that life review.
Okay. What happened next? But I remember next
after the life review, I remember it was weird
because like a floor almost appeared kind of,
it just kind of came into focus and then a wall,
a white wall came. up and over as far as you
could see and there were just books like white
with gold writing and they all kind of looked
the same and I remember a book coming down to
me and just as we were starting to look at it
and I had no idea what this was I mean I'm just
step number whatever's next and as soon as they
opened that book I heard the word clear and boom
I had that defibrillator shock that it was weird
that I heard the word clear and I felt every
volt of that shock. It felt like I was slammed
so hard that if you grab somebody and you slam
them against the metal door, like a warehouse
door, that sound of that's what it just sounded
so abrupt. I mean, that's as far as I got. I
remember seeing the book came down and they opened
it and clear everything clear and then boom.
And it was, it was, it was bad. So you were experiencing.
Things from the other side from being out of
your body and then all of a sudden heard something
from the physical side, correct? Okay, and I
think it's I think it's hilarious that you use
the term slammed because that is the one That
I hear the very most about people coming back
into their bodies It is not a soft gentle kind
of thing. Usually it's a BAM harsh and it happened
to me a couple times that way. What's weird is
that I don't know why I felt the shock. If I'm
truly still out, when they said clear, boom,
I felt that. And through my eight deaths, I never
woke up once. So all of these deaths are intertwined.
So from there, I died, I came back, but I never
woke up. And then the next thing I remember,
boom, once again, I'm out. But this time instead
of looking at myself head -on It was like my
head I was facing the other direction and I was
behind my body and I was above the ambulance
But when you're when you're like that, I mean
your eyesight you can see through metal It doesn't
it's like it's not there So I'm like 20 feet
above the ambulance just watching them work on
me and I've seen that another ambulance drove
up in a fire truck So I was two ambulances a
fire truck and there's like five people inside
The ambulance trying to work on me and there
were a couple standing in the parking lot And
I heard one of the people say this is turning
into a clown car, you know, because of the bumping
into each other. And I was just watching the
rustling and all this stuff. The next thing I
know, I blinked. This time it was weird because
this time I looked down instead of up when I
when I left. So what I saw was the shrinking.
It was like, you know, if you were seeing like
a rocket ship from the rocket's point of view,
how they show those views. But it was like I
could see back and I could see like silver it
looked like silver sparks twirling a little bit
for some reason it almost looked like a Like
I was leaving a wake Going through and so I look
back and I could see the ambulance the state
the country the world and you could see the curve
of the earth that's why I put that curve on the
cover of the book that was the vision that I
remember seeing is that curve of the earth and
That one didn't last very long I basically got
up to the void and got up there and then I heard
clear again and I was slammed back in. At that
time it seemed even more harsh. That one it didn't
feel, I don't know, it didn't feel like I made
it in, if that makes sense. Although still I
am unconscious, so this is all still happening
within one big long dream sequence. But after
I was back in my body that time, and I didn't
really get that far, it seemed like I got out
and kind of went back in. Then the next time
was in the emergency room. I remember just like
raising up. I couldn't even tell where I raised
from, but I raised up and you could see the delivery
room and it was a three corners and a round wall,
which I don't know why that stuck in my head
and that I could see my doctor working on me,
the body. He had a bald head and so I kind of
saw that and I remember pulling out of that scene
and these are just memories and I hope to get
more of this through hypnosis or whatever because
I know there's more to this I just I think I
came back with a little bit of damage because
of the 20 minutes without oxygen they said I
would I just think that with that much trauma
and the damage I've had a hard time piecing everything
together and getting the full story but I do
remember getting out in the hospital I went down
a few halls, and I did see people in my similar
situation, so you could see people like there
were spirits in the hospital, and you would get
their eye contact, but you could tell them from
the regular people through your eyes, they just
looked different. I don't know, that's weird,
but they look different when you are out of your
body, and then they look different when you're
in your body when you see them. In what way?
When you're out of body everything looks weird.
I mean everything is so Clear and so vibrant
and so bright and so it almost seems like it's
for you only you That was kind of the feeling
of some of that. I'm sorry. I got lost again
I had asked you in what way did these spirits
look different when you were in that form? Yeah,
I would say that they looked they looked pulsing
I guess probably yet. They looked more lit and
pulsing when I was in their same situation as
they did when I saw the same thing outside of
death. What happened was I went through the hallways
and I remember seeing a couple different people.
I went into the waiting room where my family
was, my kids and my mom. They were all in there
really upset. And that is really pretty much
the only thing that I can remember so far. From
the actual death part itself. I want to get more
of it because I know there's got to be more they
they estimated me at 20 20 minutes without oxygen
which is Quite a bit, but I think it was if you
look I put it in the book I put kind of a breakdown
of what happened There was a couple times where
I was gone longer and I don't even know if that
matters because when you're on the other side
There's no time. I mean you can tell there's
no time. It's just everything is there I remember
being on the other side at one point And I think
it might have been the second time when I went
up that, you know, being musical in my history
is when I got out of the void and things were
starting to fill in as far as color wise goes.
I remember seeing a D, like a large D, like popped
out and was coming toward me. And it was the
note D because it had the little music thing
on there. I mean, I guess they were trying to
sell me on the note. But when it came closer,
it started to break apart. And then I broke apart.
It was strange because I broke apart, it broke
apart, and I actually got to become the note.
It was like you could feel it, you were a part
of it. And I think that's the thing that is hard
to describe about the other side. It's not you're
not watching it, you're part of it. People will
always say, what was it like? Did it look this
way? You're just, that's the only way to describe
it, really. All right. In a minute, we're going
to be talking about the long emotional, what
would we call it, journey back from this because
it was pretty tough. But physically, what was
it like? What was your diagnosis and what did
it take to get better? Physically, the diagnosis,
I don't remember. And it's weird because everybody
else who has died, I've watched these NDEs, they
all can rattle off what they died. You know,
big long words you've never heard of. I don't
know. It's in the book and I know what happened.
I guess there's a back valve and it's not the
worst of the worst. It's not like what they call
a widow maker and you know, it's another valve
and they said it was kind of through hypertension.
That's why it happened. But when I woke up, I
remember waking up in the ICU and that was a
weird thing because when I woke up, they had
the tube down your throat that they put in, you
know, and that felt like a garden hose. I'm claustrophobic
and that really fed into that claustrophobia
feeling for some reason. And I remember waking
up and I just felt like I couldn't breathe. And
I reached for the hose and a nurse grabbed my
hand and then some other nurse grabbed my other
arm so they tied me down. And so I was tied down.
That's not good for a weirdo like me. So I'm
just kind of freaking out. I can't breathe. My
wife at the time was telling me, just, you know,
calm down. I mean, yeah, calm down. Yeah, calm
down. If you're dying in front of everybody drowning
in an inch of water, it felt like. And what was
weird about the ICU is that it didn't look like
a room. It looked like a cave. it was like the
walls were the walls appeared like like rock
walls and the the lighting was kind of like if
there were like torches in there and i i can
never figure out and it seemed like i was laying
in a bed and people were walking by but i know
that we i only had visitors that came in you
know you're an icu so they don't have that many
people in but they would come in and i remember
seeing people there but always around them was
this scene of This weird cave thing and I've
never been able to figure out nobody's really
had any Opinion about why I mean, I'm not gone
anymore. I'm back Well, I guess you could say
half back, you know, because I think when you're
first back you're not back I mean you're back,
but you're a little in a little out and that
could be a reason for it But I just don't know
what the cave because I mean that's when I was
back in my body My own eyes are open. I'm looking
at things and it still looked that way So that
seemed weird to me and then of course, you know
when that when you're an ICU and you're waking
up you're in you're out people coming by you
don't really You're not paying attention and
then the next thing I knew I woke up in the actual
like recovery room They put me in a different
room, you know I was supposed to be in the hospital
for they said three weeks and I think I was in
there for four days Because I couldn't take it.
I was just like I can't I gotta get out and I
had just gotten a job I'd got laid off two years
prior and it was in that bad economy and I was
having a hard time. Finally, I've been looking
for all this time. Finally found a job. Three
months later, I died. And all I'm thinking of
is I just got this job and I needed to get back.
So I didn't allow myself any recovery time. So
yeah, it was 10 days. I went home. I had two
cracked ribs, I think, and burn marks on my chest.
I mean, like real good burn marks. Some of those,
some were like the perfect square of the paddle.
You know and then I had bit my tongue Every time
they shocked me and I think they if right they
shocked me like 13 times or something So my tongue
was like that thick so I couldn't talk I almost
like a get out was like I You couldn't even understand
it. So if the first couple days I was kind of
like Yeah, you just nobody could hear what I
was saying I was just having to write things
down and it was due to the Chomping on my tongue.
I mean that hurt And the ribs, the ribs were
intense. I mean, I get it. I'm happy that they
did that. But man, they beat me up to get me
back. But I mean, you you felt all of that in
that room. Well, and and when people do CPR with
chest compression, same thing. It can break ribs
and and things that can be rough. All right.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing all of that.
I want to move on to the next thing that we're
going to talk about, because it doesn't get talked
about enough. And that is that for a lot of people
after an experience like this, they come back
and it's very difficult integrating back into
regular life. Being back in your body after having
such an amazing experience. And you have to go
back to reality, basically. What was that like
for you? How hard was that? It's weird because
when they put me in my own room, everybody knew
that I did. They kind of knew my story at the
hospital. they were calling me, you know, miracle,
the miracle. I mean, I don't, I guess it's because
of the, you know, how many, how close I came,
but in the fact that I didn't, I basically came
out unscathed. I mean, I have memory problems.
That's fine. I, my eyesight, as soon as I came
back, my eyesight was screwed. I mean, I had
2020 and when I came back, my, I can't read close
up anymore. And I've heard different versions
of that. Maybe it's the deaf. you know, your
eyes kind of rebooted weird or that the shock,
I guess, can have something, you know, can have
an effect on your eyes being shocked like that.
But the only thing I felt the effect wise from
all of it was those two things. But the first
night that I was in the recovery room in my own
room, my daughter had stayed. She decided she
was going to stay in the room. So she got there
was a cot in the room. So she laid in the cot
for the first night when I was out of ICU. I
just remember laying there watching TV and seeing
a guy come in and he was in a like a hospital
gown walked over and I could tell this is when
I was seeing but remember when I mentioned that
they look different? This person still looked
a little different, but I was looking at him
through my eyes, not the other eye, the lack
of eyes that I was using before. So what I was
noticing in this time was that when he walked
over to me, it was almost like a slow gate, and
he was standing over me like really trying to
get a point across. And I mean, I'm seeing him
just like he's standing there. I mean, it looked
like a guy walked in and was trying to talk to
me. His hair was kind of moved weird. And he
looked like Kenny Loggins, the guy who sang Footloose.
He looked like him, like back the way he used
to look. He kept trying to get my attention.
And I said, I, you know, finally I said, I can't,
I can't understand you. And he kind of just looked
disappointed, walked out. And it was like an
hour later, another woman shows up and she walks
into the room. Same thing, but she had like a
white, it was like one of those white cotton.
You know those dress things that like in the
old country western movies that they wear, you
know, like half pint goes to bed in her little
whatever it is. That's what she looked like she
was she was wearing and she came over to me and
she was like leaning over and she was trying
to say something and she had long black hair
and it was kind of flowy it almost looked a little
underwater and I finally had to tell her I don't
I can't I can't understand you and then she kind
of just looked disappointed and she walked out
and That was when I was starting to think you
know are these like real people? Are they dead
people? It was like two days later, it was a
Sunday and the Broncos were playing. So my family,
the kids and everybody came over and kind of
hung out in the room to watch the game. And as
the game's going, these two kids walked in. One
was like, I'd say about eight, eight and six.
Boy was eight and girl was six, both blonde hair.
Boy had a red robe. Girl had a blue robe. Kind
of weave their way around. The people that were
in the room came right up next to my bed. And
my hand was laying on the bed watching the TV.
And I saw the girl grab my arm and pulled it.
And when she pulled it, my arm went up and went
down. So my daughter was sitting over here. She
goes, what are you doing? And I'm like, who are
these kids? And she goes, what kids? And as soon
as she said what kids, they both turned around
and walked away. What was weird is when they
walked away, they both were looking back at me
the whole way until they disappeared through
the doorway. It was just kind of weird the way
that happened. From that, I thought things were
going to be a little different. you know, because
I could sense, I could always sense people and
sense energies around me and pick up on people's
attitudes. And I was very empathetic as far as
just being able to feel other people's stuff,
pain, anguish, things like that. But after this,
that empathy thing just cranked it up to 10.
I mean, now it's I have a hard time with the
empathy part of it. And it's a part of the integration,
too. I mean, just trying to Integrate all of
these things and have a point and purpose has
been probably the hardest part So the problem
is too much empathy Yeah overload. I mean I've
always had kind of like, you know, I can feel
for somebody or I can like if I'm When I was
when I was growing up before this happened I
I always had anxiety and I would have just had
a nowhere anxiety Like just being in a store
being anywhere anywhere where there were people
sometimes I would just get this I would just
take on. I don't know why it was. I always thought
it was just my own disorder, you know, is that
I have it goes along with all the other things
I have like OCD and I think I have a little bit
of everything. OCD, anxiety, intrusive thoughts,
bipolar. I mean, all these things kind of add
up. And what's funny is, on a side note, I've
been told from a medium girl that I know that
I chose this because they say you can choose
your lives. And apparently I chose to have a
difficult mind. life this time. And so that's
why I have all these little, I don't have anything
that's full blown. It's just little bits of a
bunch of little things. So I know the integration
can be very difficult. And you had mentioned
to me previously how it was, it came with some
depression and some other things. And I want
you to give us an idea before we wrap up. How
much fear of death did this leave you with? And
how did it change your life and your personality,
if at all? Well, there's no fear of death. It's
it's weird is that I fear pain, but I don't fear
death I don't I don't have any any lingering
ideas about You know, I know I know now that
we don't finish I mean we just and I had a I
had a thing with my dad one time in here like
because he's deceased but I connected to him
one time and was kind of doing a channeling just
me just with him on my own and He had referred
to it as sliding out Because you kind of do slide
out of your body and when I slid back in it just
didn't seem like I fit very well it seemed like
I was like I had a bit of an aura around me that
didn't go in and Everything seemed odd like my
legs felt different. My arms felt different to
me. My hands look different I mean everything
was kind of weird in that way and and then another
thing the one of the harder parts of that is
that Now that you know you move on, it takes
away the importance of this life. And I didn't
want to lose the importance of this life, but
I was starting to lose it. I was just thinking,
if I don't get it right this time, I'll get it
right next time. And that's not a good way to
think. One, you're not going to be in this situation
next time. So who knows what you're going to
do. And so the reason that I wrote my book and
called it what it is, is it's my own. think is
that I have to look at that and think I am this
world because my book is called I Am This World.
And it's to remind you that you are this world.
Quit living in the afterlife, quit thinking about
the afterlife, quit knowing so much and get back
on track. Because, you know, I have a lot of
time left being this Michael person. I'm only
60. If I have another fourth quarter of my existence,
I need to be available for that life. And I could
find myself afterwards, some of the depression
was, you're just kind of cashing out. It's fake,
I don't care. And you don't care. And that leads
to depression, darkness. I mean, I went through
a dark time afterward and then came back out
of it. But yeah, there were some dark times after
that. And I think it was due to knowing that
feeling of knowing that knowing that we live
on, knowing that there's more to this, knowing
that this isn't it. That concept was depressive
at first, and now I find it a blessing. But yeah,
I was a depressed. It was probably about six
years of really lowness after this that followed.
So it was nice to come out of it. And I think
now I'm starting to learn how to integrate back
into what I was and figure out what I want to
be. I mean, I've managed to lose like 80 pounds
just by willing it. I was like 240 pounds. And
one day I was just like, I want to get down to
about 160, 170. And then the weight just started
dropping off. I didn't do anything extra. I just
didn't feel that hungry. And then the weight
just dropped off. And now I'm at 165. So, I mean,
for some reason, I have no idea how I did it.
I reached my target weight without trying. If
you could figure out how, that's what you should
put into a book. That's where you'd make the
big bucks. Well, I want to do a book next called
The Theory of Knowing that kind of explains some
theories of that I have that come from the knowing.
You can take what you know about life and then
simple things that I see in life that kind of
coincide with what I know is real. You know,
I mean you see sparkles of things in life and
it's just that that's kind of another aspect
that I'm trying to look at is, you know, trying
to make sense of the knowing of it and how to
use that knowing. Yeah, Michael, I want to thank
you for coming on with me today and and say hi
to your daughter who's originally who reached
out to me about this and said you've got to hear
my dad's story before I let you go. Would you
just leave us with I know you have no fear of
death and you have this great hope in the future
and know that there's an afterlife for someone
who's maybe wondering and doubting. You've got
the last word. Leave them with a message of hope.
I don't know what I mean. There's so many. The
problem with death is that it's marred with all
kinds of thoughts. There's religion. There's
everything that goes with it. There's people
can feel like I have to earn it. Or the main
thing is it is and this is what a lot of people
had a problem with. And I have a problem with
still when I came back is that what is my point?
What is my purpose? I just know that, and I've
even heard people say that when there's a car
accident, that you're pulled out before that.
You're not your body. I mean, that's the one
thing that is hard to describe. It's hard to
get people to understand. You are the energy
that drives the body. You're like the battery
in the toy. When the battery is pulled, the toy
dies. And that's the way I look at it, as I am
a battery of energy that just... does something
else. I mean, when I was pulled from that toy,
I looked in his eyes and saw that there was nothing.
I mean, that toy had no energy at all. That person
had no energy at all. I think people get most
afraid because they think that they are their
body. And you know the body is going to die.
So that is what people fear death for is because
there's a permanence, there's a death there,
but there's not a death there. You still see
everything as it is, but better. You can do anything,
but better. It's It's hard to, I know it's hard
for me sometimes to figure out why we're here.
And that's, I think, some of the main problem.
I don't know how you get somebody to not fear
death if they really do fear it. But I know a
lot of people just think that, oh, what is my
purpose? What is my point? What am I supposed
to be doing in this life? And it's really, it's
the communication between others. Just pay attention
to that. That's the most important thing and
there's really nothing to fear because once once
you leave Actually, I didn't even notice at first
So that's as painful and traumatic as it seemed
is that it was such a peaceful thing That it
just seems so natural and I just went with it
and it was not scary at all Seems like the summary
from what you've just said is your body might
die, but you don't die That's why you don't need
to worry about it No, yeah, you everybody thinks
what happens to me nothing you're fine. Your
body's not Perfect. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate
all of it today Thanks again for listening and
sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the
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to share your near -death experience, or if you
have questions or comments about the show, send
an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until
then, I wish you everything good that you're
looking for in this life and the next.