From the time that they pronounced me that was
a good 45 minutes They cut my clothes and then
they paddled my heart my heart stopped and I
could see people screaming and crying But I didn't
realize that was actually my physical body because
I was somewhere else The only thing that I could
feel if you can imagine Absolute love and peace
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was
greeted by people I'd known in the past I'm back
home again. Incredibly safe and felt at home.
Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody
and our wonderful guest this morning. You are
going to love her, Bridget Cooke Birch. How are
you? I am so grand. Thank you for asking. Delighted
to be here. You got me up early this morning,
but thank you for that too. We got each other
up early this morning. That's awesome. Hey, before
we jump into your story, it's Interesting. Sometimes,
well quite often, one of the things I get asked
is how do you find guests for your show? And
I admit they come from all over the place. A
lot of people reach out to me through our website
and people are sometimes recommended. Every once
in a while I'm online in like a near -death experience
social media group or something and something
will just stand out to me and I'll reach out
to that person. But For you, I was having lunch
with a friend recently. Shout out to Val Hale.
I don't think he'll mind. And he said, if you
haven't interviewed Bridget yet, you have to.
Her story, it'll be like your best interview
ever. So Bridget, you came highly recommended
from a mutual friend. And we both love and respect
Val very much. So we're assuming that this is
going to be as good as he hoped for. But anyway,
hey, Bridget, before we jump into your story,
would you just tell us a little bit about you
so we can get to know you? Sure. I'm used to
talking about everybody else just because I get
to work with amazing storytellers from around
the world. I will tell you, I'm a very proud
and delighted mother of four, three daughters
and one son. and also a Mimi of four. I have
two granddaughters and two grandsons and they
are the highlight of my existence in my life
and I absolutely love it. I also get to work
with stories and my clients call me the book
whisperer. Just I see threads of stories that's
happened ever since my near death and I'm able
to help people to put that into extraordinary,
you know, it's their real stories, but I'm able
to see the rises and falls in a way that other
humans can understand the deep impact that they've
had. And so I'm, I'm a book coach and a publisher
and I just love what I do. I have an incredible
team and we work together and it's always about
something greater than ourselves. Wow. Well,
it's kind of fun talking to somebody else that
has a gaggle of girls and then one boy. Was your
boy the youngest? He was the youngest until my
third daughter came along. So she's my bonus
daughter, but she's the daughter of my heart
too. Okay, I won't tell the others. They're gonna
be jealous. They all hold a special place. It's
amazing. You know how that goes. I know how that
goes. Four daughters, one boy. But he was the
caboose, and so he had five mothers growing up
raising him. I was going to say he had all of
that influence on him, yeah. I just wrote a book
with a gentleman who had, I think, five older
sisters, and he called himself the bendy doll.
He was the bendy doll of his sisters, and when
they all left to get married, he felt very bereft
and abandoned. So interesting. Yeah, you know,
it's funny and maybe I'm just old -fashioned
but the one thing that I put my foot down on
with the girls was you are not dressing him up
in dresses and makeup and curlers and all that
kind of stuff and There you go. I'm sure I'm
gonna get harassed for making a statement like
that. But Hopefully it turned out well for you
will listeners of the show have heard about will
he does our editing And he's a huge part of what
goes on here. So anyway, but enough of all that.
I want to jump right into your story. How many
years ago are we going back to when you had this,
this scare, this wonderful thing? Well, I'm old
now, so we're going back decades. We're going
back to when I was in my early twenties in college.
I was a perfectionist. I wanted to excel at everything.
I wanted to experience all of life. But also,
Eric, I had a deep wound inside. I'd been adopted
when I was six months old. So I'd been through
three sets of parents by six months. And there
was a deep part of me that didn't trust that
the big people would stay. I was fiercely independent.
I wanted, it was one of those oxymoronic things,
like I wanted so much to be wanted. I wanted
so much to be loved and felt I had to prove myself
for that love. But when it would come, sometimes
I would push it away. By this point in life,
everything was crumbling. I'd been working in
Salt Lake and was making decent money as a waitress
and then I moved to Logan to go to Utah State
University and The economy there was very slight
and tips were very poor. And so all of a sudden
my income plummeted. I was doing construction.
I was working at a gas station at night. I was
waitressing and I still, I could not keep up
with my expenses. I had no social life. I was
trying to go to school. I started failing classes,
was failing in my relationships with my parents,
with my friends, with my roommates. I just, I
was not living a great life. The stress started
to eat away inside my body, but I didn't know
what was going on. I just kept pushing and pushing
and pushing and going to work and going to school
and staying up and trying to, you know, manage
a final and failing miserably. And in my world
where I kept trying to prove myself to fail was
the worst thing that could happen. One day I
was just so sick. I didn't know what was going
on. My brain was a little fuzzy and I just wanted
my mom. I took my last five bucks in my pocket
and filled my truck with some gas and headed
down this very steep canyon from Logan to Brigham
City that had no business driving. And all I
could think about on the way down there, Eric,
was just what a miserable failure I was. I still
get a little emotional about it because It was
such a big part of my identity. I pull up in
my mother's driveway and I can barely get out
of my truck and I go to the door of the woman
that I wanted to please the most. She opened
the door and she took one look at me. I was completely
emaciated. I'd lost 30 pounds in three days.
And she said, we're going to the doctor. And
she put me right into her car. and rushed me
off to the doctor's office and luckily was right
next to the hospital because I collapsed in the
doctor's office and they rushed me into emergency
surgery and they had to do exploratory surgery
to figure out what was going on and they pumped
out pints and pints of sepsis from my abdominal
cavity. I was in a lot of trouble. Because I
was so emaciated, they had to give me what's
called a subclavian. So they had to put an IV
in near my heart and pump in all these intravenous
antibiotics. There was about six or seven and
I would remember them bringing them in on a whole
pole and then hooking me up to the wires and
things. But what nobody knew was that I was allergic
to one of them. I never had it before. It was
making it so that it was killing me. So I was
spiking fevers up to 106, 107. They were getting
worried about brain damage. There were all the
things. My mom brought in the priest. I had grown
up Catholic in a Mormon town in Brigham City
and she was very worried about me. She stayed
by my bedside for the longest time and a couple
days went by and I wasn't getting better. I was
only getting worse. And then I had befriended.
Behind the curtain, this faceless woman found
out her name was Linda, but her husband was reading
to her from what was called the big book. I recognized
these words of God. And in my high fevers and
when I wasn't feeling good and I was reaching
towards this, I had been through a 12 -step program.
It was something that had been a light in my
life. It had reintroduced God into my life. So
I'm hearing these words. So we talked a little
bit and then she went in for gallbladder surgery.
And when she came back, you know, I'm still just
in my bed and I'm still just dying and she was
writhing in pain. And her husband and a clergy
member of their church gave her a blessing, this
bishop. gave her a blessing and part of it was
that her body wasn't accepting any pain medication
and she had that old -fashioned gallbladder surgery
and she could feel every cut and every stitch
and I didn't even know that I was empathic but
I felt her pain in my body and I was hurting
for her and felt so bad for her and then I heard
this clergy member he commanded her body to accept
the medication And it was the craziest thing
for me to experience from behind the curtain
because the pain left my body, I heard her sigh,
and then she fell asleep. And I was like, oh,
that's wild, but I didn't know what to do with
it. It didn't have anything to do with my upbringing.
I thought I might want to become a nun at one
point, but to be honest, Eric, I didn't feel
like I was ever worthy enough to be, you know,
considered and then nothing like that. So later
on, it was about two o 'clock in the morning.
And I only know because of Linda, but we were
listening to nurses outside in the corridor.
And the one said to the other, I think we better
call her mom back because she's not going to
make it until morning. And I just laid there
recognizing that I was not going to be around
anymore. And I will tell you that there was this
deep part of me that had recognized that I had
not fulfilled the measure of my creation. There
was something that I came here for, but I didn't
know what that was. I had no idea what that was.
But in that moment, hearing them talk about my
death, I just knew I hadn't done it. So I felt
this deep sadness, and I reached my heart out
to God. You know, like, I don't want to die.
I also felt my mother's intercessory prayers.
She had been praying her heart out for me that
I would survive. It was one of those I like to
call it a Mack truck moment. Never before would
I have let down my guard enough to go against
my own religion, but also my own beliefs about
who God was and what I was worthy of. And I just
said, hey, can anyone have one of those blessings?
And she said, yes. And so she called her husband
right then, and he came down with another gentleman.
It wasn't a bishop, but they gave me a blessing,
and the energy of it, the frequency I can now
say, but at the time I didn't know how to describe
it, was different than when the priest had given
me a blessing, and they were both comforting.
And I just said, thank you. And I fell asleep.
And when I woke up, My entire hospital room was
just filled with light. Like it was this brilliant,
amazing, you know, you've been a producer. So
you know what a bright, bright white light is,
is nothing like that. It permeated everything.
It was so brilliant. It was blinding. And at
the same time, like I could feel the light in
my body and I recognized it immediately. It was
this unconditional love. I was filled with so
much love, so much joy, so much bliss, and there
was a figure right in front of me. There was
another light -filled being over in the corner,
but I hardly even paid attention to him because
this being right here, I knew him. And his eyes,
oh my gosh, his eyes, they were filled so much
compassion. and so much love and he didn't care
what debt I was in. He didn't care how lousy
my grades were. He didn't care about my love
life and everything that I had screwed up. He
didn't care about, you know, the mistakes that
I had made with my parents. He didn't care about
any of those things. He just, he loved me for
me. And I could feel that love permeating everything
in the room. It was like... A scripture came
to me later about how the rocks and the stones
themselves, you know, would sing his praise.
Like my skin was vibrating with his love. My
metal tray table, I'll never forget. Like I could
see it vibrating in his presence. Every atom
was excited to be in his presence. And I knew
why, like I knew him. And I was so grateful.
to be with him. And it was like, it was like
I had been living in a thimble. And all of a
sudden, all the universe was open to me in his
eyes. It was the most extraordinary thing. And
he told me I was being given a second chance
at life. I can't even tell you the joy that I
felt in being able to have a do -over. My round
trip, right, to be able to do this was extraordinary.
And I fell asleep. For the first time, my fever
went down and stayed down. Early in the morning,
they wake you up and they're bringing in more
into intravenous antibiotics. And I looked at
the nurse and I had never been one to go against
authority ever in my life. But I looked at the
nurse and I said, hey, I can have every single
one of these, but I cannot have this one. Cannot
have this one and she says what do you mean?
This is the only thing saving your life We thought
we were gonna lose you last night. You have to
be on these and I've said not this one. It's
killing me so she goes racing off to tell the
doctor that you know, I'm a french fry shy of
a happy meal and I was really blessed because
I had a doctor who'd had other patients with
near -death experiences. I didn't know that's
what it was called, but he said, well, it doesn't
matter. She's on all the rest of these. We'll
take her off this one and see how she does. And
the next day, on my own power, I walked out of
the hospital and I would never forget the love
that I felt. Never forget how I was changed,
how I was reborn, how I was made whole and different.
Definitely not perfect. I have made so many mistakes
in my lifetime. And I will tell you that I had
a recent spiritual experience where he told me
a very uncomfortable truth. He said, ever since
that day in the hospital, you have been lying
to yourself about my love. And I'm like, what
are you talking? No, I haven't. No, I haven't.
He says, yes, you have. He said, I came to you
with this unconditional love. And he said, you
told yourself there must have been something
worth saving. And you have set out to prove that
to yourself ever since. And I didn't realize
that that had become my impetus before I wanted
to be worthy of love. Then I knew that I was
worthy of his love, except I wanted to prove
it. crazy what our human egos will do even in
the presence of something so beautiful. And I
think that's a good lesson in what exactly unconditional
love is. When we use that term and it gets thrown
around like whatever but it really means something.
So what did you learn that unconditional love
really means? I learned I could be sitting on
the couch eating bonbons and watching TV and
he would love me just as much. And in my mind,
I couldn't even put that together. It was like,
well, how could that be? Because that's not fulfilling
the measure of my creation, right? Like that's
just, that would be a waste is what I felt in
my mind. And his love came in again, so strong.
And it was just the truth of it, of the love
around. the choices, how important our choices
are. And I'm the one who wants to fulfill the
measure of my creation, but I am His creation.
And He loves me just as I am, just as I am. Like
I still get so emotional in remembering the love
in His eyes. There was there was no condemnation.
There was no retribution There was none of the
the things that I thought God and Jesus would
talk to me about when I met them again You know,
there was nothing like that. It was all just
this like You know the the delight that you feel
when when you've well, you wouldn't know about
giving birth to a baby But you would know with
your gaggle of daughters and your son. When you
hold that child and you look in their eyes and
they look at you and you have this outpouring
and it doesn't matter what they would ever do.
You would never stop loving them. Those words
are paltry compared to what I felt in his eyes,
in his presence. And so now I just seek to be
that wherever I go as much as I can in my very
human frail Sometimes really stupid form. I just
love to be that love and show that to people
and it's really not even a showing it's a It's
an embodying. It's a Recognizing the gift of
every presence, you know, I remember just within
several months after this I I got married I Got
pregnant and I was told I'd never have children
because of how messed up my entire abdominal
System and cavity, you know, I had issues and
and I had fissures in my colon and it just spread
everywhere that sepsis and I had. Several things
that happened afterwards and topic pregnancy
and and some other things, but here I was I was
pregnant and it was going to be okay. I was going
to be able to give birth. And so I was just overjoyed
that not only was I going to live, but I was
also going to be able to be part of this process
of giving birth to a new creation. And just how
incredible that was. And I gave birth to her.
Her name was Brianna. She now goes by Raven,
but I'm holding this miracle child in my hands,
in my arms. holding her and just recognizing,
you know, what a miracle life is. Before this,
you know, I just, that avid student, I was going
to go to Washington. I wanted to be an envoy
at the Capitol. I was taking Russian, although
I was failing at the time. But there were all
these things that I wanted, you know, to prove
myself. When I held her, it was like, oh, what
can I do in the world that's different? What
can I do in the world and still be with her?
And so one of the things I'd always loved was
writing and books and other things. And I would
take her to the gym with me when I would go to
work out. And she got to be around these other
children, which she delighted in. And I would
work out. At the YWCA, there were these young
kids that were high -risk youth that were brought
in by a place called Community Learning Centers.
And I could see the story that I had told myself
for so long about, you know, the big people would
always leave. I could see those stories in their
eyes. I could see the way that they looked at
the world and it was in a box. And, you know,
talking to them and asking them questions and
being curious about their lives. And, you know,
mom and dad are gang members and grandma, grandpa.
And they were many of these kids so immersed
in gang life that it was like a religion to them.
It was all they knew. Someone recognized my ability
to draw stories from the kids and hired me to
be a consultant to write some of their stories,
especially the ones that were turning the corner,
the ones who decided that they didn't, you know,
maybe out of everyone in their whole family,
that they were going to take a different path.
And Eric, I just fell in love with the human
soul. I got to see how important these choices
are that we make, but especially the stories
that we tell ourselves, they're the most important
stories. We might be bombarded by social media
and parents and other people who tell us stories,
but the most important stories are the ones that
we decide about ourselves. And so I've been able
to watch that unfold and then also see what happens
when we say, I made these mistakes, but I can
write a new chapter. I can do something different.
That's when I began this writing journey. And
I feel like every time I am privileged enough
to sit before someone else and hear their story,
that I get a sense of what God sees. of what
a magnificent creation every single one of us
is, all the opportunities that we have as we're
here on the planet. It's incredible the opportunities
of growth that we have here. I used to think
of this place as a test and it was either pass
or fail and I was failing. And then I began to
see that this is a place of learning. and how
extraordinary that every single morning you and
I woke up early this morning going, oh, rather
go back to bed for a little bit. But also the
opportunity for us to talk today, for us to share
experiences and discussions about our kids and
just the beauty of what is possible in each one
of us. Wow. I'm glad I got up early. The wisdom
is just oozing out of you. I have to admit I
got a little stuck on the TV and bonbons because
to me that's not a bad day. But if you don't
mind, let's go back and talk a little bit more
detail about the near -death experience itself.
I want to see if we can draw just a little bit
more out of it. And what a beautiful experience,
by the way. How it changed your life is amazing.
I wanted to clarify one thing. A lot of people
that I meet with have an experience where they
feel like their spirit of who they are leaves
their body and has some kind of journey either
to a place or maybe up near the ceiling in the
hospital room looking down. Did you have that
experience or were you in your body in your bed
the whole time? I was in my body, but I will
tell you he gave me what I would like to call
a brief glimpse. Now I've read many other people's
experiences and mine was different than that.
I didn't travel anywhere. What I got to see was,
I got to see him looking at me and me looking
at him and I was above. So I got to have this
experience of this witness if that makes sense
of me me staring into his eyes and him looking
at me and When I was there it was like that same
experience of looking in his eyes and I was able
to see universes like complexities of space and
time I felt like I I knew everything I felt like
Like He was giving me the gift of the mind of
God to understand everything. And, you know,
when I woke up the next morning, I was so frustrated
because I didn't have that anymore. But I just
remember, you know, in that moment, me watching
Him watching me and it's so hard to put into
words all the colors, all the cosmos, all the
stars, all the all the life. It was like this
breathing organism was the entire universe. It
was all of creation and it was what I saw in
His eyes when I woke up and He was right there
and I knew Him. You keep saying He and Him. What's
His name? Jesus. Can I call Him my Jesus? Because
the it was so personal it was so different from
Just the knowledge and the understanding that
I had as a child when I longed for him You know
when I? My dad was a deacon in the Catholic Church
and my mom would bring in converts to the church
and they were often busy with people and you
know my little brother and I would play around
the churches and stuff but sometimes I would
just sneak into The church itself and I would
I would kneel you know in a pew but at the foot
of the cross and I would long for him but he
was this thing that was that was not a thing
but he was this this presence this this unknowable
person that I longed for this this son of god
this creator He was unknowable to me as a child,
except when I was outside, except when I was
among the trees and the flowers and the grass,
and I felt close to Him there. And then when
He was across from me, He was all of life. And
I call Him my Jesus because He knew me. He knew
every hair on my head, every sin I'd ever...
Committed but he also knew my every joy and my
every laughter my every book I'd ever read my
the key he looked at me with Just he knew everything
and there was nothing to hide There was nothing
to hide from him. Like I was embarrassed of my
life circumstances For not even a split second
The love was so consuming that all of that didn't
matter and I can tell you that that is the thing
that has stayed with me for so long as all of
that didn't matter. So even when I make mistakes
in life, when my budget is not as strong as I
would like it to be, when maybe I've given away
the farm for too long or whatever it might be,
money for me, physical trappings have little
to do with what I felt in that room for Him and
from Him. I love the moniker of my Jesus. I like
that a lot. You very briefly mentioned another
being in the room. Tell me about that. I will
tell you if Jesus wasn't right there I would
have been so attracted to this being as well
because he was just so bright and So beautiful.
It's so powerful powerful is definitely a word
that I would use Was later when I was doing some
some study and all of a sudden it was like oh
my goodness That was Archangel Michael. It was
like that immediate knowing just like when I
had been in front of Christ and he was looking
at me. It was this immediate knowing that that
was Archangel Michael. And I will tell you that,
gosh, it's hard to put into words. Magnificent
protector comes to mind, which is so interesting
because my Jesus did not need a protector. but
there was still this presence. And I can't tell
you too much more than that because there were
other things that came later that helped me understand
who He was and why He was there. But in the moment,
I didn't know. I was just like, wow, that's cool.
And my Jesus is right here. Yeah, you got the
extra cool. Okay, my Jesus. Tell me about His
eyes. You said you looked into His eyes. Oh my
gosh. There is not a color on earth that can
describe everything that I saw in his eyes. They
were like this beautiful blue with purple and
again I saw universes. I saw all these things
in his eyes and the colors beyond description
just so alive and so full of love. just so much
love and compassion and I wish there were words.
I'm a wordsmith and I am a voracious reader and
I love words and I love descriptions and I love
other things but I am often so at a loss to describe
just how incredible those eyes. I knew him. I
knew him. If you were an artist you could paint
them maybe. Feel like I am an artist with words
and I feel like I still shy from the the gloriousness
there is a She's probably a woman now, but was
a child painter of Jesus she is the closest I
have ever seen to anyone that has been able to
portray his eyes and his light and his compassion.
I was really intrigued with her paintings. When
I first saw them, I was like, wow, someday I
will have one and put it on my wall. This is
just reminding me the fact that you're a wordsmith
and don't have all the words. One of the artists
that I've had on the show tried to paint not
so much him, but the things that he saw in heaven
as he had a visit to. And he said there was a
problem because those colors, they're not in
my palette. I could not mix up the colors that
I saw there. So it's okay that you don't have
all the words because he didn't have all the
colors of the paint either. But I'm going to
make it even harder for you now to try to explain
more with words. Please try to explain the love.
We've talked about the unconditionality. Let's
let's dig deeper than that. I told you about
the vibration because that's one of the ways
that I can describe it. My cells in my body responded
in incredible joy. Like just his very presence
was so amazing. Bliss and and joy and and it
so was really beautiful because there was a I
don't know with the recognition of him, with
the witness of him that I, you know, that was
such a gift, but this, this, there was a back
and forth, you know, um, and my lips didn't move
and his lips didn't move, but we were having
conversation mostly about this, this second chance
and this love. It is, see this word, the words
fail me again. It was active. It was. everything
that He was and is and embodies. It is why it's
the very first thing that would come to my mind
to describe besides light. It's an expansiveness.
It's a... And my words again. Remember when I
said about like living in a thimble and then
all of a sudden... I think the love that I had
experienced and I had incredible adoptive parents
that they were so loving and very open and non
-judgmental in their own ways the best they could
be as humans and all the love that I had ever
experienced in the world which was quite a bit
from many different people but it was like this
thimble compared to his universes his expansiveness
of love it had no bounds it had no darkness in
it it had no judgment it had only truth and light
it was full of joy like he was full of joy looking
at me that's why I was like I hadn't not had
that I had not had Been in the presence of someone
who didn't care about all my foibles and my mistakes
and everything else It was usually like, you
know, get your crap together girl. This wasn't
a get your crap together girl at all this was
a You are mine and you are delightful and I love
you. He was blissful in that recognition of one
of his creations and When I see other creations,
I recognize that like how beautiful This soul,
this child that gets to decide for herself, that
gets to make choices, that gets to make mistakes
and learn and make decisions and choose to love
and choose to err and all of these things. I
still have never experienced anything like it,
but sometimes I witness it in other people's
eyes and I'm always looking, even in the hard
stuff. I've written some really hard books about
former skinheads and the daughter of a serial
killer and the woman who was the 19th wife of
65 women. You know, there's been a lot of darkness
in their lives. I have the opportunity to look
for light in the eyes of Warren Jeffs, to look
for light in the eyes of Keith Underjusper and
the happy face serial killer, to look for the
creation that we all are and that I have come
to realize he loves so much. I think that recognition,
it blew away a lot of my prejudices and I felt
like I grew up prejudiced against prejudiced
people. I felt like I grew up in a very open
family and very open, you know, to people of
all different backgrounds, face, walks of life,
loves, skin colors, religions, etc. He blew away
all of those parameters. And it's still funny
today, Eric, because whenever I hold a judgment,
he'll send me a story. And then I get away from
another human and I get to break down my walls
again. Yeah, that's awesome. A couple more things
before we wrap up here. One, you've had an experience
that most humans haven't. What has that done
for your level of fear in the future? I often
ask people, how much fear of death do you have?
So how about you, Bridget? My fear of death is
only have I fulfilled the measure of my creation
and now... After that recent experience, it's
less about the doing to prove and it's more about
am I Experiencing like what I came here to experience
in this physical body where I have certain limitations
and also have incredible opportunities and choices
I Lost my train of thought and that rarely happens,
but I was I was going into something. So please
and again scale of 1 to 10 How much fear of death
do you have? Oh, so of dying itself, none. Just
living before I die. That motivates me every
day to have new adventures, meet new people,
have experiences, be as much of his love on the
planet as I can be before I go. And then I will
also, I would like to add a caveat because, you
know, especially since COVID, in our everyday
world, there's been a lot of darkness. There's
been a lot of fighting. There's been a lot of
anger and sides and divisions and and other things.
And there have been a lot of people who have
been losing hope. And I've been asked to, you
know, do you see death and destruction and Armageddon
and all these things? And I've heard that there
are others who have have seen that. I don't think
very many. I will tell you this. I came away
from that experience recognizing that God and
my Jesus have ultimate faith in humankind. When
I went back to my studies and I was reading about
the Renaissance, when I read about the aftermath
of wars, when people came together, when I saw
firsthand 9 -11 and I saw the horror, but also
the way that people came together. And it was
almost as if I could hear the collective prayers
of a nation. We have a unique ability to come
back from any level of darkness. God has ultimate
faith in us. And it's just time for us to have
faith in ourselves and to begin to act accordingly
and to certainly begin acting with a lot more
love. Last thing, you had mentioned I'm trying
to remember how you put it now. Something about
if we could see everybody the way Jesus sees
them. And you gave examples of murders and horrible
things like that. How can we? Well, let's do
this. Leave us with some kind of a message of
hope and instruction on how we can all see each
other that way. Would I be allowed to share something
when my dad came back to me from the other side?
Of course. I was in a meditation and all of a
sudden I was gone. And my father came and he's
dressed in a tux and he just has this big grin
on his face. And he was younger than when I had
seen him last. His hair was darker and his mustache
was darker. Big grin on his face. And on his
arm is my grandfather, my grandmother. This is
my mother's mother. It's really fascinating because
there's a story between those two that when my
father married my mother and then they decided
to come to Utah, she was angry with him because
he was taking her and her two grandchildren away
from Michigan to this heathen land of Utah. and
she took down their wedding photo and put my
mother's graduation picture back up on her mantle.
So there was some friction between the two during
their lifetime. But my grandmother came to live
with us for a while before she passed, and I
think they were able to make it up. But here's
my dad showing me. right, showing me. So they're,
they're big band dancing and my grandfather's
off to the side. He's still wearing a tux as
well. And my grandmother was dressed to the nines
and they're dancing. And my father said, the
games we play in life. And then, then he showed
me this, this beautiful prayer that I've been
saying, which was, father, let me see through
your eyes and hear with your ears and feel with
your heart. and when prompted, speak with your
words. Let me have experience of you when I'm
viewing the world and people." And he showed
me this great light that was surrounding me and
it was, it felt like that light in the hospital
room. It was beautiful. It was a living intention.
It was gorgeous and I was very humbled. But then
Eric, there was a black wall and it was shocking.
compared to this light and I was like, what is
that? And he said, look behind it. So I was able
to peer up and behind it and behind that wall
was Keith Hunter Jespersen, the happy face serial
killer in his prison cell. And my father said,
how much light and love do you think he gets
behind those prison walls? And I realized I had
never hated this man. I was a little fascinated
by him. but I had been angry at him for what
he had done to my friend Melissa. I was angry
with him for the way that he would psychologically
twist his daughter's life around. And I had not
forgiven him, nor had I done one thing. I saw
that I had withheld my love in my judgment of
him. And I can't say that I pour out gallons
to him every single day, but I do look at him
as a child of God now. And I wish for him the
best and he is in my prayers. And also when I
walked into the courtroom, I was just about three
feet away at one point from Warren Jeffs when
I went down to Texas into the trials. And this
was a prophet pedophile and he was manipulating
and twisting the minds of his people. And he
was also hurting little girls. But I will tell
you after that experience, I do not agree with
nor like nor love any part of his actions in
what he did. But I did look for light in his
eyes. And I'm not capable of the same kind of
unconditional love that I was shown, but I do
my best. And I think... that if we were all to
do our best, just simply come to the table with
more love and to choose to have that love walk
before us and have the presence of this unconditional
love and beauty and light that we choose to surround
ourselves in and make it a part of our daily
walk, that our lives would be incredibly different
than they are today. Thank you. Thank you so
much, Bridget. Hey, if anybody wants to find
you, should we have them reach out to yourinspiredstory
.com? Yes, that would be great. Or you can find
me on social media. And I love making new friends
and hearing new stories. So thank you. And Eric,
thank you. You're an incredible host. It's an
honor to be on your show. Thanks again for listening
and sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit
the follow or subscribe button and sign up for
our newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you
want to share your near -death experience or
if you have questions or comments about the show,
send an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com.
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're
looking for in this life and the next.