From the time that they pronounced me dead was
a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then
they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and
I could see people screaming and crying but I
didn't realize that was actually my physical
body because I was somewhere else. The only thing
that I could feel if you could imagine absolute
love and peace there wasn't anything else to
be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in
the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe
and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip
Death, everybody. And we have a cool guest today,
Matt Uribe. Matt, did I say that right? You did.
Yes, you did. Uribe. Oh, hallelujah. I've been
worried about that one since we did the pre -interview.
No, it's fine. It's fine. Hey, before we jump
into your NDE, I'm going to give everybody a
little bit of a heads up. You've never heard
one quite like this. And I'm saying that from
my own experience because I've heard hundreds
or thousands of near -death experiences and this
one's a little different than anything I've ever
heard and super interesting. Before we jump into
that, Matt, I want our listeners to get to know
you. Take just a minute or so and tell us who's
Matt. Currently, right now, I'm in a MSW program
at CUSTA at Long Beach going for my master's
in social work. I really believe that the Lord
set that path to get to where I'm at. You know,
I'm excited to continue to help people. I really
believe that the Lord has brought me here to
help people with this NDE. Not only that, but
even the path that I'm leading on right now is
to gain more people, not only to Christ, but
just to move forward with their lives in a positive
way. You're obviously a believer. Have you always
been? Did you grow up that way? All right, now
here we go. So when I was younger, I grew up
in a very authoritative type family, very religious.
I will say this, it was kind of like a cult -like
church. I will not mention the church, but I
was fortunate enough to know Jesus from that
church. However, it was the wrong impression.
It was verbally abusive, physically once. So
it really gave me a bad taste in my mouth of
what Jesus was and who he stood for. So I really
wanted nothing to do with Jesus at that time.
I kind of backslid very early on at 12, you know,
doing some dumb things, stealing, making bad
decisions, kind of going down the wrong path
at an early age. Okay, I think that kind of sets
the stage and you're not an old guy, but we're
gonna go back about 20 years You were pretty
young then give us an idea. What was going on
in your life that led up to your experience Yes,
and this is pretty traumatic. I'll kind of make
this a little shorter. So this all happened while
I was Actually right out of high school. I was
kind of wondering what to do with my life. What
am I going to do with my life? Living with my
parents at about 18 and they finally come to
me at about 23, you know, I'm just kind of taking
college classes here and there and they come
to me and they're like, well, you know, what
do you plan on doing with your life? You can't
just stay here with us and, you know, live rent
free and, you know, not do anything. So at that
time I was thinking, well, the military sounds
like an option. Let me go check out. some recruiters.
As I moved forward, I found one in Lakewood.
First was Marines, and this, mind you, was after
9 -11. So people were joining constantly. So
I was initially going to join the Marines, but
the problem was I wasn't scared of fighting,
but I was more like to help people. So I saw
the Coast Guard. You know, they distinctly stood
out to me because they were like, well, we do
search and rescue. We're on the water. we more
or less save people. So I went into the Coast
Guard. Boot camp was pretty crazy and then I'm
very proud of myself for getting through that
and then being stationed in Oregon. I have a
brother that is two years older and a younger
brother who's six years younger. And me and my
older brother were pretty close in age and then
we grew up together and did a lot of things together
and kind of drifted apart but still kept in contact
at the end very closely. while I was in the Coast
Guard, what we call is a tower watch. Basically,
we go up in a tower and it is an ocean leading
or sorry, and a river leading out to an ocean.
And there's a bar that breaks. So basically,
it's kind of like law enforcement would just
sit out there and make sure no boats crossed
that bar. Anyways, I get a phone call from the
master chief. So I'm like telling me I have to
go back to the station. And mind you, I've been
in trouble before. So I'm like, oh, no. You know,
what did I do now? Thinking like. I won't lie,
you know, I want everything to be honest and
out there. I was using at the time both me and
my older brother, and I would kind of tell him
about my experiences and he would tell me what
his, so we kind of bonded over that, which wasn't,
you know, healthy, but it made us close together
and created a bond. And so I'm thinking I'm in
trouble going back. So I go back and I see one
of my friends. I'm like, hey before I get in
the station. Hey, what's what's going on? You
know, like what what's happening? And he's like
what I think you're in trouble and to me I'm
like, oh great Before I get into the master chief's
office I see my best friend who's supplying me
with some of the stuff I get in there and I'm
thinking to myself. This is it My part is just
out of my chest and then he's like, well, we've
got a phone call from your dad. I'm thinking
like, why is my dad calling the station? And
then everything just went in a blur. He's like,
your brother passed away. And then I just dropped
to my knees and just let out a cry that just
really, really hurt. Was kind of in shock at
the time and then went back home for the funeral.
And the problem was I had to go back to Oregon
to do my time, finish my billet there. Yeah,
away from my family, away from everything. And
so that was pretty devastating for me. However,
my mom wrote a note and, you know, long story
short, I eventually get back to I get my last
year, I get to spend in Long Beach at home in
California with my family, thinking everything's
going to be great, you know, I get to be with
my family, you know, I get to spend time with
them and kind of heal and get over this addiction.
they didn't know and just be close with them,
you know, and we'll all be one big happy family.
That's just not how it worked and then didn't
work out that way. I think this is all God's
plan because everything fit into place when I
tell the NDE and how this became about. Again,
first day in Long Beach, you know, it was going
great. And then what do I do? I find more people
with, you know, drugs. And I'm thinking, oh,
man, this is great because the drug of choice
was methadone. It was something I can't explain.
It just made me not feel you could have your
worst day and it'll make you feel just incredible.
And it was something that I got involved with.
And if it wasn't for me coming back to Long Beach,
I don't think I would have gotten off it. Probably
don't think I'd be alive today. But in Long Beach,
I found even harder drugs to do the job, which
was ecstasy. You know, who knows what's, you
know, laced in that stuff. Yeah, that's pretty
much what's going to lead up to this NDE. Yeah.
So self -medicating to get rid of the pain happens
a lot. Okay. What happened next? Yeah. And I
would try anything and everything. You know,
I was at that point where this, I know this sounds
bad and I nothing back to this a lot. I use my
brother's death a lot as an excuse. You know,
people obviously knew I had a problem and they're
like, dude, we want to help. Or they would say,
I would be drinking and they would say, oh, dude,
he's drinking a lot. And then I would say, well,
I lost my brother, you know, kind of use that
as an excuse. So it was terrible. The great thing
was I had a boss in Long Beach and man, he looked
out for me. I probably wouldn't be here today
without his help getting through that coast guard.
But let me kind of tell you the story of how
the NDE ended up happening now. mind you again
this was 20 years ago but I will trifle in any
gap that you have. Hey before you do let me just
throw out a little sort of disclaimer here just
to warn people we are going to be talking about
a suicide situation so if that's something is
triggering for you you may not want to listen
we won't go into a lot of detail except for the
NDE part but just wanted to get that out there
ahead of time so people have an idea of what's
coming in case they want to be prepared or turn
this off for their children or something like
that. And Matt, I really appreciate you trusting
us. I know this is the first time that you've
shared this publicly in this kind of a forum
and with this many people. So thank you and we're
here to listen. Go ahead. Yeah, no problem. And
the reason why I'm sharing it, you know, I don't
take this lightly. A lot of people will judge
or say, oh, there's no way, there's no way that
happened to you or how could that possibly be?
But mind you, I had a previous NDE that was how
I put it. It opened up my eyes but it didn't
necessarily mean I thought it was real still.
So then I tested the waters again and again and
again because one of the NDE's I took an ecstasy,
laid down and then was gone, I didn't realize.
You don't realize when you're gone, you think
you're going to be okay, but you're not. And
I just felt a little tap on my heart and it started
beating again. And I heard a voice say, go get
water, go get water. And I did. That was a different
night. So this night I had a conversation with
my mom, very emotional about my brother. For
those of you who don't know, ecstasy can be a
pill that will get you blackout depressed. I
mean, black holes in your brain of depression.
And that's exactly what it did to me. Now mind
you, it gave you two hours of basic just bliss,
but then hell comes along with that. And that
is the deep dark compression. So after I had
that emotional talk with my mom brought me to
tears, you know, because it was very, very close
to after his death. She went to bed. This was
probably about midnight. I had a bunch of ecstasy
pills and voices were just overloading me. yes
take that take that it's perfect you know you'll
be fine you know I was so distorted in my mind
that I thought yeah I'm gonna be fine you know
where I was laying there was two twin beds by
my brother's bed where I used to share a room
with my brother when I was there my older brother
there was a mirror and my bed was kind of kind
of close to that mirror and I this is a thinking
I had I I thought that I would be OK, if I just
every couple of minutes, I'd like look to the
mirror and go like this or something. This is
the distorted thinking I had. Finally, at the
point I and I want to say, you know, I don't
want to cuss, but I said, F it, I'm out of here.
I'm done with this world. Grabbed a bunch of
ecstasy pills. I'm thinking seven or eight of
them all different. Mind you, you don't know
what you're getting. If those of you who have
done either be heroin based, speed based, a bunch
of different chemically induced pills took them
again set up and I'm out of here went to go lay
down and then all of a sudden something was in
my body and it kind of touched my eyes touched
my eyes and I was riding passenger in my body
and the first thing that I noticed was I black
out again and then it's all dark it's all just
pitch black and then I hear the most beautiful
prayers. And I'm like, wow, where is that coming
from? Where am I hearing this? And I'm looking
everywhere and it's just pitch black. I remember
my brother singing a song. We used to listen
to a band called Bad Religion, which was more
of a punk kind of finding faith, but like not
in religion. But there was a line in it says,
When the only true Messiah rescues us from ourselves,
there will be no sorrow." And they kept singing
that. And it was my brother. I'm like, wow, I'm
hearing my brother's voice. I must be going nuts.
I'm out of it. And then the brightest light came
down. I mean, brighter than the sun, brighter
than any light you'd ever imagine. And then I
heard this voice talking to me and just comforting
me with this love, this peace, this joy, this
mercy. It wasn't judging me. It was just love
all around my body. And then I black out again.
I come back to my brother's in my body dialing
a phone number and it was to my friend and I
black out again and he's like, don't worry, everything's
going to be all right. And I'm thinking to myself,
I'm losing my mind right now. I don't know what's
going on. I'm not alive. I keep going in and
out of reality and not reality and then I black
out again and then I come to again and you have
to have an open mind. My brother is in my body
opening the door for my friend and he walks in
and my brother is talking to him and my friend
thinks I'm out of my mind and I can't say anything
because I'm not in control of my body. We get
in the kitchen and you know we're just talking
and he's no it's Dave. It's Dave. This is Dave,
not Matt. And again, he's thinking like, you
know, I'm nuts, but I heard the voices of my
brother, his voice. I mean, I can't explain it.
He's like, well, let's go get some sleep. Dave's
like, yeah, let's go upstairs. And this is where
it gets a little hazy. When I go upstairs, we
stop at my parents' room. My parents' room is
kind of on the right. And Dave's like, wait,
I got to go in here. My friend's like, no, man,
you don't want to wake them up. Again, I'm riding
passenger. I'm just hearing everything. I have
no control or anything. I black out again and
then we're on the bed He's on my brother's bed
and I'm on my bed and my brother's just talking
to him just telling him basically the future
and mind you I know this sounds absolutely crazy,
but he was telling him very good things about
me and you know, what's gonna happen to him and
I never have talked to my friend to this day
about this because he was told me that your friend
will find his wife through me but you guys will
have a disagreement and eventually he found his
wife through me a woman who I was dating what
didn't work out I introduced them anyways it
turned out you know they got together and then
they're married but there was a falling out I
won't get into that that just kind of irrelevant
And then this is where the NDE really starts.
He goes to bed and then my brother's like, we
gotta go. And I'm thinking to myself, we gotta
go, where are we going? It was like an elevator
we were in and it immediately shot up. And it
was like, I can't even explain it. You know,
some people see tunnels, some people, you know,
go through a very quick like teleportation. I
don't know, but mine was like an elevator we
were in and it just shot up immediately. He's
like, Well, someone wants to talk to you and
I'm like, okay, this is weird. But while I'm
there mind you the Lord didn't allow me to see
Anything of if it's called heaven or hell. I
mean he didn't allow me to see it I felt everything
and I felt pure joy Pure bliss like everything
was it was home It felt like it was our our natural
home where we belong in the end where our souls
go in the end We get there. My brother told me
before I went to go talk to this being, he's
like, I'll never forget basically what you said
on that paddle out. And sorry, I get a little
emotional. We had a paddle out after his death
and we all dropped laze. I was like, you're my
brother and I love you and I always will. And
he He's like, I'll never forget that. I'll take
that with me. And I'll watch over you. Always.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I get a little emotional
every time. I think about that one because, you
know, my whole life I've been just kind of living
with this guilt of his death thinking like, you
know, the survivors go by, you know, I told him
about this drug and it, you know, killed him.
So something kind of I had to live with thinking
the guilt's all on me here. But anyways, back
to the NDE. Again, he's like, now you got to
talk to some manago and it's Jesus. Now mind
you, it's just brightness of light. Don't remember
features. Again, I don't think the Lord wanted
me to see him because it wasn't my time, but
I do remember him telling me kind of like people
have life reviews. I didn't really remember kind
of what he was saying about my life review, but
Like, do you remember there was this person I
was seeing at the time and, you know, it wasn't
going well and I was upset. He's like, no, that
is not that is not going to be the right person
for you. Now, again, Jesus starts telling me
I'm not going to let you see what you're not
supposed to see because basically it's not your
time. He didn't say that, but he's kind of told
me I'm not going to let you remember what I don't
want you to remember. I'm like, you know, I think
of myself, OK, but he did tell me a few things
about my life at the time. How, no, this is not
the right person. That's not going to happen.
And I remember being upset about it. But Jesus
is totally different. I mean, He wasn't angry,
wasn't judging. He was very merciful. He just
felt very disappointed in me that I would take
my life and basically tell me your life's not
yours to take. I gave you this life. I have a
purpose for you, but when you're so much in darkness
and there's just darkness around you, demonic
things, it really distorts your mind. And, you
know, to this day, I still struggle. But anyways,
moving on to the NDE, he told me basically that
you cannot stay. It's not your time. You have
to go back. And I'm just upset because there,
think of a methadone, like I was saying, that
pure bliss, this was like a million times, billion
times better. What we have awaiting for us is
just, I can't even explain it. There are no words.
It's beyond our human logic or comprehension.
So anyways, he goes, you need to have faith.
And immediately, I go down fast in darkness,
just pure black. And it's the complete opposite
feeling that I had when I was with the Lord.
It was like an absence from the Lord. And it
was, again, beyond human comprehension of fear.
People could say fear, tormenting, terrifying.
All those in one wouldn't even explain it. And
I remember kind of being alone, wondering, where
am I? I just went through this one ordeal of
pure bliss. Now I'm in this ordeal of, I can't
get out of this. I'm trying to get out. I can't
get out of this. And mind you, what I forgot
to say earlier was everything is telepathic.
The Lord knows my thoughts already. He knew what
I was going to say. It was like, you don't talk.
Everything's through your mind. And so while
I'm in that dark place, I remember probably four
or five demons saying the most evil things about
you. I mean, just surrounding you, laughing at
you, saying, we got you now. You're not going
anywhere, man. I remember them just tying me
up. and kind of bounding me. But what I do remember
is my arms were like this. I was holding on to
two, it felt like two hands and I'll come back
to where this kind of makes sense. I didn't see
anything, but felt everything. Some people say
they saw other people there. I didn't see other
people there. I was too busy in my own hell to
even have a comprehension of other people around.
And then all of a sudden they were ripping me
apart and I was feeling everything. I remember
just shaking my head, gnashing my teeth, my jaw,
just trying, you know, screaming, doing everything
to possibly, you know, have them stop. But it
was like a twilight zone. It would happen, I'd
come back to, immediately they'd rip me apart
again. And this just kept going on and on and
on. And then I remembered... I don't know why
I wasn't calling on the Lord or talking to the
Lord at this time, but this felt like he turned
me. It felt like I wasn't going anywhere. There
was no way out of this. And I was stuck there
and they were laughing, having a great time.
You know, I'm calling on the Lord and he's like,
he can't help you. But they were getting madder
every time I would call on the Lord or mention
Jesus' name. They would just get more and more
upset. I distinctly remember that. And then I
remember holding on to felt like two hands and
just kept praying and kept praying and the more
I prayed the more I would get ripped up but they
would just get more and more worked up the demons
at the time and then I remember the last prayer
I said something to the extent of Jesus is Lord
my Savior or something to that extent and then
all of a sudden I hear loud footsteps and I become
extremely more terrified thinking it was Satan
himself coming to grabbing me up but it stopped
and the demons, like four of them stopped, just
enraged, walking away. And I'm like, oh Lord,
thank God, you know, thinking like the ordeal
is over. But one demon stayed back and he whispered
in my ear, you know, I don't want to cuss, but
he told me, I mean, this is how evil they are.
And he said, we almost had you, mother effer.
I'm just like still thinking that Satan's coming
to grab me and I immediately said, praise the
Lord, and then I just get sucked back in my body.
Mind you, this felt like I've been in two places
for like days. It felt like I was there for a
long time. When I woke up, I was entrenched.
I don't know if it was sweat, water, could not
move my jaw because the gnashing of teeth. What
I said was, praise the Lord to my friend. He
was in the other bed and he immediately sucked
me back in my body. my parents immediately coming
in the room yelling at me. I mean, and this is
where it comes back probably with the two hands.
And mind you, I don't talk about this with my
parents. I don't talk about this with my friend.
It's just something that just, I don't know why.
I just feel like it's just something that it
was my own personal near death experience that
my parents suck it up to drugs. But let me tell
you this. They came in the room yelling at me,
this and that, and I immediately went in the
room. And they're like, what, do you want to
lose another brother? If you go, we go. You know,
it's basically saying that we can't handle another
death. I think to this day, I was holding on
to their hands when my brother said stop at their
bedroom. I think somehow maybe my body was in
there. I can't explain it because I was in two
places at once. So it doesn't make sense. During
the NDE too, a lot of things happened. I would
see my parents walking around. It was just all
this at once that just doesn't make sense. It
was kind of very miraculous. But it took me months
to kind of get my head back on. I remember right
after this, I was going to go to like a rehab
center. I couldn't even remember my birthday,
my name. I was completely just went through an
ordeal that not too many people could understand
unless they've obviously been through that ordeal.
But what I want to say is that I remember the
Lord just saying what He wanted from me was just
to love people and treat them with respect and
kindness. He brought me back. It was like He
set my path. That last year in Long Beach, of
course, I was still kind of fighting addictions
at that time with the rehabs and stuff. My path
was like I had people watching over me every
step of the way where I could have been dishonorably
discharged. I mean, my life would have been ruined.
It was like the Lord was watching me every time
throughout each phase of my life. And, you know,
got me through the military with honorable discharge.
Then I went back, worked for Edison for a while.
That, you know, ended up getting laid off after
six years, but then went back for my BSW and
social work, watching out after me there, getting
my degree. having some disabilities, getting
through seizures, end up in my master's program
right now at Cal State Long Beach. He's just
progressed me each and every way, and I am so
generous and thankful for that. But yes, that
near -death experience has really opened up my
eyes, and now I kind of leave it to you. I'm
sure you have questions. Only 5 ,000, that's
all. Matt, that was, wow. I think I forgot to
breathe for about five minutes in there. I know
it's a lot of talking on my part. I know. No,
no, no, no. That was just I was tense and I was
waiting for for everything and just. Yeah. Yeah.
Just forgot to breathe. By the way, the little
noises people might hear in the background are
your dog. Hello, puppy back there. Not a problem
at all. We love dogs. OK. Yeah. He's sorry. He's
he's he has a disability, too. He's deaf. So
he I rescued him. So yeah. Sorry about the noise.
Well, I would do sign language, hello, but he's
not looking at me. I want to get a few things
out of the way. The first one is I want you to
know that I believe you what happened to you.
There are going to be some naysayers out there
that say, oh, he was just on a drug trip and
this wasn't a real thing. What do you have to
say to them? OK, and this is where it comes into
play. You could shrug off one near -death experience.
You can maybe shrug off two. You can't shrug
off four. And the one I had before that was at
a party. And, you know, I can go into details
about that, but this was the biggest one. And
it was like, no, this is all real. There's no
way. Yes, there are people that would be like,
well, and I've gotten that. And that's why I
don't really tell this story, because there are
those people that are out there that say, well,
the drugs did this. I have what I forgot to mention
after that, that near -death experience that
day. I kept seeing orbs throughout the whole
day. They would just come and go, and I'd just
be in tears. It'd bring me right back to that
experience. And that still happens to this day,
where I would catch orbs. Either I'd be watching
something, a near -death experience on TV, and
I'd just see this real quick orb go quick, just
very fast, and I'd be like, whoa. What do you
think that means? You know, I don't know. I can
only hope good things that the Lord's still watching
out, which I do believe always. Maybe God is
still trying to speak to me because I'm still
learning. I still have a long way to go. I know
after a lot of people's near -death experiences
that they completely changed their lives. For
me, it's been a slow progression. Yes, I've changed
a lot of things. Addiction, yes, has been out
of my life. That has changed. But, you know,
the struggles are still very real. I still have
a very hard time going to church because of my
upbringing. I haven't gone back to church because
of that. I try to get in the Word each night,
but it's like I pray each night, and don't get
me wrong. But still, there are struggles that
I have that are mine, and I know each person
has their own. I always find myself progressing
when I'm either in the Word of God or praying
and helping others. Again, yes, I do struggle.
and for those people that say, well, it was drug
induced. They are entitled to that belief, but
one day we will die. And one day I want them
to know that there is this place that is indescribable,
that you don't want to be left behind. I don't
want to be left behind. Every day I pray that
I'm not left behind. And it still worries me
to this day because knowing what that other place
is was consistent torment. It did not stop. it
just kept going and there was no time. So a couple
of things back to the drug thing. I've had a
few people explain it to me as something I experienced
while I was on drugs or just a dream in the middle
of the night. I may remember for a little while
or a day or two but a near -death experience
is very clear for very many years to come. Would
you say you're in that that boat right there?
Oh, absolutely. And mind you, I remember so much
more when I came out of the near -death experience.
I wish I, you know, remember that. And I wrote
a journal. Unfortunately, I don't know why I
got rid of it. I wish I had it because there
were definitely key points I put in there. But
yeah, what was the question? Sorry. Well, we
were talking about whether people can believe
this is a real NDE or it was just drugs. I think
we covered it well. The last question that I
think fills in that gap to prove that this was
real is, Matt, how much fear of death do you
have now? I don't fear it. Let me say this too,
because growing up, I have a very anxious person,
you know, had anxiety, been through a lot of
trauma. Yeah, I was very skeptical of death.
You know, is this Jesus that I've been told for
18 years of my life at the time? Is he real?
And I remember at church as a young kid, this
one song that they sung and I really felt the
Holy Spirit come into me and I was like, whoa!
That was when I was going through very struggling
times. That's kind of when I was like, wow, the
Lord is real, I think. I mean, I believe that
it's real. Moving forward, we all have our fears
of death and sharks and stuff like that. Well,
for me, the ocean, but now I don't because it's
like, I know that it's in the Lord's hands and
it's His timing. When it's my time, and like
you told me when I was with the Lord, you told
me it's not your time. I believe when my time
is up, it's the right time. All right, this may
be a hard one, but I want you to try to explain
something. And this comes from the most unusual
part of your experience compared to so many others
that I've heard. And that is that you had this
beautiful, blissful, loving experience first,
then had a hellish experience. Usually it's the
other way around. Yes, and I've seen a lot of
NDEs like that. But as you put it, and tell me
if I have this wording right, right before this
happened, Jesus said to you, you need to have
faith, right? Yes. Okay, do you think that was
a long -term, Matt needs to have faith, or it
was meant for the experience you were about to
have in this hellish place. Yes, I think I think
so in that hellish place and then long term,
but the hellish place, because he brought me
completely down after that. And I think he needed
to show me that it is very real. Like I said,
I've watched probably hundreds of Indies kind
of just putting these pieces together of what
people have seen, what people have gone through.
And yeah, they always have either this hell experience
first, And then the heaven or just the heaven
experience or just the hell experience. But yeah,
it was so kind of mind -boggling that I haven't
found one that has first I went to this joyful,
you know, just amazing place and then went down
to the darkness. So I really do believe that
the Lord said to have faith because I probably
about what I was going to go through. them there
and with life. But what I wanted to say previously
about your other question about the NDE and white
people, I just remember this because this happens
to me a lot. I still have dreams, too, of demonic
beings and some, you know, when I'm kind of slipping
a little bit, they'll be in my room and it will
be like a dream, like I can't breathe. One of
them was on my chest pushing me down or I couldn't
call on the Lord. So it's very, very real. All
I can do is just pray and tried to tell people
this experience and let them take it for what
it's worth. So most people in a hellish place,
they call upon Jesus and they're immediately
taken out of there. For you, you were also taken
out of there, but instead of going to a heavenly
place, you were back in your body. Yes. Correct?
Okay. Yes, correct. Can you explain that? Yeah,
that's something I think, you know, I could speculate
what the Lord was wanting to do. I wish I was
going to go back with the Lord. I just, you know,
after coming back into my body and being so disoriented,
you know, not knowing why the Lord just put me
right back in my body, you know, obviously it's
a bit upsetting, you know, because I didn't want
to be here. I didn't understand my purpose in
life. I didn't understand where I'm going, why.
what and where, you know, the Lord has for me.
Every time something loving happens in my life,
it's like I feel like, wow, the Lord showed me
that there. But it's like a deja vu thing where
I can't explain it. It's kind of like the Lord
showed me a future there. I can't remember it
until after it happens. It's like, I'm so stupid.
He told me that. For example, I would be interning
with adults with disabilities, you know, with
cerebral palsy. you know, different like schizophrenia,
autism, like helping those people out, you know,
loving those people. You know, that, that was
the Lord showing me, I'm bringing you back for
this. Like, this is what I want you to do with
what I've given you is to help these people.
And, you know, I believe, you know, that's the
reason why I got put back in my body is to keep
moving forward. I believe that the social work
program was for a reason. And I got accepted
twice for that reason, to keep helping and to
move on, to keep moving forward and helping everyone
that I could possibly do. And that'll be so good
for you at the same time as you're helping others.
Right. And I'm not saying like I'm better than
anyone else. That's not what I'm saying at all.
I'm just saying like, I feel like this is my
path and I'm going on. The things that people
see, I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it.
because not only do I want to help others, but
I want the Lord to be proud of me. Sorry, I kind
of break up. I get a little emotional on that.
I'm not looking for praise from people. I want
the Lord to be like, that's why I brought you
back, to love people and to help people and to
continue to grow. I know it's really hard to
get off drugs. On a personal note, how's your
recovery going after all these years? It's a
struggle. You know, fortunately, I've been sober,
yes. And I'm going to be straight honest with
everyone that I take a little Suboxone because
it allows me to function. It allows me to work.
It allows me to go to school. Some people obviously
will say, well, you're still using this now,
but no, I'm using about a crumb if I need it
to move on with my life. And I pray that the
Lord will eventually take that out of my life
and I'll be able to fully be sober up to you
know the VA and everything this is recovery to
them you know going to counseling taking your
medications this and that but I do believe in
time the Lord will take away those medications
and you know my brain will be back to where it's
supposed to be yeah you won't completely need
them the last thing that I wanted you to if you
can to explain more to us is something that earlier
you said you couldn't explain that love you felt
that bliss that wonderful that you said was like
this one drug times a billion. Is there any other
way that you can explain it? I could explain
it like being wrapped around in Jesus's arms
and just your whole body is gone. Your body's
not there. It's your soul. And it's like your
soul is just wrapped around in this warm. blanket
of love. Imagine just floating in that love and
just being there in that love and enjoying that
time. You're not only seeing but feeling that,
wow, everything I was kind of taught is true,
but Jesus, like I said, Jesus is so different
than what people think. A lot of different, you
know, religions think that Jesus is this judgemental
type person but it was just all I got from him
was straight love and mercy and the only thing
he was just sad for was that I attempted to do
this to myself. It was like he gave us life but
I was taking that life that he gave me away and
you know, that just that made him very sad and
I think that was another reason why he wanted
me to see, you know, that there is a very dark
realm that people go to that, you know, I don't
have questions. There's so many questions that
I wanted to ask. Why are people down in that
other realm? But he just left it with my experience.
And, you know, I know a lot of other NDE's, they
were shown why people were down there, maybe
because they rejected Jesus, but... I believe
that Jesus gives us so many chances and He'll
even give us another chance on our deathbed because
I will say this, and this is something that I
haven't said, was that my brother said, see things
come back to me here and there, my brother said
to me, you don't have to worry about me. You've
been looking with all these drugs, all these
different things. I'm okay. I'm with the Lord.
And at the end of my brother's life, he was praying,
trying to move forward. in a good, good way.
Unfortunately, he had a lot of friends, good
friends, great friends. Accidental overdose and
it just, it took a toll on all of us and it will
be his 20 years in July 5th. So, I just can't
believe it's been that long. Time just went by
so quickly. But like I said, he just told me
like, you don't need to search for me anymore
because I am okay. I'm with the Lord. Yeah, that
brought me some some good peace. Like I said,
I still struggle because the enemy is always
going to put thoughts in your head of, well,
you did this, you did that, you did this, instead
of looking at the, you know, the good things.
There's always two battles going on in your body,
especially I'm still struggling spiritually.
So once I get to that spot where I am 100 % for
the Lord, I think that struggle will stop. I'm
not saying I'm not 100 % for the Lord, but I'm
just It's hard when there are all these different
things in this world that you're going through
things. I'm a normal person. I go through things,
ups and downs. I have mental health issues in
the military and trauma. So there are things
that I go through just like a normal person.
Thank you for all that. If there's just one thing
that everybody remembers from this, I know I
just wrote it down in my notes, and that was,
you said it felt like being wrapped in a warm
blanket of love. That is beautiful. Thank you,
Matt, for being with me today. No, I appreciate
you having me on and telling you this story.
Like I said, I've had another near death big
one before this one, and that one, I wasn't dead,
but it was still going through two spiritual
realms. The naysayers could always doubt, but
it's 100 % real. Thanks again for listening and
sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the
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newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want
to share your near -death experience or if you
have questions or comments about the show, send
an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until
then, I wish you everything good that you're
looking for in this life. and the next.