WEBVTT 00:00:03.710 --> 00:00:06.730 From the time that they pronounced me dead was 00:00:06.730 --> 00:00:10.210 a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then 00:00:10.210 --> 00:00:13.449 they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and 00:00:13.449 --> 00:00:16.609 I could see people screaming and crying but I 00:00:16.609 --> 00:00:18.589 didn't realize that was actually my physical 00:00:18.589 --> 00:00:22.010 body because I was somewhere else. The only thing 00:00:22.010 --> 00:00:25.390 that I could feel if you could imagine absolute 00:00:25.390 --> 00:00:28.510 love and peace there wasn't anything else to 00:00:28.510 --> 00:00:31.600 be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in 00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:35.079 the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe 00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:40.399 and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:42.719 Death, everybody. And we have a cool guest today, 00:00:42.939 --> 00:00:46.219 Matt Uribe. Matt, did I say that right? You did. 00:00:46.299 --> 00:00:50.240 Yes, you did. Uribe. Oh, hallelujah. I've been 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:52.740 worried about that one since we did the pre -interview. 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:55.600 No, it's fine. It's fine. Hey, before we jump 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.780 into your NDE, I'm going to give everybody a 00:00:57.780 --> 00:01:00.600 little bit of a heads up. You've never heard 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:03.859 one quite like this. And I'm saying that from 00:01:03.859 --> 00:01:07.120 my own experience because I've heard hundreds 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:11.340 or thousands of near -death experiences and this 00:01:11.340 --> 00:01:13.159 one's a little different than anything I've ever 00:01:13.159 --> 00:01:16.659 heard and super interesting. Before we jump into 00:01:16.659 --> 00:01:19.200 that, Matt, I want our listeners to get to know 00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:21.980 you. Take just a minute or so and tell us who's 00:01:21.980 --> 00:01:25.129 Matt. Currently, right now, I'm in a MSW program 00:01:25.129 --> 00:01:27.530 at CUSTA at Long Beach going for my master's 00:01:27.530 --> 00:01:30.269 in social work. I really believe that the Lord 00:01:30.269 --> 00:01:33.370 set that path to get to where I'm at. You know, 00:01:33.370 --> 00:01:36.489 I'm excited to continue to help people. I really 00:01:36.489 --> 00:01:39.750 believe that the Lord has brought me here to 00:01:39.750 --> 00:01:42.870 help people with this NDE. Not only that, but 00:01:42.870 --> 00:01:45.849 even the path that I'm leading on right now is 00:01:45.849 --> 00:01:48.049 to gain more people, not only to Christ, but 00:01:48.049 --> 00:01:50.629 just to move forward with their lives in a positive 00:01:50.629 --> 00:01:54.090 way. You're obviously a believer. Have you always 00:01:54.090 --> 00:01:56.689 been? Did you grow up that way? All right, now 00:01:56.689 --> 00:01:59.489 here we go. So when I was younger, I grew up 00:01:59.489 --> 00:02:02.689 in a very authoritative type family, very religious. 00:02:03.069 --> 00:02:05.689 I will say this, it was kind of like a cult -like 00:02:05.689 --> 00:02:08.550 church. I will not mention the church, but I 00:02:08.550 --> 00:02:11.710 was fortunate enough to know Jesus from that 00:02:11.710 --> 00:02:14.909 church. However, it was the wrong impression. 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:20.020 It was verbally abusive, physically once. So 00:02:20.020 --> 00:02:22.560 it really gave me a bad taste in my mouth of 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:26.439 what Jesus was and who he stood for. So I really 00:02:26.439 --> 00:02:28.960 wanted nothing to do with Jesus at that time. 00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:32.439 I kind of backslid very early on at 12, you know, 00:02:32.620 --> 00:02:35.379 doing some dumb things, stealing, making bad 00:02:35.379 --> 00:02:37.599 decisions, kind of going down the wrong path 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.900 at an early age. Okay, I think that kind of sets 00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:44.000 the stage and you're not an old guy, but we're 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.639 gonna go back about 20 years You were pretty 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:49.460 young then give us an idea. What was going on 00:02:49.460 --> 00:02:52.620 in your life that led up to your experience Yes, 00:02:52.620 --> 00:02:56.699 and this is pretty traumatic. I'll kind of make 00:02:56.699 --> 00:02:59.360 this a little shorter. So this all happened while 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:03.560 I was Actually right out of high school. I was 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:05.770 kind of wondering what to do with my life. What 00:03:05.770 --> 00:03:07.469 am I going to do with my life? Living with my 00:03:07.469 --> 00:03:10.550 parents at about 18 and they finally come to 00:03:10.550 --> 00:03:12.870 me at about 23, you know, I'm just kind of taking 00:03:12.870 --> 00:03:15.409 college classes here and there and they come 00:03:15.409 --> 00:03:17.509 to me and they're like, well, you know, what 00:03:17.509 --> 00:03:19.509 do you plan on doing with your life? You can't 00:03:19.509 --> 00:03:23.629 just stay here with us and, you know, live rent 00:03:23.629 --> 00:03:26.250 free and, you know, not do anything. So at that 00:03:26.250 --> 00:03:29.210 time I was thinking, well, the military sounds 00:03:29.210 --> 00:03:32.990 like an option. Let me go check out. some recruiters. 00:03:32.990 --> 00:03:35.449 As I moved forward, I found one in Lakewood. 00:03:35.590 --> 00:03:38.550 First was Marines, and this, mind you, was after 00:03:38.550 --> 00:03:42.849 9 -11. So people were joining constantly. So 00:03:42.849 --> 00:03:45.710 I was initially going to join the Marines, but 00:03:45.710 --> 00:03:48.750 the problem was I wasn't scared of fighting, 00:03:48.870 --> 00:03:53.289 but I was more like to help people. So I saw 00:03:53.289 --> 00:03:55.830 the Coast Guard. You know, they distinctly stood 00:03:55.830 --> 00:03:57.710 out to me because they were like, well, we do 00:03:57.710 --> 00:04:00.039 search and rescue. We're on the water. we more 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:02.960 or less save people. So I went into the Coast 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:06.699 Guard. Boot camp was pretty crazy and then I'm 00:04:06.699 --> 00:04:08.960 very proud of myself for getting through that 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:12.439 and then being stationed in Oregon. I have a 00:04:12.439 --> 00:04:14.680 brother that is two years older and a younger 00:04:14.680 --> 00:04:17.959 brother who's six years younger. And me and my 00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:21.060 older brother were pretty close in age and then 00:04:21.060 --> 00:04:22.939 we grew up together and did a lot of things together 00:04:22.939 --> 00:04:26.220 and kind of drifted apart but still kept in contact 00:04:26.220 --> 00:04:29.040 at the end very closely. while I was in the Coast 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:32.319 Guard, what we call is a tower watch. Basically, 00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:35.720 we go up in a tower and it is an ocean leading 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:37.959 or sorry, and a river leading out to an ocean. 00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:39.920 And there's a bar that breaks. So basically, 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:41.279 it's kind of like law enforcement would just 00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:43.160 sit out there and make sure no boats crossed 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:46.920 that bar. Anyways, I get a phone call from the 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.319 master chief. So I'm like telling me I have to 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:51.160 go back to the station. And mind you, I've been 00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:55.000 in trouble before. So I'm like, oh, no. You know, 00:04:55.060 --> 00:04:58.139 what did I do now? Thinking like. I won't lie, 00:04:58.459 --> 00:04:59.879 you know, I want everything to be honest and 00:04:59.879 --> 00:05:03.660 out there. I was using at the time both me and 00:05:03.660 --> 00:05:06.300 my older brother, and I would kind of tell him 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:08.720 about my experiences and he would tell me what 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:12.000 his, so we kind of bonded over that, which wasn't, 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:14.779 you know, healthy, but it made us close together 00:05:14.779 --> 00:05:18.300 and created a bond. And so I'm thinking I'm in 00:05:18.300 --> 00:05:22.259 trouble going back. So I go back and I see one 00:05:22.259 --> 00:05:24.120 of my friends. I'm like, hey before I get in 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:25.860 the station. Hey, what's what's going on? You 00:05:25.860 --> 00:05:28.259 know, like what what's happening? And he's like 00:05:28.259 --> 00:05:30.959 what I think you're in trouble and to me I'm 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:34.759 like, oh great Before I get into the master chief's 00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:36.740 office I see my best friend who's supplying me 00:05:36.740 --> 00:05:40.680 with some of the stuff I get in there and I'm 00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:42.740 thinking to myself. This is it My part is just 00:05:42.740 --> 00:05:45.180 out of my chest and then he's like, well, we've 00:05:45.180 --> 00:05:48.100 got a phone call from your dad. I'm thinking 00:05:48.100 --> 00:05:51.779 like, why is my dad calling the station? And 00:05:51.779 --> 00:05:53.699 then everything just went in a blur. He's like, 00:05:53.699 --> 00:05:56.779 your brother passed away. And then I just dropped 00:05:56.779 --> 00:06:02.160 to my knees and just let out a cry that just 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:05.000 really, really hurt. Was kind of in shock at 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:08.399 the time and then went back home for the funeral. 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:12.720 And the problem was I had to go back to Oregon 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:16.189 to do my time, finish my billet there. Yeah, 00:06:16.329 --> 00:06:18.310 away from my family, away from everything. And 00:06:18.310 --> 00:06:21.610 so that was pretty devastating for me. However, 00:06:21.930 --> 00:06:24.829 my mom wrote a note and, you know, long story 00:06:24.829 --> 00:06:28.930 short, I eventually get back to I get my last 00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:32.189 year, I get to spend in Long Beach at home in 00:06:32.189 --> 00:06:35.069 California with my family, thinking everything's 00:06:35.069 --> 00:06:37.110 going to be great, you know, I get to be with 00:06:37.110 --> 00:06:39.350 my family, you know, I get to spend time with 00:06:39.350 --> 00:06:42.850 them and kind of heal and get over this addiction. 00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:46.120 they didn't know and just be close with them, 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.319 you know, and we'll all be one big happy family. 00:06:48.420 --> 00:06:50.959 That's just not how it worked and then didn't 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:53.459 work out that way. I think this is all God's 00:06:53.459 --> 00:06:55.959 plan because everything fit into place when I 00:06:55.959 --> 00:06:59.660 tell the NDE and how this became about. Again, 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:02.060 first day in Long Beach, you know, it was going 00:07:02.060 --> 00:07:05.480 great. And then what do I do? I find more people 00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:08.980 with, you know, drugs. And I'm thinking, oh, 00:07:09.019 --> 00:07:11.100 man, this is great because the drug of choice 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:14.480 was methadone. It was something I can't explain. 00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:17.360 It just made me not feel you could have your 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:20.740 worst day and it'll make you feel just incredible. 00:07:21.019 --> 00:07:23.639 And it was something that I got involved with. 00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:27.079 And if it wasn't for me coming back to Long Beach, 00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:29.439 I don't think I would have gotten off it. Probably 00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:33.079 don't think I'd be alive today. But in Long Beach, 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:36.379 I found even harder drugs to do the job, which 00:07:36.379 --> 00:07:39.180 was ecstasy. You know, who knows what's, you 00:07:39.180 --> 00:07:42.199 know, laced in that stuff. Yeah, that's pretty 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:46.519 much what's going to lead up to this NDE. Yeah. 00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:49.680 So self -medicating to get rid of the pain happens 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:52.740 a lot. Okay. What happened next? Yeah. And I 00:07:52.740 --> 00:07:54.920 would try anything and everything. You know, 00:07:54.980 --> 00:07:57.800 I was at that point where this, I know this sounds 00:07:57.800 --> 00:08:02.379 bad and I nothing back to this a lot. I use my 00:08:02.379 --> 00:08:04.939 brother's death a lot as an excuse. You know, 00:08:05.079 --> 00:08:07.939 people obviously knew I had a problem and they're 00:08:07.939 --> 00:08:10.040 like, dude, we want to help. Or they would say, 00:08:10.120 --> 00:08:12.279 I would be drinking and they would say, oh, dude, 00:08:12.279 --> 00:08:13.720 he's drinking a lot. And then I would say, well, 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:15.420 I lost my brother, you know, kind of use that 00:08:15.420 --> 00:08:18.939 as an excuse. So it was terrible. The great thing 00:08:18.939 --> 00:08:23.180 was I had a boss in Long Beach and man, he looked 00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:25.420 out for me. I probably wouldn't be here today 00:08:25.420 --> 00:08:28.639 without his help getting through that coast guard. 00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:32.360 But let me kind of tell you the story of how 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:36.490 the NDE ended up happening now. mind you again 00:08:36.490 --> 00:08:39.870 this was 20 years ago but I will trifle in any 00:08:39.870 --> 00:08:42.909 gap that you have. Hey before you do let me just 00:08:42.909 --> 00:08:46.090 throw out a little sort of disclaimer here just 00:08:46.090 --> 00:08:48.570 to warn people we are going to be talking about 00:08:48.570 --> 00:08:52.070 a suicide situation so if that's something is 00:08:52.070 --> 00:08:54.309 triggering for you you may not want to listen 00:08:54.309 --> 00:08:58.490 we won't go into a lot of detail except for the 00:08:58.490 --> 00:09:01.289 NDE part but just wanted to get that out there 00:09:01.289 --> 00:09:04.480 ahead of time so people have an idea of what's 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:07.340 coming in case they want to be prepared or turn 00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:10.200 this off for their children or something like 00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:13.980 that. And Matt, I really appreciate you trusting 00:09:13.980 --> 00:09:16.139 us. I know this is the first time that you've 00:09:16.139 --> 00:09:18.379 shared this publicly in this kind of a forum 00:09:18.379 --> 00:09:22.580 and with this many people. So thank you and we're 00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:25.019 here to listen. Go ahead. Yeah, no problem. And 00:09:25.019 --> 00:09:27.860 the reason why I'm sharing it, you know, I don't 00:09:27.860 --> 00:09:30.830 take this lightly. A lot of people will judge 00:09:30.830 --> 00:09:33.309 or say, oh, there's no way, there's no way that 00:09:33.309 --> 00:09:35.990 happened to you or how could that possibly be? 00:09:36.649 --> 00:09:40.990 But mind you, I had a previous NDE that was how 00:09:40.990 --> 00:09:44.429 I put it. It opened up my eyes but it didn't 00:09:44.429 --> 00:09:47.210 necessarily mean I thought it was real still. 00:09:47.470 --> 00:09:51.250 So then I tested the waters again and again and 00:09:51.250 --> 00:09:54.990 again because one of the NDE's I took an ecstasy, 00:09:55.230 --> 00:09:59.250 laid down and then was gone, I didn't realize. 00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:00.929 You don't realize when you're gone, you think 00:10:00.929 --> 00:10:03.370 you're going to be okay, but you're not. And 00:10:03.370 --> 00:10:06.750 I just felt a little tap on my heart and it started 00:10:06.750 --> 00:10:08.830 beating again. And I heard a voice say, go get 00:10:08.830 --> 00:10:11.730 water, go get water. And I did. That was a different 00:10:11.730 --> 00:10:14.350 night. So this night I had a conversation with 00:10:14.350 --> 00:10:17.029 my mom, very emotional about my brother. For 00:10:17.029 --> 00:10:19.610 those of you who don't know, ecstasy can be a 00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:23.809 pill that will get you blackout depressed. I 00:10:23.809 --> 00:10:26.730 mean, black holes in your brain of depression. 00:10:27.070 --> 00:10:29.909 And that's exactly what it did to me. Now mind 00:10:29.909 --> 00:10:33.690 you, it gave you two hours of basic just bliss, 00:10:34.169 --> 00:10:37.470 but then hell comes along with that. And that 00:10:37.470 --> 00:10:40.269 is the deep dark compression. So after I had 00:10:40.269 --> 00:10:43.389 that emotional talk with my mom brought me to 00:10:43.389 --> 00:10:45.889 tears, you know, because it was very, very close 00:10:45.889 --> 00:10:48.610 to after his death. She went to bed. This was 00:10:48.610 --> 00:10:51.429 probably about midnight. I had a bunch of ecstasy 00:10:51.429 --> 00:10:54.850 pills and voices were just overloading me. yes 00:10:54.850 --> 00:10:56.929 take that take that it's perfect you know you'll 00:10:56.929 --> 00:10:59.889 be fine you know I was so distorted in my mind 00:10:59.889 --> 00:11:02.470 that I thought yeah I'm gonna be fine you know 00:11:02.470 --> 00:11:05.990 where I was laying there was two twin beds by 00:11:05.990 --> 00:11:09.070 my brother's bed where I used to share a room 00:11:09.070 --> 00:11:10.789 with my brother when I was there my older brother 00:11:10.789 --> 00:11:14.129 there was a mirror and my bed was kind of kind 00:11:14.129 --> 00:11:16.570 of close to that mirror and I this is a thinking 00:11:16.570 --> 00:11:20.330 I had I I thought that I would be OK, if I just 00:11:20.330 --> 00:11:22.690 every couple of minutes, I'd like look to the 00:11:22.690 --> 00:11:24.330 mirror and go like this or something. This is 00:11:24.330 --> 00:11:26.830 the distorted thinking I had. Finally, at the 00:11:26.830 --> 00:11:30.669 point I and I want to say, you know, I don't 00:11:30.669 --> 00:11:33.750 want to cuss, but I said, F it, I'm out of here. 00:11:34.009 --> 00:11:36.690 I'm done with this world. Grabbed a bunch of 00:11:36.690 --> 00:11:38.830 ecstasy pills. I'm thinking seven or eight of 00:11:38.830 --> 00:11:40.470 them all different. Mind you, you don't know 00:11:40.470 --> 00:11:42.889 what you're getting. If those of you who have 00:11:42.889 --> 00:11:45.990 done either be heroin based, speed based, a bunch 00:11:45.990 --> 00:11:50.090 of different chemically induced pills took them 00:11:50.090 --> 00:11:52.649 again set up and I'm out of here went to go lay 00:11:52.649 --> 00:11:57.269 down and then all of a sudden something was in 00:11:57.269 --> 00:12:00.250 my body and it kind of touched my eyes touched 00:12:00.250 --> 00:12:03.409 my eyes and I was riding passenger in my body 00:12:03.409 --> 00:12:07.710 and the first thing that I noticed was I black 00:12:07.710 --> 00:12:12.629 out again and then it's all dark it's all just 00:12:12.629 --> 00:12:17.389 pitch black and then I hear the most beautiful 00:12:17.389 --> 00:12:21.570 prayers. And I'm like, wow, where is that coming 00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:24.889 from? Where am I hearing this? And I'm looking 00:12:24.889 --> 00:12:27.669 everywhere and it's just pitch black. I remember 00:12:27.669 --> 00:12:31.649 my brother singing a song. We used to listen 00:12:31.649 --> 00:12:35.049 to a band called Bad Religion, which was more 00:12:35.049 --> 00:12:39.070 of a punk kind of finding faith, but like not 00:12:39.070 --> 00:12:41.909 in religion. But there was a line in it says, 00:12:42.269 --> 00:12:46.429 When the only true Messiah rescues us from ourselves, 00:12:46.830 --> 00:12:50.169 there will be no sorrow." And they kept singing 00:12:50.169 --> 00:12:53.990 that. And it was my brother. I'm like, wow, I'm 00:12:53.990 --> 00:12:55.970 hearing my brother's voice. I must be going nuts. 00:12:56.029 --> 00:12:59.710 I'm out of it. And then the brightest light came 00:12:59.710 --> 00:13:02.529 down. I mean, brighter than the sun, brighter 00:13:02.529 --> 00:13:05.649 than any light you'd ever imagine. And then I 00:13:05.649 --> 00:13:09.850 heard this voice talking to me and just comforting 00:13:09.850 --> 00:13:13.639 me with this love, this peace, this joy, this 00:13:13.639 --> 00:13:18.039 mercy. It wasn't judging me. It was just love 00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:21.720 all around my body. And then I black out again. 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:26.559 I come back to my brother's in my body dialing 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:30.480 a phone number and it was to my friend and I 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:33.320 black out again and he's like, don't worry, everything's 00:13:33.320 --> 00:13:35.779 going to be all right. And I'm thinking to myself, 00:13:35.779 --> 00:13:38.419 I'm losing my mind right now. I don't know what's 00:13:38.419 --> 00:13:41.070 going on. I'm not alive. I keep going in and 00:13:41.070 --> 00:13:44.889 out of reality and not reality and then I black 00:13:44.889 --> 00:13:48.409 out again and then I come to again and you have 00:13:48.409 --> 00:13:50.730 to have an open mind. My brother is in my body 00:13:50.730 --> 00:13:54.929 opening the door for my friend and he walks in 00:13:54.929 --> 00:13:58.110 and my brother is talking to him and my friend 00:13:58.110 --> 00:14:01.629 thinks I'm out of my mind and I can't say anything 00:14:01.629 --> 00:14:04.250 because I'm not in control of my body. We get 00:14:04.250 --> 00:14:06.429 in the kitchen and you know we're just talking 00:14:06.429 --> 00:14:10.809 and he's no it's Dave. It's Dave. This is Dave, 00:14:10.950 --> 00:14:14.190 not Matt. And again, he's thinking like, you 00:14:14.190 --> 00:14:17.190 know, I'm nuts, but I heard the voices of my 00:14:17.190 --> 00:14:20.370 brother, his voice. I mean, I can't explain it. 00:14:20.649 --> 00:14:23.250 He's like, well, let's go get some sleep. Dave's 00:14:23.250 --> 00:14:25.370 like, yeah, let's go upstairs. And this is where 00:14:25.370 --> 00:14:29.690 it gets a little hazy. When I go upstairs, we 00:14:29.690 --> 00:14:32.090 stop at my parents' room. My parents' room is 00:14:32.090 --> 00:14:34.570 kind of on the right. And Dave's like, wait, 00:14:34.750 --> 00:14:37.009 I got to go in here. My friend's like, no, man, 00:14:37.009 --> 00:14:39.509 you don't want to wake them up. Again, I'm riding 00:14:39.509 --> 00:14:41.490 passenger. I'm just hearing everything. I have 00:14:41.490 --> 00:14:44.649 no control or anything. I black out again and 00:14:44.649 --> 00:14:48.149 then we're on the bed He's on my brother's bed 00:14:48.149 --> 00:14:51.450 and I'm on my bed and my brother's just talking 00:14:51.450 --> 00:14:54.830 to him just telling him basically the future 00:14:54.830 --> 00:14:58.769 and mind you I know this sounds absolutely crazy, 00:14:58.769 --> 00:15:01.929 but he was telling him very good things about 00:15:01.929 --> 00:15:05.529 me and you know, what's gonna happen to him and 00:15:05.659 --> 00:15:07.480 I never have talked to my friend to this day 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:10.559 about this because he was told me that your friend 00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:14.100 will find his wife through me but you guys will 00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:18.840 have a disagreement and eventually he found his 00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.200 wife through me a woman who I was dating what 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.299 didn't work out I introduced them anyways it 00:15:24.299 --> 00:15:26.700 turned out you know they got together and then 00:15:26.700 --> 00:15:29.039 they're married but there was a falling out I 00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:30.980 won't get into that that just kind of irrelevant 00:15:31.289 --> 00:15:34.529 And then this is where the NDE really starts. 00:15:34.789 --> 00:15:36.970 He goes to bed and then my brother's like, we 00:15:36.970 --> 00:15:40.629 gotta go. And I'm thinking to myself, we gotta 00:15:40.629 --> 00:15:43.629 go, where are we going? It was like an elevator 00:15:43.629 --> 00:15:47.129 we were in and it immediately shot up. And it 00:15:47.129 --> 00:15:49.389 was like, I can't even explain it. You know, 00:15:49.490 --> 00:15:51.509 some people see tunnels, some people, you know, 00:15:51.610 --> 00:15:54.470 go through a very quick like teleportation. I 00:15:54.470 --> 00:15:56.610 don't know, but mine was like an elevator we 00:15:56.610 --> 00:15:59.409 were in and it just shot up immediately. He's 00:15:59.409 --> 00:16:03.179 like, Well, someone wants to talk to you and 00:16:03.179 --> 00:16:06.500 I'm like, okay, this is weird. But while I'm 00:16:06.500 --> 00:16:10.659 there mind you the Lord didn't allow me to see 00:16:10.659 --> 00:16:14.039 Anything of if it's called heaven or hell. I 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:17.200 mean he didn't allow me to see it I felt everything 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:21.519 and I felt pure joy Pure bliss like everything 00:16:21.519 --> 00:16:25.179 was it was home It felt like it was our our natural 00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:28.360 home where we belong in the end where our souls 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:32.320 go in the end We get there. My brother told me 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:35.879 before I went to go talk to this being, he's 00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:39.039 like, I'll never forget basically what you said 00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:42.600 on that paddle out. And sorry, I get a little 00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:46.519 emotional. We had a paddle out after his death 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:51.700 and we all dropped laze. I was like, you're my 00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:56.519 brother and I love you and I always will. And 00:16:56.519 --> 00:16:59.269 he He's like, I'll never forget that. I'll take 00:16:59.269 --> 00:17:02.950 that with me. And I'll watch over you. Always. 00:17:03.769 --> 00:17:05.170 Sorry, sorry, sorry. I get a little emotional 00:17:05.170 --> 00:17:08.809 every time. I think about that one because, you 00:17:08.809 --> 00:17:12.329 know, my whole life I've been just kind of living 00:17:12.329 --> 00:17:15.329 with this guilt of his death thinking like, you 00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:18.470 know, the survivors go by, you know, I told him 00:17:18.470 --> 00:17:21.250 about this drug and it, you know, killed him. 00:17:21.529 --> 00:17:23.470 So something kind of I had to live with thinking 00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:26.940 the guilt's all on me here. But anyways, back 00:17:26.940 --> 00:17:31.000 to the NDE. Again, he's like, now you got to 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:34.079 talk to some manago and it's Jesus. Now mind 00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:37.660 you, it's just brightness of light. Don't remember 00:17:37.660 --> 00:17:40.500 features. Again, I don't think the Lord wanted 00:17:40.500 --> 00:17:44.720 me to see him because it wasn't my time, but 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.720 I do remember him telling me kind of like people 00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:51.200 have life reviews. I didn't really remember kind 00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:53.700 of what he was saying about my life review, but 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:56.339 Like, do you remember there was this person I 00:17:56.339 --> 00:17:59.039 was seeing at the time and, you know, it wasn't 00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:01.259 going well and I was upset. He's like, no, that 00:18:01.259 --> 00:18:03.460 is not that is not going to be the right person 00:18:03.460 --> 00:18:06.740 for you. Now, again, Jesus starts telling me 00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:08.900 I'm not going to let you see what you're not 00:18:08.900 --> 00:18:11.220 supposed to see because basically it's not your 00:18:11.220 --> 00:18:13.660 time. He didn't say that, but he's kind of told 00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:15.619 me I'm not going to let you remember what I don't 00:18:15.619 --> 00:18:17.900 want you to remember. I'm like, you know, I think 00:18:17.900 --> 00:18:21.660 of myself, OK, but he did tell me a few things 00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:25.880 about my life at the time. How, no, this is not 00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:28.200 the right person. That's not going to happen. 00:18:28.259 --> 00:18:30.779 And I remember being upset about it. But Jesus 00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:33.700 is totally different. I mean, He wasn't angry, 00:18:33.940 --> 00:18:37.140 wasn't judging. He was very merciful. He just 00:18:37.140 --> 00:18:41.900 felt very disappointed in me that I would take 00:18:41.900 --> 00:18:44.680 my life and basically tell me your life's not 00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:47.819 yours to take. I gave you this life. I have a 00:18:47.819 --> 00:18:52.059 purpose for you, but when you're so much in darkness 00:18:52.059 --> 00:18:54.960 and there's just darkness around you, demonic 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:58.259 things, it really distorts your mind. And, you 00:18:58.259 --> 00:19:00.019 know, to this day, I still struggle. But anyways, 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:04.839 moving on to the NDE, he told me basically that 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:08.059 you cannot stay. It's not your time. You have 00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:12.220 to go back. And I'm just upset because there, 00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:14.460 think of a methadone, like I was saying, that 00:19:14.460 --> 00:19:17.720 pure bliss, this was like a million times, billion 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:20.809 times better. What we have awaiting for us is 00:19:20.809 --> 00:19:23.950 just, I can't even explain it. There are no words. 00:19:24.369 --> 00:19:27.230 It's beyond our human logic or comprehension. 00:19:27.509 --> 00:19:30.970 So anyways, he goes, you need to have faith. 00:19:31.490 --> 00:19:38.049 And immediately, I go down fast in darkness, 00:19:38.390 --> 00:19:43.029 just pure black. And it's the complete opposite 00:19:43.029 --> 00:19:46.130 feeling that I had when I was with the Lord. 00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:49.630 It was like an absence from the Lord. And it 00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:53.910 was, again, beyond human comprehension of fear. 00:19:54.369 --> 00:19:56.930 People could say fear, tormenting, terrifying. 00:19:57.569 --> 00:20:00.130 All those in one wouldn't even explain it. And 00:20:00.130 --> 00:20:03.490 I remember kind of being alone, wondering, where 00:20:03.490 --> 00:20:06.849 am I? I just went through this one ordeal of 00:20:06.849 --> 00:20:10.089 pure bliss. Now I'm in this ordeal of, I can't 00:20:10.089 --> 00:20:12.450 get out of this. I'm trying to get out. I can't 00:20:12.450 --> 00:20:14.769 get out of this. And mind you, what I forgot 00:20:14.769 --> 00:20:17.349 to say earlier was everything is telepathic. 00:20:17.529 --> 00:20:20.329 The Lord knows my thoughts already. He knew what 00:20:20.329 --> 00:20:22.910 I was going to say. It was like, you don't talk. 00:20:23.230 --> 00:20:25.430 Everything's through your mind. And so while 00:20:25.430 --> 00:20:28.470 I'm in that dark place, I remember probably four 00:20:28.470 --> 00:20:33.089 or five demons saying the most evil things about 00:20:33.089 --> 00:20:36.130 you. I mean, just surrounding you, laughing at 00:20:36.130 --> 00:20:38.710 you, saying, we got you now. You're not going 00:20:38.710 --> 00:20:42.809 anywhere, man. I remember them just tying me 00:20:42.809 --> 00:20:46.289 up. and kind of bounding me. But what I do remember 00:20:46.289 --> 00:20:49.089 is my arms were like this. I was holding on to 00:20:49.089 --> 00:20:51.690 two, it felt like two hands and I'll come back 00:20:51.690 --> 00:20:55.470 to where this kind of makes sense. I didn't see 00:20:55.470 --> 00:20:58.150 anything, but felt everything. Some people say 00:20:58.150 --> 00:20:59.829 they saw other people there. I didn't see other 00:20:59.829 --> 00:21:04.390 people there. I was too busy in my own hell to 00:21:04.390 --> 00:21:07.289 even have a comprehension of other people around. 00:21:07.609 --> 00:21:10.150 And then all of a sudden they were ripping me 00:21:10.150 --> 00:21:13.740 apart and I was feeling everything. I remember 00:21:13.740 --> 00:21:17.880 just shaking my head, gnashing my teeth, my jaw, 00:21:18.119 --> 00:21:21.000 just trying, you know, screaming, doing everything 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:24.819 to possibly, you know, have them stop. But it 00:21:24.819 --> 00:21:27.380 was like a twilight zone. It would happen, I'd 00:21:27.380 --> 00:21:30.799 come back to, immediately they'd rip me apart 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:33.779 again. And this just kept going on and on and 00:21:33.779 --> 00:21:36.990 on. And then I remembered... I don't know why 00:21:36.990 --> 00:21:39.589 I wasn't calling on the Lord or talking to the 00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:41.950 Lord at this time, but this felt like he turned 00:21:41.950 --> 00:21:44.250 me. It felt like I wasn't going anywhere. There 00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:47.329 was no way out of this. And I was stuck there 00:21:47.329 --> 00:21:49.250 and they were laughing, having a great time. 00:21:49.390 --> 00:21:51.269 You know, I'm calling on the Lord and he's like, 00:21:51.410 --> 00:21:54.470 he can't help you. But they were getting madder 00:21:54.470 --> 00:21:56.710 every time I would call on the Lord or mention 00:21:56.710 --> 00:21:59.990 Jesus' name. They would just get more and more 00:21:59.990 --> 00:22:03.569 upset. I distinctly remember that. And then I 00:22:03.569 --> 00:22:07.059 remember holding on to felt like two hands and 00:22:07.059 --> 00:22:09.920 just kept praying and kept praying and the more 00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:12.119 I prayed the more I would get ripped up but they 00:22:12.119 --> 00:22:14.420 would just get more and more worked up the demons 00:22:14.420 --> 00:22:17.220 at the time and then I remember the last prayer 00:22:17.220 --> 00:22:20.400 I said something to the extent of Jesus is Lord 00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:22.920 my Savior or something to that extent and then 00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:27.640 all of a sudden I hear loud footsteps and I become 00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:31.019 extremely more terrified thinking it was Satan 00:22:31.019 --> 00:22:34.490 himself coming to grabbing me up but it stopped 00:22:34.490 --> 00:22:37.970 and the demons, like four of them stopped, just 00:22:37.970 --> 00:22:42.789 enraged, walking away. And I'm like, oh Lord, 00:22:42.789 --> 00:22:44.829 thank God, you know, thinking like the ordeal 00:22:44.829 --> 00:22:48.769 is over. But one demon stayed back and he whispered 00:22:48.769 --> 00:22:51.069 in my ear, you know, I don't want to cuss, but 00:22:51.069 --> 00:22:53.690 he told me, I mean, this is how evil they are. 00:22:54.269 --> 00:22:58.150 And he said, we almost had you, mother effer. 00:22:58.430 --> 00:23:01.470 I'm just like still thinking that Satan's coming 00:23:01.470 --> 00:23:05.450 to grab me and I immediately said, praise the 00:23:05.450 --> 00:23:08.710 Lord, and then I just get sucked back in my body. 00:23:09.069 --> 00:23:13.329 Mind you, this felt like I've been in two places 00:23:13.329 --> 00:23:16.549 for like days. It felt like I was there for a 00:23:16.549 --> 00:23:20.789 long time. When I woke up, I was entrenched. 00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:23.630 I don't know if it was sweat, water, could not 00:23:23.630 --> 00:23:26.670 move my jaw because the gnashing of teeth. What 00:23:26.670 --> 00:23:29.250 I said was, praise the Lord to my friend. He 00:23:29.250 --> 00:23:31.789 was in the other bed and he immediately sucked 00:23:31.789 --> 00:23:34.960 me back in my body. my parents immediately coming 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:37.539 in the room yelling at me. I mean, and this is 00:23:37.539 --> 00:23:39.420 where it comes back probably with the two hands. 00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:42.420 And mind you, I don't talk about this with my 00:23:42.420 --> 00:23:44.500 parents. I don't talk about this with my friend. 00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.220 It's just something that just, I don't know why. 00:23:48.339 --> 00:23:50.980 I just feel like it's just something that it 00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:54.460 was my own personal near death experience that 00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:58.200 my parents suck it up to drugs. But let me tell 00:23:58.200 --> 00:24:00.630 you this. They came in the room yelling at me, 00:24:00.710 --> 00:24:02.710 this and that, and I immediately went in the 00:24:02.710 --> 00:24:04.490 room. And they're like, what, do you want to 00:24:04.490 --> 00:24:07.569 lose another brother? If you go, we go. You know, 00:24:07.650 --> 00:24:09.609 it's basically saying that we can't handle another 00:24:09.609 --> 00:24:12.930 death. I think to this day, I was holding on 00:24:12.930 --> 00:24:16.190 to their hands when my brother said stop at their 00:24:16.190 --> 00:24:19.529 bedroom. I think somehow maybe my body was in 00:24:19.529 --> 00:24:21.670 there. I can't explain it because I was in two 00:24:21.670 --> 00:24:24.509 places at once. So it doesn't make sense. During 00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:27.329 the NDE too, a lot of things happened. I would 00:24:27.329 --> 00:24:31.809 see my parents walking around. It was just all 00:24:31.809 --> 00:24:33.670 this at once that just doesn't make sense. It 00:24:33.670 --> 00:24:37.890 was kind of very miraculous. But it took me months 00:24:37.890 --> 00:24:39.990 to kind of get my head back on. I remember right 00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:42.549 after this, I was going to go to like a rehab 00:24:42.549 --> 00:24:44.670 center. I couldn't even remember my birthday, 00:24:44.950 --> 00:24:49.069 my name. I was completely just went through an 00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:53.450 ordeal that not too many people could understand 00:24:53.450 --> 00:24:56.049 unless they've obviously been through that ordeal. 00:24:56.329 --> 00:24:59.829 But what I want to say is that I remember the 00:24:59.829 --> 00:25:02.730 Lord just saying what He wanted from me was just 00:25:02.730 --> 00:25:07.549 to love people and treat them with respect and 00:25:07.549 --> 00:25:11.329 kindness. He brought me back. It was like He 00:25:11.329 --> 00:25:14.769 set my path. That last year in Long Beach, of 00:25:14.769 --> 00:25:16.569 course, I was still kind of fighting addictions 00:25:16.569 --> 00:25:19.450 at that time with the rehabs and stuff. My path 00:25:19.450 --> 00:25:22.289 was like I had people watching over me every 00:25:22.289 --> 00:25:24.730 step of the way where I could have been dishonorably 00:25:24.730 --> 00:25:27.240 discharged. I mean, my life would have been ruined. 00:25:27.420 --> 00:25:29.740 It was like the Lord was watching me every time 00:25:29.740 --> 00:25:32.819 throughout each phase of my life. And, you know, 00:25:32.920 --> 00:25:35.940 got me through the military with honorable discharge. 00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.759 Then I went back, worked for Edison for a while. 00:25:39.259 --> 00:25:40.640 That, you know, ended up getting laid off after 00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:43.359 six years, but then went back for my BSW and 00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:46.960 social work, watching out after me there, getting 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:50.099 my degree. having some disabilities, getting 00:25:50.099 --> 00:25:53.480 through seizures, end up in my master's program 00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:56.019 right now at Cal State Long Beach. He's just 00:25:56.019 --> 00:25:58.980 progressed me each and every way, and I am so 00:25:58.980 --> 00:26:01.940 generous and thankful for that. But yes, that 00:26:01.940 --> 00:26:04.940 near -death experience has really opened up my 00:26:04.940 --> 00:26:08.579 eyes, and now I kind of leave it to you. I'm 00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:12.019 sure you have questions. Only 5 ,000, that's 00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:16.220 all. Matt, that was, wow. I think I forgot to 00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:18.440 breathe for about five minutes in there. I know 00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:20.700 it's a lot of talking on my part. I know. No, 00:26:20.700 --> 00:26:24.319 no, no, no. That was just I was tense and I was 00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:27.819 waiting for for everything and just. Yeah. Yeah. 00:26:27.980 --> 00:26:29.700 Just forgot to breathe. By the way, the little 00:26:29.700 --> 00:26:31.619 noises people might hear in the background are 00:26:31.619 --> 00:26:35.000 your dog. Hello, puppy back there. Not a problem 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.160 at all. We love dogs. OK. Yeah. He's sorry. He's 00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:41.279 he's he has a disability, too. He's deaf. So 00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:44.500 he I rescued him. So yeah. Sorry about the noise. 00:26:44.650 --> 00:26:46.710 Well, I would do sign language, hello, but he's 00:26:46.710 --> 00:26:49.089 not looking at me. I want to get a few things 00:26:49.089 --> 00:26:52.829 out of the way. The first one is I want you to 00:26:52.829 --> 00:26:56.329 know that I believe you what happened to you. 00:26:56.690 --> 00:26:59.190 There are going to be some naysayers out there 00:26:59.190 --> 00:27:02.750 that say, oh, he was just on a drug trip and 00:27:02.750 --> 00:27:05.529 this wasn't a real thing. What do you have to 00:27:05.529 --> 00:27:08.329 say to them? OK, and this is where it comes into 00:27:08.329 --> 00:27:12.250 play. You could shrug off one near -death experience. 00:27:12.460 --> 00:27:14.720 You can maybe shrug off two. You can't shrug 00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:17.700 off four. And the one I had before that was at 00:27:17.700 --> 00:27:19.460 a party. And, you know, I can go into details 00:27:19.460 --> 00:27:22.140 about that, but this was the biggest one. And 00:27:22.140 --> 00:27:25.619 it was like, no, this is all real. There's no 00:27:25.619 --> 00:27:27.359 way. Yes, there are people that would be like, 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:30.079 well, and I've gotten that. And that's why I 00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:32.480 don't really tell this story, because there are 00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:34.759 those people that are out there that say, well, 00:27:34.900 --> 00:27:38.140 the drugs did this. I have what I forgot to mention 00:27:38.140 --> 00:27:40.339 after that, that near -death experience that 00:27:40.339 --> 00:27:43.000 day. I kept seeing orbs throughout the whole 00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:45.539 day. They would just come and go, and I'd just 00:27:45.539 --> 00:27:48.140 be in tears. It'd bring me right back to that 00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:51.680 experience. And that still happens to this day, 00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.259 where I would catch orbs. Either I'd be watching 00:27:54.259 --> 00:27:57.220 something, a near -death experience on TV, and 00:27:57.220 --> 00:27:59.799 I'd just see this real quick orb go quick, just 00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:04.460 very fast, and I'd be like, whoa. What do you 00:28:04.460 --> 00:28:08.359 think that means? You know, I don't know. I can 00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:10.759 only hope good things that the Lord's still watching 00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.400 out, which I do believe always. Maybe God is 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.259 still trying to speak to me because I'm still 00:28:16.259 --> 00:28:19.539 learning. I still have a long way to go. I know 00:28:19.539 --> 00:28:21.980 after a lot of people's near -death experiences 00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:26.319 that they completely changed their lives. For 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.240 me, it's been a slow progression. Yes, I've changed 00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:31.599 a lot of things. Addiction, yes, has been out 00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:34.700 of my life. That has changed. But, you know, 00:28:34.779 --> 00:28:36.960 the struggles are still very real. I still have 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:39.839 a very hard time going to church because of my 00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:41.819 upbringing. I haven't gone back to church because 00:28:41.819 --> 00:28:44.119 of that. I try to get in the Word each night, 00:28:44.140 --> 00:28:46.920 but it's like I pray each night, and don't get 00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:49.460 me wrong. But still, there are struggles that 00:28:49.460 --> 00:28:52.500 I have that are mine, and I know each person 00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:56.079 has their own. I always find myself progressing 00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.059 when I'm either in the Word of God or praying 00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.700 and helping others. Again, yes, I do struggle. 00:29:02.890 --> 00:29:05.750 and for those people that say, well, it was drug 00:29:05.750 --> 00:29:08.910 induced. They are entitled to that belief, but 00:29:08.910 --> 00:29:12.450 one day we will die. And one day I want them 00:29:12.450 --> 00:29:16.470 to know that there is this place that is indescribable, 00:29:16.650 --> 00:29:18.710 that you don't want to be left behind. I don't 00:29:18.710 --> 00:29:20.589 want to be left behind. Every day I pray that 00:29:20.589 --> 00:29:23.430 I'm not left behind. And it still worries me 00:29:23.430 --> 00:29:26.430 to this day because knowing what that other place 00:29:26.430 --> 00:29:31.309 is was consistent torment. It did not stop. it 00:29:31.309 --> 00:29:34.589 just kept going and there was no time. So a couple 00:29:34.589 --> 00:29:38.029 of things back to the drug thing. I've had a 00:29:38.029 --> 00:29:41.809 few people explain it to me as something I experienced 00:29:41.809 --> 00:29:45.009 while I was on drugs or just a dream in the middle 00:29:45.009 --> 00:29:48.630 of the night. I may remember for a little while 00:29:48.630 --> 00:29:51.890 or a day or two but a near -death experience 00:29:51.890 --> 00:29:55.190 is very clear for very many years to come. Would 00:29:55.190 --> 00:29:57.950 you say you're in that that boat right there? 00:29:58.579 --> 00:30:02.119 Oh, absolutely. And mind you, I remember so much 00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:04.480 more when I came out of the near -death experience. 00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:06.660 I wish I, you know, remember that. And I wrote 00:30:06.660 --> 00:30:09.480 a journal. Unfortunately, I don't know why I 00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:11.480 got rid of it. I wish I had it because there 00:30:11.480 --> 00:30:14.059 were definitely key points I put in there. But 00:30:14.059 --> 00:30:15.880 yeah, what was the question? Sorry. Well, we 00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:18.339 were talking about whether people can believe 00:30:18.339 --> 00:30:21.710 this is a real NDE or it was just drugs. I think 00:30:21.710 --> 00:30:24.630 we covered it well. The last question that I 00:30:24.630 --> 00:30:27.650 think fills in that gap to prove that this was 00:30:27.650 --> 00:30:31.390 real is, Matt, how much fear of death do you 00:30:31.390 --> 00:30:34.930 have now? I don't fear it. Let me say this too, 00:30:35.109 --> 00:30:38.390 because growing up, I have a very anxious person, 00:30:38.569 --> 00:30:40.369 you know, had anxiety, been through a lot of 00:30:40.369 --> 00:30:43.109 trauma. Yeah, I was very skeptical of death. 00:30:43.369 --> 00:30:46.410 You know, is this Jesus that I've been told for 00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:49.289 18 years of my life at the time? Is he real? 00:30:49.750 --> 00:30:53.759 And I remember at church as a young kid, this 00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.220 one song that they sung and I really felt the 00:30:57.220 --> 00:31:00.160 Holy Spirit come into me and I was like, whoa! 00:31:00.579 --> 00:31:02.599 That was when I was going through very struggling 00:31:02.599 --> 00:31:05.160 times. That's kind of when I was like, wow, the 00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:08.240 Lord is real, I think. I mean, I believe that 00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:11.440 it's real. Moving forward, we all have our fears 00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:14.299 of death and sharks and stuff like that. Well, 00:31:14.299 --> 00:31:17.400 for me, the ocean, but now I don't because it's 00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:20.789 like, I know that it's in the Lord's hands and 00:31:20.789 --> 00:31:24.569 it's His timing. When it's my time, and like 00:31:24.569 --> 00:31:26.710 you told me when I was with the Lord, you told 00:31:26.710 --> 00:31:29.410 me it's not your time. I believe when my time 00:31:29.410 --> 00:31:33.369 is up, it's the right time. All right, this may 00:31:33.369 --> 00:31:36.190 be a hard one, but I want you to try to explain 00:31:36.190 --> 00:31:39.789 something. And this comes from the most unusual 00:31:39.789 --> 00:31:43.130 part of your experience compared to so many others 00:31:43.130 --> 00:31:46.650 that I've heard. And that is that you had this 00:31:46.650 --> 00:31:50.569 beautiful, blissful, loving experience first, 00:31:51.190 --> 00:31:55.269 then had a hellish experience. Usually it's the 00:31:55.269 --> 00:31:58.170 other way around. Yes, and I've seen a lot of 00:31:58.170 --> 00:32:01.450 NDEs like that. But as you put it, and tell me 00:32:01.450 --> 00:32:04.970 if I have this wording right, right before this 00:32:04.970 --> 00:32:08.390 happened, Jesus said to you, you need to have 00:32:08.390 --> 00:32:12.490 faith, right? Yes. Okay, do you think that was 00:32:12.490 --> 00:32:16.190 a long -term, Matt needs to have faith, or it 00:32:16.190 --> 00:32:20.000 was meant for the experience you were about to 00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.319 have in this hellish place. Yes, I think I think 00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:26.700 so in that hellish place and then long term, 00:32:26.859 --> 00:32:29.200 but the hellish place, because he brought me 00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:31.740 completely down after that. And I think he needed 00:32:31.740 --> 00:32:35.519 to show me that it is very real. Like I said, 00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:38.640 I've watched probably hundreds of Indies kind 00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:41.019 of just putting these pieces together of what 00:32:41.019 --> 00:32:43.240 people have seen, what people have gone through. 00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:46.619 And yeah, they always have either this hell experience 00:32:46.619 --> 00:32:49.970 first, And then the heaven or just the heaven 00:32:49.970 --> 00:32:52.549 experience or just the hell experience. But yeah, 00:32:52.589 --> 00:32:56.769 it was so kind of mind -boggling that I haven't 00:32:56.769 --> 00:33:00.109 found one that has first I went to this joyful, 00:33:00.549 --> 00:33:04.390 you know, just amazing place and then went down 00:33:04.390 --> 00:33:07.430 to the darkness. So I really do believe that 00:33:07.430 --> 00:33:09.710 the Lord said to have faith because I probably 00:33:09.710 --> 00:33:12.289 about what I was going to go through. them there 00:33:12.289 --> 00:33:14.450 and with life. But what I wanted to say previously 00:33:14.450 --> 00:33:16.970 about your other question about the NDE and white 00:33:16.970 --> 00:33:19.369 people, I just remember this because this happens 00:33:19.369 --> 00:33:23.150 to me a lot. I still have dreams, too, of demonic 00:33:23.150 --> 00:33:26.630 beings and some, you know, when I'm kind of slipping 00:33:26.630 --> 00:33:29.450 a little bit, they'll be in my room and it will 00:33:29.450 --> 00:33:31.569 be like a dream, like I can't breathe. One of 00:33:31.569 --> 00:33:33.690 them was on my chest pushing me down or I couldn't 00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:37.269 call on the Lord. So it's very, very real. All 00:33:37.269 --> 00:33:40.809 I can do is just pray and tried to tell people 00:33:40.809 --> 00:33:43.349 this experience and let them take it for what 00:33:43.349 --> 00:33:47.549 it's worth. So most people in a hellish place, 00:33:47.589 --> 00:33:50.890 they call upon Jesus and they're immediately 00:33:50.890 --> 00:33:54.789 taken out of there. For you, you were also taken 00:33:54.789 --> 00:33:57.289 out of there, but instead of going to a heavenly 00:33:57.289 --> 00:34:01.329 place, you were back in your body. Yes. Correct? 00:34:01.609 --> 00:34:05.180 Okay. Yes, correct. Can you explain that? Yeah, 00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:08.320 that's something I think, you know, I could speculate 00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:12.360 what the Lord was wanting to do. I wish I was 00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:15.659 going to go back with the Lord. I just, you know, 00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:20.019 after coming back into my body and being so disoriented, 00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:22.780 you know, not knowing why the Lord just put me 00:34:22.780 --> 00:34:25.699 right back in my body, you know, obviously it's 00:34:25.699 --> 00:34:28.239 a bit upsetting, you know, because I didn't want 00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:30.480 to be here. I didn't understand my purpose in 00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:32.800 life. I didn't understand where I'm going, why. 00:34:33.150 --> 00:34:35.949 what and where, you know, the Lord has for me. 00:34:36.230 --> 00:34:39.550 Every time something loving happens in my life, 00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:42.210 it's like I feel like, wow, the Lord showed me 00:34:42.210 --> 00:34:45.630 that there. But it's like a deja vu thing where 00:34:45.630 --> 00:34:47.510 I can't explain it. It's kind of like the Lord 00:34:47.510 --> 00:34:50.530 showed me a future there. I can't remember it 00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:53.929 until after it happens. It's like, I'm so stupid. 00:34:53.969 --> 00:34:58.389 He told me that. For example, I would be interning 00:34:58.389 --> 00:35:01.210 with adults with disabilities, you know, with 00:35:01.210 --> 00:35:03.969 cerebral palsy. you know, different like schizophrenia, 00:35:04.389 --> 00:35:07.670 autism, like helping those people out, you know, 00:35:07.889 --> 00:35:10.309 loving those people. You know, that, that was 00:35:10.309 --> 00:35:13.150 the Lord showing me, I'm bringing you back for 00:35:13.150 --> 00:35:16.329 this. Like, this is what I want you to do with 00:35:16.329 --> 00:35:19.489 what I've given you is to help these people. 00:35:19.650 --> 00:35:22.409 And, you know, I believe, you know, that's the 00:35:22.409 --> 00:35:25.110 reason why I got put back in my body is to keep 00:35:25.110 --> 00:35:27.889 moving forward. I believe that the social work 00:35:27.889 --> 00:35:31.000 program was for a reason. And I got accepted 00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.239 twice for that reason, to keep helping and to 00:35:34.239 --> 00:35:37.739 move on, to keep moving forward and helping everyone 00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:41.739 that I could possibly do. And that'll be so good 00:35:41.739 --> 00:35:43.960 for you at the same time as you're helping others. 00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:47.000 Right. And I'm not saying like I'm better than 00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:49.539 anyone else. That's not what I'm saying at all. 00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:51.980 I'm just saying like, I feel like this is my 00:35:51.980 --> 00:35:54.719 path and I'm going on. The things that people 00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:58.039 see, I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it. 00:35:58.010 --> 00:36:01.389 because not only do I want to help others, but 00:36:01.389 --> 00:36:06.409 I want the Lord to be proud of me. Sorry, I kind 00:36:06.409 --> 00:36:08.190 of break up. I get a little emotional on that. 00:36:08.329 --> 00:36:12.590 I'm not looking for praise from people. I want 00:36:12.590 --> 00:36:15.130 the Lord to be like, that's why I brought you 00:36:15.130 --> 00:36:19.909 back, to love people and to help people and to 00:36:19.909 --> 00:36:22.630 continue to grow. I know it's really hard to 00:36:22.630 --> 00:36:25.329 get off drugs. On a personal note, how's your 00:36:25.329 --> 00:36:28.760 recovery going after all these years? It's a 00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:31.900 struggle. You know, fortunately, I've been sober, 00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:34.800 yes. And I'm going to be straight honest with 00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:37.039 everyone that I take a little Suboxone because 00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:40.539 it allows me to function. It allows me to work. 00:36:40.599 --> 00:36:43.280 It allows me to go to school. Some people obviously 00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.679 will say, well, you're still using this now, 00:36:44.699 --> 00:36:47.539 but no, I'm using about a crumb if I need it 00:36:47.539 --> 00:36:50.539 to move on with my life. And I pray that the 00:36:50.539 --> 00:36:52.900 Lord will eventually take that out of my life 00:36:52.900 --> 00:36:57.170 and I'll be able to fully be sober up to you 00:36:57.170 --> 00:37:00.750 know the VA and everything this is recovery to 00:37:00.750 --> 00:37:02.809 them you know going to counseling taking your 00:37:02.809 --> 00:37:05.389 medications this and that but I do believe in 00:37:05.389 --> 00:37:07.170 time the Lord will take away those medications 00:37:07.170 --> 00:37:10.630 and you know my brain will be back to where it's 00:37:10.630 --> 00:37:13.090 supposed to be yeah you won't completely need 00:37:13.090 --> 00:37:16.250 them the last thing that I wanted you to if you 00:37:16.250 --> 00:37:19.809 can to explain more to us is something that earlier 00:37:19.809 --> 00:37:23.090 you said you couldn't explain that love you felt 00:37:23.090 --> 00:37:28.090 that bliss that wonderful that you said was like 00:37:28.090 --> 00:37:31.469 this one drug times a billion. Is there any other 00:37:31.469 --> 00:37:34.010 way that you can explain it? I could explain 00:37:34.010 --> 00:37:38.829 it like being wrapped around in Jesus's arms 00:37:38.829 --> 00:37:44.449 and just your whole body is gone. Your body's 00:37:44.449 --> 00:37:47.409 not there. It's your soul. And it's like your 00:37:47.409 --> 00:37:51.659 soul is just wrapped around in this warm. blanket 00:37:51.659 --> 00:37:55.599 of love. Imagine just floating in that love and 00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:59.199 just being there in that love and enjoying that 00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:02.719 time. You're not only seeing but feeling that, 00:38:02.719 --> 00:38:06.599 wow, everything I was kind of taught is true, 00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:10.599 but Jesus, like I said, Jesus is so different 00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:14.300 than what people think. A lot of different, you 00:38:14.300 --> 00:38:18.559 know, religions think that Jesus is this judgemental 00:38:18.809 --> 00:38:21.809 type person but it was just all I got from him 00:38:21.809 --> 00:38:24.210 was straight love and mercy and the only thing 00:38:24.210 --> 00:38:27.769 he was just sad for was that I attempted to do 00:38:27.769 --> 00:38:30.989 this to myself. It was like he gave us life but 00:38:30.989 --> 00:38:34.969 I was taking that life that he gave me away and 00:38:34.969 --> 00:38:37.989 you know, that just that made him very sad and 00:38:37.989 --> 00:38:40.989 I think that was another reason why he wanted 00:38:40.989 --> 00:38:45.369 me to see, you know, that there is a very dark 00:38:45.369 --> 00:38:50.139 realm that people go to that, you know, I don't 00:38:50.139 --> 00:38:52.719 have questions. There's so many questions that 00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:56.559 I wanted to ask. Why are people down in that 00:38:56.559 --> 00:39:01.320 other realm? But he just left it with my experience. 00:39:01.820 --> 00:39:05.219 And, you know, I know a lot of other NDE's, they 00:39:05.219 --> 00:39:07.300 were shown why people were down there, maybe 00:39:07.300 --> 00:39:10.670 because they rejected Jesus, but... I believe 00:39:10.670 --> 00:39:14.150 that Jesus gives us so many chances and He'll 00:39:14.150 --> 00:39:17.369 even give us another chance on our deathbed because 00:39:17.369 --> 00:39:19.929 I will say this, and this is something that I 00:39:19.929 --> 00:39:22.670 haven't said, was that my brother said, see things 00:39:22.670 --> 00:39:24.510 come back to me here and there, my brother said 00:39:24.510 --> 00:39:27.510 to me, you don't have to worry about me. You've 00:39:27.510 --> 00:39:29.690 been looking with all these drugs, all these 00:39:29.690 --> 00:39:33.489 different things. I'm okay. I'm with the Lord. 00:39:33.909 --> 00:39:36.329 And at the end of my brother's life, he was praying, 00:39:36.670 --> 00:39:40.670 trying to move forward. in a good, good way. 00:39:41.610 --> 00:39:43.690 Unfortunately, he had a lot of friends, good 00:39:43.690 --> 00:39:46.489 friends, great friends. Accidental overdose and 00:39:46.489 --> 00:39:49.269 it just, it took a toll on all of us and it will 00:39:49.269 --> 00:39:54.670 be his 20 years in July 5th. So, I just can't 00:39:54.670 --> 00:39:56.949 believe it's been that long. Time just went by 00:39:56.949 --> 00:39:59.769 so quickly. But like I said, he just told me 00:39:59.769 --> 00:40:02.349 like, you don't need to search for me anymore 00:40:02.349 --> 00:40:07.289 because I am okay. I'm with the Lord. Yeah, that 00:40:07.289 --> 00:40:10.210 brought me some some good peace. Like I said, 00:40:10.329 --> 00:40:12.409 I still struggle because the enemy is always 00:40:12.409 --> 00:40:13.989 going to put thoughts in your head of, well, 00:40:14.010 --> 00:40:16.429 you did this, you did that, you did this, instead 00:40:16.429 --> 00:40:19.289 of looking at the, you know, the good things. 00:40:19.969 --> 00:40:22.849 There's always two battles going on in your body, 00:40:23.230 --> 00:40:26.090 especially I'm still struggling spiritually. 00:40:26.449 --> 00:40:30.110 So once I get to that spot where I am 100 % for 00:40:30.110 --> 00:40:32.690 the Lord, I think that struggle will stop. I'm 00:40:32.690 --> 00:40:34.750 not saying I'm not 100 % for the Lord, but I'm 00:40:34.750 --> 00:40:37.289 just It's hard when there are all these different 00:40:37.289 --> 00:40:39.550 things in this world that you're going through 00:40:39.550 --> 00:40:42.989 things. I'm a normal person. I go through things, 00:40:43.429 --> 00:40:47.010 ups and downs. I have mental health issues in 00:40:47.010 --> 00:40:50.449 the military and trauma. So there are things 00:40:50.449 --> 00:40:52.909 that I go through just like a normal person. 00:40:53.389 --> 00:40:56.690 Thank you for all that. If there's just one thing 00:40:56.690 --> 00:40:59.050 that everybody remembers from this, I know I 00:40:59.050 --> 00:41:01.809 just wrote it down in my notes, and that was, 00:41:02.110 --> 00:41:04.590 you said it felt like being wrapped in a warm 00:41:04.590 --> 00:41:08.409 blanket of love. That is beautiful. Thank you, 00:41:08.449 --> 00:41:10.989 Matt, for being with me today. No, I appreciate 00:41:10.989 --> 00:41:13.769 you having me on and telling you this story. 00:41:13.969 --> 00:41:16.949 Like I said, I've had another near death big 00:41:16.949 --> 00:41:20.309 one before this one, and that one, I wasn't dead, 00:41:20.329 --> 00:41:23.349 but it was still going through two spiritual 00:41:23.349 --> 00:41:27.530 realms. The naysayers could always doubt, but 00:41:27.530 --> 00:41:33.409 it's 100 % real. Thanks again for listening and 00:41:33.409 --> 00:41:35.809 sharing this podcast. Don't forget to hit the 00:41:35.809 --> 00:41:38.590 follow or subscribe button and sign up for our 00:41:38.590 --> 00:41:41.429 newsletter at roundtripdeath .com. If you want 00:41:41.429 --> 00:41:44.010 to share your near -death experience or if you 00:41:44.010 --> 00:41:46.349 have questions or comments about the show, send 00:41:46.349 --> 00:41:49.909 an email to eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until 00:41:49.909 --> 00:41:51.869 then, I wish you everything good that you're 00:41:51.869 --> 00:41:54.230 looking for in this life. and the next.