From the time that they pronounced me dead was
a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then
they paddled. My heart, my heart had stopped
and I could see people screaming and crying but
I didn't realize that was actually my physical
body because I was somewhere else. The only thing
that I could feel if you could imagine absolute
love and peace, there wasn't anything else to
be felt. I was greeted by people I had known
in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly
safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round
Trip Death, everybody. And a very warm welcome
to our special guest, Ainsley Threadgold, down
in Florida. How are you this morning, Ainsley?
I'm very well, thank you very much. How are you?
I'm doing great. We have spring here. I know
in Florida you have spring all year long. I would
love you to tell our audience just a little bit
about you and explain why you don't have a southern
accent. Ready, go. Well, I think it's quite obvious
that I'm definitely not from Florida, albeit
that I've lived here. Well, I've been in the
States since 2019. Also spent a couple of years
on Maui with my wife. Other than that, it's been
Florida. I'm from the UK originally. A little
bit about myself. I was a police officer for
a long time there, something I was always passionate
about. It was my way of helping people. Since
getting citizenship, I've been lucky enough to
continue that on Maui and I'm continuing that
with Florida as well. I'm just coming to the
end of yet another police academy. Hopefully
this will be the last one. I'm getting a little
bit old for it now. But again, police and I've
still got a passion for it. It's something that
I feel as though is a great way of me helping
people. And as we'll discuss with my near -death
experience, how that links in with quite how
I help people in my role is a little bit different.
Well, thank you for all you do. This is going
to be fun today. I don't think we have ever had
on the show someone who has had a near -death
experience and then a little while later we have
their spouse who's had a near -death experience.
So about a month ago we had Krista Gorman on
the show and she was a great guest and you also
had a near -death experience. Before we get into
yours, would you tell us your commonalities have
something to do with you getting together? In
a nutshell, yes. So many synchronicities for
how we met and those synchronicities have continued
through our relationship in relation to us both
having had near -death experiences. As I'll discuss
later, the energy of Krista was actually in mine,
so we were destined to meet. We've had lifetimes
together, we know that, we've had different past
life experiences where we know that our love
has... continued, there is that Chinese proverb
of the little fine red piece of string that attaches
to people and doesn't matter how tangled they
are or how far they are apart, but if you're
meant to meet, you're meant to meet. With our
meeting, it was a group of circumstances that
very definitely put us in front of each other
and kept us there. Our lives at the time were
not conducive to a relationship. in any way,
shape or form, living four and a half thousand
miles apart, her being here in Florida and me,
you know, still being in the UK, coming to the
end of our first marriages. And we certainly
weren't on the market and we weren't looking
for anything. We just found each other and found
something that was so compelling that we never
really lost touch. And then when the time was
right, it was like, now it's a little bit more
than friendship. And, you know, we had to...
really admit to ourselves and each other that
there was something so special it was worth the
challenge of making a go of the relationship
we spent. just about four years, you know, building
the relationship while we were still in separate
countries and, you know, eventually going through
the immigration process. We did it all properly
and we got married and then we went through the
immigration process, which took us about 14 months.
So, you know, even though we were husband and
wife, I still had to go and work in the UK and
she was still living here for a while. So anyone
who talks about the long distance relationships,
it's normally the next town or maybe, you know,
across the country. They don't really talk about
it being in two separate countries. We live in
proof that it's worth making it work when you
know when you know. Not even two separate countries,
but across the whole ocean as well. That's a
big gap. Well, we'll talk more about some of
those synchronicities. Oh, big word for me this
morning. Synchronicities later, but let's get
into it. What happened back when you were 13
years old? When I was 13, I remember the thing
with mine is that the event happened and I had
no memory of it for 20 plus years. So the event
itself happened on a boring Tuesday. I more recently
discovered that the date was June 16th, 1993.
I remember the last lesson I had on that day
was French and I remember looking out the window
just counting down the time before I could go
home. That evening, my brother and I were given
the task of helping my dad deliver pamphlets
for local government. My parents were both avid
with local government at the time and we were,
you know, it was one of those times where they
were having a local election, so my brother and
I were tasked with helping my dad deliver leaflets.
It's one of those boring evenings where you're
just posting things through, you hope there isn't
a dog on the other side to bite your fingers,
and that was it. There was nothing more exciting
than that. The last place that we were to go
to, my dad put us in the car and drove us there,
and I remember seeing the sign for the road,
it was a country road called Clay Lane, so I
distinctly remember seeing that sign, and then
I don't remember anything else. What actually
happened was that my father had... parked us
up somewhere safe and we were delivering leaflets
either side of clay lane to get it covered and
at some point during that time I was hit by a
car. I was told later, when I eventually woke
up in hospital, that the car was travelling at
about 40 miles an hour. Being a police officer,
I know the statistics for survival. If a child
of my age at the time and my size was hit at
30 miles an hour, then there's an 80 % chance
of survival with injury and a 20 % chance that
you don't come back at all. Well, at 40 miles
an hour, it's reversed. So there's an 80 % chance
that that child doesn't come back at all. and
a 20 % chance of survival. Normally that's with
quite significant injuries, you know, brain injuries,
life changing. So that was the event. And as
I say, I don't recall anything, or I certainly
didn't recall anything until I woke up in hospital
many, many hours later. I was remembering it.
I was in a bed that wasn't mine. I was in this
dimly lit orange room, which I knew immediately
wasn't mine. And I remember looking up. and seeing
my parents and my brother sat on three plastic
chairs, looking very concerned. That was my first
memory of something out of the ordinary happening
there. My short -term memory was shot, so apparently
I kept having to be reminded of what happened.
I was asking the same question over and over
again, albeit that my memory isn't quite the
same. But that was it. I went through the process
of finding out what was wrong. I had a long operation
to... put my left leg back together. It was my
left leg below the knee which was completely
smashed. It was the bones were just bits and
obviously I had some head injuries and other
things as well. The only thing that I think was
special at the time was that the doctor that
worked on me wasn't meant to be there. So he
was one of the top bone specialists in Europe
and he was actually leaving that day and my case
came in just before he left. So he stayed out
of interest. asked the other doctors what they
were going to do and they were like pins in a
cage I mean you know it's a mess there he's lucky
he's still got his leg and he was like I think
I can manipulate everything back together without
having to use any of those things and he did.
So I didn't have to have a K, I didn't have to
have pins. He told me himself that I had to have
those things done. Then I would have been left
with a permanent limp and probably by now I would
have been in a wheelchair. So certainly no policing.
So that was the only real miracle I can think
of. At the time, the only strange thing that
I had was that I could no longer wear watches.
I'd been given a watch for my 13th birthday,
and I was very proud of it. It was sat on my
wrist at the time I was run over, and that, amongst
other things, was broken and destroyed. So my
parents, as a treat, bought me the same watch
and gave it to me in hospital. And while I was
in hospital convalescing, the watch stopped and
broke. And then the next watch I had did the
same thing. And as I grew up and grew past the
initial event and followed my teens into my 20s,
the same thing would happen over and over again.
And then I discovered that I would also disturb
radio signals. CDs would skip. When I eventually
came around to having my first cell phone or
mobile phone, as we call them in the UK, I would
always notice that the signal around me was very
poor or nonexistent. So I've had my phone in
my pocket. I would very often miss calls or text
messages, and when I took my phone out, put it
away from me, then the signal would suddenly
come back. I've also fried someone's digital
camcorder while they were filming a session with
me. It's the lady that eventually be the hypnotherapist
that allowed me to recover the memories of my
near death. She also did something called, was
it now, forensic healing. While she was doing
the training, she asked me if I would do some
sessions and she would record them. and one of
the sessions she recorded, and it was quite a
profound session for me. You know, she bought
this brand new camera, she spent a lot of money
on it, digital camera, and she did the recording.
After the session, she came to try and download
the information from it, and it wouldn't work,
it wouldn't turn on. So she took it back to the
store, and they said, I don't know what you've
done with it, but you've fried the insides. It's
like... that was that was our thing. It's just
messing with electricity. So that was the only
thing that I noticed that was different about
me. Otherwise, I just got on with life. And it
wasn't until I was older that I was given the
opportunity to remember things. I find that so
interesting. I've heard this from a few other
people, a few other experiencers. It certainly
doesn't happen to everybody. But I can think
of a handful one person that said that a watch
would run for about a month. And so they had
12 watches, one for every month. And after a
while, so they would wear it for a month, it
would work, and then it would die. They would
put it in a drawer, pull out the next one. After
a few months, it would start working again. And
so they just rotated through all these watches.
Somebody else that was on the show talked about
going into a cell phone store. trying an Android
phone, using it for a few seconds and then it
would totally die. So the clerk got her another
one, used it for a few seconds, it totally died.
For some reason, an iPhone didn't do that. Now,
this is not an iPhone commercial, but I find
this really peculiar and super interesting. I've
never seen any study or science done on it. Do
you have any personal theory of your own of why
this happens? I actually spoke to someone that
did a particular type of healing modality with
people and he was saying that what tends to happen
with someone who's had a profound experience,
now whether it be a spiritually transformative
experience or a near -death experience, is as
a vessel there are cracks in the vessel because
we've had the profound experience and it's caused
a disturbance in the force. And it's those cracks
with the energy of who we truly are hasn't quite
transmuted itself back into this vessel. So we're
going back into a smaller vessel than we left.
You know, we realize that we're bigger and it's
the process of healing where those cracks are
still present and the energy is still very strongly
coming out that he found was possibly the cause
for the electrical disturbances. I mean, we are
electromagnetic, so it stands to reason that
if we've had something profound happen to us
that, you know, that does change things. We found
that when people were on a healing journey that
very often they would find a way of balancing
that. And I certainly have found that the only
time I tend to drain things now is if I'm emotionally
in the wrong place and I try and keep myself
steady. Certainly with the work I do, it's no
good for me to store things or not deal with
things. I certainly have found a way of balancing
my energies enough so that most of the time I
don't disturb energies too much. When I have
done it in the past, I've drained a car battery.
So that is a big one. Yeah, yeah, and it was
my car as well, so it was a right pain to spend
the money to get it changed and things like that.
So I know the importance of balancing my energies,
not just because I don't want to drain my phone
or mess with the radio or things, but it's more
important for life in general. But yeah, he touched
on it and it was like the healing process between
you've had an incident which is life -threatening,
life -changing, you've come back. you might not
necessarily remember that you wanted to come
back. You know, a lot of people wanted to stay
and felt as though they were forced back. So
there's that, you know, there's also that disparity
between having this wonderful experience and
coming back into this life and not being the
same. And then relationships fall apart and,
you know, the people who were left, they're happy
that you're back, but then you're suddenly different.
So you're not the same person that they remember,
you know, and that could be, well, you had this
accident, you were sleep for a bit you woke up
and you were a different person and they don't
understand so you know there's all of these little
things these fissures that need to be healed
and unless you are open to it and aware of it
then that's where you know you do end up being
told and I think it's like little universal signs
look there's something not quite right here it's
not normal for people to drain the battery on
a car so what's going on with you we have to
be a little bit more careful I think yeah okay
Let's jump up to the NDE itself. Some people
remember these immediately when they wake up
from whatever happened. I've talked to some people
that two or three or four days later or even
a few months later remember. For you, it was
about 20 years. First of all, what brought the
memory back? And then let's talk about what happened
and what you remember from it. When I was 34,
I was probably in the worst spiritual state I
could be in. I wasn't in that greatest state
physically and I woke up one morning and had
acute sciatica. Obviously sciatica normally affects
the left side and in this case it did as well
but I didn't have the pain. What I had was a
lack of sensation or power in my left leg below
my knee. Now as we discussed earlier that was
where I broke my leg so below my knee was smashed
and in this case when I was 34 the sciatica affected
the same place and you know I couldn't stand
on the leg, the calf muscles wouldn't work, I
could wiggle my toes and you know if someone
you know touched my foot and things I could feel
that but there was just no power there. I had
to have time off work because I can't be a police
officer and not have full use of my legs. Whilst
I was off trying to figure out how to sort this
issue out, I went to go and see an osteopath
who I'd used before. And while he was manipulating
things on one of the sessions, I spoke to him
about what I thought might be a correlation between
the accident that I'd had when I was 13, i .e.
where my leg had been affected. And now I was
like, well, maybe there's some nerve damage there
that's been irritated and maybe that's why it's
been affected. And I spoke to him about the event
and that I didn't really remember it and that
I woke up and suddenly couldn't wear watches
and things like that. And he said, well, it sounds
to me like you've had a near -death experience,
you just don't remember it. So he went to his
bookshelf and pulled out a book on near -death
experiences. And it was by a lady called Dr.
Penny Sartori. Now, Penny Sartori was a nurse
in Wales in the UK. for a high dependency unit
and she'd had some very profound experiences
with people who'd passed away in her presence
who then came back and said I think I've been
somewhere. One thing led to another and she was
allowed to she was given grants to do this long
-term study on the near -death experience in
the hospital setting and that culminated in her
first book so the book was given to me. and I
was reading it and for the first time I was reading
people's experiences where I could relate to
the after effects it's like oh that sounds like
things I've been through and that sounds like
me and you know not fitting in quite and having
the problems with electricity and stuff like
that so I was reading things and it's like for
the first time I felt as though I wasn't strange
or odd Again, I still didn't have a memory. There
was nothing there that really triggered anything
and, you know, it's slightly frustrating when
you're almost there. It's like the word on the
tip of your tongue. You just can't quite get
it. So that's at that point that I was at. At
the back of the book, there was a website for
a near -death group in London. So I reached out
to them because I was interested to see whether
there was other people who'd had near -death
experiences or, you know, had the after effects
of a near -death experience but no memory. And
they... eventually wrote back and said, you know,
we have not heard anything like that, but, you
know, keep it posted. We're, you know, we'd be
interested to find out what you find out. And
during that time, I was thinking, well, how else
do I get hold of a memory that, you know, it
might be buried deep in my head while hypnotherapy
suddenly occurred to me. You know, I did a web
search and there was, I think there was four
names of people that were local to me. Funnily
enough, the furthest person away from me was
the one that jumped off the screen. It was like,
you need to call this person, this person. It
was like her name was almost prominent from the
screen. It was like a 3D effect thing. It's like,
call this person. So I did, I left a message,
explained who I was and what I was interested
in. And, you know, within an hour, she got back
to me. The lady with his name was Karen and it
was interesting because during the phone call
it was like I'd known her for a long time. It
was like we were a brother and sister or something
like that. It was like a you know conversation
with family. You know it put me at ease that
I'd chosen the right person. We arranged for
me to have a session and she explained to me
how her sessions work and she was a fully qualified
clinical hypnotherapist but she'd also gotten
into the regressional hypnotherapy. And she said,
well, you can do it in one of two ways. You can
either have a short session and it gives you
an indicator as to how this works, or you can
just dive in with both feet and see what happens.
Well, me being me, I want to dive in. We had
the session. The way it worked was that she got
me into a nice, relaxed state. I was lying on
a massage table. She got me into a nice, relaxed
state and she would get me to imagine a garden.
and in the garden there was a series of pathways
and steps going down and each time you went down
a set of steps you went down a level in your
consciousness and eventually when you were further
enough down you were on a pathway and it was
set on one side with trees and the other side
was a wall with a series of doors. and the idea
was that in that super conscious state you would
choose a door, you would walk through the door
and then you had a certain amount of tasks to
do to discover what was going on, who you felt
you were, was it something in this life, was
it something in a past life and you would look
at your feet first and then you would look up
to see whether you recognized any clothes that
you were wearing and then you would look at your
surroundings and you would go from there. So
the first experience I'll go over very briefly.
It was actually a past life of mine and I very
immediately realized that I was an old man and
I was stood in a very old -fashioned 11th or
12th century church in southern France. I knew
that I was a devout Catholic monk, but I also
knew that I was ashamed of my religion. for the
first time I had a memory of looking at my old
hands and I could see I was holding a cross but
I was also holding my hands were bloody. The
interpretation wasn't there so I went to the
pulpit, opened the Bible that had always been
a source of solace for me and the words didn't
mean anything. Afterwards I realized that what
was going on at that time in France is that the
Cathars who were an off -cutting of the Catholics
were being systematically slaughtered. by the
Catholic Church. And the feeling of me having
blood on my hands was because I felt as though
I was part of it. You know, my religion was doing
this and it's also me. So I was brought out of
that experience and Karen led me to choose another
door, but try and choose a door in your current
life. So I chose the next door, did the same
thing, looked at my feet and tried to figure
out where I was, you know, looking at my surroundings.
And I realized that by looking at my feet, I
was half buried. in a ditch. I realized I was
a child. I very quickly realized I was back at
the scene of my accident. So I could see the
ambulance. I could see the people coming out
of the ambulance. I couldn't move. I could feel
the dazed panic of realizing that something had
happened, that I had no control over myself.
I remember being put in the ambulance. During
the ambulance ride, I was visited by my grandfather
on my mum's side. He died three months before
I was born. I was, you know... born to a grieving
mother. So it's a grandfather I never knew in
life, but he was with me. I later was told that
actually my granddad, Tom, was one of my guides
and he'd always been with me. But on this occasion,
he was almost physically there. You know, he
spoke to me and said how proud he was of me.
And he said, I'd like you to do something for
me if you can. When you see your mum, I want
you to tell her how proud I am of her. He died
when he was 49. With the situation at home at
the time, I don't think he ever really got much
chance to let her know that he was very proud,
but he wanted that message to be passed on by
me. He said, but for now, I want you to close
your eyes and everything's going to be okay.
So as I closed my eyes, I left my body and ended
up in the clouds. It was like this cloud space.
I was on this meandering cloud river and in front
of me was this magnificent cloud city. And I
was... floating towards the cloud city and as
I got closer there was a figure in the distance
coming closer to me, a male energy in a series
of white robes came to be next to each other.
I was brought to a standing position, the male
figure knelt in front of me and he put one hand
on my chest and the other hand on my face. Now
the interesting thing for me being under hypnosis
was that I was having this experience but I was
also still somewhat aware of the fact that I
was lying on the table and I could actually physically
feel the heat of the hand on my chest and the
hand on my face. He spoke very gently to me,
he said, hello my son, I am the carpenter. You
know me as I know you. I love you as you love
me and as I love everyone else. You're very special
to me and I would like you to do something for
me if you choose to go back. I want to speak
through you. Now at that point he said, you're
not going to remember any of this until the right
times. So the times bits important. But at that
point, that was the end of the experience as
far as I was aware. I was then brought back into
my body. I had a very quick few memories of being
semi -conscious in the hospital. And then I was
brought back from the experience. the hypnosis
experience. Now I figured that I'd been under
for about 20 minutes. When I got the CD of the
session, it was an hour and a half long. There's
that complete time difference. You're away and
you don't realize you're away that long and then
all of a sudden you've been away for a while.
And for me... Going into that experience, I tried
to have no preconceived ideas. I didn't want
to think that, oh, well, you know, I want an
experience because the memories I brought back
might just be horrible memories of being hit
by a car, but I was prepared for it. I don't
think I was quite prepared for actually coming
back with an experience because where I was at
the time in my life didn't really match with
the responsibility of... having had an experience
where I was told by someone who may or may not
have been a Jesus energy telling me he's going
to speak through me because I didn't feel as
though I was worthy of it. So I had this elation
and then all of a sudden this responsibility,
this, you know, heaped on me for, you know, gosh,
I've got to, how on earth do I, you know, be
spoken through and, you know, help people when
I didn't know how to help myself. I did realize
that I had been spoken through a lot during my
twenties and, you know, I hadn't really made
the connection until that point where I've been
an officer, I've been in and around the police
since I was 25 and there'd been a number of occasions
where people would just talk to me about anything.
You know, they'd come for a policing reason and
all of a sudden they'd be telling me something
very personal that they'd never spoken to anyone
else about and I just had the answer. and I never
really knew why. It was just there. I was always
very quick to interpret messages. When I went
to church for a while as well, the messages would
just come there and I never really knew why.
And then when I woke up from having this hypnotherapy
session, it was like, ah, maybe I've already
been used and now I'm consciously aware of it.
That's the first part of the memory of the experience
and I'll get to the rest of it because there's
a... set of synchronicities that led me to remembering
the rest of it. What do you say to people who
don't believe that memories that come through
hypnosis are real? I know some people, most people
realize yeah this is a real thing but I've heard
of some that don't believe it or don't believe
in past life regression. What do you have to
say to them? To me it really doesn't matter.
There are scientific studies on memory and where
memory comes from. and if you are remembering
a true event, especially something which is highly
emotive, so whether it's a traumatic event or
whether it's a really nice happy event that really
means something to you, there is an emotional
connection with that memory which gives you an
emotional release and there's a particular part
of the brain that lights up when you have a memory.
as opposed to when you are told to make a story
up. So when you're telling someone a story that
you've made up, different parts of your brain
lights up because it's the story making parts
of the brain and it's different from the memory
parts of the brain, the emotive memory. And for
me, if ever I've questioned it myself, I always
have to go back to how emotional it has been
for me to share in the past. There's certain
times where I've broken down in tears because...
You know, it's such an emotional thing to recall.
It had a massive impact and it's completely changed
my life. It was changing my life without me realizing
it and then certainly after I came back from
the hypnotherapy sessions, I can't go back to
who I was. You know, I was very closed off. I
had been painfully shy as a child into a teenager
and that followed me my whole life. very quick
reference, until I realised that I needed to
do something to love myself, I couldn't get dressed
without being under a towel. And that was if
I was completely on my own in the house, I'd
have to wrap myself up in a towel. I was completely
ashamed of who I saw in the mirror. And if I
looked at myself in the mirror, it was always
the side I look. I could never really truly look
at myself because I wasn't really happy with
who I saw. So after that point the responsibility
or part of the responsibility I felt was for
me to start to heal myself and go on that journey
instead and learn how to talk about how I felt
and I didn't really know how to do that and it
took me a long while. Krista certainly has helped
with that, you know, still helps with that. It's
the distinct change that tells me that what I
had experienced was true because If it was, you
know, made up like a dream or something like
that, if you ever had a dream that's completely
changed your life, I don't think anyone has.
Some people have turned around and said, oh,
maybe the experience is, you know, just your
brain's last ditch attempt to try and stay alive.
And, you know, it's like a hallucination or maybe
it was drug induced. Well, the hallucinations
are different. You know, the long lasting effects
of hallucination are completely different from
the effects of an experience or, you know, something
like that. It's changed my life, and if other
people don't believe it, well, that's fine. I
mean, if they haven't had that experience, then
how can they tell? Yeah. Who cares? OK. Was there
anything else that happened before we talk about
the synchronicities? So many things, but there's
only so much time today. So much time in it.
I've had this in the past where I've talked about
the whole thing. It's taken me a long time because
there's lots to it. So I try as much as possible
to skip to the good bits and try and cover as
much in a short time as possible. All right.
Well, tell us something you've never told anybody
before. Oh, talk about put you on the spot. There
may be something we find interesting that you
don't think is interesting. That I will that's
yeah see this the thing about doing the talks
is like, you know, I try and narrow things down
and I and I have talked about different aspects
during different talks I've done and You know,
I've always tried to let things just flow again
if I'm being spoken through then I always you
know use that as a guide to whatever whatever
is meant to you know, come out, comes out, whatever
emotion I'm meant to feel, I feel. I try not
to mask things. You know, I have, you know, openly
cried on different podcasts and things before,
just because of, you know, being reminded of
the experience is quite profound. I think the
only thing that I haven't really shared was just
before Krista and I left Maui, we went to the
top of Haleakala to watch the sunset. So we've
been up there a couple of times for you know
at different points in the day and we've been
there over the Christmas period one time and
it was it was midnight so it was completely pitch
black we were the only ones up there but this
time just before we left we decided to go and
see what a sunset would be like with as high
up as Haleakala is you know the the cloud base
is a lot lower than the peak of the mountain
with the way that the sun was And the way that
the clouds were was the only time I've ever seen
something which was very similar to the cloud
city that I saw. And that was very profound for
me to actually visualize something that came
as close as anything else to having that vision.
I've been up there for sunrise. I can picture
what you're talking about. Yeah. And I know quite
a few people have. By the way, if you haven't
done it, take a blanket with you. It can be a
little chilly. Yeah, it's the same thing with
the sunset as well. As soon as the sun starts
to go down, it's like, oh yeah, you know, can
be a little bit cooler up there. But yeah, so,
you know, from a different perspective for the
sunrise, you know, if it hits the clouds in the
right way, you've just got that, you know, golden
light that hits the clouds. And it was just to
say it's about the closest that I can think of
in my life where I've actually pictured something
which was about as beautiful. And I know it's...
funny we say about the Hawaiian Islands is Kauai
for Krista. Some of the views there were the
closest things that she could picture to part
of her experience. So it's interesting that there's
a, you know, now I'm talking about it, there's
a synchronicity there for us as well. All right.
I'm going to turn the interview over to you.
Where do you want to go next? I suppose it would
be nice for me to explain what I mean by when
I said about the right times during the last
part of the memory that I had during the hypnotherapy.
I knew at the time that there was a point to
me not having any memory of the near -death experience.
I mean, if I'd have woken up as a 13 -year -old
child having had the full experience, then that
would have completely changed my life and taken
me in a different direction than I was destined
to go in. And certainly, I'm not sure how well
it would have gone down at school, had a, you
know, oh, Ains, you know, knowing you got run
over, but how was your summer? Oh, well, you
know, it was part of the running over. I went
somewhere and met someone that... may have been
Jesus and he told me that he was going to speak
through me. It doesn't really, you know, doesn't
really deal with the kids. So I'm kind of glad
that when I had the remembering, it was at a
time where as an adult, I could really correlate
it to the different points in my life. Well,
not long after the experience that I was given,
I wrote back to the near death UK group and told
them and you know they were the first people
outside of my immediate family that I shared
with and they were very happy that I'd had the
experience and said oh you live near Manchester
and I was like yeah I live in Cheshire which
is next door and they were like well we were
hoping to set up a near death group up there
because we're being flooded. with people who
have requests that we just can't get to and they
live that way. So we've got someone else who's
interested in setting the group up. Would you
also be interested in helping out? And I was
like, yeah, of course, whatever I can do. They
put me in touch with a lady called Kelly Walsh
who became vital to my meeting Krista and also
became a very good friend. She'd had an experience
after trying to commit suicide. She visited seven
different realms during this experience and came
back with a message that like -minded souls would
come together to change the world. And she also
came back with this idea of a character called
the Positivity Princess. So she was the embodiment
of the Positivity Princess. And she wanted to
find a way of getting souls to connect as, you
know, she'd been given this task, I suppose,
with her experience. So we got to know each other.
And she was like, well, I find it very useful
on Facebook with the near -death groups on there.
Are you on Facebook? And at the time, I'd come
away from it. I'd been off Facebook for a couple
of years. And I was like, I'm not really sure.
I didn't really have a good experience last time.
And she was like, oh, no, no, honestly, this
is totally different. These people are lovely.
And they're from all over the world. So I set
up another profile. I got onto Facebook and after
a short time I've been on there, she said, I
want to set up my own group called the Positivity
Power Movement. Will you help me? Yeah, of course.
What do I do? So she said, well, who do you already
know from the near death family? And I knew a
few people by then. I was like, well, can you
invite those people? And she said, I'll invite
people that I know. So we invited, you know,
lots of different people to this group. And when
we got a nice little group of people, you know,
from America and Canada and different parts of
the UK, we were given the task of creating videos,
you know, talking about who, you know, briefly,
who are you? And, you know, what experience have
you had? And, you know, what is it that you want
to do to change the world? Other people had done
their videos and everyone was like, oh, this
is great. And likes and loves and lots of, you
know. Lots of love was shared about what they
put out there, and you're so brave, and it was
almost like a big round of applause for everyone.
I did a video that I felt really strongly about
and got no likes. As far as I was aware, no views,
no loves, no comments, and nothing. So my ego
was hurt a little bit. But I didn't realize that
someone had watched the video, had watched the
video a few times. And that person was Krista.
Now she said... the the energy of the video you
know certainly with me being a you know a big
guy you know big roughy toughy cop talking about
love and compassion she said it hit like hit
her like a freight train and she was like who
is this guy i think she watched it five or six
times and just couldn't get over the energy of
the video and how it struck her she did a video
and i had a similar feeling so you know we shared
a few messages here and there, and began to develop
a relationship, a friendship online. It took
us about nine months because, like I said before,
with where we were in our lives, it wasn't conducive
to anything else other than a long -distance
friendship. But as time went on, things changed.
My marriage ended, her marriage ended a little
bit later on than that, and it was like... Maybe
there is something here, maybe there's a reason
why these things are happening and we still are
in touch, albeit that I drew away a few times.
But by the end of 2015, she decided she wanted
to come to the UK to visit me. So she came over
and if I didn't already know how I felt, I certainly
knew when she finally came off the plane and
was stood in front of me. I always say it's like
one of those magic movie moments where everyone
disappears. Bearing in mind, I'm in Manchester.
airport. Part of the airport was my police force's
responsibility, so I knew the airport quite well.
But when she was stood there, everyone else disappeared.
It was like the room dimmed. We shared a kiss,
and I couldn't find my car. I was that overwhelmed
with the energy of who she was. It stood in front
of me finally, after spending nine or 10 months
just talking to each other like we are now. Yeah,
I couldn't find my car. She had to actually find
my car for me, and she'd never been there. So
I knew there was something special. and after
probably six months to a year after that I had
a series of really very deep meditations where
I was brought back into my experience. So I was
brought back to the cloud space, I was brought
back to the carpenter and you know at the point
where he asked me whether I would allowing him
to speak through me. He showed me my omnipresence,
so there'd been a number of other me's that had
also come to this point, where they'd, you know,
for different reasons, they'd died and passed
on, and they'd been given the same, you know,
request. Would you allow me to do that? And they'd,
for some reason, they'd all chosen to stay. Part
of it was that I was given a ball of energy,
and this ball of energy was everything that I...
was going to be. Everything that I'd been up
to that point, everything that was going to be,
all of the decisions that I was going to make,
all of the interactions that I was going to have,
all of the hurt that I would cause, I would feel
that it was almost like a life review without
having lived that life. And initially I didn't
want to go back either. It's like, if I'm going
to have to be this person, I don't want to do
that. I don't want to hurt people. You know,
not physically hurt people, but emotionally hurt
people. with how it was and you know gave that
back and it's like oh no I'm not sure but I was
given time to feel it through and I was brought
into a space where I was sat on a moss covered
rock next to a lake and the lake water was lapping
against the shore and I realized that the lake
water was like love so it was drawing over the
shore so you know you get covered with this love
every now and again and sometimes the the water
has to be drawn back. and is that there's a case
of not being fearful of that love drawing back
because all it's doing is it's just taking a
layer of view that isn't necessary away so it's
as it does with the shoreline it takes a little
bit of the shoreline away every time it draws
back and I realized that the lake was like love
and that's how love works and I felt like I'd
made a decision so I was brought back and rather
than the carpenter being stood there it was a
female energy this time who was in his place
and the female energy said hello my love you
don't know me yet but if you choose to go back
I want you to do me a favor I want you to come
find me after that I immediately woke up from
my meditation and I immediately knew who that
was and it was it was Krista so we had found
each other and again like I said earlier on where
I realized that being given too much information
at the wrong times would have maybe led me to
completely miss the turnpike for us meeting.
It was at that moment where I realized that all
of that was necessary for us to have that meeting.
And then after that, we discovered all of the
other synchronicities that put us in touch with
each other. Why on earth did she know Kelly?
Well, when I mentioned about the book by Dr.
Penny Satori, Kelly at the time was very interested
in trying to write her own book and had contacted
Penny Satori in the UK. Krista had already written
her book and was interested in UK publishers
because she wanted to publish internationally
and had written to Penny Sottori. Penny Sottori's
inbox at the time was about 14 or 15 thousand
emails and she just didn't have the time to read
any of them. But she chose to read Krista's and
she chose to read Kelly's and for some reason
she decided that they should connect. So Penny
connected Krista with Kelly. Obviously I was
connected with Kelly. Kelly invited Krista to
the Positivity Para movement and then Krista
watched my video. So there's all of those things
that put us in touch with each other and again
you know I didn't realize at the time the importance
of that until when we met and you know we really
realized that there was a love there and then
I had that remembering of the fact that her energy
was the reason why I chose to come back and it's
yeah it's mind -blowing it still blows my mind
to this day she's just as special to me now as
she ever has been and you know we very often
sometimes we'll just look at each other and it
just I don't know it brings us to a space whatever's
going on you know when we were struggling on
Maui that's what got us through again we realized
we were there for a reason we were there for
the fires so for some reason our energies were
there to help and we knew When it was time to
go, it was time to go. The island invited us
there and she also invited us to leave and luckily
we were very gracious to listen and I think that's
a testament to the help that we've been for each
other. We're very reflective of each other. I
see myself in her and she sees herself in me.
I don't want to go too much into her personal
life but she's always felt as though she was
very difficult to be around and because she's
always been so sensitive. with energies and you
know she's very empathic and I don't find it
difficult to be around at all and I never have
been and it's like I don't understand why you've
ever thought that and if anyone else has ever
thought that then they need the head testing
because she's so easy to be around. Maybe that's
because I love her but you know it's like this
it's a constant choice for us to evolve with
each other. and you know we keep having to choose
that and there's times where I change and she
has to choose whether she changes as well and
then she changes and I choose whether I change
as well and luckily so far we've we've changed
together and hopefully that will continue that
wow we don't get love stories on this show very
often thank you for sharing all of that we need
to wrap up before we do I want to go back to
ask just one question, and that is you mentioned
meeting your grandfather, someone who died before
you were born. How did you know who he was? I'd
seen pictures of him growing up. You know, my
mom still had pictures. So when he was there,
and obviously, you know, certainly with The interesting
thing is that I was a 13 -year -old and I was
also a 34 -year -old at the same time. So being
in that ambulance situation, it was immediately
apparent to me that it was him from the photographs
that I remember and the energy of him as well.
I then recognized that there's been a number
of times where he has been there and I had a
spiritual medium tell me a year or so before
I had the therapy that he was one of my guides
and he was very strongly with me. So yeah, it
was an easy energy -recognizing energy. On a
scale of 1 to 10, how much fear of death do you
have? Very little. I deal with death a lot. With
the force I worked for in the UK, we covered
the railway network. And unfortunately, when
people are in a place where they struggle, the
easiest way to end your life is being hit by
a train. So I dealt with that a lot. You know,
in Maui, we dealt with suicides and overdoses.
all sorts of things. I've had my own profound
experience with cancer back in 2018, just after
Krista and I got married. I was diagnosed with
testicular cancer, which is obviously very treatable,
very healable. But once I'd had the initial consult
and had the initial operation to take out the
cancer, it was the left testicle that was affected,
so that was taken out. I went back in for my
second consultation, which should have been Yeah,
we've taken the cancer out. There's nothing else
in your body, but we need to do step A, B, and
C, whatever that might be, because there's two
different types of cancer it can be. It can be
a seminoma or a non -seminoma. Very briefly,
a seminoma is the most mild form, which is very
treatable just with one course of chemotherapy.
The other one is a little bit more difficult
because it can be a mixture of cancers, and it
has to be treated with a little bit more aggressive
cycles of treatment. But both are very treatable.
I, going in there expecting to hear that, wasn't
expecting for there to be a different specialist
in there turning around to me and saying that
we firmly believe that you've got lymphoma. And
we're very rarely wrong. Sorry for the bad news,
but don't ask me any questions because it's not
my specialty. You're going to have to wait for
your hematology appointment. See you later. So
I'm left with that very, you know, I wasn't even
sure whether I should be devastated at the time
because it didn't mean anything to me. Well,
again, me being me, I went on to Mr. Google and
found out that for someone of my age at the time
in my late 30s, having a lymphoma with a primary
presentation in the testicle meant that I had
an end -stage autoimmune disease like HIV and
that it was a death sentence. So there was nothing,
there was no media, there was no research that
had been done which told me anything different
because there wasn't anything there. So as far
as I was concerned, I'd gone from being told
I had cancer, which should have been very treatable,
to being told that I might not be here. I had
to face that. And, you know, there was a little
bit of time where I was initially scared, but
it wasn't scared of the death so much. It was
the fear of how I'd impacted others because if
I'd have had an end stage and had it been something
like HIV, first of all, where had I contracted
it from? And... that would have affected my ex
-wife. I certainly would have passed it on to
my daughter. And then how would that have affected
Krista, who's only just got married? And all
of these things were going through my head. And
it boiled down to me having a moment where I,
you know, sent Krista a message. She was working
in the ER. You know, I said, I think I've done
something a little bit stupid. I've gone onto
Google and I found out all of these horrible
things. And she phoned me back as soon as she
could. And she was like, listen, first of all,
I don't believe that the diagnosis, even though
it's like a strong diagnosis, I don't believe
that. Secondly, I love you. Completely floored
me. Because why would she, if I'd have had these
things and that would have affected her, why
would she still? But she did. And she said, look,
it really doesn't matter. If I have to quit my
job and come live with you in the UK, I will.
For whatever time we have if I can bring you
over here and you could be treated here then
same thing We'll just do it. So it's that point
where it's like, okay, so I have a very definite
choice either choose fear and allow that to rule
whatever life I might have left or I just have
to trust and choose love so I chose love about
two or three days later I had a phone call from
a nurse practitioner in the haematology department.
I'd spoken to her previously and she understood
my situation, you know, with the long distance
relationship and, you know, the fact that I had
planned on convalescing in Florida for a period
of weeks and that I needed to be there because
Krista's daughter, Maggie... had just turned
18 and I had a very special present to give her.
So she said, well, look, you know, let's have
this meeting that's going to discuss your case.
I will advocate for you and I'll see what I can
do, but don't hold your breath because if you
are very ill, then we're going to need to start
very aggressive treatment immediately. So I have
this phone call. The nurse practitioner spoke
to me and I immediately realized that she sounded
quite chirpy, but I wasn't quite sure why because
I was expecting bad news. And she was like, oh,
Mr. Dreggold. Yeah, so we've had this meeting
and I know that we said that we're very rarely
wrong, but on this occasion we have been. The
hematology department have looked at your slides,
they've looked at the CT scan that you had and
the initial fear was that you had some lymph
nodes that were slightly swollen. Well, they're
not anywhere near as swollen as they would be
for us to be afraid. They need to be a centimeter
or bigger and they weren't anywhere near that.
and the slides it appears that there was a fault
with one of the slides and we've cleaned all
that up and actually yes you still have had cancer
but you've had the most mild form which is a
teminoma. So I went from you might not be here
in a few months to you've got the rest of your
life. That must have been a long few days. Yes.
you know, in the end, it was worth it. I was
actually out with my mum and we were out at a
health food store in a local town. She's great.
When she's on a mission to help heal people,
she is on a mission. So she'd done a load of
research. She was looking at the diet that would
help me through aggressive chemotherapy. And
we'd gone to this place, especially to look for
certain foods that would help me to, you know,
keep my strength up. And I got this phone call
and I said, Mom, I'm just gonna have to go outside.
And I went outside and had this phone call. And
in the middle of time, this, you know, big burly
guy burst into tears and, you know, tears of
happiness and gathered myself together and phoned
Krista. And, you know, with the time difference,
it was quite early in the morning here. So, you
know, I phoned her and she answered straight
away. And I said, I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna
be okay. I'm gonna be okay. Rather than missing
Maggie's birthday, I was able to be here. So,
yeah, it was a whirlwind. But that's that thing
with death. It's like I wasn't really afraid
of the death. It was the consequences of how
that death might happen. I realized then that
the best thing to do in any circumstance is to
choose the most loving thing. What's the most
loving thing to do? What's the most loving thing
to do for myself? And it certainly isn't to be
afraid. Hey, Ainsley, thank you for sharing all
this with us today. My pleasure. Thanks again
for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't
forget to hit the follow or subscribe button
and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath
.com. If you want to share your near -death experience
or if you have questions or comments about the
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good
that you're looking for in this life and the
next.