WEBVTT 00:00:03.719 --> 00:00:06.719 From the time that they pronounced me dead was 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:10.220 a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then 00:00:10.220 --> 00:00:13.560 they paddled my heart, my heart stopped and I 00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:17.079 could see people screaming and crying but I didn't 00:00:17.079 --> 00:00:19.480 realize that was actually my physical body because 00:00:19.480 --> 00:00:22.800 I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:26.800 feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:29.829 there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was 00:00:29.829 --> 00:00:32.829 greeted by people I had known in the past. I'm 00:00:32.829 --> 00:00:36.210 back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at 00:00:36.210 --> 00:00:41.009 home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody. 00:00:41.530 --> 00:00:44.590 And we have a very special guest in her car today. 00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:47.390 Thank you for pulling over so you're safe. This 00:00:47.390 --> 00:00:50.390 is Chelsea Elizabeth. How are you? I'm doing 00:00:50.390 --> 00:00:53.570 well, yes, avoiding the spring breakers who have 00:00:53.570 --> 00:00:56.789 launched to our beautiful Florida for the 60 00:00:56.789 --> 00:00:59.570 degree windy weather today. If you're in Florida 00:00:59.570 --> 00:01:03.030 listening, sorry guys, it's not a beach day. 00:01:03.630 --> 00:01:06.370 Well, that doesn't sound all that bad to me right 00:01:06.370 --> 00:01:08.250 now being up in the mountains. It's a little 00:01:08.250 --> 00:01:11.209 bit colder than that, but enough for the weather 00:01:11.209 --> 00:01:14.549 before we jump into your near -death experience. 00:01:15.209 --> 00:01:17.810 And I'm going to give it a little tease here. 00:01:18.269 --> 00:01:22.010 It has something to do with a great big dog. 00:01:22.569 --> 00:01:25.870 It does. Great big dog. Before we jump in there, 00:01:26.109 --> 00:01:29.950 tell us who is Chelsea? I am a farm girl from 00:01:29.950 --> 00:01:32.790 Tennessee, originally. Know the dialect, did 00:01:32.790 --> 00:01:35.230 not leave, but you'll hear it come out quite 00:01:35.230 --> 00:01:39.489 often. Grew up, left home, college and... never 00:01:39.489 --> 00:01:42.609 really looked back, have been in biotech pharmaceutical 00:01:42.609 --> 00:01:46.170 cells, most of, well, all of my career for the 00:01:46.170 --> 00:01:49.689 most part, done some consulting here and there 00:01:49.689 --> 00:01:53.810 and most recently finished a manuscript which 00:01:53.810 --> 00:01:58.170 is in editing and I hope to be published in the 00:01:58.170 --> 00:02:00.950 near future. A lot of people that come on have 00:02:00.950 --> 00:02:04.390 a book out and I don't mind plugging it just 00:02:04.390 --> 00:02:07.489 a little bit, but the plug for you is It's in 00:02:07.489 --> 00:02:09.870 development and it's going to be awesome when 00:02:09.870 --> 00:02:11.770 it comes out and we don't even know the title 00:02:11.770 --> 00:02:14.530 yet, do we? I don't even know the title. The 00:02:14.530 --> 00:02:16.969 title has changed so many times. It's going to 00:02:16.969 --> 00:02:19.849 be the last piece of the puzzle. I think once 00:02:19.849 --> 00:02:23.729 I actually sit down and read my own book again, 00:02:24.349 --> 00:02:28.189 decide what the best message is. It started out 00:02:28.189 --> 00:02:31.689 very different than what it ended when I handed 00:02:31.689 --> 00:02:35.539 it over to the editor. So it's been... an evolution 00:02:35.539 --> 00:02:38.740 of sorts that has been very rewarding for me, 00:02:38.819 --> 00:02:42.139 very healing in this journey, we'll call it. 00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:46.060 Yeah, very therapeutic, I imagine. Yes. Okay, 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:51.039 so everybody in a few months be looking for Chelsea 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:54.879 Elizabeth, the author. Yes. Okay. Yes. I want 00:02:54.879 --> 00:02:58.000 to get into it. You are a dog lover. Give us 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:00.060 a little bit of background. What kind of dogs 00:03:00.060 --> 00:03:03.699 did you grow up with? So growing up, I was raised 00:03:03.699 --> 00:03:06.379 with golden retrievers. And in the backyard, 00:03:06.580 --> 00:03:10.500 we had beef cattle. And then along the way, I 00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:13.919 would pick up any stray dog, cat, squirrel, you 00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:17.419 name it. It came to the farm with me. And animals 00:03:17.419 --> 00:03:21.599 were always my happy place. Just when life kind 00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:23.860 of got you down, it's just go snuggle with your 00:03:23.860 --> 00:03:27.539 pup. Being single, you want to come home and 00:03:27.539 --> 00:03:30.060 you've got this tail wagging, somebody excited 00:03:30.060 --> 00:03:34.960 to see you. and rescuing, just giving any animal, 00:03:35.460 --> 00:03:39.020 even humans, even the chance to thrive. Once 00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:44.379 I got my first home, began rescuing, wanted big 00:03:44.379 --> 00:03:48.539 dogs. I'm a little person and so started with 00:03:48.539 --> 00:03:51.800 Great Danes and fell in love with Abigail the 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.939 first one and ever since have been adopting Great 00:03:55.939 --> 00:03:59.719 Danes. I currently have Amelia who is my seven 00:03:59.719 --> 00:04:04.349 -year -old. and she's a rescue. It was late July, 00:04:04.409 --> 00:04:07.689 early August. I adopted another Great Dane, a 00:04:07.689 --> 00:04:11.949 male. Had him for a couple of weeks and he snapped 00:04:11.949 --> 00:04:16.649 at me, you know, got my arm. I ignored the warning 00:04:16.649 --> 00:04:21.269 signs and kept him. And it was a week after that. 00:04:21.389 --> 00:04:23.810 It was a Sunday night, beautiful Sunday. August, 00:04:23.870 --> 00:04:26.930 hot, humid evening was approaching, probably 00:04:26.930 --> 00:04:32.870 five. He snapped. and came at me face on, took 00:04:32.870 --> 00:04:37.389 this side of my face forehead over off. I was 00:04:37.389 --> 00:04:41.329 able to roll over and he went to town on the 00:04:41.329 --> 00:04:44.170 back of my head. I don't know how I got out of 00:04:44.170 --> 00:04:49.250 the house. I remember knowing that I had to protect 00:04:49.250 --> 00:04:53.269 my neck and so I had one hand over the carotid 00:04:53.269 --> 00:04:57.410 artery and I remember looking up and seeing Amelia 00:04:57.410 --> 00:05:02.560 in the corner just I remember asking her for 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:07.319 help. And in that moment, looking back, it crushes 00:05:07.319 --> 00:05:09.339 me that I asked her for help because she was 00:05:09.339 --> 00:05:14.019 helping me by not joining in, by not joining 00:05:14.019 --> 00:05:17.800 her pack. She had declared me as a pack and knew 00:05:17.800 --> 00:05:21.459 that she could not save me. I somehow made it 00:05:21.459 --> 00:05:24.439 out of the house, looking back at the photos. 00:05:25.689 --> 00:05:27.790 was a struggle to get out of the house based 00:05:27.790 --> 00:05:32.389 on the glass sliders. And my neighbors found 00:05:32.389 --> 00:05:37.189 me. I remember the attack. I remember laying 00:05:37.189 --> 00:05:41.029 on my patio. I remember sitting in their living 00:05:41.029 --> 00:05:45.550 room. And sitting in their living room, I remember 00:05:45.550 --> 00:05:49.589 focusing on a light. In focusing on that light, 00:05:50.350 --> 00:05:54.129 everything was just bright, kind of an aura. 00:05:54.519 --> 00:05:58.300 and noise became white noise and pain didn't 00:05:58.300 --> 00:06:03.740 exist. Fear wasn't present. There were what felt 00:06:03.740 --> 00:06:07.220 like a very long amount of time that I felt like 00:06:07.220 --> 00:06:10.939 I was just kind of floating and everything okay. 00:06:11.699 --> 00:06:16.379 It was just magical. It was excruciating pain 00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:21.879 to just peace and light and noise that was calming. 00:06:22.759 --> 00:06:27.000 I woke up in the ambulance. Now I know there 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.240 were only three people in the ambulance, but 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:33.920 to my right there was someone holding my hand. 00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:38.680 And I will never, ever forget it because to my 00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:41.899 left they were placing IV or whatever they were 00:06:41.899 --> 00:06:45.160 doing and I remember looking at that EMS and 00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:49.379 I asked her, I said, I'm dying, right? And I 00:06:49.379 --> 00:06:53.879 remember to my right going a squeeze and hearing 00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:59.639 it's okay, Chelsea. And I knew it was okay. The 00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:03.259 ride very uncomfortable, but I had a hand to 00:07:03.259 --> 00:07:05.639 hold. I didn't have an out -of -body experience. 00:07:05.740 --> 00:07:08.480 I don't know what heaven looks like. I can't 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:11.240 bring any messages back, but I know that heaven 00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:16.579 exists because in several moments of that trauma. 00:07:16.990 --> 00:07:20.970 there was peace and there was somebody that I 00:07:20.970 --> 00:07:24.750 could see holding my right hand in that ambulance. 00:07:25.670 --> 00:07:29.149 Any idea who that was? No. No, I actually went 00:07:29.149 --> 00:07:32.730 back to the EMS station and talked to them and 00:07:32.730 --> 00:07:35.310 asked them, are you sure? Because, you know, 00:07:35.310 --> 00:07:38.170 they brought two ambulance. I'm like, are you 00:07:38.170 --> 00:07:40.389 sure somebody from the other ambulance didn't 00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:44.589 ride? No. No, you only had one person back there. 00:07:44.769 --> 00:07:47.550 You know, that's protocol. So, you know, I was 00:07:47.550 --> 00:07:51.509 able to share my story with them. But a lot of 00:07:51.509 --> 00:07:54.290 things that happened, I had to fact check, because 00:07:54.290 --> 00:07:57.189 I forced myself to go back and look at the photos 00:07:57.189 --> 00:08:00.910 that the police in Animal Control made. I forced 00:08:00.910 --> 00:08:06.250 myself to go through and watch every video. And 00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:10.430 everything in my memory is incorrect. Incorrect. 00:08:10.610 --> 00:08:13.629 I would have told you it was dark at night. That 00:08:13.629 --> 00:08:16.870 was the only light I could see. It wasn't until 00:08:16.870 --> 00:08:19.610 I watched the video that I realized it was broad 00:08:19.610 --> 00:08:23.649 daylight. I was at the hospital before it was 00:08:23.649 --> 00:08:27.569 dark, but in my mind, it was dark and all I had 00:08:27.569 --> 00:08:30.689 was that one light. When you say video, was this 00:08:30.689 --> 00:08:33.649 like a doorbell camera or what was it? Yes, it 00:08:33.649 --> 00:08:37.049 was doorbell cameras and cameras that are in 00:08:37.049 --> 00:08:39.429 the front and the back of the house. So every 00:08:39.429 --> 00:08:43.309 external exterior camera, it caught it. And so 00:08:43.309 --> 00:08:49.320 I saw... And I don't know how I survived. I think 00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:52.620 I know why it's becoming a little more clear, 00:08:53.100 --> 00:08:56.840 but I should not have survived. I did lose, you 00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.820 know, I lost my head. So a little wig if it falls 00:08:59.820 --> 00:09:04.440 off, my apologies, but my entire scalp, ears, 00:09:04.740 --> 00:09:10.639 forehead, neck, shoulder, back, off, gone, nothing. 00:09:12.110 --> 00:09:16.649 The plastic surgeons sewed up what would have 00:09:16.649 --> 00:09:23.690 been five feet two inches. So five feet two inches 00:09:23.690 --> 00:09:28.110 just on shoulder up is what they sewed together 00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:32.250 as he wrote as a puzzle piece fitting and pulling 00:09:32.250 --> 00:09:35.870 skin just to close the head back up. And then 00:09:35.870 --> 00:09:40.230 I was sent to ICU. where they assumed I would 00:09:40.230 --> 00:09:43.649 catch infection. I had a clot in the right vertebral 00:09:43.649 --> 00:09:46.850 artery, which was very dangerous. I was on Heparin 00:09:46.850 --> 00:09:51.529 and around the clock watch. The records were 00:09:51.529 --> 00:09:55.730 very hard to read because in the moment you don't 00:09:55.730 --> 00:09:59.509 know how bad it is. And it wasn't for a long 00:09:59.509 --> 00:10:02.850 time that I realized how bad it was. Let's take 00:10:02.850 --> 00:10:06.759 a breath for a second. and explain a couple of 00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:10.720 things to the listeners. One is on this podcast, 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:13.100 usually what we're doing is talking to people 00:10:13.100 --> 00:10:16.899 that have had a clinical kind of death, left 00:10:16.899 --> 00:10:20.480 their body, come back. We don't usually talk 00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:24.759 about... Near death in the term of oh, I almost 00:10:24.759 --> 00:10:28.700 got hit by a truck today, but I'm fine But yours 00:10:28.700 --> 00:10:32.600 was such a horrific thing that happened and you 00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:34.600 said you didn't have an out -of -body experience 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:38.679 But it is awfully close or similar or something 00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:41.399 spiritual was going on when you talk about the 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:46.149 light and this Being that was holding your hand 00:10:46.149 --> 00:10:48.190 and we're gonna come back to a little bit more 00:10:48.190 --> 00:10:50.710 of those details the other thing I wanted to 00:10:50.710 --> 00:10:54.509 interject here was I've known some great Danes 00:10:54.509 --> 00:10:59.029 and they seem to be the most friendly big Lick 00:10:59.029 --> 00:11:03.389 your face to death wonderful dogs out there Has 00:11:03.389 --> 00:11:06.610 that also been your experience and what do you 00:11:06.610 --> 00:11:09.049 think happened with this particular one that 00:11:09.049 --> 00:11:13.320 day? That has always been my experience. Every 00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:16.480 single grade day, and I've had, count them eight. 00:11:16.899 --> 00:11:19.320 Just things that are pocket -paddle size, crawl 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:22.980 up in your lap, lean on you, love you, lick you. 00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:26.600 Just follow you everywhere. I've never had to 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:30.019 leash one of mine. They just, they want to touch 00:11:30.019 --> 00:11:32.960 you all the time. So they follow you everywhere 00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:37.139 you go. I have a son, he's 12 now, when he was 00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:40.570 an infant. I had two great tanks. He would roll 00:11:40.570 --> 00:11:44.029 all over them, play in the floor. He'd run himself 00:11:44.029 --> 00:11:46.990 until he fell over to take a nap. And they would 00:11:46.990 --> 00:11:50.490 be on either side guarding him. Abigail would 00:11:50.490 --> 00:11:53.309 sleep in front of his door. Yeah, they're just 00:11:53.309 --> 00:11:57.169 not aggressive animals at all. And I have to 00:11:57.169 --> 00:12:01.029 believe that with this particular one, he was 00:12:01.029 --> 00:12:06.179 abandoned and forced to survive. which Great 00:12:06.179 --> 00:12:11.100 Danes, the ones I've had, they're not the survivor 00:12:11.100 --> 00:12:14.860 type. They're very dependent. And so I think 00:12:14.860 --> 00:12:17.840 that he had to fight for his life in the wild. 00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:21.919 And for whatever reason, he was triggered by 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:26.000 the dogs in the backfield that day and felt like 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:31.539 he had to do what was necessary to guard his 00:12:31.539 --> 00:12:35.960 space and attacking me. He had not been with 00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:41.759 me that long, a month. He had just a bad beginning. 00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:44.539 And like Amelia, she had a bad beginning. It 00:12:44.539 --> 00:12:47.120 took me a year to socialize her. She was scared 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.120 of everything. A loud noise. She would run through 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:53.580 the house, pooping, hiding in the closet. And 00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:56.860 so that they all come from a different background, 00:12:56.980 --> 00:13:00.759 just like humans. And what we have to do to survive, 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:05.230 they have to do too. It wasn't that he wanted 00:13:05.230 --> 00:13:10.870 to attack me. It was that that was what he knew. 00:13:11.370 --> 00:13:14.169 That was all he knew. I'm glad you cleared that 00:13:14.169 --> 00:13:16.409 up because I don't want people to think that 00:13:16.409 --> 00:13:20.110 Great Danes are bad, mean, aggressive dogs because 00:13:20.110 --> 00:13:23.129 in general they're not. Something with that one 00:13:23.129 --> 00:13:26.559 had some kind of a history. and it snapped. Oh 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:30.440 yeah, now adopt another one. I will have to have 00:13:30.440 --> 00:13:34.639 another one. So that's not going to hold me back. 00:13:34.820 --> 00:13:38.480 I have no fear of dogs. My son loves to go to 00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:41.360 animal control and visit all the pups and play 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:44.620 with them. My friend of mine got a brand new 00:13:44.620 --> 00:13:49.980 rescue. Let that dog right in my face. So there's 00:13:49.980 --> 00:13:54.519 no fear of the animal. It's understanding that 00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:58.639 that poor guy had a traumatic start. All right. 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.559 Let's talk about what you described as floating 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:05.740 floating. Yeah, it was uh Interesting and it 00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:08.940 was I can't tell you how I made it out of the 00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.600 door and I'm not Positive that I opened the door 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:14.240 because those sliders are quite difficult to 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:17.059 open But I do remember being outside on the patio. 00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:22.220 So my brain skips between being inside and hearing 00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:27.639 teeth against my skull to laying outside. I didn't 00:14:27.639 --> 00:14:32.440 know what to do. I sat. And when I sat is when 00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:38.019 I just felt light, like I was just floating. 00:14:38.259 --> 00:14:42.480 And that's when there was the light. I remember 00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:46.500 standing up. And again, I don't feel my feet 00:14:46.500 --> 00:14:49.100 on the pavement, but I remember standing up. 00:14:49.399 --> 00:14:53.539 It's just a light. feeling almost as if you're 00:14:53.539 --> 00:14:56.419 suspended in water. Somebody's turned the lights 00:14:56.419 --> 00:14:58.940 out and all you can see is the pole light right 00:14:58.940 --> 00:15:01.759 there in front of you. That's the closest thing 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:05.679 I can compare it to. And the noise is just white 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:09.980 noise. It's just noise, not scary, not harps 00:15:09.980 --> 00:15:14.080 playing, but just noise, just static. And there's 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:17.759 nothing scary to look at. And that's what I remember. 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:21.750 And I remember seeing the same thing when I was 00:15:21.750 --> 00:15:24.830 sitting in my neighbor's house in their living 00:15:24.830 --> 00:15:30.129 room, just focusing on that light and that noise. 00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:32.950 I remember not really being able to hold my head 00:15:32.950 --> 00:15:36.950 up and just feeling like I was melting. You also 00:15:36.950 --> 00:15:39.610 used the word peace. When did you feel that? 00:15:39.830 --> 00:15:42.629 When I made it outside, when I remember waking 00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:47.909 up outside, it was peace. I have no memory or 00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:52.639 sensation of pain from the point that I was sitting 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.360 outside until I woke up in the ambulance. No 00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:00.200 pain, no fear. So the emotions of peace and fear 00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:04.279 are very opposite, right? Most people would be 00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:07.700 so struck with fear at that point. That would 00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:10.360 be a normal human reaction, I would believe, 00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:13.879 wouldn't it? Yes, and I remember the point of 00:16:13.879 --> 00:16:20.190 fear and that level of Knowing you're dying is 00:16:20.190 --> 00:16:24.029 nothing that can be placed into the English language, 00:16:24.250 --> 00:16:28.929 any language in words. There's nothing more terrifying 00:16:28.929 --> 00:16:32.350 than knowing you're dying and feeling yourself 00:16:32.350 --> 00:16:36.710 dying and knowing that you didn't get to say 00:16:36.710 --> 00:16:40.669 goodbye and that this is it. This is it. And 00:16:40.669 --> 00:16:43.850 this was only about a year and a half ago. So 00:16:43.850 --> 00:16:46.940 I think you're still processing some of it. whether 00:16:46.940 --> 00:16:51.000 you left your body or not, something spiritual 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:54.720 happened. And I wish you could think of more 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:58.019 about what kind of whoever was holding your hand 00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:00.600 in the ambulance, because I'd love to drill down 00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:02.860 on that, but you don't have any other memory, 00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:07.660 do you? You know, I've tried. I even tried hypnosis 00:17:07.660 --> 00:17:11.170 so that I could see her face. I recognize the 00:17:11.170 --> 00:17:14.329 voice. That's what's interesting is I know the 00:17:14.329 --> 00:17:16.569 voice. And I've told my therapist, I know the 00:17:16.569 --> 00:17:19.569 voice. I've got to know who it is. And I said, 00:17:19.589 --> 00:17:22.170 if I heard it again, I would recognize the voice. 00:17:22.930 --> 00:17:26.069 But you know it's female. I do. It's definitely 00:17:26.069 --> 00:17:29.450 a female. And what did she say exactly to you? 00:17:30.089 --> 00:17:32.710 You're not going to die. It's not time yet. It's 00:17:32.710 --> 00:17:34.970 going to be OK. It's going to hurt. It's going 00:17:34.970 --> 00:17:38.740 to be OK. We're here. I'm not leaving you. kept 00:17:38.740 --> 00:17:40.859 hearing over and over, I'm not leaving you, you're 00:17:40.859 --> 00:17:43.539 not dying. I'm not leaving you, you're not dying. 00:17:43.799 --> 00:17:47.940 You've got more to do was one of the takeaways. 00:17:48.059 --> 00:17:50.819 You've got more to do. I'm like, how am I going 00:17:50.819 --> 00:17:54.519 to be able to do anything? I feel what's going 00:17:54.519 --> 00:17:57.960 on. By that time, you have the wherewithal to 00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:00.819 know that where you're going, you're not going 00:18:00.819 --> 00:18:04.680 to get to leave any time soon. That was a very 00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:09.990 hard reality. knowing that I don't know when 00:18:09.990 --> 00:18:14.150 I'm coming back home and not knowing I was angry 00:18:14.150 --> 00:18:17.789 because I'm like, I just want to go back there, 00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:20.789 back there. No, we can't go back there. You're 00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:23.910 not ready. You can't go back. You know, I was 00:18:23.910 --> 00:18:27.529 so angry for the longest time that I could not 00:18:27.529 --> 00:18:30.970 go back. And you'd look after an experience like 00:18:30.970 --> 00:18:34.470 that and you're in this place of peace and happiness 00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:38.099 and The world isn't so heavy on your shoulders, 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:42.400 and you can't go back. You have to stay here. 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:46.359 That's the hardest thing. Dying isn't scary. 00:18:47.259 --> 00:18:51.839 Death is not scary. It's beautiful. It's so peaceful. 00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:56.059 Living is the scary part, and you want to go 00:18:56.059 --> 00:19:00.869 back to that light. You want to go and see, you 00:19:00.869 --> 00:19:03.410 want more of that light, you want more of that 00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:06.930 noise, you want more of that experience. Is that 00:19:06.930 --> 00:19:09.150 the end of the experience or is there something 00:19:09.150 --> 00:19:13.710 else that you remember? I remember being in the 00:19:13.710 --> 00:19:15.690 living room knowing that I had to guard my neck 00:19:15.690 --> 00:19:20.130 and I had to get the focus off of what was going 00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:23.069 on and have a reason to just fight. You think 00:19:23.069 --> 00:19:26.329 of any other reason to get back up, keep pushing 00:19:26.329 --> 00:19:30.250 and By that time, I had lost a lot of blood. 00:19:30.529 --> 00:19:34.430 But I remember almost like a slideshow or a movie, 00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:43.150 a video of my childhood and me and my dad outside 00:19:43.150 --> 00:19:47.049 by the pool just as it was placed in. And I remember 00:19:47.049 --> 00:19:51.990 his swimsuit. I remember what the ground looked 00:19:51.990 --> 00:19:54.430 like. It was still red mud. There was no concrete. 00:19:55.940 --> 00:19:58.720 And I remember jumping in the water with him. 00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:02.319 And that's what death felt like. Just jumping 00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:07.799 in the water and being done and just that exhilaration 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:10.880 flowing through your body. And I remember the 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:13.500 same thing being at the beach with him and him 00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:16.480 letting me ride the waves as a little one and 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:20.000 just feeling that experience. And I can tell 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.079 you the color of his swimsuit, it was yellow. 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:26.549 And the other one was orange. I'm way too short, 00:20:26.869 --> 00:20:31.730 but I remember those childhood moments and being 00:20:31.730 --> 00:20:36.609 at home, laying on Daisy, our first dog, and 00:20:36.609 --> 00:20:40.369 playing with her little puppies. And that's where 00:20:40.369 --> 00:20:45.150 I went in that moment, and I just had to get 00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:51.609 back to them. I had to get back to that, but 00:20:51.609 --> 00:20:54.890 that place to me in that moment was that light. 00:20:55.130 --> 00:20:57.730 Because that's what I saw. I had to get back 00:20:57.730 --> 00:21:02.349 to those memories and to that happiness and to 00:21:02.349 --> 00:21:06.269 that peace. I didn't want to wake back up where 00:21:06.269 --> 00:21:09.529 I was. I didn't want to face what was coming. 00:21:10.509 --> 00:21:14.150 I wanted to go back to that. And it was very 00:21:14.150 --> 00:21:18.089 hard. And that's where the anger came in, is 00:21:18.089 --> 00:21:21.930 why do I have to come back to this? And so that's 00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:25.289 been the... Obviously, the most emotional part 00:21:25.289 --> 00:21:31.250 for me is I can't go back there yet. But my childhood, 00:21:31.650 --> 00:21:34.730 beautiful memories that were just the time I 00:21:34.730 --> 00:21:38.430 had and the time I will have with my parents. 00:21:38.970 --> 00:21:43.309 But I had never before remembered any of that. 00:21:43.349 --> 00:21:46.670 I was far too young. When I fact checked with 00:21:46.670 --> 00:21:51.369 my mom, it was correct. I remembered it correctly, 00:21:51.789 --> 00:21:54.299 colors and all. And these are times from when 00:21:54.299 --> 00:21:57.500 you were a baby or a very young child? Yep, nine 00:21:57.500 --> 00:22:01.259 months, nine months roughly. Six, nine months. 00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:04.160 How has all of this changed your life? You're 00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:07.240 a different person. I am. I am a very different 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:12.059 person. Family's first. Work's second. Money, 00:22:12.220 --> 00:22:14.740 you really, when you're laying there, it doesn't 00:22:14.740 --> 00:22:18.539 matter. I have always been one that worked never. 00:22:18.890 --> 00:22:21.230 cared about taking a vacation. I was going to 00:22:21.230 --> 00:22:24.250 cash in on the vacation. Now I take the vacation. 00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:28.210 When I finally was well enough, well, prior, 00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:32.109 my parents came to see me after I was out of 00:22:32.109 --> 00:22:36.269 the hospital. I was in that angry phase of things. 00:22:36.269 --> 00:22:40.390 And it wasn't until they'd left that I realized 00:22:40.390 --> 00:22:44.269 how much I needed them. And I think the second 00:22:44.269 --> 00:22:49.099 they pulled out of my driveway, I... I packed 00:22:49.099 --> 00:22:52.519 my suitcase, put Amelia in the car, and we went 00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:55.180 home for what was going to be a week. It ended 00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:58.460 up being four months. And I just stayed. I was 00:22:58.460 --> 00:23:02.700 with my mom, my dad, my aunts, my uncles, my 00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:07.279 cousins. That was very healing for me. Just being 00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:10.880 around the people you love and not worrying about 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:14.460 anything else. Not worrying about status quo's 00:23:14.460 --> 00:23:18.140 or... societal opinions or how much money's in 00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:22.519 the bank. Just spending the moments with the 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.680 people you love and just having those hugs and 00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:31.599 those conversations. I would not change a single 00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:33.599 day of that four months. I just wish I could 00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:37.299 have extended it even more. Priorities certainly 00:23:37.299 --> 00:23:40.579 shift when you wake up. What mattered before 00:23:40.579 --> 00:23:43.910 doesn't matter anymore. I don't have anybody 00:23:43.910 --> 00:23:49.950 to impress. I don't have any kind of legacy, 00:23:50.309 --> 00:23:54.170 anything to leave, other than every day I encounter 00:23:54.170 --> 00:23:57.250 an angel. That's one day they take the shovel 00:23:57.250 --> 00:23:59.930 out of my hand, and that's what I say. You know, 00:24:00.109 --> 00:24:02.690 God, if I've got to live here, put an angel in 00:24:02.690 --> 00:24:04.809 front of me that takes the shovel, because I 00:24:04.809 --> 00:24:07.670 want to dig my own grave. And He's done that. 00:24:07.769 --> 00:24:11.069 He's done that every day in the most unsuspecting 00:24:11.069 --> 00:24:14.730 places. somebody comes by and takes the shovel 00:24:14.730 --> 00:24:17.430 out of my hand. That's all we can do is take 00:24:17.430 --> 00:24:21.130 it day by day. That's beautiful. Last thing, 00:24:21.329 --> 00:24:24.509 any advice for someone that has just been going 00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:28.410 through a really difficult, really difficult 00:24:28.410 --> 00:24:30.750 something, whether it's a regular trial or something 00:24:30.750 --> 00:24:35.410 hugely physical as well as emotional? Feel. Feel. 00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:39.630 If you're mad, be mad. If you're sad, cry. If 00:24:39.630 --> 00:24:44.880 you're hurt, Be hurt. Don't pretend you're something 00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.960 that you're not because that's what I did and 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:49.740 it nearly killed me. Pretending I'm happy, pretending 00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:52.880 I'm well, pretending I'm okay when I wasn't. 00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:58.579 Live your truth. Hurt. Feel. Cry. Do it in public. 00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:04.259 Because until you feel, you don't know why you 00:25:04.259 --> 00:25:06.859 feel. You don't know what's behind it. There's 00:25:06.859 --> 00:25:10.460 so much emotion. For me, there was so much emotion 00:25:10.460 --> 00:25:13.359 that I didn't know what was behind it. There 00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:17.559 was more. I wasn't mad at the dog. I wasn't mad 00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:22.079 at anybody. I was just mad. When I finally was 00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:25.759 able to work the anger out, I was able to cry. 00:25:26.019 --> 00:25:29.980 And I'm not a crier. The fact that I cried on 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:35.240 this podcast is pretty remarkable. That's a huge 00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:39.660 hurdle that I jumped. I don't cry. And I've learned 00:25:39.660 --> 00:25:43.920 to cry. And I've learned to be sad. And I've 00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:49.519 learned to find the emotion that's real. That's 00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:53.359 the book. It took a turn because where I started 00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:57.039 wasn't where I ended up. The message changed 00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:02.640 completely as I understood myself. And the most 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:06.740 difficult part to understand is that while I'm 00:26:06.740 --> 00:26:09.460 living, breathing, and seeing myself in a mirror, 00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:12.839 I've got to grieve my own death because the life 00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:16.779 I had before is gone. Those people that were 00:26:16.779 --> 00:26:20.920 there before, their life went on. While I was 00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:23.839 in the hospital, while I was in wound care, they 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:28.359 kept living. And I can't pick back up six months 00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:32.259 later and expect everything to be the same. My 00:26:32.259 --> 00:26:36.880 life stopped. Theirs went on. And I've got to 00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:40.160 grieve the death of that life. And when you go 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:43.539 through anything traumatic, you're not supposed 00:26:43.539 --> 00:26:46.059 to be the same. You're not supposed to come out 00:26:46.059 --> 00:26:48.440 the same on the other side. It's impossible. 00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:52.309 You're different. Time does not heal those wounds. 00:26:52.569 --> 00:26:54.750 You can't sit there and wait for life to go back 00:26:54.750 --> 00:26:59.109 to the way it is. Time changes you. Time doesn't 00:26:59.109 --> 00:27:02.390 heal. It just changes you. And you have to embrace 00:27:02.390 --> 00:27:06.470 that. And if it's been five years, 15 years, 00:27:06.490 --> 00:27:09.710 50 years ago, and you're still sad, you're still 00:27:09.710 --> 00:27:12.809 struggling, good. That was important to you. 00:27:13.069 --> 00:27:16.769 You should still be sad. You should still feel 00:27:16.769 --> 00:27:20.660 the love that was. We're not supposed to just 00:27:20.660 --> 00:27:24.720 turn off human emotion and move on like nothing 00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:29.500 happened. We're supposed to remember what was, 00:27:29.740 --> 00:27:34.160 embrace it, love it, feel what was, and make 00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:37.460 today better because of it. We're not supposed 00:27:37.460 --> 00:27:39.539 to leave it behind, close the book, and move 00:27:39.539 --> 00:27:43.319 on. And I'm so sick of people saying, just get 00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:48.809 over it. No, no, don't just get over it. That's 00:27:48.809 --> 00:27:53.150 not love. You don't just get over the love you 00:27:53.150 --> 00:27:57.470 have for yourself or for the loved one that you 00:27:57.470 --> 00:28:01.269 lost or the friends, the boyfriend, the dog. 00:28:01.369 --> 00:28:05.630 I still cry now over my first Great Day Napgal. 00:28:07.089 --> 00:28:11.809 It's time to normalize pain. It's time to say 00:28:11.809 --> 00:28:14.630 it's okay to cry in public. It's okay to voice. 00:28:14.910 --> 00:28:18.519 It's okay. You're stronger. If you're not okay, 00:28:18.819 --> 00:28:21.880 then if you run around pretending you're okay, 00:28:22.420 --> 00:28:25.740 you can't do it. And you should be able to talk 00:28:25.740 --> 00:28:29.799 about it whenever, however you want to. And if 00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:32.900 nobody will listen to you, I will. I'll listen. 00:28:33.180 --> 00:28:35.400 I'll give your phone number out to everybody. 00:28:36.440 --> 00:28:39.859 I'm kidding. I would not do that. But Chelsea, 00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:43.299 you are a strong person and thank you so much 00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:46.339 for sharing all of this with us today. I hope 00:28:46.339 --> 00:28:49.140 that. I hope there's one person out there that 00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:53.079 just needs to know it's okay to be sad. It's 00:28:53.079 --> 00:28:57.519 okay to be sad. It is. We grow from those normal 00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:04.200 human emotions and we evolve. And I today am 00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:08.380 much more compassionate and empathetic to anyone 00:29:08.380 --> 00:29:11.079 and everyone that I encounter because you just 00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:14.339 don't know what kind of day they've had. We hear 00:29:14.339 --> 00:29:16.910 it all the time, but... Take that seriously. 00:29:17.630 --> 00:29:20.930 You don't know what they're facing or what they 00:29:20.930 --> 00:29:25.450 have faced. So just be compassionate. Live with 00:29:25.450 --> 00:29:29.430 love. Thanks again for listening and sharing 00:29:29.430 --> 00:29:31.730 this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow 00:29:31.730 --> 00:29:34.609 or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter 00:29:34.609 --> 00:29:37.759 at roundtriptest .com. If you want to share your 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.200 near -death experience, or if you have questions 00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:42.900 or comments about the show, send an email to 00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:46.380 eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish 00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:48.259 you everything good that you're looking for in 00:29:48.259 --> 00:29:49.920 this life and the next.