From the time that they pronounced me dead was
a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then
they paddled my heart, my heart stopped and I
could see people screaming and crying but I didn't
realize that was actually my physical body because
I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could
feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace,
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was
greeted by people I had known in the past. I'm
back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at
home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody.
And we have a very special guest in her car today.
Thank you for pulling over so you're safe. This
is Chelsea Elizabeth. How are you? I'm doing
well, yes, avoiding the spring breakers who have
launched to our beautiful Florida for the 60
degree windy weather today. If you're in Florida
listening, sorry guys, it's not a beach day.
Well, that doesn't sound all that bad to me right
now being up in the mountains. It's a little
bit colder than that, but enough for the weather
before we jump into your near -death experience.
And I'm going to give it a little tease here.
It has something to do with a great big dog.
It does. Great big dog. Before we jump in there,
tell us who is Chelsea? I am a farm girl from
Tennessee, originally. Know the dialect, did
not leave, but you'll hear it come out quite
often. Grew up, left home, college and... never
really looked back, have been in biotech pharmaceutical
cells, most of, well, all of my career for the
most part, done some consulting here and there
and most recently finished a manuscript which
is in editing and I hope to be published in the
near future. A lot of people that come on have
a book out and I don't mind plugging it just
a little bit, but the plug for you is It's in
development and it's going to be awesome when
it comes out and we don't even know the title
yet, do we? I don't even know the title. The
title has changed so many times. It's going to
be the last piece of the puzzle. I think once
I actually sit down and read my own book again,
decide what the best message is. It started out
very different than what it ended when I handed
it over to the editor. So it's been... an evolution
of sorts that has been very rewarding for me,
very healing in this journey, we'll call it.
Yeah, very therapeutic, I imagine. Yes. Okay,
so everybody in a few months be looking for Chelsea
Elizabeth, the author. Yes. Okay. Yes. I want
to get into it. You are a dog lover. Give us
a little bit of background. What kind of dogs
did you grow up with? So growing up, I was raised
with golden retrievers. And in the backyard,
we had beef cattle. And then along the way, I
would pick up any stray dog, cat, squirrel, you
name it. It came to the farm with me. And animals
were always my happy place. Just when life kind
of got you down, it's just go snuggle with your
pup. Being single, you want to come home and
you've got this tail wagging, somebody excited
to see you. and rescuing, just giving any animal,
even humans, even the chance to thrive. Once
I got my first home, began rescuing, wanted big
dogs. I'm a little person and so started with
Great Danes and fell in love with Abigail the
first one and ever since have been adopting Great
Danes. I currently have Amelia who is my seven
-year -old. and she's a rescue. It was late July,
early August. I adopted another Great Dane, a
male. Had him for a couple of weeks and he snapped
at me, you know, got my arm. I ignored the warning
signs and kept him. And it was a week after that.
It was a Sunday night, beautiful Sunday. August,
hot, humid evening was approaching, probably
five. He snapped. and came at me face on, took
this side of my face forehead over off. I was
able to roll over and he went to town on the
back of my head. I don't know how I got out of
the house. I remember knowing that I had to protect
my neck and so I had one hand over the carotid
artery and I remember looking up and seeing Amelia
in the corner just I remember asking her for
help. And in that moment, looking back, it crushes
me that I asked her for help because she was
helping me by not joining in, by not joining
her pack. She had declared me as a pack and knew
that she could not save me. I somehow made it
out of the house, looking back at the photos.
was a struggle to get out of the house based
on the glass sliders. And my neighbors found
me. I remember the attack. I remember laying
on my patio. I remember sitting in their living
room. And sitting in their living room, I remember
focusing on a light. In focusing on that light,
everything was just bright, kind of an aura.
and noise became white noise and pain didn't
exist. Fear wasn't present. There were what felt
like a very long amount of time that I felt like
I was just kind of floating and everything okay.
It was just magical. It was excruciating pain
to just peace and light and noise that was calming.
I woke up in the ambulance. Now I know there
were only three people in the ambulance, but
to my right there was someone holding my hand.
And I will never, ever forget it because to my
left they were placing IV or whatever they were
doing and I remember looking at that EMS and
I asked her, I said, I'm dying, right? And I
remember to my right going a squeeze and hearing
it's okay, Chelsea. And I knew it was okay. The
ride very uncomfortable, but I had a hand to
hold. I didn't have an out -of -body experience.
I don't know what heaven looks like. I can't
bring any messages back, but I know that heaven
exists because in several moments of that trauma.
there was peace and there was somebody that I
could see holding my right hand in that ambulance.
Any idea who that was? No. No, I actually went
back to the EMS station and talked to them and
asked them, are you sure? Because, you know,
they brought two ambulance. I'm like, are you
sure somebody from the other ambulance didn't
ride? No. No, you only had one person back there.
You know, that's protocol. So, you know, I was
able to share my story with them. But a lot of
things that happened, I had to fact check, because
I forced myself to go back and look at the photos
that the police in Animal Control made. I forced
myself to go through and watch every video. And
everything in my memory is incorrect. Incorrect.
I would have told you it was dark at night. That
was the only light I could see. It wasn't until
I watched the video that I realized it was broad
daylight. I was at the hospital before it was
dark, but in my mind, it was dark and all I had
was that one light. When you say video, was this
like a doorbell camera or what was it? Yes, it
was doorbell cameras and cameras that are in
the front and the back of the house. So every
external exterior camera, it caught it. And so
I saw... And I don't know how I survived. I think
I know why it's becoming a little more clear,
but I should not have survived. I did lose, you
know, I lost my head. So a little wig if it falls
off, my apologies, but my entire scalp, ears,
forehead, neck, shoulder, back, off, gone, nothing.
The plastic surgeons sewed up what would have
been five feet two inches. So five feet two inches
just on shoulder up is what they sewed together
as he wrote as a puzzle piece fitting and pulling
skin just to close the head back up. And then
I was sent to ICU. where they assumed I would
catch infection. I had a clot in the right vertebral
artery, which was very dangerous. I was on Heparin
and around the clock watch. The records were
very hard to read because in the moment you don't
know how bad it is. And it wasn't for a long
time that I realized how bad it was. Let's take
a breath for a second. and explain a couple of
things to the listeners. One is on this podcast,
usually what we're doing is talking to people
that have had a clinical kind of death, left
their body, come back. We don't usually talk
about... Near death in the term of oh, I almost
got hit by a truck today, but I'm fine But yours
was such a horrific thing that happened and you
said you didn't have an out -of -body experience
But it is awfully close or similar or something
spiritual was going on when you talk about the
light and this Being that was holding your hand
and we're gonna come back to a little bit more
of those details the other thing I wanted to
interject here was I've known some great Danes
and they seem to be the most friendly big Lick
your face to death wonderful dogs out there Has
that also been your experience and what do you
think happened with this particular one that
day? That has always been my experience. Every
single grade day, and I've had, count them eight.
Just things that are pocket -paddle size, crawl
up in your lap, lean on you, love you, lick you.
Just follow you everywhere. I've never had to
leash one of mine. They just, they want to touch
you all the time. So they follow you everywhere
you go. I have a son, he's 12 now, when he was
an infant. I had two great tanks. He would roll
all over them, play in the floor. He'd run himself
until he fell over to take a nap. And they would
be on either side guarding him. Abigail would
sleep in front of his door. Yeah, they're just
not aggressive animals at all. And I have to
believe that with this particular one, he was
abandoned and forced to survive. which Great
Danes, the ones I've had, they're not the survivor
type. They're very dependent. And so I think
that he had to fight for his life in the wild.
And for whatever reason, he was triggered by
the dogs in the backfield that day and felt like
he had to do what was necessary to guard his
space and attacking me. He had not been with
me that long, a month. He had just a bad beginning.
And like Amelia, she had a bad beginning. It
took me a year to socialize her. She was scared
of everything. A loud noise. She would run through
the house, pooping, hiding in the closet. And
so that they all come from a different background,
just like humans. And what we have to do to survive,
they have to do too. It wasn't that he wanted
to attack me. It was that that was what he knew.
That was all he knew. I'm glad you cleared that
up because I don't want people to think that
Great Danes are bad, mean, aggressive dogs because
in general they're not. Something with that one
had some kind of a history. and it snapped. Oh
yeah, now adopt another one. I will have to have
another one. So that's not going to hold me back.
I have no fear of dogs. My son loves to go to
animal control and visit all the pups and play
with them. My friend of mine got a brand new
rescue. Let that dog right in my face. So there's
no fear of the animal. It's understanding that
that poor guy had a traumatic start. All right.
Let's talk about what you described as floating
floating. Yeah, it was uh Interesting and it
was I can't tell you how I made it out of the
door and I'm not Positive that I opened the door
because those sliders are quite difficult to
open But I do remember being outside on the patio.
So my brain skips between being inside and hearing
teeth against my skull to laying outside. I didn't
know what to do. I sat. And when I sat is when
I just felt light, like I was just floating.
And that's when there was the light. I remember
standing up. And again, I don't feel my feet
on the pavement, but I remember standing up.
It's just a light. feeling almost as if you're
suspended in water. Somebody's turned the lights
out and all you can see is the pole light right
there in front of you. That's the closest thing
I can compare it to. And the noise is just white
noise. It's just noise, not scary, not harps
playing, but just noise, just static. And there's
nothing scary to look at. And that's what I remember.
And I remember seeing the same thing when I was
sitting in my neighbor's house in their living
room, just focusing on that light and that noise.
I remember not really being able to hold my head
up and just feeling like I was melting. You also
used the word peace. When did you feel that?
When I made it outside, when I remember waking
up outside, it was peace. I have no memory or
sensation of pain from the point that I was sitting
outside until I woke up in the ambulance. No
pain, no fear. So the emotions of peace and fear
are very opposite, right? Most people would be
so struck with fear at that point. That would
be a normal human reaction, I would believe,
wouldn't it? Yes, and I remember the point of
fear and that level of Knowing you're dying is
nothing that can be placed into the English language,
any language in words. There's nothing more terrifying
than knowing you're dying and feeling yourself
dying and knowing that you didn't get to say
goodbye and that this is it. This is it. And
this was only about a year and a half ago. So
I think you're still processing some of it. whether
you left your body or not, something spiritual
happened. And I wish you could think of more
about what kind of whoever was holding your hand
in the ambulance, because I'd love to drill down
on that, but you don't have any other memory,
do you? You know, I've tried. I even tried hypnosis
so that I could see her face. I recognize the
voice. That's what's interesting is I know the
voice. And I've told my therapist, I know the
voice. I've got to know who it is. And I said,
if I heard it again, I would recognize the voice.
But you know it's female. I do. It's definitely
a female. And what did she say exactly to you?
You're not going to die. It's not time yet. It's
going to be OK. It's going to hurt. It's going
to be OK. We're here. I'm not leaving you. kept
hearing over and over, I'm not leaving you, you're
not dying. I'm not leaving you, you're not dying.
You've got more to do was one of the takeaways.
You've got more to do. I'm like, how am I going
to be able to do anything? I feel what's going
on. By that time, you have the wherewithal to
know that where you're going, you're not going
to get to leave any time soon. That was a very
hard reality. knowing that I don't know when
I'm coming back home and not knowing I was angry
because I'm like, I just want to go back there,
back there. No, we can't go back there. You're
not ready. You can't go back. You know, I was
so angry for the longest time that I could not
go back. And you'd look after an experience like
that and you're in this place of peace and happiness
and The world isn't so heavy on your shoulders,
and you can't go back. You have to stay here.
That's the hardest thing. Dying isn't scary.
Death is not scary. It's beautiful. It's so peaceful.
Living is the scary part, and you want to go
back to that light. You want to go and see, you
want more of that light, you want more of that
noise, you want more of that experience. Is that
the end of the experience or is there something
else that you remember? I remember being in the
living room knowing that I had to guard my neck
and I had to get the focus off of what was going
on and have a reason to just fight. You think
of any other reason to get back up, keep pushing
and By that time, I had lost a lot of blood.
But I remember almost like a slideshow or a movie,
a video of my childhood and me and my dad outside
by the pool just as it was placed in. And I remember
his swimsuit. I remember what the ground looked
like. It was still red mud. There was no concrete.
And I remember jumping in the water with him.
And that's what death felt like. Just jumping
in the water and being done and just that exhilaration
flowing through your body. And I remember the
same thing being at the beach with him and him
letting me ride the waves as a little one and
just feeling that experience. And I can tell
you the color of his swimsuit, it was yellow.
And the other one was orange. I'm way too short,
but I remember those childhood moments and being
at home, laying on Daisy, our first dog, and
playing with her little puppies. And that's where
I went in that moment, and I just had to get
back to them. I had to get back to that, but
that place to me in that moment was that light.
Because that's what I saw. I had to get back
to those memories and to that happiness and to
that peace. I didn't want to wake back up where
I was. I didn't want to face what was coming.
I wanted to go back to that. And it was very
hard. And that's where the anger came in, is
why do I have to come back to this? And so that's
been the... Obviously, the most emotional part
for me is I can't go back there yet. But my childhood,
beautiful memories that were just the time I
had and the time I will have with my parents.
But I had never before remembered any of that.
I was far too young. When I fact checked with
my mom, it was correct. I remembered it correctly,
colors and all. And these are times from when
you were a baby or a very young child? Yep, nine
months, nine months roughly. Six, nine months.
How has all of this changed your life? You're
a different person. I am. I am a very different
person. Family's first. Work's second. Money,
you really, when you're laying there, it doesn't
matter. I have always been one that worked never.
cared about taking a vacation. I was going to
cash in on the vacation. Now I take the vacation.
When I finally was well enough, well, prior,
my parents came to see me after I was out of
the hospital. I was in that angry phase of things.
And it wasn't until they'd left that I realized
how much I needed them. And I think the second
they pulled out of my driveway, I... I packed
my suitcase, put Amelia in the car, and we went
home for what was going to be a week. It ended
up being four months. And I just stayed. I was
with my mom, my dad, my aunts, my uncles, my
cousins. That was very healing for me. Just being
around the people you love and not worrying about
anything else. Not worrying about status quo's
or... societal opinions or how much money's in
the bank. Just spending the moments with the
people you love and just having those hugs and
those conversations. I would not change a single
day of that four months. I just wish I could
have extended it even more. Priorities certainly
shift when you wake up. What mattered before
doesn't matter anymore. I don't have anybody
to impress. I don't have any kind of legacy,
anything to leave, other than every day I encounter
an angel. That's one day they take the shovel
out of my hand, and that's what I say. You know,
God, if I've got to live here, put an angel in
front of me that takes the shovel, because I
want to dig my own grave. And He's done that.
He's done that every day in the most unsuspecting
places. somebody comes by and takes the shovel
out of my hand. That's all we can do is take
it day by day. That's beautiful. Last thing,
any advice for someone that has just been going
through a really difficult, really difficult
something, whether it's a regular trial or something
hugely physical as well as emotional? Feel. Feel.
If you're mad, be mad. If you're sad, cry. If
you're hurt, Be hurt. Don't pretend you're something
that you're not because that's what I did and
it nearly killed me. Pretending I'm happy, pretending
I'm well, pretending I'm okay when I wasn't.
Live your truth. Hurt. Feel. Cry. Do it in public.
Because until you feel, you don't know why you
feel. You don't know what's behind it. There's
so much emotion. For me, there was so much emotion
that I didn't know what was behind it. There
was more. I wasn't mad at the dog. I wasn't mad
at anybody. I was just mad. When I finally was
able to work the anger out, I was able to cry.
And I'm not a crier. The fact that I cried on
this podcast is pretty remarkable. That's a huge
hurdle that I jumped. I don't cry. And I've learned
to cry. And I've learned to be sad. And I've
learned to find the emotion that's real. That's
the book. It took a turn because where I started
wasn't where I ended up. The message changed
completely as I understood myself. And the most
difficult part to understand is that while I'm
living, breathing, and seeing myself in a mirror,
I've got to grieve my own death because the life
I had before is gone. Those people that were
there before, their life went on. While I was
in the hospital, while I was in wound care, they
kept living. And I can't pick back up six months
later and expect everything to be the same. My
life stopped. Theirs went on. And I've got to
grieve the death of that life. And when you go
through anything traumatic, you're not supposed
to be the same. You're not supposed to come out
the same on the other side. It's impossible.
You're different. Time does not heal those wounds.
You can't sit there and wait for life to go back
to the way it is. Time changes you. Time doesn't
heal. It just changes you. And you have to embrace
that. And if it's been five years, 15 years,
50 years ago, and you're still sad, you're still
struggling, good. That was important to you.
You should still be sad. You should still feel
the love that was. We're not supposed to just
turn off human emotion and move on like nothing
happened. We're supposed to remember what was,
embrace it, love it, feel what was, and make
today better because of it. We're not supposed
to leave it behind, close the book, and move
on. And I'm so sick of people saying, just get
over it. No, no, don't just get over it. That's
not love. You don't just get over the love you
have for yourself or for the loved one that you
lost or the friends, the boyfriend, the dog.
I still cry now over my first Great Day Napgal.
It's time to normalize pain. It's time to say
it's okay to cry in public. It's okay to voice.
It's okay. You're stronger. If you're not okay,
then if you run around pretending you're okay,
you can't do it. And you should be able to talk
about it whenever, however you want to. And if
nobody will listen to you, I will. I'll listen.
I'll give your phone number out to everybody.
I'm kidding. I would not do that. But Chelsea,
you are a strong person and thank you so much
for sharing all of this with us today. I hope
that. I hope there's one person out there that
just needs to know it's okay to be sad. It's
okay to be sad. It is. We grow from those normal
human emotions and we evolve. And I today am
much more compassionate and empathetic to anyone
and everyone that I encounter because you just
don't know what kind of day they've had. We hear
it all the time, but... Take that seriously.
You don't know what they're facing or what they
have faced. So just be compassionate. Live with
love. Thanks again for listening and sharing
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter
at roundtriptest .com. If you want to share your
near -death experience, or if you have questions
or comments about the show, send an email to
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish
you everything good that you're looking for in
this life and the next.