1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,400 From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes. 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:13,440 They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:18,120 And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my 4 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,320 physical body because I was somewhere else. 5 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:27,400 The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,400 anything else to be felt. 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,560 I was greeted by people I'd known in the past. 8 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,240 I'm back home again. 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:39,400 Incredibly safe and felt at home. 10 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,840 Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody. 11 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:46,440 And I'd like to welcome our special guest today, Lena Zafari. 12 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,440 Zafari. 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,520 How close am I? 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,520 Very close. 15 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,520 Almost perfect. 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,520 Zafari. 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,520 Okay, with a Z, Zafari. 18 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,520 I like that. 19 00:00:55,520 --> 00:01:00,640 All right, hey, you know, we are going to jump right into your near-death experience in 20 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,200 just a second. 21 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,200 Okay. 22 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,000 First, I have a couple of questions. 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,120 I would love our listeners to get to know you a little bit. 24 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,400 Can you take just one minute and tell us who Lena is? 25 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,520 Do you want to know who Lena is today? 26 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,520 Sure. 27 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,680 And if your background has something to do with that, you can tell us a little bit about 28 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,160 your background as well. 29 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:28,640 Well, I'm very much, I consider myself very much the same person I've always been in a 30 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:35,680 weirdest way, but just not much outside of my life has changed, but a lot of my inside 31 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,440 has changed, meaning I'm pretty much a regular person. 32 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,080 I am a mother of three young children. 33 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,200 I am, you know, surrounded by family and friends. 34 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,920 I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. 35 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,440 I am into healing and wellness. 36 00:01:51,440 --> 00:02:00,840 I have a nonprofit that I'm passionate about, that I dedicate a lot of my time into, and 37 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:06,120 that has to do with actually what we're going to be talking about, which is near-death experiences. 38 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:13,640 So I am, you know, I'm busy doing everything everybody else is doing, so I'm just a normal 39 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:14,640 person. 40 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:15,640 Good. 41 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:19,560 I don't know if that really answers your question, but I don't know how else to look 42 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,480 at myself because there's so many different layers, you know? 43 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,280 I know, and I didn't give you an hour to explain yourself. 44 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,640 And so you had to just stick with one layer. 45 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:37,720 I first heard about you the other day because you were doing a presentation for an IONS 46 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:38,920 group. 47 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:45,120 And I just loved the title of it, which was, NDEs happen whether you understand them or 48 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,120 not. 49 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,120 Yeah. 50 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,440 And I'm going to add to that, whether you believe them or not, or believe in them or 51 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,600 not, what does that mean? 52 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,880 That they happen whether you know them or believe them or not? 53 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,880 Yeah. 54 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:02,840 The fact that NDEs happen whether you understand them or not, what does that mean? 55 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,600 It's exactly that. 56 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:13,080 It's something that happens to a certain percentage of people or for whatever reason, 57 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,360 whether we know about it or not, it just happens. 58 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:21,840 Life happens and we are put into certain situations or circumstances. 59 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:31,200 And then we have an experience that completely changes everything about us and what we look 60 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,320 at life. 61 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:38,520 And it has after effects and things happen. 62 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,520 So whether you understand it or not, you're still going to be put into the washer and 63 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,520 the cycle. 64 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:50,280 You're still going to go through what people go through having an experience like that. 65 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,640 And people that have had an experience often don't even understand it themselves. 66 00:03:55,640 --> 00:04:02,600 And it can take years to figure it out and to realize, wow, did this really happen? 67 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,520 And what did it really mean? 68 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,160 And why did it happen to me? 69 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,040 And all these other questions seem to come up. 70 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,040 Absolutely. 71 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,040 Yeah. 72 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:16,560 And that is literally the title of my webinar talk that I did the other night for IYENS 73 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:25,600 is like, it was so fitting, meaning literally I am a living example of that sentence. 74 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,600 I mean, NDE's happened, whether you know about them or not, or whether you believe them or 75 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,600 not. 76 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:31,720 I knew nothing of them. 77 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:38,440 I had no belief one way or another way to have, you know, to make a decision. 78 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:43,680 And I walked around, well, it turns out I had an NDE at birth. 79 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:52,720 So I've been living the after effects of an NDE all my life without knowing it or realizing 80 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:53,720 it. 81 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,440 And then when it happened the second time, I still didn't know about it. 82 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:02,560 And all of what I was going through all my life just got bumped up and were amplified 83 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,280 and I still didn't know. 84 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:12,880 And then, you know, eventually, you know, when the change is drastic enough or big enough, 85 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:18,640 or I guess in my case, since I wasn't getting the hints from the universe, I kind of got 86 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:23,920 slapped around a few times until I woke up and I realized, okay, hold on, something happened, 87 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:24,920 what happened? 88 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,720 I know what happened, something happened, but what does it mean? 89 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:33,680 So I figured it out and then I realized what happened to me, which was an NDE. 90 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,560 So yeah, whether you believe it or know about it, it happens. 91 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:42,880 But we end up figuring it out because there's such a big impact it has on us. 92 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:49,560 Do you ever run into some of the skeptics that say, oh, it's just a chemical reaction 93 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:56,960 that happens when your heart stops or something else, this chemical reaction in your brain? 94 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:01,680 First of all, have you ever wondered, is that maybe just what happened to me? 95 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,800 And what do you have to say to those people? 96 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,600 Well, the answer to the question, have I met those people? 97 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 Absolutely. 98 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:18,680 Well, what I say to it is, is I know without words or without anything, the realness of 99 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,240 what occurred. 100 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:24,200 It's like, if somebody asks me tomorrow, did you really sit down with Eric Bennett and 101 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,200 have a conversation? 102 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,200 Did it happen? 103 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,200 Yes, it happened. 104 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,160 You know, there's no, let me see. 105 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,720 I wonder, you know, it happened. 106 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,120 That experience happened just like this is happening. 107 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,120 Exactly. 108 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,120 And then there are people who don't, who listen, who don't believe and who literally 109 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,800 say those things. 110 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:47,120 And I can understand now, their perspective. 111 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,240 You can't see above something that you haven't seen. 112 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,640 So naturally, that is, you know, what you go to. 113 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,520 So I don't blame them for saying that. 114 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:01,240 But yeah, people do say that in it, on my end, it hurts. 115 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,240 Sure. 116 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,240 Yeah, they're just not believing you. 117 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:09,440 Yeah, because it's not just a matter of, well, I wonder how, but they're like, no, you're 118 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,440 crazy. 119 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,440 That couldn't have happened. 120 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,800 You're just, you're just, you just don't know. 121 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:18,320 It was the medic, it was the reaction of the medication or you're hallucinating or whatever, 122 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,560 they get out of the story that they just heard. 123 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,480 So it's kind of, you know, judgmental. 124 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:30,960 Let's go back 10 years, okay, when you did have this experience and wow, it sounded like 125 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,120 physically you were in a very unpleasant place. 126 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,880 Tell us what was going on. 127 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:41,240 What do you mean I was in a physically bad place because, well, you were very sick. 128 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,240 Yeah. 129 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,480 It's so funny. 130 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,640 It's, yes, I was, I was very sick. 131 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:47,800 I was very ill. 132 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:56,080 I was in the hospital, but I really don't have conscious memory of anything other than 133 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:01,200 what, where my focus and attention was and what I wanted, which was to get out and go 134 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:06,120 home and the actual near death experience that happened. 135 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,880 It's like that memory surpasses, supersedes anything else that could have happened. 136 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:17,600 So I don't have much, too much memory of being in a bad, uncomfortable state. 137 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,200 But you were very sick. 138 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,480 Would you mind telling us what was going on? 139 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,960 Yeah, absolutely. 140 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:34,440 So I was very healthy, strong person, no medication, no illnesses, nothing, just healthy and vibrant 141 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,440 as can be. 142 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,440 You know, I had two kids. 143 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:41,560 I had a 18 month old nursing child and I've almost a five year old child. 144 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,480 So I was a healthy individual. 145 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,680 I was on vacation. 146 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:51,840 I caught a cold, my cold felt different than normal colds and I was having a hard time 147 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,840 breathing. 148 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,880 It was taking a breath hurt. 149 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,320 It was almost like I couldn't take a breath. 150 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:01,320 I call it now intuition or whatever you want to call it a voice. 151 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,360 I had the sense that I needed to go to the hospital and get checked out. 152 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:14,640 So it just ended up being 10 days in the hospital and the cold turned into the H1. 153 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:22,200 And one virus, which is pretty much very much like COVID, it attacked the respiratory. 154 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:28,920 Now I was in the hospital for nine, those nine days, so I don't have memory of conversations 155 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:29,920 or anything. 156 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:34,440 I was in ICU for five of those days knocked out. 157 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,600 So I can tell you about what was told to me that was wrong with me and some of the things 158 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,040 that happened while I was there. 159 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:50,320 But as far as my own memory, the only memory I have of my time in the hospital was realizing 160 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:56,080 I was in the hospital and then begging and demanding and asking to go home. 161 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,080 Like I'm fine. 162 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,080 Let's me go home. 163 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,480 My kids are writing. 164 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,480 I'm fine. 165 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,480 Like I was just pleading. 166 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,080 That's all I remember. 167 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:07,440 And then I don't remember anything else and I don't know if that's all that's the only 168 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,280 memory I have. 169 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,880 Except for your near death experience. 170 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,800 And that is like, yeah, that is full. 171 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Yes. 172 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,960 Do you have any idea what point in the hospital that that happened to you? 173 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,360 And tell it, go ahead and jump in. 174 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,360 Tell us what happened. 175 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,960 What do you remember of it? 176 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:30,520 Well, I do remember being in the hospital, in the regular hospital room. 177 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:38,720 And then I do also remember waking up many times in the ICU room. 178 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:45,320 I was in a fairly light white room ICU, small room. 179 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:51,400 I must have woken up many times or was aware or awake or conscious enough to memorize this 180 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,400 room. 181 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:59,360 But apparently after the fifth day of being in the ICU, the news that my father and my 182 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:08,200 then husband received at the moment was that they needed to prepare for, you know, for 183 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,920 my departure, basically, you know, that I was not responding to anything. 184 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:18,680 And I was unable to breathe on my own because both of my lungs had shut down at that point. 185 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,320 And there was nothing they could do for me because they're both gone. 186 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:23,400 No lungs. 187 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,560 So I was in that kind of a state physically. 188 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:32,920 But when the near death happened, at that moment, it was literally like all of a sudden, 189 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:37,520 like, you know, like a scene in the movie, we were just, I just woke up. 190 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,880 I just got up. 191 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:44,960 I got up and I sat up and just like I'm looking at you, I woke up and I looked, I looked around 192 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,040 and I realized it was in the ICU room. 193 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,960 I knew where I was. 194 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:55,680 And then as I'm looking around, I looked to my right and I noticed that I'm sitting, 195 00:11:55,680 --> 00:12:01,080 I'm in the ICU room and I'm sitting at the edge of the bed that I was late that, you 196 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,040 know, I'm sitting at the edge of the bed, the hospital bed. 197 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:10,680 So as I look to my right, I see that my physical body is still laying there, propped up, but 198 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,040 laying there. 199 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,920 But there's no kind of like, oh no, what's wrong. 200 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,080 It was just like, oh, there's my body. 201 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,640 It was very much like, I'm here. 202 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,640 That's just my clothes. 203 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,080 It's like, that's my body. 204 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:28,600 That was the, that was a depth of connection or anything that was just that. 205 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,880 At this point, I'm looking and I'm very much aware of, you know, where I'm at and I'm 206 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,960 seeing my body. 207 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,720 And then all of a sudden I hear, like, as if it's coming in front of me, I'm aware of 208 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,760 just this light in the room. 209 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,640 But there's also this voice. 210 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:50,400 There's this voice that speaks and the voice is, it's kind, but it's stern and but it's 211 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,400 maternal. 212 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:56,280 It's a, it's a woman voice very much kind of like the way I'm speaking. 213 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,960 And the voice talks to me kind of like, Lena, you need to go back. 214 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,520 The kids are waiting for you. 215 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,960 You need to go back, but you need to make the decision. 216 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,880 Like you need to decide. 217 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,120 I don't quite get that. 218 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,960 You're being told what you need to do. 219 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,520 Oh, but you get to make the decision. 220 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,920 Do you feel like you really had a decision? 221 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,400 I wasn't thinking at that point. 222 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:26,000 I'm literally in observing as I'm looking at my body. 223 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,360 You have to understand what this happens. 224 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,560 It's like, it's almost like looking at the picture, right? 225 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,040 You can look at a picture. 226 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:39,400 You can decide to look at your at the mountain peak and describe the mountain or to the rough, 227 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:43,640 the bottom where the ocean is and describe the ocean or the animals that's there, wherever 228 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,920 you put your eye in that image, you can kind of, you know, tell a story from the picture. 229 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,800 Well, the NDE is very much like that. 230 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:57,200 I could tell you how it started in the flow of it, but at the same time, everything happens 231 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,680 almost like at the same time. 232 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:04,960 So as I, as I wake up and I realize and I'm looking at my body, I'm also having a full 233 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:10,720 awareness of where I'm at, but I'm also looking down at myself and I look down at my own body 234 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,160 where I'm at. 235 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:20,160 I am completely clear, kind of like a glass or a clear bottle with, you know, glass bottle. 236 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:26,800 I'm literally like glass and I can see the shape of my legs, my thighs. 237 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:31,320 My hands and I can see right through them. 238 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,320 They're clear. 239 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,960 And I'm just like, okay, so I had this awareness that I was clear. 240 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:42,960 That's when kind of like, I'm also looking and listening to this voice talk to me saying, 241 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,920 Lena, you need to go back and, you know, it's your decision. 242 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:54,840 So as, as I'm listening to that, I'm also still like looking around and observing my 243 00:14:54,840 --> 00:15:03,680 environment and as I'm looking to, to the left of me, I noticed that I see my children. 244 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:08,480 I see my son and I see my daughter at the age they were, they were at the time, which 245 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:13,720 was, you know, like five year old son and my daughter was like 18 months old. 246 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:19,160 So little and they were both just kind of like sitting there or in that, like right 247 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,080 there in that space. 248 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,800 And something happened. 249 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:31,120 The moment I saw them, it was almost like, you know, the light in the room just got brighter. 250 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:36,480 Everything in, you know, like lighter and more fresher and more like, I felt this. 251 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:41,040 It's almost like the sun coming out, but it's already out, but it's coming out more. 252 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:50,440 It's this feeling of love and the way that I can describe that feeling here on earth is 253 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:56,280 for me as a mother, I spent my whole life thinking I couldn't have kids. 254 00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:04,640 So when I did have children, when I did become a mother, I was very much of a, like a mom 255 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,200 who was holding a miracle every time. 256 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:11,800 Like every time I got to nurse my son and or my daughter, I, for me, I would have like 257 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,240 oxytocin release and I would just be, I would feel euphoria. 258 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,160 And I even asked my doctor or other moms and people about it and they're like, yeah, well, 259 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:26,120 this oxytocin release, you know, that's the bonding molecules when you're nursing. 260 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:31,800 But for me, it was very, very amplified, but in my near death experience, it was that 261 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,240 even more amplified. 262 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,720 That's a good explanation that I have not heard before. 263 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:42,720 And I've heard all kinds of explanations because I tell people, explain that love that you 264 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,720 felt. 265 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,720 Yeah. 266 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,840 And men can't really relate to this one, but. 267 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:54,120 I don't think I've really ever fully described it with those two things together like that. 268 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,200 But this is really, really how I felt. 269 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:07,200 I'm just like, I get such intense love that it's just, I get tears, I get oxytocin release, 270 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,480 I can taste it. 271 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,600 It's a physical reaction. 272 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,440 And I thought that was normal to everybody. 273 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,120 I don't know. 274 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,360 Well, I, how do I put this? 275 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:24,560 The physical reaction is an interesting way of explaining an emotion here. 276 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,760 It's very unusual. 277 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,760 Okay. 278 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,640 All right, keep going. 279 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,720 Okay. 280 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,160 So back to my NDE, right? 281 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,160 Like. 282 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,160 Yes. 283 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,160 Yeah. 284 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,160 Tell me what else happened. 285 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:43,400 I'm showing my children and I'm just like, ah, you know, like I'm in, I'm happy and I feel 286 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,000 love and joy and all of what people talk about. 287 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,800 I'm like that. 288 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:53,080 And then I also have this awareness that now, even though I'm in the room, it's like almost 289 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:58,400 like the white walls in the room on the side have disappeared and I'm out in space and I 290 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:04,000 can see in the darkness, but in the darkness I can see. 291 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,760 It's not like dark that I can't see what's in there. 292 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,960 I can see what's in the darkness. 293 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:15,320 And what I see in the darkness is people sitting like rows and rows of people sitting and they're 294 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,960 all facing me and they're all looking at me. 295 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:26,080 And then I have, I want to call it an understanding or a knowing or an awareness that these are 296 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:33,400 the people that are still here on earth, the people, their family and friends. 297 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,400 That's interesting. 298 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:41,080 So, so you're out of your body, but what you're seeing is people that are here, not people 299 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,480 that are passed on already. 300 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:53,880 No, I never saw or spoke to any entity, spirit, nothing throughout any of my experiences. 301 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:59,120 But in my MDE, I saw people in my life here. 302 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:05,280 But it's interesting because I could see their silhouette, I could see their, their shadow, 303 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,760 but I couldn't see them like the way I'm looking at you, you're wearing a blue shirt 304 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,200 and I can see your face. 305 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:15,040 I could see your shadow, but I couldn't see you like I could see the entire shadow of 306 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,040 you looking. 307 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:22,440 So, as I'm looking at these, each person that I look at as I, as I look like I'm looking 308 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:30,520 at you right now, as I look at each individual person, that individual person rises and then 309 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,440 it comes closer, right? 310 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:40,360 And as they come closer, I'm looking at them as I'm looking at them that they turn into 311 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:43,160 kind of like the flame of a candle. 312 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,840 So if you were to hold up a candle and just look at the flame, everybody that I would 313 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:55,080 look at, they would just kind of rise up and come close so I can almost see, but except 314 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,840 I couldn't see them, all I saw was the light that they emitted. 315 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,480 So I did that to several different people. 316 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:07,560 Now, I didn't know who they were because I was trying to look at, see who they were, 317 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,560 but every person I looked at would rise up and be light. 318 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:17,400 I don't, I couldn't hear their prayers, but I knew they were praying for me. 319 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:23,080 So I don't know what they were praying or what they were saying, but I could feel, feel 320 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,720 them and I could feel their prayers for me. 321 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:32,920 And that again, caused this like, it's almost like this expansion of my heart. 322 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:39,880 Like I was like, you know, like happy, like, oh, you guys were praying for me, you know, 323 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,320 I had that a moment. 324 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,320 So. 325 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:48,120 I think this was sort of a reflection of real people here on earth that actually were praying 326 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:52,520 for you at that time and you were sort of seeing what was going on with them. 327 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,920 Oh, absolutely. 328 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,920 Yeah. 329 00:20:54,920 --> 00:21:00,440 What do you make of the fact that they turned into a flame that could be interpreted as something 330 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,200 negative or something positive? 331 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:09,520 That's very interesting that you say that because up until now, I never thought of it 332 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,400 being looked at in any way negative. 333 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:20,880 I always saw it as positive because for me in my mind, what I see is the love which and 334 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:27,000 gratitude with, with which I look at ignites the light within. 335 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,760 That's what it means to me. 336 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:37,240 To me, it means that, you know, the eye that was looking through was not just Lena, because 337 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:41,280 Lena was laying in the bed also, but I was also me, but it was also the clear me, the 338 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,280 spirit me. 339 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,880 So it's almost like that's me. 340 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:52,000 When that me looked in gratitude, right, and looked with love for people who are praying 341 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,560 for me, you know, and that turned them into light. 342 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,080 So light is God, light is frequent. 343 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,120 Yeah, that's super positive. 344 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,520 That's a good explanation. 345 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,520 Thank you. 346 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:03,520 Yeah. 347 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,520 Okay. 348 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,520 Anything else? 349 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:13,760 The interesting thing is that's where everything just almost kind of like disconnects the lights 350 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:14,760 went out. 351 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,000 So it's almost like somebody just turned off the TV and the movie ended. 352 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000 Boom. 353 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000 Everything just stopped. 354 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:25,160 And at that moment, I was back in my body. 355 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:31,440 And it's funny because just the other day when I was doing my talk for Irons and I was 356 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:38,240 asked and I was, this was a part that was asked really, it was, how did I come back into my 357 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,680 body? 358 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,840 I have no clue how I came back into my body. 359 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,560 I have no memory of it. 360 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,600 In fact, I don't even remember waking up in my body. 361 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:57,200 I didn't even know that I was, there was no memory of it. 362 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,760 And that's very normal. 363 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:05,000 Some people are that way, but some people do remember how they came into their body. 364 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,840 And that's okay that you don't. 365 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,640 You know, mine is very interesting. 366 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:15,840 It turns out is because I get that you can forget and I don't remember and I don't remember. 367 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:23,520 But the thing is, is that what I find interesting in this, which I still haven't really figured 368 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:31,040 out is I came back into my body and I physically woke up in the hospital. 369 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,120 Like I must have at some point opened my eyes. 370 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:38,080 At some point I must have moved my physical body. 371 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,120 At some point I must have sat up. 372 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:44,160 At some point I had a conversation, right? 373 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,880 I don't remember any of those. 374 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:56,000 So fast forward to about two years ago, maybe a year and a half ago, for the first time 375 00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:03,000 I actually asked my then husband, hey, what do you remember from the time I was in the 376 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,000 hospital? 377 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000 What happened to me? 378 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,400 What's your take on it? 379 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,400 And of course, he sends me pictures. 380 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:15,840 And one of the pictures he sends me is a picture of me sitting in the hospital bed and I'm 381 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:22,160 eating a burger, a big burger and I have a drink, rice and I'm literally just chomping 382 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,200 away and I'm eating. 383 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:32,520 And this happened hours after I woke up from the ICU with two expired lungs. 384 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,000 And I have no memory of it. 385 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,440 But there's a picture of me. 386 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,680 There's a picture of me sitting and eating a burger, time and date stamp that happened, 387 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,440 but I have no memory of it. 388 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:52,840 So it's strange that I never, it took me another 45 years, I think, four years, 2014, almost 389 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,280 2019. 390 00:24:54,280 --> 00:25:00,240 It took me another four or five years to realize that, oh, I had a near death experience that's 391 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:08,560 called an NDE and this is, that's what it was. 392 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,000 Quick break with a shout out to our sponsor, Smart Labels. 393 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,280 If you're into spring cleaning mode, it's time to get organized. 394 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,400 Your future self is going to love you for it. 395 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,400 Here's how it works. 396 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:24,840 Buy the QR code, Smart Labels on Amazon and stick them on your storage bins. 397 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:29,840 Download their app, then scan the QR code and catalog all the stuff going into the bin 398 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,960 with a name, description and even a picture if you want. 399 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,480 Down the road when you're looking for that thing that you know you stored somewhere, 400 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,880 you can just search in the app and it'll tell you where you put it. 401 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,360 It's organizing magic. 402 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:48,960 Get organized, get on over to Amazon and get your Smart Labels pack today. 403 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,600 Now, back to the interview. 404 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:58,880 You had mentioned to me also that about three years after this, you had some other kind of 405 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,680 experience. 406 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,240 You want to explain that quickly? 407 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,240 Yeah. 408 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:13,040 I had what they call a spiritually transformative experience and basically it's exactly what 409 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,040 that is. 410 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:20,120 It's you have a spiritual experience that is so transformative that it just knocks your 411 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,160 socks off. 412 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:26,240 It was just an experience. 413 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:35,400 The way I described the experience was a continuation of my near-death experience. 414 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:36,640 How so? 415 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,360 Did you see some of the same things? 416 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,240 Did you feel like you were out of your body? 417 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,480 What do you mean? 418 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:49,880 My spiritually transformative experience, yes, I was out of body and I actually experienced 419 00:26:49,880 --> 00:27:00,160 a lot of the near-death experiences, like in my near-death experience, I did not see or 420 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,720 go through a tunnel. 421 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,960 I did not have a life review. 422 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:14,000 I did not have ancestors or any entities, whether it was spiritual healers or masters 423 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,000 or anybody. 424 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,120 None of them visited me or interacted with me or communicated with me. 425 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:26,080 There was no humanly conversation with anything other than me in divine, energy, light. 426 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,120 It was all done without words. 427 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,960 What kinds of things were communicated? 428 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:33,960 What did you learn? 429 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:40,920 One of the things that was communicated with me was the micro and macro of the universe, 430 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:45,280 meaning everything in life has a micro and macro. 431 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:51,880 Everything can be divided down to a single atom. 432 00:27:51,880 --> 00:28:01,080 Everything can be brought back to the same microness or the smallness of an atom. 433 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:07,440 And from one atom can grow a pine tree or a full human. 434 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:13,440 It's kind of like the micro and macro of everything, the life cycle of everything. 435 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:20,320 I was shown the micro and macro of everything almost kind of like a movie screen in front 436 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:27,520 of me, where I saw the presence of Earth in front of me. 437 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:34,560 And in that space, kind of like a movie screen, I was shown a tree, a full like, at the time 438 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:39,760 I had no language for this, because at the time of these experiences, not only did I 439 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:46,040 not know that I did what an NDE was or near death experience or spiritually transformative 440 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,160 experience, I didn't even have the basics. 441 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,840 Like I never heard of the word meditation. 442 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:53,920 This was in 2017. 443 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,720 There was a lot of people meditating. 444 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,240 What was just invented the year before? 445 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,240 So it's okay. 446 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,240 I know. 447 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,240 I don't know. 448 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,680 I've never heard of the word chakras. 449 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:09,080 I'd never heard of the word spiritual this or that. 450 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:16,280 I came from a very religious Islamic point of view. 451 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:27,160 I had that was my viewpoint in life, not any other or spirituality or anything. 452 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,400 But I was always very spiritual because I never connected with religion. 453 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,360 I always knew there was something outside of religion. 454 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:40,600 And I could always see that religion, even as a child in my mind, my religion always 455 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:48,320 seemed like something in front of me almost kind of like a box with sites and walls and 456 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:52,760 corners and inside of it parameters. 457 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,240 And I always saw myself as lines. 458 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,160 And I always wanted to move the lines or question the lines. 459 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,800 And that was my view. 460 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:06,240 So when I had these experiences and these downloads and these visions in this spiritually 461 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:11,480 transformative experience, it was kind of like a child sitting in college and listening 462 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,480 to things. 463 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:13,880 I had no idea, but I could see everything. 464 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,640 I could hear everything, but everything was being shown to me. 465 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,680 A lot of learning happening. 466 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:20,680 Yeah. 467 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,360 Well, let me go back a little bit further. 468 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:28,920 During your NDE, you mentioned this voice and you said that it sounded female. 469 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,440 Tell me who you think that was. 470 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,240 I don't know. 471 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:39,360 Sometimes I think it's also, sometimes I think it's in my own maternal voice, you know, because 472 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,960 I also have that sternness and need. 473 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,520 I've learned to be able to be nice and be like, listen, this is what needs to be done. 474 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:48,520 Let's go. 475 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,440 I have a little bit of that in me too. 476 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,760 Back then, I didn't really express it as much. 477 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,280 It was more of a people pleaser and it was like, okay, you know, whereas now that part 478 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,480 of me, I'm recognizing that. 479 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,720 So I don't know who that was. 480 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,240 I don't know. 481 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,240 Okay. 482 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,800 You keep thinking about that and report back to me later. 483 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,840 I'll call you when I figure it out. 484 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,000 I think you're going to have some ideas down the road at some point. 485 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,560 I think so. 486 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:17,920 All right. 487 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:22,640 How long was it after you had your NDE before you talked about it to people? 488 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,840 I tried to talk to people right away. 489 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,160 How did that go? 490 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,160 Not good. 491 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,480 So did you kind of stuff it away for a while? 492 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,480 Yeah. 493 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:42,840 You know, to be honest with you, the NDE, the NDE didn't do change me as much. 494 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:49,640 It just amplified who I was so I consciously couldn't see the difference in me. 495 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:58,240 But three years later, when I had the spiritually transformative experience, that experience really 496 00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,960 shook me. 497 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:07,520 It really, it was almost kind of like, I see a lot of things in cartoonish images in my 498 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,520 mind. 499 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,520 It's so weird. 500 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,320 It's like you're picking me up and going, wake up. 501 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:17,600 You know, like even though all this was happening to me, I didn't know. 502 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,400 I didn't know what I didn't know, so I couldn't put words to it. 503 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:29,040 So the spiritually transformative experience caused enough of a vibrational jolt in me 504 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,040 that made me start asking some real questions. 505 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,960 And then when did you start talking about all of it? 506 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,080 We are when 2024. 507 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,080 Yeah. 508 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:51,840 So in the past, I want to say, in the past two years is really when my experiences have 509 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:58,360 been mentally processed by myself in little pieces to where as they make sense, I'm like, 510 00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,520 ah, that's what that meant. 511 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,800 Okay, this is how it's showing up in my life. 512 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,080 Oh, that's what it meant. 513 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,520 That's what I was showing. 514 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,360 And I'm starting to connect it. 515 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,920 So it's been in the past couple of years that the more I talk about it, the more of those 516 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,400 kind of connections happen. 517 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:18,200 So I've been talking about it, but really, I've just kind of started talking about it 518 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,720 in this past year. 519 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:27,960 So someone that's had some kind of experience, NDESTE, whatever, how helpful is it, do you 520 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:32,920 think for them to talk about whether it's just with a loved one, they don't have to 521 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,280 do it publicly in this kind of a forum. 522 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:41,520 I have talked to a lot of people that have just told me it's so helpful and therapeutic 523 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,920 to be able to talk about it. 524 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,000 Have you found the same thing? 525 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:55,880 So the way from my personal experience, the moment that I discovered that what happened 526 00:33:55,880 --> 00:34:01,480 to me has happened to others and that what happened to me was had a terminology that 527 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,360 I can look up and read. 528 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:09,960 And then I started to see the moment I realized that I was not the only one because I thought 529 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:10,960 I was the only one. 530 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,560 And I was like, oh my God, how do I talk about this? 531 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,080 It's last for me. 532 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:22,920 The things that I saw, the things that I felt, the things that I went through was mind blowing. 533 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,040 I could not speak those things. 534 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:30,400 It took me so much time to understand and comprehend and have the courage to say, okay, 535 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,120 I'm going to have a dialogue about it. 536 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,960 But it's when I found out that I wasn't the only one that gave me permission to really 537 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:40,240 say, okay, I'm not the only one. 538 00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:41,240 So let's see what it is. 539 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,240 It took the fear out. 540 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,760 It took that away. 541 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:52,040 And then just meeting other people who understand the validity of it and who can, even though 542 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:57,960 they have different experiences, but who can hold space and listen to me, it is so incredibly 543 00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:58,960 healing. 544 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,440 It's like being able to breathe. 545 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:05,160 This being heard is so healing. 546 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:11,720 Not just for me, but for the person listening, but you can't force somebody to listen. 547 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,480 So the advice could be connect with an IONS group. 548 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,240 It's a good place to start. 549 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,240 Absolutely. 550 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:24,040 Honestly, it was when I discovered IONS that through IONS, I discovered all the wonderful 551 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:29,640 people and through all these wonderful people, I discovered all the other wonderful resources. 552 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,800 So it's kind of like a door. 553 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,720 You open a door to more, to more. 554 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:37,720 Okay. 555 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:41,440 So this has been a very profound thing in your life. 556 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,480 Tell me, give me some ideas of ways this has changed you. 557 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,480 Wow. 558 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,640 It's changed me so much. 559 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:56,080 Even though I feel like I'm still the same person, there's just so many more layers to 560 00:35:56,080 --> 00:36:08,000 me I have because I see all my senses as I take in a lot and I'm able to process a lot. 561 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:15,920 And there is this inner strength in me that I cannot describe. 562 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,600 There's this inner peace in me. 563 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,960 There's this inner joy that's in me that's always there. 564 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,840 There's this love for life. 565 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:30,160 I've always had it, but now it's more like, I don't know how to describe it if it's more, 566 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:34,920 but I've just been able to be more authentic. 567 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,440 I learned more about me before I didn't know who I was. 568 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:44,880 I was very much trying to figure out how to be the perfect person for everybody else. 569 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:50,200 And I would please one person and piss another person in the process, misunderstand who I 570 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,200 was. 571 00:36:51,200 --> 00:37:00,080 I didn't really know, but since then, I have a lot of respect and value for everything, 572 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,080 including myself. 573 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,000 And I always add myself to the mix. 574 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:08,960 I have gotten to know myself. 575 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:13,560 When you come back so changed that you affect so many people around you and at the beginning, 576 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,440 I affected many people in a negative way. 577 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:21,440 I had a lot of relationships that went sour. 578 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:28,840 Those kind of things really make you take a deeper look inside. 579 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:34,440 And when you do, you really have to look at all your flaws and all the good and all the 580 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:42,680 bad and decide how you want to see them or feel about them and evaluate all the emotions 581 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:52,320 and really you fix your inner stuff and your inner self inside on another level. 582 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,800 And I've spent years doing that. 583 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:59,120 And in the process, just to get to know myself or understand what happened to me, why I was 584 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,720 the way I was. 585 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:03,320 So yeah, there's been a lot of inner growth. 586 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:08,480 And in that kind of a process, people often have their relationships either get a lot 587 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,440 better or a lot worse. 588 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,880 The divorce rate with experiencers is really high. 589 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,160 Like 70 some percent. 590 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,960 I have never heard a specific percent. 591 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,760 I thought I heard somewhere around there, but I could be wrong too. 592 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,760 And that would be within how many years? 593 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,240 You know, five years or something. 594 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:28,600 I don't know. 595 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:34,040 But I just know I've had a lot of people on the show that had a wonderful experience 596 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,960 and then were divorced within two years after. 597 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:37,960 Yeah. 598 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:38,960 So. 599 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:39,960 Yeah. 600 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,840 So I got divorced. 601 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:52,480 My marriage, my marriage ended pretty fast within a year spiritually in that sense. 602 00:38:52,480 --> 00:39:01,200 But it took me probably a total of six years to go through the whole process of getting 603 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,200 divorced. 604 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,200 No. 605 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,200 Okay. 606 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,600 Well, thank you for sharing. 607 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:11,040 I want to get back to one other thing and then we'll wrap up here pretty quick. 608 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:18,080 This love that you felt during your NDE, which you expressed very well. 609 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,240 And I think it was more than just oxytocin, by the way. 610 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:25,200 I think that I think that was a good metaphor that you were using, though. 611 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,520 But my question is, where do you think that came from? 612 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:36,520 I, you know, it's funny because like I said, when I was in my NDE, I was outside 613 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:41,640 my body, the space that I was in, it was light and luminescent. 614 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,040 And I was clear. 615 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,360 I was part of it. 616 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,360 I was in it. 617 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:50,760 So it was, there was no, there was no start or end or beginning. 618 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,640 There was no, it didn't come and it didn't appear. 619 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:57,080 It was just there, like the light in the room. 620 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,080 Right. 621 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,440 But you said you felt this intense love, right? 622 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:01,440 Yeah. 623 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:05,880 It's almost like if you were to, you know how some lights have dimswitch so you can 624 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:10,080 take the light in your room and you can admit and then you can also light it. 625 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:15,760 So it was a light that just got switched up and it became more light. 626 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:16,760 Yeah. 627 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:21,320 So I'm asking a really difficult question that maybe you haven't thought about before. 628 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:25,880 Where do you think the feeling of love came from? 629 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,400 Do you believe in a God that provided that? 630 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,720 Do you think it was from you? 631 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:31,840 Do you think it was from this female voice? 632 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,640 Where did it come from? 633 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:39,160 That came from inside me, but I don't know where my inside was because I was clear, but 634 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,600 it came from me. 635 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:41,600 Okay. 636 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,120 So it wasn't from any kind of outside presence? 637 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,120 No. 638 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,960 That you were feeling? 639 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,160 It ignited from within here, out. 640 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,400 It came from here. 641 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,640 Like when I saw it was almost like the light came out. 642 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,560 The feeling and emotion came out of me. 643 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:04,960 Like I was the center and it exuded out of me into space. 644 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,440 Why would that happen all of a sudden? 645 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:12,680 That doesn't happen every day that all this love just pours out of you like that. 646 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,800 No, actually it does. 647 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,960 Eric, it does. 648 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:17,960 That's awesome. 649 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,840 You know, I have to say something here. 650 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:25,320 I've pondered about this a lot. 651 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:32,680 From my near-death experience, I was one of those people that could tap into love in such 652 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:40,520 a way that it was indescribable. 653 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:48,800 When I described the physical like tears and oxytocin release where I could feel the chemical 654 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:54,840 feeling right inside my nose here, I could taste it. 655 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:56,720 I never knew what it was. 656 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,360 I even Googled it. 657 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:03,360 I asked my doctors and the closest thing that I've heard was that's oxytocin release. 658 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,880 And apparently that's what it is. 659 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:11,120 But for me, I was feeling that way before. 660 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:17,400 I told you when I started my life late, my first child, I didn't have my first child 661 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,200 until I was 31. 662 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,480 So I was not a young mother. 663 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,720 I was what's considered a mature mother. 664 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,240 That's not that old. 665 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:28,680 Well, yeah, now I know that. 666 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:33,880 But at the time, you know, I spent my entire youth thinking at 30. 667 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,400 You know, at 30, we think we're old. 668 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,360 But at the time, I thought I spent my entire life thinking I couldn't have kids. 669 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:44,520 So when I had it, when I had them, I was like blessed with a miracle baby, right? 670 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:53,080 So I was tapping into oxytocin release love molecules three, four, five times a day. 671 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,760 Every time I would nurse, I would just speak. 672 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,600 It was almost like I would have to take a breath. 673 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,160 I don't know where that came from. 674 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,680 But I thought that was normal. 675 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:08,600 Most people can't describe the feeling of love as well as you can. 676 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:09,600 I love love. 677 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,600 Yeah. 678 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:16,320 I'm very familiar with how love feels, tastes, looks, sounds, smells, all of it, all my senses. 679 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,320 Awesome. 680 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,200 They're tuned to love. 681 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:26,600 You mentioned to me the other day the idea of high vibration or high frequency. 682 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,360 Would you expound on that a little bit? 683 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,360 What does that mean? 684 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,860 How does it apply here? 685 00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:36,760 We were talking about what's considered high frequency and low or high frequency and energy, 686 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:37,760 right? 687 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:38,760 Yes. 688 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,440 Or as far as how it affects us humans on a human level. 689 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,240 Well, and what is it? 690 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:45,560 Where does it come from? 691 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,600 Is that is that placed on emotions? 692 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,360 Is that placed on anger? 693 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,960 Where does it come from? 694 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:52,960 Okay. 695 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:58,880 Now we're talking about my favorite topic and my favorite subject, which is one of the 696 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,480 after things that I got into. 697 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:02,480 Yeah. 698 00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,800 So now we're getting into the good stuff, my favorite part. 699 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:10,600 We know that everything is a frequency vibration down to an atom. 700 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,800 Everything to the molecule is frequency. 701 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:22,400 Everything has its own distinct frequency to the point to where every object, everything, 702 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:27,560 everything, everything is a frequency individual individually. 703 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:34,480 So when it comes to us humans, we are a bag of biochemicals, right? 704 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:40,640 We are ingredients which have specific frequency. 705 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,360 What a great way to put it. 706 00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,360 Yeah. 707 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,720 So, a bag of biochemicals. 708 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:46,720 Yeah. 709 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:50,720 So everything about us has a frequency. 710 00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,920 Your every thought has a frequency. 711 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,840 Every emotion has a frequency. 712 00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:04,000 And every thought and every emotion, whether together or separate has a byproduct of another 713 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,440 frequency. 714 00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:13,000 So when the frequency of the mind thoughts and the frequency of emotions are matched, 715 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:18,600 what you get is the creation of the frequency of that which is usually positive. 716 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,800 Now even same thing with negative. 717 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:25,400 If you have negative thoughts and negative emotions, when they meet together, you get 718 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:29,200 the byproduct of that frequency which is a negative experience. 719 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,640 So it's all frequency, matched the frequency and that's what we get. 720 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:40,560 So when we were talking about frequency, right, what it is and how it affects us. 721 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:41,560 Yes. 722 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:48,560 So you are an accumulation of every thought and every emotion you have ever held. 723 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:53,880 I am the accumulation of every thought and emotion and experience I've ever had. 724 00:45:53,880 --> 00:46:02,560 Now based on that is what we become, how we are, right? 725 00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,680 Healthy person versus an unhealthy person. 726 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:11,360 The difference is it's the thoughts and the emotions that created the experience. 727 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,680 Well and can't we choose some of that though? 728 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:20,440 Instead of me just being this bag of biomass of everything that's happened to me, can't 729 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:28,360 I choose to let some things go and those negative things, whatever they were, you know, whether 730 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:34,960 it's somebody yelling at me or something or hurting me in some way, can't I just let those 731 00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:38,240 go and stick with the positive ones? 732 00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:39,720 Absolutely. 733 00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:41,280 We have free will. 734 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,080 We are born with free will. 735 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,480 We are light and love. 736 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,600 We come here for an experience. 737 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:57,080 We come to learn how to think and feel to emanate love and light and that's all this whole experience 738 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:02,160 in my opinion of life is, is to just do that. 739 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,400 So absolutely you can choose. 740 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:05,400 Yeah. 741 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:08,200 We can definitely choose. 742 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:14,240 And for me, that part about my near-death experience, the voice, the only conversation 743 00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:19,840 that I had, which was that I needed to make the decision. 744 00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:31,280 I think that was also a, like a message for me here in the world here for me that everything 745 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:35,400 in life here for me is a matter of my decision. 746 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,400 Like I have to decide. 747 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:43,040 Like, so that means that what is true for me is also true for you and true for others 748 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:47,000 because I am, we are all one. 749 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,800 You know, there's a lot more to my other experience that we didn't get to my spiritually 750 00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,760 transformative experience. 751 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,680 Next episode, how about that? 752 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,640 I show up. 753 00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:58,640 Next interview. 754 00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,640 Yeah. 755 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,120 But it, essentially, what was I trying to say? 756 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:04,840 Yeah, we get a choice. 757 00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,840 It's our choice. 758 00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,080 Being here is a choice. 759 00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,560 How we live is a choice. 760 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,640 One last question just popped in my mind. 761 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:16,680 A few minutes ago, you used the term blasphemy. 762 00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,200 I don't know if you realized it. 763 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:26,200 Now is that because what happened to you through these experiences or what you learned somehow 764 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,480 contradicted the religious background you grew up with? 765 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,480 Yep. 766 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:32,480 Yep. 767 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:33,480 Yep. 768 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:34,720 Yes, to all of those. 769 00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:35,720 Yeah. 770 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,640 I don't need to explain if you don't want to. 771 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,640 That's okay. 772 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,920 Sorry, I know you said don't give me a yes, but that's a yes. 773 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,360 There was a lot of explanation behind it. 774 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,800 Yes, but the answer is yes. 775 00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,960 How much fear of death do you have at this point? 776 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:52,960 Zero. 777 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,800 On a scale of one to a thousand? 778 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:56,800 Uh-huh. 779 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,320 Is it still zero? 780 00:48:58,320 --> 00:48:59,320 Yeah. 781 00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:00,320 Okay. 782 00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:06,840 Lastly, why don't you leave our listeners with something just very upbeat and positive 783 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,520 that they have to look forward to today? 784 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,920 That they truly are light. 785 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:13,040 They come from light. 786 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:21,080 They are light that they are love and that they get to make decisions every day and that 787 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:30,080 they can choose different thoughts, different emotions and that life is created by our intent 788 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:39,760 and our intention, our intention, awareness and focus and it's just a matter of this moment 789 00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:47,360 choosing something that brings a sense of love, peace or calm. 790 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:54,360 You can't fix or heal the world or everything all at once, but moment by moment, little 791 00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:59,720 choice by little choice, small steps, you start to move in the direction and all we 792 00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:06,280 have to do is face the direction of love and light and healing and we get sucked right 793 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:07,280 into it. 794 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:10,280 So yeah, life is a gift. 795 00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:15,320 We can choose to look at it in many different perspectives, but yeah, at the end of the 796 00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:16,720 day, life is a gift. 797 00:50:16,720 --> 00:50:17,720 All right. 798 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:23,160 If anybody wants to reach out to you, we'll put a link in the show notes and Lena, thanks 799 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,360 so much for being on with me today. 800 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:26,360 Absolutely. 801 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:36,120 Thank you for inviting me and having me and giving me an opportunity to share the sound 802 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:42,600 and frequency of the experience that I had and then I hope that whoever needs to and 803 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:48,240 wants to resonate with that and finds some sort of connection that that's why I do what 804 00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:49,240 I do. 805 00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:52,040 So thank you. 806 00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,840 Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast. 807 00:50:54,840 --> 00:51:00,920 Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtriptest.com. 808 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:05,200 If you want to share your near death experience or if you have questions or comments about 809 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:09,720 the show, send an email to Eric at roundtriptest.com. 810 00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:26,200 Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.