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From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.

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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.

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And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my

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physical body because I was somewhere else.

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The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't

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anything else to be felt.

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I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.

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I'm back home again.

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Incredibly safe and felt at home.

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Welcome, welcome to Roundtrip Death, everybody, and welcome to our special guest, Ryan Nurse.

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How are you this morning, Ryan?

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I am very well.

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Thank you, my friend.

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And thank you so much for having me.

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How are you?

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I'm doing great today.

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It is a beautiful, sunny, almost spring-like, cold, but sort of spring-like day here in

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the mountains of Utah, but you're in a very different environment.

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Tell everybody where you live and what you're doing there.

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So I've actually been living in almost every country now from Mexico down to Brazil and

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back up.

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I'm actually based here in Colombia right now.

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I've been living in Colombia for the last five months, and I will actually be here in

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Medellin where I currently am now for one more week before I head to Venezuela.

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Okay.

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You do not have a Central American accent.

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Where are you from?

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So I'm from England, sort of Southeast England on the outskirts of London.

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Okay.

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But why Central America?

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What are you doing there?

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So look, I always listen to my intuition.

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And back in 2021, it was almost like I had a call in to go to Latin America, something

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which just kept telling me, go to Mexico, go to Mexico.

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And one morning I sort of felt like my life had almost flatlined, and in life, if we're

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not growing, I believe we're dying.

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So I said, I need to really push myself so far out of my comfort zone and do something

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sort of big and bold.

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And with that being said, I literally picked up my credit card.

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I booked one-way ticket to Mexico, and I literally left the very next week and haven't looked

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back since.

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I went from Mexico, every country down from Mexico, Central America, made my way all the

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way down to Brazil.

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And then I started to come back up and, yeah, I'm back here in Colombia right now.

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Well, living the dream, love to hear about it.

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By the way, just a little interjection for everybody listening.

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The internet service in Colombia isn't always as fast as what we're used to.

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Ryan's voice is going in and out slightly.

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Please put up with it.

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It will be worth it because his story is awesome.

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So let's jump right in if you don't mind.

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You had, oh, wow, a horrific thing happen to you.

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And you can go into as much or little detail as you're comfortable with, Ryan.

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But let's go back just a few years.

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You were in the UK.

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What happened on this dreadful night?

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Yeah.

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So look, I'm happy to talk about all of it.

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And thank you as well for bearing with me with the sound regarding, obviously, the Wi-Fi,

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because it is Colombia and it is a bit of a fee.

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But you said something horrific.

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And obviously what happened to me was absolutely horrendous.

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And mainly for my family, it was actually even worse.

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Because for me, I was just sort of laying there.

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But the choices, the decisions and the things that my family had to go was absolutely, yeah,

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unimaginable.

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But for me, also, now looking back, you know, I realize that sometimes your most profound

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periods of pain can actually also turn out to be your greatest gifts of growth.

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So let me talk to you about what actually happened to me on this night.

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So back in 2011, as an 18-year-old boy, there was this one specific nightclub that was maybe

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five to 10 minutes maximum away from where I lived.

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And me and my friends would always go to this nightclub, sometimes even three times a week.

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That's how local it was.

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And that's how much we enjoyed it.

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We knew everybody there.

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So one weekend, we decided to go to the nightclub, as we usually did.

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But we noticed that there was this group of guys there that were sort of like outsiders.

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They wasn't from, say, the normal surroundings, like the normal area, because we would have

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known them and we didn't know them.

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And these guys looked like they were out to cause trouble this night.

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So we were just sort of dancing.

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We were just planting.

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And the music was pumping.

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The drinks were flowing.

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And we were literally dancing the night away.

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But then these guys decided to have an argument with some of our older friends.

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And obviously us younger guys and some girls there as well, we were sort of just watching

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it all unfold.

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And nothing really happened.

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It was just a bit of pushing and shoving and a bit of sort of shirt tugging.

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And that was it.

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It got broken up and everything was fine, what we thought.

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And a few hours later, me and my friends decided to leave the club and we got into a taxi.

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But then we got into this taxi.

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And as we started to leave the car park, we noticed that these same lads or sort of older

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guys, they come out of the club and they actually come over to our taxi and they removed us from

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our taxi.

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So bearing in mind, we were sort of 18 year old guys, we were like boys basically.

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And they're 26, 27, 28.

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So they're sort of like men compared to us.

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And they literally said, this is our taxi.

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And they literally pulled us out of the taxi.

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So with that being said, there was a bit of say disagreement, I guess.

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And we was obviously saying that it was our taxi.

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And then all of a sudden they're saying that they booked it first.

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And then the driver turned and sort of sided with them, which we couldn't really believe.

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And then things started to make sense, obviously, as we go through the story.

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But we decided it'd be wise to get into a separate taxi to obviously make it back to

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the safety of our parents' homes.

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So we got into the taxi, we left the car park, we turned left, and then we turned left again

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onto what is a dark, unlit road.

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So as we're driving down this road, obviously things are pitch black.

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But then we noticed the same bright white headlights of that vehicle that we just got

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distracted from filled the whole interior of our taxi.

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And out of nowhere, this loud, angry voice started shouting for our driver's walkie-talkie

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demanding that we pull over.

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So our driver began to slow the vehicle.

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And he started to indicate, and he started to stop.

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And he pulled it up onto the path.

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So we started saying to the driver, like, what are you doing?

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And why are you stopping?

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Like, what's the reason for you for stopping?

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It was just silence.

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He didn't say a single word.

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So me and my friends were just looking at each other.

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And we was confused.

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We didn't have a clue what was going on.

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And as the driver stopped, he turned the vehicle off.

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And that same vehicle with those angry men in pulled up behind us and they switched their

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lights off.

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So those two drivers must have known each other.

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Possibly.

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Possibly.

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You know, because it's quite a small local area, a lot of the drivers do know each other.

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A lot of the people know each other as well.

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So with this being said, our driver was just sat there and his car pulled up behind us,

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switched his lights off.

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And then there was this sort of eerie sound of silence because me and my friends, we were

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all looking at each other thinking, what happens now?

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What happens next?

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Yeah.

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You don't dare get out.

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So no, we were just sat there just pleading with our driver, just asking him, like, just

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go, like, leave.

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There's nothing, not doing anything.

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He didn't say a word, he didn't even turn around.

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And it's literally something out of nowhere.

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There was this really loud knock on the passenger front window to which my friend was sat in

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that seat.

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So he opened the window and he started to ask, what's the problem?

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What is the issue?

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But as soon as he opened the window, he began to get punched through the window by one of

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the guys.

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So me and my friends all panicked and we started to open our doors to try and stop this madness

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from happening.

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As I opened my door, I was greeted with the same fist.

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I didn't even have a chance to take my seatbelt off and I was glued to the back of my seat

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like a sitting duck.

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And this guy was just pummeling in the side of my head over and over again.

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It was like 10, 20, 30 times.

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It just kept going on and on and on.

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It was like a hammer drill to the head.

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It just didn't stop.

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I was panicking, obviously.

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I was trying to get my buckle undone because of the sheer pressure and the force and the

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panic.

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The seatbelt was doing what a seatbelt should do, which was to lock.

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And I couldn't get the buckle undone.

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So bearing in mind, I'm getting pummeled in the side of my head by this guy and I'm trying

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to get my belt undone and it just wouldn't undo.

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And as the guys just pounded my head in, at one moment, the only thought that went through

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my mind said, this is how you're going to die.

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Like, Ryan, this is how you're going to die.

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Ryan, you need to get the belt undone.

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You need to get the belt undone.

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And I was pushing it as hard as I possibly can and then pop.

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It went.

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And it was this pressure, just relief from my body.

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We lost you for just a second.

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Was this you said a voice in your head?

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Yeah.

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So I had a voice in my head just telling me, this is how you are going to die.

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And I honestly believed in that moment I was going to die.

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The force that this guy was punching me with, it was unbelievable.

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It was almost like he was hitting me with a baseball bat.

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It was that hard.

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And I just thought, I'm not going to get out of this taxi alive.

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But I did.

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I popped the buckle.

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I released the pressure and I managed to get out of the driver's rear door.

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So I opened the door and as I sort of popped the buckle, the punching stopped.

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I got out of this door and I just run down the side road because I knew the area quite

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well.

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I run down the side road and I sort of just hid in a bush.

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And as I hid in the bush, I called a friend.

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For whatever reason, I just didn't want swinger calling the paramedics or the police.

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I just thought I'll ring my friend because he lives closed and he's with his girlfriend.

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They have a car and they can come and pick me up.

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Because in that moment, I just wanted to get back to the safety of my parents' home.

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I just wanted to go to bed.

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So I called my friend and he said he's going to be there in any moment.

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And I was just hiding in this bush, panicking.

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Before you go on, can I just ask how many other people were in the car and what was happening

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to them?

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So what it was, it was me, two of my younger guy friends and one of our girlfriends who

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was a little bit older than us.

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So there was me, two guys and one girl, so four of us.

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But bearing in mind, when I got out of the taxi, I looked back to all the madness that

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was unfolding.

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And I see my guy friends getting beaten up by the guys.

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I see my girl friend of ours, she was getting beaten up by the guys as well.

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And these guys, these five guys were all attacking us.

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Bearing in mind one of them is a taxi driver.

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He was also attacking my friends as well.

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And I just see this madness unfolding.

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And I couldn't believe it was like something of a movie.

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So I just had to call for help.

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I had to call for someone to come and pick us up straight away.

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So I run down this side road and I just thought, I need to ring my friend because I know they

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have a car and they can come and get us so quick.

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So I just called my friend, but my heavy head was so, it was just spinning round and round.

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It was like this gyroscopic feeling that was just going round and round and round.

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I could barely keep my head up.

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And I was just mumbling these words to my friend like, you need to pick us up now.

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And a little bit of time went past.

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I don't really know how long, maybe five or 10 minutes went past.

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And my friend, they arrived in the car, my friend and his girlfriend, they arrived in

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the car and they waved me and said, come on, get in, get in.

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So I run and I get into the car and we actually went back the same way of where the attack

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was.

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So we had to go and pick up another, another girl, another lady from the car park.

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So as we drive back, nobody was there.

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It all stopped.

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And my heavy head was just spinning round and round.

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And we picked up this other friend of ours and she said, look, you need to get this guy

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to hospital.

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Like you need to take this boy to hospital now.

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And my heavy head was just falling down.

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But I couldn't keep it up.

240
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:01,720
And at one point I just, I rested it on the window ledge to try and hold it up.

241
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,280
But even then, every bump that we went over in the car, my head just fell down.

242
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,160
Now, I remember my friend said to me, like, we need to take you to hospital now.

243
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,400
And I said, no, like I just want my bed.

244
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,400
I need to go back home.

245
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,960
And he was saying, look, Ryan, we need to take you to hospital.

246
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,600
Like, please let us take you.

247
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,840
And I just literally forced him and pleaded with him to take me back to my parents' home.

248
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,840
And he did.

249
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,040
And I remember just as we, as we pulled up outside my parents' house, he said, like,

250
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,400
please, please, please ring me in the morning and make sure you're okay.

251
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,680
And I said, yes, everything's going to be fine in the morning.

252
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,040
Because in that moment, I just believed that I just had a few drinks.

253
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,800
I've been beaten up and I'll be perfect in the morning.

254
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,920
I'll be back to normal.

255
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,600
And then I get out of the car and I stumbled up the driveway to my parents' home.

256
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,200
I put my hand on the handle.

257
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,880
I opened the door and I just walked through.

258
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,680
And after that, I don't remember a single thing.

259
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:55,560
So now I can only speak to you from my parents' point of view.

260
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,560
Okay.

261
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,240
And while they must have been terrified, what time in the morning was this?

262
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:05,400
So this was around, from my memory, my mom told me around 5 a.m. in the morning.

263
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,600
So this is now on a Sunday morning, 5 a.m.

264
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,600
Okay.

265
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,600
And I was very, very worried.

266
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,320
My mom, she always used to wait up for us kids.

267
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,320
Like, who is going on a night out?

268
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:18,480
She'd be there at the top of the stairs waiting until we got home.

269
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:23,440
This night, she knew something wasn't right, quite right, because it was 5 a.m.

270
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,160
Never once did I get home at 5 a.m.

271
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,160
Never.

272
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,480
The latest probably was around 4 a.m.

273
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,880
And this is like, ever.

274
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,480
This is like a late, late night.

275
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,600
Most of the nights, it was between 3 and half, 3.

276
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,600
I'd get back.

277
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:39,400
My mom knew the times I'd get back, but this night, it was later than usual.

278
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,360
And apparently, I just walked up the stairs and I walked past her.

279
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,760
She said to me, Ryan, you're okay.

280
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:44,760
Like, is everything okay?

281
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,760
Where have you been?

282
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:50,280
And I just had this blank look on my face and I just walked right past her.

283
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,280
And then what did I do?

284
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,640
I took my clothes off and I folded them up as I usually did.

285
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:58,960
I put them nice and neatly down at the side of my bed and I got into bed.

286
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,200
My mom was watching me and I wasn't even looking at her.

287
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,880
And I just got into bed and I closed my eyes.

288
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:09,960
So as the minutes and the hours sort of went by, she was monitoring me the whole time because

289
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,200
she knew something wasn't right.

290
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,680
She said that was snoring, like really, really loudly snoring.

291
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,320
It wasn't normal for me.

292
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:23,680
And then suddenly I started vomiting this jet black, almost projectile vomit.

293
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,800
So my mom comes in and saying, like, what's happening, Ryan?

294
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,200
And no response.

295
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,480
Just this vomit just kept coming out and out of my mouth.

296
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,240
She goes and sees my dad and says, look, something's really wrong with Ryan.

297
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,000
He's vomiting this jet black vomit.

298
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:41,360
But look, my dad being my dad, like my dad is my best friend.

299
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,680
And my dad being my dad just said to my mom, he just had way too much to drink.

300
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,200
He's probably been on these black Zambuca shots and he's thought he's cool with his

301
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,000
friends and he's done all these black Zambuca.

302
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,680
They probably bought a bottle and done it between them.

303
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,240
It'd be fine in the morning.

304
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,240
Don't worry, it'd be fine.

305
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,240
Just give him a few hours.

306
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,720
He'll wake up, he'll be fine.

307
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,640
But my mom, you know, with those maternal instincts, knew that her son wasn't right,

308
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,640
knew that something was really wrong.

309
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,200
So she would just monitor me again and again and again.

310
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,160
And I started vomiting once more.

311
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,680
This jet black vomit just kept coming out of my mouth.

312
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,720
And bearing in mind my younger brother, who was around nine years old at the time, he

313
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,880
was in that same bedroom with me on the top of the bunk bed, looking, watching me.

314
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,160
Just looking at his brother, just thinking, what is happening?

315
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,120
Like, you've never seen anything like this before.

316
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:32,680
And then thankfully for me, my older brother gets a call from a friend to say, how is Ryan

317
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:33,680
doing?

318
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,680
Is everything okay?

319
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,280
Bearing in mind my brother knows nothing that's happening.

320
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,880
He said, why wouldn't Ryan be okay?

321
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,560
And then this friend told my brother, they had a fight.

322
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,480
It was this big argument and ended up getting beaten up on the way home.

323
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:52,680
So bearing in mind, this has just happened, my older brother was straight on the phone

324
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,240
to my mom and dad saying, like, you need to wake Ryan up now.

325
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,960
Like, make sure he's Ryan's okay.

326
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:57,960
I wake him up.

327
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,680
So my parents rush into the room saying, Ryan, wake up, are you okay?

328
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,760
I was completely unresponsive.

329
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:10,200
So with that being said, the paramedics were called and there was multiple ambulances outside

330
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,200
of my house.

331
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,200
And my dad said it was like all hell broke loose.

332
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,680
Like there was paramedics just come rushing up into my bedroom and there was many, many

333
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,200
paramedics coming into my room.

334
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,480
There was walkie talkies.

335
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,480
There was sirens.

336
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,480
There was beeping.

337
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,480
There was just noises that my parents never heard before.

338
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,400
There was like a TV series or a documentary or a movie.

339
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,400
It was crazy.

340
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,040
Before you know it, they had me on that stretcher.

341
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:37,320
They took me downstairs and they got me into the back of the ambulance.

342
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,360
So my dad stayed at home to look after my younger brother and the rest of my siblings.

343
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,280
My mom went into a separate ambulance, followed me in pursuit.

344
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:51,440
And we arrived at the first hospital, which is maybe 40 minutes to an hour away.

345
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,800
And obviously my mom arrived in the separate ambulance, she said, when I arrived, they

346
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,640
had already taken me in.

347
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:02,600
So my mom's now all alone in the hospital looking for answers, trying to figure out what had

348
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,480
happened to her son.

349
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:09,640
So she was sat there in that waiting room, confused, didn't know what was going on.

350
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:14,200
As the paramedics and the doctors and nurses come by, my mom's just pleading with them,

351
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,360
like please tell me some answers.

352
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,360
Like where is my son?

353
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,360
What's happening?

354
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,960
They said they don't know.

355
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:19,960
Nothing.

356
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:26,040
And as the time goes by, my mom tells me she was sat there, that she hears a voice down

357
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,000
the corridor.

358
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,160
She starts smiling, she starts being happy and feeling good.

359
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,400
She heard my voice down that corridor.

360
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,440
This huge sense of relief was just like, oh my God, he's OK.

361
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,480
So she follows that voice and she just doesn't know where she's going.

362
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,520
She's walking down this corridor, just looking for the voice, listening, listening, listening.

363
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,640
She hears it coming from the dorm.

364
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,320
So she goes into that room and the voice wasn't mine.

365
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,320
It was another boy and it wasn't my voice.

366
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,800
So bearing in mind, my mom is now up here and she's excited, she's happy.

367
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:06,040
So she gets dropped straight back down to earth to realize that it wasn't her son.

368
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,560
So she goes back to that waiting room and again, every doctor, every nurse that comes

369
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,120
by, she asks them, where is my son?

370
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,120
His name's Ryan Nurse.

371
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,120
Where is he?

372
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120
Like what's happening to him?

373
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,620
Nothing.

374
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:20,640
And then suddenly a doctor, a nurse comes out and says to my mom, look, we've prepared

375
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,760
Ryan, we've prepared him ready for an operation.

376
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,760
He needs to go into surgery.

377
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,200
We need to take him by air ambulance to a specialist hospital.

378
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,840
He needs an emergency brain operation right now.

379
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:36,800
So bearing in mind, I was just laying in my bed a few hours before and my mom's being

380
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,800
told, your son needs an emergency brain operation.

381
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:45,560
Yeah, this is the very first thing that she's heard about your condition, right?

382
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,200
She doesn't know what happened.

383
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:52,680
No, any parent listening out there, just imagine if that was your son, for instance.

384
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,240
How would you feel in this moment?

385
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,720
Wow, how terrifying.

386
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,440
So my mom is just like, what is going on?

387
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,880
Because there's no signs of bleeding, there's no blood, no bruising, no sign of trauma at

388
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:02,880
all.

389
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,280
So my mom's saying, how can this happen?

390
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,280
Look, they didn't take me by air ambulance, by helicopter.

391
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:13,760
They actually took me in the ambulance, but they rushed me there on the blue lights.

392
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:18,680
And as they sort of cut me out into the ambulance, my dad just actually arrived in the car.

393
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:23,320
So as my ambulance leaves with me in it, my parents obviously follow in their car in

394
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,880
pursuit to try and obviously keep up with us.

395
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,320
So I obviously make it to the hospital way before my parents.

396
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:36,120
And then my parents said that they arrived there around sort of 4, 5 p.m., I believe,

397
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:41,720
or maybe a little bit earlier, actually, because what happens when my parents arrived?

398
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,480
They didn't have a clue where I was.

399
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,040
I just went in for this emergency operation.

400
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,240
So my dad and my mom are asking every doctor, every nurse, every receptionist, where's my

401
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,560
son, his name's Ryan Nurse, where is he?

402
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,560
We don't know, we don't know where this guy is.

403
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,760
They were going around for hours, my dad is stressing out, he's screaming, he's shouting

404
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,520
at people, asking for answers.

405
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,520
Nobody knows.

406
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,800
So bear in mind, my parents are in this hospital, that is huge.

407
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:10,040
And they just up and down the stairs asking every single person they see.

408
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:15,880
And then finally, they located me and the operation was done.

409
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:20,400
And look, my parents said around 6 p.m., they got to see me and I was laying there in that

410
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:26,560
intensive care unit on a large support machine because I had to be rushed into hospital because

411
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:32,320
I suffered from a fractured skull and a blood clot due to a bleed on the brain.

412
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:38,680
I had to have that an emergency brain operation because all that stuff that was going on internally,

413
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,400
if that wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have survived.

414
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,360
They told my parents when they finally got to see me that the severity of my injuries

415
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,960
was so bad that if they would have waited any longer, I would have died at home in that

416
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:54,920
bed because the blood was just pouring out into my skull and it was just pushing my brain

417
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,160
down my spine because there was no way for it to go.

418
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,400
So just imagine that, any parents that are listening.

419
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,800
I can't even imagine.

420
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,240
I have adult children and that just is terrifying.

421
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,600
Children and 18s barely an adult.

422
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,120
Holy cow.

423
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,360
We haven't even talked about near-death experience yet.

424
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:19,560
I feel like I need to take a deep breath after that.

425
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:24,600
That's exciting and terrifying and like I said, horrific.

426
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:34,280
Okay, so we're going to come back to all the physical stuff that happened and your recovery

427
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:35,280
from this.

428
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:41,720
In a nutshell, I believe the doctors at this point after surgery put you in an induced coma,

429
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:42,720
correct?

430
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,720
Yes, that's correct.

431
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,720
Okay.

432
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:49,160
And is this where you felt like you had a near-death experience?

433
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,160
Yes.

434
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:55,320
So I was in induced coma straight away on the first day, obviously.

435
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,160
When the doctors told my parents, look, he's never going to wake up from this.

436
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,880
Go and tell your friend's family.

437
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,560
He's never going to wake up.

438
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:06,120
On the third day, they told my parents again, because there's zero brain activity, you need

439
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,120
to pull the plug.

440
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:12,960
And that's when my dad saved my life because my dad said no way, which allowed them to

441
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,840
keep it on for a few more days.

442
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,160
And in total, I was in that induced coma for one week.

443
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,680
The day they reduced the patient to try and bring me out of the coma, my lungs weren't

444
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,680
functioning by themselves.

445
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,680
So I had to be put straight back into the coma.

446
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,440
And again, they were telling my parents, like, if he ever comes through from this, if he

447
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,160
ever wakes up, he will never walk or talk again and will be in a vegetative state for the

448
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,160
rest of his life.

449
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,920
My parents insisted they keep it on.

450
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,000
And they did.

451
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,240
And then the second time, they reduced the patient and my lungs, I started to function

452
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,240
by myself.

453
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,760
But bearing in mind, I didn't just wake up, open my eyes and start to talk to people.

454
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:54,200
It was just a mind on the machine to say that my lungs were working.

455
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:59,120
But then this is when I believe when things started happening and when I actually experienced

456
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:04,720
this out of body experience, just before actually waking up back in the real world, like back

457
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:10,560
on Earth, when I actually physically opened my eyes and saw people, like real people,

458
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,560
I actually was gifted an out of body experience.

459
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,520
And I'm going to explain this now.

460
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:23,080
And I truly believe that we as humans don't really know the true meaning of life.

461
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,040
And when we do is when we actually experience death.

462
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,840
And let me talk to you about why I believe that.

463
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:34,440
So in this out of body experience, I'm going to talk a little bit about when I was a child,

464
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:39,120
just for a couple of seconds here, because we all hear these things online in newspapers,

465
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,960
for instance, it used to be on the television.

466
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:46,320
Like people see these out of body experience and something traumatic happens in their lives.

467
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,320
And what happens?

468
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:51,200
They go through these out of body experience where they might see a bright light or they

469
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,800
might see themselves or their families or their whole life might unfold in front of

470
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:55,800
their eyes.

471
00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,000
And as much as these were really sort of cool stories when I was a child, we used to talk

472
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,840
about these things in the playground at school.

473
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:06,600
And we all had our own ideas of what it could be when you die, for instance.

474
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,240
And I never believed in any of that.

475
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,320
I was such an atheist, like I never believed in a God.

476
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,720
And I just didn't believe in anything.

477
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,080
It was just like, we are born, we die, and then that is it.

478
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:21,760
But now I truly believe that something or someone knows a lot more than we know.

479
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,280
And what happens to us after?

480
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,320
I don't know, but you can make your own opinion from my own story.

481
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:32,240
But for me, I was in that out of body experience and let me talk to you about it now.

482
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,400
So this is now in the out of body experience.

483
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:40,600
I remember looking down at myself through the eyes of someone or something else, whether

484
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,520
it's my creator, my maker, I don't really know.

485
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,400
But I was looking down at me for a set of someone else's eyes.

486
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:53,080
And I was looking down at me laying there in that hospital bed.

487
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,080
And I was outside.

488
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:59,640
And there was these two huge, big black ladies, and they were pushing me on this hospital

489
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,760
bed.

490
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,880
And we're going down this cobbled street.

491
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,080
And I saw this whole thing unfold and it was so picture perfect.

492
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,560
It was like 5K, but better.

493
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,080
It was so pristine, this experience.

494
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,680
And everything was just bright and it was just crystal clear clarity and the quality

495
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:16,680
was insane.

496
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,360
And I was just watching myself being pushed down this cobbled street.

497
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:24,240
And these two black ladies are just talking in this unknown language.

498
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,240
Like it wasn't French, it wasn't Spanish, it wasn't Portuguese.

499
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,240
It wasn't English.

500
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,280
It was just a language that I didn't have a clue what it was.

501
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,680
I never heard anything like it before.

502
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,600
I didn't have a clue what they were saying.

503
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:36,600
But they were just talking.

504
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:41,080
And it wasn't like they were arguing, but they were having like a heated conversation.

505
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,480
I'm just trying to figure out what they're saying.

506
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,120
I didn't know.

507
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,160
And they're pushing me down this cobbled street.

508
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,560
And because it's cobbled, the bed that I'm on is like bumping.

509
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:56,240
And as it's bumping, me, my body was sort of sliding down the bed.

510
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:01,120
And as we're going down this street, it's going down and down and down.

511
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,440
And the bed is just bumping and bumping.

512
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,640
And my body is slowly juddering down this bed.

513
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,760
And I just hear this voice whispering in my ear, wherever my ear is, but these eyes and

514
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:14,800
here, his voice is whispering saying, I just kept saying, they're going to drop him.

515
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,680
They're going to drop him.

516
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,080
And I just believe that they're going to drop me off the end of the bed.

517
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:23,680
And as my legs started to come off the end of the bed, we made this sharp left turn.

518
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:29,920
But what I can only say is this giant set of glass sliding doors into what seemed to

519
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,480
be like a huge reception area.

520
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,560
And we go in there and I'm watching and they're pushing me towards this desk, this huge sort

521
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,560
of rounded desk.

522
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,720
There's a lady on this desk.

523
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,240
And we're heading towards this lady.

524
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,040
And there's many people in this reception area.

525
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,640
And they're all just talking in this unknown language.

526
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,040
And as we go in towards this lady at the desk, she's pointing towards her left.

527
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,440
What is just a brick wall?

528
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,560
And we're heading towards her.

529
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,800
So now it's our right.

530
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:03,920
So as these ladies are pushing me on the bed towards the lady at the reception, we make

531
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,600
a sharp right hand turn, which is her left.

532
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:11,000
And as we make that turn, these eyes that I'm watching this experience through, I sort

533
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,080
of get transitioned to the other side of the reception.

534
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,520
And now I'm sort of hovering over what I'm doing.

535
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,040
I'm here in the other side of the reception.

536
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,160
And now I'm looking across the reception.

537
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,680
These two ladies are now pushing me towards the brick wall.

538
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,080
And I'm thinking, what's going to happen now?

539
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,480
Because there's no way for them to go.

540
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,280
And they're getting faster and faster and faster.

541
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,640
And they're not going anywhere.

542
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,400
But at one point, it gets so fast, but they're barely moving.

543
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,760
Like, I can't explain it because the things are just getting so fast, but they're not

544
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:44,760
going anywhere.

545
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:51,440
But as I'm watching this through these different set of eyes, I'm bracing myself.

546
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:55,440
Because I can just tell that that hospital bed with me on it is going to hit the brick

547
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,440
wall.

548
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,440
So I'm bracing myself.

549
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,640
And as the time goes by, I'm just waiting for the impact.

550
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:08,360
And then out of nowhere, bam, the hospital bed, the gurney, hits the wall.

551
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:09,960
And it goes up like this.

552
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:14,280
And as the bed goes up, the wall opens up, almost like a giant cat flap.

553
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,480
And my body just slides through.

554
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:22,520
But as my body passes through this door, this flap, these eyes that I'm viewing this experience

555
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:27,720
through, gets sucked straight back into my actual body, in this out of body experience.

556
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:33,840
So now I'm back in my own body, but I'm just falling through just dark, black, nothingness.

557
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,080
And I don't know where I am.

558
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,040
Everything is just black.

559
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,040
And I'm looking around.

560
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,040
I'm observing things.

561
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,520
I'm thinking, where am I?

562
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,520
What is this place?

563
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,880
And it's just like I'm falling out of the sky.

564
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,080
It's literally I'm just falling to nowhere.

565
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,080
So time goes by.

566
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:53,360
And bear in mind, in this place, there's no, no, no time, time and space doesn't exist.

567
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,120
Like, time was just forever.

568
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,120
Nothing actually existed.

569
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,720
I had no perception of anything in this place.

570
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,120
So I'm just falling what seemed to be like forever.

571
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:07,200
And I'm just looking everywhere up, down, looking for answers.

572
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,840
And then right down there towards my left, I just see this small, glistening outline

573
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,040
of a bright, white, shining square.

574
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,840
I'm thinking, what is that?

575
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:23,280
And as the time passes by, this square is getting bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter.

576
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,600
And I'm actually being magnetized and I'm moving towards this square.

577
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,360
And I'm just thinking, what is this place?

578
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,920
Where am I going?

579
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,720
What is this square?

580
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,120
I really didn't know.

581
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:38,360
But this square is getting bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter.

582
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,040
And it got so big and bright.

583
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,840
At one point, the intensity of that light was shining so bright.

584
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,320
It was almost like heat in my face.

585
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,320
I closed my eyes.

586
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:53,680
And the moment I closed my eyes was when I felt the soles of my feet hit.

587
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:58,400
What I can only imagine is another wall to another cat flap or another wall to another

588
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,400
dimension.

589
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,400
And it was almost like I was coming down a slide in the swimming pool.

590
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:10,320
And I sort of slid and shot out of this place and bam, I landed back in the hospital bed.

591
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,920
And now I'm laying there in this place, which is bright, white.

592
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,800
And it wasn't a room because there was no walls.

593
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,800
There was no ceiling.

594
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,640
It was just forever, just white.

595
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,320
And I'm laying there and I'm now looking down at myself again through these other set of

596
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,480
eyes where my body is just laying there in this bed.

597
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,960
And the time goes by and I'm looking for answers.

598
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,280
I'm thinking, what's going to happen next?

599
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:33,280
What's happening now?

600
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:38,600
And then just from behind me where I can't see, the doctors and the nurses just started

601
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:44,000
to come in and they just started preparing me and they just started operating on my body.

602
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:49,000
And now I'm looking down at my body and the doctors are just operating on my head.

603
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,920
But look, there's no blood.

604
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,440
There's no pain, which is all peace and pleasure.

605
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:59,040
This was one of the most beautiful picture perfect, amazing things that I'd ever seen

606
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,040
in my whole life.

607
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:05,320
Doctors working on my head and they're all just talking, they're whispering in this unknown

608
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,320
language.

609
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,000
I'm just trying to make sense of everything.

610
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Okay.

611
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,880
I've got so many questions.

612
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,980
I'm going to stop you for a minute.

613
00:31:13,980 --> 00:31:18,120
And let's sort through some of this because there's a whole bunch.

614
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:23,480
First of all, this other set of eyes looking down on your body, you've mentioned a few

615
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,480
times.

616
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,480
Yes.

617
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:31,720
Most people will say, that was me out of my body looking down on my body.

618
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,400
But you feel like that wasn't the case with you?

619
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:40,440
No, I truly believe it was either like my maker, my creator, like, but what is that?

620
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,440
Am I my own maker?

621
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,440
I don't know.

622
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,440
I don't know.

623
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:48,480
Also, for me, I believe it could possibly be the eyes of my granddad.

624
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:49,480
He was my best friend.

625
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,480
I have a tattoo here.

626
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,480
I don't know if you can see.

627
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,480
Let me show you here, guys, on the camera.

628
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,680
I have a tattoo that says granddad here.

629
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:56,680
There's granddad.

630
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,040
So my granddad was like my best friend.

631
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,920
I see him three times a day because he lived literally two doors down from my parents.

632
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:03,920
Yeah.

633
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,240
He was the one that really believed in me in life.

634
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,960
Like he said, you could achieve anything you want.

635
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,880
You will become so successful.

636
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:13,760
He was always there for me, but then when I lost my granddad, I lost like a huge part

637
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:14,760
of myself.

638
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:19,280
And I truly believe like my granddad was the person that helped pull me through that's

639
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,240
a whole trauma or the traumatic experience.

640
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:28,440
So you were somehow tuned into his experience of looking down on you then, right?

641
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,800
I believe from my own eyes, whether this is correct or not, I truly still don't know

642
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,040
now, but I just believe something inside of me is saying, maybe it is your granddad

643
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,840
are looking down at you, just looking over you to make sure you're okay.

644
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,960
But the thing is, there kept being these transitions where the eyes kept transitioning

645
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,160
back into my head, right?

646
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,800
Back into my body.

647
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,800
Interesting.

648
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,800
Okay.

649
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,640
Now you were talking about also looking down on this surgery happening with no blood or

650
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,360
anything and these people are talking in a different language.

651
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,840
Is this different than the initial surgery that you had gone through?

652
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:03,840
What was it?

653
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,560
Just a few days before this?

654
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,360
The real surgery in the hospital?

655
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:11,320
Is this something different or like a replay?

656
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,320
Explain.

657
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,680
It's okay if you don't totally know.

658
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:15,680
Just your opinion.

659
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,680
No, I truly don't know.

660
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,680
I truly don't know.

661
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:19,800
And will I ever know?

662
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:20,800
Who knows?

663
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:25,480
Maybe one day I'll figure this all out, but at the minute I can't be 100% certain, but

664
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,440
maybe it is a sort of a replay of what actually happened.

665
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,440
Possibly.

666
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,440
I really don't know.

667
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,880
But the word that I want to use, actually watching this unfold through this different

668
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,120
set of eyes was bliss.

669
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,120
It was blissful.

670
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,600
It was the most blissful thing that I'd ever seen me being operated on and these doctors

671
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:49,840
just whispering in this unknown language and it was just so perfect just watching this

672
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:50,840
thing unfold.

673
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:51,840
It was no pain.

674
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:52,840
It was just pleasure.

675
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:58,240
It was one of the most amazing things or probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

676
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,240
Yeah.

677
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,240
And you would think that that would be disturbing, not blissful.

678
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:09,520
I've had some other people on this show that have talked about seeing spiritual beings,

679
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:15,240
whether they call them angels or whatever, spiritual beings actually doing some healing

680
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:19,040
to their body while they were out of the body.

681
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,600
Is maybe that, do you think maybe that's what was happening?

682
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,800
Could well be because like I say, these people, they look like me and you, but the language,

683
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,920
the noises that were coming out of their mouth.

684
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:29,920
It's unexplainable.

685
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,400
I could not tell you even what it sounded like.

686
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,440
So these could have been say angels, they could have been spirits.

687
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:41,560
Who knows what they could have been, but they, the language they were speaking was just not

688
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,120
from this planet as well.

689
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:50,520
Well and the reason that you felt bliss tells me that something good was going on, something

690
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,880
spiritually positive was happening at that point, right?

691
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:55,880
Sure.

692
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:56,880
Okay.

693
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,880
Tell me what else happens.

694
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,520
Well, you're in this kind of state.

695
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,520
Yeah.

696
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,120
So as the time goes by, and again, I can't put a number on the time, like it was just,

697
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,680
Yeah, there's no time.

698
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:07,680
It was literally forever.

699
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,160
It could have been a year, it could have been a second, it could have been a week, it could

700
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:11,160
have been any time.

701
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:15,440
So as the time goes by, these doctors, the nurses, they sort of dissipate it.

702
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:19,240
They just started going behind where I couldn't see and they just pack up their tools and

703
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:20,240
they just leave.

704
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:26,600
And now it's just me laying there and my body is just laying there in this bed.

705
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:27,600
And now I'm looking for answers.

706
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,160
I'm thinking, now what happens?

707
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:34,400
And I'm just looking down on me, laying there, a mobile, just peaceful, just laying there

708
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:40,440
and just tranquility, maybe the word, like just bliss.

709
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,880
My body is just laying there.

710
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,440
And then out of nowhere, there was this transition.

711
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:50,240
I get this transition and it's almost like there's this hoover inside my brain, inside

712
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:51,240
my mind.

713
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:54,280
It's like the most powerful suction that's inside my body's mind.

714
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,800
And it sucks these eyes straight back in.

715
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,440
Like I said, there's always this transition and the eyes got transitioned back into my

716
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,320
body.

717
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:10,880
So as I'm laying there, now I've got my eyes in my own body and now I open my eyes and

718
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,320
I look up and I'm in this place where I really don't know it is.

719
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:21,560
But all I know is I'm laying in this hospital bed with this curtain that is around me, just

720
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,480
in front of me, there's this huge curtain that is surrounding my bed.

721
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,880
And now I'm thinking, now what happens?

722
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,360
I really don't know.

723
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,400
So I'm looking around and I'm looking for answers.

724
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,400
Nothing.

725
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:45,560
But then suddenly these curtains start to open up and as the curtain open up, it's supernatural,

726
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:51,640
bright white light shines through again with such intensity that I had to close my eyes.

727
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,560
So I close my eyes because it's almost like heat on my face, that's how bright it is.

728
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:03,000
But as my eyes are closed, I can feel it's like dimming down and I can feel that the

729
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,960
intensity is like getting to a point where it's safe to open my eyes.

730
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,480
So I open my eyes.

731
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:17,600
And as I do open my eyes, it was when the most profound incredible thing that I've potentially

732
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,880
ever seen and the main part of the story happened.

733
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:28,200
So I open my eyes and I remember looking out there and bearing in mind this wasn't a room,

734
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,920
this wasn't a place, it was just forever.

735
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,880
It was just forever, it went on forever.

736
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:42,040
And as I look out there, as far as I could see, just forever, I saw every single face

737
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,800
that I'd ever seen in my whole life.

738
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:50,120
Every single person that I'd ever seen in my whole life, it could have been someone that

739
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,040
I'd bumped into as a kid in the street, it could have been someone that I went on a school

740
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,200
trip with and it was someone that weren't there, it could have been anybody.

741
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:02,720
Every single face that I'd ever seen and everywhere I looked up, down, every single place I just

742
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:05,320
saw faces of people.

743
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:10,760
You know, they were in an order of importance because the closer that these faces got to

744
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,240
me, the more important that these people meant to me.

745
00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:17,520
Like it could have been a childhood friend, it could have been a family friend, to a family

746
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:23,800
member and then right at the very end of my hospital bed were my immediate family, the

747
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,000
people that really meant the most to me.

748
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:30,360
My granddad, he was there, even though he was dead, he was there right at the end of

749
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:36,160
the bed, my mum, my dad, my sister, my brothers and they were all there and they were all

750
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:41,800
just looking at me and I remember looking back at them and I looked at every single

751
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:52,560
face and I remember looking out at all of those faces and every single face that I looked

752
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:59,360
out to, it was just silently sobbing, it was just tears running down the faces of every

753
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,440
single face that I looked out to.

754
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,280
Straight away I panicked, I was nervous, I was scared.

755
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,320
The first thought that went through my mind said, what have I done wrong?

756
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,040
I really thought that I had done something really, really wrong.

757
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,440
My heart was going, I was just panicking, I was nervous, I was so scared.

758
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,400
I just thought, I've done something really, really wrong.

759
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,640
I need to grab their attention.

760
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:24,840
So I started to speak to them.

761
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:29,160
Not a single word come out of my mouth, nothing.

762
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:34,080
I tried to shout, I tried to scream, no words were coming out of my mouth.

763
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,960
So I thought, I know what I'll do, I'll try and grab their attention.

764
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:41,640
So I put my hands up to wave at them, it just looked straight through me.

765
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,640
It was like I didn't even exist.

766
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:48,360
And again, I tried forever, literally forever.

767
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,680
Every single thing that I'd done didn't work.

768
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:57,520
And I remember, I closed my eyes and I cried and I just give up on myself.

769
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:02,200
I literally closed my eyes and I started crying and I remember I just put my head back and

770
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:07,320
I dropped my head back on that pillow and the moment my head hit that pillow, that suction

771
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:11,320
again was on my head, on the top of my head with such intensity.

772
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:16,280
It sucked everything out of it, the people, the faces, the eyes, the bright white.

773
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,520
Every single thing got sucked up and out of my head and just went.

774
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:25,280
So now we're not in bright whiteness, we're in pitch black again.

775
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,880
And I'm just thinking what's happening now because I can't see anything.

776
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:35,240
Again it's pitch black but bearing in mind in this white place, it was cold.

777
00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:39,960
But now in this dark black place, my body's starting to warm up.

778
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,880
I could feel it, I could feel my body getting warm.

779
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:48,880
I couldn't see anything but in the distance I hear a beeping noise.

780
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:54,760
Beep, beep, beep.

781
00:40:54,760 --> 00:41:00,760
And in my mind I'm thinking, Ryan, you need to wake up.

782
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,440
You have work today and you're going to be so late for work.

783
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:05,920
You need to wake up now, Ryan.

784
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:10,400
Your boss is going to be so angry with you if you don't wake up now because you're going

785
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:11,400
to be so, so late.

786
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:16,360
So in my mind I just believed it was a Saturday morning and I had work on the Saturday.

787
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,240
So I'm just telling myself, wake up, you're going to be so, so late.

788
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:24,960
I believed I went out the night before and I couldn't wake up in time for work and my

789
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,000
boss is going to be so angry with me.

790
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,640
So this noise is getting faster, it's going beep, beep, beep and it's getting louder and

791
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,640
faster, louder and faster.

792
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,400
So the point I said, Ryan, wake up now.

793
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:39,400
Boom.

794
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:45,200
I actually opened my eyes and now in this moment I'm back in the real world and I look

795
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:50,880
around and I'm in this pitch black room all by myself laying there in that hospital bed

796
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:56,920
and I'm looking around and my head is so sore, my body is hurting and I look down slowly

797
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,920
at myself and I had needles all in my arm.

798
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:06,080
I had pads all on my chest and a shoe tube down my throat and I'm just thinking, where

799
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,080
am I?

800
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,080
Is this a movie?

801
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,080
Is this real?

802
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:10,080
I don't even know where I am.

803
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:18,000
I just hear this beeping inside of me, beep, beep and I remember turning my head so slowly

804
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:24,520
because it was hurting so much and I look and that beeping noise was the life support

805
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:32,920
machine that was keeping me alive this very whole time and again I look back at my body

806
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:42,560
and I look around and then I remembered everything, every single thing I remember at all.

807
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,640
It was like the only way I can explain this is like back in the day when we had computers

808
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,720
maybe 10 years ago and we used to try and open too many tabs and the computer would

809
00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:53,160
just freeze because it was too much information.

810
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:58,560
I literally had dropped in my mind every single bit of information from that night prior to

811
00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,560
when I was attacked.

812
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,040
And I remembered everything.

813
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:07,120
I remembered who it was, what people were there, what taxi it was, where we was.

814
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,800
I remembered every single thing.

815
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:17,200
That information just got dropped into my mind and I remembered it's so specific and

816
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:22,480
I cried because the pain was so bad because of the information in my mind in that time

817
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,360
was so, so painful.

818
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,560
Again it just felt like someone had smashed me over the head with a baseball bat because

819
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:33,280
it was just too much information for my mind to take in at one time and again I just cried

820
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,360
and this is now back in the real world.

821
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:39,920
I just cried my eyes out and I remember I put my head on that pillow again and I cried

822
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,240
myself to sleep.

823
00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:48,320
But then when I did wake up in the morning I woke up and I see the faces and the bodies

824
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:53,200
of my real family and they were stood there at the end of my bed the very first time that

825
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:59,200
they saw me actually woken up the first time and they were there, my mum, my dad, my brothers,

826
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,880
my sister and they were all just looking at me.

827
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,320
And I remember they were saying, he's awake.

828
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:10,480
I wonder if he knows who we are because the doctors told my parents he would never remember

829
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:11,480
any of you.

830
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,880
He won't walk it again, he won't talk again, he won't remember his own name.

831
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:20,360
And I remember my older brother comes so close to my face and he said, I wonder if he knows

832
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,360
who I am.

833
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,160
I thought, you idiot, of course I know who you are.

834
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,640
I couldn't speak, I could barely move in that moment.

835
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,480
I thought, of course I know you are.

836
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:33,400
My mum was there, she was just crying her eyes out and they were asking me things I couldn't

837
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,640
even reply.

838
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:41,400
And this is when I realised that I'm back on earth and I truly believe from that whole

839
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:46,360
experience just to sort of finish this part off that I believe we're all here for a special

840
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,880
reason.

841
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:52,040
Some people find out why they're here on earth and others don't sadly.

842
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:56,240
But I believe that I had to go through that experience to really discover who I truly

843
00:44:56,240 --> 00:45:01,040
am and I believe that I was put on this planet to help other people discover who they truly

844
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:02,040
are.

845
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:09,320
Doing the research now looking back, I honestly believe that I was sent back here to earth.

846
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:14,640
My life was spared because I hadn't yet finished the job that I was sent here to do in the

847
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:19,400
first place and that's why my maker, my creator, sent me back to complete the mission that

848
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,920
I was sent to do.

849
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:24,520
And this is why the people were crying, that's why all those faces were crying because they

850
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,160
knew I hadn't fulfilled my potential.

851
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,280
And because I hadn't done that, they were crying because they were still trapped in

852
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,000
a place where they didn't want to be because I was the person that was here to guide them,

853
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,120
to show them the way.

854
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,320
Because I hadn't done that yet, they were all just crying their eyes out.

855
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,360
Because in that moment, that was the end of me, Ryan Nurse was no more.

856
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:47,480
And you know, looking back, my family used to say like, Ryan, you're like a cat with

857
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:48,480
nine lives.

858
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:53,000
There were so many times when I had like almost death, like knocking on my door, like crazy

859
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,680
things when I was a kid, like, I would do stunts on my body, well, I was knocked out

860
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,400
many, many times, I would walk out in front of buses, cars for instance.

861
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,920
Like, mum, my poor mum, how I didn't die when I was a kid many times.

862
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,040
And people say, Ryan, you're a cat with nine lives.

863
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:12,880
But you know, this is the last, this is the last life that I would ever need.

864
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:18,440
Because I don't need anymore, because I know now I'm here for a purpose and I found my

865
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:19,440
purpose.

866
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:24,520
And this is the life that I'm going to truly make count.

867
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,960
I can't wait to meet your parents.

868
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,560
They sound awesome.

869
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,520
Let alone saved your life.

870
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:35,120
And sometime way, way down the road, when we're both on the other side, you introduced

871
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,920
me to your granddad too.

872
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:38,520
Sure, deal.

873
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:39,520
100%.

874
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,020
All right.

875
00:46:41,020 --> 00:46:46,320
I have a question about, you said that you met, you saw everyone that you had ever met

876
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:47,600
in your life.

877
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,200
Was there any kind of interaction?

878
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,240
Was there any memory of experiences you had?

879
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:55,760
Or just like seeing a stadium full of people?

880
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,800
It wasn't even, it was just a white space that went on forever.

881
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:03,680
It was just, everywhere was filled, this white space, like it was just filled with faces.

882
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:09,560
So it wasn't so much part of a life review as it was just a glimpse at all these people.

883
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,480
It was the people that I'd seen.

884
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,200
I would see them, maybe I wouldn't even say the words of them.

885
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,240
Maybe it was like a bump into them in the street and went, oops, it could have been

886
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:19,240
anything.

887
00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:21,040
But I'd seen them at one point in my life.

888
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,200
I would have seen them somewhere.

889
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,720
And it was every single face that I'd ever seen.

890
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:29,120
They were all looking at me and all crying, just tears coming from their face.

891
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:30,280
Okay.

892
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,040
You said that you came back with a purpose.

893
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,600
Are you familiar with what mission statements are?

894
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:36,600
Yes.

895
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,560
Like businesses and stuff have them?

896
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:39,400
Sure.

897
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:44,160
Can you put that purpose into a one or two sentence like a mission statement?

898
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,920
What's your purpose?

899
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:54,080
So my purpose is to help confused adults discover, design and live their dream life by showing

900
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:55,080
them the way.

901
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:59,680
Because obviously I took my life from deathbed to sunbed, from depression to progression,

902
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:02,680
from calamity to crystal clear clarity.

903
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:08,120
But I believe my mission is to use the knowledge I've gained from facing and overcoming the

904
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:13,480
adversities in my life to help other adults discover and design the life of their dreams

905
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:17,160
and to become the very best version of themselves.

906
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,160
Excellent answer.

907
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:19,160
Okay.

908
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:20,640
I want to hit on a couple of other things.

909
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:26,940
The first one is you mentioned to me before that you've written a book and people can

910
00:48:26,940 --> 00:48:28,600
find it on your website.

911
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,160
That'll be in the show notes.

912
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,720
Give us the very brief, what's your book called?

913
00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:34,720
What's it about?

914
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:38,040
So this one isn't really to do with the out of body experience.

915
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,480
There is a bit in there about that, but this book is called Sort Your Shout.

916
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,480
And it's literally how to build the life of your dreams.

917
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:48,120
Because at one point in my life, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.

918
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,120
I was so confused.

919
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:53,040
I've faced and overcome many adversities in my life.

920
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,760
The point where I am today, I've been living my dream life for the last few years and I'm

921
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,160
living it on a daily basis.

922
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,920
And how I'm here now is crazy.

923
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:05,960
And I obviously had to go through the steps myself to actually achieve this.

924
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:10,800
Try what I am called to put this into writing, into a step by step easy process for other

925
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,800
adults to do the same.

926
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:17,280
So look, for a fraction of the cost that's a couple of cups of coffee, you can get your

927
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,280
hands on this.

928
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,760
To actually build the life of your dreams.

929
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,080
And then I'll be soon writing my next book as well.

930
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:28,720
So this one, you can head over to sortyourshutout.ryannurse.com and you can get it there.

931
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:32,960
Or you can head over to Amazon and type in sortyourshutout and you can get a copy.

932
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,240
But my next book, which I'm going to be writing this year and publishing this year, it's going

933
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:41,360
to be called Dying with Regrets.

934
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,120
That's an awesome title.

935
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:48,360
Your first one, by the way, there are quite a few other books on Amazon by the same title.

936
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:53,200
So be sure to look for the one by Ryan Nurse or just go to his website.

937
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,480
Okay.

938
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:58,280
You gave us a minute ago, a perfect ending to this podcast.

939
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,080
I should have just cut it off right there.

940
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:04,760
But I wanted to hear about your book and I think other people like me are going to be

941
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:05,920
curious.

942
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:14,080
Was there any kind of resolution to this whole thing with, I mean, these guys just attacked

943
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:17,280
you, unprovoked.

944
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,160
There was a lot of damage.

945
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,160
What happened to them?

946
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,480
I mean, were they arrested?

947
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,480
Things like that.

948
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:23,480
Yeah.

949
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,400
So obviously the guys were found straight away.

950
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,560
Like the place where we live is so small and like everyone knows everyone.

951
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,840
People talk, so these guys got found straight away.

952
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,000
They know who it was.

953
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:38,760
To round up the story, we found out the reason why we got removed from the taxi because the

954
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:44,000
first taxi that we got into was actually these guys' friend, the driver was their friend.

955
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,480
So there wasn't four guys attacking us.

956
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,000
There was five guys attacking us.

957
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,000
It's very mind-nose.

958
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,680
Me, two younger friends and a girl.

959
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,120
So it wasn't, say, a fair fight anyway.

960
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,480
And they just beat the crap out of us.

961
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:58,000
Well besides you were seatbelted, you had no chance.

962
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,000
I was seatbelted.

963
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,000
I had nowhere to go.

964
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,000
I couldn't even get myself away.

965
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000
Yeah.

966
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,000
You had zero chance.

967
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,000
I had literally zero chance.

968
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:05,000
So it wasn't a fight.

969
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,000
It was just being beaten up basically.

970
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,000
So yeah.

971
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,280
So obviously it went to court.

972
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,640
It went to court many, many times and the jury couldn't agree on one thing and they

973
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:19,400
couldn't agree on one other thing and it kept getting adjourned and adjourned.

974
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,600
And like for me, I'd never been to court in my life.

975
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:26,720
So as an 18-19-year-old boy at the time, it was just such trauma for me.

976
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:28,040
It was so horrific.

977
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:33,400
I remember at one point, I was in my old career, I was a car mechanic and I was there.

978
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,880
My dad just turns up to the garage one afternoon and he's like panicking.

979
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:37,880
He's nervous.

980
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:38,880
He's just been rushing.

981
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,640
He's like, you need to be in court now.

982
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,560
And bearing in mind, I had ovals on, oil all over me.

983
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,240
I had like a car in bits.

984
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:47,040
The customer wants the car back.

985
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:48,440
I'm just like, I don't want to go.

986
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:49,840
And he's like, no, you need to go.

987
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:50,840
The judge has called you in.

988
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:51,840
You need to be there.

989
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:53,720
I remember just crying the whole way.

990
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,040
I'd get into court and I just didn't want to be there.

991
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:59,160
It was just so much pressure for me as a young boy.

992
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:03,320
And I had to go there because I remember when the police come to my bed when I first woke

993
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,520
up, I wrote a written statement of exactly what happened.

994
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,440
And because one of my eyes was busted, it was upwards.

995
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:13,040
The letter went from big letters to small and it went bent down.

996
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,560
And I read back everything and the jury couldn't believe it.

997
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:21,200
So in the end, yeah, there was, I think, a couple of guys out of the five of them went

998
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,200
to prison.

999
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:26,720
I think one got a year and was no, one got like eight or six months, whatever it was.

1000
00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:27,720
It wasn't long.

1001
00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:30,920
I think he's got a bit of community service in the end.

1002
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:35,280
The guy that attacked me was actually the taxi driver from the other taxi or like the

1003
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,280
first taxi.

1004
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,440
And he got 18 months, I believe, and was out in a year.

1005
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,520
So people say to me, look, you didn't get justice there.

1006
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,720
Like they should have got five, 10 years.

1007
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,480
They should have got this, that and the other.

1008
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:48,720
But what is the price of a life?

1009
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:51,320
How many years in prison for someone should it be for a life?

1010
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,360
Would you say, would you argue it should be a life for a life?

1011
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:55,360
I don't know.

1012
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:56,360
Some people have different opinions.

1013
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,160
But what is the price of a life?

1014
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:02,000
So if you're listening to this now, let me tell you, a price of your life is absolutely

1015
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,680
price less.

1016
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,960
You can't put a price on anybody's life.

1017
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:11,920
So for me, waking up and being where I am today, I'm so grateful for all of that past

1018
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:16,480
pain and the people that I once believed were the source of my suffering because I had to

1019
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,760
go through that stuff in order to get to the place where I am today.

1020
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,200
So no justice for a life is good enough.

1021
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,520
So for me, it was just forgiveness.

1022
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,480
I forgive those people because all of those things that those people once done to me in

1023
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,320
the past, whether it is that, whether it is other things that happened because many other

1024
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:34,840
things happened in my life.

1025
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:41,080
But I forgive every single person that I believed or perceived what caused me pain in the past

1026
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:46,200
because pain is inevitable.

1027
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:47,200
Suffering is optional.

1028
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:51,480
You can either be a victim or a victor of your past.

1029
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:56,160
And if you're still suffering today, you, my friend, are a volunteer.

1030
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:02,720
So you need to forgive and move on because it's not like forgive and forget.

1031
00:54:02,720 --> 00:54:09,120
It's forgive and move on because those people that you say potentially have pain or anger

1032
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:12,640
towards them, they've already moved on with their life.

1033
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:17,880
So you need to forgive them because anger is such a strong word.

1034
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:23,800
Anger is one letter away from the word danger.

1035
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:27,920
Anger is the wind that blows out the lamp of the mind and holding on to anger is like

1036
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:31,320
drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

1037
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:35,040
It is forgiveness that is the antidote.

1038
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,800
But it's not always that easy.

1039
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,120
Sometimes we want to forgive.

1040
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,800
What's your secret to forgiveness?

1041
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,400
It's just knowing that if you don't forgive that person for what they've done to those

1042
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:49,560
people or that situation that was potentially out of your control.

1043
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,720
Like for me, I didn't want that to happen to me.

1044
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:55,960
But I was in, say, the right place at the right time or the wrong place at the right

1045
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:56,960
time.

1046
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,640
But if that didn't happen, would I be where I am today?

1047
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,360
Would I have wrote my book here that I've got in my hand?

1048
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,760
Would I have helped the people that I've helped on a global scale?

1049
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,520
Would I have been speaking on stages across the world?

1050
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:07,920
Would I have podcasts?

1051
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:09,840
Would I be doing the things that I'm doing today?

1052
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:11,320
Potentially not.

1053
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:12,800
I could have been living that life.

1054
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:13,800
That wasn't fulfilling.

1055
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:19,320
That was just the mundane, the average life that society says that we need to live.

1056
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:20,320
No.

1057
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,640
So what is the secret to forgiving?

1058
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,960
Knowing that forgiving isn't for anybody else.

1059
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,640
It isn't for them.

1060
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:27,640
It's for you.

1061
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:33,520
Because if you don't forgive and move on and accept the certain situations and things

1062
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:37,160
and people and what have happened into your life, if you don't accept them for happening

1063
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:41,280
the way that they happened and understanding that potentially you didn't do it.

1064
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,640
You didn't have control over what happened.

1065
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,400
And whether we like it or not, we will hold our own responsibility.

1066
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,800
We will play the part in our life's journey.

1067
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,280
But I was in that situation.

1068
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,280
I didn't have to go to the club that night, but I wanted to go.

1069
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:58,680
So I hold responsible for that, for being there.

1070
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:04,880
But if you don't forgive, that situation, those people, that painful event, is going

1071
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,800
to hold a piece of you for the rest of your life.

1072
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:11,480
And you'll never be able to get through your life without feeling pain in some sort of

1073
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:12,480
way.

1074
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,360
And you'll never truly get past what had happened to you.

1075
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,160
And you'll always hold a piece of resentment inside of you.

1076
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,320
And it's going to eat you up for the rest of your life.

1077
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,920
So you need to forgive and know that it's going to set you free.

1078
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:28,800
So forgiveness is freedom, my friends.

1079
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,280
So Ryan, any last message for us?

1080
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:32,280
Yes.

1081
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,480
So I have something that I'd like to take you through, guys, here.

1082
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:36,480
It's a little journey.

1083
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,640
I just want you to go with me on this one.

1084
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:40,240
Just use your imagination.

1085
00:56:40,240 --> 00:56:43,680
So envision this.

1086
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:49,960
Just imagine you managed to meet your maker, your creator.

1087
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:53,760
And they said to you, how was your time on Earth?

1088
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,520
Did you do all of the things that you wanted to do?

1089
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,440
Go all of the places where you wanted to go.

1090
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,000
Say all of the things that you wanted to say.

1091
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,000
And you said, no.

1092
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,000
No, I didn't.

1093
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,360
So they invite you to sit down at this desk.

1094
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:13,720
And on this desk are two big books.

1095
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:20,600
And they point at the first book and say, this is the manual that I had created for your

1096
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:21,600
life.

1097
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:26,440
So you pick it up and you begin to flick through.

1098
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:31,240
And you see all of your life start to unfold, all of those magical maternal moments in the

1099
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,960
arms of your magnificent mother.

1100
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:37,840
All of those fun times growing up through childhood, teenagers, early adulthood.

1101
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:42,040
And then you start to see all of these amazing things.

1102
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,600
All of the things that you were too scared to do.

1103
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:50,920
So you look at the second book and you pick it up and you flick through.

1104
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,120
And of course, this is your life.

1105
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:54,760
Your life up to today.

1106
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:58,680
Yeah, it's been an OK life.

1107
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:06,720
And then suddenly you're flicking through pages of blank nothingness, absolutely nothing.

1108
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:12,760
And you're instantly overwhelmed with resentment, responsibility and regret.

1109
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:19,960
Knowing full well, you can never reapply to return and reattempt to relive the life that

1110
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,640
was created for you all along.

1111
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,480
Because that is it.

1112
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:26,480
It's over.

1113
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,840
There's no going back.

1114
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:34,360
But people, I just want you to realize that your dream life is right there, right in front

1115
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:36,560
of you, ready for the taking.

1116
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:42,720
But you just have to reach out and grab it with both hands.

1117
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:47,000
So whatever you do, people, don't wait for the manual.

1118
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Make the manual.

1119
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:53,440
Because if regret is something that you're going to take to the tomb with you, do not

1120
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:58,480
take your greatness to the grave because so many people have such greatness inside of

1121
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,160
them waiting to be shared with the world.

1122
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:06,560
But they're not doing it because they honestly believe they're going to wake up tomorrow.

1123
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:11,040
Not many things in life are 100% guaranteed, my friends.

1124
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:16,280
But two things are that we are all born and we will all die.

1125
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:22,680
It's what we do with the opportunity between these two events that really matter most.

1126
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:29,920
So please do make the very most out of your unique thought that you have on this earth.

1127
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,120
Thank you so much.

1128
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:33,120
Well said, Ryan.

1129
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:36,080
Thanks for being on with us.

1130
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,880
Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast.

1131
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:44,960
Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtriptest.com.

1132
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:49,240
If you want to share your near-death experience or if you have questions or comments about

1133
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:53,520
the show, send an email to ericatroundtriptest.com.

1134
00:59:53,520 --> 01:00:22,240
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.