From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.
They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.
And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my
physical body because I was somewhere else.
The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't
anything else to be felt.
I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.
I'm back home again.
Incredibly safe and felt at home.
Welcome, welcome to Roundtrip Death, everybody, and welcome to our special guest, Ryan Nurse.
How are you this morning, Ryan?
I am very well.
Thank you, my friend.
And thank you so much for having me.
How are you?
I'm doing great today.
It is a beautiful, sunny, almost spring-like, cold, but sort of spring-like day here in
the mountains of Utah, but you're in a very different environment.
Tell everybody where you live and what you're doing there.
So I've actually been living in almost every country now from Mexico down to Brazil and
back up.
I'm actually based here in Colombia right now.
I've been living in Colombia for the last five months, and I will actually be here in
Medellin where I currently am now for one more week before I head to Venezuela.
Okay.
You do not have a Central American accent.
Where are you from?
So I'm from England, sort of Southeast England on the outskirts of London.
Okay.
But why Central America?
What are you doing there?
So look, I always listen to my intuition.
And back in 2021, it was almost like I had a call in to go to Latin America, something
which just kept telling me, go to Mexico, go to Mexico.
And one morning I sort of felt like my life had almost flatlined, and in life, if we're
not growing, I believe we're dying.
So I said, I need to really push myself so far out of my comfort zone and do something
sort of big and bold.
And with that being said, I literally picked up my credit card.
I booked one-way ticket to Mexico, and I literally left the very next week and haven't looked
back since.
I went from Mexico, every country down from Mexico, Central America, made my way all the
way down to Brazil.
And then I started to come back up and, yeah, I'm back here in Colombia right now.
Well, living the dream, love to hear about it.
By the way, just a little interjection for everybody listening.
The internet service in Colombia isn't always as fast as what we're used to.
Ryan's voice is going in and out slightly.
Please put up with it.
It will be worth it because his story is awesome.
So let's jump right in if you don't mind.
You had, oh, wow, a horrific thing happen to you.
And you can go into as much or little detail as you're comfortable with, Ryan.
But let's go back just a few years.
You were in the UK.
What happened on this dreadful night?
Yeah.
So look, I'm happy to talk about all of it.
And thank you as well for bearing with me with the sound regarding, obviously, the Wi-Fi,
because it is Colombia and it is a bit of a fee.
But you said something horrific.
And obviously what happened to me was absolutely horrendous.
And mainly for my family, it was actually even worse.
Because for me, I was just sort of laying there.
But the choices, the decisions and the things that my family had to go was absolutely, yeah,
unimaginable.
But for me, also, now looking back, you know, I realize that sometimes your most profound
periods of pain can actually also turn out to be your greatest gifts of growth.
So let me talk to you about what actually happened to me on this night.
So back in 2011, as an 18-year-old boy, there was this one specific nightclub that was maybe
five to 10 minutes maximum away from where I lived.
And me and my friends would always go to this nightclub, sometimes even three times a week.
That's how local it was.
And that's how much we enjoyed it.
We knew everybody there.
So one weekend, we decided to go to the nightclub, as we usually did.
But we noticed that there was this group of guys there that were sort of like outsiders.
They wasn't from, say, the normal surroundings, like the normal area, because we would have
known them and we didn't know them.
And these guys looked like they were out to cause trouble this night.
So we were just sort of dancing.
We were just planting.
And the music was pumping.
The drinks were flowing.
And we were literally dancing the night away.
But then these guys decided to have an argument with some of our older friends.
And obviously us younger guys and some girls there as well, we were sort of just watching
it all unfold.
And nothing really happened.
It was just a bit of pushing and shoving and a bit of sort of shirt tugging.
And that was it.
It got broken up and everything was fine, what we thought.
And a few hours later, me and my friends decided to leave the club and we got into a taxi.
But then we got into this taxi.
And as we started to leave the car park, we noticed that these same lads or sort of older
guys, they come out of the club and they actually come over to our taxi and they removed us from
our taxi.
So bearing in mind, we were sort of 18 year old guys, we were like boys basically.
And they're 26, 27, 28.
So they're sort of like men compared to us.
And they literally said, this is our taxi.
And they literally pulled us out of the taxi.
So with that being said, there was a bit of say disagreement, I guess.
And we was obviously saying that it was our taxi.
And then all of a sudden they're saying that they booked it first.
And then the driver turned and sort of sided with them, which we couldn't really believe.
And then things started to make sense, obviously, as we go through the story.
But we decided it'd be wise to get into a separate taxi to obviously make it back to
the safety of our parents' homes.
So we got into the taxi, we left the car park, we turned left, and then we turned left again
onto what is a dark, unlit road.
So as we're driving down this road, obviously things are pitch black.
But then we noticed the same bright white headlights of that vehicle that we just got
distracted from filled the whole interior of our taxi.
And out of nowhere, this loud, angry voice started shouting for our driver's walkie-talkie
demanding that we pull over.
So our driver began to slow the vehicle.
And he started to indicate, and he started to stop.
And he pulled it up onto the path.
So we started saying to the driver, like, what are you doing?
And why are you stopping?
Like, what's the reason for you for stopping?
It was just silence.
He didn't say a single word.
So me and my friends were just looking at each other.
And we was confused.
We didn't have a clue what was going on.
And as the driver stopped, he turned the vehicle off.
And that same vehicle with those angry men in pulled up behind us and they switched their
lights off.
So those two drivers must have known each other.
Possibly.
You know, because it's quite a small local area, a lot of the drivers do know each other.
A lot of the people know each other as well.
So with this being said, our driver was just sat there and his car pulled up behind us,
switched his lights off.
And then there was this sort of eerie sound of silence because me and my friends, we were
all looking at each other thinking, what happens now?
What happens next?
Yeah.
You don't dare get out.
So no, we were just sat there just pleading with our driver, just asking him, like, just
go, like, leave.
There's nothing, not doing anything.
He didn't say a word, he didn't even turn around.
And it's literally something out of nowhere.
There was this really loud knock on the passenger front window to which my friend was sat in
that seat.
So he opened the window and he started to ask, what's the problem?
What is the issue?
But as soon as he opened the window, he began to get punched through the window by one of
the guys.
So me and my friends all panicked and we started to open our doors to try and stop this madness
from happening.
As I opened my door, I was greeted with the same fist.
I didn't even have a chance to take my seatbelt off and I was glued to the back of my seat
like a sitting duck.
And this guy was just pummeling in the side of my head over and over again.
It was like 10, 20, 30 times.
It just kept going on and on and on.
It was like a hammer drill to the head.
It just didn't stop.
I was panicking, obviously.
I was trying to get my buckle undone because of the sheer pressure and the force and the
panic.
The seatbelt was doing what a seatbelt should do, which was to lock.
And I couldn't get the buckle undone.
So bearing in mind, I'm getting pummeled in the side of my head by this guy and I'm trying
to get my belt undone and it just wouldn't undo.
And as the guys just pounded my head in, at one moment, the only thought that went through
my mind said, this is how you're going to die.
Like, Ryan, this is how you're going to die.
Ryan, you need to get the belt undone.
You need to get the belt undone.
And I was pushing it as hard as I possibly can and then pop.
It went.
And it was this pressure, just relief from my body.
We lost you for just a second.
Was this you said a voice in your head?
Yeah.
So I had a voice in my head just telling me, this is how you are going to die.
And I honestly believed in that moment I was going to die.
The force that this guy was punching me with, it was unbelievable.
It was almost like he was hitting me with a baseball bat.
It was that hard.
And I just thought, I'm not going to get out of this taxi alive.
But I did.
I popped the buckle.
I released the pressure and I managed to get out of the driver's rear door.
So I opened the door and as I sort of popped the buckle, the punching stopped.
I got out of this door and I just run down the side road because I knew the area quite
well.
I run down the side road and I sort of just hid in a bush.
And as I hid in the bush, I called a friend.
For whatever reason, I just didn't want swinger calling the paramedics or the police.
I just thought I'll ring my friend because he lives closed and he's with his girlfriend.
They have a car and they can come and pick me up.
Because in that moment, I just wanted to get back to the safety of my parents' home.
I just wanted to go to bed.
So I called my friend and he said he's going to be there in any moment.
And I was just hiding in this bush, panicking.
Before you go on, can I just ask how many other people were in the car and what was happening
to them?
So what it was, it was me, two of my younger guy friends and one of our girlfriends who
was a little bit older than us.
So there was me, two guys and one girl, so four of us.
But bearing in mind, when I got out of the taxi, I looked back to all the madness that
was unfolding.
And I see my guy friends getting beaten up by the guys.
I see my girl friend of ours, she was getting beaten up by the guys as well.
And these guys, these five guys were all attacking us.
Bearing in mind one of them is a taxi driver.
He was also attacking my friends as well.
And I just see this madness unfolding.
And I couldn't believe it was like something of a movie.
So I just had to call for help.
I had to call for someone to come and pick us up straight away.
So I run down this side road and I just thought, I need to ring my friend because I know they
have a car and they can come and get us so quick.
So I just called my friend, but my heavy head was so, it was just spinning round and round.
It was like this gyroscopic feeling that was just going round and round and round.
I could barely keep my head up.
And I was just mumbling these words to my friend like, you need to pick us up now.
And a little bit of time went past.
I don't really know how long, maybe five or 10 minutes went past.
And my friend, they arrived in the car, my friend and his girlfriend, they arrived in
the car and they waved me and said, come on, get in, get in.
So I run and I get into the car and we actually went back the same way of where the attack
was.
So we had to go and pick up another, another girl, another lady from the car park.
So as we drive back, nobody was there.
It all stopped.
And my heavy head was just spinning round and round.
And we picked up this other friend of ours and she said, look, you need to get this guy
to hospital.
Like you need to take this boy to hospital now.
And my heavy head was just falling down.
But I couldn't keep it up.
And at one point I just, I rested it on the window ledge to try and hold it up.
But even then, every bump that we went over in the car, my head just fell down.
Now, I remember my friend said to me, like, we need to take you to hospital now.
And I said, no, like I just want my bed.
I need to go back home.
And he was saying, look, Ryan, we need to take you to hospital.
Like, please let us take you.
And I just literally forced him and pleaded with him to take me back to my parents' home.
And he did.
And I remember just as we, as we pulled up outside my parents' house, he said, like,
please, please, please ring me in the morning and make sure you're okay.
And I said, yes, everything's going to be fine in the morning.
Because in that moment, I just believed that I just had a few drinks.
I've been beaten up and I'll be perfect in the morning.
I'll be back to normal.
And then I get out of the car and I stumbled up the driveway to my parents' home.
I put my hand on the handle.
I opened the door and I just walked through.
And after that, I don't remember a single thing.
So now I can only speak to you from my parents' point of view.
Okay.
And while they must have been terrified, what time in the morning was this?
So this was around, from my memory, my mom told me around 5 a.m. in the morning.
So this is now on a Sunday morning, 5 a.m.
Okay.
And I was very, very worried.
My mom, she always used to wait up for us kids.
Like, who is going on a night out?
She'd be there at the top of the stairs waiting until we got home.
This night, she knew something wasn't right, quite right, because it was 5 a.m.
Never once did I get home at 5 a.m.
Never.
The latest probably was around 4 a.m.
And this is like, ever.
This is like a late, late night.
Most of the nights, it was between 3 and half, 3.
I'd get back.
My mom knew the times I'd get back, but this night, it was later than usual.
And apparently, I just walked up the stairs and I walked past her.
She said to me, Ryan, you're okay.
Like, is everything okay?
Where have you been?
And I just had this blank look on my face and I just walked right past her.
And then what did I do?
I took my clothes off and I folded them up as I usually did.
I put them nice and neatly down at the side of my bed and I got into bed.
My mom was watching me and I wasn't even looking at her.
And I just got into bed and I closed my eyes.
So as the minutes and the hours sort of went by, she was monitoring me the whole time because
she knew something wasn't right.
She said that was snoring, like really, really loudly snoring.
It wasn't normal for me.
And then suddenly I started vomiting this jet black, almost projectile vomit.
So my mom comes in and saying, like, what's happening, Ryan?
And no response.
Just this vomit just kept coming out and out of my mouth.
She goes and sees my dad and says, look, something's really wrong with Ryan.
He's vomiting this jet black vomit.
But look, my dad being my dad, like my dad is my best friend.
And my dad being my dad just said to my mom, he just had way too much to drink.
He's probably been on these black Zambuca shots and he's thought he's cool with his
friends and he's done all these black Zambuca.
They probably bought a bottle and done it between them.
It'd be fine in the morning.
Don't worry, it'd be fine.
Just give him a few hours.
He'll wake up, he'll be fine.
But my mom, you know, with those maternal instincts, knew that her son wasn't right,
knew that something was really wrong.
So she would just monitor me again and again and again.
And I started vomiting once more.
This jet black vomit just kept coming out of my mouth.
And bearing in mind my younger brother, who was around nine years old at the time, he
was in that same bedroom with me on the top of the bunk bed, looking, watching me.
Just looking at his brother, just thinking, what is happening?
Like, you've never seen anything like this before.
And then thankfully for me, my older brother gets a call from a friend to say, how is Ryan
doing?
Is everything okay?
Bearing in mind my brother knows nothing that's happening.
He said, why wouldn't Ryan be okay?
And then this friend told my brother, they had a fight.
It was this big argument and ended up getting beaten up on the way home.
So bearing in mind, this has just happened, my older brother was straight on the phone
to my mom and dad saying, like, you need to wake Ryan up now.
Like, make sure he's Ryan's okay.
I wake him up.
So my parents rush into the room saying, Ryan, wake up, are you okay?
I was completely unresponsive.
So with that being said, the paramedics were called and there was multiple ambulances outside
of my house.
And my dad said it was like all hell broke loose.
Like there was paramedics just come rushing up into my bedroom and there was many, many
paramedics coming into my room.
There was walkie talkies.
There was sirens.
There was beeping.
There was just noises that my parents never heard before.
There was like a TV series or a documentary or a movie.
It was crazy.
Before you know it, they had me on that stretcher.
They took me downstairs and they got me into the back of the ambulance.
So my dad stayed at home to look after my younger brother and the rest of my siblings.
My mom went into a separate ambulance, followed me in pursuit.
And we arrived at the first hospital, which is maybe 40 minutes to an hour away.
And obviously my mom arrived in the separate ambulance, she said, when I arrived, they
had already taken me in.
So my mom's now all alone in the hospital looking for answers, trying to figure out what had
happened to her son.
So she was sat there in that waiting room, confused, didn't know what was going on.
As the paramedics and the doctors and nurses come by, my mom's just pleading with them,
like please tell me some answers.
Like where is my son?
What's happening?
They said they don't know.
Nothing.
And as the time goes by, my mom tells me she was sat there, that she hears a voice down
the corridor.
She starts smiling, she starts being happy and feeling good.
She heard my voice down that corridor.
This huge sense of relief was just like, oh my God, he's OK.
So she follows that voice and she just doesn't know where she's going.
She's walking down this corridor, just looking for the voice, listening, listening, listening.
She hears it coming from the dorm.
So she goes into that room and the voice wasn't mine.
It was another boy and it wasn't my voice.
So bearing in mind, my mom is now up here and she's excited, she's happy.
So she gets dropped straight back down to earth to realize that it wasn't her son.
So she goes back to that waiting room and again, every doctor, every nurse that comes
by, she asks them, where is my son?
His name's Ryan Nurse.
Where is he?
Like what's happening to him?
Nothing.
And then suddenly a doctor, a nurse comes out and says to my mom, look, we've prepared
Ryan, we've prepared him ready for an operation.
He needs to go into surgery.
We need to take him by air ambulance to a specialist hospital.
He needs an emergency brain operation right now.
So bearing in mind, I was just laying in my bed a few hours before and my mom's being
told, your son needs an emergency brain operation.
Yeah, this is the very first thing that she's heard about your condition, right?
She doesn't know what happened.
No, any parent listening out there, just imagine if that was your son, for instance.
How would you feel in this moment?
Wow, how terrifying.
So my mom is just like, what is going on?
Because there's no signs of bleeding, there's no blood, no bruising, no sign of trauma at
all.
So my mom's saying, how can this happen?
Look, they didn't take me by air ambulance, by helicopter.
They actually took me in the ambulance, but they rushed me there on the blue lights.
And as they sort of cut me out into the ambulance, my dad just actually arrived in the car.
So as my ambulance leaves with me in it, my parents obviously follow in their car in
pursuit to try and obviously keep up with us.
So I obviously make it to the hospital way before my parents.
And then my parents said that they arrived there around sort of 4, 5 p.m., I believe,
or maybe a little bit earlier, actually, because what happens when my parents arrived?
They didn't have a clue where I was.
I just went in for this emergency operation.
So my dad and my mom are asking every doctor, every nurse, every receptionist, where's my
son, his name's Ryan Nurse, where is he?
We don't know, we don't know where this guy is.
They were going around for hours, my dad is stressing out, he's screaming, he's shouting
at people, asking for answers.
Nobody knows.
So bear in mind, my parents are in this hospital, that is huge.
And they just up and down the stairs asking every single person they see.
And then finally, they located me and the operation was done.
And look, my parents said around 6 p.m., they got to see me and I was laying there in that
intensive care unit on a large support machine because I had to be rushed into hospital because
I suffered from a fractured skull and a blood clot due to a bleed on the brain.
I had to have that an emergency brain operation because all that stuff that was going on internally,
if that wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have survived.
They told my parents when they finally got to see me that the severity of my injuries
was so bad that if they would have waited any longer, I would have died at home in that
bed because the blood was just pouring out into my skull and it was just pushing my brain
down my spine because there was no way for it to go.
So just imagine that, any parents that are listening.
I can't even imagine.
I have adult children and that just is terrifying.
Children and 18s barely an adult.
Holy cow.
We haven't even talked about near-death experience yet.
I feel like I need to take a deep breath after that.
That's exciting and terrifying and like I said, horrific.
Okay, so we're going to come back to all the physical stuff that happened and your recovery
from this.
In a nutshell, I believe the doctors at this point after surgery put you in an induced coma,
correct?
Yes, that's correct.
Okay.
And is this where you felt like you had a near-death experience?
Yes.
So I was in induced coma straight away on the first day, obviously.
When the doctors told my parents, look, he's never going to wake up from this.
Go and tell your friend's family.
He's never going to wake up.
On the third day, they told my parents again, because there's zero brain activity, you need
to pull the plug.
And that's when my dad saved my life because my dad said no way, which allowed them to
keep it on for a few more days.
And in total, I was in that induced coma for one week.
The day they reduced the patient to try and bring me out of the coma, my lungs weren't
functioning by themselves.
So I had to be put straight back into the coma.
And again, they were telling my parents, like, if he ever comes through from this, if he
ever wakes up, he will never walk or talk again and will be in a vegetative state for the
rest of his life.
My parents insisted they keep it on.
And they did.
And then the second time, they reduced the patient and my lungs, I started to function
by myself.
But bearing in mind, I didn't just wake up, open my eyes and start to talk to people.
It was just a mind on the machine to say that my lungs were working.
But then this is when I believe when things started happening and when I actually experienced
this out of body experience, just before actually waking up back in the real world, like back
on Earth, when I actually physically opened my eyes and saw people, like real people,
I actually was gifted an out of body experience.
And I'm going to explain this now.
And I truly believe that we as humans don't really know the true meaning of life.
And when we do is when we actually experience death.
And let me talk to you about why I believe that.
So in this out of body experience, I'm going to talk a little bit about when I was a child,
just for a couple of seconds here, because we all hear these things online in newspapers,
for instance, it used to be on the television.
Like people see these out of body experience and something traumatic happens in their lives.
And what happens?
They go through these out of body experience where they might see a bright light or they
might see themselves or their families or their whole life might unfold in front of
their eyes.
And as much as these were really sort of cool stories when I was a child, we used to talk
about these things in the playground at school.
And we all had our own ideas of what it could be when you die, for instance.
And I never believed in any of that.
I was such an atheist, like I never believed in a God.
And I just didn't believe in anything.
It was just like, we are born, we die, and then that is it.
But now I truly believe that something or someone knows a lot more than we know.
And what happens to us after?
I don't know, but you can make your own opinion from my own story.
But for me, I was in that out of body experience and let me talk to you about it now.
So this is now in the out of body experience.
I remember looking down at myself through the eyes of someone or something else, whether
it's my creator, my maker, I don't really know.
But I was looking down at me for a set of someone else's eyes.
And I was looking down at me laying there in that hospital bed.
And I was outside.
And there was these two huge, big black ladies, and they were pushing me on this hospital
bed.
And we're going down this cobbled street.
And I saw this whole thing unfold and it was so picture perfect.
It was like 5K, but better.
It was so pristine, this experience.
And everything was just bright and it was just crystal clear clarity and the quality
was insane.
And I was just watching myself being pushed down this cobbled street.
And these two black ladies are just talking in this unknown language.
Like it wasn't French, it wasn't Spanish, it wasn't Portuguese.
It wasn't English.
It was just a language that I didn't have a clue what it was.
I never heard anything like it before.
I didn't have a clue what they were saying.
But they were just talking.
And it wasn't like they were arguing, but they were having like a heated conversation.
I'm just trying to figure out what they're saying.
I didn't know.
And they're pushing me down this cobbled street.
And because it's cobbled, the bed that I'm on is like bumping.
And as it's bumping, me, my body was sort of sliding down the bed.
And as we're going down this street, it's going down and down and down.
And the bed is just bumping and bumping.
And my body is slowly juddering down this bed.
And I just hear this voice whispering in my ear, wherever my ear is, but these eyes and
here, his voice is whispering saying, I just kept saying, they're going to drop him.
They're going to drop him.
And I just believe that they're going to drop me off the end of the bed.
And as my legs started to come off the end of the bed, we made this sharp left turn.
But what I can only say is this giant set of glass sliding doors into what seemed to
be like a huge reception area.
And we go in there and I'm watching and they're pushing me towards this desk, this huge sort
of rounded desk.
There's a lady on this desk.
And we're heading towards this lady.
And there's many people in this reception area.
And they're all just talking in this unknown language.
And as we go in towards this lady at the desk, she's pointing towards her left.
What is just a brick wall?
And we're heading towards her.
So now it's our right.
So as these ladies are pushing me on the bed towards the lady at the reception, we make
a sharp right hand turn, which is her left.
And as we make that turn, these eyes that I'm watching this experience through, I sort
of get transitioned to the other side of the reception.
And now I'm sort of hovering over what I'm doing.
I'm here in the other side of the reception.
And now I'm looking across the reception.
These two ladies are now pushing me towards the brick wall.
And I'm thinking, what's going to happen now?
Because there's no way for them to go.
And they're getting faster and faster and faster.
And they're not going anywhere.
But at one point, it gets so fast, but they're barely moving.
Like, I can't explain it because the things are just getting so fast, but they're not
going anywhere.
But as I'm watching this through these different set of eyes, I'm bracing myself.
Because I can just tell that that hospital bed with me on it is going to hit the brick
wall.
So I'm bracing myself.
And as the time goes by, I'm just waiting for the impact.
And then out of nowhere, bam, the hospital bed, the gurney, hits the wall.
And it goes up like this.
And as the bed goes up, the wall opens up, almost like a giant cat flap.
And my body just slides through.
But as my body passes through this door, this flap, these eyes that I'm viewing this experience
through, gets sucked straight back into my actual body, in this out of body experience.
So now I'm back in my own body, but I'm just falling through just dark, black, nothingness.
And I don't know where I am.
Everything is just black.
And I'm looking around.
I'm observing things.
I'm thinking, where am I?
What is this place?
And it's just like I'm falling out of the sky.
It's literally I'm just falling to nowhere.
So time goes by.
And bear in mind, in this place, there's no, no, no time, time and space doesn't exist.
Like, time was just forever.
Nothing actually existed.
I had no perception of anything in this place.
So I'm just falling what seemed to be like forever.
And I'm just looking everywhere up, down, looking for answers.
And then right down there towards my left, I just see this small, glistening outline
of a bright, white, shining square.
I'm thinking, what is that?
And as the time passes by, this square is getting bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter.
And I'm actually being magnetized and I'm moving towards this square.
And I'm just thinking, what is this place?
Where am I going?
What is this square?
I really didn't know.
But this square is getting bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter, bigger and brighter.
And it got so big and bright.
At one point, the intensity of that light was shining so bright.
It was almost like heat in my face.
I closed my eyes.
And the moment I closed my eyes was when I felt the soles of my feet hit.
What I can only imagine is another wall to another cat flap or another wall to another
dimension.
And it was almost like I was coming down a slide in the swimming pool.
And I sort of slid and shot out of this place and bam, I landed back in the hospital bed.
And now I'm laying there in this place, which is bright, white.
And it wasn't a room because there was no walls.
There was no ceiling.
It was just forever, just white.
And I'm laying there and I'm now looking down at myself again through these other set of
eyes where my body is just laying there in this bed.
And the time goes by and I'm looking for answers.
I'm thinking, what's going to happen next?
What's happening now?
And then just from behind me where I can't see, the doctors and the nurses just started
to come in and they just started preparing me and they just started operating on my body.
And now I'm looking down at my body and the doctors are just operating on my head.
But look, there's no blood.
There's no pain, which is all peace and pleasure.
This was one of the most beautiful picture perfect, amazing things that I'd ever seen
in my whole life.
Doctors working on my head and they're all just talking, they're whispering in this unknown
language.
I'm just trying to make sense of everything.
Okay.
I've got so many questions.
I'm going to stop you for a minute.
And let's sort through some of this because there's a whole bunch.
First of all, this other set of eyes looking down on your body, you've mentioned a few
times.
Yes.
Most people will say, that was me out of my body looking down on my body.
But you feel like that wasn't the case with you?
No, I truly believe it was either like my maker, my creator, like, but what is that?
Am I my own maker?
I don't know.
Also, for me, I believe it could possibly be the eyes of my granddad.
He was my best friend.
I have a tattoo here.
I don't know if you can see.
Let me show you here, guys, on the camera.
I have a tattoo that says granddad here.
There's granddad.
So my granddad was like my best friend.
I see him three times a day because he lived literally two doors down from my parents.
Yeah.
He was the one that really believed in me in life.
Like he said, you could achieve anything you want.
You will become so successful.
He was always there for me, but then when I lost my granddad, I lost like a huge part
of myself.
And I truly believe like my granddad was the person that helped pull me through that's
a whole trauma or the traumatic experience.
So you were somehow tuned into his experience of looking down on you then, right?
I believe from my own eyes, whether this is correct or not, I truly still don't know
now, but I just believe something inside of me is saying, maybe it is your granddad
are looking down at you, just looking over you to make sure you're okay.
But the thing is, there kept being these transitions where the eyes kept transitioning
back into my head, right?
Back into my body.
Interesting.
Okay.
Now you were talking about also looking down on this surgery happening with no blood or
anything and these people are talking in a different language.
Is this different than the initial surgery that you had gone through?
What was it?
Just a few days before this?
The real surgery in the hospital?
Is this something different or like a replay?
Explain.
It's okay if you don't totally know.
Just your opinion.
No, I truly don't know.
I truly don't know.
And will I ever know?
Who knows?
Maybe one day I'll figure this all out, but at the minute I can't be 100% certain, but
maybe it is a sort of a replay of what actually happened.
Possibly.
I really don't know.
But the word that I want to use, actually watching this unfold through this different
set of eyes was bliss.
It was blissful.
It was the most blissful thing that I'd ever seen me being operated on and these doctors
just whispering in this unknown language and it was just so perfect just watching this
thing unfold.
It was no pain.
It was just pleasure.
It was one of the most amazing things or probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Yeah.
And you would think that that would be disturbing, not blissful.
I've had some other people on this show that have talked about seeing spiritual beings,
whether they call them angels or whatever, spiritual beings actually doing some healing
to their body while they were out of the body.
Is maybe that, do you think maybe that's what was happening?
Could well be because like I say, these people, they look like me and you, but the language,
the noises that were coming out of their mouth.
It's unexplainable.
I could not tell you even what it sounded like.
So these could have been say angels, they could have been spirits.
Who knows what they could have been, but they, the language they were speaking was just not
from this planet as well.
Well and the reason that you felt bliss tells me that something good was going on, something
spiritually positive was happening at that point, right?
Sure.
Okay.
Tell me what else happens.
Well, you're in this kind of state.
Yeah.
So as the time goes by, and again, I can't put a number on the time, like it was just,
Yeah, there's no time.
It was literally forever.
It could have been a year, it could have been a second, it could have been a week, it could
have been any time.
So as the time goes by, these doctors, the nurses, they sort of dissipate it.
They just started going behind where I couldn't see and they just pack up their tools and
they just leave.
And now it's just me laying there and my body is just laying there in this bed.
And now I'm looking for answers.
I'm thinking, now what happens?
And I'm just looking down on me, laying there, a mobile, just peaceful, just laying there
and just tranquility, maybe the word, like just bliss.
My body is just laying there.
And then out of nowhere, there was this transition.
I get this transition and it's almost like there's this hoover inside my brain, inside
my mind.
It's like the most powerful suction that's inside my body's mind.
And it sucks these eyes straight back in.
Like I said, there's always this transition and the eyes got transitioned back into my
body.
So as I'm laying there, now I've got my eyes in my own body and now I open my eyes and
I look up and I'm in this place where I really don't know it is.
But all I know is I'm laying in this hospital bed with this curtain that is around me, just
in front of me, there's this huge curtain that is surrounding my bed.
And now I'm thinking, now what happens?
I really don't know.
So I'm looking around and I'm looking for answers.
Nothing.
But then suddenly these curtains start to open up and as the curtain open up, it's supernatural,
bright white light shines through again with such intensity that I had to close my eyes.
So I close my eyes because it's almost like heat on my face, that's how bright it is.
But as my eyes are closed, I can feel it's like dimming down and I can feel that the
intensity is like getting to a point where it's safe to open my eyes.
So I open my eyes.
And as I do open my eyes, it was when the most profound incredible thing that I've potentially
ever seen and the main part of the story happened.
So I open my eyes and I remember looking out there and bearing in mind this wasn't a room,
this wasn't a place, it was just forever.
It was just forever, it went on forever.
And as I look out there, as far as I could see, just forever, I saw every single face
that I'd ever seen in my whole life.
Every single person that I'd ever seen in my whole life, it could have been someone that
I'd bumped into as a kid in the street, it could have been someone that I went on a school
trip with and it was someone that weren't there, it could have been anybody.
Every single face that I'd ever seen and everywhere I looked up, down, every single place I just
saw faces of people.
You know, they were in an order of importance because the closer that these faces got to
me, the more important that these people meant to me.
Like it could have been a childhood friend, it could have been a family friend, to a family
member and then right at the very end of my hospital bed were my immediate family, the
people that really meant the most to me.
My granddad, he was there, even though he was dead, he was there right at the end of
the bed, my mum, my dad, my sister, my brothers and they were all there and they were all
just looking at me and I remember looking back at them and I looked at every single
face and I remember looking out at all of those faces and every single face that I looked
out to, it was just silently sobbing, it was just tears running down the faces of every
single face that I looked out to.
Straight away I panicked, I was nervous, I was scared.
The first thought that went through my mind said, what have I done wrong?
I really thought that I had done something really, really wrong.
My heart was going, I was just panicking, I was nervous, I was so scared.
I just thought, I've done something really, really wrong.
I need to grab their attention.
So I started to speak to them.
Not a single word come out of my mouth, nothing.
I tried to shout, I tried to scream, no words were coming out of my mouth.
So I thought, I know what I'll do, I'll try and grab their attention.
So I put my hands up to wave at them, it just looked straight through me.
It was like I didn't even exist.
And again, I tried forever, literally forever.
Every single thing that I'd done didn't work.
And I remember, I closed my eyes and I cried and I just give up on myself.
I literally closed my eyes and I started crying and I remember I just put my head back and
I dropped my head back on that pillow and the moment my head hit that pillow, that suction
again was on my head, on the top of my head with such intensity.
It sucked everything out of it, the people, the faces, the eyes, the bright white.
Every single thing got sucked up and out of my head and just went.
So now we're not in bright whiteness, we're in pitch black again.
And I'm just thinking what's happening now because I can't see anything.
Again it's pitch black but bearing in mind in this white place, it was cold.
But now in this dark black place, my body's starting to warm up.
I could feel it, I could feel my body getting warm.
I couldn't see anything but in the distance I hear a beeping noise.
Beep, beep, beep.
And in my mind I'm thinking, Ryan, you need to wake up.
You have work today and you're going to be so late for work.
You need to wake up now, Ryan.
Your boss is going to be so angry with you if you don't wake up now because you're going
to be so, so late.
So in my mind I just believed it was a Saturday morning and I had work on the Saturday.
So I'm just telling myself, wake up, you're going to be so, so late.
I believed I went out the night before and I couldn't wake up in time for work and my
boss is going to be so angry with me.
So this noise is getting faster, it's going beep, beep, beep and it's getting louder and
faster, louder and faster.
So the point I said, Ryan, wake up now.
Boom.
I actually opened my eyes and now in this moment I'm back in the real world and I look
around and I'm in this pitch black room all by myself laying there in that hospital bed
and I'm looking around and my head is so sore, my body is hurting and I look down slowly
at myself and I had needles all in my arm.
I had pads all on my chest and a shoe tube down my throat and I'm just thinking, where
am I?
Is this a movie?
Is this real?
I don't even know where I am.
I just hear this beeping inside of me, beep, beep and I remember turning my head so slowly
because it was hurting so much and I look and that beeping noise was the life support
machine that was keeping me alive this very whole time and again I look back at my body
and I look around and then I remembered everything, every single thing I remember at all.
It was like the only way I can explain this is like back in the day when we had computers
maybe 10 years ago and we used to try and open too many tabs and the computer would
just freeze because it was too much information.
I literally had dropped in my mind every single bit of information from that night prior to
when I was attacked.
And I remembered everything.
I remembered who it was, what people were there, what taxi it was, where we was.
I remembered every single thing.
That information just got dropped into my mind and I remembered it's so specific and
I cried because the pain was so bad because of the information in my mind in that time
was so, so painful.
Again it just felt like someone had smashed me over the head with a baseball bat because
it was just too much information for my mind to take in at one time and again I just cried
and this is now back in the real world.
I just cried my eyes out and I remember I put my head on that pillow again and I cried
myself to sleep.
But then when I did wake up in the morning I woke up and I see the faces and the bodies
of my real family and they were stood there at the end of my bed the very first time that
they saw me actually woken up the first time and they were there, my mum, my dad, my brothers,
my sister and they were all just looking at me.
And I remember they were saying, he's awake.
I wonder if he knows who we are because the doctors told my parents he would never remember
any of you.
He won't walk it again, he won't talk again, he won't remember his own name.
And I remember my older brother comes so close to my face and he said, I wonder if he knows
who I am.
I thought, you idiot, of course I know who you are.
I couldn't speak, I could barely move in that moment.
I thought, of course I know you are.
My mum was there, she was just crying her eyes out and they were asking me things I couldn't
even reply.
And this is when I realised that I'm back on earth and I truly believe from that whole
experience just to sort of finish this part off that I believe we're all here for a special
reason.
Some people find out why they're here on earth and others don't sadly.
But I believe that I had to go through that experience to really discover who I truly
am and I believe that I was put on this planet to help other people discover who they truly
are.
Doing the research now looking back, I honestly believe that I was sent back here to earth.
My life was spared because I hadn't yet finished the job that I was sent here to do in the
first place and that's why my maker, my creator, sent me back to complete the mission that
I was sent to do.
And this is why the people were crying, that's why all those faces were crying because they
knew I hadn't fulfilled my potential.
And because I hadn't done that, they were crying because they were still trapped in
a place where they didn't want to be because I was the person that was here to guide them,
to show them the way.
Because I hadn't done that yet, they were all just crying their eyes out.
Because in that moment, that was the end of me, Ryan Nurse was no more.
And you know, looking back, my family used to say like, Ryan, you're like a cat with
nine lives.
There were so many times when I had like almost death, like knocking on my door, like crazy
things when I was a kid, like, I would do stunts on my body, well, I was knocked out
many, many times, I would walk out in front of buses, cars for instance.
Like, mum, my poor mum, how I didn't die when I was a kid many times.
And people say, Ryan, you're a cat with nine lives.
But you know, this is the last, this is the last life that I would ever need.
Because I don't need anymore, because I know now I'm here for a purpose and I found my
purpose.
And this is the life that I'm going to truly make count.
I can't wait to meet your parents.
They sound awesome.
Let alone saved your life.
And sometime way, way down the road, when we're both on the other side, you introduced
me to your granddad too.
Sure, deal.
100%.
All right.
I have a question about, you said that you met, you saw everyone that you had ever met
in your life.
Was there any kind of interaction?
Was there any memory of experiences you had?
Or just like seeing a stadium full of people?
It wasn't even, it was just a white space that went on forever.
It was just, everywhere was filled, this white space, like it was just filled with faces.
So it wasn't so much part of a life review as it was just a glimpse at all these people.
It was the people that I'd seen.
I would see them, maybe I wouldn't even say the words of them.
Maybe it was like a bump into them in the street and went, oops, it could have been
anything.
But I'd seen them at one point in my life.
I would have seen them somewhere.
And it was every single face that I'd ever seen.
They were all looking at me and all crying, just tears coming from their face.
Okay.
You said that you came back with a purpose.
Are you familiar with what mission statements are?
Yes.
Like businesses and stuff have them?
Sure.
Can you put that purpose into a one or two sentence like a mission statement?
What's your purpose?
So my purpose is to help confused adults discover, design and live their dream life by showing
them the way.
Because obviously I took my life from deathbed to sunbed, from depression to progression,
from calamity to crystal clear clarity.
But I believe my mission is to use the knowledge I've gained from facing and overcoming the
adversities in my life to help other adults discover and design the life of their dreams
and to become the very best version of themselves.
Excellent answer.
Okay.
I want to hit on a couple of other things.
The first one is you mentioned to me before that you've written a book and people can
find it on your website.
That'll be in the show notes.
Give us the very brief, what's your book called?
What's it about?
So this one isn't really to do with the out of body experience.
There is a bit in there about that, but this book is called Sort Your Shout.
And it's literally how to build the life of your dreams.
Because at one point in my life, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do with my life.
I was so confused.
I've faced and overcome many adversities in my life.
The point where I am today, I've been living my dream life for the last few years and I'm
living it on a daily basis.
And how I'm here now is crazy.
And I obviously had to go through the steps myself to actually achieve this.
Try what I am called to put this into writing, into a step by step easy process for other
adults to do the same.
So look, for a fraction of the cost that's a couple of cups of coffee, you can get your
hands on this.
To actually build the life of your dreams.
And then I'll be soon writing my next book as well.
So this one, you can head over to sortyourshutout.ryannurse.com and you can get it there.
Or you can head over to Amazon and type in sortyourshutout and you can get a copy.
But my next book, which I'm going to be writing this year and publishing this year, it's going
to be called Dying with Regrets.
That's an awesome title.
Your first one, by the way, there are quite a few other books on Amazon by the same title.
So be sure to look for the one by Ryan Nurse or just go to his website.
Okay.
You gave us a minute ago, a perfect ending to this podcast.
I should have just cut it off right there.
But I wanted to hear about your book and I think other people like me are going to be
curious.
Was there any kind of resolution to this whole thing with, I mean, these guys just attacked
you, unprovoked.
There was a lot of damage.
What happened to them?
I mean, were they arrested?
Things like that.
Yeah.
So obviously the guys were found straight away.
Like the place where we live is so small and like everyone knows everyone.
People talk, so these guys got found straight away.
They know who it was.
To round up the story, we found out the reason why we got removed from the taxi because the
first taxi that we got into was actually these guys' friend, the driver was their friend.
So there wasn't four guys attacking us.
There was five guys attacking us.
It's very mind-nose.
Me, two younger friends and a girl.
So it wasn't, say, a fair fight anyway.
And they just beat the crap out of us.
Well besides you were seatbelted, you had no chance.
I was seatbelted.
I had nowhere to go.
I couldn't even get myself away.
Yeah.
You had zero chance.
I had literally zero chance.
So it wasn't a fight.
It was just being beaten up basically.
So yeah.
So obviously it went to court.
It went to court many, many times and the jury couldn't agree on one thing and they
couldn't agree on one other thing and it kept getting adjourned and adjourned.
And like for me, I'd never been to court in my life.
So as an 18-19-year-old boy at the time, it was just such trauma for me.
It was so horrific.
I remember at one point, I was in my old career, I was a car mechanic and I was there.
My dad just turns up to the garage one afternoon and he's like panicking.
He's nervous.
He's just been rushing.
He's like, you need to be in court now.
And bearing in mind, I had ovals on, oil all over me.
I had like a car in bits.
The customer wants the car back.
I'm just like, I don't want to go.
And he's like, no, you need to go.
The judge has called you in.
You need to be there.
I remember just crying the whole way.
I'd get into court and I just didn't want to be there.
It was just so much pressure for me as a young boy.
And I had to go there because I remember when the police come to my bed when I first woke
up, I wrote a written statement of exactly what happened.
And because one of my eyes was busted, it was upwards.
The letter went from big letters to small and it went bent down.
And I read back everything and the jury couldn't believe it.
So in the end, yeah, there was, I think, a couple of guys out of the five of them went
to prison.
I think one got a year and was no, one got like eight or six months, whatever it was.
It wasn't long.
I think he's got a bit of community service in the end.
The guy that attacked me was actually the taxi driver from the other taxi or like the
first taxi.
And he got 18 months, I believe, and was out in a year.
So people say to me, look, you didn't get justice there.
Like they should have got five, 10 years.
They should have got this, that and the other.
But what is the price of a life?
How many years in prison for someone should it be for a life?
Would you say, would you argue it should be a life for a life?
I don't know.
Some people have different opinions.
But what is the price of a life?
So if you're listening to this now, let me tell you, a price of your life is absolutely
price less.
You can't put a price on anybody's life.
So for me, waking up and being where I am today, I'm so grateful for all of that past
pain and the people that I once believed were the source of my suffering because I had to
go through that stuff in order to get to the place where I am today.
So no justice for a life is good enough.
So for me, it was just forgiveness.
I forgive those people because all of those things that those people once done to me in
the past, whether it is that, whether it is other things that happened because many other
things happened in my life.
But I forgive every single person that I believed or perceived what caused me pain in the past
because pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
You can either be a victim or a victor of your past.
And if you're still suffering today, you, my friend, are a volunteer.
So you need to forgive and move on because it's not like forgive and forget.
It's forgive and move on because those people that you say potentially have pain or anger
towards them, they've already moved on with their life.
So you need to forgive them because anger is such a strong word.
Anger is one letter away from the word danger.
Anger is the wind that blows out the lamp of the mind and holding on to anger is like
drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
It is forgiveness that is the antidote.
But it's not always that easy.
Sometimes we want to forgive.
What's your secret to forgiveness?
It's just knowing that if you don't forgive that person for what they've done to those
people or that situation that was potentially out of your control.
Like for me, I didn't want that to happen to me.
But I was in, say, the right place at the right time or the wrong place at the right
time.
But if that didn't happen, would I be where I am today?
Would I have wrote my book here that I've got in my hand?
Would I have helped the people that I've helped on a global scale?
Would I have been speaking on stages across the world?
Would I have podcasts?
Would I be doing the things that I'm doing today?
Potentially not.
I could have been living that life.
That wasn't fulfilling.
That was just the mundane, the average life that society says that we need to live.
No.
So what is the secret to forgiving?
Knowing that forgiving isn't for anybody else.
It isn't for them.
It's for you.
Because if you don't forgive and move on and accept the certain situations and things
and people and what have happened into your life, if you don't accept them for happening
the way that they happened and understanding that potentially you didn't do it.
You didn't have control over what happened.
And whether we like it or not, we will hold our own responsibility.
We will play the part in our life's journey.
But I was in that situation.
I didn't have to go to the club that night, but I wanted to go.
So I hold responsible for that, for being there.
But if you don't forgive, that situation, those people, that painful event, is going
to hold a piece of you for the rest of your life.
And you'll never be able to get through your life without feeling pain in some sort of
way.
And you'll never truly get past what had happened to you.
And you'll always hold a piece of resentment inside of you.
And it's going to eat you up for the rest of your life.
So you need to forgive and know that it's going to set you free.
So forgiveness is freedom, my friends.
So Ryan, any last message for us?
Yes.
So I have something that I'd like to take you through, guys, here.
It's a little journey.
I just want you to go with me on this one.
Just use your imagination.
So envision this.
Just imagine you managed to meet your maker, your creator.
And they said to you, how was your time on Earth?
Did you do all of the things that you wanted to do?
Go all of the places where you wanted to go.
Say all of the things that you wanted to say.
And you said, no.
No, I didn't.
So they invite you to sit down at this desk.
And on this desk are two big books.
And they point at the first book and say, this is the manual that I had created for your
life.
So you pick it up and you begin to flick through.
And you see all of your life start to unfold, all of those magical maternal moments in the
arms of your magnificent mother.
All of those fun times growing up through childhood, teenagers, early adulthood.
And then you start to see all of these amazing things.
All of the things that you were too scared to do.
So you look at the second book and you pick it up and you flick through.
And of course, this is your life.
Your life up to today.
Yeah, it's been an OK life.
And then suddenly you're flicking through pages of blank nothingness, absolutely nothing.
And you're instantly overwhelmed with resentment, responsibility and regret.
Knowing full well, you can never reapply to return and reattempt to relive the life that
was created for you all along.
Because that is it.
It's over.
There's no going back.
But people, I just want you to realize that your dream life is right there, right in front
of you, ready for the taking.
But you just have to reach out and grab it with both hands.
So whatever you do, people, don't wait for the manual.
Make the manual.
Because if regret is something that you're going to take to the tomb with you, do not
take your greatness to the grave because so many people have such greatness inside of
them waiting to be shared with the world.
But they're not doing it because they honestly believe they're going to wake up tomorrow.
Not many things in life are 100% guaranteed, my friends.
But two things are that we are all born and we will all die.
It's what we do with the opportunity between these two events that really matter most.
So please do make the very most out of your unique thought that you have on this earth.
Thank you so much.
Well said, Ryan.
Thanks for being on with us.
Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast.
Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtriptest.com.
If you want to share your near-death experience or if you have questions or comments about
the show, send an email to ericatroundtriptest.com.
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.