From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.
They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.
And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my
physical body because I was somewhere else.
The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't
anything else to be felt.
I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.
I'm back home again.
Incredibly safe and felt at home.
Welcome to RoundtripDeath everybody and welcome.
This is going to be really fun today.
We have Dr. Lottie Valentine with us today.
How are you?
I'm great.
How are you?
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm good.
And it was fun.
I was asking you about the pronunciation of your name.
Why don't you tell us where you're from and maybe that will explain a little bit.
Yeah, so my name is Valentin or Valentine.
It can actually be pronounced in two different ways.
And that's because I was born and raised in Sweden, which is in northern Europe, all the
way up by the North Pole, Scandinavia.
Everybody gets it confused with Switzerland, but it's Sweden.
So I think Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland up in that area.
And in Sweden, Valentine's Day is spelled like my name.
It doesn't have an E on the end.
And because if you put an E on Valentine, you wouldn't be able to pronounce it in Swedish.
So the names change with every country, depending on the language that's spoken.
And so as soon as you leave Sweden, people are going to pronounce your name in English,
which is Valentine, even though it doesn't have an E on the end.
As a child, you go to Spain a lot because that's like living in New York, going to
Florida, trying to escape that winter climate, and then they would always say, you know,
Valentino, Senorita Valentino.
So now they add an O. So anyway, so that's why people get confused about, you know, is
it Valentine?
Is it Valentin?
Is it Valentine?
But it's actually pronounced Valentin or Valentine.
I'm going to stick with Dr. Lottie.
How's that?
Why?
Make it easy.
Now, we have a lot of listeners in Sweden.
So do you want to say hi to them in Swedish?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, hey, all the way home in Sweden.
I grew up in Sweden and moved to America when I was 21.
So my family is still in Stockholm in the spring in Sweden and many old friends.
So if you want to say hi to everyone.
I have one question about Sweden and then we're going to move on, I promise.
My son spent a couple of years in Norway doing a church mission and he said the Norwegians
make fun of the Swedes.
Is it also the other way around in Sweden?
Do they make fun of the Norwegians?
Yes, all the time.
It is just, you know, it's just an old joke, you know, from hundreds of years ago.
It's just like people have jokes about the Polish people in New York or Italians, right?
It's the same Sweden and Norway are neighbors.
And so there's always jokes about how the Swedes are so much better than the Norwegians.
And then of course it's the same joke in Norwegian about the Swedes.
But it is, you know, it's not any ill meanings or anything.
It's just, you know, funny.
Good fun.
Like teasing your little brother.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, tell us a little bit about, more about you, including what kind of doctor are you?
So I'm an NMD and so there's an N in front of the MD part, which means that I'm a naturopathic
medical doctor.
And depending on where you live in the United States, the licensing procedure is still ongoing
in the United States.
So about half of the states, if you are an NMD, so about 25 states in the United States
have treats and naturopathic medical doctors as a physician, because we did go to medical
school and we did pass our boards just like a regular MD.
But it's the issue that we used to have with the chiropractic physicians before they became
accepted.
And now it's that same movement about naturopathic medical doctors.
And the difference of an MD and a naturopathic medical doctor is that a naturopathic medical
doctor also studies botanical medicine, acupuncture, homeopathy, nutrition.
And then of course we all started the pharmaceutical medicines.
We actually had a few hours more than the regular MDs because we have to be more aware
of the interaction.
So it's just a more holistic approach to how we treat the body versus when you go to the
MD is more of a traditional Western approach.
You go to a naturopathic doctor, they may say, well, pharmaceutical is your best option
for this, you know, for this condition.
But in other conditions, it might be a botanical medicine or homeopathy or acupuncture.
So your tool bag is just bigger, how to treat somebody.
So it's a more of a holistic approach to treatment.
And then you have the functional medicine doctors that are on the wagon, you know, kind
of saying, I wish I had more knowledge about the integrative medicine.
So they become functional medicine doctors.
So they're kind of in between the regular MD and the naturopathic doctor.
Okay.
That sounds great.
And you live in Phoenix?
Yep.
I live in Phoenix.
All right.
Well, I know you've had a couple of near death experiences.
I've heard nothing about him yet.
I'm going to be as surprised as anybody.
Can you tell us about the first one?
Sure.
So my first near death experience was in 1992.
I was giving birth to my third child that had already given birth to my two boys that
were now six and three and a half.
So the birth itself is kind of interesting.
So we, we had to the hospital because my second boy was born literally in two hours.
It was such a fast labor.
So I had a contraction at like two in the morning.
We had it straight to the hospital.
We get there.
I'm in labor and I'm on this table in the birthing room and a 7.4 earthquake.
So everything, you know, shook a lot and this hospital was built on rollers.
So it was a fairly new hospital.
I lived in California at the time and so he was in Eastern Anaheim.
So for people who are familiar with California, if you've ever been to Disneyland, Disneyland
is an Anaheim.
So if you go all the way to the Eastern part of Anaheim, you know, you're bordering more
on the desert and this earthquake was luckily centered in the desert.
And that's why we, there wasn't much damage, but this hospital was built literally on the
edge to the desert.
So we were really close to the epicenter of the earthquake.
Everybody started leaning over me on the table, my husband, the nurses, the midwife.
If they had not leaned over me on the table, they would have fallen down because it shook
that much and I would have flown off the table.
So during this earthquake, there's these windows floor to ceiling windows and I'm lying on
this table and I'm thinking, this is it.
We're going to all get buried in rubble.
Those ceiling tiles are going to cave in.
Those windows are going to shatter.
You know, all the instruments, you know, in the hospital, they have those metal trays
with all the instruments.
They were levitating, jumping up and down on these trays.
It was like cling, clang.
We lost all the power, all the lights went out.
That was one of the times in my life when I thought I was going to die.
And that experience is very different from my near death experience, which comes in a
little bit because when you're in a situation like that, and I bet a lot of listeners have
been almost in a car accident, you're thinking, oh my gosh, this is it.
This is it.
I'm going to die.
And anyway, the earthquake stopped.
My labor also stopped because it was that a traumatic event.
So if you're giving birth in the jungle and the lion comes, you're going to stop giving
birth, get yourself to safety, and then give birth when the lion is not there.
It's when you're in a situation like that, everything will just stop because your body
is more interested in saving your life right now.
My labor stopped.
And then, you know, after half an hour, an hour, my labor started again.
I gave birth to my daughter.
And then they finally, we still only have a nightlight, like the generator in the hospital
kicked in.
So we have like a nightlight in this birthing suite.
And we have another earthquake kick, a 7.2 earthquake.
This poor man that was drawing my blood, his eyes were like golf balls because he had been
further away from the first earthquake.
So to him, this earthquake was worse because he was not much closer to the epicenter.
And we're all saying, oh, don't worry, this one is a small one and it was a 7.2.
So it was still a really big earthquake.
Right.
And then they finally give me the baby because all this is happening.
And as soon as they give me the baby, I start screaming and arching backwards saying, take
the baby, take the baby.
And I started hemorrhaging.
So now they come to nurses in the midwives there, squeezing my abdomen and trying to
make all the blood clots come out, put me on an IV drip.
It's not like they were going to take me to surgery because we were running on generators,
right?
The whole hospital was just trying to make sure everybody on life support is still alive.
So they put me on IV drop, kept me for another two days, finally sent me home and said, all
right, seems like the bleeding has stopped and you're good to go.
Well, 10 days later, I went to my friends were having a baby shower for me because I had
a daughter and I had two boys before.
So they were all excited to give me pink dresses and all those things.
So I get to the park and I feel like I need to use the restroom.
So I take my kids with me, we go to the restroom and this enormous blood clot comes out, like
larger than a man's large fists, right?
Very large.
And I run back to my friend and I said, something is really wrong.
And I had had this pain.
So I would constantly have to sit down to relieve the pain.
It was like shooting down from my pelvic area down my legs, almost feeling like, imagine
putting a bowling ball in your stomach and how much pressure that would put.
So it was that kind of a feeling.
And I was thinking, what is the difference with this birth?
Why am I having so much pain?
So then I had this huge blood clot, put my kids back in the car, drive home, my husband
comes home from work, takes them to the hospital.
And my parents are luckily visiting from Sweden at this time.
So we go to the hospital, they do a manual inspection and they say, oh, everything looks
good.
They keep me there for two hours and they say, well, it could have been a second lining
that came out and they sent me on my way.
I go home next day, a hemorrhage again.
And it's in the evening, my husband calls the hospital and I'm yelling to him, I'm not
going back.
They're not going to do anything because the bleeding stopped.
So they said, all right, see the doctor the next day.
We lived in Huntington Beach, California at the time.
I see the doctor the next morning, Friday morning, same thing, manual inspection, no
blood work, no ultrasound, nothing.
He says, oh, could have been a second lining that came out thinking I had like two linings.
Like this is so weird.
And I'm 34 at the time, young, look very healthy.
You know, it's in June, we're all tanned, living in California.
I was the picture of health.
I had just studied nutrition.
I was eating healthy.
And he says, all right, well, I'm going to send you home.
And the next that afternoon, same day, a hemorrhage again.
So we go back to the ER.
So now I've hemorrhaged three times, right?
So they said, all right, well, we're going to do an inspection again, manual inspection,
no blood work, no ultrasound inspection, leave you on the table.
So here I'm lying on this table in the ER and I finally start bleeding and I'm thinking,
oh my gosh, finally, I'm bleeding.
I'm in the ER.
They're going to figure out something is wrong.
So I'm lying.
I'm not thinking much of it.
I'm bleeding for three days.
I think the spirit world sent the nurse to check on me because the timing is literally
divine.
So this nurse comes to check on me.
She opens the door.
I don't even have a beltering.
I'm just lying in this ER on this table.
And she sees all the blood that's on the table and all the paper on the table and her jaw
just drops.
I mean, the look on her face is just fear and horror.
And I hear the call on the loudspeaker OBGYN stat to the ER OBGYN stat to the ER.
And all I'm thinking is, thank gosh, you know, finally figured out something is wrong.
Within 30 seconds, this middle-aged doctor runs in full speed.
That's literally out of breath.
He probably ran across the hospital.
Younger physician in tow.
Again, a manual inspection.
First he says, how much have you been bleeding?
He sees all the bloody papers in the wastebasket because the nurse had tried to clean everything
up.
So I told him, this is, you know, started Wednesday.
I've been, this is my third day.
And he said, all right, let's take a look.
And they did a manual visual inspection again.
And as they do that inspection, one of those huge blood clots comes out.
Oh my gosh.
That doctor.
I'm trying.
Right.
I'm just thinking, oh my God, thank God I'm in the ER this time.
I'm even, if I, if I hadn't been, I would have died.
Right.
So everything is such divine timing.
So I'm trying to sit up and tell him, I don't feel too good.
Cause now is, you know, I've hemorrhaged this the fifth time I'm hemorrhaging these large
clots in three days.
So I try to sit up and he knows now exactly what's going on.
Cause he saw the size of that blood clot come out and I told him I've been hemorrhaging
for three days.
So he just pushes me back down on the table and my eyes are now closed because I can't
keep them open.
And I hear the room filled with hospital staff.
And I got this nurse on my right that's quoting to put on their blood pressure cuff and she's
quoting my blood pressure.
And I got a nurse on my left that's trying to put an IV in my arm.
But you know, my veins are already collapsing because now I'm going into shock.
And so it's really difficult to get an IV in or stick a needle in a vein that's collapsing,
which is why when you go to the ER now, sometimes they just give you an IV and you're thinking,
I don't need an IV.
I'm here for something else.
Well, if something goes south and they need to inject you with medication, they now have
an access to that.
They have a port.
It's already in your vein.
So they don't run into this problem.
But in 1992, I don't think that that was probably not a standard procedure.
So here I am lying on this table and I feel like I'm just falling.
Imagine jumping out of an airplane and you just without the parachute and you're just
free falling down to earth.
That was the feeling I had.
And it's probably my blood pressure plummeting at that point.
And the nurse on my right, who's quoting my blood pressure, said, yells out in this panic
voice, 50 over 15, hurry.
She yells.
So at this point, you know, I barely have pressure to support my heartbeat.
That usually goes around, way around like 60 over 20.
And I'm thinking, what's taking her so long?
Why can't she get that IV?
I don't have any medical knowledge.
And shortly after that nurse yells out 50 over 15, hurry, that I know that I am dying.
And that experience was very, very different from that earthquake when I thought I was
going to die.
Because at this point, I knew.
And I could feel my soul like starting to separate and like coming out of my body.
Like there was a separation happening.
And all I'm thinking, I'm a complete atheist at the time.
I don't believe in anything.
Even though I was raised in Sweden and everybody was Lutheran back then because the state and
the church had not yet separated.
And so you were born in Sweden, you were automatically a Lutheran.
And if you didn't want to be a Lutheran, then you had to tell someone.
And it was this, the church that kept your passport and counted all the people and all
that.
So I was confirmed when I was 14.
But I did not believe in anything they taught me.
I didn't believe in God.
I didn't believe in any of the stories or religion or the afterlife or the spirit world
or that your spirit survives the death of your body.
I didn't believe in any of it.
And can I just clarify one quick thing before we move on?
Based on something that you mentioned a second ago, this is prior to you becoming a doctor.
So you don't have all the medical knowledge back then that you do now.
Yeah.
No, I was only 34 at the time.
And so I had studied nutrition.
So I knew nutrition.
So I was really healthy going into this ordeal.
And so my friends were always saying, you're only survived because you were so healthy going
into this ordeal.
And there might be some truth to that.
But here I am on this table and my soul is trying to separate from my body.
And I'm completely aware of the fact that I'm dying.
And I'm a complete atheist.
So what do I do at this point?
I said, well, if there is a God or if there is something out there, this is my only hope.
So I pray to God to save my life.
And I say, I have three children under the age of six.
They need a mother.
Right.
And I was just thinking, my husband can never do this.
He's never going to be able to raise these three kids.
My kids need a mom.
They need, I have to be there for them.
And shortly after that, I just got sucked out of my body.
And that transition of being in your body and being outside your body, it happens so quickly.
I don't, there's no words to describe how quickly that transition happens because, you
know, people ask me, did you leave through your chest?
Did you leave through the crown of your head?
Or, you know, where was that exit point?
No idea because you, um, in my body and then I'm not, it's just, it's the transition is
too quick.
You have no idea what happens.
So then I find myself floating outside my body.
I'm like a couple of feet up in the air and there is this, well, number one, there is
this note, there is complete peace on the other side and unconditional love and peace.
And you just feel like, wow, like there's no pain or anything.
You're just there.
But my first thought was, how can I be outside my body and still be me?
How does this work?
Then I also was aware that there was no time on the other side and that I had access to
past, present and future.
There was no, there was no time.
The time only exists when I'm in my body in this earthly dimension, but time doesn't
exist on the other side.
And I was aware that I belonged to the body.
So if you step outside your car or if you step outside your house, you know, that's your
car, you know, that's through your house.
It was that kind of feeling like I live in that body down there, but the me who I am
is in this spirit form.
And then I get sucked back into my body as quickly as I had left my body.
So then they keep me in the hospital.
And then that next day, I'm still trying to comprehend, you know, how could I be outside
my body?
What was that?
Was that the lack of oxygen in my brain?
And I'm trying to figure out why that could be.
You know, my dad was a physician.
My mom worked in the hospital.
I was, I was always around medicine.
I'm trying to make it logical.
Atheists all do this.
They try to justify, rationalize, explain away the whole thing.
Right.
You know, you're trying to figure out what that was.
And this nurse that came in the next day to check on me, I think she was Norwegian.
Uh-oh.
That's a problem.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Did anything unusual happen yesterday?
Cause she was probably aware of near-death experiences.
I had never heard of such a thing.
Didn't know anything about it.
I figured, well, if I tell her, then they're going to lock me up in the psych ward.
So I said, no, no, nothing, nothing happened.
But also that day, I was aware of my sister-in-law in the left corner of my hospital room, ceiling,
and she said, everything is going to be okay.
I'm thinking, okay.
So yesterday, I think I left my body.
Today, I think I hear my sister-in-law who passed away 10 days ago and she's in this
room.
Like what is happening, you know, to me?
And it was a scary thing at the same time because I'm trying to make sense of what is
happening because I had no belief in anything spiritual.
You've got to let me ask some questions here.
Yeah.
It's my show.
Come on.
You really went quickly kind of glossed over the fact that you felt unconditional love
and peace.
I meant to ask you to explain more and try to dive into that.
What did that really feel like?
I can't wait to get to the second end of year because it's so different from my first.
So it's almost like, because the first near-death experience was really short.
I didn't get to see the light, which I did in my second near-death experience and meeting
spirit guides and everything.
The first one was so short.
It was like, I always feel like they saved me too quickly and now I have to have a second
near-death experience to really get me on track what I'm here to do in this life, right?
Because I didn't have that full effect.
But you did feel something.
Yes.
But I still knew because when you're in that state, when you're outside your body, number
one, there's no pain in dying because it's just a beautiful experience.
It's nothing to be afraid of.
Death is a beautiful thing where one second you're in your body and the next second you're
not.
That feeling of it's just such a tremendous peace and love.
You're held for lack of a better word, like in the source or God, whatever you want to
call that, you're just held as an infant and cuddled.
You're just this unconditional love feeling.
It's hard to put words to it.
But it's the most tremendous calm and peace and love that you could imagine.
So for people who are meditating, ask for divine source or God or whatever you believe
in, spirit guides to give you that peace and love when you meditate and you start to feel,
get a sense of what that feels like because it's your whole body just feels within this
realm, right?
It feels around and feels that love, it feels our body when we're meditating.
And I'm sure other people can get to this place too.
Yes, you're not stuck with these earthly dimensions of feelings because it's just unconditional
love on the other side.
It's just peace.
Okay.
I'll let you go on to experience number two now.
So then I guess there's all these other things that happen in between.
My watch is stopped, I had all these electrical interference, took me 12 years to have a watch
tick for 12 years so that we can go into those stories later.
So let me just talk about, you know, and how the spirit world started talking to me during
this period.
So my second and this while I was really sick afterwards and I had something called bone
marrow suppression.
And so the first thing the doctor said, I have to give you a blood transfusion.
You've lost way too much blood and I turned my head slightly to look at the doctor and
he yells, don't, don't move.
Cause he was so afraid I was going to go back in to this, you know, he was going to lose
me after he injected me with all, who knows what.
I just remember just lots of injections when he saved me and he injected me with all these
things.
He said, you're not going to feel too good for a while.
And I, he said, I have to give you a blood transfusion.
And I said, do you have to give me a blood transfusion?
And he said, do you have religious beliefs that prevent you from getting a blood transfusion?
And I said, no, but I have three children under the age of six and this was 1992.
And a lot of people back then that got blood transfusions ended up getting AIDS because
we did not have any way of checking the blood back then.
And so he said, he understood my concern and he said, well, you are like a young and healthy
person.
So let's see how quickly you make blood.
So the two days in the hospital, they, you know, they kept monitoring my blood and how
quickly I made blood.
They ended up not giving me blood saying, okay, we're going to give you all these different
supplements.
You're not going to feel too good for a couple of months because it's going to take you some
time to make blood enough to that you don't feel dizzy.
So I pretty much slept for two or three months.
I have very few memories of July and August.
It was almost September.
My parents changed their tickets back to Sweden two or three times.
They just kept telling me to stay longer because I couldn't be up yet.
And I just remember my hands and feet being ice cold.
I was under, you know, wool blankets in June or July and in California.
So I had no blood in my body and my head was pounding and I kept telling me to take it
off the pillow because I would feel faint.
And so finally by September, I'm now sitting up and I was sitting in the rocking chair
and then my mother-in-law came to help.
And then at Christmas, we all got the flu and we ended up not having any insurance for
that entire year because as all this happens, my husband was a regional manager and his
company got sold.
And so everybody got laid off from top to bottom, right?
Of course, in the middle of all this.
So he takes the first bed job, best job because he's got support, his wife and his three kids
at home.
So we were on that three month wait period to get insurance.
We couldn't afford to pay the Cobra payment.
So after three months, he gets another job offer, which is better than the job he's in.
So he takes that job and after three months, he gets another job offer.
So we ended up not having insurance until the following year, July 1st.
So that whole year, we didn't have insurance and we all got sick at Christmas and we went
to the walking clinic.
Everybody got antibiotics.
Everybody had pneumonia.
The boys had pneumonia.
My husband had pneumonia.
I had pneumonia.
And after eight days in antibiotic, everybody was well except for me.
I was even sicker.
So I go back to this walking clinic.
They take my blood, they come back in the room and they say, do you have AIDS or leukaemia?
Because you have no immune system.
And I said, well, I can't have AIDS because they never gave me the blood transfusion because
that was the concern.
And they said, well, you have to go to the ER because you have no immune system.
You have no white blood cells.
And I said, I can't do that because we don't have medical insurance and we're going to
get medical insurance soon.
Anyway, they sent me home with all these antibiotics.
They injected me with all this stuff again.
They called the next day and said, are you doing better?
And I said, yes.
It took me another couple of weeks, but I finally came out of that.
And then I started bruising.
And I had a bruise on my hip that spanned my entire hip area.
So I bumped into the baby's changing table, something that would give you a bruise the
size of a small coin.
I had a bruise that spanned my entire hip.
It was purple and red.
And now it's May.
My baby is now 11 months old.
It's almost a year later.
I put the kids in the car.
I drive myself to the doctor.
He sees the big bruise and he thinks that my husband is beating us.
So then he rips off the shirts and all my kids, he realizes there's no bruises on them.
And I'm telling him, I'm telling you the truth.
This is what happened to me.
And I bumped into the baby's changing table.
So then he believed me and I said, look, that is a doctor.
I understand there's something wrong with my blood, but we're getting insurance July
1st.
And we were in mid-May now.
So it was like six weeks to go.
I've survived this whole year.
And I said, as funny as this sounds, I'm better now than I have been the whole year because
I put my children in the car and drove myself here and walked into this clinic.
I'm getting better, but obviously there's something wrong.
Anyway, he gave me all the lab work, which I didn't do because I knew that I would have
a pre-existing condition and then I wasn't going to get insurance.
And I said, well, I've gotten out of all these problems the entire year.
So I just ripped them up and I luckily got better.
During this whole time, I have visitations from the spirit world.
I'm here in the spirit world.
But then another year goes by.
So not two years later in 1994, I am living with this bone marrow suppression and always
having this feeling of my soul leaving just like it did in the ER the first time where
you just feel like your soul is separating from your body.
So this is just my normal life at this point.
Every time I stand up, every time I bend over, lying in bed at night, I have to take my head
off the pillow because my head is pounding because I don't have enough blood.
So my second NDE happens in the middle of the night.
I wake up, my head is pounding, I take my head off the pillow and just like the first
time I just get sucked out of my body.
But the second experience is so different from the first because now I am tumbling through
darkness, I think like a spaceship traveling in Star Wars, right?
So I'm traveling through darkness like tumbling.
And I get to this place that I call the mid station because I knew that there were, it
was like an awareness that I could be higher or I could be lower.
So imagine going into a skyscraper and there is a hundred floors in the skyscraper and
you push the button on the 50th floor.
When you get off on the 50th floor, you know there's floors above you.
You know there's floors below you.
You just don't know what's on those floors because you can't see them.
But that was the feeling that there was like levels and I call it the bouncing station because
they sent me back.
I did not get a choice to stay.
Like some people say, oh, I had a choice.
I could stay.
There was no choice.
So I get to this mid station and the first thing I hear is the most beautiful music.
And I'm thinking, where is this music coming from?
And I look to my right and for all the people in Sweden, what I see is a log cabin.
So I'm thinking, well, the music must be coming from this log cabin.
So I open the door, I look inside and it looks like it literally looks like a sauna, like
a Swedish sauna, a small log cabin.
And I open the door, I look inside, but it's empty.
And I look to my left and I see a mirror image of the log cabin on my left.
I open the door, I look inside, but it's empty.
But then I'm thinking, where is this beautiful?
The music is so beautiful.
It's more beautiful than any music you can make here on earth.
I tried to make the music.
We had a synthesizer with like 200 sounds.
There was not one sound on the synthesizer that I could make similar to this beautiful
music.
So then as I'm in this state, I become aware of this bright white light.
It's almost like I was standing the way I would say it's like you're standing inside
a cloud and then somebody's shining one of those really bright spotlights that they have
at like a soccer game or, you know, like a sports arena.
And so I'm surrounded by this bright white light.
I'm standing in it almost like you're standing in a cloud or standing in a fog.
But this bright white light, it extends everywhere.
But this bright white light, there is a knowing that this bright white light is God.
It is divine source that we come from this light.
So there was this knowing we come from this light, we are part of this light and we carry
this light within us and we come and return to this light when we die.
And that light is, that is the unconditional love bliss.
You would never want to leave this light.
Like if you could stay there, if I did, I'd say, do you want to stay?
I would say yes.
Yes, please.
Right.
Because it's just this enormous love and bliss feeling.
In this light, I see an outline of angels and the music is coming from the angels.
But I am completely aware of the fact that I'm seeing angels and thinking, I don't believe
in angels.
Like why am I seeing angels?
You know, these things aren't supposed to exist because I'm still me in this condition.
Right.
I'm still me.
I'm still the person I am here on earth.
Like I'm still my same spirit.
I'm still thinking this can't be angels aren't real.
But here I am seeing, hearing the angels creating this beautiful music and then I've become
aware of these two spirit guides and they're talking to each other, but I can hear them
and the spirit guide on my right says to the one, if they are going to lead in front of
me to the left, what is she doing here?
She can't be here.
She has to go back and I'm saying, no, no, no, wait a second.
How can this be?
How can I be outside my body and still be me?
Right.
I've been here for two years now, me trying to come to terms with my first near death
experience.
And the spirit guide diagonally to the left in front of me says, well, if I told you,
you won't, you wouldn't remember.
So I would say there's some kind of like control mechanism of what we get to remember.
But then it's like I'm standing on the moon looking down on the earth and around the earth,
there is this, what I called at the time, because this is 1994, a silvery glittery fishnet
because we didn't have the internet back then.
You couldn't Google, you know, grid around the earth.
I spent years coming to San Francisco public library trying to find what was that that
I saw.
So I call it the fishnet only because I was raised in Sweden and in the summers I spent
my time on an island without electricity or running water.
And I would row the boat for my grandmother who laid fishnets in the ocean to catch fish
for the family.
And when she lifted those fishnets out in the early morning sun, the water droplets on
that fishnet would sparkle in the sunlight.
So that was my description of what I saw was like, it looked like a fishnet that was sort
of sparkling.
And the spirit guide said, everything on earth is connected to each other, but everything
on earth is connected up to this grid.
And with that message, I got sent back to earth, which has then, you know, taken me 29
30 years to put these experiences understanding what the meaning of all these experiences
were.
But now in my work today, where I work as an ancestral healer, I work as a medical medium,
I'm an evidential psychic medium, I do spirit readings for people as well.
Now I understand it, but it took a long time to understand what is that interconnectedness.
It's like I had to wait for quantum physics to catch up and the internet to catch up.
I searched for years.
I used to have stacks of books next to my bed.
I was reading, you know, Stephen Hawking time, the physics books, why is there no time on
the other side?
Somebody please explain these experiences.
What is that grid?
And then eventually I said, okay, that's it.
I'm just going to give up on this and let it be.
I'm sure you have questions by now.
Oh, this is just really cool.
It's been fun to listen to.
What do you make of all this?
I mean, really, how did this settle with you and change you internally?
Right.
So exactly.
So it's not what happens to you.
It's what happens inside of you as a result of what happens to you.
People who are familiar with Gabor Mate and his trauma healing have heard him say that,
but it applies so well to people who have near-death experiences because when we listen
to somebody's experience, we are looking for confirmation or knowing that, you know, life
goes on, our loved ones in the spirit world are okay.
You're going to be okay when you pass on.
But we, you know, we're kind of stuck in that phase and we're fascinated by these stories
because that's where we are in our conscious evolution right now.
But then when you look at what happens to these people as a result of those experiences,
even for me, it was a complete life transformation and that's why I always joke they saved me
too quickly the first time.
And so they had to give me a second near-death experience so they could put me on the right
track for this life.
Growing up in Sweden where my father was a physician and my mom was a hospital floor
administrator, I was always surrounded by medicine and ever as long back as I can remember, I
wanted to be a doctor, just like my dad.
I want to be a doctor.
But back then, you know, I was born in 1958, so I was raised in the 1960s.
Typically back then the women became nurses and the men became doctors.
And my dad would always say, you know, be a nurse, be a nurse.
It doesn't take as long.
And I ended up not going that route.
It was a business major, computer science major.
I was a programmer and systems analyst of working for IBM in my, you know, after college in
the United States.
So I went with that very logical route.
So here I am, you know, after these experiences and always feel like the spirit world said,
all right, you're on the wrong track.
We got to put you back on the healing track.
That's what you incarnated to be.
That's what you wanted to be as a child.
But then, you know, life sometimes takes you in a different direction.
I knew I had to be a healer or a doctor.
For 12 years now, I have heard the spirit world.
The spirit world would come and visit me.
So it started the first day after my first near-death experience.
I heard my sister-in-law.
And then a year later, my uncle passed away and he came to visit in the middle of the
night and I figured my mom was going to call me from Sweden the next day and say, hey,
you know, my brother passed away.
Nobody called me.
So I said, wow, this is so strange.
I know he was here.
He said, you know, just letting you know that passed on.
Another day goes by and then finally this was the night like Sunday to Monday, finally
on Wednesday, my mom calls.
You know, she does her usual chit chat.
How is things going?
And then she says, I have something tragic to share with you.
And I said, I know your brother passed away, you know, two days ago and it was just dead
silence.
And I said, how did you know?
And I said, he was here.
You know, he came and told me my mom's response at that point was, you're just like your grandma,
just like her mother, because she also knew when people passed away.
And so that's how it started, but the spirit world would tell me all these things.
So my kids were a little older.
So it was fun to tell the things that you're very, you know, that are verifiable.
So one morning I woke up and I had three images.
The first image was of our van and it was a black scratch on the side of the door.
And the second image is I see two of my kids in the car, my middle son in the front seat,
my daughter in the back seat.
And then the third image is me leaving a note on the windshield of a black sedan car, but
I don't see any people.
So I tell my kids, we live in the San Francisco Bay area in California and they go to school
in the city.
So I had to drive them to the city.
They were at the San Francisco Ballet School.
And that's like the big book to do is like a training for the Olympics kind of thing.
They train them six days a week.
So I'm driving them to the city because they're too young to take the subway by themselves
at that age.
And so I tell my kids, this is what I saw.
And we go through all the intersections.
So we know the scratch is on the right hand side of the door.
It's the sliding door on the van.
So we must be hit oncoming traffic.
We're turning left oncoming traffic.
It's the only way we can get hit.
Two weeks go by and we figure out there's only one intersection in the city because a lot
of the streets in San Francisco are one way.
We come across the bridge into San Francisco.
We get off the freeway.
We come down to the light.
We jog left.
Only street that has oncoming traffic.
So every day for two weeks, my kids' noses are pressed up against their window saying,
Mom, the coast is clear.
There's no cars coming because they're concerned too.
They're going to be in this accident, right?
Mom saw the scratch on the car.
So two weeks go by, nothing.
Then we're in Walnut Creek, East Bay, San Francisco, and at the bookstore.
We come out of the bookstore and there's this big truck in the way.
He's offloading all these boxes and I'm trying to get on the street.
And as I'm turning right onto the street, the right part of my car scrapes the car that's
parked and it's a black sedan car.
So now I know, right?
This is the scratch.
So I get out of my car and walk around the car.
I see the black scratch and I just raise my hands to the sky and just laugh.
I'm sure the people who saw me must have thought this woman is absolutely nuts.
Wouldn't be the first time you look crazy.
Right?
So here I am, leaving the note on the black sedan car.
So all these things were happening and I started hearing things, seeing things, knowing things,
hearing the spirit world.
And after 12 years of this and writing things down, because I thought, this is just a deja
vu.
I'm so skeptical.
I'm so scientific.
And I needed proof over and over again that what I was experiencing was real and it wasn't
coming from my brain.
And so I would, anything that happened or I saw things in a dream or in a meditation,
or I would just know things, I would write it down because it was a way for me to verify
that information.
So after 12 years of this, I am thinking, okay, I need to go back to work soon, but I
can't go back to programming.
I want to do something in healing.
So I come across this medical school on the internet, naturopathic medical school.
And then I realized it's a real medical school.
It wasn't just something you could do in a year.
I was like, four years of medical school.
There's not even any guarantee I'm going to get in.
I'm going to have to take all the pre-rex, the chemistry, the bio, the physics.
And then, you know, after finishing all of that, there's no guarantee they're going to
accept me because I'm going to be so much older.
Well, I closed the computer, walked to the kitchen.
Now my kids are old enough to there in San Francisco, you know, they're taking the subway.
And as I'm walking to the kitchen, the spirit world drops in on me.
But now it's been 12 years of me listening to the spirit world and every message I have
received in 12 years have been accurate.
So at this point, I'm trusting what I'm receiving.
So the spirit world drops in and says, you have to go to naturopathic medical school.
You have to be a doctor.
And they said, you have to combine East and West, which is like combining all the new.
They said, you have to write two books, no wait, three.
And you have to bring messages to people.
And I'm like, what am I supposed to write about?
What are you talking about messages?
What do you mean messages?
And the spirit world answer was just when the time is right, we will let you know.
For now, just going on a roll in the prereqs, literally in two weeks, I was already taking
my pre-reqs.
And because I was a business and computer science major as an undergraduate, I didn't
have any of the like high school advanced placement biology and all that.
I had to start with advanced placement high school biology at the community college and
then get to the prereqs of biology, chemistry, organic chemistry and physics.
So I had to take all those classes.
And so that is how I ended up on, you know, going to medical school and I went to, I was
accepted and went into medical school at the age of 54.
Congratulations.
So everybody out there, it's a never too late to transform your life and follow and follow
that calling.
But that message of you're to write two books, no wait, three, I have gotten that exact message
with that exact phrasing four times from two professional mediums at Arthur Fiender College
in England, which is the top mediums in the world.
And two other times, one from a student and one from a friend who is who I met, who was
also a medium.
And the message is always the same.
You're to write two books, no wait, three.
That's so interesting.
So I'm always saying, no, why is that, that extra one is going to be different, I feel,
than the first two.
So I've written my first book, which is all about helping people transform their life
and follow their own calling and sharing a lot of my own stories of how the mediumship
developed and the spirituality developed for me to help people develop their own spirituality.
Yeah.
So let's do this.
We're going to spend some time talking about some of those spiritual things, or as I like
to call them spiritual gifts, because a lot of people after their NDEs have some kind
of spiritual gift or gifts that they did not have before.
Before we move on to that though, you had been an atheist.
Are you still an atheist?
How has this changed your belief?
You obviously believe there's something after this life.
My belief now, so we are eternal beings.
We don't, you know, we don't die.
The body dies just like if you're in a car crash, your car died, you go get another new
car.
Your body dies, you come back in a new body.
So it's that reincarnation and the spirit world, you know, when we leave this body,
we go on to the spirit world.
And I think eventually we reincarnated, we come back in another body, in another life.
My beliefs now is of course, in the spirit world, we are spiritual beings.
And in divine source, there is something out there that is of greater consciousness than
we are, and we are created in that liking.
Okay, I'm going to ask you to speculate on something.
You mentioned earlier that you were not given a choice on whether to go back or not.
You were just told you're going back.
Some people do have a choice.
So in your opinion, why do you think some have a choice and some don't?
I think it's just the incarnation that, you know, that, because I've heard, I met somebody
once at like a IAINTS meeting, International Association for Neodust studies.
And he said he had three outs.
He was told that he had three outs.
And this was one of his outs.
And he could have stayed if he wanted to.
It's like he had a choice.
You can go back and you can have this life and I'll look at all the fun things that are
going to happen where you can stay if you want.
This is one of your outs.
I didn't have a choice.
I feel like to a certain extent, we write a little movie script for what we're here to
experience.
And they were like, you can't stay because you have way too much to fulfill in this
life.
You can't go back and fulfill your incarnation.
So I feel like there is some sort of soul contract that we have about our journey here
on earth, because a lot of things that happen to us are in our astrological charts.
Right?
We can see things, major things that are happening in those charts.
So that's almost like your movie script in a certain sense.
Believe it or not, there is a lot, lot more to come from Dr. Lottie.
But we're going to put that in a part two of this episode and release that later this
week.
So I hope you'll come back and listen to the rest.
We're going to find out about her spiritual gifts, why her watches didn't work for 12
years, and a whole lot more until then.
I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.