1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,480 From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes. 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:13,440 They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. 3 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:18,120 And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my 4 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,320 physical body because I was somewhere else. 5 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:27,400 The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,400 anything else to be felt. 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,520 I was greeted by people I'd known in the past. 8 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,160 I'm back home again. 9 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:38,080 Incredibly safe and felt at home. 10 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:42,920 Welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody, and welcome to our very special guest today, 11 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,280 Felice DiMartino. 12 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,360 How are you? 13 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,120 I am wonderful, happy to be here. 14 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,840 Thank you. 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,360 Good. 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,360 Felice is a barrel of energy. 17 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,760 We are going to have fun today. 18 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,320 And I'm going to tell you, for our listeners, you're going to find out what it's like. 19 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:05,680 As a pedestrian to get hit by a pickup truck that's going 30 miles an hour or so. 20 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:11,120 So with that in mind of what's to come, would you mind just taking one minute and tell us 21 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,400 a little bit about you so we can get to know you, Felice? 22 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,480 Sure. 23 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,440 So I am a mom. 24 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:21,000 I have two adult daughters. 25 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:28,040 In their early 30s, I am a former Montessori educator in a Montessori school and consulting 26 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,760 for training centers. 27 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:37,360 And I have a loving, wonderful family that I am extremely, extremely grateful for. 28 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:45,800 And all the ways that I identified myself in my before, before the experience, has all 29 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,200 shifted, right? 30 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,440 It's been a really big identity reboot. 31 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,080 Do you have any grandkids? 32 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,640 I do not have grandkids yet. 33 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,840 Get those girls going. 34 00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:01,160 Well, let me tell you, personally, not that it's up to me. 35 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,320 I'm not ready. 36 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:08,240 Like I know, again, if I, it's not, it's not up to me, but I have a lot to do and be 37 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,800 an express before I want to be a hands-on full-on brand mom. 38 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,960 So there's that. 39 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:14,960 You can do both. 40 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,960 Don't worry about it. 41 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,960 All right. 42 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:22,560 I want to jump in and find out, let's go back to this day, December 2nd, 2015. 43 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,800 Correct. 44 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,920 What was going on this day that led up to this horrific accident? 45 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,880 Well, interesting. 46 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:38,400 You should ask Eric, because leading up to this accident, incident opportunity, I had 47 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,440 just gone through a few years, about 18 months. 48 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,800 A lot of things happen at once. 49 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,640 And the proverbial crap hit the fan all at one time. 50 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,360 I call it resiliency bootcamp. 51 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,680 And it was a series of events. 52 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:59,960 Never had an affair, house fire, empty nester, accident. 53 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:06,120 I was in Avid Ski or major surgery on my knee, theft of all my jewelry, not in this order, 54 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,120 right? 55 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:12,320 First came the theft of all my jewelry, everything I had owned, family heirloons, except what 56 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,560 I was wearing. 57 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:19,400 So empty nest that then the house had a flood on the bottom once the top was gutted and how 58 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,440 to be redone then the bottom had a flood. 59 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:22,760 So all of this stuff happened. 60 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,800 I took a leave of absence from work where I was teaching. 61 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:32,520 Just as I had gotten on my feet again was when the incident happened. 62 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:38,000 And prior that I had this call and I knew that if all the stuff that I had just gone 63 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:45,960 through could be helpful, if I could use it in service for others to help in any way, 64 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:51,720 it took some of the edge and the trauma off of what had just occurred. 65 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:59,440 So I was interested in pursuing that track and I was also being called to either do that 66 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,880 or expand upon what I was doing in Montessori education. 67 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,280 And I was kind of frozen. 68 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,600 I wasn't doing either one of those things. 69 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:15,480 And then the universe gave me the big dope slap and literally knocked me off my feet 70 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,320 with this truck. 71 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,320 So were you in a crosswalk? 72 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,680 How in the world did this happen? 73 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:28,800 So I had left work and I was walking to my car which was parked off campus. 74 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:34,400 And there's a light with a busy intersection that I had across and I waited for the light 75 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,120 to give me the right of way to cross. 76 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:43,680 I had been a little distracted because I was engaging with someone that I knew was not 77 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,240 in my best interest to be engaging with. 78 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,680 And I, it was on the phone as I was walking to the crosswalk. 79 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,640 So I put my phone away and I was still distracted thinking about it. 80 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:59,240 And still though I waited for the light to give me the right of way to cross. 81 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:07,760 The cars had stopped and about three quarters of the way across the crosswalk, a big pickup 82 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:16,000 truck came up from behind me and made a left hand turn and struck the right side of my 83 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,240 body about, like I said, three quarters of the way across. 84 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,480 And what happened was she had sped up to avoid an oncoming car. 85 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:32,000 So she kind of gunned it to make the left hand turn and hit me going about 30 plus miles 86 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000 an hour. 87 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,320 Sounds like she was focused on that other oncoming car. 88 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,320 Exactly. 89 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,800 Instead of her focus, yeah, being on you. 90 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,800 Exactly. 91 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,520 And you know, it was dusk. 92 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:48,760 It was kind of rainy out and yeah, she didn't see me and hit me in the crosswalk. 93 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,760 Okay. 94 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,160 So your body went flying. 95 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,440 Yes, my body went flying. 96 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,600 Is there a point where you felt like you left your body? 97 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,600 Yes. 98 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:04,480 So what happened was I whipped my head around to the right and this came to me after this, 99 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:11,960 this, this, this very viscerally, this memory, this visceral memory came up after about how 100 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:16,680 I whipped my head to the right, although times felt like it stopped. 101 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:22,360 So that moment was elongated that I whipped my head to the right and I made eye contact 102 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:29,800 very briefly with this pair of eyes that was in complete terror across the truck because 103 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:36,920 it was to the top of my nose, right, where my vision was across the hood of the car. 104 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:46,280 And I had a sense of falling and as that sense of falling was occurring, I was completely 105 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:54,560 popped out of my body and I was looking down at the scene and at that point I could see 106 00:06:54,560 --> 00:07:01,960 my body lying in the road, motionless, and there was a sense of disorientation because 107 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:10,640 I was fully existing at an awareness yet the, the, my body was laying on the ground. 108 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:17,200 So I wasn't in the body and there was some disorientation until I got my bearing straight 109 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:22,880 and then there was a question about being, am I going to be able to go back there into 110 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:23,880 that body? 111 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:31,400 And there was a very strong pull and draw because of all that I had just gone through 112 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,640 to come back to be back in the body for my kids, right? 113 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:42,480 I mean, having just gone through this resiliency boot camp and I understood that I would be 114 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:47,760 able to go back there and what happened was I was, so I was looking down at the scene, 115 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,520 I could hear what was going on. 116 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:55,800 I could feel the people that were gathered around the woman who hit me and a few other 117 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,480 bystanders. 118 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:07,440 I could see in a multi-directional view the woman, a woman going to the cross street to 119 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,680 stop traffic. 120 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:14,840 So I had this bird's eye view of what was going on and I also had a sense that it was 121 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:22,120 this limitless space yet there was like a spotlight was going on in this assessing period. 122 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,120 Wow. 123 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,120 Yeah. 124 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,800 Did you feel like, I'm having a hard time putting this question together because I'm 125 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,360 envisioning this whole thing happening, right? 126 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:38,640 And you are up in the sky looking down on the whole scene. 127 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,080 Was there a point where you went someplace else? 128 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,320 Yes. 129 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,720 Let's talk about that. 130 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:49,440 Okay, so it looked like my body was in one piece. 131 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:56,880 From that vantage point, there wasn't an awareness of what was going on internally in the body, 132 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:05,200 which was a lot, multiple fractures, internal bleeding, organ swelling and damage, a cracked 133 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:10,320 skull and brain, massive traumatic brain injury. 134 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:16,680 I couldn't see the blood that was internally or coming from my skull. 135 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:26,920 And as my body, it felt like the physical form was slowly losing vitality, right? 136 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:34,040 It was shutting down and these organs were slowly bleeding out. 137 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,200 I was bleeding out from my pelvis. 138 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:43,720 And I had the experience in the state I was in of lifting higher and higher and higher 139 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,360 above the scene. 140 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,360 And that part of me that was existing was being more energized. 141 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:55,480 So that's where all of the, I want to say life force, not life in a body, but that's 142 00:09:55,480 --> 00:10:01,280 where all of the energy was being infused to the state that I was existing as the body 143 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,680 was shutting down. 144 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:07,440 It's interesting that you felt, although it sounded like you felt sort of at the same 145 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,120 time, hey, I want to go back to that body. 146 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,800 Did that last, did that change? 147 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,280 It wasn't even, I want to go back. 148 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,000 It was, am I going to be able to go back? 149 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,040 Okay. 150 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,560 Much more of a question. 151 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,560 Yes. 152 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,560 Yes. 153 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:29,280 It was much more of a question of, am I going to be able to go back there to that and exist 154 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,280 in that form of the body? 155 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,640 And I understood that I could go back. 156 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:43,560 So that comes up a little bit later, right before I came back after I experienced what 157 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,560 I experienced. 158 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,560 Yeah. 159 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,080 It's just interesting that connection. 160 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,800 And your girls were what? 161 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:50,800 Teenagers then? 162 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:51,800 Young teenagers? 163 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,480 They were, no, they were both in college. 164 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,520 So they were late teens, early twenties. 165 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,880 But you still felt like they needed you. 166 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,880 Oh yeah. 167 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:03,880 Yeah. 168 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,880 You felt that connection. 169 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:05,880 Yeah. 170 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:06,880 That connection. 171 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:11,960 And cause I had been doing a lot of healing and they had gone through trauma, witnessing 172 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,560 their mom going through trauma, right? 173 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:20,360 From all that had just happened and really feeling that we were in this healing phase, 174 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,360 right? 175 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:26,840 Or me as a mom really wanting to show up more fully again. 176 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:31,440 And I'll get to this, but what happened is before I came back into my body, there are 177 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:36,720 different, I'm going to call them vibrational frequencies or dimensions or planes of existence 178 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,160 that I experienced before I got to this point. 179 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:46,520 When I was coming back into the body, there was a sense of urgency that, and again, I'll 180 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:51,720 share about this with this presence that was other than my own that was sharing with me. 181 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,000 If I wanted to go back, I needed to get back. 182 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000 Like it was time. 183 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,640 I had to get back because my body again was bleeding out and there was a lot going on 184 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,800 internally that it was time. 185 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:09,240 I don't know what would have happened if I had chosen or if I didn't go back at that 186 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,160 moment when the urgency built to, all right, if you're going back, you have to go back 187 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,160 now. 188 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,160 Okay. 189 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,640 Well, go ahead and tell me what happened next as you can remember it. 190 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,880 So it's very clear and very vivid. 191 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,920 So there's not really, it's interesting. 192 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,480 I don't feel like I have to remember it. 193 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:30,000 It kind of lives inside of me as this experience. 194 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:37,880 And as I was lifting higher and higher above my body, I found myself in this pure blackness. 195 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,720 And it was an illuminated blackness. 196 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:51,480 I say blackness yet it was, it's like, we don't have words for these states or colors. 197 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,320 So I'm doing it the best that I can. 198 00:12:54,320 --> 00:13:01,080 But it was blacker than black and it had a sense of being illuminated. 199 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:06,120 And in this state, there was simply being. 200 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,160 There was no worry. 201 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,160 There was no fear. 202 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,600 There was no separateness. 203 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,800 I was simply part of the blackness. 204 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:23,320 And I say I and I indicates that there was a separateness yet there wasn't a separateness. 205 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:35,200 It was it was simply being a part of this expansive beingness of this illuminated blackness. 206 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,000 I do not understand what illuminated blackness means. 207 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:45,720 I know it's it's it's like it's there's there was a luminosity in the black. 208 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:54,160 There was like it was like a shining quality that shown from within it. 209 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:58,880 Almost like it would it be kind of like black paint that it's really shiny has a super 210 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,800 glossy tone to it. 211 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,800 Sure. 212 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,800 Sure. 213 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,800 That great. 214 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,800 Yes. 215 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,800 Maybe that's the only thing we can relate to here. 216 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,800 Yes. 217 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,800 So. 218 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,800 Okay. 219 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,800 Keep going. 220 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:15,080 So I was simply in this space merged in with this blackness. 221 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:23,800 It was simply being it was like pure presence pure a pure state of being. 222 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:29,560 And at some point there was a quality of a of a shift. 223 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:36,320 I want to say there's a quality of a it was still a blackness yet it shifted a bit to 224 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:43,360 have this quality where it felt like I was floating in a cocoon and I was aware on the 225 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:54,120 periphery that there were others like me floating in cocoons and they were other than me yet 226 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:59,480 we were all had a quality that we shared. 227 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:09,120 We were all made up of similar material and in that state there was an understanding that 228 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,080 this was a waiting place of sorts. 229 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,320 And as I was floating there was no worry. 230 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,840 There was no doubt. 231 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,840 There was no fear. 232 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:27,440 There was no again it was a it was a quality of simply being yet there was an understanding 233 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:33,400 that there's was a waiting for something and an energy what we call thought. 234 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:41,920 I'm going to call it an energy packet started to come up from within that space of well 235 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:47,640 if this is a waiting place what and what is the waiting for like what are we waiting for 236 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:56,680 and as that built up I was immediately met with what I was waiting for and then I was 237 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:01,480 in this place and and I say that that's the seed of the law of attraction right because 238 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:07,760 there's no density there's no resistance there's no the ego questioning there's no fear about 239 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,840 what it is we're waiting for it's completely met. 240 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:16,640 Just like the second you have a thought or this energy packet of thought culminates you're 241 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:21,320 instantly met with that which it is that you were having the thought the wondering about 242 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,320 it. 243 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,040 Do you have any questions before I go on. 244 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,720 Yeah I do have one question. 245 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,640 What do you make of the cocoon. 246 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:33,680 I don't know that I've heard that that description from somebody before was it like a protective 247 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:39,280 layer around you was it what was mobilizing you from one place to another what do you 248 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,680 think. 249 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:48,240 It felt like it was it almost feels like it was a membrane around me that was I went 250 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:54,920 from this sense of being fully in communion with everything in the blackness to being 251 00:16:54,920 --> 00:17:03,600 having a sense of being a form that was I don't want to say individualized yet that 252 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:13,440 was distinct so it kind of kept this distinction from for me and then the others that were 253 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,320 floating that I was aware of the periphery. 254 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:23,080 I haven't really thought about it in those terms before or had that question it's more 255 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:29,320 of a sense so practicing giving words to it is really helpful thank you for that question 256 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:34,400 and again there was no it was it was there was no fear there was no worry there was no 257 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:42,080 doubting it was all simply being it's almost like when you're a newborn baby in a pure 258 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,440 state so I hope that answers the question. 259 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,760 It's as well as you can I can tell. 260 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:49,760 Thank you. 261 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,360 Okay what happened next. 262 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:58,440 So as that culminated the wondering of what am I waiting for I was immediately met with 263 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:07,640 this presence I'm going to say effulgence of pure light and there was a form that was 264 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:14,680 made up of the light yet wasn't necessarily distinct from it in terms of oh there was 265 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:20,840 a person or a it was there was like a subtle shape but it was made from the form that's 266 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:26,960 the only way I can give words words to it and I knew that this presence that was made 267 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:34,280 up of the light was other than my own yet I was being in communion with that presence 268 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:41,840 who was there to share information for me to show me things to was there purely for me 269 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:49,960 and with me and in that state that presence had neither was neither male nor female it 270 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:55,320 has qualities this this this energy being had qualities that we would attribute to both 271 00:18:55,320 --> 00:19:01,360 male and female it was completely like I said completely there for me with me to answer 272 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:08,400 questions and to show me things and it was as if I and I use this analogy a lot because 273 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:13,960 I find it's it's maybe the most relatable if you put your forehead to someone else's 274 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:20,640 forehead and you understood and knew in an instant everything about that person that 275 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:28,640 soul the soul's journey the human experience past present future about that person through 276 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:34,600 the lens of the soul and the eternal part of them all of this information was coming 277 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:42,560 to me at work speed and that's another thing this these states and these these this experience 278 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:49,600 is timeless there's no time as we know it linear time on the human on the earth plane 279 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:55,880 and a lot of information was shared with me in that place about what I had been experienced 280 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:05,720 on earth about these deep soul lessons and soul incarnations time after time there's 281 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:13,760 these core lessons that we learn through experiences and and I was shown again at light speed all 282 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:19,080 of this information and you remember most of this information or just remember that you 283 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:28,680 knew it at the time so there are definitely some things that I remember in that state 284 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:36,880 and when I came back there are aha moments that that connect in with what I was shown 285 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:44,800 in that state and there are things that there was a point where I where I told myself in 286 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,760 that state and this presence that I would remember everything that was shared with me 287 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:55,720 and upon coming back there are things that I know that was shared in some distant memory 288 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:03,520 yet I don't have a firm grasp of every detail and it's funny that you say that because lately 289 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:09,920 I've been feeling like I want to go into some hypnotherapy to remember because it was so 290 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:16,360 profound I want to remember all those details again and I just don't there are a lot of 291 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:26,840 details that I do have a deep that I walk with a deep understanding and knowing of experientially 292 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:32,240 and then there are things that I that are so foggy I just I don't remember all the details 293 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:38,240 must be a little frustrating you know it's interesting I move into the which what's with 294 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:45,120 frustration is moving into trust and surrender trust and surrender and all as well so so 295 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:51,800 it's really helped me enter into not being frustrated right to remember that what I was 296 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:58,480 shown had to do with acceptance surrender compassion grace non-judgment all of those 297 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:03,440 things that help one not be frustrated. 298 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:09,160 When we spoke earlier you had mentioned that you had a life review is this the point where 299 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,600 that's coming I don't want to jump too far ahead. 300 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:19,720 No that's okay I you know my experience of a life review a life review in these states 301 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:27,560 can look different for everyone right for me it was understanding what was going on 302 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:36,160 in my life at the time what had led up to that what the nuggets for my soul's evolution 303 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:48,720 and growth were and being able to feel and sense what other were going through indirect 304 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:55,760 relation to my actions right even the woman who hit me at some point I felt this responsibility 305 00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:03,000 of I'm sorry please forgive me right because she was in such trauma and horrified right 306 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:08,560 so there's this and not in a judgmental way you know when we leave and we're on the other 307 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:14,160 side it's not like there's some being who's going to judge us it's more that our soul 308 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:21,720 and we get to review how we impacted others and how our lives and our circumstances are 309 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:28,560 a direct result of the choices that we've made so any sense of what we would say judgment 310 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:35,280 comes from our own self in connection with a part of us that's in connection to that 311 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,120 higher self does that make sense. 312 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:42,480 Yeah and the more that I learn about life reviews from talking to people about theirs 313 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:48,720 is it yeah it's not meant to be a judgment session it's meant to be a learning session 314 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,000 can you think of one thing that you learned from it? 315 00:23:51,000 --> 00:24:02,680 Yes I learned I learned that forgiveness so I've heard I heard three major things before 316 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:10,440 I came back and in that state and one of this is that I had the experience of all is truly 317 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:17,240 well and that there are pillars of all is truly well and at the time that I got hit 318 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:24,600 I was engaging with this person who had had an affair right there was this betrayal and 319 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:32,080 I understood about the different layers and levels of forgiveness that he was just being 320 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:37,920 who he was being in his own soul's learning and growth and evolution and I was able to 321 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:44,040 come back when I came back and have a deeper sense of compassion and recognize that and 322 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:49,200 I don't know if this is answering the question that as souls we're connected we exist on 323 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:54,000 multiple planes of existence right some are through the felt senses and some are through 324 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:59,200 senses that many people don't have access to because they haven't been cultivated so 325 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:06,600 on a soul level you can be connected with someone and you can have compassion I'm getting 326 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:13,680 kind of off tangent but you can have compassion and forgiveness and understanding and give 327 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:19,640 them grace in their humaneness so I think I was shown and understood about different 328 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,440 deeper levels of forgiveness including self forgiveness and the ways that we're so hard 329 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:28,960 on ourselves and hold ourselves to standards that are dictated by society and culture that 330 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:34,640 we live in forgiveness is one of the toughest things for us to do in this life did you learn 331 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:42,080 some kind of a secret of how we can more easily or more fully forgive others yeah so what 332 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:48,240 I was shown is that you know I was a person that that that walked around with not a lot 333 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:53,720 of boundaries right I would see the essence of who someone truly is and treat a person 334 00:25:53,720 --> 00:26:00,600 as their potential rather than who they were being and in turn then we get physically 335 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:08,760 mentally emotionally we suffer forgiveness ties into expectations the expectations we 336 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:16,840 have of others and of ourselves and what I was able to understand deeply is that and 337 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:23,000 it ties in with boundaries is that you can acknowledge the essence of who someone truly 338 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,280 is and pay attention to who they're being and have boundaries especially when you're 339 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:37,200 not safe in any one of those realms forgiveness it's like if we can do that we're then in 340 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:43,440 less situations where forgiveness is number one called up to be looked at I was shown 341 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:51,120 that forgiveness really is and truly starts with oneself for example oftentimes we know 342 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:56,800 what we know that we know that we know and we don't pay attention to what we know and 343 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,840 then we move to situations and circumstances where maybe we feel like we have to forgive 344 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:08,080 ourselves for not listening to that inner nudge and what we know so so the practice 345 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:19,560 of of listening to oneself and your body and your your own indications creates less circumstances 346 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,720 it just it creates more alignment with acceptance of self I don't know if this is making sense 347 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,320 or if I'm getting off on tangents there are layers to forgiveness there are layers and 348 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:34,200 levels to forgiveness giving ourselves clock time you know like there's a lot of things 349 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:40,400 about forgiveness and and oh po no po no right forgiving oneself forgiving others asking for 350 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:48,680 forgiveness and to be gentle it's you know our body has a clock time and to not be hard 351 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:54,560 on ourselves for going through the different stages and levels of forgiveness time does 352 00:27:54,560 --> 00:28:02,800 its thing time earth time linear time clock time for the body does its thing and as time 353 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:10,600 goes the body is able to discharge and come into more of a neutral state where forgiveness 354 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:16,240 is then possible because we're not as triggered I know this is a long talk around I hope this 355 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,360 is making sense for people yeah I wanted one sentence that would just wave a magic one 356 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:26,600 and so I could go get I want to forgive this one person darn it doesn't it doesn't happen 357 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:32,440 as easy as I want it to her as fast as I want to I want to forgive this person today but 358 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:37,960 I have these hard feelings still that I have to get over how about this how is this for 359 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:44,680 me what is this showing me what can I do with this how can I grow from this asking yourself 360 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:50,880 those those questions rather than allows us to open up to more of a space of forgiveness 361 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:55,960 because everyone is our teacher relationships are our teacher so when we can shift from 362 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:02,120 a victim which often goes hand in hand with forgiveness right because if you're feeling 363 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:07,440 like a victim at the hands of someone else then there's a reason is created to forgive 364 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:14,040 that person so I feel like it's clock time for the body and it's also moving from a 365 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:20,000 victim mindset like this was done to me and I'm not saying whether you believe things 366 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:25,400 are done to you or for you I'm not getting to that what I'm saying is we have a choice 367 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:32,680 to say how is this for me and then we can move more easily into forgiveness is that 368 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:39,680 helpful oh yeah I'm just I'm a huge believer in it like forgive as fast as I can that's 369 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:45,040 why I just wish I were even better at it something I've tried to cultivate and develop over the 370 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:50,640 years but this is about you let's keep going with your experience and I realize this may 371 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:56,440 not be a completely linear thing so when I say tell me what happened next tell me tell 372 00:29:56,440 --> 00:30:02,880 me what else happened so I was in this state all of this information was being uploaded 373 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:08,760 downloaded I understood the nature of the ego mind the nature of being human what was 374 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:17,240 going on in my life at the time purse on a personal level and also how it is to be an 375 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:26,840 embodied expression on the hue for all humans of of the love of that source energy of being 376 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,880 in alignment with the voice of our soul so so what was shared with me was related to 377 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:38,320 my path in particular and in general about the humans and human being as I'll call it 378 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:45,160 and being incarnate in a body and at some point there was an urgency to get back into 379 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:51,080 the body there was an urgency of if you're going back you have to go back now and that 380 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:56,280 urgency started to build one of the last things that I heard was when you go back it's time 381 00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:03,680 to live big I heard it loud as and clear as we're talking now when you go back it's time 382 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:11,520 to live big and I knew in all different ways what that meant it's time to live big and 383 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:16,840 I said to this this presence right before I started to have this sense of descending 384 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:29,800 down who are you and I heard I am you and then I was left with me I was left with the 385 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:40,960 sense of me starting to incarnate again into this body face to face with that I am presence 386 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:51,000 that soul spark of divinity that is also me and there was a sense of descending into 387 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:59,400 the body I also at some point around this time heard and could see as I got lower and 388 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:05,760 lower there were EMTs over me and they were talking and I saw my mouth moving but I wasn't 389 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:14,320 there I was witnessing and hearing with senses that are others than the site and hearing 390 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:23,600 there are like amplified senses and I felt this sense of being squeezed it's like I was 391 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:31,320 existing as this expanse and also I was like a genie being squeezed into a bottle and there 392 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:36,680 was this density and this weightedness at the same time as I would it's like I was existing 393 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:46,000 in both places I was out of my body completely expansive aware of oh there are sirens oh 394 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:51,240 like oh that's for me that's for me as that body but I was existing as a me outside of 395 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:58,120 my body and this also this sense of being squeezed in and I heard yelping sounds from 396 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:05,480 the physical form the next thing is that I was in an ambulance and I was above looking 397 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:12,720 I was on the top on the ceiling of the ambulance looking down I could see there was an EMT 398 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:19,000 at my head hold squeeze in my head together because there was a profuse amount of blood 399 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:25,080 and there was they were doing what whatever EMTs do in the ambulance right and there was 400 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:30,680 someone talking to me and I was popping in and out and also existing in both places at 401 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:31,680 one time. 402 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,640 You were half dead half alive basically. 403 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:43,640 Yeah and and again I couldn't see what was happening internally so when I came in to 404 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:52,360 fully back online I won't say online but I was still existing outside for so long I 405 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:59,920 was in a trauma unit they took me to a further hospital because it had a level one trauma 406 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:07,960 unit and there was organized chaos going on around me there was one nurse that I remember 407 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:16,200 was had an energy had this very soft warm motherly nourishing nurturing energy otherwise 408 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:21,720 they were like it was frantic right here comes this woman who's been hit by this truck so 409 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:22,720 that's what happened. 410 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:27,360 That's it is there anything that you left out while you felt like you were out of your 411 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:32,040 body was there anything else that happened or that was communicated to you or that you 412 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:33,040 saw. 413 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:48,600 I was able to see understand feel know with a capital K no in a multi sensory multi understanding 414 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:55,960 way that all fit together all of the information that was being imparted all of what it's time 415 00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:02,680 to live big meant all of what my soul was experiencing again on earth and what there 416 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:07,960 was to learn from that it was all done like it's like when you take a rubik's cube and 417 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:14,600 you see all the different squares on the rubik's cube right it's like it was seen from senses 418 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:21,440 and felt and understood and activated and from senses that we don't have names for even 419 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:28,640 beyond the all the Claire's right there boy and all of those it was like senses and colors 420 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:34,440 and planes that we just don't have words for so yeah and my and the biggest thing is for 421 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:40,200 me is coming back is really integrating I really learned a lot about actually being embodied 422 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:47,680 and grounded on the earth in a body and our bodies are these amazing tools of information 423 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:53,960 and we have wisdom encoded in our bodies and that we don't need to have a near death experience 424 00:35:53,960 --> 00:36:03,680 to access expanded states of awareness to access deep soul rememberings and deep soul 425 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:10,400 knowings that children are born with children come into it until they grow up and things 426 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:16,000 happen right is that we can return to that state and you feel like that is us remembering 427 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:21,880 what things were like before we came here to earth and we're born or is some of that 428 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:29,080 genetics from our ancestors that is passed down what do you think that is both both 429 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:34,680 okay that makes sense yeah both and you know in ancient times when I came back there was 430 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,400 a lot of yes my body had a heel because there's a lot of trauma I had to walk and learn to 431 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:44,800 walk again and talk again and I was in rehab and I had visiting nurses there's a lot going 432 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:51,880 on and I felt so blessed by this experience and I had a very hard time knowing where my 433 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:59,400 body began and where other where other energy began it was like walking as this just big 434 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:06,680 energy field and so I took a lot of trainings and courses and certifications to be able 435 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:11,040 to harness all of this energy like what do we do what I do with this right how can I 436 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:16,560 use it of service and services huge when I was told all is truly well there were the 437 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:24,880 pillars of all is truly well that I was shown which are gratitude faith surrender compassion 438 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:31,160 service love I'm sure there's more I was shown a lot about intention so there's a lot of 439 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:35,000 different things that we didn't have to talk about because I went on and on forgiveness 440 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:41,800 well we'll come back to some of this I have one more question about the NDE itself because 441 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:48,000 you talked a lot about this being and and I believe your words were that you you learned 442 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,680 that the being was you is that exactly what it was or was the being separate but you were 443 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:59,520 learning from the being there was a there was a presence that was other than my own 444 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:06,760 yet that when we merge we could merge together for this presence to share information with 445 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:16,560 me and I came back and I said who are you and this presence said I am you and then 446 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:25,040 I was left almost looking at myself it's a part of and we all have this it's a part 447 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:36,560 of my higher self that eternal place within that is in communion with the great eternal 448 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:44,840 source so it was that is that more clear it was like the spark of divine it was it was 449 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:51,760 a spark of the divine right and that we are all co-creators this presence was showing me 450 00:38:51,760 --> 00:39:00,800 how our intentions how our co-creations we are all have this ability to be co-creators 451 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:08,720 and this presence was at a vibrational frequency that some may call the angelic realm some may 452 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:18,600 call for me it was a very pure crystalline diamond like this pure pure pure pure light 453 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:27,400 energy so this presence existed out of vibrational frequency that also exists within me it exists 454 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:34,640 within all of us yeah we're all connected yet this presence as you call it you've called 455 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,880 it a being and a presence and a couple other things I'm just trying to figure this out 456 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:44,040 just a little bit more a lot of people use the term guide or spirit guide did you feel 457 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:50,920 like this presence was a guide for you yes I don't you know it's funny like it when I 458 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:55,760 say what is your name I mean I've heard I've been in communion and in communication with 459 00:39:55,760 --> 00:40:04,960 these realms of light and this these frequencies and the name isn't as important as the essence 460 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:11,720 and as the the frequency itself so some people would call it an angel some people would give 461 00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:18,200 it the name you know a light being some people it was a very high presence and it was very 462 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:25,600 familiar to me it knew me and I knew it okay let's talk about what's going on now for just 463 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:29,760 a minute before we move on about what's going on with your body down here laying in the 464 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:34,800 street paramedics come we already heard about the ambulance a little bit do you have an 465 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:40,120 idea of do you know if your heart actually stopped not that that would make this any 466 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:47,120 less real I'm just curious yeah I don't I didn't have paddles on my heart what I was 467 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:55,600 able to see understand no feel is that the physical organism was shutting down and it's 468 00:40:55,600 --> 00:41:00,720 and I've used this analogy it's like a tea kettle right when you have a tea kettle and 469 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:05,440 you put it on and the water starts to evaporate it's like the water was the body starting 470 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:11,600 to evaporate and the steam was starting to rise as the body was starting to shut down 471 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:19,440 like the steam being the state I was existing in yeah that makes sense and and if you didn't 472 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:24,680 get back in this certain amount of time it was just going to be too late your body would 473 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:31,480 be too far gone yes there is a sense of you need to get back like it if you're going back 474 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:36,480 you're going back you have to go back now if you want to go back yeah okay alright let's 475 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:41,520 get back to where we were things that you were learning from all of this let's let's 476 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:47,840 talk about some more of those you mentioned all is truly well and some of those things 477 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:52,640 how about living big yes you said you knew exactly what that meant I don't know what 478 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:58,320 it meant for you what did it mean for you so I was not living at the in that moment 479 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:05,720 it's like when we play small out of fear out of excuses out of our egos drive to keep us 480 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:15,560 safe and comfortable I was having these deep inner soul nudges and callings yet I wasn't 481 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:21,560 doing any of them I wasn't listening so you know living big it could be yes it could be 482 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:28,200 you go on you you have this big dream and go for it it could also mean your soul is 483 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:34,240 calling you to eat a certain way it's living in alignment with your truth and with that 484 00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:39,640 inner knowing right acknowledge that all the reasons and all the excuses and all of the 485 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:46,720 this that and the other thing come in the way and finding ways to live in alignment with 486 00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:52,160 the voice of the soul so there's that and there's also I don't want to I want to be 487 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:57,160 very careful that this doesn't come across as a spiritual bypass kind of thing because 488 00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:03,440 there are real traumas that happen in people's lives and that hijacked the primal brain that 489 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:09,120 keep us from doing certain things because in the past it hasn't been safe so it's living 490 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:14,800 big for me meant paying attention to the voice of the soul and continuing to return back 491 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:20,320 to that place and being on purpose you know there's a lot of talk about purpose we all 492 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:29,400 have this shared purpose to remember who we truly are as love that we all came here to 493 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:37,840 be embodied expressions of love knowing itself and then we have our individual nuance ways 494 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:43,800 and paths of how we show up in the world with that physically how long did it take for you 495 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:49,920 to recover from this. Oh goodness well you know I still have to be kind of aware of certain 496 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:57,160 things I was in rehab then I had visiting nurses at the house and OTs and PTs that would 497 00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:03,000 come sounds like a few months well at least a few months I mean even you know if I if 498 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:08,120 I'm doing too much yoga I hyper extend my hip flexor but yeah it was it's been it was 499 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:13,640 pretty intensive I'm gonna say for the first two years really you came back from this 500 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:21,120 a different person how did that affect your relationships with people around you well 501 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:26,680 there's a part of me that was you know it's interesting I would have these questionnaires 502 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,800 to fill out like what are your preferences what do you like and I was a totally different 503 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:35,320 person when I came back so it took a little while to say well who am I now what are my 504 00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:43,040 proclivity is now my family was extremely supportive there are some places that I was 505 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:55,480 almost living my life as I was before yet it no longer fit who I am now with this experience 506 00:44:55,480 --> 00:45:02,840 and this embodied experience of like the ultimate capital art reality I don't I don't know how 507 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:07,480 to answer that question other than to say that my you know what I'm drawn to and the 508 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,320 vibrations that I resonate with now are different. 509 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:16,040 Let me ask you a couple of specifics for example your daughters so they're young adults at 510 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:23,120 that point was your relationship with them better or worse after this I would say we 511 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:31,320 always had a very close relationship and better because you know a we're all just happy that 512 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:37,720 I was alive right like they almost lost their mom be you could walk off the street and get 513 00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:43,160 hit by a truck tomorrow literally so living authentically and expressively and from the 514 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:50,840 heart deepens relationships so although we were always close and supportive there's 515 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:59,200 no like there's more expression I would say now like this authentic deep conversation 516 00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:06,440 expression right there's no holding back in the expression of love and acknowledgement 517 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:11,560 and understanding and compassion and accepting that everyone's on their spiritual path everyone's 518 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:18,920 on their soul path and allowing people to be who they are. 519 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:23,280 Thank you for listening to part one of our discussion with Felice part two will be coming 520 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:29,720 out later this week and in it we'll hear more about how her life changed from her NDE and 521 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:34,840 we'll talk about the shared death experiences she had with her father and grandmother and 522 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:40,680 a whole bunch more to be alerted as soon as part two is live be sure to follow or subscribe 523 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:47,040 to this podcast and click on over to roundtripdeath.com to sign up for our newsletter updates until 524 00:46:47,040 --> 00:47:05,920 then I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.