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From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.

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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.

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And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my

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physical body because I was somewhere else.

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The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't

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anything else to be felt.

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I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.

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I'm back home again.

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Incredibly safe and felt at home.

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Before we jump into today's interview, I just want to mention that it's with Gary, who

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lives on Maui, not too far from where the tragic fires burned.

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Our discussion was recorded a few days before the fires, and I'm happy to report that Gary

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and his friends and family are all okay, but many of them lost their homes and businesses.

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Our thoughts, prayers, and aloha goes out to all those dealing with this tragedy.

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Always remember Maui Nokaoi.

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Welcome to Roundtrip Death, everybody, and I'd like to welcome our special guest today,

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Gary Gillette, all the way from Maui.

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How are you, Gary?

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I'm doing fine.

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How are you doing?

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Good.

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Now, one of the things that I've learned in doing this podcast, when we started, I assumed

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that maybe there were some people out there that had had one NDE.

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I never even thought somebody might have two, let alone three, let alone how many you've

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had, which there's our little Ts that we're going to get to later as we get chatting today.

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But Gary is a lot of fun.

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Tell us a little bit about you, Gary.

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Well, I guess you would say multifaceted.

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I learned at an early age that creativity is life.

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And so I got into being an artist and then a musician, and then I played around with the

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art of voice acting.

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And then I became more serious of a writer, I guess you could say.

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When I traveled a bit and I learned languages as I traveled and the accents of all the different

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countries and all the different plays and all the different ways of kind of creating,

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you know.

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So I guess I'm still doing that.

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Nothing's changing.

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Should I put you on the spot and ask you to give us a couple here and there?

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How about Irish?

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Well, you want to do Irish accent.

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We're going to start that way, aren't we?

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Sure, why not?

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How about good old Hawaiian pigeon English?

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Oh, hey, brother.

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What are you talking about, Hawaiian?

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Yesterday I go for Bayewan Bay.

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Oh, yeah, everything for no brother.

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All right, we're going to have fun with Gary today.

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And you're way up on the mountain on Maui and have a great view.

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But let's take a different kind of view now.

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Let's look back over some of your near-death experiences starting when you were very young.

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Tell us about NDE number one.

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I was just born.

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So that is pretty young, isn't it?

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So how can you remember it?

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That's the question I can't wait for you to talk about.

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I guess the funny thing is you aren't a human when you die.

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That's all I'm going to say.

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I was a baby.

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I was just born and I remember my grandmother who told my mother.

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My grandmother was very religious, by the way.

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She told my mother, pick out a grave.

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He's not coming home because of SIDS, a sudden infant death syndrome, which I think was just

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an infant death syndrome back then.

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I don't know if they changed it or whatever.

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But I know that I was among other babies and a lot of us died and didn't come back, but

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I was one of the ones who did.

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And in all seriousness, do you actually remember some of that?

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Or did you just grow up knowing that you had had this experience from others?

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Both because you are never in doubt.

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When you actually have a new death experience, it's more real than what we consider life

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now that you think is a real.

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This whole mayan, this illusion we call life is exactly that.

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When you die, you're like, oh, yeah, that's right.

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I forgot.

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I'm a spirit.

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I'm not supposed to necessarily be in human form, but here's what happened.

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I was like, okay, so I was delighted to come home so soon to tell you the truth.

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And they said, well, we took a boy from your family earlier, nine years earlier than I had

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been born, my brother.

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So I was like, and I'm trying to make out what the relevance was as a spirit.

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I'm like, so what?

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And so you have two beautiful daughters, you're two beautiful girls, but they're praying and

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crying for a boy because they took Michael, who had died from pneumonia when he was a

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baby, six months old, actually.

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And so I said, okay, so they said, so you're going to go back and you're going to live

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with this family and they're going to love you.

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I said, well, not as much as you here, not as much as here.

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It's impossible.

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They said, they're going to do the best they can, give them a chance, go back and be a good

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boy and be the boy they've always wanted.

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And that was my message.

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That was it.

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So you were a baby.

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How old were you?

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Just born.

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Just absolutely newborn.

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Okay.

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Almost just fresh.

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I'm not sure how long it was, but later on my mom conferred.

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She said, yeah, she says, I couldn't believe that, you know, that we were going to lose

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you and then here you were.

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You were back.

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I said, yeah, no, I took it kind of matter of fact because I was there, remember?

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Yeah.

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I remember the song 50 ways to leave your lover.

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Yeah.

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I'm wondering how that applies to your situation of how many different ways can someone die

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in their life?

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Well, there's one.

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If we were to redo that song into, you know, 50 ways to pass away or whatever.

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Do we really want to go there?

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No, we don't.

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But your next NDE is so freakishly unusual.

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Take us forward to the eight year old little Gary.

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I think that would be a good verse in the song.

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I can make one up right now, but I'm going to go ahead and tell you the facts of it.

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Okay.

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So I'm watching cartoons, me, me, and all the road runner and what's up, Doug?

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All the gang, you know, and I'm having a great time.

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And I hear something outside and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And I said, oh, it's just a lawnmower.

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So I look outside and sure enough, my friend is helping his brother mow the lawn, a little

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strip of grass behind a store called 50 Mart where I lived, you know, right behind the

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store.

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And I was like, this is pretty cool.

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So, well, Bugs Bunny can maybe wait.

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I'm eight years old and I got my PJs on and my family still asleep and let's go explore

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the world.

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So I put my slippers on and off I go.

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Where were you living then?

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This was a different era.

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1967, Haasina Heights, California.

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Okay.

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So, it's beautiful Saturday morning.

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All right, keep going.

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So I walk out there and I see my friend and I hear the lawn being mowed and I smile and

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wave and I'm, Hola, Hola, amigo.

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Hey, Gary, Hola, que paso?

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Hola.

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So we're all like happy and smiling and he's my, you know, he's my schoolmate at school

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with his brother, older brother, Miguel.

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And so I was like, okay, some guys come sit here or stand here and watch.

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I mean, what else have I got to do?

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It's kind of a cool thing to, as an eight year old, if they can, this guy's making money

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doing this.

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This is amazing.

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What a world.

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And then I hear the sound of a very, very loud, I guess you would say like steel being thrown

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into a wood chipper.

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It's like, and then next thing I know something slaps my neck.

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Just go slaps.

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And I was like, what the heck was that?

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And I'm just like trying to make sense of it.

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And I'm going, amigo, que se esto?

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Oh boy, they're saying words I didn't know yet.

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Miguel, Miguel, look, look, look, look, my God.

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It's like, what's going on?

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And I kind of feel this liquid trickling down my neck.

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I taste it.

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Oh no, that's blood.

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That's not water.

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It's probably not going to end well.

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That goes my Saturday morning, you know, cartoon viewing.

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Because I usually, you know, 7am to 3pm, you got that full day.

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So they finally settled them to turn the mower off.

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And the next thing I know, they're saying, you know, siéntate, siéntate, siéntate,

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siéntate, siéntate.

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So I sit down and I'm still trying to figure out what this thing is in my neck.

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And apparently it's sticking out quite a ways towards quite a sight.

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And you can see on the book, this boy is about to die, the life, death and life of Gary G.

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On Amazon, you can see the picture of me laying on a gurney.

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I don't know if you have it with you, but that would be a good thing to show.

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And what happened apparently was the lawnmower picked up a bolt about six inches long, I

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would say something like that.

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And it's a winding incline steel bolt that's maybe an easy half inch round that's used

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to mount transformers onto the utility bolts.

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Well, it shot it right into my neck on an angle.

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It just stuck right in there and thankfully, I guess it became its own cork.

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So it stayed in there.

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And then after a while, people were starting to come out of their houses and Ray Montanez,

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one of our barbers came over and he put up a roll up a blanket or whatever from the from

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the barber and rolled up and put it under my head.

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That felt kind of good because it took the weight off the bolt.

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And next thing I hear, here comes the, here comes the, what's going on?

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Oh, this is for me, isn't it?

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My sister told my family, they thought I was hit by a car or one of the neighbors did and

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they were kind of freaking out cause I'm just laying on the grass.

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So they didn't know what happened either.

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And for me, it just was like, okay, so this is just another day in the life of a young

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boy.

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Can I just interject something?

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Because lawnmowers back in those days were a little bit different than they are now.

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They used to throw the grass out the side.

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They sure did.

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And if you had a grass catcher, it was on the side, but most people didn't.

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They're much safer now, but they used to throw rocks and.

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Oh yeah, I got hit by a lot of them.

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All kinds of things.

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I've never heard about somebody getting hit by a six inch bolt.

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Yeah, that was quite a fling when you think about it to be able to shoot it.

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I'm eight years old, so I'm roughly what four and a half feet off the ground.

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Yeah.

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And it shot straight up, right into my gut.

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It actually stuck in your neck.

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Did it hit the jugular?

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Oh, here's the key.

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It missed my jugular vein and spinal cord by one eighth of an inch, which I learned later.

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In the meantime, I'm in an ambulance going, this is great.

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I'm in an eight year old in an ambulance going through red lights going, this is me.

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This is so cool.

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And the next thing I know, I'm starting to get a little heavy-litted.

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My dad's in the back with me.

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And I'm feeling like, ah, this is kind of a good place to...

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So I fell asleep.

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I guess they gave me something to help me with that.

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But I felt no pain.

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I felt no anguish.

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Remember, I already had one near-death experience.

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It's kind of hard to scare a little boy who was taking on the world to begin with.

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And then I've already had something that was traumatic to most people.

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So I was, next thing I know, I am on a gurney and the picture shows me on a gurney with

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a thing stick and I should have a picture for you.

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We'll get a picture and we'll post it with this.

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Yeah, okay.

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And then I'm just watching them operate on this little guy.

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And I'm watching them going, wow, I hope they don't cut off that shirt.

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It's his favorite shirt.

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He, it says, one of his, I had two pyjama tops and they were all like all the national

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football baseball teams.

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And I had one red one and one blue one.

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And this was my blue one they were cutting.

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And I was like looking at it going, huh, he likes that shirt.

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I was, I was just, I was totally apart from the whole scene.

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I said, wait a minute, how do I know this boy?

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Oh, that's me.

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Oh, they're operating on me right now.

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So you felt like you were in the same room?

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Were you like up by the ceiling?

240
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:09,240
Were you, yeah, I was watching from like above, like the ceiling area.

241
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,000
And I'm listening to the doctors and I'm taking, well, I was pretty good life eight

242
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,120
years, not bad.

243
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,640
So you didn't feel, you didn't feel traumatized.

244
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,000
You weren't scared.

245
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,600
You weren't desperate to get back in that body.

246
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,640
Not the least, but no, I was more celebrating.

247
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,880
I was celebrating the fact that I had a great life.

248
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,000
He was a sweet little boy and I'm going to miss him.

249
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:35,480
And the next thing I know, I'm for lack of a better term on the other side.

250
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,680
And what did you see and experience there?

251
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:44,080
Oh, love, just pure love and acceptance and, and, and them laughing because they knew I

252
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,080
was going back.

253
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:50,080
There's a lot of joy in, in, you know, heaven or whatever you want to call it because I'm

254
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,080
surrounded.

255
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,440
I see my brother and I see other, other people I recognize by the way, even though I don't

256
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,000
know why I recognize them.

257
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,200
You're going too fast.

258
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,040
Give me more detail.

259
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,680
Is there a journey to get there?

260
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,280
For example, some people talk about a tunnel.

261
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:04,280
Some don't.

262
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,120
Do you remember any of that part of it?

263
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,840
Oh, here's the funny thing.

264
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,000
Remember I already had one.

265
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:13,280
So I think it was the quickest route I ever imagined.

266
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,560
It wasn't like going through a tunnel or anything.

267
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,960
I was just there.

268
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,680
And without any preconceptions, I already knew what to expect.

269
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:21,680
I guess.

270
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,520
So by the time I was there, I was like, Oh, this is wonderful.

271
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,520
I'm home.

272
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,920
I'm like, you're not staying.

273
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:28,920
Why not?

274
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,360
You know, eight years, that's a long time to put into a human body.

275
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,280
And they're like, no, you're going back.

276
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,840
You have to teach people.

277
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:42,480
You have, you get to, you know, your honor, your reason you're doing it.

278
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:48,960
And the higher part of you knows this is that you're going back to tell people, I guess,

279
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:54,120
what it's like to, to get over the fear and, and to be fine joy.

280
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,760
And actually what they told me was your job.

281
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,040
And this is what they reiterated from when I was a baby.

282
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,800
And I didn't tell you this, your job is to teach love.

283
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,920
I said, Oh, goodie.

284
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,960
I got an easy one.

285
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,960
So my job is to teach love and you're going to be fine.

286
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:14,480
And we're not taking you away from this family because we already took one little boy.

287
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,480
Remember that?

288
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,480
Yeah.

289
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,480
So you're going back.

290
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,480
You're going to be fine.

291
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,080
You're going to, you know, be able to learn from this and, and you're going to find joy

292
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,560
and you're going to be happy.

293
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,960
And, and we think that you're going to be a good little boy and go back.

294
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,080
I said, well, I guess I am no choice of the matter.

295
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,960
But the higher part of you knows the higher part of you says, Okay, this is, this is our

296
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,960
job.

297
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,640
This is our, this is what we signed up for.

298
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:45,160
And so I woke up and I'm surrounded by cameras and news crews.

299
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,640
They all reported me dead.

300
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,800
It was like six minutes or something.

301
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,360
I was dead and I had this big, huge bandage on my neck.

302
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,360
Huge.

303
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,560
And I was looking around going, what's going on?

304
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,560
Oh, that's right.

305
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,720
I'm back.

306
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,560
But I have toys and books.

307
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,640
Who brings a little dying boy books?

308
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,240
That's what I want to know.

309
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,440
You wanted the toy toys and candy.

310
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:14,040
Oh, my sisters got into this idea that they were going to share my candy.

311
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,240
I had a tree full of, you know, lifesavers.

312
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,360
They're not getting any of that.

313
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,360
Maybe some from the book of lifesavers because I got a lot of candy.

314
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,760
A lot of candy and toys.

315
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:28,560
And I had a hippo that was spotted, beautiful, beautiful hippo.

316
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,560
And I'm surrounded.

317
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,360
People are asking me all these questions.

318
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,000
You know, what's it like?

319
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000
What's it like on their side?

320
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,960
But they're thinking, you know, what's it like to be, you know, having gone through

321
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:37,960
all this?

322
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,360
And I said, I don't know.

323
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:44,440
I mean, essentially I'm back and, you know, I'm a kid, you know, what do I know?

324
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,360
How do I describe this to you, you know, to fellow humans?

325
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,720
How do I describe it to adults?

326
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,800
So lots of smiles and lots of pictures and toys and candy.

327
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,960
And then they left.

328
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,720
Well, and that was back in a time where the term near death experience had not even been

329
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,720
created yet.

330
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:00,720
Precisely.

331
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,720
Right.

332
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:06,600
And so I imagine they treated you more like, I don't know, were you tabbed as the miracle

333
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,600
boy?

334
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,600
I actually was.

335
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,600
Yeah.

336
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,600
The miracle.

337
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,600
Yeah.

338
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,600
See, I could be a headline writer.

339
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,280
Well, you were.

340
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,360
But you did, you know, you did, I obviously do some writing in that.

341
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,320
And it was called the one in a million accident.

342
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,320
Wow.

343
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,320
The miracle boy.

344
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:31,640
It gets more interesting because what happened was, and this is something that you know,

345
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,400
you know, your listeners or you can take with a grain of salt.

346
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:41,960
But the doctor came in and told my, you know, my, my, my mom, Mrs. July, you know, I go

347
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,200
to the same church as you do.

348
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,040
So I have no reason to pre-vericate.

349
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,400
There's no reason I would lie about this.

350
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,280
X-ray I'm showing you, I cannot show to the press.

351
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,280
She said, why?

352
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:59,720
She says, because it shows the bolt slightly bent to miss your son's vital organs, but

353
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,480
I hold the bolt in my hand and it's perfectly straight.

354
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,120
He said, when we took it out, it wasn't bent.

355
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:09,880
He said, that's a bit much for some people to take.

356
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:14,760
And he said, it generally was, it genuinely was a miracle.

357
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,360
And she said, wow, what can she say?

358
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,360
My dad said the same thing.

359
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,160
And we just kind of like, okay, you know, whatever.

360
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,200
My mom, it took her, she was a writer.

361
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,640
It took her three years to put this into writing so she could explain to me what I had gone

362
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,640
through.

363
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,560
She said, you saved several lives.

364
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,400
She said, there were so many miracles on that day.

365
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,160
I can only name five.

366
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:39,000
She says, for the most part, the first one was you didn't feel any pain.

367
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,160
Second was you didn't bleed to death.

368
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,200
The, the, the bolt acted like a cork.

369
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,760
The third one is you're not damaged in any way that is going to be longterm.

370
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,560
The fourth one, your aunt was afraid to have an operation, but she said, if my nephew can

371
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,760
go through this, I can have an operation.

372
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,400
It saved her life.

373
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,560
And the fifth one, she said, just you're still my little boy.

374
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,640
So wow.

375
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,280
That's really awesome.

376
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,280
That's great.

377
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,280
I love to hear that.

378
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,280
Yeah, me too.

379
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:13,720
Before we move on to your next unusual death experience, that's a new term.

380
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,080
I just coined.

381
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:20,240
Is there anything more about the eight year old boy that you want to tell us?

382
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:26,480
From that point forward, I became fascinated as you are now with the idea of leaving the

383
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,480
body and coming back.

384
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:32,080
And maybe there's more going on than we think in this three dimensional world.

385
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,160
Were you going to a church that taught you about that?

386
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,400
Or was this kind of foreign and new?

387
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,560
No, no, no.

388
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,400
No, there's nothing to, to deal with the church.

389
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:49,120
In fact, I became a heretic in a way because I was going to church and I think I was about,

390
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:56,320
I already studied quite a bit of religions and different aspects of near death and stuff.

391
00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:04,160
So by the time I was like 14, I was questioning the pastors and they had no answers.

392
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,000
And they were saying, there's only one way to get there.

393
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,800
And I said, I don't think there is.

394
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,560
I said, I think that there are many, many ways to get there.

395
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,800
There's many paths to get there.

396
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,040
And I don't think you can tell me any more than I already know as far as that goes.

397
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,840
I said, I appreciate your work in this aspect, but I'm not going to come back and listen

398
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,760
because you're saying there's only one way to go.

399
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,960
And I didn't, I didn't feel that.

400
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,680
I didn't feel that there was only one path.

401
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:31,800
I felt that your path was your path and it all led to the same place.

402
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,320
And if I had been born Buddhist, I would not be a sinner.

403
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:43,880
I would not be in a position to where I can no longer find my path back to my real, my

404
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:44,880
spirit.

405
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,400
So I said, so I don't, I don't buy it.

406
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,400
I can't buy it.

407
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,680
I studied Judaism and I studied Buddhism.

408
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,680
I studied all these.

409
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,280
And I said, so I appreciate your work, but you won't see me here again.

410
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,920
And I got back into the books.

411
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:03,600
In addition to that, I imagine it was unusual growing up during teenage years and things

412
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:08,480
like that with the knowledge that you had that other people don't.

413
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,280
You knew there was something more than just this life because you had experienced it and

414
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,280
remembered it.

415
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,280
Yeah.

416
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,680
I think what happens is I couched it in humor.

417
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:23,120
So I was able to get beyond people's fear by saying, well, here's what, here's what

418
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:24,240
I remember.

419
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:28,400
But you know, life is just, let's just enjoy it while we got it, you know, that kind of

420
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,400
thing.

421
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:34,280
So I got into that aspect of just being enjoying life.

422
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,240
So comedy was your therapy?

423
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:43,280
I guess comedy and playfulness and, and getting past the seriousness of people who really

424
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,000
essentially are just in fear of death.

425
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
Yeah.

426
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,400
But also having an experience like that, you can feel very alone.

427
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,120
You can feel like you're the only one.

428
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,120
Oh yeah.

429
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:57,400
That I had to call it a secret, but almost like you're the only one that knows this secret

430
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,720
and nobody else around you really understands.

431
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:07,520
And especially back then when people didn't know the term near death experience, who could

432
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,000
you even talk to about it?

433
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,880
Well, that was the hard part.

434
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,840
Even people who had the experience didn't want to talk about it.

435
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:14,840
Right.

436
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,160
There was no, there was still either very cloudy on it or they were terrified of it.

437
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,800
And I interviewed people like that all the time.

438
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:27,720
If they had their experience in the 60s, 70s, 80s, you didn't talk about it because if you

439
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,600
did people said you were crazy.

440
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:30,600
Sure.

441
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,240
And they would treat you that way.

442
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:38,480
So I think that must have been something hard to deal with at your age, not being able

443
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,680
to talk about it or process it.

444
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,280
So you turned to humor and that's a positive thing.

445
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:49,000
Well, if I'm already crazy, then I don't have to worry about what I tell people.

446
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Okay.

447
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,000
I get it.

448
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
That makes sense, right?

449
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Yeah.

450
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000
A lot of people would ask me about it all the time.

451
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,600
I'd say, well, here's what I've gone through.

452
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,640
It doesn't mean it's going to be your reality.

453
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,000
I'm only at that time 16, 17 years old.

454
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:09,240
And I got into martial arts and I got into meditation and deeper and deeper into it.

455
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:13,000
And I realized there's a lot more going on that I can't begin to describe to people.

456
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:23,040
But it doesn't mean that it is something that I want to marginalize because it's so powerful.

457
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:29,440
So I just said, listen, however you get to your point of spirituality is up to you.

458
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,600
But essentially there's no one's life that's like another one's.

459
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,640
So stop looking at someone else's life and going, oh, I wish I had done this or I'd

460
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:38,640
like that.

461
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,440
No, it's a waste of your time.

462
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,920
Just live your life the best you can.

463
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,280
Be a good person.

464
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,280
Love yourself.

465
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,760
That's the key I found.

466
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,160
By not loving yourself is what gets people lost.

467
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,160
Honor yourself.

468
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,720
You say, I have these experiences.

469
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,760
They're my experiences.

470
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,280
And I started writing the book back then, actually.

471
00:23:55,280 --> 00:24:00,120
I didn't finish this boy's book to die 33 years later.

472
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,120
Really?

473
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,120
Yeah.

474
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,120
Interesting.

475
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,920
Yeah, I just started putting bits and pieces together and then I started reading my mom's

476
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:06,920
notes.

477
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,760
I'm going, wow, this is real.

478
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:15,960
I better kind of find a way to come to terms with the idea of maybe teaching other people

479
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,200
how to deal with this.

480
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,960
You don't have that bolt, do you?

481
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,640
Yeah, sure do.

482
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,640
You do?

483
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:24,640
With me?

484
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,680
No, it's in my storage in California.

485
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:27,720
But you own it.

486
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:28,720
You have it.

487
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:29,720
You know where it is.

488
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,720
Oh, yes.

489
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:31,720
Oh, probably, yes.

490
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,240
Half of it with bloodstained.

491
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,000
It's beautiful.

492
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,040
I want to see that sometime.

493
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:43,480
And I have the articles from my uncle actually worked for the utility company.

494
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,360
So they put, you know, pain in the neck.

495
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:50,200
They put out a brochure, make sure you clean up after yourself, blah, blah, blah, all this

496
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,200
other stuff.

497
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,960
What does this say in the newspaper?

498
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,440
Here's a genius headline for you.

499
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,440
Bolt hits boys.

500
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,440
Wow.

501
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,440
Outrapt.

502
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,760
I was like, you guys took the day off.

503
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,480
How about, and boy can't hit back.

504
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,400
See, that would be better.

505
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,240
Something, you know, can you imagine?

506
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,920
At least pain in the neck is funny.

507
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,720
It gets you, it gets you mind going, why and how?

508
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,240
Yeah, we need the teaser.

509
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,920
All right, let's go forward to the year 2000.

510
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:26,600
And I know you can't have something really kind of bizarre happen again.

511
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,360
You know, some people are hit by buses.

512
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,360
That's pretty bizarre.

513
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:30,360
What happened to you?

514
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,560
Where are you going with this?

515
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,360
You were hit by a truck.

516
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,480
I was.

517
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,480
Tell us about it though.

518
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,000
Were you a pedestrian?

519
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000
Were you in a car?

520
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,000
What happened?

521
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000
Here we go.

522
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:50,960
So I was with my fiance, Laura, and she had just finished doing, we were both massage therapists.

523
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,280
We're called Healing Hands in California.

524
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,880
We were happily massaging people, making money.

525
00:25:55,880 --> 00:26:02,000
I was doing voice acting and recording a lot of different shows and doing radio.

526
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:08,880
And she was teaching English and she was an English major and had flown to England and

527
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,480
studied Shakespeare and all that.

528
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,560
We were quite a couple, but she used to tell stories on stage.

529
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:20,640
And then we got together and I kind of peppered some of her stuff with some, with more interesting

530
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:27,160
stories about non-angelic stuff because she told stories angels came to hear.

531
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:33,280
I mean, we were like salt and pepper, yin, yang, because she would tell stories and people

532
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,000
would bring angel gifts who never met her before.

533
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,160
It's just literally just something about her, my little angel on earth.

534
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,920
I called her, you know, just, this is amazing.

535
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,320
She couldn't do any evil characters.

536
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:50,480
I would audition her for evil, and she had her evil characters had to be nice.

537
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,040
So I had the witch being maybe kind of a little more adult and she actually loves children

538
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,040
and doesn't eat them.

539
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:03,120
She had a heck of a time doing my characters that I auditioned her for.

540
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:09,080
But we played and had a good time and did a few TV shows, you know, local TV shows and

541
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:15,320
a lot of shows like for libraries and museums and, you know, bookdays and schools, everything,

542
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,120
you know, we had a great time.

543
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:22,440
Well, one day we decided that maybe it might be fun to go to the Cajun Creole Festival

544
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,440
in CB Valley, California.

545
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,240
And I think it's a wonderful idea because I've never done it before.

546
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:35,560
So I picked her up at her chiropractor where she was doing massage that morning in CB Valley

547
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:36,560
and picked her up.

548
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,280
I'd already scouted the area and then I came back to pick her up, you know, because it

549
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,840
didn't start, it started about maybe nine o'clock.

550
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,360
I was there about seven o'clock, seven thirty.

551
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,120
So I went to go and pick her up because, oh, I dropped her off.

552
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,800
That's why I was there early.

553
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:54,440
And then I went to pick her up and brought her back and we had a wonderful day, Eric,

554
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,840
a wonderful day.

555
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,320
Just delightful, love, love, love, dancing, playing.

556
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:05,240
Well, here's where it gets a little bit, you know, more interesting is as we enjoyed the

557
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:11,400
day, we were heading back to the car and we were crossing the street on what they would

558
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,840
call an implied crosswalk because it's the only way to get to the parking lot from the

559
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:16,840
event.

560
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,680
And the parking lot was the train station, the old train station in CB Valley.

561
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,280
So as we're crossing, we're still dancing.

562
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:25,280
She's so playful.

563
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,280
She's so loving.

564
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,360
This is my girl.

565
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:30,120
And next thing I know, the lights went out.

566
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,080
They just went black.

567
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:36,960
Well, it turns out we were hit by a truck doing 50 miles an hour and took us both out.

568
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,360
Literally took us both out.

569
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:44,160
She flew a hundred ninety one feet and I flew about, I guess, eighty one feet and she hit

570
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,440
her head on a truck and died on the way to the hospital.

571
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,360
And I died with her from my injuries.

572
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,880
And so we went together.

573
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,240
Now that's something that you probably haven't encountered too many times.

574
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,280
No, I haven't.

575
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:03,120
And by the way, if we have a listener out there that died with someone else and you

576
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:07,080
both came back, I would love to talk to both of you at the same time.

577
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,480
That'll be a new one for the show.

578
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,480
Yeah.

579
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,480
Because guess who didn't come back?

580
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,480
Yeah.

581
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,960
So you were the only one that came back.

582
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,520
I'm so sorry to hear that.

583
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,520
Yeah, thank you.

584
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,000
I came back and learned to walk again.

585
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,040
But in the meantime, I was just in joy with this woman.

586
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,120
We were animals.

587
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,120
We were wind.

588
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,120
We were leaves.

589
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:30,280
We were everything you can imagine playing hide and seek in ice and just just unbelievable

590
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:35,240
stuff that I could just just barely describe to somebody in a three dimensional world.

591
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,880
It was so beautiful and so wonderful.

592
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:42,160
And she's and I could see her through the ice and she didn't know I could see her.

593
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,080
She was she played hide and seek in this iceberg.

594
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,960
And I was like, I see you.

595
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:53,160
So do you mind if we if we take this a little bit step by step and kind of chronologically

596
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,440
as you can remember it?

597
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,160
What's the first thing you remember?

598
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:02,040
Like like when you were a you were kind of up by the ceiling and you saw your body and

599
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,000
then you went to another place.

600
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,880
Did the same thing happen here?

601
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,560
Can you walk us through the story?

602
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:09,560
No.

603
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:14,520
What happened was it was just black and then I was with her and we were dancing and playing

604
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,880
and having that's exactly how it happened.

605
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,840
And where would you say you were or describe what it looked like?

606
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:28,400
We were in a world that is more real than this one because we were everything at once.

607
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:35,680
And because of that, we were able to enjoy each other's spirits and smile and play.

608
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,440
And there's no time space continuum out of the body.

609
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,360
You probably don't by now.

610
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,600
So because of that, we didn't know how long we were.

611
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,600
I felt like months.

612
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,280
You know, I'm sure it wasn't.

613
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:51,200
And then one day she smiles and just looks at me and I see her beautiful blue eyes.

614
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,200
And then I see beautiful wings or blue behind her.

615
00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:01,160
And I say, oh, I have a feeling I'm either going to get my wings or I'm not because we

616
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,200
used to talk about that.

617
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,320
And she said, nothing, but she just gently pushed me back.

618
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,820
And that was it.

619
00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:14,680
And I woke up in a very, very dark room and I thought I was on a boat.

620
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:19,200
Turns out I was on a bed that goes like this to get my circulation going.

621
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:23,040
And the machine that squeezes my feet for circulation.

622
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,920
And I'm asking the person in the dark, can you stop squeezing my feet please so I can

623
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:27,920
sleep?

624
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,520
But it's all in my head because I'm intubated.

625
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,960
Yeah, how long had you been in the hospital at this point?

626
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,720
So I was there at that point.

627
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,520
It was only a few days.

628
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,960
And then the lights came on and I saw what was going on.

629
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,520
I was like, whoa.

630
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,120
Oh, that's right.

631
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,320
I get to come back.

632
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,320
I didn't know.

633
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:53,080
And all the machines and everything are, I'm like, oh crap.

634
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,080
And without Laura.

635
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,200
How much grief was associated with that right then?

636
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:05,520
No amount of grief that was, I guess you would say, assuaged by love.

637
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,080
Because I knew that that was why I had to be there.

638
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,080
And I was glad.

639
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,800
I was grateful.

640
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,720
Not for my life, but because she didn't have to go through this.

641
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,600
Because I knew I could do it.

642
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:22,960
I was already gone through twice and I knew that I could do whatever I had to do.

643
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,800
I didn't know I'd be in ICU for five weeks.

644
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,760
27 bones broken.

645
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:28,760
I didn't know that.

646
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:34,920
All I knew was that I had to somehow find my way back to being whatever I had to do.

647
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,320
Learn to walk again, start all over.

648
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,080
I knew that was my job and she made sure I knew it.

649
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:47,000
I think you mentioned to me previously that you had another NDE during this experience

650
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000
in the hospital.

651
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Yeah.

652
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,480
That was not that long afterwards.

653
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,200
I was still in ICU in room number four.

654
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,200
And what was that like?

655
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,080
Did you get to go visit Laura again?

656
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,760
No, it wasn't Laura.

657
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,800
It was my brother from another mother, Greg from Germany.

658
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,400
And he came to visit me and he was all in his little suit and everything.

659
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,760
And he's a world famous linguist and everything.

660
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,640
And I saw a little thing on his shirt.

661
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,720
You know, I said, oh, you got the little linguist button.

662
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:20,400
And he had a little brown suit and next, I was gone again.

663
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:25,080
And the next thing I know, they bring me back because it was just a code blue and they threw

664
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,280
his ass out in the hallway.

665
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,280
I said, no, you can't be, because he lied and said he was my real brother just to get

666
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,440
in.

667
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:38,240
So did somehow that visit set this off to where you coded again?

668
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:39,680
Oh, yeah, it was a bit too much.

669
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,080
It was a bit too much for my heart.

670
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:42,080
Yeah.

671
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,720
I just, I mean, your body goes through all these things and new surprises aren't really

672
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,840
probably what you're really good for, you know.

673
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,440
So do you remember leaving your body again that time?

674
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:53,840
No, there was no time.

675
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:59,320
Well, not one, not the shortest because as soon as I blacked it was, I was back in no

676
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,640
great big bus gone.

677
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,120
And he later would say, I'm sorry, I almost killed you.

678
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,120
I said, what do you mean almost?

679
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,120
But was that what you did?

680
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,120
You did.

681
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,040
You got thrown out of the room and you did kill me.

682
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,040
And that was like I said, a short one.

683
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,120
And then next thing I know, I'm back on my mission.

684
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,120
What do I do next?

685
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,920
You know, what do I do?

686
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:17,920
Which is what?

687
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,600
Learn to walk again, get over whatever I have to do.

688
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:27,320
And actually the hardest day I ever had, the only day I actually cried was when I was actually

689
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:37,000
out of that room into a real room with what they call ABS, adult brain, ABD word.

690
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,920
Because they thought I might have had some kind of brain damage from that.

691
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:46,160
But they gave me tests that they said, there's no way, but you can have the whole room.

692
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,160
And I said, yeah, look around.

693
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,160
There's no one here, right?

694
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,160
I'll take it.

695
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:53,280
And they said, whatever it is, didn't mess with your brain.

696
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,600
They were giving me numbers to repeat and stories and I would give it to a verbatim.

697
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,600
That's amazing.

698
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,440
You can get hit by a truck and not have a traumatic brain injury.

699
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:05,600
Well, here's the funny thing is that I didn't know if I did or not, but they're giving me

700
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,840
a defenylhydentylen, dilantin, all the time.

701
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,480
And I did not like that because it burns your veins when it goes in.

702
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,360
It burns and you had to follow it with saline.

703
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:21,160
So I tried to get them off dilantin as fast as possible.

704
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:25,080
And I remember thinking, you know, this is the only time I'm really actually in pain

705
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:29,520
is because the veins felt like they were exploding with the dilantin.

706
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:34,080
And I said, if I'm able to pass the tests, can you get me off this crap?

707
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:40,240
But the only time I cried, I mean, because the dilantin would be, I was in a room with

708
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:41,800
four other people.

709
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,360
One guy just kept on calling for the nurse, even though he had a nurse button.

710
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,000
And his name was Bill.

711
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:52,720
So he was on my right going, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse.

712
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:56,280
I mean, Bill, shut up, push the button with the little nurse.

713
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,880
But he started, nurse.

714
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:02,080
The guy across from me was Cowboy trying to get off his horse.

715
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:03,080
He's trying to get out of there.

716
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,560
So apparently it wasn't the right word.

717
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,280
And he's going, I'm getting on leaving tonight, Gary.

718
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,280
I'm leaving.

719
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,280
I'm leaving.

720
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,720
I'm getting on my horsey and I'm riding out.

721
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:14,880
And he goes, you last time you did that, you broke your leg, Cowboy.

722
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,960
You may not want to do that again.

723
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:21,640
And the other kid was injured in a ski accident and he was in a lot of pain.

724
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:22,760
They had a lot of tubes.

725
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,080
So I had all the tubes in me.

726
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:28,040
So I was doing like voices and sounds to entertain him.

727
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,040
I was a little R2D2.

728
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,840
And then, I don't know, off to has all these tubes.

729
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,440
And what are we going to do?

730
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,440
So I would make them laugh.

731
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:35,440
And they were enjoying that.

732
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,480
And I was like, okay, so that's what I dealt with there.

733
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:44,760
When they put me in the big room, then I said, okay, there's no one here but me, you know?

734
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:50,800
And I liked that idea, but they showed me a video that was sent to me of Laura's funeral.

735
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,440
And that's when I cried.

736
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,040
And I didn't cry for me.

737
00:36:54,040 --> 00:37:01,320
I cried for the world because that's how much Laura was so powerful, so beautiful, an angel

738
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,960
that had to leave the Lurley.

739
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:09,680
And the nurses said, you know, you've done PT and you've done so good and we're just

740
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:14,040
going to let you stay in bed and bring you a hot tea and some blankets.

741
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,040
And that was it.

742
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:19,120
I had my good cry and let it go.

743
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:23,040
You mentioned angel wings a few minutes ago.

744
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,960
Blue angel wings, if I remember right.

745
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:25,960
Yes.

746
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:32,440
I always thought angel wings were, what's the word I'm looking for?

747
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,680
They were more of a symbolic thing.

748
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,040
That's what you get for not dying.

749
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,200
Yeah, I assume that they were a symbolic thing.

750
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:45,040
Are you saying that they're real that some angels actually have wings?

751
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:50,880
Yeah, but they are a symbolism of being pure.

752
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,280
And she used to see me on earth with purple ones.

753
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,840
She could see stuff like that when we massage people.

754
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,280
She could see pets you had as a boy.

755
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,960
She could say, oh, there's Timmy.

756
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,160
Look at Timmy, the little poodle.

757
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,240
And I can see a blob.

758
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:08,440
She could say, Timmy, oh, there's a horse.

759
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,440
What's his name?

760
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:10,440
Oh my God.

761
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,800
Freaked him out.

762
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,800
She had that kind of, you know, she could do that.

763
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,800
That's amazing.

764
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,960
So I wasn't that surprised when she says, oh, I see your wings are purple.

765
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,320
I go, they are.

766
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,400
And I said, I have a feeling yours are like kind of a bluish color because I could, I

767
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,400
could see auras.

768
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:26,480
And she goes, oh, I don't know.

769
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,120
I can't see my own.

770
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,640
She even wrote a book for me that she did.

771
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,160
I didn't see until she died.

772
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,360
Can you imagine that?

773
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,880
She wrote a book called Angel and Training.

774
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:42,040
And she died without me knowing about it until I cleaned out the file cabinet.

775
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,040
And it's complete.

776
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,040
The whole book is completed.

777
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,400
Is that something that you've had published or that's just a personal thing for you?

778
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,040
Still kind of working on it.

779
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,840
I haven't found an artist besides me.

780
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:56,440
And I don't know if I'm good enough to, I think I am, but I'm working on it to get

781
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,560
the beautiful illustrations I want.

782
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,880
My books are all ebooks, so I haven't had a chance to really do a hard copy.

783
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:04,880
But it's all finished.

784
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,360
It's all on white paper.

785
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:10,960
So I'm trying to put this whole picture together of this conversation.

786
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:17,680
And I think what comes to me as sort of the bottom line is you are someone that had opportunity

787
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:24,960
to die and not come back a few times in your life, but you were sent back.

788
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:30,160
I want to ask the big why, you know, I mean, you must think about this.

789
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,880
Why was I sent back?

790
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:37,480
And it may have been for your sisters early on, but at this point in your life, do you

791
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:43,600
feel like you have some kind of responsibility or mission or something else that you need

792
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:48,560
to accomplish before someday you're gone for the last time?

793
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,400
Virtually every day.

794
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:52,880
Every day I'm alive.

795
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,280
I think of that.

796
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,880
But I also am very zen.

797
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,160
So I know that my death is tomorrow.

798
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,160
Your death is tomorrow.

799
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:06,200
It's not something that you can say, Oh, I have to do this before I die.

800
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,040
I've written seven books.

801
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,960
I publish three.

802
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,440
I have others writing all the time.

803
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,920
Just to, it's more of a catharsis than anything else, but it's also, I've talked to people

804
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,920
and literally their lives changed overnight.

805
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,560
Just by talking, just by saying a couple of things that they needed to hear.

806
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:28,320
I mean, literally the last two weeks I've changed to, they had no idea until they asked

807
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,640
the right questions and I happen to have the right answers.

808
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,760
They didn't even read my book yet.

809
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,440
I just asked the question.

810
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:39,360
I said, well, the thing is, when you ask the right question, I will have an answer to that

811
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,360
baby you need to hear.

812
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,320
It's usually about, you know, respecting yourself and love and stuff like that.

813
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,120
Oh, here's an interesting aside.

814
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:52,440
When I was, I knew my mother was going to die.

815
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:58,120
I didn't know exactly when, but I knew I got kind of a feel in the air in October that

816
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:02,360
she was going to die soon and it was like very soon.

817
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,880
And I wasn't sure, but I dealt with it and I had, I cried then and I didn't cry.

818
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,640
My friend was with me in my driveway in Tarzan and he said, what's going on?

819
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:15,160
And I said, well, I just felt my mother die.

820
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:16,160
He said, really?

821
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,560
And I said, yeah, but I'm not crying for her.

822
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,920
I'm crying for my dad because he's going to take it really, really hard.

823
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,640
And he did.

824
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:33,200
He took it so hard that I wrote the epitaph and I wrote everything I could of the eulogy

825
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:40,640
and she visited me on the night I wrote the eulogy that night in the shower of all places,

826
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:41,640
Eric.

827
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,920
Okay, mom, I know this isn't personal, but what do you want?

828
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,560
Gary, I want you to tell your father one thing.

829
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,160
I said, what?

830
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,160
Forgive yourself.

831
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,680
Let it go.

832
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,880
And I said, well, what the heck does that mean?

833
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,320
He goes, tell your father to forgive himself.

834
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,320
That was it.

835
00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:59,880
And anything else?

836
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:00,880
I love you.

837
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,880
That was it.

838
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:02,880
My mom, whatever.

839
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,120
It was a short transmission.

840
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:11,240
I guess sometimes you have to be to the point and sometimes you have this little window

841
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:14,680
and there's only certain people that can actually hear it.

842
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:20,800
So I went into the kitchen and he's sitting there eating Cheerios and my dad was just

843
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:28,440
eating slowly and he's very dramatic and very, you know, very stoic about his emotions.

844
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,080
I said, hey dad, how you doing?

845
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:31,080
I'm okay.

846
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:32,080
How are you?

847
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,080
I'm fine.

848
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:38,240
I said, listen, mom told me to tell you something and boy, what?

849
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:42,800
Oh, this is not gonna end well.

850
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:47,800
And I said, well, she told me to tell you to forgive yourself.

851
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:51,800
In all my years, Eric, I've never seen my father cry before.

852
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:52,800
He lost it.

853
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:53,800
He said, why you?

854
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,800
I said, what do you mean, why me?

855
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,560
He said, how would you know?

856
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,800
I didn't even know what I was saying.

857
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,800
He said, I wouldn't let her go.

858
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,800
He said, she died in my arms.

859
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,800
I wouldn't let her go.

860
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,960
Like, wow, that's kind of powerful, but why you?

861
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:12,960
Why you, Gary?

862
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,320
He still didn't get the big picture.

863
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:21,360
I said, well, dad, you know how some people get UHF and BHF?

864
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:22,360
I get HBO.

865
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,400
I get Heaven's Box Office.

866
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,240
And she told me to tell you that was it.

867
00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:32,320
And from that point forward, he let go and he was okay.

868
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:37,360
But I was also given five more things to say that night because she wouldn't let me go

869
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,360
to bed.

870
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,600
Well, she did that two, three in the morning.

871
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:40,600
She woke me up.

872
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,320
Gary, here's five things I want you to say at my funeral.

873
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,320
Oh, really?

874
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,400
I get to, okay, let's do this.

875
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,360
So I took out, I'd already written everything that I thought I could think of, you know?

876
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:59,200
And then I took five or one small piece of notepad and put it and started writing.

877
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,120
You know, she started telling me things.

878
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:03,520
Love yourself while you can.

879
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:07,520
Love others while you, you know, this stuff that just seems basic, right?

880
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:12,800
You know, your time is limited, you know, don't judge other people, whatever, you know?

881
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,400
And I was like, okay, okay, anything else?

882
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,680
Number five, okay, there it is.

883
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:18,680
What else, mom?

884
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:19,680
That is it.

885
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:23,600
I said, okay, well, I love you.

886
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,080
I love you.

887
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,080
I love you.

888
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,640
She was gone.

889
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,480
And that was it.

890
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:33,520
And I paper clipped it and went to bed.

891
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:40,000
That next day, we did the funeral and I read everything off just as well as I can.

892
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,640
I'm a decent writer.

893
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,080
So I knew that there are things that people could relate to.

894
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:50,280
And I said, oh, there's five more things mom told me to tell you last night.

895
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:54,200
And if it was anyone else, they would have said, you're insane.

896
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,760
But instead they went, it's Gary.

897
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,280
Of course it's Gary.

898
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,280
We might want to listen because he doesn't pre-barricade.

899
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:03,560
There's no reason to make anything up.

900
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,640
And he's gone through all this stuff.

901
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,880
I said, okay, I read them off.

902
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:11,200
One, two, three, five.

903
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:12,200
Everyone was crying.

904
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,200
It's like, what?

905
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,480
I don't know what happened.

906
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:16,480
I still don't know.

907
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,960
I mean, my friend comes up to me and said, you know, me and my wife had a fight last

908
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:20,960
night.

909
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:21,960
We just went on and on and on and on and on.

910
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,880
We had no more tears to give.

911
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:24,880
We were done.

912
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:25,880
And you got us.

913
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:26,880
You got us anyway.

914
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:27,880
I said, what did he say?

915
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,840
And he said, it's not you.

916
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,400
It's the way you said it.

917
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,920
I said, what do you mean?

918
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,000
People said, yeah, it was your mother talking.

919
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,000
We didn't hear you.

920
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,000
I said, what?

921
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,600
I said, anyone videotaped us?

922
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:42,600
No.

923
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:43,600
Oh, no.

924
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,880
I could have to look out those notes and figure out what I said.

925
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,440
Either way, it got everybody.

926
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,000
And you know what happened?

927
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,960
I went back for those notes and they were gone.

928
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:55,960
I put them in my briefcase.

929
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,640
I put them in my briefcase and took them home and they just disappeared.

930
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:04,280
So for lack of a stapler, I have no idea what I said on that day.

931
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,120
I have no idea.

932
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,720
But she told them what she wanted to tell.

933
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,080
But yeah, that was pretty cool.

934
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:11,080
And I had visits.

935
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:15,440
In fact, when my dad died later, he and I became so close after that because he'd got

936
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,440
it now.

937
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,440
He'd got it.

938
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:22,640
And when he died, we were talking about Houdini leaving messages.

939
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:23,920
So he says, I'm going to try to do that.

940
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,120
I said, good luck with that.

941
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:26,520
Let's see who we could.

942
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:27,680
And you know what he did?

943
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:34,280
One time I came home and my messages were him trying to talk to me as a whisper like,

944
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,280
very scary.

945
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:36,280
But not scary to me.

946
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,200
But scary if you just hear, carry me.

947
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:40,200
That's me.

948
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,440
I know it's you, dad.

949
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,440
What are you trying to tell me?

950
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,320
Because you know about EVP, right?

951
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,760
It left the vocal recordings or whatever they call it.

952
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,800
So I was like, wow, he got through.

953
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:56,680
And I was like, he took up the whole bloody tape.

954
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,400
They don't have any space time.

955
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,680
So he was just telling me what he could tell me.

956
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,680
It's your father.

957
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:02,680
Do you remember?

958
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:04,640
I told you, here I am.

959
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:05,640
I love you.

960
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:06,920
It's your father.

961
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,680
It's me just over and over and over.

962
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,320
And you know, I had to do, I had to erase it.

963
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,640
It was the only tape I had.

964
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,360
And I was in the middle of doing recordings and stuff.

965
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:22,160
I was the only way I could, that in those days, you can only house, you know, they didn't

966
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,160
have a little, they said just one.

967
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,680
Yeah, that real to real quarter inch tape.

968
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:27,680
I remember.

969
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:34,440
So I said, dad, I told him, I said, I have to get messages from my agent, my manager

970
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:37,400
and all the other people in my life.

971
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,640
I'm just going to say I love you and goodbye.

972
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:40,640
And that was it.

973
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,040
A few more questions for you.

974
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,480
And I'll let you go.

975
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,240
How much fear of death do you have?

976
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:46,240
Really?

977
00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:47,240
That's the one you got?

978
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:48,240
Come on.

979
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,240
You got another one.

980
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,560
I have no fear of death, obviously.

981
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,080
I just wanted to hear you say it.

982
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:54,080
That's all.

983
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,080
I didn't have any fear since day one.

984
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,080
Why would I have a fear of death?

985
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,120
Something I saw as a baby.

986
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,760
And I had no preconceptions.

987
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:07,280
And that's the difference between someone like you and the rest of the world.

988
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:11,280
Most people, they don't talk about it, but there is some kind of a fear of death out

989
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:12,760
there because it's unknown.

990
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:13,960
It's scary.

991
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,080
Some people don't believe there is anything else.

992
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,720
So that would be scary.

993
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:21,640
What's more scary when you have preconceptions, I think, because you are trying to believe

994
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:26,400
somebody else's words for what is on the other side.

995
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,880
When you have no preconceptions, then there's no fear.

996
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:37,560
I never saw anything that made me think, wow, this is really just like I heard.

997
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,280
Nothing close to that.

998
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,360
But everybody, it's a subjective interpretation of your own reality in a sense, isn't it?

999
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,280
You will find what you need to learn.

1000
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,680
And so I found that healing is my forte.

1001
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,840
I broke my toe just a couple of days ago.

1002
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,600
I laughed it off.

1003
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:58,840
I broke my knee last year in Cheyenne in rupture of my quads because my knee didn't go over

1004
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:02,720
the e-bike when I went over the e-bike, the handlebars.

1005
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:09,040
And I was two months in rehab and walking up snow stairs and laughing the entire time.

1006
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,960
I said, that's all you got.

1007
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:16,240
You know, seriously, this is just another day.

1008
00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:26,080
So now I don't get sick and I don't feel like there's any day that I just go, I have to

1009
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:30,960
go out there, I get to experience this life.

1010
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,960
It's a privilege.

1011
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,880
And I remind myself and I try to tell other people what you say to yourself is the most

1012
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,520
important thing you'll ever hear.

1013
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:45,640
And if you say to yourself, I can't do this or I won't do this or somebody else is controlling,

1014
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:46,640
then they will.

1015
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,360
You'll give them the power over you.

1016
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:53,320
Even when you use the H word, which I've abolished for my vocabulary, you know which

1017
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,080
one I mean, right?

1018
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:57,880
So why give somebody that kind of power over you?

1019
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:04,000
Even if you say, oh, you know, I really didn't enjoy hitting my toe on that and I broke it.

1020
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,800
Well, how do I feel about that?

1021
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:06,800
So why let it go?

1022
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,400
You see what I'm saying?

1023
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:09,800
It wasn't the table's fault.

1024
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:14,640
The table was sitting and going, I tried to tell you, Mara, walk around me.

1025
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:15,640
I love it.

1026
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:16,720
All right.

1027
00:50:16,720 --> 00:50:19,360
Question number two and last.

1028
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:24,880
Somebody out there today that's listening to this is either grieving the loss of a loved

1029
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:25,880
one.

1030
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,600
There may be grieving something that's happening to them in life.

1031
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,600
What do you have to say to them?

1032
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:38,520
Those entities you're grieving know it and they are with you still.

1033
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:39,960
They're not just in your heart and soul.

1034
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:41,800
They're a part of you.

1035
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,080
They know.

1036
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:48,920
And when you quiet your mind, your soul, your spirit, meditate, whatever, they will tell

1037
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:53,960
you, you'll hear them because they're constantly trying to contact us.

1038
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:55,880
They're always trying to do that.

1039
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,840
But realize that they're okay.

1040
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:04,840
You know, that I think the hardest part is for the people left behind because we have

1041
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,600
to deal with the loss, right?

1042
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:13,320
So every night I say, you know, thank you to the universe in 35 languages and blow kisses

1043
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:21,160
to my fiance's picture on the wall and tell her I love her and I sleep like, you know,

1044
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,160
like a baby.

1045
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,200
That's awesome.

1046
00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:29,440
I can't wait until someday I can see you and Laura back together again.

1047
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:30,440
That'll be fun.

1048
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:35,520
Well, you will, but you know, hopefully, you know, it will be at the time when you're ready.

1049
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,520
Oh, I don't mean tomorrow.

1050
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:39,440
No, I don't mean that either.

1051
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:44,080
But I mean, we will be together because we're together now, you know, as you probably can

1052
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:45,080
imagine.

1053
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,080
She visits me in my dreams all the time.

1054
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:47,600
She plays hide and seek with me.

1055
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,720
In fact, a lot of dead people do.

1056
00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:51,880
My own grandparents like to do that.

1057
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,480
They'll all be sitting there and I'll walk in a room and they're eating at a table and

1058
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,240
they all look at me.

1059
00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:57,760
All the ones who have passed.

1060
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,360
They say, you can't be at our table yet.

1061
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,560
I said, come on, it's beautiful.

1062
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,640
No, no, no, you're over here.

1063
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:04,640
You can't join us yet.

1064
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,280
And they laugh and laugh and they go, you know what I know, you know.

1065
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:11,200
And he says, yeah.

1066
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:16,760
That doesn't sound like a fair game of hide and seek with people in the spiritual realm.

1067
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,440
They've got an advantage over you.

1068
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,440
Yeah.

1069
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,440
But I do catch them.

1070
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:24,000
I'm going to try to hide in the garage where he used to live.

1071
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,000
And I saw him.

1072
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,000
I go, you know, you're not with us anymore.

1073
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
He goes, yeah, you got me.

1074
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,840
It's like, really?

1075
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:32,840
That's awesome.

1076
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,440
Gary, Laura comes as little girls and animals all the time.

1077
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,720
So she, she gets to visit me all the time.

1078
00:52:39,720 --> 00:52:45,560
So this veil that we think is so thick between this room and the other is really very, very

1079
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:49,040
loose, you know, very, very small, very transparent.

1080
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:50,640
We just don't see it.

1081
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:57,320
You have to remember we're receivers that are designed to, to, to take in information.

1082
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:04,360
But I mean, we barely in a two mile radius of, of energy, we're maybe two inches of information

1083
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:06,920
that we can actually get.

1084
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:11,320
And every person who is looking through their eyes like you are now is interpreting the

1085
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,160
world differently than everybody else.

1086
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,880
Because you have to.

1087
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,880
Because your brain has to make sense of everything.

1088
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:24,000
It's there to kind of, to kind of help you figure out what it is you're perceiving, right?

1089
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:32,000
But if you perceive what you desire and perceive through love, the whole world changes slightly.

1090
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,000
Gary Mahalo.

1091
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,000
You're welcome.

1092
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,520
Appreciate you being with us today.

1093
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:40,920
I'll have a great time.

1094
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:45,780
Thanks again for listening and a quick reminder to follow this podcast and take a few seconds

1095
00:53:45,780 --> 00:53:47,280
to write a review.

1096
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,520
It helps others to easily find us.

1097
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:55,480
Until next time, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the

1098
00:53:55,480 --> 00:54:23,480
next.