Hello and welcome to Foley's End podcast. A podcast
created to plant the word of God into your heart,
giving you the tools you need to lead a life
full of the abundance Jesus said he came to give
us all. That's John 10 verse 10. Hello, I'm Gareth
Cox. And I'm Jessie Cox. I was so pleased you're
listening to our podcast and thank you so much
for joining us. We are continuing with our series
on raising a family. We've covered so much and
I've really enjoyed it and it is jam -packed
with good info. This however is the final episode
and if you haven't heard the previous ones please
do go back and have a listen. So Jessie today
we're talking about the Sabbath rest. Can you
tell me what the Sabbath rest is? Yes, if you
have been a Christian for a little bit you might
have heard people talking about the Sabbath.
And the Sabbath is a tradition that was established
within Jewish culture when Moses led Israel out
of Egypt. So the Sabbath is also mentioned in
the Ten Commandments, and it's a bit complicated
to explain with the time that we've got, so we're
just going to have a look at it from when he
says it in the Ten Commandments, because the
Sabbath is number four. Gareth, can you read
that in Exodus? Yeah, Exodus 20 verse 8, it says,
So it's super simple, it's just saying remember
it and keep it holy. And later on in the book
of Exodus, which is like the second book in the
Bible, if you're trying to have a look for it,
God gives a little bit more instruction. Exodus
31 verses 12 to 17. Instructions for the Sabbath,
this is titled. The Lord then gave these instructions
to Moses. Tell the people of Israel, be careful
to keep my Sabbath day. For the Sabbath is the
sign of the covenant between me and you from
generation to generation. It is given so you
may know that I am Lord, who makes you holy.
You must keep the Sabbath day, for it is a holy
day for you. Anyone who desecrates it must be
put to death. Anyone who works on that day will
be cut off from the community. You have six days
each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh
day must be a Sabbath day. of complete rest,
a holy day dedicated to the Lord. Anyone who
works on the Sabbath must be put to death. The
people of Israel must keep the Sabbath day by
observing it from generation to generation. This
is a covenant obligation for all time. It is
a permanent sign for my covenant with the people
of Israel. For in six days the Lord made heaven
and earth, but on the seventh day he stopped
working and was refreshed. So basically what
God's saying here is just like He rested, you
know, when He created the world that's mentioned
in Genesis, that He's saying this is how people
will know that you belong to Me, that there's
a covenant between us, because you're going to
work for six days, but on the seventh day I want
you to rest. And this concept was completely
unheard of at the time of the world. You know,
there was no such thing as a weekend like we
have now. Most countries, most groups of people
worked seven days a week. So I'd like us just
to have a think about that for a minute because
you can imagine from their perspective. you'd
be thinking, well hang on a minute, if we just
downed halls one day out of a week whilst everybody
else is working, we're going to fall behind.
Maybe we won't be as prosperous as everybody
else will be. And it was revolutionary for them
to have a day where they didn't work. Isn't the
truth behind this that you work for six days
and then you turn your focus to God on that seventh
day? Yeah, I mean, that's what it's become now.
But, you know, when God gave this commandment,
He was literally saying, you can't pick up sticks,
you can't make food, you can't do anything. Well,
there are, in certain religions, there is no,
you're not allowed to turn the light switch on,
you're not allowed to operate a cooker. It's
quite impressive, isn't it? The dedication that
people go to. I worked in a Jewish company for
a while, and there was somebody who really did
follow it absolutely to the letter. And they'd
have to rush home from work on a Friday to turn
all the lights on. Because if it was the winter
and it gets dark at four o 'clock, you can't
do anything. So actually, when God gave this
commandment, it was a complete non -activity.
It wasn't just focusing on God. It was you can't
do anything. And I think it's so interesting
because this is really a stance of reliance on
God. This is saying that you're putting your
trust in God to make you successful because you're
not working as much as everybody else is working.
You know, if the rest of the world is working
seven days and you're working six, but it's 52
weeks in a year, that's one day a week that everyone
else has got an advantage over you. I mean, that
adds up, you know, over the course of a year
or 10 years, it's a lot, a lot of work that you've
missed out on. But yet what this was doing is
it was saying you should put your reliance on
God to look after you, and it's not a self -reliance
thing. And I think this is where religion has
so got it wrapped around their neck because,
you know, religion says, you've got to work really
hard. You have to put, you know, I'm a self -made
man. Look what I've done. You know, I've got
to keep the scripture. I've got to work at it.
I've got to do it. And, you know, even the imagery
of the Sabbath is that you are putting your reliance
on God. to help you, on God to move you forward
rather than your own ability to work. It's pretty
powerful stuff, isn't it? Yeah, hugely. And I
think, you know, that concept just of itself,
there's a lot of us that don't really understand
that, that think, you know, I've got to work
really hard and there's a balance because it's
not all just, you know, you can't lay on the
sofa. You know, God still needs you to do something,
but there is that rest where you rely on Him
and that He can be the reason why you're so successful.
It's not all on your shoulders. Is this a theory
then? Because I'm struggling to understand this,
so everyone listening is going to probably struggle
too. Are we supposed to take that seventh day
off or...? Are we supposed to focus on God? Are
we supposed to go to church? Is it a Saturday?
Is it a Sunday? I'm aware that the Sabbath for
a lot of the Jewish religion is a Saturday. We
take the seventh day off, which is the Sunday.
What's the right rule? Look, first of all, let's
remember that what we take from the Old Scriptures,
from the Old Covenant, the Old Promise, now,
it's not, you don't throw it all out because
like we've looked at before, Jesus came to fulfill
the law. So it's not like, oh, it doesn't matter.
But we take it in the light of the new covenant.
So when we're looking at the old covenant, when
we're looking at the rules and the regulations,
we're looking at through Jesus. Because this
was before Jesus. One of my favourite scriptures
this year, Galatians 3 verse 13 says, that we
might receive the promise of the Spirit through
faith. So this says really clearly here that
the curse of the law, that you've got to do this,
you've got to do that, you know, if you do this,
then you'll get that. That's done. It's over.
Right? But what the Old Testament was doing is
it was showing, they call it like a shadow. So
they're going, look, this is something that God's
trying to show you. in the new covenant of some
principles that's helpful for you, okay? And
when Jesus was on the earth, he says, John 15
verse 5, he says, yes, I am the vine and you
are the branches. Those who remain in me and
I in them will produce much fruit. For apart
from me, you can do nothing. And you know, what
the Sabbath is showing is that there is an element
of inactivity. There is an element where we put
our trust and our faith in God. Because without
Him, we can't do anything. We have to be connected
to the vine, to the branch, so that we can have
much fruit. And much fruit is just, you know,
tangible evidence of God in our lives. I think
that's a really lovely explanation and I now
understand it. Great. However, we are told this
subject is raising a family. So how does that
fit into raising a family? So I think it's a
really good question and one of the things that
I think is so important for us to understand
is that we need to allow God's rest into our
homes. It is so important that we teach our children
that rest is necessary, important, and has a
place in our home, in our family. But you did
say rest, so we're talking about the day of rest,
but we're also saying trust in God at the same
time. So we obviously want to teach that to our
children. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And, you know,
in society now, like the mark of bearing much
fruit, you know, if you want to put like kind
of religious phrases on it. You know, society
now says you bear much fruit by being super,
super busy. So, you know, when you say to people,
how are you? Most people go, I'm sorry, brother.
I'm sorry, brother. Like that's the mark of success.
But, you know, our little children, this is their
childhood. This is a time for them to be kids.
And they have an element of rest with us anyway
because they're not worried about whether food's
going to be on the table or not if we're a good
parent. They're not worried about whether their
school uniform's going to be washed on a Monday
because they've got that rest and that trust
in us. But what we're teaching them is A, the
reliance on God, and B, a physical rest and relaxation
that is important for children. Is the word rest,
does it have multiple meanings at this point?
For example, rest in the Lord. Yeah, it absolutely
does because, you know, there's two types of
rest that I'm talking about here and I'm kind
of talking about them interchangeably. But one
type of rest is a physical rest, you know, where
we put our reliance in God to help us to be successful,
to grow us, to move us forward. We put our rest
and our trust in Him. And the other kind of rest
is a physical rest where we can allow ourselves
to have downtime and to have holidays and to
have days where we're not rushing around because
we're physically reminding ourselves of the rest
that's inside us. It's a reminder and it's what
our bodies need. You know, God's made us to need
sleep, to need rest, to need relaxation. And
it's that remembrance of we're doing this because
A, our body needs it, and B, because it's a reminder
of what's happening on the inside of us that
we're putting our trust in God. Do you think,
here in the UK, do you think the children are
getting enough rest? Are there any stats that
you can pull up that will give us a bit more
information on that? So in a UK study by the
University of Leeds, it says 36 % of primary
school children age between the ages of 6 and
11. are getting eight hours of sleep or less
on a weekday. And they're really supposed to
be having 10 hours of sleep. So 36 % of primary
school children are tired. And that's huge. That's
a lot of kids in that classroom. 10 in a class
of 30 are knackered. Yeah. The University of
Leeds says that these figures illustrate that
the inadequate or poor quality of sleep is very
common among UK children. And it is associated
with attention, concentration, learning and mental
health difficulties. And that's a lack of attention
and concentration in those areas. Yeah. And you
know, this is one of the things that my sister
who runs a nursery, you know, she always says
that when she's dealing with children who are
having tantrums or having paddies, you need to
look at their physical needs first, you know.
Are they tired? Have they eaten? Deal with the
physical needs of a child before you start going
in to correct their behaviour. Because you and
I know when you've had a few hours sleep, you
are not firing on all cylinders and you are not
the best version of yourself. Even adults. you
know, a professional study in Wales, which was
of primary school children, found that in 2022,
the proportion of children who reported getting
nine or plus hours of sleep had dropped to 68
% and it was 92 % in 2015. Right, so that statistic
is saying more children are more tired, is what
you're saying. Yeah, yeah. You know, society
is just getting so busy. And we're not really
prioritizing rest and sleep and relaxation and
play. You know, our schedules are absolutely
packed to the rafters. A study that Save the
Children did in the UK in 2022 said that only
27 % of children say that they play regularly
outside. and that's compared with 80 % of adults
said that they played outside aged between now,
aged 55 and 64. Yeah, to summarise that basically,
the parents said they would have played outside
more than the children play outside now. And
they're stuck inside on devices probably. Yeah,
I mean, you never tell if what I've just seen
on the internet is actually true or not, but
they were talking about releasing Toy Story.
Very exciting. And it's all about the toys competition
with the device. The plot is fighting against
a tablet. And for us as a society, we are so
busy. And I was talking to a mum at the school
drop -off and we were talking about the homework
that we've been given and we're complaining a
bit about, oh my gosh. Like, so much, you know,
you step up a year and homework's huge. And she
was telling me that she's getting home from her
kids' activities at nine o 'clock at night. You
know, and that child's six or seven. You're getting
home at nine, and then you've got to eat dinner
and do homework. Like, that kid's not going to
be going to bed till half past ten. Well, they're
probably doing too much. Yeah, exactly. And I
just want to kind of... solidify this concept
that rest is biblical. So everybody knows this,
Psalm 23, but let's just think about this for
a minute. Do you want to read it Gareth? Sure.
Psalm 23. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not
want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores
my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake. Here we've got a very real
picture of how Jesus, how God deals with us,
and He makes us lay down in green pastures. He
leads us beside still waters. There's that element
of rest and trusting in God. Psalm 4 verse 8
says, in peace I will both lay down and sleep
for you oh Lord make me dwell in safety. Matthew
11 verses 28 to 30 says, come to me all who labor
and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For
I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will
find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light." And as parents, we have
got responsibility to maintain our family's time,
to teach our children that sleep, rest, relaxation,
play, family time is important. And to create
a culture within our family, because I don't
know if you will realize this, but we're forever
creating culture wherever we are. To create a
culture of it's okay to relax, and it's good
to rest, and it's important. And just like we
were talking about how the Jewish people stood
out from the crowd, because they didn't work
seven days, they only worked and still prospered.
So should we as Christians be different from
the rest of the world, that we're not stressed
out and we can teach our children to rest like
that, because that's what shows God's covenant
with us, that shows that we are His children
and that we have a good shepherd who looks after
us and restores our souls. Most of these, this
discussion has been about rest. Rest being trust,
but also rest not doing anything. Is there a
risk that people might take that to the widest
extreme and just say, well, not going to do anything.
It's going to lay down all day. I mean, there's
got to be some scripture in there that says that
we probably should go to work. Yeah, you know,
it's so interesting because I think... It's like
a pendulum, when the pendulum's swinging from
one side to the other. You've got some people
way over on the left of the pendulum that really
don't do much and think that 10 hours, 20 hours
a week is enough to work. Then you've got other
people on the opposite side of the pendulum that
never stop. It's a balance. You want to be in
the middle of that swing. I heard this great
thing this week which said, you know, when we're
talking about this, if this is kind of like soothing
your soul, like, oh yes, I should be relaxing
more, it's probably not for you, you're probably
on the wrong side of the pendulum. If you're
listening to me and you're thinking, oh gosh,
yeah, wow, okay, I really do need to rest and
relax, it's probably, this is the person it's
for, you're the person I'm talking to. Because
when we're listening to something, if it's not
challenging us, we've probably quite established
in that area. So, Yeah, there's a lot of people
out there that have this kind of concept of I
just want to be, you know, almost living a retired
life and then wondering why they haven't got
any money. They haven't got any money because
you haven't worked. 2 Thessalonians 3 verse 10
says, for even when we were with you, we would
give you this command, if anyone is not willing
to work, let him not eat. That's a hard one,
but it's in the New Testament, it's in the New
Covenant, and it's saying if you don't work,
you don't eat. And if you're only working two
hours a week, two hours a day, then you're not
going to be eaten very much. So we need to remember
that, you know, resting in God and allowing time
of rest, there's got to be a balance in it. Can
I read my favourite verse? You may read your
favourite verse. Proverbs 6, verse 6 to 8. She
prepares her bread in summer and gathers her
food in harvest. You love that one, don't you?
You know, and that's the thing, isn't it, that
God, you know, gave us. the ability to work.
And even when Adam and Eve were made, God told
them to look after the garden. You know, they
had a job to do. They had to look after the animals
and they had to look after the garden. And all
of us have been created for a work, for something
that God wants us to do. And it's about having
that balance. Can you give us any practical steps
to make this work in our lives with our families
whilst we're raising a family? Yeah. First of
all, I think one of the biggest pieces of advice
I can give to anybody listening to this is that
as parents and as adults, we are the ones who
set our schedules. Yeah, so we need structure,
don't we? Yeah. In our week. But this sounds
really silly, right? And I'm saying it slowly
because so many times when I speak with people,
it's like they haven't understood that they're
the problem. It's like that Taylor Swift song,
it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. So many
people are like, I have to do this and I have
to do that and I've got to go here and I've got
to go there. Who's making you do that? The majority
of it is you. You've signed up for it. We were
talking about this week. I've signed up for a
Bible college course. I'm in my second year.
I'm working full time. I've got the children.
I'm going to study that I have to do. Well, who
signed me up for that? Me. I'm like, I signed
myself up for it. Yeah, halfway through a marathon,
you can't give up, can you? You signed up for
it. You signed up for it, kiddo. So I think it's
important for us to realise that we have the
power, right? If we are feeling like our family
is worn out, if we are seeing those warning signs
in our children, and warning signs in our children
look like... being difficult, not doing as they're
told, not paying attention, zoning out at the
telly because they're tired, you know, big bags
around their eyes, you know, flipping out over
something ridiculous they wouldn't normally flip
out over. That's a sign of them being tired.
And we need to look for those warning signs and
we need to address them as the family and know
that we are the ones in control of what our week
is looking like. We fill the diary. We're the
ones that have said yes, and we're the ones that
fill our days. We do struggle though with trying
to please everyone, and we often say yes to things
that we think, oh yeah, well I just need to say
yes, but really I meant no. So is there anything
you can tell me about that? Yeah, so Jesus says
in Matthew 5 verse 37, he says, but let your
yes be yes. and your no be no, for whatever is
more than these is from the evil one." So by
pleasing people and going, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll be there, it's fine, you end up letting
people down. And that's just worse, isn't it?
Yeah. There's a Bible verse that says, be you
pleasers of God and not men. You know, and so
many times we can want to be pleasers of men,
but if we're doing stuff that God hasn't called
us to do, we don't have the grace to fulfill
that. So let me just explain that a bit. I have
two children and a full -time job. That is something
that God has given me. And I know that my children
are gifts from Him and I know that my job is
absolutely a gift from Him. So if I take on a
second year Bible college course that I've got
to do multiple assessments for and assignments,
I have got the grace to do that because it's
something that God has called me and asked me
to do. So he gives me the grace to fulfill the
things he's put on my agenda Well, in fact you
need to create space something's got to give
often hasn't it? To make space for something
new moving in something else has to move out
Yeah, but if I then say yes to things that God
hasn't asked me to do I don't have the same amount
of grace because I'm stepping out of This is
what he asked me to do and I'm trying to do it
in my own strength So it's really important that
when we're looking at our schedules, like you
said, one in, one out, you say that a lot when
we buy clothes, you bought clothes, something's
got to go, you know, when we take on something
new, or we're planning our family schedules,
we need to look at the whole week, the whole
month, and not just say yes to everything, but
to let our no be no. You know, your no is just
as valid and good as your yes. Yes and no need
to be used in equal measures. And this is something
that I think... I'm going to be a bit controversial
here, Gareth. And you're welcome to disagree
with me. But I think a lot of women and a lot
of mums are predominantly the diary keeper for
the family. Would you agree or disagree? Yeah,
we all have diaries. We have to have a shared
diary, otherwise it's chaos, isn't it? Yeah,
but in terms of what the kids are doing... It's
predominantly like most women are the ones that...
I think it depends on the family. In our scenario,
yes, it is, but it depends on the family. So,
and Proverbs 14 verse 1 says, the wise woman
builds her house, but the foolish one pulls it
down with her own hands. And I think sometimes
as moms we can be like... Well, they have to
do ballet and they have to do football and they
have to go and do their tuition and they have
to go swimming. And then before you know it,
the poor child hasn't got a minute to itself.
And, you know, that's not wise. It's like pulling
our own home down by our own hands. You know,
we need to step back and think, you know, what
does their week look like? Have they got time
to rest? I think all of these things are important
to children. To do something, to do some education,
some recreational activities, some play, seeing,
doing social activities, that's great. But ramming
their diary full, I mean kids having diaries,
that's one thing, but ramming their diary full
of activities is just maybe too much. Yeah. And
we have to be sensitive to that so that we can
have what we're talking about is rest. Yeah.
And, you know, time is a family where you can
rest together. You know, and yes, mum and dad
might fall asleep on the sofa when we're watching
a movie that we're not interested in, but it's
about being together and being close to each
other. And, you know, I love it when the kids
come and get in our bed on a Saturday morning
and they all snuggle down with us. You know,
it's just that time to be close and to be together
where we're not get your shoes on, brush your
teeth, get your hair, where's your bag? Where's
your shoes? Where's your coat? You know, it's
not any of that. It's just time for us to relax.
So my kind of like top tips for helping kids
rest. So, you know, these are just some ideas
but having a play day, you know, a day where
we just play with the toys in the house. Without
screens. Without screens. But this will mean
that your house is trashed. because if you do
it... If you set yourself up for that expectation,
then it's not a burden to you, is it? No, you've
just got to know that if you're having a play
day, all the toys are going to be out and it's
going to take everybody some time to tidy up
before bed. But, you know, I find that a real
challenge because I don't like things being a
mess. It annoys me, it winds me up. But, you
know, you've got to let it go because they need
time to play with their toys. You know, watch
your appointments in the week and your schedule,
you know. get yourself a month calendar and look
at the month as a whole. You go, wow, we're actually
overly busy. And yeah, we're going to have to
say no to something. And it's not going to be
comfortable. But we're the grownups. We're the
ones who make those decisions, who have the difficult
conversations. We say to your friend, I know
that we said we'd do a play date. We're maxed
out. We're so sorry. I've planned this badly.
Please forgive me. I need to move it. You know,
we need to be the grown -ups in it. You know,
create weekends with nothing booked in. That's
really hard. That's really hard. Because they're
the only days that they have available to do
all of those activities. But you know, I love
it. When I look at a weekend, I've got nothing
in the diary. I'm like, oh, this is amazing.
Apart from going to church on a Sunday morning,
obviously. Apart from going to church on a Sunday
morning. But you know, having time where it's
just, there's not a plan. You know, you just
take it easy. Let them have a slow morning. and
allow rest to be part of your language and for
it to be okay. You know, one of the things that
I didn't even know about myself, but I struggle
so much to relax. You know, I think we've been
doing some jigsaw puzzles, because that's what
you do, and quite enjoyed them. I never did them
as a kid, but you and I have been doing them
together. Oh my goodness, I have had to fight
so hard not to feel guilty about sitting doing
a jigsaw puzzle. Because in my head, I have this
narrative that goes, there's so many other things
you should be doing right now. Why are you just
sitting there and doing that? Don't you know
that there's a pile of washing to be done? And
one of the things that my family used to say
to me, if you sat down, we're a very busy house
when I grew up. But if you sat down and you were
just kind of reading a book or resting or something,
you know, people would say to you, you know,
who do you think you are, Dutch as a thick twist,
just sitting there doing nothing? You know, you'd
have that, oh gosh, I'm not allowed to sit down.
Oh gosh, I can't have a nap in the day. Like,
nap? What are you talking about, nap? That'd
be ridiculous. And that's... That's really sad
because what that does is that teaches that individual
you're not allowed to rest, you're not allowed
to sit down, you're not allowed to have social
time, you're not allowed to enjoy yourself and
you mustn't sleep. And nobody can live like that
and have life in abundance. We need to allow
not only us but our children to relax and to
rest. Can you give me some examples of how we
can rest? What things can we do? instead of this
busy life, can we, you said reading a book is
really good, maybe doing a jigsaw puzzle, doing
something quietly, sitting quietly. Could it
also be a time of reflection? Could it be time
of meditation perhaps? Could it be taking the
dog for a walk? Yeah, all of those things. Psalm
46 verse 10 says, be still and know that I am
God. And very often we are not still. And I believe
that it is a real strategy from the enemy to
keep us go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Well, I imagine
if you're so distracted with something, with
noise in your brain, then you don't hear from
God. Yes, that's a really good point. So part
of that resting time is actually could be intercession?
Prayer. Yeah. Chanting to God, yeah. And I think
one of the things that we have to be so careful
of is that we've got the telly playing all the
time, we've got the radio playing all the time,
we've got the music playing all the time. We're
not having moments of still, of choir. And I
think a lot of the time, when we've got something
inside us that isn't healed, when we've got a
part of us that is in pain, speaking of someone
who's walked through grief, You don't want quiet
because the quiet makes the inner turmoil louder.
But it's in those times of quiet and peace that
you look to Jesus to be your Sabbath rest, where
you look to him and you let him heal your heart.
And a lot of society doesn't want to live in
a place of peace because of the craziness that's
going on in their mind. You know, when they turn
down the music, they turn down the telly. They
can hear their own thoughts, and they're not
helpful, and they hurt, and they're painful.
But, you know, when we put our trust in God,
who bore our griefs, who healed our diseases,
who comforts those that mourn, healed the brokenhearted,
when we have that, it is that quiet place that
He comes, He speaks to us, and He heals us. And,
you know, children, in the light of raising a
family, you know, children don't really pay much
attention to things you say. they pay a lot of
attention to things you do. And if we want to
demonstrate a life of resting in God, we have
to demonstrate it, not just talk it. Wow, what
an incredible chat, in fact. And it's good, and
I'm pleased that it's ended on a really nice
note about resting in the Lord. So until we speak
again... Be kind to yourself. And each other.
You have been listening to the Follies End podcast.
If you'd like to know more information, get in
touch via folliesendtrust .co .uk. Thanks for
listening. See you next time.