Hello and welcome to A Pineapple Fulu Season
5, Bloodborne Edition. It will be episode 6.
Dominicus, or anyone else who wants to take a
turn, how about you summarise the last episode?
Day 97. Don't ask me why it's 97. So we come
upon a bunch of people and one dude with a big
gunny shit shit thing. Turns out Dominicus knows
him, my dummy daddy. He understands, but then
around them is a bunch of Yarnanites and they
were like totes the worst. so uh we had to whoop
their asses and after that like they decided
they liked my bat not that like i wanted something
different but they wanted my bat and they gave
me this fucking rock like it's just a legit rock
for my bat and i guess the dummy daddy and Lady
Gertrude like know the guy and like that's like
the totes the it of it At this point, Dominicus
walks up and grabs the notes from Brittany and
stuffs them back. It's not just like notes, it's
like doodles everywhere too and like arrows pointing
to like a doodle of the guy. Not like she's dumb,
but like it's like actually very intricate, like
looks like a girl that doodled in history class
in like high school. He very quickly puts them
back into his pocket and says, keep your mockery
for the faithless lamb. I'd love to think it's
got, like, Dominicus's name in it, like, hearts
and stuff. She signed Mrs. Brittany Dominicus.
Like, everything's written in blood, but when
it's Dominicus, it's, like, nice and ornate and
beautiful, but then everything's just, like,
hastily scribbled, like, horribly written in
blood. But Dominicus is, like, everywhere. Dominicus
looks at this and... A small smile starts to
crack in his face, but he puts that away. As
he closes it, he realizes on the cover it says
Dommy Daddy with a bunch of hearts all around.
Dommy Daddy Daddery. What does Dommy Daddy mean?
Are you my dad now? Are you her dad now? Yes,
he is. Of course it's yours. There is no sense
to be found in the words of madness. Okay. Come
now, child. Let us continue. She'll scramble
to keep up with you running the walk. Her legs
are too short. She's just climbing up my back,
back onto my shoulders. One day he will be mine.
So do I have a... Good to have Brittany and Gertrude
taking their places on top of me as well. I'm
going to say you can't carry three people, but...
I'll sacrifice my spot. I'll sacrifice my spot.
I can walk. Gertrude, would you like helped up?
I will help you. I'll put my hands up to hoist
you up if you need to. Well, thank you, dear.
I will hoist myself up. On to my shoulders again.
My old bones, I can't walk like I used to. If
you're quite done making fools of yourselves,
we're on a bit of a time here. And Joe will nod
back to the quickly splintering door. He's just
jealous. You got any health stuff? I'm a little
bit beat up over here. Give me a minute. We have...
We think there's people on that street. And he
points back to the one that Macy came from. And
then he'll point to the right -hand side this
way. And that one. There's nothing foolish about
helping the helpless. Yeah, well, we haven't
got much time for that. There's people on those
streets we think we can take one if you take
the other. Meet back here. Hope that thing hasn't
given yet. Get them to the bridge. If there are
still souls to be saved, I recommend that we
volunteer. Or we can hustle our asses to the
bridge now. I think we should save these peasants
and get it done with. It's the honourable thing
to do. Right. Sounds like a good idea, but about
that human? Fine, fine, fine. He'll nod over
to Darcy, who is this one. The other white -robed
church hunter. He's still got blood. No? Fuck.
And, um... He'll go over to the nun with a short
dagger, grab an empty bottle from Darcy and fill
it with the nun's blood, while she continues
to solicitously mumble, before walking over to
give it to you, Hank. There. One vial's all we
can do for now. Alright. Remind me, what was
that again? Uh, was it 2d10? Yeah, I think so.
8. No, 1d10, actually. Whoops. 1d10 for a blood
vial. 3. Better than your first one would have
been. So you get 3 HP back from that. You did
find, I think, Dominic has found blood vials
as well. If you would, Dommy Daddy, would I have
some of that? Because I am going to fucking keel
over here. Um, I can give you, I'll give you
two. I've got two on me, so I'll give you two.
Um, are you Dommy Daddy? I don't fucking think
so. Oh, fuck you then. If you're starting to
think that you are, then get the fuck away from
me. I saved your fucking life, and this is how
you... Yeah, and you're ugly as... Then fucking
get away from me. Dominicus didn't have a chance
to respond there, but you saw a quick flash of
pure rage across his face as Vance answered to
Domi Daddy. Oh no! It's happening. He's accepting
it. Amazing. He doesn't even say anything. He
just holds out a blood vial to Brittany. Oh,
thank you. And passes it to her. Dominicus, sir?
She called you daddy, and the church guy with
the big gun called Gertrude her granny. Is Gertrude
your mommy? It's a ceremonial title, much like
he would address a priest as father. Sure it
is, then I'll wink at him. Okay, father. No,
you said 1D10, you said? Yeah, 1D10. Oh, nice.
I've not officially earned the title, but it
seems like the lamb is referring to me as that
in more of a colloquial way. Yeah, definitely.
I don't know what colloquial means, but okay.
Right. She seemed a lot more intelligent the
first time we met this girl, didn't she? She
was a very well -spoken survivor the first time
we met her. Now she's all, what's going on? She
doesn't have to worry about this anymore. She
has an adult finally. Anyway, there are still
two streets unsearched. She's reached the point
of PTSD of just being borderline insane. Like
she's lost all concept of humanity. Right, so
you guys are on a time where you guys said you
were going to go to the... go help some of the
survivors, yep? You go in back to the street
you came from to see if there's anyone around
near Macy's house, or are you going to the other
one? Right, just so that I've got the lay of
the land here, right. We finished the fountain,
there's nothing there. The armoury that you were
talking about, that's not down one of these two
streets, is it? Right, so there's four streets
that lead off from the main plaza you're in.
The one you came from, where Macy's house was,
was south. And that still needs search for survivors.
Yeah, there might still be people there. That's
the one that Jorah wants either us to go to or
us to do the other one. Up to the north there
is a large iron gate with a big metal bar that
is creaking and cracking and slowly breaking
as something big hammers on it from the other
side. That is where the powder keg workshop is.
The one Jura has the key to. The one he's promised
Hank the key to. Are you giving me the fucking
key to that knowing full well it's infested?
Oh yeah. Jura don't give a fuck about you. You
can sort that out now. That's your problem. You're
hunters. You say you are. You can handle it.
To the left is your route to the bridge. So to
the west. And to the east or to the right that
is the second street that there might be some
hours on. It doesn't make sense for us to backtrack.
I think that we should leave Jorah to search
there. They'll have an easier time of it, given
that we've already killed some beasts down there.
I think that we should check the other street.
Alright. Sounds good. We'll take the survivors
down the cleared street for now. The further
we get away from that fucking gate, the better.
And they will head off with the two survivors
they've brought down that way. All the best to
you guys. Good to see you, Jorah. I'll see you
at Bingo next week. So when we both live, I'll
be happy to take your money again. Trinkets,
rather. The street may be salvation. One street
may be graved. Let's find out which one ours
will be. Oh, by the way, are you taking the girl
with you? She comes with us. Were we giving it
any other options for where the girl goes? Just
with them. Since they're taking the other two
civilians. I feel safer with the girl staying
with us. Alright. So the... Well, I guess the
seven of you will head off down the eastern street,
the one you haven't been to yet, into the winding
holes and roads of Yharnam. And you will come
across a bit more of a richer street. The street
Macy was from, it was like shacks, crumbling
buildings, built mostly out of wood and odd bits
of scrapped stone and steel. Here, the houses
are towering, two, three storeys tall, some taller
yet, all with grand entryways, which currently
seem barred, although you do see light coming
from one of them. Here, there are small gardens
bursting with flowers, though they seem like
they haven't been maintained in a bit, and...
The alleyways are wider. Knock, knock, housekeeper.
Alright, well, let's... Can we... Is there a
way that we can just see, like, from where we
are, is there a way that we'd prioritise these
buildings? So are we just going to go in one
by one, check all the buildings, or... That's
probably the right way, I think. What do you
think? There are some buildings which you'd have
to break in through the window, like this one
over here. You're in a kind of L -shaped alleyway.
There are some of doorways, such as the one directly
to your left and the one directly ahead of you.
Right, so there are some that are obviously barricaded.
Yep, and both doorways are barricaded, but you
actually have doors that you can enter in through
if you show them being part enough. This one
here has light coming from it, though currently
there is no sound. Hmm. I think the one with
light is most prospect. Or it means something
got in and killed everyone inside before they
could turn the lights off. Ah. We might be able
to find ourselves some nice bridge to follow.
Finally, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be
over. Yeah, all the others have been fine so
far. A worthy adversary. Light means breath,
or bait. Should we send in Hank and Vince again?
Oh, I ain't doing that again. Scholar, with me,
knock softly. So, hang on, before we do anything,
can I look around the alleyway and do a perception
check first? Maybe we get something like an idea
of the best entrance to get into. You just sent
us towards the one with the light. Now you want
to do a perception check? Yeah, I've got a 10
on perception. A 9 actually. But, yeah, I want
to know if there's an optimal, like, the best
route in. Because, yeah, we said about the light,
but this is almost like an information check.
Sure thing. So, information check. You roll pretty
damn high, too. So, you will note that the plants,
the ferns that kind of cover these areas here,
they hide gaps. almost underneath everything.
There's almost been collapses into basements.
There's paths that people could get through that
shouldn't really be open beneath the buildings.
You will also note there's lumps that look suspiciously
humanoid in shape. About here, and here, and
here. Where you also see another glint of light
coming from. But they're lying still for the
moment. And there's a putrid smell in the air.
Something fetid and musty and disgusting. Okay.
That flies in my fucking head. As much as we
may, I am very ill. Okay, I'm going to turn to
everyone and say, hey, I think there's an ambush
ahead. We should be careful. I can smell a putrid
body in the mist. Well, how about you go first?
Yeah, he discovers the lay of the land vans.
I'm pretty sure Hank has fucking molotovs if
you want to clear the area. Yeah, Hank, can I
borrow one of your molotovs? Would you like me
to clear the area? Well, then I'll bet you can't
hit that barrel down there with your molotov.
And he points to the second figure. Why would
I want to waste? We are here looking for survivors.
Let's at least confirm our targets before we
set them alight. Yeah, let's not set the entire
alleyway ablaze before we even start looking.
My thoughts exactly. Okay. Go ahead then. Let's
check this first building. Let's take it building
by building, section by section and deal with
whatever's inside. Can we go with the first plan
and just walk towards the one with the light
on? Okay, let me know what you guys are doing.
I've got Brickmanicus. Hank, knock the door.
On this hallway? Or on the light one? The one
until you're on. Stack up on the doorway, bricks
and clear. I've asked Hank to knock it, but he
doesn't seem to be replying. Hank? Oh, well,
I mean... There was a whole argument about setting
things on fire and whatnot. Why am I the one
knocking on it? We had that conversation, yes.
We're now having another conversation about you
knocking the door. Well, why don't we get...
For fuck's sake, I'll go and knock on the fucking
door. I'm carrying people here. Can somebody
please fucking knock the door? Gertrude has knocked
the door. Are you going to call out or anything?
Hello? Hello, anybody there? No, no, no solicitors.
No guests, no welcome, and no shelter can be
found for you here. We can't bear the word of
Christ. That might have sounded like a joke,
but he is telling the truth. We're here on behalf
of the church. You're church hunters. You don't
sound it. I am. We were looking for survivors.
There's a plan to get everybody out across the
bridge. Oh, finally, a personal escort. Good.
I can't believe anyone thought he'd make us get
away there ourselves. It's hell out there. It
is safe now, yes? As far as we can tell, down
to the fountain district, it is clear. I would
recommend staying with us as we clear the rest
of the houses in this. Here, Eastern Street.
Very well, then. You can assure me of my safety.
I assume I'll be able to send someone along for
my belongings later? Sure thing. I assume the
same thing. Just quickly, on a different note,
what kind of belongings do you have? The regular
kind. There's a couple of outfits. I won't need
my silverware or anything. I'm not going to take
the whole house. A few minutes, please. I have
a question. Is there anyone else inside that
house? Any faithless or any half -mutated beings?
Of course not. I wouldn't let that filth near
me. I know anyone tried to test or stay and they
mutated and shoved them right out the door. I
believe this woman. This is in fact a young man.
Alright, I believe this. Very effeminate, very
pretty young man, I believe him. And I am certain
that he is safe where he is, so I will tell him,
you stay put on the other side of that door just
now while we check the rest of the houses on
this street, and we will let you know when we
are sure it is safe. Yep, so you saw briefly
poking his head out of the gap in the door, they
need to talk to Gertrude. is a silver -haired
young man with deep shadows under his eyes. He
looks fairly sleepless, but is indeed very effeminate
and pretty. He's dressed in fine burgundy robes
with, like, a gold coif around his shoulders,
a gold shawl. And, um, yeah. A handsome young
man. I would certainly be back for you. The others
should have been far longer. They're probably
dead by now. Sorry, that's Jerry's voice. Oh,
you're back. I thought you went the other way.
They're probably dead by now. There's three or
four of them. They might have taken shelter in
one of the lesser dwellings. Might as well look
for them. Suppose it is your job. Alright, lesser
dwellings it is then. Have you seen any ne 'er
-do -wells around here recently? Do you know
of any commotion that's happened in any of the
other residents? I can't say that I have. Things
have been quiet from... Some screaming a week
ago now, but nothing from the house down the
way. Well, then I'm sure everything's fine. What
could possibly go wrong? Yes, this young dandy
seems like a fine, upstanding, church -going
resident. We will leave him in peace and the
safety of his house while we check the rest.
Yep. Does anyone else agree that we should set
fire to his house when we get him out of here
because he's an asshole? I 110 % agree with Hank.
Thank you. I can hear you now. You're too far
away from me. He's right fucking there. Unless
you want to get sued into the dirt you crawled
out of, you will do no such thing. Yeah, because
Brittany was way far away, so she was shouting
it. I agree with Hank! Let's set fire to his
place. Oh my god. Well, I guess we shut the door
and there were no survivors. Seems I'd almost
be better off with the little likes of you folks
in. We knew the church was going downhill. Ah,
Remo. You are quite right. The church is going
downhill, but at this moment, it is the only
chance of survival for this particular town.
Alright, he'll slam the door back on you guys,
but you can see him peeking through a window.
And she's, like, peeking right back at it. So,
like, when he peeks through the window, her eye
is, like, right on the other side of the glass.
Like... Whatcha lookin' at? Anything interesting
out here? Uh, is it a dead end? Okay, so this
area does just lead to some boarded -up windows.
You could attempt smashing through them if you
really felt like it. It does lead into a different
house than this one. Uh, it seems to lead into,
like, a hole. Hey, Brittany, you got that new
stone fist thing. Why don't you punch through
the window? Or how about I tell them about the
basements that I found when I was investigating.
Where did you find basements? Your mom. When
I did the investigation. You did see there was
little crumbling holes underneath, like the lid
underneath houses. It'd be a tight fit, but you
can move it under there. How about we just go
in the house the regular way? Just a thought.
These houses do have doors. Yep, there's three
houses. One, two, and three. Okay, well, we've
checked house three, which is the light on house,
which has the dandy twink. So why don't we go...
Why don't we check the house at the end of the
street, at the dead end of the street? First,
and then work our way back. I'm sorry, Cap, but
Dandy Twink is a Draugr to return, so we probably
need... That seemed quite complimentary to me,
but... So dandy. He is very dandy. And yet also
a twink. Okay, yeah, I suppose we should check
this one out first then. Let's go. Can we see
through any... windows or anything, or you say
they're all boarded up? So, they are all boarded
up, and what's more, the boards have a fair amount
of dust on them. Yeah, so I'm just going to rattle
on the door. Knock, knock, knock. Can you move
your token to where you're going, Cap? Oh yeah,
hi, sorry. Just so I can tell. I'm still on the...
Is that the door there? There's a door here,
and a door here. And these jackasses are trying
to break in through this window to a third house.
Right, so those jackasses are trying to break
in through the window to the third house. Can
I go to the door of the third house? There's
no door available. There is no door. Okay, well
that makes sense. It now makes sense why they're...
I'm not an idiot, Cap. So I'm just going to walk
in, walk right in between the two of them and
smack it with my hammer. Sure. The boards will
give way. and release a foul stench into the
air as the windows break and all the fetid filth
that had been lying in this home is released
out into the street. The glass makes a loud shattering
noise. They have just boarded up over glass,
effectively. Which is certainly a choice. And
you will see something crawl out. A ginormous
rat. Yep, a big... A couple of big rats, actually.
With crusted over green oozing eyes and hairless
faces with pustules bursting over their ears,
their mouths, the side of their face, their neck.
We'll come squeaking out of this emptied old
house. Oh, we've walked into a bloody Comic -Con.
We made that joke already? I saw this in a porn
once. I think it was Hentai. I think your Molotovs
would be excellent here. Molotov cocktail, right
now. Yep, okay. No, no, no. Absolutely not. Too
late. He's said it, so he's doing it. Stand back,
priesty boy. Remind me, damage -wise? I think
it was like 5d10. 5d10. That's fire damage, too.
You guys are kind of standing right up on this
bitch, though. Yeah, but I'm throwing it in the
building. Oh, fair enough. So hit me with 5d10,
you bitch. 23. Nice. So Domenica's quite calmly
says, ah, some rodents. Looks like we need to
do some extermination. He turns around to see
Hank lighting a molotov and goes, no, no, not
that kind of a... Stop! Plug them all with that
camphor, oh god dang it. So, what kind of damage
do I take here? You shouldn't take any wigs.
Yeah, he's swinging it into the building. Hit
me a skill roll, Matt. Just to see if you manage
to get it through a fucking window effectively.
Bounce off the frame and come back at us. Skill
is seven perceptions plus one, so ten plus one,
seven. Not bad, I'll say you can get it. There
we go, there's the rats. Look at that there,
hole in one. Right, rats. And that will do pretty
decent damage to each of them. Nice, and they're
now on fire. Now I'm going to need you guys to
roll initiative. I'll let you get the fire off,
but the building is also now on fire. That's
the thing. Maybe we should not want Twinkerbell.
Nice. That's an 11. Sorry, what did you want
me to roll there? Initiative, so just perception.
Okay, that's a 6 for me. So perceptive when you're
right next to it. There is indeed a warmth coming
from here. What's this flyer coming from? Something's
ablaze. Just going to add everyone's turns. Yep.
What's really handy, Jay, if you use that sort
button at the top there, it automatically sorts
everything. Right, and if everyone can read out
what they got. Unless some of you guys have one
of ours that I don't see. It was sex for me.
Five. Three. Six. Five. Cool. Five. Yep. What's
Brittany got? Okay. A6. Six. Your dog will be
on the same as you. And now roll three. D10 to
try and figure out what the rats are on. Hank?
Aim your mines, not your arm. Save your flame
for ones that think. I think I'll throw another
one in the ring. Would you charm yourself? So
they can think, holy fuck, I'm on fire! Exactly.
Yeah. Go use those fear tactics. First up is
Gertrude. Okay, I'm going to shuffle on over.
Filthy vermin. Who do you think you are? Look
at that. Slam down with the handbag. Try and
crush its face in. There we go. 12d8. That's
67 damage. Unfortunately, it's going to dodge
and leap nimbly out of the way. Bastard. You
get back here, you little shit. And it is now...
Which one is this? This is this one's turn. Okay.
Lured in by perhaps the smell of the Werther's
Originals you have on you. they're mine you can't
have them circle over to Gertrude fight you to
death this rat is going to attempt to bite you
it's large sharpened incisors it's going to be
I'll have to do this in twos you want ten to
ten nope this is eighty six so that would be
31 damage, unless you can manage to get yourself
back out. You haven't quite boxed yourselves
in. Yes, I would like to jump out of the way
of that. Sure thing. For that I'm probably going
to need you to run just to get out of distance.
Which would be 20 stamina. Sure. And up next
is Macy. Who is going to... Well, she hasn't
got any bullets in her gun, actually. She can't
attack anything. She's... All the bullets that
were found in that last session as well and nobody
gave one to Maisie. Come on, guys. Now I'm not
shot with it, but someone could have. And she's
going to scramble backwards and away from the
fight. Yes, I help her off of my shoulder and
I push her away from the fire. Like, stand back,
flames! Up next is Brittany, who's pretty far
back from us. Absolutely. So Brittany is going
to like run in and like leapfrog over Hank. And
to get in between Hank and the rat and then smash
it with the bat. Okay, uh, which rat, which,
uh, wait, actually you don't have the bat anymore.
Oh, you're right, the fist, the fist. Yeah, I
slam my rock. as i leapfrog give him a good fisting
beer yeah give it a good i'm damn straight damn
straight rock straight into the rat all right
nice hit me with that damage and uh this right
yeah yes that one right yeah that is 48 damage
he's already dodged so we can't take any more
of that and that is dang so that is a stun So
you slam a big old chunk of rock into the side
of this rat's head. It knocks out a few of its
teeth and it goes sprawling, twitching onto its
side. Brittany, show them the fist of a martyr.
Yes, daddy, yes! Right, up next it is going to
be Dummy Daddy himself. Dominicus is fine, thank
you. Dominicus aids the young lamb wielding the
fist of a martyr by slamming his own religious
icon into the face of another rat. So this one
that's right in front of him here. Yep. Between
him and the flames. And I think that one's the
one that dodged already, hopefully. Nope, that
was the one... That's this one. Well, shit. Looks
like I'm going to try and hit it anyway for 63.
And it is going to scramble... Who'd have guessed?
Who'd have guessed? Yeah, who'd have guessed
the big ol' chunk of damage it's going to get?
If it dodges, does it at least take burn damage?
It will on its turn. Which the other one already
should have. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Fabulous. Okay, so at least I do something to
it. I drive it back into the flames by waving
my cross at it. Yeah, it doesn't put itself out
because it's going to be scrambling away. Up
next after that is Cartman. That's Vince. Yeah.
So Vince is kind of sort of hanging back in all
this. He's watched as they've all left the Model
12 quite clumsy -like and they've set up building
-alike and all these rats appeared. I mean, it's
a lot of fuss, isn't it? So, um... How undignified.
God, what's all the fuss about? I knew you were
all vandals. Yeah, I'll try and blow his head
off. I've got... Yeah, I've got a gun. I've got
four bullets. You've got the one of us, yeah?
No. I've got the one -shot missile. He's got
a Glock. 13! I could have got a push. I think
we're 40 at that. Yeah, so you managed to...
Oh, plus your... Oh, plus 3 for skill. No, it's
blood tinge for guns, isn't it? Yeah. Just for
you it's plus... Plus 5. Plus 5, shit, okay.
18. Nice. And that is for this right here? Yeah,
that one there. The one where I jumped over Hank.
Because that's kind of in my line of sight, I
can do a safe shot on him. The other guy, I could
hit someone. Okay, so this guy then. No, the
one that jumped over Hank, or around Hank. Okay,
you mean Dominicus. Right, that's what's going
on here. Yeah, I know, I figured out what I did
then. 18 damage. Okay, nice, that's fine. I just
needed to know which one. Yes, I know. And your
dog. Your little dog, too. He's going to run
in afterwards and take a bite out of this rat.
Nice. Roll me the damage on that. 22. Damn! Good
dog. The dog did better than the gun. What a
good boy. What a good little guy. Maybe he's
the terrier mix. He's bred for this. Up next
is the other rat. Raticus rat. And it is going
to take that fire damage. And it is also going
to attempt to bite Brittany. Eww, gruff. Keep
your fucking face away from me. I know, how nasty.
Right, it was 86, that's what it was. That will
be 17 damage? No, 27 damage. Minus DR. You gonna
take the hit? Uh, no, I think. I think I'm going
to dodge. Yep, I think I'm going to dodge. How
much would that be? I'll just make it ten. She
can roll away from this one pretty easy. Okay,
alright. Yep, I'm going to dodge roll out of
the way. And then it's Hank. I'm going to get
me my stick and I'm going to stab that motherfucker
so hard he ain't going to walk away. Go ahead
and do what I say. Yep, you managed to finally,
I think, kill this thing. Yay! Nice. One dead
stinking rat corpse. I won't delete it yet, so
I'll forget it was there. I'm enjoying this.
As a pest controller by trade, I'm enjoying this.
If you double click the token and hit the gear
or the little circle, it should come up with
a bunch of little symbols. Yeah, it's easier
just to draw an Axe on them though. Next is Granny
Gertrude. Remember you've killed that because
I'll need to give you EXP at the end. Granny
Gert. Okay, I'm going to smash the life out of
this little thing. Bring the handbag down again.
Hopefully he doesn't dodge out of the way because
he looks pretty cornered. Yeah, he can't really
move anywhere. Yeah, he dodged my attack. That's
42 damage. The rat will wheel round as you smack
it, turn to face you, catch the scent of Wither's
Originals and Strawberry Delights again. And
it's going to attempt one last time to take a
chunk out of you. And you moved, so you can't
dodge this. Oh no, so you've run again, so you
can. You can. That would be 27 damage. Yeah,
I'm going to dodge. Nimbly roll out the wafer.
someone so elderly, like Yoda. Flipping around
and some mental cartwheel out of the way. Yep,
that is then Macy's turn. And she's just going
to back off even more. Getting as far away as
she can. And Brittany, you're up. I'm going to
hit the following rat. I'm going to literally
jump off of Dummy Daddy's shoulders here. I know
I wasn't really on his shoulders. I'm going to
jump onto his shoulders and then pull bolts off
of it and spin. Do my famous spin attack at this
point. And slam down on the rat. Alright, hit
me with that damage. Incredibly athletic, this
girl. 48 damage. Yep. So you're going to swing
around with that big old chunk of Gretia's fist
and smash it right into the swollen, oozing eyeball
of this rat. Going right through its skull into
its brain and ending its pitiful, miserable rat
life. Nice. Yes. Not going to its rat children
or its rat wife today. Yes. Good. Excellent.
Do it. Yes. Be of power for Darkseid. This is
what I do on a daily basis, by the way, if anyone's
wondering. Well -struck laugh. Crash ass smiles
tonight. Nice. 60 blood echoes to whoever killed
a rat. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. 460. And you
can search their shit. Well, you can search what...
Hang on. Check your wins and douse those flames.
Yeah, you could have searched the building, but
unfortunately it is rapidly... being consumed
by the inferno you've started, which is starting
to spread to the other two buildings as well.
I'm sure that's fine. Well then, so I think I
should give the door another knock, and maybe
I can convince this fellow noble of mine to abandon
his home. So, um, can I do that? Sure, yep. Yeah,
rather you than me. So you've dealt with whatever
was out there? I heard squealing. Yes, but there's
been a terrible accident. The rats kind of knocked
over one of those lamps and they set the building
on fire. We must evacuate. You burnt down my
fucking house? No. Are you going to? We did not
burn down your house. It was the rats. It was
the helper. He did. Cursed. I knew there was
a reason they shut down the powder keg workshop,
but fuck. I suggest you get your belongings and
leave at once. Yeah, you'll see him grab two
big suitcases, look between them, look between
a rapier that's on the wall and just awkwardly
shove it under his arm as he comes scuttling
out of the house. He's not trusted to do anything.
For safety. Come on now, quickly, quickly. He'll
happily follow you guys. Are you just booking
it down the alleyway now? Yeah, one more house.
Yeah, there is one more house, but there's a
fire spreading. Says we need to check this house
quickly. Right. There are windows you can try
and look for if you want. You knock, there's
no response. Oh no, I knock with my foot. There's
no response from inside the building. I knock
with the hammer. Is that going to burst the door
down or are we actually knocking? No, no, we're
bursting the door down. There is no answer, we're
going to burst the door down. Cool. You look
inside and see as several heads shoot up. It
appears that your noble companion of the moment
was correct when he kicked out those who he thought
showed signs of beasthood. They did seek shelter
in the lesser dwellings around here, including
this house, which is now pretty damn full of
quite a lot of the No, sorry, wrong house, wrong
address, sorry! They all start to slowly shamble
to their feet stiffly for some time. I shouldn't
do a card here. I think this is a runtime. Could
we actually just quickly barricade it again?
You can shut the door back but they're going
to get through it eventually if you don't book
it. Can I throw a Molotov and then shut the door?
You absolutely can! The house is on fire. Oh,
yes. I was going to say that the house is going
to be on fire anyway, so we could just shut it
and leave. 5 to 10, yes. Yep, 5 to 10. You forget,
if Matt doesn't kill them himself, he doesn't
get XP from it. 35. He's just seen fucking dollar
signs. Yeah, yeah, that's money. Open the door,
we're going in. 35, right in the middle. Yeah,
that's not going to kill any of them, but we'll
see. shut the door yep shut the door okay time
to go I just think the rest of you are running
back out towards the fountain plaza now because
I started eventually die so they can put themselves
out they're not that stupid buildings on fire
keep trying to get that money buildings on fire
roll me a one two three okay Roll me a d100.
26. Okay. Now roll me a d4. You get two of them.
You get two of them, which would be 100 blood
echoes. The rest manage to scuttle out through
various window cracks and basement entryways.
Take your filthy blood money and get the fuck
out of here. All of the days work. Yep. You get
back to the floating plaza then, if you are all
booking it out of there. I'll need to bring Rich
Boy Nick Moneybags with you. Jay, just remember
how many times Matt wouldn't let you do anything
as Calaris. Just saying. Oh, there are consequences
to his actions, don't worry about it. Forgive
his old gods for leaving them to the flame, but
the flame is cleaner than mercy. It is indeed.
Let's drag your ass a bit over there. There we
go. You hide yourself back in the Fountain Plaza.
It seems like you guys have actually made pretty
good fucking time. The other, uh, the church
hunters aren't here yet. They are still probably,
well, ignore them. I can see them down the bottom.
There isn't any people to save when you've burned
all the citizens that need to be saved. Yeah,
I mean, if you burn them to death, it's fine,
right? Ain't gotta search houses if you burn
them to the ground. It's just more efficient.
Yeah. As you step back into the empty abandoned
plaza with the empty dried up fountain you see
the doors creak again and again further breaking
with every blow. There is no sign of the church
hunters just yet. What there is a sign of is
something you hadn't noticed before. There is
a glowing spark, almost, at the very top and
centre of the fountain. White, and if you listen
closely above the banging of that grand door,
you hear a faint chiming, almost like a distant
bell. I do believe it's tea time. Any time. Do
I know what this is? Is it a religious thing?
No. No, it just seems fucking weird. Just an
odd glowing spark chiming softly. A gate above
you about to break and no sign of the backup
you guys are supposed to have. I'm sure that's
nothing to worry about. Yeah, sure. It's certainly
absolutely fine. Let's get the fuck out of here.
The bridge is this way. What are you guys going
to do? Well, I mean... That glowing spark at
the fountain, I think I could do with investigating
that a little bit. Sure, are you going to walk
off and poke it? Maybe. That old... That gate
appears to... You know what, yeah, forget the
gate just now. Let's focus on the spark. I do.
I want to go up and poke the spark. Okay, cool.
The rest of you watch as your cleric, have you
still got her on your back? Yeah. No, she's with
the dandy. Yeah, you're unburdened for the moment
by your usual monkeys and hangers -on. You walk
up the grand steps to the ornate fountain. You
climb into the cup at the top of it and you reach
out. The rest of you see a bright light flash
and then Dominicus straight up disappears. Where
there was once a formidable intimidating cleric,
there is now absolutely nothing at all. Oh, teleported.
Oh my god, he's dead. He's been vaporised at
an atomic level. Now what are we going to do?
The chime rings a little louder. Hit me a perception
check. Not Dominicus, everyone else. One. Ten.
Where's Dominicus? Where's he gone? He didn't
say anything. Yeah. Where is he? Where's he gone?
So, Vince, you will notice that your dog is sniffing
around the place, around the steps of the fountain.
It doesn't seem to have a clue where Dominicus
is. It's not paying any particular attention
to the light either. Hank, you will note that
while you and the rest of your more martially
capable gang immediately locked onto the light,
saw it, and paid attention to it. Macy and the
Dandy, whose name you have not asked or do you
know yet, haven't seemed to register it at all.
They haven't looked to it, they haven't been
interested in it. They are looking around now
because Dominicus is gone, but they're not even
looking particularly at the fountain. Who are
you, rich twinkie boy? I have a name. You see
this lad over here? I don't care. There's no
light here except for the lamps. Come here. Come
here, Twinkie boy. Respond to that name, usually.
What is it? You still came over, though. Fuck
you. Go poke the top of that there fountain.
I'm not going to just climb into that fountain
and poke it. Is this what you do in your spare
time? You want to live? Is that a threat? Poke
the fountain, boy. He'll look between your fucking
bloodstains, your smoked hands, the stick -smelled
gunpowder when he knows his house was just set
on fire. And he'll climb his ass up. He'll fully
wave his hands around the fountain, almost mockingly
spreading his arms out. He does accidentally
almost brush into the light. Nothing happens
to him. And he doesn't seem to notice it's there
at all. Wow, don't go sit back down over there.
Least of my time. We should be going for the
bridge. Well done, Twinkie boy. Anyone else see
that there light? Could be something spectacular.
It sucked our friend right into it. I don't mean
like Gertrude sucked a man in, but I mean like...
Oh, that's a shame. I was hoping to do that to
him, but no, it's fine. I guess he's gone. As
you hand Hank on the edge of the fountain, you
will hear the bell chime louder and louder. And
louder. You feel almost drawn to it. Like mob
deflated. Yep. It is slowly, slowly pulling you
in. Just a little step after an intentional step.
Oh, fuck it. Geronimo! You will see Hank disappear
in a flash of white light. I told him never to
go to the light. My god. The instant Hank disappears,
the chime gets louder and louder still. It's
now echoing through all your heads, piercing
and screaming. All right. Well, Vince is going
to go towards the fountain because at this point,
I should have seen at least Hank go into the
fountain and might not come back. So it's something
to investigate. I'm fucking dying as we speak.
Bye! Just like that, Vince goes into the fountain,
disappears, and Snufflepuff does not come to.
Snufflepuff starts whining and crying and pawing
at the ground, looking for its lost master. And
Brittany looks to Dominicus and be like, hey,
it's your chance. It's your chance to kill the
fucking dog while he's gone. He's gone. Dominicus
was the first to go. Yeah. Everyone in the fountain
is gone. It's just you and Gertrude. Yeah. Girl
power. Yeah. Bells chiming louder and louder
and louder. All those guys were pretty fucking
bitchy. You shouldn't, like, use this opportunity
to, like, be our own story. And from here on
out, everyone's just gone. It's just me and Gertrude
for the rest of the campaign. You certainly can
choose to not touch the fountain if you want.
All I know is there's a big fucking thing trying
to get through that gate, and everyone else has
disappeared. Some of our heaviest hitters, bar
yourself, have disappeared into this light on
the fountain. If something comes through that
gate, it's only us to take it down, and I more
than recommend that we probably bloody could,
but it might be best to see where they've gone.
If you say so, Gertrude. Yes, let's go together.
Are you coming, girl? Yep, let's go. Come on,
Macy. Let's go together. Let's go where? I don't
see... I don't know where they've gone. They've
just disappeared. Let's go, Macy. We can just
go together. Let's go and find them. Macy will
reluctantly climb into the fountain with you.
You both touch the light, you both disappear,
and the last thing you see is Macy reaching out
blindly towards you. As everything in the world
turns white, and foggy, and misty, and you are
gone from the Arnhem. And as for what happens,
y 'all can find out next time on A Pint of Cthulhu
Season 5. You can find us on Blue Sky Instagram
and Twitter at apintofcthulhu. we also have a
brand new exclusive to patreon season running
of the painted wastelands ran by matt if you
liked what you heard today leave a comment and
uh yeah bye