Hello. Oh, hey. Welcome. Welcome back to the
show. It's 3039 with your favorite hosts. I'm
Clarissa. And I'm Courtney. And we're a couple
sick sad millennials who decided to commiserate
on the internet with all of you. Yeah. We just
wanted to spend time together and we're just
yapping. Yapping. Yapping, having fun, playing
games, having real talks. Hell yeah. Just living
the dream. That is quite a millennial thing to
say. That's just who I am as a person. I know
it is. What can I say? That's why I love you.
Welcome back to the show. This week we are...
It's the whole season. Let me... All season long.
Let me backtrack it. With three hour long blocks.
Lucy on Sunday. Andy Griffith Monday. Gilligan
on Tuesday. This is my fault. Hillbilly Wednesday.
This is my fault. Brady Bunch on Thursday. And
Party Crush Fridays. It's my fault for trying
to speak. Block block. Block party summer. Nick
at night. Are you done? I'm done. Okay. I was
going to say, this season is the season of favorite
things. Don't let my current tone fool you. One
of our favorite, well, two of our favorite things.
We love food. Uh -huh. Especially some apps.
Duh. Bread. Bread. I love bread. I do, too. Me
and Oprah, for that, are like this. Oprah! And
we love brackets. So, we haven't done a bracket
yet this season, which is crazy. Yep, but it's
March Madness. Well... Oh, it's not March anymore?
It hasn't been for a while. Well, it's not March
Madness anymore, but it was. Just not anymore.
We don't give a fuck about time or space or continuums.
Or the time -space continuums. Yeah, that bitch,
who even is she? We don't know her. She had some
of the season, not season of the witch, but season
of our favorite things. Okay. We're doing an
appetizer and bread bracket. I'm sorry it took
us this long to tell you that. We are a fucking
wreck. We are going to figure out what's our
favorite appy. Don't ever. Don't ever say that
again. Appetizers or apps. Anything else. I don't
care if you call it like apple bottom jeans.
Fuck. This is going to be a horrific episode.
Go ahead, Courtney. Sorry. So I have it broken
down. One side, we're going to figure out our
favorite app. And then the other side, we're
going to figure out our favorite bread. Like
the free bread they give you at the beginning?
Like the free bread they give you at the beginning.
Yeah. Some of them I have specific, some of them
I have vague because like there's multiple restaurants
that serve like the same thing. Okay. But then
there are some restaurants that have specific
things. Got it. So I had the, both of them. Yeah.
So then once we figure out the best of the best
on both, head to head. So what's better, the
free bread or the appetizer? Yes. Is it worth
the money to pay for an appetizer specifically
or do you just go eat the bread and leave? We're
going to find out today. but first back in time
all right way back to the 80s again yep why don't
you tell us why cory because you you really thought
this went through i thought i thought a lot of
things through this time which is wild so 1988
Yeah. The reason why I picked 1988 was because
that's when Fazoli's opened. I love Fazoli's.
And we know I love a Fazoli's. And you know what?
Fazoli's bread, the sticks, breadsticks. So good.
So much better than Olive Garden. Yes. So Fazoli's
bread. Come on. They're going to be a contender.
They better be. Well, I have it as garlic breadsticks
because Olive Garden also exists. Yeah. But let's
be honest. We'll expand. We'll expand. I'm going
to say Fazoli's and that's going to win. Hell
yeah. Um, anyways. You don't even have to listen
to the rest of the episode. Yeah, you know what?
Fazoli's Bride 6 wins. Fuck everything else.
Turn it off. Um, anyways. 1988. I wrote a bunch
of stuff down. Sick. Read it. I read it. Okay,
so. I read it! I read it! I love this. George
H. W. Bush, elected president. Yep. The Supreme
Court ruled that trash placed at the curbside
is not, no longer protected under the Fourth
Amendment. Um, like your privacy or something?
Oh, so they can look through it. They can look
through it if it's out on the curb. Okay. New
York City Rockefeller Center became a national
landmark. Oh, fun. I've been there several times.
Something that's very important for storm chasing.
Oh. The Doppler radar was invented. For real?
Yes. I figured it was so much older. That's crazy.
Yeah. This is a quote from whatever website I
founded this on. Okay. Conventional radar provides
information about the location and intensity
of... precipitation associated with a storm,
while Doppler radar adds the capability to discern
air motion within a storm. Doppler radar helps
scientists and meteorologists see or detect near
-ground wind shears, which are dangerous to aircrafts.
Wow. Blow me timbers. Yep. Got that. Got that
dop, you know? Yep. Dop -dop. Dippin' dops. You
shouldn't. I wouldn't have done well. Dippin'
dops. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. Okay, okay. The
first Walmart supercenter opened in Washington,
Missouri. Wow. I always had trouble, like, differentiating
between supercenters and regs. Well, now I think
it's only supercenters. Is it? Okay. Yeah, I
don't think a regular Walmart exists. I could
be wrong. I don't know. I'm pulling that out
of my ass. Because everywhere I go is just a
supercenter. Yeah. I used to love about Walmart.
the um remember the the video games and you could
play game boy and you looked up in the game section
yeah i love that i would do that all the time
i like the lobsters i mean i don't like them
now because animal cruelty yeah but back then
i was like i want to see it's like i'm at an
aquarium but it's walmart yeah and they might
die that was that was my poor aquarium it's just
gonna walmart we used to have to drive like uh
45 -ish minutes to get to the Walmart the next
county over to do our grocery shopping. When
I lived in a hauler, we didn't have a grocery
store in county limits. But we went to the Walmart
and every time I remember going and looking at
the lobsters and playing with them. It was a
fun outing for me as a child. I probably stuck
for my mom. Like, oh my god, just get over here.
We need to get bread and leave. McDonald's opened
its 10 ,000th restaurant. Wow. Does it say where
it was? No. But it was in 1988. I like to think
it was in Albuquerque. Sure. I don't know why.
Let's say that. Shout out Albuquerque. I've never
been there, but hey. Neither have I. A big screen,
I put that in air quotes because what's big screen
in 1988? Yeah. A big screen television cost about
$3 ,000. I'm sure it did. And 98 % of U .S. households
had at least one television set. Yeah. That's
pretty wild. 15 % of U .S. households had a personal
computer. Yeah. Probably not many. I mean, why
would you even need one? Right. Like, for most
people. I remember our, I mean, obviously this
was in the earlier 90s, but, like, I remember
our big screen TV, because my dad was a big TV
guy. Like, he had to have the biggest TV known
to God. And they weighed, like, a thousand pounds.
Yeah, and it was literally, like, a whole entertainment
center of a TV, but just the TV. Just the TV.
And it was, like, huge brick block thing. And
it was a Panasonic. Oh, shit. It was pretty big.
Panasonic? It was probably, like, as, like, at
least three quarters of one of these walls. Yeah.
But it was just, it wasn't just the screen, which
people are so used to now. It was, like, a whole
fucking... Setup. G -unit. It was huge. G -unit?
Yeah. What I miss about old televisions is the
static. Yeah. So, like, whenever you turn it
on, you could, like, put your hand on the screen
and it just goes... Like the poltergeist girl?
Yeah. Yeah, I would do that a lot. Anyways. And
then my dad would yell at me more than me. Anyways,
let's keep going. Phantom of the Opera opened
on Broadway. Wow. This was interesting. Okay.
So for the first time, they put lights at Chicago's
Wrigley Field, which they had been the only MLB
park where night games were not played because
they had no lights. Baseball. Baseball. Okay.
The Cubs. Oh. Chicago Cubs. Okay. So they didn't
have lights. Isn't that wild? I mean, why do
you even need them? Who wants to watch baseball?
Yeah. Whatever. Hot dogs. You can get those anywhere.
Yeah, but they're just something about a wiener
at a game. Wouldn't know. There's been one baseball
game in my whole life. Really? Behind the bleachers.
Oh. Oh. Not sex. I was too young. Um, okay. So
these were the words that were appeared in print
for the first time. Ooh, I love this. Okay. A
-fib. Wait. Like when you die? Okay, atrial fibrillation.
Well, maybe having it shortened to AFib. Oh,
because they, you know, docs, they like to stat.
Shorten things, yeah, all the time. Code blue.
Um, channel surfing. Oh, yeah. Charter school.
Okay. E -book. I know Amazon, like. Yeah, but
I mean, now we have Kindles. Right. And I even
remember there being books, but then being on,
like, computers and phones and stuff. But, like.
In 1980, was there like, I wonder if there was
like a Kindle situation. Maybe. That was not,
I'd be interested to know that. I didn't get
that in my stuff. No, I'll look it up later.
It's something to think about. Gangsta. Paradise.
Hyperlink. Okay. JPEG. Mad cow disease. Oppositional
defiant disorder. Okay. Road rage. Service animal.
Before that, fuck you, honestly. Unibrow. Oh.
That's weird, because it's always been a thing,
but... Yeah. Here are some 10 cool food and beverage
trends. Love this. Love it. Angel hair pasta.
Capri Sun. Hell yeah. Chicken and veal marsala.
Marsala. Marsala, thank you. Chocolate mousse.
You know what? Never been a big fucking fan of
chocolate mousse. I like chocolate mousse. It's
fine. I like a mousse. I'm never gonna pick it.
If it's on a list of desserts, I would probably
not have dessert before I would choose to eat
it. Interesting. I don't know. It's just not
my favorite. I can make pudding. Fuck you. It's
airier than pudding. It's like a mixture between
a pudding and a whipped cream. I like a hot,
thick boy pudding. Okay. Sorry. Cool Ranch Doritos?
Fuck me up. I love a Cool Ranch Dorito. I prefer
nacho cheese, but I will still fuck up a Cool
Ranch. I would... I, nacho cheese is my least
favorite Dorito. You and Justin should make like
a stupid Dorito club. He feels the same. So the
top, Cool Ranch Dorito. Spicy Sweet Chili. I
don't like those. Favorite. No. Then we have
Tapatio. I hate those. We should not eat Doritos
together. I love the Tapatios. No, fuck that.
Cool Ranch Dorito. So mine is, they came out
with Buffalo Wing, but it was the Buffalo Wing
with blue cheese. That's probably number one.
Disgusting. If they came out with that again,
I would buy 17 ,000 bags. Nacho cheese. Just
basic bitch. Then spicy nacho. Really love. Then
Cool Ranch. Then maybe the barbecue ones. Those
aren't bad. Yeah, they're good. I can eat them.
And then maybe like the mango habanero. Not my
favorite. I've never had those. They're pretty
good. Okay. They're similar to the spicy sweet
chili, but they're just a little more like...
Spicy. Yeah, they're more spicy than sweet, which
spicy sweet chili to me is way more sweet. I
don't love it. I, when I make like nachos. Yeah.
I like use the spicy sweet chili Doritos. Okay.
It's so good. Not my favorite. They're also one
of the only ones that make Justin sick for celiac.
Doritos? Just the spicy sweet chili. Interesting.
Because if we buy Doritos, he can eat almost
all of them. Yeah, because it's corn. It's not
flour. And we never thought he bought them, he
ate them, and they glutened him. And they have
wheat. I mean, I'm sure there are others that
do too, but they're few and far between. Interesting.
Yeah. Very interesting. French onion soup. My
mom really likes French onion soup. I'll eat
the cheese off the top and send the rest back.
Something that I find interesting? Sushi. That
actually makes sense, because a lot of, like,
late 80s and early 90s, like, movies and TV shows
I've watched, it's like sushi's the new hot fucking
thing. And I bet it was. Popular baby names?
Okay. Andrew, Joshua, Matthew, Michael. Just
all the apostles. Amanda, Ashley, Jennifer, Jessica.
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda,
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, show.
Average life expectancy. I got you. 74 .77 years.
Okay. Oh, so it says comparatively the average
life expectancy was 76 .81 in Canada and 75 .38
in the UK. Okay, so. Not a whole lot of difference.
Yeah, we're all right there. Who cares? Favorite
holiday gift included the Koosh Balls. I loved
Koosh Balls. I don't know what the Koosh Ball
is. They're the, they're the, they have the,
Google it. They have the things. They have the,
like... Fuck! I don't know how to explain it,
but they're fun to squish and chew on if you're
nasty. Alright, and Ghostbuster toys. Okay. Um,
the fashion trends. Okay. Blue eyeshadow. Uh,
candy -colored makeup. Leg warmers. Let's get
physical. Chunky jewelry, stirrup pants, and
oversized tops. What the fuck is a stirrup pant?
The ones that have the things that you put your
feet in. Oh, I've always loved those. I create
them. I had them. I only had a couple pairs.
They became very hard to find in our day. But
I love them. Ugh, I need a stirrup. Like, honestly,
I would rather dress like that. Stirrup pants
and oversized top? I'm literally wearing leggings
and an oversized sweatshirt right now. That's
literally what I'm wearing. That's preferred.
That's what I'm gonna wear. Preferred attire.
Yep. Um, the magazine's, Time Magazine's Person
of the Year was the Endangered Earth. Bummer.
Did not work. Did not see that coming. No. Look
up a koosh ball. Okay. These. Yes! Okay. See,
but it's hard to describe. I would chew on them.
I was a sensory -seeking bitch. What can I say?
I'm not autistic, but I'm... A little autistic.
I'm neurodivergent. I'm neuro -spice. Yeah, if
I was in the Spice Girls, they'd call me neuro
-spice. And they'd keep me off stage. They wouldn't
let me out there. Snapple lemon -flavored iced
tea first appeared in grocery stores. Okay. I
remember the Snapple lady. She was on Celebrity
Fit Club on VH1 several years later. I was watching
I Love the 90s. I love the 80s and I love the
90s specifically last night. And Snapple Lady
came on and I just, I forgot that that existed.
And I was like, what the fuck, a Snapple Lady?
But, yep. Table tennis became an Olympic sport.
Okay. The price of a movie ticket was $4. Shut
up. I bought, okay, so I took, Mike and I took
Aunt Mary Do to see Minecraft. Don't question
me. Okay. I paid over $60. For three tickets.
Just tickets? Just. Why? Because that's how much
they cost now. It's almost $20 a ticket. Was
it like 3D or something? No! Low -fat dairy products
were gaining widespread acceptance. For the first
time, combined low -fat and skim milk sales exceeded
whole milk. Okay. i don't fuck with whole milk
really i don't fuck with whole milk it's too
milky yeah it's too much milk per milk you know
what i mean yeah i can deal with skim milk i
don't buy i usually buy non -dairy milk to be
honest with you i don't i don't remember the
last time i bought real milk we we buy two percent
but we always buy it we don't drink it we just
cook with it yeah so we buy like the small one
because it's just whenever we might need it Yeah.
I think if somebody, like, drinks a glass of
milk, I officially think you're a psycho. The
only glass of milk I drink is chocolate. Not
even do that anymore. But, like, when I was a
little kid, my meanwhile used to try to make
me have, like, a glass of milk with dinner. That's
coffee milk right there. That's fine. That's
fine. I'm saying just a glass of fucking milk.
Yeah. Get out of here. What's wrong with you?
I'm convinced. Orphan bones. Everywhere. Like,
if you're, if it's over 2005 and you're still
trying to do this. Something's happened. The
show 48 Hours premiered on CBS. I feel like I've
seen that. Apple sued both Microsoft and Hewlett
Packard for copyright infringement. And Microsoft
released Microsoft Office. Clippy! Clippy! Rest
in peace. So, and then Fazoli's. Fazoli's. Let's
get back to the apps. Full circle. Appy! Thanks
for listening to 30 Dirty and Dying. We really
appreciate your support, and if you want to keep
up with everything we're doing both on and off
the air, you can find information at the link
in our bio on TikTok and Instagram at 30dirtyanddying.
We've got affiliate links if you want to support
the things we're doing outside the show. You
can get in touch with us, find playlists that
we've made, and everything else that you need
to keep up with your favorite millennial podcast.
Now, let's get back to the show. Okay, so for
appetizers versus breads bracket. So for apps,
I have nachos. Wait, I'd like a surprise. I think
we should just do it live. Okay. I don't want
to think about it. I want to just do it. Okay.
Let's start with apps then. Okay. Nachos or spinach
and artichoke dip. Okay, see, this is hard for
me because nachos, that could mean a lot of things.
Uh -huh. There's a lot of different kinds of
nachos. There are a lot of different kinds of
nachos. You have a lot of variety with nachos.
Spinach and artichoke dip is a one -hit wonder,
you know? Yeah, but it's a one -hit wonder. The
garlic, mm. It's so good. A big ol' artichoke.
A big chunk. Artichunk. Fuck me up. I love an
artichoke. Yeah, but nachos. I'll go nachos if
you feel strongly. I feel strongly about nachos.
Now, I like a spinach and artichoke dip. Yeah.
Don't get me wrong. But I just think nachos because
they're so versatile. I've also had some really
bad spinach and artichoke dip. Like, I've had
some really shitty watery spinach and artichoke
dip. You know what I mean? It's hard to fuck
up a nacho. Yeah. It's easy to fuck up a spinach.
But I'm going to need extra sour cream, please.
Of course. Okay. Then I accept. Mozzarella sticks.
And I'm going to go out and say Chili's Mont
Sticks. They're so good, dude. I would do so
much for a Chili's, uh, what's it called? Triple
Dipper. Triple Dipper. I do Double Monts and
then the Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers. Sounds
slish. Or Buffalo Wings. Okay, I'm prepared to
go mozzarella here. Well, you also don't eat
meat. No, but I like Buffalo Wings and I can
eat. Like, I like the buffalo cauliflower. Yeah.
That's good. And I've had vegetarian, I can eat
vegetarian buffalo wings now, and I really enjoy
buffalo wings a lot. Mm -hmm. Um, but I don't
even think of them as, like, an appetizer. They
could be a meal. If I'm getting wings, I'm getting
wings. Mm -hmm. You know what I mean? Or, like,
maybe I'm eating wings on the side of, like,
pizza or something. I don't think appetizer.
Okay. Mozzarella sticks, that's an appetizer.
Then we're gonna muster. We agree, because chilies.
Let's motz it up. Let's motz, because I was gonna
put the triple dippler. triple dipper on here
but i wanted to go because there's so many different
restaurants that have so many of the same apps
yeah i had to break it up a little bit and do
more generalized but when i i had already planned
to talk about specific ones yeah i mean you got
to give everybody a chance yeah all right onion
rings chips and queso or guac chips and queso
i hate onion rings i hate onion rings i hate
onion rings i hate them i hate onions and i hate
onion rings Okay. Um, I will go with you. You
better. But I love onion rings. Fuck you. I love
onions. Raw onions. Raw onions. Cooked onions.
Get out of here. Onion rings. Onion petals. Okay,
you gotta stop talking or I'm gonna make you
leave my house. I love them. No. Okay. Chips
and queso. And I don't even like guac, but I'd
rather eat guac. Yeah, at first I was just gonna
put chips and guac and I was like, wait, queso.
Queso exists. Yeah. You damn skippy, it does.
What do you mean? I love queso. You know this.
I know. Give it to me with a straw, a spoon,
and an IV. Triple dip me, you know? All right.
Loaded fries. Charcuterie board. Say it. I don't
fucking get, like, the obsession with a charcuterie
board. I like it. It's fine. Who doesn't love
a Lunchable? But, like... It's, I don't understand
why it's become, like, the thing. This huge thing.
It's a huge thing. My mom loves them. Like, I
bought her a charcuterie, like, set for every
holiday, every gathering she wants to do that.
And that's fine. I mean, I can eat cheese, like,
with the best of them. Yeah. But I, just in general,
it's not just her. It's a whole thing. Everybody
loves these charcuterie. I like a charcuterie.
I like a charcuterie. But, because it's, there's
so much you can do with it. Like, I. So for my
sister's baby shower that we did for her first
baby. Yeah. We didn't do a birthday or birthday
shower. A baby shower for the second one. Well,
yeah, it already happened. Yeah. So. Very close
together too. Like you still got all the stuff.
Everything's right in the house. Right. So I
made part of like the charcuterie. I did a butter
board. Okay. But like that's fine. It was like.
I, it was like, I did two different butter boards,
right? I did like a savory butter board and I
did like a sweet butter board with like a honey
and like a fig. Okay. And it's literally just
fucking butter that, and I had little pieces
of bread and stuff. Like you can do so much stuff
with a charcuterie. That's honestly fair. Also,
we have a code link in our bio for a appetizer
charcuterie. So yeah, let's pick that. appy hour
app but yeah let's i see what you're saying the
diversity does help yes because like loaded fries
good but you can do so much with a charcuterie
board lots of meats and cheeses lots of fruits
lots of veggies that's true butter you're red
you're right oh i see where you're coming from
now i'm thinking basic charcuterie board you're
just thinking at a lunchable right now yeah we
got your crackers you got your meat you got your
cheese i mean i'll fuck up a lunchable any day
yeah all right charcooch Cut my life into pieces.
This is my charcuterie board. Cool. All right.
How do you, how are you spelling that? Charcouche.
Oh, okay. You spelled it correctly when you actually
wrote it. I was like, are we going to have to
have a talk? No, I'm just being funny here. Okay,
good. All right. So nachos, mot sticks. I feel
like it's mot sticks. I feel like it's nachos.
And that's saying, cause like I, again, I fuck
with the Chili's mozzarella sticks, but it's.
Only chili mozzarella sticks that I like. That's
insane. If it's any other mozzarella stick, I
peel the breading off of it. You're a freak!
And I just eat the cheese. Why are you like this?
But the Chili's ones, I eat the whole thing.
Mike won't let me eat the mozzarella sticks.
Because he doesn't want to see me peel them.
I just, I have to shed the outer layer before
I can eat the cheese. Because I just, I don't
care for them. Should we start sending these
directly to your therapist? Hello, ma 'am. I
only like Chili's mozzarella. Okay, honestly,
I don't even like nachos this much, but go with
nachos because I don't want to keep picturing
you peeling a mozzarella stick like a freak show
monkey. Nachos, nacho me up. Chips and queso
guac or charcuterie? I really, either one. Chips
and queso. Sure. I like chips and queso more,
but I think I probably would eat them equal.
You know what I mean? Like, just, I don't know.
Chips and, like, and the thing is, what makes
the appetizer of, like, chips and salsa and stuff
better is because it usually is free. Yeah. Whenever
you go to a Mexican restaurant. Yeah. Like, you
just get chips and salsa. Yeah. And you, it's
only, like, a few dollars to add queso or. Well,
and I'm always going to get that. So, I mean.
I agree. Yeah. So in the same era here, era,
in the same genre, genre, genre, nachos or chips?
I would honestly say chips. Because again, I
feel like you've got your variety without it
being, because again, it's really hard to fuck
up chips and queso or chips and salsa or chips
and guac, whatever your, whatever your trip dip
is. It's really hard to fuck that up. I have
had some fucked up nachos. It can throw some
weird shit on there. It can get gross. I think
what bothers me when, so like there's a place
that we go to, they've become dry. So like they
have like a cheese sauce, but they also have
like sprinkly cheese, but they've been like not
putting the cheese sauce on it. So it's not like,
I like a wet chip. Me too. And if it's dry, I
don't want a dry nacho. That's what I'm saying.
Nachos, you don't have enough control. Yeah.
It could get weird. Whereas if you get chips
and queso. You can order salsa. You can get a
little side of sour cream. I can make my own
nachos right here. Right. A side of jalapenos
if you're feeling crazy. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
I think it's chips and queso. Chips. I want to
have some beef right now, though, really quick.
Okay. I can't believe you didn't put pretzels
on this list. Wait till we get to bread. Okay.
Bread time. Bread time. Cheddar bay biscuits.
Or the Cheesecake Factory brown bread. I've never
had that. It's okay. Okay. But people are, like,
rave about it, so that's why I put it on here,
but, like, I don't give a fuck. I'd rather do
Cheddar Bay Biscuit. I'm gonna go with Cheddar
Bay Biscuit. Cool. Call me white trash. See if
I care. Cheddar Bay Biscuit. Outback Steakhouse
bread. Okay. Hard to beat already. Yeast rolls.
Like, the buttery yeast rolls from, like, Texas
Roadhouse and stuff. Outback Steakhouse. Are
you kidding? No. I am so fucking serious right
now. But the yeast rolls are so good. No, they're
fine. They're fine. Outback Steakhouse. Outback
Steakhouse. But a yeast roll with like a honey
butter? Fuck that. Or like a cinnamon butter?
No, I don't like that. I don't like sweet butters.
Get the fuck out of here. I love a sweet butter.
I'm a savory bitch. I'm a sweet bitch. Well,
it's Outback. Think about the Outback rant. That's
not this. You can dip the bread into the ranch.
And it's unbelievable. Or... No. Yeast roll.
No. It's buttery and delicious. No. It's like
light and airy. You can eat so many of them.
Who would have thought that a vegetarian slash
pescatarian would be coming out so hard for Outback
Steakhouse? But good day, mate. Here we fucking
are. I'm walking on the barbie, and I'm telling
you right now that I want to pick the Outback
bread. I lay down a lot over on the app side.
I let you peel your mozzarella sticks and peel
me into submission, okay? Give me the Outback
bread. Fine, you get Outback bread. Yes. Soft
pretzels. Cornbread. Fuck cornbread. Soft pretzels.
Ah, fuck with the cornbread. I love cornbread,
okay? I'm Appalachian as fuck. I've had cornbread
my whole life. But soft pretzels. You can dip
in beer cheese. And mustard. And then I just.
And nacho cheese. I just. And cream cheese. Any.
Anything. Anything. Dip a pretzel in anything.
If you dip a perfect pretzel into a perfect thing
of beer cheese, I will just appear. I'm like
a ghost or an angel or something. I'm a pretzel
bitch. All right. Garlic breadsticks. We know
what I'm going at. Fazoli's. Yeah, that's what
we're picturing. Italian bread with dipping oil.
I mean, I'll go with whatever you think here,
but I prefer breadsticks, I think. I like the
dipping oil, but some of it I don't like, and
it gives me really bad heartburn sometimes. If
I'm going to eat just plain Italian bread, I
honestly would just prefer, like, some good butter
on it. Yeah. I like feeling, like, fancy at,
like, a nice Italian restaurant with, like, a
little dippy. Yeah, it's nice. Let me dip it
in the oil. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, so I mean,
I'll go with you, because I like them both probably
equal. I think slightly preferred breadsticks,
but not enough that I care to fight with you.
Yeah, I'm doing breadsticks because Fazoli's.
Yep. It's not sponsored, but it could be. Fazoli's,
if you can sponsor us, I will. I've loved you
my whole life. Yes. It's always been you. It's
always been you. It's all I ever talk about.
When I went to, um, back in the 90s, you were
in my hometown. Yep, same. Loved it. It's all
I ever cared about. Every birthday. Clarissa,
what do you want for your birthday dinner? Fazoli's.
I want Fazoli's. And then when you disappeared,
it's like a part of me shattered. Yeah. I was
nothing. There's a blank space in my heart. Yeah,
and I'll write your name. And then when I went
to Colorado to visit, guess what was there? Fazoli's.
She almost didn't leave. I tried to move there.
For Fazoli's. For Fazoli's. I'm just like, you
know, I have to stay. Fazoli's. I was the only
one that ate it, too. Well, my parents would
take me to Fazoli's for my birthday. It was like,
I was eating Fazoli's. But they let me go, and
I was happy, content, bitch. It's my enrichment
time. Leave me alone. It's Fazoli's. Alright.
Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Outback Bread. Outback
Bread. Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Outback Bread. I
am not going to sit here and let you tell me
Outback Bread when there's a Cheddar Bay Biscuit.
Outback Bread. Garlic -y. Outback bread. Cheese?
Outback bread. I can't have this. We're gonna
have to do rock, paper, scissors or something
because I'm not. I'm not giving - Cheddar Bay
Biscuit? Outback bread. Outback bread isn't that
good. It is! Honestly, Cheddar Bay Biscuits,
can't admit. They're good. They're not great.
They are great! I disagree. Outback bread. Cheddar
Bay Biscuits. We're gonna have to do a two out
of three rock, paper, scissors situation. Please
hold. Hey. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty and
Dying, the show for millennials by millennials.
We get real about chronic illness, burnout, nostalgia,
and why we aren't exactly thriving. If that sounds
like you, join us every Thursday for new episodes.
Now, back to the show. Welcome back from the
Rock, Paper, Scissors break. And Outback is victorious.
It's a good day, mate. Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
Not sponsored, but it could be. It's a great
day. Good day, mate. Hell yeah. I do love Outback.
Yeah, it's good. Cheddar Bay Biscuit is so much
better. It doesn't even matter, Courtney, because
you already lost. Cheddar Bay Biscuit, you won.
No. Soft pretzel or breadstick? Pretzel. No questions
asked. But, Fazoli's, you'll be in my heart.
Outback bread or pretzel? Pretzel. Good. Because
if you were, for one second, going to say Outback
bread, you've seen me. We're never recording
a podcast again. Oh my god. This is how it ends?
You've seen me inhale pretzels, okay? I love
pretzels. But I like them... I don't even think...
I think of them as their own thing. So if it
was just doing bread, I would fight for Outback
all the way. Pretzels are superior bread. Yes.
So yes, pretzels. Alright, so chips and queso
guac salsa or pretzels? You already know what
I think. Pretzels. Right, because you can use
all of those dips in a pretzel! Yeah, I don't
think I'd recommend guac, but... Why not? I don't
like guac very much, but for me, I'm thinking
the texture against the pretzel. Well, I mean,
what's the difference between that and, like,
avocado toast? I don't like avocado toast either.
I'm a bitch for an avocado toast. I know you
are. Millennial. Oh my gosh, avocado toast on
a pretzel bun? That would actually probably be
really good. I think I could fuck with that.
I need to go. Because the texture would be different.
Pretzels win! Pretzels wins! I was so hopeful
that it would win. I made the bracket pretty
with pictures. You always make a pretty bracket.
Courtney is the bracket bitch, truly. Yes. I
try my best. Yep. Well, now, let's talk about
our favorite. We're pretty general. Yeah. Let's
talk about some of our favorite specific appetizers
and things. Okay. Let's just rap a little bit
about it. Well, we already know. I love a triple
dip. Yeah. Triple dips. Triple dip all the way.
I get that as my meal. I really wish that...
Chili's, if you're listening. I really, because
I used to love the triple dipper. Obviously,
I'm a veggie pescatarian now. If you would make
the little sliders with like a veggie patty,
that would be wonderful for me. That would be
wonderful for me. Please do that. Please look
into it. Maybe. Because I love a slider. I love
a slider. And I like the triple dipper sliders,
like from back in the day. I remember they were
pretty good. Yeah. Because they have like a little
onion on it. Yeah. And then like a, like a swat,
like a ranch, like a swat. It was good. Yeah.
It's good shit. So trip dips. Trip dips. Trip
dips are good. Um, I always get the bloomin'
onion at Outback. Obviously I don't care for
that. Or the petals. Because it's, because it's
like a onion ring. Um, but the Aussie cheese
fries. Oh, absolutely. Their mac and cheese bites
are also really good. Never had them. Oh, they're
really good. I don't stray. I, it's always. Onion.
I'm getting, if I'm ordering from Outback, which
I do a lot, you'd be surprised. I'm getting the
cheese fries without bacon, but with extra cheese.
I'm getting the Queensland pasta with just either
just shrimp or just plain, no protein. Occasionally
I'll get the mac and cheese bites or something,
but that's pretty much what I'm getting. I might
get like a thing of shrimp or whatever. I also
love their coconut shrimp. I love their coconut
shrimp. Yep. Sometimes like if Mike will get
like the, like a steak and like how they have
like the, he'll get like steak and the shrimp
and then I'll eat a couple of the shrimps. Yeah.
Um, normally I'll get an Alice Springs chicken.
I used to get that a lot when I ate chicken.
That was my favorite. I love the Alice Springs
chicken with the honey musk. It was so good.
Um, the mushrooms too are perfect. Yes. Um, I,
they have my favorite dressing ever. Tangy tomato.
I love the tangy tomato dressing. They have one
of the only, like, restaurant salads I really
enjoy. The croutons. Well, that, but the blue
cheese pecan one or whatever. Oh, fuck off. I
love that salad. Disgusting. They do, like, a
really finely chopped, like, green in it. It's
really good. Well, you lost my blue cheese. Well,
sorry. Mike will be on board with you, though,
because he all of a sudden likes blue cheese
like a freak. Good. I'm rubbing off on him. Look
at your spouses just becoming one big mean person.
Would we be called Marissa or Clike? Clike. Because
Marissa's a name. Yeah, it's a real person. It's
a real person, but... Clike. There's no one else
like that out there. No. So, like, I love Applebee's,
personally. I still really like Applebee's, and
when I'm thinking of, like, a pretzel... Now,
honestly, I'm thinking of a pretzel, like...
Some breweries and stuff have been to have really
great pretzels and beer cheese. But the one at
Outback is - The pretzel sticks? I'm sorry, Applebee's,
is not bad. They're, like, kind of hard on the
outside, soft on the inside. Like - And that
Blue Moon beer cheese, fuck me up. But they never
give me enough. Order, like, three. I do. I am
like, fuck your mustard, give me all the beer
cheese you got. I like the chicken wonton tacos.
They're okay. I always liked Applebee's spinach
artichoke dip, though. Yeah, Mike really likes
our artichoke dip. They do a good one. Their
meal, though, I always get the, like... like
the mac and cheese, but it has like the honey
pepper chicken. And I always get an extra side
of the sauce. Yeah. Because it's never saucy
enough. No. I used to get that a lot, though.
It was always really good. I get the Parmesan
pasta that has the grilled chicken on top, but
I get it without the grilled chicken. And that
one's really good. I never get pasta. That's
like what I get there pretty much now. I used
to get, they had the, like, Chinese chicken salad
or something with, like, orange chicken. I used
to really like that when I ate meat. But I don't
know if they still make it. Hmm. Good shit, though.
Good shit. Where else do you like to go? I mean,
I love a Mexican restaurant. Chili's, Outback.
Yeah, we're doing all the chains. You hate Olive
Garden. Oh, Olive Garden. I don't want to shit
my pants. The bread's okay, but I really think
it's overrated. It's over... Yeah, like, people
are all about it, and I'm just like, have you
been to Fazoli's? Yeah, it's okay. Like, they're
fine, but... Like, the salad is fine. Yeah. The
soups are fine. Pasta's fine. Fine. Plain Alfredo.
No meats. That's pretty much what I get when
I go there. The Alfredo's not bad. The ziti is
okay. Like, I like the ziti, but, like, I don't...
Obviously, I don't get meat, but even when I
ate meat, I don't think I got anything with...
I would get the stuffed chicken marsala. I don't
think I've ever had that. That was my fave. I
like their stuffed mushrooms. They're pretty
good. They've got some good apps, I will say.
Don't sleep on Olive Garden's apps. We just get
the sauces for the breadsticks. See, we do that,
but then also they have the stuffed mushrooms
and they have the... It's like fried... and fried,
like, pieces of ziti. And that stuff's pretty
good. I like that stuff. Yeah. We never go. The
last time we went, we did just get soup salad
breadsticks. Yeah. I only ate chicken gnocchi
soup. I ate, like, one and a half bowls. And
then some salad, but it was all the icky, hard
pieces. I don't like the white pieces of lettuce.
The iceberg? I... Hate it. I hate white lettuce.
Me too. I hate it. And, like, the insides, like,
the core of, like, the... What's that lettuce
called? Romaine? Romaine. I hate the core of
the romaine that's in, like... I can handle it,
but I don't... I'm with you on the white. I pick
it off. Oh my god. Oh my god. Do you have like
a surgery kit that you take to dinners with you
so you can - Pick things apart? It's just my
fingies. Okay. When we have like roommate at
home, Michael cuts pieces off for me and have
salad for me. Marriage. Marriage. I'll give him
my icky pieces. And then he'll give me his olives.
I love olives. I don't know. I don't like green
olives. I love green olives. I like black olives.
I like both. Fuck me up. I'll eat a black olive.
I don't really care for green olives. I like
a black olive on a pizza. Me too. You know who
else like black, who likes black olives? Maisie
the cat. I love that. Yeah. One day I ordered
a pizza like years ago and she was like trying
to eat it right off my plate. But then when I
put the plate down, like a piece of black olive
had fallen off and she just like ate the whole
thing. Wow. So then I tested it and I gave her
another one and she really liked black olives.
For a while I was buying canned black olives
and just giving them to her. Not like too much.
Not when she got sick, but like as little tweets.
Yeah. Just little olive treats. She really likes
them. I don't know. That, she likes sour cream.
She likes mayonnaise. White sauces. Yeah. She
likes biscuits. Hmm. Bean loves breads. Like
sweet breads. She loves like cake. Yeah. Maisie
loves frosting. Oh, yeah. Which they say cats
can't taste sugar. Yeah, they can't do like sugar.
But she loves sweets. Yeah, so does Maisie. It's
weird. I don't think that's true. The sweet thing.
They have to know. They have to. There's gotta
be something that makes her want that. But she
loves bread. All the breads and all the sweets.
Like, she'll eat all the sweets. Yeah. Vlad likes
butter. I love butter. But Maisie's a sour cream.
I gotta give her, anytime I get anything with
sour cream, I have to give her some. Or she,
like, riots. They both also really enjoy shredded
cheese. We gotta pay the cheese tax. Yeah. Well,
we hope you guys have enjoyed this episode. It
was a quick one. We know what we want. We know
what we like. You take us out to a restaurant,
we're ordering quick. We know. Yeah. It's the
same things. I don't deviate. Nope. I don't try
new things. Nope. Give me the chicken strips.
Give me chicken strips or give me death. Well,
not you. Fake chicken. Yeah. Okay. If you were
doing me, give me pretzel sticks or give me death.
Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. But we hope you guys
keep rocking and rolling. And hey, make sure
you follow us on Instagram and TikTok. Everywhere
where you listen to podcasts. Give us a rating.
Five stars. We're the best. You gotta do the
thing. And share us. We're your friends. Yeah.
If you guys are trying to figure out where to
go to dinner tonight. Outback. Yeah. Go somewhere
and send them this episode and get some conversation
flowing. And I don't know. Maybe invite us. If
you're not in our area, we'll be there in spirit.
Yeah. We love you guys. And we'll talk to you
later. Yeah. Bye. Roll it roll it roll it roll
it