Life is a crisis. Life is a crisis. Life is a
crisis. Should we start? Speaking of life is
a crisis. Life is a crisis and welcome back to
your favorite crisis coping skill. I'm Clarissa.
I'm Courtney. And this is 30 D &D. 30 Dirty and
Dying. Did you almost forget what it was called?
No. Okay, we've been gone for a minute. We had
to take a little break. Yeah, because Corny was
lost at sea. Into the ocean. End it all! But
it didn't end. Well, the cruise ended and I was
sad about it. Now she's back. Now I'm back. Landlubber.
She's a landlubber again. Yeah, I guess. You
don't love it? Land? Yeah. No. I love cruises.
I didn't take my Wubbutrin the entire week and
I didn't cry once. This I would just like to
remind everybody that take your medicine. Nothing
you hear in this podcast is medical advice Please
don't do anything. We say if you're medicated
continue the medication. I however just suck
at taking pills Which I need to talk to my therapist
now Do you I'm afraid to throw up? Oh, yeah,
then you do a Forgetful thing I was like same
but I've never been like I need to bring this
up in therapy No, but I don't have to take mood
altering drugs yet One day I'm hopeful. They've
always been like, let's try organic stuff. Not
organic. That's the wrong word. But you know
what I mean? Like, yeah, not not pharmaceutical,
like make me try and fix my brain parts. Some
of it works. Some of it doesn't. I don't know.
I've just this is life and I'm living it. And
so are you out there if you're 30 or 30 ish or
late 20 ish and it's getting weird. You found
the right fucking place because it's always weird
here. It is it is and we're gonna embrace that
today with a real talk We haven't done a real
talk in a while, but we do love our real time.
It's one of our favorite things Yeah, and we
thought we'd come back swinging And talk about
like our ovaries and shit Yeah, yeah, why don't
you tell them what we're doing today Courtney
Other than what I just said About ovaries and
shit? Yeah, tell us about your ovaries and shit.
Biological clock. Yep. We're coming to that age.
How we feel about it. Yes. How we feel about
kids. How we feel. Do we feel pressured? True.
And we'll we'll get to that. But first, we're
going to go back in time. Whoa. We've never done
that before. We do it every week. Let's go back
Back in time alright 2012 the year that the world
was supposed to end and it should have I saw
something recently that was like it did and This
is a new timeline and that's why the Mandela
effects. I don't remember the Mandela effects
ever being a thing but Don't know Also, it's
just like maybe this is just a nightmare like
a dystopian nightmare that we're all experiencing
Millennials because the world did end yeah in
2012 perhaps even y2k and This is just in our
in our brains because we're trapped in some sort
of weird Science fiction purgatory. I don't know.
I never watched Star Wars, but How about a so
2012 the world ended? But in case it didn't I
was in high school still I Was in college. Yes.
Yes. Tell me what your life was like in 2012.
Um, I Don't remember anything past yesterday.
Um, that's not true We do back in times every
week and you eventually get there every time.
Yeah, so in 2012 it was my 10 11 11 12 sophomore
junior year Okay, so like smack dab in the middle
of college smack dab in the middle of college.
I think at that time, I stopped talking to Bob.
It was a magical year. No more Bob. That's I
hope that's why the world didn't end. Like they
were like, you know what, we're gonna give her
a real shot. Because she's really just fucked
up the last five years. But we're gonna we're
gonna let her try. So you can thank Courtney.
For the world not exploding in 2012 if in fact
it didn't I'm going I'm going to try to go back
to my instagram exclusively because I feel like
I've said what I posted in 2012 a lot it was
stupid it was whatever I'm sure we'll talk about
it again, but I don't feel like loading Facebook
right now So I'm going to talk about what was
happening in my life in 2012 on Instagram I don't
have much so I might bleed a little bit into
early 2013 here with my post. Okay, because I
got my first I got my Instagram for the first
time in December of 2012. Okay, so very end of
2012. So I have a picture of my dog. Fuchs. Yep,
Fuchs who is still alive and well as of recording
this. Just woke up from a nap. He's on his ottoman.
I got Cheeto in 2012. Amazing. Look at us. Pets.
I think Fuchs was roughly like a year old or
something. I think we got him in 2011 or maybe
2010. Okay, I was in high school um and then
I got I got a picture of our Christmas tree that
year I mean is it Instagram if you're not posting
pictures of Christmas trees Especially with the
black border around and a very weird blown out
filter really weird filter I mean you can barely
fucking see the tree That's how it always went
another picture of my dog under the tree duh
looking cute as fuck You can also kind of see
an ornament that I made in first grade Me it's
in a wreath. We used crinkle papers I'm pretty
sure my mom still has all that but she doesn't
she doesn't put up a Christmas tree and she puts
up a like a mini Christmas tree now Yeah, and
she she puts on like one ornament a year. I also
posted this Haters gonna hate it's a it's a it's
a panda. It's a panda meme panda panda panda
like a broads in Atlanta Man, I posted I really
made the most of December I posted this thing
that my teacher drew on the board about intrinsic
identity. Deep. Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking
deep. Mostly this is my dog. Also, I drew a picture
of a doodle I did of Michael Buble as a radish.
When I was probably like in chemistry class,
you know, just. Oh, this was 2013. I'm looking
on my Instagram. Oh, yeah. It's you. Oh, no,
it fell. I remember that that was January 2013.
Oh, man. I love that. However, oh, this was also
January. It's okay. We're just me and you making
cake pops. Yeah, this was right before my grandmother
died. Oh, no, it's cool. It's fine. It's okay.
Oh, no, no, we've told this story. So my grandma,
my meemaw, she died in January of 2013. So she
was She had cancer. So like she at some point
toward the end obviously because that's when
they let you go on hospice. She was in hospice
at my house So either toward the end of 2012
and obviously into the beginning of 2013 and
she died at the end of January So I didn't go
out much, but I did decide to go out with you
and our pal Iggy, is that what we've called him?
Yeah, I know we were out with Tina I don't know
if you've ever given her a name, but it's the
first thing that came to mind. We were out with
our movie theater pals, and Kourtney and I made
cake pops, and then we went laser bowling, and
it was really fun and cute, and it was a nice
way to distract myself. And then what date was
that? When did you post that? Like actually?
I posted it on January 19th, 2013. She died like
six days later. Um, I have some very interesting
pictures. Okay. 2012. Yeah. I mean, you can't,
I went bowling again in 2012. Listen, it's like
all there was to do around here at the time.
So a picture of me and my bowling shoes with
a rounded edge border. Those are the only ones
I use. Yes. With the black frame and the rounded
edge. Um, also just the bowling balls. Mm. Hot.
Yep. I like to use those pink ones. They were
too heavy for me though. I had to find sixes
or eights because I weak bitch. No, me too. But
I like to use the pink ones and I would have
to use both hands. Um, our favorite pretzel bites
with cheese, pretzel bites with cheese. That's
what I feel like if you look at anyone's Instagram
in like 2012, 2013, it was basically just a really
close up shot of one item. Yes, weirdest border
and there's such a weird no border on this and
no filter on this well good to know it was pretty
much an ad because it was when we first got them
Yeah at movie theater and then I ate them and
I it was like our new pretzel bites hashtag So
good hashtag movie theater hashtag. Yum. They
were good. Wow. Look at you fucking marketing
queen. I Made cookies. Yeah, and I made a monster
cookie and I posted a picture of that. It looks
kind of like a meat pie Well, I put it on a pizza
Uh, yeah. Pizza pan. But then I also made regular
cookies. Good for you. Yes, I said - Ooh, the
apples on the kitchen decor. Man, that was -
Grandma. There's just something about - Cheeto
on Christmas! Look how tiny he was! Oh my god.
Cheeto is the OGPodcat, and he made his grand
entrance. In 2012. So honestly, that's the best
reason. Happy birthday, Cheeto! This is officially
your birthday podcast. I don't know when your
birthday is but we know it was in 2012. Oh, he's
got a hat on. Do you know what this had to have?
That's so cute. And then my artsy picture for
the snow. Get you it's so we had this decoration
like they're what are like tree bulbs. Bulbs
is what we call them. But they were outside.
Oh, like the big ones. They were like the big
tree bulbs. I got you. They were almost like
they were like blow up like a bouncy ball material.
That sounds fucking fun. So that's what we're
outside and had still on top of them. And that
was the picture. And I titled it White Christmas.
Wow. No filters, I don't think. 2K12. 2K12. What
are some other? Oh, this was Do we have any lucky
charms my least favorite person? Yeah, he was
in my 2012 era. Oh Horrible time horrible time.
I hated this man. I Don't understand. I don't
understand. Well, it was definitely the end of
2012 that I stopped talking to Bob because I
posted this picture of My camera app and that's
his head Yeah, his fucking spoon face. He looked
like a spoon. Look at this picture. Why do I
look so pretty? You always look pretty. Oh, thank
you. Very close up selfie. Very close up selfie.
Definitely edited. Oh, 100%. Your skin looks
like the snow. Well, I'm very white. No, but
it's like too smooth. It doesn't look like a
person. Yeah. Like I can't even see your birthmarks.
The neon. The neon green. It was a time. It was
like that cool story bro shirt with the neon.
I had that shirt. I know you did. With and I
think the picture that you showed me of it and
I believe we've posted this before. I was wearing
it with green zebra shorts. Yes. It was that
time. It was the time. And then this is my bedroom
with my zebra print bedding, my green walls,
and I had zebra socks on. It was a vibe. It was
a vibe. That was my whole personality. Apparently,
I think this is why as millennials, Some of us
struggle with Interior design because we went
through so many eras and meanwhile like our moms
and grandmothers were just like the whole kitchen
must be fruit And we're like the whole wall must
be zebra, but also like neon purple Yeah, which
is still a vibe and I do it now I don't see the
problem, but look how tiny she was I can't get
over it. Oh my god What a little bean was was
a bean. Do you want to know some other things
that happened in out in the world pop culture?
Yes, please. Because I'm just going back to this
and just getting nostalgic and this look my laces
for my shoes. They're green, bright green, bright
green. This is the bright green episode. Well,
breaking dawn part dose came out. Oh shit. Yep.
So I almost when I made the color already made
the collage when we'd settled on our thing. So
I'm using that. I almost made it the picture
of like for breaking dawn where they hold up
Carlisle's head. But then I thought it would
get flagged so I probably used a weird voluntary
guy the way when I first I Do you have the text
messages that I sent you as I was watching that
part? I mean, I'm sure I do but I don't I mean
it because that would be so funny It'd be a lot
of scrolling. It's been years in the making if
you want to hear that It's we definitely talked
about it on the Twilight episode. So yeah Reverse
it go back to season one Yep, yep And listen
to Courtney tell the story about when she first
watched Breaking Dawn and the Carlisle moment.
Oh my god. That was wild. Just like holding up
his head. Also, big song that came out and was
very poppin' was Starships. We're meant to fly,
hands up and touch the sky. Let's do this one
more time. Higher than a motherfucker! Also,
I think Taylor Swift red. Oh shit. Is that the
album name? That's an album. Yes I kind of remember
it. I don't I never listened to Taylor Swift
until let's find out the track listings I'm sure
there are the only Taylor Swift album that I
have listened to from start to finish is torture
pose apartment I listened to some of it. We did
an episode about it. You can also go find that
Yeah, it came out in 2012 red And then we're
never ever getting back together. We are never
ever ever getting back together. Uh, begin again?
I don't know that one. I don't know. We'll have
to phone a friend and it'll have to be sissy.
Yeah. I knew you were trouble. I knew you were
trouble when you walked in. Go me to places you've
never been. Now we're lying on the cold hard
ground. I watched that edit with the goat like,
I can only hear that I can too. And I'm not I
like the song. It's a fine song. When I listen
to the song, something's missing. It's the goat.
It's the goat is missing. And I think I think
she already rereleased that album. Did she yeah
Taylor's version Taylor's version but in she
what she should have done when she redid that
song Collab with goat collab with goat. Absolutely
22 you like that one? 22 yeah, I guess I don't
know if you like it, but you stim and sing it
a lot, so Hey, hey, oh that was terrible Oh Catfish,
the show started. Was, hold on, but the movie
came out first? Yeah, the movie came out like
2010 or 2011. Okay. And then the show MTV, they
did that in 2012. Okay, I watched the shit out
of that. Oh my god. Do you know that's still
going on? Yeah. Like how can you still be Catfish
knowing Catfish is out there? I don't know. I
don't know. Here's the thing. I'm gonna, I'm
gonna say something controversial because why
the fuck not? I love it. Okay, do it. So when
people are like on Catfish and they're like,
I'm in love with them. No, you're not. If you've
never fucking met him, I thoroughly don't believe
that you can fall in love with someone without
knowing them meeting them Like via the internet.
I don't think that I think you can have an affinity
for a person But I think you're falling in love
with an idea of them. Mm -hmm You can fall in
love with an idea of a person, you know, but
you can't that's why fanfiction works You can
fall in love with the idea of a person over the
internet because you're filling in gaps to make
them exactly what you want and less human. I'm
not saying you don't like them. I'm not saying
it's fucked up when you find out that they're
not real and they're 45. It's very fucked up
and and how dare they but also you're not in
love with them. Don't send thousands of dollars
to a stranger. Baby don't do that you know or
anyone really but like you're not in love with
them. It's just I don't but I love catfish and
uh maybe one day as a society we will learn but
until that day Neve is around. Neve is there
for all your catfish needs. Yeah. I did. Does
he have a new co -host yet? Because like Max
left obviously a while ago. And is that one girl
for a while? Cammie. Yeah. Who I love. I loved
her. I think they had a great vibe. But she just
announced she was gonna leave too. So I don't
know. I don't know if there's been an announcement.
I cannot tell you the last time I actually watched
it. I never watched the episodes with Cammie.
Oh, I did. I watched the episodes. I haven't
seen all of them, but I saw most of them, I think
up until I watched them through quarantine where
they were just like assaulting people via zoom,
which was so fun. I mean, if they're not gonna
like get on a phone call, or they do some of
them do. Okay, I don't know. There's some I guess
I have not catfished anyone. I bet Pete catfishing
time was 2020. Of course, because people are
lonely in their homes. And like, they were asking
for money. There was a lot more of like the money
situation. Yeah, seasons. But like, I've never
catfished anyone. But I feel like if I get a
DM from me even was like, we need to zoom with
you right now to prove it, I would do it. Yeah,
I'd be like, yes. Hello But I don't think I've
not watched too too many after that point At
least not in order to where I can say like the
whole like where they're at with it now But so
I mean, I'll definitely keep watching it though.
I mean is he still doing it after his accident?
I I guess I mean they haven't canceled the show
I don't know if they filmed recently like I don't
know where they are and the whole filming schedule
But like like where they were at season wise
with all that so I don't maybe max will come
back Mean they're like best friends. I love kindred
souls. I love max. He's such a dick his peppered
hair. It's not pepper He's a full -blown silver
fox. Ah, and I love it. I Just like that how
he's like you see how that's ridiculous, right?
Like I live with max You would I do yeah, I'm
max your neve Hey Thanks for listening to 30
Dirty and Dying, the show for millennials by
millennials. We get real about chronic illness,
burnout, nostalgia, and why we aren't exactly
thriving. If that sounds like you, join us every
Thursday for new episodes. Now back to the show.
Um, so today we're doing a real talk about, uh,
biological clocks and ticking. Um, we talked
about TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. You were so dedicated.
Your face got so serious. We talk about like
the pressure to have kids and stuff in season
one, but obviously it's been a couple years Yeah,
we're older now. Mm -hmm. And we thought it's
worth revisiting and talking about again because
it's it's one of those things that You might
be totally confident in your decision I don't
mean that but like why you're making your decision
and your lifestyle probably continues to change
and evolve and you gain some new perspectives,
so we We're no exception to that rule. So we're
just going to talk about it. You know, now that
we're a little bit older, we're both 30 plus.
And the idea of taking biological clock basically
is boiled down to as a woman. gets older starts
to feel maybe an increased pressure to procreate
because Society says that you should and there
is that there is the thing of like once you're
after a certain point like you're Geriatric pregnancy.
Yeah, I think if you're pregnant post 35, is
that it something like that? It's technically
called a geriatric pregnancy. There could be
complications whatever but really I think it's
I think mostly I did a tiny little bit of research
to like where the term comes from this. Okay.
And it it's essentially attributed to like, because
you only have like a finite number, assuming
everything's in working order, and you know,
whatever, you only have a finite number of eggs
in your ovaries. Like you're born with however
much you got. And then they deplete wish I had
none. Huh? I said I wish I had none. Oh, I thought
you said which I had none. I was like, Well,
that's a fun trick. How'd you get more? Because
you can, I mean, you got what you got. And in
general, they do start to kind of decrease and
you know, you've been losing eggs since whenever
you started your period. So your numbers start
to deplete a little bit, and hormonal stuff starts
to happen. And it just becomes can potentially
be a little more difficult to conceive for some
people. So I think there's this pressure of like,
well, I really need to get on that. If you know
what I mean. Yeah. You got to get on that. But
you got to get on that. In order to get on it,
you got to get on it. Unless you don't want to
get on it. Yeah, I mean, maybe it's in the doctor's
office or something, but you got it. Something
has to happen. Yeah, something's got to be put
into something else. Yeah, somewhere, somehow
someone I don't know. But so we are both child
free people, childless, child free. I don't know
how you want to put it. You're definitely like
child free because you have decided and kept
your decision strong that you don't want to have
kids. Correct. So just, I don't know, talk us
through that a little bit. You know, obviously
you've always had this position. If they go back
and listen to season one, that was your position.
But how has it stayed constant and what are some
things that have You know gone into keeping it
a constant decision as you've gotten a little
older Well how to keep it a constant is might
got a vasectomy That's also why I thought it
would be a good time to talk about this because
well No, because it's like it's at a certain
point you do just if you're making your decision
and you're staying confident in it you you do
Permanent type things like no, we're definitely
not doing this and you guys recently made that
choice. Yes So what just what went into making
that choice and you just talk us through the
whole thing a little bit Um, I mean, I feel like
the older that I got the the less I enjoyed Being
around kids. Yeah, like I love my nieces like
I love my friends kids like I want to spoil them
I'm the fun and it doesn't mean I don't hate
children. No, but you don't want to have your
own. I don't want to be around them all the time.
Yeah. Like, in spurts, when I get to spend time
with the kids around me, that's fine. Yeah. But
like, in small amounts of time. Yeah. Well, I
do think there's a difference in like, I don't
think anybody who likes or who doesn't want kids
just has to hate kids no but i feel like that's
what like people think yeah it's perpetuated
hard yeah it's just like okay so you don't want
kids do you hate them um but also i have a lot
of reasons that i don't want to be pregnant specifically
okay um i have a phobia of throwing up you do
uh and i don't want to risk potentially throwing
up and i had this conversation with someone they're
just like well it's not like it's not a fact
that you're going to i'm like but i'm not going
to take that chance yeah because i don't want
to throw up that bad hey whatever my friend ali
every single day of her entire nine -month pregnancy
it didn't stop at the first there's a condition
i almost said first semester It didn't stop at
the first semester. We're so removed from this
process. But no, there's like a condition, right?
That like, it makes you really sick. Morning
sickness. Yeah, but no, there's something where
it's not just the first trimester, where it's
like you're sick the whole time. And sometimes
you have to be hospitalized. I think Amy Schumer
had it. Like I watched her documentary that she
did. And I think she had that. It was really
bad. Like she had to be hospitalized like several
times for... dehydration and yeah, it was bad.
So I mean, it can't it's a real medical condition.
Yeah. And I just I don't I don't want to risk
it. I don't want to risk the potential of throwing
up. Yeah. But also the idea of pushing it out
of me. Disgusting. Right. So then but a lot of
people would say it's magic. No, fuck that. That's
all I was gonna say. It's a miracle of childbirth.
Yeah, it's not a miracle. It's a medical crisis.
But no, what I was gonna say is a lot of people
would hear that and be like, okay, but you can
still be a parent and not be pregnant. People
do surrogates, people adopt, whatever. So then
it really isn't just about not wanting to be
pregnant. You also have no desire to parent a
child, right? Um, that's where I think the disconnect
is for a lot of people. Yeah. So people think,
I mean, if people think it's selfish, then that's
fine. Of course, it's selfish. This is my also
but also having a kid like when people say who's
gonna take care of you and your older that's
not that selfish Yeah, I agree with you people
having kids can be selfish and people not having
kids gonna be selfish But this money that I earned
I want to go on a cruise. Yeah, I don't want
to be held back by a kid I don't want to have
to like I can barely take care of myself I'm
not mentally well ever and I'm not physically
well That's that's important to think so and
also like I also have all these metal like all
of these medical conditions Yeah, I have alcoholism
in my family Mike has Alzheimer's in his family
Yeah, like it's like why why would I want to
potentially pass these things on to someone else?
I think that's fair like Crohn's is genetic.
Yeah, it's such an like they can get it They
can get like alcoholism like the all of that
like it's fucking genetic it's like and it skips
generations Like not on my team. Well on mine.
So like my grandparents parents. Yeah, grandma
was fine My mom. Yeah, not okay. We're fine.
My kids are gonna be alcoholics bummer for them
No, like I get it. It's not fact. But it's possible.
But it's one of those things. I'm just like,
I didn't ask to be here. So why am I going to
make someone else be here? But in this in the
world, the environment that we're in right now,
like everything's shitty and unknown and like
traumatic. Yeah. And I'm like, why would I want
to? bring someone else in this world. Fair. No,
I think that's but honestly, and this is the
thing a lot of people are gonna hear the who
who want kids or who have kids or whatever. I'll
be like, Well, there's never a good time. Or
that's all true. Or I don't feel that way. And
that's fine. That's totally fine. But that this
here is the difference, right? Because they want
kids, or they're okay with having kids, or they
have a drive to have kids, or they enjoy the
kids they have. And then there are people who
just don't. So those things matter more to the
people who don't because it's like these are
part of our reasoning. and then it doesn't matter
to you and that's okay because then you want
to have kids and that's i'm not saying you're
a bad person because you brought a kid into this
world right now no but it's like if i don't really
want to don't pressure me to do it exactly and
i think that that's really what it is it's not
this thing of like everybody thinks the same
way and people are just deciding that it doesn't
matter obviously people who want to have children
think about it a different way as they should
because they want them yes unless they want them
for Selfish reasons. I do think there is this
thing of like there Then this goes back to kind
of like the topic that that prompted us doing
this today There is this bite that biological
pressure of like feeling like you should procreate.
I do think that happens there there are times
where I'm just like Maybe yeah, like and then
my brains like no exactly get a little like panicked
like oh my god I'm like should we do this should
we have had a kid should I have a kid? I'm 30
should I have it and then I get a little panicked
like I'm running out of time Mm -hmm. Oh my god,
and then I'm like now I don't really care like
I've never been as Set in it as you have been
for for longer like I'm I'm not definitely opposed
to having a kid but I also don't have, I've never
had this like drive to be a mom. I've never felt
like I want to be a mom. People talk about that
all the time, women especially, like I really
want to have a kid, I want to be a mom, it's
all I want to do. And I respect that and that's
cool. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with
that. And I know people that are like that and
they're great parents. Yeah, and that's fantastic.
And I love that. And those kids are gonna be
great. Yeah, and I know people who didn't feel
like it and then they're good with it, they're
happy with it, it's okay. I've, and they developed
that drive to like, yeah, I definitely love being
a mom or dad or whatever. I have never felt like
this need to be a mother. I just don't feel that
need. I'm not saying I couldn't do it. If it
happened, I'm not saying if I if I did have a
kid that I wouldn't get into the swing of things
and I wouldn't love it and love every second.
I don't know that. Yeah. But I just. Every time
that like biological pressure comes in, I'm like,
oh, my God, should I have done this by now? Like,
I'm getting old and my eggs are shriveled and
deviled eggs in there. But then I'm like, I don't
know, I don't really if if I go through and and
I they're like, okay, well, it's over now. You
can't ever do it. I don't think that's gonna
break me. You know what I'm saying? I think about
that. That's a good I'm glad you said that because
there are times where I've and like am i making
the wrong decision yeah totally but then i i'm
just like if i never do i will not be unhappy
with that choice that's what i'm saying exactly
like i love the life mike and i have right and
i love knowing that we can do what we want together
and like we have our family of the two of us
and our cats and dogs yeah and that's why i'm
not i'm not unhappy yeah that's how i feel like
i'm not i don't feel unfulfilled because we don't
have a child of our own there's nothing i don't
feel like there's anything missing i'm not saying
it wouldn't add and there wouldn't be great things
yeah if it happens but like i don't feel like
and i really never have i don't feel like we're
missing something we're not doing something where
our relationship doesn't have something or my
personal life just as an individual doesn't have
something Just don't feel that and I'm sure there
are people who do like I said Those are probably
people who have no always known I want to have
kids I want to be a mom and I want to and I just
don't think everybody has that and I think that's
okay. I would rather Be a little bummed out and
low -key regret that I didn't have a kid Then
have one because I think I'm supposed to and
then really regret it like Billy is here And
now I got to deal with Billy and I low -key hate
him. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen
No, but I also would hope that you didn't name
your kid Billy. I'm not no no, maybe a girl You
know what? I like it. I like that. Yeah, not
a boy though. I just it's not it's my go -to
like Random person name Billy not in my book.
So don't worry. I come up with better ones But
no, it's just like I would rather Be like a little
bummed out that I didn't do it Then be really
bummed out that I did and then there's you can't
take that back. No, there's a human being here
that needs me and I'm like, you know what? I
don't really like this. This sucks. I mean, look
at my parents. I'm just gonna look good for mine.
Oh, no, your mom. This is also something my mom
has never pressured me to have kids. In fact,
she's done the opposite. She's been like, please
don't get pregnant. Please don't get pregnant.
And then she she said a lot. She's like, listen,
I didn't want kids. And she didn't. I was accidental.
Yes. And she said, I enjoyed being a mom. I loved
being a mom. I love being your mom, but I'm not
a kid person. I think I, you know, I don't think
I would have done well with like other kids,
a lot of kids. That's why I'm an only child part
of it. Like, and she has said, she's like, listen,
don't let anybody pressure you into having kids.
If you don't want to do it, probably shouldn't.
But it's just having a real view of it. She's
like, it's, it's going to rock your life. Like,
yeah, and it changes everything changes every
and they can change relationships. Yes. Like,
do I think that Mike and I can withstand? Yeah,
that addition to our home? Yeah, probably. Yeah,
but it could. It can come like I see so many
people like really struggle in their relationships
with their significant other after having a kid,
because they no longer focus on each other and
their relationship and they only focus on the
kid. Yeah, and then their needs and feelings
are left to the side. And they are no longer
feeling fulfilled. And that's why people get
depression. Yeah, one I think too. It's like
some of that is natural, right? But you gotta
be ready to dance with it. You gotta be expecting
that hey, this is gonna be a lot. This is gonna
affect us. We need to be ready to withstand that
we need to have things that and I'm not saying
if you didn't have that when you had your kid
that you failed or something. That's not what
I mean at all. I'm just saying it's It's something
to think about if you don't have that like I
definitely want to do this Yeah, and I know that
my whole life my mom has been like listen do
whatever you want But like I didn't want kids
and not in this like I low -key wish you were
never born way but just acknowledging that it
makes a big difference and you know, my mom was
really young when she had me too and my dad is
your dad really something else and You know,
I can just tell you right now. I doubt that they
would have stayed together if I was not born.
You know what I mean? My parents didn't say together
when we were born. There you go. Mine didn't
eventually. But but a lot of people do have that
thing of like, I want to have a family. I want
my kid to have their family. It affects a lot
of things. I'm just it can really change the
trajectory of your life, which can be really
great. Or really bad. Yeah, and it just depends
on what you're ready to dance with and am I do
I want to risk that? No No, I like I personally
think that we would do it, but we've also me
and Justin I mean we've talked a lot about like
How we would parent and how we would do certain
things and go through certain things and I think
because it's not a priority for us to Have our
own kid together. It's like we can Kind of unpack
it and potentially be somewhat prepared now.
I know when it happens, you're not Everything
kind of hits the fan I get that but because it's
not something we're actively trying to do We're
also not kidding ourselves into scenarios of
like everything will be fine, right? It's just
kind of very real and honest because it's not
something that we're actively trying to achieve
but we've had a chance to really unpack what
it might look like. And obviously, yeah, he has
a kid. So he knows some stuff. I've learned some
stuff. So it's a little bit of a different situation
than just like nothing. But not really. I mean,
for us as our own couple, I'm saying it's it's
just it's just not a priority. So yeah, and I
feel like also like Mike and I have finally gotten
to this point, like in our careers, to where
we don't necessarily have to live paycheck to
paycheck yeah which is nice and i don't want
to stop that yeah and that's fair people who
are like that's selfish well fucking duh it's
how am i not supposed to be selfish a little
bit it's my life right I have to get through
this fucking thing, right? You tell me I have
to wake up every day and do the damn thing. So
shouldn't I get a little bit of choice in how
I do the damn thing? Yeah, like, if we want to
go to work tour, we're gonna fucking go to work
or we don't have to get a babysitter. I want
to sleep until two because I did. I did, you
know, yeah, I when I'm not I want to sleep in
on the weekends. Mike doesn't have things planned.
Exactly. I think when you've lived a certain
kind of life, especially like a childhood, that's
been Maybe not super stable or or you feel like
you were not Able to be very selfish. Yeah Like
I feel like and I've not been through as much
as some people whatever this is Olympics, but
like I had a rough start especially to my own
adulthood like I had I had a rough like early
20s and Sometimes I feel like I set myself back
a little bit because of some things that happened
with my mental health and then just Who I was
associating with and whatever I could go on all
day. But my point is I'm really enjoying living
my life for me Yeah, you know because I don't
think I really got to do that In a way that was
fulfilling. I'm not saying I didn't make self
decisions I'm not saying I didn't do things for
me and to you know spur my life forward but there
was a lot of like Anguish there and there were
some things that were not I wasn't able to feel
fulfilled Because it's what I wanted and live
the life that worked for me I was kind of putting
myself and being put into boxes To try and succeed
in a life that really didn't work for me for
a lot of reasons whether that's my mental health
whether that's just like what I enjoy and how
I want to live my life my views on things whatever
and I'm finally getting to do that, you know
and Don't think that I would be one of those
people who like everything has to change when
I have a kid because I'm a little older and I'm
a little established but also I'm not ready to
risk that because I feel like I haven't had enough
time to just Be me. Yeah and be in my life and
do what I want to do for me who you want to be
be a RBI me, you know, oh, yeah, I mean childhood
wise. Yeah, I mean, I like both my sister and
I grew up too fast. Yeah, like we didn't get
to have a real childhood. Yep. Because we had
to take care of ourselves and take care of our
parents. Yes. And like, well, yes, we did have
support with like, our grandma and like, Amarillo
Uncle Doug. Yeah, like we had people there to
like, make sure that Like it wasn't like a five
-year -old taking care of themselves. You know,
I mean, I wasn't a dateline episode. No, no We
had support we had help but like it's different.
Yeah, exactly. It's different and I Don't know.
I don't want to subject a Kid to that. I don't
think that's gonna be me and Mike obviously,
but like I also Grew up too fast and I just want
to have a good time Yeah, I'm here for a good
time. Not a long time. That's exactly what I'm
saying I'm enjoying being able to have a good
time and pursue things and just kind of be unapologetically
me and I'm not saying I couldn't do that with
a kid, but I know things might change and I don't
want to be a parent that's like Super selfish.
I want to be able to to be what my kid needs
while also be myself And I don't think I'm ready
to toe that line and maybe I never will be yeah
some people Maybe you're not ready when it starts
and you fucking you get ready because there it
is. Like I don't I don't know that my mom was
ready. She was she got ready. She figured it
out. I'm sure you can. I'm sure you I don't know
that I want to have to do that under that kind
of pressure. And if I never feel like I can,
then maybe that's my answer. And I feel like
I'm OK with that. Yeah, I don't. Every time the
biological clock thing happens, I really do.
It's the same thing of like. moment of panic
like oh my god I'm 30 I always said if I was
gonna have a kid I should probably get knocked
up before I'm 30 here I am what do I do now and
then what if I can't and then it's like kind
of okay with that yeah what if I can't oh well
oh well you know I think I don't think that would
matter to me And that's where I come down on
the whole biological clock scenario. Yeah, it
happens. It ticks. It gets scary for about 45
seconds. Yeah, I remember that it's like just
not that much of a priority. So it's okay. Yeah.
I mean, there's been a couple times where I looked
at Mike and like, do you do you wanna? Yeah.
And he was like, no, I was like, thank you for
really being back in. Yes. That's all I needed.
So with him deciding to take the plunge, if you
will, and get his dick cut off or whatever. I'm
kidding. I know what a vasectomy is. I just like
to be a dick. But with deciding to do that. Well,
it's reversible, technically. Of course. Yeah,
I know. But I'm just saying, like, I'm curious,
like, I know you can't speak for him. But like,
what's that been? What was that decision like
as a couple of like, coming to terms of like
doing something quote unquote permanent and you
knowing for sure you're on the same page there?
There was like almost no discussion. He was like,
yeah, I'll do it. You asked him to do it. Well,
we just like talked like especially Recently
when things for women were being taken away true
true Mike's like yeah, I'm gonna do this which
is great for him. Yeah way to go Mike. Mm -hmm
He's the best. Yeah, we've talked about it when
we're at this age what it's like we could still
We might still be fertile But we don't know myrtle.
Yep we don't want to do it right now, you do
have to start making kind of like game time calls
of like, okay, well, maybe we should do something
about this. And you guys did. Well, I also because
I was considering getting a hit tubes, tubes
tied. Yeah, I was a hysterectomist. I talked
to my GI doctor about that, because like, they're
still going into your stomach. They're still
like, yeah, and you have cutting in all of the
things. And he was just like, well, you'd have
to make sure that you're not inflamed. Yeah.
And do I want to risk potentially getting nicked?
Or like, obviously, they do these things all
the time. But like, there's a higher chance of
like a complication because of my Crohn's and
because of my inflammation. Yeah. Well, for women,
and for people who have like their reproductive
organs internal, yeah, it's a bigger surgery.
It's like Mike was awake. Yeah, maybe this is
another reason why I don't want to have kids.
I don't need I don't want everyone looking in
there. Get away from me, dude. Because like part
of me is like everyone's down. I'd rather it
just I think the goal for most people is to be
able to do it naturally and just but that also
seems like it's gonna hurt. I think if by some
weird thing that happened that I have a child.
I think I would rather just like schedule a c
-section and call it a day. Me too. But people
are like, oh, but the but the recovery is bad.
I don't care. I don't think I care either. But
this is also the thing. I'm talking about this,
like a total dumbass because I haven't experienced
it. I've never had a surgery. Well, I've had
colonoscopies. I've never had any. But I'm asleep.
I've never had a surgery. The most I've had is
the... I mean, can they really count colonoscopy
as a surgery? They just put a camera up my butthole.
I don't know. I've never had one. I've never
had any kind of surgery. I think it's considered
a surgery, but like, they're not cutting anything
open. They're just up my butt and into my colon.
Yeah. So I think it's okay. It's definitely fine.
It's fine. I don't think... Like I haven't had
like an action like a surgery beyond that. Yeah,
I've never had anything. Um, so Like fuck me
for talking about it right for being like, yeah,
just cut it out. Who cares? Like I don't know
anything about anything. Um I did hear though
that when they do that, they'd have to take your
organs out and put them in bowls And I don't
like that. Yeah, not wild. I don't like that
idea, you know, like what if They like go in
there, right? Yeah, and I have like They find
that I have like cancer on my something. But
that's that's more about this. This is my hypochondria
coming out. I have that kind of hypochondria
where I always think I'm dying, but I don't want
to do anything about it. Same. I'm scared to
death of going to the doctor. I'm scared to death
of having tests. When I have blood work, I like
I like hyperventilate. It's bad. And it's not
because I'm scared of needles or blood. I don't
give a shit about that. I'm afraid that they're
going to tell me I'm dying. So I don't go. Unless
something is really really bad and even then
I'm like, do you think I'm having an embolism?
Do you want to go to the hospital? Absolutely
not. I just want to know if you think I'm having
one That happens at least once a month here Justin
loves it. I'm sure he yeah, he's like, you know
what? I said, yes, I'm just putting you in the
car and we're gonna go to the hospital. I was
like, never mind I'll never tell you again. I'll
just do it. I'll die impromptu obituary that
says I did this because of you. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, we should have a kid for sure. They should
hear this. Well, this was fun. We just we like
to have our real talks and you know, they can't
ever get too super serial. Never super serious.
Just a little cereal. Like to have fun. Real
talks can be fun if you're honest and you're
willing to cope with some humor and just not
care what people think about what your opinion
on this is and that's kind of like where we come
down so we wanted to have this conversation hope
it helps you be more open about what your thoughts
and feelings are whether they align with ours
or whether they don't it's totally cool whatever
your whatever your reaction to that tick -tock
of your biological clock is you know the party
don't stop i was more thinking of hunger games
tick -tock tick -tock i've never watched hungry
games oh really no oh But I think this was a
fun conversation I like talking about this kind
of stuff and if you do too You should definitely
listen to all of our real talks and make sure
you're following us wherever you podcast Spotify
Apple podcasts Amazon music Google podcast I
don't fucking know wherever you're at wherever
you're at right now Hit the little button and
we'll be there and you can listen to us. Yeah,
we're back, baby We had to take a little break
baby because Corning was lost in the ocean, but
we found her. It's cool. She's back For now.
Yeah, if there's anything particularly you guys
want to hear from us, you should let us know
because we're at one of those. We're near the
midpoint of season seven. So we're kind of reevaluating
what we what the excuse me what the rest of the
season is going to look like. So if there's anything
in particular you want to hear, but it's also
our favorite thing. So we're going to choose
our favorite things anyways. Yeah, but you're
welcome to throw ideas at the table. Yeah, because
it could be our favorite thing. Yeah, you're
you guys are our favorite things. Very true without
you. We wouldn't have this we would not so also
keep an eye out for all the fun stuff We're doing
maybe merch We're still gonna do that this year.
Yeah Yeah, she was in the ocean you guys mermaids
attacking her it was a whole thing pirates. Yeah
the Caribbean I was in the Caribbean dolphins
whales sharks, etc Alright have a great day guys,
bye! Bye! This week on Shitbox, everyone's fired!