Do you feel 30 dirty and dying? Are you feeling
it, Mr. Krabs? I'm feeling a warm spot. Hey,
what's up? I'm Clarissa. I'm Kourtney . And you're
listening to 30 dirty and dying, a millennial
podcast that's made for those of us who thought
things might be a little bit more 30 flirty and
thriving. But it's not. It's not. And that's
OK. know we're just having a good time yeah I
think the best thing you can do is embrace that
it's not all gonna be roses you're not gonna
have it all together and that's fine nobody does
and anybody who says they do big fat liars like
the movie like Paul Giamatti painted blue that's
what they look that's what they look like yeah
what happened to Frankie Muniz is he okay um
so he F1 he races. No shit just like miracle
lane two. Yeah. Oh, I love it Yeah, but I think
like he had an inner. I it's so funny. I just
recently watched a video about him two days ago
I just realized when I said that out loud about
the movie. I was like, where is he? Yeah, so
he raised for the longest time Wow and then he
had an interview recently where he was talking
about Agent Cody banks. Oh, yes. Remember it
was like I'd be curious to see what he's doing
now. Now that is a is a sequel or whatever that
I might be interested in saying because he was
like what happens if agent Cody Banks doesn't
need to do what he did anymore. And he's just
like an adult dad. Yeah, just like driving a
minivan to soccer practice. I would love that.
Yeah, that would be so great. That would be I
was like, Oh, please, like a Kim possible of
that. Like, what happened? Are they still fighting
crime? Or did they just settle down in like,
Vermont? Yeah, you know? those those are the
kind of reboots I want to see. Yeah, navigate
like the tax code. Well, so as you can tell,
we are struggling, we're struggling, and we're
always trying to cope with nostalgia, and all
that fun stuff. And today, we're really going
to embrace the being 30 something, by playing
a little game. We've been doing a lot, but it's
our favorite thing. Yeah, this is the season
of our favorite things. And also, I think this
kind of game specifically. My goal here was let's
start some conversations a little bit too. So
it can get serious I mean it could get serious
super serial or just like real doesn't have to
be like super super serial But it just real talk
just real stuff, you know, I just want like cereal.
I don't have charms I have some no, I don't have
anything like that. I'm sorry. I have some shitty
protein cereal. It's not good It was not good.
Oh, yeah little spoons No, I don't remember what
the brand is I just know it's protein cereal
and I've had good protein cereal this one was
not so I'm not gonna put them on blast but I
Couldn't if I wanted to I don't like some raisin
bran raisin bread crunch. I love me some reason
I don't like raisin bread So we're gonna play
would you rather today 30 something edition perfect
So what I tried to do I came with some questions
here some would you rather some of them are based
in nostalgic things millennial nostalgia a lot
of them are based in how old we feel and Things
that we would not want to put ourselves through
anymore. Maybe life Yeah, but more specific sometimes.
Okay. You'll see when we get there. I don't want
to be surprised. Yeah, so we're just gonna go
through those questions. Maybe we'll talk a little
bit about them. Maybe we'll rapid fire a few.
Who knows? We're just gonna have a good old millennial
chat. But first, we gotta go back in time. Hell
yeah, we're taking a way back this time, huh?
So 1985. Oh, what a year that I was not here
for. Neither was I. Now, I think this season
we've also been trying to do some more diverse
back in time years. I feel like we, I mean, obviously
we're going to re... do like for as long as we're
gonna be podcasting we're gonna redo yeah every
season we repeat a lot because we we like to
there's there's no the limit does not exist like
things we could talk about for each of these
years and obviously our sweet spot is the mid
to late 90s and then like the early 2000s even
the 2010s ish that's kind of our sweet spot as
younger millennials, mid to younger millennials.
But we love our elder millennials. Yeah, we love
you guys. So we want to show you some love too.
So we're trying to do some more of your like
birth years years that you were just hitting
the scene. Just hitting the scene. I found a
website. Okay, that's 10 major events that happened
in 1985. All right, let's hit it. Ronald Reagan
sworn into office. Yep. The song we are the world
we That's one of the songs that I am I change
the lyrics to for my cat Like you know cuz I
make up songs yeah my cats and Maisie one of
her nicknames is which And so I go like, you
are the Weech. You are the Weechay. And then
I just like all the lyrics, I Weechify it. Of
course. Yeah, she loves it. Whenever, if she,
I'm serious. Like if she like his leg on me and
I start singing it, she literally just like cozies
in. That's her favorite song that I do about
her. I think she doesn't like a lot of the others,
but she loves We Are the Weech. I love that for
her. Yeah, me too. I love that for you. Thanks.
I'm so creative. Apparently Coke. Released a
like a new formula and it was like absolutely
not I heard yes I I feel like I remember seeing
stuff about this like there was a massive uproar
and then they switched it back Because it was
so bad The iconic American Highway Route 66 is
officially decommissioned Wow Good times though,
I bet good times Ron Fuller southeastern championship
wrestling rebrands as continental championship
wrestling. Oh, yeah. You know, I've never been
a big wrestling, although I really enjoy that
movie, The Iron Claw. I am not a big fan of excessive
physical violence. See, I am. Wrestling, I would
not call excessive physical violence. I just
don't understand what is interesting about it.
um well i will say that i mean and i can't speak
to like this but like the wrestling in the 90s
that was theatrical that was more like we're
watching days of our lives except they're hitting
each other more often um so the people it's like
i i get it but it's just not for me yeah but
like i like like boxing or something where they're
actually like i'm not saying that there aren't
wrestlers who i think more in this era the wrestlers
were actually like wrestling yeah And it became
it's become more theatrical as it's continued
on. I'm not taking away from their achievements.
They could bust me in half. Any one of them could
absolutely kill me. Yeah. You know, with a feather
boa on, it's fine. I'm not taking away from how
good you are at what you do. I'm just saying
it's definitely gotten more theatrical the longer
it's gone on. Yeah. Which is just whatever. It's
not for me, but I'm not saying it's bad. Like
even when I'm watching hockey, I'm like, why
are they fighting? See, that's the only reason
I would ever watch hockey. I don't know. Like,
have you, did you watch any clips or anything
of Canada -US hockey that just happened? No,
Courtney. And how within the first minute there
were three fights? I've never watched a hockey
clip on purpose. Well, we were watching the game.
I know you were. My favorite, Back to the Future
released. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Live Aid charity concert.
Love to hear it. The wreckage of the Titanic
is finally located. You know, this is the thing.
They probably, I kind of low -key wish they wouldn't
have found it. Then rich people wouldn't implode.
It's just with the freaking PlayStation controller!
I think it was a logitech. PlayStation might
have gotten them where they were going, you know?
I like PlayStation. Um, no, listen, it's just
I get that it's like a special interest topic.
It's interesting. Yeah, but it's like become
too much like just leave it alone Like the reason
everybody fucking dies is like we have to stop
bothering these ghosts Yeah, leave them alone.
Yeah, leave Titanic alone. Ghost ship. Yeah,
leave ghost ship alone. Honestly, I don't get
some maggot beans The fact that that's the scene
that you still reference every time is just...
I think it really fucked me up. I think it did
too. You talk about it so much and it was like
15 seconds. I know, but it just... I was show
shocked. Show shocked. Super Mario Brothers video
game is released for Nintendo Entertainment System.
Got it. Speaking of, Commodore launched the Amiga
personal computer at the Lincoln Center in New
York City. Whoa. Commodore computers. Yeah. Yep.
Do you want to know some the Oscar winners, the
big hitters? Tell me all the Oscars. The actor,
the movie Amadeus. It's about, um, it's, it's
inspired by a play about Mozart. Okay. And the
guy's name is F. Murray Abraham. Amadeus Mozart.
He played. Yes. Okay. We got his first name.
That I knew. Did not. Okay. I knew him as Mozart.
Well, So that he won for that so I was reading
this list wrong my bad Sally Field won for Best
Actress for Places in the Heart Okay, never seen
it, but I know who Sally Field is Best Picture
was also on the dais apparently it was a bitchin
movie. You should watch it. I should I will sure
yeah sure I'll do it report back. Yeah Well,
I can tell you some sports highlights. It's on
my little listicle. Okay, okay? The Stanley Cup.
Yeah, why don't you want to guess in 1985? Yeah
It was a Canadian team. Is it the Canucks? Is
it the Maple Leafs? Is it the... The letter E.
Oh, I'm just like... I have arthritis. It's a
bad arthritis day. I don't know. Edmonton Oilers.
NBA championships or champion was the Lakers.
So I think this was like Magic Johnson was on
the team. I was like, Cabron! They had their
heyday. Super Bowl winners were the San Francisco
49ers. Cool. And the MLB World Series was the
Kansas City Royals. Have you ever been? Have
you ever been? Those are not the lyrics at all.
Royal is? Yeah, just that one word. You got it.
Popular TV shows. Okay. 60 minutes. Oh, new show.
Yeah, that ticking clock. You know, that's like
copyrighted. Like you cannot use that. Really?
Yeah, just that ticking clock. nice i mean i'm
not surprised but i guess i would have never
thought yeah i copyrighted a clock yeah fuck
everyone uh family ties murder she wrote i love
murder she wrote you did grandma oh fun the cosby
show Look, I watched it a lot. My mom, it was
one of her favorite shows. You know, my mom mostly
grew up in the 80s. That was her heyday. And
she loved the Cosby show. So we watched it together.
She showed it to me. We had like all the VHS
tapes for like the season. I'm sure. Watch the
show. Look, it was a great show. Yeah. And it
did a lot. It made a lot of great strides. It
was a great show. I will say I've tried to rewatch
it since you know, knowing because like sometimes
and I'm I feel like I'm pretty good at separating
artists from art. Right. You know what I mean?
Like and I it's fine if people can't. That's
that's a personal thing. Like you can if you're
not OK with it that and you don't want to listen
to them or watch them anymore. I totally get
it. Right. Some some things I'm better at separating
just for me. Yeah. This was I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it. As soon as you watched him,
you're like. And it's like the episode that I
tried to watch, I don't remember exactly which
one it was, but most of the scenes were like
he wasn't in them. So it was just like the sisters
and they're all talking. And I was like getting
really into it. And then he'd walk in and I'd
be like, Oh God, just like him walking into a
room full of women. Yuck. I couldn't do it. I
could not separate artists from art in that scenario.
So I don't think I'll ever be able to watch it
again. Last one was Cheers. I never watched Cheers.
I watched Cheers with my grandma a lot. Yeah.
What about Mash? When did that come out? That
was, that's old. I tried to, I tried to watch
it. And as soon as that song came on, I started
crying. And I'm like, wow, I'm just gonna think
of grandma. Yeah. Because she would, in her room,
like, so she would always go to bed at like 11
o 'clock at night. That was her thing. Woke up
at seven o 'clock in the morning. That was her
thing. Yeah. In her bedroom, she didn't have
a TV, but she had one of those like Compact DVD
players. Yeah with the screen. Yeah, and she
would put on mash So whenever she went to bed,
I would hear it. Yeah, so like that just it just
it's like a visceral memory Yeah, and like as
soon as I put it on cuz like it's on a streaming
service. I'm like, oh mash Yeah, and I just first
note tear. Yeah, I remember my meanwhile had
a lot of big opinions about Cheers Which is probably
why I remember it like she really loved Ted Danson.
He played the main bartender um she liked christy
alley uh her character and then there was another
cool now right she's dead as hell who am i thinking
of no she she had some some controversies she
had some big controversies before she died was
it more recent it has semi -recent within the
last couple years at least um but yeah she had
a lot of a lot of controversies but her character
and her character was fun um But then there was
like another female character, I feel like her
name might have been Bonnie or something, I don't
remember, who also has like a romantic thing
with Ted Danson. And I just remember my meemaw
hated that one, like the character, not the woman,
like, I don't know. But she had a lot of big
opinions, and she hated her. And she would just
talk the most shit about this character. And
it was wonderful. I can tell you so many people
on days of our lives that were just like, dead
to us. Marlena. And John Black, for example.
Fuck them. Fuck them. We hated them. We also
hated Hope Brady. Controversial opinion. She
was like the protagonist. I watched. It was like
every day we had to watch Days of Our Lives and
Passions. Every single day. I watched... What's
the... It's the bee. Bold and Beautiful. Bold
and Beautiful. Thank you. You're welcome. She
didn't like that one. She didn't like almost
any of the others. I think she watched them occasionally,
but it was Days of Our Lives and it was Passions.
And I could tell you so much. Like more than
I ever want to know. about Days of Our Lives.
Did you know that Bold and Beautiful is still
running to this day? Days of Our Lives is still
running. And I'm pretty sure Bold and Beautiful
started in 1987. All these soap operas have been
running since like forever, and they will run
every single day since 1987. Except for in 2020.
Yep. Crazy stuff. Because they had to stop filming.
Crazy stuff. Yeah. in that wild it is honestly
it's it's impressive like how say what you want
about them but it's impressive yeah and people
talk shit about Grey's Anatomy yeah it needs
to end yeah i've been saying that for a very
long as someone who watched Grey's Anatomy often
i have a lot of shows so fucking over it like
i haven't watched the last like three seasons
i have a lot of shows that i really really love
that i Either one of my biggest complaints about
them will be it's gone on too long. And this
is the thing about it I love it. I don't want
it to end but the storylines get stupid Yeah,
and it just it goes on too long like the thing
that makes something great. How many more people
can die? You got to stop it at some point like
you can't keep doing this and it just ends up
being regurgitated of the same shit That's why
I'm really excited that you is ending. That's
one of my favorite shows of the last 10 years
season. That's it I loved it and I it's one of
my favorite shows probably of the last 10 years
and But I'm like, it's going on too long. I think
it should have ended very differently season
three. That's what I think. That's when they
had the baby. Yeah, that's when they were like
living in suburbia. Okay, I didn't watch that
one. It's a great season. It's honestly probably
the best. I watched the first one and the one
with love. Yeah, well love is is in the third
one. I know, but like the So you watched the
first and the second season? Yes. So I didn't
love the second season, but it was okay. I loved
the first season, obviously it was fine. I think
my favorite is the third season, but I wanted
it to end differently. And I feel like if it
would have ended the way I wanted, it could have,
the whole show could have ended then and I would
have been fine with it. Go out with some songs?
Yeah, let's go out with some songs. Fuck it.
I'm going to get up the billboard charts. Obviously
some of these might have come out not 85, but
they were, they were popping. Topped an 85. Number
one. Is my favorite song of all time. Why don't
you tell me what it is corny? Fuck why is it
Carol? Yes Sometimes I'll listen to it on a loop
and one time kind of recently I remember it was
right before we moved out of our last place I
was laying in bed and listening to that song
for a really long time and Justin came in and
he was like, honey It's been an hour. You've
been playing Careless Whisper. Are you okay?
I was like, no, just a few more times. Like a
Virgin by Madonna. Kissed for the very first
time. Yep. Also by Wham. Wake Me Up Before You
Go Go. Wake me up before you go go. I Wanna Know
What Love Is. I wanna know what love is. Yep,
that's by Foreigner. I'm skipping a few here.
Take On Me. Take on me, take on me, take me out.
Love it. Can't Fight This Feeling by R .O. Speedwagon.
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. Yeah.
We built this city. On rock and roll. Yeah, we
built this city. I know you love this song, The
Power of Love. It's The Power of Love by Huey
Lewis. Yep, and the news. Well, obviously because
back to the future came out that will a hundred
percent be on there I listen to my like like
songs on Spotify a lot Yeah shuffle and every
time that comes on I just like stupid smile my
face because it just makes me so happy It's just
one of my happy songs. It's a good song. Yeah,
it's a good song I I don't blame it speaking
of because of movies. Don't you forget about
me by simple minds breakfast club Forget about
me. You know, I've never watched a movie. You
have to. It's so good. I can't. It's not like
I don't want to. I know. You haven't, you didn't
seek it out. I understand. But you should. Maybe
we'll watch it together. Maybe. I love it. I
mean, I only know about it because of Pitch Perfect.
I mean, that's okay. The Miami Vice theme song
is on here. Okay. Way to go. Let me try to find
one more. Way to go. Oh, Summer of 69 by Bryan
Adams. I got my first real six string. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love that song. Like too much. It's kind
of ridiculous. Hey, thanks for listening to 30
Dirty and Dying, the show for millennials by
millennials. We get real about chronic illness,
burnout, nostalgia, and why we aren't exactly
thriving. If that sounds like you, join us every
Thursday for new episodes. Now back to the show.
All right, so we're playing Would You Rather
30 something a dish. And this is a mishmash.
Some of these are going to be good things. Mishmash,
pishpash. Yep. Some of these are going to be
good things. Some of these are going to be oh
my god things. Some of them are just dumb. I
don't know. Okay. I just you know, we're just
rolling with it. Yeah, chaos. I tried to think
of things that would for the bad ones things
that really hit hard now that we're in our 30s
okay that like might not have bothered us if
it happened when we were like 18 okay but 30
okay speaking of first one would you rather go
to i have an outing like a game a concert something
like that with no chairs or would you rather
go to an outing with no semi -clean bathroom
that you can get to easily no chairs no bathroom
this is very different especially because you
have the crones Yeah, but I can hold it pretty
well. Well, that's good for you So when you say
semi clean, is it just a dirty bathroom? I'm
talking I still use it I'm talking it's filthy
like it's gross You could use it then I'm gonna
say I'd rather have a stinky bathroom than no
chairs Okay, so you I rather like I need to sit
down Okay, I cannot stand unless it's like a
short event Yeah, I feel the same way. Maybe,
but if it's like a full -on concert, I'm really
worried about Warped Tour. I would be too. I
would be so scared. I'm genuinely concerned.
That's why I was like, I got so jealous at first,
then I was like, you know what, I wouldn't live
through that. I couldn't do that. I never was.
I never went. You couldn't have lived through
it. You can't right now is what I'm saying. Well,
that's why I got VIP because it has the air conditioned
space. Good. Because I'm going to need it. Yeah.
I agree with you. I would rather go to an outing
where there's no bathroom. Yeah, because if I
need to shit myself, I shit myself. Yeah. If
I know that there's either no bathroom or it's
gonna be really bad, diaper. Yeah, I can plan
for that. Yeah. I can't plan for like... Standing
extended periods of time. Can I bring my own
chair? No. Then no. Yeah. Cannot. I'm with you.
I can't figure out no chairs. The amount of times...
Unless it's on the floor and I don't want to
do that with people around me. No, you don't.
Trust me, I've done it. I've been in a lot of
pits in my day and I don't even know how I did
it. I don't even know how I did it. When I saw
21 Pilots, I know that they come into the crowd.
Yeah. And I'm like, I would love to be so close
to them. Yeah. Shit my pants. Yeah. That'd be
the best day of my life. Yeah. cannot stand.
I was in a seat. No, I did the last. No, I've
been in so many pits. I don't remember them all.
I've never been. Um, the the one that I did get
to touch someone was Papa Roach. I touched Jacoby
Shaddix. I touched him. So he ran so fast. He
was like, I'm fast as fuck boy. It was so it
was impressive. Oh, yeah. All right. Next one.
Yeah. Would you rather not have enough caffeine
in a day or not have enough water? I would rather
not have water. I'm gonna have to say caffeine,
which is crazy. You'd rather go without caffeine?
Yes. Oh, okay. Because here's the thing. It fucks
me up. I get a headache. I get my, it's bad.
I drink a lot of caffeine. But I have noticed
as I've gotten older in like the last, I don't
know, three or five years, consistently or gradually,
if I don't drink enough water, I notice. Before,
it's like, I don't even remember if I ever drank
water in college. I don't remember drinking water.
I don't remember drinking water ever. Okay As
I like I I was not I mean I drank some water
but like I don't really I didn't make it a priority
No, and it didn't matter. I never felt different
now It's like if I go like two days where I don't
drink a decent amount of water It's like hey,
you're about to get a UTI so fucking fast. I
feel it So it's and I hate that feeling so I
would rather not have enough caffeine body is
used to not having water because like even growing
up like we didn't drink water like grandma drank
Dr. Pepper all day every day. Okay, never. I
mean, we drank water. We sort of buying bottled
water when everybody else did. Anytime I drink
water sink when I was like, I want to say like,
toward the 2010s is when the bottled water stuff
started really to happen. I don't really know,
though. I can't pinpoint that. But still, I mean,
we drank water, but we didn't drink like a fuck
ton of it. I just started to notice as I got
older, I drank more water. And when I didn't,
it's noticeable. It has effects on my body now
that it never had when I was younger. No, fuck
water. I'd rather not drink water. Well, mine's
opposite. All right. Would you rather have to
make a phone call or oh, no, or have to figure
out how to text someone on Excel like Kelly Rollin?
I don't remember writing this. I'd rather text
someone on Excel. Me too, I can figure that out.
Yeah, easy peasy. I've been pretending to know
how to use Excel my entire adult life. Oh, I
took an Excel class. Oh, not me. Yeah. I took
the class of life. I actually am pretty good
at Excel. I can figure anything out. I pull reports
like there's no tomorrow. Okay, Kelly Rowland,
fuck you up. Yeah, ooh, calls, no thanks. No,
I would, no. I don't even want to die on 9 -1
-1 myself. One per day, please. All right, here
might be a good one. Would you rather have a
Lunchables all -star hamburger or hot dog meal?
Remember the hamburgers and hot dogs? Yeah, I
never chose those. I did Well, well then maybe
it's a bad one for you wouldn't go from for me
I guess in my current state. Yes hot dog or no
hamburger you'd rather have the hamburger because
Skins hot dogs fuck you up. Yeah, I would rather
pick the hot dog. Yeah, I mean would I rather
have a wiener? Yes, but for my my tum -tum. Yeah
I remember getting the hot dog ones a lot. Like
I would ask for those specifically. I really
loved them. Now I feel like they wouldn't be
as appealing. No. But you know, whatever. I'd
still rather take a chance. Because how are you
gonna eat them cold? Yeah, that's what you did.
You took them to lunch cold. No. Just like the
pizzas. That's fine. Because we eat cold pizza.
You've never eaten a cold hot dog? No. You could
just eat a hot dog. Like a Vienna sausage? Yeah.
We used to eat those all the time. The answer
is no, I've never had a Vienna sausage. When
I was like a little kid, I ate so many Vienna
sausages. I guess there's no difference between
that and bologna. I ate a lot of bologna also.
Sardines. I love bologna. Have you ate Snoop
Dogg's bologna? Oh, no, you don't eat meat. Not
anymore. I'm saying where I was younger. Can
you do a bologna? Like fake bologna? Do they
have that? Yeah. Do Snoop Dogg's bologna sandwich
with your fake bologna. All right. We'll look
it up. It was bomb diggity. Although I would
use half the amount of meat because I'm not a
big meat person either like I like meat But too
much of it gives me the ick. All right. This
is a three three way. Oh There are three choices
here. Okay, would you rather have to listen to
someone talk for an hour straight about? How
your trauma made you stronger how they only eat
food for nourishment Or how they cured their
chronic illness by like snorting essential oils
or something the first one how your trauma made
you stronger Because if someone talks to me about
being healthy shut the fuck up. Yeah, so I was
how I feel like don't don't Tell me yeah, how
to be healthy. Yeah, I know I'm fat I know how
to do it But like like I just I don't even care
what I eat as long as I eat my boiled chicken
And I could eat that every day cuz it's just
for nourishment. Listen, that's great for you,
Becky. That's so cool. Shut up It's so great
for you, you shouldn't have to tell me about
it, you know I think I'm gonna pick - I hate
the trauma made you stronger thing though, because
I have so much trauma. Trauma made me funny.
Yeah, but it didn't make me stronger. I think
I'd rather listen to somebody about - Yeah, just
because like I've gotten really good at tuning
that out. Yeah, I'm not saying look if you like
essential oils, that's fine But don't tell me
that you can like cure cancer with them or you
can like cure your Crohn's with them Or you can
like don't tell me that if you want to huff lavender,
that's fine. I love lavender. I love lavender
I've never seen lavender in real life though.
Really? Yeah, I don't think so. Huh, but I like
the scent I also like the taste so like I have
lavender syrup. Oh, yeah Starbucks they have
the Oh yeah, they did have the I remember seeing
that on the menu. But I love me a lavender latte
lavender matcha. So good. Lavender lemonade.
Oh, yeah. But I feel like I could tune somebody
out pretty well with that. I feel like that one's
probably I don't care about my drama. It's fine.
I'll talk about it. All right. This is another
this was another maybe good one. Okay. Would
you rather bring back MySpace or bring back Vine?
Fuck. Yep. Vine. I'm gonna go MySpace. Would
so rather bring back my space cuz I'd like to
have one properly. I didn't get to have one I
just have to fuck with my friends. There's a
it's called face space I know but I want I want
and I created it. I have one. I want the classic
vibes, you know Maybe you can't log into. Well,
no, you can create a new account. Yeah, but I
don't know. I just I just would like to way back
machine. I think I want to create a new account
and just because I know it's music is the main
thing for my space. Oh, is it now? Yeah. So I'm
curious of what it is. OK, maybe we should we
create a 30 dirty and dying my space page? Should
we do it? Maybe. Maybe. Oh, let me create. Do
some research. Do some research. I don't know
what it's like. Would you rather have heartburn
or have neck pain? Realities I live with every
day. So I've never had heartburn. Fuck you. Fuck
you. And I actually woke up with such a bad,
like, my neck has been bothering me for three
days. My neck has been bothering me for three
years. Because, like, I just slept on it wrong.
Like, I literally, like, had to move my whole
body to look good. Like, Batman? Yeah. Like,
I could not move my neck. Like, merging when
I was driving. I'm like, I think I'm into an
accident. Because I can't see. This happens to
me, like, three or four times a week. So I guess
because I've never had... Heartburn I would rather
have heartburn Okay, I'm gonna say and again
that I can just take a pill and it'd be fine
But like this has been lingering for days. Yeah,
I'm gonna say I would rather have heartburn Also,
I get both a lot. I've always had indigestion.
My dad always had really bad indigestion So I
got it from him. All my bones are basically broken.
I have glass bones and paper skin. So I'm used
to everything hurting all the time and I hate
it like my whole body aches all the time like
today I could not sit up straight for a solid
couple of hours like it was bad um but I really
love alka seltzer and I take alka seltzer is
my drug of choice for my heartburn um I have
like three or four options at all times but I
love alka seltzer so if I get heartburn it's
painful I hate it I'm gonna throw up but I get
to chug me a little alky alky seltzer and that's
just like a little treat for my 30 something
ass Alright. So yeah, we agree for very different
reasons. Would you rather your chain hang low
or Superman that ho? I'd rather Superman that
ho. I'd rather my chain hang low. Do it shine
in the light? Is it platinum? Is it gold? Can
you throw it over your shoulder when you're hot
and make it cold? What? Do your chain hang low?
Is that the chain? About 24 inches and I know
why that didn't hang. Probably the cold because
of ice. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Iceman Paul Wall,
remember with the grills? Because, you know,
I hope he's doing good. Would you rather have
to wear a pair of super low -rise Y2K jeans?
Never, absolutely not the second thing. Or wear
bootcut jeans with cuffs that have gotten wet
in the rain? Bootcut jeans that have gotten wet.
Agreed. I will never, never, never go back. Nope.
Absolutely not. We will not go back to low -rise.
Fuck that. My fat is hanging out. That is not
cute. No. Absolutely not. I couldn't do it then.
No, I didn't do it then either. I couldn't do
it then. I just wore regular pants. Yeah, I bought
the highest -waisted ones I could find. Which
were normal. I bought, like, mom jeans from Old
Navy. Yeah, just regular. And they were almost
always boot -cut. I did have skinny jeans, don't
get me wrong. Yeah. But... Mine wore boot -cut
until, like, later in life. Really? Yeah, like,
I wore boot -cut... Until like high school. I
wore bootcut like in the early 2000s like in
like elementary and early middle school And then
I went you know emo kid non -conforming as can
be and I wore skinny jeans pretty exclusively
And then when I got to high school it was like
a mixture, but I still kind of always preferred
if I'm being honest Bootcut jeans. I always thought
they looked better on me I just like them and
I was used to them getting wet but man the combo
of Wet bootcut jeans and wet uggs I can still
feel it yeah and i hate it so that would be hard
see might cause some slosh pants i love that
that was good okay but yeah boot or yeah boot
cut wet wet boot cuts yep agreed agreed would
you rather have to go hiking or go to a crowded
dance club full of 20 year olds hiking no i'm
picking the dance club absolutely you don't have
to dance I've been to several of these. And you
don't have to hike a mountain. You can hike something
flat. I don't like to be outdoors. I'd rather
be indoors. I'd walk. It's fine. No, I'd rather
be as long as it's not hot. And it's shaded.
See, I don't I don't like the outdoors. So I'm
gonna I'd rather be indoors. You never get harmed.
Would you rather he buy you a drink or buy you
some cheese fries? Cheese fries. Yeah, agreed.
Back in the day, I would have probably said drank.
Yeah, I would have said drank wished for cheese
fries inside. But you can't say that out loud
because diet culture. Yeah, cheese fries, extra
cheese, no bacon. But I don't know I could go
for margarita. Nah. I love a Marg. You know,
I realized though, I don't I don't know. I didn't
pay for my own drinks very much. I never humble
brag. I never went out. I did. I had I went to
the bar for like the first time with Mike. That's
hilarious. I had like boyfriends, though. Like,
so that's why I didn't. It wasn't just like random
guys. It was like I went with people. Yeah. Usually
like people that I was actually with. So it was
expected. But yeah, cheese fries, I would have
preferred. At a certain point, I remember I started
asking for pretzels. More than I started asking
for drinks. Yeah, that's when I knew I was getting
older. Would you rather have to online date again
or have to cite an essay properly again? Cite
an essay properly. I think I would rather online
date just to catfish. I just want to have the
experience. I'm sorry if you've ever been personally
victimized by a catfish. And apparently a lot
of you fucking have. And they still do. Yeah.
Because catfish is still a shit. Yeah. Neve is
still raking it in. He got into a very bad. I
know but he's okay. Yeah, he's doing okay Yeah,
that was scary like broke his back. Yeah, it
was bad neck. I I think it was his neck, but
it was like crazy spot He's like walking around
now. Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, he's like fine. Yeah,
which is great I mean, it's like a miracle. That's
fantastic. He's kids. You know, it's good that
he's you know, fine. Yeah But yeah, I I would
rather I'd like to catfish Not seriously, I wouldn't
drag you along for years. I mean, maybe I guess
things get out of hand quick. Okay, let's let
me ask a question. Yeah, sure. Clarifying question
for this online dating. Do I actually have to
go on the dates? I'm not planning to. I can just
talk to people and have attention? Yeah, I guess
you could. Then I'd rather do that. Okay. I don't
want to cite an essay anymore. I want to I'd
love to write. I don't want to write an essay.
If someone gives me an essay to cite, I'll do
that. I see. I'm not writing the essay. Flip
it and reverse it. I would write an essay right
now. I don't want to cite it. I don't like doing
that. I'll cite the sources. I can, but I don't
want to. No. I don't want to like actually date
men. No. I'm going to be like, oh man, my car
broke down and then I got shot. Can't make it.
My block. No one's ever getting my number. No.
Absolutely not. No. Google numbers all day long.
Thanks for listening to 30 dirty and dying. We
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that you need to keep up with your favorite Millennial
podcast. Now, let's get back to the show. Would
you rather dive dysentery or not make it across
the river? What do you mean not make it across
the river? Remember the river crossings? You'd
have to either cock the wagon, forge the river,
or wait for the ferry and pay five dollars? The
fact that you remember that specifically. I played
Oregon Trail a lot. I was super into it. So will
I throw up with dysentery? Yeah. Then I would
rather drown. If I was guaranteed not to throw
up and it was just like shit shit You're shitting
your pants, but I can't promise you you won't
throw up if you can't promise me I won't throw
up then I'm going to drown. Okay. Okay. That
sounds like a threat Okay, I'll talk to my therapist
about this if you should Friday, can you call
me in on this? I just like to listen just like
dial me and just be like I'll be real quiet.
I just want to listen I'm gonna do the opposite
because i remember i'd rather die of dysentery
um i when i would drown crossing the river in
oregon trail when i would like not make it i
would get so mad i remember just being furious
every time so i yeah see here's the thing like
i would if i didn't throw up and it was just
tummy like Diarrhea is and dehydration and then
I die. Let me just see. I'll double check for
you. I live that life. I know you do, you know,
so like if it's just dysentery poops, sure. Okay.
Pain areas in the abdomen. Okay. Already have
that symptoms. Blood in stool, diarrhea, indigestion,
nausea, vomiting. Oh, no. Gone. Yeah. Done. Yep.
Drown. So Yeah, I'm picking the opposite because
again, I just remember how mad I would get when,
you know, don't ever try to forge the river.
It never works. You know, and sometimes it's
like you think cocking the wagon is going to
do it and then you just tip right over and you'll
be so close. I would see. I'm still mad. Would
you rather have all of your neopets die or have
one Tamagotchi die? One Tamagotchi. I agree.
Because then you can just redo it. I would get
really - But then you'd have to create a new
Neopet, and that's too much work. Yeah, I would
get really attached to my Tamagotchi, so it is
hard. But I would get more attached to my Neopets.
I was a Neopets bitch. I loved Ne -o -bia. Is
that what it was called? I don't know. I'm gonna
go home and log in. Okay. Would you rather -
Forget to set an alarm. I've done that. Continue.
I did it this week. Would you rather forget to
set an alarm or would you rather have to get
gas in the morning that you should have gotten
last night? I did that this morning. Oh, look
at us. Just fucking up our whole lives. Get gas
in the morning. I would rather forget to set
an alarm. No, because like the chances of me
being super late because the alarm versus a little
bit late because of the gas. I just I really
hate having to get gas in the morning. Like it's
it's It's really annoying to me. So I think I'd
rather just like take the L and forget to set
my alarm. Would you rather wake up with fully
gray hair or wake up with very deep crow's feet?
Gray hair. I think so too. I would love to go
silver gray. Yeah, you've said that before. Yeah.
I think it would look really good. I think it
would look really good with your the way you're
doing your hair now. It would look really good.
Although today's bad hair day. I think your hair
looks great. Well, thank you. I think it was
really good. I didn't like it. It looks wonderful.
I'm trying different things. I thought it looked
great. I think I'm gonna try I'm trying some
new things to not this isn't a great example.
I just got out of the shower before you got here.
But when I've been doing my hair, I've been doing
some different things. I think I'm going to try
to get my curls back. I used to have really curly
hair when I was a kid. And then I don't know
society. Swoop bang, you get it. I straighten
my hair to death. I put chemicals in it because
I wanted it to be straight. And I want it to
be curly again. So I'm going to look at some
stuff. All you have to do with what I'm looking
at right now. One, don't brush it. I know. But
use a curl cream and diffuse it and you'll have
curls easy. You won't have to do a whole lot.
I'm just going to get a couple different products
that are geared towards it just so I can try
to like all my bases. But in general, that's
basically it. But yeah, I think I'm gonna try
to get my curls back. It's a journey and I'm
on it. Would you rather have a calcium deficiency
or an iron deficiency? I'm already iron deficient,
that's fine. I'm pretty sure I have both. Um,
I guess calcium just because I'm so used to my
bones busted up. I'm used to being tired. Yeah.
So it's fine. I got some, I got some new iron
supplements to try. Iron supplements hurt my
stomach so bad. I bet they, I got sublingual
liquids. You just put them on your tongue. Yeah,
my mom is big on the vitamins. My poop turned
black and I was in pain. That's, no. No, that's
bad. Yeah. That's real bad. Yeah. That's dead
bad. Okay, would you rather pull an all -nighter,
sober, and then have to go to work? I'm just
making a point that you are sober. This isn't
to party. Or would you rather wake up with a
terrible hangover and then go to work? Oh, pull
an all -nighter. I think I'd rather do the hangover.
I know these streets. I don't. I haven't had
to do it in a long time and my hangovers are
worse now, but I can do this. I've never been
hungover. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. To me when
you say that it's the same energy as like the,
I only eat food for nourishment. I love my plain
ass chicken. It's so good. When you say I've
never been hungover, I just want to hit you in
the face. I love you so much, but I do. Sorry.
It's alright. We had different lives. Yeah, we
did. Would you rather hang with... What's the
lemur's name? Zubumafoo? Zubumafoo. I always
mispronounce it. Or Wishbone. Wishbone? Yeah.
I love literature. Well, I thought it was history.
I love both. Literature and history. I feel like
I would probably learn more from Wishbone. I
mean, for sure. Yeah. But also he's a smaller
dog, so I'm okay with that. Oh, yeah, because
you don't really like dogs. I love dogs. If it
was a fucking Great Dane, absolutely not. Give
me some moves. You mean the dog that you have?
He's not a Great Dane. He's something. He doesn't
have Dane in him. Are you sure? Yeah, positive.
I can tell you who he is. Wow. That's crazy.
I was sure he did. This one I'm going to have
to have you take a trip in your mind back in
time to simpler days. Okay. Would you rather
drop your phone in the middle of class and have
the battery fly out? Remember that? Yes. Or would
you rather have a portable CD player that skips
the entire bus ride home? I guess the phone.
It's momentary. It's momentary. I can fix it
quickly. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing,
but if I can't listen to my music the whole way
home. Yeah. Nah, yeah, I think I'd rather have
my phone. I agree with you. It's like I'll take
that L. Yeah, it's fine But I need to be able
to listen to my happy ending by Avril Lavigne
All right, would you rather have to file your
taxes with no help or? Write a cover letter and
copy your resume into individual sections I have
not applied to jobs if they request a hundred
percent same I When you say do my taxes myself?
Yeah Turbo tax no no help. Oh See, this is where
I as much as I hate the job stuff I guess I'd
have to do the job stuff because fuck up the
taxes so hard you call me Wesley Snipes I am
going to jail like I can't even do simple math
if I can't do it's like even turbo tax or some
type of no where Then I'm a hundred percent.
I'm just gonna have to fucking write a cover
letter. I guess yep and re -enter. Oh, I hate
it I mean, I just copy and paste. It's just so
infuriating. Yeah, I hate it so much. Yeah. Jobs
need to stop doing that. They really do. Guys,
listen, stop it. If you, if it's, it's, it should
be either or. Yep. Upload or put in this information.
Yeah. Not both. Yeah. Alright, last one. Would
you rather eat food for dinner? You know is gonna
give you an upset stomach. I ate Taco Bell yesterday.
Yep, so I get a quesadilla today. Or have drinks
you know will give you a headache. Tummy probes.
Same. Because I already have it. Yeah. Yeah,
same. It's gonna happen no matter what. And also,
like, when I get it, I'll get a migraine. Yeah.
And that could take me out for days. That's you
know, like I mean, I could take medicine, whatever,
but sometimes it doesn't work. Depends on like
that could be way more of a problem. Yeah, for
me. I feel like I'm just so used to stomach pain
that I don't give a fuck. I agree with you 100%.
Me too. Like it just is my life. Yep. And I'm
going to like I have this disease forever. Yeah,
I can't not eat the foods that I want. What are
you going to do? You know, so if I know someone's
going to hurt my tum tum, I'll you know what?
I'll eat that wiener. yeah well and it's different
than like so like justin is celiac right that's
different his reactions are different now if
i was gonna have an allergic reaction absolutely
i mean it's not allergic reaction it's it's gastrointestinal
but it's It's just different. It's a different
level than what I'm at. It's very painful. Like
he's in a lot of pain when it happens. So it's
like, it's not the same as just shitting your
pants. I just poop twice a day. Instead of once,
two or three times. Oh man, I've always had a
sensitive stomach, but it's just normal for me.
And although I'm medicated, it helps. Yeah, well
I'm not. I don't know if I have Crohn's. I might.
Maybe. But it's not like... It's nothing out
of the ordinary for me yet. Yeah, I've always
had kind of a sensitive stomach It is what it
is. So I'm fine with that. I'll do it right now
Well, this was fun Yeah, I had a good time. A
lot of conversation about being a 30ish, dirtyish,
and dyingish. So I hope you guys enjoyed it.
You play along. Ask your friends, your fellow
30s these questions. Your fellow 30s. And if
you'd like us to do this again and you have other
questions in mind that you think we should have
asked, let us know. You can comment directly
on Spotify. You can send us a DM. You can comment
on our posts about the episode on Instagram and
TikTok. And we will... Keep those in mind and
maybe maybe do another one of these. Yeah, I
love would you rather I do too. They're fun.
It's a fun game So it makes you think it does
it does. Well, we hope you guys have had some
great thinking and We'll catch you next time