WEBVTT 00:00:10.760 --> 00:00:13.259 Hey, what's going on everybody? I'm Courtney. 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:16.320 Hello, I'm Courtney. and welcome back to our 00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:18.899 channel it's 30 dirty and dying yep you're listening 00:00:18.899 --> 00:00:21.420 to a podcast right now maybe you're here on purpose 00:00:21.420 --> 00:00:23.620 maybe you click this shit on accident but either 00:00:23.620 --> 00:00:26.920 way welcome you're starting off strong i'm ready 00:00:26.920 --> 00:00:28.879 to start off strong well this is an episode about 00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:31.980 dying and we're 30 and dirty and dying yep every 00:00:31.980 --> 00:00:33.600 episode is about dying a little bit but this 00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:36.219 episode is really about inside we're always dying 00:00:36.219 --> 00:00:38.719 a little bit yep that's why we started the podcast 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:42.299 yeah yep so i'm chorissa i'm corny Let's fucking 00:00:42.299 --> 00:00:45.759 get it started hot. Let's get it started hot. 00:00:45.939 --> 00:00:48.899 Let's get it started in here. Come on. Come on. 00:00:48.979 --> 00:00:51.759 I don't know. Okay. We're doing dumb ways to 00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:55.520 die. So today, um, we're gonna die live on the 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:59.719 air. Bye. Courtney, this was, you really, um, 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:02.219 came up with some of the framework for this episode 00:01:02.219 --> 00:01:04.939 that I completely ignored, but what do you mean? 00:01:05.900 --> 00:01:08.299 You said you had an idea about like you came 00:01:08.299 --> 00:01:10.439 up with like thousand ways to die and those connections. 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:13.760 My only thought. Yeah. I had one single singular 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:16.620 thought cell in my head. I had none. I looked 00:01:16.620 --> 00:01:19.959 up the show thousand ways to die. And fun fact, 00:01:19.980 --> 00:01:22.340 I figured out that it was canceled because like 00:01:22.340 --> 00:01:26.159 the actors and like the writers went on strike 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:28.780 and they just stopped it. It's an acceptable 00:01:28.780 --> 00:01:32.219 loss. Look, I watched it, but it wasn't that 00:01:32.219 --> 00:01:34.590 fucking great of a show. I watched it. every 00:01:34.590 --> 00:01:36.909 time it was on TV. I don't think I did that. 00:01:37.670 --> 00:01:39.769 But I can see how when you're coming back from 00:01:39.769 --> 00:01:41.689 something like a strike and just being like, 00:01:41.870 --> 00:01:44.609 nah, fucking forget it done. Yeah. Like if you 00:01:44.609 --> 00:01:46.090 were doing a project at home and you were like, 00:01:46.090 --> 00:01:48.049 I got to give up one of the final death on the 00:01:48.049 --> 00:01:52.090 show. There's yikes. The show's death the thousandth 00:01:52.090 --> 00:01:55.209 way. Anyways, I figured I would just reminisce. 00:01:55.290 --> 00:01:57.430 Yeah, on the episodes of 1000 ways to die. I 00:01:57.430 --> 00:02:00.069 have like 20 that I wrote down of like funny, 00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:04.390 funny. Yeah. Dying is not funny. Okay, part of 00:02:04.390 --> 00:02:06.189 what we do on this show though, and we always 00:02:06.189 --> 00:02:09.069 we try to do an episode every season or every 00:02:09.069 --> 00:02:11.389 seasons a lot of what we do given the name is 00:02:11.389 --> 00:02:13.430 like we're trying to destigmatize the conversations 00:02:13.430 --> 00:02:16.610 around aging and death and and and make it less 00:02:16.610 --> 00:02:20.069 Taboo to like get older to talk about just like 00:02:20.069 --> 00:02:21.990 hey, we all die at the end of this Let's stop 00:02:21.990 --> 00:02:24.530 pretending that we don't so a lot of times the 00:02:24.530 --> 00:02:26.150 way we do that though, especially when it comes 00:02:26.150 --> 00:02:29.800 to death is jokes comedy like dark humor about 00:02:29.800 --> 00:02:32.180 it. So this is just one of those examples, like 00:02:32.180 --> 00:02:33.659 we're trying to destigmatize the conversation 00:02:33.659 --> 00:02:36.759 around death. But we're also just having a good 00:02:36.759 --> 00:02:39.060 time and trying to find ways to laugh at the 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:41.680 inevitable. And we're all gonna die. Yeah, not 00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:43.879 take ourselves too seriously. Because this is 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:46.379 just one of those things that is I mean, we all 00:02:46.379 --> 00:02:48.680 got to eat and we're all gonna die. True that. 00:02:49.780 --> 00:02:53.759 But really quick disclaimer, if for some reason 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:58.419 you are the Family member to the people who died 00:02:58.419 --> 00:03:00.520 the way that Courtney's about to say or like 00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:02.360 I took a little bit of a different spin on it 00:03:02.360 --> 00:03:05.479 But like anything that we say if some I almost 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:08.120 said if you or someone you know died Well, you 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:11.620 wouldn't be listening shout out ghosts No, if 00:03:11.620 --> 00:03:13.379 someone you know died this like we're not making 00:03:13.379 --> 00:03:16.460 fun of your loved one. No, we're making fun of 00:03:16.460 --> 00:03:19.419 ourselves more than anything about, like, how 00:03:19.419 --> 00:03:22.039 this shit could happen to us or, like, how terrible 00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:24.539 we could be at dying. See, so when I, like, picked 00:03:24.539 --> 00:03:26.879 them, I tried not to pick the ones that, like, 00:03:27.060 --> 00:03:29.780 made sense. Yeah. I tried to pick the ones that 00:03:29.780 --> 00:03:33.740 were, like, either funny or, like, wild. Yeah. 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:35.479 And so, like, what I did was I have a few that 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:37.180 I remember from the show. Basically what I tried 00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:39.259 to do with those and then with just things that 00:03:39.259 --> 00:03:41.539 I came up with from other, like, crazy death 00:03:41.539 --> 00:03:45.840 scenes or... content that I have favorite death 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:48.419 scenes from movies. Yeah, I took some stuff from 00:03:48.419 --> 00:03:50.020 Final Destination movies because those deaths 00:03:50.020 --> 00:03:52.840 are always like wild great. And I just sort of 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.539 was like pulling the thread of this isn't the 00:03:55.539 --> 00:03:58.080 overall theme, but it was kind of became what 00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:00.139 are some ways that I'm maybe I could probably 00:04:00.139 --> 00:04:02.199 die that stupid because I'm an idiot. So like, 00:04:02.539 --> 00:04:05.599 if for some reason, anything that one of us says 00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:08.219 or that I say is like the way that someone you 00:04:08.219 --> 00:04:10.219 love died, I'm not making fun of them. Absolutely 00:04:10.219 --> 00:04:12.419 not. I'm making fun of myself. So that's what 00:04:12.419 --> 00:04:14.930 we're doing. but first we gotta go back in time 00:04:14.930 --> 00:04:19.069 before we go really far forward or not even that 00:04:19.069 --> 00:04:21.290 far who knows that's the funny thing about death 00:04:21.290 --> 00:04:34.360 it just happens yep back in time all right Back 00:04:34.360 --> 00:04:36.779 in time. All right. Yeah, we're in 2008, which 00:04:36.779 --> 00:04:39.600 is when a thousand ways to die aired Yep, so 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:41.680 I guess we can we can say some TV shows. Yes, 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.699 you got them True blood know the vampire show 00:04:45.699 --> 00:04:47.399 never watched really the year of the vampire 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:49.000 because we all know Twilight came out You don't 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.300 need to talk about it again. Yeah, we talked 00:04:51.300 --> 00:04:53.860 about it a lot. It's my fault guys the 90210 00:04:53.860 --> 00:04:58.259 reboot, okay The Secret Life of the American 00:04:58.259 --> 00:05:02.060 Teenager. Oh my god. We fully relived that several 00:05:02.060 --> 00:05:04.079 seasons ago. Go check it out. It's one of my 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:05.660 favorite episodes. I listen to it all the time. 00:05:05.720 --> 00:05:08.120 It's so bad. I mean, our episode was fucking 00:05:08.120 --> 00:05:10.120 good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The episode was great. 00:05:10.259 --> 00:05:11.720 The show was terrible. The show was awful. Ghost 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:15.279 Adventures. Oh shit, Ghost Adventures? Zach Baggins. 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:17.959 Oh man, I love the TikToks where people like 00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:20.319 pretend to be him. It's so funny. I've seen a 00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:22.790 lot. Ben 10, Alien Force. I never watched it. 00:05:22.790 --> 00:05:24.189 I don't think I did either but like I know what 00:05:24.189 --> 00:05:26.449 it is. I was starting to like get out of that 00:05:26.449 --> 00:05:29.269 phase I think. Yeah, Suite Life on Deck. I did 00:05:29.269 --> 00:05:32.029 watch that. Several Real Housewives franchises. 00:05:32.069 --> 00:05:34.389 I never watched those. My meemaw really liked 00:05:34.389 --> 00:05:37.529 them. She liked New York and New Jersey. I was 00:05:37.529 --> 00:05:40.310 never into like the reality TV shows. I was into 00:05:40.310 --> 00:05:42.230 some. That was never my bag. It's theatrical. 00:05:42.410 --> 00:05:44.649 It's not my favorite. The Mentalist, Wipeout. 00:05:45.050 --> 00:05:46.970 Oh shit, Wipeout? Yeah, where they bounce on 00:05:46.970 --> 00:05:50.310 those balls. Yeah. Between two ferns with Zach 00:05:50.310 --> 00:05:52.449 Galifianakis. He does those interviews. 2008? 00:05:52.730 --> 00:05:58.430 Yeah. You should be off -putting. Celebrity family 00:05:58.430 --> 00:06:00.629 feud. Oh god, there was something called Two 00:06:00.629 --> 00:06:03.269 Girls, One Cup, The Show. Oh, I'm like, I've 00:06:03.269 --> 00:06:05.110 watched Two Girls, One Cup. Yeah, no, we all 00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:07.829 did. We all got assaulted with that shit. The 00:06:07.829 --> 00:06:11.910 Show? They made a show. No fucking, you're shitty 00:06:11.910 --> 00:06:14.069 my dick right now. Okay, I'll just read you the 00:06:14.069 --> 00:06:16.149 whole thing. Two Girls, One Cup, colon, The Show. 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:19.259 tv series 2008 based on the infamous internet 00:06:19.259 --> 00:06:22.060 video the series of shorts following the adventures 00:06:22.060 --> 00:06:24.899 of a cup living with two girls and sherman oaks 00:06:24.899 --> 00:06:28.600 did not go well i literally have no words two 00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:30.519 episodes one cup those were some shows a lot 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:34.279 of shows um so i was just checking out my facebook 00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:36.800 because i think i got a facebook in 2007 oh yeah 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:39.000 i didn't have a facebook yet um now if we could 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:42.399 open quizilla or um secret my space that i use 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:46.920 for my friends then maybe by a .m We can blow 00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:49.319 the sucker wide open but I cannot contribute 00:06:49.319 --> 00:06:52.720 I got Guitar Hero World Tour. Fuck yeah. That's 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:54.899 my post. I just said got Guitar Hero World Tour. 00:06:55.139 --> 00:06:56.980 That's enough. To explanation marks. I love to 00:06:56.980 --> 00:06:59.720 hear it. Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's 00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:03.259 so lame. It was it was the the feeling or the 00:07:03.259 --> 00:07:06.759 the season of Courtney is blank. Yeah, because 00:07:06.759 --> 00:07:08.860 the Facebook status is used to be and they still 00:07:08.860 --> 00:07:10.680 were like this when I got a Facebook Yeah, years 00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:13.139 later you it was like a math lab You filled in 00:07:13.139 --> 00:07:15.319 the blank right Clarissa is Courtney is and then 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:17.879 you you said whatever I wrote is feeling sick 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:21.379 dot dot dot still sad face Oh is working tonight 00:07:21.379 --> 00:07:23.240 blah I'm surprised you didn't give everybody 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:26.120 your entire fucking schedule is bored with a 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:29.839 lot of O's is chillin wit my homies home skillet 00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:35.990 biscuit is jamming is jamming Oh me and my when 00:07:35.990 --> 00:07:38.370 you had your movie theater polo movie theater 00:07:38.370 --> 00:07:42.410 polo. Yep, is Chalaxin. Oh, what a word. What 00:07:42.410 --> 00:07:46.910 a word. Yeah. Oh my god. So I'm assuming you're 00:07:46.910 --> 00:07:48.350 at a football game in this beautiful picture 00:07:48.350 --> 00:07:49.769 that you're gonna have to send me so we can put 00:07:49.769 --> 00:07:52.610 it on the Instagram. Yes, I was okay. It was 00:07:52.610 --> 00:07:55.629 homecoming. Oh, I've you know, my first round 00:07:55.629 --> 00:07:57.610 of Facebook pictures again, a couple years later, 00:07:58.069 --> 00:08:00.490 were from the homecoming game at my school. And 00:08:00.490 --> 00:08:02.410 it was the only football game I ever went to. 00:08:02.439 --> 00:08:05.699 was the homecoming game my freshman year. I let 00:08:05.699 --> 00:08:07.319 somebody draw on my face, but it wasn't like 00:08:07.319 --> 00:08:09.360 the foot. It wasn't like the battle lines. It 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:12.079 was just like, yeah, is doing homework, then 00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:15.319 work from six to 12. Text it. Yeah, you always 00:08:15.319 --> 00:08:17.560 gave your schedule out. It's so wonder you didn't. 00:08:17.579 --> 00:08:19.439 Dumb ways to die. It's a wonder you didn't get 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:22.319 murdered. Yeah, well, whatever. Yeah, I love 00:08:22.319 --> 00:08:24.500 that picture of me. Your little arms. I know 00:08:24.500 --> 00:08:26.240 I had such little arms. I thought I was so fat 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.779 in this picture. Fuck me. That was my whole vibe 00:08:28.779 --> 00:08:31.600 in 2008. Is doing laundry and all that jazz. 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:35.580 All that jazz. And then my first ever post in 00:08:35.580 --> 00:08:38.220 2008 was just a picture of me and I said, I like 00:08:38.220 --> 00:08:40.820 this one. I like it. It's cute. Yeah. Your hair 00:08:40.820 --> 00:08:43.360 was very brown. I mean, I used to dye it. To 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:48.100 be brown? Multiple colors. Oh. I loved this picture. 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:51.879 It's a cute picture with a scarf. A scarf and 00:08:51.879 --> 00:08:54.419 a Santa hat and I threw that snow up, by the 00:08:54.419 --> 00:08:56.980 way. It was not snowing in that picture. Wait. 00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:00.519 You vomited? Like I threw the snow in the air. 00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:03.779 Oh. So like you could see the snow and like everything. 00:09:03.860 --> 00:09:05.320 I literally just thought that was like flash 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:07.519 from a digital camera. I didn't think that was. 00:09:07.899 --> 00:09:11.860 Oh my God. Behind the scenes 2008. You want to 00:09:11.860 --> 00:09:14.139 know some songs that were fucking popping? Yeah, 00:09:14.279 --> 00:09:17.679 pop off. Lollipop. Lollipop. Nope, that's not 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:23.500 it. I know one that I always say and I'm never 00:09:23.500 --> 00:09:27.460 going to stop fucking saying it. 303. Don't Trust 00:09:27.460 --> 00:09:38.460 Me. That was one of my... If you guys listened 00:09:38.460 --> 00:09:41.840 last week to Millennial Music Trivia Lyrics Edition, 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:45.620 one of the songs I did not get to, I had the 00:09:45.620 --> 00:09:47.580 first line, which is... Do you know the first 00:09:47.580 --> 00:09:51.820 line of Don't Trust Me? No. Black dress with 00:09:51.820 --> 00:09:54.899 the tights underneath. I got the breath of a 00:09:54.899 --> 00:09:58.259 last cigarette on my teeth and she's an actress. 00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:01.679 But she ain't got no need. She's got money from 00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:04.480 her parents in a truss on back ease. T -t -t 00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:07.179 -t -tongs. Pocket Full of Sunshine. I got a pocket. 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:09.960 I got a pocket. I got a pocket. I love E .Z .A. 00:10:10.620 --> 00:10:13.659 It's such a good movie. Closer by Neo. I don't 00:10:13.659 --> 00:10:15.399 know if I know that off the top of my head. Uh, 00:10:15.500 --> 00:10:18.039 No Air by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown. I loved 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:20.240 that song. I'm supposed to breathe with no air. 00:10:20.740 --> 00:10:24.639 That's the only part I think I know though. Love 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:29.340 in this club. Love in this club. Ush. Yeah. Ush 00:10:29.340 --> 00:10:31.759 ush. That was, this is like the year of Homecoming. 00:10:31.899 --> 00:10:34.379 Yeah, I remember a lot of the like, this was 00:10:34.379 --> 00:10:36.340 this was a big year for the pop culture and I 00:10:36.340 --> 00:10:39.700 was like fully in it as a teen. Viva La Vida 00:10:39.700 --> 00:10:46.279 from Coldplay. I used to rule the world and I 00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:51.000 gave the world now in the morning I sleep alone. 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:55.259 Yep. Yep. That's all I got. Amelie. Amelie, Amelie, 00:10:55.299 --> 00:10:58.279 Amelie, Amelie, Amelie, Amelie, Amelie, Amelie. 00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:02.679 Yep. Yep. Good call. Good call. Miss Independent 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:06.240 by Neo. Big year for Neo. Neo was really going 00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:10.740 places. Neo go places. fall for you by secondhand 00:11:10.740 --> 00:11:13.759 serenade you know that song now yeah well when 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.899 you said neo go places i was thinking of like 00:11:16.899 --> 00:11:23.779 hot to go but n -e -y -o -g -e -o neo maybe we 00:11:23.779 --> 00:11:27.379 don't do that okay yeah womanizer britney speed 00:11:27.379 --> 00:11:31.519 womanizer womanizer you're a womanizer babe used 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:35.549 to you i'm used to you right woman as a woman 00:11:35.549 --> 00:11:38.889 as a woman as a boy you tried to front I know 00:11:38.889 --> 00:11:41.110 just just what you are. She's doing the choreography. 00:11:41.649 --> 00:11:45.710 I know just just what you are. You! You! Courtney's 00:11:45.710 --> 00:11:48.769 doing choreography. Just dance. I love that game. 00:11:49.370 --> 00:11:51.409 Well, in my life in 2008, I can tell you said 00:11:51.409 --> 00:11:53.029 a little bit about your life, how to look out 00:11:53.029 --> 00:11:57.429 of mine. I was full blown emo. My favorite pair 00:11:57.429 --> 00:12:00.809 of pants was a pair of dark purple skinny jeans. 00:12:02.349 --> 00:12:06.110 I too had a pair of dark purple skinny jeans 00:12:06.110 --> 00:12:10.250 because Bob said his favorite color was purple. 00:12:10.370 --> 00:12:11.509 I'm surprised you didn't paint your whole fucking 00:12:11.509 --> 00:12:14.490 body. And I said, I need to wear things that 00:12:14.490 --> 00:12:17.809 are purple. So I went to Oh, fuck, what's that 00:12:17.809 --> 00:12:20.870 store? I got mine from I believe they came from 00:12:20.870 --> 00:12:25.049 Delia's. Oh, see, I didn't not Delia's. It was 00:12:25.049 --> 00:12:28.500 Delia's still around. Not forever 21. What's 00:12:28.500 --> 00:12:30.940 the Rue21? Yes, thank you. I got a lot of my 00:12:30.940 --> 00:12:32.220 clothes there as well. What's the cheap Forever 00:12:32.220 --> 00:12:34.360 21? That's the one I went to too. Rue21. Yep. 00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:38.340 Was Delia still around? I don't think so. Then 00:12:38.340 --> 00:12:40.860 why do I feel like I got them? I remember I went 00:12:40.860 --> 00:12:43.379 to Delia's once and I got my favorite Zippa putty 00:12:43.379 --> 00:12:45.399 that had thumb holes. I never went to the store, 00:12:45.399 --> 00:12:48.139 but we would get the we will get the catalog 00:12:48.139 --> 00:12:51.899 for me. Let me see. As a retail store, they went 00:12:51.899 --> 00:12:54.559 out in 2015 is when they went to Funk. So they 00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:56.059 might have still been around because I really 00:12:56.059 --> 00:12:59.360 feel like Yeah to the early 2010s. They were 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:01.179 an independent retailer and direct marketer. 00:13:01.179 --> 00:13:04.860 So in 2007 2008 I was probably still able to 00:13:04.860 --> 00:13:07.899 get the catalogs and I had a pair of purple skinny 00:13:07.899 --> 00:13:12.440 jeans I also had a pair of sequined black Chuck 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:15.500 Taylors. Yes. I also had a pair of white ones 00:13:15.500 --> 00:13:17.399 with multicolored stars all over them that I 00:13:17.399 --> 00:13:20.340 fucking still wish I had I wore arm socks a lot 00:13:20.850 --> 00:13:24.470 And gloves. I never did. Yep, I did. I had a 00:13:24.470 --> 00:13:26.590 bang that really wasn't a bang. I just parted 00:13:26.590 --> 00:13:29.190 my hair stupid like Amy. I didn't have the bang. 00:13:29.190 --> 00:13:30.769 I didn't have the bang. I never had bangs. But 00:13:30.769 --> 00:13:33.149 I parted my hair like Amy Juergens entered the 00:13:33.149 --> 00:13:36.309 chat, you know. Um, I started wearing thicker 00:13:36.309 --> 00:13:38.450 and thick rimmed glasses for the first time. 00:13:38.529 --> 00:13:40.269 Because before that, my mom wanted me to wear 00:13:40.269 --> 00:13:41.990 glasses that looked like I wasn't wearing glasses 00:13:41.990 --> 00:13:43.990 and I hated them. She didn't want me to have 00:13:43.990 --> 00:13:45.429 to wear glasses. And I was like, this is all 00:13:45.429 --> 00:13:47.370 I've ever wanted. So if she didn't want you to 00:13:47.370 --> 00:13:50.129 wear glasses, then just contacts. Oh, no, I couldn't 00:13:50.129 --> 00:13:53.620 do that. uh she tried um okay i would i couldn't 00:13:53.620 --> 00:13:57.179 put him in she took me for a consult a consult 00:13:57.179 --> 00:13:59.360 for lasik when i was a teenager which i did not 00:13:59.360 --> 00:14:01.940 want i was like i i don't want lasik and the 00:14:01.940 --> 00:14:04.440 guy went to and but she made me go because she 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.059 was like you should you shouldn't wear glasses 00:14:06.059 --> 00:14:08.279 and your eyes are really bad and i don't know 00:14:08.279 --> 00:14:11.080 so the guy went to put like the dye in my eye 00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:14.059 yeah and i kept jumping off the chair because 00:14:14.059 --> 00:14:16.120 i didn't want them to touch my eyes. I don't 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.440 like that. And then he was like, okay, I feel 00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:20.799 like because you're having a really hard time 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:23.399 with this, I know you might want to get LASIK, 00:14:23.460 --> 00:14:25.279 but I don't know that you're a great candy. And 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:27.419 I went, I don't want it. She wants me to get 00:14:27.419 --> 00:14:30.379 I fully just like mutiny on my mother in that 00:14:30.379 --> 00:14:32.059 moment. I was like, I don't want LASIK. She wants 00:14:32.059 --> 00:14:34.100 me to get it. She made me come here. I don't 00:14:34.100 --> 00:14:39.720 want to do this. Yeah, so get out. But yeah, 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:42.649 I was full blown emo. My binder had Twilight 00:14:42.649 --> 00:14:46.230 all over it because Twilight came out. Should 00:14:46.230 --> 00:14:50.009 we go out with movies? Yeah. Wall -E. Wall -E. 00:14:50.710 --> 00:14:53.070 Taken. I have a very particular set of skills. 00:14:53.649 --> 00:14:58.889 Mama Mia. Here I go again. Dark Knight. Okay. 00:14:59.330 --> 00:15:03.470 Iron Man. Yes. Here's your shit. Hulk also. Okay. 00:15:03.750 --> 00:15:06.210 Yep. There it is. Step brothers. Do we just become 00:15:06.210 --> 00:15:08.990 best friends? Yeah, all this is because I started 00:15:08.990 --> 00:15:11.389 working at the movie theater. Yeah. So all this 00:15:11.389 --> 00:15:14.610 I'm like, Yep. Yep. Yep. The strangers that terrible 00:15:14.610 --> 00:15:17.389 fucking movie that the the you have the masks. 00:15:17.750 --> 00:15:20.429 Yeah. Pineapple Express. Oh shit. I had a poster 00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:22.629 of that. I'm sure you did. That makes perfect 00:15:22.629 --> 00:15:28.169 sense actually. Um, Ponyo. Okay. Little fishy 00:15:28.169 --> 00:15:31.769 fish. Yeah. Madagascar escape to Africa. Secret 00:15:31.769 --> 00:15:36.580 life of bees. Bees. Bees. not the bees angus 00:15:36.580 --> 00:15:39.279 thongs and perfect snogging what a way to go 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.460 what a way to go you're listening to 30 dirty 00:15:41.460 --> 00:15:43.759 and dying where we might not be flirty or thriving 00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:46.460 but we're 30 and trying keep listening and check 00:15:46.460 --> 00:15:49.600 out all our episodes on life love death and more 00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:52.740 um so like we said at the top we're gonna just 00:15:52.740 --> 00:15:54.919 talk about dumb ways to die and we both interpreted 00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:57.919 that different ways some based heavily on media 00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:01.039 from the 2000s So Courtney, why don't you kick 00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:03.080 us off because you really hit the thousand ways 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:08.080 to die thing. What I really liked are the titles 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:12.279 of these deaths that really got me. So this one's 00:16:12.279 --> 00:16:16.419 called Love Bugged. Is it an STD? No. So it's 00:16:16.419 --> 00:16:19.059 bitten by his pet black widow spider, Elvira, 00:16:19.500 --> 00:16:22.080 and killed by neurotoxin when it gave him a heart 00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:26.940 attack. One would say, why is that dumb? Because 00:16:26.940 --> 00:16:28.820 one, you had a fucking pet spider. I was gonna 00:16:28.820 --> 00:16:30.600 say this is entirely your fault for having a 00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:32.899 pet black widow spider. Right. Right. That's 00:16:32.899 --> 00:16:36.320 your fault. Yep. That's like, oh my god, I fell 00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:39.320 on my collection of anthrax. Why do you have 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:42.080 a collection of anthrax? I just think anyone 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:45.639 who has like - Poisonous animals? Is dumb. Yeah, 00:16:45.700 --> 00:16:49.179 it's like, dude, don't do this. No. It's the 00:16:49.179 --> 00:16:51.120 same, I feel the same way about people who have 00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:53.789 like, like tigers and shit. That should be illegal. 00:16:54.210 --> 00:16:57.289 It is for a lot of us. But like, I will use this 00:16:57.289 --> 00:17:00.269 as a jumping off point. Okay. A way that I would 00:17:00.269 --> 00:17:03.970 probably die that's pretty dumb is getting mauled 00:17:03.970 --> 00:17:07.150 by a wild animal I'm trying to befriend because 00:17:07.150 --> 00:17:09.150 that would happen. Because they look so cuddly. 00:17:09.289 --> 00:17:11.069 And I believe - Like you just want to cuddle 00:17:11.069 --> 00:17:15.150 the big kitty. I believe fully in my heart, white 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:19.589 woman logic, that I could make any animal love 00:17:19.589 --> 00:17:21.670 me and that I know that I am just full of love 00:17:21.670 --> 00:17:24.680 for the animal. And I don't want to hurt them, 00:17:24.740 --> 00:17:27.400 and I just want to love them. And I feel that 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.099 they feel my love. And maybe they do, but they 00:17:30.099 --> 00:17:32.319 still might kill me. And I'm kind of fine with 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:35.460 it. So, would it be a dumb way to die? Yes. Would 00:17:35.460 --> 00:17:38.420 I be okay with it? Also, yes. Go on. Okay, so 00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:43.680 this one's called Wet Dream. Died of a heatstroke 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:47.700 after putting on a latex fish fetish suit. Don't 00:17:47.700 --> 00:17:51.529 do that asleep! Be awake! Where you can keep 00:17:51.529 --> 00:17:53.829 track of your fucking - Didn't say he was sleeping. 00:17:54.410 --> 00:17:56.690 Well, you said wet dream. I assume dream meant 00:17:56.690 --> 00:17:59.269 he fell asleep. No, it just died of a heat stroke 00:17:59.269 --> 00:18:01.769 after putting on a latex fish fetish suit in 00:18:01.769 --> 00:18:04.450 extremely hot weather. Well, I don't know. Maybe 00:18:04.450 --> 00:18:06.910 just keep track of your fucking temperature. 00:18:07.289 --> 00:18:09.009 You know, I'm getting overheated. I know I need 00:18:09.009 --> 00:18:10.809 to turn the AC on. I need to sit down. I need 00:18:10.809 --> 00:18:15.210 to cool it. Take off the suit. Yeah. Maybe you're 00:18:15.210 --> 00:18:17.769 about to finish, but you can finish later. And 00:18:17.769 --> 00:18:20.450 honestly, and this is where it's gonna get controversial, 00:18:20.670 --> 00:18:23.029 if you need to be wearing a fish suit to finish, 00:18:23.569 --> 00:18:27.190 look, we all have our things. That's too far. 00:18:27.390 --> 00:18:30.089 You need to see someone. Well, like, is the dick 00:18:30.089 --> 00:18:31.869 out? I don't know, but this is what I'm saying. 00:18:32.009 --> 00:18:33.609 Some of these people who have, like, really specific 00:18:33.609 --> 00:18:36.609 things and they absolutely cannot function sexually 00:18:36.609 --> 00:18:39.279 without these things. I understand if they make 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.599 it better for you like everybody has things in 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:43.279 there like this is way better this is way hotter 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:45.920 but if you can't do it if you're not in your 00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:50.259 fish closet that's a problem you know like you 00:18:50.259 --> 00:18:52.660 need to see someone you need help see in my mind 00:18:52.660 --> 00:18:54.900 because like I didn't like look these up I can 00:18:54.900 --> 00:18:57.660 tell what do you mean just because it's just 00:18:57.660 --> 00:19:00.259 you're just naming you're saying the synopsis 00:19:00.259 --> 00:19:03.230 correct yeah it's fine it like some of them if 00:19:03.230 --> 00:19:04.430 i know if you would have looked them up you would 00:19:04.430 --> 00:19:05.750 have been giving me hard details because i know 00:19:05.750 --> 00:19:08.309 how you research is what i'm saying so it's fine 00:19:08.309 --> 00:19:10.170 i'm i'm totally fine with the way this is going 00:19:10.170 --> 00:19:12.809 yeah well that was my point yeah like i wanted 00:19:12.809 --> 00:19:14.990 to just look them up and we would talk about 00:19:14.990 --> 00:19:17.289 yeah i'm totally okay with that yeah but when 00:19:17.289 --> 00:19:20.130 i was reading it i had a like i was trying to 00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:24.299 imagine Yeah, the latex fish suit. So what I 00:19:24.299 --> 00:19:27.240 was imagining was in American Horror Story season 00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:31.079 one with gills and like fins. Do you know what 00:19:31.079 --> 00:19:34.779 I'm picturing? What? My cat has a goldfish costume. 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:39.000 It's not latex. It's just fabric. It looks like 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:41.759 a kid's like Halloween costume, but it's a goldfish. 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:45.559 But latex. I don't know if I have anything that 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.220 remotely relates to that. Okay, here's one that 00:19:48.220 --> 00:19:52.309 not really. It's a sex one though that is from 00:19:52.309 --> 00:19:54.529 thousand ways to die. I remember I don't remember 00:19:54.529 --> 00:19:56.849 the episode or anything But I remember that might 00:19:56.849 --> 00:19:59.589 have on this list general story. I called it 00:19:59.589 --> 00:20:02.900 carrot dildo So what I did not put this on this 00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:04.819 okay So what I remember about this episode is 00:20:04.819 --> 00:20:07.319 this woman and they kept calling her a nymphomaniac 00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:11.099 which feels sexist um But that she was having 00:20:11.099 --> 00:20:13.619 friends over and she was grocery shopping for 00:20:13.619 --> 00:20:15.920 her friends to come over But she saw this big 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.640 old carrot so she bought the carrot purely for 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:21.299 the purpose of using it as a sex toy Yep But 00:20:21.299 --> 00:20:23.740 here's the thing she didn't peel it and carrot 00:20:23.740 --> 00:20:26.160 skin is rough and tumble and she didn't clean 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:28.440 it good enough So there's dirt. There's bacteria 00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:30.990 and she didn't put a condom on it Either because 00:20:30.990 --> 00:20:32.930 why would you well? I don't know I can think 00:20:32.930 --> 00:20:34.490 of a lot of ways that this wouldn't have had 00:20:34.490 --> 00:20:37.369 to kill you But she put the carrot in her and 00:20:37.369 --> 00:20:41.109 it went fine, but then the carrot the rough dirty 00:20:41.109 --> 00:20:46.349 carrot skin cut her inside and It went straight 00:20:46.349 --> 00:20:48.289 into her bloodstream and died that night or something 00:20:48.289 --> 00:20:50.190 like that. I don't know I've never forgotten 00:20:50.190 --> 00:20:54.609 that so for those listening If you're going to 00:20:54.609 --> 00:20:58.170 use a carrot either peel it no just don't use 00:20:58.170 --> 00:21:01.220 make sure you clean it well and Listen, don't 00:21:01.220 --> 00:21:04.819 don't use don't use when when people say like 00:21:04.819 --> 00:21:06.599 food play. I really don't think this is what 00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:07.680 they're talking about. I think they're just talking 00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.279 about whipped cream on your body, you know? Yeah, 00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:12.299 we're nacho cheese or something. That's right. 00:21:12.680 --> 00:21:15.700 But that's, you know, let's move on before we 00:21:15.700 --> 00:21:17.819 get too in depth and have to flag this episode. 00:21:18.339 --> 00:21:21.200 Okay, it's this is called me so hornet. See, 00:21:21.380 --> 00:21:22.940 I thought it was gonna be something about miso 00:21:22.940 --> 00:21:25.480 soup, and then you just pivot. And it's - okay, 00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:28.079 so it's stung to death by hornets after shooting 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.480 their nest with a paintball gun. Okay, well fucking 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:33.299 fi - I mean, you invaded their house. They should 00:21:33.299 --> 00:21:36.660 be mad. Yes. And if it's - if their hornet's 00:21:36.660 --> 00:21:40.019 nest is invading your space, call a professional. 00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:42.460 Yeah, that's all it should be. But with a paintball 00:21:42.460 --> 00:21:45.619 gun? At no point when I was getting swarmed by 00:21:45.619 --> 00:21:47.440 hornets in my own home did I think man I wish 00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:49.880 I had a paintball gun. I bet that would do it 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:56.240 to him Maybe he thought the paint will like go 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:58.839 over their bodies and make them like die. Yeah. 00:21:59.079 --> 00:22:02.150 Well Um, so I guess the only one that would be 00:22:02.150 --> 00:22:04.549 close to that for me that I have on my list here 00:22:04.549 --> 00:22:08.009 is sometimes I worry that I could die by eating 00:22:08.009 --> 00:22:10.910 too many Benadryl. Allergies, bees. Oh, okay, 00:22:10.970 --> 00:22:14.230 okay. I take a lot of Benadryl. I've built up 00:22:14.230 --> 00:22:17.930 an inhuman tolerance over the years, but I take 00:22:17.930 --> 00:22:19.410 a lot of Benadryl to live because I'm allergic 00:22:19.410 --> 00:22:21.329 to animals and I have animals and I'd rather 00:22:21.329 --> 00:22:23.589 die than not have animals, you know? I get that. 00:22:24.750 --> 00:22:27.089 Speaking of dying. Yeah, but sometimes I take 00:22:27.089 --> 00:22:30.220 a lot. And I'm like, man, if I OD, this is gonna 00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:32.140 be the most embarrassing shit in the world. You 00:22:32.140 --> 00:22:34.400 know, I would hate to go out like that. Benadryl? 00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:37.279 Speaking of OD. Okay, hit me. I like that we 00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:40.660 have a good flow going. So this guy died of a 00:22:40.660 --> 00:22:44.500 heart attack after himself, his wife, and his 00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:47.940 mistress all put three different Viagra pills 00:22:47.940 --> 00:22:51.839 into his drink. You have to communicate. Communication 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:54.339 is so important in relationships, honestly. It 00:22:54.339 --> 00:22:58.900 was Diagra. I hope that marketing guy got a job 00:22:58.900 --> 00:23:01.960 after they said goodbye to the show. You have 00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:04.859 to communicate. This sex is so dangerous. I have 00:23:04.859 --> 00:23:07.240 a lot of sex related things. Most of them, I 00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:09.079 feel like most of the ones I remember, which 00:23:09.079 --> 00:23:12.900 I only have one more from the show, were sex 00:23:12.900 --> 00:23:16.019 related. But like you have, was this a threesome 00:23:16.019 --> 00:23:18.910 situation do we know or was it? Didn't research 00:23:18.910 --> 00:23:21.529 I'm assuming if it were all at the same time 00:23:21.529 --> 00:23:24.009 like if that's why he like died because he had 00:23:24.009 --> 00:23:27.130 three Viagra Yeah, he was probably like threesome 00:23:27.130 --> 00:23:29.490 with like my wife and my mistress like this I 00:23:29.490 --> 00:23:31.970 gotta be hard for this and then the wife's just 00:23:31.970 --> 00:23:34.309 like You've got to be hard. You've got to be 00:23:34.309 --> 00:23:36.069 hard for this and the mistress is like you've 00:23:36.069 --> 00:23:40.049 got to be hard for this As I'm I'm picturing 00:23:40.049 --> 00:23:42.109 in a different way. I'm picturing it as this 00:23:42.109 --> 00:23:43.890 guy is cheating on his wife He has a miss because 00:23:43.890 --> 00:23:46.309 for them to call her mistress. I'm thinking wife 00:23:46.309 --> 00:23:48.509 doesn't know You know what I mean? Okay. Because 00:23:48.509 --> 00:23:51.710 otherwise, it's a thrup. Right. And so I'm thinking, 00:23:52.069 --> 00:23:55.049 Guy is like, I'm gonna go see my mistress. Doesn't 00:23:55.049 --> 00:23:57.690 take a Viagra because he's attracted to the hot 00:23:57.690 --> 00:23:59.730 young thing. But the mistress is like, you're 00:23:59.730 --> 00:24:02.690 not doing it for me granddad. So she gives him 00:24:02.690 --> 00:24:06.130 a Viagra. They bang it out, right? He gets home. 00:24:06.230 --> 00:24:08.829 He gets home. So he takes a Viagra because some 00:24:08.829 --> 00:24:12.589 dudes, it's harder for them to reboot. So like 00:24:12.589 --> 00:24:16.190 he takes a Viagra on his own and his wife Unbeknownst 00:24:16.190 --> 00:24:19.529 about the the affair is like he's never hard 00:24:19.529 --> 00:24:21.950 I really need to get some tonight gives him a 00:24:21.950 --> 00:24:24.470 Viagra in his beef stew So he's taking a Viagra 00:24:24.470 --> 00:24:27.009 on the way home. He just had a Viagra at Wendy's 00:24:27.009 --> 00:24:29.410 house He's going his wife is giving him a Viagra. 00:24:29.450 --> 00:24:31.369 That's what I think. I think it's I like that 00:24:31.369 --> 00:24:33.150 one Yeah, I think that makes more sense. Yeah, 00:24:33.609 --> 00:24:36.029 I mean I love the idea of them just ODing him 00:24:36.029 --> 00:24:38.769 on Viagra I think the accident makes sense to 00:24:38.769 --> 00:24:43.089 me Do you want to hear another sex related hilarious? 00:24:43.569 --> 00:24:44.589 You know what? Yeah, you do that one. And then 00:24:44.589 --> 00:24:46.210 I'll do my last sex related one from thousand 00:24:46.210 --> 00:24:48.170 ways to die, which is also my last thousand. 00:24:48.349 --> 00:24:51.910 Okay, this one is called Ica boned. So both of 00:24:51.910 --> 00:24:55.329 them. Right. Okay. So the guy died of a heart 00:24:55.329 --> 00:24:57.329 attack because of the shock of finally having 00:24:57.329 --> 00:24:59.710 sex with his wife. And it was so great. It's 00:24:59.710 --> 00:25:01.509 so exciting. And he just couldn't handle it. 00:25:01.549 --> 00:25:04.109 So speaking of shocks, can you imagine just like 00:25:04.109 --> 00:25:05.869 having sex and having a fucking heart attack 00:25:05.869 --> 00:25:08.799 as you just like so excited? No. No, I cannot 00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:11.940 it's not that exciting. I've never once been 00:25:11.940 --> 00:25:15.359 like I'm gonna die So the last thousand ways 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:17.880 to die when I have also speaking of shock. Uh 00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:21.339 -huh. Um, I called this one cow heart you have 00:25:21.339 --> 00:25:24.200 it I have this okay I'll you'll explain it and 00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:25.900 then I'll tell you what this is fully which is 00:25:25.900 --> 00:25:27.900 what I remember So you can fill in some blanks 00:25:27.900 --> 00:25:30.539 here probably um So what I remember was this 00:25:30.539 --> 00:25:32.500 guy was working in some place where they had 00:25:32.500 --> 00:25:36.980 like experiments going or like They had animals 00:25:36.980 --> 00:25:43.059 organs and this cow heart was electrified And 00:25:43.059 --> 00:25:46.319 he decided that he should put his penis in it 00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:49.839 so he did but because there were like Electric 00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:53.180 currents weren't running through it He was electrocuted. 00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:55.960 It's hard to forget that you know, it was called 00:25:55.960 --> 00:25:59.380 heart on Love that. Love it. So accidentally 00:25:59.380 --> 00:26:01.279 electrocuted himself to death while having sex 00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:03.859 with a cow's heart as it was attached to a car 00:26:03.859 --> 00:26:07.099 battery Okay Yeah, if I remember correctly, it 00:26:07.099 --> 00:26:09.059 was like he was working somewhere and they had 00:26:09.059 --> 00:26:13.240 like stuff like this and he just I just understand 00:26:13.240 --> 00:26:17.720 human beings and he probably attached it to the 00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:20.519 car battery to make it feel alive. So it's like 00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:22.660 fucking a live organ. I don't think that's right. 00:26:22.660 --> 00:26:24.420 I think it was something where he worked and 00:26:24.420 --> 00:26:26.640 they were doing experiments or something and 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:29.440 they had it to like for electric. Hey, hey, Greg. 00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:31.799 Anyways, tell me another one. This one's this 00:26:31.799 --> 00:26:33.940 one's my favorite and I feel like it really resonates 00:26:33.940 --> 00:26:37.130 with us. Okay. It's called Frightmare. Died of 00:26:37.130 --> 00:26:38.910 a heart attack after being frightened by a nightmare. 00:26:38.970 --> 00:26:40.369 That would certainly happen to me. A hundred 00:26:40.369 --> 00:26:42.210 percent. That would happen to me. There's so 00:26:42.210 --> 00:26:45.710 many times where I wake up, like my heart is 00:26:45.710 --> 00:26:49.410 like pounding and I'm like, I woke up screaming. 00:26:49.589 --> 00:26:52.049 This is it. Um, just the other day I told you, 00:26:52.130 --> 00:26:55.089 I woke up, I slept like all day long. I was, 00:26:55.089 --> 00:26:57.829 I was really, really tired. And then it was like, 00:26:57.950 --> 00:27:00.509 I slept too long. You know, so then you get like 00:27:00.509 --> 00:27:03.490 a headache. Yeah feel good with headache I did 00:27:03.490 --> 00:27:05.210 wake up at one point I took my mouth guard out. 00:27:05.210 --> 00:27:07.289 So I probably was grinding my teeth I know I 00:27:07.289 --> 00:27:08.890 was snoring like even Justin was like it took 00:27:08.890 --> 00:27:12.750 me hours to go sleep and When I woke up my sinuses 00:27:12.750 --> 00:27:15.470 burned so I was I knew it it was because my sinuses 00:27:15.470 --> 00:27:19.930 dried out But I woke up when I finally did wake 00:27:19.930 --> 00:27:21.890 up. It was because I felt myself going into sleep 00:27:21.890 --> 00:27:27.029 paralysis. So I went Sometimes that's what I 00:27:27.029 --> 00:27:28.609 do. I love that you can wake yourself up from 00:27:28.609 --> 00:27:31.210 that because I cannot. I can't always. Okay, 00:27:31.289 --> 00:27:33.009 I can't always. But I think because I had been 00:27:33.009 --> 00:27:35.569 sleeping so long that I was like in a really 00:27:35.569 --> 00:27:38.809 weird place in REM sleep, I could kind of realize 00:27:38.809 --> 00:27:40.190 what was happening because I should have been 00:27:40.190 --> 00:27:42.009 awake already. You know what I mean? I wasn't 00:27:42.009 --> 00:27:44.230 fully as back to sleep yet. And it started to 00:27:44.230 --> 00:27:48.180 happen. I was like, I need to know that I literally 00:27:48.180 --> 00:27:50.839 like pop up like a jacket. No, I really want 00:27:50.839 --> 00:27:53.000 you to put a camera in your room Cuz I would 00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:55.240 love to see that. No, you don't no, you don't 00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:57.380 no, you don't no, you don't but yeah I could 00:27:57.380 --> 00:27:59.059 definitely see myself. Do you got something similar? 00:27:59.259 --> 00:28:01.220 I have a sleep. I have a sleep related one Okay, 00:28:01.420 --> 00:28:03.980 so I think the dumb way that I could die that 00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:06.359 I've been trying to avoid my whole life has been 00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:09.519 sleep driving Let me explain. I've never been 00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:13.180 a sleepwalker or anything, but my dad was a very 00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:16.119 terrible sleepwalker um when he was a kid and 00:28:16.119 --> 00:28:18.220 he's always had really bad insomnia and stuff 00:28:18.220 --> 00:28:22.099 and when i was um i don't know like maybe 12 00:28:22.099 --> 00:28:24.440 13 somewhere in that age range so he started 00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:27.119 sleepwalking again so yeah i've always been like 00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:31.880 man i hope i don't sleep drive and die because 00:28:31.880 --> 00:28:34.759 i have sleep shit too because yeah you know i 00:28:34.759 --> 00:28:38.640 i relate sleep drive all right this is called 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:43.829 m bear assed a bear mauled and eaten alive by 00:28:43.829 --> 00:28:46.410 a bear after trying to have sex with it. I already 00:28:46.410 --> 00:28:48.230 said the one I have about the wild animal. I 00:28:48.230 --> 00:28:51.490 do have one that I know there were episodes of 00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:54.470 A Thousand Ways to Die about, but I'm sure there 00:28:54.470 --> 00:28:57.150 were more than one. Fucking firecrackers, man. 00:28:57.680 --> 00:28:59.460 Oh, yeah, I saw that when I didn't put it on 00:28:59.460 --> 00:29:01.480 this. Yeah. Well, I just always thought like, 00:29:01.559 --> 00:29:04.519 man, I would hate to die of firecrackers. That's 00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:07.079 why I don't set them off. No. First of all, I 00:29:07.079 --> 00:29:08.720 don't understand the appeal of firecrackers at 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.460 all. I don't get it. Why do you want to pretend 00:29:10.460 --> 00:29:14.299 that like it's nom? I don't understand. But even 00:29:14.299 --> 00:29:17.380 if you do, even if you do. I'm not talking about 00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:18.759 people who like there's something wrong with 00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:20.259 the firework and it went off and you're not, 00:29:20.380 --> 00:29:22.259 you know, you tried to do everything safely and 00:29:22.259 --> 00:29:24.359 they fucked up. Yeah, that's not what I mean 00:29:24.359 --> 00:29:26.779 here. I mean people who are holding it idiots 00:29:26.779 --> 00:29:29.000 and you don't let fucking go. Yeah, or you like 00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.819 juggle them. And I know I dated a guy who was 00:29:31.819 --> 00:29:34.180 very like a fucking pyromaniac over these fireworks. 00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:37.339 And I was, I hated it because he would do that 00:29:37.339 --> 00:29:39.299 kind of shit. And we had to like wrestle fireworks 00:29:39.299 --> 00:29:41.299 away from him all the time. Like he just had 00:29:41.299 --> 00:29:44.180 a fucking death wish. It doesn't have to be this 00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:47.329 way. I even get nervous with sprinklers. sparklers 00:29:47.329 --> 00:29:52.130 what he said the antithesis of a firework i'm 00:29:52.130 --> 00:29:56.829 gonna irrigate myself to death honestly i'm melting 00:29:56.829 --> 00:29:59.410 i burnt my hand really bad on a sparkler when 00:29:59.410 --> 00:30:02.289 i was a kid so i don't like them either um that's 00:30:02.289 --> 00:30:05.210 what i was trying to say i know okay maybe we'll 00:30:05.210 --> 00:30:11.009 die so this is called sex ray okay died of radiation 00:30:11.009 --> 00:30:14.289 poisoning after his doctor had sex with a nurse 00:30:14.289 --> 00:30:17.539 repeated and accidentally repeatedly press the 00:30:17.539 --> 00:30:20.400 button to turn on the x -ray over his head? I 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:23.380 have one that's actually related to doctors and 00:30:23.380 --> 00:30:26.740 x -rays. Wow. Breaking a bone and not going to 00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:30.279 the doctor, which I have done, and I learned 00:30:30.279 --> 00:30:34.660 after I did it that it can like, the broken bone, 00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:37.819 it can release kind of like toxins into your 00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:41.519 bloodstream. I don't know exactly how this works 00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:45.480 and I did not research it. Like again for this, 00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:48.359 but it can be really bad like fragments of the 00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:51.559 bone And I learned that like a month after I 00:30:51.559 --> 00:30:53.920 broke my ankle and I didn't go to the doctor 00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:58.480 So hindsight's 20 -20. I fell down some stairs. 00:30:59.059 --> 00:31:04.640 I I heard my ankle just And I couldn't stand 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:07.599 up when I cuz I you know, I fall a lot I am used 00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:09.799 to just help I fall and I can't get up Yeah, 00:31:09.799 --> 00:31:12.220 I do that a lot or as I like to call it eat ass 00:31:12.519 --> 00:31:16.940 I told you that story, right? No. No? When, um, 00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:20.799 so I know the phrases eat shit. Yeah, I get that. 00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:25.920 Um, it was when we had like a family Disney trip, 00:31:26.299 --> 00:31:29.599 like with Mike and his family. Okay. Someone 00:31:29.599 --> 00:31:32.339 at like we were, someone just like fell real 00:31:32.339 --> 00:31:35.339 hard. And I looked over, I was like, wow, they 00:31:35.339 --> 00:31:41.319 ate ass. Like, what did you say? I was like, 00:31:46.740 --> 00:31:50.720 So now everyone just says you're eating ass instead 00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:55.359 of each shit influencer Yeah, no, I fall down 00:31:55.359 --> 00:32:01.140 a lot so like I was like well It was a condo 00:32:01.140 --> 00:32:03.759 that had stairs and an elevator and I took the 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:07.240 stairs should have done that Felt down the first 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:09.339 flight of stairs, crack, but I'm like, maybe 00:32:09.339 --> 00:32:11.319 that's not what I thought it was. I crack a lac 00:32:11.319 --> 00:32:13.599 all the time, could not be that bad. Went to 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:16.099 get up, absolutely just fell right back down. 00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:19.559 So I crawled into the elevator and went down 00:32:19.559 --> 00:32:21.339 to, I was going down to my car to get something. 00:32:21.740 --> 00:32:24.660 And I went down to my car and I crawled out of 00:32:24.660 --> 00:32:27.500 the elevator, out onto the street and pulled 00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:30.039 myself into my car and sat in there for like 00:32:30.039 --> 00:32:32.579 15 minutes and like just got it together. Maybe 00:32:32.579 --> 00:32:36.230 15, 20 minutes. My ankle was like... complex 00:32:36.230 --> 00:32:38.430 so swollen. It was terrible. And I was like, 00:32:38.470 --> 00:32:40.769 yeah, I fell down the stairs, but I'm so fine. 00:32:41.450 --> 00:32:42.930 That's like, I'm so cool. Just let me wrap it 00:32:42.930 --> 00:32:46.430 up. But it was broken. It was definitely fucking 00:32:46.430 --> 00:32:48.650 broken. I just didn't want to go to hospital. 00:32:48.910 --> 00:32:51.609 A few weeks later, when it it, you know, it was 00:32:51.609 --> 00:32:54.470 fine. It healed up pretty quick, but I realized 00:32:54.470 --> 00:32:56.470 that I really could have fucked myself up. So 00:32:56.470 --> 00:32:59.569 this one is Kathy accidentally choked to death 00:32:59.569 --> 00:33:04.250 on a fish. Fish. eventually died after becoming 00:33:04.250 --> 00:33:07.410 trapped inside Cathy's throat. Just like just 00:33:07.410 --> 00:33:10.150 how they had that. Amazing. Cracked me up. So 00:33:10.150 --> 00:33:12.769 she ate a live fish. She ate a live fish. Did 00:33:12.769 --> 00:33:15.710 you see that video that was like circulating 00:33:15.710 --> 00:33:18.690 of the woman who like put a fit a live fish in 00:33:18.690 --> 00:33:24.009 her vagina? And I wish I don't wish to see it. 00:33:24.109 --> 00:33:26.490 The closest thing I have to that is I'm afraid 00:33:26.490 --> 00:33:30.410 I might die eating an expired condiment. So I'm 00:33:30.410 --> 00:33:32.670 like that, but just like with everything like 00:33:32.670 --> 00:33:34.970 it doesn't matter who I'm with or where I'm at. 00:33:35.009 --> 00:33:37.329 I will check the date. That's good because I'm 00:33:37.329 --> 00:33:40.230 so afraid to get sick. I'm I will throw shit 00:33:40.230 --> 00:33:42.630 away if it's questionable if it's passive. Absolutely. 00:33:42.710 --> 00:33:44.869 I'm tossing it so hit me with your last one. 00:33:44.890 --> 00:33:49.630 I'm excited. Okay. Died of a heart attack after 00:33:49.630 --> 00:33:52.950 laughing too hard, which I felt like I was just 00:33:52.950 --> 00:33:56.210 about to do that's great And honestly, it's probably 00:33:56.210 --> 00:33:58.650 how I will die. I hope that's how you guys die 00:33:58.650 --> 00:34:01.750 I will be I will be recording this podcast with 00:34:01.750 --> 00:34:04.509 you cracking up laughing crying dead I actually 00:34:04.509 --> 00:34:06.450 put on here that this wasn't what I was gonna 00:34:06.450 --> 00:34:09.889 end with but I put on here laughing to death 00:34:09.889 --> 00:34:12.309 because of an asthma attack Sometimes when I 00:34:12.309 --> 00:34:13.909 laugh really hard like how you were just laughing 00:34:13.909 --> 00:34:17.110 really hard I throw myself into an asthma attack 00:34:17.110 --> 00:34:19.710 because my asthma is so bad and man if I can't 00:34:19.710 --> 00:34:23.030 get my inhaler giggled to death. I feel like 00:34:23.030 --> 00:34:25.469 I'm gonna have a brain aneurysm when I laugh. 00:34:26.550 --> 00:34:30.050 My head gets like so like... I don't know how 00:34:30.050 --> 00:34:32.570 to describe it. I don't know. I was about to 00:34:32.570 --> 00:34:36.150 say full. Like it's so much pressure in my head 00:34:36.150 --> 00:34:39.369 when I laugh that it starts to hurt. You may 00:34:39.369 --> 00:34:41.190 want to get that checked out. That doesn't sound 00:34:41.190 --> 00:34:43.289 correct. That also happens when I just bend down. 00:34:43.940 --> 00:34:46.360 That happens to me sometimes. Not all the time, 00:34:46.599 --> 00:34:48.619 though. Alright, well the last one I had, because 00:34:48.619 --> 00:34:50.679 I only said the asthma one because you just said 00:34:50.679 --> 00:34:56.119 that, was... I wrote it down as eating bleach. 00:34:56.579 --> 00:35:01.309 Let me explain. I do clean a lot, and I... i 00:35:01.309 --> 00:35:03.730 clean with very harsh chemicals all the time 00:35:03.730 --> 00:35:07.710 and i have no worries about i will wipe my stove 00:35:07.710 --> 00:35:10.789 down with wipes and then cook noodles immediately 00:35:10.789 --> 00:35:13.110 i just mean like immediate like i have no concern 00:35:13.110 --> 00:35:17.050 over like oh this could get in my food absolutely 00:35:17.050 --> 00:35:21.409 none i should probably so but justin hates it 00:35:21.409 --> 00:35:24.130 like there's chemicals all over everywhere like 00:35:24.130 --> 00:35:26.050 containers of cleaners and he's just he puts 00:35:26.050 --> 00:35:28.840 everything away before he cooks And I'm like, 00:35:28.940 --> 00:35:30.760 stop putting my stuff away. I need it to clean, 00:35:30.860 --> 00:35:33.039 you know, but I should probably be more concerned 00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:34.960 about it, but I'm not. And that would really 00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:37.179 be a dumb way to go. I cleaned my kitchen so 00:35:37.179 --> 00:35:41.500 hard that I poisoned myself. I mean, well, think 00:35:41.500 --> 00:35:44.599 about that one episode of My Strange Addiction 00:35:44.599 --> 00:35:46.699 who like drank a capful of bleach like every 00:35:46.699 --> 00:35:49.380 day. Yeah, she didn't die. Not right away. She 00:35:49.380 --> 00:35:51.099 didn't she didn't die from the inside out. It's 00:35:51.099 --> 00:35:53.079 not good You got if you don't don't drink bleach 00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:55.099 should probably like go back the other way a 00:35:55.099 --> 00:35:56.980 little bit I should be afraid of eating chemicals 00:35:56.980 --> 00:36:00.099 and I'm not as afraid as I should be. Yeah. Yeah, 00:36:00.099 --> 00:36:04.460 that's that's really it So like my OCD is like 00:36:04.460 --> 00:36:06.840 I have to like I wash my hands all the time But 00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:10.239 even after I clean yeah, so like if I'm using 00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:11.940 a Clorox wipe, I have to wash my hands out See, 00:36:11.940 --> 00:36:14.280 I don't do that as much as I should Like cuz 00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:17.280 I don't want to put that on my face now like 00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:19.480 the surfaces thing like I'll eat off of it I 00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:21.599 don't think about it that way. Yeah, but I think 00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:23.920 about it as I don't want this on my hands or 00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:27.420 on my face see I only think about that with like 00:36:27.420 --> 00:36:30.199 Things that I would clean up not the things that 00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:32.760 I clean up with right, you know I mean and that 00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:37.139 also goes to like like when I clean my tub Yeah, 00:36:37.460 --> 00:36:41.449 I will soak it in bleach Like I will put bleach 00:36:41.449 --> 00:36:43.510 in it and then fill it up with hot water. So 00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:45.989 it's just hot water. It's hot bleach water. I 00:36:45.989 --> 00:36:49.650 let it soak and then you get it. And then I'm 00:36:49.650 --> 00:36:52.050 like, I wash it out. Like I rinse it out for 00:36:52.050 --> 00:36:54.570 like 15 minutes, right? So you don't get any 00:36:54.570 --> 00:36:58.010 bleach on. So I don't get any. See, I don't really 00:36:58.010 --> 00:37:01.309 clean my tub with bleach, but I use chemicals 00:37:01.309 --> 00:37:03.309 and then I rinse it out and then I put bleach 00:37:03.309 --> 00:37:05.389 in it. I like sit with bleach. I love the smell 00:37:05.389 --> 00:37:08.010 of bleach. I don't mind it like in chlorine and 00:37:08.010 --> 00:37:12.769 pools. Delish. Okay. Um, the only other ones 00:37:12.769 --> 00:37:16.349 I had were ones from like, uh, final destination 00:37:16.349 --> 00:37:19.510 tanning beds. Oh yeah. Skin cancer slash getting 00:37:19.510 --> 00:37:22.530 fried, which those girls did. And was it three? 00:37:23.409 --> 00:37:25.510 I think it was three. Yeah. And then the log 00:37:25.510 --> 00:37:28.690 truck. Oh yeah. The log truck forever. I will 00:37:28.690 --> 00:37:31.250 not drive behind one. Nope. So if nothing else, 00:37:31.349 --> 00:37:34.030 our millennial childhoods really taught us a 00:37:34.030 --> 00:37:37.230 lot of the ways that we could go. Rational or 00:37:37.230 --> 00:37:40.369 not. and we hope that you've enjoyed us sharing 00:37:40.369 --> 00:37:42.750 them with you and maybe this has made you laugh 00:37:42.750 --> 00:37:45.130 a little made you rethink your cleaning strategies 00:37:45.130 --> 00:37:47.250 a little bit made you rethink using a paintball 00:37:47.250 --> 00:37:49.889 gun on a hornet's nest yeah and just made you 00:37:49.889 --> 00:37:53.230 not be too afraid to die but also be a little 00:37:53.230 --> 00:37:57.090 careful be careful make wise decisions yeah don't 00:37:57.090 --> 00:38:00.960 fuck a heart attached to some electricity. Don't 00:38:00.960 --> 00:38:02.699 do that. And I think that's a good way to end 00:38:02.699 --> 00:38:04.400 it. I do too. I hope you guys have had a great 00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:08.239 time with us destigmatizing death and being a 00:38:08.239 --> 00:38:11.099 part of 30 dirty and dying. We'll be back next 00:38:11.099 --> 00:38:14.659 week with more bitchin content. I'm Clarissa. 00:38:14.820 --> 00:38:17.599 I'm Courtney. See you on the flippity flip. Bye!