Hello! Hey, y 'all. Hey, y 'all. It's 30 Dirty
and Dying. I'm Clarissa. I'm Courtney. And this
is your favorite millennial podcast. Or it should
fucking be. Yeah, it should fucking be. Yeah.
Can you believe that we are getting toward the
end? of season six already. That's crazy. I know.
I feel like we just started podcasting yesterday.
I kind of do too. Like I feel, well, but especially
this season. Yeah. Like it's, I didn't realize
when we were planning out, like, spoiler alert
guys, we pre -record these sometimes. We're busy
bees. Yeah. Me specifically. But when I was like
doing the, okay, how many more are we going to
record this time? Blah, blah, blah. The dates,
they come out. I was like, are you fucking serious?
We're already like - Are you shitting my dick
right now? Yeah. We'll only have a couple episodes
after this. And I was like, has it already been
20 episodes this season? Wow. We're getting close.
So if there's anything else that we haven't covered
for you guys and you want to hear it, you should
tell us like literally right now. Yeah. Cause
we'll plan it. Yeah. Or it'll just happen at
the beginning of the next season. Yeah. So you
got to tell us so we can plan ahead. Cause I've
have, I've had a plan for, to have like a specific
someone on here and it just has not worked out.
Yeah. So maybe next season. Maybe next season.
I know. Time got away from us. But we hope you
guys have been enjoying this season. We've been
enjoying it. Yeah, we've been having some fun.
We've been doing some fun things. And today we're
going to do another fun thing that we've literally
been talking about since the beginning of the
season, I think. But also I feel like the Hear
Me Out cakes. Yes. Have been all over TikTok.
Although by the time this comes out, it might
have like. So it's on Instagram Reels, which
is where I am. And it's probably where a lot
of you guys are, too. I think my favorite...
So, like, the Hear Me Out cakes are meant to
be characters and people that are not supposed
to be attractive. Yeah, not conventionally. It's
not conventionally attractive. But a lot of people
are still picking, like, conventionally attractive
people and or characters. Yeah. But this one
guy put the number eight. And I'm like... But
I get it because it's like butt or boobs. Yeah.
So like. She thick. I'm just like, now that's
not conventional. And I love that for you. So
now I can only think about the number eight.
I don't remember which video this was, but somebody
put a Subway $5 foot long meatball sub. And I
was like, honestly? I mean, it got the balls.
Yeah. Or the curves. Yeah. The sauce. Sauce.
Whatever you're into, it's got it, you know?
It's not $5 anymore. No, it's like $40. If it
were $5, that would be sexy. Yeah. But now, like...
It's hot to be cheap. That's why I love Little
Caesars. It's hot and it's ready. And it's cheap.
So hear me out cakes are a big deal. So now I
did pick somewhat conventionally. Yeah, I didn't
try to be like weird and different. No, but some
I did. So we're doing sort of our own version
of a hear me out. Basically, we're just going
to go through fictional characters that we find
attractive. We've both made lists. Yeah, I feel
like the majority of mine are animated. I kind
of split it half and half. I tried to draw from
our - 90s and 2000s. Yeah. Which is what I did.
I have a couple of outliers, but mostly I tried
to think nostalgic. Yeah. So when we were having
our awakenings, if you will. I didn't really
- I didn't really. I - Okay, I was a late bloomer,
like, actually in my real life, but I remember
I was finding characters and people attractive.
Yeah, like that horse. No! I'm so sick of this
fucking spirit slander. I - Because I like Spirit,
Stallion of the Cimarron, the film, and more
so the soundtrack, you try to make it seem like
I want to fuck that horse. And I don't! I have
never found - Speaking of fucking horses, let
me add that to my list. What the fuck? No, continue
your statement. I have never found Spirit the
horse attractive, not even as a young child.
That's not why I like the movie! Stop doing this
to me! This is slanderous and a lie. Stop saying
that. Spirit is not on my list. Are you sure?
Yes! Now I'm upset. Well, you've just lied to
yourself this whole time. I've never once said
that horse was hot. Not once. You edit these
podcasts, so you could have said it, and I remember
you saying it, but then you took it out. No!
This is fucking bullshit. I'm already mad. This
is gonna be a great episode. I'm so fucking mad
at you now. Anyways, you wanna go back in time?
Yeah, let's go back in time. Back in time. Alright!
We're in 1995. It was a better time. I didn't
know you. And you couldn't slander me. I was
only four. I was only one. I have some things
that happened. I have some things that happened.
Hey, did you know the FDA created the first,
or approved, sorry, the first chickenpox vaccine?
Nice. I had chickenpox prior to that. I had chickenpox
after that. I don't think it really got rolling.
Michael Jordan announced that he was ending his
retirement from the NBA. So he came back. He
only retired for like a year and a half. And
then he came back. Faux fur and platform shoes
were some of the biggest fashion trends. Boots
with the fur, with the fur. I loved platform
shoes. Platform flip flops especially were my
fucking shit. Yeah, it was Spice Girls. Yeah.
I had so many pairs of like the thickest. cheapest
rubber platform flip -flops with the bedazzled
strappy straps oh shit okay i got a dazzling
oh yeah i love glitter you know i have the skin
of a killer and i have a pair of platform jellies
now i fucking love them i wish they made jellies
like Legit. The real ones, yeah. The real jellies.
I loved jellies. I loved jellies. But I got a
pair of platform black jellies on, like, cider,
and I fucking love them. They're in my car right
now. I wore them to a concert, and I really fucking
shouldn't have, and so I took them off on the
drive home, and I just haven't come out of the
car. Nice. I have to wear real shoes so little,
so they've just stayed in there. Yeah, you don't
have to wear shoes at home. No, I don't. I mean,
I have a pair of, like, house flip -flops, but
I rarely wear them. O .J. Simpson Trial, your
favorite? Yeah. Your favorite man, O .J. Simpson
Trial? No, shut the fuck up. See? You do this.
You have a pattern of slandering me. I'm kidding.
Mad. You know what one of the most popular films
was in terms of, like, revenue or whatever? What?
Toy Story. Oh, yeah. Yep, killing it. The Macarena
went viral. Yep. Hey, Macarena. Selena and Jerry
Garcia passed away. That's sad. You want to know
some words that came out? Or that became, I guess,
part of vernacular. Noob. Noob? Yep. In 95? Yep.
Oh, shit. Instant messaging. Oh, man. Lawyer
up. Just that term. Because of OJ Simpson? Probably,
yeah. Slacktivism. Like, activism, but not, like,
passively. Oh, like, so you're slacking about
it? Yeah. Okay. I would say I'm a slacktivist.
Uh, yeah, so it was these words all appeared
in print for the first time. So maybe they were
around, but they, um, fast casual. Okay. Livestream.
And mom jeans. I love mom jeans. I don't like
to wear jeans, but if I'm gonna wear jeans. Mom
jean. Up to my neck, dude. Give me overalls,
they're better. Uh, Brad Pitt was named People's
Sexiest Man Alive. Ooh. I get it. He was twice.
Well, he's... Once in 95 and again in 2000. Wow,
good for him. I have the cool food and beverage
trends. Okay. Yeah, so I don't know that these
came out, but this is what was popular. Blue
M &Ms. Okay. Specifically the blue ones. I gotta
fuck the other colors. Gushers. Oh, I loved it
when it gushed in my mouth. I bet you did. Rice
Krispie Treat cereal. Okay. Snap, Crackle, Pop.
Mm -hmm. We know them. We love them. Jell -O
cakes. I'm not sure I'm familiar. I don't know
about Jell -O. I know, Puddin' Pops! Gross. We
used to make Jell -O cheesecakes a lot. Like,
no -bake cheesecakes. They sell that. I mean,
I have used... So, like, I made, like, an angel
food cake, and I used Jell -O in it to flavor
it. Yeah. They had, like, a Jell -O no -bake
cheesecake, and my mom would buy that a lot and
make it. Yeah. And this was probably in, like,
the early 2000s. So, but that's the only thing
I can think of. Yeah, I don't know. A flank steak.
Okay. And the Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. Ooh,
those are good. Yeah, I like those a lot. You
know, I don't often buy those types of cookies.
Me neither. If I'm gonna buy cookies, it's usually
like Oreos. Yeah. Like an Oreo or like, um, I
have to really be in the mood for a specific
kind of cookie for me to buy a cookie. I don't
know if it's because I'm a grown -up or like...
I buy ones that, like, Justin eats and, like,
takes to work and stuff. But, like, for myself,
I don't know. I'd rather just buy cookie dough
and just, like, make cookies. Yeah, we do that
a lot. I buy a lot of, like, the, there's this,
the brand sweet Loren's. I don't know. They're
gluten -free and they don't fucking taste like
it. They taste delicious. Nice. And we buy that
cookie dough a lot and I'll bake cookies. But,
like, otherwise, that's kind of it. I'm rarely
in the mood to just eat cookies. Match .com came
out in 95. Ooh, I love that. I know you usually
do this. I feel like I'm encroaching on your
territory, but I found the grocery prices. Tell
me. Bread. Parentheses. Wonder. I bought Wonder
Bread the other day. Really? I haven't bought
it ever. Yeah, Mike. Hey, can you stop and get
white bread on the way home? Yeah. And I'm like,
if I'm gonna go white bread, I'm gonna go all
the way. Well, hey, I wonder why. You know? I
wonder why you would buy anything else. I'm just
trying to make taglines. Oh, okay. Good for you.
Was it good, as you remembered? Um, it's just
white bread. Yeah, it's fine. I don't buy white
bread a lot. Like, whenever I buy bread. We buy
the honey wheat. I'll buy, like, multigrain.
But I don't buy, like, a loaf of bread very much.
I just did because we're going to make spaghetti
and I like to make spaghetti sandwiches. But
I buy the keto bread, like the Italian one, just
so I can eat more spaghetti sandwiches and not
feel bloated. Yeah. But if I buy bread, I usually
buy, like, a loaf of sourdough or something.
Like, I don't buy a lot of just regular sliced
bread. Sourdough's the best bread. Yeah, something
like that, though, is what I'm doing. Anyways,
how much is it? Wonder Bread? 99 cents for a
loaf. Well, I'm pretty sure I spent like almost
$5. Yeah, that's about what it is. Bananas. Three
pounds for a dollar. Whoa, that's bananas. Okay,
I'll do a couple you can guess. Okay. A pack
of cookies, Chips Ahoy, for a one pound package.
This is a range, so tell me how much you think
that would be. Uh, $1 .99. Oh my god, exactly.
$1 .99 to $2 .29, depending on where you are
in taxes and shit, but yes. Eggs. How much for
a dozen? 69 cents. No. Fuck. $1 .16. Beef. How
much a pound? $5. $4 .99. $1 .49 a pound. Jesus.
That's like $12 now! I know. A pack of Ritz crackers.
99 cents. $1 .99. Fuck. Alright, we'll do one
more, one more, one more. A package of ballpark
hot dogs. A wiener! A wiener. Actually, probably
like six. $2 .99. No, way less. Oh. $0 .89. $0
.99. Fuck. Yep. Anything else for $0 .99? Drew
Barrymore, Flash, David Letterman. Ah, yes. Amazon.
Amazon. Amazon. Get in the zone. Amazon. Sold
its first book. Oh. I guess good for them. Douglas
Hofstadter's Fluid Concepts and Creative Analogies,
Computer Models of the Fundamental Mechanisms
of Thought. Okay. I wonder if that's on Kindle
Unlimited. Doubt it. Anyways, I'll do the final
thing that's honestly the most important thing
that happened in 1995, let's be real. OJ? No,
no, no, no. This is the most important thing
that happened. Okay. Pizza Hut launched its stuffed
crust pizza. Ugh, I love stuffed crust. I watched
this TikTok where this one guy, I think he works
at Papa John's, but he was making stuffed crust
pizza. Yeah. And he used, because it's essentially
mozzarella sticks that they put in it. He did
three rows of mozzarella sticks and then he put
extra cheese on top of it. And I'm like, how
can I order this right now? Don't give me his
ad. I'll blow up my whole life to try and get
with him just for the pizza. Sorry, Justin. But
you're not giving me triple stuffed crust. Yeah,
you're not stuffing my crust. Not with triple
cheese. No. I love stuffed crust pizza. It's
the best. And no one out pizzas the Hut. Not
sponsors, but it really fucking could be. We
love you, Pizza Hut. It really could be. I also
like Papa John's. It's better now. I think it's
better than Shaquille O 'Neal took over. Well,
like, so Papa John's was, like, grandma's go
-to. Yeah. So, therefore, I enjoy Papa John's.
We had it a lot when I was growing up. It was
my dad's favorite. Our family, we were Hungry
Howie's Pizza. You've said this before. We were
Hungry Howie's Pizza, and then we became Papa
John's Pizza. Yeah, because they stopped existing
here. Yeah, rest in peace. It's still alive.
Yeah, it's somewhere. Just not here. Me and them
both, you know? But, no, we, so, I don't, like,
hate. Papa John's that much, but it's just not
my favorite, but I'm very used to eating it.
Like, if it makes more sense or I have a coupon,
I will definitely get it and not hate it. I like
the Papadilla. I've not had that. But man, Pizza
Hut, if you're listening, thanks for the stuffed
crust in 95. You're the best. You da best. You
da best. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty and
Dying. We really appreciate your support, and
if you want to keep up with everything we're
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we're doing outside the show. You can get in
touch with us, find playlists that we've made,
and everything else that you need to keep up
with your favorite millennial podcast. Now, let's
get back to the show. Should we talk about our
other things we're attracted to other than Stop
Crossed Feet? First on my list of best pizza.
I didn't even think about food. Well, let's not
go there. I'm gonna fuck this pumpkin. Today,
like we said at the top, we made lists of fictional
characters that we are attracted to. Some of
them are cartoons. Some of them are real... Live
action people. Mine are mainly cartoons. Yeah.
Mine's a little bit of a split. So we're just
going to go down this list and chit chat about
it and share these deep dark secrets with all
of you. This is our hear us out, even though
they're not all like crazy. No, a lot of them
are conventionally active. So why don't you start?
I'm excited to hear yours. Okay. Goose face.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just the costume. Not. Well,
see, here's the thing. Both of them. Like, in
the first scream. Yeah. I'd fuck them. You know?
Absolutely. They're both conventionally attractive
men. Absolutely. But Ghostface with the mask.
Yeah. Even better. Choke me like you hate me.
Oh my god. Oh lord. Forgive us. Okay. Um. Okay.
How to keep talk. I agree with you, right? But
then you made me not want to. So my first one
here is the corpse bride. Okay. The actual bride.
Okay. I think she's very attractive. I would
deal with the worms. She's just hot. She's, you
know, she looks good. I love the color blue.
It's really her color. I like that I'm starting
with a female character and I at least claim
to be straight. I have a couple female characters
in here. I have several. I have mostly men. Yeah,
I have mostly men, but I also have a couple.
Yeah. And she's one that I think would probably
be one of the most hear me outs in terms of like,
not that she's unattractive, but she's a dead
drawing. Yeah. So. I mean, if we're going to
go with that, I'm like females. Yeah. She go.
On my list as well. Yeah. I'm not going like
straight down the list, but she was the first
one I put. She was the first female that I put.
Also that. I'm a big fan. She's so hot. I mean,
the color of her outfit, her skin, her hair.
I love her upper lip. It works for her. I thought
it was the lower lip. Whatever. I don't even
know because she's so hot. I can't even tell.
But then just her personality, too. She's such
a bad bitch. All around wonderful. But I also
feel like she's probably a really good girlfriend.
If she loves you. Yeah, I think so. I feel like
she's probably really attentive and nice. You
do another one. But I just did Shego. But we
agreed about Shego. She was my next one, too.
Okay. Darian from Sailor Moon. Oh, okay. Fair
enough. But also from Sailor Moon. Sailor Mars.
Yep. I actually know exactly what you're talking
about, so maybe I agree. I love that. Okay, I'm
gonna go also animated again. Okay. And this
is where it feels wrong to say this, but I'm
gonna. Spirit the horse? No, shut the fuck up.
Moses in the Dreamworks, the Prince of Egypt.
Okay. Why is that weird? Because it's Moses.
It feels weird to put Moses on this, but it's
specifically the animated version. And I also
put his wife. I like them both. Do you remember
what they look like? No. Okay, let me... I specifically
really like him while he's still the Prince of
Egypt. Okay. So the main character. Yeah. Moses.
I didn't know that. I never watched it. It's
literally called Moses, the Prince of Egypt.
So look at her. Oh, shit. Yeah. Right? Both of
them. Yeah. I'm like, so those are mine. But
again, it felt weird to type Moses on this. So
go ahead. Genie from Aladdin. Okay. So partially
it's because it's Robin Williams. I got you.
But also, I'm not mad. No, I get it. I'll just
jump right off of that. Jafar? No, I'm afraid
of him. There's a picture of me at Disney World
when we went to Disney World when I was a kid
and the big characters and Jafar and I wouldn't
stand next to him. My parents wanted me to take
a picture with him and I'm like, he freaked me
out. I don't know. But I do have Jasmine and
Aladdin together and I literally wrote it like
that. So what I'm understanding is you want to
be in a threesome with these couples. This is
the thing, I guess, but I really don't. Like,
that sounds terrible in real life to be in a
threesome with anyone, but. It's just too much
paying attention to two people. Yeah, I don't
want to do that. But also, like, I find Aladdin
very attractive, but I also find Jasmine very
attractive. Yeah. So why would I, I mean, and
I find their dynamic together very good. Jasmine
and Aladdin, it feels right to be together. Yeah.
What about the monkey? Absolutely not. Shut up.
I can come in with a genie. So, God, how many
people even is that? Five? A five -some. That's
too many. That's a whole hand. Nope. Hit me with
another good one. Trunks from Dragon Ball Z.
Show me. I'm not remembering. I need to know.
I'm not going to say the child one because they
grow. The adult Trunks. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean,
I don't get it, but I know who that is now. I'm
about it. I'm not about it. I don't know if it's
a purple hair or what. Like a mop that went to
the gym. I was about it. Yeah. I'm going to switch
up and go to a human being. Okay. And this is
also not in the millennial timeline. Okay. I'll
go human next. This is very recent that I've
discovered this character that I'm in love with.
Okay. I know you've never watched Peaky Blinders.
Nope. But for everybody out there who is, who
has, Alfie Solomons from Peaky Blinders. He is
played by, um, what's his face? Tom Hardy. Oh!
Okay, but here's the thing. Tom Hardy is fine.
Yeah. He's the attractive looking guy. But I'm
not, like, super duper attracted to just him
and everything else he does. But the character.
Yes. Okay, so this is him. He's a Jewish, like,
gangster. Mobster. Um, he's so, he's just like
a He's a big dude. I mean, he is anyway, like,
like strong, big. He has one of those accents.
I guess it's a Cockney accent. That's like, well,
it's ridiculous, but he's just so funny. And
he's, he's so hot. And he walks around with like
a cane. He doesn't need to. And he always wears
this big old hat. And he has psoriasis in like,
that's part of it. His character has psoriasis
on purpose. I don't know, man. He's hilarious.
He's hot. He's I'm all about it. And he's, yeah,
but he's relatively new to the list, so he's
not, like, nostalgic, but I like him a lot. Dan
Connor from Roseanne, the dad. Wow, okay, here
we go. Here comes the cold water. I kind of get
it. You know what episode for me is when he finds
out that Jackie's husband beat her up? Yeah.
Then he beats him up? Yeah. Yeah, that one. In
that moment, absolutely. But there's just something,
like, he's like a big, like a bear. Yeah. You
know, like, cuddly bear. Like, he's funny. Yeah.
I get it. Yeah. He just seems like a good dude.
Yeah. I get it. I'm about it. I mean, not all
the time, but I can definitely understand. Um,
Zigzag from Holes. Okay. The one with the hair.
I really like him. I don't know why. I just,
there's something about him that gets me. Also,
I love his part in the song. Because he's the
one I think that goes the, you got to go dig
those holes. See, I have armpits memorized. Yeah.
A -R -M -P -I to the T. What is that? You smell
a dog? That's me. I don't take showers. I don't
brush my teeth. All I do is dig holes, eat, and
sleep. Yeah. No, I watched it relatively recently,
too. And I remember really liking Zig Zag as
a kid. And I watched it recently. And while,
you know, in all appropriateness, I understand.
why i was about him i don't know he looks weird
he has a nice voice it seems like he could get
real the alternative i love that so it's exactly
from holes okay also i'll just sigourney weaver
in holes as the warden yeah whoo the rattlesnake
venom just that i don't even know if it's about
her if it's about the fact that she painted her
nails with that rattlesnake kissing k barlow
you know not really for me but sam i can fix
that well obviously yeah you can i mean i'd love
him as burton guster as well psych i'm sorry
i didn't know the same guy i'm sorry but i think
he's very attractive so yes okay so my next i'll
put human again okay steve from blue's clues
but also adult steve now oh boy makes me feel
supported and good yeah He looks good. He looks
good. He looks good. He sounds good. He seems
nice. Yeah. I would like to meet him. But not
Joe. He was never really my fave. He was not
Steve. Nothing against him. No. Sorry, Joe. You
just aren't as good as Steve. Yeah. Not my fave.
So back to drawings. Shang. From Mulan. The main
guy. Let's get down to business. To defeat. The
Huns! You know, I would love to make a man out
of him. He's so hot. I remember being very attracted
to him, and still. Yeah. That's a hot guy drawing.
Oh, wait till he's so hot. I mean, he's as swift
as a coursing river. He has the force of a great
typhoon. I don't know. I can't get the word straight.
But, I mean, he's a lot of great things. He's
mysterious as the dark side of the moon. So many
pros. So many green flags. Yeah. And he can really
twirl his baton. And he can fight. Yeah. Okay.
Danny Phantom. I want you to talk about this
one a little bit. Why? Just because, like, I
don't get it. And I didn't watch that show very
much. Okay, so here's just 14. When his parents
built that machine. Because it was built to view
a world unseen. He's going to catch them all
because he's Danny Phantom. Specifically when
he is a phantom. Okay, so not regular guy. Not
regular teenage boy. Because as an adult, I do
not find that attractive. Well, good. When I
was a teenage girl. Yes. I was about it. And
now I look back, I'm like, I really liked it
when he was a phantom. Yeah, so you wanted to
fuck a ghost. Second one on your list. Ghost
face. And Danny Phantom. I can understand. I
do remember because it wasn't his hair white.
That's a look. That's very like, I'm Draco Malfoy
in a jumpsuit and I'm here for this. Oh, I should
have put Malfoy on this list. Oh, shit. How did
I not put anyone from Harry Potter on my list?
Yeah. Okay. I get it a little bit more as the
Phantom. I think I was picturing him more as
the teenager. Yeah. So, I have another ghost
on here. Okay, hit me with the deck. Well, not
really. So, Space Ghost. From Space Ghost Coast
to Coast. I'm not familiar here, Courtney. I'm
sorry. Oh my god. That was an oh my god as both
I suddenly remember this now, but also why. He
looks like a condom. He kind of looks like a
thumb. Yeah, why? What is it about that? I don't
know. I just, I think he's Okay. Maybe it's the
body? Oh, this picture is not as bad. I almost
think it's, what is going on with his crotch?
I didn't even look at his crotch. What do you
mean? What's wrong with his crotch? It's fucking
wide. Well, good for him. Okay. What a ride we've
gone on here. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty
and Dying, the show for millennials by millennials.
We get real about chronic illness, burnout, nostalgia,
and why we aren't exactly thriving. If that sounds
like you, join us every Thursday for new episodes.
Now, back to the show. I'm going to add a few
right now just from Harry Potter as honorable
mentions because I can't believe I did not. Yeah,
I didn't do any Harry Potter either and I'm kind
of upset about it. So Draco Malfoy, obviously.
Sirius Black, obviously. Severus Snape. oh yeah
absolutely you did that was great that was so
good um someone there's a tiktok of course there
is oh i don't know if i can find it it's been
so long but i commented on it and i was just
like yes daddy he's like he's got this like elder
emo thing That I really, as an elder emo now,
I'm like, oh, hell yeah. I just wonder if they
commented, if anyone liked my comment, so I can,
like, go back to it quickly. Specifically Professor
Snape, when he says, turn to page 394. Oh, yes,
daddy, I will. Turn to page 394. Whatever page
you want me to turn, I will turn to it. Turn,
bend, whatever you want. You want me to worship
the Dark Lord? Okay. Yeah. I'll do it with you.
Light me up. Put the thing on. I will throw my
whole life away. I feel really bad. Also, Fred
and George Weasley. Big fan. Liked them. But
yeah, Snapey Snape. Snape. Snape. Severus Snape.
Dumbledore! No, not Dumbledore. Not about it.
Doug Dimmadome. Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome.
You have to show me this. You don't know who
Doug Dimmadome is? No! You can't picture him.
Doug Dimmadome! Courtney. His hat. Are you fucked
up with Colonel Sanders also? Because his hat
just grows, you know? It's, like, his whole,
like, persona. Okay. You sure you're not gonna
say Dumbledore next? No. Just, like, elderly
men? What other elderly men have I chosen? None,
but that's a pretty big one to come out swinging
with. Well, it's better than, like, a teenage
boy. Um, I'm gonna go back to the ladies. Ursula.
Oh, yeah. From Little Mermaid? Absolutely. Absolutely.
Come on, sea witch. Yeah, definitely Ursula.
And she has eels, so. She has eels. I like eels.
Well, speaking of tentacles, Squidward. Okay.
Wow. What a choice. Can you tell me why? About
Squidward? Yeah, I'd like to know. I mean, he's
an artist. Okay. He. He's got a great sense of
humor. He's got a great sense of humor. Yeah.
And that nose. Okay. You like a big nose? I just
like that even though he can't stand SpongeBob
and Patrick, he still goes along with their schemes,
you know? He's a good friend, despite hating
everyone around him. Okay. And same, you know?
Yeah, I get it. I just vibe with his, I hate
my life, you know? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go
back to real people for a sec. Okay. Gomez -Adams,
specifically in the Addams Family values, and
that's the movies that came out around the 90s.
Yeah. With Angelica Houston as Morticia. That
Gomez -Adams, which the actor, rest in peace,
but him, oh yeah. Oh yeah. They were just, first
of all, I love a guy who loves his woman and
is very romantic. And he like worships her. Yeah,
that'd be nice. But I love that. I want to be
worshiped. Karamia, is that what he calls her?
I think so. But he's, he's just like, he's infatuated
with her. Yeah. And everything she does. And
like, I understand why. I mean, look at her.
Yeah. She should also be on your list. She isn't,
but she could be. Yeah. You know, if that's,
if that's a, if that was a deal breaker for Gomez,
like he's like, Morticia's gotta be there. I'd
be like, that's okay. That's fine with me. But
just specifically that, that character of it.
So. Cronk. Squeak, squeak, squeak. Can you, if
you ever, like, I can't imagine. You'd just be
in bed with him and pull the lever, Kronk. Wrong
lever! Oh, man. That's an interesting choice
right there. Why? I think he's great. I don't
know. He seems so stupid. Yeah, but it's so lovable.
I don't find that lovable. I think that's the
difference. And I find him old. And he's very
top -heavy. That's fine. He skipped a lot of
leg days. I can help him with his legs. How?
I don't know. I'm, like, trying to think of what
this could be. He can bench me with his legs.
So one that I don't know if I would say now,
but I definitely had as a kid, Will Turner from
Pirates of the Caribbean, Orlando Bloom's character.
Not so much now. No. Orlando Bloom was one of
my crushes, but specifically his character as
Will Turner was it. It was a gateway drug. But
yeah, so I mean, I don't really feel that way
now. It doesn't really hold up, but I felt like
I needed to put it on the list for the nostalgia
factor. Certainly not when he wore that feathery
hat, though. Yeah. No fucking way. Okay. Okay.
So the hobo from Polar Express. Okay. I remember
him. I'm just, I need you to talk me through
this one also. Because what the fuck is going
on, Courtney? You should see my list. I'm hearing
it out loud. So when we're done, like, talking
about all of it, anything we don't get to, I
would just say all of them. Okay. Because I'm
picking and choosing here. Okay, yeah, because
I've only got a few more, so then I'm going to
let you go. I'm going to let you drive this train
home when we're done here. Okay. Tell me why
about this guy. I just think he's conventionally
attractive, but he's also, like, mysterious.
Yeah, well, he's a hobo, so that'll do it. Yeah,
but he's a ghost, actually. So what I'm hearing,
do you also, is Bruce Willis from The Sixth Sense
also on your list? Because it seems like he's
been dead the whole time and really what you
want. So from, I used to watch Lost a lot, and
Saeed, the character from Lost. Okay, I'll pull
one. He, I was fucking so obsessed with this
guy. As Saeed. I mean, I think the actor is very
attractive, also. I've liked him in other things,
but it was about the character. Oh, shit, okay.
Yeah, he was sweaty on an island, absolutely.
That's what I mean, I have more, I mean, I have
a couple more cartoons, I think, but I have...
I watched a lot of live action stuff. I watched
more cartoons. Yeah, I watched more live action
stuff. But I also tried to not pick real people
because the majority of them are conventionally
attractive. So it's not really a hear me out.
But this isn't a hear me out. No, not really.
But I tried to be more like different. Yeah,
I didn't try to do that. I did not try to be
a contrarian on this. I just was like fictional
characters I'm attracted to. Bam. About them
being fictional characters more than just people.
I mean, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. Okay. You're
such an interesting person. Okay, I'll do my,
I think this is my last animated person. Okay.
So, in Rugrats, I don't remember her name, but
Chucky's stepmom and Kimmy's mom. Oh, yeah. She's
pretty. But she was also, like, so sweet. Yeah.
Her whole characterization. Like, she's so sweet
and nice. So I love that. I love how she loved
Chucky as her own. But she's also pretty. Her
glasses. She wore those little glasses in the
beret in Rugrats in Paris. Yeah. The orange VHS
tape. Yeah. You know, I also don't think I would,
um, I don't think I would kick Angelica's mom
out of bed. No. I think she would. I think she
would beat you up. You might love her in bed,
because I think she'd beat the shit out of you.
Whatever. But yeah, I don't think I'd kick her
out of bed either. Or her husband. Yeah. Now,
Stu Pickles, not my favorite. I would make pudding
with him at 4 o 'clock in the morning. Yeah,
we could be bros. Yeah. You know, same with Dee
Dee. We could be bros. Just that whole family
dynamic I wasn't about. No. But the other, like,
what's, what's, um, Drew. Drew Pickles. Drew,
yeah. Him I like. And I like Angelica's mom,
whose name I can't remember right now. Yeah,
Angelica's mom. Yeah. Or wait, let me see if
I have any more. Because that was my last animated
one. Let me see if I have anyone else I want
to say. Because then I'll just do like a speed
round. Yeah. But I'll elaborate if you have questions.
I'm not getting, this isn't, I wrote this and
I don't really remember it, but it's true. daddy
rossi alfredo but i think i want him to be my
dad more than i literally whatever so i mean
the goobs matthew greg he's fine i don't know
he's not like i don't know he's fine but as far
as a character goes daddy rossi alfredo i really
enjoy but i do think i'd rather he be my father
yeah I think he's attractive, I guess, but...
Alright, so I don't have that many more, and
most of them I don't think you'll even know who
they are anyway. They're very obscure, so...
We'll speed around if you have questions. I'll
let you know, but I just want you to barrel through.
Okay. I'll hold my questions till the end. Okay.
Him. Gritty. He's a real thing. He's not a fictional
character, but you know what I'm talking about.
Just... I want you to speed around. Okay. Bojack
Horseman. Shaggy. Shrek. Pennywise. Raven from
Teen Titans. Six from the movie Nine. I'll show
you a picture. I don't think I know who that
is. I'm sorry. Six. Nine. What? Okay, never mind.
I'm holding my comments and questions to the
end. Okay. Swiper the Fox. Osmosis Jones. Actually,
100 % agree. Powerline. 100 % agree. Lumineer.
Or Lumiere. Sorry. You lost. Scar. Yeah, actually,
yes. Randy Marsh. From South Park. The dad. I
didn't watch South Park. I don't know who they
are. Feeling good on a Wednesday. Lightning McQueen.
Poe from Kung Fu Panda, but mainly because it's
Jack Black. Dude, I thought you were about to
say Teletubbies. I thought about putting Teletubby
there, but I decided against it. What? Tinky
Winky. Oh, my. Keep going. And Sportacus from
LazyTown. Which one is Sportacus? Like, does
all the exercises. Show me a picture. I did not
watch LazyTown. I don't fucking know. I'm sorry.
I'm overwhelmed with your choices. I love you
so much. Okay. Um. I forgot to put. Mm -hmm.
Um. In the Goofy movies. Mm -hmm. You know Max's
friend that has the earring and is like. Like
cheese. Yeah, that one. The leaning tower of
cheese. I am. I'm about. I was always kind of
into him. But also the girlfriend. Yes. Hot.
So, yeah, she was another one. I forget her name.
What was her name? Roxanne? Roxanne. I loved
her. So those two that reminded me when you said
power line. Um, you know, a few of those I understand.
A few of them I, I'm, I'm, I don't know what
to say to you. After that one, six from a nine,
I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look
at you the same way again. What is that thing?
What, what is, what is he? Um, they're like dolls.
All right, guys, I think we should go. I know
this has been a shorter one. You don't want to
talk about Pennywise? Both of them. You already
have talked about Pennywise a lot before I even
ever asked you to. I understand why. Are there
any you want to talk about? Is there any other
questions that you have for me? I mean, so many,
but I don't know if it's worth talking about.
What other ones that I don't know did you put
on your list? I put Damon Salvatore from The
Vampire Diaries. I also put the vampire Jerry
Danders from Fright Night. It's an 80s movie.
Jake Gyllenhaal's character in Prisoners. I think
his name is Detective Loki. I just think Jake
Gyllenhaal is very attractive. He is, but I don't
find him overwhelmingly attractive. But this
character in Prisoners, I really, really like.
And this one you'll know, I guess. But Jason
Stiles in Gilmore Girls. He's the rich guy that
Lorelai had a relationship with right before
Luke. The teacher? No, no, no. He was in business
with Richard. Yeah, hold on. I actually really
liked him and I liked them together. I mean,
obviously I wanted her to end up with Luke, but
this guy was a close second. Well, Luke is definitely
on my list. He is too, but that was like obvious.
Same with Jess. Like, obviously. I'm trying to
think of anyone that I've missed. I mean, I find
a lot of people attractive. You do. You always
have. I always have. Real life, drawings. Dolls,
candles, apparently. It's not the fact that he's
a candlestick, okay? See, the fact that you said
that makes me feel like it is. It's not. The
lady doth protest too much. It's the aura. A
lot of the characters that I find attractive
are because of their personalities or the aura
that they give. So, like, the light that he brings
to the world? Yes. Well, now you know that about
us. And we hope you can still listen and look
at us the same. Tell us what your fictional characters
you're attracted to are, your hear -me -outs,
or just if they're conventionally attractive,
that's okay too. So if you guys follow us on
Instagram, at 30dirtyanddying, we'll try to put
some of these. in the stories as, like, polls,
and you can tell us which ones of our picks you
think are the most conventionally attractive.
Or just attractive. Or if you like their personalities.
Yeah, not conventionally. I don't know why I
said that. You can tell us which ones of our
picks you're most attracted to. We'll group them
together. So, that'll be fun. A fun way for you
guys to play, too. And, uh, make sure you're
following us on whatever your preferred podcast
platform is so that you can find out what we
do next. Alright. I'm glad we did this. Me too.
I feel like I know so much more about you than
I ever did or maybe even wanted to. But I love
you still the same. I'm glad. You should be because
you got weird there for a while. Which ones specifically?
Most of the dead ones. Not because of those characters,
but because it seemed like there were so many
of them. You know, and the funny thing is, when
I was creating the list, I didn't even realize.
Yeah, so that makes me wonder if it's because
they're dead. I don't think I have to finish
that sentence. I also didn't realize that the
hobo was a ghost until I said it. It's just subconscious.
Maybe. Maybe subconsciously I just want to be
a ghost. Alright, well that's why we called the
show 30 Dirty and Dying. We'll see you all next
time. Bye! I know you've been depriving yourself
since 96.