WEBVTT 00:00:09.200 --> 00:00:14.660 Hey now. Hey now. This is what dreams are made 00:00:14.660 --> 00:00:19.719 of. Hey, hey, hey. Hey now. Hey now. This is 00:00:19.719 --> 00:00:25.539 what dreams are made of. I've got somewhere I 00:00:25.539 --> 00:00:31.039 belong. I've got somebody to love. This is what 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:39.060 dreams are made of. Hello. Welcome back. This 00:00:39.060 --> 00:00:40.479 is what dreams are made of, guys. This is what 00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:43.799 dreams are made of. Or nightmares. I don't know. 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:47.700 Welcome back to 30 Dirty and Dying. This is 30 00:00:47.700 --> 00:00:49.820 Dirty and Dying. This is our first episode post 00:00:49.820 --> 00:00:53.259 -October block. Which makes me sad. I know, but... 00:00:53.259 --> 00:00:55.520 Because spooky season is just... In my heart 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:58.259 forever. Yeah. And you know what really grinds 00:00:58.259 --> 00:01:00.719 my gears? I don't know. What? Tell me. That people 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:03.659 are already decorating for Christmas. I mean, 00:01:03.740 --> 00:01:07.739 okay. It does me too. But I have to say, I'm 00:01:07.739 --> 00:01:11.500 feeling a little bit more holly jolly this year. 00:01:11.620 --> 00:01:13.819 Like, I'm a little bit excited for Christmas. 00:01:13.900 --> 00:01:16.480 I think because I've been so sad and overwhelmed. 00:01:16.620 --> 00:01:18.480 I'm like, I just want to be wrapped in a warm 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:21.459 eggnog hug. I'd be like an eggnog. Yeah, that's 00:01:21.459 --> 00:01:23.299 what the time of year does. You know, I need 00:01:23.299 --> 00:01:26.849 some... Twinkly lights. I need some cinnamon 00:01:26.849 --> 00:01:28.790 or some shit. I don't know. I need something 00:01:28.790 --> 00:01:30.489 to make me feel warm and fuzzy. But there's twinkly 00:01:30.489 --> 00:01:32.329 lights and cinnamon with Halloween. No, and there 00:01:32.329 --> 00:01:34.329 totally was. And I got that. But I don't know. 00:01:34.349 --> 00:01:36.989 I am excited for Christmas. I'm like, I don't 00:01:36.989 --> 00:01:39.810 know. And usually I'm the same way as you. And 00:01:39.810 --> 00:01:41.909 I'm still not going to decorate until after Thanksgiving. 00:01:43.069 --> 00:01:45.129 Justin was like, we were like talking about, 00:01:45.290 --> 00:01:47.650 I said I wanted to go and look for some new Christmas 00:01:47.650 --> 00:01:49.269 decorations because I want a couple new things. 00:01:49.390 --> 00:01:52.010 And he was like, when do you want those out? 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.200 Like, he was thinking, like, I wanted to decorate, 00:01:54.260 --> 00:01:57.099 like, tomorrow. And I was like, oh, slow down. 00:01:57.620 --> 00:02:00.099 Slow your roll. Slow your roll, Santa Claus. 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:02.920 Not until after Thanksgiving. I just don't do... 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:05.140 And it's not out of a... It's not out of a, like, 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:08.139 I refuse to acknowledge it before... I don't 00:02:08.139 --> 00:02:09.680 give a fuck about Thanksgiving. I mean, who does? 00:02:09.860 --> 00:02:11.740 Yeah, I mean, it's fine. Like, we're gonna have 00:02:11.740 --> 00:02:14.300 Thanksgiving. It's whatever. But it's just because 00:02:14.300 --> 00:02:18.340 I know what a chore it is to keep my cats from 00:02:18.340 --> 00:02:21.729 tearing down the Christmas tree. So... Three 00:02:21.729 --> 00:02:24.909 weeks is good. We don't decorate for Christmas. 00:02:25.229 --> 00:02:28.370 At all? Not anymore. Because one, we don't have 00:02:28.370 --> 00:02:30.849 space in our living room for a tree. And two, 00:02:31.210 --> 00:02:34.189 Mike says that I can decorate, but he's not going 00:02:34.189 --> 00:02:35.629 to help me and he's not going to help me tear 00:02:35.629 --> 00:02:37.330 it down. So I'm like, all right, then I'm just 00:02:37.330 --> 00:02:39.210 not going to fucking do it. Okay, well, if you 00:02:39.210 --> 00:02:42.849 want to, I will help you. I put out one Christmas 00:02:42.849 --> 00:02:45.889 hedgehog on the front porch. Okay, that's not 00:02:45.889 --> 00:02:49.389 where I thought that sentence was going. I'm 00:02:49.389 --> 00:02:51.270 not really sure, but I didn't think you were 00:02:51.270 --> 00:02:54.889 going to say hedgehog. And a wreath. Oh, a wreath. 00:02:55.370 --> 00:02:57.969 Well, if you decide you want to do anything, 00:02:58.189 --> 00:03:00.509 I will help you. Just give me a call. Give me 00:03:00.509 --> 00:03:02.849 a ring -a -ding -ding. Call me, beat me. If you 00:03:02.849 --> 00:03:05.460 want to reach me. And obviously you wanted to 00:03:05.460 --> 00:03:07.819 reach us here at 30 Dirty and Dying for our next 00:03:07.819 --> 00:03:10.219 episode. So we're out of spooky season, unfortunately, 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:12.379 but we're back to our regular scheduled content. 00:03:12.659 --> 00:03:15.120 Which isn't much different. Right. Just a little 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:18.360 less spooks. Yeah. A little bit less on the spook. 00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:21.580 I mean, my insides are always spooky. However 00:03:21.580 --> 00:03:23.639 you want to interpret that. I have a feeling 00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:26.520 that like my colon is especially spooky. Spooky 00:03:26.520 --> 00:03:30.889 dookie. Yep. Um, but. We're going to kick off 00:03:30.889 --> 00:03:33.990 the next phase of this season with an old favorite. 00:03:34.490 --> 00:03:37.150 Am I the asshole? Yeah. Everybody loves this 00:03:37.150 --> 00:03:39.969 on podcasts, myself included. And we haven't 00:03:39.969 --> 00:03:43.370 done it since, was it last season we did? I don't 00:03:43.370 --> 00:03:45.330 remember. I think it was last season. I don't 00:03:45.330 --> 00:03:47.270 remember what I did yesterday. That's true. The 00:03:47.270 --> 00:03:49.620 answer is probably nothing. Yep, so we're gonna 00:03:49.620 --> 00:03:51.479 do Am I the Asshole? So we've got a few that 00:03:51.479 --> 00:03:53.680 we found. And we're just gonna talk about them, 00:03:53.699 --> 00:03:55.620 read them, go back and forth. I mean, you guys 00:03:55.620 --> 00:03:57.599 know, if you listen to podcasts, you know how 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:00.039 this fucking goes. I did see one when I was looking 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:02.680 that said at the very top in big bold letters, 00:04:02.780 --> 00:04:05.000 like, I do not consent to having this read on 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:06.919 a podcast without my permission. Please tell 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:10.500 me you did. Huh? No, I'm gonna respect what they 00:04:10.500 --> 00:04:12.740 said. That's true, but I'm curious what it is. 00:04:12.919 --> 00:04:15.900 It wasn't great. So we're gonna do that. But 00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:27.410 first things first. Back in time. Alright! Alright! 00:04:27.689 --> 00:04:31.069 Alright, we're taking it back to 1990. I wasn't 00:04:31.069 --> 00:04:34.829 even birthed yet. Me neither. Man, if I could 00:04:34.829 --> 00:04:38.209 turn back time. If I could turn back time. Did 00:04:38.209 --> 00:04:40.009 you know that Cher is coming out with a memoir? 00:04:40.250 --> 00:04:43.009 And she's doing it in two parts. Whoa! Memoir 00:04:43.009 --> 00:04:46.290 part one comes out in November, and then I don't 00:04:46.290 --> 00:04:47.670 know when part two comes out. Doesn't matter, 00:04:47.750 --> 00:04:50.430 I'm gonna buy it. Or, or, and hear me out. You 00:04:50.430 --> 00:04:51.769 can wait for like a Christmas present. I don't 00:04:51.769 --> 00:04:53.290 know. If you want to get it for me for Christmas, 00:04:53.350 --> 00:04:55.089 that's fine. Okay. Don't buy it yourself. Okay. 00:04:55.250 --> 00:04:57.449 Tell Justin if you want to get it though. Okay. 00:04:57.529 --> 00:04:58.769 Because I'm going to put it on my Christmas list 00:04:58.769 --> 00:05:00.649 for him just in case. Okay. So if you're going 00:05:00.649 --> 00:05:03.050 to get it, you have to contact him. Okay. I don't 00:05:03.050 --> 00:05:06.029 have his number. I'll give it to you. Okay. 1990. 00:05:06.689 --> 00:05:13.370 1990. That's it. I was thinking of 19, 19, 1985. 00:05:13.769 --> 00:05:15.670 I know you were. But it's not. I know you were. 00:05:15.670 --> 00:05:18.879 So then I just went, I just panicked. 1990. Just 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:22.180 like every fucking day of our lives. I did find 00:05:22.180 --> 00:05:24.480 an interesting fact. Tell me an interesting fact. 00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:26.800 Which, all you listeners out there, if you just 00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:29.399 happen to Google, what happened in 1990? Yeah, 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:31.079 tell me. You're not going to fucking find anything. 00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:33.519 Because it's just like, oh, all the fun things 00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:36.180 that happened in the 90s. It happened when we 00:05:36.180 --> 00:05:38.819 do the 2010s or 2002. It's the same thing. Am 00:05:38.819 --> 00:05:45.920 I searching 1990S? No. Well. 1990. That's a year. 00:05:46.980 --> 00:05:49.160 And I want to know information about it. But 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:51.420 the thing that I found, which is interesting, 00:05:51.519 --> 00:05:53.439 interesting fact, this happened in January of 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:58.980 1990. Okay. The Viscase Corporation debuted a 00:05:58.980 --> 00:06:01.860 new technology that allowed edible ink ads to 00:06:01.860 --> 00:06:05.360 be printed onto hot dogs, known as the hot dog 00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:07.800 vertizing. So you're telling me that it was just 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:11.839 like on the casing of your ween was just like, 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.959 buy a Toyota. The company boasted that now, for 00:06:15.959 --> 00:06:18.800 the first time, hot dogs could be used as a communications 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:22.600 medium. It also suggested that hot dog advertising 00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:25.300 would be a great way for companies to target 00:06:25.300 --> 00:06:28.459 messages at children and establish brand preference 00:06:28.459 --> 00:06:32.019 early. Honestly, why is that the best idea I've 00:06:32.019 --> 00:06:35.639 ever heard? We should get 30 Dirty and Dying. 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:39.779 Wieners. Wieners. Forget merch, forget t -shirts, 00:06:39.779 --> 00:06:43.889 fuck it. Let's get hot dogs. That have 30 Dirty 00:06:43.889 --> 00:06:46.709 and Dying on them. Dog sucking season. Hell yeah. 00:06:46.870 --> 00:06:51.550 Look out, Frank and Joey. Joe. Whatever. Look 00:06:51.550 --> 00:06:53.790 out, guys. That's pretty much all I could find, 00:06:53.829 --> 00:06:56.310 because fucking Google sucks. Well, I had a bunch 00:06:56.310 --> 00:06:59.029 of stuff, actually, so it's okay. Well, I looked 00:06:59.029 --> 00:07:01.850 for specific things, so that's... Yeah. I did 00:07:01.850 --> 00:07:05.470 find some American novels that were published 00:07:05.470 --> 00:07:08.689 in 1990. Fun. I didn't read then, because I wasn't 00:07:08.689 --> 00:07:11.889 alive. I wasn't, no. But some of them... Did 00:07:11.889 --> 00:07:14.269 you even... realize we're probably gonna sound 00:07:14.269 --> 00:07:16.790 like idiots at least i am because i didn't know 00:07:16.790 --> 00:07:19.370 this did you know that jurassic park was a book 00:07:19.370 --> 00:07:25.589 no thank you fucking thank you so much because 00:07:25.589 --> 00:07:27.709 i am are you shitting my dick right now look 00:07:27.709 --> 00:07:30.930 1990 jurassic park a science fiction novel written 00:07:30.930 --> 00:07:34.629 by michael crichton and it's the same dino well 00:07:34.629 --> 00:07:38.050 shit yeah about genetically recreated dinosaurs 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:40.939 Huh. And I thought that was just an original 00:07:40.939 --> 00:07:43.779 movie idea. Yeah, a Steven Spielberg original 00:07:43.779 --> 00:07:47.240 movie. I literally did. I had no idea that that 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:49.639 was a book. So, I don't know. Maybe I'll read 00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:51.860 Jurassic Park. Is it on Kindle Unlimited? I don't 00:07:51.860 --> 00:07:53.740 know. You can check. I will check right now. 00:07:53.779 --> 00:07:57.379 Check right now. I finally read Jenna Lee's latest 00:07:57.379 --> 00:08:00.079 book, Love Hurts. I got it a few months ago. 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:03.240 Is it good? It's fucking amazing. I let my friend 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:04.740 Keisha borrow it. Yeah. I don't know if she's 00:08:04.740 --> 00:08:06.600 ready yet or not. I just finished it like the 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:09.569 other day. It only took me like two days to read 00:08:09.569 --> 00:08:11.949 it. So good. I mean, all of her books are so 00:08:11.949 --> 00:08:15.529 good. Jenna Lee Barker. She's gonna write a banger. 00:08:15.649 --> 00:08:17.689 So I finally read it. Yeah, if you guys want 00:08:17.689 --> 00:08:19.129 to hear more about it, we did a whole episode 00:08:19.129 --> 00:08:21.029 with her last season where she talked about this 00:08:21.029 --> 00:08:23.790 book. So you can... I will say, I think out of 00:08:23.790 --> 00:08:26.319 all three of them... Life After is still my favorite. 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:29.839 Yeah, I really liked Life After, but man, this 00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:32.740 one was something else. Life After made me cry, 00:08:32.940 --> 00:08:35.559 ugly cry. Yeah, I think I cried in all of them 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:37.399 though. Oh, I mean, I did cry in all of them, 00:08:37.419 --> 00:08:40.679 but ugly cried in Life After. And I'm still thinking 00:08:40.679 --> 00:08:43.240 about Life After. I mean, right now I'm still 00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:45.419 thinking about Love Hurts, but I just read it. 00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:47.960 Yeah. So I think because just having like a lot 00:08:47.960 --> 00:08:50.340 of the same experiences as the girl in that book, 00:08:50.419 --> 00:08:53.250 I used highlighters. You highlighted the book? 00:08:53.269 --> 00:08:54.750 I highlighted some shit because it was that good. 00:08:55.149 --> 00:08:59.509 Dang. Yeah, it was something. But yeah, I don't 00:08:59.509 --> 00:09:01.370 know. I did put at the beginning of my review 00:09:01.370 --> 00:09:04.309 for it, I was like, I... Jenna Lee Barker is 00:09:04.309 --> 00:09:05.889 becoming one of my favorite authors, even though 00:09:05.889 --> 00:09:09.450 she keeps making me cry. Anyways. Oh, yeah, I 00:09:09.450 --> 00:09:11.730 was going to Google Jurassic Park. Yeah, see 00:09:11.730 --> 00:09:13.509 if it's on Kindle. It is not on Kindle Unlimited. 00:09:13.690 --> 00:09:15.350 Okay. I mean, it's on Kindle, so if you want 00:09:15.350 --> 00:09:17.970 to purchase books on Kindle, you can. Yeah. But 00:09:17.970 --> 00:09:20.350 if you pay for Kindle Unlimited, it is not part 00:09:20.350 --> 00:09:22.169 of that. I got you. Therefore, I will not be 00:09:22.169 --> 00:09:24.409 getting it. Okay, well. If I'm going to pay for 00:09:24.409 --> 00:09:26.210 a book, I'd rather have the physical book. There's 00:09:26.210 --> 00:09:29.129 also a book just called Vampires. That has nothing 00:09:29.129 --> 00:09:31.820 to do with Jurassic Park. No, it's not. A novel 00:09:31.820 --> 00:09:34.539 that concerns a company called Vampires with 00:09:34.539 --> 00:09:37.580 a dollar sign incorporated. It treats vampire 00:09:37.580 --> 00:09:40.080 hunting as a commercial enterprise. Why do I 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:41.820 want to read this right now? It's just called 00:09:41.820 --> 00:09:43.480 Vampires? It's just called Vampires. With a dollar 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:45.559 sign? Sometimes it has the dollar sign, but I 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:47.100 guess the original cover does not. That sounds 00:09:47.100 --> 00:09:49.019 interesting. And that came out in 1990? 1990, 00:09:49.220 --> 00:09:51.379 on the dot. Oh, shit. Okay. It's by someone named 00:09:51.379 --> 00:09:53.919 John Steakley. So, I'm going to look for that 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:56.539 book. That sounds fun. Let me just quickly look 00:09:56.539 --> 00:09:59.460 that up on Kindle Unlimited. Do it. Kindle, sponsor 00:09:59.460 --> 00:10:03.379 me. Yeah, if you'd like to. I read the shit out 00:10:03.379 --> 00:10:05.940 of you. She does. Also, The Face on the Milk 00:10:05.940 --> 00:10:07.899 Carton came out. It's a book about a missing 00:10:07.899 --> 00:10:10.980 child. But I remember they made a TV movie. A 00:10:10.980 --> 00:10:13.159 made -for -TV movie about it a few years later, 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.559 probably. There's a lot of vampire books when 00:10:15.559 --> 00:10:17.279 I just search vampires. Who did you say it was 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:21.659 by? John Steakley? John Steakley? Maybe it's 00:10:21.659 --> 00:10:24.500 spelled, I think, like steak. Okie doke. Okie 00:10:24.500 --> 00:10:26.899 doke. Well, let's move on to movies. Movies. 00:10:26.919 --> 00:10:28.100 There's some movies that came out. Yeah. Let's 00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:30.279 do some bangers. Edward Scissorhands. Oh, shit. 00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:32.360 Yep. I love Edward Scissorhands. I do, too. It's 00:10:32.360 --> 00:10:35.799 so good. Also, Misery. Oh, that's a good one. 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:41.460 It is. Ghost. Pottery. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Demi Moore 00:10:41.460 --> 00:10:46.980 and Swayze. Patrick Swayze. R .I .P. Tremors. 00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:49.200 Wait, did you just say Patrick? He's dead? He's 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:51.919 been dead for like 15 years. Oh, shit. Yeah, 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.320 he's been dead for a while. Wow. Plot twist. 00:10:56.120 --> 00:10:58.480 Spoiler alert. Patrick Swayze's been dead for 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:01.059 many years. I don't know if I can come back from 00:11:01.059 --> 00:11:02.960 this. I think we're going to have to call it 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:05.179 quits on recording this podcast because I had 00:11:05.179 --> 00:11:06.480 no idea. Why? Because he's a real life ghost 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:08.600 now? Oh, shit. I'm going to tell you when he 00:11:08.600 --> 00:11:10.159 died and you're going to be embarrassed. He's 00:11:10.159 --> 00:11:13.019 making pottery in heaven right now. 2009. Same 00:11:13.019 --> 00:11:16.519 with my mom. They die at the same time. Crazy. 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:18.700 Are they both ghosts making pottery together? 00:11:19.100 --> 00:11:22.639 Yeah. Who knows? Pretty Woman. Walking down the 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:25.019 street. Yep. Never watched it. Oh, Arachnophobia. 00:11:25.340 --> 00:11:28.759 Your favorite. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:31.279 Night of the Living Dead remake. Oh, Back to 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:33.059 the Future 3. I know you like Back to the Future. 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:36.000 Back to the Future 3, it's hard. Two sucks, let's 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:38.480 be honest. One and three are the best ones. Yeah. 00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:41.200 But I feel like I quote three more than I quote 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.559 one. Do you? Because I don't ever quote it ever, 00:11:43.659 --> 00:11:45.120 but it's not because I don't like it. I just 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:47.919 don't like it as much as you do. Yeah. So. Oh, 00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:50.820 also Home Alone came out. Ugh. I know, you hate 00:11:50.820 --> 00:11:53.100 it, but it's, you know. Trash. It's a big deal. 00:11:53.259 --> 00:11:55.809 Whatever. All right. Fuck me then. Sorry. Whenever 00:11:55.809 --> 00:12:00.549 I watch people do like the TikTok, like where 00:12:00.549 --> 00:12:04.490 they go left or right of like movies and like 00:12:04.490 --> 00:12:06.649 ratings and stuff like that. And they pick Home 00:12:06.649 --> 00:12:08.149 Alone. I'm like, why the fuck would you do that? 00:12:08.269 --> 00:12:09.990 I mean, it's never. But then I realized that 00:12:09.990 --> 00:12:11.750 people like Home Alone and I don't know why. 00:12:12.110 --> 00:12:13.970 I think it's, I just think it's the nostalgia 00:12:13.970 --> 00:12:16.529 factor. I really do. I just think it's, you know, 00:12:16.570 --> 00:12:18.629 Macaulay Culkin was a big deal at the time. It 00:12:18.629 --> 00:12:21.450 was a pretty popular movie and I think that's 00:12:21.450 --> 00:12:24.340 it. I saw somebody put like, let's be honest, 00:12:24.460 --> 00:12:26.320 if you watched Hocus Pocus for the first time 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:28.399 right now as a 30 something, would you love it 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:30.980 that much? I don't know. And maybe it's the same 00:12:30.980 --> 00:12:33.840 thing with Home Alone. Maybe. I'm not sure. And 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:35.279 maybe because I didn't grow up on Home Alone. 00:12:35.519 --> 00:12:37.600 Maybe. I didn't watch it until I was older and 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:40.179 I didn't like it. Yeah. Maybe that's why. I watched 00:12:40.179 --> 00:12:43.759 it as a kid, but I just, I don't, it just wasn't 00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:45.480 my favorite. I don't know. It just never really 00:12:45.480 --> 00:12:48.519 stuck around. I was more of a claymation bitch. 00:12:49.139 --> 00:12:52.919 The old, the like. Little Drummer Boy. Oh, I 00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:54.860 never watched that. Ba -rum -ba -pum -pum. I 00:12:54.860 --> 00:12:59.960 love that one. I like the Rudolph the Red -Nosed 00:12:59.960 --> 00:13:02.299 Reindeer one. Although, let's just be honest 00:13:02.299 --> 00:13:05.679 here. Fucking bullies. Yeah. Everyone's a fucking 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:08.259 bully and so is Santa. Yeah. I liked The Year 00:13:08.259 --> 00:13:10.279 Without a Santa Claus because it was so stupid. 00:13:11.019 --> 00:13:14.580 But Heatmiser and Snowmiser, they're bangers. 00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:18.120 Anyways, you want to switch to TV? Yeah. Alright. 00:13:18.419 --> 00:13:22.809 Law and Order came out. Dun -dun. It's still 00:13:22.809 --> 00:13:27.029 out. Yep. It's been out. Are You Afraid of the 00:13:27.029 --> 00:13:31.169 Dark? I don't know. Y7. Y7, baby. I couldn't 00:13:31.169 --> 00:13:33.929 watch it until 1998. The Fresh Prince of Bel 00:13:33.929 --> 00:13:35.850 -Air. In West Philadelphia. Born and raised. 00:13:35.950 --> 00:13:37.789 I really loved that show. Oh, me too. It's one 00:13:37.789 --> 00:13:39.730 of my favorites. Such a good show. And I will 00:13:39.730 --> 00:13:42.370 say, holds up. I've rewatched it as an adult 00:13:42.370 --> 00:13:45.409 and it totally holds up. I love Carlton. Me too. 00:13:45.629 --> 00:13:47.580 And Uncle Phil. Let's just settle this right 00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:49.580 now, though. The first Aunt Viv was the best 00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:51.639 Aunt Viv. Yes. When they replaced her. I'm not 00:13:51.639 --> 00:13:52.919 saying anything bad about the way they replaced 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:54.759 her. She was fine. But, like, she didn't have 00:13:54.759 --> 00:13:57.840 the vibes. The first Aunt Viv had all the vibes. 00:13:57.960 --> 00:14:00.100 Which is why she got it originally, you know? 00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:03.480 Yep. Yes, indeed. Blossom. Bubbles and Buttercup? 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:06.860 No, it was a show with Mayim Bialik. I don't 00:14:06.860 --> 00:14:08.659 know who that is. You just said who it was. Amy 00:14:08.659 --> 00:14:11.039 Farrah Fowler from Big Bang Theory. Oh, okay. 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:13.159 Yeah, she had a show. My mom watched it. Did 00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:15.909 you know that she was on What Not to Wear? No, 00:14:15.929 --> 00:14:18.990 but I believe it. I mean, no offense, but I believe 00:14:18.990 --> 00:14:21.909 it. They made a Wizard of Oz show. It ran for 00:14:21.909 --> 00:14:24.769 one whole year, so I guess it didn't kill it. 00:14:24.970 --> 00:14:27.350 Well, I'm just thinking about the Wizard of Oz 00:14:27.350 --> 00:14:30.610 and all the stuff that happened on the set and 00:14:30.610 --> 00:14:32.929 how they treated everyone and also the guy that 00:14:32.929 --> 00:14:36.190 was apparently hung. That did not happen. Okay. 00:14:36.570 --> 00:14:39.929 Yep. You're right. Should have said it. Yep. 00:14:41.110 --> 00:14:42.909 Anyways, you want to go out with songs and then 00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:45.509 let's get fucking to it? What about tornadoes? 00:14:45.509 --> 00:14:48.669 Yeah, okay, you do tornadoes, and then we'll 00:14:48.669 --> 00:14:51.129 go out with songs. Tell me of the tornadoes. 00:14:51.129 --> 00:14:55.470 There was an F5. Shit, no way. Yep, in Heston, 00:14:55.570 --> 00:15:00.029 Kansas on March 13th, in GoSoul, Kansas on March 00:15:00.029 --> 00:15:03.549 13th, and Plainfield, Illinois on August 28th. 00:15:03.570 --> 00:15:06.809 So there are three F5s. That's crazy. Crazy. 00:15:07.429 --> 00:15:11.070 Wow. And what's also crazy is it says there are... 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:14.279 There were 1 ,133 tornadoes in the U .S. And 00:15:14.279 --> 00:15:18.879 the damage, unknown. That's wild. Wild. Wild. 00:15:19.700 --> 00:15:22.740 Fatalities, 53. Wow, so that was a pretty big 00:15:22.740 --> 00:15:25.980 year for the tornadoes. Yeah, it looks like all 00:15:25.980 --> 00:15:28.559 of the, so I'm looking at the summary of tornadoes, 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.639 at least one person died every single tornado. 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.440 Which kind of sucks. That does suck. I hate that. 00:15:33.740 --> 00:15:37.779 Ugh, so sad. Okay, so this is the fact. On March 00:15:37.779 --> 00:15:40.750 13th, not one, but two! Oh, my God. F5 tornado 00:15:40.750 --> 00:15:42.649 struck in Kansas, which I already said. Yeah. 00:15:42.690 --> 00:15:45.190 Both coming from the same supercell. This was 00:15:45.190 --> 00:15:49.149 the only day since the 1974 super outbreak to 00:15:49.149 --> 00:15:52.129 have more than one F5 on the same day. And that's 00:15:52.129 --> 00:15:57.610 until 2011. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Well. Oh, in 2011, 00:15:57.850 --> 00:16:03.210 it was four F5s that touched down in April. Wow. 00:16:03.289 --> 00:16:06.259 Of 2011. Okay, now you do you. All right, well, 00:16:06.340 --> 00:16:09.200 let's go out with some songs. Sing me up. For 00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:13.700 the Billboard Top 100 list, number one, which 00:16:13.700 --> 00:16:16.019 also came out in 1990, not the year before, was 00:16:16.019 --> 00:16:20.019 Hold On by Wilson Phillips. Someday somebody's 00:16:20.019 --> 00:16:21.779 gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. 00:16:22.740 --> 00:16:32.940 Hold on for... Hold on for one more day. Yep, 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:38.070 that one. Sinead O 'Connor's version of Nothing 00:16:38.070 --> 00:16:40.509 Compares to You. This one came out the year before, 00:16:40.629 --> 00:16:43.610 but Pump Up the Jam. Pump Up the Jam. Pump it 00:16:43.610 --> 00:16:46.429 up. Yep. I like that song. Yep. It's a good song. 00:16:46.769 --> 00:16:50.250 An 89 song. Yep, but it was still killing it 00:16:50.250 --> 00:16:54.429 in 1990. Another one that came out in 1989 but 00:16:54.429 --> 00:16:56.710 was still on the top list was We Didn't Start 00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:59.409 the Fire by Billy Joel. We didn't start the fire. 00:16:59.629 --> 00:17:03.679 And then the last one I'll say, I guess, is Ice, 00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:08.599 Ice, baby. Do you remember how he did that? Stop, 00:17:08.619 --> 00:17:10.700 collaborate, and listen. Listen, Ice is back 00:17:10.700 --> 00:17:13.960 with a brand new edition. Something. You remember? 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:16.680 I remember this episode of something on VH1, 00:17:16.779 --> 00:17:19.160 or maybe it was MTV, but it was probably VH1, 00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:23.400 where they talked to him about it basically being 00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:25.640 under pressure by Queen and David Bowie. Oh, 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:28.529 yeah. And he was like, no, people say that, but 00:17:28.529 --> 00:17:30.710 that's wrong. Because theirs goes ding, ding, 00:17:30.710 --> 00:17:33.230 ding, ding, ding, ding. And ours goes ding, ding, 00:17:33.230 --> 00:17:34.890 ding, ding, ding, ding. He did the same fucking 00:17:34.890 --> 00:17:39.750 thing. I was like, vanilla. Come on. Don't act 00:17:39.750 --> 00:17:43.269 like we're stupid. Anyways. Do you want to ice 00:17:43.269 --> 00:17:45.710 ice baby into today's show and hear about some 00:17:45.710 --> 00:17:49.210 assholes? Hey. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty 00:17:49.210 --> 00:17:51.589 and Dying, the show for millennials by millennials. 00:17:51.930 --> 00:17:54.710 We get real about chronic illness, burnout, nostalgia, 00:17:54.970 --> 00:17:58.130 and why we aren't exactly thriving. If that sounds 00:17:58.130 --> 00:18:00.450 like you, join us every Thursday for new episodes. 00:18:00.549 --> 00:18:03.549 Now, back to the show. Are you ready? I'm so 00:18:03.549 --> 00:18:07.630 fucking ready. Are you ready for it? And I'm 00:18:07.630 --> 00:18:09.190 saying that purposefully because this has to 00:18:09.190 --> 00:18:11.410 do with Taylor Swift. Oh, is that a Taylor Swift? 00:18:11.930 --> 00:18:16.640 I'm sorry. It was a great. reference it was wasted 00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:19.420 on me i'm very sorry go ahead i'm ready am i 00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:22.599 the asshole probably for not staying home from 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:25.140 my heiress tour because my sister -in -law's 00:18:25.140 --> 00:18:28.200 mom died I'm currently on my flight to Indianapolis 00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:30.259 to see the Heiress Tour on Saturday. I bought 00:18:30.259 --> 00:18:32.380 tickets last year and have been booked and ready 00:18:32.380 --> 00:18:35.259 with my outfit, friendship bracelets, etc. Wow, 00:18:35.319 --> 00:18:37.619 okay. I have... Oh, people go all out. I mean, 00:18:37.619 --> 00:18:40.220 I've seen a few, like, videos, but... Yeah. I 00:18:40.220 --> 00:18:42.359 made friendship bracelets to go see the movie 00:18:42.359 --> 00:18:45.279 in theaters. Is... Why? Is it a thing? It's a 00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.259 lyric. Oh, is it? Okay. Anyways, I have been 00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:50.359 looking forward to this so much as someone who 00:18:50.359 --> 00:18:52.460 has been a fan since Red, which is an album. 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:55.440 I... That I know. Okay. My sister -in -law... 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:59.799 Grace told the family last night that her mom 00:18:59.799 --> 00:19:02.400 died. They usually use fake names. I hope so. 00:19:02.599 --> 00:19:06.000 This is truly heartbreaking. I lost my dad when 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:08.319 I was 20, so I do understand. I went over after 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:11.079 work to be with them and also did their laundry 00:19:11.079 --> 00:19:13.660 for them and fixed them dinner. Before I left, 00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:16.000 I prepared a bunch of wraps to eat and some casseroles. 00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:18.700 I was there until 2am and had barely slept. I 00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:20.519 got a call this morning from Grace asking if 00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:22.240 I could come over and spend the morning with 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:24.400 her. I told her that unfortunately I had a few 00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:42.839 things Okay. I told her that I'm so sorry and 00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:44.900 that when I get back, I will take off a few days 00:19:44.900 --> 00:19:47.279 to be with her if she needs, but that this is 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:49.259 something I have been looking forward to and 00:19:49.259 --> 00:19:51.160 also my friends coming with me are counting on 00:19:51.160 --> 00:19:53.500 me for things like hotel, rental car, etc. She 00:19:53.500 --> 00:19:55.700 got angry and told me that I was a horrible sister 00:19:55.700 --> 00:19:57.759 -in -law and that she hopes when my mom dies, 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.160 everyone abandons me too. I know this is a shock 00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:03.500 and grief talking, so I'm truly not mad at her. 00:20:03.619 --> 00:20:05.400 When my dad died, I said some pretty chaotic 00:20:05.400 --> 00:20:07.680 things too, but as I'm sitting on this flight, 00:20:07.740 --> 00:20:10.220 I feel so bad. I did everything I could. Everything 00:20:10.220 --> 00:20:12.380 I could think of before leaving to make the day, 00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:16.079 day -to -day of life a little bit easier for 00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:17.880 them. There won't be a funeral, so there's no 00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:20.619 big planning involved. Am I the asshole for still 00:20:20.619 --> 00:20:22.500 going on this trip despite my sister -in -law 00:20:22.500 --> 00:20:24.799 really not having a lot of other people to be 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:28.200 there for her? It's her brother's wife. Okay. 00:20:28.660 --> 00:20:31.799 That's how it's, it's not like she married into 00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:35.500 their family. She, the sister -in -law married 00:20:35.500 --> 00:20:37.400 into her family. I think that's important to 00:20:37.400 --> 00:20:41.390 note. That's, yeah. Okay. And the brother is 00:20:41.390 --> 00:20:44.329 with her. Okay. So they're still married. They're 00:20:44.329 --> 00:20:47.470 still married. She has a support. I mean, my 00:20:47.470 --> 00:20:49.829 instinct is no, you're not the asshole. Like. 00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:54.480 Okay. But like people spend thousands of dollars 00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:57.819 on these tickets, flights, hotels. Like she's 00:20:57.819 --> 00:21:00.579 out a lot of money if she just cancels. That's 00:21:00.579 --> 00:21:02.740 kind of what I'm like, if it was just a concert 00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:04.180 that you were just going to go to for the heck 00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:06.880 of it. It was, it was like, I don't know where 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:08.440 you didn't have to travel an hour up the road. 00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:10.680 You're just driving to it. You know, then I could 00:21:10.680 --> 00:21:13.279 see, okay, maybe I'll cancel this. Right. If 00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:15.579 it's like your favorite artist, you're out a 00:21:15.579 --> 00:21:18.359 lot of money. You have other people. She said 00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:20.180 she had other friends that were traveling as 00:21:20.180 --> 00:21:22.559 well. And everybody sort of coordinated a big 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:26.680 effort. I can understand not wanting to cancel 00:21:26.680 --> 00:21:29.039 that. Right. And let everybody else down. Right. 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:30.759 I understand you're letting another person down. 00:21:30.859 --> 00:21:34.440 Sure. I know that I don't want to like talk shit 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:36.299 too much about the sister -in -law because I 00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:39.240 understand that she's grieving. And I, you know, 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:41.339 I feel terrible to, you know, to lose your mother. 00:21:41.380 --> 00:21:43.980 That's awful. It's a little wild to me that she 00:21:43.980 --> 00:21:46.390 called herself an orphan. Well, I guess her dad 00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:50.609 said to. That's not what I mean. She's clearly 00:21:50.609 --> 00:21:53.529 an adult. Correct. Okay, little orphan Annie, 00:21:53.690 --> 00:21:56.650 you are not. You're old enough to be married. 00:21:56.789 --> 00:21:59.589 You're a grown -up. You're not an orphan. I'm 00:21:59.589 --> 00:22:01.930 not saying that it's like, okay, you lost your 00:22:01.930 --> 00:22:05.529 parents. That's terrible. But an orphan is a 00:22:05.529 --> 00:22:09.029 child without parents. So you're saying Batman's 00:22:09.029 --> 00:22:11.950 not an orphan? He lost his parents when he was 00:22:11.950 --> 00:22:14.960 a child. If you lose your parents when you're 00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:19.200 35, it's terrible, but you're not an orphan. 00:22:19.859 --> 00:22:22.019 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't know. 00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:23.559 I understand she's upset, though, so I don't 00:22:23.559 --> 00:22:25.079 want to, like, shit on her for that. It's just, 00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:27.380 that's a little bit. It's a lot. That's a wild 00:22:27.380 --> 00:22:30.140 thing to say, just hearing it. But there's not 00:22:30.140 --> 00:22:32.799 a funeral. No, there's no funeral. It's not, 00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:37.140 again, it's not her mother -in -law that's died. 00:22:37.259 --> 00:22:41.460 Right. I get that they're close, but, like, she'll 00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:45.359 be back. In a couple days! Like, what? I don't, 00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:46.839 I guess I don't think the asshole, because, like, 00:22:46.859 --> 00:22:49.019 what do you want? She did all the stuff for you. 00:22:49.140 --> 00:22:51.240 Yeah, like, she prepped you meals, she, like, 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:52.920 made sure you were taken care of. She stayed 00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:54.819 with you all night, and, like, with that initial 00:22:54.819 --> 00:22:57.900 shock and grieving, and I don't think she's gonna, 00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.859 like, never fuck with you again once she comes 00:23:00.859 --> 00:23:03.680 back. I mean, it's just - And you have your husband. 00:23:04.359 --> 00:23:06.859 Yes. Now, if it were like the husband that was 00:23:06.859 --> 00:23:08.559 like, oh, I'm still going on my camping trip 00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:11.200 with the bros. Absolutely different. Absolutely 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:14.839 different. But this is sister -in -law. Not directly 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:19.420 related to the person who died. Spent probably 00:23:19.420 --> 00:23:23.059 thousands of dollars on this trip. but still 00:23:23.059 --> 00:23:26.019 made time and like did not sleep to make sure 00:23:26.019 --> 00:23:28.039 you were taken care of. Yeah. I don't think she's 00:23:28.039 --> 00:23:29.400 the answer. I don't think so either. I mean, 00:23:29.420 --> 00:23:33.319 I guess it's. I can understand feeling like left 00:23:33.319 --> 00:23:36.799 and abandoned just because like. I'm a horrible 00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.819 person to talk about this with because, like, 00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:41.579 my mom's dead and I make jokes about it. I think 00:23:41.579 --> 00:23:42.599 you're the best person to talk about it. For 00:23:42.599 --> 00:23:44.380 that exact reason. Like, I feel like an asshole 00:23:44.380 --> 00:23:45.680 because, yeah, both my parents are alive. I think 00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:47.619 I went to work when I found out that mom died. 00:23:47.819 --> 00:23:50.240 I just think it's, and I'm not saying that it's 00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:52.279 wrong, like, I'll probably be a mess when I lose 00:23:52.279 --> 00:23:55.619 my mother. Like, if it were, like, tragic car 00:23:55.619 --> 00:23:58.579 accident, that's, I think, a little bit different. 00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:01.660 Yeah, but also... Like, unexpected, healthy person 00:24:01.660 --> 00:24:03.660 just all of a sudden, like, is dead the next 00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:06.619 day. Yeah. I can understand that being like super 00:24:06.619 --> 00:24:09.200 traumatic and not wanting to like, like being 00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:12.559 scared almost of this person traveling after 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:15.220 your mom just died from like a car accident or 00:24:15.220 --> 00:24:16.700 something. Yeah, that would add another layer 00:24:16.700 --> 00:24:18.720 to it for sure. You're right. But I'm just making 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.859 things up at this point. I have no idea. Well, 00:24:20.940 --> 00:24:23.160 and I think it's different. Like you weren't 00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:26.440 as close with your mom. I can understand. I'm 00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:28.839 really close to my mom, right? So whenever that 00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:30.920 happens, it's going to be devastating to me. 00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:32.400 It's going to be absolutely devastating. And 00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:34.460 I am going to want support and whatever, but 00:24:34.460 --> 00:24:37.640 I don't know. I guess I wouldn't expect people 00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:40.579 to drop what they're doing. Their whole lives 00:24:40.579 --> 00:24:43.380 for days and days and days. If you were able 00:24:43.380 --> 00:24:46.420 to come and help me sort through a few things 00:24:46.420 --> 00:24:49.759 or just be there with me or whatever, I wouldn't 00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:52.569 expect you to take two weeks off of work. To 00:24:52.569 --> 00:24:55.430 hold my hand and pet my hair. You also wouldn't 00:24:55.430 --> 00:24:57.490 like that. No, don't touch me that much. But 00:24:57.490 --> 00:25:00.930 like, and I, again, I have a spouse. I have a 00:25:00.930 --> 00:25:03.609 partner like who I would expect to do those things. 00:25:03.690 --> 00:25:06.269 Yeah. To take time to, I wouldn't expect just 00:25:06.269 --> 00:25:11.529 like anybody to. Like I, like say I had a good, 00:25:11.589 --> 00:25:13.710 mom was alive, had a good relationship with her. 00:25:13.769 --> 00:25:17.750 Right. I wouldn't expect Mike's. stepsister gab. 00:25:17.990 --> 00:25:19.750 Yeah. To drop what she's doing to come to me. 00:25:19.789 --> 00:25:21.069 Even though you guys are close. Even though we're 00:25:21.069 --> 00:25:23.250 close, I would expect like maybe a phone call, 00:25:23.369 --> 00:25:26.390 a FaceTime, conversations, texting, like, are 00:25:26.390 --> 00:25:28.549 you okay? Do you need anything? Yeah. But I'm 00:25:28.549 --> 00:25:30.049 not going to like tell her to stop what she's 00:25:30.049 --> 00:25:32.369 doing. No. And that's because that's what Mike's 00:25:32.369 --> 00:25:35.369 there for. Like if you did a fraction of what 00:25:35.369 --> 00:25:37.869 that this girl apparently did, like with the 00:25:37.869 --> 00:25:39.569 food and the coming over and staying all night, 00:25:39.690 --> 00:25:43.019 I would be. grateful for that. So thrilled. Yeah. 00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:44.460 I would be so grateful for that. I wouldn't have 00:25:44.460 --> 00:25:46.700 to worry about cooking for a while. Like I probably 00:25:46.700 --> 00:25:49.500 wouldn't want to. Yeah. Yeah. No. I think she 00:25:49.500 --> 00:25:53.519 went above and beyond and did what she could. 00:25:53.859 --> 00:25:56.640 Yeah. And just is now leaving for a couple days. 00:25:56.660 --> 00:25:58.299 And it's not like she's skipping the funeral 00:25:58.299 --> 00:26:00.940 for a concert. Right. So I don't think she's 00:26:00.940 --> 00:26:02.980 the asshole. I really don't. Did people agree? 00:26:03.690 --> 00:26:06.009 Not the asshole. Her wishing your mom dies and 00:26:06.009 --> 00:26:07.690 everyone leaves you crosses a line, especially 00:26:07.690 --> 00:26:10.009 when she's your brother's wife and not yours. 00:26:10.069 --> 00:26:12.470 She's toxic. I mean, I don't, like I said, I 00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.089 don't want to, I think it's a wild thing to say. 00:26:15.130 --> 00:26:16.970 I think she said a few wild things, but I understand 00:26:16.970 --> 00:26:19.130 that she's grieving and she's hurt and she probably 00:26:19.130 --> 00:26:24.569 didn't mean those things. So, I don't know. I'm 00:26:24.569 --> 00:26:27.049 not trying to shit all over this girl for reacting 00:26:27.049 --> 00:26:30.309 poorly, but I just, I don't think that the poster 00:26:30.309 --> 00:26:32.680 is the asshole. No. I don't think that this girl 00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:34.759 necessarily is an asshole. Yeah, a lot of the 00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:36.559 comments are just like, not the asshole. She's 00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:38.900 got her husband, which is your brother, and her 00:26:38.900 --> 00:26:42.900 mother -in -law. Yeah. To comfort her, at least. 00:26:43.059 --> 00:26:44.779 I'm sure she has friends. Does she have friends? 00:26:45.140 --> 00:26:47.240 Her grief is not your responsibility. Exactly. 00:26:47.259 --> 00:26:49.640 Like, you did a lot. You'll probably continue 00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:53.380 to do a lot. Yeah, and she also, someone said, 00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:55.220 not the asshole. You aren't her significant other. 00:26:55.519 --> 00:26:58.349 You're not her sibling. Right. That would be 00:26:58.349 --> 00:26:59.950 different. That would be different. Your parents 00:26:59.950 --> 00:27:02.950 didn't die. No one even directly related to you 00:27:02.950 --> 00:27:04.950 died. It's weird for her to assume you wouldn't 00:27:04.950 --> 00:27:07.210 go on to your very expensive once -in -a -lifetime 00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:09.990 trip because her not related to your parents 00:27:09.990 --> 00:27:12.690 died. Yeah, it's not like I always thought I'd 00:27:12.690 --> 00:27:14.369 spend the Saturday at the trampoline park, no 00:27:14.369 --> 00:27:17.329 problem. This is a big deal. This is a big trip 00:27:17.329 --> 00:27:20.069 that's got other people involved. It's not the 00:27:20.069 --> 00:27:21.670 asshole. They said if your brother didn't drop 00:27:21.670 --> 00:27:24.069 what he was doing, that's possibly a red flag, 00:27:24.170 --> 00:27:27.309 but not you. Or if it was your... sister -in 00:27:27.309 --> 00:27:31.329 -law like you married into that family your husband 00:27:31.329 --> 00:27:35.569 or wife's mother died then yeah i'd be like okay 00:27:35.569 --> 00:27:37.970 well this is different that that would be a different 00:27:37.970 --> 00:27:40.450 thing yeah but it's not that ready for another 00:27:40.450 --> 00:27:43.960 one yeah Am I the asshole for pouring my boyfriend's 00:27:43.960 --> 00:27:46.519 raw milk down the drain because I found out it's 00:27:46.519 --> 00:27:49.079 dangerous? So I recently found out that my boyfriend 00:27:49.079 --> 00:27:51.759 has been buying and drinking raw, unpasteurized 00:27:51.759 --> 00:27:54.319 milk. He grew up on a farm, and apparently his 00:27:54.319 --> 00:27:56.059 family always drank it straight from the cow. 00:27:56.440 --> 00:27:58.099 He's been doing the same thing ever since we 00:27:58.099 --> 00:28:00.720 moved in together. At first, I didn't think much 00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:02.859 of it. I'm a vegan, so I never drank it myself. 00:28:03.220 --> 00:28:05.720 But I started doing some research after I saw 00:28:05.720 --> 00:28:07.859 on the label that it literally says not for human 00:28:07.859 --> 00:28:10.930 consumption. Apparently raw milk can carry harmful 00:28:10.930 --> 00:28:13.569 bacteria, salmonella, E. coli, listeria, blah, 00:28:13.630 --> 00:28:15.670 blah, blah. I freaked out when I read that and 00:28:15.670 --> 00:28:17.609 I don't want him to get sick or expose me to 00:28:17.609 --> 00:28:20.609 something dangerous. So when I saw a fresh bottle 00:28:20.609 --> 00:28:22.750 in our fridge yesterday, I panicked and poured 00:28:22.750 --> 00:28:24.789 the entire bottle down the drain because I thought 00:28:24.789 --> 00:28:26.650 it was the safest thing to do. When my boyfriend 00:28:26.650 --> 00:28:28.549 got home, he immediately noticed and was pissed. 00:28:28.710 --> 00:28:30.869 He said he spent a lot of money on that milk 00:28:30.869 --> 00:28:32.369 and he's been drinking it for years without a 00:28:32.369 --> 00:28:34.609 problem. He accused me of not trusting him and 00:28:34.609 --> 00:28:36.609 said I had no right to throw something away because 00:28:36.609 --> 00:28:53.829 he enjoys it and because I did. I think they're 00:28:53.829 --> 00:28:56.230 kind of both assholes. I think she's the asshole. 00:28:56.849 --> 00:28:59.650 But he also didn't have to react that way. Yeah, 00:28:59.650 --> 00:29:02.670 well... I don't know though. Like, like should 00:29:02.670 --> 00:29:05.529 she have went about it differently and said, 00:29:05.670 --> 00:29:07.210 okay, I see this fresh bottle. Let me have a 00:29:07.210 --> 00:29:08.930 conversation with him about it. Yeah. Let's be 00:29:08.930 --> 00:29:12.390 fucking adults here. Yeah. Um, and say, I've 00:29:12.390 --> 00:29:15.509 read this information. The bottle literally says 00:29:15.509 --> 00:29:18.369 not for human consumption. I'm worried. I don't 00:29:18.369 --> 00:29:20.589 think you should be drinking this. Yeah. But 00:29:20.589 --> 00:29:23.450 I also don't think he should. Yeah. She threw 00:29:23.450 --> 00:29:26.130 it away. Whatever. Like, I don't think he reacted 00:29:26.130 --> 00:29:28.710 well either. I mean, maybe he didn't, but I think. 00:29:29.180 --> 00:29:30.980 It's not like he just bought this out of nowhere 00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:33.299 and you freaked out. Like, apparently he's been 00:29:33.299 --> 00:29:36.519 buying this. You just realized that it's not... 00:29:36.519 --> 00:29:38.859 For human consumption. Yeah, or it's like a... 00:29:38.859 --> 00:29:41.160 And I know what this is. Like, it's not for human 00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:44.099 consumption. It's not... It is dangerous, whatever. 00:29:44.200 --> 00:29:47.220 But he's been doing this a long time. And you 00:29:47.220 --> 00:29:49.779 just didn't know all that stuff. And now that 00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:51.240 you know, you're just gonna throw it out. It 00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:53.420 has very, like... Did you see that video that 00:29:53.420 --> 00:29:55.339 went around probably a couple months ago at this 00:29:55.339 --> 00:29:57.400 point? It was like... don't invite me to your 00:29:57.400 --> 00:29:59.460 house because I'll pour all your pop out down 00:29:59.460 --> 00:30:01.579 the drain. And this lady was visiting her friend 00:30:01.579 --> 00:30:04.500 and they had like cans of Pepsi or whatever. 00:30:04.700 --> 00:30:08.220 And she was literally dumping her friend's groceries, 00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:11.019 her friend's pop down the drain. I would have 00:30:11.019 --> 00:30:13.920 been real pissed. Yeah. It has that kind of vibes 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:16.259 for me. You don't want to drink that. You don't 00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:18.359 want to buy that for your, that's fine. But you, 00:30:18.460 --> 00:30:20.759 to not just say, hey, don't do this to someone. 00:30:21.529 --> 00:30:24.369 But to go an extra mile and pour their money 00:30:24.369 --> 00:30:27.089 down the drain and take their choice away from 00:30:27.089 --> 00:30:30.450 doing it to themselves down the drain is kind 00:30:30.450 --> 00:30:32.950 of wild to me. Like, that's asshole -ish behavior 00:30:32.950 --> 00:30:35.890 to me. Yeah. And it's not like he's making you 00:30:35.890 --> 00:30:39.750 drink it. No. I think the reason why I'm just 00:30:39.750 --> 00:30:42.789 like, eh, with both. Yeah. Is because, like, 00:30:42.890 --> 00:30:44.970 yeah, she was an asshole for dumping it out. 00:30:45.029 --> 00:30:47.450 But, like, it was rooted in, like, oh, I just 00:30:47.450 --> 00:30:50.470 figured this out. Like, I'm concerned. It's rooted 00:30:50.470 --> 00:30:52.910 in concern and not rooted in I can't believe 00:30:52.910 --> 00:30:55.049 he would do this. Like, I'm going to get back 00:30:55.049 --> 00:30:56.809 at him. You know what I mean? I understand that. 00:30:56.890 --> 00:30:58.589 And I get what you're saying. Like, I don't think 00:30:58.589 --> 00:31:01.269 her intentions were to be an asshole. No. But 00:31:01.269 --> 00:31:03.730 if she would have stopped for, like, five seconds. 00:31:03.769 --> 00:31:05.650 Yeah. And thought, maybe I'll just have a conversation. 00:31:07.089 --> 00:31:09.349 Yeah. A conversation first. Something different 00:31:09.349 --> 00:31:12.769 than that. But yeah, like again, because it's 00:31:12.769 --> 00:31:14.190 not like he just brought this weird thing home 00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:15.730 that she's never seen before. He's been buying 00:31:15.730 --> 00:31:17.309 this the whole time they've been together. Yeah. 00:31:17.369 --> 00:31:19.210 He's been drinking this his whole life. Also, 00:31:19.329 --> 00:31:21.230 probably doesn't taste good, right? I don't know. 00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:23.690 I've never had it. I'm not like a milk gal. Me 00:31:23.690 --> 00:31:25.549 neither. Like I cook with milk and like I'll 00:31:25.549 --> 00:31:28.410 eat cereal. Yeah. But I buy non -dairy milk. 00:31:28.450 --> 00:31:30.789 I have pretty much my entire adult life. But 00:31:30.789 --> 00:31:34.069 if that's what this dude wants to do and he's 00:31:34.069 --> 00:31:36.509 not making you do it. He's not cooking with it 00:31:36.509 --> 00:31:38.430 something you're both eating. But he also grew 00:31:38.430 --> 00:31:40.569 up on a farm. So like out of everyone, he would 00:31:40.569 --> 00:31:43.210 know if he can or cannot drink it. This is the 00:31:43.210 --> 00:31:44.990 thing. Some people choose to drink it anyway. 00:31:45.130 --> 00:31:47.990 You can buy it. Some places it's not. Just like 00:31:47.990 --> 00:31:50.450 raw cookie dough. I mean, it's a little different 00:31:50.450 --> 00:31:52.069 than that. Yeah, but if you're eating like raw 00:31:52.069 --> 00:31:54.869 eggs, that's still not good for you, but people 00:31:54.869 --> 00:31:56.829 can. But it's a similar thing. So some people 00:31:56.829 --> 00:31:59.910 choose to do that. And I think that's, if you 00:31:59.910 --> 00:32:02.069 want to do that. Yeah, you're buying your choice, 00:32:02.190 --> 00:32:04.569 right? I mean, I think of it almost like I'm 00:32:04.569 --> 00:32:07.589 in a relationship where I'm a vegetarian or pescatarian, 00:32:07.609 --> 00:32:10.170 whatever, and Justin is not. And if he brought 00:32:10.170 --> 00:32:13.970 home a chicken and I was like, murder, and threw 00:32:13.970 --> 00:32:16.690 it in the garbage, that would be so fucked up 00:32:16.690 --> 00:32:18.569 of me, right? Because I can't force somebody 00:32:18.569 --> 00:32:21.730 else to have my views about what I consume and 00:32:21.730 --> 00:32:25.269 what I don't. Yeah. Just like... If he saw all 00:32:25.269 --> 00:32:28.250 my, like, meatless shit and threw it away because 00:32:28.250 --> 00:32:30.369 he was like, this is stupid. Why would you eat 00:32:30.369 --> 00:32:32.190 fake meat when you can eat the real thing? Yeah, 00:32:32.269 --> 00:32:33.910 like, that would be fucked up of him, right? 00:32:34.009 --> 00:32:36.569 So, I don't know. For me, this is, she's the 00:32:36.569 --> 00:32:39.130 asshole because don't try to control another 00:32:39.130 --> 00:32:41.390 person. And if it is out of concern, have a conversation. 00:32:41.630 --> 00:32:43.849 Yeah. Have a conversation. We're all adults here. 00:32:44.009 --> 00:32:47.660 Yeah. But I do think that both of them. Yeah, 00:32:47.700 --> 00:32:49.900 so this one had a little thing on it that said 00:32:49.900 --> 00:32:52.839 they've been branded as the asshole by the comments. 00:32:53.019 --> 00:32:55.599 I'll read a few here. You're the asshole. You 00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:57.980 panicked and poured it down the drain. What was 00:32:57.980 --> 00:33:02.160 it going to do to you? You could have left it 00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:04.380 in the fridge and then told him you had a concern 00:33:04.380 --> 00:33:06.759 and discussed it like a normal person instead 00:33:06.759 --> 00:33:09.799 of reacting to a bottle of milk as if it was 00:33:09.799 --> 00:33:11.960 going to mug you. That's actually hilarious. 00:33:12.730 --> 00:33:14.430 You're the asshole. You can talk to him about 00:33:14.430 --> 00:33:17.369 your concerns. You can even decide you don't 00:33:17.369 --> 00:33:19.109 want to date someone who's willing to risk their 00:33:19.109 --> 00:33:21.650 health in that way. But you can't just throw 00:33:21.650 --> 00:33:25.630 out his stuff. Yeah. So like now the only reason 00:33:25.630 --> 00:33:27.890 I would see you throwing someone's stuff out 00:33:27.890 --> 00:33:31.430 is if say your boyfriend used to be an alcoholic 00:33:31.430 --> 00:33:36.730 and he's been sober for six months and then you 00:33:36.730 --> 00:33:40.089 find alcohol under the bed and you pour it out. 00:33:40.130 --> 00:33:41.680 That's what I would do. That's not what I would 00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.819 do. Oh, well, we poured out mom's alcohol, so. 00:33:44.059 --> 00:33:45.839 No, we did that with dad too, but it doesn't 00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:48.019 fucking work. If already, if they've said they're 00:33:48.019 --> 00:33:50.279 sober and they're clearly not, and we have an 00:33:50.279 --> 00:33:51.900 agreement and that's a deal breaker for me, then 00:33:51.900 --> 00:33:54.359 I'm just fucking leaving. That's fair. Have your 00:33:54.359 --> 00:33:57.259 vodka. Enjoy, buddy. I'm out. But yeah, most 00:33:57.259 --> 00:33:58.859 of these are just, you're the asshole. Don't 00:33:58.859 --> 00:34:01.579 ruin other people's property. You're the asshole. 00:34:01.740 --> 00:34:03.759 Being a vegan, I never drank it myself. So mind 00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:05.420 your fucking business. I think that's pretty 00:34:05.420 --> 00:34:07.259 fair. It's up to him what he puts in his body. 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.440 It's just like if somebody has like... Alcohol, 00:34:10.599 --> 00:34:12.699 sugar, caffeine. You don't agree with it. Yeah. 00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:14.920 There are things that Justin wants to eat or 00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:16.800 things that I want to eat or drink or whatever 00:34:16.800 --> 00:34:20.119 that we are like, I could never. Yeah. But I'm 00:34:20.119 --> 00:34:23.139 not going to impose that on him. Yeah. I think, 00:34:23.219 --> 00:34:25.340 asshole. Yeah. But I can see your point, too. 00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:28.400 Like, he didn't react great either, but I can 00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:31.559 understand him being upset. Yeah, I can. Here's 00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:35.239 the thing about having, like, a mature relationship. 00:34:36.420 --> 00:34:39.360 Yeah, but. Sometimes we all... Yeah, I mean, 00:34:39.380 --> 00:34:43.119 there's one thing to, like, react... Obviously, 00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:45.099 I've reacted poorly to Mike, and he's reacted 00:34:45.099 --> 00:34:47.840 poorly to me. But, like, in something so simple 00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:49.860 as just throwing something away that shouldn't 00:34:49.860 --> 00:34:51.920 have been thrown away, like, if Mike yelled at 00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:53.889 me for that... I would have been really pissed 00:34:53.889 --> 00:34:56.309 off at him. Like it should still should be a 00:34:56.309 --> 00:34:59.110 calm conversation. But I think that that's different 00:34:59.110 --> 00:35:02.269 as like an accident, right? Like if I accidentally 00:35:02.269 --> 00:35:04.670 threw away like a piece of mail or something, 00:35:04.789 --> 00:35:07.789 but I, if I purposely destroy something that 00:35:07.789 --> 00:35:11.489 you purchased and I do know that buying unpasteurized 00:35:11.489 --> 00:35:14.230 milk, it's not like buying a jug of milk from 00:35:14.230 --> 00:35:16.730 the store. It's expensive. You have to pay a 00:35:16.730 --> 00:35:19.949 lot of money and you probably, me too. But if 00:35:19.949 --> 00:35:21.610 that's what he wants to do and it's his money 00:35:21.610 --> 00:35:23.889 and he's like, It's my money and I want it now. 00:35:24.090 --> 00:35:26.250 Yeah, I can, that's where I'm like, you did a 00:35:26.250 --> 00:35:28.610 purposeful thing, so. Yeah. I'm not saying he 00:35:28.610 --> 00:35:30.389 did the right thing reacting that way, but I 00:35:30.389 --> 00:35:31.989 can understand him getting frustrated. Yeah. 00:35:32.030 --> 00:35:34.050 Anyways, hit me with another one. Okay, so this 00:35:34.050 --> 00:35:36.809 is not, am I the asshole, but would I be the 00:35:36.809 --> 00:35:41.989 asshole? Ooh. Okay, so it's titled, would I be 00:35:41.989 --> 00:35:45.050 the asshole tracked with AirTag? So I found an 00:35:45.050 --> 00:35:47.550 air tag today in my car. Turns out belongs to 00:35:47.550 --> 00:35:51.250 my wife. Not a surprise. To preface this, I have 00:35:51.250 --> 00:35:53.510 given no reason to be tracked. I go to work 6 00:35:53.510 --> 00:35:56.530 a .m., get home by 6 p .m. It's my typical routine 00:35:56.530 --> 00:35:59.409 day after day. I'm hardworking. I'm a hardworking 00:35:59.409 --> 00:36:01.710 family man. Oh, my God. So you're the worst. 00:36:02.909 --> 00:36:04.869 That's the most toxic man you've ever met. I'm 00:36:04.869 --> 00:36:07.469 a hardworking family man and we have kids that 00:36:07.469 --> 00:36:09.769 she stays home with and works part time by choice 00:36:09.769 --> 00:36:11.750 to get out of the house. This is not the first 00:36:11.750 --> 00:36:14.389 time or second I found something like this. Maybe 00:36:14.389 --> 00:36:17.389 a year ago it was a voice recorder. When confronted 00:36:17.389 --> 00:36:19.670 there was no good reason for it and somehow it 00:36:19.670 --> 00:36:22.329 turned into I was wrong for making her feel like 00:36:22.329 --> 00:36:24.750 she needed to do it. I do everything to make 00:36:24.750 --> 00:36:27.389 her feel secure in our relationship and not interested 00:36:27.389 --> 00:36:30.269 in any other ladies. I don't like that he wrote 00:36:30.269 --> 00:36:33.389 that. uh to that end due to work i rarely have 00:36:33.389 --> 00:36:35.949 time for friends or going out in general all 00:36:35.949 --> 00:36:37.949 i all my extra time is spent with the kids and 00:36:37.949 --> 00:36:39.949 family together we do make it a point to spend 00:36:39.949 --> 00:36:42.989 date nights or couple times as well that she 00:36:42.989 --> 00:36:46.599 feels we need and i agree she's the type that 00:36:46.599 --> 00:36:48.239 after confronted will not take accountability 00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:51.400 and deflect that's in every argument i have just 00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:53.880 accepted that at this point so i took the battery 00:36:53.880 --> 00:36:55.860 out of the tag i will probably have to confront 00:36:55.860 --> 00:36:58.420 her about it because i doubt she'll fess up would 00:36:58.420 --> 00:37:01.460 i be the asshole if i give an ultimatum and this 00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:04.539 that this has to stop? Or do I begin to track 00:37:04.539 --> 00:37:07.679 her and look into her phone for what she's doing? 00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.260 I feel usually it's the guilty person that does 00:37:10.260 --> 00:37:13.139 things like this other one other item that may 00:37:13.139 --> 00:37:15.519 be relevant. I don't have social media at all, 00:37:15.539 --> 00:37:18.119 not my thing. And she can't seem to live without 00:37:18.119 --> 00:37:21.280 posting all day. And it drives me crazy. As someone 00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:25.800 who was in a relationship. With someone who was 00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:29.300 cheating on me, the amount of times that I was 00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:34.659 told that I was cheating when I was not was astronomical. 00:37:34.940 --> 00:37:37.800 To the point where the parents came out to the 00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:41.579 car and apologized for him and said, we know 00:37:41.579 --> 00:37:46.079 you're not doing anything. Um, okay. I don't, 00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:49.760 I don't love the options that he's giving. Yeah, 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:51.400 he should have better options. Yeah, like, would 00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:53.460 I be the asshole for either giving an ultimatum? 00:37:53.849 --> 00:37:57.130 Or tracking her instead. Well, the problem is, 00:37:57.269 --> 00:37:59.769 based on what he has been saying, he's already 00:37:59.769 --> 00:38:02.630 confronted her multiple times and she deflects 00:38:02.630 --> 00:38:04.630 and won't have the conversation with him. Yeah. 00:38:04.690 --> 00:38:07.929 So at this point, the conversations are not happening 00:38:07.929 --> 00:38:09.690 that he's trying to have when he's trying to 00:38:09.690 --> 00:38:11.849 be an adult about it. And if that's true, I get 00:38:11.849 --> 00:38:14.570 it. I don't know. There's something about the 00:38:14.570 --> 00:38:18.650 way that he, like, his phrasing here throughout 00:38:18.650 --> 00:38:21.329 and, like, the way he's talking that makes me 00:38:21.329 --> 00:38:24.599 feel like... he is a little bit of a problem. 00:38:24.679 --> 00:38:27.360 Like the way he talks about her and the way he's 00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:29.880 like, I'm doing all of this great stuff because 00:38:29.880 --> 00:38:32.380 I'm a great father and a husband. Yeah. And I'm 00:38:32.380 --> 00:38:34.500 a hardworking man and I don't look at the other 00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:37.940 ladies. And I don't, her concerns are outlandish 00:38:37.940 --> 00:38:39.699 and all she wants to do all day is be on social 00:38:39.699 --> 00:38:41.059 media and blah, blah, blah. I mean, that can 00:38:41.059 --> 00:38:42.940 be a problem. It can be, but we don't know that 00:38:42.940 --> 00:38:44.800 it is. Like, I don't know. There's part of what 00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.079 he's saying that makes it seem like. Not the 00:38:47.079 --> 00:38:50.340 asshole. He's Jesus Christ and she's the devil. 00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:53.340 Like. It feels like he's vilifying her a lot 00:38:53.340 --> 00:38:56.760 over little things, just, like, the sprinkling 00:38:56.760 --> 00:39:00.840 in there that makes me question, like, what have 00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:03.920 these conversations really been like? Yeah. Where 00:39:03.920 --> 00:39:05.840 he's tried to talk about this or what she's tried 00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:07.079 to talk about. Well, this is surface level. Based 00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:11.780 on this alone, I feel like it's okay to want 00:39:11.780 --> 00:39:13.940 to confront her and talk to her about this. He 00:39:13.940 --> 00:39:16.119 says ultimatum. I don't know if it should be 00:39:16.119 --> 00:39:18.800 like, you have to stop doing this or we'll have 00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:20.519 to get a divorce or whatever. But maybe like, 00:39:20.659 --> 00:39:22.880 we really need to deal with this. Like, if you 00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:24.960 don't stop, we'll go to counseling. Yeah, we 00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:26.780 need to really get to the root of why this keeps 00:39:26.780 --> 00:39:29.320 coming up. So I could see that kind of ultimatum. 00:39:29.320 --> 00:39:31.000 Like, let's actually deal with this, not giving 00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:33.340 her an out to just be like, whatever. I don't, 00:39:33.340 --> 00:39:36.599 I mean, if he wants to look into her social media 00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:39.320 or stuff, like, I'm okay with that. I think that's 00:39:39.320 --> 00:39:41.139 fine. But I don't think I would track her just 00:39:41.139 --> 00:39:43.559 for the hell of it. I'd track her. This is also 00:39:43.559 --> 00:39:45.579 the thing. I understand people will say that 00:39:45.579 --> 00:39:48.300 this is toxic and terrible. Oh, yeah. 100%. It 00:39:48.300 --> 00:39:51.360 is. But I also can understand, as someone who 00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:53.679 has been cheated on... Maybe not knowing is better. 00:39:54.139 --> 00:39:57.440 Well, not that. But, like, Justin gives me no 00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:58.860 reason to think that he's cheating on me ever. 00:39:59.059 --> 00:40:01.219 But occasionally, I'll be like, what are you 00:40:01.219 --> 00:40:03.440 doing? Let me see that. What are you doing? You 00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:05.340 know, like, I just need to... I don't know. It's 00:40:05.340 --> 00:40:07.119 like doing a gut check sometimes. Yeah, but you're 00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:08.940 not going to put an air tag in his car. No, that 00:40:08.940 --> 00:40:11.679 seems extreme. That seems absolutely extreme. 00:40:11.739 --> 00:40:15.000 So I understand why he's upset. But I don't think 00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:17.280 it's fair to be like, there has to be a reason 00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.159 why she feels this way. So why don't we get to 00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:22.920 the root of that? And maybe it is a past relationship 00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:25.360 where she's been. Or maybe she's cheating. Maybe 00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:27.099 she's cheating. Maybe it's a past relationship. 00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:29.239 Maybe he has cheated in the past. We don't know 00:40:29.239 --> 00:40:31.900 these things. But I think it's fair for him to 00:40:31.900 --> 00:40:34.760 want to get into the depths of that. And she 00:40:34.760 --> 00:40:38.420 is the asshole for tracking him with no reason. 00:40:38.940 --> 00:40:41.980 If there really is no reason. I just, I will 00:40:41.980 --> 00:40:43.940 always doubt that they're telling the truth. 00:40:44.199 --> 00:40:46.619 But maybe I'm the toxic problem. I don't know. 00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:49.199 I don't think he'd be the asshole for confronting 00:40:49.199 --> 00:40:51.969 her. I think he'd be the asshole for doing really 00:40:51.969 --> 00:40:54.969 petty shit. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. I 00:40:54.969 --> 00:40:57.289 guess it's hard to, but what did people say? 00:40:57.909 --> 00:40:59.949 Someone's like, my advice, get a good divorce 00:40:59.949 --> 00:41:02.409 lawyer and a good PI. Yeah, most likely she's 00:41:02.409 --> 00:41:04.530 cheating. Sounds like she's doing an awful lot 00:41:04.530 --> 00:41:06.909 of projection about this. And she totally could 00:41:06.909 --> 00:41:09.809 be, but it also could be something that's something 00:41:09.809 --> 00:41:11.829 with her self -esteem, something from her past 00:41:11.829 --> 00:41:14.170 that makes her jump to the worst case scenario. 00:41:14.389 --> 00:41:17.409 Like, I don't love this immediately vilifying 00:41:17.409 --> 00:41:21.070 her for having these insecurities and these concerns, 00:41:21.190 --> 00:41:23.710 but I'd love to know why. And maybe it is that 00:41:23.710 --> 00:41:26.010 she's projecting and cheating, but it could be 00:41:26.010 --> 00:41:28.230 something else. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. 00:41:28.289 --> 00:41:30.570 The majority is saying her reason for tracking 00:41:30.570 --> 00:41:32.030 you has less to do with what you're doing and 00:41:32.030 --> 00:41:34.130 what she is doing. And that's probably true. 00:41:34.809 --> 00:41:37.289 Someone's just like counseling or divorce. Yeah. 00:41:37.409 --> 00:41:40.889 I think regardless, obviously we don't know the 00:41:40.889 --> 00:41:43.269 ins and outs of their relationship based, based 00:41:43.269 --> 00:41:47.030 on this, like he's not necessarily the asshole, 00:41:47.190 --> 00:41:51.070 but they're, relationship is clearly toxic there's 00:41:51.070 --> 00:41:52.989 something there's something going on that we 00:41:52.989 --> 00:41:55.110 are missing and is not being explained yeah there's 00:41:55.110 --> 00:41:56.809 a push and pull in the way that he's talking 00:41:56.809 --> 00:42:00.230 about this that just makes me feel like there 00:42:00.230 --> 00:42:02.590 are some issues that go beyond her just doing 00:42:02.590 --> 00:42:04.869 this for no reason yeah unless she literally 00:42:04.869 --> 00:42:06.869 is just doing it for no reason which maybe she 00:42:06.869 --> 00:42:10.409 is but that's that's not usually the case with 00:42:10.409 --> 00:42:13.420 most people so like I would say it's fine to 00:42:13.420 --> 00:42:15.900 give her an ultimatum, but part of the ultimatum 00:42:15.900 --> 00:42:17.219 has to be... Should be, like, counseling or, 00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:19.340 like, something. We really need to deal with 00:42:19.340 --> 00:42:23.719 this. And if she can't, or if he can't, then, 00:42:23.780 --> 00:42:26.519 yeah. Get divorced. Whatever. Alright, you ready 00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:28.960 for another one from me? Yep. Alright, hang on, 00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.239 hang on, hang on. Am I the asshole for leaving 00:42:32.239 --> 00:42:34.960 my sister's wedding early after she called my 00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:41.360 career a hobby? Hmm. So I, 26 female, just got 00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:44.340 back from my sister's, 28, wedding last week. 00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:46.940 I'm still pretty upset about what happened, and 00:42:46.940 --> 00:42:48.420 I'm hoping y 'all can give me some perspective 00:42:48.420 --> 00:42:52.059 right now. Some background. My sister, Anna, 00:42:52.239 --> 00:42:54.500 and I have always had a complicated relationship. 00:42:55.219 --> 00:42:57.539 She's type A, always on top of everything, super 00:42:57.539 --> 00:43:00.219 successful, while I'm more laid back and creative. 00:43:00.739 --> 00:43:02.659 Sounds like me and my sister. Well, so maybe 00:43:02.659 --> 00:43:03.960 you'll have some good insight to this. I don't 00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:06.309 know. I'm an artist, and I recently started my 00:43:06.309 --> 00:43:08.289 own small business selling paintings and doing 00:43:08.289 --> 00:43:10.469 commissions. It's been slow, but it's starting 00:43:10.469 --> 00:43:12.230 to pick up, and I'm really proud of it. But my 00:43:12.230 --> 00:43:15.170 family, especially Anna, has always been a bit 00:43:15.170 --> 00:43:17.570 dismissive of my career choice. They don't get 00:43:17.570 --> 00:43:19.769 why I don't just go a traditional route like 00:43:19.769 --> 00:43:21.969 she did. Anyway, fast forward to the wedding. 00:43:22.090 --> 00:43:24.469 The ceremony was beautiful, and I was so happy 00:43:24.469 --> 00:43:26.329 for her, and I even helped out a lot with the 00:43:26.329 --> 00:43:28.170 planning, even though I wasn't the maid of honor 00:43:28.170 --> 00:43:31.130 or anything like that. i was doing my best to 00:43:31.130 --> 00:43:33.710 be there for her because despite everything she's 00:43:33.710 --> 00:43:36.829 my sister and i love her at the reception i got 00:43:36.829 --> 00:43:38.929 a moment alone with anna to congratulate her 00:43:38.929 --> 00:43:42.070 and i told her how amazing everything was and 00:43:42.070 --> 00:43:44.130 how happy i was for her and all that stuff and 00:43:44.130 --> 00:43:46.469 she just smiles and said thanks i'm surprised 00:43:46.469 --> 00:43:48.710 you actually made it i figured you'd be too busy 00:43:48.710 --> 00:43:51.269 with your little hobby business I was stunned. 00:43:51.409 --> 00:43:53.389 Like, did she really call my career a hobby? 00:43:53.530 --> 00:43:55.210 I just kind of laughed it off and said, it's 00:43:55.210 --> 00:43:57.829 not a hobby, it's my job. And she shrugged and 00:43:57.829 --> 00:44:00.190 said, well, it's not a real job, but I'm glad 00:44:00.190 --> 00:44:02.110 you're having fun with it. I didn't know what 00:44:02.110 --> 00:44:04.429 to say, so I just walked away. I tried to enjoy 00:44:04.429 --> 00:44:05.869 the rest of the night, but honestly, I couldn't 00:44:05.869 --> 00:44:07.710 shake off what she said. It felt like she was 00:44:07.710 --> 00:44:09.429 belittling everything that I've worked so hard 00:44:09.429 --> 00:44:12.050 for. So after dinner, I decided to just leave. 00:44:12.190 --> 00:44:14.590 I didn't say goodbye to anyone. I just grabbed 00:44:14.590 --> 00:44:36.579 my stuff and left. Well, first of all... As someone 00:44:36.579 --> 00:44:39.239 who had a wedding, I would not have realized 00:44:39.239 --> 00:44:41.360 if a single person left. I don't think you realized 00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:45.000 when I left. I did not realize when you left. 00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:49.579 I would not realize. We left so early. It's not 00:44:49.579 --> 00:44:51.780 because you offended me. It's because I dislike 00:44:51.780 --> 00:44:54.760 weddings. Yeah. And, I don't know, we were tired 00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:57.039 and we just want to go home. But, like, if you... 00:44:57.340 --> 00:45:00.760 If your family is, like, dismissive of, like, 00:45:00.820 --> 00:45:03.659 something that you love, that's just fucked up. 00:45:03.699 --> 00:45:06.199 And I think they're the assholes. I do, too. 00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:09.739 Here's what I don't like. It doesn't... It seems 00:45:09.739 --> 00:45:13.000 like the sisters are, like... That is a career. 00:45:13.219 --> 00:45:16.099 Thank you. And you can make a lot of money. Like 00:45:16.099 --> 00:45:18.059 I can understand in the beginning it seeming 00:45:18.059 --> 00:45:20.400 a little bit more like a hobby because like you're 00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:22.420 kind of trying to put your name out there. Like 00:45:22.420 --> 00:45:25.199 you're trying to like make it happen. That takes 00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:28.239 time. Like being an artist isn't like all of 00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:30.280 a sudden I'm going to be in a museum. You know, 00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:32.699 like it's way more than that. I can understand 00:45:32.699 --> 00:45:35.199 how it seems like, oh, I have an Etsy shop. That 00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:36.739 seems like a hobby because people do that as 00:45:36.739 --> 00:45:38.860 a hobby. Yeah. But it can also be your career. 00:45:39.019 --> 00:45:41.119 And that is fine. Yeah, well, here's the thing. 00:45:41.159 --> 00:45:42.699 Like, I don't know what their past is. I don't 00:45:42.699 --> 00:45:44.039 know if she's, like, mooched off of everyone 00:45:44.039 --> 00:45:45.380 because she doesn't want to get in. I don't know 00:45:45.380 --> 00:45:47.800 that. Yeah. But based on what I do know, it sounds 00:45:47.800 --> 00:45:50.679 like the sister just said some shit to say some 00:45:50.679 --> 00:45:52.280 shit. Yeah, because, like, that had nothing to 00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:54.380 do with her wedding. It had nothing to do, like, 00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:58.710 you're the little sister. Is coming to say, oh, 00:45:58.750 --> 00:46:00.590 my God, your wedding is so beautiful. Like, I 00:46:00.590 --> 00:46:03.570 hope you have a great time. Well, I'm glad that 00:46:03.570 --> 00:46:06.469 you came after, you know, not having a job. Fuck 00:46:06.469 --> 00:46:08.309 you. I thought you'd be so busy making bracelets. 00:46:08.650 --> 00:46:11.690 Yeah, like, the fuck? It was so out of left field 00:46:11.690 --> 00:46:15.309 for no reason. It was purposeful. So, yeah, fucking 00:46:15.309 --> 00:46:17.630 leave. That's what I think, too. It's like, I 00:46:17.630 --> 00:46:20.090 could understand if it was, like, a real conversation 00:46:20.090 --> 00:46:22.210 that just got out of hand. But it seems like 00:46:22.210 --> 00:46:24.269 this bitch just said some stuff. And to make 00:46:24.269 --> 00:46:26.780 you feel bad just for the heck of it, like. Yeah. 00:46:26.820 --> 00:46:28.980 So I would be upset too. I'd be like, what the 00:46:28.980 --> 00:46:31.039 fuck is this? And if she left after dinner, that's 00:46:31.039 --> 00:46:33.099 like half of the time. All that's left is like 00:46:33.099 --> 00:46:35.840 dancing and stuff. I also feel like if she stayed 00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:38.260 for the ceremony, the wedding ceremony. Well, 00:46:38.300 --> 00:46:40.460 cause that was, had already happened. Yeah. They're 00:46:40.460 --> 00:46:42.539 at the reception. I think the reception. And 00:46:42.539 --> 00:46:44.340 she stayed for dinner. Unless you're in the wedding 00:46:44.340 --> 00:46:47.219 party. Which she is. Yeah. No, she said she wasn't. 00:46:47.219 --> 00:46:49.079 She wasn't the maid of honor. Okay. But still. 00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:52.579 I was a bridesmaid at a wedding not too long 00:46:52.579 --> 00:46:54.340 ago and after the reception and there was nothing 00:46:54.340 --> 00:46:56.900 else planned. Right. And it was just dinner and 00:46:56.900 --> 00:46:58.719 dancing and whatever and stay as long as you 00:46:58.719 --> 00:47:00.659 want. After the cake was cut, the basic stuff, 00:47:00.820 --> 00:47:04.579 again, I left very early. I told my friend, the 00:47:04.579 --> 00:47:06.420 bride, that I was leaving. It might have been 00:47:06.420 --> 00:47:08.800 a little bit of an asshole move to not say goodbye. 00:47:09.839 --> 00:47:12.139 Yeah. Especially if you are in the wedding. Like 00:47:12.139 --> 00:47:14.119 I'm assuming she was in the wedding. Yeah. Like 00:47:14.119 --> 00:47:16.280 just because she wasn't the maid of honor doesn't 00:47:16.280 --> 00:47:18.099 mean she wasn't in it. Yeah. It is her sister. 00:47:18.139 --> 00:47:21.079 But I feel like at minimum she could have at 00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:23.260 least told her parents she left. Yeah. Yeah, 00:47:23.340 --> 00:47:25.239 I think that's maybe what I would have done. 00:47:25.260 --> 00:47:27.300 That's a little bit of an asshole for not saying 00:47:27.300 --> 00:47:30.360 goodbye to anyone and just peacing out. Yeah. 00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.719 But for leaving, you are not the asshole. Yeah. 00:47:32.760 --> 00:47:35.119 Because your sister came out of left field for 00:47:35.119 --> 00:47:37.800 no reason other than to hurt you. Yeah. I think 00:47:37.800 --> 00:47:39.539 it's fine to have been upset. I think it's fine 00:47:39.539 --> 00:47:43.119 to have won a left to leave. I mean, but I do 00:47:43.119 --> 00:47:46.019 think you could have diffused it and not made 00:47:46.019 --> 00:47:48.079 it seem like a big deal if you would have just 00:47:48.079 --> 00:47:50.619 said like, Oh, I shit my pants. I gotta go. Or 00:47:50.619 --> 00:47:55.050 anything else. Um, but yeah. Oh, I gotta go home. 00:47:55.230 --> 00:47:57.530 Oh, I don't feel so well. I think I'm gonna leave. 00:47:57.610 --> 00:47:59.289 And you could have not said that to your sister. 00:47:59.389 --> 00:48:00.909 You could have said that to your mom or your 00:48:00.909 --> 00:48:02.889 dad or whoever. Because 10 bucks your sister 00:48:02.889 --> 00:48:06.489 did not realize. No. That too. I don't, you didn't 00:48:06.489 --> 00:48:08.460 even know. Most people don't even, and especially 00:48:08.460 --> 00:48:10.340 assuming it was like a big wedding and she's 00:48:10.340 --> 00:48:11.679 talking about how beautiful it was and all these 00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:13.360 things. I'm assuming maybe it was a bigger wedding. 00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:14.559 I don't think most people would know this. We 00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:15.840 didn't even have that big of a wedding. And I 00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:17.679 did not know when people left. Cause you're so 00:48:17.679 --> 00:48:20.400 busy. So it's like, I could understand. Cause 00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:24.039 while like, it's all like, we're the hosts essentially. 00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:26.179 Yeah. So like we have to make rounds. We have 00:48:26.179 --> 00:48:27.980 to like talk to people, but we're still also 00:48:27.980 --> 00:48:32.159 trying to have a good time and drinking. it's 00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:34.380 a lot. So I could, I don't think she's the asshole 00:48:34.380 --> 00:48:37.039 for leaving. No, I don't think she overreacted. 00:48:37.099 --> 00:48:39.019 She could have handled it slightly differently, 00:48:39.059 --> 00:48:40.679 but I still don't think she's the asshole. I 00:48:40.679 --> 00:48:42.440 think you're right that the family's the family's 00:48:42.440 --> 00:48:45.010 asshole. Yeah, so let's see. Someone said, I 00:48:45.010 --> 00:48:47.710 always laugh when one angry person claims that 00:48:47.710 --> 00:48:50.170 the actions of another person leaving an event 00:48:50.170 --> 00:48:52.389 ruins the whole night. Because it couldn't. It 00:48:52.389 --> 00:48:54.170 could not possibly. Are they saying that that 00:48:54.170 --> 00:48:56.269 day would have only been perfect as long as you 00:48:56.269 --> 00:48:58.250 were in attendance and nobody else mattered? 00:48:58.809 --> 00:49:00.849 That's ridiculous. You should not even entertain 00:49:00.849 --> 00:49:03.190 the notion. You showed up, you made your congratulations, 00:49:03.230 --> 00:49:05.130 and you left. Tell your family they're the ones 00:49:05.130 --> 00:49:07.030 making it a big deal. All you did was slip out 00:49:07.030 --> 00:49:09.210 quietly. You didn't stage a scene or storm out. 00:49:09.369 --> 00:49:11.210 They're the assholes. Yeah, I feel like if she 00:49:11.210 --> 00:49:13.070 would have stayed and like, would have been upset, 00:49:13.309 --> 00:49:15.550 it would have caused problems too. I feel like 00:49:15.550 --> 00:49:17.250 this is a lose -lose. Yeah. She wouldn't have 00:49:17.250 --> 00:49:19.150 been having a good time and then her sister would 00:49:19.150 --> 00:49:21.309 be like, why aren't you having a good time? Yeah, 00:49:21.329 --> 00:49:23.530 because then... You're ruining my night. It would 00:49:23.530 --> 00:49:25.250 have drawn attention. Yes. You know, because 00:49:25.250 --> 00:49:27.329 if you feel like you can't... I've been in that 00:49:27.329 --> 00:49:29.050 situation where you feel like you can't pretend 00:49:29.050 --> 00:49:32.989 and people will be like... why are you moping 00:49:32.989 --> 00:49:34.829 around why are you being so weird about this 00:49:34.829 --> 00:49:36.449 and then they force something out of you and 00:49:36.449 --> 00:49:39.369 then they force a scene yeah and if you really 00:49:39.369 --> 00:49:41.949 don't think that you can put on a brave face 00:49:41.949 --> 00:49:45.510 for it that's fine the best option is to leave 00:49:45.510 --> 00:49:47.989 i really agree with that i mean you unless you 00:49:47.989 --> 00:49:49.750 are borrowing money and in debt with all your 00:49:49.750 --> 00:49:52.309 friends and families as we said in the 90s what's 00:49:52.309 --> 00:49:54.730 her damage i love that Yeah, most people are 00:49:54.730 --> 00:49:56.730 saying not the asshole for the same reason. Like, 00:49:56.769 --> 00:49:59.090 why does she even bring it up? She's being passive 00:49:59.090 --> 00:50:00.909 aggressive and there's no way you could have 00:50:00.909 --> 00:50:03.289 ruined everything. We're right on top with everybody. 00:50:03.510 --> 00:50:06.409 In my search of am I the assholes? Yeah. In a 00:50:06.409 --> 00:50:09.769 thread, I found a slash relationships. I don't 00:50:09.769 --> 00:50:12.210 know how Reddit works. I think it's the subreddit. 00:50:12.269 --> 00:50:14.690 Yeah, so the subreddit of relationships was within 00:50:14.690 --> 00:50:16.750 this. Okay. And I clicked on it because of the 00:50:16.750 --> 00:50:19.349 title. All right, I'm ready. Why do I want to 00:50:19.349 --> 00:50:23.539 fuck everyone but my girlfriend? Asshole. That's 00:50:23.539 --> 00:50:25.360 not the question here. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. 00:50:25.699 --> 00:50:29.539 I, 25 female. Oh, wait. Am in a long -term committed 00:50:29.539 --> 00:50:32.079 relationship with the love of my life, 31 female. 00:50:32.239 --> 00:50:34.980 We are both bisexual and this is both our first 00:50:34.980 --> 00:50:37.639 relationships with women. We have been together 00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:39.559 for three years now and are discussing marriage. 00:50:40.119 --> 00:50:43.739 I am an insanely sexual person. Okay, what a 00:50:43.739 --> 00:50:47.219 weird adverb to use. It's 90 % of what I think 00:50:47.219 --> 00:50:51.539 about. That's 90 % too much. Yeah, aren't you 00:50:51.539 --> 00:50:55.420 tired? I always thought I was a very sexual person, 00:50:55.480 --> 00:51:00.199 but I even come close to 90%. I'm like 15. Well, 00:51:00.199 --> 00:51:05.150 now that I read my books, maybe 20. This person 00:51:05.150 --> 00:51:07.570 is 25 years old? 25. Yeah, no. Anyways, go ahead. 00:51:07.650 --> 00:51:10.190 Okay, so it's 90 % of what I think about. For 00:51:10.190 --> 00:51:12.829 some reason, when I get to this point in a relationship, 00:51:13.030 --> 00:51:15.769 I just no longer care about sex. I still think 00:51:15.769 --> 00:51:18.969 about it, just not with my partner. I spend all 00:51:18.969 --> 00:51:21.869 day at work fantasizing about my boss taking 00:51:21.869 --> 00:51:24.050 me in his office and having his way with me. 00:51:24.170 --> 00:51:27.510 I am still very attracted to my girlfriend. I 00:51:27.510 --> 00:51:29.590 just don't have the motivation to fuck her anymore. 00:51:30.059 --> 00:51:32.739 I don't know. I know if the fantasy with my boss 00:51:32.739 --> 00:51:35.059 ever played out, I would immediately regret it. 00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:37.719 And I don't think I would ever want more than 00:51:37.719 --> 00:51:39.880 a fling with him. It's like I want to be fucked 00:51:39.880 --> 00:51:43.159 every - This is - Are you sure you're not just 00:51:43.159 --> 00:51:45.099 reading me one of your books? I want to be fucking 00:51:45.099 --> 00:51:47.480 everyone, but still want to come home to my girlfriend 00:51:47.480 --> 00:51:49.519 at the end of the day. I guess I just wish she 00:51:49.519 --> 00:51:52.039 was more open to a threesome? or maybe an open 00:51:52.039 --> 00:51:54.280 relationship. This may just be all in my head. 00:51:54.420 --> 00:51:56.519 If she gave me the green light to fuck whoever 00:51:56.519 --> 00:51:59.260 I want, I probably would never even make a move. 00:51:59.480 --> 00:52:01.659 I just feel insanely guilty for thinking about 00:52:01.659 --> 00:52:03.679 it all the time. And yes, I have talked to her 00:52:03.679 --> 00:52:05.940 about this. She misses me wanting to fuck her 00:52:05.940 --> 00:52:08.400 every minute of every day and wishes I would 00:52:08.400 --> 00:52:11.000 make the first move more often. We have great 00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:13.659 sex when we do finally make the move, but it's 00:52:13.659 --> 00:52:16.610 getting less and less frequent. Has anyone been 00:52:16.610 --> 00:52:19.250 through this and have any thoughts? I want to 00:52:19.250 --> 00:52:21.030 marry my girlfriend and I want to have babies 00:52:21.030 --> 00:52:23.110 and grow old together, but I also want to be 00:52:23.110 --> 00:52:26.489 as sexual as I want to be. I know I can't have 00:52:26.489 --> 00:52:28.590 my cake and eat it too, but a girl can dream. 00:52:28.710 --> 00:52:32.489 This is odd for me. Someone commented, don't 00:52:32.489 --> 00:52:34.949 get married. That's all I got. Yeah, not right 00:52:34.949 --> 00:52:39.690 now. Figure this out, you know? Okay. This isn't 00:52:39.690 --> 00:52:42.250 am I the asshole, but yeah, you are. I guess. 00:52:42.489 --> 00:52:46.409 I think this person. clearly has a very active 00:52:46.409 --> 00:52:50.670 like imagination and like fantasy driven when 00:52:50.670 --> 00:52:53.289 it comes to sex and design and that's not bad 00:52:53.289 --> 00:52:56.090 but i i don't know i think you need to figure 00:52:56.090 --> 00:52:58.769 that shit out like do you really want to go and 00:52:58.769 --> 00:53:00.190 have sex with a bunch of people or do you just 00:53:00.190 --> 00:53:02.690 want to think about it all the time is it getting 00:53:02.690 --> 00:53:04.929 in the way of your life like what's going on 00:53:04.929 --> 00:53:07.869 why don't you want to have sex with your girlfriend 00:53:08.329 --> 00:53:10.809 Is it because you're getting complacent and like 00:53:10.809 --> 00:53:13.329 you're, you now see them as like a part, not 00:53:13.329 --> 00:53:17.550 like a partner, but like the, the fun of it like 00:53:17.550 --> 00:53:20.789 is gone. So here, like the fun of date, like 00:53:20.789 --> 00:53:22.989 the first like few months that you're together. 00:53:23.010 --> 00:53:25.829 Yeah. That like passionate. Yeah. So here's the 00:53:25.829 --> 00:53:29.050 thing. They said, is this normal? In a way? Yes. 00:53:29.150 --> 00:53:32.889 Like in a long -term relationship, I think. You're 00:53:32.889 --> 00:53:35.909 going to have ebbs and flows. You're going to 00:53:35.909 --> 00:53:37.750 have dry spells. You're going to have times where 00:53:37.750 --> 00:53:39.190 you can't keep your hands off each other. And 00:53:39.190 --> 00:53:40.909 a lot of that is dependent on just what you're 00:53:40.909 --> 00:53:42.369 going through individually, what you're going 00:53:42.369 --> 00:53:44.510 through as partners. I mean, if you have kids, 00:53:44.789 --> 00:53:47.630 if you have like, there have been times where 00:53:47.630 --> 00:53:50.570 we've been like, I mean, like roommates, you 00:53:50.570 --> 00:53:52.050 know? Yeah, you're just living together. Yeah, 00:53:52.070 --> 00:53:55.170 it's like that passion, that spark, it dies away 00:53:55.170 --> 00:53:57.900 sometimes. But then... You notice it, you try 00:53:57.900 --> 00:53:59.880 to get it back, you work on it, and if you can't, 00:53:59.880 --> 00:54:01.659 then yes, you have a problem. But if it's just 00:54:01.659 --> 00:54:03.659 that you're going through a phase right now... 00:54:03.960 --> 00:54:06.519 I don't think that has to mean that it's, I don't 00:54:06.519 --> 00:54:08.340 know. Cause her keep going back and forth and 00:54:08.340 --> 00:54:09.739 saying that she doesn't think she'd act on it, 00:54:09.780 --> 00:54:11.239 but she has these fantasies, but she doesn't 00:54:11.239 --> 00:54:13.420 know. And if her girlfriend gave her the okay, 00:54:13.519 --> 00:54:15.659 she probably wouldn't do anything anyway. Yeah. 00:54:15.659 --> 00:54:17.739 So then what do you actually want to do? Like 00:54:17.739 --> 00:54:20.059 it, I just think you're going through a weird 00:54:20.059 --> 00:54:22.239 phase and you're kind of in that, like you said, 00:54:22.260 --> 00:54:26.000 that complacent dry spell, whatever. And maybe 00:54:26.000 --> 00:54:28.099 you guys need to work on that a little bit, or 00:54:28.099 --> 00:54:30.000 maybe you need to figure out if there is something 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:31.840 going on that you want very differently that 00:54:31.840 --> 00:54:34.289 you're not getting from her. But like, I know 00:54:34.289 --> 00:54:35.909 when we've gone through and we, I mean, it's 00:54:35.909 --> 00:54:38.630 not been out of like, I don't find him attractive. 00:54:38.929 --> 00:54:41.909 I don't love him. It's just things change. You 00:54:41.909 --> 00:54:44.610 feel a certain way. You're not as, you don't 00:54:44.610 --> 00:54:46.670 have as high of a sex drive or you have one that's 00:54:46.670 --> 00:54:49.969 mismatched at the moment. You figure out what's 00:54:49.969 --> 00:54:51.730 going on and you work on it. I think she should 00:54:51.730 --> 00:54:54.090 go to therapy. I do too. I think you need to 00:54:54.090 --> 00:54:56.269 figure some shit out. Yeah. I'm not calling you 00:54:56.269 --> 00:54:58.539 an asshole, but I. I think if you don't figure 00:54:58.539 --> 00:55:01.219 something out and you keep this back and forth 00:55:01.219 --> 00:55:02.920 thing going and you keep making her feel bad, 00:55:03.119 --> 00:55:05.139 then you could definitely become the asshole 00:55:05.139 --> 00:55:08.719 here. Yeah. People are saying that therapy, especially 00:55:08.719 --> 00:55:10.619 since you have acknowledged that this is a pattern. 00:55:10.780 --> 00:55:13.199 Yeah. And someone also said, I'm not an expert 00:55:13.199 --> 00:55:15.900 by any means, but it sounds like some type of 00:55:15.900 --> 00:55:18.380 self -sabotage. That too. On the surface, you 00:55:18.380 --> 00:55:20.539 want to marry your girlfriend, but your subconscious 00:55:20.539 --> 00:55:24.639 has issues with that and puts other thoughts 00:55:24.639 --> 00:55:27.280 in your head instead. Yeah. That's what I mean. 00:55:27.320 --> 00:55:29.139 It's like, is this just like a weird fantasy 00:55:29.139 --> 00:55:31.500 thing that you're doing? Because that doesn't 00:55:31.500 --> 00:55:33.260 have to be the worst thing in the world, but 00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:36.500 you need to figure out why it's so, I don't want 00:55:36.500 --> 00:55:38.539 to say debilitating, but it's certainly having 00:55:38.539 --> 00:55:40.760 an impact. Yeah. And do you actually want to 00:55:40.760 --> 00:55:43.519 be married and have that sort of monogamous life 00:55:43.519 --> 00:55:45.079 or do you not? Because if you don't, that's not 00:55:45.079 --> 00:55:47.320 a bad thing. No. But don't try to rope somebody 00:55:47.320 --> 00:55:49.239 in who does want that to something they don't 00:55:49.239 --> 00:55:52.139 want either. Yeah, because they're also old. 00:55:52.489 --> 00:55:55.190 Not significantly older. She's in her 30s. Your 00:55:55.190 --> 00:55:57.250 girlfriend's in her 30s. 31. So she's probably 00:55:57.250 --> 00:55:59.230 ready to settle down. She probably wants that. 00:55:59.929 --> 00:56:02.329 Next step of her life. Cause she's older. Yeah. 00:56:02.429 --> 00:56:04.630 And that's, you know, once you hit 30, you're 00:56:04.630 --> 00:56:07.969 in a geriatric fricking pregnancy. So. But yeah, 00:56:08.030 --> 00:56:09.469 I think that's an interesting one. Like you have 00:56:09.469 --> 00:56:12.510 more time to like play around. Like I, by you, 00:56:12.550 --> 00:56:15.449 I mean the 25 year old. Yeah. Not me. No. You 00:56:15.449 --> 00:56:18.110 have more time to like, not fool around, but 00:56:18.110 --> 00:56:20.570 like you're younger. Figure this out. You have 00:56:20.570 --> 00:56:22.449 time to figure this out, but don't drag your 00:56:22.449 --> 00:56:24.489 girlfriend along because she's at a different 00:56:24.489 --> 00:56:26.590 stage of life probably. Yeah. But if she's not, 00:56:26.670 --> 00:56:29.360 maybe that's a problem. Yeah. It's not a bad 00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:32.460 thing for you to be having a sort of identity 00:56:32.460 --> 00:56:35.239 crisis and not know what you want here. But if 00:56:35.239 --> 00:56:37.900 you need to figure that out without her, you 00:56:37.900 --> 00:56:39.840 need to figure that out alone. Yeah. And if you 00:56:39.840 --> 00:56:42.380 can't do that within the confines of your relationship 00:56:42.380 --> 00:56:45.659 and your monogamy, then you need to not be in 00:56:45.659 --> 00:56:47.659 that relationship right now. Yeah. And let her 00:56:47.659 --> 00:56:49.659 go and do whatever she's going to do. And if 00:56:49.659 --> 00:56:51.280 you figure it out in a couple years and you guys 00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:52.679 are both still single and you want to make it 00:56:52.679 --> 00:56:55.900 work again, you will. Yeah. And if you don't, 00:56:55.900 --> 00:56:58.190 you won't. It's just that simple. If you love 00:56:58.190 --> 00:56:59.550 something enough, you gotta let it go. If it 00:56:59.550 --> 00:57:01.309 comes back, it was meant to be. Fly away, little 00:57:01.309 --> 00:57:04.090 bird. Yeah, I mean, Mike and I let each other 00:57:04.090 --> 00:57:05.869 go for a while, and then we came back, and now 00:57:05.869 --> 00:57:08.130 we're married. So did we. So did we. So, like, 00:57:08.190 --> 00:57:10.409 that was a good one. Yeah. Good one to end on. 00:57:10.489 --> 00:57:11.969 It was something. It was really something. I 00:57:11.969 --> 00:57:13.329 just saw the title, and I'm like, I have to do 00:57:13.329 --> 00:57:15.920 this. Yeah, really. What the heck? Well, I hope 00:57:15.920 --> 00:57:17.480 you guys have enjoyed this episode, bringing 00:57:17.480 --> 00:57:20.219 back a favorite for Am I the Asshole? And let 00:57:20.219 --> 00:57:21.719 us know what you thought. Did you agree with 00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:24.420 us? Did you not? If you want us to do this again 00:57:24.420 --> 00:57:26.599 and do more Am I the Asshole, we can definitely 00:57:26.599 --> 00:57:29.420 do that. Or relationships. Yeah. Tell us your 00:57:29.420 --> 00:57:32.059 favorite subreddit. And we'll talk about it. 00:57:32.099 --> 00:57:34.340 And maybe we'll dive in. Yeah. So thank you guys 00:57:34.340 --> 00:57:36.039 so much for listening, and we'll see you next 00:57:36.039 --> 00:57:47.159 time on 30 Dirty and Dying. Bye! Bye! Um, it's 00:57:47.159 --> 00:57:48.039 Twilight if you're 30.