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Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants.
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No!
If you love vomit, we have the podcast for you.
Hello, two douchebags and microphone. This is Mark.
And I'm Robert.
Alright.
Well, anyhow, Topher is still kidnapped by the Kale people.
And I don't know, man. I don't know if they shot him up with something and he can't speak or something.
But I don't know. He's pretty much been flatlining, hasn't he?
Yeah, my heel belly's turned into heel belly's.
Oh man, did they go back to you?
No, actually I think they may have spied some big buck and they went on some hunting trip.
Okay. Well, Topher, if you're out there, we hope you hurry up and get back.
But if not...
We miss you, brother.
Yeah, we miss you. But until then, the show goes on as of right now.
So, anyhow, hey, did you hear about the giant trick that someone played on a lot of rural Missourians that own a lot of land?
No!
This is funny.
This is a trick.
This is a funny trick, dude. It was very well done. I tell you, it wasn't just like something that someone just...
It wasn't very poorly thought out of, I can tell you that. It was thought out of very...
It was very intricate. It was clever. The conservation department logo that they put on these letters was dead on.
Because I've seen conservation letterheads, haven't you? You know, they have that little triangle...
Yeah, my grandfather was a farmer, yes.
Okay, yeah. They have that little triangle, I think like a raccoon, and then another animal, and under below is an insignia.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, this had that on there. And I was like, fuck, if I would have saw this, I would have been like, wow, I better get to calling.
So, anyhow, Missouri is not sending bison to your home is what the conservation department wants you to know if you got one of these letters.
Okay, so let me explain. Recently, many rural homes and landowners in Missouri got a notice in the mail. It says as follows.
Greeting landowner. Your conservation commission wishes to announce that the land surrounding your home has been selected as a game preserve and that the first shipment of 550 buffaloes will arrive at your home Thursday at 3.45 a.m. on June 29, 2023.
What? Buffaloes?
Buffaloes. So, Joe, landowner, let's say, he lives in Versailles, right? Okay.
Oh, Liza lives with me. That podcast we did at the swap booth.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's probably where I remember the name from. I've been through Versailles plenty of times, and I've also camped in...
Yeah, yeah. It's up at the north end of the lake. Yeah, it's that way.
Yeah, yes it is. Yes. Yep. And a friend of mine used to own a lake house over close to there, and it was always fun to go there and go tooling around in his boat and get drunk and, you know, all that stupid shit that you do at the lake.
Oh, that's where I started coming to the lake back in like 90, 91.
Oh, okay.
That's where I was up at like Gravillers Mills up to the north end.
Wasn't that close to where Ozark was filmed over in that area?
No, that was over closer to Bagnell Dam.
Oh, was it closer to Bagnell?
Yeah.
Oh, I must have had it completely wrong.
Yeah.
Okay, because I thought it was...
There was actually a bar down there. His name on the show was Marty Bird.
Mm-hmm.
Well, there is an already bar down there called Marty Bird. This lake has went nuts over that show.
Yeah, I actually knew that bar was there because a friend of mine that used to barista up at the City Market Coffee, he moved there because of that show to barista there.
And I guess because you had all these Hollywood types coming in there, that they were used to fine coffee and they needed baristas there pronto.
So he went down there and lived for quite a while and did very well just serving that community down there for coffees.
And I saw him a couple of times after that and he told me about that.
And he said that all of a sudden the land started going really high and everything and you could never get out on the lake anymore because there's people down there trying to get a glimpse of the show even though they wasn't actually filming the show there anymore.
Did you know that?
No, to be honest, I would, you could, and like you said, we go off facts and our opinions. This is a fact. If you looked into the show, most of it is filmed in the state of Georgia.
Yes. Yes. Yeah.
But there are parts of this lake right here that I live on that is part of that show and it is based on this lake.
Yes.
But, but now let me tell you, there's a lot of speculation about if that stuff really happens down here, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, yeah.
We have a little bit of everything here.
Okay. That stuff happens everywhere is the deal.
And also another thing that I found out is you guys have a special thing down there that they call, now this may not be your area code because you're a little bit north of it, but they call it the 417.
The 417 is its own brand of meth that people like try to get.
And it's only made only around the Springfield and that whole area, and they call it the 417 because of the area code 417.
Yeah, yeah, see that's more down around, we're 573.
That's what I thought. Yeah.
Yeah, we are closer to Jefferson City.
Yes, you guys are almost south of Jefferson City.
Yeah, we're about an hour and a half to an hour and 45 minutes from Springfield.
That's what I thought, you know, because people.
Yeah, that stuff stays down here.
Yeah, well I used to go to Camping and quite a bit.
What we get in here is what everybody else brings, it tours.
Yes.
That's a big thing and we will get on that sketch later about the tours.
Do you guys still have the Four Seasons there?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a pretty nice resort.
I remember they brought in full-size palm trees one year and I guess that didn't last.
I guess they forgot to bring them in and they all died or something.
There's a lot of hands changing over in that side.
That's what I heard.
Well, all the elders just started.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what side you're on.
I think it would be the southeastern side, right?
Isn't it the southeastern side, the more industrial?
I'm on the southwest side.
Southwest, maybe it's the southwest side.
Yeah, yeah, it's as you come down out of the South.
You come across 54 through, you know, if you went down 54, about 71.
Yeah, 54.
51, yeah, you come straight across and the Bay that asks.
Yeah, you go through El Dorado Springs and Collins and all that.
Yeah, well, we're walking halfway through the state.
Yeah, that's what I thought. You're more east than you are south.
Yeah, yeah.
And we're, everybody knows we're like those, we're just on your side on the south corner.
Yeah, and like you said, that for a long time.
On the southwest corner.
I guess it still is, it's a very touristy area then.
Oh, yeah, oh my God, yeah.
Right now, a memorial day, the Labor Day.
Is a busy time.
Do we really want to get into this story right now?
Probably not.
Let's see, what was I on?
Yeah, let's wait for another night.
Yeah, we'll do that another night.
So anyhow, okay.
Where was I? I was on bison.
Okay, let me see here.
Yeah, yeah, bison.
Okay, like I said, greetings landowner.
Greetings landowner.
Your Conservation Commission wishes to announce, I'm recapping this,
wishes to announce that the land surrounding your home has been selected as a game preserve
and that the first shipment of 550 buffalos will arrive at your home Thursday at 345 a.m. on June 29th, 2023.
Note, we do not accept phone orders by phone, like you're going to order more.
That's what it said on there in small writing up next to the big writing that informed them they're getting 550 buffalos to start off with.
They said thank you for your time and interest in Missouri's game preservation.
We look forward to serving you.
The problem is, this is a fake letter.
It's a prank that was sent to thousands of Missourians.
The conservation seal looks real.
I wouldn't believe this letter easily.
And you can look this up online when you get a chance, Rob.
I'll take it because it is spot on.
If I would have saw it, I would have been like, oh shit, I'm going to have buffalos all over.
To be honest with you, Mark, I was believing that story.
I was actually thinking it wasn't a prank.
I figured they actually sent that letter.
No one in the state of Missouri.
My evil conspiratist in me would tell me that it's a blue state playing a trick on a red state.
Oh yeah, yeah.
They're like, hee hee hee.
I've got a story about that.
Let's get those Republicans.
Let's tell them we're going to have all these bison all around them.
I don't think, I'm just joking around.
I'm just trying to make fun of it.
Who knows who did it?
But whoever did it, that was a very elaborate prank.
I commend them, so whoever you are out there that did that.
Great job.
Congratulations.
Yay.
So, anyhow, I thought that was a pretty cool story.
That was definitely something that I wanted to talk about.
You know, we talk about White Castles quite a bit, right?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Especially at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Yes, well White Castles.
Okay, the White Castle that used to be on the corner of Blue Ridge and Grandview.
Yeah, the one where you used to run naked through the drive-through.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Until I had to hide in a doghouse for six hours.
Then that stopped.
I had a 78 Monza.
Mm-hmm.
That the driver's side window would not roll down.
Uh-huh.
I would actually go through the drive-through backwards.
I remember that.
Do you remember that?
I remember that, yes.
Yeah.
The White Castle ladies in there go, oh my god, here comes those crazy white guys again.
That's what they'd always say, huh?
Here comes those crazy white guys again.
Well, they said that about everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably everybody, all the white guys to them were probably nuts.
Especially at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning.
Yeah.
That was funny.
Oh, god, between that and all the other shit.
Oh my gosh, man.
Oh, wow.
What a life you would live.
What changed me, guys, is I don't know, I think you were there or not,
but the one night that everybody got busted at the hotel while me and some other people,
I don't know if it was you, I don't know if it was Jimmy, I don't know if it was my brother,
I can't remember who all, but a bunch of us...
Hotel.
At Blue Ridge Inn, you know, just across the 71 Highway there.
Yeah, are you talking about the dog house?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm where I hid the dog house for six hours.
You said you would bring it up.
Yes.
Anyhow, I had to hide in the dog house naked for six hours until somebody came back,
spinning around looking for me, and anyhow, it was Ted.
He came back looking for me, and I didn't know that his sister was with him,
so I ran out naked, and I'm like, oh, shit.
And so...
And yeah, luckily I had a blanket.
It was a little odd explaining when I got home how come I came home in a blanket
and I had no recollection where my clothes were.
My clothes were confiscated by the KCPD, I imagine, and they're probably,
well, they've probably been thrown away a long time now,
but I never did get them back because I never did fess up to be in there.
But no, I had to hide.
You didn't do anything to run the DNA.
Did they even have DNA back then?
I'm sure they did, but not for someone naked in a dog house.
If they did, it was just going to be a plan.
And also, if they did have anything at all, not for someone naked in a dog house,
they wouldn't have paid for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they weren't looking for some serial killer or nothing.
No, no, no, they were, yeah, they were just like, what's this, what this guy supposedly do?
Oh, a dog house?
We were far from that.
Yeah, okay, whatever.
Okay, well, anyhow, White Castle has been widely known as a stoner's food for years.
I mean, you know, Harold and Kumar used to try to get the White Castle.
Everybody used to have a, you know, it was known as stoner food, the belly bombers, the sliders.
I love to call them grease pellets from heaven, you know?
Yeah.
So, anyhow, well, Jack in the Box is trying to upend them.
Jack in the Box is making a serious run at the stoner food.
They're trying to dethrone White Castle is what they're trying to do.
And let me tell you, they're probably coming pretty fucking close with this, dude,
because listen to this, can Snoop save Jack in the Box?
White Castle has the stoner community wrapped up, right?
Well, maybe.
Yes, Snoop Dogg.
Well, maybe, finally, someone has an answer.
Introducing the brand new Snoop Munchie meal at Jack in the Box.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Now listen to this, Rob.
This little piece of genius will contain spicy, sauced, and loaded chicken sandwich
with crispy chicken strips, bacon crumbles, and french fries,
topped with cheese sauce, good good sauce, whatever that is, and ranch.
The specialty sandwich is served alongside the chain's classic taco, which is fantastic.
I love their little tacos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know people that have them delivered from St. Louis down here to the lake.
Oh, wow.
Just the tacos.
Yeah, yeah.
They're cold, man.
They're hot.
Yeah, they're no good cold.
I mean, they're great straight out of the fryer.
They're so good.
They have some little piece of mystery meat in them.
They're hillbillies.
They don't.
You know what?
They don't give a shit.
You're right.
No.
Well, so they'll actually order them and have them taken.
That's awesome.
I love that.
No, no, no.
They'll pick them up.
They'll drive through.
It's one of the ones at St. Louis.
It's somebody personally I know.
Oh, OK.
They'll drive through.
They'll be in St. Louis, but make their husband stop and jack in the box, pick up tacos in
St. Louis, drive three and a half hours home, and then eat them.
You know what?
I understand it.
I drive to get White Castle's.
I drive a couple of hours.
Yeah, I'll drive a couple of hours to get it.
I'll drive a couple of hours to get them in Columbia because we no longer have them in
Kansas City.
We haven't in a long time.
So, yeah, I'll drive to Columbia, pick up a couple of cases.
As a matter of fact, when I bought my car from Joe Mockin's there in Columbia, I insisted
a case of White Castle be in the floorboard.
Yeah, I remember that in your story.
I caught that in your story.
Yeah, I see where you're going.
And they were, like, confused.
They're like, White Castle's?
Yeah.
Yeah, but knowing you, knowing you, I caught it.
The guy said it wasn't a problem.
He said, well, send someone to go get some.
But he was highly confused to why I would be protesting the need to like a fucking case
of Castle's before I could take my car.
And I just told him that.
Well, following your story, if you had to drive all the way to Columbia...
Yes, I told him that.
You should have gotten something out of it.
I told him that.
I said, you know...
And the soda machine did not do it.
No, the soda machine, though, I mean, what sucked is I shouldn't have just...
It wouldn't have been cool if you were on your diet.
Yeah, and the White Castle's, I had to eat them in time.
I could only have, like, one White Castle a day.
And then by the time I got to, like, the 24th one, they weren't very good at all.
But if you're going to drive all the way to Columbia, you better stock up.
I just got like a...
They were kissing my ass so bad, I was kind of just testing the ground
to see how far they would go.
I'm starving.
I want a case of White Castle, too.
And he's told me about his freestyle coke machine that they just got in
one out of, like, 20 in America.
I don't give a shit about that.
I want White Castle's in the car.
Keep your fucking Coca-Cola and the fucking cherry lemon lime fucking
Barks root beer with a fucking slide of orange Fanta to yourself.
I'll fucking take my White Castle's.
So, and anyhow...
Oh, back to the Snoop meal.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, where the fuck was I?
Damn it, let's see.
The Specialty Sandwich is served alongside the Change Classic Taco,
brownie batter, medium curly fries, and a drink.
Brownie batter, dude, brownie batter.
That's genius.
Every stoner in America that listened to this was like,
oh my God.
I mean, that's the holy grail of stoner food.
Yeah, yeah.
Bam, fucking home run.
Out of the park.
Fucking Grand Slam, out of the park, over I-70,
hit the fucking Denny's on the other side of the I-70,
fucking ricocheted off the Denny's, went into the Addams Mark,
rolled through the lobby, and hit someone in the nuts.
That's how big a home run that is.
That's bigger than a George Brett Jack job.
Fuck.
I grew up playing baseball, man.
I was on summer leagues.
You know, I just...
They did so crappy in 86, you know?
Well, like I said, those three years I got back into it,
but never like I did football.
We started going camping, and life began.
Well, I kind of got out of baseball when I started partying,
and I mean, all this stuff, the times we used to talk about,
I still loved baseball, but not like I did before,
because after that, my first love was hanging out
and fucking just drinking and doing stupid shit.
That was my first love, and then BAMS, you know,
rock bands, heavy metal bands,
and it kind of replaced my love for baseball.
Okay, well, also, at the same time, Mark,
do you remember what years I've been saying
we were hanging around?
Well, that's when the Royals were really good.
85, we won a series for the first time.
Yes.
Yeah, I met you in 85, and then 80.
Yeah, that's when I lost, yeah.
So we lost it about the same time.
Yeah, I remember I went down to Westport tonight,
the Royals won, and I got stuck in a traffic jam,
and I didn't go back to Westport for like three years after that.
I was like, fuck that.
But then I started going there regularly, and anyhow,
now you can't go there unless you have a fucking Uzi.
Really?
Oh, God, it's horrible now, dude.
There's shootings there every night.
It's stupid. You can't go in there anymore.
I'm going to have to ask Basie before I come back to town,
if I come back to town.
I don't know.
We may be onto something,
but won't we talk about what we're doing?
No, I know. I know.
I'll tell you what, I don't want to drive as far as I used to
to work when I lived in Cleveland, Missouri.
But then again, I don't really care for living in the city either
because there's just too much crime and too much stupidity.
I mean, just people walking around fucking staring it,
staring off into space, peeled out, or fucking schizophrenic,
miss golfing steam people, screaming at walls.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not a very good environment, to say the least, in a lot of places.
I understand. I've been up there recently.
I'll tell you what, though.
I miss down south, and I miss going to the lake as much as I used to.
I don't know.
One thing that I really miss is at night going outside
when I lived in Cleveland.
I could see the stars.
I could see them here, but not like I saw them there.
Nothing close to like I saw them.
Oh, no. Honestly, Mark, honestly, I can do that every night here.
Yeah, isn't that great? You don't have all the light pollution.
No, no, no. It's not great, to be honest.
It isn't?
No. You look up at the sky now,
and once you think you're looking at the stars, you look at them,
there are actually nothing but a bunch of satellites.
Really?
Yes. I mean, you can see different lights.
Yeah, I mean, I see them moving.
Wow. Okay.
I see more satellites more.
I've always been a star watcher, Mark, since I was a kid.
I love star watching.
I look up, and we all hit.
When we were kids, we'd sit outside at night, look up at the sky, look at the stars, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Now you see nothing but a bunch of them satellites.
Yeah.
If you look down there, yeah, you see more satellites than the stars these days.
That's very concerning.
At least you do here.
Wow. That's crazy.
No.
No, I believe it though.
That's true thought.
Check them out.
I will. I will.
Okay, well, anyhow, White Castle better be thinking of some shit up quickly,
because I'll tell you what, Jack in the Box just fucking swerved right around them
and put the metal, put the fucking pedal to the metal,
because man, that meal there, every stoner around cannot wait to get their fucking lips
around that son of a bitch.
I can tell you that right now.
It is being test marketed in certain cities with a rollout coming soon.
And they said there's definitely going to be a rollout.
I mean, I don't know why they're bothering to test it first if we're going to do a rollout anyhow,
but that's what they said in the official statement is a rollout's coming soon.
So they expect this thing to do well.
And I think it will.
Well, with marijuana being legal in the state of Missouri now, yeah, it's going to go over good.
I see it.
Yeah, I think so too.
Okay, I have a couple other.
Sorry, I keep having my program click off on me, and it happened to me on the last one too.
I don't know what's going on.
So I'm going to repeat what I said.
Well, I'm on the subject of food.
I think that like fast food wars are going on or something
because suddenly all these places are coming up with this new foods to sell.
So Pizza Hut has a new offering.
The company announced the launch of its Pickle Pizza on Wednesday.
Say it is the first national quick service pizza restaurant to offer the creation.
Yeah, it's just Pickle Pizza, I guess.
Well, there's some other ingredients.
They call it Pickle Pizza, but I don't know if I call it Pickle Pizza
because I'm going to wrap off the whole ingredient menu to you.
So anyhow, Pizza Hut is taking advantage of the new pickle craze going on.
And the pickle craze is going on because I've always loved pickles.
But now there's like fried pickles.
There's like people put pickles on everything now.
People love pickles.
Pickle juice is my best friend for cramps.
I get cramps.
If you drink a small glass of pickle juice, the cramps will go away immediately.
There's just something, some ingredient in there.
But pickle juice is hit big and people love pickles.
So anyhow, the pizza will include buttermilk ranch sauce, Nashville hot chicken, cheese,
white onions, a ranch drizzle, and of course the star of the show, spicy dill pickles.
Now they call that a pickle pizza, right?
Wouldn't you call that a Nashville hot chicken pizza?
With dill pickles?
Yeah.
Because Nashville hot chicken very famously has big dill pickles, big chips in the middle of it.
And that's part of the taste.
You get that tangy dill and then the hot.
Yeah. You're right. You're right.
Yeah. So now don't get me wrong.
This pizza, I'm going to try it.
It sounds fantastic.
It's right in my alley of what I would like.
But I don't get why they're calling it pickle pizza and not Nashville hot chicken pizza with pickles.
That could be a trademark thing.
I never thought of that.
Well, let's see.
There's several places in Nashville that offer hot chicken.
Daddy B's, I think, is the most famous and that's the one that they have there on lower Broadway and a couple other locations.
And then there's some other ones too.
I can't think of the name of them, but I don't know.
Very interesting.
I'm going to try to look it up.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you.
I don't make it out of the Ozarks.
I'm just guessing.
You love Nashville, dude.
Nashville is a fun, fun city.
It's one of my favorite cities to visit.
I love the place.
I've never spent time there.
That's where the Filthy Bean is at, which we're going to go to the Filthy Bean.
The Filthy Bean in Nashville.
Me and Topher used to broadcast from there.
Yeah, yeah.
I've heard.
But since Topher had his legs amputated, I certainly hope he gets better so we can go back there.
You see, now I'm starting rumors.
Since he had his legs amputated, we're hoping that...
Stop it.
Okay, okay.
We're always looking for innovative ways to explore new tastes and trends.
I will edit that.
I will.
He would hear it and laugh, I'm sure.
But anyhow, we think we hit big with this when it says a Pizza Hut spokesperson.
I would agree with that.
We like to hit new trends with culinary excellence.
The Pickle Pizza will be available at 932 Avenue location in New York City from June 9th through the 11th, exclusively through carryout at 1799 a Pizza.
The wider release hopefully is not far off, but that kind of put me off when I read that.
It's only going to be available at the 932 location of Pizza Hut in New York City at first.
And then later on they're going to roll out this whole pizza, even though they did this huge press release for one location for three days only.
And you can only get it carryout.
You can't call in and nothing.
So you got to go there and you got to wait in line for this pizza.
That kind of put me off a little bit because I don't understand why you would, you know, scream and wave your arms about this new thing and then have it only available out of one out of probably 50,000 locations in America.
One store is going to have it at first and that's it and only carryout.
You see what I'm saying?
Okay, well, honestly, I think I have an answer to that.
Okay.
What is it?
Believe it or not, I think I do.
All right.
I'm coming up out of my ass on this one.
Okay, go ahead.
Hear me out.
All right.
Okay.
The whole time you were talking about that, I was thinking about our Pizza Hut down here.
Okay.
This Pizza Hut, we can get sandwiches, calzones, all we can get is like pizzas and they're basic pizzas.
You can't even get a taco pizza.
Really?
Yeah, it's they're all we've talked about.
They're franchise owned.
Oh, we've had a discussion about this.
Okay.
You see what I mean?
You see what I'm going here?
Got it.
Yeah, down here is a different world than the city, man.
Okay.
We could keep this going if you want to.
Okay.
Well.
Over different segments.
That's what I'm saying.
Okay, we'll do a different segment.
That's fine on that.
Okay, so they're probably, I'll bet you not all locations will have this pizza then.
Probably the corporate owned ones and then anyone else who chooses to be in it or whatever.
So.
Yeah.
Those who have the money to buy into it, the franchises, they have the money to buy into that, can order it in.
So, if you have little joints like down here, you're never going to see it.
Yeah.
Okay, that makes sense.
Okay.
Well, all right.
Well, then you know Popeye's kind of through their, what would you call it?
They're coming up with their own ideas again because they were the first ones that started the chicken sandwich war.
Remember?
They were trying to get it.
They'd run into Popeye's and they'd be out and people are flipping out and bitching and screaming and cussing.
I'll come back and get my chicken sandwich.
Well, I don't know you piece of shit.
Who gives a shit?
Get out of here.
So anyhow, Popeye's has added a blackened chicken sandwich as a permanent menu item in the US and Canada.
Mark, and the first permanent alteration to its chicken sandwich slate since 2019.
2019 is when the big chicken sandwich craze went on.
Then KFC came up with their own and then I mean Chick-fil-A came up with theirs.
Everybody came up with their own type of chicken sandwich.
Even McDonald's like rebranded their chicken sandwiches to fight.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good.
Anyhow, the sandwich was introduced last year as a limited time offer.
It includes a chicken breast that has been marinated for 12 hours.
This actually sounds good because I enjoy blackened food, Cajun food and Creole food.
I love all of it and I think that would really love this.
Popeye's has always done Creole very well.
Except for the original Popeye's on Canal Street in New Orleans has different recipes.
And you go in there and everything's a little bit different.
It's great, but it's a little bit different.
And believe it or not Popeye's, the original Popeye's in New Orleans on Canal Street is my second favorite chicken joint.
Next to Willie May's Scotch House, which is my first favorite chicken joint.
In New Orleans.
And Willie May's Scotch House is in the Ninth Ward.
And quite simply, I think it's an old church.
I've got a cousin of Willie's down there.
Okay, it's just a little bitty place.
And I'll tell you what, some of the best pork chops and chicken you've ever had ran out of that place.
But anyhow, the sandwich was introduced last year as a limited time offer.
It includes a chicken breast that's been marinated for 12 hours.
Popeye's had struggled to grow sales beyond heights it recorded during the so-called chicken sandwich wars.
That I said a little bit ago talking about Popeye said that all the claim, all the chains involved in the great chicken sandwich wars of a couple of years ago benefited from it.
And they look for other chains to follow suit with this black and chicken sandwich, and they're not afraid of it.
They welcome it.
It's going to be like last time where everybody's running out to get these chicken sandwiches for no apparent reason.
So, yeah.
So I like it.
Popeye's has a very good business model.
They're not afraid of competition.
They'll come up with great ideas knowing people will mimic them and they know that people will get their share of business.
And they, you know, it isn't like Taco Bell suing over the name Taco Tuesday because Taco John's actually copyrighted it years ago in 98.
They're not afraid of it, you know.
So there's many a place they call it Taco Tuesday.
So all the little places in Kansas City, all these little independent-owned, family-owned restaurants, Mexican places in Kansas City all have Taco Tuesday and nobody's stopping them.
Nobody's stopping them and nobody gives a shit, you know.
And if anyone came up to their door and said you need to take that down, they wouldn't.
They'd be like, no, I'm not going to.
I can put that on my sign if I want.
And it's just Taco John's probably did that to spite Taco Bell.
To be honest, I did not know that thing was even trademarked.
Neither did I until Taco Bell tried to have it cleared and it's still in court.
They may actually have it, what would you call it, decopyrighted or whatever or put back to normalcy where anyone can use it.
It's still in litigation, so it could happen.
Wow.
So anyhow, speaking of Taco Bell, I've got some more food news here.
Taco Bell now has a vegan crunch wrap.
The new vegan crunch wrap is officially going on the menu in three cities, New York, Los Angeles, and Orlando.
Such a large part of our fandom is vegan or vegetarian that we feel the need to cater more to these fans.
It is being test marketed, but the spokesperson said they expect it to do well and to be nationwide within a year.
All the ingredients have been certified vegan by the American Vegan and Vegetarian Association.
Taco Bell has other menu vegan items still being tested as well, most notably meatless naked chicken chalupa and plant-based meatless substitutes.
So it has a type of meat that you could probably put into a burrito, a burrito supreme, to anything, a taco.
So it sounds to me like soon they're going to have like their meatless meat, I think is what most places call it.
Would you like that with regular beef or you like it with a meatless meat?
And then the person's like, I'll take it with the meatless meat, you know.
So anyhow, I thought that was interesting that Taco Bell is throwing their self into the vegan ring.
And I, you know, it just shows you how popular that it's getting because Taco Bell is doing something about it because they see a market in it now.
So, no, I'm not a...
You go to Taco Bell, even down here in the Ozarks, way to the Ozarks, you go into Taco Bell, you go up and make your order.
You don't even talk to a human. You've got to type it in yourself.
Oh, that's like the McDonald's up here.
Most of McDonald's have these big screens that you just go tap and it started with COVID where they didn't really want you to have contact.
What do they call it? A kiosk or whatever?
A kiosk. Yeah, it's a kiosk.
Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I don't know. I don't go...
Wow.
If I got to do that, I'll cook my own.
That's cool.
You know what I mean?
I definitely respect that. I get what you're saying.
I think that they do that because I think what the whole model is going to is they want people to order online and have someone bring it to them.
They don't want anyone in their stores, really, except the people going there to grab the food off the counter and take it wherever.
Yeah, it's like Walmart, right? Everywhere. Self-checkout.
Yes. Self-checkout blows. I hate it.
Oh, yeah. Was it you that was telling me that they're having record numbers of sets?
Yes.
I don't know if that was me that said it, but I did know that they have it. I don't remember talking to you about it, but yeah.
I was talking to somebody and this is a story I want to look into because I hate self-checkout.
It does away with people's livelihoods. That's a story I'm going to be on. Self-checkout.
Okay. All right. We will be right back here really quick with some invisible ass paddling.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper. It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May your spoon always slip and sink into your hot soup.
Oh, Lord. That man just saw a puppy in half. Hey there. Don't worry. I have a clown nose.
Oh, no. That drunk guy just hit my child. It's okay. I have a clown nose.
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions. Grab one today and make magic happen.
Hi, Mark. And I'm Robert. All right. So as promised a little bit ago, we have some invisible ass paddling.
So I think anyone familiar with the program knows what they are. We're invisible for a day.
We have this genie in a bottle and says, all right, I'm going to give you one wish and it's going to be invisible for a day.
So instead of saving the world, we choose to peddle people's asses that need it. And you know, that's just what kind of assholes we are.
You know, we're like, hey, we don't like this guy. We're going to paddle him to ask because we're invisible and they can't stop us.
So have a brand new list of invisible ass paddling and even a couple of them that are in Hall of Fame.
We're going to paddle their ass again just because we can.
Well, why not? Yep. So first ass paddling is a split. Both of them bare ass right in front of us. Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsom.
Both of them getting ass paddling because of the fucking games they're playing on the American public.
Yes. I had a story on the latest. You can still tell the story because all I'm doing is ass paddling them.
OK, the next one is Big Pharmacy just because. And they should be in the Hall of Fame because they get everybody on pills and that's what they're there to do.
They're not there to really help anybody. They're there to get you get you on pills every week.
So you keep buying them and they keep making excessive profits and they keep keep doing what they do.
So then after the big pharmacy, the entire political system for help raising the debt ceiling again.
I mean, we can't afford our assholes here in America. And every time around, they do the big shake each other's shake their fist.
We're not giving in. Hell no. Fuck these guys. They're not going to screw us over. No, no, we're not budging.
We're not doing anything. And then at the end of the day, they're all hugging and going, OK, we figured it out.
Fuck you guys. I know a dog and pony show when I see one. So the whole political system gets an ass paddling.
Yes, I agree. Skip Bayless just because he skipped Bayless and he's a mouthy little fuck. He's number one on your list.
Oh, yeah, he still is. Another one that's in the Hall of Fame that gets another ass paddling is Elon Musk.
Just because. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. President Biden gets it again for running again when he knows damn well he's fucking drooling
and looking off into space and telling people to get off his lawn in his fucking living room.
You have never asked my opinion on that one. No, go ahead. I would have gave my hands up on the first time.
First time he got a wife that he should have had an ass paddling. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. He should have.
He should have. He should have never. Yeah, he should have never done it. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, I agree.
Look, the guy's a known idiot. And I mean, I don't know what else you can say.
I mean, look, you can be liberal all you want, but at least be honest. The guy isn't all there. You know, he's a puppy.
He's a puppy. Yep. So anyhow, Biden gets it. Everybody knew it was going in. Everybody knew it was going in. Yeah. And he's still the same.
China for constantly screwing with us, putting toxic chemicals in products sent over and being communists.
Yeah. But look, here's the reason I end it. I'll let you in on something here.
The reason I added the Biden thing is because I do not wish to get too political on this program.
And the reason is if you want political radio, you can go anywhere. I don't choose to do that.
I have my opinions. I know how I feel. And I probably will never sway from them because this has been a lifetime to get me where I'm at right now.
You have your opinions. You're never going to sway from them.
So the whole thing is, is whenever you like go around and say that you're going to say this, you're not changing anybody.
You're not going to change their mind. They haven't changed right now. They're not going to.
So I see no reason to even talk about it because nobody's changing their mind just because all of a sudden you walk up there and go,
Well, well, what about what about Biden doing this or what about Trump doing this?
They've already heard it. They don't care. They're not changing.
Well, when I give my opinion, I'm telling you about how I feel about that person.
Okay, that's cool. Yeah, that's cool. I'm not giving you my opinion about the political party. I got you.
I tell you how I feel about Biden. I tell you how I feel about Trump.
You know, when we talk about the Santos and Newsom, I'll tell you how I feel about them.
And that's perfectly fine. It don't matter what political party you are.
If you're an asshole, you're an asshole. And that's just where the assholes come in. Exactly.
So, okay, the next one is Motley Crue for trying to screw the bars and making new music without him.
What a bunch of shit. I mean, not only do they kick him out of the band and then try not to pay him for what he's done when he was the biggest part of Motley Crue,
his sound, you know. And then the next thing you know, after that, you know, they start writing new music with a new guy.
Fuck them. They all need an ass paddling.
And just a second ago, we were laughing about me telling a story about us at Bans for Mall, telling Bon Jovi, John Bon Jovi, that we gave up his tickets for Motley Crue.
Now I'd be taking the Bon Jovi tickets over the Crue tickets.
Yeah, you know, I'm sorry. We mean you and you probably would have.
Yeah, now we would. Let's see. So the next one, Taco Bell for suing for Taco Tuesday and Taco John's for trademarking it.
Both get a bare ass paddling right in front of us. Taco Bell and Taco John's both have to drop their doors.
And then I mean, we can flip it going on who gets to paddle them and who gets to hold them down.
No, actually, I say we let every other restaurant beside that.
We'll just hold them down. We'll hand the paddle over. Mickey D's, Burger Bich, all that.
Oh, no, they're down here. Camden has pretty much all the Mexican restaurants with fast food.
I went to a very good Mexican restaurant there in Camden, and I can't remember the name of it.
It has a big outdoor patio on a hill. That's all I remember.
Yeah, I know. OK. It changes hands a lot. But I know the building. Yeah, that's why I have the rope from where I live.
OK. Well, that was really good. It was really good.
Yeah, it's just off the square.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, the patio is kind of on a hill.
Actually, I'm almost I live three quarters of a mile from the Ozarks, San Bernardino.
Oh, OK. OK. Yeah, we got a lot of big names coming right up the road to me.
Oh, that's cool. Yeah. OK. I keep the update on the concerts coming in. People want to buy tickets.
You know what? That's another. We'll talk about that a little bit later. I'd love that.
All right. All right. OK. The entire metaverse metaverse, the entire metaverse.
And you might as well get fucking what's his name? Old, old, fucking old shit.
What the fuck is his name? Zucker, Zucker, bitch. Yeah. Get him to whatever. Yeah.
All title loan companies, they all get NASP, Adlin. Yeah, because they're only there for one thing.
Screw people over, take their shit for nothing. Yep. Yeah.
Jimmy Garoppolo for failing his fitness test and having to give all his money back.
I guess his foot's fucked up, but he thought he's going to go in there and fake his way through.
And it didn't happen the way it sounds. I thought that should happen years ago. That was funny.
Yeah. I thought he's been a freak all these years. The way the way Mahomes pants him in the Super Bowl told me everything I need to know.
Oh, my God. Yeah. Next one. Aaron Rodgers, the Green Bay Packers organization and the New York Jets all get NASP,
Adlin's at the same time, bare bottom right in front of us. And all that self-explanatory.
I was just waiting for that shit. Oh, wow. All the fucking, all the diatribe and all the shit going back and forth.
It took for fucking ever for him to get that deal done. And every time all the dry jacking. It's nothing but media. It's nothing but space in media.
Yep. And then my very last one, Adidas shoes for constantly being out of double E shoes. So I can't fucking wear them. Sick of it.
Okay. Okay. That's something I do not know about. I cannot help you on that one, brother.
Well, I love Adidas the way they fit, the way they look, but they're always, always, always out of double E shoes. Pisses me off.
So they get NASP, Adlin, just because of that, fuckers. I'll give you that one. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, oh, oh. I forgot. I put one last one in on the other side.
I got it. Disney World gets an ass paddling. Okay. Yep. And that's just because them and DeSantis have been fighting.
So, so anyhow, yep. So. So, yes, Disney World was my last one.
And now I have something to switch things up a little bit. New douche flavors. Oh, right on. Yeah. Well, you see, we have a. Well, some of them.
Yeah. Yeah. It depends on what you call love and why. Okay. You know, we have our Snoop down there in Massingale, right?
And he reports to us. Yeah. He reports to us. He sneaks over and he's like, hey, I haven't met him personally, but I've heard of him. Yeah.
He's kind of like Deep Sky only he's not. He sneaks in there. He grabs these pieces of paper and he brings them to us like a like a happy lap dog.
And we give him like a couple of real sugar Pepsi's and he runs out. It's great. Yeah.
So anyhow, the new douche flavors, the first one or a guy uncovered was carrot and peas flavored.
Yeah. Needless to say, it didn't go that well. Yeah. I guess they blend them together. What do they do? Do they puree them?
I feel like I need a chicken leg to go with it. Now you're on to something. Now you're on to something, Rob.
I can go for that one. Chicken leg too. Hell yeah. I'm in.
Next one. Liver and onions. Oh, hell no. No. No. No. There's no way you can dress that up and make that nice.
Yeah. Done. Nope. Out. No. Ain't no way. No. Can't get in there. Whoever.
Next one. Cheesy bratwurst. I can go for that. I can go for that one. I can go for that one. That'd be alright.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got in there? Cheesy bratwurst. Oh hell yeah. I'm in.
Only on the grill. Only grilled. Yes, I agree. Yeah, grilled. Grilled. The next one is no fucking way, no way, no how.
Clam chowder. Ooh. That kind of turns the stick. That right there. If I think about it too much, I could get the dry heave, so I won't.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's forget about that one. Next one. Kelp and seaweed salad. No. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Kelp is almost the same thing as kale. It's just kind of like the ocean's kale. Yeah. Yeah. That's what had me right there.
Even sounds like it too. Kale, kelp. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Next one. This next one I can go for. Sausage pizza rolls. Oh hell yeah.
I'm in. I'm in. Just point me wherever. I think every man would be. I think so too. That sounds pretty scrumptious actually.
Like what is that honey? Sausage pizza roll. Oh you do love me. Okay. Now you do have to think about her spiciness might irritate a little bit.
Maybe that's why they nixed it before it even got off the ground then. Well. But if you hurry up. Yeah, that's true. Nevermind.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Next one. Bacon legs. I could go for that. Oh hell yeah.
Who doesn't love bacon legs? Oh yeah. Sounds fucking delicious to me. Next one. You have to put milk in it and that's where I draw the line.
Look I like milk with my cereal and stuff is still maple check cereal. Nah. Nah. You have to add milk to it. I'm out.
Next one. This next one could be good. Just depends on what kind of meat you're doing. Cheese whiz.
I'm sorry. Don't worry. We'll talk about that off air. Yeah we will. That is a true story. We will talk about that one.
Okay. Okay. Well there you have it. Rob Radd has already tried cheese whiz. Not a good option.
Years ago. Years ago. I understand. This next one not an option at all. Seafood gumbo. No. No. No.
Imagine those little pieces of like seafood, shrimp and whatever. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
This next one is a definite hell no. Cream peas. No. Cream of nothing. No. No. No. No. No. No cream of anything in there.
Yeah. No. And then the last but not least. Fig Newton. Oh hell no. No. No. That's about as bad as liver raisins.
I would agree. That's the three on my list. Liver raisins, figs. No. We are on 100% the same. The same. Yep.
Oh and Rob Persimmons. Oh Rob Persimmons. Oh my god. That trick was played on me one time. Rob Persimmons.
We will have to talk about that off there too I guess. No that is still off the line there. Oh go ahead. Later. Later. Okay.
Alright. Well. Let's get on with the night. Okay. Yep. Just let me know when. Alrighty.
Alright Rob. You had a story you wanted to get to or a fact or a statement or something I believe.
Oh yeah. Well actually I'm kind of having a hard time to believe in this one. Okay. Back in 2017 70 students drank so much alcohol at a house party in Maryland that the air inside the house registered positive on a breathalyzer.
Is that true? I don't know. It's just something I read. I'll have to look at it. Well see I really haven't had time to look into this one because I've been busy looking at other stories.
Okay. No that's cool. Here's my problem with it. Okay. How did they get that air into that breathalyzer? You have to blow it. You have to blow that's right. Hard. I know.
It makes you wonder if maybe like a cop came out. That right there is starting to make me want to debunk this story. Okay here's what I think might have happened and you can agree or don't think or whatever or come up with your own conclusion.
I'll bet you a cop came out of there and he said man they had so much alcohol in there that the whole room filled the breathalyzer and someone believed it.
Okay. You think maybe that could have been it? You know what? Here before we do anything else I'll look at the very next podcast.
I'll go to Snopes and a couple other sources. The very next podcast I will have us an answer on that or not and then you look it up too and we'll both read our finds on air and see if they're both the same or if we actually believe one over the other or whatever.
Well the reason that this caught my eye is because you and me have been at many parties with over 70 people. Yes.
And I do not remember the air breathing of alcohol back then. No I remember people coming up and talking in my face and I could smell like 10 gallons of whiskey on it. But I don't remember just walking in.
You see that would lead me to believe like maybe someone was like overdoing it and acting like that was or just having fun tongue in cheek. Someone took him serious or someone was making a joke and they didn't get it.
So anyhow. That's why I brought this story up because I knew you and I had our... We will slip this out and we will figure it out and we will come up with an answer. But in a breathalyzer that's the part that got me.
Yeah. You gotta blow that air hard into a breathalyzer. Well you know what who knows. But anyhow I've got a story that I want to end this podcast on really quick if you don't mind.
Okay. Did you see where the Chiefs went to the White House because they won the Super Bowl right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. In case anyone's wondering. Sorry about that.
Oh no no. This last time. Last year. They went to the White House two days ago.
Alright. Okay. The Chiefs of White House visited. In case anyone was wondering what Travis Kelsey was doing growing up to the pulpit at the White House. Kelsey had planned on saying, my fellow Americans as a joke.
That's all he was doing. He went up to the podium and Mahomes quickly caught on and most likely probably saved Kelsey some issues.
Travis admitted this on his New Heights podcast. Him and his brother Jason host every week.
Travis admitted that he probably was going to... He was probably saved by Mahomes quick thinking.
But he was going to walk up to the podium and he was going to say, my fellow Americans as a joke.
And that's what the big hubbub was about. About why Kelsey ran over to the podium.
They said what happened is they were trying to... Another player was trying to distract Biden which was easy.
Probably hand puppets or something or jello. Yeah. Yeah.
And when he was distracted Kelsey went over to the podium and then Mahomes quickly moved him out of the way.
Look it up on YouTube since you didn't see it. No. No. No. I read this. Yeah. I had this story.
Oh damn it. Okay. Well. No. No. You got it. It's yours.
Okay. Well anyhow I just wanted to end the podcast with that because I thought it was funny. I loved it. Yeah. I did too.
Alright Robbie. Let's wish each other a good night and we're going to be doing a podcast tomorrow and possibly the next night too.
So this is podcast one out of three in a row you lucky fuckers get.
So anyhow you guys can open up your greedy ear holes and they can absorb all of our banter.
Okay. And remember whenever you're feeling down remember you're number one. You're the sperm of one.
There's Robbie Stott for the podcast. Anyway bye fuckers.
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags.
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Hey where do they go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh jeez.
Ugh I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
Phew man that smells.