Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,
from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,
it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct washrags,
Two Douchebags and a Microphone invade your ear holes in 3, 2, 1...
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Moving right along here.
You know how we do things to whisper in a stranger's ear?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, I have some more of these little gems.
These are always funny.
Yeah. These ones are weird.
Because some of these make you think.
This one here is really going to make you think because it is a weird one.
So, things to whisper in a stranger's ear.
If I could talk.
Ear. Stranger's ear, not eel.
Stranger's ear.
First one.
Say no to drugs.
Yeah, they're either like, oh, okay, maybe I better.
Or they're just like, what the fuck? I don't do drugs.
So, anyhow.
Yeah. That would be a common one, actually.
Yeah, it is. That one's not that good, but I just had to put it in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Next one is Kale is a weed.
Well, that's just playing truth.
Yeah, yeah. It's garbage.
Yeah, whoever did that was playing a joke.
And then he realized that the American public actually believed him,
so he kept it going.
When he first did it, he's like, ha ha,
everyone's going to laugh when they see this shit on a plate.
They're going, oh my God, look at that, man.
Ha ha, look, man, I'm not that stupid.
And then people start worshiping it, going, oh my God, this is the best stuff ever.
I'm glad my yard is picked up. Looks just like it.
And tastes better.
Yeah, yeah.
A fucking dandelion that's been pissed on tastes better than kale.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I like that kale video where they show the guy cooking kale
and then he goes in the next thing to do to prepare it to eat.
He throws it straight in the garbage.
Yep, that's the only way. That's the only way.
This next one that you whisper into strangers' ear, I love.
If time is the best teacher, why does it kill all its students?
It does.
That's actually a good question.
Yeah, if it's such a good teacher, why does it kill all its students?
Time.
That is a good question.
Yeah, yeah.
So next one, sometimes the road less traveled is for good reason.
That's honest truth, too.
Yeah, there might be a lot of potholes in it. It might go nowhere.
Yeah, yeah. A lot of potholes.
I told you this is a weird addition of the things to whisper in a stranger's ear.
This is like kind of really ironic weird things that you can whisper in their ear
where they walk off and go, what?
Yeah.
Next one, I'm horrible at advice.
How about a sarcastic comment?
And they're like, I need to ask for advice or a sarcastic comment.
Right.
Guess I'm getting one.
Next one, children believe in fairy tales.
I moved on to political speeches.
It's about the same, Don.
Actually, I think they believe in fairy tales more.
Me too. They're more believable and they're more trustworthy, too.
Yeah.
Yep. I like that one soundbite they used to play.
The only thing worse than a politician is a child molester.
And that's not by very far.
Actually, in some conditions, it's the same.
I believe it. Yeah. Oh, well, yeah.
Look at the Lolita Express of Jeffrey Epstein and look at all the political neighbors.
Yeah. Yeah.
But we'll never find out the names because the guy killed himself.
Yeah. I don't believe he's dead.
I honestly do not.
I don't either.
And there's people involved that's been leaked out already.
They're covering up the proof of it.
Well, I mean, all of a sudden after he died, they act like there's no list.
There's still a list.
There's so many people involved, so many big names.
They can't let that out.
A big part of Bill Gates' divorce, they said, allegedly, was because he kept traveling with Epstein to the island.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Yeah, but he was trying to say that he was doing philanthropic things.
But why couldn't he do that here in America instead of having to go to this island?
Right. Yeah.
I mean, Bill Clinton, how many times did he register on that fucking plane?
Right. Yeah.
And I mean, we already know.
I mean, if you ever did any dealings with Clinton, watch your back, allegedly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Next one. I can give you advice.
I never use it.
That actually sounds like me.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll give advice all day long. He's like, well, do you practice that?
Eh, not really.
The sad part is the advice I give is actually good.
No, me too.
I'll listen to anyone and try to help them.
I mean, myself, fucking forget it.
Yeah, I gave up years ago on me.
Yeah, me too.
I'm like, look, it is what it is on me, so just go on.
Yeah.
Next one I really love.
My parents moved a lot as a child.
I always found them.
You see what I mean by this is a weird one?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I found these weird things to say to people online.
And I was like, that would be so just just a whisper in someone's ear just to do them the RCA victor.
If nothing else here, you know, let's see.
Let's see. Where was I?
I don't always spew profanities.
I enunciate them like a civilized person.
So, I mean, you know, you have to enunciate fuck and piss.
I guess so.
I mean, if you don't enunciate it, I guess it could sound like fudge, right?
It depends if I hit my head with a hammer or not.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that comes out.
Yeah.
That's a very normal conversation.
Yeah.
I mean, hitting yourself with a hammer is a special kind of fuck you scream out.
Yes, it is.
Oh, yeah.
It's not a regular fuck.
It is like a fuck of ages.
It's like a super fuck that you yell out.
It's a fuck that can be heard in people's bones.
Oh, yeah, they hear me clear down to the shop.
Yeah, it's like a banshee screaming is what it is.
Next one, I got a secret.
And that's it.
I got a secret.
That's it.
So, you know, it's up to them whether they always stick their foot in shit or not, right?
I wouldn't know what to say to that.
I would stay away.
I'm like, this is obviously a setup and I'm not going to fall for it.
I'm not going to ask them what the secret is.
I see this coming right now.
I'll ask them what it is and bam, all of a sudden I'm in it.
Yep.
Next one.
Next Monday it is.
I'm like, what?
What next Monday?
Can you just walk off?
What?
What the hell?
Do I have to be here?
Do I have to wear a suit?
Let me know.
Next one.
Told you I'd be back.
That would scare me.
Yeah.
It's like, where did I know him from and why is he back?
Uh oh.
Next one.
I love this one because it's just stupid and it's just, and it also does make you think a little bit.
Do you need a hunting license to buy a mousetrap?
Do you need a hunting license to buy a mattress?
That is actually a good question.
I say since you're actually really essentially hunting a mouse, right?
Yeah.
A live animal.
I can see like the little cart with like a little Mickey Mouse on there or something or a little Minnie Mouse.
Yeah.
Your mouse hunting license.
If not, we can make one up.
Make it look just like the Mickey Mouse cart.
Yeah.
Put like little Lonnie on there or what was some of the other ones?
Who's the little Annette?
Was it little Annette Fonicello?
It was like Annette?
Yeah.
I was trying to think.
There's some other ones too.
Oh well.
End up being some beach babe.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
Next one.
Force-filled activated.
I think you'll get this final one here and this one I love because only certain people
are going to get it.
Giant robot launch.
Johnny Sacco.
Remember Johnny Sacco?
Yeah.
You had the little kid that had the wristwatch that he commanded the robot?
Yeah, he did.
Yeah.
And he used to go, giant robot launch into his watch.
Isn't that big crazy looking fucking robot would like start launching and then go save
the world or something?
Yeah.
Alright.
I had some other big robot or something.
Yeah.
Ultraman was cool too.
Remember Ultraman?
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, they were both from Japan and they were both kind of like mechanical weird looking
monsters or whatever.
But Ultraman was cool.
He got his powers from the sun and he was cool.
Yeah.
But let's see, Johnny Sacco, the giant robot, didn't it have like missiles for fingers?
I think so.
I got to go watch some of that again.
But yeah, I sure enjoyed the hell out of those.
So anyhow.
Remember long haired Mike from Jess and Jim's?
Long haired Mike.
Yeah.
Hang on.
Tony Housemite?
Yeah.
Hang on.
I'll say you the last name so you can remember.
Hang on a minute.
I'm going to pause this.
Yeah, him.
That Mike.
Yeah.
Okay.
Remember his dad?
Did you ever go to his house?
Occasionally.
On occasion.
Okay.
He lived there in Martin City.
Yeah.
And his dad collected venomous snakes.
Yeah.
And he had them in big terrariums or aquariums or whatever.
Aquariums I guess.
That's part of why I didn't go over there very often.
Well me and my brother John went over there, right?
And we walked in and there's this giant timber rattler in this aquarium in the middle of
the room.
And we had no idea that his dad collected snakes.
So we walk in there, right?
And the snake's getting pissed off rattling.
So me and my brother like, you know, poking at it and shit and pissing it off really bad.
And the snake is striking at the glass and hurting itself.
And we were dumb teenagers.
I wouldn't do it nowadays because why, you know?
Right.
Yeah.
But we're like, you know, half stone.
And Mike kept going, stop doing it.
You're going to hurt the snake.
Or the snake has a very good memory.
And if you fuck with it and if it ever gets out, it's going to come for you.
And we're like, ah, it's not going to get out.
You know, we didn't even think we were going to go back to his house actually, right?
So this is a few months later, okay?
And Mike's like, hey man, I've got to go get some weed.
I got it at the house.
Allegedly.
And so we went over there to get his said weed out of his room.
We walk in and all of a sudden Mike looks real funny and he goes, stop.
Stop.
So we stop.
I'm fucking serious.
Don't move a muscle.
What?
Don't move a muscle.
The snake got out.
You know the ones you were fucking with?
Oh shit.
So we're sitting there, not moving a fucking muscle, scared to death.
And Mike's like, hang on a minute.
I got to go find this snake.
And he said, and don't even try to get out of the house.
The fucking thing's smart.
It's probably waiting for you to go back to the door.
Oh shit.
So me and my brother are paralyzed pretty much shitting ourselves because this giant timber
rattler wants to kill us because we fucked with it.
And all of a sudden here we are in a house where we don't know where it's at.
I'm like right next to the couch.
My brother's right next to the chair.
And we're thinking the fucker's underneath there getting ready to come out and fucking
jab us, right?
So me and my brother are like, oh shit man, we're going to fucking get murdered by a snake.
And then finally Mike goes, he comes in there and he had this snake pole and he had the
snake on the end of it.
And he's like winging it nearest.
But what I didn't know, we're like freaking out.
And he goes, relax.
He said, the snake cannot strike unless it has something to force itself against, to
spring at you.
It cannot strike you in air.
It doesn't have the muscle to.
So he's winging it nearest, having fun knowing that it can't get us, and he's got it on that
snake pole and it can't get off of it.
He's got it secured there.
And we're shitting.
And so he put it back in the aquarium.
He goes, now next time are you fuckers going to listen to me?
Yeah Mike, yeah, we're sorry man.
We'll never fuck with your snake again.
We're really, really sorry.
Hey, while you're talking about Mike in Martin City, party house Mike.
Oh, are you thinking about Steve?
Are you thinking about party house Steve?
Right behind Justin Jims?
Steve, Steve, yeah, Steve, Steve.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he still works there.
Do what?
This is a record.
I've seen it crapped on the porch.
It was you?
It was not me, just for the record.
Oh, it was not you?
Oh no, no, no, that was my friend Darren.
Okay, because you mentioned that he was on probation.
I was not on probation when we were hanging out.
No, no, no, no, no, no, that was my friend Darren because we were bored.
There was a party going on somewhere and nobody caught it.
Me or him didn't catch it.
Yeah, yeah.
So.
Well, that sounds like something that would happen to me and you.
No, it would be and we probably did crap on a porch or two.
To be honest, I mean, you know, there's a lot of shit I don't remember that people come up to me about and I'm like, really?
We did that?
And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, we did that.
Oh, oh, sounds fun or sounds stupid or whatever, you know.
Let's see.
No, what that was was we were at the party house, bored as hell.
Everybody was gone.
And there's a party going on somewhere and we didn't know about neither one of us got the memo.
So we're left out.
We didn't know where it was.
It's probably down at Longview Lake or something.
Right.
So we didn't know.
So we're like, oh, fuck.
So we're just sitting there.
We start to watch TV and we're like, man, this sucks.
We got to find something to do.
Like, yeah, we do.
So he goes, oh, no, run around the block naked, clucking like a chicken.
OK.
I go and I do that.
I come back.
That was funny, man.
I think that old lady next door saw you.
So then I'm like, all right, your turn.
He goes, OK.
I said, well, I go, you see that house next door?
Go over there, take a dump on it, throw some leaves on top of it, light it on fire, crack it, you know, slam on the door a couple of times so they wake up.
They'll run out and they'll try to put it out and get smoldering shit all over their shoe.
So, yeah, OK.
No big deal.
So he goes over there and I see the silhouette in the in the moonlight of Darren squatted over and I can see like these little chunks of shit coming out of his ass shadowy shit coming out of his ass.
And I was in there cracking up and I can almost see him concentrate and trying to drop these turds.
Then I see him go, fucking put his fucking drawers up, run over, grab some leaves.
I see them sprinkle them real carefully on there.
Then I see the lighter flick in.
Then I see a little flame.
I see him running off.
It was so funny.
I wish we had video cameras back then.
We didn't even have cell phones.
I would have had that on video.
It would have been a fucking multimillion hit on YouTube.
Guy shits on a porch and lights it.
So he comes back and we're just sitting there.
And finally, we both fall asleep in our chairs.
And I wake up, I see this glow in the window.
Like, that's odd.
I get out there and I see the fucking the porches on fire, but not terribly just in the middle there.
Right. And a bunch of firemen out there fucking laughing because they knew what had happened.
They're like, up.
So I did the old shit on their fucking porch.
And anyhow, I wake there and I'm like, dude, man, look, look over there. He looks over there.
Oh shit. I'm on probation, man.
They're going to fucking catch me, man, for arson.
I go relax. They're all fucking laughing.
Listen, they're laughing.
I don't know, man.
I don't fucking trust this.
I don't want to go to jail.
Like, they're laughing, man.
They're not going to come looking for you.
Besides that, nobody's seen you do it.
You're over here all night.
I saw you.
I'm your witness.
So he finally settles down.
They get the they get the fire out.
I go outside and I'm like, man, what happened?
And they're like, some kid played a joke.
Oh, no shit.
Yeah.
So we took a dump on the porch and let it on fire, man.
Fucking some kid did it.
I'm like, yeah, man, that's childish as hell.
Who would do that?
I don't know.
You're as good as ours.
So they go their way.
I go mine.
I go there. It's all cool.
They don't give a shit, dude.
They think they think some kid did it.
We're fine.
So anyhow, yeah, that was not you.
No, if it sounded like let me clarify, that was not Rad Robb that did that.
That was Darren, my friend Darren that did that.
And he's a guy I'd like to get on the show.
He he has stories that I know he remember because the last time I talked to him, he brought up a couple of them.
And I was like, we did that.
And he goes, yeah, I mean, you did.
Or me, you and so and so did that.
I'm like, wow.
OK.
And yeah, anyhow, there was another time it was me and you and your brother.
Uh huh.
We were it was broad daylight.
We were like priest or prospect or what?
Somewhere down in there.
We were down in there deep.
Yeah.
And I believe we were in the old century.
OK.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Century 500 or no, no, no, no.
Was it your drive Galaxy Galaxy 500?
We're in John's car.
Oh, because I was was that a Monte Carlo?
Somerset or Omega Omega Omega.
I know which one you're talking about.
Yeah, it was cream colored.
John was driving.
Yeah.
In the middle and you were sitting on the passenger side and you had this water gun.
Uh huh.
Or that look.
Yeah, kind of real black.
We're sitting at this stoplight and there's a bus stop right there.
All kinds of people sitting in this bus stop.
You stick this damn gun out the window and go bang, bang.
Oh, man.
Your brother was short anyway, but you could not see him.
It was a red light.
He nailed the guy.
Oh, shit.
You could not do that nowadays.
He was so mad.
I can't believe you just did that.
You're going to get us killed.
We know you're first.
We know you're getting the fuck out of there, dude.
That was hilarious.
That's awesome.
People started jumping and running.
It was funny.
That's cooler than shit, man.
I don't remember it, but cooler.
That was one of those things that it wasn't planned.
It just happened.
Well, those were the best ones.
They were always like that.
Yeah, they were.
Did you hear about the new beer can they came out with?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's got two openings.
You there?
I'm here.
Okay.
The Bluetooth fell.
That's why I was asking.
Okay, there's a new beer can.
It's a Japanese design studio.
Nendo has developed an alternative beer can with two angled pool tabs.
Not two openings, two pool tabs, which were manufactured to control the level of foam produced by opening the can.
The can is cylindrical in shape, the can is slender gray, huge container that features two numbered pool tabs rather than the traditional single tab.
Nendo intended to produce a can beer that can create the ideal foam when poured into the glass.
So the pool tabs are labeled one and two.
And as one could guess, pull one first and then pull two last.
The beer can has been test marketed and has great feedback so far.
They expect it to be in full run possibly by the end of the year.
Oh, no I had not.
What about that one?
Well, I mean, I can pour a perfect beer if I'm careful.
I mean, are they going to charge a bunch more money?
Is it gimmicky or do they actually mean this to like help people pour a better beer?
I mean, you know.
I don't pour beer.
I just open the can and drink it.
Yeah, you know what?
I don't really care for canned beer very much anymore.
I like bottled beer.
And I'm the same way.
I open the bottle and I drink it.
I mean, my preferred beer now anymore is Yenling.
And I've been on Yenling for quite a while, my regular beers.
And Yenling has been around for quite a while, but not in the Midwest.
It's been on the East Coast.
You know, I used to go out of town all the time for my work, right?
And I first discovered Yenling up in the Northeast, up near Connecticut, New York, all the way.
It's made in Pennsylvania.
Yeah, it's made in Pennsylvania, yes.
And anyhow, I love this stuff and especially a draft.
It on draft is the best ever.
It's got a nice multi-taste.
Do what?
I have not tried it yet personally.
I've been wanting to though.
Try it.
I love it.
So anyhow, I discovered it up there and I started smuggling it back in my suitcase because it was too far to drive.
Well, and also I couldn't because I was working.
So I'd have to come back in a plane because that's the way they sent me there and brought me back.
So I'd have to smuggle it back and I could only bring back like a six pack or something.
And I had to get cans, but I love it in bottles more.
And you know, I had to just do what I had to do to get it here, right?
And I went down to Lucas Liquors, which is a huge liquor store here in Kansas City.
I mean, it's a huge box warehouse liquor store.
And I go.
I think I've heard of it.
Okay.
It's not very far from my house, about a mile and a half.
I go down there and I'm like, no problem.
I'll just start ordering it instead of smuggling it back.
Well, they wouldn't sell it here.
They said there's something about the shelf space and the laws.
There's no way they could get it because it would be infringing on their deal or whatever.
Because Ann Hazard Bush was a big swinging dick around here.
They didn't want you to lean here for nothing, from what I understand.
So I guess it's like a shelf space issue.
Like they couldn't get any shelf space.
If that is true, what the guy told me.
So I couldn't get it at Lucas, so I had to smuggle it back all the time.
So then they started selling it in Florida.
So I started bringing it back from Florida, which was a little bit easier than the East Coast.
Because I could get it nonstop to Florida pretty easily through Southwest.
No big deal.
So I'd smuggle it back and I'd just bring an extra suitcase.
So I went through all this shit to always bring Inling back.
So then they started opening the market up more and they brought it to Tennessee and Kentucky.
So I'm like, all right, you know.
Did a big job in Nashville, a couple of jobs in Nashville actually.
But a big one a couple of years ago, a few years ago now.
And anyhow, I was drinking Inling there.
And there's this country bar there that has Inling for a dollar a glass, right?
Turned happy hour, very happy hours, like three hours.
And anyhow, I got pretty rotted on that.
I drank quite a few dollar Inlings.
So anyhow, I started smuggling it back from Tennessee.
So then they brought it to Arkansas.
And I'm like, fuck, are they ever going to bring it to Missouri?
So Arkansas was very manageable because we go to Eureka Springs a couple of times a year at least.
And we drive.
So I'd fucking I'd bring back three, four cases all the time.
So then they added Texas.
And I'm like, they're never going to have Missouri.
But then all of a sudden, just out of nowhere, the end of last year, they added Missouri, Oklahoma and Kansas.
So we are in the good for Inling.
So yeah, it's showing up down here.
It's good.
What?
I found the Hershey's.
The Hershey's Inling.
Hershey's Inling?
Well, I've seen it.
It's like Hershey's chocolate.
Well, they're made in basically the same area of Potsville, Pennsylvania and Hershey, Pennsylvania are not that far away.
So that doesn't surprise me that they're that they're dealing with each other.
I've had a couple of beer groups on Facebook.
Uh huh.
And I've seen them from time to time on there.
It's Hershey's and Inling.
Yeah.
I'll look it up online.
You know what?
I'll do that right now since I'm at my computer.
All right.
I got you my phone.
Doesn't matter.
Whoever finds it first.
There it is.
Inling was Hershey's chocolate.
It looks good.
Hershey's chocolate Porter.
We're in Ling.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah.
That's the one that caught my eye.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to.
Oh, that's beautiful.
I can only find the originals down here.
OK.
I'm going to I'll tell you what.
Next time you're up, I can order that from Lucas because they sell you in Ling here now.
So I can get that.
It's not going to be against the law for them to sell it.
Yeah.
See, down here, all we have is like Walmart and GURBS.
GURBS?
You know.
What's GURBS?
It's like a Dillons or a Kroger.
Oh, OK.
OK.
They have different names, different areas.
You know, but they're owned by Kroger.
OK.
Oh, GURBER?
But you can't go in special order out of them.
OK.
What is the name of them again?
GURBS.
GURBS?
How do you spell that?
G-E-R-B-E-O.
Hmm.
It's a grocery store.
OK.
And they're a chain?
They're owned by Kroger?
Yeah.
OK.
Well, I know Kroger, for some reason, was not allowed to sell in Missouri because of
some, I don't know.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Let me see if I can look at it.
I haven't looked at it.
I haven't even looked to see if they even carry this one.
That's the only thing they don't.
OK.
Let's see.
Kroger, Missouri.
They did some antitrust thing or something, I thought.
I don't know.
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Clown nose.
Just put one on and you can do anything.
Want to run for office?
Murder people in public?
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.
Two ass bags and a box of Cheez-Its will be right back.
No, I guess not.
Kroger stores.
Kroger has one store in Rolla, Missouri.
I guess they don't.
I guess what I heard was wrong.
I apologize, Kroger.
What?
Yeah, I heard they were kicked out of Missouri quite a while ago because of some, I don't know, union deal or something.
And that's why they weren't in here.
But I can't find anything that says anything at all about it.
And plus they have stores in Missouri, so.
Yeah, I think they're franchise owned.
Oh, so anyone could like build one there if they wanted.
Yeah, I think so.
But they do sell Kroger products.
And they take the Kroger rewards.
OK, so it's the same.
It's just like in Colorado, in southern, mid-southern Colorado, Pagosa Springs had like.
Oh, shoot, I forgot.
Damn, I forgot the name of it.
Something like grocery card or something like that.
And I go in there and everything's Kroger.
It's the same store except for the name.
I think it's called like Food Cart or something like that.
And everything was Kroger.
I'm like, man, this is a Kroger store.
It's just not called Kroger.
It had Kroger everything in there.
And anyhow, I thought that was interesting, too.
They have so many spinoffs like Dylan, Gerber or Gerbs.
I'm looking at my rewards card right now.
I've got Bakers, King Super Stores, Pryor, Smiths, and a couple others.
Pryor's are owned by Kroger, too?
They're listed on this card.
No wonder they're the country's largest grocer.
And that's why they own all these ancillary stores.
And the cause is Dylan's out of Hutchison, Kansas.
www.dylinds.com.
Dylan's is big in Kansas, but they were around Olathe and Overland Park, but all of them left.
I don't know what happened.
I lived down in Pittsburgh and we had one down there.
Oh, I love Pittsburgh, Kansas.
Do you ever go to Chicken Annie's and Chicken Mary's?
I used to.
Isn't that fucking great, Chicken?
Oh, it's the best.
Oh, I love that place, man.
I'll tell you what, it is cheap, too.
Yeah, it is.
But the thing is...
We used to order it and just go pick it up on a family night.
Yeah.
Yep.
You have to know where it's at if you miss the sign.
It's on a gravel road.
Yeah, it's very interesting.
Do you know how it originated?
Oh, I used to.
I can't remember right off the bat.
Okay, you know like the Mendel mines and all that area in there?
They mined for coal, right?
In all the strip pits?
Okay.
Well, there was this lady, Chicken Annie, they called her.
She made the best fried chicken around.
And she was...
You know, there's some miners there.
They could not find a place to eat, you know, because there wasn't anything there back then.
I mean, you're talking, you know, early 1900s, I believe, something like that.
Yeah.
So, and that's how long those...
Yeah, that's how long those restaurants have been around and still doing good.
So, a couple of them said, you know, we're going to go talk to this Chicken Annie lady
and see if she'll make us fried chicken every day for money.
You know, we'll pay her.
So, she decided to do it.
And then more of them came up.
And then more of the miners, because they go back to the minefields
and they'd have this delicious chicken while everyone's like eating
like whatever the hell they get their hands on basically, right?
Right.
So, they're like, oh shit, you got fresh hot chicken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, up the road there.
Chicken Annie's, we talked her into making us some.
What?
So, all of them started going up there.
And then pretty soon she got so popular, not just from the miners,
but everyone else is like, you know, hey, Chicken Annie's making chicken for miners.
What?
Okay, well, let's go see if we'll get her to make some for us.
So, then she finally...
The reason that first building's an old farmhouse is because it was an old farmhouse.
Yeah.
Yeah, she had to convert her house into the restaurant
and then build another house back behind it.
Yep.
And then Chicken Mary's was her cousin and is very much friendly.
They're not adversary at all.
They're friendly.
No, no, they're not.
No, they both do very well and it's the same recipe.
Chicken Mary was her cousin and she opened up her restaurant there.
It's the same recipe, only there's like one small difference, I believe,
like what they cook it in or something.
Yeah.
Something like that, but it's basically the same chicken.
So, whenever you ask people, everybody has their slight favorite.
But have you ever been to Bartow's?
Yes, I have.
I like Bartow's a lot.
That's down there in Frontenac or Pittsburgh, too.
Frontenac.
Frontenac, yeah.
It's down there in Frontenac, Kansas, right next to Pittsburgh, Kansas.
Yeah, it's pretty much the same town.
Yeah, it's the same town.
Yeah, let's be real.
So, it's the same town.
So, Bartow's Idle Hour Chicken was a completely different story
because an Idle Hour was the hours, okay, in a bar, it was a bar, right?
Bartow's was a bar.
And the Idle Hour is like three to six or three to five.
They call it the Idle Hour because nobody's in there.
The daytime crowd went home and the nighttime crowd was going to get in there after work, right?
So, during the Idle Hour, Bartow's had this own recipe of chicken that they had
that was, you know, similar to Annie's and Mary's, but not quite.
I think Bartow's was more of a buttermilk, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was really good, too.
Yeah, so they started doing their chicken there and they got very popular.
But it was only during the Idle Hour.
And then finally they're like, you know what?
Screw the bar.
We'll serve drinks here and everything.
But we're going to become a chicken house like the other two.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so that's how Bartow's became one of the areas, ones, too.
But I like Bartow's really well, too.
Yeah, I was over in that area from about 2014 to 2016.
I left the Lake area, went over there and came back.
And Bartow's was still open at that time in 2016.
Oh, was it shut down?
No, it was still open at that time.
Oh, okay.
They're probably still open then, yeah.
They're a good place.
I love their chicken just as well.
Their chicken's fantastic.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of good food down around that area.
Yeah, it was just so hard to get in Chicken Mary's and Chicken Annie's.
You had to wait.
That's one of my favorite things.
I'd rather go to like the small burger stands on the side of the road.
Yeah, me too.
That's where you find the best food.
Oh, I tell you.
Have you been around Nevada, Missouri?
Yes, yes.
Have you ever been to the White...
I was around the Fort Scott, Pittsburgh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
You ever been to the White Grill in Nevada?
No, I have not been to the White Grill.
Oh, shit.
You talk about great food.
Oh, my God.
Go there when you get a chance.
Next time I'm over that way, I'm gonna have to get in.
It was still open a few years ago, so I think they're still open.
I know the name.
I do know the name.
Oh, it's famous.
The guy that owned it, I think he's gone now, but his son has it.
But it's been around forever, forever.
Yeah.
And people know it far and wide.
People know the White Grill all over the country.
Because they, I don't know if they still have it,
but you know those metal tiles that they put,
the copper tiles and the bronze tiles that they stamp and put on the ceilings?
Is that place still there?
Yeah, on the ceilings.
I don't know.
Well, it was there for a long time.
And a lot of people would come in from all over the country to get that ceiling tile,
because they made it there.
They only had the rollers and pressers there.
Nobody really figured out how to do it,
but this place had been doing it for years.
And people come over from all over the country to see that place,
and then they direct them to the White Grill.
They say, well, while you're here, you've got to go to the White Grill
and get you a bite to eat.
And everyone would.
So they're known all over the country because of that ceiling tile place there.
Huh.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know if that ceiling tile place is still open or not.
Okay. Yeah, it's not that big of a building,
but they put out a lot of tile for ceilings.
Yeah.
Yep.
And on the banks of the beautiful Marmotin River.
Yes, yes, it is.
Oh, yeah. It is pretty, though.
I mean, it's muddy as fuck, but it's pretty.
I mean, I'll tell you what, you want to catch...
I'm still fishing down there.
Yeah, you want to catch some catfish, some mud cat?
Yeah.
Oh, shit, man.
Those things practically beat each other up for your worm.
So there you have it.
Those things are good.
Have you ever spoon-billed?
No, I have not.
I don't have the patience for it.
I know people who spoon-bill and love it.
I have a lot of friends that do, but I personally don't.
Yeah, me neither.
It didn't sound very appealing to me, like hang around with a treble hook
and hope something runs into it.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, thank you.
I'd rather put bait on there and then think that someone's going to go,
hey, man, is that a juicy worm?
Hell, I think I'm going to go bite that.
Yeah, that sounds better to me than just run around with a treble hook.
So anyhow, I don't know.
You can't even eat most of the meat off the spoon-bill anyhow.
It's mainly just for game to get it.
It's just for game, really.
Right.
Yeah, so there you go.
Let me see if I can get to another story here real quick.
All right.
Oh, nothing like being prepared, huh?
Tell me about it.
Yep.
Let's see.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Oh, I got one.
You know, we talked about wasp quite a bit, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, okay then.
You ever hear the raw meat at Chris Holmes' amp storey?
No.
Now, they used to throw raw meat at the audience, remember?
Oh, yes, yes.
I got smacked in the side of the head with a piece of fucking liver.
I think it was liver.
It looked like liver.
And anyhow, some of these crazy fucks were fucking taking bites out of the raw meat
and spitting them at people.
So anyhow, but so be it.
When I go to a wasp concert, I expect stuff like that.
So, you know, it's on me.
So wasp is a shock rock, crotch rock band known for famous antics such as stiletto heels
as tall as seven inches.
Their stiletto heels were usually about seven, eight inches.
And while they're jumping around on stage, they're all at least six, four, six, five.
And they're like these fucking tall mammoth people jumping around on stiletto stilettos.
And they would literally jump all over the stage.
It was just it took talent just to do that.
Torture racks with women on them, fire, and of course, one of the most famous gimmicks,
raw meat.
Yes, sir.
I remember the raw meat being thrown at the crowd many times at any particular wasp show.
They used to call it animal confetti.
I know. Isn't that great?
Yeah.
So, you know, they they tried their best to keep the raw meat from all the prize guitars.
You know, Chris Holmes had a lot of really expensive guitars.
And, you know, and Blackie Lawless did, too.
All of them did.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
They had all these beautiful, you know, and he had his own line of bases there for a long time.
Blackie did.
And I think Chris had Chris had some pickups or something, but he had some mean guitars.
So Chris's amp wasn't so lucky.
They played a show and were going to record some more songs for their upcoming The Last Command after after the show.
You know, like they were going to go back somewhere and start recording after this one show.
They're going to they're going to record for The Last Command, which was a very good album.
So the amp was pelted with pounds of raw meat.
The record went into the amp went into storage right after the show.
Two months later, Chris went to go pick out the equipment he is going to use for the and his prize Marshall was covered in maggots.
Oh, man.
Luckily, he had a backup that he liked almost as well.
And he used that while his Marshall stack was cleaned inside and out.
But he said he could always smell that maggot rotted meat smell on it the whole time.
So he ended up his prize Marshall.
He ended up like selling it because maybe some other people didn't mind the raw meat and maggot smell, but he did.
He couldn't stand it.
So he got rid of it.
And that was his prize Marshall.
He loved that.
Oh, yeah.
There's no way you can get all the smell out of that.
Oh, no, not at all.
And all the components and.
Wow.
Yeah. So yeah.
Now, anyhow, I thought that was a pretty cool story.
And, you know, since you and I've talked about Blackie and we lived through that and everything, I thought that'd be a pretty good story to bring up.
So yeah.
Oh, and you've been talking about some other bands lately.
I have I've always listened to you always been big fans of what were they?
That's right.
That's like rainbow, deep purple.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
And you're well, you and Tova both been talking about deep tracks.
Yeah, because that's what the good stuff is.
It is not the shit you hear on radio constantly over and over and over.
But the stuff that you I mean, like April Wine, April Wine is one that's been forgotten about.
And wasn't April Wine just a fantastic band?
They were.
Yeah, they had so many great songs all over town.
Sign of the Gypsy Queen, Just Between You and Me.
There were so many fantastic songs from April Wine and you don't even hear them on the radio anymore.
But yeah, they were a band that should have been much bigger than what they were.
And I can't figure out why they didn't make it bigger because they had fantastic songs.
They were really good at their instruments.
The singer was great and I don't get it.
I mean, I don't know why they weren't bigger.
Was it their record company maybe didn't push them enough or support them enough?
I'm thinking that.
That's what I've always wondered.
Yeah, but the record company because the record companies were pushing other people.
Yeah, for certain people harder.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, like the famous stories like back in the day,
REO Speedwagon was huge and Pink Floyd hadn't really got any traction yet.
And that's because the record company that REO Speedwagon was with
was buying hookers and blow for all the DJs in the big markets.
You know, like they go to Chicago, they go to New York, they go to LA.
And they buy hookers and blow for these DJs to push their songs on their station.
And it's a known fact now that that's what they were doing to get big.
And then Pink Floyd got much bigger.
But it wasn't because it was a ground roots effort because people started listening to Pink Floyd.
And they started going, man, this stuff is much better, man.
And they started listening to it.
REO done very well and they're still a great band and they still play and they still have great songs.
But Pink Floyd became a much bigger band.
But later, because it wasn't pushed because they didn't have all that money behind them
and all the drugs and the hookers and all that.
Right.
Yeah.
So I thought that was pretty interesting.
There's a lot of books out that talk about that whole thing back then and how evil it was.
And then how the Motown artists got ripped off so bad.
Yeah.
You know, it was literally like they just tell people, you know what?
50 bucks and you can drive my fucking car around for like three weeks and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Because these people had nothing.
They had all this talent in the world, but they had no way to get it to the world except this evil bastard.
Of the record company that would take advantage of them.
Right.
So it was one of them like Barry Gordy maybe or something like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Barry Gordy was that one.
Yeah. So anyhow.
Well, anyhow, you know, someone dumped 500 pounds of uncooked pasta near a creek bed.
It has finally been solved.
Residents say now they know who dumped hundreds of pounds of pasta next to a stream and why he did it.
The spaghetti saga started in late April when a resident of Old Bridge, New Jersey noticed what looked like huge mounds of pasta on the ground in a wooded area where people have been dumping their old furniture and construction materials for years.
The residents of the town have figured out the dumpster and it was the dumper, not the dumpster, the dumper.
And it was a military veteran that was cleaning out his mother's house after she had passed.
Now they never explained how his mother obtained 500 pounds of pasta.
Wow.
Yeah. Yeah. So that right there would be my first question is, is who in the world did their mother collect 500 pounds of pasta and why?
Why would you have that much in your house?
Can you say whorelou?
I guess.
Can you fit 500 pounds of pasta in a house?
That's a lot of pasta, man.
Yeah. I mean it was mounds and mounds. I saw the picture of it. It was mounds and mounds of it. Mounds. Huge mounds of it.
And how did he do it? He did it all by hand? Did he rent a dump truck maybe?
Imagine if it rained and that stuff swelled.
It did.
Oh, did it?
It did. So maybe that's it. You know what? I'll bet you that's it. I'll bet you when he threw it away, it was small sized pasta.
And then it rained a few times. It became full sized pasta. So it was three times the size.
And that's how everybody.
That's it. So probably just did it in grocery bags or not grocery bags, but trash bags.
And then when it went out there and piled up like a couple of good size, you know, decent sized piles, it rained three or four times.
The pasta got bigger and bigger and then it just was huge.
Yeah. That's how it happened. What happened?
Well, the town really likes this guy. You know, he was protesting the garbage pickup or lack of.
The town has kept the man's name out of the public because they don't want him to relive the trauma of his mother's death again.
So I think the guy, he is some sort of veteran. I think he had some trauma.
And I think that they really like the guy and they're protecting him.
The town simply says we have to do a better job with our garbage removal.
Why or how the man or his mom have 500 pounds of pasta is still unanswered.
And I don't think anyone really cares. They obviously really like the guy because they just, you know, they they kept his name out in public.
They didn't press charges. And so I find that very, you know, that's pretty interesting that he did that.
And number two, everyone's just sticking behind him going, well, you know what?
We don't want him to get in any trouble. We don't want anyone to know his name because he's traumatized.
So they're good people. I can tell you that. Yeah. Yeah.
So, and anyhow, let's see, do you have any more things that you want to get to? Any thoughts, anything or?
Well, in 1963, the Bronx Zoo had an exhibit.
And I'm guessing it was just one of those one year exhibits.
You know, it was called the most dangerous animal in the world.
What is it? It was a mirror. They knew this in 1963. Oh, my God.
That's good. I like that. Yeah. The main most dangerous animal in the world.
Who can argue? Yeah. And look at today. I say they're on to something. Yeah. Yeah.
For a long time, they've seen it coming. That's a pretty good fact. How the hell did you find that?
Facebook. Oh, Facebook. OK. Well, good enough. All right. Well, I get a lot of my stuff.
I get them from this little news section on a local news where they do little a little entertainment tidbit section.
And like they come out with some stuff like the Heinz dispenser. I got it from them. Channel four did it.
And I was just like, oh, my God. You know, the freestyle coke machine, like I said, that thing.
I was at Mockin's Nissan in Colombia. Yeah. Yeah. OK.
About nine and a half from me. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably about two hours from me.
And a guy kept calling me up. I went to the Nissan website looking for I was looking for a Nissan car at the time.
But I since got my Jeep and I've loved Jeeps my whole life anyhow.
So anyhow, I bought this car from there. And so the guy kept calling me up from from Colombia
because I didn't know when I went to the website looking at their cars that it turns your name and number into everybody.
And then they call you solicit selling a car. So this guy kept calling me up and I finally call him back.
And I go, dude, I go, you know, I said, I'm two hours away. You know, I you we can't do business.
He goes, no, he goes, you tell me what car you want.
I'll give you the best price for it better than anyone in the city.
And I guarantee it lower than anyone in the city by substantially lower.
And we'll drive the car to you. So I'm like, OK.
So anyhow, I decide I'm going to go ahead and just get the car. I'm going to have my brother follow me in my car.
And I'm just going to go ahead and get the car.
So anyhow, I get there and anyhow, I call up ahead of time.
I say, I'm going to buy this car, but I demand one thing.
And I forgot to include this in my story the other day.
He goes, what's that? A case of White Castle's. What?
A case a case of White Castle's have to be in the floorboard when I get there.
OK, all right. I said I want doubles with cheese. Case. OK.
So anyhow, I get there and the White Castle case, someone was going to get it because they wanted to be fresh.
They were really cool that, you know, they wanted to be still.
He said, someone's getting it right now. So when you jump in your car, they will be in the floorboard, like you said.
But he said, but in the meantime, he said, I got something to show you.
And he showed me this luxury showroom and it had recliner vibrating chairs and movies and big screens.
I'm like, wow. He goes, just hang out in there while we get your car detailed and get all the registration.
And then, you know, we'll have you come out and sign a few papers and go back in there.
And then we'll tell you that your car is running out front and hear the you know, and go get it.
And here's the extra set of keys. OK, cool.
So I go into saying and he goes, man, he goes, look at this machine.
He goes, it's one of 20 in America. And I'm like, what?
And it's a freestyle coke machine.
And I was low carbon at the time, so I could I should have just said, you know what?
Fuck low carbon today. I'm going to like mix a coke with like some fucking orange juice and some some spearmint and all this shit, you know, or whatever they have.
And just go crazy. And if I don't like it, I'll get you. Yeah.
But like a real one, like with 500 different ingredients, you know.
And anyhow, I was low carbon. So I couldn't get the full effect.
But man, I, you know, so I was like, this machine is fucking radical. It's so cool.
So anyhow, when I saw the Heinz suspensions, the same idea, you know, they, you know, they have like a smoky Chipotle.
They have Heinz 57. They have Heinz ketchup.
You know, they have all the base stuff and then you can add all these different things to it.
Jalapeno, wasabi, you know, sweet stuff.
And I was like, man, that's like a freestyle ketchup machine.
And I was like, that thing is fucking radical, too. So, yeah.
So anyhow, yeah, well, anyhow, channel four first put that up there and I was like, my God.
So then I started doing some investigating and I was like, man, that's a machine I have to have.
So anyhow, I mean, for at least use, not have, but use.
I think what's going to happen is they're going to lease them to probably want a certain fast food chain.
And they're going to be specific to that. Someone's going to like pay Heinz a lot of money to say they only go in Burger King's.
They only go in White Castle's. They only go in McDonald's or something like that.
Because that's a hell of a gimmick. People go in there. Yeah, we can mix our own ketchup up.
Well, I read just the other day they're shutting down a bunch of Burger King's.
They are. Yeah, a lot of stores. And I can tell you why.
McDonald's love it or hate it. You know what you're getting when you get there. Right.
White Castle love it or hate it. You know what you're getting when you get there. McDonald's same way.
Yeah. Burger King. You don't know what you're getting there.
They are not consistent. They don't have ever have very good help.
And half the time, like the grease that they use tastes like it's old.
I mean, I can't go there anymore because every time I go there, I get a stomach ache.
And I'm sorry I ever went there. So I can't go there anymore because they don't control their quality enough
to ensure that it's going to you know what you're going to get when you go there.
Now, back in the day, they were in the line for one of the best fast food burgers around.
Oh, back in the day, they were fantastic. Yeah, they were.
But over the years, quality just went downhill.
Yeah. But I think that's in every restaurant.
It is. McDonald's isn't that good either. But at least you know about what you're getting there.
You know, one that went to hell was Hardee's.
Yeah, yeah. They shut down the Hardee's down here too.
Yeah, they're just not that good. Anyhow, the ones that could control their quality enough stayed around.
The ones that couldn't, they're gone. Right.
Or at least come up with a consistently bad burger. At least you know what you're going to get when you get there.
Exactly. Yeah, so anyhow.
If someone intimidates you, just imagine them on a table being wiped like a baby.
Oh, but it's for wipey.
Hey, where did everybody go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez.
Ugh, I'm glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man, that smells.