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Live from the city market, it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.

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This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

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People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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1.

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Smell.

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Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and

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old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

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2.

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Look for the spot absent of patrons.

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3.

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The most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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4.

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Just call us at 816-512-7717.

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Two Douchebags and a Microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite

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podcast.

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Alright, hi everybody.

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This is Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

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This is Sam's Tofur, Tofur got kidnapped by the Contemporary Mid-America Kale Eating Association

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Society.

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They are keeping him in a dungeon and making him watch kale movies and we have to find

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him.

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I mean, this is very serious.

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It's horrible what Tofur is going through.

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They stole him and we want him back.

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It's hashtag where's Tofur.

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That's what we're doing.

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We need your prayers.

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We need Tofur back.

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We need him away from the kale evil doers.

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So we have Radrob instead.

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Hi Radrob.

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Hey Mark, how are you?

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Oh, I'm doing fantastic except for Tofur being kidnapped by the kale people.

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I know, that's bad news.

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Yeah it is.

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I mean, I hope it will transfer him.

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You think he'll come back and he'll start getting mad at us when we make fun of kale?

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If you need me for the manhunt, just let me know.

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You know what?

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Yeah, we're going to go find some of these kale people and that's it man.

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We're going to fucking take care of him man.

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We want our Tofur back.

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Yeah, we got to do something.

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It's time.

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Yeah, hashtag where's Tofur.

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We got to get our awareness out.

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Yes, we do.

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So hey, I got a neat little story here I found on the internet yesterday, Rob.

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Yeah.

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You know, a man shot another man, his roommate, for eating the last hot pocket.

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Oh really?

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Oh yeah, isn't that great?

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I love it.

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Yeah.

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I didn't see the picture but I would guess, look, I'm white, Robbie's white.

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White trash, wouldn't you say?

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Oh definitely.

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White trash shoots each other over a hot pocket.

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Oh, I'm surprised it didn't say Lake of the Ozarks on that.

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Yeah, yeah, you know what?

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It is fun down there though.

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The mullets down there are fucking inspiring.

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Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, you got a little bit of everybody down here.

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Oh, I know.

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The culture is just...

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I've seen, I saw a zebra stripe mullet down there, a guy in a fucking Speedo.

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The first time I've ever seen anyone eating out of a trash can was Noel, Missouri.

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I know that's not Lake of the Ozarks, it's Southern Missouri.

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But you know, up here there's people, you know, lying about being homeless to get money,

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right?

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Right, right.

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Well, they do that down here too.

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Oh, okay.

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Well, this guy, he looked around, he didn't see me over there parked.

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And he walked, he looked around, jumped in the dumpster, grabbed a thing of chicken that

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was half eaten and started eating it.

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Then he saw me and he grabbed the last like little drumstick and ran off in the woods.

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And I was like, fuck, that guy really is homeless.

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That guy really is hungry.

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I mean, I wish he would have asked me for some food and money.

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I had food and money I would have gave him.

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I mean, I felt so bad for him, you know, the guy would just, he had nothing you could tell.

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So yeah, so anyhow, that was very interesting.

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And also, have you got to the podcast about Testicle Fest yet?

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Yes, I did.

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Yeah, we need to go to that.

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We need to meet up in Testicle Fest in Bentonville, Arkansas, home of Walmart, by the way.

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It is.

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Actually, I used to work on that Aldi's.

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Oh, really?

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You lived down there?

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Yeah.

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No, no, no.

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I was actually living in St. Joe and my buddy lived down in Raymore.

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He got a contract to Aldi's for, it was over three years.

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Me and him went around to 42 different stores and did maintenance.

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Oh, okay.

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Did a lot of facelifts and the new bagging counters and the new sign molding hanging

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on the walls and hanging off the ceiling.

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A friend of mine does that.

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He does them for Starbucks and let's see, where else?

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Whole Foods and a couple other places.

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He's always busy and he makes a ton of money doing it.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah.

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We were doing that during 9-11.

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I actually drove by the airport that day.

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Oh, wow.

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I was coming down from St. Joe and we were meeting up on, I want to say on Rowe.

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It was up on the north end.

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Oh, okay.

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I had to drive.

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I came right down 435 past the airport.

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Was it like a ghost town?

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Yeah, it was about 29.

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Oh, no, I watched all the planes up in the sky circling because they weren't allowing

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them to land.

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Oh, that's right.

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I forgot about that.

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Yeah.

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That was like still in the morning, wasn't it?

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Yeah.

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Right before I walked out the door, I was watching, I believe it was Good Morning America

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and as I went to the kitchen, grabbed my lunch box and I said goodbye to the wife as

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I'm passing on TV and that's when it all started happening.

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Wow.

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I just stopped.

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I just stopped in my tracks.

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I was at work and a guy told me, one of my best friends, Dave, he comes up to me and

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he goes, hey, he goes, a plane.

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No one knew anything by that time.

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He said a plane hit a skyscraper in New York and anyhow, the building's on fire and there's

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people jumping out on fire and shit.

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It's crazy.

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Then I ran up to the safety room, which was upstairs where I was working and just as I

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get there, they're showing the first plane.

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All of a sudden, they clipped to a live feed and it showed the second plane.

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I'm like, oh, fuck.

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This is terrorism.

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This is not an accident.

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Yeah.

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Then we find out everything else that went on.

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Yeah.

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That was insane.

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Yeah.

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There's so many conspiracy theories about that too.

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You know, I mean, I listened to all of them and the problem is how are we ever going to

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really find out?

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We're not.

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There's something interesting that I did find out though.

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I was listening to a radio show and did you know that as of last year, they declassified

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JFK murder and they said that the CIA was involved, definitely.

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I've been catching up on a lot of your old podcasts.

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Yeah.

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Common knowledge.

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I've been listening and I'm finding out a lot more.

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I'll tell you what, in my preparation to do this show tonight, I knew there was one show

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that I had to go back and listen to and I did that today, Mark.

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What was it?

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You have got to get deep sky back on this.

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Yeah I know.

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That dude is amazing.

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We can't find him.

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I think he went back to California.

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I texted him and he never did respond and he got freaked out because we wanted to take

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his picture for the podcast.

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Yeah, I heard that.

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Yeah, then after that, he was completely different.

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So I don't know what he was into or nothing but after, I'm like, hey man, can we take

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a picture for the podcast?

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He goes, um, no, I really don't want that.

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And then after that, he excused himself.

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I actually got to hear that.

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I have three hours of it on a computer that I cannot get started.

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It locked up on me.

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I know.

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I need to find a way to get that hard drive and harness that three hours of deep sky that

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we got because there was some brilliant shit on there.

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He's talking about stuff that I've known about for years about how advertisers use subliminal

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hypnotism to advertise to you.

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It's like flashes, sequence of flashes of light and numbers and numerology and the occult.

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There's all this stuff that's involved that they've been doing for years to sell to people

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and it's really, really, uh, um, uh, what would you call it?

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Um, uh, dark, um, nefarious.

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Um, I mean, it was really interesting cause I started off with a good friend of mine that

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was telling me about this and I was just going, yeah, you know what?

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Yeah, it could happen.

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But then I started examining it and reading it and seeing some of the videos out and they're

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showing how they piece it together and the stuff that they put together.

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I'm like, man, you know what?

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That is, that's real.

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It's actually fitting.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So yeah, I'd love to get deep sky back on and deep sky.

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If you even listen, which you probably don't please, please come by the city market, come

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by and talk.

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You have our number.

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I mean, I still have yours.

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I called it enough times.

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Um, you know, I don't think you have the same number.

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I think you would have responded, but man, we want you on so bad, dude.

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I mean, that guy was gold.

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I want you here.

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Yes.

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We need to hear more of you.

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Yeah.

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That guy is excellent.

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And like, like you said, Mark, you and Topher always say any of the guests, anything you

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guys say, it's our opinions.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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We do research on some of it.

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A lot of it is all opinions.

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Yeah.

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A lot of it's parody.

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We do a lot of parody on your, you know, like clown nose or fucking, you know, calling

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us whatever, uh, island of horrible jokes.

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Look, what, what me and Topher aim to do was the morning show of the past that we miss

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so much.

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And that is the, the free form hot talk, satirization of adult male, just, yeah, farts, dicks, whatever,

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you know, just stuff like that stuff that makes us laugh.

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We don't want anything.

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You know, we can go into serious subjects and we have, but we just want to do stuff

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to stupid shit.

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You know, I think the only one left and even he's not the same as Johnny Dare.

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You know, he'll still get raunchy and say some things, but, um, uh, Bubba the love sponge,

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he still does it.

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I mean, but none of these shows are like they were.

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It's like the corporations neuter them.

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And if they don't neuter them, then they're going to get neutered somehow or way by lawsuits

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or something.

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And a thing is, is, you know, like Bubba the love sponge is pretty much, I mean, he makes

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all his money from the internet now.

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He doesn't really make it from FM radio.

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There's no money.

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Nobody really does FM radio.

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So just like, just like Howard Stern.

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Yes.

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Howard Stern bolted to Sirius, but Stern Stern is horrible anymore, man.

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I can't stand to listen.

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I never have.

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Back before I like certain elements of his show because he had like Captain Janx would

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call in and prank these idiots and the idiots.

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I mean, the media Captain Janx was so good because he would bamboozle the media every

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fucking time.

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I mean like Princess Diana, you know, I remember he like called into a British news show and

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he's like, yeah.

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And he goes, um, yeah, I have it.

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You know, Diana was her last words was I want Howard Stern's private parts movie.

252
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,760
And then about that time, and then you hear the British guy go, or actually I think it

253
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,440
might have been like Peter Jennings or something.

254
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,840
He goes, what was that again?

255
00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:00,120
So you're saying that she wanted, she was racing to get Howard Stern's private parts

256
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,320
movie and that's what happened.

257
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,000
And he didn't get it yet.

258
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,680
And then finally you hear him go, what?

259
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,880
And then all of a sudden it clipped and cut out.

260
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:12,000
And he comes back goes, um, you know, obviously that was a fake phone call.

261
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,560
She was not on her way to get that guy's movie.

262
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,120
And, and he done this to everybody.

263
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:23,600
I mean any, you know, like a planes fucking crash in train crash, he'd find a way to get

264
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,680
in and act like a guy that was on the spot.

265
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:31,520
You know, yeah, I was sitting there eating Doritos and I saw the passenger, you know,

266
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:38,880
um, watching Howard Stern's private parts, you know, he would always insert Howard Stern

267
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,120
or private parts or something like that in the whole thing.

268
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,480
And half the time people would not get it because they're so busy thinking of what they're

269
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,640
going to say next that they go, okay, thank you.

270
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,040
Yeah, boy, that's a good piece of information.

271
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,120
And they never did analyze information.

272
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:59,120
They just heard, you know, they're trying to keep it cool and keep going and it's live

273
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120
radio.

274
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,600
So they're already lost.

275
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:09,720
So anyhow, so, but that, that radio is what we miss and look, we're never going to get

276
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,720
it as good as they did.

277
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,880
We don't have the budget.

278
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,000
We don't have the voice guys and we probably don't have the talent.

279
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,080
But you know, I mean, we're doing something, we're doing our own version of it and the

280
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,440
people like it, like it and the people that don't, that's fine.

281
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,000
You know, we're not, oh, good.

282
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000
Thank you.

283
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,900
We're not out to, you know, make a living even or really any money at all.

284
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,160
We enjoy this.

285
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,240
This is what we love to do.

286
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,720
And, uh, and it's pretty neat going down the road and listen to yourself on your own show.

287
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,720
Yeah.

288
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,040
And we're at that age.

289
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,720
We need to, we need to do something.

290
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,360
That we love that we enjoy at our age.

291
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,360
You know, we need, we need a hobby.

292
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,360
Yeah.

293
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,160
You know, I mean the radio has been my best friend ever since I was a little kid.

294
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,160
You know what?

295
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,560
I'd be sitting out in the backyard with nothing to do and I'd be listening to Royals game

296
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,560
on AM radio.

297
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,720
There'd be a thunderstorm off in the distance.

298
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,080
I can hear the crackle of AM radio.

299
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:13,120
And then after that, I turn it to WHB seven 10 at the time and listen to Johnny Dolan

300
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,560
and, um, and people like that.

301
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:20,520
And I mean, it's just magical when I was growing up and listen to these voice guys.

302
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:24,720
And I remember, um, the first time I realized you could be anything you wanted to on radio

303
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,200
was, um, I met, I saw Dick Wilson.

304
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:34,000
Uh, he was at a car show and he has this big booming voice, Dick and Jay, and he's like,

305
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Hey, let's stick.

306
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,760
Wilson and I'm K one Oh two.

307
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,760
Yeah.

308
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:38,760
And I see him.

309
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,520
He's a short ball guy.

310
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,120
Nothing wrong with that, but he looked nothing like he's sound.

311
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,320
I expect this six foot four tall chiseled handsome guy.

312
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,720
I'm like, what?

313
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,720
That's Dick Wilson.

314
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:50,720
What?

315
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:51,720
No way.

316
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:57,320
And then after that, I mean, I still loved him, but I just always knew he didn't look

317
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,320
like he sounded.

318
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,320
Right.

319
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,440
He had a voice for radio or he had a face for radio.

320
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,120
That's always depression when you find that out.

321
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,120
Yeah.

322
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,120
Yeah.

323
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,120
But he was really cool though.

324
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,620
I went by and said, Hey man.

325
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:15,120
He wasn't even with, even with Dick and Jay at the time he moved on.

326
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,920
I forgot where he went afterwards, like KCMO maybe or something.

327
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:23,080
He's doing the radio show, the morning show there and a different form of it, not with

328
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:29,640
Jay, but I remember seeing him, uh, you know, and, uh, and, uh, you know, I said, Hey, how

329
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,640
you doing?

330
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,440
And he was like really polite, really nice.

331
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,040
And, you know, and actually talked to me for a little bit.

332
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,880
So he's a really good guy.

333
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,400
He just does not look like he sounds.

334
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,960
So anyhow, um, Oh, you know what?

335
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,560
Hey, I was in the middle of a story.

336
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:49,320
So like me and Topher always have done, this thing gets out of hand and we start talking

337
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,680
about everything else except what we're supposed to.

338
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,680
I told you I was prepared for that because I know me and you.

339
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,680
Oh yeah.

340
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,680
I knew it too.

341
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:03,800
Like I said, I just hope Topher ain't too mad at us when he comes back.

342
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,800
Yeah, no, no, no.

343
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,800
He'll be fine.

344
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,800
You know what?

345
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:13,120
I'm keeping the show going and, uh, and, uh, that's all I'm doing is just keeping the show

346
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,120
going.

347
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:18,400
It's very much me and Topher show and it's never going to leave that.

348
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,400
Yeah.

349
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,400
Yeah.

350
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,560
I'm keeping the show going and I was doing a little bit of a solo cast there for a while

351
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,640
mixed in with old stuff, but there's only so much of that you can do.

352
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:32,120
And the thing about, the thing about doing a show on your own is you gotta come up with

353
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:37,360
twice, if not three times of the material because it's just you, you know, you can't

354
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:42,440
sit there and play the other guy and go, Hey, yeah, but it wasn't stuck to his ass.

355
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,160
I don't know, man.

356
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:48,880
You know, you don't, you don't have that other guy chime it in and taking away, you know,

357
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,680
taking away some minutes from you.

358
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,920
So you can only go into a subject so much and then you got to give it up and go to something

359
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,920
else.

360
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,920
Yeah, you do.

361
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:57,920
Yeah.

362
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:58,920
Yeah.

363
00:17:58,920 --> 00:17:59,920
You can't analyze it as deep.

364
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,360
You don't have that other person like, you know, hearing what you're saying and then

365
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,560
going, Oh, I don't know, man.

366
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,560
I hear what you're saying.

367
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,080
You know, that opposing.

368
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,080
So yeah.

369
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,080
Yeah.

370
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,680
So anyhow, okay.

371
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,240
So a man shoots his roommate over eating the last hot pocket.

372
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:22,880
A man in Kentucky, imagine that Kentucky, can you believe that was arrested after allegedly

373
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,240
shooting his roommate in the buttocks.

374
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,780
That's even better.

375
00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:33,640
He shot him in the butt after eating the last hot pocket, according to police.

376
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,080
I'm telling you, Ozarks are all over it.

377
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,600
Well, I mean, you know, the boot hills right next to Kentucky, right?

378
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,600
Right.

379
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:45,560
I think one escaped over.

380
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:51,080
I think one of the, I think one of the Ozarkians fucking skipped over the border, just jumped

381
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,280
over the Mississippi and got into Kentucky.

382
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,280
Oh yeah.

383
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,280
There's a bridge.

384
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,280
Yeah, there's a bridge.

385
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,280
You're right.

386
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,280
Clifton, Clifton Williams, 64.

387
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,280
He is 64 years old and he did this.

388
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:08,800
Was arrested and charged with second degree felony assault after police say he and his

389
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:14,920
roommate got into an argument over the frozen food item on Saturday night.

390
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:19,840
As detailed in a citation from Louisville Metro, Metro Police Department, the victim

391
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,720
claims William got mad.

392
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:29,240
He ate the last hot pocket, at which point Williams began throwing tiles at his roommate.

393
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,240
Tiles.

394
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:38,320
You imagine fucking ceramic, I imagine they're ceramic tiles cause I don't think anything

395
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,840
else would throw very well, would it?

396
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,280
No, probably not.

397
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,400
That's even better.

398
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,320
So he probably knocked the piss out of him with ceramic tiles.

399
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,480
You imagine getting hit with one of those heavy bastards.

400
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,480
Oh man.

401
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,480
That fucking.

402
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:54,480
That'd knock you out.

403
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,480
Yeah, that'd leave a fucking scar.

404
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,040
It would, it would.

405
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,040
Okay.

406
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,120
So anyhow, he began throwing tiles at him.

407
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,560
The roommate attempted to fight back, but decided to leave instead.

408
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,800
And when Williams went inside and grabbed a shotgun, the roommate was able to run away

409
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:19,040
for help after he was shot in the buttocks with a shotgun by his roommate after getting

410
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:23,360
pelted with tiles.

411
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,280
That guy really loves hot pockets.

412
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,280
Oh yeah, he does.

413
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,280
He does.

414
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,280
Man, yeah.

415
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:37,280
You know, the best stories around, you can't write.

416
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,080
The best stories are truth, not fiction.

417
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,800
Yes, yes.

418
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800
Yeah.

419
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,800
They are.

420
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,920
There's just some stories you just cannot make up.

421
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,320
Well here's another one from Marion, Illinois.

422
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:57,680
A Southern Illinois man has been charged with theft for allegedly stealing a backhoe to

423
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:06,000
drive about 10 miles to an airport to catch a flight, authorities said.

424
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:14,880
He stole a backhoe to get to the airport 10 miles away.

425
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:19,240
Security camera footage shows a carboneal man arriving at Veterans Airport of Southern

426
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,200
Illinois and I actually been to that airport before.

427
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:34,640
It's very small and I could only imagine a backhoe going through there.

428
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,640
So anyhow.

429
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:40,040
I imagine he had to steal it the night before to get there.

430
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,200
Yeah, I guess.

431
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,200
That's what I think.

432
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,440
They don't move that fast.

433
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:48,080
The parking lot's really small, the airport's really small.

434
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,560
There isn't very many airlines there.

435
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:58,080
I think it's like Delta, United, and maybe American and maybe Alaskan or something.

436
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,080
It's not very many airlines.

437
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,840
It's like four or five airlines and that's it.

438
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,280
And it's probably just four, it's probably not five.

439
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,360
And it's just a really small airport.

440
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:12,300
So driving a backhoe there in the lot would, you know, well I don't know, maybe people

441
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,520
thought he was getting ready to do work on the parking lot.

442
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,520
I don't know.

443
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,720
Probably, probably.

444
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:21,240
City camera footage shows a Carbondale man arriving at Veterans Airport in Southern Illinois

445
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:27,200
atop a backhoe and leaving it at the airport parking lot Thursday.

446
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:32,880
The Williamson County Sheriff's Office said, so he just drove it up and left it.

447
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,840
Footage captured the man walking across the street from the lot to the airport carrying

448
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,920
a guitar case, the Sheriff's Office said.

449
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,800
So he's carrying a guitar case.

450
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,800
Guitar case, okay, this guy was crackers and crams.

451
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,800
Don't you think?

452
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:49,800
Yeah, yeah.

453
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:54,240
I mean, stealing backhoe to get there, yeah, yeah, funny.

454
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,240
Yeah.

455
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:59,440
But doing it with a guitar, yeah, he's nuts.

456
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,120
A guitar case.

457
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:08,640
The owner of the backhoe arrived at the airport a short time later and identified the equipment

458
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,720
belonging to the company he owned.

459
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:16,720
The man was arrested and is unknown if he bailed himself out or not.

460
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:25,800
Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, I mean, when you say that, that's just another, I would say that

461
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,080
that is probably.

462
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,000
I would say there was some hardcore drugs involved.

463
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,520
Yeah, I'm wondering that too.

464
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:37,480
I mean, I don't think you just.

465
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:42,880
Crackers and crams is one thing, but hardcore drugs is another.

466
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,880
Stealing a backhoe to me would indicate hard drugs, not crackers and crams.

467
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,880
Right, right.

468
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,760
You know, crackers and crams, you'd think he'd be like drooling on himself in the corner

469
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:57,960
or screaming at a wall like Miss Goldfenstein down there at the at the City Market.

470
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,480
Yeah, I hear her from time to time.

471
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,680
She is really mad at one wall.

472
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,000
She hates that wall.

473
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,920
I don't know what that wall done to her, but man, I'll tell you what.

474
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,600
One of these days she's going to knife that wall.

475
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:16,480
If I was that wall, if I was that wall, I would be I would be filing restraining orders

476
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,480
against her.

477
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,480
It may have to.

478
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,720
Yeah, yeah.

479
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,760
She's furious at that wall and she won't give it up.

480
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,880
Man, is she not loud on the podcast when she walks by?

481
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,880
Yeah.

482
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:29,880
Oh, my God.

483
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:34,080
She drowns me and Topher out and we're right next to the microphone.

484
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,080
I bet, I bet.

485
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,080
Yeah.

486
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,080
Yeah, it's squelching and everything else.

487
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,080
Yeah.

488
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,080
Yeah.

489
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:48,680
So anyhow, earlier, you know, we're talking about Harry, you know.

490
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,680
Yeah, we were.

491
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:51,680
Yeah.

492
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,920
Oh, Harry.

493
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,200
I don't know if we want to say his last name or not.

494
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,200
I don't know exactly.

495
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,200
Oh, no.

496
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,200
Yeah.

497
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,200
Circumstances.

498
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,200
Let's just leave the last name out.

499
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,200
Yeah.

500
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,920
But man, God rest his soul.

501
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,480
Out of respect.

502
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,840
We love the hell out of him.

503
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,160
He's no longer with us.

504
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,160
We did.

505
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:17,240
But Harry was certifiably insane when he showed up to school where I went to school at in

506
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,120
a junior high there.

507
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:23,960
He had his in he had his papers from the insane asylum and he went around and showed everybody,

508
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,680
hey, look, man, I just got out of the asylum.

509
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:32,200
Nobody really knew him because he just, you know, he just he just moved out school district

510
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:37,320
and he just got out of the the booby hatch and showed up.

511
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,280
And and Harry was the most off the wall, nutty person.

512
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,120
He would make he would make people like me and Davey look tame.

513
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,720
Yeah, he would.

514
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,560
He would do the most off the wall shit just for no reason.

515
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:58,360
So anyhow, I got a couple of stories here about good old Harry.

516
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:05,720
So I met Harry when you drug him into just yes.

517
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,720
Yes.

518
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,040
We went to work with it.

519
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,040
Yes.

520
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:14,720
And then we then we got to hanging out afterward.

521
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:15,720
You know.

522
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,720
Yeah.

523
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:22,480
I remember whenever a boss would get mad at him and he would sit there and look him in

524
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:27,920
the eyes real gentle and he go, you know, your eyes light up whenever you're angry.

525
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:34,800
They're very intense and beautiful.

526
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:35,800
That was one of them.

527
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,800
Yeah.

528
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:37,800
And they get flustered.

529
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,920
They'd be like, and then go and clean that up and go.

530
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,040
You're just your eyes are just so beautiful.

531
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:50,080
And you can you keep screaming at me?

532
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,080
No one would know it.

533
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,880
No one would quite know what to do with Harry because he was so off the wall.

534
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:55,880
You didn't know what he did.

535
00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:00,880
I mean, you did not what remember we were we were having a party down at Blue Ridge

536
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:01,880
Inn.

537
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:02,880
I don't know if you're there that night.

538
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,640
We went to White Castle to go get our White Castle.

539
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,640
Yeah.

540
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,520
And run around naked and you know, until we got caught.

541
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,400
Well, almost got caught that one night.

542
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,400
Yeah.

543
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,160
I had to hide in a doghouse.

544
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,440
I had to hide in a doghouse for about six hours.

545
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:23,120
And anyhow, I'll get to that story one these days.

546
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:29,560
Anyhow, Harry jumped off the side of the bridge on 71 Highway there.

547
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,560
Right.

548
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,560
OK.

549
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:32,560
The Blue Ridge.

550
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,800
And it looked like he looked like he jumped in the middle of the highway.

551
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:41,840
But what we didn't realize the the bridge was so wide, there was like embankment and

552
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,960
grass below there that you could jump on and not really hurt yourself.

553
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,600
But it was really close to the edge of the highway.

554
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,960
So he'd jump off there and go, that's it, I'm done.

555
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,360
I'm leaving.

556
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:57,360
And he jumped off of it.

557
00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:01,040
And everyone was like, oh, we run over there and he's down there sitting there looking

558
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,720
up at us going, ha ha ha.

559
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,720
And anyhow, you had to been there, though, because it looks so realistic because it looked

560
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,360
like he's right in the middle of the freeway.

561
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:13,040
It looked like where he jumped.

562
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,680
And look like something out of a movie.

563
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,680
Yeah.

564
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:17,680
Yeah.

565
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:18,680
It was crazy.

566
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,960
He didn't like that or I mean, I mean, I can't even count all the shit he did.

567
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,840
But anyhow, this one was really fun.

568
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,860
I call it fun with break rooms.

569
00:28:28,860 --> 00:28:34,520
So Harry was a fantastic friend of mine and Rob's in my sweet youth.

570
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,560
Sadly is no longer with us.

571
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:41,840
Harry was one one guy that could out crazy me, like we said, if he wanted to.

572
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,560
But you know, sometimes Harry didn't feel like it.

573
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,000
And you go, you know, Harry's insane.

574
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,680
You just be like, calm, hey, what's up?

575
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,720
He had his moves.

576
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:52,720
Yes, he did.

577
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,760
And whatever he wasn't insane, we doubt how insane he was.

578
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,160
And he make us look like idiots.

579
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,160
Yeah.

580
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,160
Yeah.

581
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,280
I mean, it's bad when you can make Davey look bad.

582
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,280
Yeah.

583
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,280
Yeah.

584
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,440
Harry was the one guy that could out crazy me.

585
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,880
So him and I, Harry and I were going to get some night train.

586
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:11,880
Remember that stuff?

587
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:12,880
Oh, yeah.

588
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:13,880
Yeah.

589
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:20,560
The the horrible cheap rock up wine that's literally it was a buck twenty five a bottle.

590
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,560
Right.

591
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,280
And we didn't even drink it because it's cheap.

592
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,200
We drank it because the bottle looked horrible.

593
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:34,520
It had like a train fucking derailing and fucking blood everywhere.

594
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,400
And it was green.

595
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:42,320
We would be fucking gulping this shit down and they would just people be going, oh my

596
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,640
God, and we were like touted as the best stuff ever.

597
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:46,920
This stuff is delicious.

598
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:52,480
And anyhow, people drink it and like try to throw the bottle at us and shit.

599
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:53,480
Yeah.

600
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,480
You ever have a drink?

601
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:55,480
It's awesome.

602
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:56,480
Like, you don't like this.

603
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,480
You're insane.

604
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:02,000
This stuff was so it was so this stuff was so horrible that Guns N' Roses wrote a song

605
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
about it.

606
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Yeah.

607
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Yeah, they did.

608
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,000
Yeah.

609
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,600
So half the way to liquor aisle, Harry grabs my shirt and says, come on.

610
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,600
I'm like, huh, what?

611
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,600
What the fuck?

612
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,640
So he takes me to the back break room and this is a price chopper and we sit down with

613
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:22,600
the employees and they're all just sitting there like watching TV and talking to each

614
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:23,600
other.

615
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,600
Right.

616
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:25,600
Some of them have a snack.

617
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,320
Some have a full blown meal because it's their lunch break and stuff.

618
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,680
And Harry stands up and says to the break room, he goes, good day, everyone.

619
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,680
I'm Gilbert from corporate.

620
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,920
This is our new employee, Mark.

621
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:40,280
He will be taking over our GM duties starting next month.

622
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,960
And I get a round of applause for Mark.

623
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,640
Everyone applauded me and I'm just sitting there.

624
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:47,640
I'm liking it.

625
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,760
I'm liking a fucking Aussie shirt or something.

626
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:52,760
And I have.

627
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,760
Yeah.

628
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:54,760
Yeah.

629
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:55,760
And long hair.

630
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,760
And they're all clapping.

631
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,760
Hey, welcome, Mark.

632
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760
Welcome.

633
00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,840
You're going to like this store.

634
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:00,840
We're so friendly.

635
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:01,840
And I'm like astounded.

636
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:02,840
I'm like, huh?

637
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:03,840
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

638
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,840
Yes.

639
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:05,840
Yes.

640
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,080
I can't wait to work with you people.

641
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:12,200
Not just saying shit like that, going, yeah, we're going to make this store the best, aren't

642
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,200
we?

643
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:17,760
And Harry's up there bragging on me and just talking all this shit.

644
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:18,760
Yeah.

645
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,960
And then we're going to come up with a new raise system.

646
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,000
We're going to figure out how to fairly compensate you guys.

647
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,920
And we have a lot of exciting things going on.

648
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:32,000
Like we've got a car program going on and all this shit to help you folks buy a car.

649
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,000
Yeah.

650
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,480
And they're all excited.

651
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:35,480
So I'm sitting there mortified.

652
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,560
I was actually speechless at first.

653
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,880
Everyone applauded me because they thought I was their new boss.

654
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,120
So they were kissing ass.

655
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,800
We were in t-shirts and jeans.

656
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:54,960
But the people didn't seem to notice that because when we walked in, Harry was so convinced

657
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,880
and forceful about it that no one questioned it.

658
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,600
So Harry walks around and gets everyone's name and tells them there's a gift card up

659
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:08,920
front for them at the end of their shift.

660
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,720
So Harry gets up and excuses us.

661
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,680
And I quickly get in front of him because I'm certain they're going to catch up with

662
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,920
us and like fucking hit us or something.

663
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:21,200
I was certain that someone was going to come in and go, we don't have a new GM.

664
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,240
Those guys are fucking lying.

665
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:29,160
We got our night train and we split laughing all the way fucking to Longview Lake.

666
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,720
We're going to Longview Lake to fucking slam the night train and fucking do stupid shit.

667
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,720
Harry down there laughing.

668
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,360
I can't believe it, man.

669
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,080
I said, you know what?

670
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,920
That's the belt and price chopper.

671
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:42,920
That's one to always go to.

672
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,200
I can't go there anymore.

673
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:52,100
So I had to start going to another store where the night train was higher because I was afraid

674
00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:54,360
to go in there because they're going to go, there's a guy.

675
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,360
That's the guy that lied to us.

676
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,120
He said it was our new GM.

677
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:02,120
So I couldn't go in there anymore.

678
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,600
So next up, this is, I don't know, a couple of weeks later.

679
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,440
So next up, Harry and I went to HQ.

680
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,440
Yeah.

681
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:10,440
You remember HQ?

682
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,440
Yeah.

683
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:12,440
Yeah.

684
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,440
Yeah.

685
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:14,440
Yeah.

686
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,440
Yeah.

687
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:16,440
They were the first home improvement company.

688
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,440
Yeah.

689
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:18,440
Yeah.

690
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,440
They were before.

691
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:20,440
Yup.

692
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,560
They were before Home Depot and Lowe's.

693
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:23,560
Yeah.

694
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,560
Yeah.

695
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,400
And they were also up there near Bannister Mall on the other side of the bridge.

696
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,400
Right.

697
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:30,400
Yeah.

698
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,400
Yeah, they were.

699
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,400
Yeah.

700
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,400
They had a few locations.

701
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,400
They had quite a few actually.

702
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,840
And then they bought Builder Square.

703
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:40,560
But when they bought Builder Square, they assumed so much debt that the whole company folded.

704
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,280
And then Home Depot came up and took a spot.

705
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:44,280
Yeah.

706
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,200
But we were in HQ.

707
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:52,640
And anyhow, so what we were doing is we were looking for plastic tubing to make dry ice

708
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,640
bombs.

709
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,520
So we're sitting there.

710
00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,840
I know we didn't look like plumbers.

711
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,920
And people are very suspicious why we wanted plastic tubing.

712
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,000
So anyhow, we're sitting there.

713
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,160
We need some plastic tubing.

714
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,000
We got to replace some pipe and stuff.

715
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,400
And they're asking us all these questions.

716
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,800
We don't know how to answer it because we're not plumbers.

717
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,400
No, no, no.

718
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,320
We just need the regular casing.

719
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:18,320
I don't know.

720
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:24,360
You're talking about millimeter casing and thickness and the transitions and all this

721
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,360
stuff.

722
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,840
Yeah.

723
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,760
We just need some straight pipe.

724
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,760
That's all.

725
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,920
Yeah, we're just going to...

726
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:38,880
It goes in the ground.

727
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,640
So Harry, once again, he grabs my shirt and he says, come on.

728
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,840
And he found the store break room in the back.

729
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:51,120
Only this time there was free food and cake because a manager was leaving.

730
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:55,320
So Harry says to them that him and I were hired on to do maintenance.

731
00:34:55,320 --> 00:35:00,640
We both got cake and burgers and hot dogs and told everybody that we would see them

732
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,800
the next day.

733
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,000
And anyhow, it was funnier than hell because no one questioned that either.

734
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,600
We're just like, yeah, we're scheduled to start tomorrow.

735
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,600
So we'll see you all.

736
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,600
We look forward to looking to you.

737
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:14,600
What's your name, Bill?

738
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:15,600
Okay.

739
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,600
Oh, Janet.

740
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:17,600
Okay.

741
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,600
Yeah.

742
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:19,600
Yeah.

743
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,600
Well, you'll see us here.

744
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:21,600
I think we started, what, eight?

745
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,640
Harry's going, yeah, I think the schedule said eight o'clock.

746
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,480
And some guys over there looking at the wall going, I'll see you on the schedule.

747
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,640
Oh, well, it's going to be on the new rewritten one.

748
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:29,640
We just got hired.

749
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,640
Oh, okay.

750
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,640
Okay.

751
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,760
So, so, so we almost got busted.

752
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:40,240
So yeah, little did we know there's a schedule sitting right behind us.

753
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:41,240
Yeah.

754
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,240
Yeah.

755
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:47,280
So, so anyhow, that was pretty fucking funny.

756
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,280
And Harry used to do that shit.

757
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,800
That was only a couple of examples.

758
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,200
He used to do that shit all the time.

759
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,200
Yeah.

760
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,200
Yeah.

761
00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:00,440
And, and he used to screw with Sam, the security guard with us at a, at a banister mall.

762
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:01,440
He used to screw.

763
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:02,440
Everybody screwed with Sam.

764
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,680
Oh, he used to jump up and kiss him in the lips.

765
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:06,680
Sam would get so mad.

766
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:07,680
Oh, I bet.

767
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,680
Oh, man.

768
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:09,680
Sam would get so fucking perturbed.

769
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:10,680
Oh, he gets so mad.

770
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:11,680
Here you go.

771
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:12,680
I love you.

772
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:17,680
I used to just run up behind him and goose him and keep running.

773
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,680
Yeah.

774
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:19,680
Oh, he just felt like a piss.

775
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:20,680
He couldn't catch it.

776
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:21,680
No, I don't.

777
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,680
He couldn't catch it.

778
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:25,680
Yeah.

779
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,440
He was awesome, man.

780
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,440
Yep.

781
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:34,400
I hope he knows in the afterlife how much fun we have talking about him.

782
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,400
Yes.

783
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,400
And his crazy shit.

784
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:47,360
Well, on one of your podcasts just recently, you started talking about how guys, more men

785
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,120
are age, are end in nostalgia.

786
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,120
Yes.

787
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:57,120
And that right there, my friend, is nostalgia, Sam.

788
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,120
Yes.

789
00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,120
Yeah.

790
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,120
The stuff that we look at.

791
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:07,040
The stuff that we remember that nobody else would know, you know.

792
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:13,600
This is, that's why I called it my sweet childhood is because it was so much fun.

793
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,200
It was so magical.

794
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,220
Every day was a new experience.

795
00:37:17,220 --> 00:37:20,320
We didn't have any type of duties at all, really.

796
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:25,240
All we really need to do is find a way to feed ourselves, brush our teeth, scrub our

797
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:30,120
asshole, try to make sure our clothes are clean, and then just go do whatever.

798
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:31,320
We go to work and everything.

799
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,320
We're responsible.

800
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:38,240
But, you know, it was, you know, we all had time to get our life together after that.

801
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:39,960
But we weren't the early birds on that.

802
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,840
We were the ones that were just having fun, just coasting through life for a while.

803
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,080
I didn't get hung up on, oh, I got to dedicate myself to this education.

804
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,960
I was like, you know what, I'll do that later.

805
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,880
Right now, I'm going to have some fucking fun.

806
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,920
I want better hands on anyway.

807
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,840
Oh, me too.

808
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,840
Me too.

809
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,880
That's why I was always, I was a trade school guy.

810
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,200
I was never a college guy.

811
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,200
I was always on the job training.

812
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:10,520
But I, you know, if I, if I do an old job, I made more than most of the people that I

813
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,120
knew that went to college.

814
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:19,080
The two people I know that made more money than anyone that we knew that went to college

815
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:26,080
was my friend Brian that we started the lawn business, you know, and he does very well

816
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,080
at it.

817
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,080
Oh yeah, Brian, Brian.

818
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560
Yeah, yeah, yep.

819
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,160
And he still does the lawn business and he's got a big tree business.

820
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,160
He does very well.

821
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,160
He did not go to college.

822
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,160
No, no he didn't.

823
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,160
Yeah.

824
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,240
And me, I didn't go to college.

825
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:45,040
And I used to make a pile of money at my old job, but I'm glad I'm no longer there for

826
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,880
a lot of reasons.

827
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,360
In my opinion, they're horrible people and I'm glad I'm out of there.

828
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:58,200
I mean, you know, and they were sent sold and there's a lot of people there that I still

829
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:03,000
care about that I worry about because they're going to do them the same way they did me

830
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000
in my opinion.

831
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,160
I think that I was done very dirty because I was older.

832
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:11,720
I got a new knee and a hurt shoulder and they thought they're going to find these young

833
00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:13,720
guys just come in and do it.

834
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:14,720
Guess what they did?

835
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,160
None of them worked out.

836
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,920
They still don't have anyone to do their dirty shit.

837
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:23,480
Meanwhile, I'm in another place doing fantastic.

838
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:28,520
Already supervising, already doing all these duties, all these duties that have been allotted

839
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:35,840
to me right off the bat, all the trust in doing so well and anyhow, you know, I'd thank

840
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,160
them if they meant it well, but they didn't.

841
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,280
They're only looking out.

842
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,080
They're only being greedy.

843
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:46,520
So I'm not going to thank them, but I'm going to thank God that I'm where I'm at.

844
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,640
But not them.

845
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:54,400
So, yeah, so those people can keep being greedy pieces of shit.

846
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:59,440
That that bald headed piece of shit boss that was behind it all, he's going to get what

847
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,160
he he gets.

848
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,160
Besides that, I know some stuff.

849
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,520
A lot of people know some stuff.

850
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,520
Isn't that right?

851
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:07,520
Isn't that right, buddy?

852
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:08,840
I hope you listen to this.

853
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,360
Yeah, anyhow.

854
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,200
So anyhow, enough of that.

855
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:17,640
So you said that you had some stuff you wanted to go into.

856
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:18,640
Oh, yeah.

857
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:24,320
Yeah, I got down a few things.

858
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:31,320
You were on some different.

859
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:42,160
In 2010, in Tokyo, Tokyo officials congratulate the oldest man in the city on his 11th birthday.

860
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:46,480
They instead found his skeletal remains in his bed.

861
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:52,040
He'd been dead for 30 years and they've been taking the pitch and.

862
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,040
Oh, my God.

863
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:58,040
Yeah, he'd been laying in the bed for 30 years.

864
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:03,920
I just I just found that funny.

865
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:09,000
Well, that Overland Park, Overland Park, Kansas, you know, pretty fairly wealthy, right?

866
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,120
Yeah, pretty affluent area.

867
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:16,720
OK, suburb of Kansas City, just a few miles from where I live, not very far.

868
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:22,260
Some people's grandfather, I believe, been dead for seven years, collected Social Security

869
00:41:22,260 --> 00:41:25,480
and they got a tip that he was in there dead.

870
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:29,280
They've been collecting Social Security for him for seven years and they had him like

871
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,800
in a closet or something.

872
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,600
Oh, I believe it.

873
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:34,600
How do you do that?

874
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,600
Don't don't they stink like hell?

875
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,960
Don't you always like, oh, my God, one of these days, someone's going to come in here

876
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:46,560
and like, grandpapa is going to like fall out of the closet and they're going to go,

877
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,440
oh, shit, you know.

878
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,440
I don't know.

879
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,440
Greed's a weird deal.

880
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:55,680
Neighbors would smell something.

881
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:56,680
Yeah.

882
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,680
There's neighbors.

883
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:58,680
Yeah.

884
00:41:58,680 --> 00:41:59,680
There's mailmen.

885
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,680
Yeah, yeah.

886
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:06,840
There's people, gas meter people, you know, all these people that have to get kind of

887
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:07,840
personal with your house.

888
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,840
And you mean to tell me that nobody could fucking.

889
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,840
Yeah, anyhow.

890
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,000
Well, but then again, you know what?

891
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,680
A lot of people probably don't get involved.

892
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:17,680
I get it.

893
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,080
You know, they think, man, then I'm going to have to go to court and I'm going to probably

894
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:26,800
be involved in this court case for three years so they stay out of it.

895
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,160
Yeah.

896
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:29,160
Yeah.

897
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:30,160
Wow.

898
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,160
That's crazy.

899
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,160
You got something else?

900
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:40,240
Oh, scientists did turn tequila into diamonds.

901
00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:41,420
Really?

902
00:42:41,420 --> 00:42:45,080
By heating it to 800 degrees Celsius.

903
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,080
No kidding.

904
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,080
Yeah.

905
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,240
800 degrees Celsius is, let me think.

906
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:53,080
Yeah, that's pretty damn hot.

907
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,440
Yeah, I think about 600 Fahrenheit.

908
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,440
600 degrees.

909
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,080
Yeah, somewhere around there.

910
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,760
Wow.

911
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:01,760
That's pretty cool.

912
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:09,560
Yeah, well, a clear liquid, you know, you heated it, it turned into a solid at one point.

913
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:10,560
Yeah.

914
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:18,680
Well, you know, the price of diamonds, well, diamonds aren't really, they're still valued,

915
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:23,160
but not as much as they were because there's people that make diamonds now that you can't

916
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:24,160
tell the difference.

917
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,200
The only reason you can tell that they're fake diamonds is because they're perfect.

918
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Right.

919
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,200
Yeah.

920
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,200
And that's the only thing that gives them ways.

921
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,680
Yeah, yeah.

922
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,680
But the ones they're making are too perfect.

923
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:43,160
And so that's the only way they can tell is they're actually better than the real diamonds.

924
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,600
Wow.

925
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,120
Yeah.

926
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:50,800
And they start mass producing them, the price of a diamond is going to just fucking fall,

927
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:51,800
I think.

928
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:52,800
Yeah, yeah.

929
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:53,800
Yeah.

930
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,880
Well, maybe that's totally been a problem.

931
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:57,880
Here's another thing too.

932
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:03,680
I was talking to Sean, my friend at work, and he's going to call me tomorrow, hopefully,

933
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:08,120
and hopefully we'll do a little podcast there too because he has some really interesting

934
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,120
subjects.

935
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,120
I think you'll like to listen to this.

936
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:14,000
Some of the subjects that he came up with is really good.

937
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,120
And the stuff that you're coming up with is really good.

938
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:23,720
And I think I'm going to have like a little rotation of different people and do this because

939
00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,560
I like bringing in other points of view.

940
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:29,960
I love your point of view and what you're thinking, what Sean does.

941
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:33,760
But we were talking about this and I brought this up to him because he was talking about

942
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:38,000
diamonds and how they make them too perfect.

943
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:41,760
And we're talking about the price of gold plummeted and different reasons.

944
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,620
Well, here's what I've always said.

945
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:49,840
People always say, investing gold, investing gold, because what if everything goes to hell?

946
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:54,320
If everything goes to hell, don't you want lithium batteries and canned food?

947
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,280
What are you going to do with gold?

948
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:57,280
I've never gotten that.

949
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:01,960
I'm like, I'm not buying gold because what the fuck are you going to do with it if shit

950
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:02,960
hits the fan?

951
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,920
Yeah, then it's not going to be worth anything.

952
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:10,640
The whole name of the game is stay alive and try to figure something out.

953
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:11,640
Survival.

954
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:12,640
Yeah.

955
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,800
So you're going to want like lithium batteries.

956
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,440
You're going to want different forms of energy.

957
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,240
You want it like solar.

958
00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:26,600
You want to figure out how to live a life that you can live fairly comfortably after

959
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,280
shit hits the fan.

960
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:35,440
Ways to get food or ways to have food, hydrated, dehydrated food, all this stuff.

961
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,440
I've never gotten the gold craze.

962
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:42,840
As a matter of fact, I think people use that as a crutch to try to sell gold.

963
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,400
I think they do too.

964
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,320
Yeah, because I think it's like, well, this is something that's going to only go up in

965
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:49,800
value and never lose value.

966
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,160
Well, if the world goes to shit, it has no value.

967
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,240
I'm sorry.

968
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:58,840
That can of beans has value.

969
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,960
Because you're going to eat that son of a bitch and feel better about everything.

970
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:07,840
Yeah, for a rock you can go down to the river and find.

971
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:08,840
Yes.

972
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:09,840
Yeah.

973
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:10,840
Or in a cave.

974
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:11,840
Yeah.

975
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,440
So I've always contended that.

976
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,800
I'm like, why the fuck do you want gold?

977
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,240
You know what you want?

978
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:18,240
Yeah.

979
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:25,360
You want a surplus of fucking Pepsi somewhere too, right?

980
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,800
That way you can have like a little fucking nice beverage.

981
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,120
You want a surplus of beer somewhere too, right?

982
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,240
Yeah, I'm more RC these days.

983
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:35,240
Oh, no, no, no.

984
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:36,720
That's yeah, me too.

985
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:37,720
I love RC.

986
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:39,440
I've been on RC for a while now.

987
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:40,440
Yeah.

988
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,760
It's a great tasting drink.

989
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:49,280
I drink more Pepsi or the sodas more in the morning and then the afternoon made the tea.

990
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,680
And I noticed my stomach isn't as upset.

991
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,480
Yeah, I know the citric acid and the.

992
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,480
Yeah.

993
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,480
And all the acidity.

994
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:02,680
And you guys did a podcast on that too.

995
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:03,680
Yeah.

996
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,680
Coke and Pepsi and RC is like right in between.

997
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:07,680
Yeah.

998
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:15,200
And then I drink RC growing up, you know, and everybody did our age.

999
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:20,960
Well, the reason I remember it is you probably listen to the podcast is they retro the cans

1000
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,320
back to the cans when we were young.

1001
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,080
Yes, they did.

1002
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:26,080
Yeah.

1003
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,080
And I want to buy it again.

1004
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:30,680
My 18 year old son hooked on it.

1005
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:31,680
Yeah.

1006
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,680
Pepsi all his life.

1007
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:33,680
It's fantastic.

1008
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:38,040
It's a fantastic soda that had been forgotten about because they changed the can and the

1009
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:40,080
can was very unbecoming.

1010
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:45,580
It was really dark blue, but it had an RC that was like really not that legible.

1011
00:47:45,580 --> 00:47:50,800
It wasn't the classic round symbol with the famous RC in the middle.

1012
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:52,600
It was an RC.

1013
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,160
RC stands for Royal Crown Cola.

1014
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,960
Right, right.

1015
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,040
And it's a fantastic drink.

1016
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:02,560
And I suggest everybody try it at least once.

1017
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:06,760
And there's a soda pop machine down at the City Market that I like.

1018
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:12,720
It's called KC Soda Company and they have real sugar RC at times in bottles.

1019
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,960
And that stuff is freaking delicious.

1020
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,960
Oh yeah.

1021
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:16,960
Yeah.

1022
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:18,960
I remember buying those as a kid.

1023
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:19,960
Yeah.

1024
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:26,240
I take my mom mowing money and I can buy whatever snack I wanted and soda and keep it in my

1025
00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:27,240
room.

1026
00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:28,240
Yeah.

1027
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,240
As long as I paid for it.

1028
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:32,240
Yeah.

1029
00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:37,120
No, me and Brian had a dynasty around Cleveland there on the lawns.

1030
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,600
Him and I were getting all the lawns because we were the go getters.

1031
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,320
And so finally we formed a pact.

1032
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:45,800
We just did the lawns together and split the money.

1033
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,320
It was funny because then you had someone to talk to and bullshit with and hang out

1034
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,160
with while you're mowing.

1035
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:55,320
And one day Brian comes up to me and goes, you know, you and I have all the lawns in

1036
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:56,320
the town.

1037
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,320
I'm like, yeah.

1038
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:02,920
Let's join forces and get all the lawns and then we'll get all the money and we'll have

1039
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:03,920
fun doing it.

1040
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,920
I'm like, you're fucking genius, Brian.

1041
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:06,920
Let's do that.

1042
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,920
And look at him today.

1043
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:10,920
Yeah.

1044
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:11,920
Yeah.

1045
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:12,920
Look at him.

1046
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:13,920
He's doing fantastic.

1047
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:14,920
I just talked to him this morning.

1048
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,720
He's wanting to book a cruise and he knows that I know all about cruises.

1049
00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:22,040
So I hooked him up with a good friend of mine that I mentioned her before.

1050
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:26,540
She bailed me out of some shit on my last cruise because Southwest is a fucking evil

1051
00:49:26,540 --> 00:49:29,840
company and they suck ass in my opinion.

1052
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,380
Wendy Whitbeck with Travel Masters.

1053
00:49:32,380 --> 00:49:34,360
Look her up the best.

1054
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:40,720
She saved my ass on Southwest screwing me as hard as they could and no lube.

1055
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,320
So yeah, she is an awesome person too.

1056
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,240
Had many drinks with her on the boat.

1057
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:51,680
So anyhow, I would say if you have plans.

1058
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,800
Yeah, Val was there.

1059
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:54,920
Yes, absolutely.

1060
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:56,040
Yep.

1061
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,080
You think she's going to let me go do anything like that on my own?

1062
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:03,120
You guys have been together too long.

1063
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:04,120
Yeah.

1064
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,120
Oh no.

1065
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:06,120
Yeah.

1066
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:10,200
It's like, no way Buster.

1067
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:11,200
There's RC right there.

1068
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:12,200
I'm drinking.

1069
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:13,200
It's good shit.

1070
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:14,200
You know.

1071
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,240
I'm on I'm on to you right now.

1072
00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:17,240
Oh, that's all right.

1073
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:18,240
There's nothing wrong with that.

1074
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:20,640
And you obviously don't work tomorrow, do you?

1075
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,880
No, I'm actually off paid tomorrow.

1076
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:26,960
Yeah, I'm off tomorrow too and paid for Memorial Day.

1077
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:33,280
And I have these big beef short ribs that I'm going to slightly braise and then smoke.

1078
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:37,560
And I'm hoping by tomorrow about 4pm those things you can almost put your thumb through

1079
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:38,560
them.

1080
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:39,560
Oh, wow.

1081
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:40,560
I'm going to make.

1082
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:43,560
I've got a I've got a hickory tenderloin.

1083
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:44,560
Yeah.

1084
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:45,560
Mm hmm.

1085
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:54,480
I've got this this was an old recipe that I handed down to me from this old black gentleman

1086
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:55,480
that I knew.

1087
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,000
He's a really, really good guy.

1088
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:02,400
He told me one day, he said, Mark, he said, I got the best barbecue sauce around for basting.

1089
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:05,720
And he said, it's my own family recipe.

1090
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:08,800
And he said it came back from way back in the slave days.

1091
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:13,800
He said they have to make they had to make that bullshit that the that the plantation

1092
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,600
owners gave us taste good.

1093
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,240
He said, here it is.

1094
00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:19,160
And I found that recipe that he gave me.

1095
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,920
And I'm going to put some of that on there.

1096
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,920
And that shit is fucking fantastic.

1097
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:23,920
Yeah.

1098
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:24,920
Yeah.

1099
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:25,920
Yeah.

1100
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:26,920
He's a really good guy.

1101
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:27,920
Miss him.

1102
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:33,400
He's a he always had some wisdom that you could always use every day.

1103
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,760
If you just listen to him, if you bothered to stop and talk to him, you got a lot out

1104
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,680
of a lot of people just thought he's some old fool.

1105
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,320
I love them older gentlemen.

1106
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:42,320
Yeah.

1107
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,760
They get a lot out of the two wisdom right there.

1108
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:50,240
If you want, if you wish to get information and find out about everything and really the

1109
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:54,080
key to life, talk to an old man that's sitting on his porch.

1110
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:55,080
Yeah.

1111
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:59,000
They will tell you everything because they figured it out.

1112
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,180
They're sitting on that porch, loving life.

1113
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:02,180
They figured it out.

1114
00:52:02,180 --> 00:52:05,180
They've made it through.

1115
00:52:05,180 --> 00:52:06,180
Yes.

1116
00:52:06,180 --> 00:52:07,180
Yep.

1117
00:52:07,180 --> 00:52:09,840
And Clifford down the road, he used to do that, too.

1118
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:10,840
Oh my God.

1119
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:13,840
He'd go out there and he'd always stay busy.

1120
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:14,840
Like he'd build shit.

1121
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,240
He'd build a rock garden.

1122
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:21,520
He'd build a rock fence, all this stuff because he was bored in his off time.

1123
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,480
He liked to stay busy.

1124
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:26,760
Then towards the end of the evening when he was getting ready to go in and go to bed,

1125
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,320
he'd sit out in his little porch there.

1126
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,320
I'd just come up.

1127
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:30,960
What's the word Clifford?

1128
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,480
And he'd just start talking.

1129
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:42,040
One day he showed me all these old LPs, old Western, country Western LPs.

1130
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,600
They were so cool.

1131
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:49,280
He was describing to me where he got them at, where he got them out, what they were.

1132
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,080
He played some of them for me.

1133
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,080
That was so cool.

1134
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,320
He goes, yeah, he goes, listen to this one.

1135
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,240
This guy is this guy.

1136
00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:58,480
He grew up in Western Kansas.

1137
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:03,040
Anyhow, he played the banjo better than anybody.

1138
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:07,240
Like he's telling some other stories like this guy could play the fiddle, but he could

1139
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:09,120
not keep time.

1140
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:13,800
If this guy plays on his own, he's fantastic, but he could not play in a band.

1141
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:21,480
He just had all this information about music, about country Western music, the real stuff,

1142
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:26,280
and all these old obscure albums that you could not find anymore.

1143
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,280
It was so cool.

1144
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,360
I used to just sit out there and just listen to him.

1145
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:31,360
He'd just start talking.

1146
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:35,120
I'd stay there for hours talking to him.

1147
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,720
Stuff like that that I treasure is sadly gone away.

1148
00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:39,720
Sure.

1149
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:45,720
Anyhow, let's get to one of my pranks.

1150
00:53:45,720 --> 00:53:46,720
Sure.

1151
00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:47,720
All right.

1152
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:51,880
There's another one of Mark's famous pranks.

1153
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,720
In high school, we had two men's restrooms, right?

1154
00:53:54,720 --> 00:53:58,120
There is a small school.

1155
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,120
One on the east side.

1156
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:00,960
Yeah, yours was a little smaller than mine.

1157
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,880
Quite a bit smaller.

1158
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,520
One on the east side and one on the west side.

1159
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,560
The one on the west side was very dim.

1160
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,080
It was an add-on and had a very odd lighting system.

1161
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:17,960
It consisted of lights on the corners, but no overhead center lights.

1162
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:22,520
I think it was done on the cheap because the builders forwent any more wiring to add to

1163
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,480
the cost.

1164
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:28,120
I think they just kept a light on each side and you couldn't really see yourself peeing

1165
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,520
that well or nothing.

1166
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:35,960
There's probably a lot of dribble marks everywhere, I would imagine.

1167
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:39,600
This being the case, I witnessed a prank at the Kansas City Zoo.

1168
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,200
It had a fantastic idea.

1169
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:47,240
The zoo's bathroom at the time had urinals, but it was the opposite in there.

1170
00:54:47,240 --> 00:54:48,840
It had a partial opening.

1171
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:52,640
Remember those partial opening bathrooms at the zoo?

1172
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,040
Yeah.

1173
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,160
There wouldn't be a roof in the middle of it.

1174
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:07,200
There were cinder block buildings that basically had a couple of toilets and a couple of urinals.

1175
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:12,800
The light coming in, the zoo's bathroom had urinals.

1176
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:17,200
The opening in the roof, the sun was so bright it was hard to see the urinal, so it was the

1177
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,480
opposite of the one in school.

1178
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:25,320
I was washing my hands, but I heard a scream followed by cursing and someone jumping around

1179
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,160
angry.

1180
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:33,740
I looked over and someone had cellophane the urinal.

1181
00:55:33,740 --> 00:55:39,520
You couldn't see it because with the angle when you walked in at the sunlight, you could

1182
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,760
not see it for nothing.

1183
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,800
It just looked like a regular urinal.

1184
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,200
It was like fishing line.

1185
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:47,200
Yes.

1186
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,200
Yep.

1187
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:50,080
It was wrapped in cellophane and no one could see it.

1188
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:56,120
The poor bastard went to piss only to have his urine splashed all over him.

1189
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,320
I was amazed at what a fantastic prank.

1190
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,560
What a fantastic idea.

1191
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:06,840
I come into school with this fantastic idea, but I would need accomplices.

1192
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:07,840
I'm like, shit.

1193
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:08,840
I go, you know what?

1194
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:13,520
I really need to cellophane that middle urinal where it's really, really dark.

1195
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:19,120
I really need to cellophane that bitch, but I don't know how I'm going to do it.

1196
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:25,800
So Jerry was doing a janitor internship for a week as part of career week.

1197
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,960
So I'm like going, hmm, I bet you Jerry know where there's some cellophane.

1198
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:34,840
And furthermore, I think Jerry would help me fucking put that bitch on.

1199
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:36,840
Well I was right.

1200
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:42,880
So I told Jerry this evil idea and he quickly replied, we have cellophane in the supply

1201
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:45,240
room for the kitchen.

1202
00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:48,080
Score.

1203
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:52,600
So suddenly my brilliant idea was coming to fruition.

1204
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,800
Jerry grabbed some of the said plastic and stashed it behind the storage bin in the closet

1205
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,840
of the dim bathroom.

1206
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:03,560
So it's already sitting there in the storage room, already waiting to go into action.

1207
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,360
Jerry was a lookout when I sprang into evilness.

1208
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:10,040
I quickly wrapped the urinal and put it back in its hiding spot.

1209
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:14,860
So the cellophane was back in the closet and the urinal was all tightly wrapped.

1210
00:57:14,860 --> 00:57:19,040
And like I thought, you could not see it because the light was so dim.

1211
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:24,360
I was helping Jerry in the hallway acting like we were trying to fix the roller broom.

1212
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:29,240
Remember those old roller brooms they used to go over the mats with?

1213
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:32,880
We acted like one was broke and we're sitting there going, hmm, ha, ha, looking at it and

1214
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,440
scratching our heads.

1215
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:41,640
When the principal decided he actually wanted to use the boys bathroom instead of his own.

1216
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:46,720
So we'll just call him Mr. X, OK?

1217
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:50,280
Because I don't want to get real names involved in this, even to this day.

1218
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:52,040
Mr. X went in there to use the bathroom.

1219
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:53,040
He comes in, howdy, boys.

1220
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,760
He used to always say, howdy, boys.

1221
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,440
And he talked real fast because, howdy, boys.

1222
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,440
So you guys are trying to fix something.

1223
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:01,680
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1224
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,880
We think we got it, Mr. X. All right.

1225
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:06,200
Hey, thanks a lot, boys.

1226
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,120
We appreciate that.

1227
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,560
And he's already zipping out his zipper as he's walking in the pisser, right?

1228
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:12,560
Well, yeah.

1229
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:17,120
All of a sudden, we hear a scream.

1230
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:23,080
And next thing we know, he comes out of there all fucking wet.

1231
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,960
And he first questioned us.

1232
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:27,720
And we're like, what?

1233
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:28,720
What the fuck are you doing?

1234
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:29,720
You know, we didn't say fuck.

1235
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,440
We're like, what are you talking about?

1236
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,440
And we played it off perfectly.

1237
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:35,960
We're like, what do you mean?

1238
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:36,960
What do you mean it's wrapped?

1239
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,360
He goes, someone wrapped the urinal.

1240
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:40,360
What?

1241
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:41,360
With a bow?

1242
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:42,360
No, no, no, with plastic.

1243
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:47,360
And we're sitting there like, we played dumb so well that.

1244
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,360
The dumber you play, the better you play it off.

1245
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:52,360
Yeah, yeah.

1246
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:53,360
And then finally, he gets frustrated.

1247
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:54,760
And he walks off.

1248
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,280
And he's bound and determined to find out who did it.

1249
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:58,680
He put an APB out.

1250
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:01,800
But he never did find out who did it because we were the ones that did it.

1251
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:07,880
And he already X'd us off because we played too stupid.

1252
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,200
And that was a fantastic prank.

1253
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:14,560
And Harry wasn't at the school yet when we did that one.

1254
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,560
So anyhow.

1255
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:41,240
May your mother come to talk to you.

1256
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:55,320
And leave your door slightly ajar so that you may have to get up and close it.

1257
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:58,760
Oh Lord, that man just sawed a puppy in half.

1258
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,760
Hey there, don't worry.

1259
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:02,760
I have a clown nose.

1260
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:08,280
Oh no!

1261
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,840
That drunk guy just hit my child!

1262
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:11,840
It's okay.

1263
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:12,840
I have a clown nose.

1264
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:13,840
Clown nose, just put one on and you can do anything.

1265
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:14,840
Want to run for office?

1266
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:15,840
Murder people in public?

1267
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:26,480
Just grab a clown nose and bam, everyone laughs.

1268
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,960
Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

1269
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:29,960
Grab one today and make magic happen.

1270
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:45,080
Hey, where did they go?

1271
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,080
Where are the douchebags?

1272
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,080
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner.

1273
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:50,080
Oh jeez.

1274
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:51,080
Glad they're gone.

1275
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,080
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1276
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:53,080
Man, that smells.

1277
01:00:53,080 --> 01:01:04,480
You know what?

1278
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:06,480
Thanks for watching!