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Live from the city market, it is Toot Toot Spags and Microphone Podcast.

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The new for the makers of Guess Who Bit My Asshole Board Game and Guess Who's Genitals Are On My Face is Toot Toot Spags and Microphone Action Figure.

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That's right, each action figure comes with a scratchy stiff pelvic area, a free bag of Cheetos, and three free mullets.

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That's right, three free mullets. You can put these on each Toot Spag and have fun nude from Gizbro.

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Act now and get a free at-home taint piercing. That's right, free at-home taint piercing.

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This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Toot Toot Spags and Microphone.

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People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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One, smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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Our aroma's been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

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Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

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Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

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Well, guess they finally figured out the microphone, idiots.

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Hey there, everybody. Two douchebags, one microphone, minus one douchebag.

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We hope he will be back soon, but he's got some stuff going on.

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You know, he got kidnapped, and the pale people are really adamant about training him to love pale.

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So we all pray for him, and we all want a moment of silence for Topher, starting right now.

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Sends the music. Okay, well, like I said, Topher is battling the pale people.

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We're working hard to try to find them. We have law enforcement all over it, and we're looking everywhere.

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And the hashtag, where's Christopher? That's the new one.

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Hashtag, where's Topher? That's what we need.

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We need more awareness that Topher is being tortured by watching pale videos, and they're trying to brainwash men to liking pale.

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This is only the start of it. We're trying to take over the world, people. So, anyhow, I warned you.

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Okay, I'm going to start off with an interesting little segment here I've been wanting to do a while, and that is intelligent...

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What would you say? Gentle insults, whenever someone insults you.

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And then usually responses, oh, fuck you, or shut up, asshole, or something like that.

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There's other ways to handle it, and I did a little research here, and I love some of these ways people handle it whenever they get dogged on, or make fun of, or whatever.

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So, one of them is, after someone insults you, saying, fuck you, eat you, you're a kid, you lack so much brain matter that you float on water.

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That was a pretty good one. If Topher was here, he'd be laughing his ass off on that.

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But maybe I need to get a little sound bite of Topher laughing, and I just like going in here everywhere, and people won't notice I'm gone as much.

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So, the next one is, I'm like, hey man, you're a little dick, or whatever, or you're so ugly you broke my mirror five blocks away, or whatever.

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Then you could go back in very gentle voice, I'd insult you, but then I would have to explain it afterward.

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So, never mind. I love that one. That one just, that's really, it gets to the point, and is like really piercing.

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And anyone that knows anything, any type of intelligence at all, knows that you just own that guy, and there's no way he can really recover from that.

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He's not prepared, he doesn't have one of these written down, and memorized, or nothing like you do.

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So, therefore, you won, and you walk off looking like the intelligent one, and he walks off looking like the drooling skit he is.

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So, okay, the next one is, and I've heard this one before, but I'm going to go over it again, but someone comes up and,

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hey, you're a fucking idiot, man, look at that, you got weird shoes.

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Okay, then you go back to them. I don't have time or crayons to explain it to you.

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I've always liked that one. You can see him over there looking like a fucking disheveled, I don't know, small animal or something, trying to crayon something, trying to draw something.

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So, that's a pretty good one, and I like it. And once again, there's not really any, there might be some retaliation for that one, but not much.

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Most of the times, you know, they fucking take their ball and they go home.

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So, another one, I've heard this one before too, but I love it because it brings other family members into it without really kind of bringing them into it.

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But anyhow, you're really still insulting the core and not like their mama or something, but I love your mama jokes. They've had their time, right?

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So, anyhow, so someone comes up and goes, hey, you're a dickface. You look at them very calmly and go, in what way are your parents related to each other?

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That was great because that's a good way of calling them mentally special without actually saying it and kind of making fun of their parents without actually dogging them really bad.

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It's the perfect crime. I love it. So, that one's a good one.

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This next one is kind of involved, but you've got to make sure you're prepared to say this because it's not, and I'll probably screw it up saying it too.

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So, someone comes up and goes, you're a dickface. You walk in and then you want to go in a very calm voice.

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In what way are your...oh, see, I knew I'd screw it up. Oh no, a commercial. Hang on.

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Okay, so this one right here is...well, I'll just say it and I'm going to try not to screw it up because this one right here makes him think about it and realize how insulted they just were.

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But it takes a minute for him to catch up with it. And so after he goes, like I said, he comes up and goes, dickface or something, you know nothing.

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In fact, you know less than nothing because if you knew that, you would know nothing and that would be something.

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Yeah, a little complex there, but I stopped there to let it sink in what I just said because it does take a second.

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So I'll go over it again. You know nothing. In fact, you know less than nothing because if you knew that you knew nothing, that would be something.

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I love that.

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Alright, next one, the guy comes up and goes, you look stupid or you dress funny or whatever.

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So, okay, you drink from a weird straw. I don't know, something. So anyhow, you won't be able to get a diamond as a prostitute on one half price day.

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That was pretty neat. I like that one a lot.

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And this next one I really, really love.

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What contraceptive do you use? Your face?

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Someone comes up and goes, you're a dickhead or you're a fucking face or you're a great job idiot or something or you trip or something.

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Does anybody make fun of you?

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Break out what contraceptive do you use? Your face?

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You won that one. You won that one? All you gotta do is wipe off your hands and go home.

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This next one is great. I love it.

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With God reigned beauty on the earth, you were holding an umbrella.

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I love that one. That one is a classic automatically.

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Automatically I think that one in the You Knew Nothing goes into the Hall of Fame of intelligent, what would you call, calm jokes.

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I would call them calm insults.

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Like someone comes up to you all erratically and goes, hey, great job, book face.

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And then you reply very calmly with that. You won it. And there's no way they can recuperate from it.

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So the next one I really love too, because this is another one of those ones that brings other family members into it without actually really dogging them, but kind of.

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So it's not like quite your mama joke where it's like directly making fun of your mama's weight or whatever.

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But at the same time, it's bringing them in. So anyhow, someone comes up and goes, you're a dickhead.

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And you go, you should see your parents for looking like that.

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I love that one. That one's fantastic.

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And again, I got a million of these and periodically you're going to be getting segments of these here and there because they're great.

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I love them.

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The next one's really good. And this one's a little bit more up to date.

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Anyhow, someone comes up and goes, ah man, you trip over your own shadow.

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So anyhow, take a picture, you would put a virus on my phone.

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That one's fantastic too.

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Because, well, that pretty much says it all. I mean, you're so ugly, you put a virus on my phone.

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So anyhow, yeah, I love that one.

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So all those point through all of those. I'm going to go ahead and cut off those and go into a slightly different one.

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And this is alternative insults. And alternative insults, I mean, really, I kind of got the idea.

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I mean, Topher got the idea for this because part of this and then part of, you know, sometimes you're in a public setting and you can't really, you know, say something really rude or offensive.

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So you've got to come up with something different to get the point across.

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So.

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The alternative insults. The first one I got is jock itch.

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That's pretty self explanatory. You got jock itch and you are a bumming, bumming motherfucker.

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There is nothing cool about jock itch or even humane.

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If you ever really hate someone, you wish bad jock itch on them.

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I mean, really hate. I mean, like hate, hate. Like the darkest, blackest of hate found in the depth of hell.

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That is where calling someone jock itch comes from.

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So the next one is and I love this one because it's just describes like a slob to me.

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Home is sausage casing. That's right. Plain old sausage casing.

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Yep. So your intestines wrapped around ground up meat from the same animal.

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Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. That describes quite the picture, doesn't it?

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Next one is more of a pain in the ass than anything else.

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So this one's just like, you know, an alternative insult for calling someone a pain in the ass.

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And that is dry cartridge.

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You know, you're like printing stuff off your boarding passes, right?

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And you got one of them, but you don't have your wife's done yet.

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So you go back to your wife's and all of a sudden ink dry. No more.

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So then before you go out of town, you have to go buy another ink cartridge.

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You got to find out what kind they are because chances are it's a new printer.

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Because every time you run out of ink, you just buy a new printer anymore because they're just as cheap as buying the refills.

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Unless you buy one of those new Epson refillable ones that you just take a bottle of ink and throw it in there.

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And you're screwed. So that one, the dry cartridge one is more of a pain in the ass.

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You get away.

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So next one, empty vessel.

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Empty vessel can be anything.

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It could be a propane container to, I don't know, a submarine.

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It just means nothing in there.

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Kind of describes their brain matter or something, their head.

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Empty vessel. Nothing in there.

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So the next one is, I love it.

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And this is an irritant. This is more of a, don't get away from me. You're fucking bothering me.

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Heat blister.

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Heat blister is awesome.

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Heat blister is about as irritating as it comes.

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It's like in the line of Jock Itch and Jock Itch is fucking horrible.

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And anyone that's ever had it knows what I mean.

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I mean, it's like one of those moments where you wonder why you're being punished.

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You know, even though God doesn't work like that, but you know, man, why?

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Why did this happen?

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So heat blisters suck and so did the person who just called a heat blister.

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In all these, you've got to say with authority, you can't just go, Jock Itch, sausage casing.

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You've got to go, Jock Itch, sausage casing, heat blister, dry cartridge.

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I still love that one. Empty vessel. That's a good one too.

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So anyhow, they're all good.

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Next one.

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Typo.

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Typo sucks because you print something out.

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I do this all the time. I'm printing something out for the show because I prefer it in print because it's easier for me to read.

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My ineligible handwriting. It's not easy for me to read.

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I can write it down, but I can't decode it for shit.

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So anyhow, I prefer it in typing and then I still screw it up, but maybe not as bad.

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Even though you never know because I screw it up so bad it seems like it's as bad as I could screw it up.

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But no, trust me. I could screw it up worse. And I have and I will.

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So Typo is a pretty good one because it's so bad.

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You go back and you read the whole article. You just typed out so you can say it in your words instead of CNNs or whoever's.

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You know, so it also sounds more like me saying it and not like a news service because that's part of what, to me, that's part of what relaying the stupid stories that we cover here on 2 Deuce Bags Microphone.

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Part of relaying it is bringing it down to just, I don't know, layman's terms. Just like, you know.

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So anyhow, let's see.

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The next one is Hamster Toy.

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Hamster Toy is pretty explanatory too.

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You're like a toy that hamsters play with.

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So, yeah.

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That probably, to me, describes like a mental midget or something. You know, you're just in there and the hamster's messing with you.

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There's nothing you can do about it because you're that primitive.

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You know, like inanimate object primitive.

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Like nothing going on. Like empty. Like an empty vessel. Only you're a hamster toy.

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An hamster comes by, chews on you, and like, I don't know. Whatever hamsters do, scratch or I don't know, whatever.

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So, the next one I love too because they're very simplistic and just there to serve their purpose.

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A squirrel cage.

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So you walk up to someone and they're like, man, you're a squirrel cage.

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They don't even say you're a squirrel cage.

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Not at least you're like over there scratching their head going, squirrel cage?

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Uh, okay.

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I mean, you can let go. Please don't call me that again.

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But I mean, by that point, people are laughing at you thinking you're a sissy because, uh, I don't know.

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It's not like a real insult. Like, I don't know.

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But anyhow, it still gets point across and it's great.

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Next one, this one's horrible because everybody hates him and everybody's had him.

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Soggy bandage.

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There's another one that you don't say you're a. You just go, soggy bandage.

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I'm really digging this music, whatever the hell it is.

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Well, I mean, it's non-copyrighted so, whether it fits what I'm doing or not, that's what you're getting.

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So, soggy bandage gets point across to me and it's irritating and it does serve a purpose though.

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So, I guess it's more of an irritant. So, if you call someone a soggy bandage, you might as well call them, like, I don't know, a fly or something.

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So, next one is a good old server error.

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So, then again, this is another one that you're calling someone an irritant instead of an inanimate object.

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Server error describes everything.

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Oops, try again.

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So, I love that one.

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The next one's kind of an innuendo and I love it too.

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You just call someone a Lincoln log and you don't put A in front of you, just point at the Lincoln log.

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So, Lincoln log is pretty much, you know, it could be Lincoln's dump.

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It could be the actual food that people make on their countertop.

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It could be his log cabin that the log said he built with his log cabin because they all left their log cabins back in.

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So, it could be anything, but none of them are that good.

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So, I prefer to think of it as a big, long, ashy piece of crap.

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A Lincoln log.

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Like one when he just got done going to a pig roast.

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Yeah, so.

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And drinking one of those, what the hell do they call them?

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All those drinks they did back then when they fired them, they stone fired them.

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A loggerhead or something like that or a loggerfuel.

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No, loggerhead.

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I think it's a loggerhead, anyhow.

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Yeah, after drinking like 10 of those and eating half of a pig.

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So, next one is wire feed welder.

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And the reason I say wire feed welder is because anyone that's big welded before has, when they're learning, they get that fucking,

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they call them pecker tracks all over them.

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It is nasty looking.

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Little, they're essentially hot wire grips on the piece of metal that you're trying to fuse weld together.

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So, anyhow, wire feed welder is good and nasty.

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Next one is shaved ice.

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Shaved ice is pretty much what it sounds like.

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Shaved ice.

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It's not real ice, it's shaved ice.

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And then, did my music run out?

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No, I don't think so.

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Unless there's another commercial.

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No, okay, it's still my music.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Okay, I was on shaved ice.

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Security briefing.

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Yeah, yeah, that's pretty explanatory.

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Nobody wants to go through one, but you got to go through it for whatever.

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Whether it's you're at the TSA or, I don't know, applying for a job or whatever.

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Security briefing suck and we know it.

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And last but not least, rock salt.

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That's right, good old rock salt.

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Yeah, put a little rock salt on your shoe, see how much you like that shit.

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Yeah.

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So rock salt is horrible and also a great way to offend somebody without actually saying

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a filthy word.

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So, that's what I'm going into is Tyreek Hill.

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Remember that guy?

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Yeah, that good old Tyreek.

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That old lovable little guy.

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Well anyhow, I guess this happened, I don't know, a few weeks ago.

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A man asked Tyreek Hill to sign a football trading card of him with a cheese when he

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promptly replied, oh, the queefs.

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As you can imagine when this was videoed and posted on Twitter, it immediately got spontaneous

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feedback.

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Some of the more clever ones were, call them whatever you want, but make sure you put a

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Super Bowl champs in front of it.

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In other words, oh my, someone is upset the chiefs didn't miss a beat without him.

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You know, I'm getting Tyreek is always inserting himself into the chiefs conversation.

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Dude, build a bridge and get over it.

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Yo, they have said nothing but positive things about you.

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I can't count how many people, Travis Kelce, Mahomes, I think Chris Jones is always joking

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with you.

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You know, they obviously loved you.

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Why would you go and turn your back on them like this?

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You know, you didn't have to leave.

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The money was virtually the same and you would have another Super Bowl ring and you've been

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loved and revered.

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But I mean, the fact that we did better without you probably really set, I don't know, really

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kind of irritated the piss out of you.

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But you know, sometimes you got to take things for what they are, you know.

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People get replaced and places are usually fine.

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I mean, unless it's like a really very important position like a nuclear reactor, I don't know,

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engineer, like might be the only one that knows how to do certain things or something

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like that, you know, you're usually okay.

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It takes a little learning curve, but the chiefs didn't even need a learning curve.

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And I understand that that bothers you.

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But you know, why take it out on the chiefs?

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All they do is constantly throw love your way and you're always throwing shade on them

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and saying stuff.

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I mean, it just really doesn't come out very good for you.

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What you need to do is act like you meant to and just keep going forward.

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You know, that's the best thing to do is be like, you know what, I'm here and I wanted

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to be in Miami and I love this team and I believe in us and we're going to go far next

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year and we hope we see the chiefs, you know, in the championship game.

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We would love to see that.

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And I'm going to put my best foot forward, try to ensure that we're in the Super Bowl.

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But don't just sit there and say the queefs.

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That's still low budget, especially, you know, on national media and national, a national

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podium like Twitter.

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You know, I go back to like what Trump used to do.

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You know, Trump would like ridicule and make fun of people on Twitter.

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And how well did that work out for him?

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Not very.

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It made him I mean, that may not have been the only reason that made him lose the presidency.

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And I kind of feel that if he would have not done that, there's a lot of people that wouldn't

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have turned on him so much.

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So I mean, evidently, a lot of people voted for him the first time and not vote for him

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the second time.

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And I think a lot of it is because he couldn't keep his mouth shut on Twitter.

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And I think it's the same with Tyree Hill.

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You know, at first, people respect him, but wow, leaving a Super Bowl contender for an

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iffy, OK, you know, well, that takes a lot of guts, guy.

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You must really believe in the organization, the coach and everything or something.

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But you do this makes it look like you did a reactionary move and now you regret it.

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It's like, I don't know, like calling someone like calling, I don't know, your girlfriend

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the C word or something.

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You could never take it back.

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You know, all of a sudden, everyone's kind of like looking at you like, oh, you just

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crossed the line.

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That's kind of what you did, Tyree.

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If I were you, I'd just like start calming it down and just saying I wish the Chiefs

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well and I wish us even better.

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Well, and just call it that.

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And you left, you left on your own accord and be good with it.

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You know, walk around proud.

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Don't walk around jaded and pissed off.

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Anyhow, that's my thought on that.

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Hey, everybody, this is Mark.

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I just wanted to speak here about the eight new electric vehicles without AM radio.

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Now, people may not think this isn't a big deal or anything, but actually it is.

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AM radio is the only way that all emergency broadcasts are carried out.

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There is no other platform that you can be guaranteed that this is how you're going to

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get emergency information.

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That is AM radio.

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And AM radio, you know, maybe people are going, well, you know, you want to hear talk radio

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that's on AM.

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You can always go to the Internet and you'll be fine.

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But the Internet is not always compliant with any emergency broadcast system.

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And I think them doing this is a complete mistake.

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And I think actually there might be some legislation coming up that might make them actually

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start putting AM radios back in these electric vehicles.

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And, you know, it doesn't make a lot of sense, especially since the president is pushing

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these electric vehicles and the electric agenda, why they would leave out such an important

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note like AM radio.

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You know, AM radio may be the old grandfather that everybody forgot about, but AM radio

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is more important than FM radio.

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00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:09,000
FM radio is being forgotten about on the same level as AM radio, actually.

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All radio is.

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The future is actually old technology and it's right here on the Internet.

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Podcasts.

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Everyone seems to be getting their information from podcasts.

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And that's not going to do you any good if any emergency comes up.

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So, so anyhow, and you may not be listening to AM radio anyhow, but it's let's say you

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go to a station, you heard something really bad going on, like, I don't know, there's

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been an explosion in D.C. or something.

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Then you go to AM radio and start listening about it.

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You're not guaranteed that FM would carry it, but you can guarantee that if you have

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AM radio, you can go on it.

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And actually, if you know your AM stations, you can probably go online and listen to them

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online, too.

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But still, anyone that doesn't have the capability or I don't know the I think everyone has like

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unlimited plans now.

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But let's say you don't have the gig or whatever to to receive this information.

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Well, you know, if you don't have AM radio, you're screwed.

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So that's just my thought on it, and I thought it was very peculiar that we'd leave out something

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like that, especially since all the emergency everything is on AM radio.

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So this is Mark.

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And I just thought I'd bring that up and thought that was rather peculiar that they would leave

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out such a thing.

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Not responsible for greasy residue left on your Bluetooth.

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00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,000
No, no, no.

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00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,000
Hi, everybody.

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This is Mark.

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00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
And I have another quick hits for you.

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00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:51,000
This is Bentonville, Arkansas, is testicle festival.

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00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,000
It's true.

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00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Look it up.

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00:26:53,000 --> 00:27:02,000
August 24th and 25th, 26th and 27th, 2023 at the Benton County Fairgrounds 7640 Southwest

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00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Regional Airport Boulevard, Bentonville, Arkansas.

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00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000
Yeah.

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00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,000
So this is pretty much what you think it is.

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00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,000
It is a festival about testicles.

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00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,000
And it says right here, we've made some exciting changes since last year.

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00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,000
We're moving toward a BYOB model to avoid the governmental headaches.

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00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:31,000
We ran into with the ABC and bring you the best testicle festival possible.

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00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,000
This August, you're invited back to an even bigger, better party.

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00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:41,000
When the freedom to host activities like ladies oil wrestling, room for a wild fun weekend.

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00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Come camp with us and bring a cooler full of favorite beer.

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00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:51,000
We've got great live music, food trucks and plenty of friars to keep the balls flowing.

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00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000
Who are stickers early?

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00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,000
Ten bucks for the entire weekend.

359
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
The scheduled Thursday, 11 a.m.

360
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Camper loading arrival registration begins.

361
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:05,000
Six p.m. Testicle Festival opens for general admission.

362
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Six p.m. Lydie Cornhole registration begins.

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00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,000
Six p.m. The dirty strings.

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00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Seven thirty Lydie Cornhole tournament begins.

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00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Eight o'clock small bonfire.

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00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,000
Eight o'clock Eureka strings.

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00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Ten p.m. Mountain Sprout.

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00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Friday, 11 a.m. Testicle Festival opens for general admission.

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00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
12 p.m. Dusty Smith.

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00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000
One p.m. Timmy Ray.

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00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Two p.m. Tennessee Dreaming.

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Three p.m. Joe Tyler.

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Four p.m. Philip Good.

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Five p.m. Thai March.

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Six p.m. Undy 800.

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Six thirty Magnificent Mullets of Lundell.

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Eight p.m. Medium Bonfire.

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00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Eight p.m. Dusty Black.

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00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Nine thirty Best Beard Contest.

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00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Ten p.m. Brian Martin.

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00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Twelve a.m. Campfire Time.

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00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Saturday, 10 a.m. Testicle Festival opens for general admission.

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00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Eleven a.m. Austin Tolliver.

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00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Twelve thirty Truck and Motorcycle Show starts.

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00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
One p.m. Cypress Spring.

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00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:29,000
Two thirty Ball Eating Contest.

387
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000
Three p.m. Dusty Lee.

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00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Four thirty p.m. Wet T-Shirt Contest.

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Five p.m. Justin Champagne.

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00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Six thirty Topless Sacrace.

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Seven p.m. Charlie Farley.

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Eight p.m. Large Bonfire.

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00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Eight thirty p.m. Ladies Oil Wrestling.

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00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Ten p.m. Who T.F. Is Just in Time.

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00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Twelve a.m. Campfire Time.

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00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Sunday, Ball Throwing Contest.

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00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
Oh my god. Let's see what it says.

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00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
There's Wet T-Shirt Contest.

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00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
There's Topless Sacrace.

400
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Ladies Oil Wrestling.

401
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Ball Throwing Contest.

402
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Don't worry about your balls. We'll remain intact.

403
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Whether you call them Rocky Mountain Oysters,

404
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Cowboy Caviar, Tender Groin, or simply Bulls Balls,

405
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,000
we've ordered a metric ton of Bull Balls,

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00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
and they'll be served all weekend long.

407
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,000
Come partake in this Midwest delicacy.

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00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Wow. This is insane. I can't believe it. Let's see. Gosh.

409
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
See what else I can find here.

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00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Tank cabin, ninety-nine bucks for the whole thing.

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00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Electric tent campsite, one hundred and forty-nine dollars.

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00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,000
RV camping, one hundred and ninety-nine.

413
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Electric RV, two ninety-nine.

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00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,000
Electric water RV campsite, three forty-nine.

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00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,000
All right. You have to do the reservations for all of that in advance.

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00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
A weekend pass is twenty-nine bucks.

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00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,000
Grab a shirt. Oh wow. Yeah. Let's see.

418
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:13,000
Come to the Tesco Festival, and you can buy a shirt for thirty-nine bucks.

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00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:18,000
A T-shirt. All right. Well, okay.

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00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:23,000
Anyhow, that's pretty much about it from the Tesco Festival.

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00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:29,000
I just had to share this with you because it's fucking funny.

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00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,000
All right. Someone said they have Tesco Festivals everywhere,

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00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
but I have not seen one until I found this one.

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00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,000
A friend of mine sent it to me, and I was like, huh?

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00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:44,000
So, anyhow, there you go. Be seeing you.

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00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:48,000
A broadcast reporter has been charged with making a prank call

427
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:56,000
using the South Dakota's Governor Christine Noem's personalized cell phone number.

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00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:02,000
I would, it does, from what I can see, this article doesn't explain how this happened.

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00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,000
But isn't that awesome?

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00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:14,000
This person somehow got the Governor of South Dakota's cell phone and made prank calls.

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00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:19,000
The misdemeanor count of making threatening, harassing, or misleading contacts

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00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:25,000
carries a max penalty of one year in prison and two thousand in fines.

433
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Excuse me.

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00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Stanley County Sheriff Brad Rathburn said Austin Goss,

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00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:40,000
who had been fired from his job as a Capitol Bureau reporter for the Dakota News.

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00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:47,000
Court documents said that he is representing himself in court.

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00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:52,000
The recipient of the harassing phone call was identified as,

438
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:56,000
identified in the probable cause statement.

439
00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:01,000
The article does not state how Goss was able to call from the Governor's phone.

440
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,000
And I'm all ears on this one.

441
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:11,000
How do you take the Governor's cell phone and make prank calls with it?

442
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:17,000
I mean, this guy worked for the South Dakota, Dakota News.

443
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,000
So how was he able to get that close to the Governor,

444
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:28,000
to be able to take the Governor's phone and make prank phone calls?

445
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,000
To me that just doesn't jive and it doesn't make any sense.

446
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,000
I think there's a lot more to this story going on.

447
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000
And we'll find out as it goes on.

448
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:41,000
But to me I find that very suspicious that someone could be that close

449
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,000
to the Governor that is a reporter.

450
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Why is that reporter there?

451
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,000
I mean, did the reporter come up and act like he's doing an interview

452
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
and swipe his phone or something?

453
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,000
I mean, there's a lot that it's not talking about in these articles.

454
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,000
It didn't say one word on how the phone was swiped

455
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:03,000
and how long it was swiped for.

456
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:09,000
And did they have to get the phone back from the person, from the reporter?

457
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:14,000
Or did they swipe it and make a couple of prank calls and then put it back?

458
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000
I don't know.

459
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,000
The article doesn't explain a whole lot.

460
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:24,000
And I looked around for it and it's not an article that has been passed around a lot.

461
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,000
There's only a couple of sources for it and that's really about it.

462
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
So I'm just going with what this said.

463
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:37,000
And anyhow, I mean, your guess is good of mine how this reporter got that close to him

464
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,000
and how they were able to make prank phone calls.

465
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,000
And then what happened?

466
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
How did the Governor get his phone back?

467
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,000
Or was it just put back somewhere and acted like he never did?

468
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,000
I don't know, but I find this very peculiar.

469
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:56,000
And remember I said that there's a lot more to this story that we're going to find out.

470
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000
So...

471
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Dayline Germany.

472
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Man rescued from woods after sex games go awry.

473
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:15,000
German police say a 51-year-old man who was left tied up in the woods when a sex game went awry

474
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:20,000
had a lucky escape after a hunter and a cyclist heard a cry for help.

475
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Police say the man was found tied up naked with pantyhose on his head in a deer stand.

476
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:36,000
The deer stand he was tied to was not harmed in the process of taking the dummy down.

477
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Sounds to me like maybe someone had an axe to grind with a naked victim.

478
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,000
Pretty interesting, huh?

479
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Who in the hell would agree to that, anyhow?

480
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000
I mean, you gotta be a work piece of crap.

481
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,000
So then you go, oh yeah, yeah, go ahead, tie me up naked in the woods.

482
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:03,000
So, I mean, wouldn't you be automatically suspicious of that?

483
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:09,000
Like someone comes up to you and says that, hey, you know, hey, you know,

484
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,000
I don't care if you've been seeing them a while or not.

485
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,000
You'd be like, hey, let me put pantyhose over your head

486
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,000
and tie you up naked in the woods as a game.

487
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Kind of how would he deserve being that stupid to fall for it, in my opinion?

488
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:28,000
I just don't see anybody thinking that that's going to be a great idea with a great outcome.

489
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:32,000
So, anyhow, I thought that was a pretty interesting little story

490
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:37,000
and I brought it to you and, you know, whatever, whatever that's worth.

491
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:43,000
So, hey, Al, moral of the story, don't let anyone put pantyhose over your head

492
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,000
and tie you naked to a deer stand in the woods.

493
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:54,000
So you haven't learned anything from this program, there you go.

494
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.

495
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,000
It's strange insults from an alien.

496
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
Real hilarity.

497
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Hey, your chair produces sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that it cannot reproduce it and prove that it was just the chair.

498
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,000
Two ass bags and a box of Cheez-Its will be right back.

499
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Kurt Cobain's broken guitar sells for nearly $600,000.

500
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,000
I'm not joking you.

501
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:27,000
Cobain's black fender strut is covered in scratches and chipped wood.

502
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:32,000
The names of Cobain and his bandmates are misspelled.

503
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000
And I remember that guitar.

504
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000
All their names were misspelled on purpose.

505
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:42,000
And it was just an old piece of shit fender all broken and tore up and everything.

506
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,000
I guess it's one that most of Nevermind was written on.

507
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:52,000
The other very famous huge multi-million selling breakthrough album that pretty much started grunge.

508
00:37:52,000 --> 00:38:00,000
Cobain's black fender, chipped wood, misspelled names.

509
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:06,000
And the car that was once smashed and put back together is no longer playable.

510
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000
That's the thing about me is you can't even play it.

511
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,000
It was smashed and put back together.

512
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:19,000
But on Saturday, the broken guitar was sold at Julian's Auctions for a whopping $596,000.

513
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:23,000
Nearly 10 times more than the opening price.

514
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,000
So you know what? I get it.

515
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:31,000
I mean, a lot of people my age or a little bit younger or maybe a little bit older.

516
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:40,000
That you know, this is the kind of stuff that you really kind of hold on to and just you know what it did.

517
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
And what place in history it has.

518
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,000
And it just, I get it.

519
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:50,000
I mean, I wish I had $600,000 to waste like that.

520
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:54,000
But you know, you know what? You do. God bless you. I get it.

521
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,000
I really understand it.

522
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Items for Kurt Cobain and or Nirvana are becoming more difficult to obtain

523
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:06,000
and are one of the highest in terms of collectability of all bands.

524
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,000
Darren Julian, CEO of Julian's Auctions told NPR.

525
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:15,000
And I know one of the reasons why these things are commanding so much money.

526
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:21,000
And the reason is, is Nirvana is one of these bands that you're never going to have come back.

527
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Because you know, I mean, you're not going to, number one, Kurt Cobain is dead.

528
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000
You're not going to replace him.

529
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,000
He was too iconic to replace in the first place.

530
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,000
And Dave Grohl, he'll never go back to Nirvana.

531
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,000
I mean, he does so well with the Foo Fighters and everything else that he does.

532
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:45,000
I would even want to bother with trying to get somebody different in there to replace Cobain.

533
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000
And it would never work anyhow.

534
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:53,000
So I get how come this is so sought out and how come, you know, people my age or a little bit older,

535
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,000
like I said, are buying stuff like this.

536
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,000
You know, I'd be really honest, if I was a multimillionaire,

537
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000
I would probably look at stuff like this to buy too.

538
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,000
Just have it up on your wall, just to walk over and look at it, touch it,

539
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,000
have your friends come over and explain to them, go, yeah,

540
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:14,000
this is the one that Kurt Cobain smashed on MTV and went crazy and started throwing shit.

541
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:20,000
You know, that to me means something.

542
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,000
That nostalgia means something to me.

543
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:28,000
I mean, you know, at this point in my life, the nostalgia is so important.

544
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:32,000
You know, nostalgia is the only thing that really piques my curiosity anymore.

545
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:37,000
You know, it's the only thing that like really I just can't get enough of is nostalgia.

546
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
And I think every guy my age is the same way.

547
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:45,000
We remember the years of yesteryear and all the stuff that we grew up on.

548
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:50,000
And, you know, it just gives us that feeling.

549
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,000
We go back to it, you know, when you're driving around a car,

550
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000
sipping on a Mickey's Big Mouth or a Malt Duck or something,

551
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:00,000
and listening to this music and just having the time of your life carefree

552
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:06,000
and just loving everything, just enjoying it, a hot summer night.

553
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:13,000
You know, listen to this music in the back on KY-102 or whatever, you know.

554
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:19,000
And I get it, you know, I think you can hear it in my voice how important it is to me

555
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,000
and probably every guy out there, you know.

556
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:26,000
So I get why people are buying this stuff for outrageous prices.

557
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,000
Cobain was known for destroying his multiple Fender guitars.

558
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:33,000
This one was special because it was used to write a majority of the music

559
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,000
on the groundbreaking Nevermind album.

560
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000
I knew it, that's what I thought.

561
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
I remember reading something about that Black Fender and how he destroyed it.

562
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
I think he destroyed it.

563
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:47,000
I'll have to look again, but I think he destroyed it on MTV as a statement,

564
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,000
you know, kind of like, you know, we're the anti-band.

565
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,000
And I don't care how important this guitar is, you know,

566
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
I wrote most of Nevermind on it, but I don't give a shit.

567
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:00,000
I'm going to destroy it because nothing is sacred.

568
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:04,000
And that was part of the 90s whole culture is nothing's sacred,

569
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,000
especially you.

570
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,000
You're not sacred.

571
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
We're all just pieces of garbage.

572
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000
And that is the attitude that they carried.

573
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,000
And unfortunately, that is some of the attitude that took them out too.

574
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:19,000
So anyhow, I get the reason why people want this stuff.

575
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:24,000
And to be quite honest, if I had the capital, I would be collecting the stuff too.

576
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,000
So anyhow, pretty interesting.

577
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Two tool bags and a socket wrench will be right back.

578
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Remember to send all male body part photos to Rob Rad's inbox.

579
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Yeah, you're something that caught my attention the other day.

580
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
Two douche bags, one microphone.

581
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,000
I'm Mark.

582
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,000
I'm Christopher.

583
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,000
Good morning, afternoon, evening, wherever the hell it is.

584
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,000
When you're listening to us.

585
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000
It's two in the morning somewhere.

586
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Yeah, and you're stoned off your ass.

587
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,000
You're questioning life.

588
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000
We got answers, but they're not the right ones.

589
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,000
No.

590
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Matter of fact, whatever we say, do the opposite.

591
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000
That sounds like a good plan.

592
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,000
The polar opposite.

593
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:12,000
I mean, not just kind of opposite, the exact opposite of what we say do.

594
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Yes.

595
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,000
And you'll be fine.

596
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000
We say jump off the cliff, then you better go climb the mountain.

597
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000
That's right.

598
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:25,000
So, all right, Christopher, you have some stuff that you'd like to start talking about.

599
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,000
Sure, yeah.

600
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,000
I have this really bad habit of watching commercials.

601
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,000
I mean, I hate commercials.

602
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,000
I turn the sound down, but they grab my attention sometimes anyway.

603
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000
But this one was interesting.

604
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,000
It was.

605
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,000
That means they're good commercials.

606
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,000
You realize that.

607
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,000
That's true.

608
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,000
Men pay attention to commercials.

609
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,000
Women do not.

610
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,000
My wife always tells me, why don't you just ignore them?

611
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000
No, that's what Val does all the time.

612
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
It's like turn it.

613
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:55,000
I'm like, no, no, no, I like this commercial.

614
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,000
It's like I have this theory.

615
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,000
Yeah.

616
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,000
Jamie, the progressive, is much better than Flo.

617
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Jamie should be the star.

618
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:10,000
But now they have a merging chick that talks everybody into everything by talking them out of it.

619
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,000
Yeah.

620
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000
And she should be the new star.

621
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,000
Yeah.

622
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Yeah.

623
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,000
But they always put Flo in there.

624
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000
It's like, no, she's old, hide.

625
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,000
Get her the fuck out of there.

626
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Yeah.

627
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,000
Yeah.

628
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,000
We see a lot of Flo.

629
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Yeah, we have.

630
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Flo can get the fuck out.

631
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:28,000
And Jamie could like, you know, it was a great character that they developed after Flo.

632
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,000
Yeah.

633
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000
And then now they have this new one.

634
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:36,000
And then I don't know if the black guy's ever going to do anything there.

635
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,000
Just kind of be the ancillary guy that likes to fish.

636
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,000
Yeah.

637
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000
Just kind of like makes a little quip here and there.

638
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Yeah.

639
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
There's only been one commercial that kind of featured him where he was daydreaming during

640
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000
a lecture by Flo.

641
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,000
Yeah.

642
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,000
And everyone wound up in his happy place.

643
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Like, what the hell are you guys doing here?

644
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Yeah.

645
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
So anyhow, I'm sorry.

646
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,000
Back to your commercial.

647
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Okay.

648
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:01,000
Well, the premise of the commercial was they were showing this, oh, I would say 12-year-old

649
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:06,000
girl who was in a public school.

650
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Yes.

651
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:12,000
And everything that could possibly go wrong in your public school was going wrong, with

652
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000
the exception of a school shooter.

653
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,000
So there was a kid kicking.

654
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,000
Give it time.

655
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Yes.

656
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,000
There was a kid kicking your desk.

657
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:25,000
You had a teacher that was flipping out, and you had, let's see, bullies in the hallways,

658
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:30,000
lockers that were stuck, just all the bad things about public school.

659
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:35,000
And then the girl decided she'd had enough, walked out the front door, and then you realize,

660
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:41,000
well, it's commercial for a school at home online service.

661
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:46,000
And it takes you kindergarten through 12th grade, and it's all paid for.

662
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:51,000
I think it's paid for just like public schools are paid for.

663
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:57,000
But it's an at-home alternative to sending your kid to what may be a pretty unsafe environment

664
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,000
in a public school.

665
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:06,000
So that got me thinking, has the time for public schools passed?

666
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Is it time to dismantle the whole public school sending your kids to a giant building with

667
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,000
a bunch of other kids?

668
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000
It just doesn't make sense anymore.

669
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:18,000
I have been along this thought for a long time.

670
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Now, like I've always said, I'm really down the middle.

671
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,000
I lean right on some things left on others.

672
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,000
It depends on what it is.

673
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,000
One thing I lean right on is school choice.

674
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:34,000
So if a school is failing, let it fail.

675
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000
Yeah, I kind of think that too.

676
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:40,000
Yeah, because they're not doing any good anyhow.

677
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Maybe we should make homeschooling the norm.

678
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,000
Yeah.

679
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:50,000
And if you want to send your kid to one of these public schools, well, I guess you can,

680
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,000
but maybe that should be looked on as odd and strange.

681
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,000
My thought is this.

682
00:46:55,000 --> 00:47:00,000
You have to have a very elaborate, in-depth system of testing the kids.

683
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,000
You can't just give them an online course and go, oh, they learned everything.

684
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
It's good.

685
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
Yeah.

686
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:09,000
You have to have someone like go to the house and give them this test and to certify

687
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,000
that they know everything that a high school graduate should know.

688
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Yep.

689
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:19,000
And you don't need to have a building all year round to do those occasional tests.

690
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Yes.

691
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
You can do that in a meeting room at a hotel.

692
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000
And that will get rid of another nuisance.

693
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,000
Yeah.

694
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000
The teacher's union.

695
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,000
There we go.

696
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:28,000
Yeah.

697
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Yeah.

698
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000
And everything associated with public education has been around long enough to be completely

699
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:38,000
corrupt and be full of people who are just milking the system.

700
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,000
Throw it all away.

701
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,000
It's old and done with.

702
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:46,000
Model T was a great idea, but we don't use it anymore.

703
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Coal-powered locomotives don't take our freight and passengers across the country on rails

704
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000
anymore.

705
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,000
It's a great idea.

706
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,000
We don't owe them any kind of lifelong existence.

707
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,000
We dumped their asses as soon as we found a better system.

708
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,000
Yep.

709
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,000
I think public schools, it's time to dump their asses.

710
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Yeah.

711
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,000
And have a better system.

712
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:13,000
You put all these kids together and the idea is, well, they learn to share its diversity

713
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,000
and they learn about other cultures.

714
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000
No, they're not.

715
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,000
They're just kind of trying to survive.

716
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Gangs form, groups that exclude form.

717
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:29,000
You can learn about other cultures and other diversity by just getting out of your house

718
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:33,000
and going downtown or going to any kind of public event.

719
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:37,000
There are enough people different from whoever you want to point to.

720
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:43,000
Just pick a random person in a crowd and you can find 20 people within 10 miles who look

721
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,000
different because we have diversity here.

722
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000
You don't need to force it in a school.

723
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
Just get out and experience life.

724
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,000
Exactly.

725
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:56,000
We look at where we're at right now at the beautiful historic river market district in

726
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,000
Kansas City, Missouri.

727
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Close to the beautiful crystal clear blue waters of the Missouri River.

728
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,000
That's right.

729
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,000
And there's diversity everywhere.

730
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000
And it's beautiful.

731
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,000
It's a beautiful thing.

732
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Yeah.

733
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Everybody just kind of doing what they need to do to get along.

734
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:14,000
People are mainly polite, mainly nice, respectful to each other.

735
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:17,000
And people generally will do this.

736
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000
So it doesn't need to be forced on anybody.

737
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,000
No.

738
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:29,000
This also, to me, goes back to the main, what should be the main focus, parenting.

739
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,000
Yeah.

740
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Parenting.

741
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,000
You don't have parenting in the classroom.

742
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:39,000
You have parenting at home where it should exist, where it should be.

743
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,000
Yeah.

744
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:44,000
You instill into your children what you think is right and wrong.

745
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:49,000
You know, there's these free-range children everywhere.

746
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,000
And it's just insane.

747
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,000
You can't tell who they belong to.

748
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,000
Go into a Walmart one time and try to pick the parents out of the lineup.

749
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,000
It's not easy.

750
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,000
No, no.

751
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:05,000
Just like I saw a father the other day, it's two boys.

752
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,000
Oh, hey, look, there's a freezer room.

753
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Let's go run in it.

754
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Okay, just one time.

755
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,000
It's a public place where people are shopping.

756
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,000
Yeah.

757
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,000
And I'm like, huh?

758
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000
No, my dad would have said no.

759
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,000
No, no, no, no.

760
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Next time you're not coming with me.

761
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,000
And as a matter of fact, we're going to have a talk about this out in the car.

762
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,000
Yeah.

763
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Yeah.

764
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:35,000
So these kids run in front of everybody, an old lady, all these other people, almost slip and fall, almost break all this stuff, all these eggs that are in there and stuff.

765
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,000
And dad's like, hee hee hee.

766
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:41,000
He's like, no, no, you, you are the problem.

767
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,000
Not the children.

768
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
The children don't know better.

769
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
You should.

770
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Do you think it would be a good idea to call out someone like that?

771
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Like, would it do any good for someone to walk up to that guy at that moment and say, you're a bad parent?

772
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,000
Would it do any good, you think?

773
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:02,000
No, because they would be too busy defending themselves whether they were right or wrong.

774
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,000
Yeah.

775
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:08,000
I wonder if it would make any difference in the kids' lives to see someone telling their parents, you're bad at what you do.

776
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,000
That's a good question.

777
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,000
Yeah.

778
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,000
I think it depends on the child.

779
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,000
Yeah.

780
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,000
Because some children, you look at them and they think entitlement all the way.

781
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,000
You can see them, like, I can do this because I'm me.

782
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,000
I've been put on a pedestal.

783
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:26,000
I'm the only boy in the last three generations that I'm loved.

784
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000
I'm revered.

785
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:34,000
Or they've just been told all their lives that what you want to do is just as important as everybody else.

786
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,000
That's the other thing.

787
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Which isn't true because if you want to go crash your airplane and everybody else wants to live, then no, what you want to do isn't as important.

788
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,000
Exactly.

789
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,000
It depends on what you want.

790
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:51,000
You can't just blank it, say, everyone has the exact same full right to have their opinion shouted from the roof of their house.

791
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:56,000
And another problem with this is it's not just the parents, in quotations.

792
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Yeah.

793
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,000
It's not just the snowflakes.

794
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,000
Yeah, it's not just the snowflakes.

795
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:05,000
It's every brand and creed of people that do this.

796
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,000
Yeah.

797
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:11,000
They put their children on these pedestals and they can't do any wrong.

798
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:17,000
And if anyone ever tries to attempt to tell them they are doing wrong, they flip out and just like, all of a sudden the sky is falling.

799
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,000
How dare you say that to my child?

800
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000
How dare you say that to me?

801
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,000
Yeah, their child is their whole identity.

802
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,000
Yes.

803
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:30,000
Which is a horrible burden for your child and a sick way to live your life.

804
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,000
Yes.

805
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:36,000
And also, I see parents that are afraid of their children.

806
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,000
Oh yeah.

807
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:42,000
You know, it's like, oh no, if I try to discipline him, he's just going to be a dick the rest of the day.

808
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,000
He's going to scream and kick animals.

809
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
It's like, okay, then the day is over.

810
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Yeah.

811
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,000
The day is over.

812
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,000
He goes back in the car.

813
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,000
He goes home.

814
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:54,000
He gets in his room without any tablet or anything.

815
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:58,000
And he sits there and he thinks about life for a little while.

816
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:02,000
But people want to have children, but they don't want to raise them.

817
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000
No, they want the hard work part.

818
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:08,000
No, they just want to have their 2.3 like the guy down the road does.

819
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,000
Yeah.

820
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Yeah.

821
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:18,000
I know some parents and I've seen them go through the dilemma of the child's misbehaving.

822
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:24,000
So you say, okay, no video game time, no computer time, no cell phone time.

823
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:31,000
You're cut off from all your media for the rest of the day, which is a punishment for the kid.

824
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:35,000
But then the kid makes the parent's life miserable.

825
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000
Well, I can't watch my show.

826
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,000
I can't play with my phone.

827
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Then what am I going to do?

828
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
I'm bored, entertaining.

829
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Logs to split.

830
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:49,000
The parent would rather do anything rather than spend time with their kid.

831
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,000
Bingo.

832
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Or entertain their kid or come up with something constructive to do together.

833
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:57,000
That is one of the best examples there right now.

834
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,000
That ends most of it right there.

835
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,000
The parent wants to sit the child in front of that electronic.

836
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:07,000
If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk, this is what it would sound like.

837
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,000
That's why you buy those rear seat DVD screens.

838
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Not because you love your kid, but you can't stand to hear your kid's voice while you're driving.

839
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000
It's a protection tax.

840
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:19,000
It's like, here you go, watch this and you'll shut up and I won't have to deal with you.

841
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,000
Yep. Yep.

842
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:29,000
So homeschooling would pretty much force parents to deal with their own children and how they behave more.

843
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Yes.

844
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000
Which is going to only be a good thing.

845
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:43,000
I think it would be, parents would be more intertwined, more emotionally connected.

846
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000
And form support groups.

847
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,000
Yes.

848
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:53,000
You know, mom over here talks with dad over there and says how do you handle it when your 8 year old refuses to whatever.

849
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000
They say, well here's what we've tried.

850
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,000
Here's the pictures of the bloody stub, right?

851
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:10,000
The more I think about it, the less sense it makes to keep pouring money and effort and oh my god,

852
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:16,000
there's so much money into public schools and it's not going to fix it, not going to get better.

853
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:22,000
You've got to learn when to stop beating that dead horse and start riding a camel instead.

854
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Another thing is, what about privatizing it? And here I'll give you an example.

855
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,000
I'm mixed about this because privatizing a lot of things aren't good.

856
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:36,000
Like when they privatized some prisons, all of a sudden the prison rate went way up in that district

857
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
because they needed people in there to make money.

858
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,000
So that's probably not a good idea.

859
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Yeah.

860
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,000
Or at least the crutch doesn't work.

861
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:51,000
So I don't know if this is a good idea because then they'll be trying to stick kids in there no matter what.

862
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,000
They're flunking out. We don't care, pass them anyhow.

863
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:57,000
Because I had that growing up in my school district.

864
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:05,000
Let's say the school district had 2,000 kids, but I think it was much less than that.

865
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:10,000
They went to 1999, all of a sudden there's a lot of them in one day.

866
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:14,000
Older just fell from the sky.

867
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Yeah. Oh god, I think the world's over. There's five or six of them.

868
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:23,000
Oh shit, one just missed us.

869
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:33,000
If they went to 1999 or whatever, 1999, all of a sudden they're in a different classification with much less tax money to work.

870
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000
So they couldn't have that one person dropping out.

871
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:41,000
So they would do whatever they could to get that kid to come in.

872
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:45,000
I watched it firsthand. They're just like, oh, just sit in the room.

873
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:49,000
You'd have that same thing going on. Only worse.

874
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:58,000
Pretty much when you have money as the incentive, that works for the person giving the money and the individual person receiving the money.

875
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
It doesn't work at all for anybody else.

876
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:09,000
So if you privatize the school, then the government will get a break because they don't have to spend the money.

877
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:18,000
The private companies will set up a system which looks good on the surface and makes them the most money as quickly as possible.

878
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:25,000
Yes. And that's all you're going to have. Schools really will become just a place to warehouse your kids.

879
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:28,000
That's right. And pay for the privilege.

880
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,000
Yeah.

881
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:43,000
I mean, think about privatizing as would you want someone to privatize the fire department where you had to pay a monthly subscription

882
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:51,000
and then you had to call and ask if they can please make an appointment for you to come put my house fire out tomorrow or maybe the next week.

883
00:57:51,000 --> 00:58:01,000
Because a private company privatized, they don't have to obey the same rules as a public utility does. They make up their own rules. What is profitable?

884
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:06,000
And then they get hamstrung by other rules also. Governmental rules.

885
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:14,000
It's like, look, we know this handicapped person can't grab a guy and save him, but he's got to be there because he's part of the quota.

886
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
Yeah.

887
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:19,000
So that would probably raise your rates in the first place.

888
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:20,000
Yeah.

889
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:27,000
And then the rates would go up when you have three or four people that couldn't do the job but you have to have them there because of the quota.

890
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:39,000
So, yeah, I'm with you. I think really the best answer is homeschooling. And I think it should be tax credits to do it. That way you have incentive.

891
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:49,000
We don't send people to a big school to learn how to operate their cell phones or navigate the computer screen.

892
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,000
That's right.

893
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:56,000
That's something you learn from other people. You pick up from your friends or parents and you become perfectly well skilled at it.

894
00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:06,000
You know, we don't send people to big schools to learn how to drive a car. People just do. You know, they learn. You know, their parents teach them, other people teach them.

895
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:15,000
We can do the same thing with pretty much the public school curriculum and we also could have a more tailored curriculum.

896
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:26,000
If your kid wants to study religion and he wants to study this religion but not that, then you don't have to take the whole classroom through it.

897
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,000
That one student can study what they want.

898
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:37,000
You could say, you know, your student needs to study a foreign language. Right now it's like French or Spanish. That's kind of it.

899
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:44,000
But why not say any foreign language will do. You're studying on your own. If you want to learn Hindi, do it.

900
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,000
Yeah, do it. And it will be a part of your curriculum.

901
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:53,000
Yeah. You get the same credit as somebody who learned Spanish or somebody who learned German or somebody who learned Japanese.

902
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:59,000
You can target your ethnicity too. You can target what you want.

903
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Let's say that you have relatives. Like, you know, I have relatives in Canada and Greece. The ones in Canada speak English of course, but the ones in Greece, a lot of them don't.

904
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:14,000
But it would be great to be able to speak to them and have that option in school to learn it.

905
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:24,000
I think we would get better educated kids, more involved parents, and probably better young adults as a result.

906
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:32,000
But the sticking point is, can't you imagine a whole country full of parents saying, what? Me give up free time to get involved in my kid's life? Hell no.

907
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,000
That's the biggest issue to me.

908
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,000
I think that is the biggest issue.

909
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:40,000
I think if there is enough of a groundswell, you would probably find a way to get it done.

910
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:49,000
But I think that most people think about it and go, oh wait a minute, uh-uh, who's doing that? Me? No, no, no, no.

911
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:57,000
I have to give up my social media time to learn over spelling words. I can't go out to the bar and drink because we have to study for a book report.

912
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:04,000
I have my podcast every Monday for God's sake. How am I going to get that done with a little fucking Rugrat fucking poking at me?

913
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:09,000
And then think of the social pressure relief when you're not trying to look the part.

914
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:16,000
You go to school and you're trying to physically fit in the way you look, the way you act, the way you dress, the way you speak.

915
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:22,000
None of that would matter if you're not going to this giant public school where you can be judged on all these things.

916
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:25,000
We could be giving them the Indian sunburns and shit going in the nerd.

917
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Yeah, I mean that's what big brothers are for, isn't it?

918
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, nerdical pants.

919
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,000
I think we should say Native American sunburns.

920
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Oh, I'm sorry, Native American sunburns. And then have the wet towels and smack it on the ass with it until it bleeds.

921
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Good times. Good times.

922
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,000
Except when you're the littlest one.

923
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:47,000
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Thank God I was never the littlest one.

924
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,000
Yeah.

925
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,000
Oh, yeah.

926
01:01:51,000 --> 01:02:05,000
That was my thought on public schools.

927
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:09,000
Hey, where do they go? Where are the douchebags?

928
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:14,000
Oh my God, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh, geez.

929
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:18,000
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.

930
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:32,000
Man, that smells.