Live from the historic Little Market District of downtown Kansas City, Missouri,
from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Waters of the Missouri River,
it is the Moosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.
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Two douchebags and a microphone, the number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee-slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien. Real hilarity.
May, your five-year-old neighbor have all their violin lessons.
Durn all of your hangovers.
Be ready at 1044. Okay, whenever you're ready, I'm ready.
Alrighty.
I just went ahead and cranked it up here. I'm gonna shorten out the scale a little bit.
Alright, so it looks like we're ready to go.
Okay, two douchebags and a microphone.
We are at the Filthy Bean in Nashville, partner.
Yes, and we made the trip down here. It's a lovely day in Nashville.
Our table seems to rock a little bit. Can you hear this?
It does, doesn't it?
Yeah, we're gonna have to stick something under one of the table legs.
This just means that we're just going to have to annoy people.
Yeah.
We could put something under here.
If somebody's in our booth, we didn't want to kick them out.
Yeah.
We're nice that way.
It's like, you know what? If they weren't looking at a horrible plaque, we didn't even get on them.
No.
Well, I guess it's not technically our booth.
Technically, I guess it's not.
Alright, well whatever.
You want to start with something funny?
Yeah, yeah.
Remember in a recent podcast, I told you how NPR was upset with Twitter because they were labeled as state-affiliated radio,
which they are because they take money from the government.
And also, like you said, the reactions of them when you don't call them out, not like I'm a huge U.N. fan.
Yeah.
When they called him out, their reaction would tell me like they have something to hide.
Yeah, yeah.
And I mean, it's been their secret anyhow.
I mean, they're paid by the government to come up with these fucking shows and they're putting it in there.
Yeah, but in the course of their argument with Elon Musk over their Twitter label, NPR let it slip that they only take less than 1%
of their overall funding is from the government.
I'd like to see what they count as funding.
All their pledge drives and corporate donations and all that kind of stuff.
So they were telling Twitter, we're not state-affiliated.
We get less than 1% of our money from the government.
And then the reaction of the public was, then why do you complain so much when Congress talks about taking away your funding?
You say, oh, it would cripple us.
It would run us out of business.
We couldn't serve. Really?
Because you just told us it was less than 1%.
It's funny how it changes depending on how they want to use it.
Oh, you're going to take our money away?
Oh, it's so important.
It's vital.
Oh, you're calling a state-affiliated?
That money means nothing to us.
Yeah, 1%.
If I would say that it was 1%, I'd tell the government, no, we don't need money because we're not the ones who put up with those half-batches.
Yeah, but NPR, they said, no, instead we're going to suspend all 52 of our NPR Twitter accounts, the ones that end with an at NPR.
And again, stupid.
Yeah, and Elon Musk's response was basically, OK.
So is there anything else now? OK, there's a door.
Yep.
Well, here's the recent funny development.
Elon Musk contacted NPR and said, so are you guys going to go back to using your Twitter account or can I go ahead and assign the at NPR to another business if they want to?
NPR's reaction was to basically fall down and hold their head and scream, ow, you hurt me, you hurt me.
They immediately lashed out and said Elon Musk was threatening them.
Threatening them?
I don't think I was threatening them.
I saw no threat in there.
And then they also complained that he was using unreasonable pressure.
What a bunch of fools.
I know.
All he said was, OK, if you're really done, then I can reuse this tag.
But NPR was like, oh, take me.
My take on that is this right here.
Maybe you're glad to handle the fucking problem by the government so long that they can't take any of the criticism or point it out.
Yeah, NPR must be run by a bunch of participation trophy morons.
It is.
Let's see Tudor's show.
No, you can't really stand out.
Let's be a pompous fucking political act.
You're a righteous asshole.
Yeah.
But also what I enjoy about this is NPR very publicly claimed that they were being harassed, threatened, manipulated, undue pressure from Elon Musk and Twitter.
But the public's reaction is, what a bunch of crybabies you are.
They are.
They have done nothing but severely damage their reputation in the minds of all but their most hardcore fanatics.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
I mean, unless you're one of the sheep that blindly listen to that.
Worship the altar of NPR.
Yeah.
You can look at this on the surface and go, oh my god, these guys are crazy.
They are.
They're just, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, if I was affiliated with them right now, I wouldn't be anymore.
No.
I'm like, you know what, you guys are on your own because of...
Yeah.
For a large degree, the businesses and corporations that donate to them do it because it's a tax write-off.
Yes.
So they're going to continue to do it until they find a more attractive tax write-off.
Because if they make it embarrassing to be seen donating to NPR, they're going to quit.
And right now, NPR is doing nothing but embarrassing themselves.
Yes, they are.
I'm loving every second of it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I remember, you remember their show, The Prairie Home Companion?
It was this comedy, variety, political satire show.
Yeah.
Garrison Keeler was the host.
Yeah.
I heard it a number of times.
It was one of the stations I could reliably get while I was at work.
Yeah.
But the show was supposed to be sketch comedy, some musical performances, and some other
little things.
But it quickly became a completely liberal leftist platform for propaganda.
Yeah, sure.
And they started talking about stolen elections.
You know, this is back when Gore was defeated.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
George W. won.
Yes.
And then the Democrats were the ones talking about stolen elections.
That was the exact term they used.
Yeah, yeah, this whole thing did not start with fun.
No, no, the Democrats did it in 2000.
Yeah.
Anyway, so they had this show.
So I'm losing this one.
Yeah, absolutely.
So they had this Prairie Home Companion show.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was, you know, it was everyone's darling, and everyone talked about it as if it was
the greatest thing ever.
Come to find out the main head guy behind it, the host and writer Garrison Keeler, was
raping coworkers at work.
Yes.
I remember that.
And you should have seen all the people at NPR twisting and bending and contorting themselves
in some kind of way to where they could still love on Garrison Keeler and the show.
I remember that.
They were sickening.
Yeah.
And they had to find some way to excuse it, explain it away.
The same thing when Al Franken pumped that woman on the airplane.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And he was a liberal comic and comic writer, and then he became a member of Congress.
And then he was shown to be a sexual pervert, too.
And all the liberals just flocked to his defense.
And it was sickening to watch.
But when NPR started loving all over Garrison Keeler in the midst of all the revelations
of his behavior, that really, really turned me off.
That was it for me.
Yeah.
That was it for me.
Yeah.
Well, I never was on board with him.
I mean.
I was to a degree because they could, you know, every now and then they'd play stuff that
you couldn't hear anyone else.
There was like a little comedy series called The Adventures of Ruby who wrote a galactic
gum shoe.
Yeah.
I couldn't hear it anywhere else but on NPR.
So it was useful for some things.
Believe it or not, I have the box set of Ruby, the galactic gum shoe, and home.
I do, too.
Oh, that's funny.
I actually had a gay lead from Ned's girlfriend, actually.
She's one to turn me on to.
OK.
Yeah.
So I was like, well, this shit's good.
And she's like, now it's on his show, Garrison.
Yeah.
And I was like, well, I'm going to go to the theater.
And I was like, I'm going to go to the theater.
And I was like, I'm going to go to a theater.
It wasn't part of Inferi Home Companion.
It was just on the same radio station.
Yeah.
So I think Garrison on South Park is named after him.
You're right.
Mr. Garrison.
I remember reading something about that because they thought he was such a dickball.
You know, we're going to make a real douchey character in his name.
I love it.
Yeah.
The one thing that really irritated me about Garrison Keeler is he leaned in really close
to the microphone so you could hear all of his breathing and wheezing.
Yeah.
It's like, don't go down there.
And you could hear the snot whistling in his nose.
And all the nose hairs flapping around.
It's like, you know, he's like, I'm going to go to the theater.
And he's like, I'm going to go to the theater.
And you could hear the snot whistling in his nose and all the nose hairs flapping around.
It's like, get away from the microphone.
What Walter did before he passed away, he did a show on KCY.
Yes.
And you can hear his gum flap and all that stuff.
You can hear his dentures slopping around.
Yeah.
His dentures slopping around and his marble mouth.
I mean, I love Walter Dean.
He was great.
But man, he shouldn't have been on the air.
Yeah.
The local NPR affiliate, KCY, kept him on air way longer than they should.
They were milking his name for ratings.
And the guy was just mentally gone.
Yeah.
And his gum flapping and his sparing the speech was horrible.
He made biting look like a fucking doctor.
Like an auctioneer.
Yeah.
They had a series of young women who would, you know,
host the show with him and kind of try to keep him on track.
Yes.
But it wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair because it exposed him worse.
Yes.
Who do you expect?
And a microphone.
Mark?
Topher.
All right.
You said something about Dwayne The Rock Johnson being a lawsuit?
Yes.
There's a $3 billion lawsuit naming Dwayne The Rock Johnson, among others.
It's, let me find this woman's name again so I don't mispronounce it.
Former TNA and WWE wrestler Tranesha Biggers, who went by the ring name Raka Khan.
She recently filed the court documents necessary to move forward with this $3 billion lawsuit.
She claims Dwayne Johnson and his business partner, Danny Garcia,
made plans to kidnap her and her children in 2008.
Made plans?
Yes.
But didn't do it.
She alleges that Johnson and Garcia sent three men who forcibly removed her from her house in Tampa, Florida.
She claims she was taken to a hotel in Miami, Florida and abused both physically and mentally while being confined there.
She alleges both Johnson and Garcia threatened to harm her if she did not obey their demands.
And then she's listed a bunch of other people that are complicit in this lawsuit.
Here's everyone else she's blaming.
The state of Texas.
The El Paso Child Protective Services.
The Las Cruces New Mexico Police Department.
The New York Police Department.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
These are all people she says are the bad guys.
New York ACS.
I'm not sure what ACS stands for.
Some New Mount Children Services.
Omega Psi Phi Fraternity.
For some reason.
Shirley Police Department.
The Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity.
Suffolk County, New York.
The Tower County.
The Bank of America.
Home Depot.
And the FBI.
And the FBI, okay.
I want everyone else, I want everyone to win except for Bank of America.
I want them to be down live.
Yeah, there we go.
Okay, how quick do you think this gets thrown out of court?
I give it two weeks.
Pretty quick, yeah.
In a most recent statement, Johnson and Garcia's counsel released a statement saying this is just, none of it's true.
It's just completely crazy.
Wow.
However, Disney has severed ties with Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
You know, Johnson needs to counter-sit.
Not that he'll get anything, but he needs to counter-sit.
He was going to be in the Moana live-action movie coming out.
And they canceled him.
They canceled him.
Disney has, in my opinion, one of the worst, most crooked, most creepiest companies corporations around.
They're worried about his reputation.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck them.
Isn't this nuts?
Yeah.
This is a crazy culture. This can't survive long.
I mean, there's got to be a reset.
Someone needs to come and unplug in the United States and plug us back in again.
Absolutely.
I mean, this is just too much.
It's just like, you know, 40% of everything we're going our way down here, 40% of everything is medication.
Yeah.
So take your prices and inflation.
It's not worth anything by 40% if you didn't have all this medication going on.
It's bullshit.
Well, Disney is losing their status as a self-governing entity.
Yes, I know.
They basically had all the rights and autonomy of a county.
Yeah.
And I have to admit, I find this funny.
DeSantis said, well, we'll just take that away from you.
And Disney said, OK, but that puts you on the hook for everything we're about going to have to pay,
which is over a billion dollars just right up front.
So the Florida lawmakers were clever enough.
They went and rewrote the law on how they were going to strip them, which left Disney with all of their debt,
but took away a lot of their autonomy.
And now the governor says who sits on the board governing.
The governor is Rick Scott, right?
The governor is DeSantis.
Oh, DeSantis.
Rick Scott used to be the governor.
Yeah.
OK, now DeSantis is.
I'm sorry.
I got you real good.
I thought you were talking about the state senators and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
But yeah, so DeSantis has got his guys on the board giving control.
Well, it doesn't surprise me.
They probably had the whole thing planned out, they said.
I wonder, is Disney seriously thinking about moving to another state?
Well, I don't know if they really can.
They could, but don't get me wrong.
But I think Orlando is just so famous for that whole area.
The town is just right up the road.
The beaches aren't too far.
It's so iconically merged with Florida, but you know, stranger things have happened.
I mean, yeah, they could.
Will they? I don't think so.
I think it's something they've threatened, but I don't think they seriously could do it.
I think they'll find the middle ground somewhere.
I think they'll go back to DeSantis and say, look,
how about if we talk this over and we stay here?
If not, are you going to force us to spend all that money to leave?
It's a very good possibility.
Let's talk about this and let's come up with a reasonable solution instead of fighting each other.
And the problem is that they're so busy throwing little barbs in each other.
Yeah, trying to make political gains.
Trying to make cheap headlines.
Yeah.
You know, so they both need to lay off each other.
Yeah, I think so.
You know, like I said, it's not like I'm a huge fan of either.
No, no.
And I'm saying this, that they need to find a middle ground because they do not need to move business.
Business is where it needs to be. That's where it's been there forever.
F-Cut Center, all that.
You're going to move every bit of that after all the money you put in.
No, they would just have to build new somewhere else.
Where would all those little fake business plans be?
Really?
Where would they go?
Yeah, I think I'd agree that Disney needs a lot more regulation and oversight to where they're just like any other business.
I would agree too.
Because I don't think Disney needs any more say in the state's business than the mom and pop market on the corner.
Neither one of them should have anything to say other than what a normal voter would have.
I agree. I agree.
So I'm all in favor of Disney losing some of its special privileges.
So am I. Yep.
Speaking of Florida, I got a story that was pretty interesting.
Alright.
You know the Florida Keys, right?
Love them. Love the Florida Keys.
How they do beautiful land.
I love the fact that you can touch the Gulf of Mexico.
And the Atlantic Ocean.
The Atlantic Ocean. All in a matter of like five minutes.
Yep.
All you got to do is pass the highway. It depends on how busy your highway is.
Well, no, you can go under the bridge.
You can go under the bridge and you're right there where they meet.
Yeah, I'll use that.
You can eat. They can eat.
And then I'll go.
Did you pee in the water?
No, I didn't have swim trunks and we were headed to Key West.
And we were already late for a place there.
And it was like, you know, I would love to pee in the water.
But then guess which way. If you want to go.
My guess is it would end up in the Gulf.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Well, I've peed in both Mexico and the Atlantic.
So have I.
Not the Pacific because that's quite a bit colder.
And you kind of lose your...
Oh, nice.
How many points I get for that?
Lots.
Yeah, you can't pee in the Pacific all that well because it's really cold and things tend to shrivel.
I've peed in the Pacific too.
Let's see. The Red Sea gets the most points.
Because it was part of my most.
That's true.
If you don't pee in that, I think it's like a hundred points.
I would think so.
Of course, the regular 30. You get the 30 and then the 100 from your cell phone.
So right there, you go to the Red Sea and test it.
It's 130 points right there.
And you can win any match up really easy.
Yeah.
And I hear recently they've started...
Great Lakes, Great Lakes, New York, Canada.
No.
Because at Peas at Night Michigan, they said that.
No. And then I've heard that Utah is asking people to come and pee in the Great Salt Lake because it's dry.
It's dry enough.
So they're paying people $5 to come urinate in the lake.
You heard the expression, sand in your vagina?
Imagine salt in your vagina.
Oh, man.
Here's what I hate about drinking in the lake.
Yeah.
Okay, I gotta make it in line. I'm gonna take a piss.
Once flat, you can never get rid of that salt passage guy.
No, it's ruined.
Yeah.
Oh, but anyway.
They found this is a...
Have you ever been to Dry Creek, dude?
No.
Really cool place. We've been there a couple years ago.
It is an old fort.
And it is the southernmost key.
And it's a national park.
It's beautiful. It's a very unique area.
And they have a beach there, but they also have an old fort there that you can walk in.
Yeah, neat.
Anyway, we took a catamaran there.
I built that catamaran because it's a couple hours away.
It's a little ways away.
So you can actually see Cuba from there.
That's how far down it is.
I went down to the Dry Creek National Park.
It also was an old army fort.
The hospital had been used to house patients with yellow feet.
Oh, okay.
And that's how come it's a quarantine hospital.
Yeah.
The cemetery was found right next to the hospital.
More than 100 years, it stuck in Joe Quartz Bar, the national park,
and it sealed the quarantine hospital and cemetery.
A student at the University of Miami made the discovery.
One of the graves was identified as John Greer, a laborer, according to the headstone.
He passed away November 5, 1861 from presumably yellow feet.
Okay, 1861.
So probably a railroad worker at that point.
Yeah, he was.
Yeah, exactly.
Because they have the railroads going down to the cemetery.
Yeah.
I think one of the big things was to bring it up on the railroad and the bank.
And it was a way to, I mean, it was a quicker port.
I mean, they could offload on one of the keys and then run it up by rail.
They didn't have to sail all the way up to like Charleston.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
So.
When you said yellow fever, I thought you were going to say like early 1900s
during the digging of the Panama Canal.
Oh, that was back then.
Because that would be a convenient place because you go from Panama
right across the Gulf to the Keys and drop off all your patients with yellow fever.
I'm sure that was probably true there.
Yeah, and that would have been like 1903 or something.
Yellow fever was just brought up because that's what this hospital was.
It was a quarantine hospital for people with yellow fever.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah, it is.
And I couldn't get pictures of it.
I mean, they had some pictures.
It's really interesting because most of the headstones were going.
Oh yeah, he's underwater.
Yeah, I think it's going to take a long time to figure out how many bodies were in there.
Yeah.
And I doubt they're going to do anything about it.
I mean, why would they?
They're still in their grave.
Yeah, I think at this point you just leave them where they are
and just consider them to be buried.
Yeah, and now the hospital, I don't know if they plan on doing anything with that.
I guess they leave it like it is.
And I'll tell you what's going to happen is you're going to have scuba.
Oh yeah.
And snorkels where there's safe.
See the old hospital, yellow fever, yay!
It's probably pretty safe.
I mean, all those years under all that salt water,
I don't think anything has survived to infect anything.
I got it, I got it.
So you know that's just going to be like,
anytime we discover a pirate ship, give it a happy ear.
All the destinations, sunken treasure, sunken pirate ship,
I mean, it doesn't matter what it does,
in fact, it wouldn't go to Orlando, the Orlando area, Miami, Fort Myers.
There's always a sunken pirate ship somewhere.
People love to dive on wrecks and many things.
Actually, the most famous one that I know about is Swing.
Oh yeah.
Van Kamen is a very famous ship there.
And it's kind of hard to get about that.
Some say it's a pirate ship, some say no, it's a sea pirate ship,
some say yeah, it's someone with a nice ship that it's sunken.
The main thing about it is it is right off the continental shelf.
Oh wow.
Those islands there, the continental shelf comes up like a mountain.
And that's the island.
When you get up there to that ship, it's right on the edge.
So one side of the ship is nothing.
Wow.
The other side is brown underwater.
Yeah.
Wow.
Just landed right there on the nice edge.
Yeah, look at this, it's pretty interesting.
Of course, because this is the last continental shelf for a while,
because of the location, it's probably all the way to Puerto Rico maybe.
Well, there's probably little islands in between, but anyhow,
it's pretty interesting because that's it.
I mean, one side is nothing, thousands of people down.
The other side is under 15.
Yeah.
And if it sunk just a little bit farther one direction,
you would have never been able to see that.
Yeah, it would have been gone, gone, gone.
Crazy, actually.
So anyhow, yeah, that's pretty interesting.
And I'm monitoring this story on my favorites because I want to find out
if they actually do some exploring in this hospital
and find out a little bit more about it.
The thing it did not explain is how they found out
it was a hospital for Yellow Feet.
Maybe some sort of a record or something about the proximity of it.
And maybe at one point people knew about it and then it just got forgotten
and then someone rehashes it.
When the student saw it, he was probably like,
hey, there's a huge structure under there with a cemetery next to it.
And then they probably looked at the records and go,
oh yeah, that was the Yellow Feet hospital.
Yeah, yeah, they could find maps of the time and say,
oh, okay, this is what was here.
Yeah, yeah, put it on an island.
Yeah, so anyway.
Wow, that reminded me, during the early days of the AIDS outbreak,
there was serious talk about quarantining everybody with AIDS to an island.
Yeah, because they were afraid, like when COVID first hit,
they thought that 80% of the population was going to black out.
They had no idea what they were looking for, that's what it was.
And they didn't know exactly how it was transmitted or how infectious and contagious it was.
And yeah, I remember the island of Madagascar off the coast of Africa
being considered as a place to go quarantine everybody on the planet.
Yeah, I remember that too.
I remember a lot of people like, do it, before they kill us all.
I remember other people like, are you guys crazy?
There's never been a time in history where the good guys have been the ones warehousing people.
It's always the bad guys warehousing people.
Because it just doesn't work.
Whatever you're trying to get out of it, it's going to be bad news.
It's going to be bad news, yeah.
Thinking of warehousing, I think this is kind of our way, kind of not.
I'm stretching a little bit.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you know that it did not get national distribution until 1986?
I remember there was a big deal about people driving to Colorado to get tours
and trying not to get caught by the Kansas Highway Patrol.
Yeah, because it was considered good later.
As a matter of fact, Smokey and the Bandit
Yep, the movie.
That was where their core story came from and the guy said so.
He said, yeah, it was the core story.
Some people called it the Gold Rush.
Yeah, I remember that.
And it turned out to be crappy beer.
It was normal beer, but it was the fact that you couldn't get it.
Just tell somebody that you can't have it, or they want it.
Yeah, if you like water, it was fucking, I don't know.
Bear pissing.
Bear pissing, there you go.
So Coors Banquet beer did not get national distribution until 1986,
which is why it was, in the 1970s, Coors was not actually licensed to sell in Missouri.
So you could go next door to Kansas,
and you couldn't get in here, and I remember people were pissed
because they would get 3-2 beer.
Yeah, it was 3-2 Coors and they wanted the 5-0 Coors.
The 5-0, if I remember correctly, you had to go, for whatever reason,
to Colorado to get the 5-0.
You could get the 3-2 in Kansas.
It was sold in Kansas, the conference area.
The reason was Coors was not characterized like other beers.
Because it wasn't characterized, the shipping life on it was not short.
You had to get in here within a certain amount of time,
the other thing to sell, the cutoff was the end of the universe.
They couldn't have Missouri, maybe they could have gotten it in Kansas City, Missouri,
but they didn't want to have another state and only go to the Eastern side.
So it was ice-free, so the product had a very short shelf life.
So when they did it here, it had to be sold quickly.
Which it usually was.
Yeah, it usually was.
And then the beer quickly became a holders' beer.
Famous holders included Gerald Ford,
it might be Eisenhower, Eisenhower makes sense,
because Eisenhower is from Kansas.
I put in a bunch of railing and stuff at his museum in Algol.
And he loved Kansas because one of his most famous quotes is,
the most proudest thing I can say is, I am from Albany, Kansas.
He loved it here.
And very good president too.
And very good general.
He's the one that warned us about the military industrial complex.
So he obviously knew what he was talking about.
Yeah.
Okay, Dwight D. Eisenhower and Paul Newman was a hoarder.
You see what got me was, this stuff had a limited shelf life.
Yeah, that's what doesn't make sense.
You hang on to it long enough and it just turns even worse.
I think what they meant was to grab as much as they could.
When they could, they didn't rank in an appropriate amount of time.
How big a make you kept them in the heavy?
No, they probably meant bought in full.
And that's when the term pissy beer came from.
It was coarse.
Because if you had it sit for too long, it would have that pissy, like, skunk.
Skunk beer is another, I've heard it called pissy beer, I've heard it called skunk beer.
That's where it came from.
At least as far as I know.
So we go, you got coarse, better smell it.
Yeah, take a whiff before you take a swig.
And here's my own thing, I remember a big instance locally when I was in New York Town.
KC Local Restaurants and Pez are going into Kansas and bringing over food to be secretly sold.
Wow.
This is true.
Because I remember this.
There was the beer you get from out back in the car.
And there's the beer you got there from the town.
The beer you got out back from the town, like Jimmy's Dickens, it might have been one of mine up there.
That's one of the places I remember when I was young.
And I remember there being a couple of them because they were getting the booze out of it.
And they're like, we're not doing this.
That coarse out there is for us, it's not for anybody else.
We're not selling it to anybody.
It's not in the business, it's not in the building, it's out there.
So how are you going to prove that this beer that's in someone's schooner or whatever is coarse?
Yeah.
So if they didn't catch them red handed, they didn't have cameras back then.
They didn't catch them red handed.
It's like, this is Miller in it, asshole.
Look, we got a Miller tap right there.
Yeah, so anyhow, the beer is to be secretly sold.
The dealer that mostly kept the vehicles and a runner would grab the frosted mug, fill it out back, and be given to the customer.
The customer would be down there.
So someone would walk in and give them a secret, whatever, a secret code or whatever and go, hey, 32 Eagle.
They'd be right back.
Then they have a runner go get a frosted mug for it out there, bring it in, and act like they just got it for back.
Smokey and the Bandit movie was of course written about forestry wagons around the Casey Metro area.
To me, this is fascinating because it's such a huge piece of history.
But really, people don't know that much about it.
And Smokey and the Bandit, of course, was pretty much written off of that forest story.
It was deviated a lot, of course, because you had a monkey tonight.
No, that was Any Which Way at least.
Oh, that's right.
Smokey and the Bandit.
That was Burt Reynolds, Sally Fields, Jackie Gleason, The Runaway Bride.
Jackie Gleason.
They had The Runaway Bride.
Oh, hey, there's Rick.
Does he know we stole his chocolates from the farmland?
I don't think he does.
You know, they leave us a box of chocolates because he's such a freak with a toy or whatever.
And we ate them all.
He loves those chocolates and he told us, he said, those fucking chocolates are mine.
And you know what we're going to do tomorrow morning?
We're going to eat them too.
And the next morning?
We're going to eat them too and then we're going to go back.
He's going to have to come over and physically stop us.
What we're going to tell him is, before we leave, and look, now this podcast probably will be dropped on him.
Until we leave, we'll just tell him, when we leave, we'll bring them back.
We'll bring all three boxes.
And then we'll take them up on the plate and tell him we forgot them.
Until he hears them.
Those chocolates are mine.
I was not even going to come in.
Only thing is, if you really see them, you can go to sleep.
You know, and let's say you roll around on that box now.
Yeah, you can really think that it's just a bag of chocolate.
You can feel pretty much, yeah.
Whip the job.
Come here now.
Two Shirley Temples and a bottle of scotch.
We'll be right back.
Oh shit.
What's that over there?
Oh no.
It's the island of horrible jokes.
Ugh.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym.
She didn't show up.
I guess we're not going to work out.
Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah.
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Hi, as I told you earlier at the house, we're getting ready to leave.
I got a phone call from a free vacation guy.
They're very pesky and they want money before you get off the phone, which is not an option.
They're so tenacious.
They're like trying to wipe slug slime off you.
After they call, you have to shower for an hour and a half.
Finally, we're scrubbing bubbles.
This is just yesterday morning.
I get a call about a vacation, especially priced at five different exotic locations.
All we have to do is listen to a 40 minute cell on the condo's rent or sell.
I know people who went, I've never done that because I don't want to sit there and listen
to anyone.
They're very tenacious.
After you sell, sell, sell, they really won't let you go after 40 minutes.
They say they do, but it's usually like two hours before they finally let you out of their
hands and go to the toilet.
It's just enough to where you could run.
Anyhow, he said all we have to do is listen to a 40 minute cell on the condo.
The guy keeps hammering out about meeting the smart closet and I keep the offer.
I kept trying to get off the phone.
I need to get a deposit from you right now so I can hold this offer for you.
I said, no, you can just call back.
No, no, no, I need to get, no, you can just call back.
I told him, I said, well, where's your website?
I'll pay it there.
I said, I don't know, I need credit for this.
You can't go to the website, I won't get credit.
I said, what do I care?
I'm really dicking with this guy at this time because I didn't dare.
He was pissing me off so bad.
I told him that I could not deposit the future offer.
I told him that I could not make that kind of decision without my wife.
So he kind of listened to that but he was still like, well, I'm sure she'd understand.
And then he said something about, well, we could maybe bring your money back.
I said, no, that's not possible.
I said, I'm not going to go through all the hoops and mishaps and all that to get my money back.
I said, look, I said, I wasn't born yesterday.
Why don't you get this money from over in Roachley Hospital and get back?
And I said, what if this is my wife's offer over here?
They don't like them, they have to know.
So I told my wife that she was in the hospital because the ad said, well, you can be asked now.
That's the way it is in the hospital.
She asked me, I was going to go to the hospital.
This really pissed me off so bad, I quickly came up with 7PM.
I knew I was going to do something.
I know 7PM. 7PM I should be open.
I'll ask her that.
Okay.
Many dicks wouldn't have seen me.
I'm sure you can't put it in the closet.
Yes, I'm sure.
So I called you at the same number, yeah, asked for a fucking movie or something.
Whatever.
It's around 7PM that evening, sure enough.
I get a call from the law, alright?
So I actually got home what I was going to say.
I was just like, oh shit, I forgot about this.
Then I saw the number.
I remember that number, like 819.
I remember.
So I answered, I quickly threw out of my ass, he says, Mark, he's not here right now.
So my voice is very identified.
Well, I could never do phone calls because people go, Mark, shut up.
Mark, do you want me to call your mom?
I got her on speed dial, you fucking movie.
No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'll get off the phone.
So he knew it was me, but he couldn't prove it.
So the guy seems to be cautious, he's not sold on it, you know, of just not being me.
I didn't say, hang on, I think he just pulled in the driveway because he started getting a little frigid.
You know what, I was like, I got to do something with this motherfucker because he's bothering the piss out of me
and wasting my time so bad and will not take no good answers.
So I told him to please hold.
I fumbled around and opened and closed the door after about five minutes.
So then when I slammed the door shut, I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, something.
And then I screamed, no, no way, I'm not buying from the ass whore.
No fucking way.
That guy's a douchebag and I fucking hate him.
Hang up on the net.
So then me, I go back to the phone and I tell him, Mark will call him back.
I mean, Mark will maybe call back, he's a little busy right now.
So he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And then I mentioned I'm his cousin in law and I'm interested in the vacation.
And I thought he was going to hang up on me right then.
But he didn't.
He's like, oh yeah, so he just sees an opening.
He's got such a predator.
He's got to salvage something out of this.
Yeah.
I was like, OK.
Then I told him that I can't make the call without my wife's blessing and she's in the hospital.
He yelled at me in a foreign language and hung up.
I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah.
He slammed as much as he could slam himself.
Oh my gosh.
I remember having a similar to your thing about wanting a deposit.
It's like, well, you know, you really need to jump on this now to, you know, because these might be all gone.
You might miss out.
And I remember telling the guy, that's OK.
If I miss out, I don't care that much.
And it just messed with his mind.
That's it.
What I tell him is I'm not really thrilled about making the call.
It's like before, you know, people told me about these big things.
I'm like, dude, I just got back from being out of town and I'm not getting out.
The last thing I want to do is think about going out of town.
I really don't care what you offer.
Yeah.
But this is in Aruba.
I've been there.
Loving it.
And you're where I want to be right now where I'm at now.
But you're fucking bothering me.
Yeah.
I had a customer on one of my mail routes trying to sell me her time share.
And it was down.
Yeah.
It was down on the Ozarks.
And she approached it as first she asked, are you married?
And I said, yeah.
She said, well, you want to see my dick?
She said, you need to buy this time share.
Your wife would love this vacation.
Oh, there's all these places to shop down there.
There's just all the time to shopping.
Yeah.
And I said, yeah, my wife doesn't like to shop.
Every woman likes to shop.
I said, she doesn't.
She kept going on and on about it.
No, this is my first wife.
Oh, the devil?
Yeah.
But the little backstory on this woman, she was...
That was me saying it, not Christopher.
That was me.
At the time, I'd say she was probably mid-60s, but doing everything possible to look like
she was still in her 20s.
Oh, one of those.
Former flight attendant, married a wealthy guy.
And then he divorced her and moved out.
And she was left with this very expensive, very large house.
There's, I forget the name of it.
How did you choose for the time share to her?
She probably got it and divorced.
I think she would have liked it.
Her husband said, I don't want that, but...
Who knows?
Oh, well, okay.
So she or she was in this big house all by herself.
She acted like the kind of person who got through life on her looks all of her life.
And now they were gone and she was alone and she was slowly going stir crazy in this big
house.
And she couldn't figure out why she didn't have some rich man there to take care of her
in.
And she got progressively more odd.
I don't think she was really crazy, but she was starting to kind of lose touch a little
bit.
And she kept coming out and hammering me about this time share.
And then she started getting flirty at one point.
It's like, oh my God, is this how you've done everything in your life?
You just imply that you'll have sex with the guy.
That's what she reverted to.
Just like a guy that's got an androgyl.
He might yell at you a little bit, but he's eventually been a result of violence because
that's what his only thing that's known to him.
This is no different.
I mean, only the court is.
I can give him a laugh.
All I gotta do is just turn on the court and get started.
I didn't want to do it, but he's making me do it.
Yeah.
It just kind of horrified me.
It's like, she knows I'm married.
She's got a pregosa spring style around her.
Sure.
I got the same one.
No, I can't believe it.
She knows I was married.
She knew I was married.
There was at least a 30-year age gap.
She had every opportunity to blackmail and extort me after the fact.
Call my boss and say I broke in and forced myself on her.
Call my wife and say your husband's cheating with me.
She was a crazy person.
I bet you were worried about her doing that to her too.
Yeah, I was thinking I got to distance myself somehow or she's just going to start making
accusations anyway.
Yeah, that's where she's going to reserve me because that's the only thing she's had
in her life.
I kind of lucked out in a way because another thing she kept complaining about was the fact
that she got her mail at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
My friend gets her mail at 10 in the morning.
I said, well, you're at the end of my route.
I have to start at this spot and by the time I get here it's the end of the day.
Well, you should just come over and deliver our mail early.
I said, that's up to my boss.
I have to do it in order.
I did.
I gave.
I said, here's his name, here's his number.
If he tells me it's okay to start doing it differently, then well, part of it was I
was going to let the boss tell her, uh-uh, it ain't happening.
Then also I wanted the boss to get a sense of how nuts she was.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Yes.
Already established that she's going to have to do that whenever something's set.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's that crazy picture.
Yeah.
When I went back to the office, he said, this woman on your route called up and complained
that you're always there too late.
I said, too late?
Here I am done with my route on time.
I'm not late for anything.
And he said, well, I mean, you're late in the day and she doesn't like it.
It was like, you know, you authorized me to switch the route around, but then the people
who used to be first are going to be pissed and they're going to be calling you.
He was like, yeah.
And then, no, we never changed it around for her.
But he mentioned a couple of times, man, what's wrong with that woman?
She's weird.
So it's like, yes, she's on record as being weird and strange and bizarre.
So that would automatically cast a shade on her right off the bat.
Good for you, that was a smart move.
Yeah, you know, I knew guys that I delivered mail with that would have just jumped right
at the chance.
They would have walked right into her house and slept with her.
And then it was true.
I knew a lot of divorced letter carriers that got divorced while on the job because they
were sleeping with people on their route.
I was in a band with a guy who lived across the street from a cop and he said she'd come
home in the middle of the day and then like five minutes later another car would pull
up and the guy would get out and go in and have sex and she'd get back in her car and
go back to duty.
No.
I saw her once.
She was, I'd say easily 400 pounds.
I have no idea how she managed to pass the physical requirements of being a police officer.
You know, blonde white girl but she was enormous.
Maybe she was less weight because she was really short but she was a big, big girl.
Plus being overweight is considered a disability.
So you can't fire somebody for having a disability.
Yeah, not so much like their gender or anything else.
I think more like their rights.
Plus the stress of being a cop makes people overeat so it's part of an on the job hazard.
It's like an on the job hazard, you know.
So how can they keep firing them for that?
They do have to watch the certain criteria because it is considered like a government
life job where they have to do certain things.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.
What I'm saying is this is probably why it's a huge problem.
Yeah, the fact that we have to have so many laws maybe sitting people in about hiring
so they don't do it wrong is sad.
It is.
It's sad that people don't just do the right thing and you know, we're going to have all
people of this color and no people of that color working here.
Because people want to do that and that's sad.
So that's why we have to have all these regulations.
You want a fair, balanced campus society.
Don't pit people against each other.
Yes.
Which your government is famous for doing.
Uh huh.
Divide and conquer.
Yep, yep, that's it.
Yep.
Alright, if you heard some flipping, don't break at this bathroom, but while you were
gone, Rick came up to me.
Oh yeah?
Someone knocked us out.
They had the chocolates.
Uh oh.
Yeah.
Sorry Rick.
He told us to tell them that they didn't deliver the chocolates on the bed last night like
they were supposed to.
Uh huh.
And they want those and the ones for tonight too.
That'll work.
Yeah.
Well I guess tomorrow morning at this point.
Yeah.
There better be three of them before we leave here.
So I guess we're getting three of them.
It's not like you can buy these chocolates because they have the emblem on them.
Right, these are like custom made.
Yeah, they're like, yeah, it's pretty interesting.
I love the name.
Hey thank you.
Thank you.
Check us out on the new phones.
What are you guys talking about?
Anything and everything.
I mean, how is it that you'reán
Man?
Yeah, that's true.
I know, yeah, it's just sometimes you're packing the car, packing for the plane, you don't
remember.
Well, and also another thing is, a lot of times, you know, he has his concourse here,
where he's walking by to the market over there.
Yeah.
That's another thing, if you're having cotton in the national, that is, both cotton houses
and the national are the same thing.
Yeah.
So, we don't always do outside, but it's such a beautiful day today, we don't do outside.
So, in the banner, inside there's kind of hard to put a banner up because of the corner
that we're in.
Right, yeah, it would be just like everyone would have to detour around to go around three
different tables.
There's so many pretty down in front of us out there.
There's a whole way to hang it from the ceiling so there's no stand on the, yeah, we'll figure
something.
Because now that we have a banner up here, we're actually going to be able to put a person
on it.
Yeah.
Which is what we're going for.
So, I'm a big fan of some icon kind of red cloth here.
This is the one that I've been looking for.
Yeah.
So, I'm a big fan of some icon kind of red cloth here.
This is the one that I've been looking for.
Yeah.
This was in 2007.
Yeah.
This was in Minneapolis.
This was Minneapolis, Minnesota, yeah.
It was the I-35 bridge collapse.
I remember that because I was coming around to see it.
I remember that.
I was getting ready to watch the world's going.
And there was nothing on it.
I'm like, what the hell?
What happened?
It reminds me when I was going to watch World Series.
And I was the only one that was watching it.
Yeah.
And that's because there was a hard earthquake.
Yeah.
So, this is another guy.
The folks in Minneapolis say this is kind of like their 9-11.
Yeah.
Because it was such a horrible catastrophe.
everybody drove across it.
Yeah.
It was like everyone.
Yeah.
It's like, you're actually there.
Yeah.
It's like, oh wait, I'm there.
I mean, wait a minute, I'm not physically there.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it happened on August 1, 2007.
13 people died as a result of the bridge collapse.
I thought it was more than that.
Yeah.
A lot more injured, but that's...
Well, the higher agency had 176 people.
Yeah.
So, it was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It was a horrible thing.
Yeah.
It still sucks in New Orleans.
Really?
Yeah.
So, going back to the beginning, in 1964, the bridge was designed.
And it was designed with a flaw.
And the flaw is it only had two trusses.
Now, the trusses are the things...
The bridge is a bit over that bridge.
Yeah.
Before it collapsed.
The trusses are the things that run along each side of the bridge.
You know, and go from one end to the other.
And it's usually, you know, you see all the triangles and all the beams and girders forming
all these triangles.
And so, that's the truss.
If you only have one truss, you've got a pretty unstable structure.
They tried to do a one-truss pedestrian bridge in Florida, so students could get across this
major road to the university.
And when they put the bridge in place, within hours, major cracks were forming.
I remember that.
And then they tried to get up there and fix it.
And while they were trying to fix it, it collapsed on top of a bunch of cars.
It killed one worker and I think six people in it either.
I remember that.
One truss bridge is just incredibly unstable.
This was a little bit after that.
Oh yeah, it was.
But the Minneapolis Bridge was a two-truss bridge.
Now, two is kind of the minimum because if one fails, the whole bridge is going to fail
because you need both trusses.
So that was the flaw.
There are a lot of bridges that will have a third truss right down the middle.
So if one truss fails, you still have the two to support the bridge and keeps it from
the sideways motion, et cetera, et cetera.
There's some bridges that have four trusses.
But this one, they decided to build just two.
So everything had to work perfectly all the time or the bridge was going to fail completely.
That was kind of the situation they had.
And they were like, yep, that's fine.
Let's do it.
Wow.
So in 1967, they're made there in construction.
And there are places where three or four beams come together along with the main load-carrying beam.
And they use these large plates.
There's gusset plates where they overlap all the different beams and then they're screwed
and riveted down into place with like 30 or 40 different attachments.
Now, these gusset plates, and there were 112 of them on this bridge, these gusset plates
were too thin.
They were supposed to be one-inch plates.
They were half-inch.
So from the beginning...
That's quite different.
Yeah.
From the beginning, the bridge was too weak and the gussets were too strong.
But engineers are taught to think, taught to believe that the beam will fail before the gusset plate does.
Because gusset plates are indestructible, basically.
Yeah.
So when they would inspect the bridge, they would look at the beams and not the gusset plates.
So, okay, fast forward 10 more years.
1977, the bridge has been open for 10 years.
They decided to resurface it because the bridge is getting a little rough.
And also add the de-icing system.
That added 4.2 million pounds of weight to the bridge that was not in the original design.
10 years on and they're adding 4.2 million.
Why would no one ever check on this when they get on it?
They did the bridge inspections, but they only inspected the beams.
And the beams seemed to be okay.
Wow.
Now the bridge was getting double the traffic load that it was originally expected to hold.
And the weather had been the worst it had been in decades.
So the winters were really bad and all this was combining the rarest bridge excessively.
And they said at that point in 1977, it was already so badly damaged that every car that drove over it
caused more damage, measurable damage.
And a semi, just for the fact that it was so much heavier in traveling speed,
did 9,000 times the damage of a car.
Now normally semis don't do that much more damage.
Yeah, it's just because the bridge is that bad off.
Every semi was like 9,000 cars in the crowd.
Yikes.
All right, 2003, they do a bridge inspection.
This is four years before the collapse.
They find vent gusset plates at a certain intersection, U-10 East and U-10 West.
So at the exact same point on either side of the bridge,
these gusset plates were bowed to the east on both of those intersections.
I think that would be a clue.
You would think.
They even took pictures of them.
And you can see they're bowed, there's like a shallow dinner plate.
And the conclusion of the inspectors was, well, there's no way this could have happened in place.
These must have been bent during construction.
And then they've always been this way.
And they've lasted this long, so no harm, no foul, no problem.
They ignored it.
Yeah, all right.
2007, three hours before the collapse.
It was at like 6 o'clock, 6.30 in the evening.
Three hours beforehand, construction equipment starts loading onto the bridge to do some more resurfacing.
They start stockpiling gravel, rebar, trucks.
All on the bridge.
And they park it directly over where the vent gusset plates are.
They have no clue that that's what they're doing.
That's just where they chose to park everything and load in a few extra thousand tons of equipment and stuff directly on top of that vent gusset plate.
And they said at 6.05 p.m., car number 112 pulls onto the bridge.
There were 111 cars on the bridge.
When car number 112 pulls onto the bridge, it collapses.
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Just instantly. You see on the video that at U-10...
You can see the straw, the rope, the cameras.
One extra car.
Yeah.
In the grand scheme of things, right?
Yes.
Wow.
And the fail happened at U-10, the joint with the broken vent gusset plates.
And it snapped and fell instantly and about half a second later, the northern end of the bridge collapsed too because it couldn't handle this drain of weight.
So that whole section just plummeted down into the Mississippi.
Wow.
Which, oddly enough, in Minneapolis is kind of fast moving and mostly clear.
You can actually see, you know, water. It's not a big, round muddy mess.
And it's not nearly as wide.
Yeah.
So it took a total of seven seconds to fully collapse from the start to the beginning.
But most of it happened within the first second.
Yeah.
Um, between 1980 and 2012, over a thousand bridges in the U.S. have failed and collapsed.
A thousand?
We haven't heard of about a thousand, have we? No, they aren't telling us.
But preserving for a long time, I don't know if it still is, was one of our most…
Yes, absolutely.
Our bridges were horrible. And I don't know if they've done anything to crack that or not, but we were like maybe number one or two.
Yeah.
Way up there.
I am seeing some bridge and overpass work.
Around here I've been seeing water faxing, so I don't know, maybe they're doing something.
But within the last 15 years, U.S. inspectors have been inspecting in the country the bridges.
They found 60,000 deficient bridges, highway bridges in the U.S.
And here's…
They take for granted those stuff.
Yeah, here's the kicker. 200 million people drive across those bridges every day.
Those 60,000 bridges, that's 200 million people every day risking their lives and most of them have no idea.
Well, here's one for you.
Yeah.
Down in the Rink of Springs Arkansas, just north of there, Beaver Arkansas is the name for Beaver Lake.
And all they know, in Beaver Arkansas, is Tableau Lake.
Yeah.
Okay. They have this thing there, and you can look this up online if you want to, the Little Gold Bingo Bridge.
Oh, cool.
It's all wood.
Oh, wow.
And I wonder about the durability of that though.
Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. Down in Warsaw there was…
Oh, yeah, yeah.
…what they call the swinging bridge.
Yeah.
Yeah, they closed it down and refurbished it. Then they opened it back up again.
Yeah.
Because a restaurant opened right there next to it.
They opened it back up so you could walk across it.
Yeah. No, no.
But it used to be a car bridge, but now you drive.
It used to be a car bridge.
And also, it was hit by a tornado in like 1860 when the original bridge was torn down.
Wow.
And then they rebuilt it again, and they built the exact same structure, the swinging bridge.
Neat.
And this is over the First States River, which is pretty wide back there because Jackson's
base had played the role of it.
Yeah, yeah. They don't let you fish from a bridge.
No, no, no.
But you can walk around the end of the bridge, you can go down and fish off the edge of the
bridge.
Yeah, that place is famous for snag and spoonbill.
Oh, yeah.
Spoonbill are huge. A lot of them register five, six, seven foot tall.
And you have to snag them because they don't really bite on the down.
Yeah, you just kind of got to troll and try to snag them.
They have huge trolling hooks and trouble hooks and trolling hooks.
Yeah.
And you either snag one or you don't.
Yep.
And I find it very tedious and would never do that.
No, no, you just basically drag these hooks around for hours on end and hope to just...
When I just grabbed a fucking bowling ball, I thought it was swimming hooks for 10 hours.
Yeah.
Really, the change about is pointless.
Your chance at catching one is about the same too.
Yeah.
I know people that are really good at snag and spoonbill.
They learn where they lurk.
Yeah.
Where they sit.
Where they breathe.
Where they fish.
And people who know that know the river can catch them.
Yeah.
And the thing about spoonbill is it's really almost just a novelty.
Yeah, they're really...
Which really is a good meat beaver.
Yeah.
But there is a designated snagging season.
The conservation department regulates them and knows how many you can take and pay for
the licenses.
There's plenty of these spoonbill.
Yeah.
They're very primitive looking fish, aren't they?
They look like they could have been around at the time of the cavemen.
Very easy to find.
Yeah.
They have a huge bill on them.
It's the name spoonbill.
And those big giant scales.
Yeah, look up spoonbill too while you're looking at the fucking bridge.
Yeah.
What was that bridge?
Swinging bridge.
Yeah.
So, anyway.
One last bridge fact I have for you.
I remember there was a bridge connecting some of the Florida Keys and I...
Yeah, that one's going too.
Yeah.
My grandmother said, this bridge is over a mile long.
And I was like, wow, that's insane.
How can a bridge be so long?
Do you know how long the longest bridge in the world is today?
Ten miles.
Oh, no, no, no.
There's an 18-mile bridge that's north of New Orleans.
It goes for 18 miles over a punch line.
Yeah.
And I know that because I made that trek many times.
That one is the longest bridge.
Okay, this is in China.
It's the Danyang Funchon Grand Bridge.
102.4 miles.
Wow.
Over open water.
Okay.
Isn't that insane?
It is.
102 miles.
That would take you like almost two hours to drive across.
That would be insane.
Wow.
Yeah.
And we'd like our 18-mile bridge or something.
Yeah.
Actually, the 18-mile bridge is the most boring bridge in the world.
Yeah.
It's really...
There's not a whole lot left to see.
Yeah.
You hear about those 18-mile bridges.
It just seems like one of those short bridges.
It just goes on forever.
And then there are a lot of places that are still left over Katrina.
Yeah.
There's like boats just mangled, the slime on the beach, the modern equipment, all that
stuff.
If you've ever driven around the northern plains, you'll see signs for wall drug.
Come visit wall drug, the famous wall drug in South Dakota.
I've never gone on a
wall drug before.
I don't know.
I've never been on one.
I've been on one.
About 10, 15 years ago, they were still there.
Oh, really?
And there's just tons of signs, some of them kind of clever.
They've been there forever.
But if you go there, it's really disappointing.
There's just this tiny little hole in the wall with cheap merchandise, junkie merchandise.
And I think one of their claim to fame was they were one of the original places you could
get a Jackalode.
Yeah.
Which is really cool.
Yeah.
And I think that's the only place that's still there.
Yeah.
And I think that's the only place that's still there.
Yeah.
And I think that's the only place that's still there.
Yeah.
And I think one of their claim to fame was they were one of the original places you could
get a Jackalode.
Yes.
Which is a Jackrabbit with deer antlers stuck on it.
Yes.
So.
Yeah.
So that's one of those things that, you know.
Oh, wall drug, let's go to wall drug.
And then you go there and you're like, yeah.
I think the biggest story was Billy Carter was attacked by a Jackalode, but there's no
such thing as a Jackalode.
Yes.
Do you remember that?
Mm-hmm.
They sent him his own honey and a Jackalode attacked him.
And the story is completely bogus, because there's no Jackalode.
Yeah.
And the story is completely bogus, because there's no Jackalode.
Yeah.
Jack the Mike the Pact and the story is completely bogus because there's no such thing as a good
thing.
He must have had a little bit too much billy beer that day.
He did and I knew that a long time ago and it was horrible.
Yeah.
It tastes like if you took Mugger Banger and mixed it in with any other breast cancer
like with a little bit of pepper and lime and shit.
I saw a show recently that's kind of a car enthusiast show and his three hosts went over
to China to be part of the show.
It's amazing.
What do you think of, what do you picture when you think of a Chinese city?
Oh, quite huge.
Sky's favorite, sky next to each other, small.
Yeah.
It's just the city, it's the city I hadn't even heard of and it's just enormous.
I mean it looks like a much more newer New York.
It looks like Dubai.
I mean it's just the wealth is insane in it.
Just this enormous city and as they drove out they started heading down the highway
so they said the Chinese are putting in just thousands and thousands of new miles of highway
here and it's just this massive nationwide road construction.
Every say 30 seconds or so you drive under an overhang over the road that takes pictures
of you.
Multiple, multiple flash pictures, about seven or eight for each car driving under.
And about 30 seconds later you're driving under another one so you're driving, you're
constantly having your photograph taken.
And somewhere somebody analyzes all those photographs to see if you've got your seatbelt
on, do you have those hands on the wheel, are you talking on your cell phone.
They said one of the more common citations they have to issue is people pleasuring themselves
or others while driving.
Well that reminds me, you know if a man jumps turnstiles and you know where he's going to?
Then he's hot.
But imagine that in this country if you're driving down the road and more frequently
than every aisle you were getting your picture taken a couple dozen times.
Do you think people in this country would put up with that?
No.
But in China you have no choice.
One of the troubles that the car hosts got into was they were running out of gas.
So you know these exit signs would say, all the signs are in Mandarin.
So they don't read Mandarin.
They had no idea.
So they looked for the little gas pump logo.
It's like okay this exit, gas pump logo.
They pull off and the gas station is there but it's under construction.
So they get back on and they go to the next one and says okay gas station here.
They pull off again.
The gas station's there but they haven't gotten their fuel delivered yet.
So they have nothing to sell.
They go on to the next one.
It's like one after another.
They put up all the signs saying here's the gas station but they haven't built the gas
stations yet.
And they finally, they found one and managed to fill up.
And while they were standing there they said okay we're on this side and we have like three
lanes going our direction and three lanes going the other direction.
On the other side of this river is a highway just as big.
A second highway just on the other side of that river.
That's how many cars they're expecting to have.
They're expecting their population to just buy millions and millions of cars.
Wow.
Yeah.
Now China currently is the number one producer of cars in the world.
And China is also the number one consumer of cars in the world.
You know they can't even make enough cars to satisfy their own people.
They have to import cars from other countries.
Because Chinese people are buying cars like crazy.
Yeah.
Insane.
Who knew that in 2023 China is becoming the car culture.
Oh I believe that they've been hid towards, not by their government, but they've been
hidden towards Western influence for a long time.
Yeah.
I mean I think it's natural.
They're trying to find a thing in life because they were a government.
Yeah, yeah.
They've had a large peasant culture for a lot of their history.
And now I think a lot of the Chinese people are like let's get some of these Western
conveniences and influences but keep the communist control so no one makes a profit anywhere.
And that's where the trouble is.
Yeah.
See in the US we have trouble that everyone's trying to make more and more profit.
In China they have trouble that everyone wants more and more bribes and payoffs.
So you have the same amount of money leakage.
Yeah.
Come on let's do it.
Yep.
All right.
Two douche bags and a microphone.
More fun than a taser to the jugular bag.
Hey.
Where do they go?
Where are the douche bags?
Oh my God.
Someone took a dump in the corner.
Oh geez.
Glad they're gone.
Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man that smells.