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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

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it is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast.

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This ain't boring as radio, kid. It's the Next Generation Podcast.

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Like stated before, if you believe anything we say

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or think this podcast anything other than hyperbole, parody, and just plain stupidness,

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you're dumber than us, and that's hard to beat.

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Oh Lord, that man just saw a puppy in half.

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Hey there, don't worry, I have a clown nose.

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Oh no! That drunk guy just hit my child!

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It's okay, I have a clown nose.

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Clown nose! Just put one on and you can do anything!

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Wanna run for office? Murder people in public?

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Just grab a clown nose and BAM! Everyone laughs!

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Clown noses are sold at gag stores online and pedophile conventions.

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Grab one today and make magic happen.

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Daddy took them off yesterday.

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I'm a fucking girl now, I'm like, I can't do it.

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I've gone through a couple pair.

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They wear out.

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The stuff does not get this in the head. I had to get a speaker in there.

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I got bored in one.

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I didn't want to get any more than I had to.

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But you know if you're wearing the headphones you can't hear the traffic, dogs.

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You gotta hear somebody say, shirt?

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I'm like, I wanna buy a car with you.

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I used to wear headphones when I was delivering mail, but I had to be able to hear the dogs coming at me.

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You gotta get that catra going.

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Now I was coming into the parking lot and the guy goes, shirt?

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I'm like, you're the man, I'm gonna bite.

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One of them is located in the ballroom now.

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I've never understood the hostility towards bicycles.

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I should have just stopped and been like, what did you say?

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Throwing a bike at me and shit.

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I said, if this bike had a 50-inch front tire, I'd go.

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There's somebody else's bike tire.

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These are 29, these are 26.

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Oh wow.

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That's the original, this ain't.

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It'd be like one of those old funny cars where they had those real small front tires and the big back tires.

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It's like taking my 29-inch tires off this bike and sticking them on my beach cruiser next to 26.

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It's like riding a bike that's way too big.

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Then I'd be like, I was happy to say, no brakes!

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I don't know what I'm gonna do with that, man.

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The wind's blowing, my sneezing all over me.

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Yeah, yeah.

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It's a good pollen season.

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Everything's covered in a little green powder.

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On a little Sunday.

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Yeah.

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This place is hopping on a Sunday.

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They usually come down on a Monday morning, not nearly the number of people.

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Yeah.

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But on a good Sunday, they're all out.

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Hoping to catch some people who were done with the draft and from out of town.

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See if we can talk to some of them.

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I live in the city.

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I'm out of town.

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Yeah?

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Technically.

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I live in a park, but town.

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Yeah.

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I'm trying to find out where I'm gonna get my pick-pick.

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Yeah.

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It's all downhill.

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Oh, yeah.

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I'll look for Charlie and see if he goes.

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What you have here?

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Oh.

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It has a parking brake.

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It has a parking brake?

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No, it sticks.

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Oh, yeah.

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All right.

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Take it easy.

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All right.

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We'll just kind of ramble our way on into this.

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It's hopping here today again.

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Yeah, it is.

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Good.

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I've got some invisible-ass padlands.

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I've got a deer douchebag.

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I've got some alternative insults.

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Let's see.

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Thirty free facts about sleep.

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The skit.

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Oh, nice.

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I'm gonna have to record it in bits and piece it together.

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I'll have a lot of these sound effects already.

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Okay, good.

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Maybe Tuesday evening?

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You doing anything Tuesday evening?

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I don't think so.

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Sounds good.

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Yeah, maybe Tuesday evening we can get together and put together some of this, and I'll have

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the voice guy do his part.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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All right.

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You have anything you want to lead off with?

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Let's see.

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What would be good lead-off material?

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Oh, Tesla again.

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Oh, okay.

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There we go.

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And more Tesla.

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Since we're always after Elon, might as well.

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Yes.

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All right.

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He's getting an ass paddling too, by the way.

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He deserves one.

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Yes, he does.

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So I guess we should officially start this mess.

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Yes, we should.

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We'll just start it in.

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Are you ready to go?

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Yep.

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All right.

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Are we going right now?

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We are going right now.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Well, two douche bags and microphone.

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I guess there's a little bit recorded before me, which is fantastic.

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It sounded like a great conversation.

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So, well, I was hobbling over back to the car because I forgot to put in parking.

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Yep.

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And then grabbing our lattes.

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That's what was happening.

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So two douche bags.

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And a microphone.

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Mark.

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And I'm Topher.

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All right.

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We're going to start off, like Forrest said, with Elon Musk.

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Oh, yeah.

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Who's getting an ass paddling later?

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We definitely don't want our podcast mobile to get towed out of the parking lot.

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No, no.

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That would be a shitty day.

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Yeah, there's the guy behind you there that I was talking to earlier with the bicycle.

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Oh, okay.

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Well, maybe he'll come back over and talk some more.

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That'd be fine.

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All right.

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More Tesla next.

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All right.

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I always get drawn into anything that says Tesla.

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Yeah.

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I think the three pugs are here again.

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Oh, no, no.

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It's only two.

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Forget it.

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It's not the same guy.

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Banjo Barney is here again.

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Yes, he is, which is awesome.

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But I've not seen Mrs. Goldfenstein yet.

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Yeah, she doesn't like large crowds.

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She doesn't.

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She likes to yell at the walls privately.

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Yes, yes.

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She's a very private person.

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When she's mad at the walls, she doesn't want anyone to know except us and the rest of the

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podcast world.

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Exactly.

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So, okay.

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So, Elon's at it again, huh?

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Yeah.

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Well, his car company, Tesla, which, you know, of course, is run exactly the way he wants.

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Yeah.

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Tesla has started disabling supercharging for cars that they feel don't deserve it.

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Oh, how fucking shitty.

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So, for a little background here, supercharging is the fast charging.

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Yeah, I know.

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And it's generally less expensive if not free.

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Tesla had sold a number of, like, two model years of cars.

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They said if you buy the car, you get unlimited lifetime supercharging.

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Now, they're trying to weasel out of that because they can't, well, they don't want

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to keep providing the free supercharging.

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So, they're starting to offer huge incentives for these people to trade in their cars on

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one that doesn't have unlimited charging because they don't offer it anymore.

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And they're also trying to get people to take a one-time cash buyout to give up their unlimited

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charging.

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Oh, boy.

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He's offering a five grand.

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I would never let that motherfucker off the hook if it was me.

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Never let him off the hook.

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Here's a question I got.

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Why is he trying to get out of it?

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Does it cost that much?

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Yeah.

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Plus, he wants, what he's doing now is he's selling cars with, like, two years of unlimited

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supercharging and then he wants you to pay after that.

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So, he wants the superchargers free and available so you can get used to it so when your free

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period runs out, you can't live without it.

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So, the whole thing was thought up ahead of time as a scam.

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Yeah, what a dick.

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What a fucking asshole.

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So, now he's exerting even more control over the supercharging.

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There was a motorist recently that got stranded.

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His car was low, so he pulled over to a supercharging station, plugged it in, and his car is now

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on the line.

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The motorist said, nope.

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Deauthorized.

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Can't do it.

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And there was no other charging available anywhere that he could get to.

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So, he was stuck.

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He was stranded because Tesla, without telling him, just took away his supercharger.

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I've been so mad I would have found fucking Elon and punched him right in his fucking

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alien-looking fucking face.

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What a cocksucker.

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Geez.

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Now, Tesla is also preventing these people from accessing supercharging outside the Tesla

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network.

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So, you go to some other company's supercharging, but your own car still refuses to accept it

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because Tesla turned it off.

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Isn't it like Walmart that offers supercharging and there's some other places that offer it?

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Even Evergy Energy, I think, has some free supercharging stations.

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Yep.

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But if Tesla decides your car doesn't get it, it doesn't get it.

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Oh man, I would do so bad.

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Nothing you can do about it.

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All these things that he's doing, once the word gets out, it's going to hurt his sales.

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No kidding.

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I hope he realizes it.

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No, I don't care if he realizes it.

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Yeah.

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What an asshole.

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Let's see, what's the...

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Oh yeah.

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And some of the reasons they're disabling supercharging is if they can sense any modifications

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whatsoever in your vehicle, they disable supercharging.

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So anything they can do, any way...

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If their algorithm determines that your car isn't up to peak mechanical and electrical

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performance, they'll turn off supercharging until you get it fixed.

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They're finding any excuse to just cut it off and deny it to you.

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That's fucking bullshit, man.

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But you know, somewhere in the fine print, when the person bought that car, they agreed

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that Tesla had that power over them.

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I'm sure it's in the fine print somewhere.

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Oh, I'm sure it is too.

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I'm sure that whatever Tesla's doing, they've already got you to sign off on it because

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nobody reads the fine print.

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It's just here's the example of, is this the kind of company you want to do business with?

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They sell you a car...

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Not me.

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I'll never get one now.

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And then they keep modifying and modifying.

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I used to be in love with Teslas.

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Now I can't stand them because of the owner or the inventor or whatever the fuck.

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And the gist of the report on this was you don't own your Tesla car because Tesla can

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make changes to it, it can deny you things, it can force you to go out of your way for

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other chargings.

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It can tell you that you're out of luck until you go get your car repaired.

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They own your car still.

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You may think you own it.

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You're paying personal property tax on it, but boy, you sure don't own it.

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You're not in control of it.

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Not real far off from Ford's car fucking turning itself in because it needs to be...

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Repo itself.

261
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,680
Repo.

262
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,680
Wow.

263
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:13,680
That's something else.

264
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,680
Good old Elon Musk.

265
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,680
Yeah.

266
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:16,680
That guy looks like a fucking asshole anyhow.

267
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:17,680
I'm sorry.

268
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,680
He looks like an artificial creation.

269
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,680
He doesn't look like a real human being.

270
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:20,680
Yeah.

271
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,680
Yeah.

272
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:22,680
I would doubt.

273
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:23,680
I would like to see his genetics.

274
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:24,680
Yeah.

275
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,680
And you know how Elon Musk started, got his fortune?

276
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,680
No.

277
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,680
Family emerald mine.

278
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,680
So he didn't get rich because he's smart.

279
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,680
He won the birth lottery.

280
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:30,680
And how much you bet he bought his ideas.

281
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,680
I'm not sure.

282
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,680
I'm not sure.

283
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,680
I'm not sure.

284
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:34,680
I'm not sure.

285
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:35,680
I'm not sure.

286
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,680
I'm not sure.

287
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:37,680
I'm not sure.

288
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:38,680
I'm not sure.

289
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,680
I'm not sure.

290
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:40,680
I'm not sure.

291
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,680
I'm not sure.

292
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:42,680
I'm not sure.

293
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,680
I'm not sure.

294
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,680
He bought his ideas.

295
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,680
Uh huh.

296
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:46,680
He didn't come up with them.

297
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,680
He bought them, I bet.

298
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:51,840
That's what a lot of, quote unquote, successful people do is they hire intelligent, insightful

299
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,000
people and buy their ideas from them.

300
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Yeah.

301
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,800
You hire them saying your ideas are now my property, so get thinking.

302
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,880
And there's nothing they can say about it either.

303
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:01,880
Yeah.

304
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,280
It's like, okay, well, I got my money, so.

305
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,280
Yeah.

306
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,280
Wow.

307
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,900
So I have an important question that I'd like to ask.

308
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:11,900
Yeah.

309
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,860
all the mind readers and psychics in their audience,

310
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,000
I have a very important question for you.

311
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:19,980
Okay, when you have the answer,

312
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:22,780
send it in to two douchebags and a microphone.

313
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:26,320
We'll be waiting.

314
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,160
Yep.

315
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,620
You ever seen those billboards for the psychic fair?

316
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,020
Yes, yeah.

317
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,460
If people are really psychic,

318
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:37,180
why do they need to put up a billboard?

319
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:39,620
Shouldn't they just know that the psychic fair is there?

320
00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:43,260
Funny you say that because I've played that on a friend of mine that goes,

321
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:45,340
I'm gonna go, didn't they telepathically tell you?

322
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,300
What do you mean?

323
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,220
Well, you're psychic, right?

324
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,260
Yeah.

325
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,980
Well, how come they just didn't relay it to you?

326
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,820
Go get out of here, it doesn't work like that.

327
00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:54,780
Of course it doesn't.

328
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:56,540
Well, how does it work?

329
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,220
What am I thinking right now?

330
00:13:58,220 --> 00:13:59,500
Get out of here.

331
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,700
It only works in a way that I don't have to prove it works.

332
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:06,820
That's how it works.

333
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:09,260
Yeah, it's always like, well, it doesn't work like that.

334
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:11,780
Well, Tesla, hey, how come my car won't charge?

335
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:14,060
Well, it doesn't work like that.

336
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,500
Exactly.

337
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,700
Hey, let it be like us going into a city market coffee,

338
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:20,060
just got our coffee ago.

339
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,260
Well, is my coffee ready?

340
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,380
Well, it doesn't work like that.

341
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,820
Well, you mean it doesn't work like that.

342
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:28,260
It's supposed to work exactly like that.

343
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:29,820
Wow.

344
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,100
I got a little juicy story for you.

345
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,300
You hear about the federal agents that busted into the wrong hotel room?

346
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:36,700
No, I didn't.

347
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:37,660
Oh, this ought to be good.

348
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:38,340
Yep.

349
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:41,820
Federal agents and military personnel conducting a training exercise

350
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:46,260
at a Boston hotel interrupted an unsuspecting civilian

351
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,700
after they entered the wrong room by mistake.

352
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:52,060
So someone's in there probably scratching their nuts,

353
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,140
watching reruns of Mannix.

354
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,740
And all of a sudden, these federal agents kick it in its fucking.

355
00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:59,220
Jerking off with a banana peel.

356
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,940
I still can't get over it.

357
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:04,420
Some woman actually called her boyfriend masturbating

358
00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:05,620
into a banana peel.

359
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:06,620
With a banana peel.

360
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:10,300
I'm sorry, man.

361
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,500
What about the mess?

362
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,100
Ew.

363
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,900
And your wiener smells like banana.

364
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:15,420
Yeah.

365
00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:21,060
I've heard of warm bologna in a microwave and shit like that,

366
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:23,380
but I've never, ever heard of that.

367
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,300
And even a guy in school said he warmed up,

368
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,700
he was going to warm up Silly Putty and do that.

369
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:31,500
And he said he exploded all over the microwave and ruined it.

370
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,420
His mom and dad like kicked the shit out of him.

371
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:36,540
Because that's when microwaves were really expensive.

372
00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:37,040
Yeah.

373
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:37,860
In the 80s, yeah.

374
00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:38,900
You're like, what'd you do?

375
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,100
$1,200 for a microwave.

376
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,380
I warmed up Silly Putty.

377
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:42,980
Why wouldn't you do that?

378
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:44,340
I don't want to talk about it.

379
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:51,300
Authorities confirmed to NPR that one was injured

380
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,980
in the incident, no one was injured in the incident, sorry,

381
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,100
which happened around 10 PM Tuesday night

382
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:59,580
and now is under review by the FBI and Department of Defense.

383
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:00,300
Oh, wow.

384
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,020
Yeah.

385
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:04,940
An apology was issued to the affected person by the exercise.

386
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:09,420
The training was to enhance soldier skills to operate.

387
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,620
Unfortunately, the training entered the wrong room.

388
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,060
Yeah, no telling what was going on.

389
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:22,660
And bam, fucking broke his door down.

390
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,740
The agency did not offer any information

391
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:29,340
on the person that was detained, so they detained him.

392
00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:31,580
It doesn't say for how long.

393
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:32,380
Oh, my gosh.

394
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:33,300
They probably cuffed him.

395
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,860
They probably put him in the corner.

396
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,740
They probably said all kinds of shit to him,

397
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,220
like, we got you now, son.

398
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:38,740
Yeah.

399
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:39,940
You're not going anywhere.

400
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,940
Yeah.

401
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:44,540
Just the stupidity of doing this exercise just

402
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,700
like in the middle of a hotel with people

403
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,020
staying on either side.

404
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:49,660
Yeah.

405
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,460
They should have cleared out the whole floor.

406
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,460
So there wasn't really a real perpetrator

407
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,460
that they were looking for.

408
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:55,260
Yeah, it was just.

409
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,740
It was like a fake one in a different room.

410
00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:59,180
And he's probably in there going,

411
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,500
when the fuck are they going to do this?

412
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,820
I'm getting really tired, man.

413
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,980
I'm about ready to fall asleep.

414
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:07,700
I'm about to turn on some pay-per-view here.

415
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:11,180
So all the bureaus said was just that it was not

416
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:15,020
the intended role player.

417
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:19,020
And that's all they offered was that.

418
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:21,500
Well, good to know they're still hiring the best and brightest.

419
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,660
Yeah, that's it.

420
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:29,700
I mean, that's funny unless it happens to you.

421
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,780
Then that sucks.

422
00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:33,580
Because you know they're mad because, you know, well,

423
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:38,780
since it was a fake one, then, you know, probably not.

424
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:39,660
I don't even know.

425
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,700
You know, maybe they, I would imagine

426
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:43,300
they would have to do all protocol, wouldn't they?

427
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:46,660
They have to put him in cuffs, put him in the corner, all that.

428
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:47,820
So yeah.

429
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,940
So he at least had that done.

430
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:51,900
God.

431
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,860
And then you know the FBI was embarrassed.

432
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,220
And then they get mad because they're embarrassed.

433
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:58,100
And who knows, he might get a little pissed off at him

434
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,020
because his denial.

435
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:00,700
It's not me, you son of a bitches.

436
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,660
I'm not the guy.

437
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,460
He's playing his part really well, isn't he?

438
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:05,220
Yeah.

439
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,380
Well, I guess that means we got to kick the shit out of him

440
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:09,420
because that's protocol because he's mouthing off.

441
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:13,340
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

442
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,660
Bring in the anal ram.

443
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,500
I got a bunch of little stories here.

444
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,140
Do you want to go into something?

445
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,340
Oh, I have an interesting hippopotamus fact.

446
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:28,020
Oh, yeah, go ahead.

447
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:31,460
I have learned that hippos can run faster

448
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:34,020
than human can on land.

449
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:35,180
And a hippo can swim.

450
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:35,860
That's funny.

451
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:36,380
Yeah.

452
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,740
Because they're viewed as slow.

453
00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:38,540
Yeah, they're not.

454
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:39,580
They're not.

455
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,260
They can definitely outrun you.

456
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:44,500
They can swim faster than a human in the water.

457
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,140
That's good to know if you're down there.

458
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,380
Yeah.

459
00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:49,540
So really, I guess what this means

460
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:53,140
is you can still beat one in a triathlon on the bicycle

461
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:53,820
portion.

462
00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:54,500
Yeah, yeah.

463
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,860
But how many bicycles are out there?

464
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,540
Well, that's true.

465
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:06,340
But you sign up for the triathlon, you see a hippo.

466
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,220
He's going to beat your ass in the swimming

467
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,500
portion and the running portion.

468
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:12,580
So what you're saying is you want the swimming

469
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:16,020
portion to be last in the triathlon.

470
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,540
That way, you're well ahead of him.

471
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,900
Yeah, yeah, you've got a good solid lead.

472
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,100
And he's worn out from trying to pedal a bicycle.

473
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,660
Yeah, trying to pedal a bicycle.

474
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:24,500
There, there.

475
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,500
OK.

476
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,180
So if you're ever in a triathlon with a hippo,

477
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,100
you know what to do.

478
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:29,860
Exactly.

479
00:19:29,860 --> 00:19:31,900
That's what we do here.

480
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,660
We give.

481
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,180
Yes.

482
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,980
You're welcome, America.

483
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:39,900
Don't be just cross that one out right now.

484
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:41,100
No, I love that one.

485
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,300
Is there any more on it?

486
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,140
Let's see, that was all I had about hippos.

487
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,180
OK.

488
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,740
But I had some on lobsters.

489
00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:47,540
Oh, OK.

490
00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:50,900
But real quick, in the car, you're talking about how the boat.

491
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,580
Oh, yeah, I saw that video.

492
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:53,380
Yeah.

493
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,180
It was a video.

494
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,020
This one kind of got me onto the subject.

495
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,580
There were a couple of people with a video camera

496
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,140
that got into a small outboard boat.

497
00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:06,100
And they were going through a watery area in,

498
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,660
I think it was Zambia.

499
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,180
Uh-huh.

500
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:12,140
That's, I'm not sure exactly where that is in Africa.

501
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,300
It's an African country.

502
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,140
And they were looking for a certain hippopotamus

503
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:21,420
that was native to that area.

504
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,580
And they're cruising along, and they come across an open area

505
00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:27,180
of water, and here are a couple of hippos just looking at them.

506
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:30,340
And one disappears under the water.

507
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:35,060
And like three seconds later, it surfaces,

508
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:37,740
popping up like a dolphin does.

509
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:40,500
And he's like six feet from the boat.

510
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,820
And they hit the gas.

511
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,940
And the boat's going flat out.

512
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:47,220
And this hippo is just dead on their stern.

513
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,980
And it's like every three to five seconds,

514
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:51,780
he comes plunging up out of the water to take a breath

515
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:52,580
and then down in.

516
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:54,060
And he is keeping up with the boat.

517
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:55,300
And the hippo's mad just because they

518
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,220
come flying through there.

519
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:56,740
Yes.

520
00:20:56,740 --> 00:21:00,700
The hippo is incredibly territorial and very hostile.

521
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:03,700
Of all the large animals in Africa,

522
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:06,180
hippos kill the most people every year.

523
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,340
Not lions, not water buffaloes, not rhinos.

524
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:11,020
You'd be led to believe it would be lions or something

525
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:11,540
like that.

526
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,460
You would never think that it was a hippo.

527
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:14,020
It's hippos.

528
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:18,380
In fact, a lot of villages, if they have a hippo in their area,

529
00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:22,540
will hire a hunter to come kill the hippo,

530
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:26,180
because the hippo's going to kill their children.

531
00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:28,420
Because the hippo is territorial to the point

532
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,100
that it won't just try to chase you away.

533
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,100
It wants to actually kill you.

534
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,540
Yeah.

535
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:35,140
So they'll usually get a hunter in.

536
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:38,660
He'll kill the hippo and feeds the villagers.

537
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:42,100
They're not a protected animal by any means.

538
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:45,300
But they're pretty rough customers.

539
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,740
You don't want to screw with a hippo.

540
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,220
Real quick, Topher, look around the corner,

541
00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:51,580
right over there where I'm looking.

542
00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:52,780
Look at the beautiful mullet.

543
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:53,780
That is epic.

544
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,300
Is that not beautiful?

545
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,420
Oh my god.

546
00:21:56,420 --> 00:21:58,780
That is nearly Billy Ray Cyrus quality.

547
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:00,580
Yes, it is.

548
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:02,980
Oh, I wish we had video cam right now.

549
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:04,580
This mullet is kicking.

550
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:06,580
It's almost Joe Dirt.

551
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:07,580
It's really close.

552
00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:09,180
It's really close to Joe Dirt.

553
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,580
Yeah, it's real close.

554
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:11,180
Oh my god.

555
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:13,780
I just want to go over there and have a little party.

556
00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:15,580
Have a mullet party.

557
00:22:15,580 --> 00:22:16,580
I need glitter.

558
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,180
Have some mullet mayhem.

559
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:18,680
Yeah.

560
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,180
Woo, woo.

561
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:24,380
Look at the mullet.

562
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,180
Oh my god.

563
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:27,380
It's so beautiful.

564
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,380
Can I frolic around the mullet?

565
00:22:29,380 --> 00:22:31,380
That pretty much guarantees you an ass paddling.

566
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:32,180
Yes, it does.

567
00:22:32,180 --> 00:22:33,980
Oh, look what he's wearing, too.

568
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:39,580
Oh my god.

569
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:40,580
Yep, OK.

570
00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:41,580
Mullet man.

571
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:42,180
I'm sorry.

572
00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:43,780
Go ahead with the hippo talk.

573
00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:46,180
Oh, we were going to the hippos, but I had some little lobsters.

574
00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:46,680
Oh, OK.

575
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,580
Let's hear about them.

576
00:22:47,580 --> 00:22:51,780
Did you know that a lobster's urinary bladder is in its head?

577
00:22:51,780 --> 00:22:53,080
No.

578
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,980
So they pee out of their faces.

579
00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:04,180
You know, people would clean toilets a lot more if we had to do that.

580
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:04,980
Absolutely.

581
00:23:04,980 --> 00:23:09,480
Yeah, you wouldn't go into most urinals and have it smell like one giant fucking piss

582
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,780
block with fucking whatever.

583
00:23:11,780 --> 00:23:13,380
Yeah.

584
00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:17,780
And since lobsters communicate by scent, when lobsters talk,

585
00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:19,980
they go up and pee in each other's faces.

586
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:24,780
That's awesome.

587
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,980
I'm glad that I don't have to talk that way.

588
00:23:26,980 --> 00:23:27,580
No, me too.

589
00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:30,180
I mean, there's almost nobody on this planet

590
00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:34,180
that I would have a conversation with if it involved peeing in each other's faces.

591
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:34,980
I know, man.

592
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,380
It would be like, hey, here's what we do here.

593
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,980
You look to the left, I look to the right, and we can talk.

594
00:23:40,980 --> 00:23:44,580
Other than that, no deal.

595
00:23:44,580 --> 00:23:48,380
Oh, good old lobsters.

596
00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:50,980
I'm actually not a real fan of lobster meat.

597
00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:52,580
I like crab really well.

598
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,980
I like shrimp, but lobster I've just never really enjoyed.

599
00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:59,380
Here's what I get is it's sold by the pound, right?

600
00:23:59,380 --> 00:24:03,180
And most of the meat that people like, or virtually all of the meat, is in their tail.

601
00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:03,880
Yeah.

602
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:09,880
OK, so you buy these lobsters, they're basically all their crustacean on the outside,

603
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,180
their armor, or whatever.

604
00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:12,580
The exoskeleton thing.

605
00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:13,580
The exoskeleton.

606
00:24:13,580 --> 00:24:17,980
You're paying for all that for just a little couple of little tidbits in the bottom of it.

607
00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:18,580
Yep.

608
00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:19,180
Yeah.

609
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:19,780
Yeah.

610
00:24:19,780 --> 00:24:21,380
Yeah, to me it doesn't make sense.

611
00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:25,980
Where I know I don't like seafood at all, I can't stand it.

612
00:24:25,980 --> 00:24:29,280
But if I was to buy seafood, it damn well would not be lobster,

613
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,180
because you're getting ripped off.

614
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,380
And lobster started as-

615
00:24:33,380 --> 00:24:34,380
Crab's another one.

616
00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:34,880
Yeah.

617
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:35,380
Go ahead.

618
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:39,980
Lobster started as poor people food for the people who live near the coast.

619
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:42,880
Yeah, yeah, they were an enhanced mud bug or whatever.

620
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:43,380
Yeah.

621
00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:43,880
Yeah.

622
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:49,380
It was considered junky garbage food that normal, well-off people didn't eat.

623
00:24:49,380 --> 00:24:49,880
Like grits.

624
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,380
But then they discovered that if they shipped it inland,

625
00:24:52,380 --> 00:24:55,580
rich people would pay for it because it was so unique and different.

626
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:56,380
Yes.

627
00:24:56,380 --> 00:24:59,180
But on the coast, it was still poor people food.

628
00:24:59,180 --> 00:24:59,680
Yes.

629
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:00,580
Yep.

630
00:25:00,580 --> 00:25:02,180
Yeah, it was like what you had to do.

631
00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:03,780
It's like, we don't have anything.

632
00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:10,580
I'll go see if I'll get a couple of those fucking ocean mud bugs or something.

633
00:25:10,580 --> 00:25:12,580
They viewed them pretty much as crawdads.

634
00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:15,780
Yeah, it's like I'm pushing all these lobsters out of my way

635
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,380
while I'm looking for something to eat.

636
00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:18,180
Yes.

637
00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:18,980
Yeah.

638
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:19,980
Yep.

639
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:23,580
But with the right PR, all of a sudden it's this fancy treat

640
00:25:23,580 --> 00:25:25,780
that has a whole restaurant named after it.

641
00:25:25,780 --> 00:25:29,580
No, I mean, let's face it, it's like caviar and all of that.

642
00:25:29,580 --> 00:25:32,580
When they discover poor people are eating it,

643
00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:35,780
well, one of the most famous example is brisket and burnt ends

644
00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:38,780
are what were famous for in Kansas City.

645
00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:42,580
The upper echelon would not get near a brisket.

646
00:25:42,580 --> 00:25:43,380
It was too tough.

647
00:25:43,380 --> 00:25:44,380
They didn't know how to cook it.

648
00:25:44,380 --> 00:25:44,880
Yep.

649
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,780
And burnt ends were considered garbage that you chop off and throw away.

650
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:48,880
Yeah, yeah.

651
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,580
Until the slaves realized they were giving this horrible food to the slaves.

652
00:25:52,580 --> 00:25:53,780
Here, you guys have this.

653
00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:55,780
For the cow we don't want.

654
00:25:55,780 --> 00:25:58,980
And then they discovered how to make it delicious.

655
00:25:58,980 --> 00:26:01,380
Like just crazy delicious.

656
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:05,180
If you want to find really good food,

657
00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:10,980
look for the food that the disadvantaged people of a culture used to cook.

658
00:26:10,980 --> 00:26:13,380
Because they would get the scraps, the garbage, the leftovers.

659
00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:14,980
And they would make that so delicious.

660
00:26:14,980 --> 00:26:15,980
Yes.

661
00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:16,980
Now burnt ends.

662
00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:18,380
That's where you get the real good food of a culture.

663
00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:19,980
It's not what the rich people eat.

664
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:24,380
It's what your average person on the street eats.

665
00:26:24,380 --> 00:26:27,380
And burnt ends weren't discovered until later on.

666
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,980
Maybe like the 30s, I think, something like that.

667
00:26:29,980 --> 00:26:34,580
And what it was was, I mean, it was known back in the slave days, you know,

668
00:26:34,580 --> 00:26:38,980
here you cut off the tip and you let that cook longer because it has more fat in it.

669
00:26:38,980 --> 00:26:39,380
Yeah.

670
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:42,980
When the fat all melts off, the meat caves in on each other.

671
00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:45,380
It has that incredible flavor from all the fat.

672
00:26:45,380 --> 00:26:46,380
Yeah.

673
00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:50,980
And so the outside's crunchy, the inside's tender and it has this amazing flavor.

674
00:26:50,980 --> 00:26:51,980
And guess what?

675
00:26:51,980 --> 00:26:56,180
We can put this delicious sauce on it and make it even better.

676
00:26:56,180 --> 00:26:56,780
So.

677
00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:58,180
Makes it addictive.

678
00:26:58,180 --> 00:26:59,380
Yes.

679
00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:00,580
Absolutely addictive.

680
00:27:00,580 --> 00:27:01,180
Yeah.

681
00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:03,180
So yeah, that's the thing about lobsters.

682
00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:07,380
And yeah, they didn't, it only got popular when the rich man wanted it.

683
00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:08,580
Yeah.

684
00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:10,580
Other than that, it was a necessity.

685
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:14,380
And that's pretty much the way a capitalist economy is supposed to work.

686
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,780
If more people want it, the price goes up.

687
00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:18,980
If fewer people want it, the price goes down.

688
00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:19,780
Yep.

689
00:27:19,780 --> 00:27:24,180
You know, it's, you know, is there more of it or is there less of it?

690
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,580
And that just sets the price.

691
00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:26,580
That sets the tone of it.

692
00:27:26,580 --> 00:27:27,580
Yeah.

693
00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:32,580
So like right now, crab is really high because king crab has disappeared.

694
00:27:32,580 --> 00:27:33,580
Yeah.

695
00:27:33,580 --> 00:27:35,980
The last I knew, they think some disease took them out.

696
00:27:35,980 --> 00:27:37,180
They don't think they moved.

697
00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:37,580
They're just stuck.

698
00:27:37,580 --> 00:27:38,180
Oh, okay.

699
00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:42,780
Yeah, I heard that they thought they'd maybe moved because the currents were shifting.

700
00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:43,580
Warmer climate.

701
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:43,980
Yeah.

702
00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:47,780
And they thought they're going to where it's colder and they're better adapt to a colder weather.

703
00:27:47,780 --> 00:27:48,380
Yeah.

704
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:55,780
So no, they think some sort of a virus took them all out, some sort of a sickness.

705
00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:56,380
So.

706
00:27:56,380 --> 00:28:03,780
The thing about populations moving, the California wine industry is having trouble with that

707
00:28:03,780 --> 00:28:07,380
because California has been just perfect wine growing country for decades.

708
00:28:07,380 --> 00:28:10,380
Yeah, very low precipitation.

709
00:28:10,380 --> 00:28:16,380
Moderate temperatures, not a lot of freeze problems, but California is warming up and

710
00:28:16,380 --> 00:28:17,980
drying out too much.

711
00:28:17,980 --> 00:28:24,780
So the excellent wine growing country is moving north into Oregon and Washington and eventually

712
00:28:24,780 --> 00:28:26,580
it's going to move north into Canada.

713
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:27,180
Yes.

714
00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:36,780
Right now, Oregon is really good for growing wine grapes and it is somehow incredibly fantastically

715
00:28:36,780 --> 00:28:38,780
good for growing marijuana.

716
00:28:38,780 --> 00:28:44,780
Something about the volcanic soil and the way the climate there is, the guy was, the

717
00:28:44,780 --> 00:28:47,980
Spencer, he's saying you just throw seeds on the ground and they're going to sprout

718
00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:49,580
up and give you a bunch of crop.

719
00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:49,980
Wow.

720
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:51,780
Oregon is just like the perfect place for marijuana.

721
00:28:51,780 --> 00:28:52,980
Is that fertile for marijuana?

722
00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:54,180
Yeah.

723
00:28:54,180 --> 00:29:02,580
So as climate shifts and temperatures shift, populations will move north or south depending

724
00:29:02,580 --> 00:29:05,380
on what they want.

725
00:29:05,380 --> 00:29:07,980
That's why we're getting armadillos up here in Missouri.

726
00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:09,180
Yeah, we never used to get them.

727
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:11,380
When I was growing up, that was a southern thing.

728
00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:13,380
That was more like, not even Oklahoma.

729
00:29:13,380 --> 00:29:13,780
Yeah.

730
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:16,780
That was more like northern Texas and down.

731
00:29:16,780 --> 00:29:18,780
It was rarer to see them in Arkansas.

732
00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:19,380
Yeah.

733
00:29:19,380 --> 00:29:22,380
But now they're just all over the side of the road all on the I-70.

734
00:29:22,380 --> 00:29:24,980
Yeah, I even seen some in the Kansas City area.

735
00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:26,580
You speak just south.

736
00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:31,780
Like if you went maybe what, maybe Butler or Rich Hill, that whole area down there,

737
00:29:31,780 --> 00:29:36,180
I don't know, approximately about 40 miles, 50 miles south of Kansas City, you would find

738
00:29:36,180 --> 00:29:40,780
them everywhere and especially over there in the Leicene River bottoms and the wetlands

739
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:46,380
and that whole area there down 69 Highway, you would find armadillos everywhere.

740
00:29:46,380 --> 00:29:49,380
But you would never find them up here, but now they're being found up here and sooner

741
00:29:49,380 --> 00:29:53,780
or later they're going to be found in Iowa and eventually in Minnesota, all that.

742
00:29:53,780 --> 00:29:54,980
Yeah.

743
00:29:54,980 --> 00:30:01,180
The conservation agent I talked to said that he personally thinks they won't make it much

744
00:30:01,180 --> 00:30:03,780
farther past Missouri because the winters are just too cold.

745
00:30:03,780 --> 00:30:05,980
Because the climates are still, yeah.

746
00:30:05,980 --> 00:30:11,380
But given enough time and you'll get armadillos that will either hibernate or migrate.

747
00:30:11,380 --> 00:30:11,980
Yeah.

748
00:30:11,980 --> 00:30:13,980
And they'll move into that territory too.

749
00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:17,780
And armadillos are nasty on a lot of different levels.

750
00:30:17,780 --> 00:30:23,580
One, they'll make your lawn overnight look like you not only plowed it, but diced it.

751
00:30:23,580 --> 00:30:25,980
They have these amazing digging front claws.

752
00:30:25,980 --> 00:30:29,980
They're just these massive backhoe type front feet.

753
00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:31,780
And they look for these, they're kind of like moles.

754
00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:35,980
They look for these grubs and other little things in the soil that they eat.

755
00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:38,980
Yeah, like moles and what's the other one, hedgehogs.

756
00:30:38,980 --> 00:30:40,380
Hedgehogs, yeah.

757
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:44,180
So they go and they sip through your whole lawn overnight.

758
00:30:44,180 --> 00:30:44,780
Yeah.

759
00:30:44,780 --> 00:30:48,380
And my friend David lives down in Stockton, he's had a horrible time with it.

760
00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:51,780
He said you have to get a clean kill on them otherwise they come after you.

761
00:30:51,780 --> 00:30:57,180
These docile little creatures, he went up and anyhow he woke up and his whole fucking

762
00:30:57,180 --> 00:30:59,580
land was plowed, he's like, shit.

763
00:30:59,580 --> 00:31:02,780
So he goes and he gets his shotgun and he finds a little fucker.

764
00:31:02,780 --> 00:31:03,380
So he goes over.

765
00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:05,780
Shotgun's not going to be so good.

766
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:08,980
Well, I guess it was looking out when he shot it so he winged it.

767
00:31:08,980 --> 00:31:11,980
He said this thing jumped in the air and fucking came at him.

768
00:31:11,980 --> 00:31:12,580
Wow.

769
00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:17,580
Yeah, he said the thing was madder than hell and he said he had to run like fuck, get behind

770
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:22,380
a tree and then when it went on the ground he had to stick the barrel of the gun in between

771
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,980
its armor and blow its head off like that.

772
00:31:24,980 --> 00:31:25,980
Yeah.

773
00:31:25,980 --> 00:31:26,580
Yeah.

774
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:28,780
Shotgun pellets are going to bounce a lot of the time.

775
00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:31,380
And if it's illegal to kill them, I'm lying about all of this.

776
00:31:31,380 --> 00:31:32,580
My friend did not do it.

777
00:31:32,580 --> 00:31:34,780
No, they are legal to kill.

778
00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:36,780
They're considered an invasive species.

779
00:31:36,780 --> 00:31:37,780
Okay, then yeah.

780
00:31:37,780 --> 00:31:43,380
So you can kill it, no limit on methods or how many or any of that stuff.

781
00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:46,380
And down in Stockton, let's face it, they don't give a shit.

782
00:31:46,380 --> 00:31:46,780
No.

783
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:48,180
Someone probably wants it for food.

784
00:31:48,180 --> 00:31:49,180
Yeah, yeah.

785
00:31:49,180 --> 00:31:50,780
Even though they can give you, what is it?

786
00:31:50,780 --> 00:31:51,380
Leprosy.

787
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:51,780
Leprosy?

788
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:52,580
Is it leprosy?

789
00:31:52,580 --> 00:31:53,380
Yeah.

790
00:31:53,380 --> 00:31:53,780
Oh my God.

791
00:31:53,780 --> 00:31:58,380
Or the proper term, I guess, anymore is Hansen's disease, but yeah, leprosy.

792
00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,580
Seriously, is that a thing?

793
00:32:00,580 --> 00:32:01,980
I've heard it called that before.

794
00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:02,580
Yeah, yeah.

795
00:32:02,580 --> 00:32:03,780
Why don't you call it Hansen's disease?

796
00:32:03,780 --> 00:32:04,780
Hansen's.

797
00:32:04,780 --> 00:32:10,380
Typically a disease is named after the doctor or the patient where it's first isolated.

798
00:32:10,380 --> 00:32:11,180
Okay.

799
00:32:11,180 --> 00:32:19,780
Like Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrig's, Hansen's disease, Huntington's Korea is named after

800
00:32:19,780 --> 00:32:21,380
some guy named Huntington.

801
00:32:21,380 --> 00:32:24,980
So it's, you know, rather than have a name like, you know.

802
00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:26,380
I want Lipschitz disease.

803
00:32:26,380 --> 00:32:29,180
I want Dr. Lipschitz to fucking find something.

804
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:29,780
I go, what do you got?

805
00:32:29,780 --> 00:32:30,980
I got Lipschitz.

806
00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:31,980
Yeah.

807
00:32:31,980 --> 00:32:33,780
No, I got Lipschitz.

808
00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:36,380
Yeah, we can't call it tennis elbow anymore.

809
00:32:36,380 --> 00:32:39,780
It's Lipschitz disease.

810
00:32:39,780 --> 00:32:43,780
So I've heard that leprosy is pretty difficult to catch.

811
00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:45,980
It takes a lot of exposure.

812
00:32:45,980 --> 00:32:53,980
So pretty much the guys who make a living out of slaughtering and rendering armadillos

813
00:32:53,980 --> 00:32:57,380
are prone to getting leprosy after like 10 or 15 years.

814
00:32:57,380 --> 00:32:59,580
So it takes a lot of exposure.

815
00:32:59,580 --> 00:33:02,380
Now, I mean, what could they use an armadillo for?

816
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:04,980
Are there oils in it that they use or?

817
00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:12,780
I've heard mostly there's some meat in it and then the bodies themselves can be sold

818
00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:13,780
as tourist traps.

819
00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:15,180
So people do eat the meat.

820
00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:16,180
Yeah, they're edible.

821
00:33:16,180 --> 00:33:18,180
They don't taste very good.

822
00:33:18,180 --> 00:33:19,180
I wouldn't eat one.

823
00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:21,980
Yeah, scavenger type animals generally don't taste all that good.

824
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,380
No, they taste like what they eat.

825
00:33:23,380 --> 00:33:24,380
Yeah.

826
00:33:24,380 --> 00:33:25,380
Grub worms.

827
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:26,780
Predators don't taste all that good either.

828
00:33:26,780 --> 00:33:27,780
No, no.

829
00:33:27,780 --> 00:33:30,380
It's the herbivores, the plant eaters.

830
00:33:30,380 --> 00:33:32,580
Those ones are the ones that taste good.

831
00:33:32,580 --> 00:33:34,380
Like tasty cattle.

832
00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:35,380
Yes.

833
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:36,380
Yeah.

834
00:33:36,380 --> 00:33:37,380
Yeah.

835
00:33:37,380 --> 00:33:40,380
We need to talk to the girls and have another Jess and Jim's night.

836
00:33:40,380 --> 00:33:41,380
Oh, yeah.

837
00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:44,080
I'll go for one of their steak burgers or maybe even a steak.

838
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,380
I could go for a steak, really.

839
00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:47,380
Yeah.

840
00:33:47,380 --> 00:33:48,380
Pretty yummy.

841
00:33:48,380 --> 00:33:50,380
I mean, pork chops last night, they were...

842
00:33:50,380 --> 00:33:52,380
I overcooked them just a little.

843
00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:53,380
They're a little dry.

844
00:33:53,380 --> 00:33:54,380
Oh, well.

845
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:55,380
Jealous.

846
00:33:55,380 --> 00:33:56,380
Yeah.

847
00:33:56,380 --> 00:33:58,380
Did you bread them or did you grill them?

848
00:33:58,380 --> 00:34:02,380
I just sitting here marinated them in this brown sugar bourbon mix.

849
00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:03,380
Oh.

850
00:34:03,380 --> 00:34:05,380
And then I put them on.

851
00:34:05,380 --> 00:34:08,380
I got one of those little tiny Weber grills.

852
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:09,380
It's like 16 inches around.

853
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:10,380
The kind that what's his name?

854
00:34:10,380 --> 00:34:11,380
Killed himself with?

855
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:12,380
Yes.

856
00:34:12,380 --> 00:34:13,380
Yeah, Brad Delp from Boston.

857
00:34:13,380 --> 00:34:14,380
You got a Brad Delp?

858
00:34:14,380 --> 00:34:15,380
I got a Brad Delp.

859
00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:16,380
You cooked them on a Brad Delp?

860
00:34:16,380 --> 00:34:17,380
Yes.

861
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:18,380
Okay, good.

862
00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:19,380
So disrespectful.

863
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:20,380
I know.

864
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:23,380
Sorry I took it there.

865
00:34:23,380 --> 00:34:26,380
Well, we are two douchebags.

866
00:34:26,380 --> 00:34:27,380
We are, yeah.

867
00:34:27,380 --> 00:34:28,380
You know what?

868
00:34:28,380 --> 00:34:29,380
It's all in our name.

869
00:34:29,380 --> 00:34:30,380
Hey, how are you all doing?

870
00:34:30,380 --> 00:34:31,380
Hey, you guys got anything you want to say?

871
00:34:31,380 --> 00:34:32,380
Two douchebags and a microphone.

872
00:34:32,380 --> 00:34:33,380
Yep.

873
00:34:33,380 --> 00:34:34,380
Yep.

874
00:34:34,380 --> 00:34:37,380
The two douchebags are us and this is the microphone.

875
00:34:37,380 --> 00:34:38,380
Larry and Roy Curly.

876
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:39,380
Yeah, there you go.

877
00:34:39,380 --> 00:34:40,380
Yeah.

878
00:34:40,380 --> 00:34:41,380
Yeah, pretty much.

879
00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:42,380
Where is Curly?

880
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:45,380
Oh, we'll call him here in a little bit.

881
00:34:45,380 --> 00:34:46,380
Yeah, here we go.

882
00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:48,380
I did remember the Bluetooth finally.

883
00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:51,380
Oh, excellent.

884
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:54,380
I learned how Bluetooth got its name.

885
00:34:54,380 --> 00:34:56,380
Yeah, that's interesting.

886
00:34:56,380 --> 00:34:57,380
How did it get its name?

887
00:34:57,380 --> 00:34:58,380
There was a...

888
00:34:58,380 --> 00:34:59,380
Oh, good.

889
00:34:59,380 --> 00:35:00,380
I did remember to recharge it.

890
00:35:00,380 --> 00:35:12,380
There was a king or some leader of some country and he had a reputation as someone who could

891
00:35:12,380 --> 00:35:23,460
get separate parties to come together and talk, basically build connections between

892
00:35:23,460 --> 00:35:25,380
countries and people who weren't talking.

893
00:35:25,380 --> 00:35:34,380
So, he was very good at connectivity and his nickname was Bluetooth.

894
00:35:34,380 --> 00:35:41,380
When the creators of this Bluetooth technology were looking for a name, one of them decided,

895
00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:46,380
you know, well, hey, let's just honor this guy from the 1500s or something.

896
00:35:46,380 --> 00:35:50,380
I guess he had a tooth that was kind of blue.

897
00:35:50,380 --> 00:35:57,380
So, that's why it's called Bluetooth in honor of this 16th century ruler who was good at

898
00:35:57,380 --> 00:35:59,380
getting people together to connect to the network.

899
00:35:59,380 --> 00:36:01,380
And also, he can't come back and go, you named it after me.

900
00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:03,380
No, no, he can't too.

901
00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:04,380
That's awesome.

902
00:36:04,380 --> 00:36:06,380
I always wonder what a weird name, Bluetooth.

903
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:09,380
So, it really is named after a Bluetooth.

904
00:36:09,380 --> 00:36:11,380
I'll be damned.

905
00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:12,380
Wow.

906
00:36:12,380 --> 00:36:13,380
Wow.

907
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:16,380
So, I got a whole bunch of stuff about sleep.

908
00:36:16,380 --> 00:36:18,380
We want to get into that at some point.

909
00:36:18,380 --> 00:36:20,380
I promise not to put you to sleep.

910
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,380
Oh, no, no.

911
00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:25,380
Should we maybe do a deer douchebag?

912
00:36:25,380 --> 00:36:27,380
Yes, let's do a deer douchebag.

913
00:36:27,380 --> 00:36:29,380
Okay, all right.

914
00:36:35,380 --> 00:36:36,380
Hey, look.

915
00:36:36,380 --> 00:36:37,380
I think we found land.

916
00:36:37,380 --> 00:36:38,380
Oh, my God.

917
00:36:38,380 --> 00:36:39,380
I think we're safe.

918
00:36:39,380 --> 00:36:40,380
Oh, no.

919
00:36:40,380 --> 00:36:43,380
It's the island of horrible jokes.

920
00:36:43,380 --> 00:36:50,380
What did the coach say to the vending machine?

921
00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,380
Give me my quarterback.

922
00:36:52,380 --> 00:37:01,380
If you enjoy two douchebags and a microphone, you'll definitely enjoy a shovel to the head.

923
00:37:01,380 --> 00:37:05,380
You're all aware of the Amber Alert, right?

924
00:37:05,380 --> 00:37:09,380
Well, get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bedspreads, kids.

925
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:11,380
It's the all-new Amber Heard Alert system.

926
00:37:11,380 --> 00:37:17,380
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying mattress invoices.

927
00:37:17,380 --> 00:37:22,380
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

928
00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:29,380
This clever machine has three distinct settings, babbling brook, ocean waves, and roaring river for those close calls.

929
00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:33,380
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It cartridge.

930
00:37:33,380 --> 00:37:43,380
Two Shirley Temples and a bottle of scotch will be right back.

931
00:37:43,380 --> 00:37:50,380
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags.

932
00:37:50,380 --> 00:37:57,380
Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in three, two, one.

933
00:37:57,380 --> 00:37:58,380
And a microphone.

934
00:37:58,380 --> 00:37:59,380
I'm Mark.

935
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:00,380
I'm Topher.

936
00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:01,380
All right.

937
00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,380
We are your source for all things douchebaggery.

938
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:04,380
Yes, we are.

939
00:38:04,380 --> 00:38:05,380
Yay.

940
00:38:05,380 --> 00:38:08,380
And also, I'd like to thank everybody for listening.

941
00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:11,380
The numbers, I mean, our numbers were never terrible.

942
00:38:11,380 --> 00:38:15,380
We always had good numbers, but our numbers have exploded over the last few years.

943
00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:19,380
I think a lot of it has to do with our nice, beautiful banner here,

944
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:23,380
which I'm going to take a picture of in post before we call Rob Radd a little bit later.

945
00:38:23,380 --> 00:38:29,380
So anyhow, dear douchebags, I have a very serious problem.

946
00:38:29,380 --> 00:38:32,380
Well, my friend likes to order kale whenever we go out.

947
00:38:32,380 --> 00:38:34,380
One of those.

948
00:38:34,380 --> 00:38:35,380
Yeah, yeah.

949
00:38:35,380 --> 00:38:38,380
This is going to be tough already, I can tell you that right now.

950
00:38:38,380 --> 00:38:40,380
I'm going to try taking the condom off the microphone.

951
00:38:40,380 --> 00:38:41,380
The wind has died down.

952
00:38:41,380 --> 00:38:42,380
Oh, good.

953
00:38:42,380 --> 00:38:45,380
I mean, because, I mean, kale is one of those unforgivable acts.

954
00:38:45,380 --> 00:38:46,380
Oh, yeah.

955
00:38:46,380 --> 00:38:47,380
I don't know what you can do with a person.

956
00:38:47,380 --> 00:38:48,380
That's like crime against humanity.

957
00:38:48,380 --> 00:38:49,380
Yeah.

958
00:38:49,380 --> 00:38:53,380
I mean, how can you ever, like, look at them as the same when they order kale,

959
00:38:53,380 --> 00:38:54,380
and they do it right in front of you?

960
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,380
Yeah.

961
00:38:55,380 --> 00:38:58,380
And just hearing them say that word, you know, in polite company,

962
00:38:58,380 --> 00:39:01,380
it's like, it's like yelling fistfuck real loud.

963
00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:03,380
I got tears running down my face right now.

964
00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:06,380
I'd rather hear somebody yell fistfuck right in my ear than say the word kale.

965
00:39:06,380 --> 00:39:08,380
I would do a hundred times than one word of kale.

966
00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,380
Yeah.

967
00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:11,380
Harbed wire fistfuck.

968
00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:12,380
Still better than kale.

969
00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:14,380
Better than kale.

970
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:16,380
Bamboo splints up the asshole.

971
00:39:16,380 --> 00:39:18,380
Still better than kale.

972
00:39:18,380 --> 00:39:21,380
The, the boll weevil clap cure.

973
00:39:21,380 --> 00:39:22,380
Better than kale.

974
00:39:22,380 --> 00:39:24,380
And that's the glass rod.

975
00:39:24,380 --> 00:39:27,380
The glass rod that you smash.

976
00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:28,380
Oh.

977
00:39:28,380 --> 00:39:30,380
When my buddy told me that, I was like, oh.

978
00:39:30,380 --> 00:39:33,380
I'm about vomited when he told me that.

979
00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:37,380
Think about the person whose job it was to make those glass rods.

980
00:39:37,380 --> 00:39:38,380
What am I doing this for?

981
00:39:38,380 --> 00:39:42,380
Well, we have this thing out there called the boll weevil clap.

982
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,380
Daddy, what do you do for a living?

983
00:39:44,380 --> 00:39:45,380
Never mind.

984
00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:46,380
I'll talk to you about it later.

985
00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:47,380
I'm a, I'm a crossing guard.

986
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:48,380
Go away.

987
00:39:48,380 --> 00:39:49,380
Yeah.

988
00:39:49,380 --> 00:39:50,380
Yeah.

989
00:39:50,380 --> 00:39:53,380
Now get the hell out of here before I kick your ass.

990
00:39:53,380 --> 00:39:54,380
I'm a kale salesman.

991
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:55,380
Oh.

992
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:56,380
Oh.

993
00:39:56,380 --> 00:39:57,380
Oh my God.

994
00:39:57,380 --> 00:39:58,380
That'd be worse.

995
00:39:58,380 --> 00:39:59,380
Daddy, I'm sorry, but you're an idiot.

996
00:39:59,380 --> 00:40:00,380
I've got to leave.

997
00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:01,380
I can't, I can't be around this.

998
00:40:01,380 --> 00:40:02,380
Call Child Welfare Services immediately.

999
00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:03,380
You're the kid would.

1000
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:04,380
Oh my God.

1001
00:40:04,380 --> 00:40:05,380
And he's like, oh, the shovel.

1002
00:40:05,380 --> 00:40:06,380
Can we help you son?

1003
00:40:06,380 --> 00:40:07,380
Son, can you?

1004
00:40:07,380 --> 00:40:08,380
My dad's a kale salesman.

1005
00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,380
We'll be right there.

1006
00:40:09,380 --> 00:40:10,380
He said the K word in front of me.

1007
00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:11,380
It's so fun to have something that's that bad.

1008
00:40:11,380 --> 00:40:12,380
We're never going to stop it either.

1009
00:40:12,380 --> 00:40:13,380
No.

1010
00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:14,380
I'm going to stop it.

1011
00:40:14,380 --> 00:40:15,380
I'm going to stop it.

1012
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:16,380
I'm going to stop it.

1013
00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:17,380
I'm going to stop it.

1014
00:40:17,380 --> 00:40:18,380
I'm going to stop it.

1015
00:40:18,380 --> 00:40:19,380
I'm going to stop it.

1016
00:40:19,380 --> 00:40:20,380
I'm going to stop it.

1017
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:27,380
I'm going to stop it.

1018
00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:28,380
We're never going to stop it either.

1019
00:40:28,380 --> 00:40:29,380
I've even had a couple people say something to me like kale's not that bad.

1020
00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:30,820
I'm like, stop with the stupidity.

1021
00:40:30,820 --> 00:40:32,460
Stop it right now.

1022
00:40:32,460 --> 00:40:36,660
You know that someone has been brainwashed by the kale aliens.

1023
00:40:36,660 --> 00:40:41,460
Yeah, the kale aliens are here on earth and they look like people and they're here to

1024
00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:42,460
play this big joke.

1025
00:40:42,460 --> 00:40:46,540
I mean, it's like they have this big video camera and every time someone eats kale they

1026
00:40:46,540 --> 00:40:47,820
laugh at us.

1027
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:52,580
There's also a theory that, oops, better put the condom back on the mic.

1028
00:40:52,580 --> 00:40:54,060
It's getting windy again.

1029
00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:57,260
There's also a theory that the kale is actually a toxic waste.

1030
00:40:57,260 --> 00:41:00,540
There we go, microphone condom.

1031
00:41:00,540 --> 00:41:03,260
Toxic waste for this planet and they're just dumping it on us.

1032
00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,020
You know, that could be it.

1033
00:41:05,020 --> 00:41:06,820
I bet you it is a toxic waste.

1034
00:41:06,820 --> 00:41:09,180
They're like, look, these idiots are eating up.

1035
00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:11,100
That's what China does with their exports.

1036
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:13,820
They just put radiation and lead and all pesticides.

1037
00:41:13,820 --> 00:41:14,820
I know, everything.

1038
00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:15,820
Here you go.

1039
00:41:15,820 --> 00:41:16,820
They dump it into whatever, kids toys, wall board.

1040
00:41:16,820 --> 00:41:20,820
Well, it's already been proven, but people still buy their shit.

1041
00:41:20,820 --> 00:41:21,820
Yeah.

1042
00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:26,580
You know, I won't buy a single thing from China that I feed to my dogs.

1043
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:27,580
No.

1044
00:41:27,580 --> 00:41:28,580
Not one.

1045
00:41:28,580 --> 00:41:29,580
No.

1046
00:41:29,580 --> 00:41:31,740
And I'll put it like this, if our government really gave a shit about us, they would be

1047
00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:35,100
actively doing something about this, but they're not.

1048
00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:38,780
No, because they're probably getting away with the same shit somewhere else so they

1049
00:41:38,780 --> 00:41:39,780
can't say boo.

1050
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:41,380
Yeah, exactly.

1051
00:41:41,380 --> 00:41:42,380
They know too much.

1052
00:41:42,380 --> 00:41:43,380
China's like, go ahead.

1053
00:41:43,380 --> 00:41:46,460
Well, we'll just expose you when you did this to this river.

1054
00:41:46,460 --> 00:41:51,460
There was a Van Halen video, and I remember a line in there that was printed on the screen.

1055
00:41:51,460 --> 00:41:57,100
The song was Right Now, and the line was, right now, our government is doing things

1056
00:41:57,100 --> 00:42:00,540
that we think only other governments do.

1057
00:42:00,540 --> 00:42:01,540
That's right.

1058
00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:02,540
That is exactly true.

1059
00:42:02,540 --> 00:42:05,660
Because that's when Sammy went off on the diatribe that the American dream is over.

1060
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:08,060
He got in a lot of shit over that, but he was correct.

1061
00:42:08,060 --> 00:42:11,940
Well, the American dream was a lie to begin with.

1062
00:42:11,940 --> 00:42:16,420
Buy a car and a house and have kids, it's so we could spend money.

1063
00:42:16,420 --> 00:42:22,860
It was to prop up the car industry, the construction industry, the real estate industry, get a

1064
00:42:22,860 --> 00:42:25,740
whole bunch of us paying real estate taxes.

1065
00:42:25,740 --> 00:42:27,860
Average 2.4 kids, a house in the suburbs.

1066
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:31,820
It was all something sold to us and told we should want this.

1067
00:42:31,820 --> 00:42:35,380
We were told we should want this, if you're normal, you want this.

1068
00:42:35,380 --> 00:42:37,180
And they turned us on.

1069
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:42,020
And probably one of the reasons the gay community was so shunned.

1070
00:42:42,020 --> 00:42:43,980
They're like, oh, they're not having kids.

1071
00:42:43,980 --> 00:42:44,980
Exactly.

1072
00:42:44,980 --> 00:42:50,540
They didn't fit the profile of people who'd be spending along these lines because they

1073
00:42:50,540 --> 00:42:53,340
couldn't have a burgeoning family.

1074
00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:57,140
Until they figure out how to advertise to them.

1075
00:42:57,140 --> 00:42:59,620
All of a sudden it's like, oh, all welcome.

1076
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:04,500
Like the new Google Fiber commercial that has the Translator on it.

1077
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:08,820
That wouldn't have happened years ago because they didn't know what they could sell to them.

1078
00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:10,620
Now all of a sudden it's like, oh yeah, let's do one.

1079
00:43:10,620 --> 00:43:12,180
Because they know they can sell to them.

1080
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:16,140
And that's the important thing to remember, especially in this whole Bud Light thing.

1081
00:43:16,140 --> 00:43:18,180
Bud Light is not into activism.

1082
00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:20,180
They're into marketing.

1083
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:23,100
They're trying to sell beer and that's all they care about.

1084
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:27,020
Although because of their clientele it has hurt them considerably.

1085
00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:31,660
But like I said to Topher, I think last week, I go into Walmart.

1086
00:43:31,660 --> 00:43:33,380
Maybe I said it on air, I can't remember.

1087
00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:37,900
But I go into Walmart and all the Bud Lights there, not one touched.

1088
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:41,700
Right next to it is Natural Light and it's almost all gone.

1089
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:44,820
Now who makes these?

1090
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:47,140
And Heizer Busch makes both of them.

1091
00:43:47,140 --> 00:43:48,140
So they're over there laughing.

1092
00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:52,180
They're like, hey, Bud Light ain't selling but Natural Light is going off the shelves

1093
00:43:52,180 --> 00:43:54,340
at an alarming rate.

1094
00:43:54,340 --> 00:44:00,940
And I see articles saying, you know, Bud Light has lost six billion in revenue since this

1095
00:44:00,940 --> 00:44:01,940
thing.

1096
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:05,740
Well, it's not like the parent company InBev has lost six billion.

1097
00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:10,700
Because a lot of that six billion was spent on other brands that are still in Heizer Busch

1098
00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:11,700
that these people just don't realize.

1099
00:44:11,700 --> 00:44:15,100
And they even own craft breweries that people have no idea about.

1100
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:22,260
The list, if you ever get a chance, go on Google and ask Google what are all the companies

1101
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:25,060
that they own and are affiliated with.

1102
00:44:25,060 --> 00:44:27,300
And you'll be like, what?

1103
00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,660
You know, I mean, yeah, there's like a lot of craft breweries.

1104
00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:32,660
I forgot who they were, but they're ones that you still view as independent.

1105
00:44:32,660 --> 00:44:34,140
But they're not.

1106
00:44:34,140 --> 00:44:42,140
Like Ford at one point owned Maserati and Volvo and various other brands.

1107
00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:48,940
And like imagine if Maserati made some ad blunder and no one would buy Maserati's anymore.

1108
00:44:48,940 --> 00:44:53,900
And they say, oh, Maserati has lost 20 million in sales.

1109
00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:58,420
But if all those people went and bought a Lincoln instead, Ford still gets the money.

1110
00:44:58,420 --> 00:44:59,860
So it doesn't matter anyway.

1111
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:01,860
And Lincoln looks over there and capitalizes on it.

1112
00:45:01,860 --> 00:45:04,380
It's like, all right, well, they're just going to buy a different car because we're going

1113
00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:05,380
to do this.

1114
00:45:05,380 --> 00:45:09,820
But Ford will still say, oh, look at all this revenue we lost.

1115
00:45:09,820 --> 00:45:10,820
We're hurting.

1116
00:45:10,820 --> 00:45:11,820
Poor us.

1117
00:45:11,820 --> 00:45:12,820
And then take a tax write off.

1118
00:45:12,820 --> 00:45:15,580
Yes, they take a tax write off.

1119
00:45:15,580 --> 00:45:16,700
It's insane how it works.

1120
00:45:16,700 --> 00:45:21,620
Even when the companies are whining and complaining and squealing, they're still OK.

1121
00:45:21,620 --> 00:45:22,780
They're still getting a tax write off.

1122
00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:25,420
It's all being counterspeak.

1123
00:45:25,420 --> 00:45:26,860
They're still getting tax write off.

1124
00:45:26,860 --> 00:45:30,660
All of this is just trying to illustrate how they need help.

1125
00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:36,020
Anytime a company starts saying, oh, poor us, poor us, I call bullshit immediately every

1126
00:45:36,020 --> 00:45:37,020
time.

1127
00:45:37,020 --> 00:45:38,020
Yes.

1128
00:45:38,020 --> 00:45:39,020
It's just like all the bailouts.

1129
00:45:39,020 --> 00:45:41,900
I bet you most of those car companies didn't need a dime.

1130
00:45:41,900 --> 00:45:42,900
No, Ford didn't.

1131
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:43,900
It's free money.

1132
00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:45,660
No, Ford didn't even take it.

1133
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:46,660
No.

1134
00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:50,900
But Ford was smart about it because there's such a backlash from the conservative market

1135
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,020
about that that they're like, you know what?

1136
00:45:53,020 --> 00:45:57,340
We estimated like 70% of our sales come from conservative families.

1137
00:45:57,340 --> 00:45:58,340
Don't take it.

1138
00:45:58,340 --> 00:45:59,340
Yep.

1139
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,700
They didn't take it and it worked out tremendously for them.

1140
00:46:01,700 --> 00:46:02,700
It did.

1141
00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:06,860
And if there had been a second company that didn't take it, it would have failed for Ford.

1142
00:46:06,860 --> 00:46:07,860
Yes.

1143
00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:10,060
But it only worked for Ford because they were the only one.

1144
00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:11,860
So when the thing, when all the dust set.

1145
00:46:11,860 --> 00:46:12,860
Well, their trucks are F-150s.

1146
00:46:12,860 --> 00:46:19,620
A lot of conservatives buy those.

1147
00:46:19,620 --> 00:46:20,620
Now it seems to be Rams.

1148
00:46:20,620 --> 00:46:21,620
They seem to be into Rams.

1149
00:46:21,620 --> 00:46:22,620
Have you noticed that?

1150
00:46:22,620 --> 00:46:23,620
Uh-huh.

1151
00:46:23,620 --> 00:46:24,620
Yeah.

1152
00:46:24,620 --> 00:46:25,620
The big Rams.

1153
00:46:25,620 --> 00:46:26,620
Going after the Italian trucks.

1154
00:46:26,620 --> 00:46:27,620
Yeah.

1155
00:46:27,620 --> 00:46:28,620
The Italian trucks.

1156
00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:29,620
Seriously.

1157
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:30,620
Do you mean?

1158
00:46:30,620 --> 00:46:31,620
It just comes from over there.

1159
00:46:31,620 --> 00:46:37,100
Do people really think Dodge, Chrysler, Jeep, Ram is an American company anymore?

1160
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:40,780
I bought my Jeep knowing fully well it is Italian.

1161
00:46:40,780 --> 00:46:41,780
I don't care.

1162
00:46:41,780 --> 00:46:45,100
I still love my Jeeps and I would love to see where all these other ones have their

1163
00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:46,660
money going too.

1164
00:46:46,660 --> 00:46:47,660
Yeah.

1165
00:46:47,660 --> 00:46:48,660
Engines built overseas.

1166
00:46:48,660 --> 00:46:49,660
Yeah.

1167
00:46:49,660 --> 00:46:50,900
It's not like it used to be.

1168
00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:56,940
Well, like the Ford Ranger that's sold in Europe was designed in Australia and built

1169
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:58,900
in South Africa.

1170
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:03,060
But Ford is still considered an American car company because that's where the headquarters

1171
00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:04,060
are.

1172
00:47:04,060 --> 00:47:05,060
Yes.

1173
00:47:05,060 --> 00:47:08,860
Dodge headquarters are in Italy at Fiat.

1174
00:47:08,860 --> 00:47:09,860
Yes.

1175
00:47:09,860 --> 00:47:14,580
Because Fiat owns every Dodge, Ram, Chrysler, all those Rams.

1176
00:47:14,580 --> 00:47:17,220
So it's not an American car company.

1177
00:47:17,220 --> 00:47:19,140
It doesn't matter that they make them here.

1178
00:47:19,140 --> 00:47:20,380
Honda makes cars here.

1179
00:47:20,380 --> 00:47:21,380
Yeah.

1180
00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:22,380
Toyota makes cars here.

1181
00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:24,020
I bet their percentages are really close too.

1182
00:47:24,020 --> 00:47:25,020
Yeah.

1183
00:47:25,020 --> 00:47:30,980
I know of quite a few Honda factories like I do the domestic or supposed domestic ones.

1184
00:47:30,980 --> 00:47:35,780
You know, there's a lot of Honda plants I know here in America where they're at.

1185
00:47:35,780 --> 00:47:36,780
Yeah.

1186
00:47:36,780 --> 00:47:38,220
Just like I know where there's a lot of Ford plants.

1187
00:47:38,220 --> 00:47:41,020
So there can't be that much difference.

1188
00:47:41,020 --> 00:47:42,020
Yeah.

1189
00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:47,420
A Panasonic was an American brand that was sold to a Japanese company.

1190
00:47:47,420 --> 00:47:48,420
Yes.

1191
00:47:48,420 --> 00:47:52,420
But people immediately said, okay, now it's a Japanese brand.

1192
00:47:52,420 --> 00:47:58,140
But Dodge gets a pass from their fanboys because they don't want to believe that it's no longer

1193
00:47:58,140 --> 00:47:59,260
an American company.

1194
00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:00,540
That's a good way of putting it.

1195
00:48:00,540 --> 00:48:01,540
Yeah.

1196
00:48:01,540 --> 00:48:03,020
You know, they want to keep that on the down low.

1197
00:48:03,020 --> 00:48:04,020
Yeah.

1198
00:48:04,020 --> 00:48:06,180
And then if anyone says anything, oh, is that true?

1199
00:48:06,180 --> 00:48:07,780
I didn't know that.

1200
00:48:07,780 --> 00:48:08,780
Yeah.

1201
00:48:08,780 --> 00:48:09,780
Yeah.

1202
00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:14,460
And you'll even see in their ads, they never claimed to be an American company.

1203
00:48:14,460 --> 00:48:17,500
They say American made because they're built in America.

1204
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:18,500
Yes.

1205
00:48:18,500 --> 00:48:22,380
They say they're not imports because they're built in here, but they're still not an American

1206
00:48:22,380 --> 00:48:23,380
company.

1207
00:48:23,380 --> 00:48:24,380
No.

1208
00:48:24,380 --> 00:48:25,380
The profits go home to Italy.

1209
00:48:25,380 --> 00:48:27,500
The cars are designed in Italy.

1210
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:30,900
All the important decisions are made in Italy by Fiat.

1211
00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:31,900
Yep.

1212
00:48:31,900 --> 00:48:32,900
It's not an American.

1213
00:48:32,900 --> 00:48:37,700
Before it was Fiat, it was owned by an international investment group.

1214
00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:42,460
And before it was owned by them, it was owned by a German company, Daimler.

1215
00:48:42,460 --> 00:48:43,980
Daimler Benz.

1216
00:48:43,980 --> 00:48:50,380
It hasn't been an American company for decades, but people still pretend it's one of the big

1217
00:48:50,380 --> 00:48:51,380
three American car companies.

1218
00:48:51,380 --> 00:48:52,380
It used to be.

1219
00:48:52,380 --> 00:48:53,380
It used to be.

1220
00:48:53,380 --> 00:48:54,380
It hasn't been for a while.

1221
00:48:54,380 --> 00:48:55,380
It is a while.

1222
00:48:55,380 --> 00:48:56,380
Yeah.

1223
00:48:56,380 --> 00:48:57,380
Dear Douchebags.

1224
00:48:57,380 --> 00:48:58,380
Oh, I'm sorry.

1225
00:48:58,380 --> 00:49:01,380
Sorry, I just had to look down.

1226
00:49:01,380 --> 00:49:02,380
Okay.

1227
00:49:02,380 --> 00:49:05,780
Okay, we're going to reset this whole thing.

1228
00:49:05,780 --> 00:49:06,780
Okay.

1229
00:49:06,780 --> 00:49:07,780
All right.

1230
00:49:07,780 --> 00:49:10,380
Dear Douchebags, I have a very serious problem.

1231
00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:13,380
Will my friend likes to order kale when we go out?

1232
00:49:13,380 --> 00:49:17,380
Oh yeah, I forgot we were talking about kale.

1233
00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:21,500
We literally went everywhere all over the world except kale.

1234
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:22,740
I really like this person.

1235
00:49:22,740 --> 00:49:28,220
We have been friends for a long time, but quite frankly, to be sat down with a person

1236
00:49:28,220 --> 00:49:30,780
dumb enough to fall for the kale hoax, it's unbearable.

1237
00:49:30,780 --> 00:49:32,380
Well, that would be, yeah.

1238
00:49:32,380 --> 00:49:34,020
I'm going to kill my association.

1239
00:49:34,020 --> 00:49:35,020
Can you imagine that?

1240
00:49:35,020 --> 00:49:37,100
They are sitting down for a meal and then they order it.

1241
00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:38,100
Yeah.

1242
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,100
I mean, I would have got up and left.

1243
00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:40,100
It's like sitting next to a flat urfer.

1244
00:49:40,100 --> 00:49:41,100
You know?

1245
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,100
Yeah, yeah.

1246
00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:43,100
I would have laughed.

1247
00:49:43,100 --> 00:49:44,100
Holocaust denier.

1248
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:46,780
As soon as that word came out of their mouth, I would have been like, excuse me.

1249
00:49:46,780 --> 00:49:48,500
No, don't excuse me.

1250
00:49:48,500 --> 00:49:49,500
No.

1251
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:50,500
Yeah, no.

1252
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,500
Signed, no kale in Springdale.

1253
00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:53,500
I like that.

1254
00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:54,500
Another great name.

1255
00:49:54,500 --> 00:49:55,500
Yeah.

1256
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:56,500
These guys are good, aren't they?

1257
00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:57,500
They are.

1258
00:49:57,500 --> 00:49:59,500
They are involved with these things.

1259
00:49:59,500 --> 00:50:00,500
Okay.

1260
00:50:00,500 --> 00:50:07,500
Dear no kale, well, my first thought was to point out that the kale on one's plate sure

1261
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:11,980
makes you look like a follower and a very gullible, but perhaps you should just take

1262
00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:16,060
the little hints of life throws at you and go with it.

1263
00:50:16,060 --> 00:50:17,900
Because you know, it makes you look like gullible.

1264
00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:18,900
Oh, yeah.

1265
00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:19,900
Yeah.

1266
00:50:19,900 --> 00:50:23,380
And it makes you, you know, look like you'll fall for anything.

1267
00:50:23,380 --> 00:50:24,380
Yeah.

1268
00:50:24,380 --> 00:50:25,380
Well, that's true.

1269
00:50:25,380 --> 00:50:29,460
So you can use that to your advantage.

1270
00:50:29,460 --> 00:50:30,460
Yeah.

1271
00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:31,460
Yeah, you can.

1272
00:50:31,460 --> 00:50:32,460
Sorry.

1273
00:50:32,460 --> 00:50:33,460
Some people are marveling over this.

1274
00:50:33,460 --> 00:50:34,460
Yeah, sure.

1275
00:50:34,460 --> 00:50:35,460
Absolutely.

1276
00:50:35,460 --> 00:50:36,460
Thanks, guys.

1277
00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:37,460
Thank you.

1278
00:50:37,460 --> 00:50:42,460
I'm going to do a good podcast.

1279
00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:45,180
And yeah, please do, man.

1280
00:50:45,180 --> 00:50:46,180
Thank you.

1281
00:50:46,180 --> 00:50:47,180
You got anything you want to say?

1282
00:50:47,180 --> 00:50:52,180
We were at the draft this weekend in Kansas City and Kansas City represented very well.

1283
00:50:52,180 --> 00:50:53,180
Hey, thank you.

1284
00:50:53,180 --> 00:50:54,180
Where are you from?

1285
00:50:54,180 --> 00:50:55,180
We're from St. Louis.

1286
00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:56,180
Oh, okay.

1287
00:50:56,180 --> 00:50:57,180
Cool.

1288
00:50:57,180 --> 00:50:58,180
Yeah, it was a great time.

1289
00:50:58,180 --> 00:50:59,180
Everybody here was wonderful.

1290
00:50:59,180 --> 00:51:00,180
We love it here.

1291
00:51:00,180 --> 00:51:01,180
We always appreciate it.

1292
00:51:01,180 --> 00:51:02,180
We love here.

1293
00:51:02,180 --> 00:51:03,180
So yeah, we appreciate the hospitality.

1294
00:51:03,180 --> 00:51:04,180
Thank you.

1295
00:51:04,180 --> 00:51:05,180
Are you a Tease fan?

1296
00:51:05,180 --> 00:51:06,180
I'm not a Tease fan.

1297
00:51:06,180 --> 00:51:07,180
Well, Andy, I'm an E of Philadelphia Eagles fan, but Andy Reid used to be the coach of

1298
00:51:07,180 --> 00:51:08,180
Tease and I like Magic Mahomes.

1299
00:51:08,180 --> 00:51:09,180
So, I'm going to go with Andy Reid.

1300
00:51:09,180 --> 00:51:10,180
Andy Reid is a great guy.

1301
00:51:10,180 --> 00:51:11,180
He's a great guy.

1302
00:51:11,180 --> 00:51:12,180
He's a great guy.

1303
00:51:12,180 --> 00:51:13,180
He's a great guy.

1304
00:51:13,180 --> 00:51:15,180
I love to be a Tease and I like Magic Mahomes.

1305
00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:18,180
So, if any team is going to beat us, I want him to be the Tease.

1306
00:51:18,180 --> 00:51:19,180
So, there you go.

1307
00:51:19,180 --> 00:51:20,180
Yeah, it's hard to not like Mahomes.

1308
00:51:20,180 --> 00:51:21,180
That guy.

1309
00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:22,180
Yeah, Andy Reid is a great coach, man.

1310
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:23,180
He's definitely, the players play hard for him.

1311
00:51:23,180 --> 00:51:24,180
He's a good guy.

1312
00:51:24,180 --> 00:51:25,180
Yeah, they do.

1313
00:51:25,180 --> 00:51:26,180
So, hopefully we're going to rematch next year.

1314
00:51:26,180 --> 00:51:27,180
That would be awesome.

1315
00:51:27,180 --> 00:51:28,180
That would be great.

1316
00:51:28,180 --> 00:51:29,180
I love the two quarterbacks.

1317
00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:30,180
Oh yeah, it was a great game.

1318
00:51:30,180 --> 00:51:31,180
It was interesting the whole, the entire time.

1319
00:51:31,180 --> 00:51:32,180
So, it was definitely one of the highest, higher ranger team goals in my opinion.

1320
00:51:32,180 --> 00:51:33,180
It was a brilliant game.

1321
00:51:33,180 --> 00:51:34,180
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

1322
00:51:34,180 --> 00:51:43,180
Except at the end of the first half.

1323
00:51:43,180 --> 00:51:46,180
When was the first half?

1324
00:51:46,180 --> 00:51:47,180
Oh yeah.

1325
00:51:47,180 --> 00:51:52,180
Yeah, it was a little shaky, but you guys, you can never, like Mahomes and Andy Reid,

1326
00:51:52,180 --> 00:51:53,180
you can never count on them.

1327
00:51:53,180 --> 00:51:54,180
These guys are always in every game.

1328
00:51:54,180 --> 00:51:55,180
Yeah.

1329
00:51:55,180 --> 00:51:56,180
But, all right, well, thanks guys.

1330
00:51:56,180 --> 00:51:57,180
You all take it easy.

1331
00:51:57,180 --> 00:51:58,180
You were very well-cooked in rematch.

1332
00:51:58,180 --> 00:51:59,180
Jalen Hurts is a good player.

1333
00:51:59,180 --> 00:52:00,180
I'm hoping so.

1334
00:52:00,180 --> 00:52:01,180
I'm hoping so.

1335
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:04,180
Well, I love what Mahomes said about him.

1336
00:52:04,180 --> 00:52:07,180
He was like, you know, if there's any question at all, there you go.

1337
00:52:07,180 --> 00:52:08,180
They're the guys.

1338
00:52:08,180 --> 00:52:15,180
I know they both are, Jalen Hurts and Patrick Mahomes are very stand-up guys.

1339
00:52:15,180 --> 00:52:20,180
They represent like what I think an athlete should be all about.

1340
00:52:20,180 --> 00:52:21,180
Absolutely.

1341
00:52:21,180 --> 00:52:24,180
You know, just really, I mean, genuine, genuine guys and good leaders, you know what I mean?

1342
00:52:24,180 --> 00:52:25,180
Yeah.

1343
00:52:25,180 --> 00:52:26,180
So, you need them.

1344
00:52:26,180 --> 00:52:28,180
They both do great things in the community.

1345
00:52:28,180 --> 00:52:29,180
Absolutely.

1346
00:52:29,180 --> 00:52:31,180
They both seem so genuine.

1347
00:52:31,180 --> 00:52:32,180
They are.

1348
00:52:32,180 --> 00:52:33,180
They are.

1349
00:52:33,180 --> 00:52:34,180
They both are.

1350
00:52:34,180 --> 00:52:35,180
So, I mean, it's hard to like either one of them.

1351
00:52:35,180 --> 00:52:36,180
Yeah.

1352
00:52:36,180 --> 00:52:37,180
Exactly.

1353
00:52:37,180 --> 00:52:39,180
And just like Hurts is only going to get better.

1354
00:52:39,180 --> 00:52:40,180
Yeah.

1355
00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:41,180
Oh, yeah.

1356
00:52:41,180 --> 00:52:42,180
I mean, Mahomes gets better every year too.

1357
00:52:42,180 --> 00:52:43,180
I know.

1358
00:52:43,180 --> 00:52:44,180
Sometimes that runs out of way to do it.

1359
00:52:44,180 --> 00:52:45,180
You know?

1360
00:52:45,180 --> 00:52:46,180
They guys are just insane.

1361
00:52:46,180 --> 00:52:49,180
I see him being in the running for MVP every year he's playing for the ball.

1362
00:52:49,180 --> 00:52:50,180
I would agree.

1363
00:52:50,180 --> 00:52:51,180
But thanks a lot to you guys.

1364
00:52:51,180 --> 00:52:52,180
The city was great.

1365
00:52:52,180 --> 00:52:53,180
We love it.

1366
00:52:53,180 --> 00:52:54,180
Come on back here.

1367
00:52:54,180 --> 00:52:55,180
Oh, we will.

1368
00:52:55,180 --> 00:52:56,180
Every time we come back, we visit here.

1369
00:52:56,180 --> 00:52:57,180
But, we're going to be here.

1370
00:52:57,180 --> 00:53:00,180
I'll stop by.

1371
00:53:00,180 --> 00:53:05,180
I'm definitely going to start listening to the podcast.

1372
00:53:05,180 --> 00:53:06,180
All right.

1373
00:53:06,180 --> 00:53:07,180
Thanks.

1374
00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:08,180
You guys take care.

1375
00:53:08,180 --> 00:53:09,180
Have a good one.

1376
00:53:09,180 --> 00:53:10,180
Very nice talking to you.

1377
00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:11,180
What's your name?

1378
00:53:11,180 --> 00:53:12,180
Kevin Whitaker.

1379
00:53:12,180 --> 00:53:13,180
Kevin Whitaker from St. Louis.

1380
00:53:13,180 --> 00:53:14,180
All right.

1381
00:53:14,180 --> 00:53:15,180
Excellent.

1382
00:53:15,180 --> 00:53:16,180
Great talking to you.

1383
00:53:16,180 --> 00:53:17,180
All right.

1384
00:53:17,180 --> 00:53:18,180
Bye, guys.

1385
00:53:18,180 --> 00:53:19,180
I love this table.

1386
00:53:19,180 --> 00:53:20,180
I do too.

1387
00:53:20,180 --> 00:53:21,180
This table is the shit, isn't it?

1388
00:53:21,180 --> 00:53:22,180
It is.

1389
00:53:22,180 --> 00:53:25,180
We should put a reserve hold on this table all the time.

1390
00:53:25,180 --> 00:53:28,180
Now, the question, you know what?

1391
00:53:28,180 --> 00:53:30,180
Let's do the Deer Douchebags a little bit later.

1392
00:53:30,180 --> 00:53:33,180
I ran through it two times and we never got to it.

1393
00:53:33,180 --> 00:53:35,180
Now, we're being like a radio show.

1394
00:53:35,180 --> 00:53:38,180
The universe is telling us to wait on this one.

1395
00:53:38,180 --> 00:53:41,180
We're just going to scrap that.

1396
00:53:41,180 --> 00:53:42,180
Okay.

1397
00:53:42,180 --> 00:53:47,180
We'll get to it probably at this point in the next podcast or the one after.

1398
00:53:47,180 --> 00:53:49,180
Just remind me I have one.

1399
00:53:49,180 --> 00:53:50,180
Okay.

1400
00:53:50,180 --> 00:53:56,180
Because I tried to do a Deer Douchebags once every about three episodes because most of

1401
00:53:56,180 --> 00:54:00,180
these episodes are divided into three while we're here at the River Market.

1402
00:54:00,180 --> 00:54:02,180
I have a Rick update.

1403
00:54:02,180 --> 00:54:03,180
Okay.

1404
00:54:03,180 --> 00:54:11,180
Rick has a different distributor now for his expresso's that are being sold out everywhere.

1405
00:54:11,180 --> 00:54:12,180
Oh, yeah.

1406
00:54:12,180 --> 00:54:16,180
He's hoping by the end of May to have everything straightened out.

1407
00:54:16,180 --> 00:54:21,180
He did not expect to have such great sales on his expresso's, but it's just been insane.

1408
00:54:21,180 --> 00:54:22,180
Just flying off the shelves.

1409
00:54:22,180 --> 00:54:23,180
Yeah.

1410
00:54:23,180 --> 00:54:26,180
He knew it was going to do well because his expresso's are that good.

1411
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:28,180
I wonder if we had something to do with that.

1412
00:54:28,180 --> 00:54:29,180
Of course we did.

1413
00:54:29,180 --> 00:54:33,180
Well, I mean, we do have like a three-night stay at the Omni whenever we wanted.

1414
00:54:33,180 --> 00:54:38,180
All we got to do is call down there and tell him Rick's information and all that because

1415
00:54:38,180 --> 00:54:44,180
he already has it down there because he has the points or whatever it is or he just paid

1416
00:54:44,180 --> 00:54:45,180
it or whatever.

1417
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:50,180
And he'll reimburse us for the flight if we choose to fly or gas if we choose to drive.

1418
00:54:50,180 --> 00:54:53,180
But we need to get down there here soon and we're going to.

1419
00:54:53,180 --> 00:54:56,180
It's just kind of hard to leave Kansas City right now.

1420
00:54:56,180 --> 00:55:02,180
The draft and everything that's been going on here and the River Market being so lively

1421
00:55:02,180 --> 00:55:03,180
full of people.

1422
00:55:03,180 --> 00:55:05,180
We just can't get away, but Rick understands.

1423
00:55:05,180 --> 00:55:11,180
But he just wanted me to spread the word that by the end of May he expects to have full

1424
00:55:11,180 --> 00:55:12,180
force.

1425
00:55:12,180 --> 00:55:14,180
If you want to buy a hundred expresso's like that one guy did.

1426
00:55:14,180 --> 00:55:15,180
Oh yeah.

1427
00:55:15,180 --> 00:55:16,180
You can buy them.

1428
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:17,180
Nice.

1429
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:18,180
Nice.

1430
00:55:18,180 --> 00:55:20,180
And I don't know, you know, I mean, do they go bad?

1431
00:55:20,180 --> 00:55:21,180
How could you buy a hundred of them?

1432
00:55:21,180 --> 00:55:23,180
I wouldn't think they'd go bad at all.

1433
00:55:23,180 --> 00:55:28,180
Well, I think he owned like a couple of manufacturing facilities and he likes it because not only

1434
00:55:28,180 --> 00:55:31,180
does everyone love the coffee, but speeds them up a little bit.

1435
00:55:31,180 --> 00:55:32,180
Oh yeah.

1436
00:55:32,180 --> 00:55:33,180
Yeah.

1437
00:55:33,180 --> 00:55:34,180
So anyhow.

1438
00:55:34,180 --> 00:55:35,180
Okay.

1439
00:55:35,180 --> 00:55:38,180
You got a.

1440
00:55:38,180 --> 00:55:41,180
All sorts of interesting facts about sleep.

1441
00:55:41,180 --> 00:55:42,180
All right.

1442
00:55:42,180 --> 00:55:43,180
Sounds good.

1443
00:55:43,180 --> 00:55:48,180
The floor is yours, Topher.

1444
00:55:48,180 --> 00:55:50,180
Alrighty.

1445
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:56,180
Did you know that you cannot sneeze while you're asleep?

1446
00:55:56,180 --> 00:56:00,180
No, that makes sense why I never remember sneezing while I was sleeping.

1447
00:56:00,180 --> 00:56:05,180
Apparently that part of your nervous system shuts off.

1448
00:56:05,180 --> 00:56:08,180
Okay.

1449
00:56:08,180 --> 00:56:16,180
Second fact, people who born blind dream and smells, touch and sound.

1450
00:56:16,180 --> 00:56:22,180
If they were born sighted and then lose their sight, they still dream in pictures.

1451
00:56:22,180 --> 00:56:23,180
Wow.

1452
00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:33,180
So someone that lost their sight while they were a member in being alive, probably cherished

1453
00:56:33,180 --> 00:56:36,180
their sleep because they get to see.

1454
00:56:36,180 --> 00:56:38,180
Wow.

1455
00:56:38,180 --> 00:56:45,180
Now creatures like dogs who are very smell oriented and sound oriented, they pretty much

1456
00:56:45,180 --> 00:56:47,180
dream in sounds and smells.

1457
00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:48,180
Well, you could tell.

1458
00:56:48,180 --> 00:56:49,180
You ever watch your dog sleeping?

1459
00:56:49,180 --> 00:56:50,180
Uh huh.

1460
00:56:50,180 --> 00:56:51,180
Yeah.

1461
00:56:51,180 --> 00:56:54,180
You can see their nose all of a sudden going and then all of a sudden their feet moving

1462
00:56:54,180 --> 00:56:57,180
like they smelled a rabbit or something and then they're going after it.

1463
00:56:57,180 --> 00:56:59,180
You know, yeah, you can tell.

1464
00:56:59,180 --> 00:57:03,180
So my mom asked her vet once, you know, do you think my dog dreams about me?

1465
00:57:03,180 --> 00:57:05,180
And the vet said, oh, I'm sure he does.

1466
00:57:05,180 --> 00:57:08,180
But in his dream, you're a smell.

1467
00:57:08,180 --> 00:57:10,180
You know, he doesn't dream of how you look.

1468
00:57:10,180 --> 00:57:12,180
You know, it's a smell.

1469
00:57:12,180 --> 00:57:14,180
Because that's what's important about it.

1470
00:57:14,180 --> 00:57:18,180
So every time a dog dreams, he smells fart.

1471
00:57:18,180 --> 00:57:20,180
I'm talking about my dog.

1472
00:57:20,180 --> 00:57:21,180
Oh yeah.

1473
00:57:21,180 --> 00:57:22,180
All right.

1474
00:57:22,180 --> 00:57:28,180
Number three, the feeling of falling when you're falling asleep, you get that sudden

1475
00:57:28,180 --> 00:57:30,180
feeling of falling and then you twitch.

1476
00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:32,180
I'm interested in this one because I'll tell you what.

1477
00:57:32,180 --> 00:57:37,180
That's called a hypnic jerk and there is no known cause.

1478
00:57:37,180 --> 00:57:39,180
I got a theory on that.

1479
00:57:39,180 --> 00:57:41,180
All the people who tell you, oh, it's because of this.

1480
00:57:41,180 --> 00:57:44,180
No, there's no evidence to point one way or the other.

1481
00:57:44,180 --> 00:57:49,180
I related it to when I had sleep apnea and you stopped breathing.

1482
00:57:49,180 --> 00:57:50,180
Yeah.

1483
00:57:50,180 --> 00:57:54,180
That's my theory on it because I used to have them all the time and then they stopped after

1484
00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:56,180
I had the surgery.

1485
00:57:56,180 --> 00:58:04,180
The theory that I've heard, someone put forward, said if there was a camera that would take

1486
00:58:04,180 --> 00:58:09,180
a picture of you at that particular moment, you'd never go to sleep again.

1487
00:58:09,180 --> 00:58:17,180
If it caught on film, what's really happening, what's making you jerk and twitch and jump?

1488
00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:18,180
That's kind of concerning.

1489
00:58:18,180 --> 00:58:20,180
It's kind of creepy, isn't it?

1490
00:58:20,180 --> 00:58:21,180
Yeah.

1491
00:58:21,180 --> 00:58:25,180
What is it that's happening that we're trying to twitch and jump away from?

1492
00:58:25,180 --> 00:58:27,180
A neighbor snuck in your house, is fondling you?

1493
00:58:27,180 --> 00:58:28,180
I don't know.

1494
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:29,180
What the fuck?

1495
00:58:29,180 --> 00:58:30,180
Is that a ghost?

1496
00:58:30,180 --> 00:58:31,180
Yeah, a ghost.

1497
00:58:31,180 --> 00:58:32,180
Wow.

1498
00:58:32,180 --> 00:58:34,180
Okay, number four.

1499
00:58:34,180 --> 00:58:40,180
The world record for the longest time without sleep was 11 days.

1500
00:58:40,180 --> 00:58:41,180
11 days?

1501
00:58:41,180 --> 00:58:42,180
11 days.

1502
00:58:42,180 --> 00:58:43,180
Oh my God.

1503
00:58:43,180 --> 00:58:44,180
That's crazy.

1504
00:58:44,180 --> 00:58:46,180
The guy could no longer concentrate.

1505
00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:47,180
He was hallucinating.

1506
00:58:47,180 --> 00:58:50,180
He was having psychotic breaks.

1507
00:58:50,180 --> 00:58:55,180
He was lucky because generally after about 10 days, you die.

1508
00:58:55,180 --> 00:58:56,180
Wow.

1509
00:58:56,180 --> 00:58:57,180
Lack of sleep kills.

1510
00:58:57,180 --> 00:58:59,180
Lack of dreaming kills.

1511
00:58:59,180 --> 00:59:02,180
But he made 11 days.

1512
00:59:02,180 --> 00:59:03,180
Wow.

1513
00:59:03,180 --> 00:59:04,180
Yeah.

1514
00:59:04,180 --> 00:59:07,180
Not recommended to try to break any of those records.

1515
00:59:07,180 --> 00:59:08,180
How you doing?

1516
00:59:08,180 --> 00:59:09,180
Pretty good.

1517
00:59:09,180 --> 00:59:12,180
What are you guys talking about today?

1518
00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:16,180
Right now, he's talking about facts about sleep.

1519
00:59:16,180 --> 00:59:17,180
Interesting facts about sleep.

1520
00:59:17,180 --> 00:59:23,180
One of the anecdotes I like to tell people when they ask about sleep is we've spent millions

1521
00:59:23,180 --> 00:59:27,180
of dollars trying to figure out why we have to go to sleep and the best we can come up

1522
00:59:27,180 --> 00:59:29,180
with is because we're sleepy.

1523
00:59:29,180 --> 00:59:30,180
Yeah, pretty much.

1524
00:59:30,180 --> 00:59:32,180
That's pretty much what he just confirmed.

1525
00:59:32,180 --> 00:59:33,180
Yeah.

1526
00:59:33,180 --> 00:59:40,180
Spent $15 million researching sleep and the best we can come up with, eh, we get tired.

1527
00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:42,180
Meanwhile, people are starving.

1528
00:59:42,180 --> 00:59:43,180
Great call.

1529
00:59:43,180 --> 00:59:46,180
Let's figure out why we go to sleep.

1530
00:59:46,180 --> 00:59:51,180
Yeah, we could solve something resembling hunger or we could spend money examining where

1531
00:59:51,180 --> 00:59:55,180
we need to put money in cities and fixing zoning laws and, you know, any multi-problems

1532
00:59:55,180 --> 00:59:57,180
facing first world countries.

1533
00:59:57,180 --> 01:00:01,180
But no, we need to understand why we go to sleep.

1534
01:00:01,180 --> 01:00:06,180
But the better question is why they want the answer to that, right, that they, if they

1535
01:00:06,180 --> 01:00:10,180
can figure out why we have to go to sleep, maybe they can capitalize on that too.

1536
01:00:10,180 --> 01:00:11,180
They can monetize it.

1537
01:00:11,180 --> 01:00:12,180
Exactly.

1538
01:00:12,180 --> 01:00:13,180
Yeah.

1539
01:00:13,180 --> 01:00:14,180
Yeah, you hit it right on the nose.

1540
01:00:14,180 --> 01:00:18,180
That's the only reason they do studies like that is because of that.

1541
01:00:18,180 --> 01:00:19,180
Yeah.

1542
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:20,180
How to monetize it.

1543
01:00:20,180 --> 01:00:21,180
Yep.

1544
01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:23,180
They can make more money than they spend.

1545
01:00:23,180 --> 01:00:24,180
Yep.

1546
01:00:24,180 --> 01:00:25,180
Yep.

1547
01:00:25,180 --> 01:00:26,180
All right, man.

1548
01:00:26,180 --> 01:00:27,180
Thank you.

1549
01:00:27,180 --> 01:00:28,180
What's your name?

1550
01:00:28,180 --> 01:00:29,180
Justin.

1551
01:00:29,180 --> 01:00:30,180
Justin, we're two douchebags in a microphone.

1552
01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:31,180
Thanks for coming by and saying something.

1553
01:00:31,180 --> 01:00:32,180
I'm a third.

1554
01:00:32,180 --> 01:00:33,180
You're going to be the third douchebag.

1555
01:00:33,180 --> 01:00:36,180
Yeah, you're going to be the third douchebag.

1556
01:00:36,180 --> 01:00:39,180
Anytime you want to stop and talk, you're welcome to.

1557
01:00:39,180 --> 01:00:41,180
We're usually down here once a week.

1558
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:42,180
Yeah.

1559
01:00:42,180 --> 01:00:43,180
Okay.

1560
01:00:43,180 --> 01:00:45,180
Then we're usually only here on Sundays.

1561
01:00:45,180 --> 01:00:46,180
Okay.

1562
01:00:46,180 --> 01:00:49,180
Okay, I think I got one more Sunday before I have to start working Sunday.

1563
01:00:49,180 --> 01:00:51,180
So next Sunday we should be here.

1564
01:00:51,180 --> 01:00:53,180
Then after that, it's whenever I can get a Sunday off.

1565
01:00:53,180 --> 01:00:54,180
Okay.

1566
01:00:54,180 --> 01:00:56,180
And then after that, it's Mondays.

1567
01:00:56,180 --> 01:00:57,180
Yeah.

1568
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:01,180
Or if they go back my whole schedule, it's Mondays or Tuesdays we're here.

1569
01:01:01,180 --> 01:01:04,180
But let's see.

1570
01:01:04,180 --> 01:01:06,180
Saturdays and Sundays you get more people.

1571
01:01:06,180 --> 01:01:07,180
Yeah.

1572
01:01:07,180 --> 01:01:08,180
It's a lot of fun.

1573
01:01:08,180 --> 01:01:09,180
We try to be here on Sundays.

1574
01:01:09,180 --> 01:01:10,180
So next Sunday we'll definitely be here.

1575
01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:11,180
Then after that, I can probably let you know.

1576
01:01:11,180 --> 01:01:14,180
I can look ahead in my schedule and let you know when we're going to be here.

1577
01:01:14,180 --> 01:01:15,180
All right.

1578
01:01:15,180 --> 01:01:17,180
I'll check out the website and I'll shoot you guys an email or something.

1579
01:01:17,180 --> 01:01:18,180
Yeah, please do.

1580
01:01:18,180 --> 01:01:20,180
The website's real basic.

1581
01:01:20,180 --> 01:01:23,180
We need to get someone in there that knows what the hell they're doing is what it is.

1582
01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:27,180
But anyhow, it has like the last five episodes on there.

1583
01:01:27,180 --> 01:01:28,180
All right.

1584
01:01:28,180 --> 01:01:29,180
Okay.

1585
01:01:29,180 --> 01:01:30,180
Was it a pleasure?

1586
01:01:30,180 --> 01:01:31,180
Yeah, absolutely.

1587
01:01:31,180 --> 01:01:32,180
It was.

1588
01:01:32,180 --> 01:01:33,180
Have fun.

1589
01:01:33,180 --> 01:01:34,180
All right.

1590
01:01:34,180 --> 01:01:35,180
Take care.

1591
01:01:35,180 --> 01:01:36,180
Thanks.

1592
01:01:36,180 --> 01:01:37,180
All right.

1593
01:01:37,180 --> 01:01:38,180
Take care, man.

1594
01:01:38,180 --> 01:01:39,180
You too.

1595
01:01:39,180 --> 01:01:41,180
The feedback is just insane.

1596
01:01:41,180 --> 01:01:44,180
I think it's part of the reason our downloads are going up.

1597
01:01:44,180 --> 01:01:45,180
It is.

1598
01:01:45,180 --> 01:01:46,180
Yeah.

1599
01:01:46,180 --> 01:01:47,180
I mean, yeah.

1600
01:01:47,180 --> 01:01:50,180
Rather than pressing the flesh and meeting the people.

1601
01:01:50,180 --> 01:01:53,180
What I love is we're just doing this so grassroots.

1602
01:01:53,180 --> 01:01:54,180
Yeah.

1603
01:01:54,180 --> 01:01:57,180
Just coming out here among the people and having people let their say.

1604
01:01:57,180 --> 01:01:59,180
And the numbers are skyrocketing.

1605
01:01:59,180 --> 01:02:00,180
People respond.

1606
01:02:00,180 --> 01:02:01,180
It's awesome.

1607
01:02:01,180 --> 01:02:02,180
Yeah, they do.

1608
01:02:02,180 --> 01:02:03,180
And also it's a good program.

1609
01:02:03,180 --> 01:02:04,180
I think it is.

1610
01:02:04,180 --> 01:02:05,180
It really is.

1611
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:06,180
And it's getting better is what it is.

1612
01:02:06,180 --> 01:02:07,180
It's getting better.

1613
01:02:07,180 --> 01:02:08,180
It is.

1614
01:02:08,180 --> 01:02:09,180
It's getting much worse.

1615
01:02:09,180 --> 01:02:10,180
But still I think we're doing better job.

1616
01:02:10,180 --> 01:02:11,180
Yeah, we are.

1617
01:02:11,180 --> 01:02:15,180
I think we're learning ourselves and each other much better.

1618
01:02:15,180 --> 01:02:20,180
And also learning how to entertain better.

1619
01:02:20,180 --> 01:02:22,180
Anyhow, sleep.

1620
01:02:22,180 --> 01:02:23,180
All right.

1621
01:02:23,180 --> 01:02:24,180
Number five.

1622
01:02:24,180 --> 01:02:31,180
Dolphins and ducks can sleep with one half of their brain at a time.

1623
01:02:31,180 --> 01:02:32,180
Wow.

1624
01:02:32,180 --> 01:02:33,180
So what does the other half do?

1625
01:02:33,180 --> 01:02:34,180
They're conscious?

1626
01:02:34,180 --> 01:02:35,180
Uh-huh.

1627
01:02:35,180 --> 01:02:39,180
So dolphins, if they just went somewhere and went to sleep, you know, they still have to

1628
01:02:39,180 --> 01:02:40,180
come up and breathe.

1629
01:02:40,180 --> 01:02:43,180
They still have to watch out for predators.

1630
01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:47,180
It's not like they can go find somewhere and stick their blowhole out of the water and

1631
01:02:47,180 --> 01:02:48,180
go to sleep and just breathe.

1632
01:02:48,180 --> 01:02:49,180
Yeah.

1633
01:02:49,180 --> 01:02:50,180
So they sleep half of their brain.

1634
01:02:50,180 --> 01:02:51,180
That's a good point.

1635
01:02:51,180 --> 01:02:55,180
And then when it's rested up, they sleep the other half of their brain and then they're

1636
01:02:55,180 --> 01:02:56,180
fully rested.

1637
01:02:56,180 --> 01:02:59,180
See, why can't we do that?

1638
01:02:59,180 --> 01:03:01,180
Wouldn't that be awesome if we could do that?

1639
01:03:01,180 --> 01:03:02,180
That would be great.

1640
01:03:02,180 --> 01:03:05,180
We could be getting shit done while we're sleeping and be like, hang on a minute.

1641
01:03:05,180 --> 01:03:07,180
I've got to put my half of my brain to bed.

1642
01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:08,180
I'll be right back.

1643
01:03:08,180 --> 01:03:10,180
I'll be at half capacity for a bit.

1644
01:03:10,180 --> 01:03:11,180
Yeah, yeah.

1645
01:03:11,180 --> 01:03:14,180
I'll be in the meeting after I put one half of me to bed.

1646
01:03:14,180 --> 01:03:15,180
Hang on.

1647
01:03:15,180 --> 01:03:19,180
Now, ducks do it because when they gather in those big clusters in the middle of the

1648
01:03:19,180 --> 01:03:28,180
lake, the ducks on the perimeter, the eye that's facing out, the side of the brain that

1649
01:03:28,180 --> 01:03:31,180
that eye uses stays awake.

1650
01:03:31,180 --> 01:03:36,180
The eye facing inward, that half of the brain goes to sleep.

1651
01:03:36,180 --> 01:03:37,180
Oh, wow.

1652
01:03:37,180 --> 01:03:40,180
Because they only use the one eye looking outward for predators.

1653
01:03:40,180 --> 01:03:41,180
Yeah, that's true.

1654
01:03:41,180 --> 01:03:43,180
So they only need half the brain for that eye.

1655
01:03:43,180 --> 01:03:45,180
The other eye uses the other half of the brain.

1656
01:03:45,180 --> 01:03:47,180
They put that half to sleep.

1657
01:03:47,180 --> 01:03:48,180
That makes sense.

1658
01:03:48,180 --> 01:03:52,180
And then after a while, they turn and face the other direction and rest the other half.

1659
01:03:52,180 --> 01:03:55,180
Very cool.

1660
01:03:55,180 --> 01:03:57,180
God lets ducks do it.

1661
01:03:57,180 --> 01:03:58,180
Why won't he let us do it?

1662
01:03:58,180 --> 01:04:00,180
He doesn't like us as well as ducks.

1663
01:04:00,180 --> 01:04:03,180
See, I think I already touched on this.

1664
01:04:03,180 --> 01:04:06,180
Lack of sleep kills faster than lack of food.

1665
01:04:06,180 --> 01:04:08,180
Yeah, I believe that.

1666
01:04:08,180 --> 01:04:12,180
Yeah, lack of food, you can go weeks and weeks and weeks.

1667
01:04:12,180 --> 01:04:16,180
Hadn't there been cases where people literally could not fall asleep for nothing?

1668
01:04:16,180 --> 01:04:17,180
Yeah.

1669
01:04:17,180 --> 01:04:18,180
Yeah.

1670
01:04:18,180 --> 01:04:20,180
Did they die from it?

1671
01:04:20,180 --> 01:04:21,180
You can, yeah, definitely.

1672
01:04:21,180 --> 01:04:25,180
There have been people who've died from lack of sleep and lack of dreaming.

1673
01:04:25,180 --> 01:04:26,180
Okay.

1674
01:04:26,180 --> 01:04:27,180
Wow.

1675
01:04:27,180 --> 01:04:28,180
They've at least gone insane.

1676
01:04:28,180 --> 01:04:30,180
Oh, yeah, that would do it.

1677
01:04:30,180 --> 01:04:32,180
Okay, number seven.

1678
01:04:32,180 --> 01:04:36,180
If you fall asleep in less than five minutes, it means you're sleep deprived.

1679
01:04:36,180 --> 01:04:42,180
Because normally it should take you 10 to 15 minutes to relax and ease into sleep.

1680
01:04:42,180 --> 01:04:43,180
Wow.

1681
01:04:43,180 --> 01:04:48,180
But if you're hit in the bed and zonk your ride out, it means you're sleep deprived and you've waited too long.

1682
01:04:48,180 --> 01:04:49,180
That's real.

1683
01:04:49,180 --> 01:04:50,180
I like that.

1684
01:04:50,180 --> 01:04:52,180
That's a good indicator.

1685
01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:53,180
That's a great indicator.

1686
01:04:53,180 --> 01:04:56,180
If I just crash right out, that means I should have gone to bed hours ago.

1687
01:04:56,180 --> 01:04:57,180
Yeah.

1688
01:04:57,180 --> 01:05:00,180
Boy, that's a great...

1689
01:05:00,180 --> 01:05:04,180
Yeah, I mean, you could learn a lot from yourself just by that.

1690
01:05:04,180 --> 01:05:05,180
Yeah, really.

1691
01:05:05,180 --> 01:05:06,180
Wow.

1692
01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:07,180
Okay.

1693
01:05:07,180 --> 01:05:08,180
So I like that one.

1694
01:05:08,180 --> 01:05:09,180
I do too.

1695
01:05:09,180 --> 01:05:10,180
Okay, this one is fun.

1696
01:05:10,180 --> 01:05:13,180
Remember how people used to say, oh, you only dream in black and white.

1697
01:05:13,180 --> 01:05:15,180
Nobody dreams in color.

1698
01:05:15,180 --> 01:05:17,180
You ever hear of that?

1699
01:05:17,180 --> 01:05:18,180
I never thought that was correct.

1700
01:05:18,180 --> 01:05:21,180
Okay, for my generation, that was a big thing.

1701
01:05:21,180 --> 01:05:22,180
You know, I'm, what, 10 years older than you?

1702
01:05:22,180 --> 01:05:23,180
No, no, I remember that.

1703
01:05:23,180 --> 01:05:26,180
I've heard that several times, but I don't think that's true.

1704
01:05:26,180 --> 01:05:27,180
But go ahead.

1705
01:05:27,180 --> 01:05:34,180
Well, it turns out the reason behind it is exposure to black and white TV and movies.

1706
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:40,180
Because before there were films, people dreamed in color.

1707
01:05:40,180 --> 01:05:45,180
Then when movies became a big thing, they were all in black and white.

1708
01:05:45,180 --> 01:05:47,180
And people started dreaming in black and white.

1709
01:05:47,180 --> 01:05:52,180
Because their fantasy material came from the black and white movie, they dreamed in black and white.

1710
01:05:52,180 --> 01:06:00,180
And then when kids grew up with TV, TV until the late 60s, it was pretty common to have black and white TVs.

1711
01:06:00,180 --> 01:06:03,180
And a lot of programs were put out in black and white.

1712
01:06:03,180 --> 01:06:09,180
Because they didn't want to spend the extra money on color when only a third of the country had color TVs.

1713
01:06:09,180 --> 01:06:16,180
So all these kids grew up dreaming in black and white because all the TV was in black and white.

1714
01:06:16,180 --> 01:06:21,180
So right now only 12% of the world still dreams in black and white.

1715
01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:23,180
And those are all older people.

1716
01:06:23,180 --> 01:06:24,180
Okay.

1717
01:06:24,180 --> 01:06:27,180
But as people get exposed to more color programs.

1718
01:06:27,180 --> 01:06:31,180
I grew up with primarily color, so that would make sense.

1719
01:06:31,180 --> 01:06:38,180
Yeah, it never really made sense to me because I grew up seeing a lot of color programs.

1720
01:06:38,180 --> 01:06:42,180
You know, the Wonderful World of Disney we watched every Sunday evening.

1721
01:06:42,180 --> 01:06:43,180
I remember that.

1722
01:06:43,180 --> 01:06:47,180
So I would dream in color and my classmates are like, oh yeah, everyone dreams in black and white.

1723
01:06:47,180 --> 01:06:52,180
And I was like, no, in my dream last night there was something that was very yellow.

1724
01:06:52,180 --> 01:06:54,180
I forgot the World of Disney.

1725
01:06:54,180 --> 01:06:55,180
Wow, yeah.

1726
01:06:55,180 --> 01:06:59,180
Remember that Tinkerbell would come out and she'd do a little wand.

1727
01:06:59,180 --> 01:07:04,180
And then there would be some happy little program about dogs or lion cubs or something.

1728
01:07:04,180 --> 01:07:06,180
It was like every Sunday night, wasn't it?

1729
01:07:06,180 --> 01:07:08,180
Yeah, every Sunday evening.

1730
01:07:08,180 --> 01:07:13,180
And then I remember the other staples were Gunsmoke.

1731
01:07:13,180 --> 01:07:14,180
Yeah.

1732
01:07:14,180 --> 01:07:18,180
And Lawrence Welk in my house, my dad loved Lawrence Welk.

1733
01:07:18,180 --> 01:07:21,180
My dad was a seriously trained.

1734
01:07:21,180 --> 01:07:24,180
I blame Lawrence Welk for me having such a fucking perverse personality.

1735
01:07:24,180 --> 01:07:25,180
Yeah, really.

1736
01:07:25,180 --> 01:07:26,180
Yeah, being exposed to that.

1737
01:07:26,180 --> 01:07:29,180
My dad was such a seriously trained musician.

1738
01:07:29,180 --> 01:07:32,180
He couldn't stand Lawrence Welk or Liberace.

1739
01:07:32,180 --> 01:07:35,180
The sound of music, he thought all the music was really poorly written.

1740
01:07:35,180 --> 01:07:36,180
Wow.

1741
01:07:36,180 --> 01:07:39,180
He was just like, oh, that's just schlock for the masses.

1742
01:07:39,180 --> 01:07:42,180
He was so into that that he couldn't enjoy it.

1743
01:07:42,180 --> 01:07:43,180
He was very elitist.

1744
01:07:43,180 --> 01:07:45,180
Yeah, very elitist about music.

1745
01:07:45,180 --> 01:07:46,180
Yeah.

1746
01:07:46,180 --> 01:07:52,180
I mean, all rock and roll, to him it just sounded great, which for him music did have colors.

1747
01:07:52,180 --> 01:07:54,180
I know a guy that breaks down rock music like that.

1748
01:07:54,180 --> 01:07:57,180
It's very annoying because he thinks he knows music so well.

1749
01:07:57,180 --> 01:07:59,180
He's like, that chord doesn't belong here.

1750
01:07:59,180 --> 01:08:01,180
I'm like, what do you mean? It sounds great.

1751
01:08:01,180 --> 01:08:03,180
Oh, no, that's not how you write music.

1752
01:08:03,180 --> 01:08:06,180
Well, let's see your credits to how many fucking albums you sold.

1753
01:08:06,180 --> 01:08:07,180
Yeah.

1754
01:08:07,180 --> 01:08:11,180
And 12 Bar Blues, the basic for a lot of rock and roll,

1755
01:08:11,180 --> 01:08:14,180
breaks one of the fundamental rules of music theory,

1756
01:08:14,180 --> 01:08:18,180
which is you don't go from the five chord back to the four chord.

1757
01:08:18,180 --> 01:08:20,180
And in 12 Bar Blues, you do it all the time.

1758
01:08:20,180 --> 01:08:21,180
You do it all the time, yeah.

1759
01:08:21,180 --> 01:08:25,180
But in serious music, that's like saying ain't got no none.

1760
01:08:25,180 --> 01:08:27,180
Yeah, but you know, here's the deal.

1761
01:08:27,180 --> 01:08:30,180
The catchiness is what they're looking for, and it's catchy.

1762
01:08:30,180 --> 01:08:33,180
Yeah, and I think that's what pissed my dad off about rock and roll is

1763
01:08:33,180 --> 01:08:35,180
it was good music without the rules.

1764
01:08:35,180 --> 01:08:36,180
Oh, yeah.

1765
01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:38,180
And he's like, no, no, no, you got to have the rules.

1766
01:08:38,180 --> 01:08:40,180
You got to study. You got to do it right.

1767
01:08:40,180 --> 01:08:45,180
But later in life, he embraced more eclectic styles.

1768
01:08:45,180 --> 01:08:47,180
He was big into ragtime and early blues.

1769
01:08:47,180 --> 01:08:49,180
Ragtime was cool, yeah.

1770
01:08:49,180 --> 01:08:53,180
Yeah, like 20s and 30s, Jelly Roll Morton, Scott Joplin.

1771
01:08:53,180 --> 01:08:56,180
Yeah, so he loosened up.

1772
01:08:56,180 --> 01:08:58,180
Well, that's good that he did.

1773
01:08:58,180 --> 01:09:00,180
That's really good that he did.

1774
01:09:00,180 --> 01:09:03,180
Because to me, some of that fun music is the best music.

1775
01:09:03,180 --> 01:09:04,180
Oh, yeah.

1776
01:09:04,180 --> 01:09:08,180
I mean, you examine the Beatles and tell me how many fucking brilliant compositions they wrote.

1777
01:09:08,180 --> 01:09:13,180
Or you can listen to Gustav Mahler and his Ode Der Kinder Toten Lieder,

1778
01:09:13,180 --> 01:09:15,180
which is Songs on the Death of Children.

1779
01:09:15,180 --> 01:09:17,180
That's exactly what it means.

1780
01:09:17,180 --> 01:09:21,180
And it's operatic, and it really is Songs on the Death of Children.

1781
01:09:21,180 --> 01:09:24,180
Fun times.

1782
01:09:24,180 --> 01:09:27,180
Look at some of the funnest music around, at least for me.

1783
01:09:27,180 --> 01:09:29,180
God.

1784
01:09:29,180 --> 01:09:32,180
Is it like Black Sabbath or Deep Purple?

1785
01:09:32,180 --> 01:09:33,180
Yeah.

1786
01:09:33,180 --> 01:09:38,180
Well, at least Deep Purple is written more like a composition

1787
01:09:38,180 --> 01:09:42,180
where there's different parts that come in at different times,

1788
01:09:42,180 --> 01:09:44,180
and it all leads up to the big buildup,

1789
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:48,180
then the question, should I have, what happened, am I doing this?

1790
01:09:48,180 --> 01:09:51,180
And then back to the, oh, hell yeah, I am.

1791
01:09:51,180 --> 01:09:54,180
And then compare it to like Louis Louis,

1792
01:09:54,180 --> 01:09:56,180
which is like the same thing over and over and over and over.

1793
01:09:56,180 --> 01:09:57,180
It's still catchy, but...

1794
01:09:57,180 --> 01:09:59,180
It's still great.

1795
01:09:59,180 --> 01:10:02,180
There's all sorts of ways you can make great music.

1796
01:10:02,180 --> 01:10:06,180
Well, Black Sabbath is all written on the blues bars pretty much.

1797
01:10:06,180 --> 01:10:09,180
It's just what's different about it is the singer

1798
01:10:09,180 --> 01:10:14,180
and the distortion, really the sound, the tone.

1799
01:10:14,180 --> 01:10:19,180
I mean, a lot of their stuff, you know, it's good,

1800
01:10:19,180 --> 01:10:22,180
but it's stuff that you could hear anywhere

1801
01:10:22,180 --> 01:10:24,180
that are just arranged a little different,

1802
01:10:24,180 --> 01:10:26,180
and the distortion and the voice.

1803
01:10:26,180 --> 01:10:29,180
So, well, some of it is, I mean,

1804
01:10:29,180 --> 01:10:33,180
Gieser Butler's got some fantastic bass lines, I'll do that.

1805
01:10:33,180 --> 01:10:35,180
Yeah, he's an underrated bass player.

1806
01:10:35,180 --> 01:10:37,180
He's a very underrated bass player.

1807
01:10:37,180 --> 01:10:39,180
And I used to diss on Bill Ward a lot,

1808
01:10:39,180 --> 01:10:43,180
but I've listened to him more seriously, and he definitely had chops.

1809
01:10:43,180 --> 01:10:45,180
He was a jazz drummer, wasn't he?

1810
01:10:45,180 --> 01:10:46,180
Yeah, he did.

1811
01:10:46,180 --> 01:10:51,180
A lot of the drummers from the 60s grew up taking jazz drumming his kids.

1812
01:10:51,180 --> 01:10:53,180
That's true, because that's the only thing they were exposed to.

1813
01:10:53,180 --> 01:10:54,180
Yeah.

1814
01:10:54,180 --> 01:10:56,180
Yeah, it's where, oh, don't hit that kick drum at all.

1815
01:10:56,180 --> 01:10:58,180
It's like maybe once per song you touch the kick drum,

1816
01:10:58,180 --> 01:11:00,180
but everything's on the cymbals and the snare.

1817
01:11:00,180 --> 01:11:02,180
Rockers, they want to slam.

1818
01:11:02,180 --> 01:11:04,180
I can feel it like this.

1819
01:11:04,180 --> 01:11:05,180
Good point.

1820
01:11:05,180 --> 01:11:06,180
Sorry.

1821
01:11:06,180 --> 01:11:07,180
No, no, no, no, that's good.

1822
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:08,180
I'm just trying to keep my point in my head.

1823
01:11:08,180 --> 01:11:10,180
I'm laughing.

1824
01:11:10,180 --> 01:11:13,180
Vinny Apathy was my favorite out of Black Sabbath.

1825
01:11:13,180 --> 01:11:16,180
But Bill Ward I appreciate a lot

1826
01:11:16,180 --> 01:11:19,180
because of a lot of stuff that what he didn't do,

1827
01:11:19,180 --> 01:11:21,180
which to me made a lot of sense.

1828
01:11:21,180 --> 01:11:23,180
Yeah, that was a big thing for John Bonham, too.

1829
01:11:23,180 --> 01:11:27,180
It was what he left out, you know, the overplaying that he didn't do.

1830
01:11:27,180 --> 01:11:30,180
Yeah, he just kind of like it doesn't need it, you know?

1831
01:11:30,180 --> 01:11:31,180
Yeah, uh-huh.

1832
01:11:31,180 --> 01:11:33,180
Yeah, so I appreciate that.

1833
01:11:33,180 --> 01:11:58,180
Yes.

1834
01:12:03,180 --> 01:12:05,180
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1835
01:12:05,180 --> 01:12:07,180
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1836
01:12:07,180 --> 01:12:20,180
Hey, where do they go?

1837
01:12:20,180 --> 01:12:22,180
Where are the douchebags?

1838
01:12:22,180 --> 01:12:25,180
Oh, my God, someone took a dump in the corner.

1839
01:12:25,180 --> 01:12:27,180
Oh, geez.

1840
01:12:27,180 --> 01:12:29,180
Glad they're gone.

1841
01:12:29,180 --> 01:12:31,180
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1842
01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:33,180
Oh, man, that smells.