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Live from the story of the River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri.

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From the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River.

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The story is about two douchebags and microphones on the river.

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From the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River.

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It is Two Douchebags and Microphones on the river.

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This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

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People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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One, smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats,

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Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

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Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

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Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

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Oh shit, what's that over there? Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.

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The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line.

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Only a fraction will get this.

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Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

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There's sections of North Dakota where they up the speed limit to 80.

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Which I'm all for. You know what, if you do that and you die, it's on you.

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There was a time not too long back, in fact it was in the 90s.

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My oldest brother lived in Montana and the speed limit on the interstate was reasonable and prudent.

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There was no speed limit. I love it.

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So if it was raining or snowing real hard and you were driving super fast, they would pull you over.

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But if it's dry, clear roads, daytime, you can do 120 if you wanted to.

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Yeah, they're like, look, there's no danger so that's fine.

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I mean the worst thing that could happen is you hit a moose.

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Yeah, and then again that's on you because you chose it.

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I got an interesting story. Did anyone see where Damar Hamlin is cleared to play?

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I heard a rumor about that but I wasn't sure.

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No, I found the actual article.

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I hadn't heard that.

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Yeah, he has been cleared to play and he's going to play this year.

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Amazing.

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Well good, you're good.

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So I guess it was just kind of a fluke thing that stopped his heart and not a defect or anything that's going to bug him again.

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Yeah, well they made the announcement at the combine in Indianapolis that he had been cleared to play.

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Wow.

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And he said he will be there and his team wants him.

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I found that very interesting that he is willing to go play so quick after he could have easily stayed on that slab.

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Yeah.

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He could have actually much easier stayed on that slab than be alive right now.

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What's going on?

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I thought I saw that woman again.

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It's not her.

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Oh, it's not her? Okay.

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She had much, much redder hair than probably Jennifer or Anthony.

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Oh.

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My wife's cousin, she just moved up from Florida.

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Oh, okay.

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Too cold for her. She wouldn't be out right now.

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But she has much redder hair than that woman does but they seem very similar.

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Okay, we've got another story here.

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Paul Gilbert, guitarist.

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Oh yeah.

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Really good guitarist.

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Very good.

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You know he released a Dio album with nothing but Dio songs as a tribute.

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Oh cool.

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Yeah.

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Really?

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Yeah.

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This is unique because it has absolutely no vocals except Gilbert's lead guitar.

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Crazy.

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So he laid down the rhythm, had everything else, bass, drums.

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Then he comes by with the rhythm guitar and he plays his version of If Dio Was a Guitar.

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Wow, that's interesting.

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It is. I thought it was a very iffy idea at first.

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Yeah, on the face of it it could get really bad.

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I listened to it and I liked it.

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Good.

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Yeah. It was very good.

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And also I love the songs.

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Number one, Man on the Silver Mountain.

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Oh yeah.

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Iconic rainbow song.

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Very good.

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Yeah.

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That chord progression, that rhythm, that whole song writing on there is just simple

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but so good.

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Yeah, that's always been one of my favorite songs.

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Oh, it's great.

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Number two, Neon Nights.

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Yeah.

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Neon Nights, Great Black Sabbath II.

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Number three, another one that I love for Rainbow, Starstruck.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That's good.

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Starstruck's awesome.

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Number four, Heaven and Hell.

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And that thing is very interesting because of Dio's vocals on it and how powerful, how

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they're powerful in certain areas are more powerful.

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He does that with guitar.

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He simulates Dio singing like he did on there which is hard to sing let alone play a guitar

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to.

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Yeah.

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And then he'd have to convey the emotional impact of the words that Dio would be singing.

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You still have to play that on the guitar.

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That's what got me was he did it.

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Yeah.

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He really did it and I was very skeptical when I first started listening to it.

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I'm like, I don't think this is going to work.

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I think it's just a gimmick.

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No, it's good.

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I don't know if it was a gimmick or not but it was very good.

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I enjoyed it.

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Wow.

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Number five, I love this selection, Country Girl.

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Wow.

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Country Girl is a very lesser known song off of Mob Rules on side two, first song.

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Like deep tracks.

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It's a deep track and it's really, really good.

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I'll put it like this, anyone that loves Saban with Dio would know that song and go, I love

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that song.

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So number six, this is a solo iconic song and the cancer fund is named after it in Dio's

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name, Stand Up and Shout.

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Okay.

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Which is a very good, really rhythmic, what would you call it, anthem?

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Yeah, kind of a protest anthem.

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Yeah, yeah, very good.

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Number seven, The Last In Line, which is a great Dio song and think of the vocals on

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that and think of someone playing guitar.

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That would be cool.

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This next one is an old one off of one of the first Rainbow songs and it was so good

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because he was doing these compositions that actually has some Mozart and a little Beethoven

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and I forgot who all else, Anyhow, Kill the King.

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Oh, I don't think I know that one.

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It is, what was their very famous, Rainbow Rising.

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Okay.

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Off of Rainbow Rising.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Number nine is a very odd song but I love it, Don't Talk to Strangers.

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The chords of Vivian Campbell do on the intro of that song are amazing because he kind of

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plucks and then Dio does that little harmony that's just perfect.

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So, Anyhow, this is a very good rendition and I love it.

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Number ten, just a great song from Heaven and Hellside to Lady Evil.

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It's interesting how you pick these songs.

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Well, all of them, well, obviously he is a fan because he wanted to do this to memorialize

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and salute Dio but his song selection proves what a fan he is in my opinion.

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I'm guessing there are probably a handful of songs that he wanted to do but couldn't

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figure out a way to do them the way he wanted.

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There's a handful of songs he had to do to get the commoner.

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Yeah.

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Number eleven, Holy Diver, You'd Have To.

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Yeah.

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That song still is today whenever I hear it, it gives me chills.

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I'm like, fuck.

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Yeah.

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That song is just, it's so powerful.

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Yeah, I have an I Heart Star on I Heart, I have a rainbow stage.

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Oh, okay.

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And is this the same one that you used to listen to us?

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Yes, yes.

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Alright.

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Oh, I feel great now.

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Yeah, good coming.

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I saw it.

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Go ahead.

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No, I was just going to say that I saw a photograph of Paul Gilbert when he was a teenager and

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he had just won the guitar contest at some local music store.

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They had a guitar off, everyone shows up and plays guitar.

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And I was trying to remember all the things they were saying about him but it's when nobody

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knew who Paul Gilbert was.

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Yeah, now everybody knows.

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He just shredded his brains out.

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The guy he beat for the competition was a guy who played with a guitar in each hand

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and just did tapping on both guitars.

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Oh, wow.

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But Paul Gilbert actually played, you know, like a real guitar.

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Well, Paul Gilbert is one of these guitarists that kind of missed the timeline for his type

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of playing.

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Yeah.

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But he should have been in a bigger band.

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He should have been in a big band playing because he's that good.

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Yeah.

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You know, he should have been like one of the guys of Whitesnake for at least a couple

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albums.

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Yeah.

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And he's got a number 12.

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Long Live Rock and Roll.

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Oh, yeah.

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That's a great one.

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Yeah.

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And that is all the tracks off that album.

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But man, it was really good.

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If you're a Dio fan and a guitar fan, it's a must.

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I'm going to have to look into that.

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You need to.

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Yeah.

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And you'll be pleasantly surprised, I'm sure.

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He's done with a lot of taste and a lot of talent and a lot of love.

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The guy was obviously a huge Dio fan.

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I'm glad that there are still musicians and affiliated people who are putting out the music

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that people like us want to listen to because we don't want to listen to Adele or Katy Perry

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or whoever the current manufactured star is.

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Yeah.

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So I'm glad that music like this is being still made and released and put out in a good

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quality format instead of just crappy basement tapes because that's all we got.

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Well, I mean, and another thing is a lot of them like Alice Cooper are doing it to kind

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of support because they still tour so much.

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Yeah.

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And I think it goes hand in hand now, the touring and the selling of CDs.

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Yeah.

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You know there, and he plays a couple of songs.

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I'm talking about Cooper.

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If Ozzy ever gets back up there on there, you know, he could do the same thing and has

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before.

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But what you do is you kind of semi-promote the new album.

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Yeah.

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Just go, you know, this is a new one or you just play it and people around you will give

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it away.

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The real fans will go, oh yeah, this is off his new album, man.

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It came out in July.

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And people are like, man, I kind of like that.

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And then, you know, when they're on their way out, when they're grabbing that shirt,

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they're like, you know what, I'll take that CD too.

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And you know, that would help justify those insanely high ticket prices for these tours.

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Exactly.

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And then, you know, if you were going to go hear some new music, like what were the Eagles

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going for $5,000 and $6,000 a ticket or something once you added in all the fees?

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Wow.

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I would never get fucking bent over like that.

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No.

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It's just, you know, it's to hear the same songs they've done over and over and over

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and half of them are dead now and it's like, fine.

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I had no interest.

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I've got another issue with it too and I put it like this kind of.

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As long as there's one starving children in America.

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Yeah.

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$6,000 for a ticket.

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You are the fucking problem.

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Yeah.

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Bruce Springsteen ran into that too with their dynamic pricing.

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Yeah, I know.

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His ticket prices were pushing 10 grand.

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And he had such a goody two shoes reputation.

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He was the old working class hero guy.

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Yeah.

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Blue jeans.

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Born in the USA.

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Yeah.

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And then it's like, hey douchebag, look at this shit.

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Not the good kind of douchebag like us.

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No.

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Bad kind of douchebag.

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Yeah.

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And we have a new crack staff.

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Oh, we do.

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Yeah.

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We started out with the cocaine crack staff.

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They were very unreliable.

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We kept stealing our shit and they didn't get anything done.

253
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,000
They were very unreliable.

254
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,000
So then we went to the plumber's crack for our crack staff.

255
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000
We got tired of warm pencils.

256
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Yeah.

257
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000
And it stank all the time.

258
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,000
Yeah, they stuck them in their ass crack to warm them up and we'd have to use one.

259
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:54,000
So now our crack staff is made up of people who when they stand up all their bones and joints go crack.

260
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
So that's the crack in our crack staff.

261
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000
And we actually fit in with them better than anybody.

262
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Yeah, that's true.

263
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
I can fit in too.

264
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000
Yeah.

265
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000
We're live at the City Market and look at the guy playing banjo over there.

266
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,000
And I don't even know, did we even say we're live at the City Market?

267
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000
I don't even think we have.

268
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,000
No, we kind of started on the run when those girls sat down.

269
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000
Oh yeah, that's right.

270
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000
Yeah.

271
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000
Yep.

272
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000
Well, you'll hear this later.

273
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:27,000
We had a couple of chicks that were walking by on there and then we had a couple of African American gentlemen.

274
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,000
And both of them were very good, very entertaining talk.

275
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,000
And they would have made a cute couple if they ever met up.

276
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
If they ever met up, yeah.

277
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
They could go double date.

278
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
Yeah, they could.

279
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000
These girls are from Utah and they were leaving.

280
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
They could go out and have dinner.

281
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Oh yeah, because we know there are no African Americans in Utah so they might be...

282
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000
Very few.

283
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,000
There actually are some more African Americans.

284
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000
There is.

285
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000
I'm joking around.

286
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000
I know.

287
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,000
Let's see, what are the Utah jokes I've heard?

288
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,000
I know an African American guy that's Mormon.

289
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000
Yeah.

290
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Oh wow.

291
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
Yeah, I've been so anyhow.

292
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000
There was that character on House who was black Mormon.

293
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000
Let's see.

294
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:10,000
But since I've got to perpetuate the stereotype, go ahead.

295
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Things about Utah.

296
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:18,000
I've heard that for an alcoholic, you don't want to be caught in Utah after sundown because

297
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
all the liquor stores close.

298
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Yeah, that's true.

299
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
And there's not as many of them either.

300
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000
No.

301
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,000
They're tightly controlled and they have the Blue Laws like we used to.

302
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Sunday, forget it.

303
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000
And after a certain time, forget it.

304
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000
All that stuff.

305
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000
Yeah.

306
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
And let's see.

307
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Well, we called them the Blue Laws.

308
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000
I don't know what they call it there.

309
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Yeah.

310
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,000
When Brigham Young was alive, they used to say all the women in Utah marry young.

311
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000
Yeah.

312
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Brigham Young.

313
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Let's see.

314
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Utah drivers are universally referred to as Utahards.

315
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Utahards.

316
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Yeah, I've heard that.

317
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:59,000
I've heard that and actually I experienced that going and seeing my nephew Cody in Grand

318
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
Junction, Colorado, which is right next to Utah.

319
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
Oh yeah, that's very close.

320
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000
Yeah, I said to you there, the Utahards were everywhere.

321
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Very prevalent.

322
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,000
All over the place, driving like idiots.

323
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Yeah.

324
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,000
Yeah.

325
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Bass player I used to work with, Kurt Coolidge, he lived in, I think it was Salt Lake City,

326
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
somewhere in Utah for a bit.

327
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,000
I think he was working for Musac at the time.

328
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000
Uh huh.

329
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000
And um.

330
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Like the music service, Musac?

331
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000
Yeah, they're still around.

332
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000
They're totally different than what they used to be.

333
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000
They would have to be.

334
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
They're online now, I believe, aren't they?

335
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000
Yeah.

336
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
You can also get it installed.

337
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:36,000
But he said he just didn't really enjoy his time in Utah.

338
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
The people are uptight.

339
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
It's just no fun.

340
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000
And he said, yeah, the drivers are just off in Utah.

341
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000
That's interesting.

342
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Well, they said they're more near Wyoming than they were in Utah.

343
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
So I think it's, yeah.

344
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Because they didn't seem too uptight at all.

345
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Okay, well he was more in the city.

346
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Okay.

347
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,000
But yeah, he worked for Musac.

348
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:04,000
What I remembered with Musac was they would make really lame versions of popular music.

349
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:10,000
And they'd do it with strings and horns, no vocals, and it would just be like syrup to

350
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,000
pour in your ear while you're shopping or at the doctor's office.

351
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,000
What really hurts is when you hear your music being turned into Musac.

352
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,000
Because then all of a sudden you realize you've got a little gray on you.

353
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Yeah.

354
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000
But apparently Musac turned into something else.

355
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:34,000
They would install professional systems in like doctor's offices or shopping centers or whatever.

356
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000
There is a huge variety of music available.

357
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:46,000
It is low cost because they don't have to pay the initial rights to the plate side of royalties.

358
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
He made it killing.

359
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:53,000
I mean, Kurt's the kind of guy who could sell anything to anybody because he's just got an act for it.

360
00:16:53,000 --> 00:17:00,000
But he said that he made just tons of money working for Musac and doing all these installs.

361
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:04,000
And he said, it's not your, you know, it's not Lawrence Welk music anymore.

362
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
They have some decent stuff.

363
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
No, no, no.

364
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
Last time I heard Musac in an elevator was Motley Crue.

365
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,000
It was Poison.

366
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000
And I couldn't believe it.

367
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,000
I'm sitting there going, wait a minute, what is it?

368
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000
Wait a minute, that's Motley Crue.

369
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Wait a minute, what is it?

370
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
Wait a minute, that's Poison.

371
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000
And then they went on to play a couple of songs that I didn't really recognize that well.

372
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:28,000
And then I think they played like something like Three Dog Night or something.

373
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
I was like, oh, okay.

374
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:33,000
But it used to be always, you know, raindrops keep falling on my head.

375
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Yeah, stuff like that.

376
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
I'd like to teach the world to sing.

377
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:43,000
A lot of American standards that we're talking about, like California and cruise ships over there seem to be into now.

378
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Yeah.

379
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000
It might be a mood thing and a copyright thing, maybe.

380
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Yeah.

381
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,000
I don't know.

382
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,000
Yeah.

383
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:56,000
So anyhow, did you hear about the new Southwest problem again?

384
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000
Oh, gosh.

385
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000
No, I don't heard it.

386
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000
Okay.

387
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
Not surprised.

388
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000
You know, this is a few days ago.

389
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:06,000
The Federal Aviation Administration on Tuesday morning lifted a nationwide ground stop to

390
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Southwest airline flights after earlier issuing the order citing equipment issues.

391
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
That's fucking scary.

392
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Yeah, it is.

393
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Equipment issues mean everything in the air could come right now.

394
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:23,000
There's still a hold on flights into Dallas left field, but it isn't now.

395
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:28,000
When I captured this article, there was still one.

396
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Yeah.

397
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:35,000
The FFA says there still may be other residual flight delays as a result of the pause.

398
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:41,000
And there's like hundreds, if not into the thousands of flight delays that day and night because of this.

399
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Yeah.

400
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Southwest Airlines requested the FFA pause air life departures, the agency told CNN in

401
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000
a statement.

402
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Wow.

403
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:55,000
Southwest reported technology issues Tuesday morning and said it would hopefully be resuming

404
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
our operation as soon as possible.

405
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,000
That's pretty serious if the airline is asking the FFA to ground up.

406
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000
You're getting where I'm getting.

407
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Yeah.

408
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Because when I first read it, I was like, okay, the FFA saw a potential issue.

409
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000
So that could be something horrible or it could be something small.

410
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:13,000
But Southwest is coming to them and saying, hey, stop us.

411
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
Yeah.

412
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Southwest, that tells me Southwest knows they were about to kill somebody.

413
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Yes, absolutely.

414
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Yeah.

415
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:25,000
The flight tracking website, FlightAware, said more than 1,500 of the airline's flights,

416
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000
okay, so it wasn't the thousands, delayed Tuesday far ahead of any U.S. carrier.

417
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,000
Southwest called the problem intermittent technology issues.

418
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
That's even worse.

419
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000
That's so bland and meaningless.

420
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Yeah, it means, oh, everything's okay now, take off.

421
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Oh, shit, everything's not okay.

422
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Hold on.

423
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Stay in air.

424
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Yeah.

425
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Yeah, intermittent means it could happen any time and they don't know what's causing it.

426
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Exactly.

427
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Yeah.

428
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000
So that's even more concerning is, okay, everything's great, take off.

429
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
I'm like, oh, shit, no, it isn't.

430
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,000
So then what do you do when everybody's in air and you don't know where they're at?

431
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Yeah.

432
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000
Yeah.

433
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,000
We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause, but we're hoping to get everyone

434
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
going ASAP.

435
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
The airline wrote in another social media post.

436
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Oh, my gosh.

437
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,000
And another thing about the first big failure that they had, they had ours too because I

438
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:21,000
was a victim of one around New Year's two years prior where I waited in Miami for eight

439
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:30,000
hours in a line and then I ended up having to get another, get a room for two more days

440
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
because they couldn't get us out.

441
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,000
They kept pushing it back, pushing it back, pushing it back, and then finally they said,

442
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000
well, we don't have any more flights.

443
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
And I said, why didn't you tell me this at first?

444
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000
I could have been on the beach all fucking day.

445
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000
They won't tell you because they don't want to leave you as a customer.

446
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000
Exactly.

447
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
They'd rather make you wait three days and still get your money than tell you now and

448
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,000
have you go fly on a different carrier.

449
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
And the people there I could have went off on had nothing to do with it.

450
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:58,000
So it's kind of like one of those deals like, you know what?

451
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000
Noted.

452
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Noted.

453
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
And that's why I'm switching airlines.

454
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,000
As soon as I use the rest of my vouchers up, that's it.

455
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
I'm done with it.

456
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Anyhow, yeah, it was so bad that the government made them give everybody money back and flights

457
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
back and credit and vouchers.

458
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000
They made them.

459
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,000
They ordered them to give back to people.

460
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,000
And what a rarity for the federal government to stand up to the airline industry.

461
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Well, it had to have been horrible.

462
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:32,000
And there had to have been a million people complaining to their congressmen.

463
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000
So, yep.

464
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Go ahead.

465
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
You remember JetBlue?

466
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000
I remember them.

467
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:41,000
They were barely around anymore, but yeah.

468
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,000
I watched a show about a JetBlue aircraft.

469
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:49,000
They flew DC-9s, I think, and they bought a bunch of old ones.

470
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Yeah, that sounds about right because that's how they initiated it.

471
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:58,000
They had older aircrafts, but if you wanted to save a ton on a flight, there they were.

472
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,000
So they bought these older DC-9s.

473
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:07,000
And all planes have oxygen generators in the overhead compartment.

474
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,000
You know how the mask drops down and then you have to pull on the mask.

475
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:17,000
By pulling on the mask, that starts a chemical reaction within the oxygen generator.

476
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000
It's not like a little can of oxygen.

477
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000
It's chemicals.

478
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,000
And when they combine, they make oxygen, and that's debris.

479
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,000
And they have to be surrounded by a heat shield because they get just insanely hot.

480
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Hot enough to ignite paper.

481
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,000
But they have a shelf life, so after a certain length of time, you've got to get rid of them.

482
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:44,000
So JetBlue was taking all these oxygen generators out of their planes and replacing them with new ones.

483
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:54,000
And they were told, okay, send the old ones back, but you've got to put a safety cap on them so they don't start generating oxygen during shipping.

484
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
JetBlue didn't have any of those caps.

485
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Decided not to bother getting it.

486
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:04,000
So what they did is they would just put tape on it or cut the cord off.

487
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:09,000
And for every one of them, they put a green tag saying, expired.

488
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:14,000
These are canisters about the size of a one-liter bottle of soda.

489
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:20,000
And they sat around for a couple of months in the service area.

490
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
I can tell you what happened already.

491
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,000
It was a company called SabreTech that did all this.

492
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
And they said, okay, well, these belong to JetBlue.

493
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
Let's just give them back to JetBlue.

494
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000
So they took them over to JetBlue and dumped them off.

495
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:36,000
JetBlue got ahold of them and said, what are these things?

496
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:46,000
And they wrote them down on the manifest not as expired oxygen generators, but oxygen canisters empty.

497
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,000
Oh, boy.

498
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:53,000
So when it was loaded on the airplane, the flight crew saw that they had empty oxygen canisters.

499
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:59,000
And they're like, oh, all that's in them is air because they're empty oxygen canisters.

500
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000
And they had 144 of them.

501
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,000
Oh, man. Okay.

502
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:16,000
And what happened was when the plane took off, these oxygen canisters, generators, were sitting on top of tires, boxes of paper, all sorts of other cargo.

503
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:20,000
As the plane bumped down the runway, one of those canisters activated.

504
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,000
And it heated up and then it activated the rest of them.

505
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:29,000
And then it set the tires on fire and it set the boxes of shit on fire.

506
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Oh, man. Wow.

507
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:37,000
And the temperature reached over 3,500 degrees in the cargo hold.

508
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,000
It burned through the floor into the airplane.

509
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Were they off to the ground?

510
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:46,000
They were in the air. The fumes incapacitated everybody.

511
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Everybody just passed out from the fumes and they nosed down and they crashed right into the airplane.

512
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Wow. Fuck.

513
00:24:53,000 --> 00:25:06,000
And two years prior, the FAA had told airliners, you need to put fire suppression equipment in your cargo holds, smoke detectors, fire detectors, and fire suppression equipment.

514
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:10,000
What all of the airlines did was, we'll just make them airtight.

515
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,000
That way if a fire breaks out, it uses up all the air, the fire goes out.

516
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Except in this case because it was oxygen generators.

517
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
Generators, yeah.

518
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000
All 144 were producing all the oxygen that the fire needed.

519
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,000
Wow.

520
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,000
It was just like putting the plane into a blast furnace.

521
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000
Yeah. Oh, my God.

522
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Yeah. And that changed regulation. They said, okay, from now on you have to. Everybody has to.

523
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,000
Well, that was the whole idea behind it in the first place.

524
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Yeah.

525
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000
Yeah.

526
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000
Wow.

527
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:46,000
And then you're mislabeling the cargo. If the flight crew had known what the cargo was, they might have refused to take off.

528
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,000
Yeah, they might have. Did everybody die or not?

529
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,000
Yeah, everybody died.

530
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000
How many?

531
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,000
There was less than 100 because there wasn't many people on board.

532
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:59,000
But flight crew three, two flight attendants, and then like 90-something passengers.

533
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Wow.

534
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Yeah.

535
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000
Oh, it was a DC-9. It wasn't that big of a plane.

536
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Yeah. Yeah.

537
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,000
But that really, JetBlue never really recovered from that.

538
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000
Wow.

539
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Yeah.

540
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Two ass bags and a box of Cheez-Its will be right back.

541
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:45,000
Hey, look. I think we found land. Oh, my God. I think we're safe.

542
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:54,000
Oh, no. It's the island of horrible jokes.

543
00:26:54,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Why? Can't it move? It carps his arm. Because then it would be a foot.

544
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000
Thank you, Cindy, Christopher's wife.

545
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,000
She made us a nice lunch. We're going to eat while we're podcasting.

546
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:15,000
So here's the wrapper. This way y'all can be jealous that we're eating yummy food and you're not.

547
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Yep. Yeah, yeah.

548
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:28,000
So I think I mentioned on a podcast recently that Ford has stopped production the F-150 Lightning, the all-electric pickup.

549
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:34,000
It turns out that they've just now confirmed what the problem has been.

550
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,000
I thought they should have production permanently because it wasn't selling.

551
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:46,000
But apparently, in early February, they had a number of completed pickups sitting in a holding lot.

552
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:56,000
And one of them caught on fire, just spontaneously started burning, set the other two next to it on fire, and all three of them just burned to the ground.

553
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Wow.

554
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:04,000
So then they stopped making them at that point.

555
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:15,000
They said that it was a battery thing because they've resumed production already.

556
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:26,000
They said it was battery supplier SKON to address the problem.

557
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,000
So apparently they fixed the problem and they're back in production.

558
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Ford says, we quickly identified the problem, that it was rare, not related to any production-wide design flaw,

559
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:45,000
and none of the vehicles already delivered are in danger, and none of them need to be returned to change or anything.

560
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:51,000
How bizarre that they caught the problem immediately before any of the vehicles left the lot.

561
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000
I don't believe it.

562
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Yeah, you're not left.

563
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:04,000
Unless those batteries were so defective that they immediately burned up before any of them get delivered to a customer.

564
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:11,000
The corporate double-speed van, that's just bullshit. Lawyers, lawyers, lawyering up.

565
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Now the big problem with these big battery fires is that the battery is storing a ton of energy.

566
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:27,000
And energy can't just disappear. It has to go somewhere. It has to do something.

567
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:32,000
So when the battery starts to burn and these things just, they generate power and they make themselves fun.

568
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,000
They're already on air, so go ahead Ron.

569
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:43,000
So as these batteries start to burn, the burning releases more energy that's stored in the battery,

570
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:49,000
and that keeps the fire going and then the fire releases more energy, so it's a cycle. It's a feedback cycle.

571
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Yeah.

572
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:55,000
Now starving the blaze of oxygen doesn't work.

573
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Yeah.

574
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Because the, there we go, because the fire isn't burning oxygen. It's burning the battery and its energy.

575
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Okay.

576
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:09,000
And submerging it in carbon dioxide foam, that doesn't work either.

577
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Pretty much all you can do when one of these car batteries starts burning like that is submerge the whole thing in water.

578
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Wow.

579
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Because the water will cool it, the water will ground out the electrical charge, and that puts out the fire.

580
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:30,000
But if your Tesla or your Ford electric vehicle is at the side of the road and burning, you're out of luck.

581
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Nothing's going to put it out. It's going to burn until it's all burned up.

582
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Here's my Velveeta pack.

583
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:45,000
Wow. And like you said, how convenient they found the problem right before.

584
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:52,000
According to Ford, none of these Defecto batteries have left for a lot yet, and they caught them all. I don't believe it.

585
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
I don't believe it at all.

586
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000
Not for a second.

587
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Nope.

588
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:04,000
And also a problem with these vehicle batteries is they store heat within them, and hours later they can reignite.

589
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000
You know, you put it out, and then it reignites.

590
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:13,000
And I've seen a video of firefighters of this electric car, and they say, we put this thing out four times already.

591
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,000
And you wait long enough, it just fires right back up.

592
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,000
There's going to be so many problems and lawsuits.

593
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Yep.

594
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:26,000
It'll be like the early days of the combustion engine.

595
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Yeah. I mean, look at Tesla and all the problems suddenly they're having.

596
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Yep.

597
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Yep.

598
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
So that's pretty amazing.

599
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Yeah, it is. Wow.

600
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Did you hear about the 20 million in gold that was stolen?

601
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,000
No.

602
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:53,000
In Toronto? At the airport?

603
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,000
No.

604
00:31:55,000 --> 00:32:08,000
A container carrying gold and other high value items worth at least 20 million Canadian police was stolen Monday from Toronto's Pearson Airport.

605
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:30,000
The police said the cargo arrived in an aircraft early in the evening. The old regional police inspector, Steven DeVine-Steen, or whatever, Goldfenstein, told reporters on Thursday the container was then uploaded and transported to a holding facility in accordance with the airport standard procedures for air cargo.

606
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:39,000
Sometime after that, roughly five square foot container was removed by illegal means and reported missing to the police shortly afterwards.

607
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000
That was an inside job all the way.

608
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Oh yeah.

609
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:47,000
It just happened they had enough time to leave the grounds, then they report it. Yeah.

610
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:52,000
My prediction is there's like 10 or 12 people there at the airport in on it.

611
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,000
Yeah.

612
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:01,000
And I'll bet you anything the police already know who all did it and are already zooming in on them.

613
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:08,000
The container contained a high value shipment which was mostly gold.

614
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,000
Or should there be security cameras?

615
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,000
That's what I, yeah.

616
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,000
It was an inside job I'm sure they temporarily quit working.

617
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Oh yeah.

618
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,000
How bizarre to be shipping gold around like that, you know?

619
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Yep.

620
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Yeah.

621
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,000
You wouldn't think anyone would ship gold like that.

622
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Wouldn't you like hire somebody in an armored vehicle?

623
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,000
Yeah.

624
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:41,000
I mean, I don't know, maybe it was coming from overseas, I don't know.

625
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,000
It could be.

626
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:48,000
And I'm sure it's insured to the max so they probably don't really give a ship.

627
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:53,000
They'll get the value of it and...

628
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Oh, look at this.

629
00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:00,000
KC Water warns about wastewater overflow in the River Market area.

630
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Oh, nice.

631
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,000
That's right where we are.

632
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,000
Uh huh.

633
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
Maybe that smell wasn't us.

634
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
No, maybe not.

635
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Mmm.

636
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:15,000
Broken water main near East 2nd Street in Delaware on Thursday.

637
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Wastewater ran into a ditch near the tracks and the storm line that leads into the Missouri River.

638
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:28,000
So it was washing a whole bunch of street crud and dirt and residue directly into the Missouri River.

639
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:35,000
So they had to shut that off and then shut off the water line.

640
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:40,000
No boil warning or anything needed because it was basically dumping into the river.

641
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,000
But apparently it's illegal to dump wastewater directly into the river before you treat it.

642
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
So that's why they had to stop it.

643
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Yep.

644
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
It's alright.

645
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
That wasn't much.

646
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,000
You know in Kansas, they got a new problem there.

647
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,000
Yep.

648
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,000
People finding $5 bills in their lawn.

649
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Huh.

650
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Folded up $5 bill.

651
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:04,000
The problem is, is it contains methamphetanol.

652
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Oh.

653
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Oh damn.

654
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,000
Yeah.

655
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000
Good.

656
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Okay, earlier this afternoon a citizen contacted the on-duty deputy to report.

657
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:20,000
This is in rural Kansas, in western Kansas.

658
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
The name of the town is Dighton.

659
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
Dighton, Kansas.

660
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000
And I guess this happened to a few people.

661
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,000
They went outside and on their lawn was a folded up $5 bill.

662
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,000
On the surface it's like score.

663
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Great.

664
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,000
Yay.

665
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:39,000
Well, they had either fentanyl or meth and it was folded up.

666
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,000
So when people opened it up, they touch it.

667
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,000
Oh.

668
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Methanol can kill you.

669
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Well, meth can too, but fentanyl, if you touch it, it can kill you.

670
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Yeah.

671
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,000
I mean, it depends on the dosage.

672
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:59,000
And other drug interactions and things like that.

673
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
But yeah, it's bad news.

674
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,000
And they did not specify how much the dosage was, whether it was enough to kill people or not.

675
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,000
But this has been happening and it happened to a few people.

676
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:17,000
And then in a town, I think about 30 miles away when I looked up on the Atlas or, you know, internet,

677
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,000
when I looked it up, it was about 30 miles away.

678
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,000
That happened there too to a couple of houses.

679
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:30,000
So evidently some psychopath was putting fentanyl in meth and folded up $5 bill

680
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:35,000
and just casually throwing it on people's lawns where a kid can grab it, a pet could grab it, whatever.

681
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Yeah.

682
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Plus I think some of these are people being pulled over, sort of tossing stuff out the window, you know, winds up on people's lawns.

683
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,000
Yeah, that's true.

684
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Maybe not in this case because it seems, you know, happened like to a couple of people and happened another place.

685
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,000
Yeah.

686
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,000
So anyhow, yeah.

687
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,000
And then some of it is that too.

688
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Because just like we used to go beers out the window when the cops weren't looking, remember?

689
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Right, yeah.

690
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:08,000
So the cop following us around would go around the curb real quick, throw out five beers real quick,

691
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
and then when he stops, he'd go, we don't have nothing in here.

692
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,000
Yep.

693
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000
You know, you guys didn't throw anything out when you're around the curb, do you?

694
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,000
Oh, hell no.

695
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Oh, well, no sir, not at all.

696
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:26,000
I got time, we got a cop in Warrensburg.

697
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
Jeff Huey was driving, were you with us?

698
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,000
And someone spilled wine all over his white pants.

699
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:39,000
So he got out, the cop stopped us, he got out, and he said, as he was driving and drinking, he said,

700
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:45,000
no, how come that's red wine all over your pants?

701
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:49,000
But then they had like an armed robbery, which never happened there at the time,

702
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:53,000
happened the same time that they were interrogating us kids, and they left.

703
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000
They had to leave.

704
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,000
They didn't have enough police force.

705
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:02,000
We looked out on that.

706
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:08,000
You know, scientists studying a giant collection of plastic trash floating in the middle of the open ocean

707
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:14,000
and found some unexpected inhabitants, a dozen of marine species that usually stick close to the coast.

708
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:21,000
I've heard of this, they're starting to create their own ecology there in the garbage patch.

709
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Yeah, they're just like, hey, this looks like a good place to have a little home.

710
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:37,000
Among the plastic debris, the researchers found all kinds of non-native species.

711
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Sorry, I've got to quit eating.

712
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:52,000
From worms to amoebas to find that many coastal species on relatively small sample size was shocking,

713
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:57,000
said Lindsay Haram, a marine ecologist who did this research while working at the

714
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Pisonian Environmental Research Center.

715
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:06,000
The findings published in Nature's Ecology and Evolution should help overrun the long idea that

716
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,000
the open ocean is a barrier that most coastal species could never breach.

717
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,000
Yeah, they found a way out there.

718
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,000
They did.

719
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,000
And you know, we probably can't clean up the garbage now because creatures live there.

720
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Yeah.

721
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,000
It's like if you accidentally create a wetland, you can't undo it.

722
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
That's right.

723
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000
Now that it's a wetland, you have to leave it there.

724
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Yeah.

725
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,000
And think of this now, garbage might become protected.

726
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Oh, wow.

727
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,000
Maybe so.

728
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,000
Yeah.

729
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Just like the sand bars that they built on the Missouri River so the water wouldn't just run off so quick.

730
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Yeah.

731
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:49,000
All of a sudden, a certain species of frogs started developing there.

732
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
I'm not even sure if they had them before the sand bars.

733
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
Wow.

734
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,000
Now they can't move them.

735
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000
They've got to stay there.

736
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Yeah, it's become a habitat.

737
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,000
Yep.

738
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:02,000
I guess it's good that the garbage had made of plastic because it'll last for thousands of years.

739
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Yeah.

740
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,000
That's true.

741
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,000
It's never going to dissolve, so they've got to hope for life.

742
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Yeah.

743
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:15,000
This region between Hawaii and California has become a giant garbage suit because currents

744
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,000
drag and floating debris that accumulates over time.

745
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Yeah.

746
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:23,000
Most of the plastic trash from there that was examined by researchers shows signs of being

747
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,000
colonized, so most of it, by coastal species.

748
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,000
Yeah.

749
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000
So they jump on it when it was on the beach.

750
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,000
Oh, okay.

751
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Yeah, and followed it out.

752
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:36,000
Yeah, and then it just started doing what they do, hanging out, reproducing, and now

753
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:41,000
all of a sudden it's like little barriers of floating barriers of a species that should

754
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,000
be on land.

755
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,000
That's pretty cool.

756
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000
It is, isn't it?

757
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,000
Yeah.

758
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Okay, let's see here.

759
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000
There's a fireball in northern Maine.

760
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
That always sounds good.

761
00:40:48,000 --> 00:41:05,000
A rare fireball was spotted streaking across the northern Maine sky in broad daylight last

762
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000
week.

763
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Experts hoping to study the meteorite are now offering a financial reward to anyone who

764
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000
can recover a piece of it.

765
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
Oh, cool.

766
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,000
Yeah, that's pretty cool, isn't it?

767
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:19,000
They're like, yeah, man, you find this thing and bring it to us and get some money.

768
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,000
It's probably not worth anything to anyone else except them.

769
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,000
Yeah.

770
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,000
It's not the kind of thing you can fake.

771
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,000
No.

772
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,000
They could tell.

773
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,000
Hey.

774
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,000
What's up, dude?

775
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,000
How are you doing, man?

776
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,000
I'm good, man.

777
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,000
Good to see you.

778
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,000
I'm good.

779
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Good seeing you.

780
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,000
I'm happy to see my wife and my family and my mom.

781
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,000
Oh, hey.

782
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Hey, nice to meet you guys.

783
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000
Good to see you, Mark.

784
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,000
Yeah, good seeing you.

785
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,000
Will you be there tomorrow?

786
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,000
No.

787
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Someone said no.

788
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,000
No?

789
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000
All right.

790
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,000
Okay.

791
00:41:45,000 --> 00:42:01,680
NASA says that this was the first radar-observed meteorite fall over a meteorite fall ever seen

792
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,680
in Maine.

793
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,680
So Maine has never seen a meteorite before?

794
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:10,680
Doesn't seem like there's any reason they would avoid Maine.

795
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:11,680
Yeah.

796
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,680
Maybe it's just because it's small?

797
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:18,680
I guess. Probably just, I'm sure it's fell before, just no one's ever noticed.

798
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:23,680
That's especially unusual because most fireballs are spotted during the night.

799
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:31,680
When there are light contrasts against the dark sky as the Maine Mineral and Gym Museum noticed in a Wednesday Facebook post,

800
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:40,680
this fireball being, I always think of football, this fireball being seen during the day is incredibly rare.

801
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,680
Imagine how bright it would have been at night if it hadn't been.

802
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,680
So they saw it during the day.

803
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:46,680
Wow, they just...

804
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,680
Imagine how bright that had to have been.

805
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,680
People probably thought that Russia shot off their missiles.

806
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:51,680
I mean, wouldn't they?

807
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:57,680
That'd be the first thing I'd thought. Something like that. I'd be like, you can see that during the day? Oh, shit.

808
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:04,680
Wow. Using radar, NASA was able to detect the meteorites that had fallen and calculate where they may have landed.

809
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:10,680
Noted that strong winds up to 100 miles per hour carried smaller ones across the border into Canada.

810
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:18,680
The mile-wide strewn field stretches from just north of Waite, Maine to Canoes, New Brunswick.

811
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,680
So all the way up to New Brunswick.

812
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,680
And the Mineral Museum is encouraging people to go explore it.

813
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,680
Neat. Yeah. Isn't that cool?

814
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:34,680
I was starting to remember the meteorite that fell in...I think it was Siberia?

815
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:35,680
Uh-huh.

816
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,680
In 1903. I think it's called Tunguska Forest.

817
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:51,680
Witnesses say this giant fireball came streaking overhead and then there was the most insane, ear-shattering, ground-shaking explosion.

818
00:43:51,680 --> 00:44:00,680
And when they went to look at the impact site, trees were leveled for like a mile out from those impact craters.

819
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:05,680
Just enormous and crazy.

820
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:15,680
They realized later through lots of research that it was a meteorite that exploded just above the ground from internal pressures, the needs, etc.

821
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:27,680
But the thing is it mimicked a nuclear detonation so closely that if it had happened in 1953 instead of 1903, it probably would have started World War III.

822
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:28,680
Wow.

823
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:37,680
There was no way they could have gotten the information to Russia in time that this wasn't the U.S. exploding a nuke over their territory because it looked just like that.

824
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:38,680
Wow.

825
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:42,680
Fifty years later, we probably would be a burned-up cinder of a planet right now.

826
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:43,680
Wow.

827
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:44,680
Isn't that nuts?

828
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:45,680
That is nuts.

829
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:54,680
And then I was reading a book where it was like an old attorney general.

830
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,680
He's since passed away since he set the book out.

831
00:44:58,680 --> 00:44:59,680
He set the book out.

832
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,680
It was like 90-something.

833
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:07,680
The closest we ever came to nuclear war, government-wise, was during the Nixon administration.

834
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,680
Oh, wow.

835
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:10,680
Yeah.

836
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:22,680
And what happened was this, they all of a sudden, they have the guy monitoring, you know, and their computer back then said that Russia sent off all their missiles.

837
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:23,680
Wow.

838
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:29,680
So he closed it out or whatever, then brought it back to make sure, you know, it wasn't a mistake.

839
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:35,680
It still showed that it was all these missiles are coming at us.

840
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,680
So he's like, oh, fuck, woke up the president.

841
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:43,680
Mr. President, it appears that Russia has sent all their nuclear weapons at us.

842
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:44,680
What?

843
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:50,680
Yeah, it looks like, OK, here's what you have to do.

844
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:56,680
And Nixon told him, like, you know, maybe you need to do one more check, but use your own judgment.

845
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,680
He did one more check.

846
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,680
And he noticed some inconsistencies.

847
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,680
Oh.

848
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:10,680
He called the president back and said, there's some inconsistencies. The president said, wait, don't do shit.

849
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:21,680
Then he said he had, I don't know, some other people go in there and check with him, and they found out there was just a complete computer glitch that said that they launched him.

850
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:25,680
And we were literally 30 seconds away from hitting that button.

851
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:29,680
Yeah.

852
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,680
And nobody knew about it.

853
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,680
Yeah.

854
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,680
And so tight-lipped, nobody knew about it until he wrote the book.

855
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,680
And now nobody still knows about it because nobody reads books.

856
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,680
Yeah. And a lot of people wouldn't care. They're like, oh, well, it didn't happen.

857
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,680
Yeah, who cares?

858
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:45,680
Yeah.

859
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,680
Hey, isn't battenmitten on ESPN4?

860
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,680
Yeah, it is.

861
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,680
Turn it there.

862
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,680
Oh.

863
00:46:53,680 --> 00:47:04,680
Well, I have discovered recently that according to at least one person, it is a bad thing to intentionally lose weight.

864
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:10,680
There is a woman who I guess you would call her a fat advocate.

865
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:11,680
Really?

866
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:22,680
And in her opinion, which she has stated on a video in public media, that intentionally losing weight is fatphobic.

867
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,680
That means you're a bad person.

868
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:25,680
Oh my God.

869
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,680
Mm-hmm.

870
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:34,680
It offends her as a bad person that people would intentionally lose weight to not look like her.

871
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:41,680
So that means you're a hater if you intentionally lose weight, apparently.

872
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:48,680
This goes to show you if you can think of anything long enough, you can come up with any conclusion.

873
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:53,680
What I started thinking of immediately was, okay, if you intentionally gain weight, then—

874
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,680
Are you a skinny hater?

875
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,680
You're a hater for thin people or anorexics.

876
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:58,680
Oh, that's right.

877
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,680
So you can't do that either.

878
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,680
You know what? You've got to stay the same your whole life.

879
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:06,680
You've got to weigh one weight and you've got to stay that your entire life.

880
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:10,680
Okay.

881
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:17,680
She's probably kind of the same kind of person that said if you changed your—I mean, if you decided to learn a new language, it means you're a hater.

882
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,680
If you're old language, no.

883
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:25,680
People get to do different things.

884
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:26,680
Wow.

885
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,680
Oh, you're no longer driving a Ford? You hate Ford.

886
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,680
No, you're not. Yeah, that's what I mean.

887
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:41,680
People overthink shit so much or they try to come up with stuff to pound on somebody purposely.

888
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,680
You know what I mean?

889
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:50,680
I kind of think in this case, this woman wants to change reality to where—

890
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,680
You know where you are? To where she's not the oddball.

891
00:48:53,680 --> 00:49:05,680
Right. She wants the world to change its opinion to where being fat is idolized and encouraged and enjoyed.

892
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,680
And everybody wants to be that.

893
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:08,680
Yeah.

894
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:12,680
Which is total fantasy because people get to be what they want to be.

895
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:19,680
Some people want to be big, some want to be small, some want to go back and forth, some want to be stick skin and bones.

896
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:25,680
It's not up to anybody to say, oh, the whole world should like this because that's how I am.

897
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:26,680
Yeah, exactly.

898
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:27,680
Bullshit.

899
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:31,680
That's like saying, I like oatmeal cookies but not chocolate chip cookies.

900
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,680
No, I want you to like oatmeal cookies too.

901
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,680
I just don't like them. I don't like the taste.

902
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,680
No, no, no. You need to like them.

903
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:44,680
If you don't, then you're discriminating against oatmeal cookies so next time you grab a box of cookies there better be some fucking oatmeal in there.

904
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,680
No.

905
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,680
I mean, to me that's about the same thing.

906
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:54,680
Yeah. But the just kind of patheticness.

907
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:55,680
It is.

908
00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:01,680
Of not being able to feel good about who you are and what you are and how you look.

909
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:09,680
That you have to go out of your ways to criticize strangers who don't even know you, who've never heard of you.

910
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,680
For doing something probably positive with their life?

911
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:20,680
Yeah. Pretty much everybody agrees that you're healthier at a certain weight or in a range of weight.

912
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:26,680
But she doesn't want that to be reality. She wants the reality to be that everyone's a hater who's not like her.

913
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:32,680
Yeah. I mean there's a reason there's like these air links based on a 2000 calorie diet.

914
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:40,680
And so much of this, so much of that, less of this, less of that is what's accepted and used as guidelines.

915
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:41,680
Yep.

916
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:45,680
And that's because these people did the research. They know what they're talking about.

917
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,680
They're telling you what is bad for you and what you should not do.

918
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,680
So if you have like 30% body fat, not good.

919
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:52,680
Yep.

920
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:54,680
The way it is.

921
00:50:54,680 --> 00:51:01,680
You kind of notice you don't see a lot of 80 and 90 year old people who are enormously obese.

922
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:02,680
Not very much.

923
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:03,680
They don't make it that age.

924
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:04,680
No.

925
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,680
Jimmy Carter is almost 100 years old. He's skinny as a rail.

926
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:13,680
Skinny as a rail, yep. Carol Burnett is 90. Skinny as a rail.

927
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,680
Betty White almost reached 100.

928
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:16,680
Skinny.

929
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:17,680
Yep.

930
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,680
Yep. It's true. So, anyway.

931
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,680
And you aren't fat. It's not like I've got anything to brag about.

932
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,680
No, me neither. I mean, it's the way it is.

933
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:32,680
And you know what? If I could, well, I could change it. I guess I, you know, I would love to change it.

934
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,680
How's that? I have changed it before.

935
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,680
And I'm down a little from where I was, you know, so I'm working on it again.

936
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,680
So it's a never ending struggle for me, but I never wish to be overweight.

937
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:46,680
Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think anybody really wishes it.

938
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:48,680
Except this person.

939
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:49,680
Yeah.

940
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:58,680
But I still, I still contend if you were to really get into her real feelings, she is lying to herself or people or both.

941
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:02,680
Yeah. If someone offered her a pill that made her thin over weight, she'd take it.

942
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,680
Yeah. Yeah. It would like guarantee to thin you down.

943
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:06,680
Yeah.

944
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,680
Yeah, she'd be like, eh, you know, I'm just doing it for health.

945
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:10,680
Yeah.

946
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:11,680
Whatever.

947
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:15,680
But you know, she wouldn't be doing it for health. She'd be doing it because she thinks she looks better.

948
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:20,680
You know, people will do what they think makes them look better over what's healthy.

949
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:21,680
Yeah, that's true.

950
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:26,680
Billy Crystal had a character based on that. It's better to look good than to feel good.

951
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:31,680
This is for so many people. That's their daily mantra. I don't care how I feel. I just want to look good.

952
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:40,680
Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's true. And I like that mantra too. It's like, you know, I got nothing to live up. Yeah.

953
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:48,680
When you're talking about the food pyramid, we grew up with that food pyramid that was introduced in the 50s.

954
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:57,680
That has been discredited, I don't know how many times, and people still use it because it was part of their childhood.

955
00:52:57,680 --> 00:52:59,680
But it turns out that whole food pyramid thing.

956
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:00,680
Oh, it was bullshit.

957
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:07,680
It was. It was made in cooperation with the food producers and growers. And they said, here's what we want to sell.

958
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:12,680
Here's what we can produce and sell. So that's what you should be telling people they need to eat.

959
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:19,680
Yeah. And now they're like, nah, not that much starch. I mean, they had a whole section, nothing but starch.

960
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:25,680
And now it's like, no, those are empty calories. They just jump on you. They never get off.

961
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:34,680
But they were cheap to produce and easy to transport. So the food grower industry said, make those a big part of the daily intake so we can make our money.

962
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:41,680
And the FDA said, OK. And then they taught it to us in grade school. They taught us how to eat poorly in grade school.

963
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,680
The government taught us how to eat like, eat shit.

964
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:47,680
The growers told them.

965
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:53,680
To Deucebagsandmicrophone.net, you're one stop for everything Deucebaggery.

966
00:53:53,680 --> 00:54:00,680
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967
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:07,680
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968
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,680
To Deucebagsandmicrophone.net is up and running.

969
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:16,680
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970
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:22,680
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971
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:25,680
Watch as the Deucebags get stung by a stalk of bees.

972
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:34,680
Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out. Watch Mark revisit Clinton, Missouri to claim his innocence for all the man shitter accusations.

973
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:39,680
Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free Deucebag calendar.

974
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,680
Mark off the day with a Deucebag looking at you.

975
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:55,680
Supplies are limited so act now.

976
00:54:55,680 --> 00:55:01,680
He being said he knows he's out of his expresso's in Jackson and Memphis.

977
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:08,680
They're coming. Nashville he's down to his last few. He can't produce it quick enough. He's sorry.

978
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:21,680
He said that he's going to get him probably his whole plan is to have it well stocked in early summer to where he's never going to run out again.

979
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,680
No, that's a good idea.

980
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:28,680
And I think the next podcast we do will probably be from the Filthy Builders.

981
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,680
Yeah, we should definitely go back there.

982
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:34,680
Yeah, yeah. Well, you already sent the invite out, but we already had the day planned.

983
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:38,680
Yeah, the draft is coming next week and we're going to be there.

984
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,680
And then after that, we're going to dedicate some time to him. Yeah.

985
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:46,680
Already talked about it. He's already going to book it as soon as we say yes.

986
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:50,680
We told him if he could get the draft there in Nashville, you know, we'd be there.

987
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:56,680
Well, he's already said he's got enough credit for the Omni to keep us there for three weeks if we want.

988
00:55:56,680 --> 00:56:02,680
Nice. So there. OK, I have some random weird odd animal facts.

989
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,680
I love animal facts. So do I.

990
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,680
All right. You like animal facts, Rob? Oh, yeah.

991
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:13,680
OK, who doesn't? Let's hear a rah rah. Rah rah. Rah.

992
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:19,680
You need one more, Rob. Rah. There we go. OK, all right.

993
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,680
Did you know that penguins can jump as high as six feet in the air?

994
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:28,680
Oh, damn. You imagine trying to pet a penguin and it jumps up to your face? Yikes.

995
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:33,680
Like, ah. Why would they need to jump?

996
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:39,680
I don't know. Maybe from iceberg to iceberg. That could be. Yeah.

997
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,680
You know, I mean, they just dried off and want to get their feet wet. I don't know.

998
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:48,680
They can't fly. Oh, yeah. So they got to have some other gimmick. Yeah, that's true.

999
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,680
Yeah. So like, all right, you have wings, but you can't fly.

1000
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:56,680
So, well, you can jump six foot in there. There you go. OK.

1001
00:56:56,680 --> 00:57:00,680
All right. That's your compensation for not being able to fly.

1002
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:04,680
Yeah. I guess I'll take it. All right.

1003
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:09,680
Did you know that all polar bears are left handed? Oh, crazy.

1004
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,680
No, I didn't know that. Well, now you do. Huh.

1005
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:19,680
Yeah, I've seen one right one time. It was left handed. Oh, OK. Yeah.

1006
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:21,680
You know, that there was that. He drew a middle finger at the zoo.

1007
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:25,680
And there was that famous baseball pitcher that was a polar bear and he was a lefty.

1008
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,680
Yeah, he was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1009
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:33,680
What's his name? Klondike? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now pitching in relief Klondike.

1010
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:40,680
Oh, Klondike has just eaten the first basement.

1011
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:47,680
Oh, shit. He's not stopping there, folks. First day, first second row. Get out. Leave right now.

1012
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:53,680
General admission is now being attacked by a polar bear.

1013
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:57,680
Hurry. He's grabbing people's Pepsi's.

1014
00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:00,680
Well, no, he's a polar bear. He has to drink Coke. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

1015
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:05,680
It's the Coca-Cola. Oh, he's grabbing the Pepsi's in protest and throwing it. Oh, gotcha. Yeah.

1016
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:12,680
All right. Did you know that an eagle can kill a young deer and fly carrying it? Oh, damn.

1017
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:17,680
Actually, I did know that because I saw that on a nature show one time. Crazy. Oh, yeah.

1018
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:22,680
It was brutal. The mom was right there and he just comes out, fucking grabs it.

1019
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:27,680
What do I do? Little juniors off in the clouds.

1020
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:33,680
And the problem with an eagle is it doesn't kill you to eat you. It just starts eating you. Yeah.

1021
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:40,680
Until it hits something really vital and you bleed out, you're there getting eaten. Yeah.

1022
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:47,680
Did you know that it was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up? Oh, wow.

1023
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:52,680
The frog vomits its entire stomach out so the organ is dangling out of its mouth.

1024
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:59,680
Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all the stomach's contents and swallows the stomach back down again.

1025
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:04,680
Oh, nasty. It's a survival technique, I guess.

1026
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:09,680
Oh, I wouldn't want to see my date doing that.

1027
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:15,680
Hey, I'm a frog. What do you expect? Read up, you asshole. I'm sorry.

1028
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:22,680
Oh, my gosh. Did you know that the leg bones of a bat are so thin they can't walk?

1029
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:27,680
Oh, wow. You know, I've never seen a bat walking. Many are? Yeah. Interesting.

1030
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:32,680
They like to hang upside down. So if you ever hear someone go walk like a bat, you just fall on the floor?

1031
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:35,680
Yes.

1032
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:46,680
I did know this. Did you know that the katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs?

1033
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:51,680
Yes. You can see them, too. Yeah, you can see them. Yeah, they're weird.

1034
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:59,680
Yep. And then crickets make that violin noise with their hind legs, which is their mating call.

1035
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:05,680
Did you know that starfish have no blood supply? No, I didn't know that.

1036
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:10,680
They use seawater for their circulatory system. Wow, that's interesting.

1037
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:18,680
So there's like a constant supply all around them. It's as if we were swimming in blood constantly.

1038
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,680
So we never had to have our own blood supply. It just came and went. Wow.

1039
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:27,680
Isn't that weird? I mean, actually, if you think of oxygen, we need oxygen for our blood, right?

1040
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:31,680
Yeah, it's kind of almost like that. We're kind of like swimming in oxygen.

1041
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:38,680
Yeah. Well, I mean, every bit of nature has its own aspect to that, so I can totally believe that.

1042
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:43,680
Yeah. So, did you know that slugs have four noses?

1043
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:51,680
Oh, why would they need four noses? I don't know. I could not make any hints or tells on why they'd have four noses.

1044
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:55,680
Because they don't breathe through them. They just smell things. Yeah.

1045
01:00:55,680 --> 01:01:00,680
Funny. And why would they need to smell things? I mean, they're slugs.

1046
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:04,680
I don't know. Maybe to find other slugs to meet with. Maybe.

1047
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:09,680
Or they're like going through and go, oh, shit, antifreeze. Other way.

1048
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:16,680
Back left. Hard left. Why? There's antifreeze. I smell salt. Yeah. I smell salt. Let's get the fuck out of here.

1049
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:21,680
Oh, no. Joey's been dissolved.

1050
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:26,680
Yeah. You never buy your pet slug. You salt watered taffy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I learned the hard way.

1051
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:35,680
My poor little pet slug shriveled up. They love that taffy, but man, they didn't last long.

1052
01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:45,680
OK. Did you know why ostriches stick their heads in the sand? No. They look for water. Oh, OK.

1053
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:55,680
What a way, though, man. It's like, oh, hey, everybody, it's over here.

1054
01:01:55,680 --> 01:02:02,680
There's a lot of it over here, guys. So, yeah, I wonder if the, you know, emus do that, too, right?

1055
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:09,680
I think so. Yeah. So does Lemu emu do that and Doug get after him? Must be. Yeah.

1056
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:15,680
They had a commercial where he did put his head in the ground. Oh, that's right. That's right. OK. Yep. OK.

1057
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:20,680
All right. Well, they did address that. I'm very happy for Liberty Mutual that they addressed that. That's good.

1058
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:31,680
They did their homework. Did you know that woodpeckers will wrap their tongue around their brain to cushion it while they're pecking on a hard tree?

1059
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:36,680
That makes a lot of sense. I love that. I'd love to get a nature. I'll find a nature photo of that.

1060
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:47,680
Yeah, I've seen the cutaway diagram. There's an opening around the bird's skull and brain, and it slides its tongue up in there as an extra cushion.

1061
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,680
That makes sense. When it's hammering on a tree, the brain doesn't slot around.

1062
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:56,680
I was imagining a different, OK, that you wouldn't be able to see that somewhere. Yeah. This is done internally.

1063
01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:03,680
Oh, nice. Yeah. You know, back to emus, you know the llama spit at you if they get mad? Yeah. Yeah.

1064
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:11,680
We and Davey found out the hard way. These gravel roads that we used to drive around and drink a couple of beers on or just listen to tunes.

1065
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:17,680
You've probably been down there, Robbie, the gravel roads around Cleveland, Missouri. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep.

1066
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:24,680
Well, there's this llama farm that used to be just to the north of Cleveland out near just past State Line.

1067
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:30,680
And for those of you people that know, it'd be Mission Road out there. Oh, OK. OK.

1068
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:34,680
So we're out on Mission Road and we see this llama farm and me and Davey stop.

1069
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:40,680
We're like, oh, cool llamas. So we're like, hey, let's make noises at them and see what they do.

1070
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:46,680
Tease the llamas. Oh, yeah. So we're sitting there teasing the llamas. And they're all, they're a little ways away.

1071
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:50,680
They're like a half a pasture away. And they're all just sitting there eating and looking at us.

1072
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:55,680
You know, kind of like cows do. Some of them are eating, some of them are looking at us, some of them are looking the other way.

1073
01:03:55,680 --> 01:04:00,680
Some of them looking at us and we're going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

1074
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:05,680
And Davey breaks out with this like fucking 10 minute noise of some weird shit.

1075
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:12,680
And somewhere in the middle of that 10 minutes, the llamas all got on red alert and charged us and spit at us.

1076
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:20,680
Oh, I'm dairy free. I'm sorry. I can't. What are those little donuts? Thank you. Appreciate it.

1077
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:26,680
Hey, you got anything you want to talk about? That's my longest time, man. I'm good. Thank you.

1078
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:30,680
OK. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, we around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1079
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:36,680
Anytime you want. Sounds good. Thank you. You know, I've seen quite a few people run into our banner.

1080
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:43,680
Yeah, because they're not looking. They're just walking along, not looking. And I see the fluttering from the banner pretty much invariably.

1081
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:48,680
When they run into it, they turn and look with this disgusted look on their face like, what the hell?

1082
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:52,680
They're mad because they weren't looking where they were going.

1083
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:59,680
That's funny. That is. Our poor banner is going to get knocked over. Should have pointed at them and laughed.

1084
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:09,680
You got derailed by a couple of douches. It's on a six foot tall stand. It's about one foot by four feet. And they don't see it.

1085
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:15,680
They walk right into it. That's awesome. I love that. Yep.

1086
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:21,680
It's not like we're blocking the pathway. It's all over here against the wall. Yeah.

1087
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:29,680
It's just funny. That is great. And a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years.

1088
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:34,680
There are no reported cases of an ostrich buried its head in the sand. Yeah.

1089
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:42,680
So even. OK. So ostriches this counter. I didn't read this before I downloaded all of it.

1090
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:46,680
So an ostrich does not stick its head in the sand for water. No.

1091
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:51,680
They used to say it would do that when it was afraid because it thought it was hiding.

1092
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:57,680
Which was, you know, I mean, that was good for Saturday morning cartoons. Didn't have any truth behind it.

1093
01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:02,680
Now I'm kind of disgruntled because this has both a monitor. I don't know what to believe and not to believe.

1094
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:09,680
Yeah. Well, Emu and an ostrich are different creatures. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. OK.

1095
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:14,680
Well, anyhow, it is possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.

1096
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:23,680
And I can't believe that because a cow has those really low kneecap like deal.

1097
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:28,680
Imagine trying to walk downstairs. They fall. They can't lock it in. Yeah. Yeah.

1098
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:34,680
They would just tumble. But yeah, I've seen cows walking up ramps and up, you know, rocky, steep slopes.

1099
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:41,680
But walk down. Now they would roll. They would roll. They would find another way around.

1100
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:46,680
It's possible. Let's see. No, no, no. I already read that. A shrimp's heart is in its head.

1101
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:54,680
Didn't know that. Bizarre. That makes sense though, because you see all you see from the shrimp on their bodies is the shit tube.

1102
01:06:54,680 --> 01:07:00,680
Yeah. From like the legs down, it's just tail meat. Yeah. So you couldn't really see. Yeah. They'd have to be up there somewhere.

1103
01:07:00,680 --> 01:07:07,680
I love how the food industry calls it a vein in the tail of a shrimp. No, it's their colon.

1104
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:13,680
It's their large intestine. It's full of snake and red food. I know people that will not eat shrimp unless the shit tube's been drained out.

1105
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:19,680
Yeah. You can squeeze it out of there and then you can see you don't even barely see the shit tube after you squeeze it out.

1106
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:27,680
I think it's just funny the restaurants and food producers call it a vein. I know. It's like, nope, that's a shit tube. It's not a vein.

1107
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:38,680
You know that a shrimp can sleep for three years. No, sleep. I didn't know shrimp needed to sleep.

1108
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:46,680
You'd think at a certain point. Oh no, a snail. A snail. Well, still a snail. I mean, if a brain is that primitive, why does it need sleep?

1109
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:52,680
Is that why it needs three noses? Could be. You ever smell the alarm clock?

1110
01:07:52,680 --> 01:08:00,680
I smell a beeping.

1111
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:09,680
OK, the chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born after it's dead.

1112
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:21,680
Wow. Think of that cycle. You grab its eggs, put it in the fridge, you kill it for dinner, and then you eat it for breakfast the next morning.

1113
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:28,680
It's off spring. Yeah, so when you're having a good big old omelet, you're having chicken abortions.

1114
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:39,680
Yeah. Wow. Is veal, veal is a calf that's been born, right? Yes. It's a young cow that they basically, it's horrible.

1115
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:44,680
I'll never eat veal. No, I won't either. The way they mistreat the animal, just they kill it.

1116
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:52,680
They want it tender, so they hang it up, they beat it regularly until it dies. They don't let it walk. Yeah, they don't let it walk. It's horrible.

1117
01:08:52,680 --> 01:09:05,680
I think it should be outlawed myself, but anyhow, people go, well, it's natural to eat. Well, you know what? No, it's not natural to hang a fucking animal up.

1118
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:09,680
If you want to kill it to eat it because I'm a meat eater too, OK.

1119
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:16,680
You want to go walk up and eat it right then and there, but don't give it a life of misery. Yeah.

1120
01:09:16,680 --> 01:09:27,680
And I mean, and that's why, you know, I like the cattle grazers that are ethical, and I'm for the egg producers and the chicken producers that are ethical.

1121
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:33,680
Yeah. They're like wild game, you know, because the animal is having the time of its life, right, until the moment the bullet found it.

1122
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:41,680
Yeah, yep. And then by that time, it's natural selection because if not, it's probably going to die in a year from a predator anyhow. It's just not going to be your gun.

1123
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:48,680
Yeah. No antibiotics. Yep. Yeah, that's true. Yep.

1124
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:56,680
Let's see. Did you know that some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure? I didn't know this. Oh, I've seen those seizure dogs.

1125
01:09:56,680 --> 01:10:08,680
Epilective seizure or even protect the child from injury. They're not trained to do this. They simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack, which I knew because I watched a special on it.

1126
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:16,680
And a dog can watch one attack and know to go over there and to protect the child. Yeah. And I will go a step further.

1127
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:23,680
Most dogs that have not been trained to hurt by man protect children. Oh, yeah. They know. Yes.

1128
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:32,680
I've had so many dogs that someone will walk up to the child and they jump in front of it. And I mean, it's their natural, you know, they're good animals.

1129
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:45,680
So unless you raise them to kill, then that's different. Did you know that? And I did know this because I looked it up. I actually had an article on this.

1130
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:54,680
Origin of words. You know that a pregnant goldfish is called a twit. Oh, that's right. I looked that up a long time ago.

1131
01:10:54,680 --> 01:11:04,680
Where the origin of twit came from. That's funny. Yeah. And the original one came from a pregnant goldfish.

1132
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:22,680
You're familiar with the fish called a guppy. Yes. Their reproductive cycle is the male has a modified fin that acts as a delivery tube for his little fishy sperm.

1133
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:37,680
And he uses that to inject the sperm into the female. She stores it, uses just enough to fertilize the eggs and they grow inside her and she squirts them out as little baby guppies.

1134
01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:43,680
They're not fish eggs. They come out already swimming. But she never has to breed again.

1135
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:54,680
She gets enough sperm from that single initial breeding to make babies for the rest of her life. Wow. Because she stores it and only uses as much as she needs.

1136
01:11:54,680 --> 01:12:01,680
And after that she's like, kids, just close. Get out of here. Yep. Now the males will continue to try to breed with her, but none of them are doing any good.

1137
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:08,680
Come on, man. Don't you need babies? No. Farbacys closed. Get the fuck out of here.

1138
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:16,680
Did you know that rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months two rats can have over a million descendants?

1139
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:27,680
That's nasty. So in the Middle Ages when the idiots thought cats were evil and they killed them all and they all got the black plague from rats? Yep.

1140
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:39,680
There you go. Did you know that there are only three types of snakes on the island of Tunisia? All three are deadly poisonous.

1141
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:49,680
So if you see a snake in Tasmania, don't get near it. It's going to kill you if it bites you probably.

1142
01:12:49,680 --> 01:13:03,680
Did you know that all snakes are meat eaters? There's not a single snake that eats vegetables or scavengers for food or that they're all hunters.

1143
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:13,680
They all hunt live prey. Every single snake. Oh wow. Yeah. I got one for you. This is not the same as animal facts.

1144
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:23,680
Every time you lick a stamp you're consuming one tenth of a calorie. Wow. You're probably burning it off too but it's probably a wash.

1145
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:35,680
Did you know that a kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals that cause relaxation? That's pretty cool.

1146
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:43,680
Women seem to like light and frequent kisses more than strenuous ones. That makes sense.

1147
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:51,680
You got an amy man? You can't move that tongue anymore than half fucking move it down the road. You got an amy man? You fucking loose lips son of a bitch.

1148
01:13:51,680 --> 01:14:02,680
On the one hand the shorter duration more frequent that means the woman has more chance to talk. Tell you what to do next.

1149
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:10,680
Nobody likes a sloppy kisser. Your whole fucking face is wet. They gotta be really hot to overcome the sloppy kiss.

1150
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:16,680
Other than that it's kind of like a, I don't know man I gotta go see my psychologist. I'll see you later. What?

1151
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:24,680
I remember being shocked as a ninth grader. I heard two girls on the school bus talking about a guy who they thought was really cute.

1152
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:33,680
But he was such a wet and sloppy kisser they thought it was gross. It was just fascinating to my 13 year old mind.

1153
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:41,680
Wow I'm learning cool girls stuff. I first learned that girls talk about men the same way men talk about girls.

1154
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:50,680
This junior high level stuff. When I was on the back of the bus like you and I heard him talking about some guy having a tiny dick, some chick that they knew slept with him.

1155
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:57,680
And they said man he is teeny tiny and he's really fast. So he's hot but don't get near him. Waste of time.

1156
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:05,680
And they didn't know I was back there. I'm like well what the fuck. I'm sitting there listening for more than one of them saw me like one eee.

1157
01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:10,680
And she did some sort of a hand motion and they both shut up. My lock.

1158
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:16,680
I was going to learn some valuable information. Yeah don't kid me.

1159
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:23,680
Did you know that I knew this. Did you know that if you sneeze too hard you can fracture a rib. Oh I didn't know that.

1160
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:31,680
If you try to suppress the sneeze you can rupture a blood vessel in your head and neck or die. Yeah weird.

1161
01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:39,680
If you keep your eyes open by force they can pop out. I've heard that and I've also heard that that's never been demonstrated.

1162
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:47,680
I don't think it's been demonstrated either. I think it's virtually impossible to keep your eyes open while you sneeze.

1163
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:52,680
I think it is too. Yeah I think you would have to literally hold them open with a mechanical device.

1164
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:57,680
Yeah and maybe they will pop open. No one is going to ever dig.

1165
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:02,680
I don't know if their eyelids are strong enough to hold their eyeballs in if they really wanted to go somewhere.

1166
01:16:02,680 --> 01:16:07,680
I don't know if all of that is completely true but it's fun to talk about. It is.

1167
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:14,680
Did you know that wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

1168
01:16:14,680 --> 01:16:18,680
And I did read that. Oh wow. But it's earbuds not earphones. Oh okay good.

1169
01:16:18,680 --> 01:16:24,680
Like what we're wearing right now. This says earphones. But yeah nobody has these big ear buds.

1170
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,680
Yeah and we do not have ear buds.

1171
01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:33,680
Did you know that men can read smaller print than women and women can hear better. Oh yes I do know that.

1172
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:40,680
You motor bitch under your fucking breath just one time. They can hear that ten miles away.

1173
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:48,680
You get the snap head and the what. I said you look beautiful why. Why did you ask. It's not what I heard.

1174
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:51,680
Then why did you ask. Yeah.

1175
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:58,680
I did that once to my brother. I said something. My brother and my sister were talking about this girl that we all knew.

1176
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:04,680
And I made the comment that she's pretty homely. And their heads whipped around saying what. Why did you say.

1177
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:10,680
I said well she's pretty gossipy. No that's not what you said. I said then why did you ask what I said.

1178
01:17:10,680 --> 01:17:15,680
You said that she was homely. Then why did you ask what I said. Yeah no that's bullshit. That's setup.

1179
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:20,680
And I never budged from that. You asked me to repeat it which means you didn't hear me the first time.

1180
01:17:20,680 --> 01:17:25,680
So no you don't know what I said. And I never budged from that. That's a media trick too.

1181
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:31,680
It drove them crazy. I love that. Because they only said what because they wanted me to repeat it.

1182
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:37,680
But I took it as oh you didn't hear me.

1183
01:17:37,680 --> 01:17:42,680
Got pissed off for about a half hour. That was fun.

1184
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:48,680
Now this next one I don't know if this is true or not but it could be. If you think about it.

1185
01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:54,680
Babies are born without knee caps. They appear between the ages of two and six.

1186
01:17:54,680 --> 01:18:01,680
Wow. It does appear like that but I would imagine they have something in there that grows.

1187
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:07,680
Yeah there's probably like the bud of a knee cap. Yeah and they don't actually call it a knee cap.

1188
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:12,680
Yeah. Yeah it's something like that. It's not like it appears.

1189
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:19,680
The longest bout of hiccups lasted nearly 69 years. Oh that's a whole lifetime.

1190
01:18:19,680 --> 01:18:24,680
I love that. I love that. Wouldn't that suck? That would be miserable.

1191
01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:30,680
And then one day she just woke up and then she was gone. And then she was gone and she couldn't believe it.

1192
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:34,680
I think she died like a year after that. Yeah I think so.

1193
01:18:34,680 --> 01:18:37,680
Keeping her heart going by hiccuping. Yeah I think so.

1194
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:42,680
Finally it's like hey the heart's like looking around going she must be dead.

1195
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:47,680
I don't hear anything. Turn the lights out man.

1196
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:55,680
You know that there are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.

1197
01:18:55,680 --> 01:19:00,680
I've heard that. Oh yeah. I've also read that your intestines can stretch around the earth ten times.

1198
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:04,680
Which I don't believe. No. It's not like that one.

1199
01:19:04,680 --> 01:19:09,680
But this could be true but I don't know if it's true or not. These are just fun.

1200
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:18,680
Your pair of lungs has the same surface area inside that a tennis court does.

1201
01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:24,680
So that's the amount of oxygen absorbing surface area you have in your lungs.

1202
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:28,680
A tennis court's worth packed into your lungs. Wow.

1203
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:36,680
But when you smoke it breaks down those structures and smooths them out so their surface area shrinks.

1204
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:42,680
A person with advanced emphysema their tennis court has shrunk down to the size of a handkerchief.

1205
01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:45,680
Wow. From smoking. Yeah.

1206
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:52,680
Emphysema is no joke. That is a horrible death. I know some of them died from that. They couldn't even walk across the room.

1207
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:55,680
Bill Grigsby got it. Oh is that what happened to him?

1208
01:19:55,680 --> 01:20:01,680
Yeah he was a heavy smoker until we learned about emphysema and then he quit but it was kind of too late.

1209
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:11,680
Peter Jennings he used to smoke a lot. Well he's dead now but you know famous news anchor for ABC News many years.

1210
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:18,680
English guy. So he smoked for a long time and then he stopped.

1211
01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:23,680
And then what he said in his book before he passed away was he developed lung cancer.

1212
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:27,680
But it was advanced. There's nothing they could do by the time they found it.

1213
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:34,680
But anyhow he quit and then he started again. He said over 9-11 he was so nervous and twitchy.

1214
01:20:34,680 --> 01:20:40,680
And then when he started again it just kind of ignited the thing that was already in his body.

1215
01:20:40,680 --> 01:20:44,680
I mean this is like maybe seven, eight, nine years later.

1216
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:52,680
But they seem to think that when he started it back up it just kind of added to it and brought it to him quicker.

1217
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:57,680
He may have developed it later. Kind of kick started the dormant cancer.

1218
01:20:57,680 --> 01:21:07,680
You know that there's a company that will for $14,000 take your ashes and compress them into synthetic diamond

1219
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:12,680
and be sent in for jewelry for a loved one and I do know that. Oh wow. Really?

1220
01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:21,680
Yeah and because I mean most famously Lemmy from Motorhead when he passed away he had his ashes divided up.

1221
01:21:21,680 --> 01:21:29,680
Into like five different piles and put into bullets for his best friends to shoot him.

1222
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:35,680
Remember Ricky Rockman shot like four shots of Lemmy into something online.

1223
01:21:35,680 --> 01:21:41,680
And Keith Richards famously snorted the lines of his death.

1224
01:21:41,680 --> 01:21:48,680
You know it's interesting that there are laws about properly disposing of human remains.

1225
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:54,680
But I guess at a certain point then they no longer consider human remains. You can do whatever you want with them.

1226
01:21:54,680 --> 01:22:00,680
Well it's kind of argued if you're even getting ashes from them because there's so many other things in play when they do this.

1227
01:22:00,680 --> 01:22:07,680
You know they don't just throw you in there like your slab just won't. They put you in a box.

1228
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:15,680
So there's other ashes and also if you were to be just disintegrated like that your ashes wouldn't equal hardly anything.

1229
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:19,680
Yeah there'd be almost nothing there. They put a lot of filler material in.

1230
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:23,680
Yeah so who knows how many ashes you really get in there anyhow.

1231
01:22:23,680 --> 01:22:30,680
I guess that explains why the laws are so lax and why people are allowed to go fling ashes around wherever they want.

1232
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:34,680
Like Disneyland is one of the top places where people go fling ashes around.

1233
01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:38,680
So if you go to Disneyland you might get a face full of ant dirt.

1234
01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:42,680
Oh my god duck they just threw a fucking urn up there.

1235
01:22:42,680 --> 01:22:47,680
Yeah where people go to baseball games and lean over the railing and dump it among to the field.

1236
01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:48,680
I know.

1237
01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:50,680
You know that's a burned up human body.

1238
01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:53,680
I tell you doing the baseball game with a burned up human body.

1239
01:22:53,680 --> 01:23:01,680
Go dump fucking, go dump Aunt Helga somewhere else you fucking asshole. We don't want her here.

1240
01:23:01,680 --> 01:23:06,680
Did you know that and I did know this most of the dust particles in your house are dead skin.

1241
01:23:06,680 --> 01:23:08,680
Yeah that makes sense.

1242
01:23:08,680 --> 01:23:12,680
And then the rest are dust mites both of them suck.

1243
01:23:12,680 --> 01:23:18,680
Women blink twice as often as men. I don't know is that true?

1244
01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:23,680
I don't know that might have something to do with the fact that women are wearing eye makeup which could be an eye irritant.

1245
01:23:23,680 --> 01:23:25,680
Okay I can believe that.

1246
01:23:25,680 --> 01:23:31,680
Did you know that a sneeze travels out of your mouth at over a hundred miles per hour.

1247
01:23:31,680 --> 01:23:32,680
Yes.

1248
01:23:32,680 --> 01:23:33,680
Yep.

1249
01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:34,680
Cough is about sixty.

1250
01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:39,680
Yeah a sneeze is over a hundred and no wonder whenever someone sneezes everybody in the room gets it.

1251
01:23:39,680 --> 01:23:40,680
Yep.

1252
01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:47,680
Did you know that and this is an easy one everybody I'm pretty sure knows this.

1253
01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:51,680
It takes approximately twelve hours for food to entirely digest.

1254
01:23:51,680 --> 01:23:53,680
That makes sense.

1255
01:23:53,680 --> 01:23:54,680
Yeah.

1256
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:59,680
Did you know that your heart beats over a hundred thousand times a day.

1257
01:23:59,680 --> 01:24:01,680
Oh wow.

1258
01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:08,680
Yeah if you take like seventy beats a minute times sixty minutes times twenty four hours.

1259
01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:10,680
Yeah I guess so.

1260
01:24:10,680 --> 01:24:14,680
And this one I knew too like fingerprints everyone's tongue print is different.

1261
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:16,680
Oh yeah.

1262
01:24:16,680 --> 01:24:20,680
And did you know it's physically impossible to lick your elbow.

1263
01:24:20,680 --> 01:24:22,680
Unless you cut your arm off.

1264
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:24,680
Yeah well yeah then you can't.

1265
01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:33,680
Yeah my parents used to tell me that you know if I was bored and couldn't wait for something they'd say well pass the time by putting your elbow in your ear.

1266
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:36,680
You can't do that either.

1267
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:41,680
I said I can put someone else's elbow in my ear but I can't put my own.

1268
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,680
Yeah good point.

1269
01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:45,680
Here's one.

1270
01:24:45,680 --> 01:24:51,680
Now I don't know if it's true or not but it actually makes a really good.

1271
01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:53,680
It could be.

1272
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:55,680
Makes really good thought.

1273
01:24:55,680 --> 01:25:01,680
There are three hundred thirty six dimples in a regulation golf ball.

1274
01:25:01,680 --> 01:25:02,680
Wow that's a lot.

1275
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:06,680
Well think about it there's dimples inside of dimples actually on those.

1276
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:07,680
Well that's yeah.

1277
01:25:07,680 --> 01:25:09,680
There's bigger ones and smaller ones and ones in between.

1278
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,680
Yeah.

1279
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,680
Those all have been wind tunnel tested and it makes your ball actually go farther.

1280
01:25:13,680 --> 01:25:14,680
Yeah.

1281
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:15,680
It really does.

1282
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:16,680
Yeah.

1283
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:17,680
And fly straighter or.

1284
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:23,680
That's why a lot of people insist on certain balls and also on drivers and putters and all that.

1285
01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:24,680
Yeah.

1286
01:25:24,680 --> 01:25:32,680
Because the aerodynamic of a golf ball has been you know formulated for years and years and years.

1287
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:42,680
If you look at a golf ball today and one of either ten years ago the patterns are completely different because they found better ways to make them and make them sail further and longer.

1288
01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:45,680
Yeah.

1289
01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:51,680
Do you know a Costa Rican worker who makes baseballs earns about two thousand seven hundred fifty dollars annually.

1290
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:58,680
The average American pro baseball players earns two million three hundred seventy seven thousand per year.

1291
01:25:58,680 --> 01:25:59,680
Wow.

1292
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:09,680
So that's like a one thousand or yeah a thousand times more basically between the person who makes the baseball and the person who hits the baseball.

1293
01:26:09,680 --> 01:26:10,680
Isn't that something else.

1294
01:26:10,680 --> 01:26:13,680
The difference of a thousand times the earning power.

1295
01:26:13,680 --> 01:26:14,680
Wow.

1296
01:26:14,680 --> 01:26:18,680
Amazing.

1297
01:26:18,680 --> 01:26:28,680
Did you know that in the 18th century England gambling dens employed someone whose job was to swallow the dice if there was a police.

1298
01:26:28,680 --> 01:26:30,680
How do you like to be that guy.

1299
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:35,680
You're like all right OK you're going to be over there on the left side over there the table.

1300
01:26:35,680 --> 01:26:39,680
OK you're going to be running the drinks.

1301
01:26:39,680 --> 01:26:40,680
Mark.

1302
01:26:40,680 --> 01:26:42,680
You're going to swallow the dice.

1303
01:26:42,680 --> 01:26:44,680
That guy's been spitting on him all night for good luck.

1304
01:26:44,680 --> 01:26:46,680
That's bullshit.

1305
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:48,680
Look he's rubbing them on his balls for luck.

1306
01:26:48,680 --> 01:26:54,680
I don't want to swallow the dice you son of a bitch.

1307
01:26:54,680 --> 01:27:01,680
Every year fifty six million people attend Major League Baseball games.

1308
01:27:01,680 --> 01:27:03,680
Fifty six million.

1309
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:04,680
I believe that.

1310
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:09,680
I wonder if that's fifty six million different people or some of those are repeat customers.

1311
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:10,680
I think they're repeat.

1312
01:27:10,680 --> 01:27:13,680
So a total attendance would be fifty six million.

1313
01:27:13,680 --> 01:27:15,680
I could not do fifty six million.

1314
01:27:15,680 --> 01:27:18,680
So it might be the same thirteen million over and over and over.

1315
01:27:18,680 --> 01:27:27,680
Yeah because a lot of people you know that have Yankee season tickets you know red socks.

1316
01:27:27,680 --> 01:27:32,680
On the East Coast they really you know they enjoy baseball a lot more than we do anymore.

1317
01:27:32,680 --> 01:27:36,680
I mean we used to enjoy baseball a lot but not so much.

1318
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:43,680
Isn't it funny if you buy season tickets to the football by God you're going to every game.

1319
01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:48,680
If you buy season tickets to basketball then you can on making maybe half of them.

1320
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:51,680
The other half you're like eh you don't care.

1321
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:53,680
Yeah that's right.

1322
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:55,680
You give the tickets away.

1323
01:27:55,680 --> 01:27:57,680
Yeah you're like yeah I can't go.

1324
01:27:57,680 --> 01:28:01,680
You even throw in free parking every now and then to get someone to take the summer benches.

1325
01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:03,680
I haven't got some free parking.

1326
01:28:03,680 --> 01:28:04,680
Free parking too?

1327
01:28:04,680 --> 01:28:05,680
Okay I'll go.

1328
01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:08,680
Because most people you give them a ticket and they're like well how much is parking.

1329
01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:09,680
Oh it's thirty five bucks.

1330
01:28:09,680 --> 01:28:10,680
No thank you.

1331
01:28:10,680 --> 01:28:11,680
Yeah.

1332
01:28:11,680 --> 01:28:16,680
Do you know that Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep his head cool.

1333
01:28:16,680 --> 01:28:18,680
He changed it every two weddings.

1334
01:28:18,680 --> 01:28:19,680
A cabbage leaf?

1335
01:28:19,680 --> 01:28:21,680
Bizarre.

1336
01:28:21,680 --> 01:28:25,680
I don't know how he got that one.

1337
01:28:25,680 --> 01:28:27,680
This is weird.

1338
01:28:27,680 --> 01:28:28,680
I did know this to be true.

1339
01:28:28,680 --> 01:28:34,680
In 1920 Babe Ruth out home with every American League team.

1340
01:28:34,680 --> 01:28:35,680
Wow.

1341
01:28:35,680 --> 01:28:37,680
That's pretty good.

1342
01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:39,680
That's amazing.

1343
01:28:39,680 --> 01:28:41,680
And I also knew this.

1344
01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:52,680
All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on a job in case their pants split.

1345
01:28:52,680 --> 01:28:53,680
And that is true.

1346
01:28:53,680 --> 01:28:54,680
You can look that up right now.

1347
01:28:54,680 --> 01:28:56,680
It's true.

1348
01:28:56,680 --> 01:28:59,680
Imagine having a rule for that.

1349
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:02,680
You know it had to happen a bunch of times before they made the rule.

1350
01:29:02,680 --> 01:29:04,680
Oh look at that guy.

1351
01:29:04,680 --> 01:29:07,680
He's wearing doily underwear.

1352
01:29:07,680 --> 01:29:11,680
Look at the skid mark.

1353
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:13,680
Oh look.

1354
01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:14,680
He's older.

1355
01:29:14,680 --> 01:29:15,680
Look at his ball sack.

1356
01:29:15,680 --> 01:29:20,680
Well he looks younger but by his ball sack I'd say he's ten years older.

1357
01:29:20,680 --> 01:29:22,680
You can tell by the droop.

1358
01:29:22,680 --> 01:29:23,680
Yeah look at him.

1359
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:24,680
He's almost to his knees.

1360
01:29:24,680 --> 01:29:26,680
He's got to be at least sixty three.

1361
01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:36,680
Did you know that dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

1362
01:29:36,680 --> 01:29:39,680
Makes perfect sense.

1363
01:29:39,680 --> 01:29:41,680
That'd be awesome.

1364
01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:46,680
With all the people getting offended by everything in this country we should bring dueling back.

1365
01:29:46,680 --> 01:29:47,680
We should.

1366
01:29:47,680 --> 01:29:49,680
You know that Bud Light can't offend you.

1367
01:29:49,680 --> 01:29:51,680
Go out and try to summon a duel over it.

1368
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:53,680
Maybe you'll die.

1369
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:56,680
Yep.

1370
01:29:56,680 --> 01:29:58,680
That'd be awesome.

1371
01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:00,680
I'd do it just to scare out stupid people.

1372
01:30:00,680 --> 01:30:01,680
Oh god.

1373
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:02,680
Well you know what.

1374
01:30:02,680 --> 01:30:05,680
We probably could.

1375
01:30:05,680 --> 01:30:08,680
We could probably get rid of all stupid people and still be around.

1376
01:30:08,680 --> 01:30:10,680
There wouldn't be very many people left.

1377
01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:13,680
Yeah but who'd be fucking making our food.

1378
01:30:13,680 --> 01:30:15,680
I don't know.

1379
01:30:15,680 --> 01:30:20,680
There'd only be a couple hundred of us left on the planet.

1380
01:30:20,680 --> 01:30:23,680
Yeah.

1381
01:30:23,680 --> 01:30:27,680
The problem is we all may be included in the stupid people we go.

1382
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:30,680
I know there's a lot of people smarter than me.

1383
01:30:30,680 --> 01:30:31,680
Yeah.

1384
01:30:31,680 --> 01:30:33,680
I'd be like man I can't wait until all these people clear it.

1385
01:30:33,680 --> 01:30:38,680
Gink.

1386
01:30:38,680 --> 01:30:42,680
The average life span of a major league baseball.

1387
01:30:42,680 --> 01:30:44,680
Can you guess?

1388
01:30:44,680 --> 01:30:45,680
Oh I've heard this.

1389
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:46,680
It's short.

1390
01:30:46,680 --> 01:30:47,680
It is.

1391
01:30:47,680 --> 01:30:49,680
Ten minutes.

1392
01:30:49,680 --> 01:30:50,680
It's not minutes.

1393
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:52,680
It's measured in pitches.

1394
01:30:52,680 --> 01:30:54,680
Is it like 20?

1395
01:30:54,680 --> 01:30:55,680
It's seven.

1396
01:30:55,680 --> 01:30:56,680
Seven.

1397
01:30:56,680 --> 01:30:57,680
Yeah that's.

1398
01:30:57,680 --> 01:30:59,680
And you watch a game and you start counting them.

1399
01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:01,680
One's ten, one's five.

1400
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:02,680
It depends.

1401
01:31:02,680 --> 01:31:05,680
You know sometimes one of them gets hit right off the bat and scuffed up.

1402
01:31:05,680 --> 01:31:06,680
It gets thrown back.

1403
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:10,680
Every now and then you get one that'll go about eight or nine pitches but not very often.

1404
01:31:10,680 --> 01:31:11,680
Yeah it makes sense.

1405
01:31:11,680 --> 01:31:17,680
The ones that there's any kind of scuff or defect on it that's something the pitcher can use to control the ball.

1406
01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:22,680
Yeah and that's how you always see hitters all the time to inspect the baseball.

1407
01:31:22,680 --> 01:31:26,680
And a lot of times, most times the umpire throws it away.

1408
01:31:26,680 --> 01:31:27,680
Yeah.

1409
01:31:27,680 --> 01:31:29,680
He throws it to the ball boy and gives them another one.

1410
01:31:29,680 --> 01:31:32,680
But that's okay because then they sell those as game used baseballs.

1411
01:31:32,680 --> 01:31:33,680
That's right.

1412
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:34,680
And make a killing.

1413
01:31:34,680 --> 01:31:35,680
Yeah.

1414
01:31:35,680 --> 01:31:36,680
You know they do make a killing.

1415
01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:37,680
Oh yeah.

1416
01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:39,680
And it doesn't go to any charity either.

1417
01:31:39,680 --> 01:31:40,680
You ever see that?

1418
01:31:40,680 --> 01:31:43,680
It doesn't say it's going to MS or something.

1419
01:31:43,680 --> 01:31:44,680
No.

1420
01:31:44,680 --> 01:31:51,680
It's like the NFL teams that wear pink all during October according to breast cancer awareness.

1421
01:31:51,680 --> 01:31:54,680
And then they say oh they sell the items later.

1422
01:31:54,680 --> 01:31:59,680
Well breast cancer gets maybe five to ten percent.

1423
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:01,680
Yeah and the ones that they do they get virtually nothing.

1424
01:32:01,680 --> 01:32:03,680
The NFL just pockets tons of money.

1425
01:32:03,680 --> 01:32:04,680
Yeah.

1426
01:32:04,680 --> 01:32:13,680
And so I noticed last year a lot of those breast cancer organizations refused to as part associate with the NFL anymore because they get nothing out of it.

1427
01:32:13,680 --> 01:32:14,680
Yeah.

1428
01:32:14,680 --> 01:32:16,680
It's like you're using us to make yourself millions.

1429
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:17,680
Why would we bother?

1430
01:32:17,680 --> 01:32:23,680
They don't mind the contribution but what they mind is them using them to make a fucking torrential profit.

1431
01:32:23,680 --> 01:32:24,680
Yes.

1432
01:32:24,680 --> 01:32:25,680
Okay.

1433
01:32:25,680 --> 01:32:30,680
Did you know retired basketball and this one's an easy one.

1434
01:32:30,680 --> 01:32:32,680
Anyone with any type of brain at all would know this.

1435
01:32:32,680 --> 01:32:42,680
Retired basketball sensation Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

1436
01:32:42,680 --> 01:32:44,680
Wow.

1437
01:32:44,680 --> 01:32:46,680
He out-earns their entire workforce.

1438
01:32:46,680 --> 01:32:49,680
And that one's an easy one to predict too.

1439
01:32:49,680 --> 01:32:51,680
It's sad.

1440
01:32:51,680 --> 01:32:53,680
Yeah it is very sad.

1441
01:32:53,680 --> 01:33:07,680
You know I think the saddest part about that is not that those people have so little money but the fact that so much money is going to one person who doesn't need it.

1442
01:33:07,680 --> 01:33:08,680
That's right.

1443
01:33:08,680 --> 01:33:14,680
It's just why would you pour hundreds of gallons of clean water into a lake instead of drinking it yourself.

1444
01:33:14,680 --> 01:33:16,680
The lake doesn't need it.

1445
01:33:16,680 --> 01:33:17,680
Yeah that's right.

1446
01:33:17,680 --> 01:33:20,680
Gosh.

1447
01:33:20,680 --> 01:33:28,680
For the makers of Guess Who Bit My Asshole Board Game and Guess Who's Gentle to Turn My Face, it's two douchebags and microphones.

1448
01:33:28,680 --> 01:33:30,680
Action figure.

1449
01:33:30,680 --> 01:33:31,680
That's right.

1450
01:33:31,680 --> 01:33:38,680
Each action figure comes with a scratch-and-stimp pelvic area, a free bag of Cheetos, and three free mullets.

1451
01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:39,680
That's right.

1452
01:33:39,680 --> 01:33:41,680
Three free mullets.

1453
01:33:41,680 --> 01:33:43,680
You can put these on each douchebag and have fun.

1454
01:33:43,680 --> 01:33:46,680
New from Gizbro.

1455
01:33:46,680 --> 01:33:49,680
Act now and get a free at-home taint piercing.

1456
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:50,680
That's right.

1457
01:33:50,680 --> 01:34:05,680
Free at-home taint piercing.

1458
01:34:05,680 --> 01:34:07,680
Hey, where'd everybody go?

1459
01:34:07,680 --> 01:34:09,680
Where are the douchebags?

1460
01:34:09,680 --> 01:34:12,680
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner.

1461
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:14,680
Oh jeez.

1462
01:34:14,680 --> 01:34:16,680
Glad they're gone.

1463
01:34:16,680 --> 01:34:18,680
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1464
01:34:18,680 --> 01:34:20,680
Man, that smells.