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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri,

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from the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River,

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it is Two Douchebags and Microphone Podcast.

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Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct washrags,

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two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3, 2, 1.

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Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

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Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

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It's strange insults from an alien.

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Real hilarity.

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You remind me of a penny.

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Two-faced and not worth much.

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This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags and a Microphone.

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People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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One, smell.

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Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats,

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Tabasco sauce and old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

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Two, look for the spot absent of patrons.

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Three, the most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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Four, just call us at 816-512-7717.

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Welcome back, Two Douchebags.

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And a microphone.

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I'm Topher.

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I'm Mark.

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Welcome back.

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This might be the second one of these.

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Who knows? I don't know how long we went, but we had two guests right off the bat.

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We had two pairs of guests.

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So awesome.

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Yeah, it was really great.

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And both flavors, male and female, it was great.

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You know, if they had arrived at the same time, they would have both made cute couples.

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Yeah, that's right. They would.

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Yeah. Yep.

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Anyway.

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Oh, anyhow.

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So I'm going to go ahead and give Rob Rad a call here because he wants to join us.

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I don't know why you'd want to join us, but he does.

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Especially after last time.

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Yeah.

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And all the fun I made of him afterwards when he couldn't defend himself.

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But that's what I do.

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Yes.

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So let me switch the mic pattern.

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There we go.

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Rob.

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Hey.

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What's up, buddy?

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It's a little chilly, but it's all right.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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All right.

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We're trying to get you better because we both forgot our Bluetooth.

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So.

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I think we hear you pretty good.

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I think so.

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All right.

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All right.

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So I have some would you rathers.

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All right.

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Okay.

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Number one, straight off the bat, would you rather get caught jerking off by a family member or get a tramp stamp of a pink heart?

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Oh, give me the tramp stamp.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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Both of those last forever, you know.

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Yeah.

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I'd rather get caught jerking off.

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If you get a tramp stamp, I can cover up.

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Well, that's a point.

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You could cover the tramp stamp or have it removed, but your family member is going to remember for the rest of their life.

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Yes.

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You know what?

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I would make myself like the victim.

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I cannot believe you came in here unannounced, tramping in here without knocking.

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And you know what?

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A man has needs.

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And you know, if you're so concerned about it, you need to buy me a fucking hooker so I won't do it.

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Or a flesh light.

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Or a flesh light.

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Oh my God.

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So by the time I get done, they're going to be crying.

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They're going to be, I'm sorry, Mark.

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I didn't mean to do that to you.

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And you don't speak a word of this because it's embarrassing.

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You're right. I'm sorry.

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So I'll take the jerking off.

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I'll take the tramp stamp.

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As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even quit.

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I just keep going.

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You'd be sitting there with that banana peel in your hand going at it.

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I'd be like, what's the problem?

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You like watching me?

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That's gross.

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You're sick.

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You're a fucking sicko.

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That would be a good way to turn a record.

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Yeah.

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You're a sicko.

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I can't believe you're watching me now.

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Leave me alone so I can get this done.

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You're interrupting my flow.

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Which one of us is here watching then?

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What's the matter?

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Was Erotic City closed?

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Yeah.

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They had to clean this son of a bitch sometime.

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They had the power washers and the paint peelers and the gasoline and the paint remover.

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They had something called Kill Cum or something like that.

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They had a huge truckload of Kill Cum.

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Yeah.

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That's one toxic waste site.

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Let me tell you.

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Yeah.

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Okay, so Rob, you're a tramp stamp.

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What are you?

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I go tramp stamp.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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I'm going to keep going and just look them right in the eyes.

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Double down.

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Yeah.

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Look them right in the eyes and go, man, this is fun.

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Hey, you want to sit down next to me?

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You want to talk to me?

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Just tell them don't say anything or I'll stick my finger up my butt.

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Normally that comes later, but if you're here, I'll do it right now.

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Direct prostate stimulation.

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Yes.

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Woo-woo.

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Oh my gosh.

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Okay, number two.

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Would you rather eat kale every day or get punched in the face daily?

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Punched in the face.

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Yeah, I'm going to have to say punched in the face.

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Yeah, I'm going to be hurting, but no kale for this guy.

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No.

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It's with the kale life just isn't worth living anyway.

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No, I would feel so defeated and weak and prone to trickery and trends and fads.

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Yeah.

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So if you're a kale eater, you're kind of worse than a bottom feeder.

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You're kind of a garbage eater.

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Yeah, you're a garbage eater.

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Yeah, because that's what kale is, is garbage.

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Pretty much, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Easy choice there.

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Yeah, there it is.

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Number three.

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Would you rather not shower for a month or dye your hair fuchsia?

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Wow.

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I didn't dye my hair fuchsia, again, just to be a dick.

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You know, I thought I was considering that, but I think I'll skip the shower for a month

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rather than dye my hair fuchsia.

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It's probably good for your skin, actually, all the natural oils.

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It probably is, you know.

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Yeah.

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You didn't see all the cavemen running around with, you know, Rogaine or...

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Exima, all right.

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Yeah, I think I'd have to skip the shower.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Plus, it's really easy to do.

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You just don't shower.

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Well, I'm not doing it because I'm opposed to not taking a shower for a month.

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Sounds kind of fun to me.

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But, you know, the reason I'm doing it is just to piss people off.

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You're old.

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You're not supposed to do that.

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Fuck you.

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I'm going to do it more.

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You're not supposed to do that, really.

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Yeah, the way I go is my girlfriend also.

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Well, yeah.

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Well, I mean, that's just the way it is.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yep.

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Number four, would you rather lick...the last one was three.

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I think I called it four.

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This is four.

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Would you rather lick a sleazy used hotel pillow or eat a live cockroach?

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Give me the cockroach.

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Give me the cockroach.

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Yeah.

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It'll be crunchy.

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It'll be over soon.

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Oh, God.

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There's too many diseases out there.

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Oh, yeah, yeah.

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And we're talking about eating cockroaches and we're talking about diseases.

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We think there's less disease in a cockroach than there is on a hotel pillow.

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That's pretty bad.

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Well, there are parts of the world where cockroaches are part of the daily menu.

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That's true.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You know what?

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We should be allowed to roast it, right?

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I would think so.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Cockroach cracklings.

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Yeah.

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You know, I put some seasoned salt on it and some butter.

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So when you eat it, at least it'll have a decent taste.

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Or it should.

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Lemon pepper.

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Lemon pepper.

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Yeah, good idea.

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There was a guy I went to school with that worked for the State Department his whole

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career.

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That's the only thing he would say.

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I worked for the State Department.

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Well, he was a spy, basically.

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He would never say it, but he was a spy.

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But he said that in some of the consulates where he would be posted, especially in Africa,

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there were a lot of insects on the menu.

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And he remembers eating pickled grasshoppers at a state dinner.

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Did he like it?

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Not so much.

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But he said, you know, you're there representing the U.S. You can't refuse.

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You've got to eat.

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So he ate all sorts of insect life just as part of his job.

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Oh my, yeah.

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Yeah, that would suck.

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Yeah.

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It's still better than a hotel room pillow.

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Okay, this next one I really love.

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Would you rather play checkers where the preserved amputated penises or rolling garbage for an

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hour?

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Oh, wow.

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I'm going to go with preserved amputated penises.

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Yeah, I think I'm playing checkers.

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I don't know that rolling in garbage.

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No, no, no.

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No, I can wash my hands about 100 times.

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And also be kind of fun.

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I try to grab the biggest ones first.

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That way I look intimidating.

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And once again, I jump yours.

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King me.

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King me.

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And if you run out of pieces, you just pop your own on the table.

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Look, I have an extra.

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Which one are you?

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Are you officially rolling in garbage or what?

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No, I'm not.

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Okay, all right.

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All right, it's unanimous.

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We're all playing checkers with amputated preserved penises.

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Why not?

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Yeah.

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Because they're available everywhere.

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You know, that would make a hell of a story later on.

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Your grandkids.

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You know, I once played checkers with preserved amputated penises.

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Did you win?

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I don't think anyone really won.

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There's no winning in that situation.

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You see, there's this dare thing going on.

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Well, that's how you got the little green card tramp stamp and the fuchsia hair too.

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Shut up.

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Get out of here.

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Get out of here, you little fuck.

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Go back home.

269
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,000
Six.

270
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:11,000
Would you rather wear Daisy Duke jorts in public or her tie up tank top in public?

271
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,000
Ooh.

272
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000
Jorts.

273
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Jorts?

274
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
No, I'm not into that thing.

275
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
Yeah, I'd probably do the tie up tank top.

276
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000
Yeah.

277
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000
Yeah.

278
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,000
And besides that, it would be so disgusting looking and people would just be like.

279
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
All that chest hair hanging out.

280
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

281
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000
The fat rolling out.

282
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
Oh, yes.

283
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,000
That's the look I'm going for.

284
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,000
I imagine Peter Griffin when he wore those tank tops with Homer Simpson, remember?

285
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000
Oh, God.

286
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,000
If you ever saw that episode, you can't unsee it and it's a cartoon.

287
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Yeah.

288
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:51,000
It's horrifying enough to see a cartoon.

289
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000
Number seven.

290
00:11:52,000 --> 00:12:00,000
Oh, which one are you, Rob?

291
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
I really don't know.

292
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Oh, come on.

293
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,000
Just pick one.

294
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000
I'm going to lot one to you.

295
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:11,000
You're going to be Daisy Duke tie on like me and Topher.

296
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000
The shorts.

297
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000
The jorts?

298
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000
You're taking the jorts?

299
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000
The shorty shorts.

300
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000
We want pictures.

301
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000
I don't.

302
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000
I don't.

303
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000
Post them to two-deucebags-and-microphone.net.

304
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000
Rob Radd's ass.

305
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000
And make sure you turn around and smile at one of them so they know it's you.

306
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Have ass up, turn around, smile at him with the thumbs up.

307
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000
Oh, this is quality entertainment right here.

308
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000
How come everything just plummeted on our meter?

309
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000
Look at all these people.

310
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
This is the best thing we've ever seen.

311
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000
Yeah.

312
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000
And we're going to put this on the camera.

313
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000
You're going to be like, oh, my God, I'm going to be in a movie.

314
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

315
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

316
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

317
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

318
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:58,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

319
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:21,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

320
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:39,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

321
00:13:39,000 --> 00:14:05,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

322
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:26,000
I'm going to be in a movie.

323
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
That one is a very tough one.

324
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Damn.

325
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000
I love kids.

326
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000
I love kids no matter what.

327
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Okay.

328
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,000
I'm going to take Screaming Kids too.

329
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Have you ever heard Yoko Ono?

330
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Yes I have.

331
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Yeah.

332
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Okay.

333
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
Yeah I think I'm going to take the Screaming Kids.

334
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Screaming Kids sound more appealing than Yoko Ono.

335
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Yeah.

336
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,000
Joe and London must have been head over heels.

337
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000
That's all I got to say.

338
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Sex must have been great.

339
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
That must have been crazy.

340
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Yeah.

341
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,000
She must have did that thing he likes.

342
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000
With the ice cube and the handkerchief?

343
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah that thing.

344
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000
How many knots John?

345
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000
Seven I guess.

346
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Price seven.

347
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
No eight.

348
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
I've had a tough day.

349
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000
Eight knots.

350
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Okay.

351
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:15,000
Let's see.

352
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Next.

353
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Would you rather sleep next to a pile of vomit all night or a pile of kale?

354
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000
Ooh.

355
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000
Aren't they pretty close?

356
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
They are pretty close, yeah.

357
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000
I'm going to go with vomit.

358
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,000
Yeah I think the vomit probably smells better.

359
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Yeah.

360
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000
That would be vomit.

361
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000
Yeah.

362
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Vomit is a little bit more appealing than kale.

363
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
I would say so, yeah.

364
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000
Yeah.

365
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,000
Okay that's unanimous.

366
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,000
This next one's fucked.

367
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Well they're all fucked but anyhow.

368
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Would you rather bite a randomly elderly person on the face or scream at people to stop eating

369
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:57,000
hamsters raw for three hours at Crown Center?

370
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
Was this like a hallucination you had?

371
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Pretty much.

372
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,000
It was late at night and I don't know.

373
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,000
I don't want to say maybe I got a contact muzzle.

374
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000
I don't know.

375
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,000
I don't know what might have happened.

376
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,000
These questions concerned me after I wrote them out.

377
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,000
Yeah.

378
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,000
Where did this come from and why did they come about?

379
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:22,000
So one choice is screaming at people not to eat raw hamsters.

380
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Yeah at Crown Center.

381
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000
And the other choice is?

382
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000
What the fuck was it now?

383
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,000
Because the hamster just kind of blew me away.

384
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
I was like.

385
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,000
I ate a person on the face.

386
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,000
Oh bite a randomly elderly person on the face.

387
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
Oh gosh.

388
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Now that might be kind of fun.

389
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000
I could do Crown Center.

390
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Yeah well I could probably do that.

391
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000
I'm going to bite an elderly person.

392
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000
We should do it faster mom.

393
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
Yeah yeah.

394
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000
You know what?

395
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,000
I've already done it so I want to move on to biting an elderly person on the face.

396
00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,000
Well I'm getting kind of elderly myself so you know that might be a way to meet somebody.

397
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
That's true.

398
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000
You know bite them on the face.

399
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
Yeah you never know.

400
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000
They might be like you know what?

401
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
That was really cool.

402
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Give me your number.

403
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000
I mean I've become good friends.

404
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000
Yeah yeah.

405
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:13,000
Then every time you know how'd you guys meet?

406
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,000
I bit him on the face.

407
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Right there see the scar.

408
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
We've been best friends ever since.

409
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
That's not a dimple?

410
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
No that was his fang tooth.

411
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
He held on for a while man.

412
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
He wasn't letting go.

413
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,000
It was crazy.

414
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000
So alright.

415
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Oh I have a couple more alternative insults here that we need to wrap up because we got

416
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
so busy talking.

417
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Another one is calling someone a banana peel.

418
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Yeah yeah.

419
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000
People who don't know how to take that.

420
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,000
They're just kind of like you're slippery.

421
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,000
You could like make someone fall and break their neck.

422
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:59,000
Yeah or you know also modify it as the banana peel after you used it to jerk off with.

423
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,000
Well yeah oh yeah well I didn't say that because that's just what you do.

424
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Yeah we already know that's what's going on.

425
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Toenail.

426
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Toenail is a good one yeah.

427
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:17,000
So if I'm mad at you Robbie I go Robbie you're a toenail.

428
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000
What do you do?

429
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Yeah that's true.

430
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Call it a discolored toenail.

431
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Discolored toenail oh with the fungus yeah.

432
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Or a watery ice cube.

433
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Or a watery deviled egg.

434
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Aren't those gross?

435
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:41,000
A chewed up devil egg that someone spit out on a hot sidewalk.

436
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:46,000
That right there.

437
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,000
So yeah alright.

438
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:55,000
Hey have you heard about SpaceX you know Elon Musk's attempt of getting everybody into space

439
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000
and then eventually to Mars.

440
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Space tourism.

441
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Space tourism yeah.

442
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Well do you know that the SpaceX exploded the other day.

443
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Yes it did.

444
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000
I didn't hear that.

445
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,000
Now did anyone know that it was a planned explosion?

446
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
I didn't.

447
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
It's true.

448
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
The media did not report it.

449
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
They just said that it exploded.

450
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Yeah because it catches more attention that way.

451
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Yes.

452
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000
Yeah I see it was under investigation.

453
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000
Yeah no okay here's what it is.

454
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:31,000
The media just had out a blanket statement saying that the SpaceX rocket by Elon Musk had exploded.

455
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,000
I knew that it might before takeoff because I did my research.

456
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Musk had a system that if the rocket started to cream off course that the rocket was to self-destruct.

457
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000
That's pretty standard.

458
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Why did the media report this?

459
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Because they don't like Musk right now.

460
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Yeah.

461
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Yeah.

462
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:57,000
It was probably because he's an outlaw or it could be lazy reporting him.

463
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000
Yeah.

464
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
It all blew up okay we'll report that.

465
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,000
And it's really kind of a blurb too even on live TV.

466
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:09,000
They just say the SpaceX rocket exploded today and like you said under investigation.

467
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:19,000
Well I already knew that it was going to explode because he said if it starts going off course we're going to self-destruct it.

468
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:24,000
Because they don't want it you know hitting somebody, launching into a neighborhood or something.

469
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Yeah or hitting another satellite or whatever.

470
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:31,000
So it must have started a veering off course to where you know this was just a test.

471
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
They didn't expect nobody was on it.

472
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:42,000
They didn't expect it to do anything except exploratory of the bottom line of being able to make space tourism a reality.

473
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000
Yeah.

474
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Right.

475
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:51,000
I've seen another example of this type of journalism where they introduce a misleading headline or even a misleading story.

476
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Oh all the time.

477
00:20:52,000 --> 00:21:05,000
There's a story out now where it says Eminem admits that the interview where he comes out as gay he had to do several tries.

478
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,000
Now from the headline you think what Eminem came out as gay.

479
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Yeah that's right.

480
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:19,000
But it turns out he was making a movie and the character he was playing was giving an interview and coming out during that scene.

481
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Yes.

482
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,000
And he had trouble with that scene so he had to do several takes.

483
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:31,000
But what the headline made it sound like was that he broke down several times while coming out as gay in a public interview or something.

484
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Which is totally bullshit.

485
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:50,000
And because I subscribe to a lot of NFL outlets they have this thing there where on my phone the first thing it says is Andy Reid reveals the shocking truth and shit like that.

486
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Yeah.

487
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
And actually it's just like nothing.

488
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
It's like something that everyone knew.

489
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
That he loves cheeseburgers.

490
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000
The term for that is clickbait.

491
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000
Clickbait yes.

492
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:03,000
So you click on it you get exposed to the ad they get paid.

493
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000
That's all they care about.

494
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Yeah that's all they give a shit about.

495
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000
They put in any headline they want.

496
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Yep.

497
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:19,000
Okay so moving right along we're going to do things to whisper in a stranger's ear again.

498
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
I've tried some of these they actually work pretty well.

499
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:26,000
Yeah after I recovered from the baseball bat wings I started doing them again.

500
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
It was great.

501
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Anyhow these are things to whisper in a stranger's ear randomly for no reason.

502
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,000
Yep.

503
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Just because we're dicks.

504
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:48,000
So my number one but it's not the number one one that I like it's the number one that I thought of was apology accepted.

505
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,000
That's a good one.

506
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Yeah.

507
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,000
I like that.

508
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Yeah.

509
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Make it thick.

510
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
Yeah.

511
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Who would have sent that guy out of nowhere to say apology accepted.

512
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Who didn't know apology before.

513
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,000
Wouldn't that be someone who went home and said I'm so glad you're okay with that affair.

514
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000
Thank you.

515
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,000
What?

516
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:16,000
Or something else or I'm so glad that you know that I took your piggy bank.

517
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Here's a good one.

518
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,000
You can run up you can walk up to a stranger hand them a small box and say I don't want it anymore.

519
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:27,000
You deal with the police and then leave.

520
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:37,000
It reminds me right here at the city market a few years back and I posted on social media wherever there's a big dark dog turn out in the park area out here.

521
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Someone put up a little sign that said I don't love my town of Kansas City.

522
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,000
Hey put it on every dog turn.

523
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,000
I should do that when I when I walk and I walk my dog in the neighborhood.

524
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Every time I find dog poop I'll just put a little sign that says I don't like my neighborhood.

525
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,000
Yes.

526
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:02,000
Yeah I mean there's like seven of them because there's like seven very obvious dog turns out there in that park.

527
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,000
And you know of course there's places everywhere you can get the bag to pick it up.

528
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000
Yeah.

529
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:15,000
And they said I don't love my town of Kansas City.

530
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Then the next one.

531
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:24,000
No the other left.

532
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,000
That would be confusing as hell.

533
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Yeah I'd be like wait a minute I was walking left.

534
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,000
What the fuck does he mean?

535
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:34,000
What other left?

536
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,000
That would make people go eww.

537
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:44,000
You'd be like Victor turn their head halfway and then they'd probably realize that you're a douche bag and go get out of my way.

538
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:50,000
Or call it their rape whistle or they call the cops.

539
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Security security.

540
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Next one on the list.

541
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:06,000
If you scratch it it will never heal.

542
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Some of them just got done picking at their Johnson because it's like uneven or something or maybe a little bit poking out or some shit.

543
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000
They're like just fucking moving around.

544
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Oh there there there there now it's tucked in there.

545
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
It wedged in there right.

546
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,000
If you scratch it it will never heal.

547
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:31,000
I'd smile look him right in the face and go that's what Mercurocombe is for.

548
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:37,000
It stings but it sure takes care of the infection.

549
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:41,000
Look it up Mercurochrome.

550
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,000
Mercurochrome about like it would sound.

551
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:49,000
If not just Google voice it.

552
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Oh that shit hurt didn't it.

553
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,000
Oh it did.

554
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Oh my god it was worse than it.

555
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:02,000
I think the only reason they put it on us was to try to make us be more careful because otherwise next time we'll get that stupid painful stuff again.

556
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Yeah I know I swear that's it.

557
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Because I mean you're like dividing the line between sympathy and getting that shit doused on you.

558
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Yeah it's like punishment for hurting yourself.

559
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Yeah so like sometimes it's like no I'm not going there.

560
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000
She's been throwing iodine on there.

561
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Whenever you lucked out and got the turpentine you're like oh good that stuff's not nearly as bad.

562
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000
We're trying to get you to man up.

563
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Oh yeah iodine and Mercurochrome.

564
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Okay let's see next one.

565
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Watch this.

566
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,000
That's awesome.

567
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Yeah it is.

568
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:47,000
And then they're sitting there for like three hours.

569
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Did I miss it?

570
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Who am I supposed to watch?

571
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000
That's awesome.

572
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,000
They keep looking around going around.

573
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Hey did something happen around here?

574
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,000
I don't know.

575
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
You can get a kebab over there.

576
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,000
There's coffee.

577
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,000
I don't know.

578
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000
They just run up and say right here.

579
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000
It's going to happen right here.

580
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
That would be even better.

581
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Right here.

582
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Three minutes.

583
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
They didn't run way over the other side of the watch.

584
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Look at their stopwatch.

585
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,000
Three minutes.

586
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Somebody is peeling those pugs I think you can hear in the background.

587
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
They've got about half their skin off now.

588
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Yeah.

589
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
People keep running into our banner.

590
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,000
Oh wow suddenly he looks regretful that he brought all three of them to the market.

591
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000
There's three pugs.

592
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,000
There's a guy with three pugs.

593
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Next one.

594
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
This one I love.

595
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,000
What if Thor had a mullet?

596
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,000
He would not be cool anymore.

597
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000
He'd be like where did that douche bag come from?

598
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,000
Oh yeah the one with the mullet.

599
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Yeah I don't know he has this big hammer.

600
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,000
He's like screaming something about Odin or something.

601
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,000
That's fucked.

602
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000
Someone get rid of him.

603
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Call security.

604
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Now if he didn't have a mullet and he looked like Thor here,

605
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
everyone would be like hey Thor is here.

606
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,000
They've had a mullet.

607
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,000
No he'd get the cops calling.

608
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000
I had a hell of a mullet back in the day.

609
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Someone take Joe Dirt and get him the fuck out of here.

610
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,000
Sorry just throw it in the fuck.

611
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,000
I'm going to.

612
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
You had a mullet?

613
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
You had a kicking mullet?

614
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
I had yeah.

615
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000
Unfortunately during the mid 90s I.

616
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
You don't look like a douche bag.

617
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Hey thank you.

618
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
I appreciate that.

619
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000
It's a catchy name though.

620
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
It is.

621
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
We're all laughing.

622
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,000
It's so funny.

623
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Well thanks appreciate it.

624
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,000
You got anything you want to say?

625
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
To the world?

626
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000
Yeah.

627
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
Oh man I don't know.

628
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000
I don't think so.

629
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:53,000
What we're talking about now is random things to run up to a stranger and whisper in their

630
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,000
ear.

631
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Oh you could always whisper like you are the father and run away.

632
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000
That's a good one.

633
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
That's a good one.

634
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000
We are her aunts and we're watching it.

635
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,000
No I'm not.

636
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000
I play rugby so.

637
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Oh okay.

638
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Have a good podcast.

639
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,000
Yeah we are.

640
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000
We have a lot of people participate and talk.

641
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,000
That's funny.

642
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,000
I love that.

643
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Good for you guys.

644
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000
I'll have to look you up.

645
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
Yeah please do.

646
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Two douche bags on our microphone.net.

647
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
I love it.

648
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,000
Alright take care everybody.

649
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Right next to WWE that's my 12 year old grandson.

650
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,000
He does a podcast because he's in WWE.

651
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Oh really?

652
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,000
Yeah he's got a full setup in his bedroom.

653
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000
I got him the light.

654
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000
A big round light.

655
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
Because he does the visual.

656
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Yeah the video cast.

657
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Oh yeah he does the video cast.

658
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000
What's his name?

659
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
What's the name of it?

660
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Robby Cannon.

661
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,000
I don't know if his dad covers everything before he puts it on.

662
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Yeah.

663
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Yeah so.

664
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,000
But anyway he's just getting started.

665
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Yeah okay that's cool.

666
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Well he'll get a little exposure.

667
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Yeah.

668
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,000
Okay.

669
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Alright take care.

670
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Let's see.

671
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Is Rob still here?

672
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Oh yeah Rob you there?

673
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Yeah I'm still here.

674
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000
Okay.

675
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,000
You just let us talk.

676
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,000
Oh another one you could say is the test came positive.

677
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:15,000
That one would be bad.

678
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Call your doctor.

679
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,000
My doctor said the strain is drug resistant.

680
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Good luck.

681
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,000
Does yours itch too?

682
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Well it's kind of a burning itch.

683
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000
Does that count?

684
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
It really does turn black and fall off.

685
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
I looked up the symptoms.

686
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:42,000
You just better go look them up yourself.

687
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:46,000
Or you just walk up to somebody at random and say you're very brave to do that in public.

688
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Yeah.

689
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Huh?

690
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000
Like what?

691
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000
What did I do?

692
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Yeah that.

693
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,000
That.

694
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,000
You know that.

695
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,000
You know.

696
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,000
You know what I'm talking about.

697
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000
Next one.

698
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
Nestle or Hershey?

699
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,000
Oh yeah.

700
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000
Yeah you'll probably get a real response for that.

701
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,000
Yeah.

702
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000
I mean I'm more.

703
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
I don't know you know.

704
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,000
I think I like Nestle a little bit better but Hershey's good too.

705
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,000
I'm moose for both.

706
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,000
Yeah.

707
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,000
Yeah.

708
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,000
Yeah.

709
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,000
That's kind of like you see in those videos of that guy who runs around with two pillows.

710
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:27,000
And he'll just walk up to a random person and hand him a pillow and challenge him to a pillow fight.

711
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:32,000
And you know a lot of people he gets you know will go ahead and jump on in and you know they start wailing on.

712
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,000
The same guy used to do with super soakers.

713
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,000
Yeah yeah.

714
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,000
He had two super soakers.

715
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000
He'd slide one to the other guy and then they'd have a war gun fight.

716
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,000
He's the new kinder gentler guy.

717
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000
He's like oh we're going to go to pillows.

718
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,000
Yeah.

719
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,000
Because my super soaker actually got someone in the eye and I got sued.

720
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000
Yeah plus it looks like a gun.

721
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,000
Yeah that's probably it right there.

722
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Yeah.

723
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
So.

724
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,000
Here's another one.

725
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Go out for a long one.

726
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,000
I wonder how many would start running.

727
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
A lot.

728
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,000
A lot of people.

729
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000
Because that's drained in.

730
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,000
That's ingrained in from high school.

731
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,000
From college if you will.

732
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000
From Sandlot.

733
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
You know it's funny it reminded me.

734
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,000
There was one time I was walking my mail route.

735
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,000
There were a couple of guys that were throwing a football back and forth.

736
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:24,000
And as I walked past them the one guy said hey mailman go along.

737
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:29,000
So then he threw me the ball and instead of catching it I just opened up my mail bag and let it go in.

738
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,000
Oh you were the coolest person for a week then.

739
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,000
They laughed their asses off.

740
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Was this before video was famous?

741
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Yeah.

742
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Oh too bad.

743
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000
This would have been like 93 94.

744
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000
You would have went viral.

745
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,000
Nobody had smartphones.

746
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Mailman catching a football in his bag.

747
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Yep.

748
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,000
The next one.

749
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,000
Here it comes.

750
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,000
That builds a suspense.

751
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,000
Damn it.

752
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,000
Last time it said it's going to happen right here and I waited.

753
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,000
And now here it comes and I waited.

754
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000
What the hell is going on here?

755
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Something big is happening and I have no idea what it is.

756
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,000
This next one I love.

757
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:17,000
Hey thanks for showing up.

758
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,000
That's good they feel like they're obligated to do something now.

759
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
Was this some sort of satanic mass or something?

760
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000
Hey you showed up.

761
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000
You gotta do something.

762
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,000
They're showing up.

763
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:32,000
What the hell am I showing up to?

764
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Next one only us will get this and maybe a couple other people.

765
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:41,000
Sammy or Dave?

766
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I'm a David Lee Roth guy myself.

767
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
Yeah I kind of like the music better with David.

768
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
The music was better.

769
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000
I love his showmanship.

770
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Not now, now he looks like Uncle Skeletor.

771
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Uncle Creepy.

772
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000
He did not age well.

773
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Sammy Hagar looks much cooler at this age.

774
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,000
Yeah he's like his mid 70's.

775
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000
He looks like he's 50.

776
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Yeah he's still having the time of his life.

777
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,000
He still sounds great.

778
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,000
David Lee Roth can't even talk.

779
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,000
His voice is gone.

780
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:19,000
David Lee Roth was never as much a singer as an entertainer.

781
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,000
No he is an entertainer and he knew that too.

782
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000
And he stated that.

783
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Sammy was both.

784
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:28,000
He had the singing chops, the guitar playing chops, the songwriting chops.

785
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
And he was a decent entertainer.

786
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,000
David was all eye candy.

787
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Yep.

788
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Next one and final one.

789
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:43,000
Goatee or Van Dyke?

790
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,000
There's a definite difference if you know what they are.

791
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
I think you do don't you?

792
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Let's see.

793
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000
Goatee is just the chin whiskers.

794
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000
Yes.

795
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,000
And the Van Dyke is the mustache teeth.

796
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,000
Yes.

797
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,000
I'm a goatee person.

798
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,000
I think the chin whiskers look a little weird on their own.

799
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000
Yeah.

800
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Now.

801
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000
I've got my goatee instead.

802
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Okay.

803
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:09,000
What I think is cool is to grow your goatee out nice and long and then braid it into a single dreadlock.

804
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,000
That is cool.

805
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,000
Yeah.

806
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,000
That would be a goatee with accessory.

807
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Yeah.

808
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Okay.

809
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Let's go goatee with accessory even though that wasn't a part of it.

810
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,000
But anyhow, yeah.

811
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:25,000
Certain people would like to have a definite opinion.

812
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Other people shrug their shoulders.

813
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,000
What were you saying?

814
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
I was going to say comb the cookie crumbs out of your goatee.

815
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,000
Oh yeah.

816
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
It would be easier if it was like in a ponytail.

817
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:37,000
Just like shake it a little bit and it would all fall out of the ponytail and everything would be great.

818
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:43,000
There was an Alice in Chains video where Lanes Daly had a goatee dreadlock.

819
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Yeah.

820
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000
And that was a clip-on.

821
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,000
It wasn't really his but it was like a clip-on for the video.

822
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000
But it looked pretty cool.

823
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Yeah.

824
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Yeah.

825
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000
I know what you're talking about actually.

826
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
I remember that.

827
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Yeah.

828
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,000
And I didn't know that was a clip-on.

829
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000
Yeah.

830
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000
I think it was for them bones.

831
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Them bones.

832
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Yeah.

833
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,000
That sounds about right.

834
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,000
It was one of their earlier hits.

835
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,000
Yeah.

836
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,000
It was after Man in the Box which caught everybody in the world.

837
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Yeah.

838
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,000
And that sounds about right.

839
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
It was the next album Dirt.

840
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Yeah.

841
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Dirt.

842
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:18,000
I could tell it was a clip-on because in order to have that chin dreadlock his beard would

843
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
have to be about a foot long or more.

844
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Oh.

845
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
It wasn't.

846
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,000
Oh that makes sense.

847
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,000
He never had a beard that long so it was just a clip-on.

848
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
That makes sense.

849
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000
Yeah.

850
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000
We on.

851
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,000
All right.

852
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,000
Fish on.

853
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:35,000
You know actually the second to last comment in someone's ear, whisper in someone's ear,

854
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000
I forgot Gary.

855
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Gary Sharone.

856
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:38,000
Sammy, Dave or Gary.

857
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,000
Gary.

858
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000
You're right.

859
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,000
Gary was part of Van Halen.

860
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,000
Yeah.

861
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,000
Yeah.

862
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,000
He actually sounded really good in Van Halen.

863
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000
The album didn't do anything but.

864
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000
Yeah.

865
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,000
I mean people were tired of him changing lead singers.

866
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,000
Yes.

867
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,000
At that point you might as well just put it out under a different name and make sure everyone

868
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,000
knows that it's you know most of Van Halen.

869
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Yeah.

870
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000
That's true.

871
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Yep.

872
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Let's see.

873
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,000
Trying to think.

874
00:36:55,000 --> 00:37:08,000
I have a story.

875
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:12,120
Oh okay.

876
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:21,840
There was a social experiment done back in the 50s that was really groundbreaking.

877
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:27,200
The way the system, the experiment was set up is they would have volunteers come to a

878
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:34,040
place and they say what we're doing is we're testing memory and trying to see if memory

879
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:38,000
improves with negative feedback.

880
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,680
So what we're going to do is you're going to sit here at this console and there is a

881
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:47,960
person in another room and you will read them a question and then they will respond and

882
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,440
if they get it right you move on.

883
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:56,320
If they get it wrong you press this button and administer a small electric shock.

884
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:57,320
Okay.

885
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:02,640
And they had a person, usually a man standing with next to him wearing a lab coat holding

886
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:06,620
a clipboard you know looking very official.

887
00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:11,440
So they would have people come in and sit down and start reading these questions and

888
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:16,600
when the guy would get them wrong they would shock him and the shocks would get more and

889
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:21,040
more intense as the system went along.

890
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:26,160
And eventually the person in the other room was starting to yell and scream when he was

891
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,160
getting the shots.

892
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,160
I think I know where this goes.

893
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,840
The person with the clipboard kept saying just keep going, keep doing it, they're a

894
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:40,840
volunteer, they agreed to this and the person kept administering the shots over and over

895
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:41,840
when you get them.

896
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:46,000
The person would be reading the question, the guy would get it wrong and then the person

897
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:50,120
would beg them please don't shock me, please don't and the guy with the clipboard said

898
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,040
push the button, give the correction.

899
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,920
The person would go ahead and push the button because the authority figure told him to and

900
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,000
then they would hear the person in the other room scream in pain and these people reading

901
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:08,840
the questions would be weeping and begging don't make me do this, don't make me do this

902
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,640
and then they'd just keep doing it.

903
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,880
Nobody was making them do it.

904
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:18,000
They could have gotten up and left at any time but this authority figure with the clipboard

905
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,880
was telling them to and they felt helpless.

906
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,880
And they would continue and even to the point.

907
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,880
What a thing in psychology.

908
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,880
Yeah.

909
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,080
Now even to the point where the person in the other room would lose consciousness from

910
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,480
pain and successive shots.

911
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,880
Isn't that crazy?

912
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,280
That is.

913
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:41,400
The vast majority of people would continue to deliver shots just because the authority

914
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:45,320
figure told them to well past the point where the person was screaming in pain.

915
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,160
Now here's the kicker.

916
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,760
The person in the other room was an actor.

917
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:50,760
I figured that.

918
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:55,080
There was never any electrical shock, never any pain but there was an experiment to see

919
00:39:55,080 --> 00:40:00,240
if an authority figure tells you to how far would you go to hurt another human being who

920
00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:01,880
has done nothing to you.

921
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,440
Well you need to look no further than Hitler.

922
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:09,200
The answer was that pretty much almost 90% of these people would just keep giving the

923
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,640
shots because the man with the clipboard told them to.

924
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,640
Wow.

925
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,640
Isn't that nuts?

926
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,200
That is insane and that's scary.

927
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:22,640
And when this was printed in the papers back in the 50s it caused an enormous stir because

928
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:28,360
the United States was trying to raise people to do whatever authority told them.

929
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,920
Don't think, don't reason, just listen to what we tell you.

930
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,360
They perfected it let's be honest.

931
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:39,160
But then this story came out and people realized holy hell we're giving up our free will on

932
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,160
people, our choice.

933
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,520
Yeah it was a big stir.

934
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:48,960
They tried to redo this study in the 90s with much poorer results.

935
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,600
The vast majority of people just said I ain't doing this and they stood up and walked out.

936
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,440
That's interesting because I thought today there would be more people going oh yeah I'll

937
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,640
do it.

938
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:03,080
Well I don't know what the results they'd get if they tried it today but when they tried

939
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:10,360
to recreate it in the 90s the conclusion was people's view of authority is a lot different

940
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,360
now.

941
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:16,040
Back in the 50s it was authority okay they automatically get control I'm going to do

942
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,040
what they say.

943
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:22,480
But in the 90s it was they're the authority well I didn't vote for them, I didn't put

944
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,120
them in charge why should I listen to them.

945
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:30,040
And so those people you know they would administer a few shocks and the person would start yelling

946
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,040
and they're like I'm out I'm not doing this anymore.

947
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,320
Well I like it that's cool.

948
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,960
But in the 50s we were a nation of slaves.

949
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,160
The government would tell us what to think and we'd think isn't that nuts.

950
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:44,160
That is nuts.

951
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,040
Thank God we've got more independence.

952
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,880
I would think it was the other way now just by the nature of how everyone acts.

953
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:56,080
Yeah I think if they recreated the study now they'd have to do it differently.

954
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,240
I bet they would get a lot more people to go along with it.

955
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,240
I think so too.

956
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:05,040
I bet they would because they just don't want to think about consequences.

957
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,920
So many people just live in the moment.

958
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,920
Well in the 90s it was anti-establishment anyhow.

959
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:11,920
So big time.

960
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,160
It was almost like the 60s recreated over again.

961
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:20,680
Because grunge was kind of rejection of the big bloated recording contracts.

962
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:26,960
Yeah the rejection of corporations, corporate America, corporate rock all that.

963
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,240
Get back to basics, let's just be raw and unpolished and crude.

964
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,240
It was very appealing.

965
00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:38,720
I think it was called the Johnson study.

966
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:39,720
That's what kind of comes to mind.

967
00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:40,720
Actually that sounds about right.

968
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:43,720
I think I remember something about that now.

969
00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:44,720
Yeah.

970
00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:50,960
It'd be useful if they taught that in school but they never will.

971
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:51,960
No they won't.

972
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,720
Guess what just came over my desk.

973
00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:55,720
What came over your desk?

974
00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:56,720
Deer douchebags.

975
00:42:56,720 --> 00:42:57,720
I love the deer douchebags.

976
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:06,080
We'll be right back.

977
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,320
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.

978
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,440
It's strange insults from an alien.

979
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:13,440
Real hilarity.

980
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:19,160
Hey you forever feel yourself infuriated and the pocket is not even in it.

981
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,160
All aware of the Amber Alert right?

982
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,760
Well get rid of your disinfectants and rubber bed spreads kids.

983
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,760
Here's the all new Amber Heard Alert system.

984
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:31,900
This fantastic early warning device helps one stay dry and rid of all those annoying

985
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:33,840
mattress invoices.

986
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:39,000
Simply hook up to child under six or psychopath and wait for the running water sound.

987
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,200
This clever machine has three distinct settings.

988
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:45,680
Bablin Brooks, ocean waves and roaring river for those close calls.

989
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:54,120
Order today and get a free Cinnabon Renews It Cartridge.

990
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:59,800
If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk this is what it would sound like.

991
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,680
Two douchebags and a microphone.

992
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:05,360
The number one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast.

993
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,200
Deer douchebags and microphone.

994
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:09,200
I'm Tober.

995
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:10,200
I'm Mark.

996
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,200
And we have Rob on the phone.

997
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:14,200
Rob Brad.

998
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,200
All right.

999
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,720
You got anything you want to say before we go to the deer douchebags letter?

1000
00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,720
Well actually yeah there is something.

1001
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:31,160
I'm doing kind of like a way of about lazy society these days.

1002
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,160
Delivery services.

1003
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,160
Door dash, glove hub, engine car.

1004
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,160
All of them.

1005
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,160
That's what my girlfriend does for a living.

1006
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:44,160
She makes as much money if not more than me.

1007
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,160
Wow.

1008
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,160
Okay.

1009
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:54,520
The other day she went she picked up she got an order for nine different orders all

1010
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,080
combined into one.

1011
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:00,080
She picks up a pack of gum in Market City.

1012
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,080
Okay.

1013
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:02,080
Pack of gum.

1014
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:03,080
Yeah.

1015
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,080
Guys down around 62nd True.

1016
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,080
She Brooks side.

1017
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,080
Then on over to Rusty.

1018
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,080
And her last delivery was in Rayport.

1019
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,080
This pack of gum.

1020
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:19,400
Okay.

1021
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,400
She pulls up in front of the house.

1022
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:21,400
It was last weekend.

1023
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:22,400
There was a big group of people out in the driveway barbecuing playing corn hole as she

1024
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,400
walked up and delivered this pack of gum.

1025
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,400
That yeah that.

1026
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,400
So they would rather have a pack of gum.

1027
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,400
Yeah.

1028
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:39,280
They were right there in Rayport gas station right up the street.

1029
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:52,280
So they waited like an hour, hour and a half for this pack of gum.

1030
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:53,280
Wow.

1031
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,280
That's insane.

1032
00:45:54,280 --> 00:46:17,800
That's you know I don't imagine that that's you know a sustainable thing for a person to

1033
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,520
do is keep ordering packs of gum on.

1034
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:25,600
But there are enough people to do it here and there on a whim or on a work.

1035
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:31,200
That I think that's going to be you know a pretty steady supply because I mean everybody

1036
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,120
made money off of that except the person buying the gum.

1037
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,120
Yeah.

1038
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,120
How do you tip?

1039
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,120
What do you tip on a pack of gum purchase?

1040
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,120
A buck?

1041
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,120
That's probably what the gum costs.

1042
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,120
Yeah.

1043
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,120
Yeah.

1044
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,120
I don't know what she got this tip on that.

1045
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,120
It's just crazy.

1046
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,120
Some of the stores that I've been to, they're all like, oh my gosh.

1047
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:52,120
I don't know what she's got this stuff on that.

1048
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,120
It's just crazy.

1049
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,120
Some of the stories she tells.

1050
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,120
Well it shows you about our lazy society doesn't it?

1051
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,120
Yeah.

1052
00:46:58,120 --> 00:46:59,120
Yeah.

1053
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,120
It's like what me go out, oh no I couldn't possibly go out with this guy.

1054
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,120
No.

1055
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:04,120
No.

1056
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,120
He's got to be brought to me.

1057
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,120
Yeah.

1058
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,120
I mean I can understand.

1059
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:08,120
You have a long day at work.

1060
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,120
You get home to make dinner.

1061
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,120
You forgot something.

1062
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,120
You didn't stop and grab something to go with dinner.

1063
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,120
No.

1064
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:17,120
Yeah you don't want to go back down.

1065
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,120
You get online or I can understand.

1066
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:21,120
Yeah.

1067
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:22,120
Or if you're handicapped.

1068
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,120
Yeah.

1069
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:28,120
But if you're just being pure lazy.

1070
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:31,120
That's a lot of money to be pure lazy.

1071
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:32,120
Yeah it is.

1072
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:39,120
Well at least on the good part they're getting that money back into circulation instead of

1073
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,120
just holding onto it.

1074
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:41,120
Yeah.

1075
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:42,120
Yeah true.

1076
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,120
It drives the economy.

1077
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:48,120
Money has to change hands a certain number of times every day.

1078
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:52,120
Oh yeah the government loves it because they get their tax on everything.

1079
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,120
Yeah.

1080
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,120
Yeah that's like triple taxed at least.

1081
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,120
So.

1082
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:57,120
Well okay.

1083
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:02,120
You got anything else you want to go into or?

1084
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,120
I'll save the rest for next time.

1085
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,120
Alright.

1086
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:07,120
Alright you know you're open forum.

1087
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,120
You want to talk about anything.

1088
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,120
You had a story about my brother.

1089
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,120
Oh yes okay yes.

1090
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:21,120
Yeah let's go ahead and go into this and then we'll do the deer douche bags afterwards.

1091
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,120
Alright.

1092
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,120
Yeah because this was funny.

1093
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:24,120
This was hilarious.

1094
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:29,120
One night me, Martin, John get off work there just in gypsum.

1095
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,120
It's like 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning.

1096
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:37,120
We get this crazy hair run down to Harrisonville.

1097
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,120
Don't even know why we were going.

1098
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,120
I think there's like a bunch of wild bitches down there wasn't there?

1099
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,120
Down in Hooterville?

1100
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:45,120
Yeah in Hooterville.

1101
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,120
Always was.

1102
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:47,120
Always was.

1103
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,120
Well we're doing my caprice.

1104
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,120
I'm driving.

1105
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,120
Oh and your caprice.

1106
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,120
Yeah go ahead.

1107
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:56,120
At Mugs on the passenger side.

1108
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,120
John's sitting in the back seat.

1109
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,120
We get down.

1110
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,120
We're rolling down 71.

1111
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,120
We get down around the curi.

1112
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:07,120
This guy's walking down the side of the road.

1113
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,120
I looked at him and I said, should we get him arrived?

1114
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,120
They said yeah.

1115
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,120
I was like, pick him up.

1116
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:18,120
I swear to God we're 2 miles from Harrisonville.

1117
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,120
Just from peculiar to Harrisonville.

1118
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:25,120
This guy has a door open and a radio jump out.

1119
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,120
Around 55, 60 yards.

1120
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:28,120
Nice.

1121
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,120
It's a road rash there.

1122
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:34,120
I kept watching John.

1123
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:39,120
John started screaming over closer and closer to this guy.

1124
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,120
That's saying I know.

1125
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:47,120
Well Mark was watching.

1126
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:53,120
So Mark puts his arm around me.

1127
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,120
And John puts his arm around this dude.

1128
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:57,120
That's all.

1129
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,120
Oh my God that dude flipped out.

1130
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,120
Oh my God.

1131
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:06,120
We had to stop him from jumping.

1132
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,120
We're just messing with you.

1133
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:09,120
We're just messing with you.

1134
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,120
We do this to everybody.

1135
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,120
We're just messing with you.

1136
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,120
I bet that guy never hitched my car.

1137
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,120
I bet he didn't either.

1138
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:23,120
I bet you if you ever had to walk outside the road he had a sign that said no I don't want to ride.

1139
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:28,120
He was only in the car like 3 miles.

1140
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:34,120
I know the purr guy.

1141
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,120
Oh God we were assholes.

1142
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,120
God we were assholes.

1143
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:44,120
Back in high school days my brother John had a friend Mikey.

1144
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:48,120
And sometimes they'd go to the same parties a lot.

1145
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:56,120
And one of their favorite gags was to sit in a place where when you came in the door you'd see them immediately.

1146
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:02,120
And then they'd sit on the couch and they'd wrap their legs around each other and cuddle.

1147
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:08,120
So as soon as people came in the door they'd see these two guys cuddling on the sofa and go up.

1148
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:12,120
But the fun part is my brother John isn't gay.

1149
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,120
But the guy Mikey who's doing this with is gay.

1150
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:20,120
But at the time wasn't out yet.

1151
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,120
So John thinks he's being wild and crazy.

1152
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:27,120
But Mikey's over there and he's going to cool.

1153
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:36,120
It probably helped him realize that was cooler than that chick.

1154
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,120
Pretty cool.

1155
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:43,120
Alright well now moving right along we have a dear douchebag sent in.

1156
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:46,120
Can you believe that people still ride us?

1157
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:50,120
I am surprised that people actually use snail mail.

1158
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,120
They'll put a stamp on an envelope and everything.

1159
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:59,120
After all the horrible advice we've handed out someone would actually ride us and want our remarks on anything?

1160
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,120
Gluttons for punishment I suppose.

1161
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:04,120
I guess. I mean I guess they really want to go to jail or something.

1162
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,120
Let's find out.

1163
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,120
I mean last time Mr. Creepy interrupted.

1164
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:12,120
Sure hope he doesn't do it this time. We don't see him anywhere.

1165
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,120
Yeah I heard that this morning.

1166
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,120
Yeah yeah we called the cops on him so we don't know.

1167
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:21,120
I'm thinking that woman over there is my wife's cousin. She never turns around.

1168
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,120
I can't see her from the front.

1169
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,120
Oh she sent a spy.

1170
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,120
She's moving on.

1171
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:33,120
Okay dear douchebags I have a neighbor who keeps blowing all her leaves in our yard when we are away.

1172
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:40,120
I get home after going on a day trip with my family and bam all the leaves magically appear in my backyard.

1173
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:45,120
I also have neighbors that report such activity to me when it happens.

1174
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:50,120
I usually try to turn the other cheek but I just can't let this asshole keep on doing me like this.

1175
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:54,120
Signed my neighbors at Tool in Kabul.

1176
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,120
Another good one.

1177
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,120
I love it.

1178
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,120
Our listeners have the best fucking names don't they?

1179
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,120
They're so clever.

1180
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,120
I can't wait to hear a response.

1181
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,120
Yeah I'm looking around trying to make sure Mr. Creepy don't come in and bat in.

1182
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,120
I don't think this is sick enough for Mr. Creepy. He's like who's there?

1183
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,120
He likes the pervy stuff.

1184
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:16,120
They arrested him right upside his van. His ice cream truck.

1185
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,120
Yeah.

1186
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,120
Well I was like didn't he steal somebody's Uber?

1187
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,120
Yeah he did. He stole someone's Uber.

1188
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,120
After that when he left your show?

1189
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:30,120
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It doesn't look like he's here.

1190
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:35,120
Okay there. I have a couple of suggestions for you about said dickwad.

1191
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:39,120
One. Pile up all the leaves he blows in your yard.

1192
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:45,120
Then when he goes out for a bit dig a huge hole in his yard and cover it up with a foliage.

1193
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,120
Then when he goes to pick him up he'll fall in.

1194
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,120
The bear trap.

1195
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:56,120
Yeah. When he is in the hole make sure and blow out loud happy music with party hats just right across the fence.

1196
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,120
Yeah. I like that.

1197
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:01,120
Have like a little dumb shits in the hole party.

1198
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,120
Start singing that song 30 days in the hole.

1199
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,120
30 days in the hole.

1200
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:11,120
Hopefully he likes twisting the ankle so bad he's got to sit there and call for help.

1201
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:12,120
Yeah.

1202
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:17,120
Meanwhile no one can hear him because your music is so loud.

1203
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:18,120
Sure.

1204
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:19,120
Yeah.

1205
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:23,120
Number two. Sign him up for insurance reviews of his house.

1206
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:30,120
This will be hilarious to watch from your living room as the insurance sales people constantly badger him for weeks.

1207
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:31,120
And they will.

1208
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,120
They will.

1209
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:39,120
If he cycles through all of their lists you're going to be getting calls.

1210
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,120
Three. And people drop him by too.

1211
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,120
Oh yeah.

1212
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:51,120
Yeah. Three. Buy a drone then set the drone on the property's fence line and every time he comes out take swipes at him.

1213
00:54:51,120 --> 00:55:03,120
Oh shit there's that big mosquito.

1214
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:07,120
Number four. Find out what moles eat.

1215
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:10,120
Whatever moles eat. Grub worms.

1216
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:11,120
Grub worms yeah.

1217
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,120
And make sure his yard is well stocked with plenty.

1218
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:17,120
Oh man moles are tough to get rid of.

1219
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:24,120
Whenever he's out there covered up trying to kill the moles he's going to have to remove all his leaves.

1220
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:29,120
That's all I got good luck.

1221
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:30,120
Yeah.

1222
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,120
He looks like Bill Murray out there.

1223
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,120
Yeah.

1224
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,120
So I was thinking another option you could do is you get a bunch of your friends over.

1225
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,120
Uh huh.

1226
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:41,120
And when your neighbor comes out in the backyard you can point and yell.

1227
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,120
That's him. That's the guy.

1228
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:50,120
And then your friends bring up their cell phones and start taking pictures and video.

1229
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,120
I think what you do is you take his rake.

1230
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,120
Yeah.

1231
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:57,120
And then like take pictures of you rubbing it all over your ball sack.

1232
00:55:57,120 --> 00:56:03,120
Then after he gets done raking the yard you send him the pictures.

1233
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:08,120
Or you just send him a picture of yourself rubbing dog poop all over the handle of the rake.

1234
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:09,120
That too.

1235
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,120
Although I had to go to ball sack.

1236
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,120
Is that Mr. Creepy?

1237
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,120
No he went on.

1238
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,120
It is. I'm going to throw a rock at him.

1239
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,120
Oh please do.

1240
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,120
You know the next time I see Mr. Creepy I want to hit him in the nuts really hard.

1241
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,120
Does he have rocks?

1242
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,120
I don't know.

1243
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:26,120
You motherfuckers keep talking about me.

1244
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:27,120
I'm going to come over.

1245
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,120
I'm going to burn both your houses down.

1246
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,120
Some of the bitches.

1247
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:34,120
Mr. Creepy is like you say his name three times and he appears.

1248
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:35,120
Yeah.

1249
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,120
Up he's going again.

1250
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,120
Oh yeah he stole that guy's oobra.

1251
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:40,120
That guy's pissed.

1252
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,120
Look at him.

1253
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,120
He's stomping up and down.

1254
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,120
It wasn't only that guy's oobra.

1255
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:45,120
That guy was the oobra driver.

1256
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,120
Oh shit.

1257
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:50,120
No wonder he's stomping up and down.

1258
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:52,120
You stole my Prius.

1259
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:56,120
Yeah so I was going to come in there and go man how come my oobra driver's pants are

1260
00:56:56,120 --> 00:57:01,120
shut up and mind your own fucking business.

1261
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:02,120
Doesn't matter what I do.

1262
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:08,120
You just sit back there and take the ride motherfucker.

1263
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,120
Alright did you hear about the Russian warplane that accidentally bombed Russia?

1264
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:12,120
No.

1265
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,120
Yeah I heard that this morning.

1266
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:15,120
Oh yeah.

1267
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:16,120
Lovely.

1268
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:21,120
A Russian warplane dropped a bomb on a Russian city of more than 400,000 people late Thursday

1269
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:28,120
leaving a crater 20 meters 65 foot across blowing a car onto a roof and damaging a building

1270
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:34,120
in what state media called an accidental or emergency release of air ordnance.

1271
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:37,120
Or maybe it was a premature release.

1272
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:42,120
I think it was a premature release but they don't want to word it like that because they're

1273
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,120
Russia.

1274
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:49,120
A Russian SU-34 aircraft, a twin engine fighter bomber was performing a flight over the city

1275
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:56,120
of Belgrade 40 kilometers or 24.8 miles north of the border with Ukraine when the accidental

1276
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,120
drop of the ammunition took place.

1277
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:14,120
According to reports the state news agency RIA Novosti at around 2215 Moscow time on

1278
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:21,120
April 20th the SU-34 plane of the Russian aerospace forces was performing a flight above

1279
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:26,120
the city of Belgrade and emergency release of the air ordnance occurred.

1280
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:31,120
Anyhow it says there's a couple injuries but no fatalities.

1281
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,120
Wow.

1282
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:33,120
But they're probably lying about that too.

1283
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:34,120
Well yeah.

1284
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:38,120
They probably killed the whole town but they're not going to tell it.

1285
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:39,120
All 400,000.

1286
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,120
That's a big hole we hit somebody.

1287
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,120
That is a big hole.

1288
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:44,120
Yeah it is.

1289
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,120
And that's a big hole in a city for no one to get hurt.

1290
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,120
Yeah.

1291
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:54,120
But I mean you know they don't necessarily have to say anything you know they're Russia.

1292
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:56,120
They don't have to.

1293
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:57,120
Well that's true.

1294
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:04,120
I saw a Tesla hack video the other day that was intriguing.

1295
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:05,120
Okay.

1296
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:12,120
This guy had he managed to get a hold of some wrecked Teslas and apparently they are very

1297
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:18,120
difficult to get a hold of because Tesla comes and takes back all the proprietary stuff.

1298
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:21,120
Like you total your Tesla you don't get to keep it.

1299
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:22,120
No.

1300
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:25,120
But then Tesla comes and takes all the sensitive stuff away.

1301
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:31,120
This guy again managed to get a hold of a few older Teslas and he was taking them apart

1302
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:38,120
and saying you know okay here's the main circuit board that controls the self the auto driving

1303
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:41,120
and here's the main one that controls this and that.

1304
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:46,120
And he was showing these were you know pretty basic computer boards.

1305
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:51,120
A lot of off the shelf components etc.

1306
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:56,120
As he was getting into the video is getting a lot more technical so I'm not really sure

1307
00:59:56,120 --> 01:00:02,120
how he was going to do it but he was showing how with these older Tesla parts you could

1308
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:04,120
hack into the newer Tesla's.

1309
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,120
Oh.

1310
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:06,120
As they're driving.

1311
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:07,120
Oh boy.

1312
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,120
And start making them do stuff.

1313
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:13,120
You could definitely hack into one that's parked.

1314
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:17,120
But as it's driving he said if you've got a strong enough signal and you know you get

1315
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:22,120
through the security etc. you can take over someone's Tesla just by having parts from

1316
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:23,120
an older Tesla.

1317
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,120
Wow.

1318
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:29,120
And that's why Tesla is so rigid about keeping their wrecked ones off the market.

1319
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:30,120
Yep.

1320
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:35,120
Apparently they have a huge vulnerability for hackers and the only way they keep it at

1321
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,120
bay is by not letting the hackers have the equipment to them.

1322
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:39,120
Wow.

1323
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:40,120
But how long is that going to last?

1324
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:44,120
That's not going to last very long because people will figure out a way to get them.

1325
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:45,120
Yeah.

1326
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:46,120
Yeah.

1327
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:51,120
If I had a small police department down here that has a Tesla I could have some fun.

1328
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:52,120
Oh yeah.

1329
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,120
Wow.

1330
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:54,120
That would be fun.

1331
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,120
You keep turning them around.

1332
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,120
Just make it shut off at random times.

1333
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:03,120
Or when he's shooting radar turn his car around and you blow through there at 140 mile an

1334
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:04,120
hour.

1335
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:08,120
Set the GPS for the donut shot.

1336
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:09,120
Yeah.

1337
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:14,120
God you'd have a lot of fun with that.

1338
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:15,120
Yeah.

1339
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:16,120
Video surveillance.

1340
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:19,120
There's only like two or three options if you were to go downtown.

1341
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,120
And they have a Tesla.

1342
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,120
Yeah.

1343
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:26,120
Well that was your tax money buddy.

1344
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:27,120
Yeah.

1345
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:28,120
No I don't leave anything.

1346
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:29,120
Oh okay.

1347
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,120
Alright that's cool.

1348
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,120
Somebody else's tax money.

1349
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:39,120
I find it interesting that a small town in mid southern Missouri chose to have a Tesla.

1350
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,120
Yeah.

1351
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:41,120
Yeah.

1352
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:42,120
I'm not trying to figure that out.

1353
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,120
They're not easy to maintain.

1354
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:49,120
No they're very expensive and they're not the most efficient car at chasing somebody

1355
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:50,120
either.

1356
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:51,120
No.

1357
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,120
I don't know this one's pretty quick.

1358
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,120
It is.

1359
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:55,120
Yeah.

1360
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,120
Limited range though.

1361
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,120
You turn the lights and sirens on and the radio and all that stuff.

1362
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:01,120
All that drains the battery.

1363
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:02,120
That's true.

1364
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,120
You know.

1365
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:05,120
The only source of power you have is the battery.

1366
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:08,120
And everything in the car runs off that battery.

1367
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:12,120
Air conditioning, heater, defroster, powered seats, everything.

1368
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:16,120
I mean I could actually see them having a natural gas vehicle before I could see them

1369
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:17,120
having a.

1370
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:18,120
Yeah.

1371
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:19,120
Yeah.

1372
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:24,120
Well they went to Tesla and everybody's like how did you get the funding for that?

1373
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,120
Really?

1374
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,120
You know because there's only like two, three officers for the whole town.

1375
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,120
And those aren't cheap cars.

1376
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,120
Well I would definitely go the speed limit through that town.

1377
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:34,120
Yeah.

1378
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:35,120
Wow.

1379
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,120
What's the name of the town?

1380
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,120
Lynn Creek.

1381
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,120
Lynn Creek.

1382
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,120
Yeah it's right in the middle of the town.

1383
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:45,120
Oh okay.

1384
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:47,120
It's an old town.

1385
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,120
I've been.

1386
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:49,120
There's really not much there.

1387
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,120
I've probably been through there a million times actually.

1388
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:52,120
Yeah.

1389
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:53,120
I know that way so much.

1390
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:54,120
Yeah so.

1391
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:55,120
Okay.

1392
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,120
I wonder if that was maybe a donation.

1393
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:57,120
Or somebody you know.

1394
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:58,120
Could have been someone left to make a donation.

1395
01:02:58,120 --> 01:02:59,120
Yeah.

1396
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:00,120
Yeah it could have been.

1397
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:01,120
Who knows.

1398
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:04,120
It was a little odd for a little tiny town to have a Tesla.

1399
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:05,120
Yeah.

1400
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:06,120
Yeah.

1401
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:07,120
Very interesting.

1402
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:08,120
Huh.

1403
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,120
They get a lot of revenue off of highways.

1404
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:12,120
Yeah that's good.

1405
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:13,120
That's what 65?

1406
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:14,120
Well Lynn Creek drops to 55.

1407
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:15,120
Oh yeah.

1408
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,120
Okay.

1409
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:17,120
Yeah that's the key.

1410
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:18,120
You drop the speed limit.

1411
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:19,120
That's the key.

1412
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:20,120
They drop the speed limit.

1413
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:21,120
You're still fucking blazing.

1414
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,120
Yeah.

1415
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,120
Yeah.

1416
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,120
Alright.

1417
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,120
Yeah and then you get these kids that run 80, 90 now.

1418
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:26,120
You know.

1419
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:27,120
Oh okay.

1420
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:28,120
Tesla's bought on daddy's money.

1421
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:29,120
I get it.

1422
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:30,120
Yeah.

1423
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:31,120
Yeah.

1424
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:32,120
They're really good.

1425
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,120
Yeah.

1426
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:34,120
Yeah.

1427
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:42,960
There's sections of North Dakota where they up the speed limit to 80.

1428
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:43,960
Which I'm all for.

1429
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:44,960
Yeah.

1430
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:45,960
Yeah.

1431
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,960
You know what if you do that and you die it's on you.

1432
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:48,960
Alright.

1433
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:50,760
There was a time not too long back.

1434
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,080
In fact it was in the 90s.

1435
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:59,080
My oldest brother lived in Montana and the speed limit on the interstate was reasonable

1436
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:00,480
and prudent.

1437
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:01,480
There was no speed limit.

1438
01:04:01,480 --> 01:04:02,480
I love it.

1439
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:04,480
I love it.

1440
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:05,480
Yeah.

1441
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:06,480
Yeah.

1442
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:07,480
Yeah.

1443
01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:09,280
Two douchebags and microphone dot net.

1444
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:13,080
Your one stop for everything douchebaggery.

1445
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:14,080
You want to write us?

1446
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,280
You want to say something to us?

1447
01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:17,640
You want to look for a live button?

1448
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:19,720
When we go live you can call in.

1449
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:24,200
All of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and eye holes.

1450
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:25,580
You got it chumps.

1451
01:04:25,580 --> 01:04:26,580
It's all yours.

1452
01:04:26,580 --> 01:04:29,480
Two douchebags and microphone dot net is up and running.

1453
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,480
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1454
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:34,080
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

1455
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:37,080
Don't forget to hit the subscribe.

1456
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:45,480
Hey where do they go?

1457
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:50,480
Where are the douchebags?

1458
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:55,480
Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner.

1459
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:56,480
Oh jeez.

1460
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:57,480
Glad they're gone.

1461
01:04:57,480 --> 01:05:00,480
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1462
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:27,480
Man that smells.