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This is a voice guide from your favorite podcast, Two Douchebags in a Microphone.

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People often ask us how they can find us when doing a remote broadcast.

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1.

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Smell.

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Go to the city market and start sniffing.

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Our aroma has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce, and

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old sock with dark fuzzy urine.

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2.

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Look for the spot absent of patrons.

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3.

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The most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably.

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4.

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Just call us at 816-512-7717.

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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Kansas City, Missouri, from the

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banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is To Douchebags

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and Microphones on gas.

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Two tool bags and a socket wrench will be right back.

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I mean, he said the store in Jackson ran out, so they had to send them more already, and

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they had to send more.

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And I think that's the problem.

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I mean, I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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I think that's the problem.

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pretty quick. But he's foreseeing a time coming up in like a month or so where they're not

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going to be able to keep up with demand. So he's apologizing already. So he said he's

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going to do his best to keep him going, but it's good to know that people know how good

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the filthy bean is. And like I said, that's what this guy does. I mean, he's been doing

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this all his life and he's been to every country that produces coffee.

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Wow. Yeah, that's dedication. It's passion. I haven't even been to all the coffee shops

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in my neighborhood. I have not been to every country that has goat porn. I mean, I guess

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I'm not that dedicated. I guess not. Well, there's always tomorrow. Speaking of goat

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porn, I want a little I want a report card on the latest promo. Now you might. Yeah,

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someone might have heard this on the last one. I think it comes out tomorrow. The last

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podcast or the one scheduled. I think it comes out tomorrow. So you'll actually hear it in

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there. But Topher is going to give me a little rating on the newest little promo bumper skin,

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whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we kind of like it. And these things keep ourselves entertained.

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And if you get entertained, too, that's cool. But mostly we're just making ourselves laugh.

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Yes, pretty much. Yeah, at this point, pretty much. All right, here we go.

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Voice guy from your favorite podcast. People often ask us how they can find us when doing

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the remote broadcast. One smell. Go to the city market and start sniffing. Our aroma

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has been described as a mixture of flea powder for goats, Tabasco sauce and old sock with

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dark fuzzy urine. Fuzzy. It's supposed to be fuzzy, but I think I accidentally put a

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no in it. Most telling sign is a crowd of patrons vomiting uncontrollably. Just call

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us at 816-512-7717. This is second promo. Two douchebags and a microphone. The number

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one show for people that lie about their favorite podcast. That's pretty good. I like those.

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I do too. So report card B and A on there. I give those an A. Okay, good. Good. And when

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we turn this to the voice guy, whenever I do this, I type it out and send it to him.

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I don't actually do it because I like his inflection because he'll do like four or five

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of them for me to approve. Oh, okay. Cool. I wondered how that happened. Yeah. And he

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always knows how to do the inflection right. I don't want to put my spin on anything. I

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want him to do it. Yes. Cause he's so much better at it. And this guy's done, you know

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what? I don't know. I mean, I have his resume in there, but there is like some major stuff

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this guy has done and a lot of radio, a lot of different shows and advertising for different

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products. Like it could have been Folgers. I can't remember stuff like that. And it turns

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out we were his favorite. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Unless he listens just to hear what

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he sounds like. And he's probably like, so next time we'll send him one. He'll be like,

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yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. Full CV raises the price on us. Yeah. That's all right. Big

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time me motherfucker. Watch this. So I was wanting to go into a little Aroj talk because

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all this shit is just getting kind of insane. You know, you have a hall of fame quarterback

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that can still get it done. Yeah. Why isn't anyone biting? It just, it must be just a

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weirdness factor. I mean, I'm making a little audio adjustment here. Don't, don't, uh, don't

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adjust your phone. Well, that floor right there, that tile is a little loose if you

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notice. And we'll have to tell Rick about that cause I'm trying to get the mic place.

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We're breaking in a new laptop today too. Yeah. Yeah. So the old laptop just couldn't

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keep up kind of like Aaron Rogers. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Some of our pearls of wisdom

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were getting lost because the computer dropouts. So yeah, yeah. We have a, uh, yeah, the last

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one was particularly horrible because the show doesn't even sound the same on last two

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because there's so much I had to cut out. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's, that's a shame.

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Well, what basically what happens is whenever I cut it out, I have to cut it out to make

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sense. Right. So you, you can't just, so like some little pieces of brilliance in my opinion

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are gone because it's sliced right in the middle of it. And it's like, wait a minute,

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how'd they get to that from here? So it's kind of like, well, I have no choice, but

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to take the whole section out. So no more of that. So that's good. So you have to endure

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this whole miserable show. You don't get anything cut out for you. Really? Yeah. So, um, anyhow,

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Aaron Rogers, I think pretty much shot himself in the foot with his fucking nuttiness. I

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think so too. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut. He won a super bowl. You know,

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he, uh, he's one of the best quarterbacks ever. He replaced one of the greats, greatest

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quarterbacks ever with success. All he had to do is keep his mouth shut and just run

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the course. Yeah. You know, I wonder if like the, the success of Tom Brady got to him or

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Tom Brady was doing it constantly going to super roll after super roll. Now my homes

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is doing it. You ain't maybe he's like trying to just like, I don't know, stay more relevant

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and be more of the, I'm the guy. And that's where the comments came from. You're talking

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about a couple of podcasts ago when he said he declared himself the greatest player to

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ever wear a green Bay Jersey. Yeah. And then he backed off of it a little bit and said,

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oh, well, at least I'm in the conversation. Yeah. I don't even think he, well, top five

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is in the conversation, but the top one, I don't know. There's too many other players

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Brett Favre would take him. Yeah. Brett Favre would take him. Yeah. Uh, Bart star might probably

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warning Reggie white. I mean, there's a lot of people that could automatically just take

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him and be so it's kind of foolish for him to say that given the prestige. There was

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a, a green Bay receiver that was such a partier that when the Packers went to the first super

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bowl to play the chiefs, he was so hung over, he was hiding up in the stands cause he didn't

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want to face coach Lombardi and they found him and dragged him down and made him get

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dressed and made him play. And he had a spectacular game. It may be bad letting the cool could

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have got another super bowl. If you've ever seen that clip of the old retro looking green

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Bay guy who's running, reaching way behind him to grab the ball and then continuing down

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the field. Oh, that guy. That's the guy. Yeah. I, I'm Max somebody or Matt, I think it was

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max somebody. I got, I got to look up his name. He's got that famous picture where he's

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got his arm around the guy's neck grabbing the ball on the other side. I think so. Yes.

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It looks like a, a parody almost because it just doesn't look real. Yeah. Yeah. That guy.

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So he's probably better than Aaron Rogers. Yeah. So I think something that's really bugged

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Aaron Rogers over the years is that he's gotten pretty much all the things he wanted, but

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he can't do it over again. And he really wanted to do all this in a big market. Then that's

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where he Joe, he chose to pick on the jets. Yeah. The giants just signed Jones, Adam Jones.

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Yeah. Adam Pac-Man Jones to Adam guitar player for tool Jones. Oh, the other Adam Jones was,

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was I can't remember. Maybe Adam was not Pac-Man Jones. Yeah. He was Adam too. He was. Okay.

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And it's not a Ron Jones. Aaron Jones is the new guitarist, singer guy that's like come

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out of nowhere. That's a heavy metal. Oh wow. Yeah. I played it. I played some up for you.

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Oh, that's right. Yeah. He sounds kind of Steven Tyler ish, but his guitar is insane.

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Let's see. Okay. So yeah, Rogers has wanted to be in the big market. Daniel Jones is who

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I was talking to. Daniel Jones. Yeah. Daniel Jones. Daniel Jones just got that huge contract

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in New York and they're up there beefing him up. And you go to the New York post or, or

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one of the New York newspapers online and they're showing all these video footages.

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I've been fucking threading the needle and all, oh, Jones looks great. Oh my God. And

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it's like, you guys know they overspent and you're just fucking spinning it. Yeah. Yeah.

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They've, they've got a, they've got to throw the glitter on it. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking

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another thing about Aaron Rogers is something that might make him a little less attractive

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to teams. Merchandising is a huge deal. And the more Aaron Rogers jerseys they sell, the

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happier any team is and happier the NFL is. So teams are probably looking at him and saying,

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he could come here and he could probably help us win, but no one's going to want to buy

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his jersey. Yeah. And that, that's a little factor, but it is a factor. You know, maybe

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that counts, you know, as an extra 750 grand a year you're not making, cause you're not

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selling enough jerseys. I've got a question for you. I've said this before and I firmly

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believe this. Any team that they've set this one person, they're this one person away from

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going to the super bowl will do whatever the hell it takes to get this guy. Yeah. They've

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shown that year after year. And that's how come Lamar Jackson is still sitting is because

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nobody views him as a difference maker. Yeah. How come Aaron Rogers is suddenly that guy

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too? Is it a mental thing? Do you think that all the stuff that he's done cumulative over

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the last three, four years, letting this, this, that wishy washy, not a good teammate,

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I, I, I, me, me, me. Do you think that that has tarnished his reputation so much to where

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people think I don't want that guy on that team because he's a divider. He doesn't bring

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people together. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I agree with that. I was comparing him mentally to

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Tom Brady and the difficulties he brings. Like he forced the team to reschedule a Germany

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game because it wasn't convenient for him. Yeah. But he, but everybody's behind him though.

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Right. That's the difference. Tom Brady did some things to kind of screw up with the team

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and he has some quirks and eccentricities, but Tom Brady's worth it. And you know, Tom

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Brady is going to be worth it with Aaron Rogers. You don't know if he's going to be worth it.

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And I think I would worry that some point in the team, Aaron Rogers will just mentally

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check out and say, you know what? I don't give a crap anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Tom Brady

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reminds me of a, you'll remember this. A lot of you people listening will not remember

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the magical, mystical, mystical burger King. Remember he went hopping around everywhere

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and all these people would follow him, loving him, throwing whoppers at people. That's a,

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that's a fucking what's his name? Tom Brady. He's like, Hey guys, free whoppers. Yeah.

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He's fucking throwing them in the air. People back behind him going, thank you, Tom. I got

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a whopper. And Aaron Rogers is kind of like the old man that get off my lawn, you son

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of a bitch. He's trying to hand out Brussels sprouts on a stick. Yeah. I have a Brussels,

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a kale. He's handing out kale. He's handing out kale on a stick. Same plan. Fuck you old

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man. Brady's fucking throwing out whoppers. That's awesome. Remember the magical, mystical

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burger King and he'd be throwing fucking food out there. Everybody. They'd be fucking following

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him. The only thing is, is funny. Cause everyone of the people that followed him were skinny.

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It's like, wow. It's like, no, you ever been to burger King? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's,

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that was a good, good ploy on their part to make them skinny. So you have a beautiful

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people followed the magic, magical, mystical burger King. Yeah. So yeah, I really do think

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and it's unfortunate whenever you see because I used to admire Aaron Rogers. I used to really

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like him. He is a very intelligent guy. His, his, in my opinion, his mental illness is

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overtaking his intelligence. Oh yeah. Yeah. You will. Yeah. You can be smart and still

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be a whack job. Yeah. Truly. Yeah. And he is really smart. You hear the stuff that he's,

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you know, some of the stuff that he's spoken about before. He's very well spoken. He's

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very well organized. He knows, he knows a lot about a lot of different things obviously.

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Yeah. But the one thing he doesn't seem to know about is humans. True. And he, he reaches

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wrong conclusions and then he totally misreads the situation and the people around him and

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just steps all over his own dick. Yes. And then he looks around like, what's wrong with

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you people when really he's the one who's just done something he should be ashamed of

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or at least not, if not ashamed, then at least recognize that it was the wrong thing to do

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at the time. But he never does. He just blunders on. Let's say he goes back to Green Bay, right?

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No, no takers and they're forced to nothing else. You know, they might cut him. I don't

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know. They could depending on the cap hit. Yeah. I don't think they can. I think the

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cap hits too deep. But they had them. They'd have like, I don't know, they'd be missing

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half their team because they couldn't pay him. So what player was it recently that he

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was out of favor with the head coach and the coach decided to bench him and not only that,

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but he banned him from the team facilities so he couldn't come in and bitched everybody

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or whine and complain. Was that Marcus Allen? Did he ban Marcus Allen from the team facilities?

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Yeah, that too. That too. Yeah. I was talking about what's his name up there? The quarterback.

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Carr? Carr, Derek Carr. Yeah. Wasn't that the one that was like, they just completely

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kicked him off the team? I think it happens more than once. Yeah. I think it might also

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been. It's happened other than Derek Carr too. Matt Ryan and Indy last year. I think they

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told him you're sitting because we can't afford to pick up your option or we don't want you

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to get hurt before we trade you. So you're sitting and don't even bother coming. And

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they never did trade him. Yeah. The new head coach just started starting him again. I know.

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Saturday, the old lineman. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. But yeah, that would be a thing

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that Rogers would do if you brought him back to Green Bay and you didn't make him the man.

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He'll sit on the bench and saw the legs out right out from under you. Oh, he'd motherfuck

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Jordan love every time. See how bad that's undergone? Look at it. He didn't recognize

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that defense. You know I do better than that. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, you don't want Aaron

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Rogers sitting on the sideline as the backup. No, I agree. Yeah. I think that if there's

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no takers, you keep them on the team and ban them. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't let him in the

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facility. It's hard to imagine three years ago, four years ago, Green Bay ever being

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in this position. Isn't it weird how things change? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember what

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it, I mean, the Chiefs have always done well. They've been to the playoffs so many times.

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They're up there with anybody in playoff. Playoff wins. Yeah. Yeah. Being in the playoffs,

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all that because it's seemingly like if they missed a couple of years without being in

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the playoffs, they'd be back. Yeah. But the problem was is they never could get to the

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promised land. Yeah. Or even the championship game for that matter. Yeah. So it's usually

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one and done. Yeah. Now it seems like the tables have switched. I mean, mainly because

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look, man, we got my holds. Yeah. So they also built a team and they built a team. Yeah.

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Andy Reid. Yeah. Andy Reid's a lot to do with that. So, um, so it's like this. Two ass bags

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in a box of Cheez-Its. We'll be right back. Like I stated before, if you believe anything

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we say or think of this podcast anything other than hyperbole, parody, and just plain stupidness,

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you're dumber than us. And that's hard to beat. If a 10 pound bag of shit could talk,

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this is what it would sound like. Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. It's strange

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insults from an alien. Real hilarity. You are just like a cloud. It's a beautiful day

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when you disappear. It's hard to imagine that that happened to Green Bay because Green

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Bay was a perennial winner and they're always mentioned in the conversation for a Super

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Bowl. And they've got the historic weight, you know, it's Green Bay, title town, you

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know, is this their spiral? It could be. This could be where they, they trade places with

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the lions for a while, you know, the lions are surprisingly pretty decent. I mean, sooner

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or later, look at it like this team thrown out of answers. Yeah. It happened in San Fran.

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They had a string of hall of fame quarterbacks. True, true. And then one day it ended. Yeah.

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And ever since then, they've been a quarterback away from going to the Super Bowl. I mean,

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there are some really lean years in there, don't get me wrong, but I mean, the last five

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years, if they'd had the guy, I mean, they probably would have had a Super Bowl or two.

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Yeah. So yeah, every time you change personnel on the field, in the front office, scouting

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department, everything, it's like you're making a photocopy of a photocopy and you do that

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often enough and pretty soon you can't tell what it is you're looking at. And that's kind

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of what's, yeah. Yeah. It's just watering everything down. Yeah, it is. So there are

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no, no dynasties lasts more than the 10 years or so. Yeah. Not really. Yeah. Not really.

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Yeah. So, you know, I mean, I'm not happy about it because of this. I mean, I've always,

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Green Bay has always been a historic organization and always enjoyed seeing them doing well.

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And so many great players have come from that organization and diehard fans. I mean, the

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fans are out there like 30 below just screaming their ass off. I mean, you know, you can't

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help but love it. It's a small, a populated area that gets support from the whole state.

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Yeah. And they do very well. And it's one of those, it's the only team that's community

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owned. Yeah. So I couldn't help but root for them, but it looks to me like they're going

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down a dangerous path now that I don't think there's any way of getting out because Aaron

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Rogers, I think number one, I think Aaron Rogers took too much exception than drafting

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his replacement in quotations. Yeah. Because I think when you start getting up in the mid

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thirties, you have to start talking about injuries. True. And other things too. And

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you also have to start talking about someone behind you learning the ropes, whether they

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do it or not. Yeah. And that's, that's the measure of, of his professionalism if you

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or sportsmanship, if you want to call it that he's willing to do extra to make sure that

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the team is okay after he leaves. Like I'd mentioned many times before, Alex Smith, look

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at his, his legacy is that of admiration in Kansas city. Yeah. Yeah. He, he didn't have

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to do any of that stuff he did to help out Patrick my homes, but he did it cause you

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know, he felt that was what a decent person would do. Yeah. And it, and also the other

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thing is this right here. He, because of that, he has the adornment and the love of an entire

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city forever. He does. And he could come back here anytime and people would be like, Hey

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Alex, love you, man. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody spotted him out at a restaurant, you know,

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half a dozen people would offer to pay for his meal. Yes. Well, Aaron Rogers in green

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Bay right now, they probably tell him to go back to his darkness retreat. Yeah. Don't

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go back to his cave and he just fucking his little hobbit hole in the ground. So anyhow,

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I just wanted to talk to you about that and see what you thought. There's no script or

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nothing on this. I just wanted to get your whole idea on this because it's sad to me.

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Yeah. That this whole thing went down and happened. Yeah. I think there's some miscalculations

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on the part of Rogers and his management team. Yeah. And I'm not even sure if his management

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team had that much to do with this. I'd like to think that a management team would be like,

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yeah, that's not a good idea. And it may be this is all they could keep him from, you

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know, it's like, this is as much damage as we can, you know, keep him from doing. How

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am I, I'm trying to explain it out. They're doing damage control on Aaron Rogers. Yeah.

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No, I got it. I got what you're saying. And his management is like, you know, he did a

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lot of damage, but it was going to be worse if we weren't here to keep a lid on him. Yeah.

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Yeah. I got, I got the way you're coming in on it. I think most people did. It was a long

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drive. We had to drive here this time. It was a long drive. Yeah, I know. And the whole

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thing was, is was that whole mix up with Delta. Yeah. And look, he's switching flights. He's

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like us no longer happy with Southwest. So he's not putting us on Southwest anymore.

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But then when he went to Delta, that overbooking deal and all that wasn't exactly Delta's fault.

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And it wasn't exactly his fault, but we ended up having to drive here. Yeah. Yeah. It just

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wound up easier. It's like, so let's go ahead and drive soon. I have to worry about. Yeah.

264
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow, the weather is kind of questionable around here tonight. Yeah.

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We'll see if the skies break open or not. Yeah. So anyhow, um, all right. I'm pretty

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happy with that. You got anything more you want to add to that or? No, I think I'm too.

267
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All right. Well, you know, in true douchebag fashion, I have another thanks to whisper

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in people's ears randomly. This is good. Oh yeah. So the whole concept of this is pretty

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simple. Someone's walking down the road, looking around, admiring the daisies, you know, whistling

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and all that stuff. You walk up to them and you whisper something in their ear. So the

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stuff that you whispered here could be have a nice day or it could be something that totally

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mind fucks me. Yeah. Well, since this is two douchebags and microphone, it's going to be

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something kind of weird. It could be weird and mind fucking. Yeah. We could run up and

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whisper what Gwyneth Paltrow said after her ski trash trial. She went up to the other

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guy and said, I wish you well in life. And people were saying, okay, that's got to be

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like the worst curse that the anorexic white woman can get. Yeah. There's, there's tons

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of memes already showing her leaning over the sky and whispering, I wish you well in

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life. And then breezing off. She is such a real weirdo. That would be the kind I'd overreact

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on it. Yeah. Now come on. Hold on. Everybody stop. Gwyneth, you come back here. You come

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back here. No, no, no, no, no, no. You come back here. You look me in the eye and you

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say that you look me in the eye and you say that. And just the fact that he was sitting

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down and she swooped over, leaned over his shoulder and set it in his ear and then swooped

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out like a, uh, an albino with.

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There's Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. She was wearing the whole time. I can see her little tiny

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fist out in front of the courtroom. I got him. Good. She'll probably still give them

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25% off all goop products. Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah. The helicopter coming overhead.

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Is that what that is? Cause it's back of me. I can't see. Yeah. I think it's a helicopter

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and there is a gecko in there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh well. Anyhow. Oh, well the number one,

289
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well, there is no number ones on here. There's just shit that you say. Yeah. All right. So

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what's in the trunk? Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Like what's in the trunk? Yeah. Be anything.

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Depends on how you feel sometimes, right? It could be a body. It could be money. Yeah.

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Could be. Could be the pizza you ordered. Yeah. I'm going to go with the pizza I ordered.

293
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That sounds the best. Or money. Yeah. Because with money you could order the pizza. That's

294
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true. Yeah. So this one you'll get, I don't know if a lot of other people will. One, two,

295
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three lock box. Yeah. That took a little thinking there. It's like, will that work or will that

296
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not work? I like that one. I do too. I was pretty happy with that. I'm like, that's good.

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The Red Rocker. Yeah. Yeah. Man, there was like that. Did that come out in the summertime?

298
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It was like everywhere. Yeah. For like for months it was everywhere. A little bit later

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on if we have time, I want to look up, Sammy Hagar was in an article that I read online

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and he said before he joined Van Halen, he got like four or five offers from other big

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groups. Wow. I want him to join. Nice. Yeah. And I thought that was pretty interesting.

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I'm like, wow. Yeah. I mean, why not be very sought out? Great vocalist, guitarist too.

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Good entertainer. Yeah. You can write. The funny thing is, is when he went to Van Halen,

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people were like, there's no room for another guitar. He did just fine. He did. Yeah. I

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mean, you know, he did what he did and he does what he does. You know, he didn't try

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to make himself better, but after Van Halen was over with that, that part of Van Halen

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when he left, he was a better guitarist. Oh yeah. You could hear it. Yeah. I mean, and

308
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that goes around hanging around with greatness. Yeah. You know. And he was no slouch in Montrose.

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No, he was always been a good guitarist. Always enjoyed his riffs. And I think that might

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have been one of the allures besides his voice. Yeah. Bringing him to Van Halen is because

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those catchy riffs, you know, you have that Van Halen doing what he does and then you

312
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got a guy with catchy riffs. So that's good combo. Yeah. It worked out very well. So next

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one, Ginger or Mary Ann? I'm Mary Ann Camp all the way. Always happened. Everybody pretty

314
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much I know was a Mary Ann fan. Yeah. I think Raquel Welch was auditioned for the role of

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Mary Ann. She, well, I liked, what was her name? Donna. Dawn Wells. Dawn Wells. Yeah.

316
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She was perfect for it, but Raquel Welch would have worked too probably. Yeah. Yeah. And

317
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originally the part of Mary Ann, she wasn't a Kansas farm girl. She was supposed to be

318
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like a executive's secretary. Really? Yeah. So they changed it because of the way Dawn

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Wells. I don't know. They probably just changed it and then started looking for the girl next

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door look, which she had in buckets. Well, yeah, it worked out well. It worked out very

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well. But I think they're originally planning for Mary Ann to be this, you know, button

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down uptight woman who, you know, couldn't handle all the disorganized. But then they

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started thinking why the hell is she on a Hawaiian cruise? Yeah. It makes more sense

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for this Kansas farm girl who always wanted to get out. And also, you have the right to

325
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give her that mid drift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the other thing too. Increase the

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sex appeal. Yes. Yeah. So that was probably. Even though she was supposed to be the non-sexy

327
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one. Yeah. She was the sexy one. Oh, way more. Yeah. Ginger was the slut. Yeah, let's face

328
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it. Yeah. She slept with a recasting record. Ginger took worms on the face everywhere.

329
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Here's ginger. You know, if the castaways ever did get rescued, Ginger would have wound

330
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up in porn. Yes, she would have. You know, she would have wound up in porn. Yeah. Yeah.

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So Mary Ann all the way. Yay. Next one. Make it happen. Oh, that's a good one. That's a

332
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good one. You can imagine that. What am I supposed to. Shit. Wait. What if it doesn't

333
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happen? That would be. Yeah. You're like, I hope he doesn't come back when it doesn't

334
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:10,160
happen. Yeah. I guess I don't know what the fuck it is that's supposed to happen. That

335
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one. Yeah. That was like, oh shit, man. My life's over. I'm going to go get my will intact.

336
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That way my loved ones can live. You run up and say, okay, I'll take all of them, but

337
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you got to give them to me right now. That's just like, if you like fucking, you're rolling

338
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out down the window and someone you don't do any more cause you get shot. Yeah. But

339
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seeing someone in a corner, just some guy by himself go, there he is. That's him. That's

340
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fucked. Nowadays you get shot. But back in the day, man, we made many people fucking

341
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run and scream. Yeah. Cry. That goat's a liar. I don't know. Sheep. I know I'm on this goat

342
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thing because of the promo. Honest officer. My sheep is sick and I'm just pushing it to

343
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town. Yeah. The sheep's a liar. What was that old joke? So it said, yeah, and your sheep

344
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:17,360
is a long joke. And he's talking about how your sheep can talk and the guy looks at the

345
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things. Right? It goes, the sheep are liars. Do you remember that one? It's vaguely. Yeah.

346
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It's a long ass joke and it goes nowhere with anything else except the very end where he's

347
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in. Yeah. And your sheep can also talk and he goes, the sheep are all liars. And it's

348
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like, ha. It's like a shaggy dog story where it's a long rambling joke that goes nowhere

349
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full of meaningless details. And then the payoff just isn't really worth it. That's

350
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what that was. Yeah. I forgot what they call that joke. It's a certain type of joke. I

351
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:53,680
know it is a shaggy dog story. Okay. There's another name for it too. Shit, I'll never

352
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get, you know what? We might as well move on. I'll never guess it. Yeah. It's called

353
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not an elitist joke or. Oh well. Well there's the practical joke where you hurt somebody.

354
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Yeah. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I mean, it's like, oh well, fuck it. Okay. Moving

355
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:23,640
on. Next one. The eagle hunts at dusk. It's like, is that code for something? It must

356
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:30,280
be. I got to deliver some with some cocaine? I got to mule some fucking H across the border.

357
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What the fuck? Man, I don't know about this. What would be worse? How come I got to mule

358
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:44,160
it? What would be worse right now? Being mistaken for a drug mule or being mistaken for a spy?

359
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Oh. Both will get you killed pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. Both. Yeah. I think they're about

360
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,560
even up right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's a funny way of looking at it actually. They're both

361
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about even right now. It's like, well, you're going to end up the same either way. So let's

362
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see. Next one. Stay tuned. Just stay tuned. Just stay tuned. That's pretty good. I like

363
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:21,400
that. Okay. All right. I'll be right here. Come back. Let me know. How about you could

364
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run up to somebody acting like you're holding something and you say, quick, hold out your

365
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hand. Just walk off. Oh, you see if they do it. You're like, hold out your hand and you've

366
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:41,200
got your hands cupped. That would be funny. Yeah. That'd be really funny. You're like,

367
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:48,440
ah. Next one. You could go, yeah, that would be funny because you know there's a certain

368
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amount of people just stand there waiting, waiting for a punch line or something. And

369
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like after five minutes, like, I don't think they're coming back. Yeah. Next one. Bring

370
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:08,240
him to me now. Yeah. That's a good one where you can convince the person that you want

371
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something from them. Yeah. What does he want? I was in a weird mood when I wrote all these

372
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because I've been having some back issues. I'm on steroids and I can't sleep very well.

373
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So then instead of getting agitated on steroids, I get like weird headed and I just think weird

374
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thoughts and I try to capitalize on them. Well, yeah, why not? Yeah. It's like, oh,

375
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:39,720
why write out some of this weird shit here? Next one. Chainsaws for children. Really?

376
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:45,320
Email sounds. That would be a good band name. It would be. Yeah. Chainsaws for children.

377
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,880
All right. Any of you metalheads out there, start a band and call it Chainsaws for Children.

378
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:55,120
Yeah. Hey, you want to announce them? Okay. Here I am. Okay. Hey, this is Mark from KFUCK.

379
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Anyhow, we've got a new band coming up. So right here is Christopher. He's going to announce

380
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:05,560
a new band coming straight up. All right. Bang your heads together for Chainsaws for

381
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:20,680
Children. Fuck yeah guys. Let's fucking get it. Next one. Boo. That's it. Just boo. Just

382
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:26,400
boo. Yeah. And by that time, that's just like so stupid. People aren't going to stay there.

383
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:35,920
They're just going to go, okay. Walk off. They're going to stand there and go, yeah,

384
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:46,720
it's worth a try. That's it. This next one I really love. Yeah. I have a fatty liver.

385
00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:53,320
You better go to the doctor. That's not good. That can lead to bad things. Your liver needs

386
00:36:53,320 --> 00:37:05,360
to go on Golo. Yeah. Golo. Golo for livers. This next one's good too because fuck with

387
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:15,040
somebody. Uber is hiring. That's random. Yeah, it is. Aren't they always? Yeah. Kind of all

388
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:19,960
the time. Yeah. But they're still hiring. Like I said. Yeah. Doesn't matter if they're always

389
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:28,440
hiring. Yeah. What I said was correct. They're hiring. So next one. Ring around the rosy.

390
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:40,360
Good. That probably means something in porn. You know. He put a ring around my rosy. Probably.

391
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:51,080
Hey, is that our scones? Is that our scones? Hey. I ordered the bran muffin. Okay. That was

392
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:56,560
my scone maybe. You know we never get served here. We never get served here. They don't want to be

393
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:02,480
on air. They never get served here. We got to take a break and go get our own stuff. You know Rick's

394
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:08,680
probably behind it. Yeah. I think he told him just take our order and then disappear. Yeah. Because the first time we bitch he said just disappear.

395
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:17,440
Yeah. And then we get it as soon as we get off air they'll bring us everything. Uh huh. Oh here's your scones and your coffee. Yeah. Thanks. So here's some clip

396
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:25,640
and him and I just went up to the counter and got him. Yes. Fuckers. Where is Rick anyhow? I saw him earlier. Yeah. He's

397
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:31,920
cleaning out the walk-in. Oh was that what it was? Yeah. I'd go lock him in it.

398
00:38:31,920 --> 00:39:00,920
Alright. Next one. Headbutt. Oh I think I would dodge. Run. I don't want to get headbutted. No thanks. No thanks. This next one I love. How are the training pants working? That's where I turn around and like grab by the hand and go really well. Yeah. They're afraid you're going to like put your hand down and go like this.

399
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:29,920
You're like put your hand down there and see. But you don't. Really well. That's something Robbie Rad would you know he'd probably like to wear training pants and wet them and then take your hand and put them down there. He still wants younger men. Not too younger men. No. Legal age. Yeah legal age like maybe 25 to maybe 37. He wants nudes in his inbox. Yeah. So make sure and make that happen okay. Gorillas, orangutans. Yeah. Yeah.

400
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:52,920
Zebras all welcome. Those red assed apes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those too. Sloth. Sloth. Yeah. Naked sloth. Yeah. You can even draw penises and just like send it to him. He's great. He's game. He doesn't care. So anyhow. Next one. One pill. Hard penis.

401
00:39:52,920 --> 00:40:08,920
I'm sure that's a slogan for somebody's knockoff Viagra. Yeah. Probably. Hey ladies and gentlemen this is Brooke from fucking. I'm the one pill one hard penis guy.

402
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:35,920
Alright. Anyhow next one. This is my favorite. Foreigner with one original member should be called Four. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Foreigner. They take out the rest of them and just go we're Four. Yeah. We're not exactly foreigner. No. We have one. Well and actually Mick Jones doesn't play half of them anyhow. Yeah that's true. He takes time off. Yeah we're foreigner cover band so our name is Four.

403
00:40:35,920 --> 00:41:04,920
I remember Steppenwolf at one point the only original member was John Kay. Yeah but then he left too. Well he died. Well at the time I'm talking about he was touring as John Kay and Steppenwolf. Yes. And I thought well that's not Steppenwolf. John Kay is Steppenwolf. He's the only. So it should have been Steppenwolf with and then whoever the rest of it. But he wanted his name separate.

404
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:18,920
And now he just wanted his name separate. He wanted top billing. John is like you know. Oh. George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble. When did they drop the Delaware Destroyers.

405
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:36,920
I think it was after the second. First or second album. Was it. And then they're just the Destroyers. Yeah. And I think to this day there's still the Destroyers. Yeah. OK. All right. And the last one. This is my favorite. Strippers with tassels are liars.

406
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:55,920
Think about it. They are. Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags. Two douchebags in a microphone invade your ear holes in three two one.

407
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:09,920
Two douchebags in a microphone raw and uncensored. See behind the smoke show. Watch as the douchebags get stung by a scorpion beast. Enjoy one of many coffee houses ordering our heroes out.

408
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:19,920
Watch Mark revisit Clinton Missouri to claim his innocence for all the mad shitter accusations. Act now and get both high quality DVD sets and a free douchebag calendar.

409
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:30,920
Mark off the day with a douchebag looking at you. Supplies are limited so act now. Two monkey fuckers in a toaster will be right back.

410
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:55,920
This is the new espresso line that you can make at home. And this is the exact same stuff. If you make it like the instructions on the side of it. This is what you'll get.

411
00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:07,920
And I'll tell you what. This is a damn good espresso. You had one of them? Yeah I did. It's very good. Very good. Yeah. I've got my scone. You didn't get a scone this time. I got a brand muffin.

412
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:18,920
Oh okay. How are the muffins? I've never had one here. It's really good. Really light. Okay. Yeah. Normally you think a brand muffin is heavy and dense but it's real tasty.

413
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:25,920
Yeah. Alright. I'll try that one next. I like the ones at the City Market Coffee Roasters. They're muffins. I've had theirs before and they're really good.

414
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:36,920
Yeah. But you know I think the brand muffin is about the only one he's got that doesn't have dairy in it. Oh. Oh that's why. Yeah that's why. Okay. Alright. That's cool.

415
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:43,920
Well the scones kind of get you. I know that. The last time you had a scone you kind of scuttled off to the bathroom a couple of times there real quick.

416
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:52,920
Yeah. It was easy. We were talking earlier about what we've seen Pepsi is kind of changing their brand logo a little bit.

417
00:43:53,920 --> 00:44:07,920
Well it started last week with my RC. You know I was talking about how they got Penn State and how they went back to their nostalgic 70's 80's most. Yeah. Their most famous logo. Yeah. The nostalgic one. Yeah.

418
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:16,920
And I bought it. I forgot about it because the distribution's been horrible. You can hardly find it except at major retail grocers.

419
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:29,920
And then like if you have 30 packs of Pepsi and 30 packs of Coke on one side you'll have like one or two RC's in the middle. Yeah. You just barely get it. They don't get much shelf space. Yeah. Yeah they don't have RLA shelf space.

420
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:58,920
When they switch back to their retro it automatically made me want to buy it. Yeah. Even though like I never bought it regularly hardly at all. And just because I could never find it. I could not develop enough of a pattern or a what would you say? Custom. A custom. Yeah. Yeah. You know you get used to oh I'll go get my fountain Pepsi from I don't know Costco.

421
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:16,920
Or something right. Yeah. It's like it has its own every different fountain that they make has a slightly different taste and all that. So you don't have that continuity when you can't find it anywhere. Yeah. So after this nostalgic thing that they did and made me actively seek out RC Cola.

422
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:36,920
You know because I just thought it was cool they brought back the old logo and just got in the habit of finding it and drinking it. Then they get hired by Penn State. So now you're talking about the new Pepsi logo. So yeah it's kind of the it got me thinking how advertising changes.

423
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:56,920
They change logos or designs or sometimes they'll get a new gimmick like Jake from State Farm. It didn't used to be that way. But all of a sudden there's Jake from State Farm and he's their new darling. Well he started out as a white guy in like some office late at night.

424
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:11,920
And some other guy is on the phone to him late at night and the wife's like what are you wearing Jake from State Farm and all that stuff. He went from that and evolved into the guy he is today where. Yeah. Yeah. There was that original run of commercials where everybody was white.

425
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:40,920
Yeah. And then they rebooted it for a Super Bowl to where they had the original people calling in. But suddenly Jake is a black guy. Yes. And he turns to the other person in the call center and says do they sometimes ask what you're wearing. And the guy's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's how they introduced the new Jake from State Farm. So I mean that's an example. Originally Jake from State Farm was an older white guy. Yeah. Now Jake from State Farm is a young guy.

426
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,920
Young muscular black guy. And he's all over the place. Yeah.

427
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:58,920
There was a commercial a long time ago about a little kid who didn't want to eat his certain food. And he had his imaginary friend sitting next to him named Maynard.

428
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:18,920
And his dad was saying you know you should eat your whatever food. And he said you know Maynard's going to have it or Maynard's going to eat it. So then the kid the dad got the kid to eat the food by the dad talking to the imaginary friend as if he was there.

429
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:28,920
So Maynard was the imaginary friend. When that became a successful commercial they did a second one but suddenly Maynard was the little boy.

430
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:39,920
Okay. And he was like he had a pet bear or he had they just like totally changed it.

431
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:49,920
Another one is the Gecko for Geico Insurance. Okay. But what was Maynard for?

432
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:59,920
Well originally Maynard was the invisible friend that the kid was saying you know oh he's he I don't have to eat it because Maynard is going to eat it or Maynard doesn't want it.

433
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:05,920
What was the commercial for? It was like a breakfast cereal. It was for life. Life cereal I think right.

434
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:11,920
Well that was life had Mikey. And then Mikey. Yeah. Oh so maybe I'm getting both tangled. I'm sorry.

435
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:18,920
Right this was this was their version of Mikey. It was a different cereal commercial. Oh that's what it was. That's what it was. Okay. All right.

436
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:35,920
And that's another one when the original Mikey was a little boy who didn't want to eat the cereal and then was and then his older brother no the older brother didn't want to eat it and they conned the little brother Mikey into eating the cereal.

437
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:41,920
Yeah Mikey hates everything. He won't eat it. Then he turns out he likes it and then everyone eats it. Then everybody's Mikey likes it.

438
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:55,920
And then when they rebooted it Mikey was a little blonde girl. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm getting the commercials mixed up. Yeah. Because I thought the life cereal commercial started out with Maynard and evolved into Mikey.

439
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:07,920
No it was Maynard was to compete with Mikey since Mikey worked for the other company. Okay. Another cereal company tried to copy it with Maynard the invisible friend. Do you happen to remember who Maynard worked for? No.

440
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:18,920
Let me see if I can figure this out. Let me see if I can unravel it here. Okay. So studies have indicated to us Malt-O-Mill had Maynard the invisible friend. Yes.

441
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:29,920
And then that was to combat Mikey who didn't like anything. Yeah. And that was life cereal. Life cereal. Yes. Wow. I think we got crop dusted by the people in the booth behind us. That stinks like you would really.

442
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:37,920
This is the third time in this damn fucking. I love the filthy bean but someone has some very bad gas grow intestinal issues around here somewhere.

443
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:45,920
Man if you've ever driven through an area that has a paper mill you know how awful that stinks. That's about like this.

444
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:56,920
A paper mill. Yeah. Yeah. It smells like somebody who's had a paper mill in a chicken house and smoking kale all at the same time. Oh kale.

445
00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:03,920
Look the chicken house and the paper mill yeah but kale. Yeah. Oh yeah.

446
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:16,920
Let's see what other change. Oh the gecko for Geico. Originally the commercial was the phone would ring and the gecko would answer and he was voiced by Kelsey Grammer who did Frasier.

447
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:25,920
Very distinguished well-spoken and he would be explaining no I'm not Geico insurance I'm a gecko you dialed the wrong number.

448
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:31,920
You want Geico which is the insurance company and blah blah blah. Then he'd hang up and he'd go back to what he was doing.

449
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:43,920
And the little animated gecko got so popular they decided OK he's no longer the wrong number. Now he's our spokesman and he has an Australian accent for some reason.

450
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:47,920
I remember all those too when you said that I remember all those.

451
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:56,920
And then let's see flow from progressive. It seems like we're talking about insurance ads a lot. Well a lot of them are.

452
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,920
That's a lot of what I get you know those are the ads that are targeted to me.

453
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:16,920
Flow from progressive was initially she was all by herself and her thing was people would just be talking about her about insurance and she would just suddenly show up inappropriately and creepy.

454
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:22,920
And they're like what are you doing here and she'd be creepy and weird and talk about insurance.

455
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:32,920
But now she's this lovable you know cuddly figure that you would love to have babysit your kids and she's got a whole troop with her.

456
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:41,920
You know the only insurance company the only insurance one that did that would start off as a spoof and is staying a spoof is.

457
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:51,920
Emu, Emu, and Doug. Yeah they started out as a spoof and they still are.

458
00:51:52,920 --> 00:52:01,920
The initial Doug commercials was he and the Emu would run around to make sure you had insurance and specifically if you had Liberty Mutual insurance.

459
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:12,920
And if you did then he ran off and went on to the next thing. Then he turned into he was getting a key from the city for all his work and then they just turned him into an idiot.

460
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,920
Now he goes through car washes telling you how good Liberty Mutual is.

461
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,920
So now he's become the useless useless white guy.

462
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:28,920
We talked about the useless dad trope. Oh yeah well that's the newest progressive one. TV dad.

463
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:36,920
Yeah and now he's turning into useless dad because everything he says the young person looks and rolls their eyes about.

464
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,920
So now he's become the butt of the joke instead of you know the favorite.

465
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:51,920
But TV dad illustrates to me is kind of funny because it illustrates to me like everything's okay if like this lovely figure on TV says it.

466
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:57,920
Yeah. Yeah like TV dad. I think it's funny that they really dressed him up to look like.

467
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:07,920
Huxtable Bill Huxtable from the Bill Cosby show. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah and considering what a what a monster Bill Cosby is.

468
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:16,920
Yeah. Why would they bring up the Huxtable dad. Oh bad choice but apparently it's going over fine so I guess what do I know.

469
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:23,920
But for me it's creepy because I think it's like oh there's the Huxtable guy who drugs women. No that's way all rapes them in their sleep.

470
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:32,920
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree with that and I feel the same way about it. I've never liked it but I don't I don't know.

471
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:39,920
I'll respond well to these commercials that like say very little and just got the ha ha factor anyhow.

472
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:46,920
Doesn't say what they're really about just like oh here's a here's TV dad or here's Doug or here you know.

473
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:54,920
Yeah there is a whole class of commercials where the commercial doesn't tell you a single thing about the product.

474
00:53:55,920 --> 00:54:01,920
In fact a lot of times you'll not even see the product. The commercial is just supposed to make you feel a certain way.

475
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:09,920
Just like in the end with the logo at the end and that's some incident in your mind. Oh I feel nice about them and there's the logo and I'm just going to love them now.

476
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:18,920
We talked about the general having to retract and say their quality insurance company because they were such a parody of themselves.

477
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:25,920
Yeah. That they were taken as a ha ha ha and then it became everyone going oh he's got the general.

478
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:30,920
See someone driving by in an old pinno you go oh he's got the general donate him.

479
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:36,920
And then they got Shaq to do their commercials to try to lay in an era of normalcy.

480
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:42,920
But they were still doing the ha ha. But yeah it's Shaq acting like a total idiot.

481
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:55,920
Yeah so then they had to come back and go oh no no no remember when we threw you out in the desert because you said that the insurance company you know the general was you know a quality insurance company.

482
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,920
Well we found out we're wrong so you can come back to society. And to me it was like.

483
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,920
Yeah right back to being stupid again. Yeah.

484
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:09,920
The commercial saying we're not just a stupid commercial we're actual real insurance company.

485
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:15,920
But we're going to show you a stupid commercial. Right. They try to convince me that they're serious by showing me a stupid commercial.

486
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:22,920
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's like time is time you don't get to do that. Yeah.

487
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:30,920
So what I take from that is they never intended to be taken seriously it was just lip service. Yes.

488
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,920
You know oh look they want to be taken seriously now I feel better about them.

489
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,920
Well to me it's like they're disguising what they're really doing. Yeah.

490
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:43,920
They don't ever tell you that much about how great they are but it's like always a catchphrase or something.

491
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:48,920
You can bet that there's like there's nothing they're doing that's really that great.

492
00:55:49,920 --> 00:56:02,920
You know it's funny the insurance ads never tell you about how great their coverage is or or how they can help you save money or not have your rates go up or no it's just all feel good.

493
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:08,920
It's all feel good. Yep. Yeah. And they know what works. Yeah.

494
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:14,920
If any other way worked they do that. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing is they're doing it for a reason.

495
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:21,920
Do you have any more instances or do you want to go on to that subject that we spoke about a little bit ago.

496
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:27,920
Yeah I think I ran my course on that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it is what it is on those commercials everybody knows.

497
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:32,920
Yeah. OK. So earlier you're talking about Ace Freely. Yeah.

498
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,920
And Paul Stanley running his mouth on some show.

499
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:43,920
Yeah there have been some music festivals recently and Ace Freely has not even been contacted about playing with them.

500
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,920
They just you know don't even give them an opportunity. Well I like the way they spun it.

501
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,920
I mean I don't like it but they made it sound like everybody's invited.

502
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:57,920
Because they said well our last shows are going to Madison Square Garden where we began.

503
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:10,920
And everybody's invited to come by and play. Anybody from Bruce Cooley to let's see Mark St. John and the drummer Eric Carr.

504
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:18,920
You know they passed away so they can't come but any living one including what's his name.

505
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:23,920
Tommy Thayer, Eric Singer. Yeah. Vinnie Vincent. Yeah.

506
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:28,920
Ace Freely, Peter Criss. All of them are invited to come in and play.

507
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:33,920
But they're not talking about payment. They're not talking about schedule.

508
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,920
They're just trying to get this fervor where people are like you know Ace could drop by.

509
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:43,920
He lives in New York or Peter Criss could drop by because he lives in New York.

510
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,920
But probably they won't because they hate them. They hate Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons.

511
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:54,920
But the way they describe it is oh we're just going to be having a good goodbye party and they're invited to come.

512
00:57:55,920 --> 00:58:01,920
If I was Ace I'd come up there and get on stage and go these guys are dirty motherfuckers and here's why.

513
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,920
Yeah they made sure to do it in a completely self-serving way.

514
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:11,920
Exactly that's what I'm saying is they tried to act like oh they can come by. Yeah we love them. Bullshit.

515
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:24,920
Well recently Paul Stanley was on a show talking about some of the dates coming up and who's going to be playing in the band and on stage.

516
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:35,920
And he didn't specifically, well he was talking about, they were talking about Ace Freely and whether he'd be playing and some of the others.

517
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:47,920
And Paul Stanley basically said that if they had Ace Freely playing then they couldn't perform as Kiss.

518
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,920
They'd have to perform as Piss because it would sound so bad.

519
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:58,920
Yeah I, you see. Totally uncalled for.

520
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:07,920
When you see Paul Stanley's Instagram talking about how beautiful life is, he's out on his bicycle with his wife or his kids or his grandkids or whatever.

521
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:15,920
And then he goes around and does stuff like that, it's like which are you? Are you a bitter old man or are you this happy guy that you pose on Instagram?

522
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:25,920
Well he's the bitter old man because the happy guy you see on Instagram is a PR firm who's going out and posing these shots, scripting these shots for him.

523
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:35,920
100% and here's what you're going to say. Paul Stanley's like, okay, hey did you get my gram up with my bike? Yeah yeah we got it up two hours ago. Okay I'll go look at it and see what it says.

524
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,920
Yeah, you're right. Yeah they're posting for him and they're making shit up.

525
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:45,920
He goes and takes a picture of himself on a bicycle in front of a blue screen and then he Photoshopped the rest.

526
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:47,920
Yeah you're right.

527
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:54,920
And every now and then they drop some stuff supposedly from him and it's all happy and glowing and upbeat.

528
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:59,920
So he's a bitter old man. Yeah and he's paying somebody to polish his image.

529
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:09,920
That's what a lot of the social media posts of these people, they have very little control or oversight for what's being posted.

530
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,920
Well they don't want it either. Yeah they're paying somebody else to handle that and that's for them.

531
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:18,920
So I'm going to say, here's what I want. I want 700,000 followers. Can you get me at it? Easily.

532
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:21,920
Yep. And they're in control of it.

533
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:30,920
So to think that Paul Stanley is really doing these things and just taking spontaneous pictures and posting them because that's really how he feels.

534
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,920
He's not sitting there on his smart phone.

535
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:37,920
You've got to be a 9 year old fanboy to think that it's weird.

536
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,920
Yeah he all of a sudden stops on the toll bridge and is like, oh hang on before I go through here.

537
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:52,920
Oh where's my answer in? Okay there I am. Let's see what should I say. Hey everybody, great day, love you guys, see you soon. Paul.

538
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:59,920
And then he gets back in the taxi and goes somewhere else while somebody else cleans up the set, takes his bicycle back home.

539
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:06,920
It's like the home improvement shows where the hosts only show up to drive a few nails for the cameras and then they go away.

540
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:15,920
And the real workers do the real work. Yeah where you see them swinging that big fucking sledge hammer that you know they couldn't lift anyhow.

541
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,920
You get one or two perfect shots of that and then they're done.

542
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:26,920
It reminds me of all the executives and councilmen and everything where they're getting ready to dig for the new building erection.

543
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:32,920
And they are with like fucking basically plastic shovels and there's not a piece of dirt on any of them.

544
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,920
And they're all wearing their hard hats like get the fuck out of here. That is so stupid and fake. Why do they even bother to do it anymore?

545
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:42,920
Everybody views it the same way. You guys are liars. Like strippers with fossils.

546
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:49,920
They have a backhoe sitting right there that churned up the dirt so they can pretend that they're breaking ground. They really aren't.

547
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:59,920
But anyhow, okay so let's see. So anyway so he said piss instead of kiss because of Ace Fraley.

548
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:06,920
And so Ace was on a radio show shortly thereafter. I think it was Howard Stern.

549
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:14,920
And he said I heard what Paul Stanley said and Paul you've got seven days to apologize to me.

550
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,920
A written apology. A very public and written apology.

551
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:25,920
Or a lot of the things I know about you and Gene that I haven't talked about in the past I'm going to start talking about.

552
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:30,920
Because I know a lot of dirt and you know I haven't talked about it because I'm just not like that.

553
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:35,920
But he's expecting an apology and if he doesn't get one he's going Daniel Snyder on their ass.

554
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,920
So was this Howard Stern too? Because Howard Stern had kiss on there.

555
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:46,920
One of them was Howard Stern. I can't really get into it. I don't worry about so much of the details because I kind of want people to go look it up themselves.

556
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,920
I wonder if, here's the way I kind of see it going on.

557
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:57,920
Kiss was Gene and Paul was with Howard Stern and Ace was with Eddie Trunk.

558
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:05,920
That's right. That's right. He said he would go back on Eddie Trunk's program and tell all the stories that he wasn't going to tell.

559
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:14,920
The other two hate him. They hate Eddie Trunk because Eddie Trunk signed on Megaforce Records when he worked for Megaforce Records.

560
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:20,920
Signed Ace Frehley to his first contract outside of Kiss. They've been best friends ever since.

561
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:25,920
And because of that Paul and Gene refused to go on his show and they hate Eddie Trunk.

562
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:34,920
So it's been this big thing and that's why I asked that because that's going to be interesting because here's why.

563
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,920
Eddie Trunk will let him come back on there and will let him say what he wants.

564
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,920
And you think Sirius XM is going to stop it? No they're not.

565
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:48,920
No. If that was Ozzy they would stop it. And here's why.

566
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:53,920
Because Ozzy they pay for Ozzy Boneyard and they have influence.

567
01:03:53,920 --> 01:04:00,920
Kiss does not. It's going to be pretty interesting because I kind of hope Paul does not apologize.

568
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:03,920
I want to hear those things.

569
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:08,920
Gosh airing their dirty laundry in public.

570
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:17,920
And for all we know they may have all gotten together and they're going to do like four last shows and they say hey let's start a big fucking rivalry.

571
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:24,920
Then I'll say we settle it to last minute. And then we're going to have our four shows with the original four.

572
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:27,920
We're all getting played. Could be.

573
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,920
Wouldn't be the first time. I'm not saying that's what it is.

574
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:36,920
But remember I posed the question. It could be.

575
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:38,920
Yep.

576
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:46,920
So anyhow here here you ever hear about this Fizzling Dating.

577
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:55,920
No. This is like all the rage now. Like this is like the new term when the new terms and this is the thing that people do now and it's kind of like.

578
01:04:56,920 --> 01:04:59,920
At least for the next five minutes. Yeah yeah until they find out some new thing to jump on.

579
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:02,920
And eat their next Tide Pod. Yeah yeah.

580
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:04,920
Boy those things are delicious.

581
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:09,920
Allegedly can't even say that anymore. Some kid fucking gobbled one down.

582
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:12,920
Well the two douchebags do it.

583
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:22,920
But it's telling that Tide decided instead of making the Tide Pods unattractive they just decided to make the package harder to get into.

584
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,920
They could have made those Tide Pods ugly to children and nobody would want to eat them anymore.

585
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:31,920
Instead they decided to make it more harder for you to get into.

586
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:35,920
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow. Yep. That's the way it is.

587
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:42,920
Okay. Fizzling Dating. Fizzling Dating is a new term for when a relationship is kind of stalling.

588
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,920
A person starts to put in less and less effort.

589
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:50,920
Such as a couple going out maybe once every week. Maybe calling every few days.

590
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:56,920
So Fizzling would not be you know would not calling at first for a week or so.

591
01:05:56,920 --> 01:06:00,920
Maybe going out on an actual date every three weeks. Yeah.

592
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:05,920
And this keeps up until all parties just stop altogether. Therefore Fizzling out.

593
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:13,920
Yeah. Probably the person who doesn't want to date anymore has an issue with confrontation or hurting people's feelings.

594
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:19,920
Yeah. So it's called just kind of like letting off the gas slowly.

595
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:26,920
Yeah. It's kind of like the pot of boiling water that you posed about the frogs.

596
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:31,920
Where you just turn up the heat gradually. I think it's like in reverse.

597
01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:35,920
It's like the romantic version of quiet quitting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good way.

598
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:39,920
Where you like put in less and less effort until they fire you.

599
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:46,920
And then when they get tired of not being the subject of anything and they made the decision to quit seeing you.

600
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:50,920
So you feel good about it. But really actually the other person did it.

601
01:06:51,920 --> 01:07:03,920
Yeah. Yeah. There's a there's a long history of entertainment that uses that plot device of getting the other person to break up with you because that serves your purpose.

602
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:11,920
Either because you don't want conflict or you have a financial gain if they break up the relationship or whatever.

603
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:18,920
Yeah. They've used that over and over is how do you get a person to break up with you and make it make it make them think it was their idea.

604
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:23,920
Yeah. So I guess that's the latest term. It's a common phenomenon.

605
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:31,920
So it's interesting there. Some of these are they're making up words for things that are new things that people are doing.

606
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:39,920
Yeah. Well this is it's been around a long time where you start backing off and backing off and backing off.

607
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:49,920
And then the person either gets angered and does something stupid and calls you a bunch of names and then you have the right to leave or they break up with you and which are off the hook.

608
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:58,920
Anyhow. But either way it's not on you when you talk about it or if you try to you could point and go well they're the one that called me up called me a fucking cocksucker.

609
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:15,920
Then everyone looks them go well it was your fault. Right. Right. Yeah. So you know it's a fine line to walk because if you get there was a movie called How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days that kind of explored that is where the girl was trying to get the guy to break up.

610
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:28,920
And she was doing just the most outrageous things that would scare most people off of a relationship. But she didn't realize that this guy had also made a bet that he could keep the relationship.

611
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:38,920
So the girl was like I've got a bet where I can make this guy break up with me within 10 days. He was using a bet that he could keep the relationship going.

612
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:48,920
So yeah. So the worst things that she kept doing to him the more he would just take it and say I want this relationship to work.

613
01:08:49,920 --> 01:09:05,920
She bought him like this little tiny dog and made him take it for walks and she'd crash his football watching party and just just absolutely every cliche of being the annoying romantic partner.

614
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:18,920
So that was an entertaining version of it. Yeah. That's cool. But it's interesting that people keep coming up with new terms for the same old thing.

615
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:26,920
Yeah. Well that's it too. You know when we were younger. So we just called it M.I.A. Missing in Action. Yeah.

616
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:36,920
It'd be like well what's going on with you and so and so M.I.A. Yeah. It's like well and you didn't have to describe who started the Missing in Action or nothing.

617
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:48,920
It's just like Missing in Action. Yeah. Not happening for whatever reason. Just not going on. Yeah. So yeah yeah. I thought that was pretty interesting when I saw that term today. I'm like hmm.

618
01:09:48,920 --> 01:10:03,920
Anyhow that struck me the other day when I mentioned that newspaper from 1962 that I saw and there was a comic in there were some some young men look like you know 18 to 20 somewhere in that range.

619
01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:17,920
Definitely not long hair or anything but they were using some kind of hippie slang terms like so they use the term tune in is like you know hey man let's tune in.

620
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:29,920
Yeah that is interesting. Yeah. Because you'll see a guy of that age back then using that. Yeah. But I started thinking the hey man came from the hipster movement in the 50s.

621
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:39,920
And then the tune in part that came from the generation that grew up with radio and TV because you would tune in to the radio station.

622
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:48,920
That's also where they came up with the term is like you know he and I are on the same wavelength because that's what you do when you're communicating by radio.

623
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:58,920
You and the other person tuned to the exact same wavelength and then you communicate. That's true. So that was all you know radio and TV was brand new and was the cool thing.

624
01:10:59,920 --> 01:11:10,920
So the slang developed around that. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I never thought about like that. I think anymore all the cool slang terms have probably already been used.

625
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:20,920
So now it's just come up with something that's odd and weird and memorable. Well yeah like fizzling. Yeah. Yeah it's like fizzle out. Or goblin dating.

626
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:30,920
It's like yeah okay they didn't need to use that term. No. You know they just wanted to be memorable. Or goblin mode. Yeah. When you go around and eat everything.

627
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:40,920
Yeah. I got a little something here. Let's go ahead and just we'll be right back.

628
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:04,920
Chumps. It's all yours. Two douchebags and microphone dot net is up and running.

629
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:12,920
It's been running. Hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

630
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:31,920
Hey where do they go. Where are the douchebags. Oh my god someone took a dump in the corner. Oh geez.

631
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:37,920
Glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. Man that smells.