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Live from the historic River Market District in downtown Tennessee, Missouri, from the

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banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River, it is Two Douchebags

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and Microphone Podcast.

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TwoDouchebagsandMicrophone.net, your one stop for everything douchebaggery.

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when we go live you can call in. All of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and

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eye holes. You got it chumps. It's all yours. TwoDouchebagsandMicrophone.net is up and running.

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Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.

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Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Oh shit. What's that over there? Oh no. It's

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an island of horrible jokes.

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I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up. I guess we're not going to

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work out.

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Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

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Alright, I was going to say, I wish they would have given Trask a chance down there.

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Isn't that the guy that Brady kind of anointed?

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So he studied under Brady for what, two years down in Tampa. We spent, I want to say a third

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round draft pick on him. So I'm like, man, he's got somebody that high. I mean, give

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the kid a chance. He did great in Florida.

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Is there any chance of competing? Are they going to compete? Did they anoint Mayfield?

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He definitely has a job.

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You know what? I don't know how well they're going to do. I think they're going to give

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it a shot. I don't think they're going to try to tank for a draft pick or anything like

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that. Just because we still have Evans. We've done some good re-signings. I don't know.

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We'll see.

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I think at this point, they want to have a winning season to get everyone excited again.

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And Baker Mayfield kind of gives them a better chance at a winning season.

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I think so.

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He's kind of a bridge player.

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I think so.

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Yeah, he's not the guy long term, but for right now, let's get the town excited again,

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and then we'll find the guy.

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You know, that's another thing too. That puts butts in seats or keeps butts in seats.

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Yes. Though, you know, there is rumor of Lamar Jackson also going to Tampa.

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Now let me ask you this.

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That would be a weird one.

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The price he's asking, do you want him?

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No.

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Exactly. How can you give a guy that much money when 40% of the time he's not on the field?

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I mean, I'm excited to see what Mayfield does, but I kind of wish we would have just given

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Chast the chance. I think he was a good understudy.

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Yeah.

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You know, well, you know, the few games he played were so-and-so.

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Well, it's like, yeah, because the guy's been riding the bench.

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You have to get him there, get him the reps, let him practice with first team, see what he does.

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Yeah.

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Just my thought.

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Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

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Are you from Tampa?

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What's that?

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Bradenton.

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Bradenton, okay.

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Yes.

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All right, I got one question for you because you fit the demographic.

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All right.

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Bubba or Kelta?

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So who?

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Bubba or Kelta? Mike Kelta or Bubba the Love Sponge?

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There seems to be two dividing lines down here.

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So back in the mornings, I used to listen to Bubba the Love Sponge.

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Me too. I'm still a fan. I still listen.

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Yeah, I used to. Yeah, and Ned.

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Yeah, Ned was fucking awesome.

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That's the one thing that bothers me is, I mean, there's no more Ned or Manson.

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Well, I mean, those guys, they really were pushing the limits there.

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Well, and they kind of ran the cruise too.

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You know, the Hogan thing.

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Yes.

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And then the pig roast.

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Yeah, the pig roast is really what got him.

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Yeah.

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He always put the prison over us.

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Yeah.

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That was awesome.

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Yeah, I like to look on your face when I say that. Oh shit, this guy does know.

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Yes, yes.

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And then what about MJ? You think he's a sniveling little bitch or what?

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Oh, uh.

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MJ Kelly or Josh.

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I like that better when it's MJ and BJ in the mornings.

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And BJ, yeah.

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BJ, he's in Denver.

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He does a really good show there, man.

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If you get a chance, let's do him on the internet. He's still funny.

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I will. I will. I'll check it out.

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Have a good one, guys.

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Mark.

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Pleasure talking to you guys.

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I'll see you.

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Hey, if you get a chance, check us out.

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I will, yeah.

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Send me a message, man. Let me know what you think.

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We want your critiques.

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If you don't like, we want to hear it.

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No, I'll listen.

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If you like, we want to hear it.

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Absolutely.

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We want to read our criticisms on the podcast.

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Yes, we want it.

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We can't get to them quick enough.

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Nice.

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Yeah. I have a very good way of butchering the English language like Bubba does.

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Ah, you know.

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I think I learned from the best.

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Nobody's perfect at it.

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No, I love it.

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I wouldn't change it.

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That's right.

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Yeah.

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Guys, have a good one.

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You too.

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Take care and good luck to you guys, man.

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Hopefully we'll see you guys.

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Appreciate it.

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Thank you, guys.

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Take care.

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Have a good one.

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All right.

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I'm going to go get our drinks and...

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It's going to be a...

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All right.

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Coming at you live and somewhat unorganized and spontaneous and spur of the moment.

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We had a fun little talk with somebody.

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That was really cool.

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I mean, it...

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It thought him a couple of curveball there was cool too.

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Yes.

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Yeah, because I mean, I've been a fan of Tampa Radio for a long time.

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I love the Tampa area.

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Like one of my very favorite shows was Spawned.

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Well, I mean, he was everywhere, but his notoriety came from Tampa.

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Oh my gosh, we're four minutes in.

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We haven't introduced ourselves.

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Oh, two douchebags.

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And a microphone.

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Mark.

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And I'm Topher.

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All right.

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Well, we're getting after it like a fucking starving dog on a fucking piece of hamburger.

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Yes.

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All right.

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We're on it like stink on cheese.

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Yeah.

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We're on it like stink on Mrs. Golfingston or Ms. or whatever, or Ms. or whatever.

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We're on it like the rubes and idiots and suckers are flocking to Trump.

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Ms. Golfingston, four million worth already.

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Ms. Golfingston is the voice that you hear around here when there's no one around just

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fucking screaming and yelling at the walls.

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That is Ms. Golfingston.

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Yeah.

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She may be a poltergeist or she may be a homeless woman.

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I think that you and I-

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You have to just come down here and find out.

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I think you and I bore each other so bad that we came up with this character spontaneously

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of our own mind.

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Yeah.

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And I think it's manifested itself audio, audially on the podcast.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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I remember her on the podcast and nobody else does and like, oh, they're joking.

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Oh, you're right.

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We probably hear her and see her, but nobody else does.

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Nobody else does.

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They're like, oh, those two-

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Oh, I get it.

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Those two jokesters.

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Oh, man.

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Gosh.

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Those two stricts and tricksters.

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Gee, we are in a bad way, aren't we?

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Yeah, we are.

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So anyhow, you had a subject that we both were kind of like raised our eyebrow.

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We Joe-lorinated.

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Got our eyebrow up going, hmm.

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So the floor is yours, Topher.

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Alrighty.

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We were talking on the way down.

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We do kind of a warmup on the way down to get ourselves into podcast mode because normally

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we're a lot more incoherent than this, believe it or not.

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But we were talking about something that I saw the other day in a dollar store.

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A customer went to a store employee and complained that somebody was vaping marijuana in the

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store and she didn't like it.

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She wants something to be done about it.

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And the store employee said, ma'am, I'm sorry, but it's legal now and there's nothing we

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can do.

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And the customer complained a couple more times and the employees said, I'm sorry.

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It was just, yeah, there's nothing I can do.

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Nothing.

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Yeah.

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Now, strictly speaking, yeah, there's something they can do.

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They can ask the person to stop.

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They can ask the person to leave.

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But I am dead sure that the local police department has already told store owners and business

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owners, don't bother to call us if somebody's smoking weed in your store.

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We don't have the resources to come out and chase someone out just for lighten up.

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Yeah.

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So in that way, yeah, there's nothing that the store could do about it because the police

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won't respond.

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Yes.

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And the store employees certainly have no authority to physically remove somebody from

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their store.

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Yeah.

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So I guess you do just kind of put a have to put up with it.

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Well, okay.

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Number one, let's say there's a guy two blocks away with a knife.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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And there's one cop, which mainly, I mean, this happens all the time because of the resources

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that you aforementioned.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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So and there's a guy vaping.

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Who do you want that cop to go after?

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Guy with the knife?

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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You can't you have to pick and choose.

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Prioritize.

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Prioritize.

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Some some guys smoking a vape.

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Get away from him.

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Yeah.

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Walk the other fucking way.

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Other than that, it's petty and stupid.

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Don't even bother.

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It's nothing.

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Really?

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You know, if we had like hundreds of cops sitting around just waiting for something

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to do, then yeah, go ahead and call.

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But the fact is that they don't there aren't enough police to respond to what's going on

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right now.

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Mm hmm.

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So if someone is free painting your wall, well, that's a shame, but the police aren't

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coming.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You know, someone smoking weed in your restaurant, police aren't coming.

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No.

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And get used to that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's just like if you walk outside and someone threw a couple of bags of garbage on your

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lawn, go pick it up.

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Yeah.

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No one's going to come out and no.

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No police report.

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And if that's not okay, then vote to spend more money on the police department.

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Exactly.

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Or we're getting what we're paying for.

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Or rattle city council and that other guy and the idiots at large rattle their cage

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enough to where they fucking do something about it and spend more money on the police

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budget instead of turning it down like they did a week ago.

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And if you don't believe me, look it up.

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All the information is on the internet.

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And if they don't like it being specifically to the police, then maybe do something about

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mental health with that money.

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Don't just deny it.

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So maybe you guys need to check on who you fucking hired to do your job.

258
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:36,320
This is kind of our mantra here is don't take our word for it.

259
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,560
Go look it up.

260
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,560
Yes.

261
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,080
And if you don't bother to look it up, you deserve what you get.

262
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,080
Pretty much.

263
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,320
And you get a two hour response time to a shooting.

264
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,320
That's what you get.

265
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,320
Pretty much.

266
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,320
Yeah.

267
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,120
And if you don't think crime is the main problem in Kansas City, you're an idiot and go live

268
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,920
somewhere else.

269
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,520
There was a public service announcement the other day that really brought this home to

270
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,440
me.

271
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:05,240
It showed a guy, just an average looking hipster dude, and he started out by doing that IRS

272
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,240
scam.

273
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,660
He's looking right in the camera and he goes, you know, I'm from the IRS and you owe a lot

274
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,660
of back taxes.

275
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:16,000
IRS agents are on the way to your house to arrest you unless you start paying me in gift

276
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,480
cards.

277
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,200
And then he stopped and he said, would you believe that?

278
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:25,520
But millions of Americans last year fell for that scam or one like it.

279
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:26,960
You know what?

280
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:32,280
And then he said, I'm sorry man, go ahead, I'm sorry.

281
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:39,640
He said one in six Americans last year were scammed or had their identity stolen.

282
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,360
And then he said, would you believe that?

283
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,580
You shouldn't, I just made that up.

284
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,360
You're pretty gullible, aren't you?

285
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,720
And that's when the spot ended.

286
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:52,840
And I thought, wow, that's a perfect example because you get one of those serious looking

287
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,560
PSAs and people believe anything they say.

288
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,120
You shouldn't even believe those.

289
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,920
That's why we say look it up yourself because you're going to find out that and a whole

290
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,120
bunch more fun stuff when you look it up yourself.

291
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:10,200
If you're taking someone else's word for it, then you get what you get.

292
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,200
Exactly.

293
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,200
Yeah.

294
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,200
And the thing is, here's another thing too.

295
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,080
You go to these news outlets and then you can like, you'll see CNN and Fox News.

296
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,600
They'll have the same piece with two different results.

297
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,600
Oh yeah.

298
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,600
Yeah.

299
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,600
Yeah.

300
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,000
Like let's say it's a poll.

301
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,960
However they do these things, they find a way to swing it in their favor somehow.

302
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:29,960
Yeah.

303
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:30,960
And that's what they post.

304
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,040
Manipulate the margin of error.

305
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:37,520
This is why more than ever you need to go look this stuff up for yourself.

306
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,080
And if you don't, you deserve what you get.

307
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:47,560
I kind of think it is starting to swing that way where people are less likely to pay attention

308
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:53,080
to established authority figures or information sources.

309
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,080
Yes.

310
00:12:54,080 --> 00:13:00,120
But we're also, as a society, seem to be way more easily swayed by temporary fans.

311
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,200
I've got a step further to take this subject, okay?

312
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,200
Yeah.

313
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,200
All right.

314
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,840
Now, COVID, during the COVID years, restaurants are going out of business left and right.

315
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:16,880
And not just because of lack of food sold, but more so the lack of bar patronage.

316
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,880
Yes.

317
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:26,400
The bar really made them cross the line from red to black because of bar sales.

318
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,200
There's so much of a markup in liquor and alcohol.

319
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,480
Oh yeah.

320
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:36,280
So when these restaurants lost their bar business, in-house bar business, they were screwed.

321
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,760
So then Missouri, now Kansas did it, but I don't know why they waited so long to do it.

322
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,720
All of a sudden COVID's effectively over as everybody sees it.

323
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,960
Everybody's back to normal.

324
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:47,960
It's not what it used to be.

325
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:48,960
Yeah.

326
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:49,960
To put it that way.

327
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,800
It doesn't hold the same power or whatever.

328
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:58,560
So okay, anyhow, now they're like, okay, you can grab a drink and take it home from the

329
00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,560
bar.

330
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:03,400
So when Missouri was designed to help the restaurant industry out so they don't all

331
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,400
go out of business.

332
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,400
Yeah.

333
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,400
Golf and Steen alert, Golf and Steen alert.

334
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,400
Oh, hot dog.

335
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,400
Yeah.

336
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:13,600
So yeah, that was a big way to...

337
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,600
Does anyone hear that?

338
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,600
Call in and let us know.

339
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,400
Yeah, we heard it, but I don't know if anyone else.

340
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,680
I don't think anyone else did.

341
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:28,640
So yeah, we went through a period of utter, strict, zero tolerance, maximum penalty for

342
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,520
everything, no exclusions, no exceptions.

343
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:36,520
This will destroy your life kind of, but now we seem to be easing out of that.

344
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,520
Yes.

345
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,520
It's going.

346
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,520
Yeah.

347
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:40,520
Okay.

348
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:46,120
So when I was growing up, me and the kids, the rest of them, we're all like, I don't

349
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,320
know, maybe 18, 19.

350
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,040
If we're lucky, someone was 20.

351
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:54,240
You could get 18 beer after 18 in Kansas.

352
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,240
I just got to cut on.

353
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,240
Yeah, three to beer in Kansas.

354
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,240
Yeah.

355
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,800
Where they couldn't cut me off, but everybody after that, they could.

356
00:14:58,800 --> 00:14:59,800
Yeah.

357
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:04,320
So until I was 21, I got to enjoy 18 year old 3.2 Piskwater.

358
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,760
Drink enough and you get buzzed.

359
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,200
Yeah, you got to drink and drink and drink and drink to get a buzz.

360
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,200
But we did.

361
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,480
And you got hydrated at the same time.

362
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:12,480
Yeah, yeah.

363
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,480
It was great.

364
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,480
Yeah.

365
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,200
Cause there's enough water content and it didn't mess up anything.

366
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:23,720
So we would be out on the back road slamming these things and fucking doing stupid shit.

367
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,440
Someone taking a piss, we'd act like we're running them over or fucking take off on them.

368
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,440
All that good stuff.

369
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:32,440
Dreaming we had a couple of girls to come drink with us, but that would never happen.

370
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,440
They knew better.

371
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,440
No.

372
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:39,040
But anyhow, we're out there fucking getting as smashed as you could on 3.2 and all of

373
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,880
a sudden the county mountain would come by.

374
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:41,880
Oh yes.

375
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,880
Yeah.

376
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:43,960
They're like, oh shit.

377
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:50,120
So anyhow, we're, you know, oh fuck, that's so and so, that's fucking Roy.

378
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,120
He's meaner now.

379
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,640
What are you boys doing?

380
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,640
So you knew them.

381
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,640
You know who was who.

382
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,160
Where'd you tell your dad was?

383
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,640
Where'd you tell your dad you were?

384
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,640
Bowling.

385
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,640
Oh yeah?

386
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,640
You want me to give him a call?

387
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:03,640
No.

388
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,640
I don't have fucking beer.

389
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,640
All right.

390
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:06,640
Who's driving?

391
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,640
I am.

392
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,840
Let me look at you son.

393
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:09,840
That's right.

394
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,520
They check out one of you and make sure you were somebody was decent enough to drive.

395
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:13,520
No, no, no.

396
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,520
You're not driving anymore.

397
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,520
He's driving.

398
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,520
You got a license?

399
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:17,520
All right.

400
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,520
Okay.

401
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,520
Let me see it.

402
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,520
You're driving.

403
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,520
Okay.

404
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,520
All right.

405
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,040
Now you guys going straight home and I'm going to, they either, it depend on whether the

406
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040
cop drank or not.

407
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,560
If the cop drank, it went in his trunk.

408
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:32,120
If he didn't drink, it went on the ground.

409
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,480
I forgot that part.

410
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,240
A lot of times if you knew they drank, they'd be like put that in my trunk.

411
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,240
I'm going to dispose of it later.

412
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,600
And we'd all be like, yeah, down your tote.

413
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,120
You want to go to jail?

414
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,480
Do what you want to with it.

415
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,480
It's fine with us, sir.

416
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,480
That's awesome.

417
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,480
Yeah.

418
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,480
So.

419
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,480
Yeah.

420
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:57,120
From my side in the mid to later seventies, we had the same thing where the cops would

421
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,600
find us partying somewhere.

422
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:03,200
We didn't make a report out, but of course we had a lot more weed too.

423
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,160
But nobody ever got arrested.

424
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,160
Nobody ever went to jail.

425
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,160
It was, they.

426
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,160
Oh yeah, bag is shake.

427
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,600
They do the same thing.

428
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,600
Yeah.

429
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,520
They just, they just have you dump it out.

430
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:20,200
If you had a pipe or a bong or something, they'd break it or, or smash it or something.

431
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,240
They basically ruin your night.

432
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,240
Yeah.

433
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,160
But that was as far as it ever went.

434
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,160
I think if they started catching you like every weekend, the same guys over and over,

435
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,120
then they'd probably do something about go, Hey, one more time.

436
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,120
Yeah.

437
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,120
Yeah.

438
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,920
And then it, then it turned into zero tolerance.

439
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:42,120
Everybody's getting arrested for everything and getting the maximum penalty for everything.

440
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:51,240
So it's nice that we seem to be kind of sliding back towards give people a break, let people

441
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:59,680
make mistakes without destroying their entire existence, which I get, I can get with for

442
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:07,240
every angry, self righteous person demanding justice and punishment.

443
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,920
You've probably got a dozen people who were saying, you know, I've done that too and got

444
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:17,000
away with it by the grace of God, or I got caught once and I got off easy.

445
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,680
So I'm okay with giving people a break.

446
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,280
I'm glad to see us going back that direction.

447
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:31,560
It's, it's never been a good idea to try to jam everybody into a single set of rules that

448
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:37,880
it's either this or that, you know, yes or no, on or off for everybody.

449
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:42,360
Not everyone fits into the, into the same pattern.

450
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:46,880
So you need a legal system that is able to treat people with discretion.

451
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,880
Yes.

452
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,040
Instead of, you know, first offense, life in prison.

453
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,040
Okay.

454
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,040
Now, it sucks.

455
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:57,280
There's this right here, the first whiplash effect.

456
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:01,440
And I'm not arguing any of this, but you know, families and children are being killed by

457
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:06,120
drunk drivers that obviously could have gotten a ride home somehow or else or stay where

458
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,120
they were at.

459
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,240
And I agree with that completely.

460
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,240
Then mad came out.

461
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,240
Yeah.

462
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,240
Mothers against drunk driving.

463
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,240
Mad did did.

464
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,240
Yeah.

465
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,240
Mad did did.

466
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,920
So mad did did became a huge influence as well.

467
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,960
They should have, because if that happened, me or a loved one, I'd be, I'd be mad as

468
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,320
hell too, mad did did as hell too.

469
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,320
So yes.

470
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,940
So now what we're having is, is that our resources are too thin.

471
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:35,080
So we're sorry, we're going to have to go back to the, we got to have some tolerances

472
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:41,280
because our prison systems, our jail systems, our court systems are clogged up and we have

473
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:46,740
no hope of keeping up with the stuff that like is, you know, the violent crimes.

474
00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:50,600
So now it's kind of like, and I mean, it's not quite like it is now.

475
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,320
People was blatantly smashed and like driving all over the place.

476
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,140
Yes, they will go to jail.

477
00:19:56,140 --> 00:19:59,240
But if someone's had a, let, let me put it like this.

478
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240
Okay.

479
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,240
Mr. Rogers.

480
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,240
Yeah.

481
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,240
No, no, no relation to Aaron.

482
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,840
No relation to Aaron that we know of.

483
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,840
Yes.

484
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,840
Okay.

485
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,840
No priors.

486
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,840
He goes down to Mexican restaurant.

487
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,360
It's Sunday afternoon and everybody wants burritos.

488
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,800
And they're like, Hey man, will you go down to let's say margaritas, go down to margaritas,

489
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
get us all burritos.

490
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:24,360
And I don't know, maybe some of that fucking queso dip and I don't know, maybe, you know,

491
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,360
so okay.

492
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,360
All right.

493
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,840
So Mr. Roger is Rogers is there.

494
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:29,840
Okay.

495
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,440
And he's like, yeah, you know what?

496
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,440
I think I'll take a margarita to go.

497
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,760
And he plans on drinking at home, but you know, sometimes things don't work out.

498
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:38,760
Right.

499
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:39,760
So he's like, you know what?

500
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,960
I'm going to take a, I'm going to take a little drink of it here.

501
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,640
And he ends up drinking about half of it.

502
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,640
Mr. Rogers swerves to avoid a squirrel.

503
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,360
Mr. Cop behind him sees Mr. Rogers swerving to avoid the squirrel.

504
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:58,120
And then anyhow, so he gets stopped.

505
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:03,860
So the cop comes up there and he's like, yeah, okay, Mr. Rogers, no priors, nothing, model

506
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,960
citizen family at home.

507
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,160
And he has one margarita to go with half of it drunk.

508
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,160
And he's obviously not drunk.

509
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,480
And he told the officer, man, you know what?

510
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,880
I swerve to avoid a squirrel.

511
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:20,320
We're going to let him go because number one, he wasn't doing anything really that wrong.

512
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,320
He wasn't drunk.

513
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,320
He wasn't trashed.

514
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,600
He's not habitual.

515
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,560
So the stuff like that is going away.

516
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,600
Plus it costs everybody a lot of money to follow up on those charges and make it, you

517
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,280
know, do it all officially.

518
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,200
And strictly speaking, law enforcement and the court system doesn't want to spend the

519
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,760
money on a guy like that.

520
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:41,760
They really don't.

521
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,000
And I don't want to spend the money on a guy like that either.

522
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:51,040
So I think it's become more about changing public opinion and tolerance about these things.

523
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:56,680
And the courts and the justice system are breathing a sigh of relief that, you know,

524
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:01,240
thank God, because the American public has been making us enforce these super strict

525
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,800
laws and we just can't anymore.

526
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,040
If you tell everyone, throw your trash in that hole in the ground and the hole fills

527
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,200
up, you can't keep telling them, throw your trash in that hole in the ground.

528
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,600
But we're putting all these people in jail and there isn't any room anymore.

529
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,600
No spots.

530
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,360
Yet we keep flooding the jails with more and more people.

531
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:24,440
Why don't we change something so we don't put so many people in jail?

532
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:29,280
We need to prioritize what really needs to stop and what we can live with.

533
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:34,800
Yes, like the people harassing influencers, those probably should go to a little, I don't

534
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,000
know, a hero camp?

535
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,000
I think so too.

536
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,840
Yeah, I think so too.

537
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,480
And the people promoting kale, they probably should go to like Death Valley.

538
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,040
Oh, whoever, okay.

539
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,360
Anyone caught having anything to do with kale, number one, check their hard drive.

540
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:54,160
Number two, just go in and throw them in prison because they do not need to be out on society.

541
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,320
That's one thing that we cannot allow.

542
00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,480
And chances are if they're really into kale, they're not really from this planet anyway.

543
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,480
No, no.

544
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,520
Number one, they're easily implemented.

545
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,320
Hey, you want to talk or anything?

546
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,320
I see you laughing.

547
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,320
I saw the sign.

548
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,320
Okay, that's cool.

549
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,320
Is that a song?

550
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,320
I saw the sign.

551
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:11,320
I saw the sign.

552
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,320
No, I'm sorry.

553
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,320
Okay.

554
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,320
Everything reminds me of the song.

555
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,320
Who sang that shit?

556
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,760
It was, I'm hearing a female voice singing that.

557
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:20,760
It is.

558
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:21,760
Ace of Base.

559
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:22,760
That's it.

560
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:23,760
All right.

561
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,760
All right.

562
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:25,760
Even though they virtually had no base.

563
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,760
No, no, no.

564
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,760
Anyhow, all right.

565
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,760
We were talking about kale.

566
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,760
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

567
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:30,760
Okay.

568
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,760
We got a trash kale on every episode.

569
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,760
It's just who we are.

570
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,480
Listen, if you're a kale lover, you have the number.

571
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:38,480
It's been advertised.

572
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,480
It's on Facebook.

573
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,480
Let's see.

574
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,320
Well, you know, I'm not even going to give it out on here because by the time they hear

575
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,320
it, they'll call it.

576
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,280
No, I will give it out on here.

577
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,280
Here's why.

578
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,880
They'll call in a bitch about kale and we'll make fun of them.

579
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:52,880
Yeah, there we go.

580
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,880
So, what were we talking about?

581
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,880
Oh, okay.

582
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,880
816-312-7717.

583
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,160
That is the douchebag hotline.

584
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,160
All right.

585
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,600
But you're not going to hear this for like a couple of days.

586
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,600
Oops.

587
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:09,600
We have it posted.

588
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,080
So, you know what?

589
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,360
You see it, you call.

590
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:13,360
There we go.

591
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:14,360
Okay.

592
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:19,440
Anyhow, the other day I was sitting there and I was looking at different fruits at the

593
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:24,320
store and I was like, man, what if this orange fucking jumped up and picked a fight with

594
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,320
a pomegranate?

595
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,320
As they would want to do.

596
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,320
Yeah, yeah.

597
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,320
It happens all the time.

598
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:31,320
Who would win?

599
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,320
An orange and a pomegranate.

600
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,320
Yeah, yeah.

601
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,320
Well, don't worry.

602
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,280
We have a little thing written out here.

603
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,280
All right.

604
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:41,280
We've got an organized...

605
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,920
Oh, and coincidentally here coming up, we do have a deer douchebag.

606
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:45,920
Good.

607
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,920
Yep.

608
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:47,920
You're welcome, America.

609
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,000
Helping people one email at a time.

610
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,000
That's us.

611
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Selfless.

612
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,000
So giving.

613
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,240
We just give and give and give.

614
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,800
I give so much it makes us cry inside.

615
00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,800
Cry with joy.

616
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,200
Okay, anyhow.

617
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,120
What if fruit had a fight, who would win?

618
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:04,200
Okay.

619
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:09,000
What about a grape versus a pomegranate?

620
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
I'm going to go with the pomegranate.

621
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Me too.

622
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,840
It's got more initial size.

623
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,160
Plus, it could divide and conquer.

624
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,160
Yes.

625
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,320
It could split open and send all those little seeds out and kind of overwhelm them.

626
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,680
That's exactly what I imagine too.

627
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,480
Little seeds being like little soldiers.

628
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,480
Yeah.

629
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,080
They'd go over there and just like pricking the grape and all the juice that come out

630
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,720
that it would be raising.

631
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,320
It's like having a thousand mosquitoes bite you.

632
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,320
Yeah, yeah.

633
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,080
I think a pomegranate would stomp a grape.

634
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,080
Yeah, yeah.

635
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,080
I'm going to go with the pomegranate.

636
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,080
I think it'd be an easy victory.

637
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,080
Yeah.

638
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,080
I think it'd be like a round one.

639
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,600
Just like a pomegranate would all surround the grape and just start mashing and then

640
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,120
the grape would implode into nothing.

641
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,920
It'd be like some of those Tyson fights early in his career.

642
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:48,920
Yes, yeah.

643
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:49,920
Just like bam.

644
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,480
It's like hey, what happened to the fight?

645
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,480
Did it get postponed?

646
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,480
Oh no, no.

647
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:54,480
It's over.

648
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:55,480
What?

649
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,320
All 38 seconds of it happened back while you were in the bathroom.

650
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,320
Yeah.

651
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,800
You know that last piss when you got up to get that Coors Light?

652
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,800
That was it.

653
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:10,640
And you know, the fun part was it took like, you know, one of those fights was, you know,

654
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,440
it was literally less than a minute.

655
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:17,680
So that meant Tyson earned millions of dollars for less than a minute's work.

656
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,720
Oh yeah, yeah.

657
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,000
The thing I would like to know this, then we'll get back on this real quick because

658
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,240
I'm derailing it like I'm very famous to do, is this right here.

659
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,240
Okay.

660
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:32,800
Were a majority of those tomato cans or were they legitimate fighters?

661
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:33,800
Was it the time?

662
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:34,800
He was a great fighter.

663
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,800
Don't get me wrong, one of the best ever.

664
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,800
Yeah.

665
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,480
But was it the timing?

666
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:45,800
I think they were decent fighters and they weren't necessarily, as you said, tomato cans,

667
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,240
but they were mismatched.

668
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,320
But they weren't Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali.

669
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,320
Right.

670
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,600
They couldn't handle Tyson's style of fighting.

671
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,840
And they didn't have any kind of overwhelming style that would challenge Tyson until Buster

672
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:02,720
Douglas just came in and physically beat him because Tyson wasn't training as much as he

673
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:03,720
should have.

674
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,720
Nope, nope, he wasn't.

675
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,720
Yeah, I agree.

676
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:10,640
You see, at that point you didn't have a George Foreman.

677
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,280
You didn't have a Joe Frazier.

678
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:20,240
You didn't have a, let's see, there's some other really good ones there too that were

679
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,160
perennial contenders.

680
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:27,000
And it's hard to compare a lot of boxers because in the different weight categories, style

681
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,480
of fighting is vastly different.

682
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,480
Oh, I know.

683
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,000
In the heavyweights, it's physical punishment.

684
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,360
In the lighter weights, it's all about scoring hits.

685
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:38,480
And it's hard to move up or move down in the boxing industry too.

686
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,760
I'm talking weight wise.

687
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:40,760
And the reason is-

688
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,760
No one ever really succeeds if they move more than one weight class.

689
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:44,760
No, the only one was a Holyfield.

690
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:50,280
Holyfield legitimately was a middleweight and moved up to a heavyweight and legitimately

691
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,280
won.

692
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,280
That's pretty rare, as you said.

693
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:53,280
It's very rare.

694
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:58,880
If you have a certain natural body type and you radically change that, you're just not

695
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:04,160
going to be as strong or as instinctive because that's not how you're used to being in your

696
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,160
real life.

697
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,160
Yeah, that's true.

698
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,160
If you're, yeah.

699
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,160
Yep.

700
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,160
Okay, no, that's true.

701
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:13,000
And you slow down so much whenever you do add weight and you lose so much strength when

702
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,360
you take away weight.

703
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,440
So basically I think is what you're born with basically is about where you're going to be

704
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,840
at, add a couple of pounds for strengthening and conditioning.

705
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:26,520
So okay, the next one on the docket, oranges versus nectarines.

706
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,360
Well, they're both pretty juicy.

707
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:33,560
Yeah, I've got a distinct one on here and I'll tell you, but go ahead first.

708
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,560
You go.

709
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:41,160
Let's see, I would say probably the nectarine.

710
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,160
So the nectarine is basically a peach without the hair on it.

711
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,400
You see, that's what Val said too.

712
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,400
Yeah.

713
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:53,640
So I think that would be able to handle the orange just with the juiciness.

714
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,400
Okay, I went with an orange because of the tough rind.

715
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,400
Oh yeah, that's a good point.

716
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,400
It's got a tough rind and it's hard to peel.

717
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,960
I think that the nectarine would keep smacking it and hurting itself with that tough rind.

718
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,480
And then I think after it wore out, the orange would just roll over on it.

719
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,600
Yeah, yeah, I can see that too.

720
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,600
Yeah.

721
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:12,600
Okay.

722
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:18,320
The orange would dry up its face until it smashed in.

723
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,600
So I'm picturing fruit doing terrible things.

724
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,600
I'm going to kill you.

725
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:32,720
Okay, the next one, bananas versus grapefruits.

726
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:37,080
You know, I think banana is going to win a lot of this because of the piercing ability.

727
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,080
You know what?

728
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,080
I might change my mind on this.

729
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,080
Go ahead.

730
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,080
Yeah, grapefruit's pretty tough.

731
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,040
The rind is actually tougher than an orange.

732
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:44,520
It's thinner, but it's tougher.

733
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,160
See, I thought a grapefruit would just jump on it and keep it down.

734
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,160
Yeah.

735
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,240
Yeah, it'd be like, who's your daddy?

736
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,240
Bap!

737
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,240
Who's your daddy?

738
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,240
Bap!

739
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,520
And I'll think a banana could get up if a grapefruit was laying straight on it.

740
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,520
Yeah, yeah.

741
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,520
But then again, a banana could jab.

742
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,800
Like if it was one of those real tough green bananas.

743
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:08,720
See, yeah, and I also imagine a banana, talking about this, I think I kind of changed my mind.

744
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,400
I'm going to go with banana because I think a banana's a high jumper.

745
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:16,600
I think a banana could jump over like one of those...

746
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,000
Like a porpoise, like a flipper, flipping, jumping out of the water like they do at SeaWorld.

747
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,600
Yeah, I think it could also be like a...

748
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:28,800
You throw them and they come back to you.

749
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:29,800
Boomerang.

750
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:30,800
A boomerang.

751
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:31,800
There we go, yeah.

752
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

753
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,800
We just played a million dollar pyramid of passwords.

754
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,800
Yeah.

755
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800
You throw them and they come back to you.

756
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:39,800
A boomerang.

757
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,080
Now, you said banana versus pineapple.

758
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,880
I'd have to go with pineapple.

759
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,720
Yeah, well pineapple would bring all his swinger friends out.

760
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,280
Yeah, then they'd try to...

761
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,280
That's true.

762
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,720
Yeah, then they'd try to have sex with you.

763
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,720
That's right.

764
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:52,720
Pineapples don't travel alone.

765
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,720
No, they don't.

766
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,720
Okay.

767
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,840
All right.

768
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:03,760
How about avocado versus a plum?

769
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,960
Avocados got the advantage of that big honking seed right in the middle.

770
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,760
And also, you can get huge avocados if you go to the right store.

771
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:11,760
Right.

772
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,160
Plums, you kind of reach an upper limit.

773
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,800
I think plums are mushy too.

774
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:15,800
Yeah.

775
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,880
Which would indicate to me that they're kind of soft and wishy-washy.

776
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:18,880
Yeah.

777
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,800
I think a plum would come out and go, I'm going to kick your ass.

778
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:21,800
Well, no, maybe I'm not.

779
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:22,800
Yeah.

780
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:23,800
Yeah, no, I don't think so.

781
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:24,800
Yeah, I think...

782
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:25,800
Yeah, I'm going avocado.

783
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:26,800
Okay, avocado would.

784
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,640
Besides that, like you said, they got that deep, rich, dark color.

785
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,680
They just come out and go, hey, hey, come here.

786
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:34,680
Got a fucking problem?

787
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,280
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

788
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,280
I'm just a plum.

789
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,280
I ain't got any problem, dude.

790
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,880
I'll get the fuck out of here.

791
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:40,880
This is my spot.

792
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:41,880
Okay.

793
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:42,880
All right.

794
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:43,880
I'm sorry.

795
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:44,880
I'm just a plum.

796
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:45,880
You know me.

797
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,880
So anyhow.

798
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:47,880
All right.

799
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:48,880
Next one.

800
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:49,880
Okay.

801
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:54,280
I think the avocado is a scrapper anyhow.

802
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,280
Yeah.

803
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,280
Yeah.

804
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,200
And anyhow, basically that's what I had here.

805
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,280
I think, let's see, how about a papaya versus a mango?

806
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:03,280
Wow.

807
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:08,960
A couple of tropical fruits here.

808
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:09,960
Mangos are tough.

809
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:10,960
I'm going to go with a mango.

810
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960
Me too.

811
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,160
I put down, I think a mango is a scrapper all the way.

812
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,920
A mango would throat punch a papaya.

813
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:19,920
Yeah.

814
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,960
I mean, you just walk up and just smack it right in the throat.

815
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:27,320
And then when the papaya is lying on the ground gurgling gas from forever, go, don't fuck with

816
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,320
me, kid.

817
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,320
And he'll walk off.

818
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,880
And when he throws, he put a cigarette out on his face.

819
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:32,880
Yeah.

820
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,120
And the mango's got that- Tell your friends, tell your fucking papaya

821
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,840
friends to stay the fuck off here.

822
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:39,840
Go ahead.

823
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:40,840
I'm sorry.

824
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,240
The mango's got that skin oil that's highly irritating too.

825
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:46,240
Oh yeah.

826
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,240
That's right.

827
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,600
I'm allergic to that, the skin oil from mangoes.

828
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,600
Oh shit.

829
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,720
So if someone peels it for me, I can eat a mango, but I can't peel one myself.

830
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,280
So if someone wanted to play a very bad trick on you, they could papaya up your fucking

831
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,280
PJs.

832
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,280
Mango.

833
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,280
Did I say papaya?

834
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,280
Mango.

835
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,280
You know what?

836
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,280
I'm sorry.

837
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,280
I'm sorry.

838
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:05,280
Okay, mango.

839
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:06,280
Yeah, mango.

840
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,480
I like mango, but they've got that big flat seed in there that's-

841
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,480
They're good.

842
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:11,480
You know, everything sticks to you real hard.

843
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:12,480
I like them in drinks.

844
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:13,480
I like mango in drinks.

845
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:14,480
Have you ever had them in a drink?

846
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,480
Mm-hmm.

847
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:16,480
It's really good.

848
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:17,480
Okay.

849
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,440
And supposedly eating raw mango will enhance your high if you're smoking weed.

850
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:22,440
Oh really?

851
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,440
I've heard that.

852
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,440
I've never tried it.

853
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,440
Kind of like orange juice does with acid and all that.

854
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,440
Yeah, something like that.

855
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,440
Oh, okay.

856
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,440
All right.

857
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,440
The vitamins in it?

858
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:36,000
No, back in the day, everybody used to, whenever you saw them with a fucking jar of orange

859
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,880
juice, yeah, and there was only jars back then.

860
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:39,880
Yeah.

861
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:40,880
Jars of orange juice.

862
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:41,880
Oh, they were planting acid.

863
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:42,880
You do bet they were on acid.

864
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,880
Yeah, there we go.

865
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:44,880
Yep.

866
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,880
Plus they'll hydrate you while you're seeing the little forest animals running around.

867
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:48,880
That's true, yeah.

868
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,840
When trees are jumping around telling you that they love you.

869
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:53,840
Yeah.

870
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:54,840
Yes.

871
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,960
Yeah, you had a bottle of orange juice in your hand.

872
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:01,880
Cherry versus blueberries.

873
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,640
I've got a definite one of those.

874
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,600
Wow, I'm kind of going back and forth.

875
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:11,080
Cherry has got the big cherry pit in it, but the blueberries have that antioxidant going

876
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,080
for it.

877
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,080
Yeah, that's true.

878
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,040
Well, I'll stick with cherry.

879
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,040
Me too.

880
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,600
I think a cherry is a tough little bastard that grew up in the streets.

881
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,200
Probably has a set of numb chucks.

882
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,880
So when the blueberry comes up to ask for directions, the cherry's just going to smack

883
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,760
it right in the fucking head.

884
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,520
Cherries survived George Washington.

885
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:30,520
That's true.

886
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:31,520
Yeah.

887
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:32,520
They got their notoriety from there.

888
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,120
Yeah, remember George Washington did that hate crime against the cherry tree?

889
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,240
Yes, he did.

890
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:39,280
But he couldn't tell a lie, so he screwed himself.

891
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,100
Who the fuck came up with that?

892
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:45,600
What kind of bizarre fucking idiot said, well, we got to prop this guy up.

893
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,200
What do we do?

894
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,760
He chopped down a cherry tree, and then his parents asked him, they said, I can't tell

895
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:54,760
a lie.

896
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,760
I did it.

897
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,760
That's bullshit.

898
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,200
He went and webbed it on his brother, Felipe.

899
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,200
Felipe Washington.

900
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,040
He said, I didn't do it if Felipe did.

901
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,040
What?

902
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:08,160
And you know, that was something made up for Washington's political campaign.

903
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,160
What idiots.

904
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,640
And I was still being taught that when I was in grade school.

905
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:13,640
I know.

906
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:14,800
I know, me too.

907
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,760
People perpetuated that lie for that long.

908
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,000
Hey, look, food.

909
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,240
They're still perpetuating that lie.

910
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:26,000
People probably still think that that really happened.

911
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,680
You're right.

912
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:28,680
They probably do.

913
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,600
Well, do they still teach it?

914
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,280
I'm not so sure they still teach it.

915
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,400
No, they barely teach anything anymore.

916
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,200
No, no, no, no, no.

917
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:41,840
Instead, they just say, hey, we were here.

918
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,520
And other than that, yeah, that's about it.

919
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:44,960
So anyhow, OK.

920
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,000
We got there from cherries and blueberries.

921
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000
Yes, we did.

922
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
OK.

923
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Let's see.

924
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,000
All right.

925
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,960
What's the difference between watermelon and watermelon?

926
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,280
I already stated what I think.

927
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,280
Wow.

928
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,520
Watermelon's got an advantage through size.

929
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:04,160
Yeah, but I think watermelon would, for me, be like a manatee, kind of defenseless, kind

930
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,200
of big blob, just kind of like that in there.

931
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,720
Yeah, you know how easily they crack and split open?

932
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:12,000
Yeah, watermelon would be over there going, hey, what's up?

933
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,920
That's what's up, you son of a bitch.

934
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:14,920
Get off my turf.

935
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:15,920
Yeah, off the roof.

936
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,200
Oh, pineapple has those little fucking prickly vines too.

937
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:19,480
Those little spines on it, yeah.

938
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,920
You'd probably jab the watermelon a couple of times in the gut.

939
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:23,920
Yeah.

940
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,240
The watermelon would roll over and try to call 911.

941
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:31,480
Yeah, the watermelon rolls over something like an inch tall and then it'll split wide open.

942
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,480
Yeah.

943
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,040
So watermelon's a pushover.

944
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,440
People are knocking the piss out of it all day, walking by knocking on it and stuff,

945
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,320
and then throwing it back in the bin.

946
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,920
Injecting it full of vodka.

947
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,840
Oh, well, there's nothing wrong with that.

948
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:43,840
That's fine.

949
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:44,840
OK.

950
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,680
Let's see.

951
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,980
Peach versus apple.

952
00:36:50,980 --> 00:36:53,920
This one is good.

953
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,000
To me, this is a very close duel.

954
00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:02,800
I think it's one that'll be decided with maybe a trip or maybe a headbutt.

955
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,840
Yeah, yeah.

956
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,560
I think it's very evenly matched in there.

957
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,920
I'll go with the apple on this, a nice, firm, crisp apple.

958
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:11,920
I would too.

959
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,000
It could probably beat the crap out of the peach.

960
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
I think so too.

961
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:18,120
I think an apple's hard enough to where if it headbutted it or tripped it, I think it

962
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,080
could take a peach down.

963
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:24,720
But I think a peach is a scrapper because it's got a chip on its shoulder because everybody

964
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:28,360
likes nectarines because it doesn't have all the fuzz.

965
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:34,280
But a peach is so much better in a jar or canned or whatever.

966
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,080
But still, they get motherfucked because of the fuzz.

967
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,400
So I think they have a chip on their shoulder, but I still think an apple could take it.

968
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:47,240
And besides that, an apple is the original sin.

969
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,520
So I think an apple is just kind of like, fuck you guys.

970
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:51,520
We invented sin.

971
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:52,520
I'll kill you.

972
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:53,520
It's an interesting thing.

973
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:57,760
If Adam and Eve had been Cajun, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple

974
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,040
and we'd all be fine.

975
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,880
Yeah, that would have been cooler than hell.

976
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:01,880
Yeah.

977
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:02,880
Well, there you go.

978
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,880
That snake would have showed up and they would have said, let's barbecue this snake.

979
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:07,880
Hell yeah.

980
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:08,880
Hey guys.

981
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,880
Hey, how you doing, man?

982
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:10,880
I'm good.

983
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:11,880
How you doing today?

984
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:12,880
I'm good, man.

985
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:13,880
I remember him.

986
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:14,880
I do too.

987
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,920
Yeah, that's the women have their place guy.

988
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:18,920
Yeah.

989
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:22,240
He's with a different chick though.

990
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:23,240
Looks like it.

991
00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:25,240
And he didn't want to talk.

992
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:26,240
Nope.

993
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:27,240
Okay.

994
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:30,240
Joshua, that was his name.

995
00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:31,240
Yeah, Joshua.

996
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,240
Let's see.

997
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,240
Oh, okay.

998
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:36,240
This one is pretty interesting.

999
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,240
Okay.

1000
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:42,040
A fig versus a date.

1001
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,480
This one is really hard.

1002
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,480
Yeah.

1003
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,840
This one is really soft.

1004
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,320
Dates are fairly small and soft.

1005
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,680
I'm going to say it's a draw.

1006
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,120
I think they're both going to wear out and just kind of shake hands and leave.

1007
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,120
Yeah.

1008
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,120
Yeah.

1009
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,440
I can see it just, yeah.

1010
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,120
I don't see a clear winner between a date.

1011
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,760
Look at each other and go, we're just fighting because these douchebags do us in the same

1012
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:02,760
ring together.

1013
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,120
It's like dates and currents.

1014
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:05,120
They're almost the same thing anyway.

1015
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,120
Yeah, they're almost the same thing.

1016
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,120
Yeah.

1017
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:08,120
So yeah.

1018
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,120
Okay.

1019
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,560
So there's our first tie.

1020
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,560
Okay.

1021
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:12,560
Got a tie.

1022
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:13,560
Let's see.

1023
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,280
This one is pumpkin versus rhubarb.

1024
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,760
I'm going to go pumpkin.

1025
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,320
Me too, because of the size.

1026
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:22,320
Yeah.

1027
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:23,760
They don't split like watermelons do.

1028
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:25,520
And rhubarb is also a root.

1029
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,520
Yeah.

1030
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:27,520
So imagine it being that mobile.

1031
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:28,520
Yeah.

1032
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:30,160
You just kind of snap the stalks over and they're all done.

1033
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,160
Yeah.

1034
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,160
Yeah.

1035
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,160
So I think a pumpkin roll over and snap it in half and no more rhubarb.

1036
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,440
So all right.

1037
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,440
Strawberry versus blackberry.

1038
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,440
And this is the final one.

1039
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,560
I think strawberry is going to win that.

1040
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:45,560
Blackberries are pretty fragile.

1041
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,800
You smack them and they'll just scatter into all sorts of little holes.

1042
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:50,800
Yeah.

1043
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,680
And I mean, I also think that a strawberry could do something with the seeds on it too.

1044
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,680
Yeah.

1045
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,760
They could maybe extrude them and like hit the blackberry in the face.

1046
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:04,200
Now there is something to be said if a blackberry makes it to maturity because the birds are

1047
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,200
all over those.

1048
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:09,440
So it's like one in a million blackberries actually makes it.

1049
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:15,880
So okay, can we put a little asterisk by that because it'd have to be one tough blackberry

1050
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,920
to make it to a bullhead.

1051
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,920
If it makes it to there, then the blackberry will win.

1052
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:21,920
Yeah.

1053
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:22,920
Okay.

1054
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,920
Okay.

1055
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:24,920
Two.

1056
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:25,920
Deuce bags.

1057
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:26,920
And a microphone.

1058
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:27,920
More fun than a taser tube juggernaut.

1059
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:28,920
This.

1060
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:29,920
Aignborn ass radio kid.

1061
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:30,920
It's the next generation.

1062
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:31,920
Podcast.

1063
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:45,360
Two thimble dicks and a crash cart will be right back.

1064
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,360
Coming up.

1065
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,520
A blast from the past.

1066
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:56,080
This is where we take old shows and incorporate them into new shows.

1067
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,240
Because you fucks refuse to go get it.

1068
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:04,480
I mean, you know, while we're talking about stinky stuff and all this, you know, about

1069
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,520
10 years ago, they decided they're going to come up with some different douche flavors.

1070
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:09,520
Oh.

1071
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,520
Yeah.

1072
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:11,520
But they didn't go over very well.

1073
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:12,520
Wait a minute.

1074
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:13,520
Who's tasting it?

1075
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,040
Well, I don't know if it's a taste or a smell.

1076
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,040
Yeah.

1077
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:22,720
Well, on the other hand, you know, if a person would use the douche prior to oral sex, maybe

1078
00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:23,720
that would be.

1079
00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:25,720
Maybe that's what they're wanting to.

1080
00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:28,760
So what kind of flavor goes well with the vagina?

1081
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,400
We obtained it.

1082
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,120
We exclusively are crack staff here at crack staff.

1083
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,120
I love it.

1084
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:36,120
Yeah.

1085
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,520
Here at two douche bags and a microphone.

1086
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:44,440
We obtained a couple of things about douches.

1087
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,240
We ought to be experts.

1088
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:48,240
Here's a spoiler.

1089
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:49,720
We're not experts about anything.

1090
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:50,720
No.

1091
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:51,720
Yeah.

1092
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,220
Is that actually a spoiler?

1093
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:55,280
You think they're just like scratching their head going?

1094
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,160
Yeah, we realized this.

1095
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,160
Yeah.

1096
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:02,160
If they needed to be told that we're not experts and that we will lie to you if it entertains

1097
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:06,720
us, well, you're probably missing the point of the whole podcast if we have to be told

1098
00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:07,720
that part.

1099
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:12,800
If you believe a fucking thing comes out of our mouth, I question you as a person.

1100
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,120
Yes.

1101
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:19,520
If you believe nothing else, believe it when we say look it up for yourself, find out for

1102
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:23,560
yourself, make up your own mind, quit relying on what other people told you.

1103
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:28,680
End of that, next week probably or the week after, we have this special guest that just

1104
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,840
by chance he runs into us every now and then.

1105
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:36,180
We prefer to call him Deep Sky, but he calls himself Brandon.

1106
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,420
That was the name he was using at the time.

1107
00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:41,080
We know it's not actually really Brandon.

1108
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:47,040
This guy is an expert on the Deep State and the big cover up going on everywhere.

1109
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:52,480
Now, listen, I mean, I think that a lot of what this guy says, there's a lot of truth

1110
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,480
in it.

1111
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,480
I don't believe all of it.

1112
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,880
I think it's like anything.

1113
00:42:55,880 --> 00:43:00,280
People take part of the truth and then they expand it into whatever.

1114
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:05,480
The more you look, the more you can find information that will justify just about anything you

1115
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,480
choose to believe.

1116
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:07,480
Yeah.

1117
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,440
The whole thing is this guy is uber intelligent.

1118
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:11,440
Very, very.

1119
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:12,440
He-

1120
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:13,800
Very organized.

1121
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,520
Very organized.

1122
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,240
He is a walking encyclopedia of this stuff.

1123
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:22,640
He believes it with all his heart.

1124
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,480
We're hoping to find him again here soon.

1125
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,920
We haven't seen him in a few weeks.

1126
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:32,880
He kind of got freaked out because he wanted to take a picture of him there with us.

1127
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:33,880
He wasn't having that.

1128
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,160
I have no idea what Brandon's into or anything.

1129
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:41,200
As a matter of fact, he didn't even want to listen to the podcast.

1130
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:42,200
Yeah.

1131
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,200
Anyhow.

1132
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,480
Very, very grateful he agreed to talk to us for quite a long time.

1133
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,480
Yeah.

1134
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:48,480
Hopefully, we will see him again.

1135
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:53,760
If not, we probably have about five hours of this guy and he jumped in one day when

1136
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,320
we were talking about Jim Morrison and rock stars.

1137
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,320
Yeah, that's right.

1138
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:58,320
That's right.

1139
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:03,200
Anyhow, he came in and was talking to us about Jim Morrison the day he died.

1140
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,440
His dad signed the Magna Carta.

1141
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,440
Was that it?

1142
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,440
No.

1143
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,480
He was saying that Jim Morrison's dad was in military intelligence.

1144
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:12,480
Yeah.

1145
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:19,240
Jim Morrison was directly connected to the Gulf of Tonkin incident which justified the

1146
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:20,240
Vietnam War.

1147
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:21,240
That was it.

1148
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:22,240
That was it.

1149
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,240
Okay.

1150
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,240
The way it was conducted.

1151
00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:25,240
Anyhow.

1152
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,240
Then he was saying more.

1153
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,480
I'm not going to do any more spoilers beyond that.

1154
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,440
Also, numerology, the big satanic cult, all this stuff.

1155
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:36,600
Listen, like I said, I don't believe everything that he says, but whenever he speaks, I find

1156
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:41,800
it extremely interesting, extremely entertaining, and thought provoking.

1157
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,440
He makes your brain do that little dance every time he talks.

1158
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:46,440
Yeah.

1159
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:52,920
As long as you're open to possibilities and new ideas and listen with that attitude, he's

1160
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:57,480
got so much interesting things, so many interesting things to say.

1161
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:02,960
Even if you don't necessarily agree with all the conclusions, there's a lot of interesting

1162
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,760
information along the way that is both verifiable and verifiable.

1163
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:12,080
A lot of it is factual, what he's speaking of is factual.

1164
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,880
Yeah, verifiable and had a great impact on a lot of things.

1165
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,960
He's actually the guy that uncovered the deuce flavors for us.

1166
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:19,960
Oh, excellent work.

1167
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:20,960
Yeah.

1168
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,680
He went to Massengill and he did a big espose.

1169
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:33,000
Anyhow, I mean, the first one that went over horribly was Bloody Mary.

1170
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:36,560
They just did not like the name.

1171
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:40,320
They thought Bloody Mary was just a very bad fit for addiction.

1172
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,520
I can just see the ad picture.

1173
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,920
Where would they put the stalk of celery?

1174
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:47,920
That might've been one of the problems.

1175
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,360
Yeah, that could be it.

1176
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:53,800
It's like if you write a beautiful song that's called Suck My Ass, then people aren't going

1177
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,080
to want to listen to it.

1178
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,280
I would, but I'm a douchebag.

1179
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,280
What's your favorite song?

1180
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,280
Suck My Ass.

1181
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:02,280
Sorry, damn.

1182
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:07,600
It's just like I remember the back of Circus Magazine, I think it was Keith Richards.

1183
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,600
No, it wasn't Keith Richards.

1184
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:11,600
Who was it?

1185
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:17,240
Shit, I think it was like Nick Bocotte of, remember the old metal band Grim Reaper?

1186
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:20,400
They just talk to him and they go, hey, what's your favorite ballad?

1187
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,400
He goes, Highway to Hell.

1188
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,400
Good comeback.

1189
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:29,840
I think he was serious.

1190
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,320
So Bloody Mary is a no go.

1191
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,320
No, that's no go.

1192
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:36,160
And then after that they tried to take advantage of the health price.

1193
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:42,040
So any health back then, kale was a big item back then.

1194
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,840
Well didn't go over so well.

1195
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:50,720
They took it down to the corner market deals.

1196
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:56,680
If you were actually getting like- Sprouts said no.

1197
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,680
Whole Foods said no.

1198
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:02,520
If you were getting some actual kale with it, that would be one thing, but it's just

1199
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:06,200
the kale flavor without the nutrition.

1200
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,280
Yeah, that's not the issue.

1201
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:12,080
It's just like a meme going around how to serve kale and it shows them throwing it in

1202
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,080
the garbage.

1203
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:15,080
Nobody really likes kale.

1204
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,160
They say they do, they just want you to like that.

1205
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,080
Let's face it, it's a douche bag status.

1206
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,680
So what did you have for lunch?

1207
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,600
Oh I had a kale sandwich.

1208
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:24,600
With quinoa.

1209
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,200
I put my hand up and walk away.

1210
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,560
I do the talk to the hand and then I leave.

1211
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:31,560
I don't even say another word.

1212
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,040
Do I hear the word kale?

1213
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:34,240
It's like no.

1214
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:39,640
I smell water and vinegar.

1215
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:45,200
A kale salad is what a douche would be, right?

1216
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,360
Well anyhow, kale was a no go.

1217
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:53,120
So you know, the Massagel's like shit, they want to go the complete opposite.

1218
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,320
Let's do some unhealthy food.

1219
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,560
So they came up with cotton candy.

1220
00:47:56,560 --> 00:48:02,880
Oh my gosh.

1221
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:09,800
I would think that you'd want her to have a Brazilian, otherwise you start to get a

1222
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,560
little association in your mind.

1223
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,440
Oh, Babble Snatch.

1224
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,960
Babble Snatch would have been a great flavor.

1225
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,160
Yeah, that was a very popular gum.

1226
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:20,160
Oh god yeah.

1227
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,160
Very popular gum.

1228
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:25,360
Once you have Babble Snatch, you don't like any other gum.

1229
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,800
You didn't want to babble in any other Snatch again.

1230
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,360
No, no that was it.

1231
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,360
Especially Paul at 7-Eleven.

1232
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,040
Me and him love each other.

1233
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:37,520
He sends me Christmas cards, everything.

1234
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,920
But cotton candy went over horribly.

1235
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:44,720
It went over like a flaming pile of shit.

1236
00:48:44,720 --> 00:48:45,720
Like it probably should have.

1237
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,400
Let's hope they didn't do flaming pile of shit flavor.

1238
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,720
That would actually probably have a market now that you think about it.

1239
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:56,480
Well, you know, and then Massingale, the crack staff down there was scratching their heads

1240
00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:02,680
like, you know what, maybe we need to get on the Latin tip.

1241
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,120
There's a lot of Latinos and Latinos in America.

1242
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:09,320
Yeah, broaden your market base and try to expand into other markets.

1243
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,080
So we're going to do a little spicy.

1244
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,640
We're going to get a little warm here.

1245
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,200
So they came up with wasabi.

1246
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:20,080
Oh, wasabi.

1247
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,280
I guess wasabi didn't go so well.

1248
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:29,880
They were like, you know, man, you know, they're like, you know, it's hot, has some flavor.

1249
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,120
You know, I mean, there's a couple fold on that.

1250
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:37,640
Not only the person that were that's, you know, hanging around the brush, so to speak,

1251
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:45,240
you know, but also the person that was using the wasabi probably didn't care for it either.

1252
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:48,440
I imagine a lot of perspiring going on.

1253
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:56,040
I met a man years ago who thought that Vicks VapoRub was an excellent sexual lubricant.

1254
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,040
Yikes.

1255
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:04,200
Oh, I've got my Alberto, my Alberto V05 story, but I will save that for another podcast.

1256
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,360
Let's just say it's not a good lubricant.

1257
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:07,360
Okay.

1258
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:08,640
Let's just leave it right there.

1259
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:09,640
All right.

1260
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:14,200
And besides that, someone listen, this podcast might know what I'm talking about.

1261
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:15,200
No spoilers?

1262
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:19,680
Listen, this is your 30 day warning.

1263
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:28,080
If you don't want this broadcast, send me a message.

1264
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:32,000
When we mean that in the friendliest, most non-threatening way possible.

1265
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Absolutely.

1266
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:38,600
So that would be my cue to say it with names.

1267
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,360
So wasabi fell on its face.

1268
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:41,360
Yeah.

1269
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:42,360
Yeah.

1270
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:45,120
Well, then they're like, you know, the crack staff down there scratching their heads again.

1271
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:50,240
What can we do to get across that, you know, that our douches are just, you know, we're

1272
00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:52,520
the new kinder gentler douches.

1273
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,560
We asked 100 people, what flavor do you want to sit on your face?

1274
00:50:56,560 --> 00:51:02,560
Well, the next one was hot damn.

1275
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,080
Was that cinnamon whiskey?

1276
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:05,080
Yes.

1277
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,080
Kind of thing.

1278
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:10,800
So, you know, they're like, you know, hot damn.

1279
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,160
How can you go wrong with that, man?

1280
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:15,480
You know, freshens your breath and smash, you know, you get smashed.

1281
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,440
I mean, you know, it's a great concept to think about, you know.

1282
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,880
The alcohol content would probably help cut down on some UTIs.

1283
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,880
Hey Willie, what are you doing?

1284
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:24,880
Drinking?

1285
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,280
What are you drinking?

1286
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,280
Hot damn.

1287
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,480
I'm doing shots out of, well.

1288
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,800
This container is really unique.

1289
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,160
I'm using this nice fur tea cup.

1290
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:40,120
This is the coolest shot glass I've ever had in my life.

1291
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,280
I think that was in an Alice Cooper song.

1292
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,040
That was Feed My Frankenstein.

1293
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,040
Feed My Frankenstein, yeah.

1294
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,040
I love that song.

1295
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,040
Yeah, he referred to.

1296
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:48,040
Feed My Frankenstein.

1297
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:55,280
He referred to licking an ice cream cone and drinking from a fur tea cup.

1298
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:59,200
A fur tea cup, I wrote that one.

1299
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:00,200
Good ol' Alice.

1300
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,200
Yeah.

1301
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:05,560
Well, you know, Mazinger, they're called what the fuck can we do?

1302
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:11,960
So they kind of decided to maybe go to the Fringe, maybe hit the country folk, maybe

1303
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,280
hit the Rednecks and the Hicks up and stuff like that.

1304
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,600
So naturally it went to a skull dip flavor.

1305
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,600
Oh, for when you're going down on the farm.

1306
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1307
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:23,600
Oh my gosh.

1308
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:28,120
Yeah, we've got a mouthful of chaw, you know.

1309
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,040
So that would tend to be like a big menthol flavor.

1310
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,040
Yeah, yeah.

1311
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:38,440
I mean, I guess you could go Copenhagen straight tobacco flavor, but you'd start sneezing probably

1312
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:39,440
down there.

1313
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,440
That wouldn't be a good idea, you know.

1314
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,880
Yeah, no whistling through the wheat field.

1315
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:46,880
Oh boy.

1316
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:52,880
And then, you know, out of habit, you probably, you know, have to every now and then turn

1317
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,880
your head and spit.

1318
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,040
And that doesn't go over well.

1319
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,040
No.

1320
00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:59,040
It's like, why are you doing that?

1321
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:00,720
Did you get a hair or something?

1322
00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:01,720
What's wrong?

1323
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:02,720
Oh, sorry.

1324
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:03,720
It's just the flavor.

1325
00:53:03,720 --> 00:53:09,080
I mean, yeah, that's what I do whenever I get around menthol.

1326
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,080
Sorry.

1327
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,440
So, yeah, I can see that not going well.

1328
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,120
Yeah, they didn't go so well.

1329
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:19,200
So, you know, they're like, you know, we're going to try to appeal to the younger crowd,

1330
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,200
but not too young.

1331
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:25,320
You know, kind of, you know, maybe the 20, early 20 something, maybe 18 year old, you

1332
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:26,320
know.

1333
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:27,320
Yeah.

1334
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,320
Yeah.

1335
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,360
For the sake of staying legal, 18, maybe 18 to 25 or something like that.

1336
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:32,360
You know, that demo.

1337
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:33,360
So they went lucky charms.

1338
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:41,920
I wonder if you could get the version, the version with just marshmallows.

1339
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:43,480
Did you say virgin?

1340
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:44,480
I almost did.

1341
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,320
Did you get the virgin with just marshmallows?

1342
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,080
I guess virgins could use it.

1343
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:50,080
You know, that's okay.

1344
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:55,120
So the marshmallows that you get just the marshmallows, they weren't selling them for

1345
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:56,120
a while.

1346
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,120
Just the marshmallows.

1347
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:01,680
You can get the St. Patrick's Day version with a mixture of green clovers in.

1348
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:05,680
Oh, these are tragically suspicious.

1349
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,920
No, no, no.

1350
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:14,040
They're magically delicious.

1351
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,040
You start clicking your heels.

1352
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:19,560
Oh, these lucky charms.

1353
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:20,560
They hit me spot.

1354
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:26,840
And then you'll hear her say, oh, you found the pot of gold.

1355
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,120
If you're lucky, you'll hear that.

1356
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:30,440
Oh, you little.

1357
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:31,440
Lucky charms.

1358
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:32,440
Wow.

1359
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,960
Well, you know, that actually could probably work, you know, because people like sweet.

1360
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,400
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1361
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,280
And then you get to drink the milk water afterwards.

1362
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:45,200
Okay, now I can see how that didn't work.

1363
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,880
There's no cereal milk after this.

1364
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:50,480
Well, you know, the massive girls are there just scratching their heads going, we don't

1365
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:51,480
know what to do.

1366
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,840
Getting the wrong focus groups, apparently.

1367
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:57,280
Yeah, they got another group in and they decided, you know, crab.

1368
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,240
Oh, crab with a K.

1369
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,240
Yeah.

1370
00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:01,240
Nice.

1371
00:55:01,240 --> 00:55:04,240
Yeah, they're saying crab flavored juices.

1372
00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:13,400
Well, you know, seafood, fish, you know, it just didn't have a good ring, you know, considering

1373
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:18,640
the subject matter, they just really, you know, crab just didn't really, yeah, kind

1374
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,640
of fell on its face, so to speak.

1375
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:24,680
Yeah, that's like putting gold leaf on a chrome bumper.

1376
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:29,280
It's already, you know, it's already all that it can be along those lines.

1377
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,080
Yes, they're like, you know, okay, okay, maybe not crab.

1378
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,080
That's a little overpowering.

1379
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,840
How about a boiled shrimp?

1380
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,040
Especially around Fat Tuesday.

1381
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,360
Yeah, yeah, with that spice and everything.

1382
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:48,200
Yeah, you could, you could have, you know, etouffee and you could have gumbo and you

1383
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:49,200
have jambalaya version.

1384
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,600
You could go any way with it at all.

1385
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:52,600
Yeah.

1386
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,160
Yeah, I mean, who doesn't like a good New Orleans celebration?

1387
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:56,160
Yeah, yeah.

1388
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:01,400
Well, um, evidently that didn't do too well either, people weren't real crazy about the

1389
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,560
boiled shrimp and it didn't really go on its plate.

1390
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,400
Didn't go for the Creole crotch.

1391
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:16,400
No, no, no, Creole crotch, no boiled shrimp, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1392
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,200
just get the fuck out of here, you and your fucking boiled shrimp here.

1393
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,920
Take your packet, take your spice packet with you.

1394
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:26,600
See, that's the include the spice packet with the douche.

1395
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,480
That could, that could be a game changer.

1396
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,680
Yeah, because then you could always, if it didn't work out, you could always just go

1397
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,160
boil some shrimp.

1398
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,160
Yeah.

1399
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:35,160
Yeah.

1400
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:43,160
So anyhow, so then, you know, the crack staff in Massingale's, you know, let's try maybe

1401
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,000
a snack or something.

1402
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:49,960
So they went with extra sharp cheddar cheese.

1403
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,040
Extra sharp cheddar cheese.

1404
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:55,880
It's not even the real cheese, just the cheese.

1405
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:56,880
It's yeah.

1406
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:57,880
Yeah.

1407
00:56:57,880 --> 00:56:58,880
Just the cheese.

1408
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:00,760
It's square pieces of shit.

1409
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:05,800
That way you can get the marketing tie in and you know, cheese will help, you know,

1410
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,680
pay the cost of the advertising.

1411
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:09,680
With the crunch also.

1412
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,320
So you know, you're eating some cheese.

1413
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,960
It's you're like, hmm, this reminds me of something.

1414
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:20,640
Like what are you doing?

1415
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:26,600
Or else maybe right in the middle, right in the middle, you think, damn, after this is

1416
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:34,520
over, I'd like to have some cheese.

1417
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:40,880
Well needless to say, the extra sharp cheddar cheese, it's didn't go that well.

1418
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:46,840
So anyhow, they were, they're forced to maybe go with some other direction and anyhow, so

1419
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:47,840
that can't wait.

1420
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:54,200
And the final one that we've uncovered or Brandon uncovered for us, sushi.

1421
00:57:54,200 --> 00:58:00,520
Well, for obvious reasons, sushi did not do that well as a douche flavor.

1422
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:01,520
Yeah.

1423
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:05,560
It was quickly scrapped in favor of just traditional.

1424
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:10,440
But you know, sushi would go well with the wasabi flavor as well.

1425
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:16,560
So if you get the two flavors together and mix them, a little wasabi sushi douche.

1426
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:17,560
Yeah.

1427
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,360
So let's see wasabi sushi douche.

1428
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:20,360
I like that.

1429
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:21,360
Yeah.

1430
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:22,360
It kind of rolls off the tongue.

1431
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:27,760
Keep them well away from lucky charms and cotton candy.

1432
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:28,760
Yeah.

1433
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:29,760
Yeah.

1434
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,160
I'm kind of surprised they didn't go for any like comfort food.

1435
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,160
Like you know, mashed potatoes and gravy.

1436
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:37,640
That would be a great one.

1437
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:38,640
Yeah.

1438
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:39,640
Maybe or tenderloin.

1439
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:45,040
A tenderloin flavored douche, you know, and then or, you know, that would go with the

1440
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,040
mashed potatoes and gravy.

1441
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,040
Yeah.

1442
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,040
Corn dog.

1443
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:50,040
Corn dog.

1444
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:51,040
Yeah.

1445
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:54,640
You hit everybody at the fair with that.

1446
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:55,640
Yeah.

1447
00:58:55,640 --> 00:59:01,880
How about, and you know, people like deep fried Snickers flavored douche.

1448
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:02,880
I think that is one.

1449
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:06,880
I think that that would probably sell really well in a certain demographic.

1450
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,320
You know, the one who likes the deep fried foods.

1451
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:10,800
She had these different flavored douches.

1452
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,000
I mean, that one would win out clearly.

1453
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,000
Yeah.

1454
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,000
Yeah.

1455
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,000
You'd have like a.

1456
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,000
It's like dessert.

1457
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,000
No kale.

1458
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:23,680
The peanut butter flavored one is sounds okay, but I kind of need some jelly or something

1459
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:24,680
to go with it.

1460
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:28,720
The kale one is the one you have to use on like during the lint or something.

1461
00:59:28,720 --> 00:59:29,720
Yeah.

1462
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:30,720
Yeah.

1463
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:31,720
It's like, yeah, it's lint.

1464
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,880
I gave up meats and I'm going to eat this stuff with like virtually no taste.

1465
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:36,880
Yeah.

1466
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:37,880
Yeah.

1467
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,000
And then we have the really tasty douches for lint.

1468
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,000
For lint.

1469
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000
We're using the kale.

1470
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:43,000
It shows God I'm serious.

1471
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:46,640
You know, God looks down and goes, oh, kale?

1472
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:47,640
You're going to heaven.

1473
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:48,640
Yeah.

1474
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,640
That's a lot of dedication eating that bullshit.

1475
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,640
Eating that scam.

1476
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:55,640
Yeah.

1477
00:59:55,640 --> 01:00:01,520
See, that's, that's, that's how I know God doesn't want us to eat kale because God doesn't

1478
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:02,520
want us to suffer.

1479
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:03,520
That's true.

1480
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:04,520
God loves us.

1481
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:05,520
He doesn't want us to eat kale.

1482
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:06,520
It's biblical.

1483
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,120
I'm pretty sure somewhere it says kale is bullshit.

1484
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:10,120
Yeah.

1485
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:11,120
Yeah.

1486
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:12,120
Okay.

1487
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:13,120
Maybe it doesn't, but anyway.

1488
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,040
Let's start the rumor as of right now.

1489
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,200
Kale is bullshit.

1490
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,200
Kale is bullshit.

1491
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,460
And if you like kale, you are an insufferable prick.

1492
01:00:21,460 --> 01:00:25,640
Remember that, that plastic parsley they used to serve on your restaurant plate.

1493
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,280
That stuff tastes better.

1494
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:28,720
That actually is what kale is.

1495
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:32,040
They just, they just got better at, you know, printing out the plastic.

1496
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,440
Oh, it's like today's artificial turf.

1497
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:36,680
You can't tell from grass.

1498
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,200
Well kale is that artificial parsley.

1499
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,200
Yep.

1500
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:46,000
It doesn't actually grow out of the soil so much as is, you know, 3D printed out of plastic

1501
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,000
come this.

1502
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:48,480
You know, Mark Zuckerberg likes kale.

1503
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,080
Mark Zuckerberg is kale.

1504
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:53,920
Yeah, he's, he is coconut oil infused kale.

1505
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:54,920
He is.

1506
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:55,920
Wow.

1507
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:56,920
That makes me want to hurl this right now.

1508
01:00:56,920 --> 01:01:22,120
Christopher, you know our elaborate prank section, right?

1509
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:23,120
Mm hmm.

1510
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:24,120
Okay.

1511
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:25,120
Well, I've got one for you.

1512
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,120
It's about Babel snatch, have I?

1513
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:28,120
No.

1514
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:29,120
Okay.

1515
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,120
Even if I did, just say I didn't know.

1516
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,640
You know, there's nothing about Babel snatch.

1517
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:33,640
Yeah.

1518
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:35,280
I would think I would remember a name like Babel snatch.

1519
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:36,280
Okay.

1520
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:37,280
So.

1521
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,360
Well, Babel snatch, this is back in the 80s, probably mid 80s, best guess.

1522
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:44,360
Could have been 87 at the latest, but anyhow.

1523
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:48,440
Yeah, I used to go to the 7-Eleven in Belvedere, which isn't there now.

1524
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:52,560
It was knocked down and then replaced way later by a quick trip.

1525
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:56,960
But anyhow, I used to go in there all the time and you know, go in there and buy sodas

1526
01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:03,080
and shit and whatever, you know, rolling papers for my friends, not for me.

1527
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:05,320
And anyhow, you know, just shit like that.

1528
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:08,800
So anyhow, there's this guy in there.

1529
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:13,160
He, I don't know, you know, I think he hated long hairs or something, but hey, I noticed

1530
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:15,320
he was nice to everybody but me.

1531
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:19,760
Like I'd be like third in line and anyhow, you know, the first guy, Hey, Mr. Jones, how

1532
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:20,760
you doing?

1533
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:21,760
Oh man.

1534
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:22,760
Yeah.

1535
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:23,760
Yeah.

1536
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:24,760
Yeah.

1537
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:25,760
Everything's going good, man.

1538
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,760
I got the got the old tourists running really good.

1539
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:29,760
Yeah.

1540
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:30,760
Yeah.

1541
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:31,760
Come by man.

1542
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:35,760
Well, the old tourists, you know, I come up there 142.

1543
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,760
So how you doing?

1544
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:39,760
142.

1545
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:40,760
Okay.

1546
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:42,760
And I'm like, what the hell?

1547
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:44,760
How come this guy hates me?

1548
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:48,760
And every time I go in there, nicest pie to everybody, but me, it's like, just like,

1549
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:51,760
it'd be 249.

1550
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,760
So, uh, well, there's pretty nice out there.

1551
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:55,760
Thanks.

1552
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:56,760
Bye.

1553
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:57,760
Motherfucker.

1554
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,760
So he did this so many times and he just never talked to me.

1555
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:02,760
He wouldn't even like hardly look at me, you know?

1556
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:06,760
So, and I never did nothing to this fucker that I know of, you know, maybe someone said

1557
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:11,760
something like this guy said, you know, that you're a dick or maybe someone screw him like,

1558
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,760
Hey man, you think you got a nice ass?

1559
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:18,760
Whatever the fucking deal was, the guy was just a complete tool bag to me constantly.

1560
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:20,760
So I was like, hi bitch.

1561
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:22,760
So I go home and I think about it.

1562
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:23,760
Okay.

1563
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:28,760
So I start calling up and I go, Hey, uh, you got any Babel snatch gum?

1564
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:29,760
What?

1565
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:30,760
Babel snatch.

1566
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:34,760
I mean, everybody, I mean, I bought it from there a couple of weeks ago.

1567
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,760
Stuff is fucking awesome, man.

1568
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,760
I'll tell you what, man, you know, talk to your manager about it.

1569
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,760
Is this like a breath freshener?

1570
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,760
I don't, you know, maybe a bubble gum.

1571
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:48,760
I just came up with it and any other guy, he bent on it.

1572
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:52,760
You know, he was like, Oh yeah, I'll check on it for you.

1573
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:53,760
Hey, thanks man.

1574
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:54,760
I appreciate it.

1575
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,760
So anyhow, so I called back a little bit later.

1576
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:57,760
Yeah.

1577
01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:02,760
Someone called earlier, you know, and anyhow, I'm sure we have it here somewhere, but you know,

1578
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,760
I'll talk to my manager about it tonight and we'll see what we can do.

1579
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,760
So anyhow, I have a couple other people call it about Babel snatch gum.

1580
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:12,760
And, you know, and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, we're, we're working on getting it in.

1581
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:13,760
Okay.

1582
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:18,760
You know, the regional manager, we called him and he said that he was going to work on getting it in here.

1583
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:22,760
And, and I go, well, you know, I bought it the other day and it's just so good.

1584
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:23,760
And they believe me.

1585
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:26,760
I go, man, this gum is just so great tasting.

1586
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,760
And he's like, it's Babel snatch, right?

1587
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:29,760
Yeah.

1588
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:30,760
Babel snatch.

1589
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:31,760
That's the name of it.

1590
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:32,760
Okay.

1591
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:33,760
All right.

1592
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:36,760
I would have loved to listen into the conversation when he's asking the regional manager about it.

1593
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,760
Asking the regional manager about Babel snatch.

1594
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:40,760
Oh yeah.

1595
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:46,760
So, you know, anyhow, I called down there the next day and I go, Hey man, you know, you got that Babel snatch gum.

1596
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:48,760
You know, the guy's like, Oh, hang on, hang on.

1597
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:49,760
I think it's in, we just had a load.

1598
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:50,760
Hang on.

1599
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:54,760
So anyhow, so the guy's like, you know, and this is the guy I hated, the Paul guy.

1600
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,760
So anyhow, he's like, yeah, hang on a second.

1601
01:04:56,760 --> 01:05:00,760
So I hear him like, yeah, I'm going to go to the back there and it's in one of the boxes.

1602
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:02,760
I said it was coming in today.

1603
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:04,760
So, all right, no big deal.

1604
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:08,760
So I hear him go back, I hear some rustling and a couple of people come in and then he stops.

1605
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:09,760
He goes up there.

1606
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:11,760
Oh yeah, it'd be 1242.

1607
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:12,760
Okay.

1608
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:13,760
Thank you.

1609
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:14,760
Have a good day.

1610
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:15,760
And then he helps someone else.

1611
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:16,760
I hear him go back again.

1612
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:17,760
I hear him rustling through some more boxes.

1613
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:19,760
Meanwhile, I'm laughing my ass off.

1614
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:25,760
Anyhow, this guy, he like for like 20 minutes is looking for Babel snatch gum.

1615
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:31,760
So, so anyhow, so like finally, like a half hour later he comes back.

1616
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,760
He goes, man, he goes, look, I know we're going to have it in by the end of the day.

1617
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,760
I talked to my manager.

1618
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:37,760
Okay.

1619
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:38,760
All right, man.

1620
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:39,760
All right.

1621
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:41,760
I'll come in at night and I'll get some gum and save some for me, man.

1622
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:42,760
Okay.

1623
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:43,760
My name's Billy.

1624
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:44,760
I'll be in.

1625
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:45,760
Okay.

1626
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:46,760
Okay.

1627
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:47,760
All right.

1628
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:48,760
I'll save you some Babel snatch gum.

1629
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:49,760
No problem.

1630
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,760
So a couple of hours later, I call up and I talked to the manager.

1631
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:54,760
Manager's like, yeah, yeah, I ordered some a couple of days ago and it should be in.

1632
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,760
If it's not in right now, it's going to be in by the end of the day.

1633
01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:58,760
I guarantee you.

1634
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:02,760
So I don't know how the hell they ordered it because there's, there was no such thing

1635
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:03,760
as Babel snatch gum.

1636
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:08,760
I made the shut up and all of a sudden, I mean, everybody wanted this fucking Babel snatch

1637
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:10,760
gum and it never did exist.

1638
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,760
Matter of fact, this prank got so good to where I ended up.

1639
01:06:13,760 --> 01:06:18,760
This is, you know, in the eighties before digital cameras even, let alone, you know,

1640
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:22,760
there are phone cameras and all the, you know, Photoshop and everything.

1641
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:23,760
No internet.

1642
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:27,760
No, we had to like cut stuff out of wrappers and stuff and make a fake Babel snatch gum.

1643
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:32,760
And take an old fashion, fashion, like a Polaroid type of picture.

1644
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:33,760
I forgot what it was.

1645
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:36,760
It could be one of those little box cameras back then.

1646
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:40,760
Probably the only thing I could afford, you know, we actually took a picture of the Babel

1647
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:43,760
snatch gum and a guy went in there.

1648
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:44,760
He goes, Hey man, I need this.

1649
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,760
The guy's like, I know, I know, I know, man, we're working on getting it in.

1650
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:48,760
It's hard to get, man.

1651
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:50,760
Everybody wants this Babel snatch gum.

1652
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:54,760
So anyhow, I guess the whole moral of the story is, is don't be a dick to me because

1653
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:56,760
then I'll do something like that.

1654
01:06:56,760 --> 01:07:00,760
And even now to this day, I'll have a couple of people on my friends list every now and

1655
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:02,760
then like send me a little message.

1656
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:03,760
They'll go Babel snatch.

1657
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:10,760
I'm like, ah, what time I was like working up in fucking New York or something.

1658
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:15,760
And all of a sudden I get a ding and like I'm on top of this fucking skyscraper there,

1659
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:18,760
putting in glass and I look down and it says Babel snatch.

1660
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:22,760
I'm like, fuck.

1661
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:28,760
I'm up there dying this glass about ready to fall and kill a hundred people.

1662
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:32,760
They recover your body and they look at your phone and well, the last text you received

1663
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:33,760
said Babel snatch.

1664
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:37,760
We better look into this.

1665
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:42,760
By some guy named dirt bag.

1666
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:48,760
So anyhow, that is my elaborate prank section of this, unless we throw some more in there.

1667
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,760
But anyhow, Babel snatch, never forget it.

1668
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:54,760
This name lives on.

1669
01:07:54,760 --> 01:08:07,760
Hey, where'd they go?

1670
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,760
Where the douchebags.

1671
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:11,760
Oh my God.

1672
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:13,760
Someone took a dump in the corner.

1673
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,760
Oh geez.

1674
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:16,760
Glad they're gone.

1675
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:19,760
Let's just hope they don't come back.

1676
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:46,760
Man, that smells.