1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Meanwhile... 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,000 At the White House... 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Tick-tock! 4 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Damn you! 5 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Get off my lawn! 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Damn kids! 7 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:18,000 Live from the historic River Market District of downtown Kansas City, Missouri 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,000 From the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River 9 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,000 It is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Oh shit! 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000 What's that over there? 12 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,000 Oh no! 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 It's the island of horrible jokes! 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Ugh! 15 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:44,000 If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:49,000 I will kill him with my bare hands! 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:57,000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 18 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:03,000 Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags 19 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:10,000 Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3...2...1... 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back! 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,000 All right, two douchebags and a microphone 22 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000 Mark? 23 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000 And I'm Topher 24 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:26,000 All right, we are back at the city market and we are doing what we believe is a good cause 25 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:33,000 I mean, we're reading up statistics the other day on the...what would you call it? 26 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,000 The prejudice or the... 27 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Intolerance, lack of acceptance 28 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000 Yeah, of men in booty shorts 29 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 Yeah 30 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,000 So Topher and I are both in booty shorts 31 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:50,000 And we're doing this program ASS UP to prove that booty shorts can look good on men 32 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,000 Yeah, yeah, and it's not exactly warm here either 33 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000 No, no 34 00:01:55,000 --> 00:02:01,000 And I have to admit, I mean, I did put a little blush underneath my ass cheeks to make it look a little better 35 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,000 So I hope I didn't stage you up by having a little bit of color on my ass 36 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 That's fine, that's fine 37 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 Instead of it being pretty much see-through 38 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 Yeah 39 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,000 Yeah, because I am seasonal 40 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,000 That's true, you are 41 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 Yes 42 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,000 Well, I've got to make sure my hemorrhoid doesn't hang out the side here, so if I'm shifting in my seat, I'm trying to tuck that thing back in 43 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:23,000 Oh, I've got an old RC bottle that I do that with, I just like...goes in there 44 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Works great 45 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,000 All right 46 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000 Anyhow 47 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000 Hope you all weren't eating it while we were introducing this 48 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000 I hope you were 49 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Oh yeah 50 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:39,000 So anyway, yeah, raising...trying to raise the acceptance for men wearing booty booty shorts 51 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Yes 52 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:48,000 And that kind of, you know, that's interesting because it kind of ties in with something I saw the other day for the first time 53 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:55,000 Is a cosmetics commercial that had young men in amongst the young women as users of the cosmetics 54 00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:00,000 You know how they have, you know, different models will flash on the screen for like a third of a second 55 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,000 And at least twice it was young men 56 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,000 Yep 57 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:10,000 And you know, no implication of sexual orientation or gender identity 58 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,000 It was just, you know, he looked outwardly like a young man 59 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:19,000 And apparently that was his choice because, you know, that was his makeup look 60 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:25,000 So I feel safe in not offending anybody in their tiny fists by saying it was a young man 61 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:33,000 But that's the first time I've actually seen a mainstream cosmetics company in their commercial including young men 62 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:39,000 So I thought, well, this is pretty cool because as you said, there's an enormous market for it 63 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:50,000 The young men and whatever other age men who want to wear cosmetics have to shop for women's cosmetics or stage makeup kind of stuff 64 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000 So why not market cosmetics directly to men? 65 00:03:53,000 --> 00:04:02,000 It's really not that different from cologne or like skin creams or hair dye 66 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:07,000 We discussed this topic on the way down here because Tofer's idea came to his head 67 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,000 And it's a very good idea because I really, this subject I find pretty interesting on a lot of different levels 68 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,000 But I mean, a lot of people of certain age would know this 69 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:23,000 But there was this detective lawyer show on for many years called Perry Mason 70 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:28,000 Yeah, that was the famous one where he never lost a case except once 71 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000 One time 72 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000 One time as a gimmick, yeah 73 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,000 But he would always win his case 74 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Yeah, and it's always against Mr. Berger, was it? 75 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,000 I don't know. I usually didn't watch Perry Mason 76 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Berger was the prosecuting attorney, I think, or something 77 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Oh, yeah, because he was Ironsides, not Ironsides, but Perry Mason 78 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 He was Ironsides, that was Raymond Berger 79 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000 Right, they had a different show 80 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:58,000 But he was a defense attorney and he would usually get his client off by making it clear that somebody else had done the crime 81 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Yes, yeah 82 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,000 Anyway, so yeah, you were saying about that show 83 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Okay, he wore eyeliner 84 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 The actor? 85 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Yeah, the actor, and it really brought him out whenever he would make a point 86 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,000 It made him a certain amount of stage presence 87 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Yeah, his eyes got very dramatic at those moments 88 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Yes, he was really well at facial or acting, physical acting, not just his dialect 89 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000 But a big part of that was eyeliner 90 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,000 It didn't make him look feminine 91 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000 No? 92 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,000 Nothing, it just made him look more believable 93 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:44,000 It's interesting, a lot of what people would object to is intent 94 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:51,000 Because we will look at actors and actresses or the people reading the news to us and they've got makeup on 95 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:56,000 And the intent is so they look a certain way on screen 96 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:10,000 So the intent is different than say a 24-year-old man who goes and puts on what most people would be considered feminine or feminine style of makeup 97 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000 The intent is different 98 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:20,000 So that's where people get bent, is well this makeup on a man is okay, but that makeup on a man is not okay 99 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,000 If you're fractioning it out like that, then I guess you're kind of an idiot anymore 100 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:31,000 I mean think of all these Trumpers, Trump put tons of makeup on every time before he gets on the camera 101 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:36,000 So you're already okay with a man wearing makeup if you support Donald Trump 102 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:40,000 It's just get over other men wearing makeup for other reasons 103 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000 What's their big deal? 104 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,000 Yeah, and then another thing is this right here 105 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,000 They also do things what they call outlines 106 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:54,000 And that's where they draw an outline around the people to bring them like blush does on people 107 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,000 The blush is an outline for your cheekbones 108 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000 Yeah 109 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Okay 110 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:04,000 And like there's eyeliner to make, you know, define the point where your eye meets your skin 111 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Draw an outline on the people to follow the people to make them more prominent in the whole background scheme 112 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Right, they kind of pop out of their surroundings a little bit 113 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Yeah, there's like three news people there and they got their laptops and they're talking and yeah this, this and this 114 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:24,000 So if you're looking at without an outline on because I've seen this before, I've seen some of the behind the scenes stuff 115 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,000 I think we probably all have whether on TV or whatever, but the deal is this right here 116 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:34,000 If they don't have that outline on, it doesn't look as believable 117 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Yeah, yeah, it looks fake 118 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 It doesn't look like they're really there 119 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,000 You put that outline on, it's like oh they're there, look at it, it's more 3D I guess 120 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,000 Yeah, yeah, they tend to look like a flat cardboard cutout without it 121 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:53,000 But it gives definition and depth to them and it makes it look more the way people look when you're looking at them in real life 122 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,000 You know, I'm looking at you directly across the table 123 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 Yeah 124 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:03,000 And no one is painting in an outline around you, but my eyes are kind of doing that in the way I focus 125 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 Exactly 126 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Or the way my brain is interpreting it 127 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:16,000 So that's not necessarily, you know, evil fakery, it's just trying to make a more realistic and believable appearance 128 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:25,000 But the makeup, I don't know, a lot of times that makeup is, they say well it's to counteract the heavy lights 129 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,000 You know, these lights will bleach you out 130 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:35,000 But sometimes the makeup is to make them look younger or more tan or more fit 131 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Or all the above 132 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:44,000 Or yeah, and that's where it gets to be makeup as, what did you say, camouflage I guess is a good term 133 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000 Camouflage would be a good term, yeah 134 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,000 So, and not that there's anything wrong with that, if people want to do that, you know, sure, more private to you 135 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 No, no 136 00:08:52,000 --> 00:09:02,000 I thought it would be kind of interesting, the cosmetics companies I'm sure would love to get society to the point where everybody 137 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Regardless of gender or sexual identity wore makeup 138 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,000 Because you know, they'd sell more, they'd love that 139 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:15,000 But how interesting would that be to where a young man and young woman would go out on a date 140 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:20,000 And the woman who's used to being the pretty one looks at her young man and says, ooh, he's prettier than I am 141 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Yeah, oops 142 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,000 Yeah, I think that's where it's going to start faltering 143 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 Yeah 144 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:31,000 And then it's going to be like where like women are like, I'm not going to go out with a guy that like looks better than me 145 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:35,000 But I think it's going to end up happening like that, they're going to go, no, it's just not going to happen 146 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000 Yeah 147 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Well, if there develops some splinter group of women who feel that it's unfair for men to wear makeup 148 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,000 No cosmetics company is going to support them 149 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,000 I agree 150 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 Because there's no money in that 151 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000 I agree 152 00:09:53,000 --> 00:10:00,000 So it's one of those things that if people don't like it, for whatever reason, I think you're just going to have to get used to it 153 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Because the tide of money to be made is pretty much going to wash everything away 154 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000 Yeah 155 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:15,000 So I don't know, but for some people I'm sure it's fun or gives meaning to their life to hate on something or rally against something 156 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000 Or I've got to have some knee shorts 157 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000 Yeah, yeah, well, no, it's true 158 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,000 And anyhow, well, like I said, we're still here in our booty shorts 159 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000 Some people ran off screaming 160 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper 161 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,000 It's strange insults from an alien 162 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000 Real hilarity 163 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Don't be ashamed of who you are 164 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000 That's your parents job 165 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:43,000 One group of people went by and I could hear one of them shushing somebody 166 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Because they saw the microphone and the laptop and stuff 167 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,000 So I think we should get a sign and put it up 168 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 Make noise 169 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000 It said, yeah, podcast in progress, please make noise 170 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000 Yeah 171 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:00,000 The whole idea why we're here is not so we can have a clean, controlled background 172 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:06,000 No, we could go do it at the Dock is Cheap or the No Filter Studio and make it sound a lot better, but we don't 173 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000 So we're never going to shush anybody that wanders by 174 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 No, that's what we want 175 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000 When you start throwing bodily fluids, that becomes a different 176 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000 Yeah, that's why our banner is in the shop 177 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000 It got dissolved a little bit 178 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000 Somebody threw something disgusting on it 179 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,000 Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it was piss, but 180 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 Yeah 181 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,000 You know what? Just, you know, just, you know, devil's advocate 182 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,000 It could have been a yellow substance that smelled just like piss 183 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Like Mountain Dew 184 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Yeah, yeah 185 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,000 It could have been Mountain Dew 186 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000 Yeah, it could have been Mountain Dew 187 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 Oh, I saw a video of them 188 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000 This would be very quick 189 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,000 I saw a video that was very disturbing 190 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:48,000 This is something that somebody apparently is starting to try to start as a new trend or challenge, a video challenge 191 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 Oh, no 192 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:54,000 You know, like you've had the Tide Pod and the challenge and the ice bucket challenge and the piss your pants challenge 193 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:59,000 This is you find a random bag of garbage 194 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:05,000 Have someone hold it up and clip the bottom corner and drink, you drink the garbage juice as it runs out 195 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,000 And video yourself doing that 196 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:13,000 Wow, that's people who don't have enough to do in their lives, you know 197 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:20,000 Well, all I got to say is this is, okay, go any public place that's going to be full of people 198 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,000 Walk around and you'll understand why people do that 199 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Well, maybe not understand 200 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000 You'll believe it 201 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000 You'll kind of, yeah, you'll kind of get it 202 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Yeah, yeah 203 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000 People are desperate to get noticed 204 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 We're about 20 generations deep 205 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,000 I, I, I, me, me, me 206 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,000 That's what you get 207 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 Yeah 208 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 Yep 209 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:44,000 Then you know, it's like the people who were licking doorknobs during the height of COVID as a challenge 210 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,000 And, you know, a number of them died of COVID, a number of them got sick 211 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000 It's 212 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Which was fine because like I, like I was saying earlier to some other people 213 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:59,000 Those were the people that were got eaten by lions in the jungle 214 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,000 They were the slow natives 215 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 Yeah 216 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000 They were the ones that like weren't smart enough to get up in a tree 217 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,000 They're kind of like, hey, look at that, gone 218 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000 You know, we were already in the tree 219 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000 Yeah 220 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Well, they were sitting there looking at it going, man, that's a pretty lion 221 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:18,000 And, you know, I think the reason that we're kind of hardwired to look and rubber-nack and watch 222 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Is so we learn and we see, you know, hey, look, this person did something really stupid 223 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000 Wow, look at the price they're paying 224 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000 So, yeah, don't do it, yeah 225 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 Yeah 226 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:32,000 We can't look away from the dumpster fire because that reinforces how smart we were to not do what they did 227 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000 We just ran people off and didn't even mean to 228 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000 The guy looked over to you, let's go down here and eat 229 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,000 I didn't even drop the F-bomb or anything 230 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 No 231 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,000 I think they're being considerate, today's considerate day, what the hell 232 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000 Well, we are wearing booty shorts 233 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000 Well, yeah, oh, that's what scared them off, yeah 234 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000 And my nipples have gotten very hard 235 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,000 Yeah, well, I left, he accidentally got out a little bit 236 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Oh 237 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,000 So that could have been 238 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000 Showing a little brain, huh? 239 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Yeah, showing a little brain and that could have done it, you know, so 240 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Have you heard about the new El Salvador president? 241 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 Oh, he's kind of new 242 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Yeah, nothing much 243 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,000 I know he's got some radical bold new ideas 244 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Yes, he does and they seem to be working 245 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 Cool, what's he doing? 246 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000 I'll go through some of this 247 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,000 Okay, since 2019, El Salvador has had a new young president 248 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,000 His name is Naib Bukele-Ortiz 249 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 Okay 250 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,000 So, he is the 43rd president of the country 251 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000 Naib is only 41 years old 252 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000 So he got in with an IQ of 39 253 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000 Wow, imagine if we elected younger people 254 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000 I'm sorry, you know, back in the day 255 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000 I understand that they needed all this experience 256 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,000 Nowadays, things are so hyper, you know, we have these kid geniuses and stuff 257 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000 We need somebody more in touch 258 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,000 35, I think, is a better answer 259 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,000 That's the minimum currently, I think that should be more about what we aim for 260 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 I think 35 is the minimum age 261 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000 Oh, 35 262 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:59,000 As you can be 30 should be minimum and 60 maximum 263 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000 Yeah, yeah 264 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000 But then you get cries of ageism 265 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Yeah, fuck them 266 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 Anyway, back to your story 267 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,000 If you have any questions at all, look at current dumb dumb 268 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 And listen to anything that he has to say 269 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,000 And you'll understand exactly what we're fucking talking about 270 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,000 And I don't care if he has an R or a D in front of him 271 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 The guy's fucking losing it 272 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 He doesn't have much to work with 273 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Well, you know, the Vatican learned their lesson by electing popes who had one foot in the grave already 274 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:35,000 The former Soviet Union learned their lesson when they were electing chairman of the Communist Party 275 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,000 Which is basically their leader 276 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,000 And they die within six months 277 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Of course, some of that was because they were old, some of that was because they were murdered 278 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 They were murdered, yeah 279 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000 But anyway, so, you know, people learned their lesson 280 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,000 If you really want to get technical or actually factual 281 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:55,000 Yeah, but it falls into the well, we've always done it this way category 282 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000 Which pisses me off 283 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 And where's that got us? 284 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 Oh, really? 285 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,000 So, El Salvador has a huge crime gang problem with MS-13 286 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000 I've heard of them 287 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Yeah, and you know where they came from, don't you? 288 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000 California, basically 289 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000 Oh, okay, I thought they were 290 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,000 I don't think they came from down there and knew if they were traded up here 291 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 I thought they originated in Central America or 292 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Maybe their very first origins, but when they got their start, I do believe 293 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000 I'll have to look it up, but they were taught what 294 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 They pretty much flourished in LA 295 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000 Yeah, they flourished in LA 296 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,000 And the prison system 297 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Yes, the prison system specifically 298 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Yeah 299 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000 Because they run it 300 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Yeah 301 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,000 So when Naib took office, I mean, they literally do, not on paper 302 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,000 But in every other facet, they run it 303 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:41,000 So when Naib took office, he said that anyone with an MS-13 tattoo was going to prison 304 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000 They have tattoos on their face, you know 305 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,000 Yeah, they're pretty much required to be proud of their 306 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Yeah 307 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000 No hiding or skulking, you know, you gotta be out and proud about your 308 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,000 They were like right out there killing people in front with their MS-13 tattoos on their face 309 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000 They're like, fuck you, what are you gonna do about it? 310 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000 Yeah, then they spray graffiti somewhere bragging about it and taking credit for it 311 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:05,000 Yeah, with their, yeah, so if a kid was underage, he still was going for 10 years 312 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Mm 313 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 So the prison 314 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 That's pretty impressive 315 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,000 A couple years ago, okay, the 40,000 person capacity mega prison 316 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000 Mm-hmm 317 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,000 Largest prison on earth by far, double 318 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000 The second largest is in Turkey, and that's 20,000 319 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000 Wow 320 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000 Yeah, in Turkey's prisons, we won't even go into there 321 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Yeah 322 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000 You don't want to be in one 323 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Was it Midnight Run, Midnight Express? 324 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000 Yeah 325 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 One of those two movies 326 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000 One was comedy, the other wasn't 327 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Midnight Inks, Midnight Inks, run 328 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,000 Yeah, you know what, I don't know, I'll look it up later 329 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,000 The president okayed a 40,000 person capacity mega prison 330 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,000 Largest prison on earth by far, the other closest, 20,000 in Turkey 331 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 To house all the new inmates 332 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 He also said that the chicken that was used to feed the inmates 333 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Was paid by tax money from all the victims' parents 334 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:56,000 So he took away all the chicken, and now the inmates only receive rice 335 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,000 Oh, wow 336 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 But he's not stopping there 337 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Oh, there's more to do 338 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000 You know what he's going to take away with their dish network and their weight room 339 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 I bet they don't know 340 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 Here he would have to 341 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Yeah, there they never put him in 342 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,000 So now the MS-13 squad seems to be running scared 343 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Anyhow, he also took away all their clothing 344 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000 Wow 345 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,000 And he said that if the parents of these thugs want to pay for their clothing, that's fine 346 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000 They can have clothing 347 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:33,000 But again, the taxpayers are the people that these thugs killed 348 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 Right 349 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000 Or got on drugs, or did whatever 350 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Or raped, or pillaged, or whatever 351 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000 Every citizen of the country is a victim of these guys 352 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,000 Yeah, so they're not paying for clothes either 353 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:49,000 And like he said, if you had this piece of shit, go ahead and clothe them 354 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 All right, that's fine 355 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,000 I bet their parents could probably send food to them if they wanted to 356 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000 If they hadn't pissed off their whole family 357 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000 If I was them, I'd take the food and sell it 358 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,000 Fuck them 359 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,000 So anyhow, some of them, they're running scared 360 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000 Some of them are like putting on makeup to hide the facial tattoos 361 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,000 Some tried to hide them with other face tattoos to cover them up 362 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Wow 363 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 He said they're going to catch all of you and you're going to prison 364 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:17,000 In addition to just rice or food, the clothes are also paid for by taxpayers 365 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,000 Which I went into, I kind of went off script here, but that's all right 366 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000 I always do 367 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 That are all the victims of these horrible gangs 368 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000 So no, no more free clothing 369 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000 The prisoners do not have clothes 370 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,000 They even said that parents of the inmates can support the bill if they care that much 371 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 Which I agree 100% 372 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,000 It's like you want your little piece of crap that you run to have clothing? 373 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 Go ahead 374 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 It's not on the state 375 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000 We're not paying for it 376 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,000 All these people that you did something to someone they loved? 377 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,000 No, or you? 378 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000 You're not paying for it anymore 379 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,000 You know, El Salvador is an independent country 380 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:56,000 And they're perfectly within their rights to set their own standards 381 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000 For how they keep their prisoners 382 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000 And what they consider to be the minimum necessary 383 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,000 Human rights groups I'm sure will have a field day 384 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,000 But legally there's nothing that can be done 385 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Not until we have a global government 386 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000 Each country still has their own set of rules 387 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000 And when you're there you've got to follow them 388 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 I wish we could do that here, but we have too many fucking idiots in the way 389 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000 You can't do that! 390 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000 Well why not? 391 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:27,000 They fucking killed and fucking got people on drugs and killed people and human trafficked people 392 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 And that's another prime example 393 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,000 When people say you can't what they mean is I don't want you to 394 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 I don't want you to, exactly 395 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Because when they say you can't that's a totally different subject 396 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,000 I don't want to live in a world where someone's that fucking stupid but I have to 397 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000 So there's nothing I can do about it 398 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,000 I'd love to live in a world where I can leave my front door open all the time 399 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Yeah, that's a good answer there 400 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 I'd love to 401 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:56,000 But reality is that I could but I would have really awful consequences 402 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,000 I'd go Mr. Hand on us, so how are we to accomplish this? 403 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Huh? 404 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000 Husband Coley, how are we going to accomplish this? 405 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,000 Let me tell you how we're going to accomplish this 406 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:10,000 By taking every thug around and throwing him in prison not letting him see the light of day ever 407 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000 That's how we're going to accomplish this 408 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000 Well let's see, another good choice would be 409 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 Was that a good Mr. Hand? 410 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 That was a good Mr. Hand 411 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000 You're just saying that aren't you? 412 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000 I knew exactly who Mr. Hand was 413 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 You did? 414 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000 Yes 415 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 I know you knew who he was 416 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000 I was picturing him, yes 417 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000 I loved him, what was his name? 418 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000 The actor 419 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 He was also the Martian 420 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000 My favorite Martian 421 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000 Ray Walston 422 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Yes, he was so good 423 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Just the looks on his face were so good 424 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 I love Ray Walston 425 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,000 He could wither you with that look 426 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 I know, but I loved it 427 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 He did that dialogue, you know 428 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000 Now do you know how we're going to achieve this? 429 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000 I'll tell you how we're going to achieve this 430 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:50,000 You can see Spicoli over there kind of like looking up in the air with his mouth open 431 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:55,000 Everything's going right over Spicoli's head 432 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000 How are we going to achieve this Mr. Hand? 433 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000 Let me tell you Spicoli 434 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,000 So anyhow, alright, now that I derailed this motherfucker 435 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000 and it's like Amtrak'd all the way off the road 436 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000 Here we go 437 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 We East-Palestined ourselves 438 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000 Too soon 439 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000 Too soon, yeah 440 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000 Sorry Ohio 441 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000 Hell, they're all glowing now 442 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000 We're the least second-sons 443 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000 Who said what? 444 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,000 Oh fuck them, who cares 445 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 Growing extra heads and limbs 446 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000 So Christopher, I know you're up on everything 447 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:33,000 Okay, what do you think of the new Palm Pay by Amazon? 448 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,000 Wow, is that where you have to give a hand job in order to get your Amazon package? 449 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Yeah 450 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 Huh 451 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000 Yeah, you reach your Palm out there and go 452 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000 See, it's my Palm, give me my 453 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,000 Wow, I don't think I want to do that 454 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,000 No, me neither 455 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000 I don't think so 456 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000 So what is Palm Pay? 457 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:54,000 Well, Palm Pay is you pay with the wave of your hand 458 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,000 It's a new thing, it's part of this whole thing called Amazon One 459 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 which is alternative ways to pay 460 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000 Okay 461 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000 Okay, like you can pay with your watch 462 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000 and they're speculating like they're going to start doing eye retina 463 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,000 Yeah 464 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Or just walk in and just fucking look at something 465 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:13,000 So basically here is what I read, what they wanted to do 466 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:18,000 Now with this article came a whole bunch of baggage that I didn't want to get into 467 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 and this was the best article that I could get 468 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,000 but here's what I gather and if I'm a little bit off on this then so be it 469 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Okay 470 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,000 What Amazon wants you to do is their physical stores 471 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000 They're going to start having physical stores specifically in airports 472 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,000 So they have these Amazon stores and I have seen some of them 473 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:42,000 I think there's one up in Logan and Boston and there's one in Minneapolis maybe 474 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000 Okay 475 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,000 And then, oh well, if I'm wrong I don't know 476 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000 but there's a couple of them out there 477 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Yeah, they'll put them in major hubs to start with 478 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000 Yes, and they just have Amazon on the front of it 479 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,000 and then you go in there and it's like an, if you go on Amazon 480 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000 It's like, hey these things are on special here 481 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000 Look, look at these new tote bags, look at this 482 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,000 Glow in the dark underwear, you know, whatever 483 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,000 So what they wanted to do 484 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000 Things you can take on the airplane 485 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Exactly 486 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000 So you're in a hurry, okay 487 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,000 And let's say they have one in Las Vegas, which I don't think they do 488 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,000 Yeah 489 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000 But let's say they have one in Las Vegas International 490 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,000 And you're like, oh shit man, I got like 10 minutes to catch my flight 491 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000 but I need a pair of earbuds 492 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,000 You run in there and grab your earbuds, you wave your hand up in the air 493 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000 And that's it, it's taken care of 494 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 I've heard of something similar to this 495 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:34,000 That it was another type of store where they had scanning devices in it 496 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:39,000 that when you walked in, you would register with the store 497 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000 So when you walked in, it knew who you were 498 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,000 And then as you walked around picking up items and putting them in your basket 499 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:51,000 it would scan and recognize those items as you were shopping 500 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,000 So when you were all done, you just walk out the store with them 501 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,000 and it charges you for what it believes you have in your cart 502 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,000 Yes, and I think it was a tech store at first 503 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:03,000 It started with a tech store and then it went into other things 504 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000 I can't remember what it was, it was almost like a... 505 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,000 What was that one store? 506 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000 Shit 507 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,000 That one tech store that was really big for a long time 508 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,000 Sharper Image 509 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,000 Sharper Image, yeah 510 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000 It was like that, I think it started out like that 511 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,000 And I think, now I think it's all online 512 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,000 Yeah, and at the time people thought, wow this is cool 513 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:29,000 but it should have been recognized for what it was, as a test run 514 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,000 And because it has the handicap of people having to register in advance 515 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:38,000 give all their personal information, put all their payment information on file, get verified 516 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,000 Your way that you're talking about is anybody can walk in 517 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:48,000 and it'll scan you for some sort of ID or chip on you or something 518 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:52,000 Well what it is is, okay, this is some of what I didn't want to get into 519 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,000 because it's two pages on their contraptions, on how they work 520 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:01,000 They have this little feature thing where it reads your poem 521 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000 They send it to you 522 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,000 So it reads the poem print 523 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 Yes, and then you send it back 524 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,000 Then it goes somewhere else, maybe it doesn't even go back to the store 525 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000 It goes to another one, they're like, okay 526 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Well take it down to the USP store 527 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000 No UPS store 528 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:24,000 That's actually pretty smart because poem prints are as unique as fingerprints 529 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,000 And what's visible when you're reaching for an item? Your hand 530 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Your open palm 531 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,000 So as you reach for every item, it scans and reverifies that's you 532 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000 That's brilliant 533 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000 That really is smart 534 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,000 Wow 535 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,000 Okay, well, first thing I thought of is 536 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:46,000 I'm not going to walk into one of those stores in case I get accidentally charged 537 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000 Me too 538 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000 If their system makes a mistake 539 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000 If you reach for something and you didn't take it, they don't have to refund you shit 540 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 They go, no, we think you took it 541 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000 Yep, yep 542 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000 It's like the self checkouts at the grocery store 543 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,000 If there's a mistake in your checkout, the store is going to be 544 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000 Well, you did it yourself, it's your fault 545 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000 We're not refunding you anything 546 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000 Yeah 547 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,000 Well, my hamburger rung up three times 548 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,000 No, that's too bad 549 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000 You must have run it through three times or maybe you bought three of them 550 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000 Yeah 551 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,000 Yeah, this store is going to be the same way where if any mistake happens in their favor 552 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000 You're shit out of luck 553 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000 Yes 554 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:29,000 So, yeah, I mean, walking into a store is now going to be pretty much just like signing the end user licensing agreement 555 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000 Yeah 556 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,000 Just walking into the store is going to mean, all right, you're fair game, we get to charge you 557 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:42,000 Well, another thing is I read this article and it also went into how like 558 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:51,000 Is it AXAX, Axis or Ticketmaster or probably both AXS 559 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,000 That's a TV channel 560 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000 It's also a TV channel, AXS 561 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,000 They both promote concerts and also sell tickets 562 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:05,000 So I think it might have been Ticketmaster's looking into this according to this article 563 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,000 Or they think that they're looking into this 564 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:14,240 And it's something similar to that, to where, like you put your palm up and it tells the 565 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:20,360 guy with his reader, according to your palm, where your ticket is, and then to get into 566 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:21,360 the venue, the same thing. 567 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:25,740 You go in there, you palm, and it also helps people realize, like let's say something goes 568 00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:28,160 on there, like there's a big incident. 569 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,840 They know who all is in there. 570 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,840 Yeah. 571 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,640 Yeah, like the roof collapses, they've got a list of everybody who was in attendance. 572 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,320 Yeah, because right now, someone could buy tickets for you online. 573 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,400 It doesn't have to be you. 574 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:39,400 Yeah. 575 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,200 That'll cut down on scalping too. 576 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,040 That was the other thing I was going to go into. 577 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,640 That's going to ruin the scalping industry. 578 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,640 It will. 579 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:47,640 And I think that that's the original. 580 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,440 That's their number one idea right there. 581 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:55,160 And you know, if that ticket is forever tied to that one individual, there's no chance 582 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,440 of resale ever. 583 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:57,840 No, that's what they want. 584 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,000 That's the way the promoters want it, because every time it gets resold, they don't get 585 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000 any money out of that. 586 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,000 No, they don't want it. 587 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:07,880 Everything is sold from that one standard area, and that would be ticket master or whoever 588 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,280 is selling the ticket. 589 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,520 And best possible scenario for them is if you can't go, then you just don't go. 590 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,520 You just don't go, yeah. 591 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,520 And the seat is empty. 592 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,520 Yeah. 593 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,720 They don't want you selling it to somebody else. 594 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,000 They miss out on a couple of beers, but they don't miss out on that three times it being 595 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,640 sold. 596 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,880 Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper. 597 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,000 It's strange insults from an alien. 598 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,000 Real hilarity. 599 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000 Hey, you sure? 600 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000 Produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it and 601 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000 prove that it was just the chair. 602 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000 Oh shit, what's that over there? 603 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000 Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes. 604 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,000 If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery, I will kill him 605 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,000 with my bare hands. 606 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,000 What? 607 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,000 What? 608 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000 What? 609 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000 What? 610 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000 What? 611 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 What? 612 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000 What? 613 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000 What? 614 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,000 What? 615 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000 What? 616 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 What? 617 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,000 What? 618 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000 What? 619 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000 What? 620 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,000 What? 621 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,000 What? 622 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,000 What? 623 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,000 What? 624 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000 What? 625 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,000 What? 626 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,000 What? 627 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,000 What? 628 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000 What? 629 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,000 I hate it! 630 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,600 Oh, this is where we get worked on with this 631 00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:11,520 To roguelikes and microphone.net your one stop your 632 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:15,880 Oh God, you want to write us? 633 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,280 You want to say something to this you want to 634 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,300 look for a live button when we go live you can call in all of this stuff 635 00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:25,440 is right there for your application amplifier improvement 636 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,780 you gotta jump it's all yours to the contest 637 00:30:28,780 --> 00:30:30,640 micro source is up and running 638 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,640 Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. 639 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,640 Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. 640 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,640 Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. 641 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,640 I'm Mark and I'm Topher. 642 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,640 We're so very happy you joined us today. 643 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,640 Yes we are. 644 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,640 Were we still going to go on about 645 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,640 Ticketmaster and all that 646 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,640 or did you want to go to another subject? 647 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,640 How did we get there? 648 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,640 I can't remember. 649 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,640 It was with the new Palm Technology 650 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,640 from Amazon 651 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,640 and we're talking about how you go into an Amazon store 652 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,640 specifically in airports 653 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,640 is where they're targeting at first 654 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,640 and then they'll probably go to malls. 655 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,640 Yeah, yeah. I think I'd already 656 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,640 said everything I wanted 657 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,640 to bring up in that spot. 658 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,640 It made me think of something else 659 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,640 that was a different subject. 660 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,640 Well, the floor is yours. 661 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,640 Alright. 662 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,640 In a recent podcast 663 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,640 I mentioned a video game called 664 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,640 Skyrim 665 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,640 where they had AI and the... 666 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,640 I forgot the X-rated one, Skyrim Job. 667 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,640 Oh, nasty. 668 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,640 I really don't want to go into what happened to me 669 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,640 but I'm still going through therapy. 670 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,640 Yeah, I can imagine. 671 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,640 Anyway, a similar game... 672 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,640 I heard Robbie like Skyrim Job. 673 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,640 That's what I heard. 674 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,640 A similar game called Fallout 4 675 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,640 is really popular as well. 676 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,640 There's a lot of... 677 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,640 It's also an open world game. 678 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,640 It's set in a post-nuclear apocalypse. 679 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,640 There is a ton 680 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,640 of dialogue but not a whole lot 681 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,640 of role playing that can be done during the game. 682 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,640 A recent 683 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,640 mod for the game though came out 684 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,640 this is only for the PC 685 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,640 version because the 686 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,640 game consoles don't have the capacity 687 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,640 to handle something like this. 688 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,640 What they've done 689 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,640 is they've added 690 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,640 an enormous amount of new dialogue 691 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,640 options. 692 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,640 In the game when you want to talk to somebody 693 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,640 you walk up and you click on them 694 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,640 and you greet them 695 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,640 and then a whole list of dialogue 696 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,640 options appears. There's usually like 697 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,640 three. And then depending on 698 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,640 the one you use the person responds 699 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,640 in a certain way. And these 700 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,640 have all been pre-recorded with voice 701 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,640 actors. It's part of the 702 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,640 game. If you play the game three or four 703 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,640 times you've heard pretty much every 704 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,640 line everybody has to say. 705 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,640 It gets pretty tiresome. But what 706 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,640 this mod did is it used 707 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,640 what's called Prime Voice 708 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,640 AI. It's an artificial 709 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,640 intelligence voice creator. 710 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,640 And it listened 711 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,640 to the voices in the game 712 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,640 and then replicated 713 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,640 them. And all you have to do is type 714 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,640 in new dialogue 715 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,640 and this voice AI 716 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,640 spits it out exactly 717 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,640 in the same voice as the original voice actor 718 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,640 did. It's indistinguishable. 719 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,640 Isn't that amazing? Yeah. 720 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,640 So this got me 721 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,640 thinking voice actors 722 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,640 are going to go out of business. 723 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,640 Because all they have to do is record your voice 724 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,640 saying a certain amount and they can replicate 725 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,640 it perfectly. And they can have you 726 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,640 saying things you never said before. 727 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,640 And it'll sound exactly like you. 728 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,640 Do you know all the stuff that's going to be on the internet 729 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,640 now? So and so 730 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,640 said that he loved Hitler and he wants to be 731 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,640 a neo-Nazi or whatever. And then they never 732 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,640 said that. Someone just took and used their voice 733 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,640 and... Well it's used as part 734 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,640 of the deepfake. 735 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,640 Where they have a video that's 736 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,640 put together by an AI using 737 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,640 video 738 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,640 or existing video stills 739 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,640 and then sound capture of the person's 740 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,640 voice and it replicates and it really 741 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,640 sounds like that person is saying 742 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,640 that and then the video looks like they're doing that. 743 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,640 Deepfake has been around a few years and I'll tell you 744 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,640 what you can really 745 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,640 whenever you see anything like that it makes 746 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,640 you always wonder 747 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,640 if someone was like really 748 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,640 blatant and then I bet a lot of people get set up 749 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,640 like that too. Yeah. 750 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,640 But it was 751 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,640 interesting yet somehow chilling to 752 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,640 see that it is so 753 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,640 accessible now that for 754 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,640 entertainment purposes just 755 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,640 some person who decided to modify 756 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,640 this game was able to 757 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,640 access it and create 758 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,640 hundreds of hours of new 759 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,640 spoken dialogue without using 760 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,640 a single human being. 761 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,640 Wow. Yeah and it exactly 762 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,640 sounds like every character in that game. 763 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,640 That guy's going to be a millionaire too. 764 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,640 That's amazing. 765 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,640 And the opportunity to 766 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,640 you can resurrect long dead movie 767 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,640 stars and they can 768 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,640 Like let's see you can have 769 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,640 Humphrey Bogart 770 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,640 selling 771 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,640 chicken wings. 772 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,640 Just like 773 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,640 Well how about this? Here's looking at you 774 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,640 kid how about a nice chicken wing? 775 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,640 Was that him? I don't know who not. 776 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,640 David Grohl and 777 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,640 Chris Novoselic 778 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,640 can get back together and write new songs for 779 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,640 Nirvana and have Kurt 780 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,640 Cobain sing them. 781 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,640 Using this AI voice creator. 782 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,640 I would adore 783 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,640 that. Isn't that amazing to think of? 784 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,640 I want to see what Jimi Hendrix does next. 785 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,640 And I think Dave Grohl and 786 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,640 Chris Novoselic have 787 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,640 control of Cobain's 788 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:34,640 estate because they knew if 789 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,640 Courtney Love had it she would blow it all 790 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,640 on drugs. Yes. And probably 791 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,640 kill herself and her daughter in the process. 792 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,640 It's kind of like the opposite of what's 793 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,640 going on with Soundgarden. 794 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,640 Where Cornell's 795 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,640 widow is suing him and getting all this 796 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,640 stuff where I think isn't it the opposite 797 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,640 of 798 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,640 they're suing Courtney Love to try to get 799 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,640 her off of everything and out of everything. 800 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,640 Yeah I think he left it to 801 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,640 her but then the band mates took her 802 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,640 to court and said she needs a 803 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,640 guardian and a conservator because she can't 804 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,640 handle it. Yes. If you've ever seen the 805 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,640 movie Casino where Sharon Stone 806 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,640 is just out of control. 807 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,640 That's what Courtney Love would have wound up. 808 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,640 Dying in some random hotel room 809 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,640 hallway. 810 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,640 But 811 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,640 whoever owns the musical rights 812 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,640 I mean they could have 813 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,640 him singing existing songs 814 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,640 but who would have the rights 815 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,640 to replicate his voice 816 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,640 on a brand new project? 817 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,640 Wouldn't it have to be Courtney? I don't know. 818 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,640 Could it be Francis Beane? 819 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,640 I don't think there's a 820 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,640 law for this. I don't think anyone's thought 821 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,640 about it. This is unprecedented and it's going 822 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,640 to take those first lawsuits to do it. 823 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,640 Whoever comes up with it first 824 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,640 let's say that someone wanted 825 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,640 let me think of an old singer 826 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,640 Elvis. 827 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,640 Okay well it wouldn't be Priscilla I wouldn't 828 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,640 think. They were divorced 829 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,640 before he died. Lisa 830 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,640 Marie's dead. 831 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,640 Prince 832 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,640 that's a better example 833 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,640 because they still don't know who his estate's going to go 834 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,640 to with like 835 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,640 third you know his 836 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,640 fucking what is it half 837 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640 sister from something or other 838 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,640 whatever and she's like 839 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,640 a crackhead or something and they don't want to give 840 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,640 the estate to her so they're tying it up 841 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,640 I thought. Wouldn't it something like 842 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,640 that? I can't remember. Oh well 843 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,640 anyhow. So that's very interesting. 844 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,640 I don't think they have a 845 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,640 law yet to assign 846 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,640 that kind of rights 847 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,640 recreational rights. So it's going to take that first 848 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,640 person or group 849 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,640 to do it. And then we're 850 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,640 going to have that become a 851 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,640 thing where people will assign rights 852 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,640 to somebody to duplicate 853 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,640 their likeness their sound 854 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,640 their motion whatever and then 855 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,640 we're going to get court cases trying to figure 856 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,640 out who retroactively owns 857 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,640 the rights for all these people who died 858 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,640 before this was a thing. 859 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,640 I want to hear more Queen. Yeah 860 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,640 imagine that with Freddie Mercury. 861 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,640 Mm hmm. Yeah. 862 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,640 Yeah. 863 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,640 They could do this for guitarists. 864 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,640 You could have a computer 865 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,640 or an AI analyze the way 866 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,640 a person plays guitar like 867 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,640 Steve Clark from Def Leppard. 868 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,640 Yeah. Is dead. 869 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,640 But some 870 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,640 an AI could analyze the way he plays guitar. 871 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,640 Def Leppard could 872 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,640 write a guitar part for him. 873 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,640 The AI would play it 874 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,640 the way Steve would have played it. 875 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,640 I'd like that. 876 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,640 Yeah. But how about 877 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,640 Jimi Hendrix. Who do they have to pay in order to do that? 878 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,640 Jimi Hendrix another one. I mean I'm sure 879 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,640 he has like kin somewhere but I mean 880 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,640 a lot of this stuff is 881 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,640 really it's so groundbreaking 882 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,640 that it could go any way. But think 883 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,640 about this. Robin 884 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,640 was a Robin for somebody 885 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,640 Robin Ford Robin Trower one of them 886 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,640 started out as a Jimi Hendrix impersonator. 887 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,640 Robin Trower. 888 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,640 No he was Robin Ford. Anyway. 889 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,640 Robin Trower is a guitarist. 890 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,640 Anyway there was a Jimi Hendrix 891 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,640 impersonator. He's more of a rhythm 892 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,640 Trower is kind of a rhythm 893 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,640 guy. I mean he's good. 894 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,640 Bridge of Sighs. Yeah. 895 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,640 So there was a guitar player who was 896 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,640 Jimi Hendrix impersonator. 897 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,640 And he studied Jimi Hendrix and he 898 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,640 replicated all the recordings of 899 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,640 Jimi Hendrix as well as he could. 900 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,640 And then he went out and impersonated 901 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,640 Jimi Hendrix in like a tribute band kind of thing. 902 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,640 I'm not sure if I know who that was. 903 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,640 Maybe it was Randy somebody I didn't 904 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,640 remember his name. Oh well. But 905 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,640 what he did 906 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,640 was he used his human mind 907 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,640 to listen, interpret, 908 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,640 learn and then recreate. So he didn't 909 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,640 have to pay anything 910 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,640 except the regular royalties 911 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,640 for replaying one of Hendrix's songs. 912 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,640 And I would have had to pay the same royalties 913 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,640 for me trying to play it 914 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,640 and butchering it badly. But he was 915 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,640 recreating Hendrix just with his own 916 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,640 skill. You know I've been to a lot of 917 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,640 But that was perfectly fine. You didn't have to 918 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,640 pay anybody. So is it possible 919 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,640 let me make this point. Is it possible 920 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,640 that that could be a sticking point 921 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,640 for anybody getting paid ever? 922 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,640 It's like no. This 923 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,640 isn't you. This is our interpretation 924 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,640 of what you might sound like 925 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,640 if you did this. Which you haven't done. 926 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,640 It's 927 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,640 going to be tried. Yeah. 928 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,640 And that first groundbreaking one 929 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,640 is going to be 20 years of litigation 930 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,640 back and forth. And it's 931 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,640 going to be like, no, no, no. 932 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,640 I'm going, they're going to go 933 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,640 protest and do the 934 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,640 you know and do an appeal. 935 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,640 And then the appeal is going to do another appeal. 936 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,640 And it's going to be, this thing here 937 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,640 is like 30 years off from 938 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,640 actually being able to hit the market. 939 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,640 And the big reason 940 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,640 for it being tied up in litigation 941 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,640 isn't whether it's right or wrong 942 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,640 or whether we should or shouldn't. It's who 943 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,640 gets what share of the money. Bingo. 944 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,640 That's the only thing that's going to be 945 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,640 any issue at all in the 946 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,640 court system is that. 947 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,640 Let me put it like this. Let's say Soundgarden 948 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,640 wants to come up with new music and they have three 949 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,640 original members alive. Okay. 950 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,640 Yes, Chris Cornell 951 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,640 wrote a lot of the music. But the rest of them 952 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,640 did too. Kim Thal and 953 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,640 all those guys wrote great music. 954 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,640 And they were all a part of the writing 955 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,640 process. So three quarters 956 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,640 of it is still intact. 957 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,640 Except for Cornell's voice 958 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,640 and the influence that he had on the music 959 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,640 which was probably quite a bit. 960 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,640 But still, he could probably come up with 961 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,640 some really good music that sounds just like their other 962 00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,640 music using 963 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,640 this technology. Vicki 964 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,640 and Vicki Cornell, his 965 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,640 widow in the band, 966 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,640 hate each other. Vicki 967 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,640 has been nonstop suing them for 968 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,640 a long time and they're counter suing. 969 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,640 At least one sticking point 970 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,640 is she blames the band for his death. 971 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,640 Yes. 972 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:46,640 And the thing is, is I 973 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,640 if there's that much question about it, then 974 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,640 why did she let him go out on tour? 975 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,640 Yeah, that's the kind of thing, is she 976 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,640 thinks that doing that tour 977 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,640 there's no way he was going to come home alive from it. 978 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,640 So she didn't want him to. 979 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,640 And she's blaming 980 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,640 the band for giving him the opportunity. 981 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,640 I was at that concert at Starlight Theater in Kansas City, 982 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,640 here in Kansas City, 983 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,640 three days before he killed himself in Detroit. 984 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,640 And I looked at Val, 985 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,640 he sang two hours 986 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,640 like a fucking 20 year old. 987 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,640 And I looked at her, and 988 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,640 this is the first leg of the tour, this might have been the eighth show, 989 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,640 eighth or ninth, and I said, there's no 990 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,640 fucking way him being mid-50s, 991 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,640 is he going to be able 992 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,640 to finish this tour singing like that? 993 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,640 I said, it's physically not possible. 994 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,640 And I think that was his idea, 995 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,640 he was going to go balls out for as long as he could. 996 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,640 And as soon as he couldn't, that was when he was going to end his life. 997 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,640 And I think it might have been 998 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,640 Detroit where he couldn't go balls out, 999 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,640 and he was just like, that was it. 1000 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,640 I think he made that decision 1001 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,640 not to come home from that tour alive. 1002 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,640 And another thing is, looking at it, 1003 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,640 he was showing signs of relief 1004 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,640 at Starlight. 1005 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,640 He wasn't uptight, 1006 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,640 he wasn't weird or odd. 1007 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,640 That means he made a decision. 1008 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,640 He was at peace with himself because he'd already decided 1009 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,640 and he had a plan. 1010 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,640 That's what he's going to do, yes. 1011 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,640 That's a big warning sign to look forward to someone who's 1012 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,640 exhibited suicidal ideas or thoughts. 1013 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,640 This is too sentimental 1014 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,640 because he used to come here every summer, 1015 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,640 he said this on stage, 1016 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,640 his grandparents lived here, 1017 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,640 and his dad 1018 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,640 worked at the Cadillac store. 1019 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,640 I forgot, we used to build 1020 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,640 some sort of automobile 1021 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,640 here besides like Ford and Chevy, 1022 00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,640 the GM plant and the Ford 1023 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,640 plants that we have here. 1024 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,640 And he was talking 1025 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,640 about going over the Broadway Bridge, 1026 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,640 he said, I always knew it was Kansas City, we'd go over that bridge. 1027 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,640 He said, I thought that bridge was so neat, all this stuff. 1028 00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,640 It is a pretty cool bridge. 1029 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,640 Yeah, so I think he didn't do it here out of sentimental stuff. 1030 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,640 Yeah. 1031 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,640 And I remember thinking, God, what a 1032 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,640 big world it is to where this 1033 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,640 kid from Seattle 1034 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,640 used to come here every year, and he is very 1035 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,640 familiar with it. 1036 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,640 But I didn't catch 1037 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,640 on until later, but he was just like, 1038 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,640 he was relieved. He was having the time of his life 1039 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,640 screaming it out, fucking, 1040 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,640 you know, getting people riled up, 1041 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,640 you know, just doing the concert stuff 1042 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,640 that I'd never seen him do before. 1043 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,640 I'd seen him solo in 1044 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,640 Soundgarden several times before, 1045 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,640 and he never had that free flow 1046 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,640 that just like, whatever, come on, 1047 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,640 man. So, yeah. 1048 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,640 Yeah, kind of that euphoria glow of he'd made 1049 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,640 the decision. He made the decision, he was at 1050 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,640 peace with it. Yeah. And so he's kind of 1051 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,640 fighting that brief high. And therefore 1052 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,640 comes the singing like he did. Yeah. 1053 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,640 So, but anyhow, yeah, 1054 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,640 something like that I can see some problems 1055 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,640 with, and then some other people that like all 1056 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,640 this, all these bands that's 1057 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,640 tied up in litigation constantly, 1058 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,640 they're probably never going to see light today because 1059 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,640 of the nature of it. Now, the ones 1060 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,640 where there's not that much of a 1061 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,640 opposition 1062 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,640 or people with their hands in the cookie 1063 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,640 jar, that might happen all day long. 1064 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,640 We have the technology 1065 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,640 currently to 1066 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:00,640 have a 1067 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,640 computer render real time 1068 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,640 3D video of somebody, 1069 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,640 anybody, and make it look like 1070 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,640 it really is that person. 1071 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,640 We now have 1072 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:12,640 the AI voice 1073 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,640 capabilities that you can have that 1074 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,640 person say 1075 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:18,640 anything in that person's 1076 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,640 voice. And 1077 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,640 we also have chat bot 1078 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,640 technology 1079 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,640 where you can imitate a personality 1080 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,640 with 1081 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,640 a chat bot artificial intelligence. 1082 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,640 So how far 1083 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,640 are we from creating like 1084 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,640 a virtual Chris Cornell? 1085 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,640 And when you get into the studio, 1086 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,640 you turn on the monitor 1087 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,640 and there's your virtual Chris Cornell, and you 1088 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,640 talk with him, you interact with him, 1089 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,640 you jam with him, he comes up with some 1090 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:48,640 new ideas and licks. 1091 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,640 And it's all artificial intelligence 1092 00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,640 based on what they know of 1093 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,640 the person. 1094 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,640 I don't know if 1095 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:58,640 we'll be alive long enough to see 1096 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,640 that technology, but 1097 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,640 I would love to see that technology. 1098 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,640 A lot of the strides are already there, 1099 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,640 you could resurrect a 1100 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,640 person, a dead person, as a 1101 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,640 virtual version of 1102 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,640 themselves. Or, of course, since 1103 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,640 Americans, well, humans in general, 1104 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,640 porn everything up, you 1105 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,640 could have a virtual porn version 1106 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:20,640 of whatever celebrity or person 1107 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,640 you're daydreaming of. 1108 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,640 But they're gonna act like that, it's not where they want to go. 1109 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,640 And they would look and act and sound exactly like 1110 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,640 the real thing. They're gonna act like that, it's not where they 1111 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,640 wanted to go, they're gonna go, what, guys, 1112 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,640 come on! 1113 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,640 But you know humans are gonna porn it up. 1114 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,640 They porn up everything they get their hands on. 1115 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:38,640 You're right on that, that's what they do. 1116 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,640 I just texted 1117 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,640 my friend Sandor, it's gonna be off work here in about 1118 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,640 ten minutes, and I'm gonna try to get him to come on 1119 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:46,640 the show, we'll see. Don't need to give me a call. 1120 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,640 So we'll see if he does, hopefully he doesn't 1121 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,640 chicken out. 1122 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,640 You got something you want to go into? 1123 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,640 Or got some... 1124 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,640 Yeah, 1125 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,640 just, here is an interesting 1126 00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,640 thing I 1127 00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,640 was considering about 1128 00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,640 the Russian Revolution. 1129 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,640 And I'm not gonna get all into heavy 1130 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,640 historical facts or anything here, but 1131 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,640 in 1917, 1132 00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,640 the Russian Revolution 1133 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:18,640 happened and Tsar Nicholas II 1134 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,640 was overthrown and he and his family were killed 1135 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,640 and the Soviet Union 1136 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,640 started at that point. 1137 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,640 The Romanov family had been in 1138 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,640 power for 300 years. 1139 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,640 For the Russian Empire. 1140 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,640 One of the things was, 1141 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,640 as soon as Tsar Nicholas got into power, 1142 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,640 he started 1143 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,640 just brutal oppression 1144 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,640 of any of his rivals 1145 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,640 or political enemies. 1146 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:56,640 People were going 1147 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,640 into prisons, people were being tortured 1148 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:00,640 and beheaded, 1149 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,640 people were being starved, 1150 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,640 during the famine he had soldiers 1151 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,640 fire on women and children who 1152 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:08,640 were just hungry and showing up at the 1153 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,640 Imperial Palace 1154 00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:12,640 wanting food. 1155 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,640 So he was kind of getting unpopular. 1156 00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,640 He lost the war 1157 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,640 to Japan in 1905, 1158 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,640 that wasn't very popular. There's a whole 1159 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,640 Rasputin thing where his wife 1160 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,640 was carrying on with this 1161 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,640 supposed monk, but he's some kind of 1162 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,640 mystical figure. He was basically a cult leader 1163 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,640 trying to get a cult. Oh yeah, yep. 1164 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,640 But one of the things 1165 00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:38,640 that made a big deal 1166 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,640 was the 1167 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,640 Industrial Revolution. 1168 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,640 About 1860 or thereabouts, 1169 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:48,640 while the United States was going through a civil war, 1170 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,640 the rest of the world was going through this big 1171 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,640 Industrial Revolution unfettered 1172 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,640 where machines were taking the place of human labor 1173 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,640 so people had to move into the cities 1174 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,640 to do all these factory jobs 1175 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,640 and machine jobs, etc. 1176 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,640 And trains became 1177 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,640 a lot more reliable, a lot more plentiful, 1178 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,640 a lot cheaper. 1179 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,640 Prior to that, 1180 00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,640 the peasants out on the Russian steppes, 1181 00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,640 all they knew of their Tsar 1182 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,640 was he was this mystical figure 1183 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,640 imbued by 1184 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,640 God with these great powers 1185 00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,640 and he was nearly 1186 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:24,640 godlike himself and he ran the country. 1187 00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,640 By the time that that Tsar 1188 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,640 died in 1894, 1189 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,640 a lot of their 1190 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,640 what they saw 1191 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,640 was a botched embalming. 1192 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,640 Whoever embalmed the Tsar's body 1193 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,640 screwed it up big time 1194 00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:44,640 and they only had one shot. 1195 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,640 So the body of the 1196 00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,640 Tsar was rotting, 1197 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,640 stank like 1198 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,640 roadkill, and was 1199 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,640 actually turning green. 1200 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,640 And that's the body they put in the big fancy 1201 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,640 casket and paraded all over 1202 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,640 the streets of Moscow in the 1203 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,640 fancy carriage. I remember that story actually. 1204 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,640 And lying in state in the church 1205 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,640 for days, he 1206 00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,640 stank like 1207 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,640 I mean people weren't very clean 1208 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,640 back then, but even that was just more 1209 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,640 than they could bear. Yeah, I mean there's body odor 1210 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,640 and then there's dead body odor. 1211 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,640 So tens of thousands 1212 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:24,640 of people got to see 1213 00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,640 their revered beloved leader 1214 00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,640 as a rotting corpse. 1215 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,640 And all of a sudden the magic spell was broken. 1216 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,640 These aren't great, 1217 00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,640 wonderful people touched by God. 1218 00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:36,640 These are just people. 1219 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,640 And if they can be Tsar, why can't I be 1220 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:40,640 Tsar? And it really 1221 00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,640 destroyed the illusion of 1222 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,640 this selected, you know, chosen 1223 00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,640 by God monarchy. Okay. 1224 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:48,640 Sandor's not going to call any as 1225 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,640 water line repairs it is, so I guess it's probably not 1226 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,640 even at work. So, okay. 1227 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,640 You know, the other day 1228 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:56,640 is, are you done or you got it? I was just thinking 1229 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,640 that if they hadn't botched the 1230 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,640 bombing, that might 1231 00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,640 have delayed the Russian revolution by 1232 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,640 I don't know, five years, ten 1233 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,640 years, and that 1234 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,640 would have made a huge difference 1235 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,640 in Hitler's rise to power. 1236 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:14,640 Because having the Russians 1237 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,640 back out of World War I 1238 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:18,640 was a big deal. Yeah. And they 1239 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,640 backed out because of the revolution. 1240 00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:22,640 That's a good point. Yeah. 1241 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,640 So without that, 1242 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:26,640 things could have been massively different. 1243 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,640 Yeah, could have been. Who knows? 1244 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,640 Just one botched embalming 1245 00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:32,640 and it toppled the Romanov Empire. 1246 00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,640 Yeah. Yeah. 1247 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,640 Funny. Wow. 1248 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,640 Want to do a lighter note? 1249 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,640 Sure. Okay. 1250 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,640 I was thinking the other day, like, you know, 1251 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,640 you ever like been forced to give someone a gift 1252 00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,640 even though you didn't care for them? Yeah. 1253 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,640 Yeah, it sucks. And it's like, you gotta 1254 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,640 do it because, look, everyone else 1255 00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,640 is, and I know they kind of get 1256 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,640 Benedict to you, but it's the right thing 1257 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,640 to do, so just sack up and be a man 1258 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,640 and get them a gift. 1259 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,640 Well, I have an answer to some of that. 1260 00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:08,640 And these are gifts for people 1261 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,640 that you hate or don't like very well. 1262 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,640 Oh, that's excellent. So it satisfies 1263 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,640 the social requirement of giving 1264 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,640 a gift. Yes. Yes. But you can 1265 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,640 still give them a 1266 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,640 a fuck you in the end. 1267 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,640 A fuck you in the end. Yes. 1268 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,640 This is good. 1269 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,640 Yeah. Well, my number one one, 1270 00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,640 and this is one of the worst gifts I could ever think of, 1271 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,640 remember that group Hanson? 1272 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,640 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1273 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,640 Give someone their box set. 1274 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,640 Oh, 1275 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,640 excellent. Yeah. Can you imagine? 1276 00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,640 Hey, Topher. Yeah. 1277 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,640 Got your gift. Oh, 1278 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,640 excellent. Yeah, here. Here, open it up. 1279 00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:46,640 It 1280 00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,640 is Hanson? Yeah. 1281 00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,640 What? You don't like 1282 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,640 Hanson? 1283 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,640 It'd be the let's make a deal 1284 00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,640 clunker music. 1285 00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,640 Quack, quack, quack. 1286 00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:00,640 My first 1287 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,640 impulse was like give it to them on something 1288 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,640 like 8-track, but then they'd have 1289 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,640 an excuse to throw it away because nobody can play 8-track. 1290 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,640 I don't have an 8-track, can I? Yeah. No, give them to 1291 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,640 them in a format that they can play 1292 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,640 so they have no excuse. Yeah. 1293 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,640 Or even if they're younger, an MP3. 1294 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,640 Yeah. I dare you to hurt my feelings 1295 00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:18,640 by refusing my horrible, horrible 1296 00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:20,640 gift. Yeah. And then they got to fake it. 1297 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,640 They got to go, hey! 1298 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,640 That is so good. 1299 00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:26,640 But anyone won't 1300 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,640 they won't come out and just like, oh, I love him. 1301 00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,640 They'll go, I never knew what happened 1302 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,640 to him. Yeah. Well, thank you. 1303 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,640 They're not going to go, oh my god, I love Hanson. They're going to go, 1304 00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,640 thanks, man. Did they have that 1305 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,640 one song? Um 1306 00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,640 bop or blap blop or 1307 00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:42,640 beep bop or mat bop? 1308 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1309 00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:46,640 Beep bop. Yeah, beep bop. Thanks, Mark. 1310 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,640 Motherfucker, son of a bitch, 1311 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,640 fucking asshole. 1312 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,640 Your fucking birthday rolls around. 1313 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,640 Alright, man, I'm going to go home and play this. 1314 00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:56,640 No, I'm not. So, anyhow. 1315 00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,640 So, okay. 1316 00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,640 The next one is 1317 00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,640 something I actually saw on TV. It's true. 1318 00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,640 You can look it up. A book of poetry 1319 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:06,640 for fish. 1320 00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,640 Oh. They say it makes 1321 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,640 your koi and... You're supposed to read 1322 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,640 this in the picture. Yes. Your koi and 1323 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,640 your goldfish with better colors 1324 00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,640 and bigger 1325 00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,640 and more vibrant. So, let's say 1326 00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,640 your goldfish are just kind of like, you know, you go 1327 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,640 out to your koi pond and they're just like sitting there 1328 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,640 looking around, kind of dumb. Yeah. 1329 00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,640 Uh, uh, uh. 1330 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,640 You read them this poetry and they're like going, hey, 1331 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,640 hey, boss, what's up, man? Hey. 1332 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,640 We're just here being fish. We got 1333 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,640 this little fish beach ball. We got a little 1334 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:36,640 little fucking net here. 1335 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,640 You know, it's a fucking everything's great. 1336 00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,640 Because you guys read us some poetry. 1337 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,640 I have a good one. Yeah. 1338 00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,640 Give them a book entitled 1339 00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,640 Dealing with Your Terminal 1340 00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,640 Illness. And when they look at you funny 1341 00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,640 you say, oh, didn't your doctor call yet? 1342 00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,640 Never mind. 1343 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,640 It's just a joke. 1344 00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:58,640 I gotta go. 1345 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,640 What was that? Oh, I gotta go. 1346 00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,640 My Bluetooth. 1347 00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,640 I like that one a lot. 1348 00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,640 That's kind of like when you're at a big party. 1349 00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,640 Just walk up to somebody at random 1350 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:12,640 and say, you know, I don't care 1351 00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,640 what anyone else says. I'm glad you're here. 1352 00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,640 And then I'd reply, 1353 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,640 they don't just say that about you. 1354 00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:26,640 Those son of a bitches. 1355 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,640 And I was agreeing with them. 1356 00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,640 I love that. 1357 00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:34,640 Um, next one. 1358 00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,640 Gift certificate for Kale. 1359 00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,640 Now that's how you really 1360 00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,640 chose someone you hate. 1361 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,640 You know, you pretty much have to redeem 1362 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:46,640 those because just having them puts you on 1363 00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,640 the terrorist list. I heard Robbie loves Kale. 1364 00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,640 Yeah, I'll bet he does. 1365 00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:52,640 Robbie, I love you. 1366 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:54,640 Now, always remember, Robbie loves 1367 00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,640 to see naked men. 1368 00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,640 So if you're a naked man, send him 1369 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,640 a picture. Look him up on my 1370 00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,640 phone. 1371 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:04,640 Look him up on my 1372 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,640 Facebook. 1373 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,640 Throw his inbox full of naked pictures. 1374 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,640 Ass up. 1375 00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,640 Soon to no longer be your Facebook friend. 1376 00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,640 Yeah, probably. 1377 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,640 He's got to be used to this. All I used to do was screw with him. 1378 00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:20,640 So many of them. 1379 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,640 I used to work with a guy who 1380 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,640 he played a joke on 1381 00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,640 his friend by enlisting 1382 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,640 him. He called up one of those magazines 1383 00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,640 and gave him his friend's number 1384 00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,640 for the swingers list. 1385 00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,640 And he put down as the guy's 1386 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,640 specialties 1387 00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,640 is he liked to 1388 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:42,640 have anal sex while people watched. 1389 00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,640 And this guy was getting 1390 00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,640 phone calls. 1391 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,640 He said there's this one Asian guy 1392 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:54,640 kept calling him up in broken 1393 00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,640 English trying to get him to do 1394 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,640 me. Do you ask? Me? Do you ask? 1395 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,640 And another guy 1396 00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:02,640 who was a truck driver said me and 1397 00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,640 my old lady are coming through Kansas City 1398 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,640 next week and I wonder if 1399 00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:08,640 you'd want to do my wife while I watch. 1400 00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,640 He's like where the hell are you getting 1401 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,640 my number? 1402 00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:18,640 Oh, that wouldn't work anymore 1403 00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,640 with all the call blocking. 1404 00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,640 No, but my God. 1405 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:26,640 The cruelty we used 1406 00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,640 to. I mean these were our friends that we 1407 00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:30,640 did this to. I know. I know. 1408 00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:32,640 Imagine if we didn't like you. Oh, man. 1409 00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:34,640 Well, I told you I used 1410 00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:36,640 to. You know, I'd send the play girl this before 1411 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,640 you know being gay. Oh, yeah. Especially being 1412 00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:40,640 a teacher. But I sent 1413 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:42,640 the play girl to 1414 00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:44,640 the neighbors with the wrong address and his 1415 00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,640 name. 1416 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,640 That's genius. It is. 1417 00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,640 Because then they get it. 1418 00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,640 Oh my God. We'll 1419 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,640 just call him Mr. Golfing Student. 1420 00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:56,640 Okay. Mr. 1421 00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,640 Did you see this? 1422 00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,640 This is sent to Mr. Golfenstein, but they 1423 00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:02,640 had the address a little bit wrong because his neighbors 1424 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,640 to where neighbors. So it 1425 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:06,640 was like one number off. 1426 00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:10,640 So it was to Mr. 1427 00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,640 Golfenstein, teacher 1428 00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,640 sent to his neighbor one 1429 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,640 number off. So when they 1430 00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,640 got it, I'm pretty sure they didn't run 1431 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,640 it over to him. They're just 1432 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:22,640 a secret Iggy about him. 1433 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,640 Mr. Golfenstein, you know, he gets it his house. 1434 00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,640 They've been sending it 1435 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,640 to us. You know, it wasn't that long 1436 00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:30,640 ago that if 1437 00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,640 a public school teacher 1438 00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,640 had a subscription to Playboy, 1439 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,640 they would get fired. 1440 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:38,640 I mean, that hasn't been all 1441 00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,640 that. That was like maybe 40, 50 years ago. 1442 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,640 You know what? If the people didn't 1443 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:44,640 like him, they probably could have got him fired. 1444 00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,640 I bet you they could have. That would have been enough. 1445 00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:48,640 No, I know. 1446 00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,640 An immoral attitude. This wasn't meant to get 1447 00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,640 fired. It was meant to embarrass him. 1448 00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:54,640 And you know, as a kid, but he was 1449 00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:56,640 a real son of a bitch. But isn't that funny 1450 00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,640 that at a certain point it's a joke, 1451 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,640 but prior to that, it's a fireable offense? 1452 00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,640 I know. I know. And yeah. 1453 00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,640 It doesn't make a whole lot of 1454 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,640 sense in today's society. It's like 1455 00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,640 really? It's like why would they care 1456 00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:10,640 what he did, you know? He wasn't 1457 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,640 touching kids. That's the thing 1458 00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,640 where people, well like really 1459 00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:16,640 narrow minded people, well they're geared to like 1460 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,640 men. Yeah, men, not little boys. 1461 00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,640 Just like we're geared to like women, 1462 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,640 not little girls. Yeah, there 1463 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,640 is nothing hetero 1464 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,640 or homosexual about pedophiles. 1465 00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,640 No, and that's where people like 1466 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,640 used to get their grandstand from and be like 1467 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,640 well look, they don't really like boys. 1468 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:34,640 No. Okay. 1469 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:36,640 Well it's just like rape has nothing to do 1470 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,640 with sex. It's a physical 1471 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:40,640 attack. Pedophilia is 1472 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,640 a physical attack. It has nothing to do 1473 00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:44,640 with sex or 1474 00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:46,640 gender preference. 1475 00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:48,640 Well here's what gets me is... It's pedophiles 1476 00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:50,640 hunt within either their own gender 1477 00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:52,640 or the other gender. 1478 00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,640 Why didn't they go after swingers then? 1479 00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,640 See, there's no sexual, there's nothing 1480 00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,640 sexual involved. No, I know. They are 1481 00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,640 predator hunting prey. 1482 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,640 So, yeah, 1483 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,640 confusing anything 1484 01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,640 you know 1485 01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,640 that's where the term sexual assault 1486 01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:10,640 needs to go away. Yeah, I agree. 1487 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,640 Because there's nothing having to do with sex. 1488 01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:14,640 You could call it 1489 01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:16,640 something else. Capital assault or 1490 01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:18,640 just make up a term for it or something. 1491 01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:20,640 But yeah, quit associating any of that 1492 01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:22,640 with sexual desire. 1493 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,640 Because there's none involved there. 1494 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,640 That's true. Alright, I'm going to get back online here. 1495 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,640 Bag of sawdust. 1496 01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,640 What do you do with a bag of sawdust? 1497 01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:34,640 Absolutely nothing. 1498 01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,640 Except throw it away. 1499 01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,640 Bag of sawdust. It gets a point across 1500 01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,640 if you think about it. Like oh, hey, 1501 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,640 what do you get? 1502 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:44,640 Well, I guess it could be a fiber supplement. 1503 01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:46,640 Yeah, don't look at the 1504 01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:48,640 you put it in as a food stretcher. 1505 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,640 I don't know. Because they do it, 1506 01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:52,640 they used to do it, I don't know if they still do. 1507 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:54,640 They used to do it in a hamburger. 1508 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,640 They were 1509 01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,640 permitted to throw in sawdust 1510 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,640 in something else. I forgot what else. 1511 01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:02,640 Taco Bell for many years 1512 01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,640 put 1513 01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:06,640 oatmeal in their meat 1514 01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,640 and called it a seasoning. 1515 01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:10,640 Instead of a filler. 1516 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,640 So that's how they got away 1517 01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,640 saying zero filler, 100% ground beef. 1518 01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:16,640 Yeah. Because they don't do that anymore. 1519 01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:18,640 And another 1520 01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,640 little secret is they ground that 1521 01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,640 they ground the oatmeal up to make it fit the 1522 01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:24,640 hamburger profile too. 1523 01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,640 Another one. 1524 01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,640 Southwest Air Voucher. 1525 01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:36,640 Enjoy! 1526 01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:38,640 Were you not going to make it too? 1527 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,640 Yes. 1528 01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:42,640 Then the second one right next to it is 1529 01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,640 American Airline Voucher. 1530 01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:46,640 Yeah. 1531 01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:48,640 Hey, enjoy wherever 1532 01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,640 you're not going to. Good luck. 1533 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,640 Nice to see you. 1534 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,640 The next one. 1535 01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:58,640 Bag of 1536 01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,640 Brussels Sprouts. 1537 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,640 Oh yeah. Yeah. I want you 1538 01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:04,640 to eat these horrible little fucking round things 1539 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:06,640 and then fart your ass off. 1540 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,640 I actually did come up with another good value 1541 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,640 to use for Brussels sprouts. What is it? 1542 01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,640 Sling Shot Ammo. 1543 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:14,640 Okay. 1544 01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:16,640 I'd rather get hit by a rock than with a 1545 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:18,640 Brussels sprout. Because a rock just 1546 01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,640 hurts. Brussels sprout is going to hurt and then 1547 01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:22,640 stank. 1548 01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,640 Yep. I like 1549 01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,640 that. 1550 01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,640 Next one. 1551 01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:36,640 Raiders Flag. 1552 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,640 Speaking of pedophiles, 1553 01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:40,640 Raiders Flags are 1554 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:42,640 very popular among 1555 01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:44,640 pedophiles and ice cream 1556 01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,640 truck vendors. Which are also 1557 01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,640 pedophiles. Oh, same thing. Yeah. 1558 01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:52,640 I can totally believe that. 1559 01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,640 I've heard the Raiders Flag is the number one 1560 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,640 decoration used in 1561 01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,640 prison conjugal visits. 1562 01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,640 To wipe up. 1563 01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:02,640 Give me a Raiders Flag. 1564 01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:04,640 I gotta wipe my dick off. 1565 01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:06,640 I need to get your ass off of my dick. Really? 1566 01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:08,640 You want to wipe your dick with a Raiders Flag? 1567 01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,640 Why don't you use some poison ivy instead? 1568 01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:12,640 That's the last time I'm fucking you in the ass. 1569 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,640 That's it. It's over. 1570 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,640 But, but, but 1571 01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:18,640 Reggie. Shut up. 1572 01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:20,640 So, anyhow. 1573 01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:22,640 Let's see. 1574 01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:24,640 Okay. Raiders Flag. 1575 01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,640 An MP3 of hours of dentist drill 1576 01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,640 sounds. Or 1577 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,640 if they're over 50, a CD. 1578 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,640 Yeah. 1579 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,640 And label it sleep. 1580 01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:36,640 Yeah, sleep. 1581 01:03:36,640 --> 01:04:00,640 Hey, hey, Tofer. 1582 01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:08,640 Oh shit, what's 1583 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:10,640 that over there? 1584 01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,640 Oh no. 1585 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,640 This island of horrible jokes. 1586 01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:16,640 Ugh. 1587 01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:18,640 Ooh, 1588 01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,640 that's a good call. 1589 01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:22,640 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1590 01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:24,640 Oh shit, what's 1591 01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:26,640 that over there? 1592 01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,640 Oh no. 1593 01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,640 This island of horrible jokes. 1594 01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:32,640 Ugh, 1595 01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:34,640 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1596 01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:45,640 horrible jokes. I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up. 1597 01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:51,640 Dentist drill sounds. Or if they're over 50 a CD. 1598 01:04:51,640 --> 01:04:52,640 And leaflet. 1599 01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:53,640 Sleep. 1600 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:54,640 Yes, sleep. 1601 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:58,640 Here you go. Hey, hey, Tofer. Tofer? 1602 01:04:58,640 --> 01:04:59,640 I'm getting all choked up. 1603 01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:01,640 Hey, here I got something for you. 1604 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:02,640 Oh, what is it? 1605 01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:06,640 It's a CD of dentist drill sounds. 1606 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:10,640 Oh, thank you, I guess. 1607 01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:14,640 No need to make a big deal. You're welcome. 1608 01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:17,640 Tell me when he's not looking. I'm throwing away. 1609 01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:22,640 What? I missed that. What did you say? 1610 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:27,640 Okay, next one. Free vacation to East Palestine, Ohio. 1611 01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,640 Via Amtrak. 1612 01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:32,640 Too soon. 1613 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:36,640 No, not anymore. It wasn't the beginning of the podcast. 1614 01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:40,640 I've done it like five times now. Now we cool. 1615 01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It good. It good. 1616 01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:53,640 And then finally, your subscription to Deuce Bag and Microphone podcast. 1617 01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:56,640 That was the capper right there. That's just like a... 1618 01:05:56,640 --> 01:06:00,640 Yeah, it will also include the transcript. 1619 01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:02,640 So you can wallpaper your room with it. 1620 01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,640 Yeah, coincidentally we do now have a transcript. 1621 01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:09,640 So you can read how horrible we are so you don't have to listen to us. 1622 01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:12,640 You can go, oh my God, look at this. Look at the first five sentences. 1623 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:13,640 No, I'm not waiting. 1624 01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:18,640 From the makers of Who Bit My Asshole Board Game and Balloon Art with Fawcac's video series, 1625 01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:21,640 it's two douchebags in a microphone and action figures. 1626 01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:27,640 At now, get a free bag of flaming hot Cheetos, a bottle of antibiotics, and three free bullets. 1627 01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:32,640 That's right, dress your douchebag up and send him off to horrible scenarios all day long. 1628 01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,640 We're soon to get a free at-home tent piercing kit. 1629 01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:40,640 That's right, free home tent piercing kit, new from Chizbro. 1630 01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:46,640 Two douchebags in microphone dot net, you're one stop for everything douchebaggery. 1631 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:49,640 You want to write us? You want to say something to us? 1632 01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:53,640 You want to look for a live button? When we go live, you can call in. 1633 01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:57,640 All of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and eye holes. 1634 01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:00,640 You got it, chumps. It's all yours. 1635 01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,640 Two douchebags in microphone dot net is up and running. 1636 01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:20,640 Hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. 1637 01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:25,640 Hey, where do they go? Where are the douchebags? 1638 01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:30,640 Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez. 1639 01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:34,640 Ugh, glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back. 1640 01:07:34,640 --> 01:08:03,640 Man, that smells.