Meanwhile...
At the White House...
Tick-tock!
Damn you!
Get off my lawn!
Damn kids!
Live from the historic River Market District of downtown Kansas City, Missouri
From the banks of the beautiful Crystal Blue Walkers of the Missouri River
It is Two Boosh Bags and Microphone Podcast
Oh shit!
What's that over there?
Oh no!
It's the island of horrible jokes!
Ugh!
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery
I will kill him with my bare hands!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Swimming in toxic masculinity and wiping their ass with politically correct wash rags
Two douchebags and a microphone invade your ear holes in 3...2...1...
Two monkey fuckers and a toaster will be right back!
All right, two douchebags and a microphone
Mark?
And I'm Topher
All right, we are back at the city market and we are doing what we believe is a good cause
I mean, we're reading up statistics the other day on the...what would you call it?
The prejudice or the...
Intolerance, lack of acceptance
Yeah, of men in booty shorts
Yeah
So Topher and I are both in booty shorts
And we're doing this program ASS UP to prove that booty shorts can look good on men
Yeah, yeah, and it's not exactly warm here either
No, no
And I have to admit, I mean, I did put a little blush underneath my ass cheeks to make it look a little better
So I hope I didn't stage you up by having a little bit of color on my ass
That's fine, that's fine
Instead of it being pretty much see-through
Yeah
Yeah, because I am seasonal
That's true, you are
Yes
Well, I've got to make sure my hemorrhoid doesn't hang out the side here, so if I'm shifting in my seat, I'm trying to tuck that thing back in
Oh, I've got an old RC bottle that I do that with, I just like...goes in there
Works great
All right
Anyhow
Hope you all weren't eating it while we were introducing this
I hope you were
Oh yeah
So anyway, yeah, raising...trying to raise the acceptance for men wearing booty booty shorts
Yes
And that kind of, you know, that's interesting because it kind of ties in with something I saw the other day for the first time
Is a cosmetics commercial that had young men in amongst the young women as users of the cosmetics
You know how they have, you know, different models will flash on the screen for like a third of a second
And at least twice it was young men
Yep
And you know, no implication of sexual orientation or gender identity
It was just, you know, he looked outwardly like a young man
And apparently that was his choice because, you know, that was his makeup look
So I feel safe in not offending anybody in their tiny fists by saying it was a young man
But that's the first time I've actually seen a mainstream cosmetics company in their commercial including young men
So I thought, well, this is pretty cool because as you said, there's an enormous market for it
The young men and whatever other age men who want to wear cosmetics have to shop for women's cosmetics or stage makeup kind of stuff
So why not market cosmetics directly to men?
It's really not that different from cologne or like skin creams or hair dye
We discussed this topic on the way down here because Tofer's idea came to his head
And it's a very good idea because I really, this subject I find pretty interesting on a lot of different levels
But I mean, a lot of people of certain age would know this
But there was this detective lawyer show on for many years called Perry Mason
Yeah, that was the famous one where he never lost a case except once
One time
One time as a gimmick, yeah
But he would always win his case
Yeah, and it's always against Mr. Berger, was it?
I don't know. I usually didn't watch Perry Mason
Berger was the prosecuting attorney, I think, or something
Oh, yeah, because he was Ironsides, not Ironsides, but Perry Mason
He was Ironsides, that was Raymond Berger
Right, they had a different show
But he was a defense attorney and he would usually get his client off by making it clear that somebody else had done the crime
Yes, yeah
Anyway, so yeah, you were saying about that show
Okay, he wore eyeliner
The actor?
Yeah, the actor, and it really brought him out whenever he would make a point
It made him a certain amount of stage presence
Yeah, his eyes got very dramatic at those moments
Yes, he was really well at facial or acting, physical acting, not just his dialect
But a big part of that was eyeliner
It didn't make him look feminine
No?
Nothing, it just made him look more believable
It's interesting, a lot of what people would object to is intent
Because we will look at actors and actresses or the people reading the news to us and they've got makeup on
And the intent is so they look a certain way on screen
So the intent is different than say a 24-year-old man who goes and puts on what most people would be considered feminine or feminine style of makeup
The intent is different
So that's where people get bent, is well this makeup on a man is okay, but that makeup on a man is not okay
If you're fractioning it out like that, then I guess you're kind of an idiot anymore
I mean think of all these Trumpers, Trump put tons of makeup on every time before he gets on the camera
So you're already okay with a man wearing makeup if you support Donald Trump
It's just get over other men wearing makeup for other reasons
What's their big deal?
Yeah, and then another thing is this right here
They also do things what they call outlines
And that's where they draw an outline around the people to bring them like blush does on people
The blush is an outline for your cheekbones
Yeah
Okay
And like there's eyeliner to make, you know, define the point where your eye meets your skin
Draw an outline on the people to follow the people to make them more prominent in the whole background scheme
Right, they kind of pop out of their surroundings a little bit
Yeah, there's like three news people there and they got their laptops and they're talking and yeah this, this and this
So if you're looking at without an outline on because I've seen this before, I've seen some of the behind the scenes stuff
I think we probably all have whether on TV or whatever, but the deal is this right here
If they don't have that outline on, it doesn't look as believable
Yeah, yeah, it looks fake
It doesn't look like they're really there
You put that outline on, it's like oh they're there, look at it, it's more 3D I guess
Yeah, yeah, they tend to look like a flat cardboard cutout without it
But it gives definition and depth to them and it makes it look more the way people look when you're looking at them in real life
You know, I'm looking at you directly across the table
Yeah
And no one is painting in an outline around you, but my eyes are kind of doing that in the way I focus
Exactly
Or the way my brain is interpreting it
So that's not necessarily, you know, evil fakery, it's just trying to make a more realistic and believable appearance
But the makeup, I don't know, a lot of times that makeup is, they say well it's to counteract the heavy lights
You know, these lights will bleach you out
But sometimes the makeup is to make them look younger or more tan or more fit
Or all the above
Or yeah, and that's where it gets to be makeup as, what did you say, camouflage I guess is a good term
Camouflage would be a good term, yeah
So, and not that there's anything wrong with that, if people want to do that, you know, sure, more private to you
No, no
I thought it would be kind of interesting, the cosmetics companies I'm sure would love to get society to the point where everybody
Regardless of gender or sexual identity wore makeup
Because you know, they'd sell more, they'd love that
But how interesting would that be to where a young man and young woman would go out on a date
And the woman who's used to being the pretty one looks at her young man and says, ooh, he's prettier than I am
Yeah, oops
Yeah, I think that's where it's going to start faltering
Yeah
And then it's going to be like where like women are like, I'm not going to go out with a guy that like looks better than me
But I think it's going to end up happening like that, they're going to go, no, it's just not going to happen
Yeah
Well, if there develops some splinter group of women who feel that it's unfair for men to wear makeup
No cosmetics company is going to support them
I agree
Because there's no money in that
I agree
So it's one of those things that if people don't like it, for whatever reason, I think you're just going to have to get used to it
Because the tide of money to be made is pretty much going to wash everything away
Yeah
So I don't know, but for some people I'm sure it's fun or gives meaning to their life to hate on something or rally against something
Or I've got to have some knee shorts
Yeah, yeah, well, no, it's true
And anyhow, well, like I said, we're still here in our booty shorts
Some people ran off screaming
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper
It's strange insults from an alien
Real hilarity
Don't be ashamed of who you are
That's your parents job
One group of people went by and I could hear one of them shushing somebody
Because they saw the microphone and the laptop and stuff
So I think we should get a sign and put it up
Make noise
It said, yeah, podcast in progress, please make noise
Yeah
The whole idea why we're here is not so we can have a clean, controlled background
No, we could go do it at the Dock is Cheap or the No Filter Studio and make it sound a lot better, but we don't
So we're never going to shush anybody that wanders by
No, that's what we want
When you start throwing bodily fluids, that becomes a different
Yeah, that's why our banner is in the shop
It got dissolved a little bit
Somebody threw something disgusting on it
Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it was piss, but
Yeah
You know what? Just, you know, just, you know, devil's advocate
It could have been a yellow substance that smelled just like piss
Like Mountain Dew
Yeah, yeah
It could have been Mountain Dew
Yeah, it could have been Mountain Dew
Oh, I saw a video of them
This would be very quick
I saw a video that was very disturbing
This is something that somebody apparently is starting to try to start as a new trend or challenge, a video challenge
Oh, no
You know, like you've had the Tide Pod and the challenge and the ice bucket challenge and the piss your pants challenge
This is you find a random bag of garbage
Have someone hold it up and clip the bottom corner and drink, you drink the garbage juice as it runs out
And video yourself doing that
Wow, that's people who don't have enough to do in their lives, you know
Well, all I got to say is this is, okay, go any public place that's going to be full of people
Walk around and you'll understand why people do that
Well, maybe not understand
You'll believe it
You'll kind of, yeah, you'll kind of get it
Yeah, yeah
People are desperate to get noticed
We're about 20 generations deep
I, I, I, me, me, me
That's what you get
Yeah
Yep
Then you know, it's like the people who were licking doorknobs during the height of COVID as a challenge
And, you know, a number of them died of COVID, a number of them got sick
It's
Which was fine because like I, like I was saying earlier to some other people
Those were the people that were got eaten by lions in the jungle
They were the slow natives
Yeah
They were the ones that like weren't smart enough to get up in a tree
They're kind of like, hey, look at that, gone
You know, we were already in the tree
Yeah
Well, they were sitting there looking at it going, man, that's a pretty lion
And, you know, I think the reason that we're kind of hardwired to look and rubber-nack and watch
Is so we learn and we see, you know, hey, look, this person did something really stupid
Wow, look at the price they're paying
So, yeah, don't do it, yeah
Yeah
We can't look away from the dumpster fire because that reinforces how smart we were to not do what they did
We just ran people off and didn't even mean to
The guy looked over to you, let's go down here and eat
I didn't even drop the F-bomb or anything
No
I think they're being considerate, today's considerate day, what the hell
Well, we are wearing booty shorts
Well, yeah, oh, that's what scared them off, yeah
And my nipples have gotten very hard
Yeah, well, I left, he accidentally got out a little bit
Oh
So that could have been
Showing a little brain, huh?
Yeah, showing a little brain and that could have done it, you know, so
Have you heard about the new El Salvador president?
Oh, he's kind of new
Yeah, nothing much
I know he's got some radical bold new ideas
Yes, he does and they seem to be working
Cool, what's he doing?
I'll go through some of this
Okay, since 2019, El Salvador has had a new young president
His name is Naib Bukele-Ortiz
Okay
So, he is the 43rd president of the country
Naib is only 41 years old
So he got in with an IQ of 39
Wow, imagine if we elected younger people
I'm sorry, you know, back in the day
I understand that they needed all this experience
Nowadays, things are so hyper, you know, we have these kid geniuses and stuff
We need somebody more in touch
35, I think, is a better answer
That's the minimum currently, I think that should be more about what we aim for
I think 35 is the minimum age
Oh, 35
As you can be 30 should be minimum and 60 maximum
Yeah, yeah
But then you get cries of ageism
Yeah, fuck them
Anyway, back to your story
If you have any questions at all, look at current dumb dumb
And listen to anything that he has to say
And you'll understand exactly what we're fucking talking about
And I don't care if he has an R or a D in front of him
The guy's fucking losing it
He doesn't have much to work with
Well, you know, the Vatican learned their lesson by electing popes who had one foot in the grave already
The former Soviet Union learned their lesson when they were electing chairman of the Communist Party
Which is basically their leader
And they die within six months
Of course, some of that was because they were old, some of that was because they were murdered
They were murdered, yeah
But anyway, so, you know, people learned their lesson
If you really want to get technical or actually factual
Yeah, but it falls into the well, we've always done it this way category
Which pisses me off
And where's that got us?
Oh, really?
So, El Salvador has a huge crime gang problem with MS-13
I've heard of them
Yeah, and you know where they came from, don't you?
California, basically
Oh, okay, I thought they were
I don't think they came from down there and knew if they were traded up here
I thought they originated in Central America or
Maybe their very first origins, but when they got their start, I do believe
I'll have to look it up, but they were taught what
They pretty much flourished in LA
Yeah, they flourished in LA
And the prison system
Yes, the prison system specifically
Yeah
Because they run it
Yeah
So when Naib took office, I mean, they literally do, not on paper
But in every other facet, they run it
So when Naib took office, he said that anyone with an MS-13 tattoo was going to prison
They have tattoos on their face, you know
Yeah, they're pretty much required to be proud of their
Yeah
No hiding or skulking, you know, you gotta be out and proud about your
They were like right out there killing people in front with their MS-13 tattoos on their face
They're like, fuck you, what are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, then they spray graffiti somewhere bragging about it and taking credit for it
Yeah, with their, yeah, so if a kid was underage, he still was going for 10 years
Mm
So the prison
That's pretty impressive
A couple years ago, okay, the 40,000 person capacity mega prison
Mm-hmm
Largest prison on earth by far, double
The second largest is in Turkey, and that's 20,000
Wow
Yeah, in Turkey's prisons, we won't even go into there
Yeah
You don't want to be in one
Was it Midnight Run, Midnight Express?
Yeah
One of those two movies
One was comedy, the other wasn't
Midnight Inks, Midnight Inks, run
Yeah, you know what, I don't know, I'll look it up later
The president okayed a 40,000 person capacity mega prison
Largest prison on earth by far, the other closest, 20,000 in Turkey
To house all the new inmates
He also said that the chicken that was used to feed the inmates
Was paid by tax money from all the victims' parents
So he took away all the chicken, and now the inmates only receive rice
Oh, wow
But he's not stopping there
Oh, there's more to do
You know what he's going to take away with their dish network and their weight room
I bet they don't know
Here he would have to
Yeah, there they never put him in
So now the MS-13 squad seems to be running scared
Anyhow, he also took away all their clothing
Wow
And he said that if the parents of these thugs want to pay for their clothing, that's fine
They can have clothing
But again, the taxpayers are the people that these thugs killed
Right
Or got on drugs, or did whatever
Or raped, or pillaged, or whatever
Every citizen of the country is a victim of these guys
Yeah, so they're not paying for clothes either
And like he said, if you had this piece of shit, go ahead and clothe them
All right, that's fine
I bet their parents could probably send food to them if they wanted to
If they hadn't pissed off their whole family
If I was them, I'd take the food and sell it
Fuck them
So anyhow, some of them, they're running scared
Some of them are like putting on makeup to hide the facial tattoos
Some tried to hide them with other face tattoos to cover them up
Wow
He said they're going to catch all of you and you're going to prison
In addition to just rice or food, the clothes are also paid for by taxpayers
Which I went into, I kind of went off script here, but that's all right
I always do
That are all the victims of these horrible gangs
So no, no more free clothing
The prisoners do not have clothes
They even said that parents of the inmates can support the bill if they care that much
Which I agree 100%
It's like you want your little piece of crap that you run to have clothing?
Go ahead
It's not on the state
We're not paying for it
All these people that you did something to someone they loved?
No, or you?
You're not paying for it anymore
You know, El Salvador is an independent country
And they're perfectly within their rights to set their own standards
For how they keep their prisoners
And what they consider to be the minimum necessary
Human rights groups I'm sure will have a field day
But legally there's nothing that can be done
Not until we have a global government
Each country still has their own set of rules
And when you're there you've got to follow them
I wish we could do that here, but we have too many fucking idiots in the way
You can't do that!
Well why not?
They fucking killed and fucking got people on drugs and killed people and human trafficked people
And that's another prime example
When people say you can't what they mean is I don't want you to
I don't want you to, exactly
Because when they say you can't that's a totally different subject
I don't want to live in a world where someone's that fucking stupid but I have to
So there's nothing I can do about it
I'd love to live in a world where I can leave my front door open all the time
Yeah, that's a good answer there
I'd love to
But reality is that I could but I would have really awful consequences
I'd go Mr. Hand on us, so how are we to accomplish this?
Huh?
Husband Coley, how are we going to accomplish this?
Let me tell you how we're going to accomplish this
By taking every thug around and throwing him in prison not letting him see the light of day ever
That's how we're going to accomplish this
Well let's see, another good choice would be
Was that a good Mr. Hand?
That was a good Mr. Hand
You're just saying that aren't you?
I knew exactly who Mr. Hand was
You did?
Yes
I know you knew who he was
I was picturing him, yes
I loved him, what was his name?
The actor
He was also the Martian
My favorite Martian
Ray Walston
Yes, he was so good
Just the looks on his face were so good
I love Ray Walston
He could wither you with that look
I know, but I loved it
He did that dialogue, you know
Now do you know how we're going to achieve this?
I'll tell you how we're going to achieve this
You can see Spicoli over there kind of like looking up in the air with his mouth open
Everything's going right over Spicoli's head
How are we going to achieve this Mr. Hand?
Let me tell you Spicoli
So anyhow, alright, now that I derailed this motherfucker
and it's like Amtrak'd all the way off the road
Here we go
We East-Palestined ourselves
Too soon
Too soon, yeah
Sorry Ohio
Hell, they're all glowing now
We're the least second-sons
Who said what?
Oh fuck them, who cares
Growing extra heads and limbs
So Christopher, I know you're up on everything
Okay, what do you think of the new Palm Pay by Amazon?
Wow, is that where you have to give a hand job in order to get your Amazon package?
Yeah
Huh
Yeah, you reach your Palm out there and go
See, it's my Palm, give me my
Wow, I don't think I want to do that
No, me neither
I don't think so
So what is Palm Pay?
Well, Palm Pay is you pay with the wave of your hand
It's a new thing, it's part of this whole thing called Amazon One
which is alternative ways to pay
Okay
Okay, like you can pay with your watch
and they're speculating like they're going to start doing eye retina
Yeah
Or just walk in and just fucking look at something
So basically here is what I read, what they wanted to do
Now with this article came a whole bunch of baggage that I didn't want to get into
and this was the best article that I could get
but here's what I gather and if I'm a little bit off on this then so be it
Okay
What Amazon wants you to do is their physical stores
They're going to start having physical stores specifically in airports
So they have these Amazon stores and I have seen some of them
I think there's one up in Logan and Boston and there's one in Minneapolis maybe
Okay
And then, oh well, if I'm wrong I don't know
but there's a couple of them out there
Yeah, they'll put them in major hubs to start with
Yes, and they just have Amazon on the front of it
and then you go in there and it's like an, if you go on Amazon
It's like, hey these things are on special here
Look, look at these new tote bags, look at this
Glow in the dark underwear, you know, whatever
So what they wanted to do
Things you can take on the airplane
Exactly
So you're in a hurry, okay
And let's say they have one in Las Vegas, which I don't think they do
Yeah
But let's say they have one in Las Vegas International
And you're like, oh shit man, I got like 10 minutes to catch my flight
but I need a pair of earbuds
You run in there and grab your earbuds, you wave your hand up in the air
And that's it, it's taken care of
I've heard of something similar to this
That it was another type of store where they had scanning devices in it
that when you walked in, you would register with the store
So when you walked in, it knew who you were
And then as you walked around picking up items and putting them in your basket
it would scan and recognize those items as you were shopping
So when you were all done, you just walk out the store with them
and it charges you for what it believes you have in your cart
Yes, and I think it was a tech store at first
It started with a tech store and then it went into other things
I can't remember what it was, it was almost like a...
What was that one store?
Shit
That one tech store that was really big for a long time
Sharper Image
Sharper Image, yeah
It was like that, I think it started out like that
And I think, now I think it's all online
Yeah, and at the time people thought, wow this is cool
but it should have been recognized for what it was, as a test run
And because it has the handicap of people having to register in advance
give all their personal information, put all their payment information on file, get verified
Your way that you're talking about is anybody can walk in
and it'll scan you for some sort of ID or chip on you or something
Well what it is is, okay, this is some of what I didn't want to get into
because it's two pages on their contraptions, on how they work
They have this little feature thing where it reads your poem
They send it to you
So it reads the poem print
Yes, and then you send it back
Then it goes somewhere else, maybe it doesn't even go back to the store
It goes to another one, they're like, okay
Well take it down to the USP store
No UPS store
That's actually pretty smart because poem prints are as unique as fingerprints
And what's visible when you're reaching for an item? Your hand
Your open palm
So as you reach for every item, it scans and reverifies that's you
That's brilliant
That really is smart
Wow
Okay, well, first thing I thought of is
I'm not going to walk into one of those stores in case I get accidentally charged
Me too
If their system makes a mistake
If you reach for something and you didn't take it, they don't have to refund you shit
They go, no, we think you took it
Yep, yep
It's like the self checkouts at the grocery store
If there's a mistake in your checkout, the store is going to be
Well, you did it yourself, it's your fault
We're not refunding you anything
Yeah
Well, my hamburger rung up three times
No, that's too bad
You must have run it through three times or maybe you bought three of them
Yeah
Yeah, this store is going to be the same way where if any mistake happens in their favor
You're shit out of luck
Yes
So, yeah, I mean, walking into a store is now going to be pretty much just like signing the end user licensing agreement
Yeah
Just walking into the store is going to mean, all right, you're fair game, we get to charge you
Well, another thing is I read this article and it also went into how like
Is it AXAX, Axis or Ticketmaster or probably both AXS
That's a TV channel
It's also a TV channel, AXS
They both promote concerts and also sell tickets
So I think it might have been Ticketmaster's looking into this according to this article
Or they think that they're looking into this
And it's something similar to that, to where, like you put your palm up and it tells the
guy with his reader, according to your palm, where your ticket is, and then to get into
the venue, the same thing.
You go in there, you palm, and it also helps people realize, like let's say something goes
on there, like there's a big incident.
They know who all is in there.
Yeah.
Yeah, like the roof collapses, they've got a list of everybody who was in attendance.
Yeah, because right now, someone could buy tickets for you online.
It doesn't have to be you.
Yeah.
That'll cut down on scalping too.
That was the other thing I was going to go into.
That's going to ruin the scalping industry.
It will.
And I think that that's the original.
That's their number one idea right there.
And you know, if that ticket is forever tied to that one individual, there's no chance
of resale ever.
No, that's what they want.
That's the way the promoters want it, because every time it gets resold, they don't get
any money out of that.
No, they don't want it.
Everything is sold from that one standard area, and that would be ticket master or whoever
is selling the ticket.
And best possible scenario for them is if you can't go, then you just don't go.
You just don't go, yeah.
And the seat is empty.
Yeah.
They don't want you selling it to somebody else.
They miss out on a couple of beers, but they don't miss out on that three times it being
sold.
Our constant pursuit for a real knee slapper.
It's strange insults from an alien.
Real hilarity.
Hey, you sure?
Produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it and
prove that it was just the chair.
Oh shit, what's that over there?
Oh no, it's the island of horrible jokes.
If I ever find that doctor that screwed up my limb replacement surgery, I will kill him
with my bare hands.
What?
I hate it!
Oh, this is where we get worked on with this
To roguelikes and microphone.net your one stop your
Oh God, you want to write us?
You want to say something to this you want to
look for a live button when we go live you can call in all of this stuff
is right there for your application amplifier improvement
you gotta jump it's all yours to the contest
micro source is up and running
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.
I'm Mark and I'm Topher.
We're so very happy you joined us today.
Yes we are.
Were we still going to go on about
Ticketmaster and all that
or did you want to go to another subject?
How did we get there?
I can't remember.
It was with the new Palm Technology
from Amazon
and we're talking about how you go into an Amazon store
specifically in airports
is where they're targeting at first
and then they'll probably go to malls.
Yeah, yeah. I think I'd already
said everything I wanted
to bring up in that spot.
It made me think of something else
that was a different subject.
Well, the floor is yours.
Alright.
In a recent podcast
I mentioned a video game called
Skyrim
where they had AI and the...
I forgot the X-rated one, Skyrim Job.
Oh, nasty.
I really don't want to go into what happened to me
but I'm still going through therapy.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Anyway, a similar game...
I heard Robbie like Skyrim Job.
That's what I heard.
A similar game called Fallout 4
is really popular as well.
There's a lot of...
It's also an open world game.
It's set in a post-nuclear apocalypse.
There is a ton
of dialogue but not a whole lot
of role playing that can be done during the game.
A recent
mod for the game though came out
this is only for the PC
version because the
game consoles don't have the capacity
to handle something like this.
What they've done
is they've added
an enormous amount of new dialogue
options.
In the game when you want to talk to somebody
you walk up and you click on them
and you greet them
and then a whole list of dialogue
options appears. There's usually like
three. And then depending on
the one you use the person responds
in a certain way. And these
have all been pre-recorded with voice
actors. It's part of the
game. If you play the game three or four
times you've heard pretty much every
line everybody has to say.
It gets pretty tiresome. But what
this mod did is it used
what's called Prime Voice
AI. It's an artificial
intelligence voice creator.
And it listened
to the voices in the game
and then replicated
them. And all you have to do is type
in new dialogue
and this voice AI
spits it out exactly
in the same voice as the original voice actor
did. It's indistinguishable.
Isn't that amazing? Yeah.
So this got me
thinking voice actors
are going to go out of business.
Because all they have to do is record your voice
saying a certain amount and they can replicate
it perfectly. And they can have you
saying things you never said before.
And it'll sound exactly like you.
Do you know all the stuff that's going to be on the internet
now? So and so
said that he loved Hitler and he wants to be
a neo-Nazi or whatever. And then they never
said that. Someone just took and used their voice
and... Well it's used as part
of the deepfake.
Where they have a video that's
put together by an AI using
video
or existing video stills
and then sound capture of the person's
voice and it replicates and it really
sounds like that person is saying
that and then the video looks like they're doing that.
Deepfake has been around a few years and I'll tell you
what you can really
whenever you see anything like that it makes
you always wonder
if someone was like really
blatant and then I bet a lot of people get set up
like that too. Yeah.
But it was
interesting yet somehow chilling to
see that it is so
accessible now that for
entertainment purposes just
some person who decided to modify
this game was able to
access it and create
hundreds of hours of new
spoken dialogue without using
a single human being.
Wow. Yeah and it exactly
sounds like every character in that game.
That guy's going to be a millionaire too.
That's amazing.
And the opportunity to
you can resurrect long dead movie
stars and they can
Like let's see you can have
Humphrey Bogart
selling
chicken wings.
Just like
Well how about this? Here's looking at you
kid how about a nice chicken wing?
Was that him? I don't know who not.
David Grohl and
Chris Novoselic
can get back together and write new songs for
Nirvana and have Kurt
Cobain sing them.
Using this AI voice creator.
I would adore
that. Isn't that amazing to think of?
I want to see what Jimi Hendrix does next.
And I think Dave Grohl and
Chris Novoselic have
control of Cobain's
estate because they knew if
Courtney Love had it she would blow it all
on drugs. Yes. And probably
kill herself and her daughter in the process.
It's kind of like the opposite of what's
going on with Soundgarden.
Where Cornell's
widow is suing him and getting all this
stuff where I think isn't it the opposite
of
they're suing Courtney Love to try to get
her off of everything and out of everything.
Yeah I think he left it to
her but then the band mates took her
to court and said she needs a
guardian and a conservator because she can't
handle it. Yes. If you've ever seen the
movie Casino where Sharon Stone
is just out of control.
That's what Courtney Love would have wound up.
Dying in some random hotel room
hallway.
But
whoever owns the musical rights
I mean they could have
him singing existing songs
but who would have the rights
to replicate his voice
on a brand new project?
Wouldn't it have to be Courtney? I don't know.
Could it be Francis Beane?
I don't think there's a
law for this. I don't think anyone's thought
about it. This is unprecedented and it's going
to take those first lawsuits to do it.
Whoever comes up with it first
let's say that someone wanted
let me think of an old singer
Elvis.
Okay well it wouldn't be Priscilla I wouldn't
think. They were divorced
before he died. Lisa
Marie's dead.
Prince
that's a better example
because they still don't know who his estate's going to go
to with like
third you know his
fucking what is it half
sister from something or other
whatever and she's like
a crackhead or something and they don't want to give
the estate to her so they're tying it up
I thought. Wouldn't it something like
that? I can't remember. Oh well
anyhow. So that's very interesting.
I don't think they have a
law yet to assign
that kind of rights
recreational rights. So it's going to take that first
person or group
to do it. And then we're
going to have that become a
thing where people will assign rights
to somebody to duplicate
their likeness their sound
their motion whatever and then
we're going to get court cases trying to figure
out who retroactively owns
the rights for all these people who died
before this was a thing.
I want to hear more Queen. Yeah
imagine that with Freddie Mercury.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Yeah.
They could do this for guitarists.
You could have a computer
or an AI analyze the way
a person plays guitar like
Steve Clark from Def Leppard.
Yeah. Is dead.
But some
an AI could analyze the way he plays guitar.
Def Leppard could
write a guitar part for him.
The AI would play it
the way Steve would have played it.
I'd like that.
Yeah. But how about
Jimi Hendrix. Who do they have to pay in order to do that?
Jimi Hendrix another one. I mean I'm sure
he has like kin somewhere but I mean
a lot of this stuff is
really it's so groundbreaking
that it could go any way. But think
about this. Robin
was a Robin for somebody
Robin Ford Robin Trower one of them
started out as a Jimi Hendrix impersonator.
Robin Trower.
No he was Robin Ford. Anyway.
Robin Trower is a guitarist.
Anyway there was a Jimi Hendrix
impersonator. He's more of a rhythm
Trower is kind of a rhythm
guy. I mean he's good.
Bridge of Sighs. Yeah.
So there was a guitar player who was
Jimi Hendrix impersonator.
And he studied Jimi Hendrix and he
replicated all the recordings of
Jimi Hendrix as well as he could.
And then he went out and impersonated
Jimi Hendrix in like a tribute band kind of thing.
I'm not sure if I know who that was.
Maybe it was Randy somebody I didn't
remember his name. Oh well. But
what he did
was he used his human mind
to listen, interpret,
learn and then recreate. So he didn't
have to pay anything
except the regular royalties
for replaying one of Hendrix's songs.
And I would have had to pay the same royalties
for me trying to play it
and butchering it badly. But he was
recreating Hendrix just with his own
skill. You know I've been to a lot of
But that was perfectly fine. You didn't have to
pay anybody. So is it possible
let me make this point. Is it possible
that that could be a sticking point
for anybody getting paid ever?
It's like no. This
isn't you. This is our interpretation
of what you might sound like
if you did this. Which you haven't done.
It's
going to be tried. Yeah.
And that first groundbreaking one
is going to be 20 years of litigation
back and forth. And it's
going to be like, no, no, no.
I'm going, they're going to go
protest and do the
you know and do an appeal.
And then the appeal is going to do another appeal.
And it's going to be, this thing here
is like 30 years off from
actually being able to hit the market.
And the big reason
for it being tied up in litigation
isn't whether it's right or wrong
or whether we should or shouldn't. It's who
gets what share of the money. Bingo.
That's the only thing that's going to be
any issue at all in the
court system is that.
Let me put it like this. Let's say Soundgarden
wants to come up with new music and they have three
original members alive. Okay.
Yes, Chris Cornell
wrote a lot of the music. But the rest of them
did too. Kim Thal and
all those guys wrote great music.
And they were all a part of the writing
process. So three quarters
of it is still intact.
Except for Cornell's voice
and the influence that he had on the music
which was probably quite a bit.
But still, he could probably come up with
some really good music that sounds just like their other
music using
this technology. Vicki
and Vicki Cornell, his
widow in the band,
hate each other. Vicki
has been nonstop suing them for
a long time and they're counter suing.
At least one sticking point
is she blames the band for his death.
Yes.
And the thing is, is I
if there's that much question about it, then
why did she let him go out on tour?
Yeah, that's the kind of thing, is she
thinks that doing that tour
there's no way he was going to come home alive from it.
So she didn't want him to.
And she's blaming
the band for giving him the opportunity.
I was at that concert at Starlight Theater in Kansas City,
here in Kansas City,
three days before he killed himself in Detroit.
And I looked at Val,
he sang two hours
like a fucking 20 year old.
And I looked at her, and
this is the first leg of the tour, this might have been the eighth show,
eighth or ninth, and I said, there's no
fucking way him being mid-50s,
is he going to be able
to finish this tour singing like that?
I said, it's physically not possible.
And I think that was his idea,
he was going to go balls out for as long as he could.
And as soon as he couldn't, that was when he was going to end his life.
And I think it might have been
Detroit where he couldn't go balls out,
and he was just like, that was it.
I think he made that decision
not to come home from that tour alive.
And another thing is, looking at it,
he was showing signs of relief
at Starlight.
He wasn't uptight,
he wasn't weird or odd.
That means he made a decision.
He was at peace with himself because he'd already decided
and he had a plan.
That's what he's going to do, yes.
That's a big warning sign to look forward to someone who's
exhibited suicidal ideas or thoughts.
This is too sentimental
because he used to come here every summer,
he said this on stage,
his grandparents lived here,
and his dad
worked at the Cadillac store.
I forgot, we used to build
some sort of automobile
here besides like Ford and Chevy,
the GM plant and the Ford
plants that we have here.
And he was talking
about going over the Broadway Bridge,
he said, I always knew it was Kansas City, we'd go over that bridge.
He said, I thought that bridge was so neat, all this stuff.
It is a pretty cool bridge.
Yeah, so I think he didn't do it here out of sentimental stuff.
Yeah.
And I remember thinking, God, what a
big world it is to where this
kid from Seattle
used to come here every year, and he is very
familiar with it.
But I didn't catch
on until later, but he was just like,
he was relieved. He was having the time of his life
screaming it out, fucking,
you know, getting people riled up,
you know, just doing the concert stuff
that I'd never seen him do before.
I'd seen him solo in
Soundgarden several times before,
and he never had that free flow
that just like, whatever, come on,
man. So, yeah.
Yeah, kind of that euphoria glow of he'd made
the decision. He made the decision, he was at
peace with it. Yeah. And so he's kind of
fighting that brief high. And therefore
comes the singing like he did. Yeah.
So, but anyhow, yeah,
something like that I can see some problems
with, and then some other people that like all
this, all these bands that's
tied up in litigation constantly,
they're probably never going to see light today because
of the nature of it. Now, the ones
where there's not that much of a
opposition
or people with their hands in the cookie
jar, that might happen all day long.
We have the technology
currently to
have a
computer render real time
3D video of somebody,
anybody, and make it look like
it really is that person.
We now have
the AI voice
capabilities that you can have that
person say
anything in that person's
voice. And
we also have chat bot
technology
where you can imitate a personality
with
a chat bot artificial intelligence.
So how far
are we from creating like
a virtual Chris Cornell?
And when you get into the studio,
you turn on the monitor
and there's your virtual Chris Cornell, and you
talk with him, you interact with him,
you jam with him, he comes up with some
new ideas and licks.
And it's all artificial intelligence
based on what they know of
the person.
I don't know if
we'll be alive long enough to see
that technology, but
I would love to see that technology.
A lot of the strides are already there,
you could resurrect a
person, a dead person, as a
virtual version of
themselves. Or, of course, since
Americans, well, humans in general,
porn everything up, you
could have a virtual porn version
of whatever celebrity or person
you're daydreaming of.
But they're gonna act like that, it's not where they want to go.
And they would look and act and sound exactly like
the real thing. They're gonna act like that, it's not where they
wanted to go, they're gonna go, what, guys,
come on!
But you know humans are gonna porn it up.
They porn up everything they get their hands on.
You're right on that, that's what they do.
I just texted
my friend Sandor, it's gonna be off work here in about
ten minutes, and I'm gonna try to get him to come on
the show, we'll see. Don't need to give me a call.
So we'll see if he does, hopefully he doesn't
chicken out.
You got something you want to go into?
Or got some...
Yeah,
just, here is an interesting
thing I
was considering about
the Russian Revolution.
And I'm not gonna get all into heavy
historical facts or anything here, but
in 1917,
the Russian Revolution
happened and Tsar Nicholas II
was overthrown and he and his family were killed
and the Soviet Union
started at that point.
The Romanov family had been in
power for 300 years.
For the Russian Empire.
One of the things was,
as soon as Tsar Nicholas got into power,
he started
just brutal oppression
of any of his rivals
or political enemies.
People were going
into prisons, people were being tortured
and beheaded,
people were being starved,
during the famine he had soldiers
fire on women and children who
were just hungry and showing up at the
Imperial Palace
wanting food.
So he was kind of getting unpopular.
He lost the war
to Japan in 1905,
that wasn't very popular. There's a whole
Rasputin thing where his wife
was carrying on with this
supposed monk, but he's some kind of
mystical figure. He was basically a cult leader
trying to get a cult. Oh yeah, yep.
But one of the things
that made a big deal
was the
Industrial Revolution.
About 1860 or thereabouts,
while the United States was going through a civil war,
the rest of the world was going through this big
Industrial Revolution unfettered
where machines were taking the place of human labor
so people had to move into the cities
to do all these factory jobs
and machine jobs, etc.
And trains became
a lot more reliable, a lot more plentiful,
a lot cheaper.
Prior to that,
the peasants out on the Russian steppes,
all they knew of their Tsar
was he was this mystical figure
imbued by
God with these great powers
and he was nearly
godlike himself and he ran the country.
By the time that that Tsar
died in 1894,
a lot of their
what they saw
was a botched embalming.
Whoever embalmed the Tsar's body
screwed it up big time
and they only had one shot.
So the body of the
Tsar was rotting,
stank like
roadkill, and was
actually turning green.
And that's the body they put in the big fancy
casket and paraded all over
the streets of Moscow in the
fancy carriage. I remember that story actually.
And lying in state in the church
for days, he
stank like
I mean people weren't very clean
back then, but even that was just more
than they could bear. Yeah, I mean there's body odor
and then there's dead body odor.
So tens of thousands
of people got to see
their revered beloved leader
as a rotting corpse.
And all of a sudden the magic spell was broken.
These aren't great,
wonderful people touched by God.
These are just people.
And if they can be Tsar, why can't I be
Tsar? And it really
destroyed the illusion of
this selected, you know, chosen
by God monarchy. Okay.
Sandor's not going to call any as
water line repairs it is, so I guess it's probably not
even at work. So, okay.
You know, the other day
is, are you done or you got it? I was just thinking
that if they hadn't botched the
bombing, that might
have delayed the Russian revolution by
I don't know, five years, ten
years, and that
would have made a huge difference
in Hitler's rise to power.
Because having the Russians
back out of World War I
was a big deal. Yeah. And they
backed out because of the revolution.
That's a good point. Yeah.
So without that,
things could have been massively different.
Yeah, could have been. Who knows?
Just one botched embalming
and it toppled the Romanov Empire.
Yeah. Yeah.
Funny. Wow.
Want to do a lighter note?
Sure. Okay.
I was thinking the other day, like, you know,
you ever like been forced to give someone a gift
even though you didn't care for them? Yeah.
Yeah, it sucks. And it's like, you gotta
do it because, look, everyone else
is, and I know they kind of get
Benedict to you, but it's the right thing
to do, so just sack up and be a man
and get them a gift.
Well, I have an answer to some of that.
And these are gifts for people
that you hate or don't like very well.
Oh, that's excellent. So it satisfies
the social requirement of giving
a gift. Yes. Yes. But you can
still give them a
a fuck you in the end.
A fuck you in the end. Yes.
This is good.
Yeah. Well, my number one one,
and this is one of the worst gifts I could ever think of,
remember that group Hanson?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Give someone their box set.
Oh,
excellent. Yeah. Can you imagine?
Hey, Topher. Yeah.
Got your gift. Oh,
excellent. Yeah, here. Here, open it up.
It
is Hanson? Yeah.
What? You don't like
Hanson?
It'd be the let's make a deal
clunker music.
Quack, quack, quack.
My first
impulse was like give it to them on something
like 8-track, but then they'd have
an excuse to throw it away because nobody can play 8-track.
I don't have an 8-track, can I? Yeah. No, give them to
them in a format that they can play
so they have no excuse. Yeah.
Or even if they're younger, an MP3.
Yeah. I dare you to hurt my feelings
by refusing my horrible, horrible
gift. Yeah. And then they got to fake it.
They got to go, hey!
That is so good.
But anyone won't
they won't come out and just like, oh, I love him.
They'll go, I never knew what happened
to him. Yeah. Well, thank you.
They're not going to go, oh my god, I love Hanson. They're going to go,
thanks, man. Did they have that
one song? Um
bop or blap blop or
beep bop or mat bop?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beep bop. Yeah, beep bop. Thanks, Mark.
Motherfucker, son of a bitch,
fucking asshole.
Your fucking birthday rolls around.
Alright, man, I'm going to go home and play this.
No, I'm not. So, anyhow.
So, okay.
The next one is
something I actually saw on TV. It's true.
You can look it up. A book of poetry
for fish.
Oh. They say it makes
your koi and... You're supposed to read
this in the picture. Yes. Your koi and
your goldfish with better colors
and bigger
and more vibrant. So, let's say
your goldfish are just kind of like, you know, you go
out to your koi pond and they're just like sitting there
looking around, kind of dumb. Yeah.
Uh, uh, uh.
You read them this poetry and they're like going, hey,
hey, boss, what's up, man? Hey.
We're just here being fish. We got
this little fish beach ball. We got a little
little fucking net here.
You know, it's a fucking everything's great.
Because you guys read us some poetry.
I have a good one. Yeah.
Give them a book entitled
Dealing with Your Terminal
Illness. And when they look at you funny
you say, oh, didn't your doctor call yet?
Never mind.
It's just a joke.
I gotta go.
What was that? Oh, I gotta go.
My Bluetooth.
I like that one a lot.
That's kind of like when you're at a big party.
Just walk up to somebody at random
and say, you know, I don't care
what anyone else says. I'm glad you're here.
And then I'd reply,
they don't just say that about you.
Those son of a bitches.
And I was agreeing with them.
I love that.
Um, next one.
Gift certificate for Kale.
Now that's how you really
chose someone you hate.
You know, you pretty much have to redeem
those because just having them puts you on
the terrorist list. I heard Robbie loves Kale.
Yeah, I'll bet he does.
Robbie, I love you.
Now, always remember, Robbie loves
to see naked men.
So if you're a naked man, send him
a picture. Look him up on my
phone.
Look him up on my
Facebook.
Throw his inbox full of naked pictures.
Ass up.
Soon to no longer be your Facebook friend.
Yeah, probably.
He's got to be used to this. All I used to do was screw with him.
So many of them.
I used to work with a guy who
he played a joke on
his friend by enlisting
him. He called up one of those magazines
and gave him his friend's number
for the swingers list.
And he put down as the guy's
specialties
is he liked to
have anal sex while people watched.
And this guy was getting
phone calls.
He said there's this one Asian guy
kept calling him up in broken
English trying to get him to do
me. Do you ask? Me? Do you ask?
And another guy
who was a truck driver said me and
my old lady are coming through Kansas City
next week and I wonder if
you'd want to do my wife while I watch.
He's like where the hell are you getting
my number?
Oh, that wouldn't work anymore
with all the call blocking.
No, but my God.
The cruelty we used
to. I mean these were our friends that we
did this to. I know. I know.
Imagine if we didn't like you. Oh, man.
Well, I told you I used
to. You know, I'd send the play girl this before
you know being gay. Oh, yeah. Especially being
a teacher. But I sent
the play girl to
the neighbors with the wrong address and his
name.
That's genius. It is.
Because then they get it.
Oh my God. We'll
just call him Mr. Golfing Student.
Okay. Mr.
Did you see this?
This is sent to Mr. Golfenstein, but they
had the address a little bit wrong because his neighbors
to where neighbors. So it
was like one number off.
So it was to Mr.
Golfenstein, teacher
sent to his neighbor one
number off. So when they
got it, I'm pretty sure they didn't run
it over to him. They're just
a secret Iggy about him.
Mr. Golfenstein, you know, he gets it his house.
They've been sending it
to us. You know, it wasn't that long
ago that if
a public school teacher
had a subscription to Playboy,
they would get fired.
I mean, that hasn't been all
that. That was like maybe 40, 50 years ago.
You know what? If the people didn't
like him, they probably could have got him fired.
I bet you they could have. That would have been enough.
No, I know.
An immoral attitude. This wasn't meant to get
fired. It was meant to embarrass him.
And you know, as a kid, but he was
a real son of a bitch. But isn't that funny
that at a certain point it's a joke,
but prior to that, it's a fireable offense?
I know. I know. And yeah.
It doesn't make a whole lot of
sense in today's society. It's like
really? It's like why would they care
what he did, you know? He wasn't
touching kids. That's the thing
where people, well like really
narrow minded people, well they're geared to like
men. Yeah, men, not little boys.
Just like we're geared to like women,
not little girls. Yeah, there
is nothing hetero
or homosexual about pedophiles.
No, and that's where people like
used to get their grandstand from and be like
well look, they don't really like boys.
No. Okay.
Well it's just like rape has nothing to do
with sex. It's a physical
attack. Pedophilia is
a physical attack. It has nothing to do
with sex or
gender preference.
Well here's what gets me is... It's pedophiles
hunt within either their own gender
or the other gender.
Why didn't they go after swingers then?
See, there's no sexual, there's nothing
sexual involved. No, I know. They are
predator hunting prey.
So, yeah,
confusing anything
you know
that's where the term sexual assault
needs to go away. Yeah, I agree.
Because there's nothing having to do with sex.
You could call it
something else. Capital assault or
just make up a term for it or something.
But yeah, quit associating any of that
with sexual desire.
Because there's none involved there.
That's true. Alright, I'm going to get back online here.
Bag of sawdust.
What do you do with a bag of sawdust?
Absolutely nothing.
Except throw it away.
Bag of sawdust. It gets a point across
if you think about it. Like oh, hey,
what do you get?
Well, I guess it could be a fiber supplement.
Yeah, don't look at the
you put it in as a food stretcher.
I don't know. Because they do it,
they used to do it, I don't know if they still do.
They used to do it in a hamburger.
They were
permitted to throw in sawdust
in something else. I forgot what else.
Taco Bell for many years
put
oatmeal in their meat
and called it a seasoning.
Instead of a filler.
So that's how they got away
saying zero filler, 100% ground beef.
Yeah. Because they don't do that anymore.
And another
little secret is they ground that
they ground the oatmeal up to make it fit the
hamburger profile too.
Another one.
Southwest Air Voucher.
Enjoy!
Were you not going to make it too?
Yes.
Then the second one right next to it is
American Airline Voucher.
Yeah.
Hey, enjoy wherever
you're not going to. Good luck.
Nice to see you.
The next one.
Bag of
Brussels Sprouts.
Oh yeah. Yeah. I want you
to eat these horrible little fucking round things
and then fart your ass off.
I actually did come up with another good value
to use for Brussels sprouts. What is it?
Sling Shot Ammo.
Okay.
I'd rather get hit by a rock than with a
Brussels sprout. Because a rock just
hurts. Brussels sprout is going to hurt and then
stank.
Yep. I like
that.
Next one.
Raiders Flag.
Speaking of pedophiles,
Raiders Flags are
very popular among
pedophiles and ice cream
truck vendors. Which are also
pedophiles. Oh, same thing. Yeah.
I can totally believe that.
I've heard the Raiders Flag is the number one
decoration used in
prison conjugal visits.
To wipe up.
Give me a Raiders Flag.
I gotta wipe my dick off.
I need to get your ass off of my dick. Really?
You want to wipe your dick with a Raiders Flag?
Why don't you use some poison ivy instead?
That's the last time I'm fucking you in the ass.
That's it. It's over.
But, but, but
Reggie. Shut up.
So, anyhow.
Let's see.
Okay. Raiders Flag.
An MP3 of hours of dentist drill
sounds. Or
if they're over 50, a CD.
Yeah.
And label it sleep.
Yeah, sleep.
Hey, hey, Tofer.
Oh shit, what's
that over there?
Oh no.
This island of horrible jokes.
Ugh.
Ooh,
that's a good call.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh shit, what's
that over there?
Oh no.
This island of horrible jokes.
Ugh,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
horrible jokes. I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She didn't show up.
Dentist drill sounds. Or if they're over 50 a CD.
And leaflet.
Sleep.
Yes, sleep.
Here you go. Hey, hey, Tofer. Tofer?
I'm getting all choked up.
Hey, here I got something for you.
Oh, what is it?
It's a CD of dentist drill sounds.
Oh, thank you, I guess.
No need to make a big deal. You're welcome.
Tell me when he's not looking. I'm throwing away.
What? I missed that. What did you say?
Okay, next one. Free vacation to East Palestine, Ohio.
Via Amtrak.
Too soon.
No, not anymore. It wasn't the beginning of the podcast.
I've done it like five times now. Now we cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It good. It good.
And then finally, your subscription to Deuce Bag and Microphone podcast.
That was the capper right there. That's just like a...
Yeah, it will also include the transcript.
So you can wallpaper your room with it.
Yeah, coincidentally we do now have a transcript.
So you can read how horrible we are so you don't have to listen to us.
You can go, oh my God, look at this. Look at the first five sentences.
No, I'm not waiting.
From the makers of Who Bit My Asshole Board Game and Balloon Art with Fawcac's video series,
it's two douchebags in a microphone and action figures.
At now, get a free bag of flaming hot Cheetos, a bottle of antibiotics, and three free bullets.
That's right, dress your douchebag up and send him off to horrible scenarios all day long.
We're soon to get a free at-home tent piercing kit.
That's right, free home tent piercing kit, new from Chizbro.
Two douchebags in microphone dot net, you're one stop for everything douchebaggery.
You want to write us? You want to say something to us?
You want to look for a live button? When we go live, you can call in.
All of this stuff is right there for your ear holes and eye holes.
You got it, chumps. It's all yours.
Two douchebags in microphone dot net is up and running.
Hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button.
Hey, where do they go? Where are the douchebags?
Oh my god, someone took a dump in the corner. Oh jeez.
Ugh, glad they're gone. Let's just hope they don't come back.
Man, that smells.